#oh look a feline hero…and he’s not even French

[carpisuns]

fear him if you dare

[xhanisai]

More of ghost blanc AU PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Aightyo~! Here’s a little drabble I’ve concocted up on the spot!

~(x)~

“You’re him...aren’t you?” Marinette addressed the white figure with as much courage and bravery as she could possibly muster, clutching her purse with a white-knuckled grip. “I’ve had my suspicions for a while...but now I know...it’s you.” 

She didn’t dare to move a muscle, the darkness and quiet of the hallway in the school created an eerie atmosphere. In the beginning, it would have frightened the French-Chinese girl without a doubt; she understood the presence better now.

“...and who am I, Marinette?” His voice was soft and full of melancholy despite the smile that was plastered on his face, pale feline ears drooping. 

“You’re Chat Noir...my Chaton...from that timeline, right?”  Marinette took a small step forward, brows furrowed and sapphire eyes full of worry. “All this time...you’ve helped me in the shadows...saving me from that car accident...pushing me off that building so that I didn’t get shot...always there for me...”

Chat Blanc didn’t say anything, merely watching the girl as his body solidified more yet maintaining the ethereal look that made him seem inhuman.

“I thought I saved you...” Tears were starting to pool in her eyes and her hands reached up to cup his cheeks, hesitating to make physical contact, hovering a breath away from his skin.

“My love for you is very strong, My Lady. Not even time would stop me from aiding you,” Blanc attempted to grasp her wrists so that her hands could rest on his cheeks only for his flesh to pass through hers and it was then that the excruciating sadness in his heart mourned once more.

Marinette couldn’t stop the wet gasp that escaped her, bringing her hands back to herself and eyeing the slender digits in horror.

“Maybe...this is my punishment for what I did to you, everyone and the world.” Chat Blanc laughed brokenly, stepping away from the girl. “I’m a monster.”

“No! No you’re not! That’s not fair on you at all! You were akumatised! If anything, it was Le Papillon’s fault...it was my fault! I couldn’t help you-”

“Don’t be stupid.” His sharp tone halted her spiralling, a dangerous glint in his eyes taking her breath away. “All you ever did was make me happy...and love me! The memories that we made together was what helped me fight back the cold, lonely insanity that tried to corrupt me during my solitude in the empty world.”

“Chat Noir...” 

“It’s Chat Blanc, Marinette.” Even though his body would simply phase through hers, Blanc attempted to wipe away her tears with a finger.

“How do I save you?” Marinette’s words were no more than a breath, begging for him to be free.

“You can’t.”

“I have to...I must!”

“This is beyond your power, My Lady, Ma Princesse...” With a warm smile, an expression that mirrored her partner in black and...another boy with green eyes, Blanc brought his face towards her and brushed his lips against hers.

For a split second, she felt his lips, a human warmth, a sweet softness, only for his body to fade away for now and appear when she least expected him to.

The designer immediately sank to her knees, pressing her fingers against her lips as tears rolled down her cheeks with much more vigour and before she knew it, she broke down.

‘I failed him...I failed my Chaton again!’ Was what ricocheted in her mind like a mantra despite her little kwami’s pleas and support.

So deep into her misery, she was deaf to a familiar boy’s cries of her name and it was only when he brought her into his arms did she finally come back to the world.

“Marinette! Oh God...Marinette...” Before she knew it, Adrien brought her into a tight embrace with an iron hold, his tan fingers knotting themselves into her hair as he breathed out how relieved he was to see her again. 

“A...Adrien?” Marinette rasped, still limp in his arms, too numb to move or even treasure his warmth.

“I thought he took you away...like he threatened to do so.” The blonde teen whispered with anguish, tightening his grip on her. “No matter what I did, no matter how hard I try to keep you close, he comes closer to you!” He pulled back a little so that he could see her confused face, brushing away her fringe with a look of desperation.

“Who?” Marinette suddenly dreaded his answer.

“Listen to me Marinette, please, please, stay away from that Chat Blanc! If you see him again, come to me or Chat Noir. We have to...we WILL protect you!” The shivers on her spine started to send cold sweat down her forehead.

“What’s going on Adrien...? I thought he was just a lost spirit, finding his way?”

“Is that what he told you?”

It was then that Marinette realised she’s never asked him nor did Blanc tell her why he was here. She didn’t want to doubt him...he was her Minou for crying out loud!

“Marinette. Once upon a time, he was m- Chat Noir! But now? Now he’s not. He’s an echo of destruction...something that should NOT exist. And he wants you. I don’t know why but he won’t stop until he has you! Do you understand? You need to stay away from him!”

Adrien’s eyes showed emotions beyond desperation. His teeth clenched with determination...determination to keep her safe. His relentless hold on her never budging- as if he feared that letting her go would mean she’d leave him forever.

He reminded her of Chat Noir and at the same time, the one who called himself Chat Blanc...

“Adrien, do you trust me?” Her question shook him off guard. Adrien pursed his lips in confusion, furrowing his brows. The expression smoothed away when he spotted the fire in her eyes.

“With my life and everything.”

“Then help me help him. Please.”

.

~(x)~

That’s all for now! Who knows~? Is Ghost Blanc a hero or a villain~? Might develop this AU or make it into a short oneshot one day UwU If you want that is~

[lnc2]

tongue tied (1/?)

Summary: Chat Noir’s podcast is a viral success.

A/N: This is for @labyrinthofchaos  who wanted to see my dumbass idea fleshed out into a full story.  Thank you for being patient with me <3 I hope it was worth the wait.

AO3

It started with a black envelope on her balcony.

You’ve been cordially invited to paw-ticipate in Le PodChat…

Marinette rolled her eyes, checked the box marked No, thank you and doodled a sad kitten in the corner before resealing the envelope and leaving it tucked under one of her plants.

She knew the invitation was imminent.  Ladybug may have refused to be a part of his little side project in a permanent or official capacity but that didn’t mean that Chat Noir didn’t talk her ears off about future episodes all the same.

“Think about it, bug!  Akuma victims coming forward to share their stories– what it was like, what Hawkmoth said, how it felt when they ultimately and inevitably fell at the hands of their favorite heroes.” Here he waggled his eyebrows as he leaned forward on his baton.  “How awesome would that be?”

Ladybug smiled, pushing back her eager partner with the pad of her finger.  “I think you’ll find people are less willing to come forward about being akumatized than you anticipate, minou.  Most people would rather forget the whole thing, not broadcast it to strangers.”

“Exactly!  But think about the good it could do if we got people talking about it?” He was all hands in his excitement, frantic waving that nearly managed to catch her in the face.  “People like Chloe Bourgeois won’t be able to shame people into being reakumatized if we can just normalize the experience right?”

“But it isn’t normal, Chat.” She sighed.  “At least it shouldn’t be.”

“And we’re working on that, my lady.” He said, his voice gentle.  “I just think this might be another way to help out. Ease the emotional pressure cooker everyone is under.”

After that, there was really no arguing with him.  After all, Chat Noir wasn’t wrong and any and all help that they could provide to prevent future akuma attacks would make their jobs easier in the long run.  What had started out as a biweekly way to blow off steam quickly transformed into something Bigger. Marinette couldn’t say she was surprised– everything Chat touched seemed to spiral into more.

When he first broached the idea about starting a podcast hosted by the Ladyblogger Ladybug had laughed.  They’d brainstormed silly ideas throughout patrol only for her to realize her partner had been entirely serious.  In the end she’d capitulated to his kitten eyes on the condition that this was his thing.

“I have enough on my plate as it is, Chat.  I can’t promise to be on every episode with you.”

His eyes sparkled when he bowed over her hand.  “Any time you can spare is perfect, as always.”

What Ladybug hadn’t anticipated (although really she should have) was just how successful this particular scheme would be.  Calling Le PodChat an overnight sensation did a disservice to how quickly the premier episode managed to crash the Ladyblog’s servers.

Alya was over the moon.

“I don’t know whose ass I kissed in a past life to get this lucky but you won’t find any regrets here.” She squealed the following day at school.  “How many journalists can say they have literal superheroes dropping by on a semi-weekly basis to shoot the shit? Nadja Chamack  wishes  she had so much exposure.”

That much at least was true.  She’d heard it from the cat himself who had been more than a little frazzled by how much attention his little side project generated.  That evening on patrol he’d been a nervous, twitching agitated wreck as not one but  two  news outlets had reached out offering to be the “legitimate” homes for the podcast.

“I’d never move it of course,” He said, tail waving with his hands as Ladybug watched him in amusement. “I couldn’t do that to Alya. But the fact that they even offered…!”

It was his good-natured nervous Q&A on the fourth episode that ultimately brought her aboard.

  “Okay, last one.” Alya said, clearing her throat. “Cattheclysm87 wants to know, are you guys always Ladybug and Chat Noir or do you have lives outside of the mask?”

There was a pause, longer than the previous ones.  Chat Noir tapped his claws against a hard surface.

“Chat?” Alya prompted.  He laughed and Ladybug could practically see him shaking his head.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about what my lady would say.  What she’d  want  me to say.”

“And?”

Chat Noir sighed.  “Probably something about keeping our identities a secret.  And something about how our lives outside the mask are something that makes Paris worth protecting.”

“Do you agree?”

“Naturally.” He said.  Even if she couldn’t hear it in his voice, Ladybug knew he was shrugging here. “But I think my life inside the mask is just as important to me.  Some days even moreso.”

Alya pressed him.  “Oh?”

If she hoped to glean more however Chat Noir wasn’t going to cooperate.  At least not today.

“Of course!  I don’t know of anyone in Paris who wouldn’t give their left foot to spend time with Ladybug.”

Alya laughed. “She can come by and collect mine any time.  I’ll be waiting.”

 Ladybug’s first appearance on Le PodChat the following week landed them at #1 on French Twitter’s trending topics something that she regretted almost immediately when #ladynoir hit #3.

  “Good luck beating cataclysm with a fork.” Chat Noir’s sneered.

Ladybug laughed. “If you don’t think I could fork you up you have another thing coming.”

“I’m just saying, my lady.  There’s not much good your lucky charm can do if it’s in ashes.”

“And  I’m just saying it will be pretty hard for you to destroy anything when I’ve got you all tied up.”

He leaned forward and grinned. “Is that a promise?”

 Alya had been insufferable for weeks after that.

“God can’t they just date already?”

Her frustrated wails were muffled by her pillow but Marinette heard the familiar lament all too well. She rolled her eyes and continued fidgeting with her sewing machine.  At this point she knew it was a waste of breath to point out that no matter how often Chat Noir flirted with Ladybug there was nothing at all romantic between Paris’ superheroes.  Her best friend had shipping goggles and nothing Ladybug  or  Marinette could say about it would dissuade her otherwise.

“Like, seriously,” Alya continued, propping her chin up with her elbow and waving frantically with her free hand.  “The UST between them is just unbearable.”

“Then why do you bear it?”

Marinette’s dry remark was met with a pillow thrown to the back of her head.  She turned and scowled at her best friend who scowled right back.

“The only thing worse than witnessing their obliviousness would be not being able to see it at all.”

She giggled. “Of course.”

Alya ignored her.  “Besides, Le PodChat is fucking killing it in ratings.  The Ladyblog hasn’t seen this much traffic since I posted that picture of them kissing after Nino and I were akumatized.”

Marinette valiantly squashed her waspish retort at  that  reminder and said, “Activity has been pretty high lately.”

“Try  astronomical.” Alya shot her a sly smile.  “And just imagine, you could be a part of it all.”

Marinette groaned.

She knew this was coming.  After she’d rejected Chat Noir’s invitation to come on the show and talk about her experience working with “Paris’ Best and Bravest” during Nathaniel’s akumatization, her partner had been a cauldron bubbling with curiosity.

“Why do you think she said no?” He’d asked Ladybug on patrols, after akuma attacks, before one of her occasional drop ins on the podcast recordings.

Ladybug could only shrug.  “Maybe she’s shy.”

Alya laughed.  “Nah, there’s only one thing in this world that Marinette’s shy about and public speaking isn’t it.”

“Oh?” Chat said, looking ready to dive into what Ladybug knew would be a too revealing conversation.  Fortunately Alya didn’t take the bait and merely waved him off.

“Don’t worry about it.  I’ll get her to agree.”

Silently, Ladybug laughed.

Because if there was one thing Marinette Dupain-Cheng was not going to do it was agree to be a guest on her crime-fighting partner’s internet radio show.  Not when her alter ego was also a frequent guest on said podcast. She didn’t know how much of her identity was protected by the miraculous but she wasn’t willing to test it to appease Chat Noir’s whims.

It would only take one perceptive binge listener (or an overly eager feline partner) to notice that Ladybug and Marinette’s voices  sure do sound alike …

Pfft.  Yeah, no.

“Not gonna happen, Als.”

“But whyyyyyyy,” Alya whined, sitting up from her prone position on the chaise to shoot her best friend her patented puppy dog eyes.  They were nearly as devastating as Chat Noir’s. Marinette was unmoved.

“I’m not embarrassing Nathaniel like that.”

She pouted.  “But he’s with Marc now.  I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”

“Even if he said he didn’t, the answer is no.”

Thankfully Alya knew when to drop the subject.  

Unfortunately for Marinette, 

Chat Noir did not.

[thewritewolf]

Shipping Wars Chapter 3 - Ladynoir

Ladybug is in the news again - but this time with her partner, Chat Noir. Will this be what finally sinks Tom’s favorite ship...?

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 (Final)

Enjoy!

Read on Ao3

Sabine was not a regular visitor of the Ladyblog, despite it being her daughter’s best friend’s biggest passion at the moment. Between the news and Alya’s excited rants while she was over, Sabine felt that she had the gist of what the Ladyblog could offer already. But now? With this little feud with Tom escalating? She could use all the ammunition she could get.

Which is when she saw the latest pictures.

Normally, Sabine wasn’t one to give much thought to gossip. So when she had been hearing that Ladybug and Chat Noir had suddenly gotten much closer, wearing their affection for each other on their sleeves, Sabine had simply rolled her eyes and considered it to be too good to be true.

But then the Ladyblog got the pictures to prove all those rumors. They were a little grainy, of course, and it was at night, but that was when Ladybug and Chat Noir were most active. Outside of akuma battles, at least. Even with all that, it was very clearly Ladybug and Chat Noir, very clearly sharing a tender kiss on a rooftop.

“Oh, Tom?” She called with a falsely sweet voice. “What do you think about this?” She held out the tablet that had the picture zoomed in to fill the entire screen. Tom paused in his baking to look at it curiously before his eyes widened in horror.

“No! That- You saw how Adrien and Ladybug were looking at each other! What could have possibly changed between now and then?!”

“I don’t know, love. Clearly Ladybug must have realized her feelings for her partner somehow.” She planted a kiss on Tom’s astonished face. “But after Adrien - the poor boy - sees this, he’ll realize it’s better to date someone who he actually knows the name of.”

Tom sat down and sighed. “Poor Marinette… She’ll be crushed when she sees Chat Noir kissing Ladybug.”

Sabine’s smile froze. She wanted to say that it wasn’t true, but Marinette had undeniably been talking more about Chat Noir recently. And not just the usual praises that most people did, but practically fawning over him. Including getting very defensive on his behalf. Sabine wasn’t sure where this sudden burst was coming from, but if Tom was right… and it did mean that she was fostering feelings for the feline hero…

“Hi, papa! Hi, maman!” Marinette twirled into the room, grabbing an apple out of the basket and giving a kiss to each of their cheeks. She hummed happily to herself as she started cutting the apple into quarters.

Sabine’s heart clenched - her daughter looked so happy. It was very likely that hadn’t even heard the news yet. How, she didn’t know. If anything, Sabine was at least sure Alya would have been gushing about it.

“Sweetie… have you heard about Chat Noir?” Sabine’s heart clenched when she saw Marinette’s face light up in joy before she quickly hid it. It was brief, but Sabine knew what she saw there. Happiness. Affection. Love. No question about it then - not only did she have some feelings for the hero, she’d heard about him and Ladybug.

“Chat Noir? What about him?” She asked it with such innocence, but Sabine was sure she wasn’t just imagining the anguish broiling just under the surface.

Taking her daughter into a hug, she whispered, “That’s right, dear. What about him. You’ll be just fine without him.”

She let go, Marinette looking more confused than ever as she glanced between her parents and shambled back up the stairs into her room.

“Poor girl,” Tom said. “Did you see the look she gave the moment you mentioned Chat Noir? She still holds a candle for him, I’d bet my whole stock of baguettes on it.” As a French baker, that was quite the large gamble indeed.

“I know.” Sabine looked down at the Ladybug and Chat Noir picture she had been so smugly proud of a few minutes ago. She felt a little ashamed now as she closed out of it and turned the device off.

“Amazing though,” Tom said with a sigh. “She’s holding together really well, given what we know she has to be going through.”

“I wish we could do something for her.”

“We’ll be here for her. That’ll have to be enough.” Tom got back to baking. “At least until she confesses to Adrien, I suppose.”

“Sooner rather than later, I hope.”

[providentially-demonic]

Miraculous Mystery Skulls

First Arc: a Spellcaster, a Ghost and a Mechanic walk into a bar Paris

Summary: On their honeymoon in Paris, the City of Lights, the trio of Vivi, Lewis and Arthur encounter more than sightseeing... in the form of monsters, supervillains and a pair of teen superheroes. Sometimes, miraculous things can happen, when you least expect it.

(A Mystery Skulls/Miraculous Ladybug crossover event)

A/N: This all started with this fic by @phantoms-lair and the silly idea of them running into Chat Noir and Ladybug while there. It grew...

It’s a tale of heroes, miraculous, found family and more (with a healthy dose of puns). Co-created and written with assistance from @phantoms-lair, so she deserves some of the credit and a lot of the blame! :P

Chapter One: Strays on the Balcony

"Mmmnn?" Arthur stirred from sleep, aware that something was different.  Lewis was warm beside him, but holding himself absolutely still, head cocked as if listening to something. There was an absence on his other side, cool sheets indicating that they has been vacant a while.

Lewis laid a finger across his lips and inclined his head toward the balcony doors of their hotel room.  There were voices out there and only one of them was Vivi's.

Arthur strained to hear, but it wasn't until Lewis gently cupped the side of his face, fingers too warm against his skin, that he could hear clearly. Lewis must have had a deadbeat eavesdropping, and was channeling it to him through his touch.

" — not safe here, ma'am." The voice was young but spoke perfect English, though accented in a way that said it was not their first language.

Another voice, feminine and equally as young, spoke in French. Through Lewis, he could get a sense of the words.  "Something doesn't feel right about this. It doesn't quite feel like an—” Arthur could not understand the last word and knew it wasn't one Lewis knew either.

The first voice replied in French. "It doesn't smell like one either, but it's weird. Not— not human. It smells like a fire, almost. But one with something cooking on it. But it doesn't smell at all like—”

Vivi had obviously had enough of a conversation she could only partially understand. "I think you should tell me what you think is going on to bring a cat burglar and a— a spotted fire hydrant to my hotel room at this hour.  And preferably before my husbands wake up."

"What did she just call me—?!" The feminine voice scaled up a notch. "And are you sure she even speaks English right, because it sounds like she's uses the wrong possessive. A plural one!"

"Milady, calm down." The first voice entreated.

"Waiting for an explanation," Vivi said, her tone just this side of icy.

Arthur figured he should try and defuse the situation. He rose from the bed, Lewis getting up with him and donning his sunglasses.

Clad only in sleep pants and a white t-shirt (sloppily knotted over the stump of his left shoulder), Arthur padded to the balcony doors. Lewis remained behind him, a hand on his scarred shoulder. It was both support and a way for Arthur to know what was being said. He appreciated Lewis's thoughtfulness.

He stepped through the gauzy curtains and into the cool night air. Vivi, clad in a hotel bathrobe over her sleep shorts, had her hands on her hips and an annoyed expression. She was confronting— well, Arthur wasn't sure who they were supposed to be, besides awfully young to be perched on the balcony railing at half past two.

The boy, with a tumble of unruly blond hair, was dressed in a very feline themed black suit that looked like leather but was clearly not, and crouching on the rail with deceptive ease. Beside him was a girl, all in red with numerous black spots. Her hair was pulled back into two ponytails and she was staring at Vivi with a mutinous expression. Both were masked with half masks and the boy held a baton in clawed gloves. The girl didn't appear to be armed but Arthur had his doubts about that.

"Vivi?" Arthur kept his tone light. "Who are your guests?"

Vivi's grin was sharp as glass. "I found a couple of strays."

"Vivi," Lewis's expression was one of mild curiosity, and even the rebuke barely qualified as one.

Vivi's cheeks puffed out in a frustrated sigh. "Dipped if I know. They popped up when I wandered out for a breath of fresh air and only one of them speaks English. He's been going on about us being in danger."

~~~~~

“We believe we sense an akuma in here, and we need to purify it,” Chat explained in English.

It was like a switch flipped, the blue woman went from confused to aggressive. Chat was fairly certain she'd been empty-handed, but suddenly there was a frost-tinged baseball bat in her hands. "You can't have him," she hissed.

Ladybug and Chat leapt back, Ladybug shooting out her yoyo to try and pull the bat out of her hands. In response the large man seemed to suddenly to catch fire, especially his hair and hands.

"Their weapons are magic, Arthur! Stay back!" The lady called out, and the one armed blond took a step back, but seemed unwilling to leave.

Chat looked over the fiery guy. He was obviously the akumatized one, but there was no obvious weapon for the akuma to be hiding in. The most likely thing would be the golden heart he wore prominently, so that what he was aiming for. His lady was tied up with the bat lady, so it was up to him.

~~~~

Arthur felt his heart jump into his throat when he saw the presumably magical claws aiming for Lewis's anchor. He dashed back into the room, looking for something— anything—  he could use as a weapon. His eyes fell on a screwdriver he was using for some arm repairs and he grabbed it, not noticing the dark butterfly that landed on the screwdriver as he did.

Your lovers need protecting. I will give you the power to save them, Loose Screw, and all you have to do is bring me Ladybug and Chat Noir's Miraculouses.

~~~~

"Get the fuck out of my head!"

The battle on the balcony froze at the cry. Lewis and Vivi rushed into the room, with Chat Noir and Ladybug right on their heels. Arthur was clutching a darkly glowing screwdriver, the Hawkmoth mask around his face. However, rather than transforming, he was thrashing around, shouting obscenities at the voice in his head.

"He's fighting it off." Chat Noir said in wonder. He'd never seen anyone fight off Hawkmoth.

"He can't fight forever," Ladybug said grimly. "We need to get to the screwdriver."

"Artie, hold on." Lewis grabbed Arthur when he started banging his head against the wall and hugged him tightly to keeping him from hurting himself.

"The akuma's in the screwdriver," Chat said in English. "We need to break it so Ladybug can purify it."

Vivi shot him a suspicious look, but turned to Lewis. "Hold his arm out so the screwdriver's extended."

Lewis did so and Vivi brought up her bat, frost gathering on the edge, and slammed it down. The screwdriver shattered with a release of dark power and a butterfly oozing corruption fluttered out. Ladybug snapped it up as Arthur slumped over, no longer fighting the possession.

"Did I hurt anyone?" Arthur asked weakly.

"No, you fought it off completely. I've never seen anyone fight off an akuma before." Chat explained.

"That was what you called an akuma?" Vivi asked.

"It's what an akuma is, a butterfly tainted by Hawkmoth and used to turn people into monsters."

"Oh," Vivi bit her lip. "In Japan it means something different..."

~~~~

"Bye bye, little butterfly," Ladybug said softly, releasing the purified butterfly.

"It's looks like there's been a bit of a linguistic misunderstanding." Chat said softly.

"But your English is nearly perfect." She was honestly impressed that the carefree Chat was so fluent in a second language.

"Not English, Japanese." he explained. "In Japan 'Akuma' means a fire spirit, in particular one with fiery hair and eyes," They looked at the large glowing-eyed figure whose hair was still flickering. "When I said we were here to purify one, she thought I was saying we were here to exterminate her husband."

~~~~

Arthur sagged to the floor, his legs too shaky to hold him. Lewis knelt with him, still cradling Arthur’s shoulders.

Vivi rushed over. "Arthur!"

He dredged up a smile for her. " ’M okay, Vi. Just shaken up. That was—”

Vivi squished him to her in a tight hug. "You fought it off, love. You did great."

The cat-suited boy dropped into an easy crouch. "Forgive the misunderstandings. I'm called Chat Noir. My lady, Ladybug, and I defend Paris from a villain called Hawkmoth. The Akuma are his. He manipulates people with them, as he attempted to do just now." He explained in English.

Vivi only glanced at him, most of her attention on Arthur.

"To be honest, we have never seen anyone fight off his Akuma so successfully. He manipulates his victim’s emotions with them." Chat waved a hand at the restored screwdriver. "Each victim has a focus item that must be destroyed, and the Akuma in it must be purified."

Vivi shuddered. "Linguistic misunderstanding or not, hearing that makes my skin crawl." She gripped one of Lewis's hands, her other arm still tucking Arthur against her chest, and turned her attention fully to Chat Noir. "If he ever comes near my boys again, he'll be the deadest villain in Paris. He thinks he can interrupt our honeymoon without having his ass kicked into next week—!”

Arthur patted her hand where it gripped his shirt. "Easy, tiger.”

Vivi was having exactly none of it. “No. Not only did he screw up our honeymoon, but— but he tried to—”

“But he didn’t,” Arthur reminded her gently. “You guys—” He lifted his eyes to the two superhero youths. “All of you, stopped him before—”

“Don’t dismiss your own part in this,” Chat Noir interrupted. “You fought his influence off, and that’s no easy thing.”

Arthur shuddered, his skin crawling. “I— I was possessed before, once, and—” His hand came up to clutch his shoulder and his breath caught in his throat.

“Breathe, Arthur,” Lewis chided softly, pulling Arthur’s hand away from his shoulder. “Deep breaths.”

“Let’s just say something bad happened,” Vivi finished grimly, resting her hand on Arthur’s chest, just over his heart.

It took Arthur a moment to compose himself. “I wasn’t going to let that happen again. I— I would have—” His eye fell on the screwdriver lying on the floor and his skin prickled with goosebumps.

“And this Hawkmoth would be nothing but a greasy burn mark if you had.” Lewis picked up the screwdriver and stuffed it in a pocket.

Arthur relaxed a little.

"I think we should talk." Vivi looked up. "No one with that kind of ability should be terrorizing an entire city. And he just earned himself a couple of implacable enemies with tonight's trick."

"I understand, but you don't have Miraculous to battle him. It requires Milady's miraculous to purify his—” Chat Noir cast a glance at Lewis and amended himself. "To banish his influence from those he has Akumatized."

Vivi snorted. "We're not exactly without weapons ourselves, as you have seen."

Arthur made an ugly sound, partially laughter and part something he didn't want to name, even to himself. "Speak for yourself. " He gestured at his shoulder. "I'm kinda unarmed."

Chat's eyes widened and he stifled surprised laughter.

The girl looked a little annoyed and she muttered something that sounded uncomplimentary, but without Lewis concentrating on him Arthur didn’t understand her.

Vivi made a displeased sound. “Okay, this is getting old. We need to talk, and relying on translation is taking up time I think would be better spent elsewhere.” She pointed imperiously at the table and chairs that occupied one corner of the suite. “You two sit. I gotta see if I can still remember this spell.”

The girl, Ladybug, seemed mutinous, but settled at a touch from Chat. They sat at the table while Vivi fetched the still mostly-full ice bucket and centered it on the small table. She concentrated for a moment, holding her hand over the ice. Pale frost sparkled on the air for a moment and then she lowered her hand to touch the ice. She pulled it away and nodded to Chat. “Touch the ice too, bare skin please. For as long as the ice lasts, we’ll be able to talk to each other. I gave it my knowledge of English, and you will provide the French.”

With a glance over at Ladybug, Chat peeled off one of his gloves and placed pale fingers on the ice.

Vivi nodded at Ladybug. “Say something, please. I want to make sure it worked.”

“I’ve never heard of magic like that.” Ladybug exclaimed. “Wait, I understood everything you said!” She leaned forward to squint at the ice. “How did you do that?”

Vivi chuckled. “A basic translation spell, using the ice as a medium. Ice works best for me, though my teacher uses fire.”

With Lewis’s help, Arthur dragged himself back to his feet, moving to take a seat at the table. “Well, that makes things a bit easier. Thanks, Vi.” He leaned over to give her a brief kiss.

Ladybug glanced between them. “So your English wasn’t messed up! You really are married... to both of them?”

“We are,” Arthur answered. “All three of us together, though the papers are only between Vivi and I since it’s hard to get a marriage license for a ghost.”

Ladybug’s eyes went wide and she leaned as far back in her chair as she could. “G-ghost?”

Lewis sighed and let his human shape go, reverting to the skeletal form that had been his for the past three years. “Boo.”

Ladybug eeped and her chair would have gone over backwards if Chat had not steadied it. She drew her knees up in front of her chest. “A ghost,” she repeated. “I—”

Arthur managed a dry chuckle. “Believe me, he’s spectral. I’d say he—”

Lewis clapped a bony hand over his mouth. “Arthur, I swear, if you say the ghost with the most one more time—”

“I was going to say hauntingly handsome.” Arthur grinned obnoxiously. It felt good to be able to tease Lewis, to chase away some of the cold dread the feeling of the attempted possession had left behind.

Chat burst out in laughter, earning a half-dismayed look from Ladybug. “Don't you dare!” She flailed her hands in a desperate attempt to keep him quiet.

“Milady, I would never ghoul so low. Such accusations haunt me.” Chat's grin was puckishly delighted.

“Arrrggghhh!” Ladybug buried her face in her hands.

Vivi covered her mouth to stifle an unbecoming snort of laughter.  "Oh my God, Arthur, why didn't you tell me there were two of you?"

Arthur raised an amused eyebrow.  "You know very well that there's only one of me. But he has a fine turn of proper punsmanship."

Ladybug groaned. "I should've stayed in bed..."

"Speaking of bed," Lewis added, resuming his human guise.  "Forgive me if this seems out of place to ask, but how old are you? You seem awful young for this."

"Being a hero knows no age," Chat Noir struck a pose in his chair.

Beside him, Ladybug rolled her eyes at his antics but answered with frank honesty.  "It's not really a matter of choice. My miraculous is the only thing that can undo Hawkmoth's manipulations. Chat can battle the Akumatized people, but he can't undo what happens; can't purify the effects of Hawkmoth's Akuma."

"So you're kids," Vivi's tone was cold and flat. "This Hawkmoth has a lot to answer for."

"It— the miraculous came to us. That had nothing to do with him," Ladybug was flustered. "My kwami bonded with me. I care for her."

Arthur rose to his feet, but only moved so far as to crouch between Ladybug and Chat Noir's chairs. "We're not saying you don't, and there's nothing wrong with that. But—  If Hawkmoth weren't here, you wouldn't have had to step up and fight him, kwami or not. That he has to answer for."

Ladybug chewed on her lower lip, but couldn't meet his eyes.

Chat Noir made a sort of growling sound in the back of his throat. "I don't care that I have to battle with Hawkmoth's Akuma, I'm not giving up my miraculous or my freedom."

"Chat?" Ladybug turned to him. "What? You never—”

Chat looked like a guilty cat, his black ears canted back and flattened a bit. "It's nothing, Milady. Pretend you never heard that."

It was clear from her expression Ladybug would not forget his words anytime soon, and frankly, Arthur had his doubts that any of them would let that slip go unnoticed. Vivi's storm-cloud eyes had darkened and her lips were pressed into a thin line. Lewis looked like he was contemplating whether to serve Hawkmoth en flambé or very, very extra crispy.

Ladybug chewed the corner of her lip again, and then cautiously rested her hand on Chat Noir's arm. He jumped a little and then patted her fingers gently.

Vivi puffed out her cheeks with a sigh. "I'm gonna let it go for now, but you can be sure we're gonna talk more about this age thing once we've done something about Hawkmunch."

Ladybug drew her hand back and glanced up at Vivi.  "Why do you want to help so much? Sure, he attacked your— your husband, but he's free now."

Lewis leaned forward in his chair, his dark sclera making his gaze even more penetrating. "But things could have been worse... have been worse. It's not just that he attacked Arthur, though we don't forgive that easily, it's that he's doing this to others, over and over. And he won't stop until we— all of us— find a way to stop him."

A pensive expression crossed Ladybug's face and she looked back at Chat Noir. "Can the two of us speak privately for just a moment. Just for a few minutes, I swear. It's kinda important."

Vivi didn't look pleased, but assented with a nod. "Don't try to cut us out of this, though. You need our help. And I'd rather we work as a team than be at odds." She gestured toward the bedroom of the suite.

~~~~

Ladybug closed the door behind them and leaned against it with a heavy sigh.

"Milady?"

She pursed her lips and took in the bedroom. There was a folded dividing screen by the wardrobe and she hurried over to extend it. "We really need our kwami's advice on this, so that means we'll have to unmask. I'll be behind this with you on the other side. I'm going to trust that you won't peek and you'll have to do the same."

Chat's usual smirk dropped away. "I would trust you with my identity and more."

"I know, but let's keep our secrets for now."

She retreated behind the screen and took a deep breath. "Tikki, spots off." Her costume vanished and Tikki swirled into existence by her shoulder.

On the other side of the screen she heard Chat command, "Plagg, claws in."

She waited a few seconds before speaking. "Tikki, I know you two heard everything. We need your help. What do you think of them... and their offer of help?"

She heard a grumble from the other side of the screen and then, "What is it with you two? Jeez. They want to help, and frankly at least two of them are powerful enough to give Hawkmoth real problems. So why not let them?"

"Plagg," Tikki scolded.

"What? You're the trusting one here. What do your instincts say? I can't be the only one who thinks this is a good thing!"

Ladybug had to admit her kwami looked conflicted. Tikki hummed a frustrated sound and spun in a circle around her head. Ladybug offered a hand and Tikki settled into her palm with another grumble. "I don't know," she said at last. "In— in all our history, we've only ever looked to the other miraculous bearers to aid us. But now, one of us is held by the enemy and forced to act against his nature, and no matter what we do, we haven't been able to free him."

“Tikki...”

“Listen here, bright eyes. Yeah, maybe that’s the way it’s always been, but like you said, this is a new situation. We haven’t been able to do anything the way we used to, so maybe if we have some help from new sources, we can actually do something. We could stop Hawkmoth and save his kwami.” Tears prickled behind Ladybug’s eyelids at Plagg’s impassioned declaration.

“I agree with Plagg.” Chat’s voice was firm. “Maybe it’s time to try something new, Milady.”

Tikki sighed and shook her head. “I really don’t know if this is for the best, but I’m willing to try. We’ve been stuck in this impasse with Hawkmoth for way too long and I’m worried for his kwami.”

Ladybug cuddled Tikki close to her cheek for a moment. “Then we’re agreed, all of us. Maybe they can really help us.”

“We’ll never know if we don’t try, Milady. Shall we go talk to them, see if there’s some planning to do?”

“Tikki, spots on!” When the transformation was done, Ladybug nodded firmly. “Let’s go, kitty.”

~~~~

When the door had closed behind the two costumed heroes, Lewis turned and suddenly gathered Vivi and Arthur tight against his chest.

“Ooof, Big Guy!” Arthur didn’t struggle, only looked with concern at Lewis. “What’s up? You okay there?”

“Am I okay? You— you were the one—?” Lewis squeezed tighter, at a loss for words.

Arthur sighed. “I’m okay, love. Sure it scared the piss out of me at the time, but it’s over, and now that I know his modus operandi you can bet he’ll never get a hold on me again.”  

Vivi burrowed into Arthur’s side inside Lewis’s fierce hold and growled under her breath. “Never again.”

Lewis felt a tug on his mind, one of his deadbeats. He hadn’t been paying attention to them after the attack on Arthur and he reached out to it, concerned.

Suddenly he was there, in the bedroom, looking from the perspective from behind the potted fern in the corner. The two heroes each stood on one side of the dividing screen and as he watched, they banished their disguises, becoming two teens and two small, floating creatures.

Vivi stiffened beside him. “They’re just kids!” Her voice was tight with outrage and Lewis realized he had inadvertently shared the deadbeat’s perceptions with them. ”So young!”

“Too damn young.” Arthur growled.

Lewis agreed with every word. These children were defending their city from a supervillain! He felt his hair start to flicker and tamped down hard on the rage. He wasn’t going to let himself lose control. Not again.

~~~~

Lewis was still simmering by the time the two superheroes had emerged from the conference, but at least he had gained enough control to keep his hair from going all fiery. Arthur let Lewis cling to him, both for his own peace of mind and to keep Lewis grounded.

Vivi had put on her professional mask to hide her thoughts, and she only gestured them over, "Have you come to a decision?" Her smile was all politeness and Arthur thought someone that didn't know her as well as they did would buy into it without a second thought.

Ladybug heaved a sigh. “Perhaps you are right. We— we haven't been able to truly stop him, only delay whatever his twisted plans are and clean up the messes that he causes with his Akumatized victims. So—”

“Let's lay all our cards on the table and see what we can come up with,” Vivi's smile gentled into something more real as she reseated herself. “I'll go first. My name is Vivi and I am a paranormal researcher by trade, and more recently, a spell-caster by vocation. I have an affinity for spells involving ice and cold. I also swing a seriously mean bat and occasionally a sword, so don't think I can't handle it in a brawl.”

She lifted her hand and gestured to where Lewis still stood protectively over Arthur. “These are my husbands. The big guy is Lewis, and we've already established that he's a ghost. Not the rattling chains in the basement type either. He... well, he started out as a vengeance spirit, though he's become more of a protective guardian type, due to circumstances that are way too much to go into right now. He throws a mean fireball and can burn just about anything, fireproofing or not. He also has the usual ghostly talents, vanishing, walking through walls, etcetera.”

Her lips quirked up a notch more. “His snuggle-buddy there is Arthur. He's the tech guy. Made all sorts of ghost-detecting devices from scratch and built his own prosthetic arm. He's hell on wheels with anything mechanical, and while he's not a tank, he won't back down from a fight.”

Vivi turned her attention to the two costumed youths. “I promise, give me a clue to chew on, and I can find out a heck of a lot. So tell me a little about these kwami and miraculous of yours and we'll see what I can pull out of my hat.”

Ladybug took a seat, playing absently with a piece of hotel stationary that had been left on the table. "I'm probably not the best person to tell you about kwami and miraculous. That would be Master Fu. He— he guards the miraculous."

Chat Noir made a soft sound, but when Arthur glanced over at him, he had his lips pressed firmly shut. Arthur could feel his eyebrows trying to climb into his hairline.  Some job of guarding the miraculous when there were two barely-even-teenagers battling not only someone who had one, but his monsters of the week too. Behind him, Lewis radiated anger again and Arthur knew Vivi was holding onto her professional smile tooth and nail.

"And what does he do to guard them?" Vivi asked, trying to hide how pointed a question it was. "And believe me, we'd like to talk to him too."

Ladybug bit her bottom lip. "I don't know everything, I just know he protects the rest of the miraculous. They're all hidden in a box that only he knows how to open... I think it keeps Hawkmoth from finding them."

Arthur folded his arm across his chest. "And what is he doing to teach you about what you need to know? What kind of training?" He had a sneaking feeling what the answer was, given how hesitantly Ladybug admitted how little she knew.

Chat Noir put his hand on Ladybug's shoulder and answered for her. "Not much of anything," he admitted with a tight smile that was about the farthest thing from real. "It was— kind of an urgent matter that we deal with Hawkmoth. And like Ladybug said, her miraculous is the only one that can purify his Akuma."

Arthur was pretty sure Chat was leaving out a lot, to judge by his expression. "And he hasn't given you more training since then?" Arthur asked quietly, already knowing in his heart what the answer was.

The silence from the two was telling. Ladybug’s shoulders were hunched up and Chat Noir’s ears were flattened.

"Then wouldn't it make more sense to have her trained to top form? To know everything she can do inside and out? To have a partner that can do the same?" Holding Arthur was the only thing stopping Lewis from crossing his arms. Arthur could feel the aborted movement to do just that.

"I mean, I totally agree a guy who can do custom possessions on demand is a number one top priority." Arthur added. "But because of that, those fighting him need to have every advantage at their disposal. I mean, a flame guardian, ice adept, and mechanic aren't bad advantages, but if there's more you could have, you should."

Ladybug was pensive and near to chewing her bottom lip to tatters. “I— it doesn’t feel right to confront Master Fu. He gave us our miraculouses and he helped Tikki when she was sick.”

Chat shifted position in his chair, his expression still pinched. “I’m not sure confronting him is the right word, Milady. It seems to me they have a really good point about us being rather unprepared for this. And we could use all the advantages we can get.”

Ladybug sighed, a thin whisper of defeated sound. “I— we’ll take you to see him, but it’ll have to be late evening, we— we have other— obligations during the day.”

School was the word she wasn’t saying but it was pretty clear to Arthur that was what she meant.

“We’ll meet you at the park across the street at—”

“No earlier than eight, Milady,” Chat interrupted her. “I’m stuck with— things— until then.”

“Make it eight-thirty,” she amended.

Vivi stuck out her hand. “Deal, we’ll be waiting for you then.”

Reluctantly, Ladybug shook it and pushed herself up from the table. “We should get going then. I have to be up early in the morning.”

Chat Noir also rose and swept a charming bow in Vivi’s direction. “Until then.” He followed Ladybug out to the balcony.

Behind Arthur, Lewis made a soft sound and Arthur turned to see him holding two tiny Deadbeats in one hand. “Follow them,” he whispered to them. “Keep them safe and warn us the moment anything bad happens. And stay invisible.”

The two Beats nodded and vanished.

Lewis caught Arthur’s look and shrugged. “They need someone to keep an eye on them.”

[perditaalottachocolate-blog]

Love Potion no. 2 (1)

For @purrincess-chat ‘s #miraculous spooktober, Day 1: Magic

Summary: When Chat Noir obtains a vial of love potion, there’s only one person he wants to give it to. But Adrien decides to check if it really works first, using his classmates as unsuspecting guinea pigs. As his bad luck catches up with him, he accidentally discovers that indeed the mixture seems to be effective. Only now wrong girl is in love with him.

AO3 / fanfiction

Chapters: 1 | 2 | (to be continued)

~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 1. Take a sip of my secret potion

It was raining cats and akuma that evening and Chat Noir had had enough. He was making his way home in the the darkness of the rooftops, not really thinking where he was going, when the cry for help reached his ears. Without hesitation the black clad hero adjusted his direction and headed for the source of the noise.

Soon he found it. An old woman was backed against a wall, while two muggers were going through the contents of her enormous bag.

Chat signaled the woman to be quiet and tiptoed to the two thugs.

‘Well, well. What do we have here,’ he drawled in a guttural growl.

‘AH!’ They both exclaimed and dropped the bag.

‘Jeeeez, it’s just Chat Noir,’ the taller of them said, keeping his hand on his chest and breathing heavily. ‘You scared the shit out of us, man. We’re no Akuma, you know.’

‘Pardonne moi,’ the hero bowed. ‘It’s just boring old me. I wouldn’t forgive myself if you’d come to any harm. Any. Harm. At. All.’

‘Yeah, man, it wouldn’t be good,’ the shorter one replied.

‘Indeed,’ Chat faced him, deadpanned. His eyes flickered to the old woman hunched against the wall and then returned in a stone glare to the thugs. ‘In that case may I suggest the two of you take off really, really quickly?’

‘What for?’  

‘Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you said you didn’t want to come to any harm?’ Chat quirked a brow, but the gesture was wasted because of his mask. He settled on cracking his knuckles and narrowing his eyes.

The muggers seemed to get the message instantly.

‘Right, right. It’s getting late,’ the taller one said conversationally.

‘We should get going,’ the shorter one supplied, nervously looking for a way out.

‘Now would be a very good moment to do that,’ Chat agreed. ‘Booo!’ he whispered and they fled.

The feline hero picked up the bag from the ground and handed it to the rightful owner. It was surprisingly heavy, even for such an oversized sack.

‘Here, Madame, let me help you with that,’ he offered, but the old lady shook her head and when she did, a cascade of jingles filled his ears. She was wearing a lot of loud jewelry.

The woman adjusted the shawls covering her neck and back and brushed of the dust from her ample skirt. Every piece of her attire screamed exotic.

‘Thank you, young man,’ she replied in faultless French. ‘That was really brave of you.’

Chat frowned. ‘I am a superhero, Ma’am. I eat akuma for breakfast. Those two wouldn’t have stood a chance.’

‘Really?’ the woman looked him up and down thoughtfully. ‘You’re barely a teenager. Fifteen? Ah, almost sixteen, I see.’

‘I’ll be sixteen in a few days actually,’ he mumbled, a bit confused. He wasn’t used to this sort of treatment. ‘How do you know?’

‘A sibyl needs one look and she knows your soul,’ she replied. ‘And I have been a fortune-teller for many years. Just one look and I know not only your soul, but your past and future too.’

Oh great, Chat thought. Another weirdo. Just what he needed at this time of night.

The woman scowled at him as if she could hear him thinking. ‘Never underestimate an old woman, my boy. There’s more to us than meets the eye,’ she scolded him, but there was a hint of warmth in her voice, as if she was scolding her own grandchild.

‘Now let’s see,’ she murmured under her breath reaching out for Chat’s gloved hand. He tried to pull it back, but the fortuneteller only grabbed it tighter. ‘Easy there, young man. This is the only way I can thank you for saving me and all my belongings from those two thugs’ greedy paws.’

She inspected his palm closely, running her calloused fingers over the magic material. What did she see in the darkness and with the blackness of the suit itself was beyond him, but she must have seen something because she was muttering to herself in a language Chat didn’t recognize. At last she nodded with satisfaction and returned her eyes to his.

‘You’ve been through a lot, I can see. Sudden loss, absence of something important in your life. But I see happiness too. And recent attachment,’ she patted his hand gently smirking at the sight of surprise written all over his masked face.

‘But… you do not feel complete,’ the woman mused out loud. ‘There’s something missing, something you want but can’t get.’ She closely watched him squirm under her scrutinous gaze. ‘But don’t worry, my dear. Soon you’ll earn that thing and the person you want will finally be yours. You just need to put a liiiiittle more effort, because what you want is closer than you think,’ she concluded jabbing him in the chest with a crooked finger.

‘Yeah, right,’ the sarcastic remark rolled off his tongue before he could bite it back and the woman whipped her head at him in an instant.

‘You don’t believe me, I see,’ she glared at him until he dropped his gaze to his feet and shuffled them nervously.

‘It seems you need a little help with your quest,’ the woman said after a while. ‘And I’ve got just the thing for you.’ After a quick search of her bag she fished out two tiny vials in a silver lacy bag. Chat wondered if he just imagined the edges glowing faintly in the darkness. Maybe he was tired.

‘This,’ she pointed to the red vial, ‘is Love Potion no 2, the most powerful love potion in my possession.’ She shook the container and he saw drops of pinkish-red sirup sloshing inside. ‘There’s not much of it left, but it will be more than enough for your young lady. The correct dose is one drop and the first person she sees after having that she’ll fall in love with.’

The hero could only gape at her, rendered speechless and not quite following the current turn of events.

‘This,’ she took the second vial with the transparent liquid, ‘is the antidote should you change your mind or want somebody to unlove you.’ The woman deposited the bag with the vials in Chat’s unresisting hand, and wrapped his fingers around it. ‘Keep it safe and use it wise. And always remember that love is a gift.’

The boy finally regained his voice and enough of coherent thought to know it was time to leave.

‘Thank you, Madame,’ he bowed respectfully, carefully sliding the little bag into his pocket. ‘I promise to treasure this gift.’

‘Good night, Chat Noir,’ the fortuneteller nodded with satisfaction as Chat vaulted himself back to the rooftops and headed for home. Soon he was too far to hear her mutter under her breath. ‘It would be much easier if you just looked around, you oblivious fool.’

 *************

 Adrien knew he should already be sleeping or he’ll be in trouble in the morning, but he couldn’t help it. He was sitting on his sofa and staring at the two vials on the coffee table. While they had looked enthrallingly magical in the scarce light of the evening, now he couldn't notice any trace of that strange glow. Just two ordinary petite bottles, the kind you put homemade perfume in.

Adrien felt the cool of the ring on his right hand. Just an inconspicuous silver band, serving as a disguise for a powerful magical artifact. He tapped his lower lip with his fingers and frowned for a hundred time.

‘Do you think these are for real?’

‘How would I know?’ Plagg’s voice came from somewhere between the wraps of camembert.

‘What do I do with them?’

‘Nothing, if you’re smart,’ the kwami grumbled, flying out of the most recently opened camembert box. ‘Listen kid, you’re old enough to know there’s no such thing as Santa Claus and magical potions, right?’

‘Says a black flying creature that inhabits my ring from time to time and lets me cataclysm things with my clawed hands,’ Adrien rebuffed not taking his eyes of the vials.

‘Ooooh, I know what you’re thinking,’ Plagg growled and waved a paw at his Chosen. ‘And you’d better stop right now before you come up with something stupid.���

‘And what am I thinking about, pray?’

The black cat shot him with an unimpressed look. ‘Kid, you can’t seriously think that drugging Ladybug into loving you is a good idea.’

‘You said yourself this isn’t a magic potion!’

‘Because it’s not,’ Plagg shouted back. ‘And what if it’s a hate potion and it’ll make Ladybug hate you for the rest of your lives? You got that from a total stranger, a “sibyl” nonetheless,’ he mocked. ‘And you’re really considering giving it to Ladybug?’

‘Oh,’ Adrien hadn’t thought about it like that. But when he closed his eyes in frustration his mind instantly filled with visions of his beloved heroine looking at him with oceans of affection in her bluebell eyes. Of her gaze flickering to his lips. Of her hands tugging at his wild mane. Of the warmth of her body as she wrapped her arms around his waist and smiled coyly at him, batting her treacherously long lashes. You know, his standard Ladybug-is-about-to-kiss-you dream no. 2.

And now it seemed like he finally had the means to make it happen, if months of his flirtatious efforts and heroic deeds apparently weren’t enough to get him there. But Plagg was right, that giving it to Ladybug straight away was risky. He needed to check, if it even worked.

‘Okay, I think I’m up to a little experiment before I consider giving the potion to Ladybug,’ Adrien said thoughtfully. ‘Something that could prove if it works.’

‘See, it didn’t take long to come up with something stupid,’ Plagg muttered. ‘Kid, seriously, don’t do that. You’ll only regret it.’

‘Even if my guinea pig is going to be Chloe?’ the boy let that question hang in the air and watched the black cat’s face, where his previous scowl was fighting with mischievous grin.

But soon the scowl won. ‘Tempting,’ Plagg admitted. ‘But why would you make Miss Screech more in love with you? She’s already unbearable as she is now.’

‘I was rather thinking of throwing her of my tail and hooking her up with someone else.’

The kwami perked up at that. ‘Like who?’

‘Maybe Nath? If it works on those two it’ll work on everyone,’ Adrien suggested with a sly grin that soon turned into frown of disappointment when Plagg didn’t back him up.

‘As much as I’d love to see that,’ the black cat mused, ‘I’m gonna remind you of your famous luck, or lack of thereof. Knowing you, we’ll probably end up with Chloe pursuing Alya and Nath proclaiming his undying love to Marinette again.’

Adrien suddenly felt uneasy at the thought of Nathaniel, or anyone for that matter proclaiming their love to Marinette, and the sensation surprised him. He shook that thought off. It was probably just an akuma thing. Yes. Definitely, akuma thing. Evillustrator had been rather rough on him, is all, plus he had been really worried for Marinette going out with a villain. Though he had to admit she did splendidly, for a civilian of course.

‘I still think it’s worth a try,’ he decided. ‘I already have a foolproof plan.’

‘I’m sure you do,’ Plagg rolled his eyes, feigning defeat. He immediately recognized there was no way of reasoning with Adrien in his current set of mind. Something would have to be done about it later, and the kwami reluctantly acknowledged that it would have to be done by him, if he wanted to avoid any catastrophes, or at least those more spectacular ones.

‘Great. That’s settled then,’ the boy rubbed his hands together. ‘Tomorrow we’re going to test the potion, and if everything works - as I’m sure it will - Ladynoir will set sail next patrol night!’ he announced with a dreamy smile.

Not even fifteen minutes passed and the boy was already snoring quietly, sprawled on his large bed. Judging by his mewls and whispers he was dreaming his standard Ladybug-said-she-loved-mew dream no. 4. Plagg listened for a while and when it became apparent that Adrien wasn’t likely to wake up any time soon, the kwami sneaked his way to the top desk drawer.

‘I’m getting too old for this shit,’ he complained dragging the bag with the vials with him and phasing through the front of the drawer. Soon soft clanks of glass filled the large wooden desk, while Adrien dreamt of ladybugs and kisses under full moon.

~*~*~*~*~

If you enjoy what I do, consider buying me a hot chocolate? 

 ~*~*~*~*~

Author’s Note: Hey there! I have a ton of other stories in progress so one more won't make much difference, right? This has been sitting in my WIP folder for about a year and I decided that the beginning of #miraculous spooktober is a good time to start posting it. 

I don't have a schedule right now, I write when I find time and inspiration, but know that feedback plays a very important role in that. So if you're curious and want more, let me know! Like or reblog or comment or if you’re shy just scream at me on anon in my askbox! 

[covenshadowwitch]

Miraculous Journey PT.1

Gabrielle slowly wakes up from her sleep, feeling a nudge. She looks at the older gentleman she’s sitting next to. 

“We are landing soon,” He tells her with a smile. 

“Oh, thank you,” Gabrielle smiles.

She places her seat up and puts her tray up. She looks out the window, looking at the clouds and the city that is below her. 

‘A new start.’

Gabrielle Rosalin, 14 years old, is moving to Paris to live with her older cousin and her girlfriend. Her parents thought it would be best fir the shy teenager to move in with her cousin after everything that has happened. The plane soon lands and everyone prepares to disembark the plane. There are groans and sighs from people after sitting for 15 plus hours. Once she is off the plane, Gabrielle turns airplane mode off and sees a text from her cousin Stephanie. 

‘Hey, we are by the baggage claim for the flight from JFK.’

‘KK, be there soon,’ Gabrielle replies.

Gabrielle heads towards baggage claim, she sighs hoping this will be better than her last few schools. She looks at her phone to see notifications from Facepage, she opens them to see her “friends” partying back in America. She rolls her eyes and puts her phone away as she comes up on the baggage claim. She grabs her suit case and duffel bag and looks for her cousin. Upon seeing her, Gabrielle smiles and walks up to her and her girlfriend. 

“Bonjour Gabrielle,” Stephanie, her cousin, greets with a smile. 

“Bonjour Stephanie,” Gabrielle smiles back.

“Gabrielle, this is Jasmine, my girlfriend.”

“Hi Gabrielle, it is nice to meet you. You can call me Jamie.”

“Nice to meet you too Jamie,” Gabrielle says.

“Let’s head home, Gabrielle has a big day tomorrow,” Stephanie says. 

Jamie and Gabrielle nod their heads and head off to the car, once everything is in the car they head off to the house/business. Jamie is a florist and has her own shop, Stephanie has a little corner where she sells her art and paints sometimes. Stephanie is now a painter for a children’s museum and makes good money. Also, Gabrielle’s parents’ will be sending some money for the care of the 14 year old. Once they arrive, Jamie parks the car in the back and they head up to the penthouse. They show Gabrielle around before showing her, her new room. 

“Oh. My. God!” Gabrielle gasps. 

Her new room is 3 times bigger than her old one and is in the best french style and walls are purple. She runs around looking at her reading/writing/drawing area, desk/loft bed and so much more. She squeals and smiles. 

“Like it?” Stephanie snickers.

“Like it? I love it!” Gabrielle exclaims. 

“Well, we will leave you to unpack,” Jamie says. “We will call you when dinner is ready.” 

Gabrielle nods and begins to unpack her clothes, shoes, books, journals and so much more. While she is unpacking, Gabrielle is listening to a French podcast that teaches the language. It has been going well since her mother taught her some French and she took it back in America for a few years. When she is done unpacking, Jamie calls her to dinner. Jamie explains the school, College Francoise Dupont, and how everything works. Gabrielle nods and soon showers and goes to bed, praying for a better life. 

-----------At the school---------------

Gabrielle grips her journal close to her chest, fear flowing through her body. What if she doesn’t make friends? What if....it happens again? She takes a deep breath and heads to the principle’s office to get her schedule. He tells her that she can always come to his office if she ever needs help, even with the littlest thing. Gabrielle nods and heads off to her first class, her heart sinks when all eyes look at her when she opens the door.

“Everyone, this is the new student that I informed you about,” Miss Bustier tells the class with cheer. “Please tell everyone your name.” 

Gabrielle walks up to the front and looks at everyone, a slight blush on her face. 

“Ah, I.....I’m Gabrielle Rosalin,” Gabrielle says shyly. 

“Gabrielle transferred from America,” Miss Bustier tells the class, “Please welcome her and help her adjust to her new home.”

Everyone says hello and tells her their names, she smiles back at everyone as she moves her bangs behind her ear.

“Why don’t you go to the back, behind Kim and Max,” Miss Bustier tells her. 

“Um....actually...it is hard for me to focus when I...sit in the back,” Gabrielle tells Miss Bustier.

“I see, Chloe, please move to the back.”

“Say what!?” Chloe yells.

Miss Bustier just gives her a look and Chloe growls as she snaps her fingers. Sabrina begins to gather both of their belongings to move to the back.

“Just Chloe,” Miss Bustier tells them. 

“But I need-!” Chloe starts.

“Just Chloe,” Miss Bustier repeats. 

Chloe glares at Gabrielle as she grabs her things and sits in the back alone. Gabrielle takes her seat next to Sabrina, she gives her a smile and they both focus on the board. They are all given partner work, Sabrina is surprised that Gabrielle actually helps her on the work and knows a lot about Edger Allen Poe. As the class goes on, the alarm goes off and everyone begins to hide, leaving a confused Gabrielle. Sabrina and Kim grab her and they hide. 

“What is going on?” Gabrielle questions. 

“An Akuma!” Mylene tells her. 

“Akuma?” Gabrielle says confused. 

Alya goes to grab Nino but instead grabs Gabrielle’s arm and pulls her to help her record the fight. Gabrielle follows her, with no choice, with a confused look on her face. 

“Nino! Isn’t this amazing!” Alya asks as she records Chat Noir and Ladybug fight the akuma. 

“I guess it is, but I’m not Nino,” Gabrielle says making Alya look at her in shock.

“Oh my god! I am so sor-”

“Alya! Move!” Gabrielle yells, tacking the blogger to the ground as the Akuma’s attack just misses them. 

“You two should get out of here!” Chat Noir yells to them.

“But my blog!” Alya argues. 

“Alya, he is right,” Gabrielle says, grabbing the broken street sign. “It is not safe here.” 

“I need the footage!” Alya defends. 

“Then get behind the dang car!” Gabrielle yells. 

“Gabrielle! Look out!” Ladybug calls. 

Gabrielle looks up to see the Akuma coming at her pretty fast, she gulps but soon holds the sign like a bat. When he is closer, she swings the sign and hits the Akuma in the side, making him hit the ground to the left of her. Ladybug and Chat Noir use this to take his hat and destroys it to let the butterfly free. Ladybug purifies it and fixes all of the damage. 

“Pound it,” Chat and Lady say, fist bumping. 

“Gabrielle....that was amazing!” Alya says, running to her friend. “You have a mean swing! I am so happy I got that on camera!” 

Gabrielle nervously laughs as the two heroes walk up to the two, Alya immediately asks them questions as she records. They answer vaguely before turning to Gabrielle. 

“We want to thank you for helping us in the battle,” Ladybug says. “That was a good hit you did and it certainly helped us get the hat the akuma was in.”

“Oh! Y-you’re welcome Ladybug,” Gabrielle blushes. 

“It was certainly amazing to see a citizen help us and others,” Chat Noir says, kissing Gabrielle’s hand. “It was nice to meet you purrincess.”

Gabrielle blushes more, unable to speak as the heroes take off. Alya smirks as she goes up to her, her phone still up and recording.

“Oh~ What was that? Does my American friend have a crush on a certain Feline hero?” Alya teases.

“N-no! I just met him Alya!” Gabrielle argues. “Please stop recording!” 

Alya laughs as she stops recording, the two laugh and talk as they return to the school despite it being over thanks to the attack. 

Gabrielle smiles more as Sabrina asks her to hang out so they can get to know one another more and she can help Gabrielle catch up on the work. Things are finally looking up for her!

[siderealscribblings]

Every Ladynoir Fic Ever (for Bullysquadess)

Happy Birthday @bullysquadess ! Thanks to you I’ve been sucked into this fandom and achieved minor internet infamy. Please enjoy this finely roasted Ladynoir in honor of your name day.

Disclaimer: This is a work of parody aimed at overall fandom trends and not at any one author or story. None of this is meant as a personal attack on anyone; just a sporking of common Ladynoir fandom tropes.

Please enjoy.

The cerulean skies above Paris’ venerable and antediluvian streets gave way into a rich mauve tinged with the auburn hues of a dying day. On the streets below, Parisians came and went, unaware that the most romantic act in the history of the cosmos was being prepared not three stories above them.

“And we all say

"Oh, well I never, was there ever

A cat so clever as magical

Mr. Mistoffelees"

Humming a jaunty cat-like song to himself (AN: get it? It’s because he’s a cat), Chat Noir went about lighting each of the two thousand one hundred and sixty two candles strewn about the rooftop; one for every hour he knew and loved the most wonderful, sublime, perfect, flawless, radiant, resplendent, exalted, magnificent, regal, truncular, and ethereal girl in all of Paris.

Nay, all the world!

Such was his love that he converted the rooftop retreat where they were to meet for their Nightly Evening Patrol into a lush, romantic scene out of Kenneth Branagh’s wettest Shakespearean dream. Laurels and ivy hung from every corner of the confused tenant’s roof. A record player played a suave Edith Pilaf song (AN: because they’re French) as celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck prepared a delightful evening meal for Paris’ greatest heroes- prime roasted rib, herbed potatoes, and garden salad for the Lady, and half-cup of Friskies “Friend-Zone” mix for the gent.

Chat may have spent upwards of eighteen thousand euro on his little surprise, but it was money well spent. After all, it was the three-week anniversary of the first time Ladybug accidentally spat on him when trying to dislodge a fabulous booger from her perfect nostrils! Such an occasion demanded splendor the likes of which Paris had never seen before. The rooftop scene before him made Versailles look like a dilapidated crack den full of sentient cockroaches, but still it wasn’t enough for his Lady, his partner, his love, his star, his treasure, his catnip (AN: get it? it’s because he’s like…a cat and stuff) his everything, his-

“Whats up ass clown?” Ladybug greeted, swinging onto the rooftop and shattering the intricate four thousand euro Ladybug ice sculpture centerpiece like it was Chat’s heart.

“Dinner is ser-AUGH!” Wolfgang Puck cried as Ladybug pushed him off the roof and into an open dumpster on the street below.

“What the hell is all this supposed to be?” Ladybug sneered at the wall of origami butterflies Chat had painstakingly folded over the course of the last seven months.

“Oh, w-well those are just origami butterflies to represent all of the akumas we fought together as a-”

“Ugh,” Ladybug groaned, blowing a raspberry and using a nearby candelabra to light the origami wall on fire. “Gross.”

Chat’s ears drooped like a kitten that had been caught pissing in the houseplant. “But...I thought we could have a fun dinner together.”

A vein in Ladybug’s forehead bulged as she drew a paper fan from nowhere and bashed Chat across the nose. “Ughh!  We don’t have time for fun! We have a serious and sacred duty to defend the people of this city! There is no time for fun!”

With that, Ladybug upended the beautifully carved table that Chat had spent ten years working on over the edge of the building and on to Wolfgang Puck’s head as he attempted to crawl to safety.

“Vamoose!” Ladybug cried, latching her yo-yo on to a nearby lamppost and swinging across the street.

Chat let a single tear roll out of his emerald green orbs which he quickly captured in a small glass phial so his father could use it in his Eau de Puss line of cologne. Ladybug never, ever, ever had time for anything other than straightlaced business and if it weren’t for the fact that they were supposed to be partners, she would have probably lit him on fire and tossed him in an open sewer drain by now. He would have deserved it, of course; his perfect, flawless, effervescent, stalwart, gladiator goddess of a Lady could have singlehandedly ended crime and cured cancer without his help at all, and his continued presence in her life was as a cancerous zit marring the face of perfection.

But oh; oh! How he loved her! Even with the constant battery, verbal abuse, and veiled death threats she hurled at him every time she opened her mouth, he was one smitten kitten!

“Oi, Simba!” Ladybug called from two rooftops over. “You have ten seconds to catch up and then I’m beating the everloving shit out of you!”

Yowling, Chat Noir scampered on all fours across the rooftops, landing with a pirouette behind Ladybug as she glared hard-boiledly across their city.

“So, m’lady, shall we take a swing along the Seine before heading to the Eifel Tower to close off the evening?” Chat Noir said hopefully, passing her a basket of food he saved from her wrath.

“Ughh,” Ladybug groaned, rolling her eyes. “Why is it always the Eifel Tower with you?”

“It’s certainly the most romantic spot in the city,” Chat Noir purred, waggling his eyebrows as Ladybug drove her elbow into the side of his head. “Ow! Wh-Why are you hurting me so much?”

“Sorry; I have a thing for some other guy so I can’t be civil with any other boy, otherwise I’m basically cheating on him,” Ladybug said, pouring Lucky Charm gasoline on a Lucky Charm table and grabbing Chat around the waist.

“Is that why you hurled a textbook at my head when I said hello to you the other day?” Chat asked.

“Basically,” Ladybug said, shrewishly suplexing her partner through the burning table. “You should know better than to say things to me by now.”

Chat Noir’s flirting was especially grating to her, because he flirted with literally everything that had a pulse and pair of legs. She was fairly sure that he once chatted up a mailbox because it was dark and his feline cat vision hadn’t kicked in yet. It was gross and didn’t make her jealous at all. I-It’s not like she liked him or anything!

Sh-shut up!

Ladybug’s tsundere inner monologue and Chat Noir’s pained, burning screams were cut short by the sound of a high pitched scream from just down the road. Without looking to see if Chat had recovered from her right hook, she took off, latching on to the spire of the Eiffel Tower and landing in a crouch near the far banks of the Seine.

All around her, people were necking in the streets like teenagers at summer camp; a summer camp for nerds who had never kissed anyone before. A ten car pileup in the middle of the road blocked traffic on all sides as the citizens of Paris lived up to their romantic stereotype by Frenching the first age appropriate person they saw. The half your age plus seven rule was in full effect for it seemed that even Hawkmoth had standards of basic decency when it came to brainwashing the Parisian populace.

“Okay, furreeze!” Chat Noir cried, landing with his claws out and leg outstretched like a cat as he surveyed the scene. “Who is respawnsible for this hissterical catastrophe?!”

“Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,” Ladybug groaned for thirty full seconds, pausing only to roundhouse kick Chat in the head. “Yeah, what he said, but not completely idiotic; who’s in charge of this fiasco?”

The Parisians seemed to be too busy playing tonsil lacrosse to answer Ladybug, but across the avenue, a low, throaty chuckle pierced the symphony of sloppy face sucking.

“Huhuhuhu,” the shadowy figure chortled, stepping out of the darkness. “So good of you to drop by, Ladybug...drop by for your doom!”

A hail of gold crossbow bolts assailed them from the shadows and Ladybug dove out of the way before Chat could throw himself in front of her as he usually did. From the darkness, a cloaked figure emerged, a bright sparkling grin the only thing visible from under his hood.

“You might have done well against Dark Cupid,” the hooded stranger chortled. “But you have yet to face the wrath of-”

The akuma threw the cloak back, revealing a painted on, bright pink bodysuit complete with assless chaps and heart shaped pasties.

“-Cupid Cupid!” Cupid Cupid crowed, soaring into the air on fluttering wings made of questionably shaped feathers. The citizens sucking face paused their tongue lashings to chant “Cupid! Cupid!” in unholy unison.

“I thought the full moon wasn’t until next week,” Chat snickered as Cupid Cupid shook his barely covered rear. His pun earned him another smack in the back of the head from Ladybug with a stray brick, who loathed humor in all its many forms, but puns more than anything.

“With the power of love and beauty, I’m here to take your Miraculouses, win the day, and bump this fic from a T to an M rating!” Cupid Cupid said, gyrating in a way that made Ladybug, Chat Noir, and Hawkmoth halfway across the city deeply, deeply uncomfortable. “Suck my throbbing love rockets!”

“Oh god, why?!” Ladybug cried, dodging the hail of crossbow bolts that crashed into the sidewalk with a hail of lewd cries. They scampered around the akuma showered them in a golden stream of heart tipped bolts, cackling as distantly Huey Lewis and the News blared on the speakers. But as agile as Ladybug was, Cupid Cupid’s golden shower (of bolts) managed to rain down and hit Ladybug in the side of the shoulder. She tumbled in midair, landing across the street as Chat Noir’s glowing green eyes narrowed into feline slits. Now madder than a cat in a room full of dog shaped rocking chairs, Chat Noir pounced on Ladybug’s prone form, carrying her up and on to the nearby rooftops away from the cosmically inappropriate akuma.

“Ladybug!” Chat Noir yeowled, shaking her stirring form with a pained expression. “Ladybug answer me!”

Ladybug’s pale blue eyes fluttered open, staring up at the young man standing over her. “Adrien?” Ladybug crooned sweetly and with more affection than she would have ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever…ever shown her partner.

“Uh…n-no, definitely not Adrien Agreste,” Chat Noir chuckled nervously, freezing as Ladybug cupped his face, eyes now literal heart shapes as she leaned in.

“Come on, model boy, let’s make out!” Ladybug said, making octopus-esque kissy noises as Cupid Cupid cackled in the distance.

“It’s no use; she has fallen under my spell and now thinks of you as the object of her affection!” Cupid Cupid cackled, firing his crossbows into the air like Yosemite Sam on the Fourth of July while shaking his hips. “She now has an insatiable desire to suck face with you while I make off with your Miraculouses!”

“How is this an effective akuma idea?!” Chat Noir hissed, trying to keep Ladybug from planting her lips on him.

“How is akumitizing a four year old a good idea?!” Cupid Cupid shouted. “Hawkmoth isn’t too good at this game, is he?!”

“Point,” Chat Noir said as Ladybug pounced on him, pinning him to the rooftop.

“Aaaaaaaaaadrien,” Ladybug said in a strange, gushy tone that reminded Chat Noir of Chloe in a way that made his hair stand up on the back of his neck. “I’m soooooooo glad you’re here and not my flaming dumpster fire of a partner~ I love you, Adrien! I always have!”

Another single, perfect tear rolled down Chat Noir’s cheek, for he knew that Ladybug was actually not really in love with him. She, like everyone else, was fooled by his corporate, soulless, perfect model boy persona. She had rejected the real him; the one who liked to run on rooftops, make terrible puns, and occasionally shit in a cardboard box full of sand because it felt good sometimes.

Ladybug would never love the real him; a cold, cold fact that did nothing to diminish the selfless, pure, innocent, all too perfect and unconditional love he felt for her. Even as her yo-yo wound its way around his wrists, effectively cutting off bloodflow to his fingertips, his heart was full of nothing but pure, beautiful love for the girl trying to bite his lower lip off.

“Uh, L-Ladybug, I can’t really feel my fingers,” Chat Noir panted as Ladybug tugged at his bell collar.

“Shh, Adrien, let’s just get you out of this…” Ladybug frowned as the bell stayed in one place. “What the hell?! Where’s the zipper?”

“Why would I have a zipper?!” Chat Noir meowed (AN: like a cat). “Why would my magic catsuit have a zipper?!”

“Fun?” Ladybug and Cupid Cupid suggested at the same time.

“Why are you still here?!” Chat Noir hissed

“I’m the creepy makeout akuma; what did you expect?!” Cupid Cupid crowed. “Don’t tell me your dad never taught you about the birds and the bees!”

“This isn’t exactly the birds and the bees; more like the ladybugs and the…cats or something,” Chat Noir muttered, eyes widening like a cat who just saw a canary as Ladybug withdrew the large, vibrating object she Lucky Charmed.

“Come on, you stupid zipper,” Ladybug said, pulling her Lucky Charmed chainsaw out and revving it against Chat Noir’s suit to no avail. “Gimme that sweet sweet Adrien fruit.” ‘

Wriggling under her, Chat Noir managed to arch his back like an angry cat and kick his baton between his chest and the revving chainsaw. The chainsaw flew up in a high arc, shearing Cupid Cupid’s lewdly shaped wings off his back. Much to the displeasure of Cupid Cupid (and a hidden Alya who was hoping to capture lewd Ladynoir content for the Ladyblog), the phallic wings seemed to hold the key to Ladybug’s brainwashing. She blinked, shaking her head as she looked down at her partner with thinly veiled disgust.

“…ew,” Ladybug said with a deep scowl, kicking her partner off the roof. “Looks like it’s up to me and only me to save the day. Lucky Charm!”

What followed was an acrobatic series of maneuvers involving a pogo stick too upsetting to print here. Suffice to say, Ladybug managed to get the fedora off Cupid Cupid’s head and purify it before Chat Noir could untangle the yo-yo around his wrists. As the butterflies disappeared, Ladybug held a fist out in front of her face and casually bumped it with her other fist.

“Good job, me and only me,” Ladybug said, scowling at Chat Noir as he stood up. “Oh…are you still here?”

Chat Noir’s ears drooped under horrible horrible Ladybug’s horrible words, prickling her black and icy heart enough to elicit a resigned sigh.

“Fine,” Ladybug conceded as though she were fighting to throw up with every word. “You…weren’t…entirely…useless…this time…”

Backhanded as it was, and even though half his hair was still missing from when Ladybug set him on fire, Chat Noir, our beautiful and innocent sunshine boy incapable of wrong, warmed at Ladybug’s snide comments, purring and rubbing against her legs before she kicked him off the roof.

“Don’t let it go to your head; I’ve had bowel movements that were more productive than you were, not-Adrien,” Ladybug huffed, with a blush. “B-Baka.”

“I don’t know what that means, but I think that’s a good thing,” Chat Noir said, climbing back up on to the roof as Ladybug’s earrings beeped. “Oh…guess it’s time to go.”

“Yeah, sure, would you look at the time,” Ladybug said as her earrings beeped again. “Gotta go.”

Chat caught her arm, and as Ladybug turned to stab him in the collarbone for daring to occupy the same space as her, she caught sight of his soft expression in the moonlight. She didn’t want to admit it (because if she did, Adrien would somehow know and accuse her of being a whore) but Chat Noir was kinda sorta handsome in a Kovu from Simba’s Pride kind of way. The kind of handsome that made her question a lot of things about herself; namely if she needed to register for Paris’ next furry convention as a keynote speaker. But mostly the fact that she had never even considered Chat Noir as a thinking, feeling entity until she sucked face with him. Something about shoving him against the rooftop and making out with him made her see him as something almost sort of approaching something that could almost be mistaken for human. 

“I know you’ve stated multiple times that you’re uncomfortable revealing your identity, but I’m gonna ask again because, fuck your feelings I guess,” Chat Noir chuckled in that boyish way of his. “Why can’t we tell each other who we are?”

The truth was that, despite being one of two superpowered demigods that protected Paris’ on a daily basis, Ladybug was…afraid that Chat would be disappointed if he ever found out who she was. He was in love with Ladybug who was completely different than her in every single way. If he ever found out that his Lady was just a fashion designer, artist, video game champion, graphic designer, baker, professional phone thief, and student council representative, he would throw up in his mouth and claw his eyes out for having ever been attracted to such a hideously ordinary cave troll. Even if her family, friends, classmates, neighbors, customers, fashion moguls, and passing rock stars all universally adored her, there was no earthly way that Chat would ever bring himself to care about the heinous sewer witch that was Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

“You know why,” Ladybug said sternly. “If we ever tell each other who we are, the Seal of the Apocalypse will be unsealed and the Dread Wolf Fenris will rise from the east to devour the sun. Quetzalcoatal would literally return to duel the Smoking Mirror at the end of the world as the seventh seal of the apocalypse would be unsealed, letting Satan’s forces up to ravage the planet. If I told you my name, Hawkmoth would literally hire a squad of disgraced Navy Seals to kill us and steal our Miraculouses. Up will become down; left will become right. Reality as we know it will absolutely cease to be if I ever knew who you were. Total, total disaster.”

Chat Noir nodded solemnly. “So you’re saying it would be…apo-cat-lyptic?”

Ladybug stared at him for a long moment before summoning a red and black spotted handgun and shooting Chat Noir in the leg.

“Same time tomorrow, asswipe,” Ladybug said, swinging up onto the rooftop as Chat Noir lay bleeding under a streetlight. As he clutched his shattered kneecap, the only thing he could think of was that Ladybug promised to meet him tomorrow, and how lucky he would be to be in her presence if he didn’t bleed out first.

“Guess tonight…really ended…with a bang,” Chat Noir said, aiming a fingergun at Ladybug’s retreating figure before passing out in the middle of the road.

[cocoarosalia]

Searingly Sweet (Marichat/Adrienette)

What do you do when one of paris’ most superlatively handsome heros comes knocking on your balcony door? You would panic first, right? Like, what does he want; why is he here; should I prepare something? Any and all those thoughts might run through your head I’m guessing. But what does Marinette Dupain-Cheng do when a certain leather-clad feline comes a knocking?

She gets pissed...cause duh, right?

And it wasn’t even like she was pissed at him exactly. It was more just that he happened to appear at the apex of her shitty day. Every single client the 23 year old had that afternoon was completely and utterly shitty human beings. And she gets it, a lot of schools in the area were picking up the american custom of having end of the year dances, for socializing and shit. But if she had to hear another shitty 17 year old complain about how the applique on her dress doesn’t absolutely “shimmer” in the moonlight and how the dress doesn’t make her ASS look like that american rapper Nicki Minaj’s (Which by the way if you’re gonna use french in your stage name PICK A REAL FRENCH WORD). She was ACTUALLY going to cut someone.

So it wasn’t his fault that he happened to knock on the balcony door to her apartment. Also wasn’t his fault that she happened to be in the middle of her 3rd alteration of the SAME dress at the time. But that didn’t stop her from viciously slamming open her door, rage blazing in her eyes.

“WHAT?” She roared

Her attitude instantly vanished, however, as Chat Noir collapsed into her arms. She grabbed onto his waist to keep him upright but his harsh hiss kept her hands at bay. She felt a wetness on her hand, it wasn’t raining out so it couldn’t be good. She looked down and sure enough Chat had contracted a sizeable cut above his hip and in different places along his torso.

“Holy shit!” was all she could really comment “Adrien, what happened!?”

They had long since found out each other’s identity. 21st birthdays mixed with intimate truth or dare and too many margaritas will do that kind of thing to you. But the lucky part was that nothing ever really changed for them. If anything, it made their civilian lives that much easier. Now, if anything went wrong they knew exactly where to go for safety.

Guess this was one of those times huh?

“Mari” Chat groaned out pitifully, body slumped over her petite frame

She didn’t allow him to say anything else as she carefully helped him onto the couch. She laid him down gently and rushed to get a bowl and some cool water. Returning back he didn’t look too good, hair matted from sweat and eyes squeezed shut in pain. She gingerly picked up his head and laid it in her lap. She pressed the wet cloth to his biggest cut and pressed down, shushing him softly to soothe his pain.

She looked into his eyes for an explanation “What happened? Was it a really bad akuma?”. Her heart only sank as he remained silent.

“Oh god it was, wasn’t it? Fuck, if I wasn’t so swamped with work I could’ve been there for you. You wouldn’t be like this. Adrien I’m so sorry” He lifted his hand and gently stroked her cheek. A gentle smile graced his features and she felt like bursting into tears that very moment.

“Please don’t cry, Mari” He said, his voice warmer than a summer’s breeze “I didn’t lose to an akuma. Just to a very old cat and a very sturdy tree.”

At first it didn’t click, she was far too wrapped up in her guilt ridden emotions. But then, ever so slowly, the words sunk in further and further

“Could you say that again for me please?” She said a little too sweetly “I just want to make sure I heard you correctly”

“Oh! I just said that these cuts are from me saving a pretty old cat from a tree” He scratched his head bashfully “old beast was not too appreciative and scratched me up pretty good and the tree kinda finished the job”

She stood up abruptly, knocking chat off the couch and onto the floor.

“Noooo” Chat whined as she stormed off “Don’t leave me here to perish in the cold!”

A blanket, quite unceremoniously, pelted him in the face “BUNDLE UP BITCH”

“Someone’s got their chiffon in a knot” He pouted “what? You missed your monthly ‘designer’s digest’ issue?”

Marinette sat back on the couch wordlessly, only speaking to ask him to drop his transformation so she could patch him up. Her speech was so...professional that he dropped it immediately, worried that he might’ve pushed her buttons a little too hard.

“Hey Mari, you know I was only kidding right?” this silent treatment was a bit of a first for him, he hadn’t meant to offend her, only poke at her a little “I didn’t mean all that stuff I said. I really am sorry”

He tried putting on his best sad face, nudging his head into her in the hopes that it’d melt her heart enough to forgive him. She sighed and put his head back into her lap.

“I’m not mad chat.” She said, preparing a disinfectant cloth “there’d be no point in that”

He breathed a sigh of relief, he wasn’t totally convinced but at least she wasn’t gonna kick him out of the house

“That being said, you tear up the shirt I made you. Sooooo, you deserve this entirely”

Adrien’s eyes shot open wide as a stinging, searing pain shot through his whole side. He moved to shoot up in his seat but, surprisingly, Marinette was pretty strong and held him down, giggling the entire time. A disinfectant cloth slapped to the cut would teach him a lesson or two

“OH MY GOD THAT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD” he howled out

“I know right? You must be so sorry for playing with my emotions and tearing up that shirt aren’t you?”

“I WAS ATTACKED!?!? GET THIS SHIT OFF ME!”

“That’s interesting cause, see, that doesn’t sound like an ‘I’m sorry’ to me”

“YOU ARE SADISTIC”

“And you’re still screaming. I do have neighbors you know”

Adrien gritted his teeth as he tried to bear the burning sensation traveling all through his body “I’m sorry for tearing up the shirt and playing with your emotions even though I did nothing of the sort”

She pressed down on the cut harder

“I’M SORRY I’M SORRY YOU’RE RIGHT ENTIRELY MY FAULT. PLEASE SWEET MERCIFUL CHRIST LET GO!”

She took pity on his poor soul and finally released him. He rolled back onto the floor and scattered away behind her curtains

“I COULD HAVE DIED YOU PSYCHO”

Marinette was hardly perturbed “1.) I checked the bottle before-hand it was gonna sting regardless of what I did and 2.) you still have like 8 more lives, you’re fine”

Adrien was now in full pout mode “I’m not an actual cat you know. The american phrase ‘YOLO’ does actually apply to me”

“You’re so dramatic” she laughed. Scooting over on the furthest side of the couch, she stretched out her arms to lure him back to the sofa. He turned from her, refusing to even acknowledge her offer.

“Oh come on, kitty. I still have to wrap up your other cuts before they get infected”

He wrapped the curtains further up on his body “Better than dying from the shock of the pain!”

She rolled her eyes “I promise I’ll be gentler this time. And, I’ll make sure to tell you when the sting is coming”

He eyed her cautiously, coming out from behind the curtains and inching closer “I want free cuddles the rest of the night”

She sighed “fine, whatever you want”. It was like telling him he’d won the lotto, his perfect white teeth gleaming in a cheshire like grin. Adrien tossed himself on the couch, instantly slipping up her body and snuggling closely to her chest.

“You are so unbelievably spoiled you know”

“You know I think I can still feel the pain of the disinfectant. I wonder why?”

She laughed warmly and let him stay there for a while.

There was no way to really describe the relationship they had. On the one hand they were definitely friends; they had the occasional coffee meet-up with Alya and Nino, popped in on one another if they had a bad day and, duh, saved one another from certain death every now and again. They could go out and see other people, sure, but then they did things like this. Cuddle times where they just stayed silent and share body heat, sleeping in the same bed because one couldn’t be bothered to stay up enough to make the trek home, and even spending whole weekends just vegging out at home watching Totally Spies reruns on TV. It was a weird set up but if you asked Marinette if she would change anything, not a single second would be unmissed.

“Ok mon minou, let’s get you patched up before I have to clean your blood off my couch...again”

He begrudgingly agreed and left her warm hold, sitting with legs crossed and patiently awaited her medical care. She returned back with her famous “Chat almost died today” first aid kit and something thin and white sticking out from between her lips. It caught the blonde’s attention and his feline instincts began to flare up again. Nevertheless, he sat still,only moving to remove his shirt and give her space to wrap his body in bandages.

“There, all done” She said, ever so slightly proud of her work “You were a very good patient this time around kitty. Usually you’re so squirmish”

Even as she scritched his favorite spot behind his ear adrien still couldn’t get his mind off of whatever was occupying his lady’s mouth

“Uh Adrien? You ok?” She said waving a hand in front of his eyes. He blinked back to reality and smiled apologetically

“Sorry Mari guess I’m a little distracted” He laughed nervously. She shrugged it off as no big deal and left to warm up some leftovers for him.

Adrien watched her with childlike curiosity, he didn’t wanna be a real bother to her but it killed him not knowing what it was that was in her mouth. Even still, he hesitated on bringing it up, choosing instead to stuff his face with honey mustard glazed chicken and pasta.

It was maybe 20 minutes into their third episode when Adrien just stretched himself out flat onto her lap. She remarked on his keen ability to make “make himself at home” but it only went in one ear and out another as he watched her cheek poke out with the offending object.

He poked it

She switched it to the other side

He poked it again

She sat it in the middle while looking at him with a strange look on her face

He didn’t even notice as his long fingers kept poking around her face, expecting to flush it out from behind her lips

“Adrien!” She commanded, swatting his hands away “Will you please stop tha-”

“My lady, what is in your mouth?”

The question came out so abruptly that it caught her completely by surprise. She blinked confusedly at him. There was not a hint of joking attitude in his eyes so she took it out.

“It’s just a lollipop. See?” she placed it back over her tongue, sucking on it hard “Nothing special. Cherry flavor I think”

Adrien didn’t exactly know what to feel. Yes, he got the answer he’d been looking for but, at the same time, a cherry lollipop? Really?

“Why didn’t you say you got one?” He fussed

“Why do you care? Kitty, it’s just candy”

He didn’t really have a witty retort to that so he kept silent, rolling over in her lap and facing the TV. Marinette assumed he’d finally gave up so she settled back in her seat.

“I want one”

She groaned, rubbing her temples soothingly

“No, Kitty you may not have one”

Adrien poked out his bottom lip “Why not, you have one”

“Ok, And?”

“Where do you keep them?”

“If I told you that it wouldn’t be a secret stash would it?”

He almost took offense to that “Why would you keep it a secret from me? Do you not trust me?”

“To not eat all my candy without me knowing? No”

“I’d replace it”

“Adrien the last time you ‘replaced’ my candy stash it ended up being more expensive than my rent”

He pulled her into a face squishing hug “Maaari let me have one”

She struggled to push away him away, he was stupidly strong when he wants something “No dammit let me go!”

Adrien finally released her and suddenly stood up. If she didn’t know any better she would’ve assumed that she got the hint. But, sadly, she did and, without remorse, glared him down.

“Chaton, don’t you fucking dare”

He shot out of the living room and into the bedroom down the hall. She chased after him, knowing exactly where he was going and for what. Just as she suspected, Adrien was making quick work of her room, sifting between the sheets and crawling beneath the bed.

“Quit it you fucking sugar addict!”

“Let me have my fix and I will!”

“No!”

“Then the hunt continues!”

Her room was becoming an utter mess. Clothes were being tossed everywhere, it was like a horror movie. She forced him into a corner to maybe try and talk things out somewhat civilly but the blonde bastard just carefully scooped her up and tossed her onto the bed, breaking out from the corner to just fuck up her room even more.

They were on the floor now, huffing and wheezing as they tried to catch their breath. Adrien looked everywhere, the sheets, under the bed, in the closet. He even took the ultimate risk and went through her drawers (The kick to his gut proved that that wasn’t too good of an idea). But still no sweets for a little blonde boy named Adrien

“Please tell me you quit” She huffed out

“It’s not fair” he whined “all I wanted was something sweet”

“I just fed you”

“Dessert is an important part of every meal”

He clambered up onto his feet and stumbled back, knocking into the wall behind him. There was a clamor from the top of Marinette’s closet. She prayed that he didn’t hear it….it was a stupid prayer let’s be real here.

“Hey Marinette”

“Yes Adrien”

“What’s in your closet”

“You looked in there yourself...nothing”

She didn’t dare move from the floor as he stared her down

“If I go over there right this very second, you’re not gonna move”

“I see no reason to do so”

The millisecond he moved toward that closet door she raced in between him and the doorway. A dark smile stretched across his lips. He moved in close and she could hear his heartbeat in her ears. He leaned down, his breath tickling her ears.

His voice made her knees weak “It’s in there, isn’t it my lady”

She sucked on her cherry blowpop harder and harder as she shook her head vigorously

“Then what did I hear in the closet. If it’s not what I’m looking for then what’s there to worry about?”

Her eyes looked everywhere but his own vibrant green ones. He knew what that tone of voice did to her and did it anyway.

Adrien snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her away from the door. His stares were so paralyzing she couldn’t say that she even noticed. They walked over to the bed and gently pushed her onto its soft sheets. He climbed atop of her, smoothing his hands across her skin

“Be a good girl and stay here, ok?”

This man could’ve told her to commit murder and all she’d need was a spoon and a name

He moved back over to the closet and rooted around its dark shelves. Eventually he noticed that the side wall was uneven. Sure enough, when he pressed down on it the panel fell away to a secret hole in the wall, complete with its own neatly painted shoe box.

“Hello my sweet”

He was a kitten on christmas coming out from that closet. Pressed close to his chest the box clearly said ‘Keep out, especially you kitty!” but he couldn’t care less, soon he would indulge himself in a sugar sweet paradise.

“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, THIEF”

Or at least he would if she didn’t break out of her lust induced trance

He bolted out of the room, eyes darting left and right for any kind of hiding space. Alas, it was no use. Marinette had him stuck in the kitchen corner with nowhere left to run. She took a cautious step toward him and he grabbed the first thing he could, a deluxe chocolate bar that she’d been saving for a super shitty day

Much like this one actually

“S-stop! Kitty, just leave the box on the counter”

“Fine! I’ll just take the chocolate bar then”

“THE CHOCOLATE BAR TOO!”

He tore off the label, never once taking his eyes off hers

“Put it. Down”

A corner of the aluminum wrapping hit the floor and her mind went into a blind panic. He was really gonna eat it if she didn’t come up with something!

He opened his mouth comically wide and brought it to his teeth

‘ThinkThinkThinkThinkThink!’

And as he brought his teeth closer together for bite she decided that she had no choice

Marinette ripped the candy from her mouth and pressed her body roughly against his, grabbing a fistful of his hair and bringing their lips together.

That alone would be seared into his subconscious for the rest of his life but what followed would follow him for as long as time stood.

Cherries, the syrupy sweet taste of artificial cherries flooded his tastebuds as her tongue slipped between his lips and into every corner of his mouth. His mind couldn’t take it to the point where he just dropped the box in his hands altogether, grabbing tightly onto her hips and savoring the flavor as much as he could.

But as soon as it started, it ended. She backed away from him, face redder than the candy in her hand.

“Never touch my stash again”

He tried to speak but she shoved the red sucker into his cheeks

“And I’m sure you’ve probably earned that”

She gathered up her box and walked out the kitchen, grumbling something about ‘Stupid cats’ and ‘putting it in a safe next time’

Adrien’s favorite flavor used to be chocolate

He was fairly certain that’s not the case anymore.

[sassytimemachine]

The Proust Questionnaire

The Proust Questionnaire has its origins in a parlor game popularized (though not devised) by Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering these questions, an individual reveals their true nature.

 I was tagged by the sunshine that is @sunny-day-sky , thank you friend. And jesus did I took long to do this,

I’m gonna tag some of you that I think haven’t bee tagged, probably forgetting people if you want to do it, say I tagged you! @bahorelly @mariquia @todaysgonebi @just-a-colour-bandit @draco-rys @cottoncandyfeuilly @courf-the-goof @brohorel @grangratree

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?  Look, I’m not sure; what I can say about happiness is that I don’t expect it to be constant, but is all in the small moments. The laughs with silblings, the feeling of a strong wind in a sunny day, an afternoon with nice colors. There’s hapiness in all that things. 2. What is your greatest fear? I fear that one day I’ll look back and realize I didn’t do anything. But also like being in a pool and then for some reason to find that there’s a shark or a huge snake in there too. 3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? My laziness. I do have a terrible tendecy to procastinate everything to absurd levels. Sounds funny but no pal, it’ll drive you and me crazy. 4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?  Hypocrisy maybe?  5. Which living person do you most admire? A lot of people. But I had this professor, and he was such a good professor. Ah, good times. 6. What is your greatest extravagance? How do I answer this? I’m a extravagant person in a lot of aspects, but nothing too remarcable that I can pinpoint?? 7. What is your current state of mind?  Hahaha what do i know. 8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Puntuality? 9. On what occasion do you lie? I’m generally an honest person,  usually if I lie is by omission, sometimes deliberatly by omission. 10. What do you most dislike about your appearance? I feel a bit uncomfortable about my forhead, maybe my cheeks i don’t know. I’ve never considered myself particularly attractive, but  standard is alright- 11. Which living person do you most despise? I can’t think of anyone? Most people I’ve despised became pretty irrelevant. 12. What is the quality you most like in a man person? Strenght of the mind. 13. What is the quality you most like in a woman? Same as above. Why would you even make a difference? In fact I’m going to cross this out. 14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse? They’re mostly in spanish. “Mae” that’s the equivalent of  “pal” or “buddy”. 

16. When and where were you happiest? I’m not sure, I think it might have be when I was a child around six, but as I said happiness comes and goes. 17. Which talent would you most like to have? Oh, I’d like to be much better at drawing, you know there’s a difference between drawing what you can and drawing what you want, I’m still stuck with the first one. But also like I’ll like to move things with my mind or teletransportate that counts as a talent or is superpower? 18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Maybe my laziness, I which I could be more pro-active sometimes, you know, keep my motivation for longer and all. 19. What do you consider your greatest achievement? Ehhhhh. I once won a medal for dancing La Bamba when I was like four. HA. 20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? Oh, I’d love to come back as some big feline, or as someone with the resources and the ability to make great changes and have cool adventures. 21. Where would you most like to live? The mountain probably, a place not too secluded, close enough if I want to visit my family, but surrounded by nature and easiness, and also cats of course, maybe a dog. 22. What is your most treasured possession? I’m guessing this refer to material belongings. Not sure, I have a nice necklace with a trisket that mom gave me when i turned sixteen. 23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?Hahah I read mistery and was stuck reading this again and again like nine times. I guess not finding the strength to enjoy the little things of life, being stuck always waiting for more, without stoping from time to time to appreciate what is there. 24. What is your favorite occupation? Hm, like for myself? I’m a Social Worker, but I’m not very sure about it, I’d like to be an art teacher, that sounds nice, 25. What is your most marked characteristic? I’m known to be a bit of a calm mess. 26. What do you most value in your friends? For me it’s enough that they enjoy my presence from time to time, and that I enjoy theirs, and of course that they accept who I am, some laugh is always nice. 27. Who are your favorite writers? Uh! I like Kafka, Herman Hesse, Kahlil Gibran. 28. Who is your hero of fiction?  Scheherezade. 29. Which historical figure do you most identify with? Can’t think of anything? 30. Who are your heroes in real life? I guess, the heroes I most appreciate are those people who fight the small fights in the everyday life, that call for respecte and acceptance of the minorities, and that by doing so creat a better world. 31. What are your favorite names? I’m not sure? Jeez, I’m not sure about a lot of stuff hahaha.  32. What is it that you most dislike? The feel of superiority 33. What is your greatest regret? Hm, maybe small things, I tend to try to be unapologetical, particularly I regret a long relationship that i didn’t endeed sooner.  34. How would you like to die? Heroically? haha Sounds ridiculous but it’s true, It’s true,. At least with a clean conscience that i did what i could.  35. What is your motto?  Do what you can, what you can’t you can’t.

There, not sure what this says about me, probably that I don’t know much.