#oh but god forbid we call him straight

[bagelbucket]

bold take we aren’t ready for is that people think they’re trans just because they don’t align with society’s “ideal” gender roles when in fact it’s just their personality. or because of internalized biphobia.

[heich0e]

tomura tries to sneak out of your apartment one morning before you wake up, because he has to get all the way back to his apartment before his dad shows up to take him to a 9AM yoga class.

god forbid he be forced to explain:

a) why he slept over at an apartment that was not his own to his father (toshinori would be calling wedding venues and asking his assistant to look into your ring size before they'd even made it to the yoga studio)

nor b) the fact that he was going to a fucking yoga class at 9 o'clock in god damn the morning with his dad, to you.

he slips out of your bed soundlessly, moving as carefully as possible not to wake you. it pains him to do it. really, it does. your sheets are warm, and soft, and smell like you. and you're still there resting so peacefully, tucked under them, breathing soundly with your face burrowed into the collar of his hoodie that you'd worn to bed the night before. you look so pretty like this, tomura had spent at least half an hour just staring at you while he was laying next to you in your treacherously comfortable bed, and would have happily spent another hour more doing it.

there are very few forces on earth that could tear tomura out of bed like this, but the mortifying prospect of having to explain to his over-enthusiastic father that he has a girlfriend is certainly one of them.

he creeps out of your room and into the bathroom, splashing some cool water on his face and using the lotion that you keep next to the sink that makes his skin feel so nice. you started buying a bigger bottle lately, now that the two of you are both using it, and you never mentioned it but tomura still noticed when the little tube was replaced by a larger version of the same product. next he reaches for the toothbrush that he's started keeping next to yours, double checking the hour on his phone to make sure he wasn't running out of time.

he contemplates stealing one last peek at you in bed before he leaves, but he knows that if he doesn't leave now he won't have time to change his clothes before his dad shows up outside his place, so he heads straight to your front door once he's done in the washroom.

you're standing in his path before he can get to it.

you've got a blanket wrapped around your shoulders, but he can still see the soft skin of your thighs where the hem of his hoodie hangs peeking out from underneath the edges of it. there's a little frown tugging the corners of your mouth down.

tomura freezes in his tracks.

"going somewhere?" you ask him, your voice quiet and a little bit hoarse from sleep.

oh, fuck.

"morning," he mumbles, a bit nervously, as you pin him in your stare.

"it is," you reply, as though agreeing with him. "early, even. so why are you sneaking out of my apartment like a burglar?"

tomura rakes a hand through his sleep-mussed hair. "i, uh, gotta be somewhere."

"you have to be somewhere?" you repeat, a bit incredulously—like the words don't quite compute. you don't seem mad at all, just thoroughly bewildered by the whole strange situation. "tomu, we went three rounds last night and you're awake before two PM on a weekend. are you okay?"

"'course i'm okay," he rushes to get out, tripping over his words.

"did I like... do something? or is there someone el—"

"are you kidding?" tomura's voice cracks and he wishes the ground would open up and swallow him whole. he reaches out and grabs the edge of the blanket you have wrapped around you, his fingers twisting into it desperately. he knows you can't possibly—can't reasonably—think that he's seeing anybody else when the fact that he even landed someone like you is an honest to god miracle. the kind of underdog success story they make multi-part docuseries on.

tomura groans, shuffling forward and resting his forehead against your shoulder as he snakes his arms underneath the blanket around your frame to hold you close.

"you're being weird, tomu," you say quietly, brushing your fingers through his hair and letting your nails drag lightly against his scalp in that way that makes him want to shiver.

"fuck, I know, I know,"—he buries his face further into the crook of your neck, breathing in shakily—"'m not being sketchy or anything."

"you are," you remark lightly. "it's not that I don't trust you, I'm just confused."

tomura mumbles something, but the words are lost to the skin of your throat.

"what was that?" you ask.

tomura steels his nerve and takes one last long breath buried against your warmth. he pulls away and faces you.

"I have to go to a yoga class with my dad."

he loses his nerve about halfway through his admission, his eyes flickering away from yours to a point on the wall just above your front door, as a violent heat surges through his cheeks.

"a yoga class?"

he knows it sounds ridiculous. it is ridiculous. it may have been more believable to tell you he was going to hook up with someone el—

"why didn't you just say that?" your laughter cuts through his spiralling thoughts like a morning alarm.

his gaze snaps back to you, only to find you smiling softly.

"you... you're not...?" tomura isn't even sure what he's going to say. mad? surprised? convinced he's lying?

"i mean, i've noticed you've been looking kind of toned lately, but honestly i thought it's because we've been fucking so much," you scrunch your nose up a little. "yoga makes sense on both counts, though."

you turn and look across your apartment to the clock hanging on the wall.

"what time's your class?" you ask him, suddenly worried that this impromptu interrogation may have made him late. "i didn't mean to—"

tomura grabs either side of the blanket wrapped around your shoulders and tugs you forward, pressing his mouth to yours while your lips are still parted in speech.

(he doesn't make it to class that morning after all.)

[ev3rgreenxtrees]

,,Heartbeat''- C.S.

Warnings- smut, cussing, suggestive content.

SUB CHRIS SUB CHRIS SUB CHRISSS!!!!!

Back to masterlist

-

,,Text say that 'it's not fair'

thats code for 'he's not here'

and ima flirt with this new girl

and ima call if it dont work.''

-

Evelyn heard a ding from her phone, indicating that she had gotten a text from someone. She hadn't moved from her bed today, not really having a reason to. She lifted her phone, and let out a sigh as she saw 'Chris has texted you.' fuck.

Evelyn has been 'friends' with the triplets for years now. She's always been closest with Matt, oddly enough. Around two years into their friendship, Chris and Evelyn had began 'hooking up' in Chris' words. She couldn't stand him. She couldn't stand it. She was going insane.

No matter what she was doing, if Chris wanted to fuck, she had to drop whatever she was doing, however important, just to give him what he wanted. But god forbid if Evelyn ever wanted anything in return. If she texted him, she wouldn't get a reply for days.

She met a boy, Jake, and they started dating. Unlike Chris, Jake didn't just use her for sex. He really loved her. She loved him too. She cut contact with Chris, told him to stop texting her, and she wouldn't go to the triplets house, she'd meet them elsewhere. She didn't want to see him. She had been dating Jake for around four months now. Sure, sex was great with Jake.. but he wasn't Chris.

Jake has taken a trip with his friends to a different state for a week, and this was day two of him being gone. Evelyn clicked on the notification, and sighed at the message.

fuck. fuckfuckfuckfuck FUCK. What was she doing?? It's okay..right? Jake won't know. No- she can't hurt him like that. Once Chris gets there she can just tell him to fuck off.. right?

She must've been thinking about it for a few minutes because she was suddenly snapped back to reality when she heard a knock at her door. Holy shit. This is really happening.

Without even thinking, Evelyn starts walking down the stairs. Even though it was nearly 8:00 P.M. she had still been in her pj's from the morning before. Just some shorts and a baggy tee. She opened the door to reveal Chris standing outside, in just grey sweats and a black tank top that stuck to his body perfectly, looking at his phone.

Evelyn had forgotten how good Chris looked, so she just stared in awe. His eyes looked up from the phone, his head not moving, as he chuckled. His eyes looking up at her through his messy hair just did something to her every time.

,,Miss me?'' He teased, sliding his phone into his pocket. ,,Soo.. you gonna invite me in or re we just gonna do this outside..?'' He laughed, as she kept a straight face. He noticed, and stuck his hand out and placed it gently on her jaw. ,,Hey, Ev, Whats wrong, baby?'' He asked her, as she pulled away from his touch.

,,Don't call me that, Christopher.'' She frowned, causing Chris to furrow his eyebrows in confusion.

,,What..? What's wrong, Evvy?'' He asked as she cringed at the name. He's the only person who calls her that. She felt tears threatening to spill, as she held them back.

,,Chris.. we can't.'' She shook her head, looking down at the floor. She felt Chris' hand meet her jaw, pulling her face up to his, as he kissed her gently.

She knew she should've pulled away, but she couldn't. She kissed back, as she felt Chris smirk against her lips. He slowly pulled away,

,,You sure?'' He joked, and she shook her head and pulled him into her house by his collar, slamming the door behind them.

''God, I hate you so fucking much, Christopher..'' She scoffed.

,,Oh, but you love me..'' He smirked, before quickly grabbing Evelyn's hips, bringing her closer to him, before smashing his lips roughly against hers, the kiss this time was the complete opposite of the one they had just shared moments before. She pulled away, her hand sliding into his, as she pulled him up to her room.

,,Ya know, I could've just fucked ya down there,'' He joked,

,,Yeah, and smash my hips into the counter? I'll stick with my bed.'' She rolled her eyes, before getting on her knees.

,,Damn- sucking me off already? Thought you'd wait a bit you whore.'' Chris smirked down at her,

,,Watch your mouth, Christopher.'' She threatened, as she suddenly grabbed his half-hard cock through his pants.

,,o-oh fuck..'' He groaned, caught off guard by the girls sudden action.

,,let me hear you, baby..'' Evelyn smirked at the boy above her. Out of all the times they had fucked, she hadn't been the dominant one, but that was about to change.

,,c'mon, ma.. please..'' He whispered, his voice raspy as Evelyn began to palm him through his pants. ,,please..'' he whimpered. She slid her hands away from his cock, before kissing it through the fabric of his pants. She started to pull them and his boxers down, his now fully hard cock slapping against his clothed stomach.

He began to slip his shirt off, before she slapped his hands.

,,Did I say you could take this off?'' She growled at him, before he shook his head,

,,f-fuck.. 'm sorry ma.. p-please..'' he begged. She has never seen Chris this submissive, and it was driving her insane.

,,Go ahead, baby..'' Evelyn nodded, as she started to stroke his cock painfully slow. He ripped his shirt off and through it across the room, as he let out small whimpers. ,,sit.'' She motioned to the bed, and he quickly complied, shuffling to the bed, and sitting down.

Evelyn placed her hands on his knees, and licked from his base to his tip, collecting his precum on his cock. The small whimpers and moans falling effortlessly from Chris' mouth was what kept her going. She took his dick in her mouth, it hitting the back of her throat as she gagged, but she didn't stop.

Nothing would stop her from doing this besides Chris. Not even her boyfriend walking in would stop her. She's missed Chris so much. She felt his hand grip her hair, pushing her down and up, her mouth gliding around him.

,,mmhh.. fuckk..'' he cried out, his head falling back. She quickly pulled off of him with a popping sound, knowing he was close, ,,ma.. p-pleas-e..'' he hiccuped.

,,don't worry, baby. You'll cum soon.'' She promised. pushing him back against the bed, her mouth connecting once more with his.

He laid back, his hard dick throbbing. Evelyn- still fully clothed- sat on Chris' lap, just a little above where his dick was.

,,Ev- please..'' he pleaded, as he pulled away from the kiss, slipping his hands up her shirt, tugging at the hem.

,,Go ahead, baby.'' she nodded, giving him permission to slip it off, which he quickly did. Her black bra showcasing her breasts perfectly made Chris want her impossibly more.

,,Fuck, baby. I don't remember you looking like that..'' He groaned, his hands sliding back down her body to the waistband of her shorts. He tugged gently at them, before Evelyn lifted her hips, allowing Chris enough room to slip them off. Evelyn sat on the naked boy, in only her bra and underwear.

Chris let his hand slip to her panties, gently rubbing her slick folds through the wet fabric. She let out a small whine, causing Chris to chuckle.

,,You like that, don't you, ma?'' He teased, causing the girl on top of him to shake her head,

,,Know your place, Christopher.'' She grow;ed, causing him to immediately apologize,

,,s-sorry ma..'' he whined, his hands meeting her hips. ,,Jus wanna make y-you feel good..'' he pushed her hips down, causing her to grind on him.

,,Holy shit, baby..'' She gasped. She needed Chris so incredibly bad.

,,I-I wanna taste you, ma.. p-please..'' He begged, as Evelyn nodded. He sat up, his lips meeting her neck, sucking and biting, leaving deep red and purple marks behind. His lips trailed down her neck as his hands fumbled with the clasp of her bra.

As he slipped her bra off, his lips met her one of her nipples, his hand toying with the other. She let out a quiet moan, as her hands snaked up and down Chris' bare back. His mouth left her nipple, continuing to place kisses down her body.

He got to the waistband of her panties and sighed, before laying her back, his face between her thighs. She felt his hot breath on her core before feeling him place a soft kiss on her clit through the thin wet fabric of her panties.

,,So wet for me, ma..'' Chris mumbled, before pulling her panties off slowly.

,,Chris, don't tease me,'' Evelyn warned him, as he nodded.

,,Sorry mommy..'' he apologized, the name making her shiver. his mouth came into contact with her pussy, flattening his tongue, lapping it up and down between her wet folds.

''mmph, fuck, Chris.. making me feel so good..'' She whined, her hands quickly finding his hair, before gripping it tightly. His tongue met her clit, as he brought two of his fingers up to her mouth for her to suck.

She rolled her eyes but obliged, sticking his fingers into her mouth, coating them in her saliva. He pulled them out after they were soaked, and brought them down by where his mouth was. Evelyn forgot how hot he looked while he was eating her out, it was driving her insane. He slowly pushed one finger inside her, her letting out a quick moan, her head falling backwards.

,,H-holy shit..'' She moaned as Chris stuck another finger in her, continuing to pump inside her.

,,You taste so good, mommy..'' Chris mumbled, momentarily pulling his mouth away from her cunt. He quickly went back to work, and Evelyn was becoming a whining mess as he added a third finger.

,,Mhh, fuck- Chris.. I-I'm close-'' She struggled, as she felt her release inching closer. Her grip on his hair tightened, as her eyes squeezed shut, as she felt the knot in her lower stomach snap. Chris didn’t stop working his tongue, he continued to lick up all her cum.

His head lifted, and she quickly pulled him into a kiss, her legs shaking. She could taste herself on his tongue, but she didn’t care at all. She needed Chris so bad.

She pulled his body impossibly closer to her, his dick rubbing against her folds, causing both of them to let out a moan.

,,Fuck me already, Chris,'' Evelyn demanded. Who was Chris to deny her wishes? He pulled his dick in his hand, stroking it a few times, before lining it up with her hole.

He started to push in, and once the tip was in, he let his own dick go, to put both of his hands above Evelyn's shoulders to stabilize himself. They both let out groans as Chris continued to push himself deeper in her. He finally pushed all the way and waited a bit before starting to slowly thrust in and out of her.

,,Wait- shit Ev, your on the pill, right?'' Chris stopped and looked up at her, causing her to chuckle and nod,

,,yes, Chris.'' she rolled her eyes, and Chris started to thrust in and out of her again, this time at a much faster pace.

,,Mph- Fuck.. y-your so tight ma..'' Chris groaned, as Evelyn gripped his shoulders tightly.

,,d-don't stop, Chris..'' Evelyn pleaded, and Chris obliged. The male continued to thrust into her, both of them letting loud moans flow out of their mouths effortlessly.

,,M-mommy, I-I'm close..'' Chris panted, one of his hands making its way to Evelyn's hips, holding her in place. His grip was so tight, she was sure it would leave bruises, but that was the least of her worries right now.

,,Cum for me, baby.'' Evelyn moaned, and Chris did just that. He released his load into her, and she did the same.

,,H-holy shit..'' Chris groaned, as he pulled out of her and plopped down beside her on the bed. ,,You still regret it?'' Chris whispered.

,,Hm?'' Evelyn mumbled.

,,Do..'' Chris sighed. He propped himself up on his arm, looking into Evelyn's eyes. ,,Do you like me? Do you regret what we just did? Would you pick him over me?'' Chris asked, and Evelyn's eyebrows furrowed.

,,Of course i like you Chris. I wouldn't let you fuck me if I didn't like you. If I'm being honest.. i really like you. Like, a lot. I do this with you because I think it's the most I'm going to get from you. I know you won't date me, but i really fuckin like you, so I do whatever you want me to as long as it means I can have you.'' Evelyn sighed, closing her eyes, Expecting Chris to let out a snarky remark.

,,Who said I wouldn't date you?'' Chris asked her, causing her eyes to shoot open and look at him.

,,Chris, don't say shit like that when I have a boyfriend.'' Evelyn shook her head, and Chris chuckled.

,,Evs, we literally just fucked, and your worried about me confessing my love for you?'' Chris shook his head.

,,Yeah, I guess. I mean, I'm not worthy of him anymore, but if you confess your love foe me I'll feel so shitty.'' Evelyn confessed.

,,How come?'' Chris asked, tilting his head in confusion.

,,Because, Chris.. Your so fucking stupid. I've always wanted you. I started dating Jake, in hopes he'd give me everything you wouldn't. Like actually going out with me, cuddling, doing.. couple things, instead of just fucking all the time and leaving.'' Evelyn shook her head, and Chris' gaze softened.

,,Holy shit, Evvy.. Why didn't you tell me..? You know I wouldn't have wasted a second to get with you.'' Chris whispered, and Evelyn let out a frustrated groan.

,,Oh my fucking god, Chris. Don't pin this on me. You know good as hell I've always wanted you. You've just always been too 'scared of commitment'.'' Evelyn snapped, causing Chris to look at her sadly.

,,Evs. I'm so so so fucking sorry. I love you. You know that. And your right. I'm a pussy. I wanted you so bad I should've just asked you out before Jake got to. Damn me for that.'' Chris apologized, and stood up to put his clothes back on.

,,Chris, no.. I didn't mean it like that.. I'm sorry-''

,,No, your right. It's MY fault that I didn't ask you out. Forget the fact that you could've asked me out, no. Because in what fucking world would that happen, Evelyn? I'm sorry for loving you. I'm sorry that you love me, but I can't do shit about that now, since you got your new fucking boyfriend that you basically just admitted to not liking.'' Chris scoffed, as he finished putting his clothes on.

,,Will you go out with me?'' Evelyn asked as Chris was just about to walk out of her door. She wasn't sure why she asked it, she knew it was wrong, but fuck, she did love him. He froze.

,,What.?'' he asked, his heart beating out of his chest.

,,Chris, will you go out with me?'' She asked again, and he turned around.

,,What about Jake?'' He asked, and Evelyn stood up, and made her way towards Chris.

,,Fuck Jake.'' She said, her lips meeting Chris'.

[buddiebeginz]

Welcome to today's unhinged B*mmy thoughts:

Gotta say as a queer person I'm so done with that part of fandom calling me homophobic because I don't like a ship. Or because I don't think T*mmy treats Buck right. Or god forbid I don't think making a daddy kink joke in the same breath that Buck is talking about his father dying makes since.

Also B*mmy shippers this you???

Being so afraid of Eddie being queer and people relating to a fictional character you actually felt the need to make an entire video celebrating how much you want him to be straight. You do realize him having relationships with women doesn't automatically make him straight right? Because fyi up until very very recently all Buck has ever had has been relationships with women.

Oh and I don't know how it is that we're somehow fetishizing a ship many of us have been invested in for years. That we ship because we love the bond between Buck and Eddie and their family with Chris. Is there smutty fanart/fics sure but most of our fandom is centered around the love these two men share and us wanting to see that turn into something even deeper than it is. I also think it's insanely hypocritical to accuse Buddie shippers of fetishizing when a lot of you B*mmy stans used to be Buddie shippers. Only as soon as you got to see two guys you think are hot kiss Buddie didn't seem to matter anymore. You chose to care about a ship with very little substance because it has the physical stuff you wanted to see vs Buddie which has all the emotional depth your ship doesn't. But sure we're the ones fetishizing a m|m relationship. Okay.

I'm also just really tired of you all acting superior and like you're somehow the boss of the 911 fandom because your ship is canon. Is it fun to have a ship you love become canon? Yes. Would I love for Buddie to become canon? Hell yes. But canon ships have never been more important than non canon ships especially when it come to fandom. People have always headcanoned ships that weren't canon some that would never ever be canon no matter what. Especially when it comes to lgbtq couples. Yet now that Buck is dating T*mmy (which btw they've never confirmed they're even in an official rs) somehow it's not okay to ship him with Eddie. Or to have theories about them getting together. Or to dislike Buck with someone other than Eddie. Nevermind the fact that most of you B*mmy shippers disliked every other woman Buck and Eddie were ever even with. Somehow that was okay because they were women but it's not okay now that Buck is with a guy and it's a ship you like.

Also this you too???

But sure we're the homophobic and toxic ones in the 911 fandom.

[offbrandkyoya]

Hey love if u cud do a piece of yuu nishinoya x reader where it’s enemies to lovers where they constantly argue ( fr can’t find any nishinoya enemies to lovers fics)

I HATE YOUR GUTS!! - nishinoya yuu (hq)

you and nishinoya argue like it’s your last day on earth. God forbid you get any peace from that loud mouth and nishinoya feels the same about you. these arguments end up as something else however…

contents: enemies to lovers, gn!reader, angst, fluff, not accurate to the hq timeline, reader has a small crush on daichi, fake friends, academic achiever reader, nishinoya hating someone is crazy, ennoshita fan service (jk)

word count: 1k

a/n: I hope I did it justice!!! :3 Kinda nervy but I love noya #noya4eva

Nishinoya Yuu is loved by all, especially the ladies.

He’s friendly, outgoing, and considerate. It’s so easy to get on his good side. It can be the same on his good side as it can be on his bad side. Nishinoya considers himself the best friend you can ask for, but if you say or make the wrong move, you’re done.

Unfortunately, Nishinoya doesn’t just not like this person; he hates them.

It’s not even rivalry; it’s pure hatred.

"Look, it’s y/n!” He overhears what his peers say. Looking up to the end of the hall, sure enough, it’s you. Nishinoya grimaces and rolls his eyes. As you were nearing his view, you also had a look of disgust. His face just ticked you off, and you turned your face away, making a tsk sound.

Nishinoya grumbles and shouts, “The hell did you say?!” You stopped walking and faced him. “I literally said nothing! You’re imagining things!” “Oh yeah?! I know what I heard!” You groan, “UGH! You’re so annoying!” “So are you!” You furrowed your brows. “Me? Annoying? You’re the most obnoxious person I’ve ever met!”

Nishinoya takes a step forward and says, “You’re more obnoxious than anyone I know!” “You have like one friend.” “I DO NOT!” You roll your eyes while shaking your head. You begin to walk away, with Nishinoya continuing to shout at you.

“What the-! Get back here!” “Sorry! My friends are waiting for me!” Nishinoya growls, then stomps right into his classroom.

You wouldn’t consider yourself popular, but you kind of were. Mostly because of how smart you are. You’re humble about it, but you never fail to rub it in Nishinoya’s face.

And that pisses him off.

“We can hear you guys shouting from below.”

Daichi states this with a serious expression. Nishinoya pouts, “They had it coming!” “Seriously?” Daichi sighs, pinching his nose bridge. “Nishinoya, you can’t keep arguing with them every chance you get.” “But they deserve it.” Nishinoya says it matters factually. “Nishinoya.” “Ughhhhh.”

Daichi lets him go to walk back to class.

“I’m not a child.” Nishinoya mumbles. It's kind of embarrassing to have your volleyball captain, who’s also a grade above you, come down to personally lecture you. As he heads straight to his classroom, you walk out from the corner, causing him to frown deeply.

You notice him and return the gesture. “A bug.” You say out loud, and Nishinoya's eyebrow twitches. “Don’t you have anything better to do than pick on Karasuno's one and only guardian?” “No one calls you that.” “Yes, they do!” You cross your arms. “Let me guess.” You point at him with a condescending smirk. “Those sorry first years?”

Nishinoya raises a brow. “So?” “So?” You laughed. “They’re first years! They don’t know any better!” “Our captain agrees with me. ” You blush. “Sawamura?” His eyes widen a little. “No way…” He whispers. Seeing your flushed face, there’s only one answer to this, and that makes him laugh. “You like Daichi?!”

You stutter, “I-I do not!” You sigh, “Think of it as a celebrity crush!” "Uh, huh, right.” “I’m serious!” Nishinoya chuckles, “To think you’re actually able to feel any type of love.” Your face is still burning. “Screw you, seriously! I do not like him! Not like that anyway!” “You don’t like who?” You whip your head around, and it was your close friend.

You compose yourself, straighten your shirt, and part your hair. “N-nothing! I was just, uh-“ “Don’t care.” She interrupts. “Anyways, hurry up; we’ve been waiting for you for like ever.” “Sorry…” You lower your head. She pats your head, then finally notices Nishinoya. "Oh, were you arguing with that shorty again?” “HUH?!”

You chuckle. “Yeah. Short guy, short temper.” “I’m seriously going to kill you!” Nishinoya shouts. “Let’s go, y/n.” She walks off, and you nod. “Kay.” You glance at Nishinoya and grin before leaving. Nishinoya really hates you.

“Not only is y/n a dick, so is their friend!” He complains to Ennoshita, who’s trying to get his work done. “And this is new?” He thinks for a moment: “Not really.” Ennoshita sighs. “Then why’re you telling me this?” “Because you’re my therapist!” “I am not.”

Ennoshita looks back down at his paper. “I really don’t know what you expect.” Nishinoya crosses his arms. “I just want them to fail at least once. I hate seeing their name at the top.” Ennoshita looks at him and says, “Then put in effort.” “Nah, I don’t want to." Ennoshita sighs once more. Nishinoya leans forward, resting his head on his friend’s desk.

“I mean, someone else beat them!” He stares right at Ennoshita, and the other isn’t phased. “In your dreams.” “Damn it!”

Nishinoya was at a loss. He wanted to get back at you so badly, but his stupidity and low attention span wouldn’t let him.

He roams the hall after exiting the restroom and finds you on your phone. He grins mischievously and points at you, “Y/N! Why’re you on your phone?!” He shouts, and you quickly put it away, rushing to him and trying to slap him, but he dodged. “YOU-“ He laughs as he dodges your every attack.

Your cheeks were flushed, and you stopped trying to hit him. “Mind your damn business, you mouse!” "Mouse, I am, because not even a cat can catch me.” He looks at you since you’re the feline in this analogy. Your face turns even more red. “You’re so insufferable! Can’t you back off?! Go fawn over Kiyoko or something!”

Nishinoya shakes his head. “Bothering you is much more fun. All you do is walk away when you can’t handle the smoke.” You raise a brow at that. “Are you calling me a coward?” “What? Need me to say the word for you to get the picture?” Your blood boils. “I’m not a coward.” He shrugs. "Okay, then fight me.” Then he laughs, “Or are you going to run away like you always do?”

You grab his collar, but at the same time, he holds your fist to stop it. “Coward.” He mouths, and you were really going to punch the hair dye out of his hair.

“Y/n,” Your friend appears behind you, and you stutter, “I was just!" “You and Sawamura?!” She laughs and grabs your arm, forcing you to stand next to her. “You know how much I like him! How could you do that to me?!” “I don’t like him, I swear!” You glance at Nishinoya, who only shrugs at you. He didn’t say anything about you liking Daichi to anyone.

“You better not.” She states and lets you go, “Where are you going?” “Gym. Bye.” You just stand there in panic. You take a step forward but shiver and look back at Nishinoya. He didn’t have an angry expression, but more of a confused one. His eyes were digging into your soul as he wondered what you’re going to do now.

You take a breath, turn back, face forward, and walk away.

Nishinoya walks out of the school and starts to head to the gym. Volleyball always takes his mind off things, and imagining your face as the volleyball is really therapeutic!

As he stands at the gate, he hears crying.

Nishinoya perks up and listens closely. The sound isn’t that far, and he slowly makes his way to it. To his surprise, he sees you sitting on the bench under the tree.

You covered your face, head hanging low, and hunched over in sobs.

Nishinoya has never seen you like this before and kind of thinks you deserve whatever happened to you. But he’s a nice guy at the end of the day. He scratches his head before walking up to you. “Hey,” he starts, and you sniffle before looking up at him. “What? Are you going to make fun of me?” You wipe your tears. “If so, do it fast because I’m not in the mood.” “As much as I want to, I’m not.” He confesses.

“Why’re you crying?” “That’s none of your business.” You say that, and he rolls his eyes. "Okay, fine, whatever. Go cry to your bestie and see if I care. Just letting you know, I tried getting along with you.” He turns around, but he hears you burst out crying again. He turns his head back, and you try to wipe the tears away.

“She’s not my best friend.” You say it in between sobs. “No?” You shake your head. “She just acted like one because of how smart I am.” You started to calm down a little and hug yourself. “I don’t really have friends.” Nishinoya looks at you wide-eyed. “Everyone I hang around just uses me for my brain, and they don’t really like me in their conversations.”

You rub your eyes. “I get good grades, but I’m very lonely. I have no one.” Tears start to appear again, but you close your eyes to prevent it. Nishinoya stands there in awe. You continue to speak, “We were supposed to hang out today, but my friends left without me. They said they cancelled, but their social media posts say otherwise.”

Nishinoya can’t help but feel sorry for you. Which sucks, but, as mentioned, he’s a nice guy. He slowly sits down next to you. “I’m sorry your friends left you alone.” He begins, “You shouldn’t be hanging out with those types of people anyway.” “But I did. I told you, I have no one, so I took the chance.” You then raise a brow at him.

“You’re not laughing at me?” “Can I?” You glared, and he took that as a no. He shrugs while leaning his head back. “I think I just pity you.” You sigh, “I understand. You have lots of friends, and you get along with everyone. You’re so social, and everyone likes you, and you don’t even have to try. You're really awesome, Nishinoya.”

Something happened to him that surprised him. Nishinoya's face was all red, and when you guys made eye contact, he looked away. “R-Really? I mean, duh! I’m the most awesome person ever!” He gloats. You blink, then laugh. “In your dreams!” It was good hearing your obnoxious laugh again, and that made him puke.

“Well, I’m done here!” He stands up, placing his hands on his hips. “Karasuno needs me!” “You mean the volleyball team or the school?” “You know what I mean!” You laugh again. “You know, Nishinoya, I really don’t hate you right now. Thanks for listening to me ramble.” He blushes again and scratches his cheek. “As long as I can hear you laugh, then it’s worth it.” He admits. “I’d listen to your ramblings every day." “I-I see.”

You look down to cover your flushed face and hold your hands. Nishinoya stares at you for a while before walking to you, grabbing your shoulder gently, and placing a quick kiss on your cheek. You instantly looked back up, and he moved back, his face redder than ever. “Well, see ya.” He starts to pick up the pace, but you immediately call out for him while standing.

“Wait!” He stops but doesn’t look back at you. “Kissing someone like that... you could’ve at least taken me out, you know?” A small smile appears on your face. Nishinoya turns back with a grin. "Picky, are we?” “Very.” “Okay, tomorrow then.” He nods. “And you better pay.” “What the hell?!” You laugh, and he laughs with you.

“Okay, I’ll pay, and I’ll make sure it’s up to your standards.” “That’s what I’d like to hear.” You both smile at each other. You give him a small wave. “Bye, Noya.” He blushed but waved back. “Bye, Y/N.”

Who knew that, in the end, you guys make a perfect couple?

[avaritia-apotheosis]

Danny ends his first month as Bruce Wayne's PA being held at gunpoint.

This is not the first time he's been in this position, and lord knows with his luck it probably won't be the last. But this is the first time he's ever been held at gunpoint by a regular gun. As in one that fires bullets and has gunpowder, as opposed to the ecto-charged weapons back in Amity. The novelty of the situation makes him hesitate for longer than he usually would. An ecto gun would hurt like a bitch, sure, but he knew he was strong enough to tank it. But a bullet between the eyes? He's not sure how that would affect him considering, well, him, and he's really not in any hurry to figure that out.

The guy in the Michael Myers mask holding him hostage— one of six, all wearing horror movie villain masks probably taken from some local Party City—yelled at Danny to put his hands behind his head. "I know you!" Michael Myers said. "You're Wayne's dog aren't'cha?"

Danny rolled his eyes. He shoots Tiffany, one of the front desk clerks, an exasperated look. God forbid people actually call Danny by his job title.

Tiffany shrugs as best as she could from the ground.

"I'm his PA, asshole," Danny snapped.

"Why you—"

"Oh just shut the fuck up!" Scream, well, screams. "He's just some punk kid. The cops will be here any minute, and we still don't know where the fuck Wayne is."

In the most innocent way Danny could manage (and by innocent, he means the most annoyingly straight face he could pull) Danny says, "Do you have an appointment?"

Tiffany face palms. Scream blue-screens. "What."

"Do you have an appointment?" Danny stalled, straining his senses for any sign of the Bat. Really, it shouldn't take Bruce this long to respond. They were literally in his building. "Anyone that wants to see Mr. Wayne needs an appointment."

Michael Myers fumes. "Yeah, I do. It's under do what we say, or I put a bullet in your teeth!"

Danny tilted his head just so. Was that footsteps he heard overhead?

"Interesting name." Danny made a show of pulling out the palm-sized planner he kept in his breast pocket and flipped to today's date. "Is it foreign?"

He made it a habit to keep a physical copy of his boss' agenda as a back-up in case something happened to his work phone. (See: Vlad messing up the work phone he bought Danny after Danny purposefully squeezed in a month's worth of work into one week). If Danny wasn't so sure that Michael "trigger happy" Myers wouldn't shoot Danny's fancy new work phone, he'd have pulled that out instead and called an ambulance for these poor bastards.

"I am going to enjoy hurting you."

The lights overhead flickered.

Danny hissed in mock-disappointment. "Oooh, would you look at that. It looks like Mr. Wayne is fully booked. Guess you can't see him today." He batted his eye lashes, mouth widening in a shit-eating grin. "But luckily for you, it looks like there's an opening with the Batman."

The room was swallowed up by darkness.

The sound of horror villains screaming was music to Danny's ears.

[cielcreations]

"Special Card" (SoliTango/Rancher Duo)

Idea based off @hybbart's Deepfrost Cast AU (aka, the AU where Solidarity is a guide for Decked Out)

"What's this card?"

"What card?" Tango replied, not looking at his communicator, opting to continue to make sure everything was okay (because god forbid if even one piece of redstone gets messed up).

"I don't know, I just never seen it and it appeared."

"What does it say, Hypno?"

"The title just says 'Canary'. There's nothing else-"

"Ah, so you're the first to get that card to show itself." Tango smirked, standing up straight, "Tell you what Hypno, that card is free. Consider it a... playtest for your next run."

"Seriously?! Wait, what does it do?"

"That's for you to find out. But I will give you a word of advice-" Tango smirked more to himself, "-make sure to take care of the canary. Go ahead, spend the rest of your Frost Embers and get out of there, Cub is next."

"Alright! Thanks, Tango! I'm excited!"

The call ended when a message popped up in chat; Hypnotizd was slain by nothing, they survived Decked Out!

Tango chuckled, "I'm surprised you chose him. I for sure thought you would choose Scar."

There was a flutter behind him.

"Alright, alright, have fun. I'll go prepare for the next round."

***

Hypno rode down the minecart as he once again entered Decked Out. When he reached the end, the doors opened, but no compass was given.

"Oh god, hey, Tango, I think-"

Before he could finish, Hypno watched as the canary card fell down where the compass should be. He gasped, stumbling back as a yellow glow came from the card, snuffing out all the light, a silhouette appearing where the card once was. When the card landed on the ground, it instantly vanished, the silhouette slowly taking shape. Two large wings appeared from it's back as it stood up, a large fluffy jacket resting on the male silhouette. They reached into their jacket, taking out a small cage with a yellow light.

The lanterns, torches, and all other lights returned, showing a tall dirty blonde man, staring down at him brown eyes with blue diamond pupils, blue eye shadow resting on his top eyelid, blue freckles and glitters decorating his nose and cheeks that Hypno could see, as a gas mask covered half his face.

"....Woah..." Hypno simply said, in awe, "...Are... Are you the Canary?"

The dirty blonde nodded, bowing a bit. He then took out another thing from his jacket, avoiding the necklace around his neck before he took out a recorder. He handed it to Hypno, the man pressing play.

"Congratulations!" Tango's voice came from the recorder, "You have managed to obtain the Canary card! Now, the Canary is a special thing! He will lead you to the artifact as well as the exit as safely as he can! However, that is not all! You see, the Canary increases the amount of treasure that may be hiding in the dungeon, he decreases your noise volume which means it's harder to generate Clanks, and the Hazard speed decreases! Oh yeah, the Canary is a powerful card.

However, make sure to take care of him. He will be your guide to the exit. One way or another."

Hypno's eyes were wide as he then looked at the Canary, "You do all that?!"

The Canary blushed a light blue, closing his eyes, as if laughing silently. He then bowed and turned around, the doors opening. Hypno stood up and began to follow the Canary, the dirty blonde humming. As they walked, the Canary held out the cage, Hypno noticing the yellow light moving back and forth, acting as the compass, all while the Canary hummed a small tune.

"Uh, nice song. Does it have a name?" Hypno tried to make small talk.

The Canary seemed to ignore him, choosing instead to continue the song.

"Right.... Well, do you have a name?"

Again, nothing, just more singing.

"Okay..." Hypno smiled awkwardly, "Well, I guess we don't need to have small chitchat to find the artifact... Oh, uh, can you tell me how you can track more treasure? Or do you just track down artifacts and the exit?"

The singing stopped and the Canary turned to Hypno. He grabbed the recorder and pressed play, Tango's voice repeating.

"Hey, I was just-"

The Canary held up one finger before pausing the recorder. He pointed to it, as if to say "listen".

"-the Canary increases the amount of treasure that may be hiding in the dungeon-" The Canary pauses the recorder before blinking at Hypno.

"...Oh, you just increase the amount, can't find it?"

The Canary shook his head.

Hypno nodded, "Okay, I get it now... Can you find the exit anywhere?"

The Canary nodded.

"So, if I wanted to look for more treasure, would you come with me?"

The Canary seemed to smile under his mask and nodded.

Hypno chuckled, "Alright, I'll just tell you when I'm ready then!"

The Canary nodded once more before turning around, humming a song once more as he led the way towards the artifact. They sat in silence, Hypno occasionally seeing some coins and running to get them before following the dirty blonde once more.

Eventually, the Canary stopped and Hypno nearly ran into him.

"Oh-" Hypno stopped, "You okay?"

The Canary held the cage up, opening the door. Hypno watched as the light flew out and sunk into the ground in front of them. When it returned, it circled around an artifact, Hypno gasping and running over to grab it. The light flew back to the Canary and into the cage, the dirty blonde closing the door of it.

Hypno picked up the artifact, "Jar of Speedy Slime! Not too bad! I think it's worth at least-" He looked up, gasping.

The Canary brushed off his coat and, before he could look up at Hypno, the man ran past him in fear of a Ravenger.

"S-SORRY CANARY! I THINK I CAN FIND THE EXIT ON MY OWN THOUGH!"

Hypno went to run out of the door, but the corridor closed. He gasped and turned around, ready to meet the end of a Ravenger's horn. Instead, he saw the Canary standing in front of the Ravenger, looking down, the light in the cage spinning in loops.

"Oh? Wait, are you friends with the Raven-"

Hypno gasped, the heartbeat echoing in the dungeon as fast as it could. All the corridors closed, screeches of Vexes echoing with the slowly crumbling dungeon. The Ravenger lifted itself on it's back legs as it let out a roar, the light going haywire.

"C-Canary?"

The Canary spread his wings out, looking up, the blue diamonds turning to a blood red as he glared at Hypno. The arrow on his necklace turned upside down as the light exploded in the cage, yellow birds circling the room akin to ravens circling their prey.

Hypno's eyes were wide as he realized what was going on.

He will be your guide to the exit. One way or another.

Hypnotizd was slain by The Canary and His Coalmine.

***

"WHAT?!" "WAIT, HUH?!" "TANGO, WHAT WAS THAT?!" "WHAT KIND OF DEATH MESSAGE IS THAT?!"

Tango chuckled, turning to Hypno as he entered the waiting room, "Well, well, well, looks like someone didn't take care of the Canary."

Hypno groaned, "DUDE! I didn't know that would happen!"

"I told you to take care of him!" Tango laughed. Suddenly, a blue ball of light came from the wall, circling around the Dungeon Master. He held out his hand and it rested over it, making the blaze chuckle, "The Canary is a powerful and really good card, but he only shows when he wants to. But with any good card comes it's disadvantage." He then turned, smiling, "Alright, I believe it's Grian's turn?"

"Oh, right, right!" The avian ran over, "Wish me luck!"

Everyone wished Grian luck before Tango excused himself to go behind the scenes. Once he was sure no one would see or hear him, he extended his hand out. The light turned into a silhouette, which turned in none other than the Canary.

"Hello, my canary." The blaze smiled, blushing a blue tint, "Quite a run, are you alright?"

The dirty blonde removed his mask and smiled, nodding, "I'm fine! The Ravangers and Vexes didn't hurt me! Though, I did feel bad for Hypno, he just got scared."

Tango cupped his cheeks, "Oh Solidarity, my canary, it's what he gets if he chose to abandon you. He was warned."

"I know, I know. It's just going to take some getting used to. I know how competitive everyone is, I just don't like being the cause of death..."

"You're so sweet, this is why I love you!" Tango kissed his cheek.

Solidarity giggled, blushing blue, "Tangooooo~! Stop it~!"

"Nuh-uh! It's Kiss the Canary Time! I don't make the rules!"

The dirty blonde blushed more and giggled, letting the other do as he pleased, happily sharing kisses with the blaze.

[chaifootsteps]

outside of the whole one night stand thing the biggest evidence stans use that Blitzo "led Stolas on" or "gave mixed signals" or whatever is Ozzie's

but like, when Blitzo called him up he said "go to a club" not "go on a date" (and not even a typical romantic datespot, either) then when Stolas insisted on calling it their first real date he was just like "oh...I guess it is, huh :/" with no enthusiasm (and told Stolas his outfit was too much for the occasion). and then when Stolas asks him why bring him there Blitzo just says he thought it'd be a blast

like the signs were there that if the night had gone to plan Blitzo had just intended on having fun (while spying on M&M) but Stolas ignores them, again, and somehow thinks they could be a couple despite the deal being in place (which is horrific all by itself, like was he just going to segue straight to you give me romance and I give you dates as the new transaction, expect then he'd expect Blitzo to humor his romantic delusions that they're together? does he understand that you don't treat someone like a rent boy if you actually respect them??)

even if we give Stolas being oblivious and desperate a pass (again) there's no way he should have still been assuming that Blitzo thought romantically of him by the end of the night. Blitzo leaves absolutely no room for ambiguity on that front - first he tells Stolas inviting him out at all was a mistake and then he tells them all that's between them is sex

but Stolas can't get a clue and thinks just sending some cloying, vague texts will be enough to make Blitzo's feelings for him do a 180.

and worst thing is the writing here could be so interesting if only the writers would admit that Stolas is next level delusional and rationalizing his abuse of Blitzo away out of loneliness

It absolutely could, but it would also -- god forbid! -- open the door to people not liking Stolas as a character. Viv can't handle that, so she'll frantically slap white paint all over every detail you've just mentioned, over the details everyone else has mentioned. She'll futilely try to make Stolas beyond reproach even as it makes him more unlikable than ever.

[affectionatenouns]

It's rough coming to the realization that your parents only "care" about you insofar as keeping themselves in your life. I was on the phone with my dad the other day, which is a rare enough occurrence on its own, but the topic turned to politics, which my father generally refuses to talk to me about because he gets emotional when he's wrong about things.

My parents are old-style conservatives. Not good, but better than the raving, foaming-at-the-mouth fascism that modern conservatism is. They're the "small government, tax me less, Reagan was cool and trickle-down is real" type conservatives (nevermind that they've been poor their entire lives and jack shit has ever trickled down to them).

During this conversation, my dad said that he "just tries to stay out of politics as much as he can". I responded saying that I wish it were that easy for me, and that I'm staring down the barrel of having all of my rights stripped away from me. His response to that is still echoing in my ears, since it was one of the most delusional, blatantly and demonstrably false things I've ever heard. "Son," he said, not bothering to correct himself, nor even stopping to think about what he had just said, "I'm a straight, white, Christian man. I'm a minority in this country and there are people trying to take away my rights every day."

As sickening as that was to hear, I didn't bother calling him out on it because I had just woken up from a nap and didn't have the energy to start a fight about it. I just dismissed it and mentioned the realities I face both now and in the future. To which he responded "it's all a matter of perspective." What a fucking thing to say. A matter of perspective. Like, you can't bother to even listen to your daughter as she tells you about the material, unavoidable reality of her life. It's all a matter of perspective. As if I can just say "Oh, y'know what, you're right. I can just pretend these things don't happen to me and won't happen to me. I'm not in constant danger actually, because I've changed how I look at the problem." and it all goes away. A fucking matter of fucking perspective.

My mom is barely any better about this. She pretends to listen, but still refuses to believe that anything I'm saying is reality. My little brother still lives at home, and through him, I've learned that the only person who consistently genders me correctly is him. When they aren't talking directly to me or my husband, my parents don't put in an ounce of effort. They flatly refuse to talk with me about anything to do with HRT or how it affects me. I'm on the verge of cutting them off entirely because of it, but I know if I do that, or god forbid mention doing it, I'll get another tearful speech about how it's just SO HARD and they're trying their best and it's all such an adjustment. You have to let us make mistakes, we can't feel like we're walking on eggshells talking to you. Please oh PLEASE just let us misgender you and ignore your identity in favor of the one we constructed in our heads for you PLEASE.

It's all just so tiresome.

[random-conspiracy]

Ok, I'm entering my villain (& heroes!) arch aajshashasa. This stupid fixation of superpowers and fiction comic stories.

WELL, HOT TAKE OF THE DAY:

The majority of superpowers in fiction and oc's are boring because they're straightforward. Picture it, there's aaaaaaaaaaaaaaalways someone with the power of:

Mimic someone's power

Invisivility

Steel skin

Puppeteer or any variation of body and mind manipulation (because *wink wink* we're all edgys and saw creepypastas a lot hashas)

Perhaps fly

Ultra speed

And shit like that ajshashasa. Don't get me wrong, those are amazing superpowers. Even just one person in a normal-esque world is a fucking anomaly and represents a game changer.

HOWEVER it's quite boring and honestly quite lazy. Because oh yes! The evil twisted villain of the wee has the power of... mind control. OH BOY! I fucking wonder what is gonna happen! (sacarsm). Or shadow control powers or super force and you know the rest. WHAT a twist! (/s).

And the same goes for the heroes that GOD forbid they're not teenagers or young adults in well shaped bodies BECAUSE UUUUUUFFFFFFFFFF. Call me crazy but if you can fly I doubt you're using at all your muscles the same way a common person does ahshasa. But why fucking not, we can never have enough twinks and women in spandex, can we? ahshahsa.

There's no twist and creative work in a superheroe or a villain or whatever that has JUST that exact power that conveniently works.

I'm a slut for the characters with random and incoherent powers!

That's where this shit goes hard. Beacuse it's so easy to be a superhero whn you can walk through walls or move at high speed. But what happens when you have the power to deconstruct objetcs? Fly just 50 cm off the groud? Exact knowledge of the pupulation in Taiwan (while you live in Argentina)?

What happens to them??? I wanna see the shenanigans, the creative solutions to abnormal problems! And what happens to the powers that become a burden or that straight up are incompatible with the common society. What happens if you're born without bones? If TV signals sometimes cross without way to evade it into your mind?

I wanna see creative villains. With powers like super healing and bubblegum madness. Concidental induction and urbomancy. Hhahshahsas

The thing is not actually that the pwoers are common or simple, the thing is for me that the weaponization in battle is the number one thought. Like, yeah, I bet turning sound waves into lethal blades is powerful but out of battle, does it matter? It means somethig? Can you cut a frozen pizza for dinner or you destroy your whole kitchen?

(Tbf, a story a bout a character struggling to see beyond his powers shapped to battle could be interesting BUT that's another story ahsahsas).

And I'm also bored of the god-like powers. You can fly and you can control minds! For free I guess and with no real consequences. Bceause let's be serious, Spidermand and Superman as archetypes of the hero had their own limitation (not precisely linked to their powers by themselves BUT WHATEVER). They're more or less the exception to this.

I Wanna See Limits

LIMITS. I care 0 if the character can eat the fucking Sun. What I want to see is that power in personal impact and relativity. Sometimes the right (or wrong!) word has more power that destroying the Earth. And a lot of it comes from the limitations. How easy is everything when you have all the power, but the limitations are what shape the plausibility, the humanity and the imagination around it. For example Magneto. It's because of his clear limitations that he scaping from the plastic underground prison in the movies is so fantastic. He uses a creative solution to work around his limits. Amazing!

Idk man, Brandon Sanderson said this shit already. Go see him go see him.

[darcyfangirlsfrequently]

My reactions to episode 7 of season 2 of Criminal Minds Evolution

The only thing I know about this episode is that it's fucked up

Spoilers below the cut!

(TW: loss of a child under the cut)

oh, acid showers. lovely.

oh god the hair melting off the scalp. no WONDER i got warnings for this episode

drowning in acid. Lovely!!!

oh this IS fucked up.

Garvez in the same room! Yay! Crumbs!

Have I mentioned I love JJ and Luke's friendship?

Penelope with all the pretty flowers on her dress!! she looks so good in this scene

Penelope is just straight-up STARING at Luke

TARA WITH THE SLICKED BACK HAIR SHE'S SO GORGEOUS I LOVE HER

Emily reading Tyler to shit over his handwriting? Iconic.

Look I kinda love Tyler. AS HIS OWN SEPARATE CHARACTER AWAY FROM PENELOPE. When he's with literally ANYONE else, he's great.

Tara i see those heart eyes for Emily

"Mr. Sensitive" help i SNORTED

Why is Rossi so against contacting Jill? Forbidding her?

Okay so my theory was correct. The victim at the beginning sexually assaulted the unsub's wife, and this baby is a product of that.

Look Tyler is adorable, okay? When he's interacting with the rest of the team, I love him.

"Just what Garcia told me" I wasn't under the impression that they talked much???? Especially about this kind of stuff.

They're just turning Tyler into their puppy and i'm here for it

Voit's Lawyer! finally!

He's really offering to END his lawyer's ex wife???

ooh that shot through all the car windows is cool

"I just want you to be you" please god tell me she's not saying "clearly you have a way of winning over/seducing older blonde women and i need you to do that"

"I don't wanna be that guy." Yes Tyler!! Growth!!

"just fuckin drive" emily i love you. I also love this friendship dynamic.

JJ: Maybe Penelope can help us find [the connection.] Luke: Penelope! Yes! Let's go see Penelope! I love Penelope! (he loves her it's canon)

LUKE SITTING ON THE DESK LUKE SITTING ON THE DESK

LUKE THE SMIRK??? THE HEART EYES??? oh my GOD

"It's why you and I are finally friends" DAMN FATALITY

"finally" with the smirk I LOVE THEM SO MUCH HOLY FUCK

I just know JJ is sitting there like "are y'all gonna stop flirting for two seconds"

THEIR SMILES OH MY GOD THEY'RE JUST SO THRILLED TO BE AROUND EACH OTHER THEY'RE SO IN LOVE.

"thanks frieeend" I LOVE THEM BY THAT DELIVERY WAS SO FUNNY. Also he touched her arm/back

The way they're calling each other "friend" is literally so flirty.

PLEASE tell me someone has done a gifset comparing "we thrive as frenemies" to "it's why you and I are finally friends."

Also the way that means she literally just called him TREASURE????

I just know that as Luke was saying "thanks frieeeend" he was thinking "thanks, friend, i love youuu"

THIRD HOTCH MENTION OF THE SEASON GODDAMN

Hotch, Morgan, and Reid all in the SAME SCENE damn

I love Jill already

Ooh, fiancé not fiancée

"I loved Jason" "He loved you back" I'M IN SHAMBLES ACTUALLY

Emily did you just say that David Rossi ISN'T dramatic???

Tyler and i are JUST as fucking confused

"The next generation of the BAU" really reminds me of how much younger than all of them he is which just makes me feel icky about Greencia all over again

Luke leading the profile delivery! Getting his moment! We love to see it!

Oh shit the doctor is spilling ALL the tea

I wonder if the baby is dead, a delusion

This is dark.

Wait, are the baby AND the mother dead??? Oh that would make sense for why the guy puked when he saw her. It was a skeleton

this really is a luke heavy ep and i am here for it

oh god yeah that's... fucked.

They need to start putting some god damn trigger warnings on this show

Luke looks genuinely SAD for this man.

They can give Voit a corded phone? this feels like a risk of some sort

A kill kit??? we didn't leave that behind last season??

"Do not, for any reason, open it." and ofc he opens it right away

JILL AND PENELOPE HUG MY HEARTTTT

Tara and Tyler friendship!

Oh Jilllll. I wanna hug her.

That scene with Jill walking around touching everything... oh my heart. Aisha Tyler you ate with that.

[romsabombs]

GUYS the new malevolent is insane so i just thought i'd drop my notes in here✍️ ENJOY it's a lot

freaky ahh cavern

😦😦😦

SHUT UP!!!!!!!!

the man is bathed in darkness👹 john thats racist

mf literally been crucified this is so arthurs religious trauma

that is not what bones sound like i think

shes so me awful posture

me at 4am in the kitchen looking for a snack

WAIT oh yuck :/

HAHA THEY'RE IN HIS NOSTRILS

PRINCE MENTIONED

car accident thats so season 1

this is kind of like a hat in time maybe

omgg a witch :3

arthur survives the wildest shit but i think a mcdonalds sprite would kill him

AAAHHH WHAT THE FUCK!!!!😨😨 YUCK YUCK EW EW RAAAHHH

WHAAAAAT

cant we only do allat to corpses

omg spit it out john

YEAAHHHH HES DEAD

🤭🤭🤭YIPPEE I KNEW IT

omggg thats so janey :33

hes bein puppeted by the maggots thats crazy

STOP TELLING HIM TO KILL THINGS HAHA

omgg kaynes dagger <33

how can this mf be helpful

this is so tmp a bit

rotten flesh mentioned minecraft ref

HAHA WHAAT THATS SO GROSS

the maggots be like i have your fucking eyes👹👹👹👹

OMG WHAT THE HELL zombie arc

claustrophobia again

imagine harlan recording this

omg that's so sexy 🔥🔥 decapitated his ass

HAHA WE'RE ONLY 11 MINUTES IN??

LMAO john stop saying things

YES JOHN it WOULD have been helpful to know this guy didnt have any eyes

"this isnt new york anymore" thank god amiright

his head between our legs🤨

its so funny how he calls it a pinky. didnt someone on tumblr say john wouldnt know finger names

im surprised arthur still has a shirt

the flesh feels stiff😟

this guy is still alive😦 or. dead. i guess

arthur is like weirdly normal about this guy being a zombie. i know hes seen shit (no he hasnt) but come on

faroes song ☹️

YEAHH PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTHH💪

oh what😐 the prince🙄

what did he sayy

oh gross come on guys😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 at this point just put it in your own mouth

"id like to think this is the most insane thing we've ever done" 💀

teehee they dont wanna seperate :3

YEAH! AND FAROE

"everyone we've ever loved" weak. also john doesnt care about anyone but you

"we cant afford to not use every resource anymore" HAHA this is so funny because didnt you throw away everything youve ever owned last episode

yippee welcome back vanguard :3

nothing😟 WAIT YIPPEE :3

WELCOME BACK VANGUARD‼️☝️

omg names mentioned

wait. yorick? llorick? thats the thing arthur said

its not lorick that was the guy from the dreamlands

WOAH WAIT WOAH HUH

hey what the fuck did that mean😀

omg what. rumpelstiltskin

HAHA hes so loser

OMG wait they said stanzyck right

ofcourse anna is dead bruh we were never gonna meet her

arthur and john both being "kings"😟

this tooth is so silly🥰

everyones walking over arthur today💀

they're so miscommunication <3

hey😀 hey whats that sound

DONT SAY IT ugh the prince

"ahh yes :3"

OH😨😨😨😨 A WHAT

SHUT UP🗣️👹 HAHA THATS SO SILLY

this guy is so kayne. and a bit autistic

wait r we just carrying around this skull

bro arthur sounds so tired

ooo this would go hard as a cosplay

i cant believe he has a belt

EUGH YUCK😦

ooo the black stone perchance?

ok i guess not

omg god forbid a girl has hobbies🙄

"im not saying its not risky. what im saying is, it might be worth the risk" that line goes hard

arthur agreeing to this is like a dad saying "okay fine we'll go to mcdonalds🙄"

no reward without risk✊💥

"we're in the lion's den already" "it is a hag's womb👹" HEHEHE

HAHA SILLIES HEHEHEEHE🤭🥰

oooohh johnn 😶‍🌫️

OH 😦 ohhh 😀 u have his memories

clever girl

"thanks yorick😐" "you too my king🤗" "shut up🙄👹"

yorick is so me absolutely no sense of social cues

ofcourse we'd encounter a witch here it was so obvious

"try to keep straight" pff

did john say im serving

hey yeah maybe dont go towards the light😀

LMAO LOOK AROUND? foul

when is the jumpscare happening

i have no idea what he's saying

"too much to make out" MAKE OUT?🤭

LMAO he doesnt know

pregnant meat☹️⁉️

hey i thought asking the vanguard questions would have a price🤨😀

imagine if he just crushed that zombies skull like its a good thing we just decapitated him

hes literally describing my room

you're my eyes☹️

they're acting as if the lighter would give us much light

omgg shes a little interior decorator

tapestry lore!!💪

five minutes left whats gonna happen

wuh ohhh somethings gonna happen

THE STAIRS ARE GONE!!!😬

ur literally in her home leave her alone

his ass is panicking

this is so part 18 the madness

we're trapped :( :(

"ingenious decision king🤓" "SHUT UP���"

SPRINT!!!!!! 🏃🏃🏃🏃

OH???? 😦😦😦😦 WHAT

IMPALED???M???MNFJREJSJ HUHH

--

omggg he got marcy'd

i saw fanart of this but i lowkey couldnt tell if it was a spoiler or not💀

hot take but if he got bitten by that zombie he could prolly survive this

HUHHH bro this is like part 27 the roots. he was less dramatic about it this time tho

bro yorick finally shut up💀

sooo where did he get impaled. like if in the heart hes cooked😬

[romanarose]

Just Happy Accidents

Jake Lockley X Reader

Summary: Jake gets rear ended.

Warnings: A lil yelling, Jake kinda being a dick, a lil smutty (over the clothes touching, thigh riding) Mostly just cuteness

Forgot to add, bold is Steven, italics is Marc, red is Jake (This is my system for all my fics btw)

Jake Lockley was about to lose his goddamn shit. Here he was, stopped at a stop sign, when some dumbass rammed into it. A full stop, mind you, because despite what everyone seems to think, he actually follows all traffic laws. Last thing he needed was a run in with the cops, or god forbid an accident that leaves Marc and Steven fucked up. Luckily, as he moved his body, he was sure things were probably fine. He had to explain to them why their neck hurt, but that was it. For him, anyway.

His car was going to be another fucking story. He gets out of his cab, fuming, ready to yell at someone. He did not expect the girl to get out of the car and yell at him. 

“What is wrong with you!” You shout, furious.

He blinks at the audacity. “Excuse me? You hit me!” He shouts, pointing at himself.

“YOUSTOPPEDTOOFAST” You spit out rapidly, panic quickly setting in.

“There is no such thing as stopping too fast, idiota, you were either following too close, or not paying attention!” Jake counters, knowing traffic laws better than he probably needs to. 

You freeze, knowing he has a point, and you were caught. You immediately break down crying.

Jake is only human, and a pretty young girl crying in front of him is not something he enjoys.

“Hey… hey now…” He starts, uncertain ahow to go about this. 

“I’m never going to financially recover from this!” you sob into your hands.

Jake, why is there a crying girl in front of you? Of course Steven comes to the headspace when there’s crying.

Everything is fine, Steven, just a fender bender.

Oh bullocks, are you okay? Is she?

I’m fine, Steven, so is- Jake realized he didn’t know if you were hurt or not. “Are you hurt?”

Your hands were in your face as you cried. “No” You shook your head.

Jake paused, waiting for you to stop crying. It didn’t happen. He was still irritated. “Well, this is what insurance is for.” C’mon mate, don’t be an arse

Your sobs picked up again. “I don’t have insurance.” 

Dios Mio. Jake thought, just my fucking luck. “You don’t have insurance?” Jake pinched the bridge of his nose. “Mujer, what the fuck?”

You remove your hands from your red and blotchy face. “Well you don’t have to be a fucking dick about it.”

He put his hands on his knees in bewilderment. “You rear ended me, Chica. You don’t get to tell me not to be a dick.”

“Do you think I hit you for shits and giggles?” You said through tears.

Don’t be an asshole Great. Marc was here, just what he needed.

Jake tried to calm himself, stand back up straight. “Whyyyyy don’t you have insurance, Carino?” He tried to hide the irritation in his voice behind the pet name.

You threw up your hands. “I got laid off okay! Are you happy! I got laid off and I just got behind on all my bills and I was either car insurance or rent so you can fuck right off with your judgy fucking face right now!” You were angry, not necessarily at him… but he wasn’t fucking helping. He was being a dick. You start crying again.

Come on mate, be nice. Jake sighed. “Okay don’t start that again, I’m sure we can work this out.” Just let it go, man. It’s just the fender. We can buy one online and install it ourselves, she’s clearly having a rough time. She kept crying. Would you be saying that if she wasn’t pretty? You got me.

“I’m sorry.” You muttered into your hands. “It’s been a long few months. Lots of pent up emotions. I’ll call the police and get your information and figure out whatever the fuck I do now.”

“Listen, don’t… don’t worry about it, hermosa.”

“No!” You pointed at him determinedly. “No, Thank you but no. I’m just so sick of charity. I know it’s probably hard to believe when I’m crying in front of you, but I am sick of people pitying me. I just found a new job and I’m catching up on bills, I’ll just skip a few card payments or whatever.”

“Okay, okay.” Jake put up his hands defensively. “No charity. We can exchange information and figure out a payment plan. I know some shit about car repair, I can do that myself, and you can pay me back what you can, when you can.” Is this just an excuse to get her number? No, dumbass, it’s an excuse to get my car fixed. Listen, I wouldn’t complain, she’s cute. You watch too much porn, Marc. We’re not using sex as payment. That’s not what I meant!

You looked at him hesitantly. “This isn’t just an excuse to get my number?” 

Jesus, does she share Steven’s brain? “No, Cariño, I just want my car fixed. Listen, there’s a dinner down the road, I was heading there for lunch. We can talk this over, come up with a plan?” When you still eye him suspiciously, he raises his hands defensively. “No funny business! Just business… regular business.”

“...Regular business? I sure hope you aren’t trying to make a come on, because you are not smooth” You laugh a bit, and suddenly Jake wanted to make you laugh again.

“Believe me, Carino, if I was flirting, you’d know” He winked at you, and moved to get in his car. “Vamnos, Chica, Gena is going to think I backed into a poll if I don’t bring a witness to testify.”

Lunch was absolutely not strictly business. It was absolutely silly business, borderline tomfoolery. No regular business got done, not in the 3 hours at the diner, not at the park after Gena kicked you out (with love), and not in the nearly three months you almost always slept at his place. At month four, you moved in. After being able to catch up on bills with a much smaller rent, you surprised him by fixing his car. Well, you bought the piece, Marc put it on. You were in charge of handing him the tools. 

“The philips head screwdriver”

“I’ll give you head.”

“Baby, please, give me the screwdrive- no not that one! I said philips head!”

“YOU SAID SCREWDRIVER”

“I said philips head before you had to make a sexual inuedo!”

“Here”

“THATS A HAMMER”

“AH DON’T YELL AT ME DAD!”

“I’M NOT YELLING”

“Fine I don’t know what a philips head screwdriver is.”

“Jesus Christ baby  you could’ve just said that.” He rolled out from under the car, grabbing what he needed. He raised his eyebrow as he held up the philips head, a lopsided smile on his face. With the help of his under-car roller, he slide back under. You pull him back you, giving him a kiss on his gross, dirty, grease covered mouth.

You adored all three of them, you adored how they all complimented each other, how you got different aspects of them all combined into one, incredibly sexy man. All of them offered something different. Jake was wild, reckless, fun. Marc was domestic, suburban dad energy. And Steven? Steven was your sexy professor.

“C’mon Steven, pay attentiont to me!”

“Let me finish this chapter, then I promise, I’m all yours.”

“Can you at least tell me what you’re reading about?” You scoot up to him, pressing your body against his as you pretend to read the book. 

Steven was not deterred. “I’m learning about the Hyksos invasion of Egypt, I didn’t think this was in your wheelhouse?”

“What the fuck are the Hyksos?”

“They are an ancient civilization that came out of nowhere and took over the Egyptians for several dynasties. No one knows who they are, where they came from, where they went…” 

“Like cotton eye joe.” You place your hand on his thigh, hoping to get him worked up.

“I- what?”

“You know. Where did he come from, where did he go, where did he come from, cotton eye joe?” You palm his hardening cocked over his jeans.

“Love… “ He warns you.

“I’m sorry! Tell me something fun about the Egyptians. I promise I’m listening” You weren’t.

“There's uh…” he swallows. “There was a female pharaoph, actually. A few of them, really but one that is particualrly interesting is Hatshepsut. She rules as a regent when her- oh god” Steven swollowed hard as you climbedup on his thigh and beganrocking your body on him as your strocked his clothed dick.

“Keep going baby.”

“T-thing is” he panted, hips bucking up. “She just never gave the thrown back, she just banished her step son.”

“Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss”

“I-” Steven stopped, looking confused at you. “Sometimes, I wonder how your mind works, love”

You start to unbottom his jeans slowly, watching his lips part in aw as you pout at him. “Does this mean you are going to fuck me, finally?”

Gently set his book down, making sure to bookmark his spot, then pushed you back down on the couch, enrapturing you mouth in a kiss.

That’s how you found yourself in Jake’s arms, a year after the car accident, with a ring on your finger.

“Remember how we met, baby?” You ask him, tracing his bare chest with your fingers.

“How could I forget, Carino” Jake kissed the side of your face, still sweaty from making love all evening.

“Never thought I’d be this happy to have gotten in a fender bender” You smile

“It’s like Bob Ross always says. No mistakes, just happy accidents."

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @ahookedheroespureheart

Thank you for reading! Had this stupid idea in my head for a while bc I'm silly

the cotton eye joe bit is based off of an actual moment with my history professor where he was talking about the hyksos and i said that. He did not know what the cotton eye joe was. At least the class laughed.

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess by Chappell Roan (Part I)

FEMININOMENON

Same old story, time again.

Got so close but then you lost it.

Should've listened to your friends.

You sent him pictures and playlists and phone sex.

Let's get coffee.

Let's meet up.

I'm so sick of online love.

I don't understand, why can't any man...

Can you play a song with a fucking beat?

Make a bitch go on and on.

It's a femininomenon.

So, let's say it's working out.

You pretend to love his mother.

He's such a goddamn good lover.

Got what you wanted, so stop feeling sorry.

You know what I mean.

You know what you need.

But does it happen?

RED WINE SUPERNOVA

She was a playboy.

She showed me things I didn't know.

She did it right there out on the deck.

I'm in the hallway waitin' for ya.

I just want you to make a move.

Slow down, sit down.

I just wanna get to know ya.

Guess I didn't quite think it through.

Fell in love with the thought of you.

Baby, why don't you come over?

Let's pick it up now.

I don't care that you're a stoner.

I like what you like.

It's my type.

Want me to fuck you?

I will 'cause I really want to.

I've got a California king.

Okay, maybe it's a twin bed.

Don't worry, we're cool.

I heard you like magic.

I've got a wand and a rabbit.

Let's get freaky.

AFTER MIDNIGHT

Nothing good happens when it's late and you're dancing alone.

It's not attractive wearing that dress and red lipstick.

This is what I wanted.

This is what I like.

I've been a good girl for a long time.

I like flirting.

Can't be a good girl even if I tried.

I'm feeling kinda freaky.

Maybe it's the club lights.

I kinda wanna kiss your girlfriend if you don't mind.

I love a little drama.

Everything good happens after midnight.

Maybe it's the moonlight.

Let's watch the sunrise.

I really want your hands on my body.

That’s my type of fun.

That's my kind of party.

Baby, put your hands up.

Be a freak in the club.

COFFEE

Can't meet you for dinner.

It's where I met your family.

Some words were exchanged.

We know where that leads.

I'll meet you for coffee.

I know that's a lie.

If I didn't love you, it would be fine.

Nowhere else is safe.

Every place leads back to your place.

He said let's do the park.

God forbid it gets dark.

I'd rather feel something than nothing at all.

We've done this before.

I don't need it anymore.

Let's not do coffee.

Let's not even try.

It's better we leave it.

It's never just coffee.

CASUAL

My friends call me a loser.

I'm still hanging around.

I've heard so many rumors.

I'm just a girl that you bang on your couch.

I thought you thought of me better.

We're not together.

Baby, no attachment.

Is it casual now?

I know what you tell your friends.

Get me off again.

I love being stupid.

Dream of us in a year.

Maybe we'd have an apartment.

It's hard being casual.

I try to be the chill girl that holds her tongue and gives you space.

I try to be the chill girl but honestly, I'm not.

You wonder why I'm bitter?

I get off when you hit it.

I hate to tell the truth.

I'm sorry dude you didn't.

I hate that I let this drag on so long.

I hate myself.

You can go to hell.

SUPER GRAPHIC ULTRA MODERN GIRL

Never waste a Friday night on a first date.

But there I was, In my heels with my hair straight.

This man wouldn't dance.

He didn't ask a single question.

He was wearing these fugly jeans.

It doesn't matter though.

He doesn't have what it takes to be with a girl like me.

I know what I want

I'm through with all these hyper mega bummer boys like you.

I need a super graphic ultra modern girl like me.

Look at her moving.

She's the one

Oh yeah, I need a super graphic ultra modern girl like me

Get up off your feet.

Get up on that bar.

Flash the camera.

You're a star.

HOT TO GO!

I could be the one.

It's all in my head.

I don't want the world.

Who can blame a girl?

Call me hot, not pretty

Baby, do you like this beat?

I made it so you'd dance with me.

You can take me hot to go.

I try not to care but it hurts my feelings.

You don't have to stare, comе here, get with it.

No one's touched me there in a damn hot minute.

I made it so you'd sleep with me.

What's it take to get your number?

What's it take to bring you home?

Hurry up, it's time for supper.

Order up, I'm hot to go.

Hurry up, it's getting cold.

Whew, it's hot in here.

Is anyone else hot?

You coming home with me?

I'll call the cab.

[amazingmsme]

I am also here to add to the EPIC: The Musical agenda!! Thank you fluff-void because you made my writing brain go brr <3 -Sheridan

Polites and Odysseus start a damn tickle war, once Odysseus’s ticklishness gets out.

It’s really cute; Polites is jumpy and giggly for however long Odysseus feels like dragging out his anticipation, which can be a while depending on how mean he’s feeling. 

He plays it completely straight too, despite the smirk tugging at the edges of his lips. 

“Why so jumpy, brother? I was merely letting you know it’s my watch!” 

“Ah, I didn’t mean to startle you, there was simply a loose thread I didn’t want to risk you getting caught on.”

He’s so smug, ugh. 

The master of playful condescension and sarcasm as he lers. 

“Oh; this tickles? I had no idea!”  

“Being as ticklish as this? You must be an anomaly even the Gods can’t figure out. Heh; that or they cursed you. Wonder what you did in a past life~? Maybe you were just too cute for your own good. I’m willing to believe it- just listen to those adorable giggles and hiccups of yours!”

No strategy a lee of his thinks up will work 9 times out of 10. He’ll typically either know the person well enough, wait them out, or get a read on their strategy and then nip it in the bud. 

Eurylochus let slip a bad spot of his only he remembered and started to hide, only appearing for his scheduled shifts, burying himself in his work. and dodging Odysseus at meal times only to get cornered in his room by an already waiting Odysseus who just grinned at him with a glint in his eyes. 

“You know, I don’t think I quite remember your worst spots nearly as well as you do mine; shall we rediscover them together?”

“Captain, we can talk about this!”

Eurylochus tries to plead his case, already feeling a grin spreading across his lips but Odysseus merely cracks his neck and starts to move towards him. 

“Oh I think you’ve already done quite enough talking for your own good, don't you?”

Eurylochus is lost to laughter after that. 

He’s the one that gets most embarrassed when tickled in public, or in front of his men. His laughter is loud, and hard to contain when he finally cracks. 

Odysseus truthfully isn’t much better embarrassment wise inwardly but his ler side tends to keep the men more in line, along with being Captain so no-one’s the wiser. 

Eurylochus is there to make sure no-one goes too far, and intervene or turn the tables for those that deserve it. cough Odysseus cough

Odysseus gets so flustered if a God shows up while he’s being wrecked. Good Lord.

He can typically hold onto some remnant of his Captain persona otherwise but he crumbles if Athena or Hermes show up, especially if either teases him, or makes a sarcastic comment or dry quip like he tends to do when he’s the ler, or Gods forbid they help? It’s all over for him.

I’M EATING THIS RIGHT THE FUCK UP YOU HAVE NO IDEA! They’re so fucking cute & silly, they deserve to just have some fun & chill out. This got a lil long ‘cause I’m “normal” about them

Odysseus & Polites just go back & forth getting each other, & it all started when Polites just wanted to sneak up & startle him while he was having a conversation. But he surprised him by squeezing his sides & Odysseus was like “oh, you wanna start this?” & he’s so innocent like “start what?” & that’s the last thing he’s able to say

He’s Odysseus favorite to wreck because he’s just so cute & he makes it too easy. Odysseus loves fucking with him & pretending he’s not, it’s literally his favorite game

Shxjsvxuu his flimsy excuses are so funny cause like, yeah he COULD be telling the truth, but look at that smirk! Look at his eyes sparkling! That’s pure mischief baby! & the way he’s just so smugly casual is almost like a dare to be called out on it. & Polites tried to, once

“I know that’s not what you’re really doing!” & Odysseus cocks his head like “oh? So you’re calling me a liar?” & Eurylochus is looking at him from over the captain’s shoulder like don’t do it, but Polites keeps on truckin’. “No, that’s not what I’m saying” “then what are you saying?” & he’s using that teasy mocking tone & Polites is trying not to giggle & is like “you’re just trying to mess with me” & he grins & shrugs like “well now that you put the idea in my head” & Polites tries to be like “but the idea was already in your head!” But he’s wrestled to the ground before he can finish that sentence

I fucking love your examples of some of his teases cause they’re so spot on! He’s so smug & mean about it, he’s literally such a bullyyyy. He LOVES rubbing it in their face how ticklish they are or how much they’re laughing. Literally the best worst

Poor poor Eurylochus knew he fucked up the moment he said it. It just slipped out, Polites was finally getting some well deserved revenge, & in front of a small audience of some very amused soldiers. But he could see Odysseus was trying to get the upper hand, so he casually says “you should try his hips, they make him scream louder than the gods” & then freezes because he knows the target he just put on his back. & as if to confirm it, it the midst of the struggle Odysseus catches his eye & mouths “you’re dead” soooo yeah it’s time for his disappearing act

Some of the soldiers that bore witness catch on when they see that he’s not hanging around their captain & think it’s hilarious. They’ll sneak up behind him & go “boo” pretending to be Odysseus & it gives him a heart attack every damn time! Polites definitely notices his absence by their captain’s side & hunts him down to tease him about it. It backfires, but it was worth it in the moment. After like a week of hiding & strategic avoidance, he goes to his room to grab something. He walks in & the door slams shut behind him & Odysseus is standing there with his hand on the door, smug as ever. Just like “you’re a tough man to track down, you know that?”

He just starts backing up wondering if he could fit through the porthole window, slowly & carefully trying to plead his case. But Odysseus’s smile never falters & he’s just so ready to make him shut the hell up & laugh

Eurylochus has prided himself on his ability to always keep a cool head in most situations, so he gets really flustered any time he loses his composure. & nothing makes you lose your composure more than being tickled

He’s definitely really shy about it & his top priority is trying to hide his face or muffle his laughter. Odysseus loves to point out how he’d rather hide than fight back (that backfires because now he IS fighting back & Odysseus wasn’t prepared for that)

Odysseus talks such a big game for someone who can’t take what he dishes out. He blushes so much as soon as someone starts teasing him. He gets so cute & shy if he thinks he’s about to get wrecked & he goes over every escape option in his head

Ksbskandkf he would absolutely die on the fucking spot if a god personally bore witness to him in such a vulnerable, embarrassing position. Athena once showed up in the middle of Eurylochus & Polites wrecking him & she just quietly waits for them to finish. He’s soooo flustered & pissy that she just stood there & did nothing “I mean, the least you could’ve done was leave” & she’s smirking like “I need to talk to you. And you deserved to be humbled” but he’s still grumpy & embarrassed about it

[simplyundeniable98]

without you n.s

Warnings ~ MAJOR ANGST *please do not read this if you are sensitive to any kind of loss or heartbreak*, character deaths, depression, happy ending kinda because I couldn't help myself.

Word count ~ 1.4k

"Neteyam wait! This is not smart, we do not know what the sky people have on this ship, we need to leave!" You pleaded as you grabbed ahold of your mate.

You and Neteyam had successfully managed to help poor Tuk, Tsireya, and Lo'ak escape the sky people, however, Lo'ak had convinced Neteyam to save the human boy that was somewhere on the huge ship.

It was a bad idea. You knew that. The sky people had many machines the three of you were not strong enough to bear. But Ewya forbid, Lo'ak was your brother now and if he desperately wanted to save the boy then you would help him.

"Stay behind me yawne" Neteyam whispered as he crept up closer to where Spider resided surrounded by humans. The three of you made your move pouncing on the tiny humans.

You hissed raising your bow and shooting an arrow straight through the chest of a sky demon all while using the same bow to knock another one into the water.

One by one the sky people were no match for the three Na'vis. Lo'ak elbowed the human causing him to drop his gun. Lo'ak picked it up and frantically pulled the trigger surprising himself.

"Let's go!" Neteyam called to you, Lo'ak, and Spider. You all followed and knelt behind a wall as Neteyam ripped the gun from Lo'aks hands and shooting at the sky people.

He motioned with his arm to jump off the ship as Spider and Lo'ak followed his orders and dove off the ship.

"Nete come on! We don't have much time!" You yelled pulling him along with you as you made your way off the ship.

You heard gunshots ring through your ears as you crashed into the water.

You looked over at Lo'ak and Spider cheering before turning to your mate.

You gasped at the sight of him. Blood. So much blood. He was shot.

"Lo! Neteyam's been shot!" You screamed out reaching for Neteyam and putting pressure on his wound.

The bullet had gone straight through his chest.

The moments in-between were a blur. Tsireya had managed to help you lift your mate onto the ilu and onto a rock where you had to drag him up.

You vaguely hear Lo'ak call for his father as you knelt next to Neteyam.

"Nete please don't leave me" You cried resting your hand on his cheek.

He was in pain. You could see it, feel it almost as if you were the one with a bullet hole in your chest.

"My y/n" His voice was hoarse and forced as he reached for you. He sputtered as blood began to seep out of his mouth.

By now, Jake and Neytiri arrived and were next to you as they looked down at their son. Your head was beginning to throb as the voices around you became muffled.

Neytiri's screams were coming through in waves. Not all there but enough to register.

"I want to go home" he spoke roughly as Jake tried to reassure him as much as possible.

There was nothing anyone could do at this point. Ewya had chosen his fate.

You felt a hand on your cheek as you snapped back into reality, looking down at your mate.

"I see you y/n" You let out another sob at his voice.

"Oh, Neteyam. I see you always" You spoke.

You gasped as he went rigid. His face relaxed as he let out one last ragged breath.

Oh god. There were no words to ever explain the feeling when he died. You could physically feel the bond break.

You screamed. You screamed for so long that you hadn't realized you were even doing into until Tsireya's forehead rested against yours.

"Mawey y/n, mawey" Her voice was merely a shadow at the back of your mind as you curled up next to your mate for the last time. The rest of the family had left to go finish the fight, but your fight had already been finished the moment Neteyam was laid on this rock.

You hadn't known how long you lay there with him until Lo'ak had to physically tear you away from him and carry you back to Awatulu on his ilu.

Your heart had been shattered into a million fragments that lay scattered on that rock left there with the blood that had spilled from his chest.

"I'm so sorry y/n, god I'm so sorry" You remember hearing Lo'ak whisper and feeling the ghost of a kiss on the top of your head. You winced as you fought the hurt in his voice. "It's not your fault Lo. He was so proud of you." Your voice was quiet and almost inaudible, but Lo'ak heard you and that's all that mattered.

From then on it was like being underwater. Every movement was slowed and every voice was muffled.

Neteyam had filled a hole in your heart that you didn't realize was there until it was empty.

And that hole was spreading. Spreading like a nasty wildfire that was blistering every ounce of your body, destroying everything in its wake.

The glowing forest of Pandora was dim, and the brightest of coral reefs didn't glow the same without your Neteyam.

The only emotion you felt for weeks was anger. So much anger. Anger at the sky people, at yourself for not doing enough to save him, at Ewya for taking him away, and at the boy. The stupid human boy who was alive, when your Neteyam wasn't.

The human boy knew not to come around you. For it was him who sealed the fate of Neteyam, and Ewya if you could only get ahold of him he would pay.

Jake had made sure to keep him at a distance. The anger in your now dull eyes had made the grown man shudder as you stared Spider down when he came even close to your mauri.

After anger it was nothing. Like a bottomless void. The anger had fled just as fast as it had arrived and had taken everything with it like a flood. You couldn't feel anything.

You had no appetite, no energy. All you did was sleep.

"My Jake, I am worried about y/n. I fear she does not have much longer in this state" Neytiri spoke to her husband as she glanced at you with worried eyes as you lay facing the wall of the mauri.

Jake could only nod as he swallowed down the lump in his throat.

Neytiri had been right. You could only go so long without any food or water before you had slowly began to deteriorate.

Death by heartbreak. What a beautiful way to go.

You remember being surrounded by the Sullys and the Olo'ektans family as Ronal placed a loving hand on your forehead.

"Im afraid she does not have much time." She spoke as Lo'ak turned away biting back the sob that threatened to curl up his throat.

The rest of that day consisted of all of your friends and family coming to visit. Some cried, and some just sat and talked. You barely registered that they were even there. Only humming in response and slightly nodding your head.

Hours later as Lo'ak, Kiri, Tuk, Neytiri, and Jake all surrounded you, you felt something.

For the first time in weeks you felt something.

It was her. It was Ewya.

She was so beautiful. It was like a comet. Building and building brighter until it consumed your entire being until the voices around you calling your name faded into the beautiful sounds of the forest.

Opening your eyes, you found that you were back home. In the depths of a beautiful forest, where you could smell the air that wasn't tainted with salt. You could feel the rich soil soft underneath your toes that weren't course and grainy like sand.

You were home.

"Hello, my love".

You gasped turning around to see your mate standing behind you. Healthy. Alive.

"Nete- how? How are you-" you frantically spoke as tears rushed your eyes.

He chuckled and reached for you, bringing you into his arms for the first time since that day.

"shh yawne, do not worry. We are together now. Ewya has brought us together again." He spoke softly pressing featherlight kisses all over your face kissing away the tears.

Maybe that had been the plan all along.

You should have never doubted the great mother, for she had made sure the two of you would never part again.

So the two of you stayed, together happy and healthy. So much love between the two of you due to the fear of loss.

Together for eternity.

~

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Authors note ~ please do not hate me for this lol. but I was feeling sad and thought of this idea and couldn't help myself.