#of if you hit 5 points i think youre fired i think thats what it is

[friendly-neighborhood-hermit]

It's so crazy and awful that I, as an American citizen of the US, have to weigh my options of "go into work and get paid" or "call off and stay home because you aren't feeling 100%" and more often then not I'll choose to go in because it could mean my job is on the line if I call off, because corporate hates its employees more than 90% of the time- wait let me rephrase, corporate LOVES money, and doesn't care about its employees, so if you're not in work bringing in profit, your not seen as useful, they dont care if you're feeling ill

[gallusrostromegalus]

You ohhhandedly mentioned tessai livong through ww2 and… wow thats true there were a lot of characters that got a first row seat to both conflicts, even if only the second was really impactful on japans history. Does urahara, yoruichi, tessai, the vizored or any of the shinigami have any specific feelings on ww2/the nuclear bombs? I know its a wild fucking question but it literally just occurred to me and i cant stop thinking about it.

Yeah WW2 is an entire 5-chapter arc in the fic because apparently Kubo is from Hiroshima, and Karakura town is based on his memories growing up there. Stuff that happens during that arc:

The Soul Society's sole warning that something catastrophic might be coming is the arrival of an irradiated and enraged Coyote spirit from the Trinidad test site. It's up to Newly-appointed captain Komamura to calm it down and explain what happened, and Mayuri is able to work out that atomic weapons are real from it's descriptions. He gives Soul Society about a month before the humans drop one on a city.

Unfortunately, he's correct.

***

Urahara and the Visoreds use the fact that they're already dead to mitigate some of the damage from the bombing by walking into the epicenter and shoving carbon rods into the most radioactive points, stemming much of the radiation damage, but there's nothing they can do for the initial wave of destruction.

It involves going through a new gigai every trip and learning what if feels like to have the flesh actually melt off your bones, but Hirako Shinji and the other Visored are no cowards, least of all about Hard and Dirty Work.

Tessai makes Ururu and Jinta out of spare parts from Urahara's Gigai experiments to house a heavily damage Kitsune and Tanuki spirit pair from a shrine that was destroyed. Ururu is the Tankuki, and the older one- Jinta seems a bit more 'organic' because Tessai learned a lot making his sister, and because as a Kitsune, he's a better actor.

***

Soul Society is in major trouble though.

with the sudden influx of souls- first from the bombing, but then from the radiation sickness and the famine that followed, the living and spirit worlds are in danger of becoming unbalanced.

It's a Major Crisis!

Fortunately for them, people with sociopathy tend to operate really well during Crises, and I realized the reason Mayuri hasn't been fired or killed by the time Ichigo shows up is that when shit hits the fan, Mayuri's lack of emotional response to the suffering of others means he can buckle down and fucking DELIVER.

Expansions to the pocket dimension that the queue of incoming souls is housed in? He didn't sleep for two weeks to get it done on time, but there was more than enough room when the bomb dropped and for the few months after as casualties continued.

Emergency rations for all these incoming factory workers that know nothing about farming? Behold, Nutritionally complete meals that you can eat right out of the box! And smaller, friendlier ones for the kiddies!

Hell, the 12th division even makes instructional propaganda videos about how safe and tasty these new foods are, featuring The Grand Clown Himself, and distribution centers featuring his likeness, so Mayuri enjoys a peculiar popularity in the Rukongai, not unlike an off-brand and sometimes educational Krusty The Clown.

Just ah. Stop asking questions about the ingredients list.

***

"I'm not fucking killing civillians." Says Kenpachi when Yamamoto begins to bring up the historical method that the Shinigami have used to balance out sudden influxes of souls from the living world.

"Oh?" Yamamoto glares at him. "You have a better idea?"

"What's them big fuckers that come outta tears sometimes? Hundred feet tall, black, bird faces?" He asks, waving as he tries to remember the names.

"...Menos Grande?" asks Ukitake, who has gotten remarkably good at interpreting for the man next to him at meetings.

"Yeah!" Zaraki grins, patting his six-foot-tall colleague on the head like a small child. "You said they're like... combination creatures of a thousand souls each right?"

"Zaraki is correct." Pipes up Tousen, who is also extremely eager to not murder civilians and even more eager to absolutely fuck up the army of Menos Aizen has been gathering in Hueco Mundo. "-It wouldn't be *easy* but dispatching approximately Five hundred Menos in the next week seems much more doable and much, much more morally sound than killing five hundred thousand civillians. Sir."

Kaname can feel the curse nails on his back starting to bleed from Aizen's glare but he presses on.

"-There appears to be a significant population of them gathered on the far eastern edge of Hueco Mundo. It would probably take most of the 11th Division's forces but-"

"IKKAKU!" Zaraki is already bellowing out the door to his lieutenant. "TELL EVERYONE TO PACK AN EXTRA PAIR OF PANTIES, WE'RE GOING ON A HOLLOW HUNT!"

There is a distant but enthusiastic whoop form Ikkaku in reply.

"An excursion into Hueco Mundo is exceptionally dangerous." Unohana notes, voice placid as he returns to the table.

"-and? I don't do this job because it's safe 'n' easy." Zaraki shrugs.

Her neutral expression softens just a bit into a small, affectionate and perhaps ever-so-slightly lascivious smile. "May I suggest that a detachment of the 4th Division accompany the 11th? It won't make the work easier, but it will mitigate some of the risk."

Yamamoto groans, aware that the decision has been made for him.

"Fine." He grunts. "Take a detachment of the Ninth too, you can use that newfangled radiodar whatsit to keep me updated."

"Pardon?" Mumbles Kaname, slightly woozy from blood loss.

His circulatory situation is not helped when an illusion-blind-to-the-blood Zaraki grabs him about the middle and starts carrying him off under his arm in exactly the direction the 9th and 11th are not like a particularly bewildered purse Chihuahua.

***

Aizen... almost strays from his path.

The Hogyoku is slow and tiresome, his first plan to barrage Karakura with Menos to create the Oken is being trashed and actually being forced to work his job of Rukongai Management is- Well, it's reminding him just why he started this quest to Dethrone God.

What loving creator would make an afterlife of squalor, where the 'lucky' are cursed to outlive everyone they know and love? Not one worth worshiping, surely.

But actually being out here, setting up emergency food distribution, implementing the latest in civil engineering from the newly arrived and seeing it immediately improve the quality of life, uniting families and... actually helping people? it's making him question his path. Perhaps- Perhaps God is not some uncaring regent on a distant throne. Perhaps God is something that lives in all souls, a kindness and goodwill towards one's fellow man, and to spread the will of a loving creator, one must Act to Enact God's Will...

Gin Panics.

He has not spent the last 300-odd years dangling the Hogyoku in front of Aizen, stuffing him full of spiritual energy to feed to the machine that generates reality like he was fattening up a goose for Pate, only to have him give up his quest for divinity NOW.

He's gonna have to do something drastic.

He's gonna have to convince Aizen he was right all along, and that he needs to keep using the Hogyoku.

He's going to need to use Aizen's own Illusions against him, and convince Aizen that the souls of the citizens of the rukongai aren't worth playing a Benevolent God for. That the whole thing needs to come out and be replaced.

Sure, it's a dick move

but those are his specialty.

***

It's the night before the 11th and the two detachments are supposed to leave for Hueco Mundo, and Yamamoto's been doing some thinking.

He is also in Zaraki's quarters at midnight sharp. "Captain-General." Nods Unohana, pausing mid-activity to acknowledge him. "Bruh." Zaraki grunts to indicate they were busy. "I need to borrow Zaraki for an hour or so, and then you may continue." he says, and then steps back outside so the man can get untied and dressed.

"This better be good old man, I know you haven't been married for a few centuries but REALLY-" Zaraki grumbles, emerging and putting his sandals on. "Don’t worry, it’ll take twenty minutes tops, all you have to do is stand behind me and don’t hide your rage." Yamamoto explains. "-We'’re going to go see the central 46." Zaraki pauses mid-sandal, slowly looking up at him with an intrigued arch to his brow. "Yes, it’s forbidden." Yamamoto says, not tearing his gaze away from the moon above them. "-But I've received reports that the Central 46 has acquired blueprints of the... Device. Used in the living world earlier this month and I'm nipping this at the damn bud." Zaraki grins, and finishes putting his sandals on.

The Central 46 are alerted to the Presence of Yamamoto and Zaraki by the main gate to their district being kicked through the wall of the council chambers.

"Hello, Sages and Wise Councilors of the Soul Society!" The Old Man greets them as he steps through the hole he just made, and The Barbarian squeezing through after, sword casually over his shoulder. "Well isn't this a surprise, everyone here in a full meeting at One in the Morning on a Teusday!"

"Wh-What is the meaning of this?" one of the head councilmen sputters, mustache bristling. "Shinigami are forbidden form this place, I'll have you both execu-!"

"Shut up." Yamamoto glares, and sparks fly from the corner of his eye. The hem of his Haori is starting to smolder and singe as well as he approaches the table the councilors are crowded around the blueprints from the living world.

"Now, we are all good and honorable people here." Yamamoto says, casually waving a hand in what would normally be a placating gesture but now only made his sleeve flicker as Ryujin Jakka grew hungrier. "-But I've been around long enough to know how Power corrupts."

"And we've all been exposed to a new, horrific level of Power."

"Oh, of course, you would never! It's unthinkable to sink to such a level!"

"...but it's been a few weeks. The initial shock has faded, and you're starting to understand the full toll of the destruction." he explains, strolling up, the diamond insignia on his back spreading across his shoulders as the Haori singes. Behind him, Zaraki is following with an unpleasantly carnivorous stroll, yellow eye lazily moving from face to face, taking stock of all those present. "...and you are perhaps developing a new standard of devastation and suffering to wish upon your enemies."

There is some muttering, some protesting, and worse, some agreeing. They are silenced by a sudden electric crackle of Energy from Zaraki.

"I’m just here to tell you all-" Yamamoto continues, unperturbed. Or perhaps so perturbed he's warped all the way around to a deep, ruthless peace.

"If I hear any ONE of you has taken steps to develop a weapon like this-" he points a finger at the blueprints, which singe and then burn, a low, slow flame that reduces them completely to ash.

"-I’m going to kill all of you."

"Actually," he explains, as the blueprints finish burning and the table catches as well, fire blooming and crackling, lighting him from beneath. "I’m going to kill all of you and your families. By which I mean, I’m figuring out who all your ancestors were going back Five generations, Kill them, and kill all their descendants."

The table burns, and the floor is threatening to catch, but nobody can move to ring the fire alarm or grab a bucket of water.

"-Because that’s the kind of indiscriminate destruction these things cause." he explains. "It's a damn shame to say this, but this is the first time we've been able to settle whole families in the same town- because five, six, even seven generations of families, from great-great grandmother to the newest infants were burnt together in an instant."

"So if you want to wield that kind of destruction, you best be prepared to deal with those kinds of consequences." he growls, and suddenly sweeps his hand over the fire, which snuffs out immediately.

Slowly he turns to go, and regards Zaraki behind him.

"Oh, and just in case any of you had thoughts of hastening my retirement in regards to this matter-" he speaks up, and points to Zaraki "-Near as I can tell, this asshole is immortal and indestructible, so if I happen to be dead, he'll do it for me, won't you?"

"Yes, sir." Zaraki Nods, eye fixed on the head councilor, committing his face to memory, blade and crackling eagerly.

"-and he's nowhere near as speedy and clean a killer as I am, so I suggest you don't test either of us." Yamamoto grins, and Ryujin Jakka can't help but flicker off his brow for emphasis.

"Goodnight, and go fuck yourselves." Yamamoto bows, and exits through the same hole he entered.

The walk back to the 11th is largely silent, but Yamamot can feel the pleased-yet-curious thrum of reiatsu from Zaraki.

"Question, boss-" he suddenly speaks as they approach the 11th.

"You're not supposed to question orders, Zaraki." He sighs. He'll make a proper shinigami out of him. Eventually.

"...Request for clarification, Boss-" Zaraki tries again, and Yamamoto nods. "-Why me?"

Yamamoto arches an overgrown brow at him.

"Not complainin'-" Zaraki explains, pointedly looking up at the moon and scratching his neck in deferment. "-But Byakuya's got more sway with them and Gin's definitely better at terrifying first impressions."

"Hm." Yamamoto nods. "It's in the follow-up, not the impression, you see."

"I do not." Zaraki says. For all his faults and frustrations, Zaraki sure keeps Yamamoto on his toes about not being lazy and actually explaining himself.

"-I am very serious about you killing them and their descendants if they ever think about making one of those devices." he sighs and Zaraki nods, waving a hand for him to continue. "-So I picked the Shinigami most invested in a peaceful future to make sure my orders would be carried out."

Zaraki still looks confused.

"You're my only captain with children, Zaraki." Yamamoto explains. "I know you only give half a rat's ass about the court guard, but I've seen what you'll do for Yachiru."

Zaraki nods understanding now, and a few more paces of silence pass between them.

"...Thank you, Sir." Zaraki mutters, bowing his head and using the honorific with genuine intent for the first time since Yamamoto had known him. "-For understanding."

"Thank you, Captain Zaraki." Yamamoto nodded slightly, stopping before the gate to the 11th. "-For understanding as well."

"-Now get back to Captain Unohana before she schedules some sort of blood test of a thousand needles for me!" Yamamoto grunted, prodding at Zaraki with his cane, and the man didn't need to be told twice.

[celestialtarot11]

Career Guidance + Messages 💼🥂🌃

Hi friends! Welcome to another PAC post 💌💖 thank you all for supporting me! We’re going to be getting you some career advice + messages regarding that! Happy picking ✨🌹

Pile 1: 9 of pentacles • The Tower • King Of Swords

Hi there pile 1’s! 💗🤗 Welcome to your reading. For some of ya’ll, maybe you received a short notice you were fired? Or for someone tried to either gossip about you, or fire you. Or cause some sort of situation at work where your reputation could’ve been damaged. Im sorry if that did happen pile 1’s, I do see you’re caring for yourself and currently living in your own world 💅🏻 as you should! If you got fired spirit is saying you didn’t deserve that, and you may actually have a chance to get a better job, a job you actually love and feel comfortable with. Im getting this massive download that some of ya’ll were waiting for someone or a group of people to receive their karma? They may have done you dirty in the past and now you’ve seen them receive it. I feel like spirit is saying continue caring for yourself, and if you’ve been losing sleep over finding another job, attract that opportunity 💗 spirit will make it known to you. You will rebuild after a loss or stagnation in your career and your reputation will improve. There is some sort of truth that this person or group hid that’ll bite them in the ass is what I heard 👀 pile 1’s, I hope this resonated for you. And I hope you can move on and do whats best for you to move forward in peace and love 🤍

Pile 2: King of Pentacles • Ace of wands • 5 of wands

Hi there pile 2’s! Welcome to your reading 💗🤗 I see you are financially stable or are reaching a point of stability and I heard this was a long time coming! You’ve been working your butt off is also what I heard, and you’ve faced many days and nights with conflict, issues and petty drama. Spirit is saying things will solidify and take a more consistent approach in your career, and your passion for life and making money will return. Some of ya’ll may actually enjoy the rush, you feel motivated and inspired to take action and maybe your next job/career will require you to be physically active. Or maybe it already does. But spirit is saying you may receive a bonus or promotion soon for your hard work! You will be recognized! 💗 I also see a lot of other people trying to one up you, so maybe this was an issue you faced in your career. People may have tried to compete against you and show off, but at the end you’ll be receiving a beautiful reward with recognition 🤍 and your own money is a sign of how much you’ve worked too so be proud! Spirit is very proud of you 🤗 make sure to rest and not burn yourself out as well, if you’ve been working a lot pile 2’s. Thank you for reading & please feel free to comment like or reblog! Have a great one 💗

Pile 3: 4 of pentacles • Page of cups • 3 of cups

Hi there pile 3’s! 🤗 welcome! I see for a while ya’ll have been saving up and now have an opportunity to spend on a night out 👀 you may get to know your coworkers a lot more and make friends! I see its a time for celebration too, so maybe you hit your goal amount either now, or in the future and you’ll want to celebrate with the people around you 💗 wonderful job pile 3’s! There may be a party at work or around you. For guidance, I feel that its important to get out there and get to know who is around you and what, especially if you’ve been focused on work for a while. Emotionally it’ll help you feel less pressured and more comfortable. I think you are the pile to stay alone and reserved, and thats understandable! So it may take some time for you to open up but I see plenty opportunities to get to know coworkers 🤗 you may also have a new coworker joining in! Someone you’ll get along greatly with and have fun with at work. I also feel some of yall have been saving up to be able to buy your sibling or friend a beautiful gift and now you can surprise them! I love this and I think they’ll love the gift, especially since its from you 🤍 for some of yall specifically that’ll resonate. Overall, work will improve and become fun if things have been stagnant or slow! Enjoy pile 3’s and please feel free to comment, reblog and like 💗

Pile 4: The Lovers • Ace of pentacles • 6 of cups

Hi there pile 4’s! 🤗 honestly this is such a sweet but hot and heavy energy 👀 I heard you’ll possibly be partnering up with someone of your dreams… romantically speaking. They may come in the form of a coworker, partner of some kind. But they will have lots of resources, money and resources to help you with any project, or anything! This could be a romantic opportunity as well, and a chance to bond with someone at work. They’ll help you financially and in some other ways…👀 is what I heard. I also heard you’re getting all in one 😂 whoever this person is, they’re cheeky and mischievous, but hella charming. And very smart. You’ll be getting a bonus or promotion soon! And will approach financial stability in the future. I see lots of cute moments and overall you’ll be enjoying your time at work. You’ll be feeling lighter, joyful, happy and expressive with the people around you. You’ll be feeling connected to what it is you do! This person could also show you another job opportunity too, so maybe some of yall are unhappy with your current job and this person comes in and gives you another reason to like them 😂 (another job) omg they’re so smooth and quick with it! Major flirt. Enjoy pile 4’s 👀 feel free to comment, like and reblog 💅🏻🤍

Thank ya’ll for reading! Feel free to like comment and reblog 🌟💗 thank ya’ll for the support! This was so much fun to do.

Paid Readings 🌟🤍

[10000-paper-nohara-rins]

ranking naruto characters by how good they would drive if they knew what cars were:

sakura: 4/10. technically she does have a liscence but god knows how she got it on account of the sheer amount of traffic violations she racks up every time she gets in a car. drives a honda civic and brags about it even though its literally not that fancy. exclusively plays true crime podcasts while driving but blasts them like at hard rock volume. thinks turn signals are a mark of the devil and that all speed limits are marked by at least 15 under the real limit. you will get to your destination on time. but at what cost.

sasuke: -5/10 the man cannot drive. he gets negative points because hes a terrible influence in the passengers seat. the main people he steals rides from are naruto and sakura and they are ultra-possesive of the aux cord so he doesnt get it often but when he does he WILL be playing the minecraft soundtrack. tells people to hit old ladies crossing the street for "extra points." doesnt mean it.

naruto: 2/10 weirdly cautious but it might be warented because he is awful. drives five under the speed limit at all times but not on purpose he nust doesnt know how to read a speedometer. if sasuke is in the car with him they WILL get pulled over because naruto got so distracted he almost hit a tree. plays country music and drives a slugbug

kakashi: 8/10 drives a mustang and is so so anxious every time he gives anyone a ride because he doesnt wanna be responsible for killing them. no one is allowed to play music when he is driving because it scares him. when hes alone he drives like a madman because he has no regard for his own life <3

obito: 1/10 drives like hes actively being pursued by the police. thinks he is good enough to drift. he is not. his trashy little nash rambler has been on its last legs for 4 years and its a miracle it hasnt given up completely because he slams it into fire hydrants at least once a week. plays taylor swift exlusively. any attempts to change this will end with you kicked out of his car. which might be for the best.

rin: -6/10 cant drive and actively makes a game of giving bad directions to the driver. she thinks its fun. tells people to hit old ladies crossing the street for extra point and means it. if given the aux she will play "10 hours of silence occationally broken by falling medal pipe" because that is uniroincally her favorite song.

tsunade: 5/10 refurbishing a old mozda named tangerine. shes gotten weirdly attatched to it and keeps humanizing it to an uncomfortable degree. uses her knowledge of the human body to draw comparisons between rumaging atound in the car guts and actual surgeries she has preformed before. also she doesnt use turn signals.

orochimaru: 10/10 cant drive but instead of hounding people for rides he takes the bus. literally the most normal about transportation out of everyone on this list so he gets full points.

hiruzen: 3/10 drives an electric car because he feels bad about his carbon footprint even though hes not actually making that much of a difference :/ has hit bikers on multiple occations

danzo: 7/10. hes actually a pretty good driver but i have to take away points on account of the fat that he uses his white windowless van to kidnap children and transport assassins to kill his rival politicians.

minato:-700/10 drives a cybertruck

kushina: 2/10 cant drive but at least shes a decent passenger. will deliver devistating insults for the drivers honor and also shoot at any cars that deserve it (she carries around a pistol). only okay at helping with directions but thats fine because at least shes not actively working against the driver.

[ladysomething]

oh hun, and anon whose birthday was Idk when (hbd by the way! and don't worry, you're still young, love) if you guys feel old, how am I supposed to feel (early 90s baby here) 😖

the only reason I have not gone insane this week over the lack of wygig, has been weariness. first time I'm actually thankful for my shitty working hours.

and you know who IS going insane?? my brother! who actually has normal working hours! good for you maddie, having a random man drooling across the world, crawling up walls waiting for your moment to come back. (talking as if I was not the same) and nahh, the fisting is nothing. they've seen me read this stuff for yeaaaars. well not exactly but you get what I mean

honestly I shall praise. I have nothing else to do right now, and as I can't over analyze this week's chapter, I must yap about why I love your way of writing. and over analyze the snippet.

1. your way of writing is one of my favorites in ao3. you have this talent to get in people's heads and make them NEED to see more. crack. cocaine. I guess my mom would be much more happy that her children are addicted to this rather than irl drugs. mad(s) respect for that.

2. you're kinda a mastermind as well. everything is so well thinked and planned. kudos to saiyanwitcher as well for helping you out with this one. beautiful.

3. your characterization kills it. look, I've NEVER met this people, let alone think they would actually be in this situation. but. if they had to go through something like it. this is the way I think they would be like. I can bet on it. swear even. it just. fits. lovely.

4. I love that you make these long chapters that feel like nothing. you just inhale them. every time I read you I'm always looking at the little bar in the screen that tells how far along we are. I just don't want it to end. but even if you leave a cliffhanger, the chapters always feel complete. like it was meant to finish there. no more no less no further ahead. perfect.

5. I love how you engage with us. feed us crumbs and see how the world sets in fire, sometimes going insane with us too. is just refreshing. I like to imagine you in your couch, throwing us a bone and laughing at how we go nuts about it.

+1. I love the Max crush that you created in me. thank you very much for that. lives were changed. eyes were opened.

+2. my brother and I were going crazy over jealous Charlie. I quote him "oh lui è innamorato. che bello. y no se da cuenta! sei molto stupido Charle" (that's 'oh he is in love. and he doesn't even realize! you are very stupid Charle' for you) Imagine that with angry hand movements and frustrated pacing through a kitchen with a pan on his hand. proper italian, my brother. lost some points throwing some spanish in there but I would still give him like a 8.3/10 for the performance. go and sink us even more in the stereotype/jk

+3. I was today years old when I found out saiyan was the way english speakers write saiyajin. I even had to google and triple check it because I wasn't sure whether it was actually like that or my dislexic brain was just messing with me.

all to say. I love everything you write. give me that fire changed my brain chemistry first. I also found out way too much later than I would've wanted that it was your fic as well. not today but still not so long ago. lovely beautiful thing it was too.

birthday anon started it!!!

also what can I say ... thats my sheer power .. random men drooling across the world ... 💅 but also, them knowing that you read that stuff and reading it with you is very different I fear.

thank you 😭😭 that's very kind, and I'm so happy that that's the effect it has. it's exactly the effect I want!

@saiyanwitcher is the real mastermind tbh. I just write it!

personally I think characterisation is one of my strongest points as a writer, so I'm glad that it hits for you like it does for me!

ahhh I'm so glad they go fast! sometimes I write a chapter and I'm like ... this is 10k of absolutely nothing .. how boring.

I do absolutely laugh, I'm sorry. I laugh a lot.

+1. I'm so glad I've encouraged you to see the light. my Max crush rages fiercely every single day.

+2. YOU'RE ITALIAN?! please remind your brother that my DMs are open if he and his gf break up.

+3. I'll be so for real. I have no idea what you're talking about.

omgggg I'm so glad you loved GMTF too. my fave fic of mine tbh.

thanks for dropping in as always!!

[the-ghost-of-a-spirit]

watching mha season 6, ep 1-14

@maidofdarkness23

i may or may not have watched all this in the span of 3 days, but thats okay

Episode 1

so this is the paranormal libaration war arc i've heard so much about

not a fan of this intro

am not mentally good enought to get this, so typing it down so it sticks. we got 2 groups, endevour and edgeshot. each group does a thing and students help them

why does this have to start with plot. can we have a fun bit at some point?

"i'd never imagined he'd keep us in the loop like that" -natuso(?) about endevour

i need something fun to happen, can we get something funny to happen?

scary mic sure is something

Episode 2

"who else is gonna step in train all my useless children" dadzawa confirmed

mirko is cool

assuming nomu have basic anatomy, wouldn't they be really easy to defeat? their brains are literally exposed

kaminari/jiro ?

kaminari is cool in the last scene

Episode 3

"Nice line, you sound cool!" "Leave me alone" - see, this is why i love tamaki

tokoyami is so small what. baby bird man

okay, so hawks and twice were having a moment, now we got dabi

so, hawks has been training to be a hero since he was a kid, he looked up to endevour (had an endevour doll) ans said him and fire don't mix. his name is also kaygo takami, and dabi knows that. hawks may also have killed best jeanist?

twice no

i'm not okay about this

Episode 4

i like fatgum, but only fat fatgum, not skinny fatgum

hawks has trauma, doesnt he (dont they all)

at some point someone has tried to have a staring contest with aizawa. no one ever wins against him.

so mic/aizawa is a thing right?

Episode 5

love how the 2 birdmen are both weak to fire (tokoyami cause light, hawks cause fire burns)

"booty incoming!" - fatgum is now on the favourites list

oh hey, makiya is doing stuff now. thats not good

Episode 6

deku and shigaraki should become besties.

deku using blackwhip is so spiderman

i'm not okay about ryukyu (i'm a sucker for dragons, what can i say)

Episode 7

eri!

shigaraki does not want to become afo

oh hey its big guy (I don't know his name)

Episode 8

makiya is the Villan ashido faced in kirashimas backstory?

impressed at how long aizawa has been going for

aizawa got shot with the anti-quirk bullet

Episode 9

hey... uh, is aizawa okay, like mentally? he was going on some rant AND CUT OFF HIS FUCKING LEG while thinking about eri?? like man. and then we get hit with the intro.

oh hey, its todoroki (shoto)

so, aizawa lived, he's got that going for him

okay, golem guy's name is gigantomachia/machia (had to google it)

so no one has died yet (i think, at least no one important)

is majestic important? i don't think i've seen him before, but momo knows him

also if they've been at ua for a year now, does that make them 2nd year's now? does that mean the big 3 have graduated?

deku has unlocked new quirk called float, so he has 3 now (base ofa, blackwhip and float)

take a minute to look at this

istg if bakugo dies cause of that

Episode 10

give my guys a break, let them go to school and do normal stuff for a bit

"with no sun in sight" -i could take this places, but i wont

holding out for a shigaraki redemption arc

a toga redemtion arc would be nice too

i dont trust that old lady

I WAS RIGHT, SHE'S TOGA

Episode 11

i wonder if this episode is the dabi-todoroki reveal (its called dabi's dance so maybe)

so jeanist did not die, wonder what happened to him

bakugo lived

so we got the big reveal (dabi dumped some liquid onto his hair, which made it white and said "call me toya cause its the name you and mom gave me) so lets see where this goes

dabi, shirtless on tv "ive killed 30+ innocent people" like dude, can we just chill for a bit

whoo, explaination time! so, why is your skin like that. please tell me

dabi is not okay, like dude is going full on villain monologue

wait what's natsuo's quirk? fyumi has frost, dabi has fire, shoto has both, but what about him (googles it) okay its frost also

its best jeanist

Episode 12

i need to see a hero who does puns. jeanist does comparisons, but thats not a pun, i need to see someone make bad jokes. for enrichment

WAIT MIRIYO'S BACK?

eri!

"great explosion murder god dynamite" bit long, bit violent, but hey

love how ida used his name, like he straight up used that sentance as bakugo's name

Episode 13

can we spare a minute to talk about dabi's flames, specifically the fact their blue. i dont know much about this stuff, but blue fire is alot hotter than normal fire, so yeah, thats interesting

theres something wrong with jeanist, like he's been bleeding a bunch

deku is right. we need to redeem shigaraki

also this music is sad as hell

machio reminds me of the httyd bewilderbeast.

wow alot of people got hurt

Episode 14

okay so there's a guy in a car and I think he's evil. he looks familiar but idk who he is

yep he's evil

we got a new intro

so this looks like the start of a new arc. I'll do this episode then I'll do a new post

in the intro there's a purple haired person, also young shigaraki.

so there was a summery tldr shigaraki and some nominations escaped

is the whole they said no students were there thing important? it feels important

spare a thought for the endeavour doll just sitting there. most colourful thing in the shot

this scene, of them trying to save everyone is Something.

midnight died

"don't be a wimp. we got 5 weenies on out side" shoto should make his hero name 5 weenies. it'll be funny. but seriously, that kid though

so afo is possessing shigaraki and is getting the nomu to free his body. nice

[orchidbreezefc]

reposting my old twitter thread regarding venom (2018), which a friend once said should be printed on the back of the dvd case. screenshots aren't working but they'd be redundant with the image ID anyway. if you want the 🌟Full Experience🌟 the original thread is [here].

[1/10] ok i just watched the venom movie for the first time and yall? let me level with you. real talk. full frontal honest hot take.

shit was amazing.

[2/10] like you know that whole shit with video games where people just get so into it and the completionism and the competitive scene and the graphics and whatever and youre like yeah ok but is it like. fun

thats me with venom vs mcu

[3/10] like goddamn. i had fun. i loved it. i saw it and it was an enjoyable experience for me and i liked watching it.

with mcu im all no i get that this is an installment of a series that has a greater overarching plot and shit but like.... am i gonna enjoy it? at all?

[4/10] me looking at mcu movies like am i gonna feel an echo of an iota of entertainment anywhere in my being at any point during this movie or nah?? and most of the time its a solid nah!!! but tom hardy just showed me a good goddamn time!!!!!

[5/10] like man. you talk about disaster characters? i thought i had seen disaster characters. eddie turbofucks his life into the ground with great prejudice. he makes dysfunction an art form. he hits rock bottom and pulls out a jackhammer and thats BEFORE the alien

[6/10] like i spent the front half of the movie going dude. who even allowed this dude to be a protag of anything. who said yep lets make this guy the main character, that seems acceptable

and then around the climax i realized that they HAD to for the plot to work

[7/10] like just imagine how shit wouldve gone were eddie not an eighteen wheeler fucktruck tire fire. if the man were capable of catching a whiff of a phantom of the dessicated corpse of his own common sense none of this would have worked

[8/10] like any human being who is even .0005% more functional than eddie (i.e. anyone on the planet) would not have responded like 'hey actually? i LIKE having this cannibal monster alien controlling my body. i think this is GOOD. im gonna KEEP IT.' like eddie what in the whole fuck.

[9/10] this guy is not even there!!! the whole time!!! nothing behind this dude's eyes. he started dissociating shortly before meeting the scientist lady and he just never fuckin stopped. the lights are all off upstairs. this dude is checked out and he is NEVER coming back.

[10/10] final point the dialogue was just fucking phenomenal start to finish. just absolutely batshit nuts what was coming out of everybody's mouths. and the delivery was stellar, like the wack shit they were saying was completely normal and fine. i'd like to shake that writer's hand

BONUS:

[ID: a graphic that reads, in all caps: "disclaimer: black panther and thor 3: ragnarok are exempt from this statement" and in lowercase: "(captain america 2: the winter soldier you're on thin fucking ice)". end ID]

[ultra-raging-ghost]

op the best thing your parents can do is get the divorce bless, im sorry about the fighting :( i get you it's the WORST but at least you got to play a cool game🔥🔥 now cmon spill some batjokes go go go

this is the FUNNIEST ask to get without context and i feel like im finally living up to the expectations of an ao3 author, also ty anon i was just super fucking stressed, i got an hour of sleep sunday night/monday morning and then when i was at my friends place i crashed really hard and slept for 14 hours straight and it really helped but anyway okay BATJOKES

okay so i played both seasons i dont have a pc myself but my friend does and they have both seasons and brooooo..... i played the vigilante joker route and i loved it

i sacrificed the FUCK out of catwoman im ngl.... my friend was so surprised but dude i was SO DOWN BAD FOR JOHN!!!!!! IDGAF !!! i was so down bad for john the whole time dude and at the end it was like "oh you were manipulating him into thinking you liked him to get info" NO!!!! I WANTED TO FUCK HIM!!!!!!!

when harley debuted i chose the option of asking john if he was in love with me AND HIS ASS SAID NO BUT ISTG HE WAS IN DENIAL!!! PURELY BECAUSE HE BELIEVED HARLEY TO BE HIS SOULMATE, SHE HIT HIM SHE DOESNT DESERVE HIM LIKE I DO !!!!!

like at some point with catwoman i chose something like against her for john and i was in the MINORITY like it was a 95%/5% Ratio and i was in the 5% and i do NOT regret that shit ‼

otherwise aside from my mental illness about batjokes i had a lot of unpopular opinions according to the peanut gallery (my irl who was watching me play it) like im ngl i gave up batman to keep alfred like HES OUR DAD???? THATS OUR DAD RIGHT THERE AND HIS POINTS WERE VALID, IMMA LISTEN TO HIM HES SMART IDK.....

Otherwise dude... i felt SO bad for harvey (2face)!!!!!! aside from his main storyline (i was very merciful and understanding with him, actually i saved him over catwoman in that one scene so his face didnt get fucked up just his arm in the fire) i read his file on the gotham news reports and dude..... like everything surrounding him is just SO SAD

Also i cannot say this enough tbh i side with mr. freeze every time.... i may be a sucker for romance but that man was trying his hardest to save his wife and from what ive seen he does that in every iteration of batman, like he becomes a villain and gets into illegal shit because his wifes sick and idk man..... like even if he is a villain i really empathize with him??? in the playthrough i offered to keep his wife safe and alive and i took mercy on him when he got infected with the virus and i froze him, like i have confidence in him idk.... i know he probably died bc it turned out the reason the riddler survived was because of the cure that also made him go insane but like my fingers are CROSSED!!!!!

also will say the only thing id change was i was kinda iffy about taking that selfie with john at the funeral, like i didnt do it but idk..... afterwards i thought abt taking that back like dude i NEVER WRONGED that man!!!!!! he was my POOKIE!!!!!! and i lowkey feel like him going crazy in the vigilante route was pushed for by the writers bc it felt a lil.... idk..... like forced but i get it its part of the story line......./silly

my friend played the villain!joker route and from what ive heard its EVEN GAYER and they let me watch them play the last 15 minutes of the villain route so i could see how differently they handled selina and that doll scene was kinda.... idkkkk 👀 like heyyyyy/f

i also heard theres a line from harley in the villain joker route about how he could never get over me and how john always liked me better than her which was SO satisfying because i made batman so jealous over her and john hanging out like im ngl i was so up harleys ass in s2

OH OH other thing id change, i wouldnt sip from harleys slushie, i didnt understand why she was offering it to me but now that i know i wouldnt take it ngl, making john jealous was not worth that slushie !!!!!

uhhh thats all, ty anon :D

[uroboros-if]

In short the demo was-

"AAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Which sumarized my heartfelt emotions about it😅

I was SOOO ENAMORED by the style, the artwork, the mechanics! Of everything that I was completely caught off guard. It was BEAUTIFUL!

WHICH I soo hate because I was soo caught up in the details. I completely fumbled when I realized I have not considered which of my Four MC ideas I was going for- I was literally PETRIFIED XD. I spent 5 minutes alone contemplating on the eye color! I WAS INTENDING TO SKIM THROUGH CHARACTER CREATION- before I was hit in the face with descriptors for them!!!

To the point that when it came to the names! I just fired a Game of Thrones name generator because I completely forgot my original names to use for my playthroughs!!! Thats how distracted I was!!!!

This was the most creative IFs Ive played!!!!

Thank you soo much aaa! (`°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀) In all honesty, because of your enthusiastic support all this time, you were one of the people I worried I'd disappoint the most! I am so happy that you loved it!! <33

It is an amazing honor that you want to create multiple MCs for the IF, and that you liked the character customization! ٩(｡•́‿•̀｡)۶ I wanted to incorporate it more organically, since doing it right from the get-go was always so jarring to me.

dA GoT name generator probably has the right mix of "fantasy names that are vaguely familiar and yet sound fancy", which is partially what I was going for, for some of the characters! (●´ω｀●)ゞ

Again, thank you so much for having been so supportive throughout the development!! <3 If you don't mind, I'll answer the replies you've made to my post under the read more! ヾ(｡･ω･)ｼ I am, however, reserving a couple of them to respond to for a more extensive post!

(*≧▽≦) those names are so camp! We'll have to work on them, but I think they're endearing and funny in their own ways <3

Still have a headache from giving them all a smell test (´°ω°`) please, let me know what smell you'd associate your MC(s) with, if you'd like!

[the-mozzarella-brothers]

@expressionless-fr

okay so part 1 ig:

as far as i know it is true that iran says they are trying to minimise civilian casualties, but i don't know if this is true. so far, no one in israel has died (last time i checked at least), but this is because of the great defence system (iron dome) that they've got. there has been someone who's been hurt very badly (the 10 year old bedouin kid, very unfortunate). i doubt the kid was purposely targeted, but they are still hurt very badly, thanks to the attack. i do find it ironic that despite iran saying they are targeting military bases, the one (1!!) person who has been harmed in israel is very much not part of the army. admittedly, the same could be said to israel about gaza, though they have at least succeeded in getting rid of some confirmed hamas members, so it's not 100% yk?

part 2:

israel's only reason for hitting schools and hospitals is that unfortunately, the hamas has decided that that is the best spot to hide their bases. id assume this is because if anyone were to fire bombs there, they'd get a bad reputation, so it should be less likely and safer for hamas. which is smart logic, but results in way more deaths, especially of children, than necessary. (imo no deaths are 'necessary' and all those who are part of hamas or anything else that means they want the deaths of others should just get a life sentence in jail instead. (btw, this includes bibi, i hate him, he sucks, i've gone to protests to get rid of him, a lot of other people have too)).

i would like to quickly say that nobody is "harming millions because of hamas". the population of gaza is about 2 mil (based on wikipedia, though google says that it's under a million (in 2017, the population has grown since then (which totally happens in a genocide doesn't it))). evidently, a million have not died. afaik, the death toll is under 34k (source linked). according to al jazeera (which is known for pro hamas propaganda!), under 100k have been injured. assuming this count is seperate to the 34k which have died, that means only a bit more than 100k have been injured or killed. of course, people can be harmed in other ways too, but these are probably the main ways you are thinking of, and evidently, this is not "millions". i should clarify, these numbers are far from ideal, and ideally a lot less would be harmed in any way, but my point is that these numbers are not in the millions, at all.

part 3:

"tbh id much rather sit with a racist person who says we should kill all iranians/arabs than a person who does it actually" if someone is doing it, they'd probably say it too, so this statement is a bit useless. id personally rather not sit with either, but thats your call.

part 4:

"iranians say that because they are misinformed, not hateful". unfortunately you can be hateful even if your reason is misinformed. their reason, however informed it is, is still hateful.

"iran does not support killing civilians ... it is not propaganda, it is israel" from what i've seen (based on one person) this is true. but this goes against one of your other points, saying that iran is more antisemitic than palestine??? very interesting...

also, whcih antisemitic information is israel spreading?? please show me.

part 5:

"israel has the highest cancer rate" false. my 4th source linked proves that it is not even in the top 10. there is no reason for israel to be in the top 10, or "not made for the harsh environment of palestine", as about 20% of the population consists of arab israelis, and about 45% of the jewish population is mizrachi (hebrew for eastern, meaning they are from the middle east). based on this, over 50% of the population is from the area, meaning they are most likely made for the "harsh environment of palestine".

part 6:

"while it was originally jews country, it's not anymore. if anything, if we have the rights to colonise a country cause we lived there, half the world should be for iran." i understand your point, which is why i am saying that i do believe palestinians deserve their own (official!) country, but jews do too.

also, not half of the world would be iran's based on this logic. 28.4% of the worlds land is in the americas, 5% is australia, antarctica is about 9%, 6.8% is europe, and so far this is a total of 49.2%. based on this, unless iran had control over all of asia AND africa, they would not have half of the world.

i hope this all made sense! sources are down there 👇👇👇

sources:

https://www.tehrantimes.com/news/496977/Gaza-death-toll-reaches-33-634

[pesterloglog]

Eridan Ampora, Jade Harley

Act 5, page 3175-3176

-- caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] --

CA: noww that youre done makin all that pointless rubbish

CA: ivve got somethin wway more wworth your wwhile

GG: which one were you again?

GG: wait

GG: werent you the guy who was always trying to hit on me??

CA: that couldvve been anyone

CA: lets not get distracted by your sad league of suitors and their flushed desperations

CA: im offerin you the edge here

CA: in your rivvalry wwith the other female

GG: uh...

CA: wwevve got the same abstratus

CA: and i dont need this thing anymore

CA: since i became more powwerful than you could evver imagine as a mighty wwizard of wwhite science

CA: so you might as wwell take it and settle your score wwith that awwful wwitch

GG: but

GG: im the wwitch!

GG: i mean witch

CA: yeah ok the seer then if you wwant to be dealin wwith technicalities

GG: rose?

GG: i do not have a score to settle with rose!!!

GG: why would you think that?

CA: oh

CA: wwell fuck

CA: suppose i wwas guessin it wwas natural to presume somesuch relation like that betwween the twwo a you

GG: i think you are projecting your own attitude on to others

GG: just because you tend to hate and/or hit on everyone you meet doesnt mean everyone else is that way

GG: rose just sent me a code for a crystal ball, shes my friend and is basically the best!

CA: oh i see so she shared her "magic secrets" wwith you then

CA: its probably a trap i wwouldnt trust her

CA: she is a cunnin and treacherous sort trust me i knoww her type

GG: wait do you have a thing for her too???

GG: did she reject you or something?

CA: you are slingin around such a bloody mess of slander wwith these accusations

CA: you wwouldnt understand anywway

CA: its already been painfully established you people cant get your shalloww think pans under the majesty of our quadrants

GG: :|

CA: if you must knoww things betwween us wwere gettin pretty bellicose and im pretty sure she wwas wwaxin as obsidian for me as a human got it in em to do

CA: and if not for the interdimensional divvide keepin us apart honestly i dont doubt our rivvalry could be brewwin outright pitch

GG: uh huh...

CA: but the thing is i need a rivval wwho can pose me a challenge

CA: and frankly shes not evven fit for holdin my cape anymore

CA: at this point i find all her adorable black pixie dabblins to be prime kiddie playtime shit

CA: all of her FRAUDULENT MAGICS cannot come close to posin threat to my mastery ovver the TRUEST SCIENCES

CA: an wwith my empiricists wwand i servve as the righteous hope that wwill incinerate delusion and the deluded alike

CA: my holy fire is the wwhite fury bled from the wwrath-wweary eyes of fifty thousand nonfictional angels

CA: and wwhen theyre finished wweepin they wwill boww before their prince

GG: wow what are you talking about

CA: so really you should be honored to inherit my old callin

CA: both my armaments and my feud

CA: itll be wwitch against wwitch

CA: a real one vvs an impostor

CA: faker one dies

GG: hey look at that, time for me to get going!

CA: oh wwill you just take the fuckin gun already

GG: no i dont want it!!!!!

CA: its a wway more powwerful wweapon than any of that crap you made

CA: its a legendary relic wwithout equal

GG: more like a legendary piece of shit!

CA: youre bein needlessly fuckin stubborn about this im doin you a fuckin favvor here

GG: yes but i dont like you very much and i feel really icky about accepting a present from you

CA: if you accept it this is the last ill evver be botherin you about anythin ok

GG: siiigh

GG: fine

CA: FFFFFFWW

GG: what?

CA: thats the code

GG: oh...

GG: hmmm...

GG: i have seen this before

CA: howws that possible

CA: its a one of a kind wweapon plundered from an alternian ghost ship

GG: i am very sure its the same rifle included with johns present

GG: but...

GG: bigger of course

CA: probably a cheap imitation of the original

CA: uh

CA: kind of like that one there is

CA: so theres your answwer stable loops ahoy

CA: noww enjoy the utter fuckin domination it affords

GG: yes but....

GG: i did not provide the weapons!

GG: my penpal did

CA: wwhos that

GG: the guy who helps me build the present

GG: we worked on it together but he supplied the bunnys weapons

GG: im pretty sure hes from the future!

CA: wwhy

GG: because he said hes my grandson

CA: wwhat the fuck is a grandson

CA: is that some kind of pervverse human familial thing

GG: umm yes

CA: nevvermind then your procreational biologistics make my fins curl in distaste

GG: oh no!!!!!

GG: aaaaa please dont tell anyone i told you about him!

GG: augh how could i let that slip to you of all people

CA: settle dowwn jade youre radically underestimatin the amount of shit i dont givve about this

CA: ill havve you knoww this is the last time im plannin on talkin to any human

CA: i got bigger ships to sink and soon wwhen im good and ready me and my luminous fuckin science stick havve got a date wwith jack noir

CA: AND NO NOT THAT KIND OF DATE GIVVE ME A LITTLE FUCKIN CREDIT

GG: wow ok!!!!

GG: i wasnt going to say anything

CA: wwhys this matter so hush hush anywway

GG: he didnt want me to tell my friends who he really was

GG: i guess maybe he was concerned about upsetting the timeline? i dunno

CA: wwell maybe he didnt wwanna disrupt wwhatevver disgustin sequence of evvents wwas responsible for his spawwnin in the first place

GG: maybe!

GG: i have wondered about that, assuming he is right...

GG: he was so nice, and it really did feel like i was talking to family, so i really dont think he was making it up

GG: i couldnt help but try to imagine his parents...

GG: and more interestingly.......

GG: his grandfather :O

GG: i still wonder who it could be...

GG: although i guess at this point

GG: the options are pretty limited :o

CA: ok i think im startin to feel ill talkin about things makin me fathom pink wwigglers comin out a your owwn personal torso

CA: so change a fuckin subject

CA: that gun i just gavve you is somethin of a hatchright to the kid

CA: happy i could play a role in your dirty stinkin lineage

GG: like an heirloom? i guess it could be

GG: do you even have those? if you dont have parents how could you?

CA: no wwe dont knoww our direct forebears and im pretty sure any attempt to seek out or evven inquire about the supplier of your genes wwould be a fine wway to get yourself killed

CA: but wwevve got our lore and it says wwe all got indivvidual ancestors wwho contribute to most of our genes abovve and beyond wwhat the grubs slurry does

GG: ewwwwwwww

CA: oh shut up

CA: anywway a lot of us believve wwere meant to trace the footsteps of those ancestors evven though wwe can nevver knoww em

CA: and on that journey wwe can come across belongings they once had cause wwe wwere hatched to find em and finish their wwork

CA: i kinda think thats wwhy i found the gun in the first place

CA: but noww im forsakin it because fuck i just found a better destiny than my old crappy one wwhich i nevver got any appreciation for anywway

GG: hmmmm

GG: then maybe that is how this heirloom should work

CA: wwhat do you mean

GG: well i dont want to use it!

CA: aww man come on

GG: so ill just dump it outside the house with the trash

GG: and if it is fated to find my penpal one day then so be it!

CA: god damn it

CA: its like you people go out of your wway to think a howw to disrespect me

GG: maybe you should have been nicer to me!

GG: in any case i dont appreciate the spirit in which the gift was given so this is what i will do!

CA: fine fuck it wwhat do i care

CA: this has been a completely flippin useless exchange as havve they all been wwith your species

CA: and for the record

CA: evven though i said that stuff about bein fated to find my gun

CA: fate isnt real

CA: its a lot of FAKE FUCKIN HORSEFEATHERS

CA: noww go and be cleansed by the light of truth purity nonfakeness hope and abovve all SCIENCE

gardenGnostic's johnnytop exploded.

[the-firebird69]

Watch "danger bike stunt || motorcycle shorts rider || motorcycle sound || short motorcycle video #shorts" on YouTube

And the guy said come on cuz her son says you should hear the light cycles and then he said but then again but those things are in the race and super bikes and they're way too fast we really are going too fast you look ridiculous you can't tell what it is it looks like a cartoon he looked said thats ridiculous that's way too fast. And Hera said it's way too fast and the guy was respectful of the bike after that and the other bikes he said are well handling and good for the street but boy that is very fast. A light cycle order is arriving in moments and Hera is watching it and others for security the max are going to receive it and just moments and they see it and they're moving out to the ocean to protect it it's about a hundred miles out and they've got ships out there billy z he has some stragglers. There's just a battle to clear them out and then some fast ones moving in and they're hitting them and it's getting bigger and they're breaking it out it's been going on all morning all over the place. Pretty soon Billy z will be out and the morlock will be following. Then it's Macs vs forgierners who are readying. What a day today will be this bridge is insane and have to have some connection points on that and he says and zigzag looked at it and said that's true it has to be a lot beefier than you made it look it has to hold it laterally so going like that cuz of wind and such so you do a calculations and it said I don't know if this will work and it's wide enough and you recalculated and said it's only 10 miles wide but it's 8 Miles high why do we have like 15 miles wide so we'll topple and then the foundation will be very significant so we design it and our son and daughter like it and we can move military stuff across and something back if need be at that size because the other side of it this way you have your own highway probably in the middle it's sort of like it and yes feel this big sale in the winds a little probably wouldn't move but the winds get up there and after a while it's not antidemic so go ahead and do that redesign and it's going to take some time but we didn't submit ours yet

Is a good example of the power difference between the bikes it's a good way to tell they don't sound different and their Asian bikes there's a couple Chinese bikes that are fast and they sound bad meaning awful the Japanese Bikes sound okay, does the Chinese place to keep up the sport bikes within a few miles an hour about 5:00 and can be souped up in the exhaust makes it sound better not that much better so people are ordering them cuz they can get away with it and they put on these massive pipes and it sounds cool. He has another idea so maybe ships can deliver containers that were holding off on that they can build a bridge way out there in the water they'll look at that later they said

Right now they're focusing on other things like getting their act together here but the bridge is giving them some hope and something to think about is to shoot for and they're going to fix the road and make a bunch of it a normal traffic road and the toll road and they're going to maintain it and do that today they said and then actually getting cruise together and tell me Allen is one of them and you don't ask Trump yet but eventually they might if he calms down on everyone. And the construction stuff is going to arrive and the light cycles just pulled in and it's a huge delivery it's like 300 million lite cycles no it's like 300,000. And the clones will be all over it and they're going to fight them. And those are flight cycles and they're not easy to get a little more luck trying than they can't so the firing are Star wars type hovercraft they look pretty fast like 3,000 miles an hour but these things go like 15,000 miles an hour it's a class A vehicle and tons of people will be studying it including iron Man who who actually makes the soup with it it's really still a turbo pack but it's much more compact and it's not really a whole suit requires it goes on any of his suits and he's like this guru after. And there are these games in Utah excuse me... And they're for strength and track and his son set it up and he's amazed he hasn't mentioned it a while but they need the football thing to have brought it up and just now in his mind and he's saying it's a great idea and since I did it's not sure what would happen and his son says I know something too you don't know what's going on with it all and she doesn't mention it it's in Utah and you don't talk much in Utah it's true too it's like a women's area they say this kind of changes it it's going well and they have a lot of challenges today from the football game and they want to wear EXO suits. And you're not sure how to respond but you can't even place without it and it's kind of a giant versus a machine thing, it's like John Henry. And for crying out loud we can call it that it probably should. And it's really starting to work out it would sell these suits and they're trying to use them they're not very powerful but they do enhance their strength and they work pretty good but they can't compete yet others are coming in with thier own and they're starting to place a little. We've had some monstrous guys come in and fail hey they're big like 20 ft was huge muscles and they can't beat us and some of them come close and it says this is incredible and they come back with more muscles and get closer but these guys with the EXO suits and place it so you saw the monster men say I'm going to get smaller and use an exo suit and exo suit and they go ahead and do it and they're coming up today for competitions and it's going to go global and everybody is going to see even versus machine and it's going to happen real soon and yeah Azog managed to get up there, nope. He will know he's been invited to join the football team and he's been invited to join the EXO suit John Henry competitions in Utah and he's signing on and she is too and his female versions of games we have a lot of stuff up there no not long jumping thank you Hulk try it. Where you going you said I'm going to beat you now that was me so it racing my Hulk of the long jump he's trying to catch up two guys go down it he's going we're going to overshoot it and we're launching right out of the facility. My husband says we probably have these zoomers in the kitchen all the time and yeah it's a hassle I hear about it. Okay I'm a zoomer but I know what they are it's not exactly right or curious but yeah we probably zooming it out faster than they can get in the way oh here comes one of them it's like a blob it's a barge and he says.

We used to have to do it in Utah and put out that stupid thing invented and that other dumb thing it's got this dumb inventions.. it says Jay Leno just figured out it sucks. He's actually smiling and yes in that case next door.

You're putting things together for today it's a big day says he has to get some rest so I'm going to try and do that and there's a lot of things happening.

It was selling vehicles but we have to make factories so it brought some in around the mega complexes answer Ford and Chevy and see you with this big banner as you start to laugh she's saying you're Bruce look at Dr varney's and you have this big banner at one of the facilities it's at the housing place and people are wearing the Chevy shirts and hats you can always memorabilia out there you're selling it no you give it out and I'm starting to my place and this is getting ugly. What is the ladies name. it all sudden I started to say something who the hell are you two people. And that was his mom sort of She-Hulk and said where are the other side this is all the big people well we're going to fight you on the football field there's some people some real entertainment and need a new sports bar with bigger screens LOL and she's laughing very loudly. The clones are falling, their areas below are being destroyed and on Australia they're fighting the molark both of their and they're fighting them in Trump's areas and it's a huge battle today they're both getting rid of each other it's gigantic

Hera

Have a different class mutant okay this is a very humbling experience I've been around for a long time down there and now I'm not going to be around baby so I got to tell you something these idiots start all this stuff but they figured out the max are doing their plan and they did a good job and he says it too the Trump held up to the money was doing the right thing it's going to be hard for a friend here are we going to be leaving and it's going to be left alone looking to orphan so I saw him like in that house kind of and somebody knows is running it and she said oh now you're going to be the orphan and he's laughing but really it's a pain and difficult he's been alone for a long time because a lot with some people but not many it's kind of tough everybody's fighting and so many damn bugs here it's a good idea to spray and it really a step up that spring there's a lot of bugs and they make people angry these bugs are so damned annoying they have a worse attitude than anybody last night was nice and cool in they hated it so I suppose if you get a job. Have to ease into it other people are too other clones

Tommy f

We're going to have a fight there in Mexico and it's over a ship that's the way it goes and everybody can see it now

Trump

[i-cant-sing]

Yandere RE8: TRP Part 4

Part 1 is here.

Part 2 is here.

Part 3 is here.

Part 5 is here.

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

"Uhh... hello?"

You looked at the woman standing in the stairs. She was wearing a dark veil that matched the rest of her outfit- oh shit, that's a funeral outfit.

I really did pick a bad time to come here, didn't I? She's in mourning, she sees an intruder, and her day went from bad to worst. Yep, she's gonna kill me.

You took one look at the woman and then at all the possible exits: the doors- no, they'd be too heavy to move and what if they're locked? The window- but I'd have to jump out and just because it looks cool in movies to jump through glass, doesn't mean it'll work, Y/n.

So, the only option was to eliminate the threat. Or maybe... defuse it.

"This is your doll, right?" You asked, pointing at the doll, judging by the lace designs on both of their dresses. The woman didn't reply. "It looks like its been... used a lot. To be honest, she's very different than most dolls I've seen, definitely a lot more spookier." You nervously giggled, hoping she didn't mind. "But... she looks like she's been loved. A lot. Despite being broken from a lot of places, someone still took their time to fix her." You smiled sadly, remembering your own doll that Mia had ripped. "Wish I had someone like that. To sew up the wounds and fix them."You mumbled, not really sure if you were talking about your doll or yourself.

"Your doll, she's- she's very pretty. My sister would've liked her." You began. "Which is why I'm here. My family, we were in an accident- I know it was wrong of me to come here without permission, but I need to find my sister, Rose and my father, Ethan." You took a step closer. "They both of have blonde hair. Rose, my sister, she's just 6 months old. She was dressed in a baby pink onesie, bundled up in a blanket. My father, Ethan, he's about this tall and has big blue eyes. I think he was wearing a jacket, with blue denim jeans. H-have you seen them?" You asked, eyes full of hope and voice laced with eagerness.

Please, please let her have seen them. God, please.

Unsurprisingly, the woman didn't reply, but she did turn her head towards the left window. You didn't know whether she was telling you to get out of her house or signalling that they are out there, but you knew you had to leave.

Nodding, you slowly walked towards the window, your heart beating faster as you prayed that this wasn't some sort of trap, hoping she wouldn't attack you from behind because that would be like... really shitty.

But you left the house unharmed, and without looking back at the window because you didn't want to jinx it, you walked towards the forrest once again, thankful that the sun had finally came out.

Where are you guys?

You had been walking for a couple of hours now, the sun had been a bit warmer today, which was good since you hated the snow that surrounded you now. You looked at the map, tracing the path to your new destination. The Salvatore reservoir. It seemed like it would take you a day's journey to get there, and you sure as hell weren't seeing any lake in sight.

God, when will this nightmare end?

You decided to sit on a stone and take some much needed rest. Your feet ached from all the walking, and your calves were cramping. You rolled your head, popping it from the side, before taking off the rifle that had been weighing down, stretching out your arms. Digging through the little back pack you bought from Duke, you pulled out a thermos of coffee and twinkie. You don't know how or where he got it, but Duke had filled your bag with a couple of snacks; saying its for his loyal customer.

So, here you sat, in the middle of the snowy woods, eating a twinkie and drinking a lukewarm coffee. Both didn't taste good, but they're gonna keep you alive so, no complaining.

After drinking the coffee, you rested your head against a tree, recalling last nights events as you waited for the caffeine to kick in.

You tried to make sense of what happened when you got... locked in the basement. You thought you had forgotten about her, Angel. Guess not.

Wait- didn't that lady lock me in the basement? Maybe, she didn't look very hostile, her creepy doll looked scarier than she did.

You laughed at the irony. You always made fun of the horror movies where the family would become so attached to the most horrifying doll, and you'd scream at their stupidity, And yet here you were, falling for the cliche as you found comfort in that creepy doll.

Man, I'm really losing it here.

You sighed, closing your eyes as you tried to come up with the next plan. But the warm coffee had lulled you right to sleep, which was dangerous but you were too tired to care.

Just for a couple of minutes...

You woke up to the sound of growling and heavy steps. And as soon as you opened your eyes, you knew you had definitely slept for far longer than a few minutes. But that was not of concern at the moment. No, it was the source of the growling that had woken you up.

Just about 40 feet away from you were lycans. Plural. Not one, not two, but 5 lycans, and one of them was a really big one.

You held your breath as you watched them wander around; they hadn't spotted you yet, and if you stayed quiet, you hoped they would just go away.

Stilling yourself as much as you could, you watched them with wide eyes. One of them started to walk in your direction, it wasn't looking at you, which meant that it hadn't seen you, but he would if he kept on walking this way.

God, I know we haven't been on good terms, but like c'mon, you gotta give me a break. Please, I love you? Come on, you know this is not how I want to go.

You sent a silent prayer, and perhaps it worked, since the lycan suddenly turned the other way, joining its pack as they started walking deeper into the woods.

Slowly, you began to gather up your things, silently shoving them in your bag, one eye on the lycans and the other one making sure that you don't accidentally drop something that'd cause noise.

Fortunately, you didn't. You swung the bag over your shoulder, and took a step forward, careful not to step on any twigs.

Maybe God did love me. All that time in church-

THWACK!

You jumped back as a huge sheet of snow fell from the trees in front of you. You whipped your head towards the monsters and they all had stopped dead in their tracks. Slowly, one of them turned and if they hadn't heard the snow fall, they'd definitely heard the way your heart was about to burst out of your chest. Then, it growled.

Motherfucker.

You pulled out your gun just as the two of them began running your way. With a quick jump to the side, you dodged them and shot them two times each. Hearing your gun fire, the other two began running your way too, while the larger one stayed behind as it watched. This time, as you shot one of them, the other managed to kick you in the chest hard, throwing you against the rock. Luckily, you didn't hit your head, as you rolled and shot it dead.

Spitting out the blood, you looked back at the last lycan who had already started running your way. You began loading up your gun with trembling hands, but just as you aimed, the lycan took a giant leap and knocked the gun out of your hand.

Fuck.

The giant grabbed you by your neck, lifting you up high before throwing you across the ground. You wheezed, scrambling up to your feet as you began running away from it, its heavy steps following you. It roared angrily behind you, and that only made you ignore the burning pain in your chest as you ran faster.

But of course, God had decided to make you live a cliche horror movie, because you tripped over a fucking branch, making you fall on your stomach. You flipped over instantly, and saw your nightmare come true as the lycan jumped on you.

On pure reflex, you punched it square in the face, which you doubted hurt it more than it hurt you, if anything, the monster was momentarily perplexed, but that was enough for you to slip from under it.

But you were only able to take a few steps away when it suddenly grabbed you by your neck and lifted you up again, snarling as it began opening its mouth, revealing its razor-sharp teeth at you.

God, if you're hearing this, I'm converting to atheism because I did not need this today.

Looking at the horrifying lycan, you prayed one last time before you were eaten by it. Surprisingly, your life did not flash before your eyes, which you were kinda grateful for because you did not need to relive that before your death.

But that moment didn't came. No, what came were familiar moans of pain, and then the sound of a drill, followed by blood splattering on your face as the lycan was sliced vertically from the head to the toe by the aforementioned drill.

The lycan fell to the ground, revealing the pair of soldats that killed them and behind them a smirking Heisenberg, who rested against a tree, tipping his hat at you.

You were far too shocked to say anything, and after a few seconds, the man walked over to you, blocking the view of his monstrous creations just mutilating the lycans.

"So... that was a bit traumatising." He started, chuckling at your stunned face. "You okay, kid?"

What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck-

"Yeah." You took his hand, and he helped you up. You groaned at the pain, touching the tender side around the chest where the lycan had hit you. Yeah, you probably broke a rib.

Heisenberg helped you sit down on a tree stump. "Hmm, that bastard kicked you hard didn't it." Wait- "But that was a phenomenal punch you threw at it. Nearly made me burst out laughing."

"You were watching? Why the fuck didn't you come in before!"

He shrugged. "I just wanted to see if you could really handle yourself- which you were pretty good at, but then you lost your gun and it was kinda an unfair match from there on." He pulled out some pills from his coat. "i was just passing by when I saw those lycans moving away. Thats when I pushed the tree which made snow sheet fall and you know the rest from there on."

Your eyes went wide. "You did that on purpose? What the shit, Heisenberg-?! Fuck." You doubled over in pain, clutching your ribs, heaving.

"Shh, stay still, kid. Here, take these. They'll help with the pain." You eyed the bottle before popping two in your mouth. Hey, if he wanted me dead, he wouldn't have saved me from the lycan. "I just wanted to see if you were worth the trouble, and as it turns out, you are."

"You didn't have to almost kill me to see that. And now I've lost my gun. And I don't have any money to buy a new one. I doubt Duke gives freebies." You huffed out.

Heisenberg rolled his eyes. "God, you sure do whine a lot. Here-" He dropped a tiny pouch in your lap. "There's some coins in there. That should be enough to buy you a new gun. And for fucks sake, get a gun with more rounds! You don't have time to be loading a gun mid battle." He huffed. "So, where are you going now?"

You rolled your head from side to side. "Well, I went to the Beneviento house. Didn't find Ethan or Rose there. Now, I'm going to the lake."

"The lake? Huh, well if you survived Donna, then Moreau should be a piece of cake. You got the map? Let me show you the short cut, it's not far from here." You gave him the map and he showed you the directions.

"Where are you going then?"

"Mother Miranda called. Don't worry, I'll keep our meeting a secret." He then nodded at you. "Alright, I'm off now."

"Wait!" Your voice stopped him. "I don't know when I'll see Duke again. And I don't have gun, so what if another pack of lycans come?"

Heisenberg slumped his shoulders as he let out an annoyed sigh. "Fine. I gotta do everything by myself." He dog whistled and one of the soldats stopped maiming the lycan and ran to Heisenberg. "From now on, you're gonna listen to her."The soldat looked at you and nodded. "If she tells you to kill, you kill. If she tells you to die, you die. Follow her around and keep her safe." The soldat nodded. Then Heisenberg turned to you. "He's already dead, so don't worry about throwing him in danger. Oh and also, just take him into the sun every once in a while so that his engine can recharge. You'll know when he needs the sun."

You were baffled. "Wait, Heisenberg- how the- what the hell am I supposed to do with him?"

"Figure it out, kid. Think of him as a guard dog."

You looked at the soldat then at Heisenberg's retreating form, then back at the soldat.

"So..." The soldat stared at you. "You got a name?"

"Handsome." You nodded to yourself as you trudged, using the soldat's arm to support yourself. "That's what I'm gonna call you. Handsome. What do you think?"

The soldat was wearing a metal contraption over its eyes, so you couldn't really tell what it was feeling.

"Well, you don't seem to have any complaints, so from now on, you'll respond to the name "Handsome". Do you understand?"

The soldat nodded.

You laughed. God, the pain meds were either making me stupid or everything else funnier.

You looked at the map again. Just a couple of more minutes and then a right turn. And then you should see the lake- god, this map was confusing as hell.

"So..." you wondered what you should ask the cyborg. Oh right. "You seen Ethan? Blonde man, crazy big eyes. Or a baby, Rose?" The man shook his head no.

Sigh. What else could I ask him? What about how did he die? No, what if that's triggering? I can't handle a Terminator right now. And I don't think I should ask him about his past or anything that'll cause him to have a existential crisis. Ah! I've got it!

"Hey, how do you see?"

The soldat looks down at you for a few seconds then points at his metal contraption.

Wait- is that sarcasm?

You scoff. "Of course, you see with your eyes! I meant, with the whole metal thingy covering them, how do you- oh, there's this vision specs in them."

You smiled. "Hey, you're kinda like Cyclops, yknow-" you were cut off as Handsome suddenly pushed you to the ground, turning on his drill.

"Wait, shit- you don't have to be Cyclops! We can talk this out-" but Handsome was focusing on something else, and that's when you saw it. Two lycans.

Handsome ran and easily maimed them to pieces, I mean, you had to look away from the horrific scene midway.

The soldat returned five minutes later, covered in blood. He extended his hand and you reluctantly took it, letting him support you as you began walking again, your heart still beating like crazy.

But you calmed down when you finally reached the lake, the setting sun gave serene feel to the entire reservoir. You inhaled deeply before looking at Handsome. "Lets go down there." You pointed at the lake.

You were both sitting at the wooden broadwalk, your legs hanging off the ledge. You looked at the water, it wasn't crystal clear, but you could see some fishes swimming around, so at least it wasn't dangerous to life. You looked at Handsome, then at his drill and you realised he was still covered in blood. "Lets get you cleaned up, hm?" You said, pulling out a rag from your bag and dipping it in the cold water below. You began with cleaning up his drill, then dipping the rag back in cold water and cleaning his chest and his other arm.

"Good job back there, Handsome."You smiled as Handsome nodded. "Heisenberg was right, you are kinda like a dog. Hmm, I wonder if..." You tested your theory as you petted him on the head. "Good job, Handsome!" But the soldat only tilted its head in confusion.

"Hmm, perhaps not." You cupped the cold water in your hands and washed your own face, You looked at your reflection in the water. "You wanna go for a swim? I don't mind." Handsome shook his head. "Yeah, I'm not a fan of swimming either."

Handsome stared at you. You scoffed. "Oh so you pretend you don't understand what I say, but you want to hear the story? Fine, but I'm only telling you because it might be important later."

You both stared at the water as you began your story. "Well, when I was 15, I had snuck out of the house to go to a party. It was at this rich girl's house and I knew she didn't like me, but I was surprised when she had invited me to her place. Yes, a red flag I should've seen from miles ago, but I was young and dumb and desperate to climb the highschool social hierarchy." You chuckled. "Anyways, long story short, one of the guys there pushed me into the pool because I don't know if they thought it was funny to see me drown? By some luck, I managed to grab onto the pool ledge and pull myself up. I immediately left the party, embarrassed and cold and on the verge of breaking down. Then on the way back home, there was this car following me and then some weirdo catcalled me and tried to get me in his car. Now, scared for my life because I watched a lot of Criminal Minds, I ran all the way home, praying that he leaves me alone. I think he stopped when he saw a Range Rover following him, but I don't know. I just rushed back home." You sighed. "You know what happened next? I bursted through the front door, slamming it shut and I turn around to see my dad in the living room, looking surprised to see me. He stood up and looked me up and down and then said, "Y/n? You're drenched completely. And you're messing up the floor. You know what? Mia's in the bathroom right now, why don't you go upstairs and I'll clean up here. You know how she gets when there's water on the wood." And I was just so shocked, that I didn't say anything and went back upstairs. Once I was in the shower, that's when I broke down crying. I almost drowned, almost got kidnapped and my father was worried about me messing up the wooden floor? Hell, he didn't even ask me why I was coming home at midnight." Your tears fell into the lake, making small ripples. You chuckled, "God, I always wondered how tired he must've been from work that day to ignore all these visible signs of distress. I always hated his job, you know? They made him work way too much." You looked at Handsome who was looking at the lake. "Anywho, now you know I can't swim so, save me if I fall into this lake, okay?" He nodded.

You guys sat in comfortable silence for a few more minutes before a question popped up in your mind. "Handsome?" He turned his head towards you, only to see a mischievous smile on your face. "Are you seeing someone?" The man turned his back to the lake, making you laugh. "Ahh, so you like someone. Tell me, is it someone from the village?" The man further turned his head away from you in embarrassment. "Oh come on, tell me! Is it a girl?" He nodded reluctantly, making you punch his arm. "You dog! Does she know?" Handsome shook his head, making you smile. "Tell you what? As a payback for saving me back there, I'll help you get her. I'll be your wingman, Handsome, hm?" He nodded a bit enthusiastically.

"We all deserve good things, Handsome. No matter how we look, or what we are, these things don't really define one's self worth. Its our intentions, you know?" Handsome didn't know, but he nodded anyways.

"Good. Now, lets go check out this place. Keep an eye out for Ethan and Rose, okay?" You told him, not knowing someone was already watching the two of you.

So... thought?

What did you guys think about Handsome? I'm gonna post a pic of him soon if you guys want.

Part 5 is here.

[strawberryspence]

A Dinner and A Future

Fluff | Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: Spencer just wants your first date to be perfect and surprisingly, it goes really well.

Word Count: 3,7k.

Warnings: some cursing, first date nerves, but that's it. just pure mindless fluff.

Writer’s Note: Hello! I've been going through a writing dry spell and the thing that solved it was writing this. I've been seeing a lot of edits on tiktok about Spencer's traumas and I just wanted to give him something simple and happy. I was also listening to Kodaline on repeat while reading this, so yeah it's going be hella sappy. Enjoy! <3

Gif is mine. Lesley Smith-Juniment, you have my heart.

Spencer is nervous.

Wait no, scratch that, nervous is not good enough. He was brimming to the edge with worry and queasiness. What other synonyms does nervous have? Spencer was antsy, anxious, perturbed, uneasy, at this point he can recite the whole thesaurus.

Spencer closes his eyes and takes a deep breathe. He can do this. He has waited for this for a long time and he won’t waste it because of burnt pasta.

Okay, he looks back at the note that David Rossi himself wrote in his own special handwriting.

1. Cook 1 pound pasta until Al Dente. Boy Genius, Al Dente should be firm when bitten. You cook it on a boiling water with salt and oil. SALT AND OIL.

2. While that’s cooking, do nothing. LITERALLY DO NOTHING. Watch it. Do the sauce later. In some miraculous way, if you don’t watch the pasta you’ll burn it.

A grin spreads across Spencer’s face as he puts down the paper and reaches for the fettuccine pasta and dropping it on the boiling water (which he measured with measuring cups he borrowed from JJ)

“Okay, now I wait for it to boil.” Spencer stares at the pasta as it cooks. Did he buy enough parmesan cheese? or enough pecorino cheese? Oh no. He looks over the other side of his counter where all the (complete) ingredients sit and he sighs in relief as if he hasn’t checked it 15 times since he started.

The pasta was still cooking and isn’t going to be firm anytime soon. Spencer ponders if he should just cook the sauce while waiting but he knows he’s going to mess it up if he doesn’t give it his undivided attention.

He looks at the watch on his wrist as it ticks to 5:21. He has one hour, thirty nine minutes and forty six seconds. He still has time before the date. The date with you.

It took him nine months, Derek and Emily annoying him to death to just ask the pretty librarian out, one extensive background research from Penelope, two separate talks of the “You deserve to be happy” advice from JJ and Hotch and one lecture about marriage from Rossi to finally ask you out.

He’s kinda annoyed really because he spent so much time thinking about you and thinking of the perfect way to ask you out but he shows up at the library you work at one day with a cup of coffee in hand and his heart on the other.

You didn’t even hesitate. There was no pause to process what he asked, there was no questions following the embarrassing stumbling of the words, “W-will you go have d-dinner with me? L-like a date... Date?” You immediately said yes with a small hop and the biggest smile on your face.

This date has to be perfect. He asked you to come to his apartment at 7. Spencer would’ve picked you up but he was making you a home made dinner and the date was taking place on the rooftop of you apartment, which Penelope and Derek helped him decorate with lights.

He tries the pasta and when its finally firm to the bite, he takes this as his queue to read the paper again. Of course, he can remember all of the instructions but Rossi still wrote it down and reading it calms his nerves.

3. If its cooked, drain your pasta water but leave a little pasta water on the side. Then you can continue.

4. In a pan on MEDIUM heat (just around 2-3 on the stove setting) cook one pound diced pancetta and 1 cup chopped onions in olive. Put this down and chop chop!

Spencer puts the paper down as he follows the instructions to drain the pasta. After he was done with it he puts the pan on the stove and starts chopping up the ingredients he needs.

Cooking is strangely calming. He never thought he’d find it calming. He always found himself burning stuff. So he sticks to the microwaveable meals and fast foods, even if he knows the statistics about these kinds of food.

After finishing the chopping he reaches over the paper and reads it again.

5. Are you done? Okay. Put the chopped stuff on the pan with olive oil and cook it until the pancetta is browned and onions are soft.

He immediately follows the instructions written. The onion and pancetta create a silent hiss as it hits the pan. As it cook he looks down again.

6. That’s going to take a while, so leave it but stay by its side. I am giving you permission to do two things at once. Dr. Reid, please be mindful of it.

Spencer rolls his eyes before proceeding to #7.

7. Combine the two cheeses. Then divide it in half. Then pour the half into 4 egg YOLKS. Just yolks! The yellow ones! Then beat it lightly until its really combined.

He has already separated the egg yolks from the whites (a job he didn’t think would be that hard but was surprisingly very hard) before he started cooking. He adds the combination of cheeses to the eggs and lightly beats it as he watches the pan of onions and pancetta sizzle.

When done with the egg and cheese combo, he gives the pan a stir before looking back down.

8. Is the egg done? Yes? Good. Is the pancetta and onion good? Yes? Good.

9. Okay, now you put your pasta in the pancetta pan.

10. REMOVE IT FROM THE HEAT! REMOVE IT!

Spencer follows the instructions to the T. He puts the pasta on the pancetta, gives it a stir and immediately removes it from the heat. He sighs in relief. He hasn’t burned anything yet.

11. You haven’t burned anything yet? I am proud of you.

12. Now, pour the egg mixture into the pan and toss the pasta until coated. TOSS IT GENTLY. If you’re scared use tongs.

13. Pour about 1/4 cup of the pasta water I told you to set aside earlier. You don’t have to pour all 1/4 cup, just until you get the creaminess you want.

Spencer reaches over the nearest tongs. He’s not going to toss anything tonight that involves pastas or pans. He’s taking the safe road because he wants everything to be perfect.

14. Add the rest of your cheese! Toss some more and then add salt and pepper as NEEDED!

15. You can serve it with parsley.

16. Now, go take a shower and change into some cleaner clothes.

17. Just be you and have fun, Spencer. Goodluck! :)

Spencer smiles as he puts the paper down and makes the finals touches to the pasta. He starts doing what was instructed and it surprisingly, ends up in the perfect texture. Just like the one he tasted when Rossi had a pasta night.

He was proud of himself as he takes it off the stove and makes sure that all the stoves are turned off. There was this report he read in 2018, that cooking and leaving the stove open was the leading cause of home fires.

He takes the food, puts it into a fancy tupperware (another thing he borrowed from JJ) and puts it in the microwave. He cleans up a little and stuffs the pans and pots to the dishwasher, because you are coming in his apartment even for a second.

He starts getting himself ready for the date with a shower. As the warm water glides through his body he thinks of how funny life could be.

Spencer first meets you in the library. He has not slept well in weeks so instead he opts to go to the library to get some reading done. But as soon as he sits in one of the (surprisingly) comfortable leather chairs, its as if sleep knocks him out. It wasn’t until the closing time that you wake him up and he thinks that you were an angel sent for him. This elicits a giggle from you.

“I am sorry, I am not an angel. I am just the librarian and we’ve been close for over an hour now. I just didn’t want to wake you up. You looked like you really needed that sleep.” Spencer immediately jumps to his feet as he apologizes profusely to the kind librarian, “Oh, it’s okay! Don’t say sorry. I was also reading so I didn’t mind the peace and quiet.”

That’s how Spencer meets you. He comes back a few days later after a case with coffee, croissant and an apology. You immediately become friends and thats how all of this started. Spencer finds himself falling in love with the kind, gorgeous, clever librarian faster than he expected.

Every week after that, Spencer comes to the library with pastries and coffees for his favourite librarian and every week, you welcome Spencer with a warm smile and a new book for him to read. He can read it in one sitting but he reads it in the slowest pace he could so it can last for a week.

Spencer comes out the shower and stares at his closet. Should he go casual or formal? Casual or formal? Its just dinner, he’s chill and casual is the way. He picks one of the few plaid shirts that he has and puts it on with a white shirt underneath. He tries to brush his hair, it sits for a moment before it starts curling again. He cringes but leaves it be.

Spencer proceeds to the kitchen to start packing the food into a wicker basket (that he also borrowed from JJ, he basically borrowed her whole kitchen). He packs the utensils in a table napkin that comes with the basket. The main course for the date was the carbonara, and the dessert was a tiramisu Penelope made.

He reaches over his sofa where the bouquet of paper flowers are. He made it a few nights ago with Penelope’s help. He stayed up to make more of it with old books he found in the BAU.

Because what kind of flowers is the best flowers for librarians? Origami flowers made with old book pages.

He shouldn’t be nervous. You’ve been friends for all the months that he didn’t have enough courage to ask you out. You’ve taken trips to old bookstores together for book hunting. This shouldn’t be different from your other trips.

The pitter patter of rain against his window takes him out of his thoughts.

“Shit! Is it raining!?” Spencer yelps, before opening the closed curtains. Beads of water runs down his windows and if its any other day he would love it. But not tonight, when he planned a rooftop date. He cringes as he thinks of the fairy lights hanged up and the table set up that is probably soaked now.

“Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Think, Spencer, think.” Spencer thinks fast. He finds the extra table cloth that JJ gave him because “Just in case.” He reminds himself to buy her a bottle of wine as a thank you. He places it in his small kitchen table before taking the utensils out of the basket and placing it on the table in a fancy way.

Candles. Does he have candles? Spencer scrambles around his kitchen, like a chicken without its head, looking for candles and he finds it underneath the kitchen sink. He lights some of it up and props it into some glasses (he doesn’t have a candle holder he realizes after lighting it up).

With the lights dimmed down leaving the light from the window and the light from the candles, his dark apartment gives off a romantic, kind of comfortable, vibes. It was kind of perfect because with the books on his shelves and the lighting, it actually has the same vibes a library gives off.

He was ready now, bouquet of paper flowers in hand. He can’t believe how smooth things are going, minus the damn rain. Only thing that’s missing is you.

A knock comes to the door and he instantly opens it. There you were, hair a bit wet and messed up from the rain.

His future was bundled up in a cozy cardigan and a pair of jeans right in front of his eyes and he didn’t even know it.

“Hi.” Spencer smiles.

“Hi.” You smile.

-

“A little to the right. No. No. Too much right, now give it a little bit to the left.” You sigh, your hand under your chin, “No, no, baby, its crooked.”

“Love, can we do this later? The pancetta is going to burn.” Spencer laughs as he climbs down the ladder with the frame.

“But you said you’ll help me with putting up the frames!” You pout at him, Spencer chuckles before kissing your nose, “I know but you also asked for my famous carbonara and I can’t do both at the same time.”

“Hmmm. I still don’t think you can call it yours when its originally Dave’s.” You follow him to the kitchen, zigzagging through the boxes of books you’ve both barely opened.

“What he doesn’t know, won’t kill him.” He winks at you before giving the pancetta and onions a stir.

“It already smells good, love.” You snake your arms through his waist and lean your head on his back. Spencer lets go of the spatula and spins around to face you.

“Thank you, sweetheart. Go unbox some of the books and I’ll call you when its cooked so we can fix the frames. Okay?” Spencer kisses the top of your head and lets you go.

You walk out of the kitchen to the hallway full of boxes full of books. You chuckle as you open the nearest box and its just full of chemistry books. You push it to the room where Luke, Derek and Spencer has built shelves for all of your books. An olive green couch sits in the corner beside the built in fireplace.

Hmmm. This is your home library but as a former librarian the dewey decimal is calling you. But then again, the books you and Spencer have doesn’t have classifications on them. You began unpacking the chemistry books and placing it on the shelf. You can hear the distinct hiss of the pan and Spencer humming Kodaline’s The One.

You push in another box from the hallway to the room and its another one of Spencer’s, this one full of philosophy books. You start unpacking it to the shelf below the chemistry books before stopping as you pull out a book that doesn't belong with the philosophy books. A smile graces your face as your hands glides unto it. It was the book Spencer bought for you on your first anniversary.

The Peter Pan cover is a bit tattered, it was an older edition he found in your favorite old bookstore. You open the book and Spencer’s messy writing greets you with nostalgia.

“We are most alive when we are in love. Thank you for making me feel alive everyday for the past year. Happy Anniversary, love. I live a full life as I love you fully.”

You smile at the book before hugging it to your chest. You sigh deeply as you looked around the room and how it felt so surreal to be in the new home you share with Spencer.

“Love, I am finish. Come meet me in the hallway!” You leave the book on the shelf as you hear Spencer calling you.

“Are you helping me with the frames?” You clap, excited to finally put up the frames. Spencer smiles as he sees you excited to put up the pictures.

“Yes, okay you need to tell me if they’re straight okay?” He instructs before climbing the ladder.

“To the right, just a bit. Oh! Perfect!” You scramble to reach for another frame as he comes down the ladder to move it, “Here! This one.” He climbs again and you instruct him with directions for the frame again.

After a few more frames, he finally comes down and looks at the frames you asked to be put up.

“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” Spencer smiles down at you and gives your cheek a kiss as he wraps his hands around your waist, “It is. Thank you for framing them.”

The frames comes in different shapes and forms, the biggest one in the middle is the picture of your wedding day. Your wedding took place in a library you immediately fell in love with when looking for places to get married at.

In the picture, you were smiling, your head rested on Spencer's shoulder as he reads a Harry Potter book he found in the kids section. It was a candid moment, both of you running to the back of the shelves to get a moment to yourselves after the wedding and the photographer snapped it before leaving the two of you in peace.

Beside it are pictures with the team on the wedding day, some on thanksgiving, christmas, new year with the BAU team, some with your family, some with Diana and in the corner is a shadow box containing the paper bouquet that Spencer gave you on your first date, the same exact flowers that was in your hands as you walk down the aisle to him.

“So, how's the first six months of officially being a Reid-Y/L/N?” Spencer teases as he lets you go from the back hug to face you and you roll your eyes at him, “Oh very hard. They hear Reid and they immediately expect greatness.”

Spencer laughs, “Same as the last name Y/L/N.” This time your the one who laughs at his statement, “Uhhh. I am not the one with 3 PhDs and 3 BAs.”

“And I am not the one whose a New York Times best selling author.” Spencer laughs even more when he sees your nose crinkles, making his heart dance and swell in glee.

“Hey, let’s dance.” He takes your arms and leaves it on his shoulders as he wraps his arms on your waist.

“We don’t have music, you silly goofy boy.” Spencer rolls his eyes at the endearment used, “I’ll sing.” He hushes you down.

“You make my heart feel like it's summer when the rain is pouring down.” Spencer’s singing voice was soft and sweet in the edges. Most nights you lull him to sleep with your humming to keep the monsters at bay and some days, his better days, he’s the one who sings and these were the days you treasure the most.

“You make my whole world feel so right when it's wrong, that's how I know you are the one... That’s how I know you are the one.” He sways you to the gentle buzz of his voice. You close your eyes as he sings the same song he sings to your ears on the dance floor for you first dance as a married couple.

“When we are together, you make me feel like my mind is free and my dreams are reachable hmmm.” Spencer hums as he runs his hands on your back. Your head on his chest and your ear listening to the way his heart is beating for you.

“You know I never ever believed in love, I believed one day that you would come along and free me.” Spencer feels at ease as he sways and sings, knowing that he’ll have you in his arms for the rest of his life.

The song ends but you and Spencer continue to sway to the music of silence.

“Can you believe its been 4 years since our first date?” Spencer asks, in disbelief of how fast time is running when he’s with you. You pull away from his chest so you can face him. You find a small spark in Spencer’s eyes as he thinks fondly of the night.

“Really? 4 years since our first date got rained on and Penelope cried because we broke all her fairy lights?” Spencer laughs before protesting, “Hey! I paid for that!”

"4 years later and I still can't get enough of that damn carbonara." Spence cackles, like an evil villain, "Don't tell Rossi that I stole his recipe for my beautiful partner."

"4 years later and I am still completely in love with you." Spencer smiles as he leans down to place a small kiss on your temple.

"4 years since I almost completely lost my mind because I was so nervous about our date." You roll your eyes, "Love, our first date was perfect. We've had this debate how many times now?"

"19 times." Spencer answers and you pinch his nose before looking around the room that’s still full of unopened boxes, “See. We should probably eat lunch and unpack. Why do we even have so many boxes of books?”

“Honey, you were a librarian and you are a writer. I am a professor and FBI agent that can read 20,000 words per minute.” Spencer answers as he looks around the unpacked house.

You smile fondly at him before standing on your tiptoes a bit to reach him and give him a kiss and he immediately steadies you with his hands. Kissing you was intoxicating and Spencer loves every bit of it. You only pull away when the kiss finally takes away your breathe.

“I love you, Spence.” You smile as you hold his face in your hands, “I love you more, sweetheart.” He smiles at you as you untangle yourself from him.

“Let’s eat your famous carbonara and unpack the rest of our house. It doesn’t really feel like home when all we can see is boxes.” You giggle before dragging him to the kitchen, making Spencer sit on the island as you prepare the pasta he cooked. Spencer watches you as you sing and dance through the kitchen in one of his old cardigans.

He doesn’t say anything but you were wrong. Home is not four walls with unpacked boxes and hundreds of books.

Home was when you showed up bundled in a cardigan, wet from the rain for your first date with him and home is still you, four years later, bundled up in his old cardigans and singing songs that magically fills and heals the crevices of his heart.

-

the recipe i copied for the famous carbonara!

taglist (if you want to be added, please message me 🥰): @all-tings-diego @shemarmooresfedora @averyhotchner @samuel-de-champagne-problems @bingereid

[the-empress-7]

I tried to read the daily mail recap as neutral as possible but the bullshit is just too much. Sure, soap commercial blah blah yawn. Lets say i also buy the "she didnt face any setbacks about being *ambitious* *cough* bullying* cough* until dating Hazmat" (only because she didnt pick a career where being an 'ambitious woman' would matter. Thats just how everyone in hollywood is. Try getting into neurosurgery and we will talk).

But just the fire thing is driving me crazy. How many times Catherine had to cancel something because of pregnancy and/or child related issues.(wasnt a lot of times but we have examples) Especially in those early months nobody bats an eye. And Harry was there, i dont think anybody would protest if she said Harry should go to the engagement i would like to stay with my baby. Youre not the Queen meeting world leaders that they had to pull you away from your baby tooth and nail. ALSO if you were so shaken why full glam and outfit change? Sit with your child until the last minute, idk maybe change the dress because it takes 1 minute to take it off and put another one on because you got sweaty maybe, i give you that, but did you really need hair&makeup?

And last point, lots of children go tru these things, parents dont drop their lives because of that. I apperantly flew down a flight of stairs and hit the wall in a stroller just a few months old, at age 4 my hair caught on fire (because i bent over a candle too much), multiple times ive been caught climbing to places i can fatally fall from. My mom still went to work because i was fine, even tho she was very scared. Maybe called home a few more times that day. Theres thousands of kids getting treated for cancer right now, some terminally ill, i bet you their parents have to go to work. Its just ugh, so many things so wrong about that small snippet, it annoys me so much.

Im also speculating that after the podcast and barely letting Serena speak, Serena was annoyed and didnt feel like playing to Vogue anymore. You have a legend like Serena to interview and youre still talking about yourself. I wonder what the listener numbers will be around episodes 4-5, when the curiosity listeners get bored and stop listening.

I hear you and yes she has no appreciation for the fact that being a parent is not a get out of jail free card when it comes your responsibilities at work.

[itsbeenahellofayear]

what we got, it don't come easy

Summary: Some things are easy, some things aren't. It can take time to learn what is important.

Warnings: Smut. Maybe not as much as you'd expect from a story thats pretty much only about sex. Some feelings. Language.

Author's Note: It took a while to get this one across the line. The first segment has been written for weeks, but I lacked inspiration, motivation, and was a little burnt out on anything Leaf related for a little bit there. RIP 2021 season....

Thanks to all of you who kept checking in and were enthusiastic about the little snippet I posted. Kind of kicked my writing into gear today!

I crave your feedback - this is weird and disjointed and very personal in a lot of ways, so I'd love to hear what you think!

---

Sex with Auston is easy - that's never been the issue between you.

This thing started with sex - you connected on tinder, got to talking for a couple of days, then went out for drinks.... That wound up with him in your bed, having arguably the best sex of your life.

That first night, lying hot and sweaty and completely satiated, you'd be lying if the thought didn't cross your mind that you could do this for the rest of your life.

It was that good.

-

You don't keep a list of things to try, but you kind of keep a list of things to try.

-

Some things that make the sex with Auston so good:

He's the first guy to encourage you to use your vibrator on your clit while he's fucking you - it's not every single time - sometimes coordination isn't possible when he's fucking into you so good but those times when he's pressing deep into you, hands on your breasts, grip firm just the way you like, and you've just got your vibe pressed to your clit on a low setting and you just shake apart.... Those are good times.

His dick is huge. Like he's big to start, but then he grows. It honestly took a bit of work to find angles that didn't have him ramming your cervix each time, but once you did... He fills you up so good.

He loves to eat you out. You've had your fair share of mediocre oral, but there's something about the way he just goes for it, lets you twist your fingers in his too long hair, makes these little noises into you, that just really does it for you. He'll open you up with his thumbs and just dive his tongue deep inside of you, then move up and basically caress your clit with his tongue. If you're honest you can't even fathom what he's actually doing, it just feels insane.

He lets you ride his face. Now, it's not an every time thing, mostly because if you're going to expend energy on riding him, really what you want is his cock buried inside your aching slit. But sometimes, he'll settle himself on the bed, and you'll just climb on top of him, grip the headboard, and just ride.

-

You might love him.

(Maybe that's why it's good)

-

So the sex has never been the problem.

The problem lies in the in between bits.

In the moments when you're feeling insecure about his fame, and his looks, and the company he keeps. You're not a party girl - you'll go out to the bar once in a while, but people, everywhere, is not really your scene. You know he likes to go out, especially after wins. You know he likes to drink. And sure, sometimes he'll text you, and he'll end up at your place late at night. But sometimes he won't. And so you wonder.

It's also the moments where he just shuts down, internalizes, and won't communicate. You're not one for talking about your feelings, but you do believe in communicating when it's about things that affect someone else! Case in point: you send him a message in the morning on what you know is his off day - he doesn't even read it let alone respond until 8pm. You had asked him if he wanted to meet up for afternoon drinks.

It's also the moments when he says stupid immature shit, when you realize that, no matter how great a family he comes from, he's still a rich, entitled man-child that doesn't really understand the value of a dollar. And that irks you.

A lot.

-

But.

You're just fooling around - keeping it casual.

But.

-

He takes you out to the cottage with some of his boys. The season ended in heartbreak, they're splitting up for the summer, they want to blow off some steam.

You spend the days lazing by the lake, lying in hammocks in the yard, sneaking off for a "picnic" in the woods. And by picnic you mean Auston laid you out on a blanket and ate you out until you couldn't take it.

You spend the nights getting high sitting out by the fire, leaving unsubtly to go back inside to fuck.

It's probably around day 3 when you realize you're legitimately, 100% in love with this guy.

Day 5 you head back to the city, and haven't really talked to him about how you feel.

He leaves for Arizona the next morning.

-

He's not your boyfriend.

He doesn't know you fell for him.

-

The first night you had sex with him – the first night of the rest of your life – you remember thinking you've never felt this full.

Now, months later, you feel like you're empty.

Anytime you think of him, it's like your pussy just clenches involuntarily around what it thinks should be there, inside of you.

You want him so badly, so deeply, and you don't even have a real claim to him because you couldn't open up and tell him that something had changed.

You catch yourself scrolling insta late at night, looking to see if he's posted something that might hint he's out with someone else.

You hate that you're like this.

-

(You never see anything, for the record)

-

He comes back to Toronto in August.

That honestly catches you by surprise.

More so because you're just home on a Saturday afternoon, watching TV when he knocks on your door. Pretty much the last person you were expecting to see, but you can't deny that your heart ends up in your throat at the sight of him, tanned, bulked up, and looking at you like THAT.

"What..." you start.

"Faith" he breathes out.

You don't understand.

He walks forward into your apartment, crowding you back against the other wall of your tiny entryway.

You're still so caught up in him being here. The way he said your name...

You look up at him.

He just presses himself against you and crushes you to him in a hug. You feel him everywhere. The faint spicy scent of his cologne, the heat of his body, the puff of his breath against your neck where his head is pressing.

Engulfed - your brain provides.

"I missed you" he mutters into your neck.

-

Your brain is going a mile a minute.

How is he here? Why didn't he tell you he was coming back? He doesn't need to be back for weeks. Why is he here? What is happening?

You push him back a little. Not off of you entirely, just enough to give you some space to breathe.

"Auston, what?" You try again.

He looks down at you.

Swallows.

"I..." He starts.

Swallows again.

"I needed to see you, Faith."

He looks... Nervous?

"Aus... What's going on?" You ask him, heart racing out of your chest.

He swears.

"I might be reading this thing wrong, this thing we have, but... I want you to be mine."

You feel like you've been hit with a brick.

All you can do is stare at him as your mind struggles to keep up. You feel yourself reaching for him.

"Aus. Yes. Of course."

He blinks. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

You reach for his hand and pull him to the bedroom.

-

Sex is easy, with you and Auston.

You've never been afraid to ask for what you want. He's never been shy to ask for what he wants. And usually that lines up.

But for the first time since all this started, you feel almost shy with him.

Without discussing it, you both get naked pretty damn quickly. There's a second or twenty where you're just looking at him, drinking in his broad shoulders, his stomach muscles, his trim hips and his thick thighs. God, do you want him.

You might say that last part out loud, from the way he laughs and just picks you up and tosses you on the bed.

You've been soaked since you opened your door, and you're impatient to feel him again. He looks at you and you just whimper his name and he smiles, hitches up your legs, and slides slowly, so slowly, inside you

“Fuck, Aus" you hear yourself.

"You feel so good, baby" he groans out, letting you get used to him stretching you out, leaning down to press a filthy open-mouthed kiss to your lips. He bites at your lips as he starts to move, driving into you in a rhythm that makes you feel so good, hitting you just right.

It’s not enough.

But before you can say anything, Auston pulls back, and changes the angle that your hips are lined up with his and suddenly he’s impossibly deeper, and you just can’t breathe with how good he feels and his hands are on your breasts, and he’s pinching your nipples just right, and you are moaning his name almost like a prayer, and it just slips out.

“Aus, I love you.”

You don’t even realize what you said until he stills for a moment, eyes snapping to yours, and he makes this noise.

“Do you mean it,” he asks.

Its not the time for it, but you’re never going to be his open another time so… “Yeah.”

“God, baby. Yes. I love you too. It’s why I came back. I just wasn’t sure…”

He moves back so he can kiss you, deep and filthy. You feel him, deep inside you, and you just… cling to him. He starts fucking into you in earnest - hard and fast, kissing you the whole time, though it ends up being more like just panting into each others mouths but you can’t get enough of him.

“I’m so close,” you manage to get out.

Auston gets a hand between you and presses his thumb to your clit and you just hear yourself keening.

“I love how you feel around me,” he groans out. “Come for me.”

It doesn’t take long.

You shake apart underneath him, and you feel him pulse inside you and it’s just so much and you can feel tears leaking out from the corner of your eyes, and you just feel so much in that moment.

It’s so much.

-

So sex has never been an issue.

But now it is so much more.