#oh my god i sound like i am preparing for the end of the world sorry😭😭😭😭

[nikki152006]

the letter | Hawks X Reader

oneshot; (wrote it some 3 yrs ago and edited the narration here)

(it was a result for a "write a letter to mha characters" quiz of mine)

.

"Calm down, will you?" Tokoyami says over the phone, "I can not believe it's me of all people who needs to console you."

"Well, it was your idea." you pace your room in stress.

"It was dark shadow's idea." Tokoyami doesn't sound happy at your accusation, "I even warned you against trusting him just like that. His maturity level is down in the drain. That all put aside, I really do think you should relax. Definitely, sensei wouldn't hate you."

"He wouldn't hate me?" you frown and take a deep inhale, "I wrote that guy a love letter and we left it in his office, Tokyo!"

"I do not see how that should make him hate you.. " Tokoyami sounds confused, "Hawks sensei has quite a following, it would only be normal to him if you ended up having feelings for him too. Relax, it's no big deal."

"Oh my God." you clutch your head, "Is this how you're consoling me? I don't know what to do– is there a chance he wouldn't have seen it? I really just want to bring the letter back now."

"Wow." Dark shadow's voice sounds, "That's really spineless of you," you gasp at that, "relax, (Name)-chan. Everything's gonna be fine. If Hawks sensei ignores you, I'll fight him for you."

You pause, "Ignores? You know what, I'll call you and Dark Shadow back later, Tokyo. The both of you are only increasing my anxiety."

"Okay." Tokoyami sighs, "And stop calling me Tokyo."

"No." you hang up right after.

Continuing to pace in the room, you begin to prepare yourself for the worse. It's true Hawks could just ignore you if he gets uncomfortable with the whole thing. If not that, he could just reject your feelings.

After all, he does get thousands of letters per day (though none are found at his table top in his office) and like Tokoyami said, it would be only normal for him to have a little girl crush on him.

You're two weeks away from your birthday and do not at all wish to be crying over his rejection on the day you turn eighteen. 

"It's alright." you try to console yourself, "There's a lot more beauty in this world to cry over just one guy." but it's easier said than done.

No matter how true your words are, they do nothing to ease the way your throat suffocates in anxiety."

Your phone buzzes with notifications on the side and you pick it up to distract yourself with whatever they're from only to find an unknown number having texted you.

__________________________

XXXXXXX

heyy

you really thought you'd 

send him a letter and BOOM

he's into you, huh

haha, bitch

stop daydreaming

look at this 

seriously

stop embarrassing yourself

there's other important ppl

in his life

__________________________

Your brain processes the texts way too slow. Once it does, however, you feel something in your heart shatter.

A picture of Hawks blushing and another of him covering his face combined with the texts you've received explain a lot. 

There's other important people in his life.

It makes sense– you don't know much about his person life. You only know Hawks the hero not the person who he is away from the limelight.

It makes sense, absolute sense, but it hurts. 

"It's okay." you mumble futile and empty words to yourself, one hand making way to your chest and rubbing it hard. The ache lying within overpowers even the peak of control you can exert over yourself.

A tear rolls down your cheek. At this point, you don't even know what else you were expecting.

"I am just another fangirl." you tell yourself, "It's alright. That's what happens, I'm no one special– I barely know about his personal life."

A ding brings in new messages from the same number.

__________________________

XXXXXXX

we've got some things to settle

fifteen minutes from now

on your dorm roof

lets fight

YOU

lets please talk it out

it's nothing serious

I guess I'm just a fangirl

XXXXXXX

ask me if I give a fuck

__________________________

It hurts you to reply this way but this is just the truth.

But how can someone enter U.A.? I don't think non pro heroes would be allowed to enter.

And this thought leads to the rather painful realization that the person texting you might just be Mirko, you know Hawks is good friends with her so there could always be things between them that you aren't aware of.

It's just best to go and talk to her and clear out any misunderstandings. Who knows what sort of ruckus might follow.

You violently rub your teary eyes and swallow hard, "Well then."

There's no one on the roof when you reach there. With a sigh, you walk over to the boundary and lean against it taking in the view of the night at your school.

The suffocating weight on your chest remains constant but the worry about what Hawks would think of you beats it.

It hurts to remember how seriously you had written the letter and poured all of your ehart into it. Now, you only feel like an idiot.

Why the fuck did I even think this was okay?

If you could, you'd make everything go back to before you'd written it. All the worry, all the nervousness and this painful rejection-- you sigh.

"Pretty, isn't it?"

You haven't paid attention to the view until now. At once, you blink focusing your gaze in front. A small smile rises up your face, "It's beautiful." and then you pause.

"You didn't even notice me sneaking up to you." the way too familiar from the snort makes a tsunami of heat crash against your body, you snap your head to where Hawks is leaned to the boundary by your side.

"Hawks." your jaw falls a mile below.

"Yup." he smiled, "I had to come, didn't I?"

On reflex, you look around to see if someone else has come with him but not another soul is around.

"You're.. " you swallow hard, a mountain of shame settling in your face, "Uhm... well.. "

Hawks hums, his face turned towards the school building in view, "I thought I'd just talk to you face to face. I was on my way to Musutafu anyways."

"O-Oh.. ?"

"So you wrote me a letter." there's the tiniest bit of tease in his voice, "You think I'm handsome, eh, (Name)-chan? Boy, I did not know that."

Your face falls into your hands. You wish the earth would swallow you whole.

"Well," he hums a moment later, "I sort of saw the letter in front of Mirko and she urged we should prank you so she took those pictures of me while I was reading the letter. I don't know what she's texted you though. She said you'd be happy to see me in person."

It takes you a while to process the thing about the pictures.

You don't have it inside you to face him anymore but the relief you feel on knowing this was a pranks expresses itself as a sharp exhale.

Hawks' face turns to you again, a sly smirk rising to his face, "You weren't getting jealous, were you? Ahh, I really want to see a jealous (Name)-chan. Your little crush on me makes this so much easier."

With great difficulty, you manage to separate your face and hands and try to lift your head.

"Oh right," Hawks snorts, "it's not a crush, it's love."

"Come on." you whine, turning your face away.

Hawks laughs, "You're adorable, (Name)-chan. Don't you worry, you'll still be on my priority list of little girls crushing on me."

"Look at how proud you are about that." you roll your eyes hysterically, "Shameless chicken."

"Aw, don't you think being mean to me makes me not want to hang out with you?" he dramatizes, "I thought we get careful when we get a puppy crush."

You're honestly just glad he isn't hating or getting creeped out by you.

"You were on your way to Musutafu?" you try to change the topic, "For what?"

Hawks hums a little, his gaze focused on the distantly visible city, "Say, (Name)-chan. You're of age, right? Your birthday was three months ago so you should be eighteen already."

"I am, yeah." your gaze rests on him for a bit- Hawks looks beautiful in the low night light.

He turns to you, "I was coming to Musutafu for this date I have to be on. I realized I should confirm your age outside the school. Nezu looked pretty relaxed when I said I want to visit you so that was relieving."

You blink, "I'm sorry?" there's a darker shade settling on his face now that you focus.

"Takami Keigo." he hums, "That's my real name."

The sudden revelation takes you by surprise, "Oh? I.. wow. That's a nice name."

"Of course," he snorts though there is now something adorably nervous to his voice, "your crush on me makes everything about me nice."

"Other than your personality, yes." you pout, "Look at you insensitively teasing me. Are you wishing to see me cry later?"

"Ne ne, (Name)-chan, you really think I'd let you cry?" he turns you towards himself.

You blink, "H-Huh?"

Hawks smiles nervously, "D'you.. you know.. want to go out with me tonight?"

It takes an eternity for your brain to process it. Once you do, your jaw drop in shock only to tug upwards immediately into a smile.

"What? What.. seriously?"

"Of course." his hand rubs the back of his head, Hawks looks embarrassed, "I-I mean.. it's not important that your crush is one sided.. "

"You like me?" you don't remember when the last time you'd been filled with such pure thrill was. You're basically jumping on your feet.

"If you're going to behave like this, how do you expect me not to?" he pouts and speaks in a small voice.

"Wow." your gaze locks into his, "That's just... "

"Sweet?" his hand boops your nose, "It is. But anyways, should we?" he holds his hand out.

You're about to put your hand onto his put pause, "Has Aizawa sensei allowed you to take me out." you pause, "Shit, I'm not even dressed right." and you continue to freak out more in happiness than in worry.

Hawks chuckles, "You're being pretty reasonable for someone who gets to be with the sexy hot number two." and the sassy reply he expects doesn't come.

You wrap your hands around him instead, "I am."

A gush of red burns his cheeks, Hawks lips part, "Wh-Whoa.. okay." his eyebrows jerk, and his head turns to the side now radiating with heat.

"Shit." you step away from him, "I'm not making you uncomfortable or something, am I?"

"Not at all." Hawks's eyes lock into yours, "That's.. actually leave the date. Let's go to your room and watch a movie or something."

"Boys aren't allowed in our side of the dorm." you make a sad face.

"I'm a man if you haven't noticed." he frowns, "Take me down there, I'll make sure you never miss my manliness again."

Your eyes widen and avert to the side and a buzz rises up your skin. Hawks looks pretty dead set with his little tease and is happy to see the reaction he was expecting.

It's risky sneaking Hawks inside so he sends in a feather first. Thankfully, there's no one in the hallways at this hour.

You let Hawks inside first and enter after securing the area. Little do you realize you've pushed him right into the one wall full of posters of him. You thank yourself for not having pasted hearts or something of the sort around.

"Looks like you have a major crush on this pro hero Hawks." he looks smug but the warm red tint of his ears adds more to the story, "That's so cute."

Your cheeks flare up, "W-Well.. th-there's nothing to hide anymore.. I guess."

Hawks hums, "You'll be knowing me as Keigo no onwards." he leans forward and pulls a poster down, crushes it and throw it to the side.

"What are you doing?" you frown in confusion.

"There's a lot of other things you need space to stick on the walls." he says, "Things about Takami Keigo and not Hawks," a teasing smirk rises up his face again, "and then you can continue to thirst over a sexier side of your hero crush."

You pout and turn away, face now warming up the air all around, "You're so mean, Hawks." there's a silence, "K-Keigo-san.. "

"Good girl." he hums, making all hair on your body rise on their ends, "Try it less formal."

You swallow, "Keigo-kun.. ?"

"Yeah." his hand strokes your cheek, you feel your legs getting weak, "That's more like it, babybird."

"You're literally so mean." your gaze averts to the ground, "Coming all the way here just to tease me.. "

"And maybe also to see you get excited like a little kid when I say it's mutual." he winks, then plops onto your bed, rubbing his face into the pillow.

The thing about the number two pro hero is that the confidence seeps out of all pores in his body. Even if he is shy and nervous, Hawks would unapologetically spread around knowing it would not at all change anything about your feelings for him unless it makes them more intense.

He knows that because he has seen the expression on your face when the two of you would mess around and do weird stuff to annoy Tokoyami (although it was mostly you).

Hawks would have a bigger hand in verbal teasing.

"S-So... " you fiddle with your fingers, cheeks heating up more at the thought of his scent settling onto your sheets. Hawks turns to you.

"Movie?"

"I-If you want to."

"Or maybe we could just.. you know," he playfully winks.

You freeze momentarily, "What... ?"

Hawks snorts, his hand taking his visors and ruffling his hair. He beckons you to come sit with him while taking his shoes and jacket off.

You now find it hard to not stare at his torso.

"Should we have a photoshoot?" he turns to you, eyes full of adoration.

It's too bad that your dirty mind is not able to process anything rationally on being exposed to his biceps now. And it just so happens that you and Hawks are awfully comfortable with teasing and insults on being friends for so long (all thanks to Tokoyami).

That is why the words slip out of your mouth before you can realise, "If you strip, yes."

Hawks blinks, his ears visibly getting a hot shade of red but expressions forced to remain straight, "You really have some wild fantasies about me, babygirl. Tokoyami told me all of them."

You blink, "What?"

He smiles cheekily, "If I strip, you'll lose your head."

"No- Tokoyami did what?"

"Told me some stuff." he hums, "Told me I should get a spine to propose to you but then boom, you send the letter and it gets easier for me."

"He knew you liked me back?"

"Of course he did." Hawks pushes his boots to the side with his foot, "Don't you go getting mad at him," his hands plant on your hips, cheeks blooming red, "this is my payment for this request."

In another second, you're sitting in his lap.

"So, photoshoot." he clears his throat, unable to properly talk now that your body is pressed against his with your adorable eyes looking up at him in shock and embarrassment, "I-I'll use my phone."

[itsays]

luisa this is what it feels like to doompost about the chungha cb w u help

all the haarts on twitter r so excited about this whole thing so i’m like maybe i’m being too negative about this we r barely on cb #1 in more vision but then again it’s like… this is cb #1 n its already like this… this is how we’re starting. anyways i am hoping the song is a hit so badly n we get proven wrong but yeah i’m scared 😔

fjdjjsjajaj see fans on twt dont know shit about anything that's why they eat up anything! on one hand we are preventing ourselves from having fun by being negative. on the other we are dealing with jay park. and honestly likeeeee i cannot pretend not to be angry with how her career is being mismanaged AGAIN for the sake of just being happy with what we've got like im not built that way sjdjsjhs like i said ive been into kpop for TOO long like ive seen the rise and fall of many....

THAT BEEN SAID. i really liked the initial teaser so maybe not all is lost.... but maybe it is..... styling is giving jessi teasers are giving clc hobgoblin and i dont mean that in a good way like omg..... WHAT HAPPENED TO SERVING CUNT. it pissed me off bc this jay park man has no creative vision so everyone of his little minions are all going to look and sound the same. doesnt he get chungha is more of a pop icon type of soloist. does he not understand anything at all

[paegei]

MOANER, GROANER, OR WHIMPERER ?

what sounds do the seventeen members make in bed ?

NSFW CONTENT ! MDNI !

a/n: GUYS i am so sorry i haven't written in so long ╯︿╰ i lose motivation for things VERY easily. anywho,,, if anyone has any requests or anything feel free to send them in ! ( just be prepared for me to take my time to respond ϵ( ��Θ’ )϶ )

MOANER:

jeonghan:

when i tell you this man has the PRETTIEST moans i mean it. borderline angelic. every noise that comes out of his mouth has you on the verge of orgasm LITERALLY. he's upstaging you i'm sorry !

joshua:

the things i would do to hear him moaning.... 28:50 of the youngji interview is EMBEDDED in my brain. def more on the quiet side, his moans are pretty low in volume, but he is for SURE right next to your ear cuz he knows how much his moans affect you.

jun:

pathetic moans. PATHETIC. loud, whiny, GUTTURAL moans. he also has no shame. and i mean that. does not care how loud he's being. he has to let you know how good you make him feel, who cares about who hears ? also def makes those ah- ah- ah- sounds before he cums

minghao:

hao's moans are like josh's, low in volume but close enough for you to hear. gives me the vibes of someone who doesn't make much noise in bed, he prefers to focus on your blabbering, but when his sounds grace your ears, it is HEAVENLY. ( his moans are borderline whimpers too just saying )

seungkwan:

DEEP. DEEP. SO DEEP. yk that one good to me performance where he said "make some noise" in his deep ass voice ? yeah, that's his tone in bed. moans coming straight from the chest LAWDDDDDD. was pretty shy at first when it came to making noise, but after seeing how badly it affected you ( because who wouldn't go insane hearing them ), he just goes AT IT. unless he's in sub mode and is borderline sobbing

GROANER:

seungcheol:

bro. words could not describe how hot this man sounds ( i would know we're actually married ). GUTTERAL groaning. genuinely sounds like he is working out ＞︿＜ lets out a groan every time he pulls out, followed by a whimper when he shoves his cock back in :/

wonwoo:

practically inaudible with how deep his groans are. all you would be able to hear is this deep grumble. rarely likes making sounds in bed as he prefers to be all ears for your moans, but hey, sometimes good sex makes a man whimper okay there's nothing wrong with that :3

vernon:

kinda like jun, in the aspect that his groans have a pathetic tilt to them. every sound he makes, no matter how hard he tries to keep them in, just ends up sounding absolutely RUINED. im talking you'd think he was crying from how desperate he sounds ( maybe he is who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

chan:

he's right on the barrier between groans and gasps. OMLLLL HIS LITTLE GASP WHEN HE FIRST SLIPS IN !!!!!!!!!!! no shame either he wants to let the whole world know he's getting the best pussy of his LIFE. anime girl ~gah~ kinda noises IM SORRY

WHIMPERER:

jihoon:

dooooont care what you think. he WHIMPERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! his whimpers are very low in volume however, he knows that if the guys ever found out the little noises he makes for you he would be a goner. tries his hardest to hold the whines back, much to your dismay, but at least then you get the gorgeous sight of him biting his lip till it bleeds (/▽＼)

seokmin:

man does not care how embarrassing his sounds are he NEEDS you to know how good you feel. he is the EPITONE of whimpers. men be afraid to moan in their girls ear, but seokmin is sobbing out "f-fuck oh m- oh my god- 's good, 's good-" and other barely audible curses :3

mingyu:

his whimpers are WET sorrynotsorry. im saying he's borderline drooling. dumb puppy can't help it if your cunt feels so good :( sobs, cries, just the most desperate and shaky words tumbling from his mouth ( if he can still form words is a different story ).

ALL OF THE ABOVE:

soonyoung:

does not give a FUCK what noise he is making, he's just going for it. somehow sounds like whimpers, cries and growls all in one ?? also yes 80% of the time he is growling but are we suprised. just says any word that comes to his mind too. bro does nawt understand why people hold in their moans... if it feels good, it feels good you know ?

not proof-read ! lmk if there's any mistakes (づ￣ 3￣)づ

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

OH MY GOD SPENCER GOING INTO WORK WITHOUT A WORRY IJ THE WORLD JUST AS USUAL AND EVERYONE IS STARING AND SNICKERING AND HES LIKE “what what what happened” and lil baby boy got treated so right he forgot you left hickeys all over his neck.

ahhh YES!! okay this will be very self-serving bc i am season 1 spencer's actual wife (sorry if that sounds conceited lmao) Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (16+ for making out/suggestive themes)

Elle, Penny, and Morgan were always talking about their conquests, much to Hotch's chagrin. They learned to save the more risqué conversations for the bullpen when Hotch is cornered by Strauss and other higher ups.

Naturally, the conversation alway ended with playfully teasing Spencer for never having any stories about his conquests because he's knee deep in a Monday morning crossword puzzle while they talk about their late Friday nights.

Till one night, Spencer has a late night of his own. It was months in the making, Spencer still spent a lot of the time researching old cases and solving cold cases on his own in the archives department. It took him nearly three weeks to stop blushing every time he walked by your desk because you're either smiling up at him, eager to talk to him about the latest book you've both read or writing notes to slip into the stacks and stacks of paperwork from old cases he asks you to xerox.

Finally....finally. He builds up the courage to ask you out on a date. And of course it goes spectacularly. He's so charming, so perfectly handsome and sweet. It takes a couple dates for the physical aspect to meet up to the emotional aspect. But Spencer would go feral the first time you made out. You would sit yourself in his lap, loving the soft pressure of his hands on your waist.

He would be so whiny when you place your hands on his jaw, guiding him up for a kiss. Spencer would have the softest, most kissable lips that would turn so red and swollen from the slightest bit of kissing. He would be so eager, whimpering at every little touch you give him. It would boost your confidence to the max hearing him, seeing him get so flustered and eager.

Since Spencer needs some more time to adjust to the physical aspects of your relationship he would be thrilled just to mess around on the couch and then fall asleep in soft pjs wrapped up in blankets together.

Unfortunately for Spencer, he failed to realize that he didn't wear a shirt that covered the plethora of marks on his neck and collarbone. He shed his scarf, giving Derek and Elle a quizzical look when the wolfwhistle at him. He would roll his eyes, prepared for their sibling-like teasing.

"Well, well, well. Looks like the boy genius finally swiped that v-card." Elle teased, nodding Spencer's way and throwing Derek a teasing look.

"Finally, dude." Derek would say, walking over to clap Spencer on the back. "I hope you tipped her well."

Spencer would be fuming, unable to stop himself from turning red with embarrassment at Elle and Derek’s teasing. If he had a sliver of confidence he would describe in great detail exactly what happened last night, including how his girlfriend has the same marks under her turtleneck.

But Spencer isn’t a very confident man. Instead, he would have to let fate play out in his favor. Before Elle could get another quip out or Derek would snicker again, you came rushing in baked goods and coffee in tow.

“Spence! Ah,” you said, rushing towards Spencer’s desk ignoring his coworkers curious glances, “you rushed out before I made coffee. And breakfast” you placed the muffin, blueberry and lemon and the travel mug of steaming black coffee on his desk with a smile.

“Thanks,” Spencer said, bashfully looking around at Derek and Elle’s surprised faces. You kissed his cheek, the red sting of embarrassment burning into his cheeks.

“You’re going to need that coffee. We were going at it all night.”

Spencer’s eyebrow raised with worry as he saw Elle and Derek swap curious glances. Fear flooded your face, eyes full of embarrassment and regret as Spencer’s eyes melt into an unfamiliar confidence.

He placed his hand against your hip, pulling you in close for a quick, chaste kiss. He smiled too much, the kind of smile that threatens to make his muscles ache.

“Morgan, Elle, I want you to meet, Y/N. She’s the department librarian. And my girlfriend,”

[otomehoneyybearr]

Ikemen Prince 4th Anniversary Eve

Gilbert & Azel: The Relationship Unbeknownst to Anyone

Somewhere on a certain day—

Gilbert: "---I've always wondered if the conqueror beast and the sacred beast were one in the same."

Gilbert: "Both being evils of the world that control people and manipulate them as they please."

Azel: "I agree with the evil part. You and I would be better off not existing."

Azel: "We are both nuisances to the world, after all."

Gilbert: "Should we die together then?"

Azel: "You mean kill each other."

Gilbert: "That’s right."

Azel: "Disgusting."

Gilbert: "Agreed."

Azel: "So?"

Gilbert: "Hehe, no need to rush. I've went through the trouble of preparing food and drinks, so why not enjoy it first?"

Azel: "I'm having alcohol, while you're having water?"

Gilbert: "Oh, so you noticed."

Azel: "I am a god, after all."

Gilbert: "More like a con-artist, right?"

Azel: "That's another way to put it."

Gilbert: "Haha, you're not denying it."

Azel: "The title isn't that important."

Gilbert: "Really? I thought you’d be particular about it."

Azel: "Not at all. At least with you, being god or con-artist doesn't matter."

Azel: "I'm just a 'nuisance’ in the end, aren't I?"

Gilbert: "So you realized that."

Azel: "Just how many times do you think I've confiscated the weapons you smuggled into my country?"

Azel: "Can't you stop that? It's increasing my overtime and it's annoying."

Gilbert: "It only takes time because you carefully disassemble the firearms and send them back each time."

Gilbert: "Is that your hobby or something?"

Azel: "Do you want to be called a carefree rich boy?"

Gilbert: "Oh, so it was actually a declaration of war."

Azel: "If you understand that much, then don't bother asking. Tanzanite is the land of the gods,”

Azel: "So you should’ve realized by now that your spies and schemes are powerless in my sacred domain."

Gilbert: "Hmm, that's troublesome."

Gilbert: "It seems I miscalculated how difficult 'cleaning up' Tanzanite would be."

Gilbert: "Or perhaps I should say I underestimated you."

Gilbert: "Tanzanite has the lowest return rate for spies among the major countries."

Gilbert: "Currently you’re the only one from your country that's noticed my plans—No, more like, you're the only one at all."

Gilbert: "I thought that I could gather some information from you by sharing a drink, but..."

Gilbert: "You're quite hard to read. Is this what a god is like?"

Azel: "Donations are always welcome."

Gilbert: "Unfortunately for you, I only believe in myself."

Azel: "I figured as much. Spending time on you could be considered a waste."

Azel: "...Though a free meal does have its value."

Gilbert: "Haha, if you get along with me, there might be even better things in store for you."

Azel: "Not happening."

Gilbert: "Oh, that was an immediate answer. Despite us being somewhat similar."

Azel: "That's just slander."

Azel: "I don't distrust human potential as much as you do."

Azel: "Humanity doesn't need gods or beasts."

Gilbert: "...Is that so?"

Azel: "Want to bet?"

Gilbert: "Sure, sounds interesting."

Gilbert: "Your schemes are like mirages, vague and hard to grasp, but..."

Gilbert: "I'll bet on the foolishness of humans."

Azel: "Then I'll bet the opposite."

Azel: "I'll bet on the potential of humans."

Azel: "They have the ability to cleanse themselves. They can recognize and atone for their mistakes."

Azel: "Make sure to prepare your money, Disaster boy."

Gilbert: "You too."

Some little notes I had:

*: There's a possibility of Azel being older than Gilbert, seeing as he would attach things like (ーくん)-kun or (ーちゃん)-chan to the nicknames he gave Gilbert…That or Azel's was just trying to antagonize him.

**: Alternative interpretation of the nickname carefree rich boy could be 'airheaded/thoughtless young master'

***: Alternative interpretation of the nickname (厄災くん or yakusai-kun)Disaster boy could be 'Mr. Calamity'

I wasn't sure which of these interpretations would fit Azel's dialogue more, so I wanted to leave these notes so that everyone can get a general sense of the word/nickname.

Master List

▼・ᴥ・▼

[sosickastro]

Gojo and his "One Night Stand"

This was a request sent to me! WHOO

Yall 16 more days, and in officially done with school!

Warnings: Fem reader, broke college student reader, reader, and Gojo had sex but I didn't write it, self-doubt so some angst but it's okay at the end, Gojo being soft, Gojo breaking and entering, etc

Like usual let me know if I miss any tags, and this isn't proofread to awful grammar and wording. I am making my Grammarly work overtime.

word count?!: 1244- DAMN

Fem reader!

My eyes open to the harsh light streaming from the open window, I sit up slightly to get myself grounded as I feel a surge of goosebumps run down my body. I rub my sleep-filled eyes, trying to get a clear image... And oh-

OH.

Gojo’s white hair flies over his soft pillows as his naked upper half gives me enough context clues to remember what happened last night. The man before me is lying on his stomach, his arms hugging the pillow his head is resting on. I will take a look at my current situation. 

Underwear on

T-shirt on, but not mine. 

Pants no.

With as much grace as a shaken leaf, I get out of Gojo’s stupidly comfortable bed, as I scan around for my t-shirt and pants. Spotting both articles of clothing in the corner of the room. I hurried to take off Gojo’s shirt. My heartstrings tug at the consideration, but Gojo probably does that for every girl he sleeps with, just common courtesy. Nothing to it, yep. Totaly. I threw on the sweatpants I was wearing from the previous night. I slipped on my shoes and patted myself down to make sure I had my phone and house keys and I walked out of the very comfortable house, and out into the bright world. 

I make quick work walking down the sidewalk and mentally prepare myself for the 10-minute walk to my college dorm. I take the time to check my phone. It's 10:00 in the morning, so Gojo shouldn't be up for a while. I look through my social media and respond to a few friends. Before shoving my phone back into my pocket as my residential hall comes into sight. I grab my key as my phone starts to sound off.

Gojo:

10:00 -Where did you go?

10:13

-Hello?

10:13

-Why did you leave ;(

I stare at my phone, my grip shaking I stare at my phone long enough for another message to show up

Gojo

10:15

-Did I do something…baby?

I swallowed down the lump in my throat as I unlocked my front door and rushed up the 2 flights of stairs into my dorm room. Luckily my roommate is gone for classes, unluckily I don’t have someone to consult with. I harshly sat on my worn mattress as my fingers danced around the keyboard, trying to think of something to say. 

But as if God was against me, which he probably is, Gojo texts me again. 

Gojo

10:23

-Did you go back to your dorm?

-Please answer me

-You are worrying me

I let out a shaky sigh as I screamed inside my head. I run my head half-hazards, and run my hands through my hair, as I send Gojo a simple ‘Yeah.’ I throw my phone onto my bed, I can’t stomach looking at the metal device. To see what he could respond to, to see the message saying I am worrying him. There is no way he cares this much, we just had a one-night stand. That is, that's all, no feelings, no strings, nothing. Even if Gojo was my first, there isn't any way he feels an ounce of love for me. I am just another virginity he took. I bite back the tears threatening to fall as the self-doubt flows through my core. 

I need a shower, yeah. A hot, very hot shower to help me. I grabbed my shower bag and a clean towel and headed down the hall. As I suspected, the hot steam and burning of the water did help a lot, I slipped on clean shorts and an old hoodie, making sure I grabbed all of my things, and I stepped back into the dingy and old hallway. I brush my hair as I walk closer to my room, but I stop when I see my door wide open. A million thoughts came rushing to my head. Did I leave the door open? No, that isn't possible, it's not. Did someone break it? Or is it just my roommate, the rushing thoughts came to an end when I saw the same snow-white hair man sitting on my bed, my phone in his slender hands. 

My breath came to a stop as I couldn't help but stare at just how drop-dead pretty Gojo truly was. It makes sense why a lot of girls want to sleep with me. I coughed a small bit to announce my presence as I closed the door behind me. The tension between us becomes more unbearable now that the door is trapped me in here with him. I set down my bathroom stuff as Gojo came up behind me, his long arms wrapped around me, as he wordlessly pulled me closer to him. His collage invaded my smell and I couldn't help to become weak at our closeness. Gojo buries his head into my neck, giving me soft, also sweet kisses.

“Did I do something, baby? I was so confused when I woke up by myself.” He whispers close to my ear, the guilt eats me whole as I hear the concern in his voice. Gojo places more kisses along my neck, before ending one at my temple. He holds me, he holds me with so much love and tenderness I couldn't help but break down in his arms. The quiet sobs alert the taller man behind me as he spins me around to hug my front. I bury my head into the comfort of his chest as I don’t want to leave this comfort ever again. Gojo hums to me, cooing and ultimately trying to calm me down. After a few heartbeats, I spoke out to him

“I just… didn't think you would want to see me after last night” A hiccup escapes my throat as my crying creases to a stop. Gojo runs his head through my damp hair as he places a kiss on the crown of my head. “What makes you think that baby hm’?” He softly speaks to me, I shake my head as I finally wrap my arms around his waist. “Just’ you don't like me and” I took in a deep breath to stop myself from crying again. “And you never want to see your one-night stands, and that is what I am.” Gojo stops his hands as he tears me away from his chest, forcing me to look up into his blue eyes.

The seriousness swirling in his eyes, as his hands hold my shoulders. “You are so dumb, baby” I pout at his mean words, one of his hands came up to cup my cheek, running his thumb under my eyes, collecting a few stray tears. “I love you, baby, I would never have slept with you if there weren't any feelings.” He says to me, I make an effort to protest that before Gojo covers my mouth with his hand,

“The other woman I got with, was years ago and it all stopped when I fell in love with you.” Gojo uncovers my mouth, as he leans in to capture them. The kiss was soft and full of love, more tears fell down my face, as Gojo’s thumbs whipped them away. Gojo pulled away from me, as he guided me back into his chest. We stood there for a while, basking in each other's warmth. Unspoken love flowed between the two of us. 

----------------------------------

YAY

[miela]

Shattered Memories

Prologue

Pairing: Peter Parker x Silk!Avenger!Stark!Reader Length: Series (Longish, maybe a little over 10 chapters) Series Genre(s): Romance with Dramatic and Comedic undertones (if you squint) Series Theme(s): Fluff, Angst, Smut Series Summary: After Peter sacrificed his identity for the sake of the world, five years go by before he finds you back in his life again. Series Warnings: Mentions of substance abuse, alcoholism, s*icidal thoughts, and possible abusive relationship (not Peter x Y/N) in later chapters. warnings subject to change. Please proceed with caution. Extra Content: One of my OCs are in here! Let me know if you want me to make a character list to reference.

Masterlist

➼ divider by cafekitsune

In the sky there is a crackling sound as a jagged purple band of fluorescent and electric strips open in the air like someone took a knife and cut open the blue of the sky. Peter swung over by your friends, while you swung around the premise of the Statue of Liberty to make sure that no one was left behind from needing to go back to their proper universe. It was a crazy few days. It was a crazy week really. First, going to Italy on the school trip just for it to be interrupted demands from Fury to Mysterio making out Peter to be public enemy number one to this, fighting people from different dimensions just to fix everything.

Just as you thought things couldn’t get any worse, you weren’t prepared for what was next.

“You’re okay!” Michelle Jones-Watson, aka MJ, exclaimed once Peter swung by them. 

They all joined in on a group hug before Peter pulled back from them and studied them worriedly. “Are you okay?” He asked.

“Yeah, we’re okay.” MJ said with a sigh of relief. 

At that moment you swung down as well as you took off your spider mask while catching your breath. “Well, that was another successful adventure for the Iron Spider Gang!” 

MJ and Ned let out exhausted chuckles with you as Celina smiles big. Everyone looked exhausted and honestly you were exhausted. Your shoulders dropped in relief before Peter grabbed your face gently with his gloved hands, noticing the gash on the temple of your forehead above you eye. His touch took you by surprise as you looked up at him wondrously.

“Oh my god,” He exclaimed as he scanned your face for other injuries. “You’re bleeding…!” 

You had gotten the cut during the battle and you had gotten worse injuries before, and each and every time, Peter got so concerned…even if he was in worse condition.

“Oh this? ‘Tis nothing but a scratch, Parker.” You smiled softly. “I’m sure it’s already halfway healed.”

He looked into your eyes filled with worry and a hint of skepticism. “Are you sure?” He rubs his thumbs over the apples of your cheeks gently and lovingly.

“I’m fine,” You smile reassuringly. “I’m okay, I promise.”

His shoulders dropped in relief. “Okay….okay….good.” He then turned to look at yours and his friends, Ned, MJ and Celina, to make sure they were okay. They all gave him tight and thin lipped reassuring smiles and nods in response.

“Um…We should go then, right?” MJ asked after a moment. 

“Yeah,” You nodded. “I can summon the Quinjet and we can be home in no time.”

For a moment, Peter struggles to find the words to tell you guys the truth of how this mission will end. Thunder echoed in the sky as you all looked up to see the purple rips that dance across the sky. Doctor Stephen Strange, a sorcerer, was levitating in the sky casting a spell that is meant to solve the merging of the multiverse issue. 

Peter let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes and pursed his lips together for a moment before speaking those dreaded words that you never thought you would ever hear in your life. 

 “You’re gonna forget who I am.”

All four of you look at him confused. 

“What?” Ned asked, voicing what all of you were thinking. 

“Forget who you are…? What are you talking about?” MJ added.

Celina cocked her head to the side in confusion.

You, who has been through the craziest of situations and knew that anything and everything was possible due to your thankless job as an avenger, caught on to what he was meaning very quickly. You looked up at the purple rips, to Strange and then to the spell before looking at Peter horrified for an elaboration in hopes that he didn’t mean what you thought he meant. 

Peter noticed your expression and continued. “It’s okay. I’m gonna come and find you, and I’ll explain everything.” 

All your faces fall as you realize that he definitely meant what you were afraid of him meaning. 

“No…”  was all that you could manage coming out of your mouth. It sounded almost pleading. 

Peter cradled your face again and looked into your eyes with determination. “I’ll make you remember me, and it will be like none of this ever happened. Okay?”

MJ, in a slightly panicked state, replied. “Okay, but what if that doesn’t work?”

“Yeah!” you agreed, tearing up. “What if…What if that doesn’t work? What if we can’t remember you? I don’t want to do that. I don’t…I don’t wanna do that, Peter. I don’t want to do that…” You shook your head rapidly.

 “I know, (Y/N),” He cradled your face again and looked into your eyes sadly. “I know.”

“But…Is there not something we can do? We can come up with a plan or something! There’s always something we can do…We always find a way. Always. It's literally our job…!” You began thinking of other ways immediately. “What about…what about…” You were at a loss for words as you tried to scramble up an idea from your scattered brain.

Peter shook his head. “There’s nothing we can do.” He brushed his thumbs over your cheek and wiped away your tears before adding reassuringly. “But it’ll be okay.”

“No,” you say again, shaking your head rapidly again as your vision becomes blurred because of your tears. “No, no, no, no….no, Peter, please there must be another way.” you hold on to his arms with an iron grip as you start shaking in fear. “There’s always another way…!”

How could anyone think that you could accept this? You and Peter always had each other’s backs, especially in battle and on missions. You two were a perfect pair, a match made in heaven. How could you let yourself forget him? 

You wouldn’t let yourself forget him. 

You wanted to graduate with him. You wanted to enjoy the summer before college with him. You wanted to go school supply shopping with him and help him pick out stuff for his dorm room. You wanted to help him move in and set up his room and then spend the rest of the night watching your favorite movies together. You wanted to go to a halloween party with him as you wear matching costumes and be cute together as he introduces you to all of his new friends. You had a plan to make a friendsgiving and you wanted him to be there. You wanted to spend Christmas together and go ice skating and snowboarding. You wanted to move in together and spend the rest of your lives together.

But you couldn’t do all of that if you couldn’t remember who he was now could you? 

“We will find another way.” 

“(Y/N)...” 

“No! Peter, I-I can’t accept this. What if it doesn't work?” You sniffled out as you let your mind race with the possibilities of what could go wrong with this horrendous plan. “You’ll be all alone…”

MJ tried to catch her breath, as Ned’s eyes brimmed with tears. Celina was silently crying. The air was thick but at the same time, it was way, way, way too thin. You felt both hot and cold at the same time and you could’ve sworn your body was going into shock over this.

“Hey, hey…” Peter cradled your face again. “Look at me.”

You looked up at him with sad eyes and a quivering lip. 

 “What’s your name?” He asked.

“(Y/N) S-stark.” You sniffled out.

“That’s right,” He smiled softly. “And what are you?”

“An Avenger.” 

“And what do Avengers do?”

“Save the world,” You replied again, you swallowed hard as you tried to not to scream and sob. “W-we save the world.”

“And how do we plan to do that?” he asked, referring to the two of you.

You recalled the day you both became the dynamic duo of the Avengers. You both had promised that you would always stick together no matter what. You both were two halves of one emotionally and biologically, since you both were bitten by the same spider. 

“Together,” You gave him a small smile remembering the first time you guys made that oath. “Until the bitter end. Like we promised.”

“And I keep my promises, yeah?” He smiled sweetly. “This isn’t the bitter end. Not yet. I will come and find you.” He glanced up at the others. “All of you.”

Ned looked down for a moment before speaking. “You promise?”

 Peter turned to Ned and looked at him with a reassuring smile. “Yeah,” He let go of your face and walked over to his best friend. “I promise.”

Peter and Ned did a bittersweet version of their special handshake. It was almost heartbreaking to see due to how…final it felt. Then Peter pulled Ned into a hug. 

“I’ll come find you, okay?”

“I know you will,” Ned smiled sadly. 

When they pulled back from the hug, Peter turns to MJ and Celina. He goes over by Celina first.

Celina’s shoulder shook as she hiccuped from crying. Peter worried for her since they’ve been attached at the hip since they were little. They were practically siblings and she would be losing the last of her family…and he would be losing the last of his. But he knew she would be in good hands with how strong the bond of your friends group was.

“Hey,” he started. “I know you’ve been thinking about training with Strange. I think you should do it, Who knows you might need to use a spell one day.” He smiled at her and petted her head endearingly. “You’ll do great out there. I'll always be your big bro, Celi.”

Her lip quivered as she nodded and hugged him tightly. He hugged her back and kissed her head. She’s always been like a little sister to him, despite them being the same age. Once she pulled back from the hug she went over to Ned and hugged him as she cried into his shoulder. Peter then turned to MJ. 

“You better come find us.” She sniffled. “If you don’t, I’m just gonna figure it out. I’ve done it before, I can do it again.” She let out a barely-there soft chuckle. “And I will do it again.”

He hugged her for a moment before saying. “I promise I’ll fix this mess.”

He turns back to you again as you look at him and nod knowingly. There was nothing you could do and you knew that this was for the greater good…even if you hated the hell out of the idea of it. 

“You better come find us, Parker. Do you hear me?” You said sternly as you poked his chest. “You better come find me. If you won’t then I’ll come find you myself. And If I have to come find you…I swear to the fucking heavens and Asgard, If I have to come find you…I’ll kick your ass into another dimens-” 

His lips were on yours in a deep, passionate and desperate kiss, and you returned the kiss back while wrapping your arms around his neck. He kissed you like it was the last time you guys would ever kiss and you returned the energy of the exchange. After a moment he reluctantly pulled back slowly and leaned his forehead on yours softly. 

“I really fucking hate magic,” You stated.

Peter laughed softly with a knowing grin. “Yeah,” He replied. “Me too.”

You guys stood there for a moment in each other’s arms in a moment of silence before you spoke up.

“I love you, Peter.” you said to him as you cradled his face as you looked into his eyes.

He looked back into your eyes sadly and endearingly. “I-I lov-”

“Just wait,” You interjected. “Hold on to it and tell me when you see me again.”

“Sure,” Peter responded. “As long as you promise that you won't think I’m some creep and kick my ass.”

You let out a laugh and looked down at your chest for a moment before you pulled at the chain that was under your suit revealing your necklace. You hold it in your hands in a fist for comfort as you close your eyes and sighed deeply with determination. It’s the necklace Peter gave you when you first told you that he loved you. It was a silver spider necklace with two red rubies on it. You thought it was both sweet as heck and corny as hell, but that’s what you loved about it and that’s what you loved about Peter. You unclasped the necklace and looked at it for a moment before putting it in his hand and pushing his fingers down to his palm gently so he could hold it. He looked at you wondrously in response. 

“Give this back to me once you find me.” You smiled softly. “I promise I'll remember you.”

The sky around you all began rumbling even more as the sorcerer did his work. The new spell was taking effect and you wish you could freeze time, just so you could memorize Peter’s face a little longer. Hold his hand a little longer. Kiss his lips a little longer. Although you never took for granted the time you both spent together, it still felt like there wasn’t enough time spent together.

Crazy how things can change in a blink of an eye.

You all looked at the sky for a moment before looking back to each other sadly and eyes full of hope that this was just some horrible, messed up nightmare. Peter and you met eyes and he pulled you into another passionate kiss and you returned the kiss back. After a moment he pulled back again, hating the idea of having to do it.

“I promise, I’ll give this back to you.” He whispered, trying not to cry. 

“I know you will,” You smiled sadly. “Or else I’ll take it back from you instead.”

He let out a choked laugh. 

“This isn’t goodbye,” He added. “Just a see you later.”

“I’ll see you later,” You choked out. “Call me around seven? The usual time?”

He chuckled. “Yeah,” he nodded. “I’ll explain everything then.” 

He planted a long soft kiss on your forehead before he pulled away and stepped back reluctantly. You let your fingers glide along his shoulders and arms and hands as he moved. You both hesitated for a moment before you held each other's hands for a long moment before letting go. The feeling was heartbreaking, agonizing and agoraphobic. You wanted nothing more than to latch yourself on to him and never let go as if that would force you to never forget him. 

You guys never broke eye contact for that entire moment as if you were trying to find a way to keep the connection between you two alive for as long as possible.

He sighed one last time and jumped onto the ledge you all were standing in behind and looked up at Strange, who nodded at him as a last goodbye. Peter had a knowing look on his face….a look of ultimate defeat and the acceptance of it. He looked back at you one last time, taking in your form like a photograph in his mind. 

Although you would forget him, he would never forget you.

You mouthed “I love you, Peter Parker.” With a reassuring smile.

He gave you a sad smile before swinging off the edge. It all hit you right then and there and you let out a choked sob as you collapsed onto the ground and cried so hard you thought your body was going to explode. You had lost so much…so, so much and now you had to lose something else…someone else.

You don’t remember your friends trying to catch you when your legs gave out on you, you don’t remember the spell passing through you, and it only took a moment before you didn’t remember why you were crying. 

~

[thebat-musicman]

The Playlist™

My 12 hour Batfam playlist (with repeating songs!)

The repeating version has 200 songs and is 12 hours. Non repeating has 167 songs and is 9 hours and 54 minutes.

I am so sorry to whatever poor souls are reading this just trying to find good songs for their faves

@batfambrainrotbeloved it’s done

The bat-playlist from hell is under the cut

Alfred

Be our guest

Let it be

Sweet caroline

You are my sunshine

God is really real

Istanbul (not Constantinople)

50 ways to say goodbye (him faking Bruce’s death when he went training)

What was I made for

No time to die

James Bond theme

I got you

Child of Mine

Little Lion man

You’ll be in my heart

Never grow up

Edelweiss

Baby mine

Friend like me

My heart will go on

Bruce

Never grow up

Everything has changed

I hate it here

I look in people’s windows

imgonnagetyouback

Karma (AJR)

Humpty Dumpty

Inertia

Two birds

Cat’s in the cradle

Song for Orphans

Tears in heaven

Heart of stone

Robin

Whatever it takes

ocean eyes

Migraine

I’ll make a man out of you

Under the Sea

Beautiful Boy (darling boy)

Babs

The story of us

Just a girl

Clara Bow

Role Models

Break my face

The DJ is crying for help

Little miss perfect

She used to be mine

Mastermind

Pretty distraction

So high school

How did it end

Fight song

You should see me in a crown

The man

Runs the world (girls)

I bet you think about me

Inertia

Ours

Part of your world

Dick

I can do it with a broken heart

Touchy feely fool

Never grow up

The Bolter

Surface Pressure

You’re on your own, kid

Because of you

Karma (AJR)

Way less sad

Perfect (simple plan)

Father of mine

This is me trying

Count on me

The Greatest Show

No way

Mr. Perfectly fine

Dancing Queen

Show and Tell

How far I’ll go

Used to be young

Cass

Who’s afraid of little old me

Cassandra

The Albatross

Father of mine

You’re on your own, kid

Heart of stone

Fight song

Everybody wants to rule the world

She used to be mine

Family Line

Because of you

Roar

You should see me in a crown

I won’t

When will my life begin

The prophecy

I hate it here

Speechless

I’ve got a dream

Blackbird

Jason

The Prophecy

Mr. Perfectly fine

Better than Revenge

I did something bad

My tears ricochet

Vigilante shit

You’re gonna go far, kid

Time of dying

Deja vu

good 4 u

Because of you

Father of mine

These boots were made for walking

Fuck you

One way or another

Bang! Pow! Boom!

Be prepared

One jump ahead

Vampire

I think I’m gonna like it here (baby jason needs a song)

Steph

Record Player

Turning out Pt. II

The Dumb Song

Just a girl

Cardigan

The Man

But daddy I love him

the manuscript

Guilty as Sin?

Father of mine

Dead!

Teenagers

You’re on your own, kid

Mr. Perfectly Fine

High school sweethearts

Drama Club

My Play

Devil Town

This is love (air traffic controller)

I won’t say (I’m in love)

Tim

Ur gonna wish u believed me

Yes I’m a mess

Karma (AJR)

Mastermind

Don’t blame me

Fool

Wow, I’m not crazy

Humpty Dumpty

Good 4 u

Pretender (Acoustic)

Mister Cellophane

Come hang out

Let the games begin

Heart of stone

brutal

Deja vu

Every breath you take

The sound of silence

Go the distance

Viva La Vida

Duke

Here comes the sun

Walking on sunshine

I see the light

How do I say goodbye

The Prophecy

Turning out

Sunshine lollipops and rainbows

Teenagers

Our song

Demons

I’m still standing

Waiting on a miracle

I’m not famous

Paper rings

We didn’t start the fire

Everybody dies

What was I made for

I’ll follow the sun

Sunflower

Into the Unknown

Damian

Insane

Oh no!

Surface Pressure

Control

The good part

Role models

Mother knows best

Bad guy

What else can I do

Devil Town

Bones

Rät

Maniac

Losing my religion

(Don’t fear) The Reaper

Heathens

Pumped up kicks

Go the distance

A whole new world

I just can’t wait to be king

[purplecoffee13]

Mr Sunshine - Part Three

Summary: “Harry takes you somewhere to celebrate, and it leads to some clarifying revelations.”

Wc: 5k (I’m guessing)

Tropes: grumpy!mc x sunshine!H

Warnings: talks about being drugged, SA, trauma

A/N: Hi! I’m back😎. Here’s the new sunshine chapter and the next one will be coming soon (and will be steamy! Be prepared!)

Series Masterlist

General Masterlist

************************************************

On Saturday evening, at 3:34 p.m. to be exact, Harry calls you. You aren’t quite sure why you remembered the exact minute. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that you rarely ever received calls from anyone that wasn’t your family. You had never thought it to be pathetic, but knowing the exact time at which he called made you realize that maybe it was.

You stare at your phone with a frown on your face. What on earth could Harry be calling you for? Once out of your state of shock, you scramble to grab your phone and answer his call.

“Hello?” You say, in a rather confused tone. For a second you wonder if something terrible has happened. Maybe he is in the hospital!

“Guess what.” Harry says from the other side of the line in his usual chipper tone. You roll your eyes and let yourself fall back onto your bed. You guess you’re glad he isn’t dying, but what on earth could he be calling you for then? And now you had to guess it? This guy could never just cut to the chase.

“What?” You huff.

“You have to guess, otherwise it’s not fun.” He insists, a breathy chuckle escaping his throat. “So… guess!”

“The world is ending.” You reply in your staple, monotone voice, laced with a thick layer of sarcasm. A sigh sounded from the other end of the phone.

“Is there not an ounce of positivity in your entire body?”

“What?” You faked your offense, trying to get on his nerves for once. “You told me to guess.”

“But why is it that something sinister like imminent doom is the first thing that comes to your mind?” He asks, sounding genuinely puzzled about it. You fight your lips from quirking up.

“I mean, it’s bound to happen eventually.” You shrug, even though he can’t see you. “I figure, if I guessing it, one day I ought to be right.”

“I will never be asking you to guess anything ever again.”

“Smart boy.” You praise him. “Now are you gonna tell me what’s up?”

“Right, yes.” Harry takes a deep breathe. “I passed— the test, I mean. I got an A.”

You smile, but try your hardest not to let it show in the way you talk. “I told you you were gonna ace it, dumb ass.

“Thanks… I think?” Harry replies after a few seconds of silence born out of confusion. He chuckles ever so awkwardly, shaking his head at your unusual ways. You can’t see it of course, but he is grinning from ear to ear. You are the first one he called actually. There was no one in the world he would’ve rather told first. Not even his mom, who had been drilling him about the exam for the past weeks.

“Yeah, never doubt you teacher again.” You say sarcastically, laughing along with your friend on the line.

“I won’t, I promise.” Harry assures you. “But it’s not the only reason I called you, though.”

Your swear you feel your heart stand still for a second. An overwhelming amount of anxiety takes over your body the second the sentence falls from Harry’s mouth and you find yourself beginning to sweat.

“Oh?” Is all you manage to say.

“I am also calling to tell you that you need to be ready by eight.”

“Why?”

“We are going to celebrate of course!” Harry’s voice rings through your phone and your eyes close as you let out a little sigh and mutter an ‘oh God’.

“God won’t release you from the wrath of my grip, sunshine.” You quite literally hear the smirk in his voice.

“Now who’s being sinister?” You say, shaking your head slowly.

“Well, I learned from the best, didn’t I?”

“And the brightest.” You add cheekily.

“Sure. Be ready at 8.” Harry reminds you. You give him a small ‘yes’ as a confirmation, but before you can hang up, Harry adds: “oh, and don’t bring your ego, it won’t fit in the car.”

You let out a loud sigh in response and hang up the phone, but your cheeks are burning and your mouth hurts. Weird, your mouth never hurts. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and instantly relax those muscles. This is ridiculous. You will not be giggling over some guy.

“Stupid girl.” You murmur, pointing to your own reflection in the mirror.

But your confrontation with yourself does not quite stop you from counting down the hours until it is acceptable to get ready. You take a long shower and blow dry your hair, instead of letting it dry like you normally do. You also apply more make-up than you do on the regular. You would wear more make-up on a daily basis—you love to use it—but you have a tendency to oversleep.

Instead of the usual five to ten, it actually takes you fifteen minutes to pick out an outfit. There is a dress that has been hanging in your closet for far too long. And you really want to wear it, as this is the first time in almost a year that you have made concrete plans with a friend. The thought of it pains your stomach. God you have really isolated yourself ever since…

Oh well, that’s all changed now. You actually have a friend these days, or at least you think?

Nevertheless, you spend ten of the fifteen minutes wondering if the dress is not too much (it is the most casual dress you have hanging in your closet), and then you spend the remaining five actually putting the piece of clothing on your body.

It is 7:30pm by the time you give yourself one last look in the mirror. You put on a comfortable pair of high boots and wait on the couch until Harry arrives. You sent him your address after the call, and so far you haven’t gotten any messages about him being lost, so you think he’s good.

Sure enough, at 8:00pm on the dot, the bell rings. You force yourself to slowly walk to your door—you have no idea why—and take a breath before you open it up.

Upon opening the door, you are met with Harry’s wide smile—which he always wears. His hands are in his pocket and you watch his mouth slowly open—as if to say something—and close again before letting his eyes trail down your body. He looks quite surprised. You don’t blame him—you aren’t often in clothes like these.

Harry himself is dressed up a bit too. Not as much, but he doesn’t need to if he wants to look good; he just kind of does. The all black outfit works for him. The short sleeved dress shirt and the pants go perfectly together, as do the boots and belt he paired them with. You’re almost jealous of him for making such a simple outfit look so fabulous.

“You look…” Harry says, then trails off while he does a weak attempt at trying to find your eyes again. You are the most beautiful person he’s ever seen, how can that be? “Wow.”

“Wow?” You echo.

“Unexpected.”

“I look unexpected?” The corner of your mouth lifts but you hold it as best as you can.

“No— I mean yes— wait…” He frown, as lost in his words as you are, and thinks for a second before offering his final answer. “Yes, you look unexpected.”

“In a way that makes me want to say ‘thank you’ or throw the door in your face?” You tilt your head ever so slightly. Harry chuckles and shakes his head.

“I just mean to say that you always look good, and tonight you look good in an unexpected way.” You notice his cheeks turning a bit pink, and in turn so do your own. You have to bite the inside of your cheek to refrain yourself from giggling like a fucking idiot.

“Well, thank you, then.” You say. Harry murmurs a ‘your welcome’ and nods his head to the car before taking a few steps back, signaling you walk with him. You close your front door, lock it, and follow him to his car. He opens the door for you, and upon entering the car you don’t forget to tell him that he’s an ‘idiot’, but your heart flutters anyway.

Harry is mysteriously vague about where he’s planning on taking you, and he doesn’t say anything other than ‘you’ll see’ the entire drive. Your stomach drops when you finally do see.

You are parked in front of the frat house that was throwing a party tonight. You were already confused as to why you guys were driving through campus, but now you know why; it’s the quickest way to get there.

Your terror filled stare finds Harry’s face, who wears some sort of a pride filled smirk, but it fades a bit at the sight of you. You are starting to freak out. What the hell does he think he’s doing?

“Hey, it’s okay.” He says in a soft voice, but you just shake your head. Instead of saying anything else, he steps out of the car and walks to the door on your side, opening it for you. He holds out his hand, and despite the slight panic that has been ringing through your body, you take it. Harry leads you to the trunk of the car. He lets go of your hand to open it, and when he does, you’re met with three cool-boxes, all lined up in a row. When he takes off all the lids, you see what is inside.

Every cool-box has different drinks in them. The far left one has got water, sparkling water, and water with different tastes to it. The middle one has all kinds of sodas, and the one on the right is filled with juices and smoothies. Apple juice, orange juice, a mango and banana smoothie… you name it.

Your mouth hangs slightly open, taking in the view of the trunk. You want to form a full sentence but your mind can’t comprehend much right now.

“What…” You begin to say, but your mind trails off.

“You said you don’t drink at parties, at all.” Harry turns his body towards you, despite the fact that you are still staring at the cool-boxes. “I don’t know why that is—and you don’t have to tell me—but I assumed it had something to do with a bad experience. Anyway— I thought this was the perfect solution. This way we can stay hydrated and nothing can happen to the drinks because the car is locked. You can keep the car key in your purse if that makes you more comfortable.”

You don’t say anything, just stare at him with wide eyes. Harry isn’t quite certain what your take on the matter is, and it is starting to make him doubt his decisions.

“I— I’m sorry if this crosses a line. I just really wanted to bring you along and meet my friends.” He scratches the back of his neck as a nervous tic. His jaw is clenched the entire time as he looks back into your eyes. Your gaze is terrifying to him, in spite of it seeming softer than normal.

“Thank you, dork.” You say after finally being able to gather your breath. It makes you realize that you are utterly screwed. You like Harry. As more than a friend? Maybe? You don’t know, you haven’t experienced something like that before, but you know that your connection with Harry runs deeper than you had planned.

“My pleasure, sunshine.” Harry responds, and his dimples start to show. Your head turns back to the cool-boxes, hoping Harry can’t see the blood that has rushed to your cheeks. You start eyeing all the drinks, but settle on water in the end.

“Can I?” You ask ever so hesitantly. Harry gets all fuzzy the second you ask the question, and happily nods. He watches with a big smile as you reach for the water and open up the bottle, sitting against the trunk as you take a few sips.

There is no exchange of words between the two of you, only glances. But those tell you a thousand things, though. He seems to be pleased, and your eyes tell him that you are too. In a burst of spontaneity—and something else that you are not sure of what it is—you begin to confess.

“Uhm, in my first year, I went to this party at a frat house, and someone spiked my drink.” You say, and Harry’s head flies to you. He is frowning. You aren’t sure whether that is just him concentrating or actually being shocked by your statement. You decide to take your eyes off him and keep looking straightforward. “I was unconscious and then when I woke up, I was lying on a bed with this random guy over me…”

Harry’s hand is balled up into a fist, initially because of the nervousness, but now he’s hurting himself with how hard his nails press into his palm. He never really gets angry, but these are situations in which he just can’t hide his pure unfiltered rage.

“But I did scream, a—and I said no. But it was a bit slurred, I think.” You say with wide eyes, still staring into the distance. You always quick to defend yourself on this topic, even though Harry hasn’t uttered a word yet. It is kind of preventive, you assume. That way no one can ask you what you did ‘to stop it’ and you won’t have to break out in tears, because questions like those form a lump in your throat that you fear will never go away.

“He should have never gotten alone with you in the first place, sunshine. He’s the one at fault here, not you.” Harry assures you, and your gaze automatically searches for his. It doesn’t feel quite as scary anymore to look him in the eyes. You suppose it always has felt safe.

“And he is also a dead man walking, if I ever find him.”

Your eyebrows raise at his aggressive comment. Harry had never talked about anything remotely resembling to violence. It truly catches you off guard, but it also makes your heart warm to see that he is so adamant about defending you.

“Anyway…” you trail off, hoping to calm him down a bit with the positive end to your story. “two girls in the hallway heard me and they got him off me. My roommate at the time brought me to the ER, and after that I went home.”

You temporarily pause when you hear the sigh that comes from Harry’s mouth. It doesn’t sound bored or rude, rather tired. Like he feels the weight of the burden you have carried on your shoulder for so long. Besides your parents and your former roommate, no one knows this story.

“After that, I didn’t really want to drink or go anywhere anymore. Eventually I got over my fear of going to social events, but I still don’t want to drink anything. Maybe it’s paranoid, I don’t know.” You shrug, massaging your neck a bit, mainly out of awkwardness.

“It’s not paranoia’, it’s trauma.” Harry bents down to meet your eye level, making sure you see him when he says the reassuring words. The logical part of your brain knew that, but sometimes you would get frustrated. You hated how long you had let this experience rule your life for the past three years, and quite frankly you were embarrassed about it.

You felt like getting drugged that night shattered what you thought you knew about yourself, and still do. You don’t trust yourself like you did before. That night was the ultimate example of your incompetence; it showed you that you couldn’t be trusted with yourself. It took years of therapy to mend that broken view, and the destructive thinking pattern would re-enter your brain at times.

“I don’t have many friends, none actually; my past experiences made it a bit tricky.” You blurt out, and turn red when you see Harry smile at you with his furrowed brows. “I mean— what I’m trying to say is: thank you.”

“For what?” He nudges you in your waist. You shake your head at him, a faint smirk lingering on your lips from his teasing touch.

“For being a friend.” You say, and Harry’s mouth falls open.

“Did you just refer to me as a friend?!” He gasps dramatically, leaning into you as the sentence leaves his mouth. You close your eyes and let your head fall back.

“Oh god.” You mutter tiredly. Here we go.

“Can you say that again? I want to record this.” He whips out his phone and you put your hands over your face as you let out a groan.

“You know you’re basically saying you love me more than anyone else in the world right now.” He begins to annoy you, knowing damn well what he is doing. You refuse to answer him, not wanting to play into these antics of his. “I’m interpreting your silence as a yes, by the way.”

“You know what? I’m gonna walk home.” You push yourself off the trunk. You want to walk away a few steps for dramatic effect, and like you expected, Harry puts a stop to his teasing. You don’t expect him to pull you back by your waist and turn you around towards him, though. It catches you off guard and you can’t do anything but stare at him with wide eyes.

“You’re not going anywhere.” He says, voice rougher than just a few seconds ago. Your hands are still on his chest from trying to catch yourself when he spun you towards him. The proximity of it all slowly starts to get to you, and suddenly you’re aware of how good Harry smells. He always smells good, but right now it is causing a physical reaction from you. You feel yourself start to get hot, as if the temperature just rose a couple degrees.

“Let’s go inside.”

And so you do. Harry grabs your hand like it’s no big deal, and you spend the short walk to the frat house trying to convince yourself of the same. Once inside, you stay a bit closer behind Harry, holding his bicep with your free hand as he leads you through the house.

What you don’t know is that Harry is freaking out inside at how you are touching him. He can’t believe it; you are here with him and you’re holding him like he’s yours. Even though he’s not, but he is enjoying the idea for now.

You enter the backyard, and it is full of people you have seen on campus or in class. Most people don’t bat an eye at you; they are mainly focused on Harry. A few look a bit confused at the sight of Harry with a girl, but you try your best not to overthink it all. You both finally arrive at where Harry’s friends are standing, and he is quick to introduce you.

“Everyone, this is Y/N. The girl who saved my life this term.” He says proudly, and he catches his friends looking at him knowingly. They’re probably going to be a bit of a pain in the ass, but he hopes maybe it’ll make you realize that he likes you as more than just a friend.

You smile and let go of Harry’s hand when you see two of his friends glance at it. You lean closer and greet each friend individually with a handshake. The last one, Mikey, offers you a drink and you kindly refuse. So far, it’s going great.

“How come we haven’t seen you at parties before, Y/N?” Another friend of Harry asks. You fiddle with your hands a bit, nervous because you haven’t met this many people at the same time in a long time, and you haven’t cared what this many people thought about you in a long time either.

“Uhm, not really my scene, I guess.” You answer with an awkward smile. Harry’s friends ask you some more questions and you answer all of them, even cracking a joke here and there in between. It is nerve racking, especially since you are talking so much.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” One of the girls in the group—Dina, if you remember correctly—suddenly asks. You are glad that the group has divided into small sections a bit, and only another girl and guy will hear your answer.

Harry is chatting with his friends left from him, but once that one question leaves Dina’s mouth he checks out of the conversation. He knows the answer, of course, but he still wants to hear what you have to say.

“Nope.” You shake your head, and Dina nods.

“No one on the horizon?” She asks again, excessively glancing from Harry to you. The two others start to giggle and you feel the heat rising to your cheeks. Before you can respond, Dina continues talking in a slightly louder tone. “Because if not, I have a friend of mine I can set you up with. He is great! He’s somewhere around here actually, I could introduce you if you want?”

You suddenly feel a hand snake around your waist, and you already recognize who it is before you have proper time to process it. You worry about that; is it bad to be so familiar to ones’ touch?

“D’ya want to get a drink?” Harry asks, a bit more serious than you’re used to. You nod and excuse yourself from the conversation before letting Harry lead you to his car. His hand on the small of your back makes you have to restrain yourself from melting into a puddle.

You arrive at the car and wait for Harry to open the trunk. To your surprise, he lifts you up and seats you on it, before grabbing your already opened water bottle and taking off the cap. You take it from his hands and take a few big gulps, trying not to sweat profusely at the way he is looking at you, so concentrated.

“Having fun?” Harry asks you, and you look at him, nodding your head.

“Yes, you have nice friends.” You reply, your voice a bit breathy when you realize that his left hand hasn’t left your waist.

“You feeling good then?” He asks, tilting his head ever so slightly, and for a moment you feel like all the oxygen is sucked out of your lungs. He raises his brows a bit when you don’t respond to him—instead staring at him as if in a bit of a trance—and you have to regain yourself, nodding profusely.

“Yeah?”

���Yes.” You confirm again. He grins at that. You feel like you could be set on fire any second now. You hate yourself for the way you get when he’s so close like this. You haven’t really experienced this before with him, not with anyone actually.

“One of them already tried to set me up with some guy.” You say, hoping it would throw him off and grant you a little bit of space, but instead he comes closer.

“I heard.” Harry murmurs, eyes flicking from your mouth to your eyes, calculating your every reaction in case he gets any indication that you are not comfortable. But there isn’t, because you aren’t.

“Do you think that would be a good idea?” You ask in what could almost be classified as a whisper.

“Do you?” He touches your nose with his, and there is only millimeters left between your mouths. Your eyebrows furrow at the little gap there is left. You lean forward to press your lips against Harry’s but he pulls back ever so slightly, tutting you. Before you can even stop yourself, you let out the smallest whine that could almost be passed for a huff. Harry just smirks and leans in a bit closer again, brushing your lips over his. “Well…?”

“No.” You breathe out and push your lips against his, your hand around his neck, as if it would keep him even closer than he already is.

The weeks and weeks of tension between you fades away with every second that you kiss him. The way Harry’s hands have got a hold of your hips drives you absolutely crazy and you don’t think you have ever wanted something like you want him. It’s the first time your body takes over your brain and it suddenly makes sense; why people do stupid things for love.

If your crush on Harry—or however you want to define your feelings for him—already has you clamping against him as if his touch keeps you alive, you couldn’t imagine what a fool like you in love would do. But if this only feels half as good as the real thing, you aren’t so opposed to finding out.

Harry deepens the kiss and moves one of his hands to hold your face with it, and you become even more intertwined than before. Every sense of yours is occupied with him, and vice versa. Harry feels like he might have died and gone to heaven. Either that, or you are a fallen angel that he was lucky enough to encounter.

The sound of people cheering and a couple of honks breaks the both of you out of the spell you’re under. Upon pulling out from the kiss, you see the pick-up truck with all the people on it drive by as they cheer you on. And suddenly the realization hits you: you were making out with Harry in the middle of the street!

“Y/N… I—” Harry tries to get a word in but you don’t let him, because the sound of him addressing you by your name freaks you out.

“We should get back to the party.” You blurt out, trying to walk back towards the house.

“Y/N!”

You freeze at Harry’s urgent tone of voice, and the volume of it too. He has never sounded so stern before. You slowly turn around, terrified of what he’s going to say. Or maybe you are terrified because there is something you want him to say.

“We should talk about this, sunshine.”

You feel your insides twist. There is a happy surge that is waiting to make it to your brain, but that godawful, dreadful feeling gets the best of you; fear. A fear that overflows any happiness about resolving whatever is going on between the two of you. A fear that maybe this is all a game, and you can’t trust him like you want to, because you haven’t trusted yourself again from the moment you got drugged. So, instead telling Harry how you truly feel about all of this, you just shake your head in disbelief.

“I can’t do this.” You sigh a hopeless sigh, hands on your hips. You stare at the ground; there isn’t a realistic possibility in which you could look into his eyes right now.

“Do you want to go home?” He asks, and you respond with a nod. Harry shuts the trunk before walking over to the driver’s seat.

The second you step into the car, it falls silent between the two of you. You sit with your knees away from Harry, body towards the window. You listen to the radio music that is vaguely playing in the background.

Harry always puts on his own playlist, but he felt that wasn’t very fitting right now, so he just left the radio on. He tries to avoid giving into the heavy pit in his stomach, but it grows with every intersection and stoplight where once again nothing is said. It irks him that you are so silent and he would throw himself out the window if this is it. If he’s blown his chance.

Harry stops right in front of your apartment complex. You don’t even realize at first, and when you do, you feel your own body almost trying to keep you in the vehicle, urging your stupid mouth to open up to him, but you don’t. Harry does instead.

“I like you.” He blurts out before he even knows what he is doing. He feels his cheeks getting red as the sentence leaves his mouth. You freeze, and slowly turn to Harry, unsure what to make of his words.

“I like you, sunshine. As more than a friend, or a tutor, or whatever you want to call it. I have had a crush on you ever since that first project we did together.” He sighs, feeling like a big weight has already been lifted off his chest. “I’m not going to waste time by being vague or playing hard to get. So I’m telling you: I like you. You can do whatever you want the information, it’s up to you. I just needed you to know.”

You stare blankly at Harry. He feels himself getting nervous again. Did he forget to add something? No… right?

“S— so, that’s all. Have a good night, Y/N.” He adds on, looking away from her confrontational eyes and focusing on the empty road in front of him instead.

A scoff. A scoff leaves your mouth as you unbuckle your seatbelt and open the door. Harry’s heart drops; he messed this up. How did he ever think you liked him? He knew you were way out of his league. Why did he even try—

“No, you know what—” the car door slams shut and Harry looks to his right to see you sitting next to him again. Your face is on scary mode and he is quite intimidated by it, to say the least. “You don’t get to do this! You don’t get to give me coffee, and touch me and kiss me and make me all confused, and— this! And why are you suddenly calling me by my name?! You can’t just— do that!”

The faintest hint of a smirk appears on Harry’s face. He can’t think of anything else but how beautiful you look right now. That pouty, confusion filled angry face you have on.

“You’d rather have me call you sunshine?”

“That— That’s not what I meant— You are so annoying, you know that?!”

“Then what do you mean, sunshine?” Harry asks, tilting his head a bit. He is being a bit cocky; he likes seeing you struggle with this, but trying to communicate anyway. He’s proud of you. He feels like he knows you better than you think and he is aware that this is not easy at all for you.

“You— you just barge into my life with those caramel macchiato’s and flip everything I know upside down. And giving me that… nagging feeling. All the time!” You keep ranting, unaware of how amused Harry is because of it.

“Sunshine… are you trying to tell me that you like me back?” He wonders carefully. It is hurting his lips trying to fight them from forming into a smile.

“What?” You ask breathily, as if he’s caught on to you. Harry bites the inside of his lip and leans forward. There it is again, that nagging feeling.

His eyes trace down to your body and he carefully placed on of his hands on your stomach, then he looks back at you. He is almost as close as how he was before you two kissed, and your body immediately feels like it’s on fire again.

“That nagging feeling, do you feel it there? In your belly?” He asks you softly, and you could melt from just his words. You say nothing, do nothing. You just clench your jaw, unwilling to give into him. The reason why you are defying this is becoming vaguer and vaguer by the second, though…

“Because I do. I feel it all the time. Whenever you’re close, whenever you enter my mind. I’ve never longed for a stomach ache so bad in my entire life.” He explains to you, and your mind feels so clouded. You know exactly what he means.

“I know you’re scared, and I know you don’t trust this. But please, let me in. I wouldn’t think of letting you down. Ever.” Harry pleads, and your eyes flutter shut.

All you can smell now is his perfume ans all you can feel is him even though he’s not touching you all around. You lean forward, forehead against his. You both stay like that for a second or two, but when you open your eyes and his lips are the first thing you see…

You break.

Within seconds, your lips are back on his and you just know it was the right thing to do. There is nothing you love more than being close to him right now, and you are really relishing in the fact that that seems to have overshadowed your fears.

Your hands finds its way to his neck while one of his cups your jaw, keeping the both of you steady. There is so much passion in the kiss, and it feels so satisfying. It is why it’s almost impossible to pull away from him, but you do anyway.

“Do you want to come in?” You ask, out of breath. Harry’s mouth breaks into a wide smile as he nods.

“Yes, please.”

…

TO BE CONTINUED

[circyexistforcontent]

IMPOSTER AU! BUT WITH AN OBLIVIOUS GOD READER

✿ trigger warnings: cultish behavior, yandere's, mentions of weaponry, attempted murder, religious themes, god reader being an idiot because they don't know someone is impersonating them

✿ notes: the reader is actually the god of teyvat, this isn't an isekai story. so if you don't like it I suggest you scroll by.

It's been a millennium since you have descended in Teyvat. Mostly for the reason you had other out worldly matters to deal with, so you didn't have time to visit your acolytes or take care of teyvat as a whole. So you decided to create a small extension of yourself, Celestia, to observe Teyvat while you were gone.

After unloading your work you decided that a small vacation wouldn't hurt. After all, a god deserves to rest too. Should you make yourself known to your acolytes? You probably shouldn't, some of them can be really...suffocating *Cough* Morax *Cough* and they might be busy with their own respective nations.

You decided to fuse back with Celestia, feeling some of Celestia's memories flood your mind and- oh my god. What the hell happened?

When did your acolytes start a war???

Most of your acolytes died a few centuries after you left. Some of your acolytes were so unbecoming at the time, and all you could feel is disappointment. They swore to themselves they would be peaceful, why did they decide to turn their back on you?

You decided once you descend to Teyvat, you will give them a lecture about promises and being truthful to your words.

You made sure to be careful when transferring a piece of your consciousness to Teyvat. Transferring a small piece of your power was hard enough without accidentally exploding the vision holder, if you brought even a fourth of yourself to the domain it will collapse. You can feel the familiar sensation of entering a world, feeling the breeze slowly brush past you as the sunlight beams above your form.

Monstadt, what use to be a frozen wasteland now became a city flourishing with people and plant life. Based on what you can remember, Barbatos, your little wisp friend, has now ascended to godhood and has dominion over Monstadt. You can remember how happy your little wind wisp would be every time you come to visit him after a long day of answering prayers and managing the constellations. He always loved head pats, and he fits in your pocket too.

Maybe you should visit him first, just like in the old times. You started walking through the forest, greeting every slime you walked past and every hillichurl that would see run towards you. Some have even offered you trinkets! Though you sadly couldn't wear it since it was on the brink of breaking apart, you promised to cherish it for centuries to come.

Sunlight shines through the end of the forest, but as you made your way to the exit an arrow whizzes through you. Not even getting the chance to make contact with your flesh (it's not like this form even has flesh), you saw a figure above a tree branch before it gracefully landed on the ground. You saw that they were holding a bow.

"Stay where you are, imposter!"

'Imposter?' You thought, what was she talking about? "Excuse me Amber, but who are you referring to?" Amber seem to be tense the moment you said her name. She prepared her bow again, making sure it's pointed to your head.

"How do you know me? And I was referring to you. You're trying to impersonate the Divine Creator." You made an 'aah' sound before waving dismissively, giving her a care free smile.

"You must be mistaken, you see I AM the Divine Creator. I know I haven't descended for a long time and this might be sudden but I promise I will make up for all the time I was go-"

Before you can try and reason more with Amber, an explosive plushie was thrown at you.

[ijustwantogohomehogwarts]

m i n e | (s e c r e t l y)

m i n e | (s e c r e t l y)

Y/n recounts the struggles of Timothée going back to work after spending time with her, knowing there's nothing she can do about it because, to the eyes of Hollywood, she doesn't exist. There's nothing she can do...as a girlfriend-

Warnings and such: established relationship, secret/private relationship, sad reader but major fluff points!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I rolled over in bed, the gut wrenching realization that I was, once again, alone hit me before I even opened my eyes. The spot beside me was cold, covered pulled up and long abandoned...but his scent lingered. The warmth of his embrace, the feeling of his skin, his lips on mine...he was gone, but the memory burned in my mind like it was brand new- present.

I had myself convinced that I was handing this whole situation very well, he even gave me credit for how well I was 'holding it together,' and keeping everything a secret. Oh the irony in having secrets in Hollywood. I knew it was going to be hard, there was no way to make it any easier, but the façade shattered like glass each morning after he left.

It never mattered how long he was here; 12 hours or 12 weeks, it never felt like enough time. Who am I kidding- the rest of my life wouldn't be enough time to spend with him. We never wasted a moment, and made up for all the lack of physical touch until reality ripped us apart again. I'd fall asleep and convince myself that the next morning would be just the same, but nothing ever prepared me for his absence.

God, it was such a cliché thing to think! I could call him 10 times a day if I wanted, I could send him 100 text messages and FaceTime just to stare at his face! We live in a world where technology makes it almost impossible to miss someone...almost. Close isn't good enough...

I trudged around the empty apartment, the sound of his voice, the echo of his laughter; played loudly in the back of my mind. There was no trace of him. Keys, shoes, coat...all gone.

"Stop whining, he'll be back in a week!" I scolded myself in a desperate attempt to pull my head out of my ass and carry on with my life. "He's not dead!"

I made breakfast, cleaned the apartment and played music so loudly I couldn't hear my own thoughts. No thoughts, no tears. Besides, it was selfish for me to be upset: this was his life, I'm just a small part of it. He's got work to do, projects to finish and I'm so proud of him, truly I am! Who am I to hold him back from any of it because I miss him?! I turned the music up louder. No thoughts, no tears.

The afternoon rolled around and I dragged myself into the patio to enjoy the city. There was something magical about the time between when the work day ends, and the night life begins- there was a sense of calm amidst the chaos, something you only got to experience once a day. This is normally the time where I get to call him, or where he calls me, and we talk about the 9-5 grind as if either one of us had one, but I remember his speaking, as he drifted off to sleep last night, that today was going to be different. Busy. Demanding. Attention and time consuming. But he was excited, so I was excited for him.

There was no call.

When the noise started up again on the street below, I resolved myself to spend the rest of the night on the couch, watching movies and wallowing in my own self pity. I knew this feeling wouldn't last, that in the next day or two life would go back to the way it was before he was here, and the cycle would repeat itself. The thought of giving it up never crossed my mind...the days we were together made it all worth it. I was just a person who got too attached and I know that I would eventually learn to handle this better...good things take time after all.

I turned to shut the door, my eyes glancing over the table for the first time all day. It took another glance to notice that something on it didn't belong to me. The undeniable sparkle of designer diamonds. A ring. His ring. One of them anyway.

Maillon Panthere Ring. Cartier. $12,000. Maybe more.

Sticker shock is still very, very real.

He's left things here before, why wouldn't he, but this seemed like too much to simply forget. Shoes and t shirts were one thing, but he's never left something he wears regularly, something so expensive. I smiled, realizing that it was undoubtedly a mistake, and he had days where he would loose his own head of it wasn't attached.

"Missing something?" I texted him, though I didn't expect a response.

I set the ring down on the bathroom counter and indulged myself in a shower that lasted all too long. I threw on a pair of sweatpants and a t shirt that didn't belong to me and picked up the ring again. Funny, I had seen it so many times since he bought it, but it looked much different not wrapped around his fingers. I spun it around my own, blushing feverishly when I realized the only one it fit was my ring finger.

My phone chimed, drawing me quickly out of my thoughts.

"You. Filming on Astoria Boulevard probably until midnight...it's beautiful here. I'll bring you sometime! Call you tonight? xoxo"

Would it really be so wrong...

I jumped off the couch, giddy like a child on Christmas with a plan that would either end horribly or wonderfully, but if I was careful, the latter was the only option. I made myself presentable, without putting in too much effort for the sake of time constraint, pulled on a pair of shoes and a sweatshirt (which also didn't belong to me) and headed out the door.

I walked quickly towards the subway station a few blocks away, my knuckles turning white as I gripped the ring still on my finger. Astoria Boulevard in Queens was about an hour away, and I could only hope he was serious about being there well into the night, or this would be an all for nothing excursion out of the house.

There was a small group of people, only about 12 maybe and mostly girls, giddy with excitement and staring through their phone screens. If that wasn't enough to give away that they were all still there, the sidewalk closures, flood lights and film equipment was. I stepped over the barrier and slipped in with the group when no one was looking, though it didn't appear to be a big deal that they were there so what was one more? I made my way to the front, stopping when my fluttering in my chest became near overwhelming.

"Isn't he dreamy?" Someone whispered beside me.

"I hope we get to meet him!" Someone else replied.

"QUIET ON THE SET!"

Like a light switch, the world fell silent around us. The people beside me all hit record simultaneously and watched the magic unfold in front of them.

"ACTION."

There wasn't a whole lot to see from where we stood, but for a moment, I saw a mess of dark curls. I didn't need to see the face that they belonged to to instantly recognize him.

Him.

Everything came flooding back: the sound of his raspy voice, his lips on my neck, bare skin on bare skin, his fingers laced in mine. The smell of his skin, damp with sweat as he fought to catch his breath. I wonder if anyone had caught sight of the faint red lines down his back, or the dark purple bruises on his hips. My fingers instinctively traced my collar bone, knowing that I had matching bruises just below the fabric of this sweatshirt. My cheeks felt warm- warmer still when the train doors open and my eyes instantly fell to him.

I took in every inch of him; savoring the fact this was one of the very few times I was able to do so in public. There was an overwhelming feeling of excitement, a fear of being caught, though to anyone else I was a fan, nothing more. I felt my pulse quicken as adrenaline coursed through my body:

"I've kissed him. I've ran my fingers though his hair. I've shared a bed with him. I have his number saved in my phone. I'm wearing his clothes. I've seen him naked. I-"

Okay, simmer down.

"CUT!"

"That was great guys! Let's take 5 and we'll try to wrap this up."

There was a commotion of equipment moving and people shuffling around, but through it all I caught glimpses of Martin Scorsese (which was awe inspiring on it's own) and his muse. His beautiful, beautiful muse. The people beside me grew louder, desperate to capture his attention.

"Guys," The man who appeared to be assigned 'Crowd Control' turned towards us. "He knows you're here, he'll come say 'hello' when we're all done. Please let him finish or you're going to have to leave." He was met with muttered apologies, but didn't seem to mind.

I've never gotten to watch him work before, but there was something about it that was so...intoxicating. I already knew he poured everything into his projects, but watching him make it come to life was stunning. He took direction, looked, moved, breathed as instructed. I smiled when the rain machine came out and watched him slowly get drenched, curls sticking to his head, his white shirt becoming sheer...

I stared, unabashedly, until the final 'cut.'

"He'll be out in 10 minutes." crowd control guy spoke.

Almost to the second, the official new face of Chanel jogged around the corner. Clad in heavy sweatpants, t shirt and jacket, his hair was still damp and there was music blaring from his phone. The fans around me were screaming, though defiantly not as loud as I'm sure they have before, seeing how few of us there was. He stopped just short of the barrier, eyes locked on me, and froze.

I bit back a smile, watching him do the same as a beautiful color painted his cheeks. I dropped my head and stared at my fingers when I couldn't control myself any longer. I pulled his ring off my finger and rolled it around in my hand. I stole glanced as he made his way down the line. He was a model (literally) celebrity: doting on his fans, signing every autograph, making small talk, taking pictures...he was genuinely happy to be with them, and I know without a shadow of a doubt he would act just the same if I wasn't there.

"Don't be shy," his voice washed over me, hand touching my arm quickly. "I'm Timothee Chalamet, what's your name?"

"I'm [The nickname he gave you], it's nice to meet you!"

I stifled a laugh as the color in his cheeks began to match my nail polish. I rolled his ring back and forth between my fingers, eyes flickering between his and my hand. In public he was quick on his feet; he ran his hand from my shoulder down to my hand, taking the ring from me leaving no one next to us any wiser. In private, this may have taken him quite a few minutes to realize.

"I like your sweatshirt," A shit eating grin was plastered on his face. "I have the same one, but I seem to have lost it."

"Well, I hope you find it! It's very comfortable!"

"Yeah. I know!"

"You looked great out there! I can't wait to see the final commercial. When does it come out?"

"Thank you! Yeah, I'm not sure, but I'm sure you'll all see pictures soon!" He turned to everyone else who began cheering. "Say cheese!" He called, holding his phone above his head.

We all huddled together and he snapped a picture. I've seen a few like this on his phone- he never deleted them. He looked at me for a moment longer before asking, shyly, if i wanted a picture too. It would match the ones I already have, sure, this felt different...like a risqué little thing I wasn't supposed to have. Of course I said yes!

"Everybody get home safe, okay? Thanks for coming out and I appreciate your cooperation! I hope to see you guys soon!"

Tim turned his back towards the crowd and whispered something to crowd control guy. He turned back and waved enthusiastically at everyone who was being escorted away, though I couldn't help but notice the ring that suddenly adorned his finger was gesturing towards the ground, the same way you would tell a dog to 'stay.'

I walked impossibly slow behind everyone else, and as they rounded the corner, I fell back, following Mr. Crowd Control. He must know...right? Does everyone who works on these types of projects sign nondisclosure agreements? They must, right?

"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" Tim laughed, falling in step with us as we made our way through what was left of the make-shift set.

"You're young, you'll be fine!" He tried to act offended and even made Crowd Control chuckle.

"Wanna meet Scorsese?"

"No! I look like a bum!"

"Excuse you!" He laughed, tugging on the sleeve of my sweatshirt. "Come on, it'll be quick, we gotta clear out anyway."

Martin Scorsese was a very nice man, though firm and to the point. He admired Timothee and told me, very sternly, to not let him doubt himself. 'He's going places, just you wait!' All of this I already knew, but nodded along enthusiastically. To Scorsese, I was just a 'childhood friend,' which isn't a lie, and though I don't think he would care who I really was to Tim either way, perhaps it was best that the less people that know the better.

"Thank you for the delivery," Tim smiled, wiggling his fingers in front of him. "but you didn't have to come all the way down here to do that!"

"Fine, give it back!"

"Wait- no!"

We stood quietly in a corner while everyone was packed up, finding any excuse to touch or otherwise look at each other. It wasn't long (enough) until Tim's driver came. The feelings which I had first thing in the morning, that lingered through the day began to return...loneliness began to wash over me as I was desperate to hold him. Regretfully, Tim had a redeye flight to catch and had to be to the airport in a few short hours- there was no way I could ask him to come back home for one more night.

"It's not long this time," I reminded myself. "9 days and he'll be back for 3 weeks!"

Still, I couldn't help myself and I watched as my fingers reached for one of his own.

"Do you mind if we take her home first?"

"Tim-"

"Not at all! We should get going though..."

His driver pulled the car around and I got in on the blindside, just in case. There was a strategy to doing- and therefore getting away with- just about everything in Hollywood. I had so much to learn! I rested my head on his shoulder, fingers interlaced as we rode in silence back to my apartment. It was nice. THIS was the kind of intimacy I was going to miss with him.

9 days, I reminded myself.

The rest of the night was a blur, even more so when the headlights disappeared down the road, and I could no longer see my hand in front of my face though the tears. I could feel the pleasant sting on my lips where they began to swell slightly, and I groaned audibly, desperate to have him back already. This of course made me frustrated because I had no logical reason to cry, so I cried some more and the cycle continued.

I woke up the next morning with a splitting headache but immediately reached for my phone. 10 text messages, 1 missed call.

-I love you! -I'm so fucking lucky to have you in my life! -I'll call you when I land, but it will be late, please don't wait up for me! *1 missed call* -Thank you :) -I miss you already :( -You have no idea how happy I was to see you tonight! -Like, OMGGGG that's my babbyyyyy -Fucking beautiful! -I'm going to go to bed....but I wish you were here! -I love you! I love you! I love you!

I smiled to myself and began reading over the messages before they dropped to the bottom.

-Bien matin, mon amour :)

-TIMOTHEE HAL CHALAMET

-I literally just woke up, there's nothing I could have done yet-

- I FUCKING LOVE YOU

-lol I love you more!

*Incoming FaceTime call*

"Good morning," I yawned at the boy who was still in his own bed.

"Good morning...I don't have to go anywhere for a few more hours...If you want to go back to sleep..."

"Not without you..."

"I'm not hanging up."

I'm happy the world doesn't get to see this side of Timothee Chalamet...this is the type of intimacy that I want to keep all to myself- all the intimate moments for that matter, but even when we're old and grey and celebrating 50 years of marriage, this is the type of thing I'll hold most precious. I am undeniably IN love with him.

My muse. My beautiful boy. My baby. My Timothee.

Mine.

[arialice]

Hey malevolent fans, let me tell you of the most malevolent coded album, Counterfeit Arcade by Shayfer James.

So many of the songs either in lyrics or vibes remind me so much of this show, so in a few words I'm going to attempt to explain my thought process about each song (be prepared, it's long)

Weight of the World - I don't have much to say about the lyrics. They kind of fit.

"That's just the weight of the world/We do what we must to stay alive/That's just the weight of the world/And we'll all be the weak and the weary sometime"

The instrumentals, tune and vibes is what really makes this song shine for me. Piano (obviously), the general deranged vibes and so on.

For the Departed - reminds me so much of part 20, thought I can't personally decide who's 'singing' the song. It lowkey works from both John's and Arthur's perspective.

"Save yourself/I am far beyond repair/They will bury me alive/But I'm not inclined to care"

More inclined to think Arthur because of the lines:

"Now I must finish what I started, oh-oh/I'll write a symphony for the departed/And I have no time for second chances/So I survive on bourbon, blood, and backward glances, oh"

"And so, the scene begins/Your cries become the wind/A desperate plea best left unheard/Then my contrived goodbye/A poet's pantomime/A drunken jester's final words"

Where we belong - this song. It's literally malevolent in a song. This is the most literal one. I would quote the entire song if I could, but here's some key lines:

"I know we're far beyond the point of no return/Let's say we light a fire and be the first to burn"

"Do you recall the day when we went wrong?/Time is flying/Ease your weary mind, we'll be alone"

"There's a freight train coming, barreling around the bend/There's a red light flashing, oh, ladies and gentlemen, this is the end/I do believe that we've a lesson left to learn/So take your seats, your salutations, and your turn"

"And on the way to our salvation, we'll be making plans/To overthrow the king and pick apart the promised lands"

L.V.S (Your Lady Waits) - makes me think about Oscar, specifically BlindFaith. Very much "you are my reason" vibes. I think it's the overall softness of the song, the emotion in it is so palpable.

"Oh, the mountains bow before ya/Oh, the clouds are open wide"

"Oh, and we, my friend/Will meet again"

"Upon this Autumn morn/Your laughter lingers on"

Villainous thing - This song is so, so, so obnoxiously Kayne to me, as in it feels like a song thats meant to be sung by him. The kinda cheery tune mixed with the lyrics sell it for me.

"Welcome, won't you come inside?/Oh I fear the passing year did not deserve you"

"Soaked and shivered from the rain/You have always been a delicate disaster" - singing about Arthur

"Waste no worry for the world/Let it be a tragedy of love and glory/While they wait by gates of pearl/We'll be building palaces in purgatory" - makes me think of him pitching the the deal with John in like a reverse psychology way. "Oh I'm sure Arthur is fine you can keep building your empire here in the Dark World, king."

Battle Cry - Works in general considering the 'monster of the week' trope this podcast sometimes falls into.

"Hear my battle cry, hear that mighty sound/They've come before and many more will try to strike me down/Hear my battle cry, hear that mighty roar"

The second verse is what really stands out to me though.

"I met a stranger on my way to here from God knows where/He won my lover in a dirty game of solitaire/He stole my crown and placed it crookedly upon his head/He turned around, I took him down and this is what I said" - again, thinking about part 20 (can you tell its my favorite?) The 'stranger' is The King/Hastur/Yellow/Whatever. 'But he's not a stranger?' He kind of is. After Arthur and John are together for so long, even the King admits that he doesn't know why his other half would pick Arthur. John himself had been making small steps at redemption, and just those baby steps made him pretty duffrebt from the King.

"You'll sacrifice the truth to justify your sins/But I don't need an excuse to let the darkness in" - again Arthur and the King. The King does 'bad' shit simply because he wants, yet when Arthur does something moraly 'bad', he has to justify it to himself.

Peace - Very part 31, aka Arthur's Scratch induced nightmare.

"I'd rather live alone than live a lie/I will never deserve peace" - the confessions we get from Arthur about how he felt about Bella

"I spoke to the ghost on my way to asleep/But the boards in the floor called my footsteps a thief" -reminds me of the argument with James. My line of reasoning is that James is the 'boards', and he's calling him a thief because he 'stole' Bella's life by stepping into it, marrying her when he didnt love her, if that makes sense.

"I will never deserve peace/I will never deserve peace/I will never deserve peace" - general self deprication

Diggin' Up Hatchets - makes me think of Larson or in general season 3. A little bit cult-y. It's mostly tune and vibes but the lyrics kind of work

"We're diggin’ up hatchets today/And sharpening the blades/In case, a stitch of hope remains/In this hell that we've raised"

"Hey! We're witnessing the waking of the dead/We’re ripping all the wires from our heads"

"We're burying mercy and grace/In unmarked shallow graves"

"There’s a plan for us lunatics and liars/We have faulty gears and wires/They can't save us, but they’ll do the best they can"

Under the Willow - John theme song in my mind, can't convince me otherwise. Song about discovering one's self and purpose.

"Mother, mother, I think I found my soul/While I was hiding under the willow"

"I've been the portrait of despair/Despite this hat and badge I wear/I've been a captive and a coward" - 'hat and badge' in this case is the crown and robe of the king

"I met a wise man under the willow/Lover, lover, look for me no more/I've been right here under the willow" - Arthur, obviously

"I've been a bastard and a fool/Rewritten nearly every rule/But I believe I'm worth redemption" - the redemption line alone is perfect.

Godspeed - the Jarthur divorce song. Arguing with someone but knowing that in the end you'll find each other again.

"There’s many ways to hide a heart that bleeds/But I prefer the ease of rolling up my sleeves" - might be imagining bit I sweat once John told Arthur that he wears his heart on his sleeve, if not I apologize.

"You’ve got some nerve to be coming/around with that card up your sleeve/And those thorns in your crown" - I think 'card up your sleeve refers to a plan, a secret, which John had many of

"Funny how the night is not as long,/when you depend upon/The dark before the dawn" - John deceiving Arthur many a times. Works well with the repeating line "I used to be someone that you could belive", Arthur starts ignoring and going against John (see, the entire thing with Oscar)

"Good luck, godspeed, I know I’ll see you again/I’ll always call you a friend indeed" - They always get over it and play nice again, until the next argument of course.

Have a Seat Misery - Coda and Intermezzo vibes. Short and sweet. Reads like a conversation between Kayne and Arthur.

"Have a seat, misery/Lord how I’ve missed you/Don’t go crying to me/That I kept you away for too long/Just put your feet up, friend/cause I read all your postcards/And in a way, I am happy to say/That you’ve never been gone"

"Let me light that for you/Seems your hand’s a bit shaky/We’ve got damage to do/And I know you’ll need smoke in your chest/So have a seat, misery/And don't ever mistake me/Of all of my friends, you know/You are the one I like best"

Conclusion/TLDR: Counterfeit Arcade by Shayfer James is, to me, THE malevolent album. Are some of these conclusions a stretch? Probably considering some of the lyrics I didn't present do actually go against the messages of the show, but I had fun writing this and the good(things matching up really well) outweighed the bad(some contradictions). Also go listen to the album or just Shayfer James in general

[yeehawbvby]

In Too Deep (Arven x GN!Reader) | Ch. 1*

Rating: Mature/Explicit | Warning: Pokémon Scarlet/Violet spoilers!

Summary: "A rough yank whips my face past Arven’s. He lets go. I yelp, feeling my body drift away from the group for a brief few milliseconds. Then, two strong hands find my sides and pull, planting me down onto the Pokémon.

…Oh no, I’m horny. I could’ve died, but instead of being mad or fearful, I’m being horny."

Author’s Note: My headcanon age for Arven is that he’s a young adult, somewhere between 20-24 years old. If this proves to be wrong in the future, please consider him to be aged up to this range! Likewise, for the sake of the continuity (i.e. Little Buddy and whatnot), you have a similarly tiny stature to the main character in Pokémon SV. For the sake of all of us, your character here is not a teenager lol, but instead roughly the same age as Arven, give or take a few years.

Thank you for understanding!! ^^ Enjoy and take care x

Check it out on ao3!

Next

There’s no way I can do this. 

I’ve ridden on the back of Raidon plenty — mostly on land, but sometimes soaring from high cliffs, and other times skiing on water. I trust this Pokémon with my life. 

But this? This is way too high of a jump. There’s no way it’ll work. 

I hear the bustle of my friends a dozen or so feet from beside me, climbing onto the motolizard in preparation for our flight. But in a daze, I kneel at the edge of the steel chamber, dreading the next few minutes. Unable to bring myself to move.

The drop into Area Zero begins high above the clouds, and ends on uncertain ground. We don’t know what’s down there, nor do we know what types of strange Pokémon might be flying with us on our way. Pokémon we could potentially crash into. Arven is the only one who can tell us what to expect, but he’s kept it vague, not wanting to have to recount his horrible experiences down there as a kid. 

The sound of metal clunking against metal echoes through my ears. Looking up and to my right side, I see the group all ready to go, Raidon inching forward. My eyes widen with panic. 

Oh… oh god, it’s time. 

I begin to shuffle over, but the upturn of Raidon's front legs tells me I don’t have as much time as I think.

“GET ON!”

Reaching out towards Arven’s outstretched hand, I sprint to him. His smile says he’s amused, but the glint in his eye shows determination. Behind him, Nemona laughs delightfully, and behind Nemona, Penny smirks. Analyzing the situation. As if she’s calculating how high of a chance there is that if they don’t die here, I will.

Before Raidon can plummet, Arven’s and my fingertips touch. Before I can grab his hand, he bypasses my fingers and firmly grasps my wrist. My heart skips a beat at the contact.

In the next beat, I’m airborne.

My friends howl and cheer beside me. Treating the plunge like we’re dropping down a rollercoaster at fucking Super Nintendo World. I, on the other hand, am screaming bloody murder. Cursing out Arven for prompting Raidon down so early instead of waiting two goddamn seconds for me to climb on. Cursing out Arceus, too, for fabricating this situation for me in the first place.

It feels like my shoulder or my wrist — maybe both? — are about to fall out of their sockets. I want to cry and throw up and most importantly I want to grab Arven’s forearm with my other hand for feigned security, but the wind is too strong against me, and my nerves are too high to do much of anything. 

After what seems like far too long, I feel a tug at my arm. My body glides forward as my teary eyes squint through the changing air pressure. A rough yank whips my face past Arven’s. He lets go. I yelp, feeling my body drift away from the group for a brief few milliseconds. Then, two strong hands find my sides and pull, planting me down onto the Pokémon.

How did he—??!

My hands instinctively grip onto Raidon’s horns, but my chest is still anxiously heaving, while butterfrees roam freely through my stomach. 

The past few moments play on repeat in my head, mentally removing me from the present.

Arven’s calloused hand consuming my wrist. Arven demonstrating borderline superhuman strength, as he tugs all [redacted] pounds of me through the air. Arven’s large hands finding my hips and positioning me against his body; the back of my ass to the front of his groin, the outside of my short legs spread almost fully against the inside of his longer ones.

Oh no, I’m horny.

I could’ve died, but instead of being mad or fearful, I’m being horny.

I gasp as I feel a warm breath against my ear, followed by a whisper: “I’ve got you, bud.” 

Arven punctuates the end of his sentence with a quick squeeze on my hips. The softness of his voice and sensation of his lips brushing my earlobe while he holds me like this sends a shiver down my spine.

Oh good god, that did not help anything!

A chirp from Raidon breaks me from my impure thoughts and reminds me to help it steer. I take a deep breath, sit up a bit straighter, and guide us down to safety. 

We quickly determine upon landing that Area Zero is much prettier than any of us could’ve ever imagined. It’s abundant with waterfalls, creating rainbows in the distant mist. There’s an absurd amount of tera crystals, all in weird places; coating tree trunks, and seeming to sprout from the rocky edges of the crater more than from the land itself. Each beam of sunlight peeking through the thick clouds above bends to make even the smallest particles of pollen drifting through the breeze shine beautifully, as though the air itself is shimmering around us. 

And the Pokémon – oh, don’t even get me started on how cool these things are. Before we could even find our bearings, Nemona was already running off to inspect them. Scared the shit out of Arven, Penny and I, sneaking away like that, but now that we’re seeing them for ourselves, nobody can blame her.

Some are made of metal, seemingly robotic in every sense of the word, just like Raidon. Others are only rarely found up on the mainland, such as Glimmora. Nemona and I have only ever encountered one prior to today because La Primera has one on her team, while Penny and Arven didn’t know it existed. The only downside to all of the cool Pokémon here is that one of them must have spooked Raidon really badly in the past. It returned itself to its ball earlier, and now refuses to come out, so we don’t have it as a mode of transport.

By the time the four of us come across the first research facility, as per the Professor’s instructions, we decide that’s a good stopping point for the day. With the sun setting and a bed and bathroom right here for our use – albeit they’re a bit worse for wear – it seems like this is the perfect time to rejuvenate our strength for the rest of our adventure.

Once we scope out the contents of the old lab reports that are scattered around, as well as decide on which direction to head the following day, Arven makes us some sandwiches. We use the last bit of daylight to remain outdoors, so as to avoid the stuffiness of the building we’re camping inside of. 

The little bit of downtime while Arven works allows my thoughts to veer from the tasks at hand, and unfortunately, I’m right back where I was on Raidon. I’m totally spaced out. I have a stunning view of the depths of the crater right ahead of me, yet the only images in my mind consist of Arven.

Can’t stop myself from thinking of how his hands would feel on my bare sides. I’m unable to avoid fantasizing about how his lips would feel on mine, rather than merely brushing the cold tip of my ear; or of his hand easily gripping both of my wrists, holding them above me while he uses his lips elsewhere.

Saving me from myself, Nemona hops over to where I’m seated, recruiting me for dinner. Thank Arceus. 

_______________

A few hours of eating, bonding, and bantering have passed, and now everyone is winding down for bed. Penny and Nemona bickered for the cot, only to settle on sharing it. Nemona knocked out almost as soon as she hit the old, mildewy pillow (eugh), while Penny opted to pop her earbuds in and play something on her Switch until she can fall asleep. Why she’d risk bringing that thing down here is beyond me.

That just leaves Arven and I to figure out where and how to sleep.

Great.

This is fine.

Everything is fine.

He’s seated on a ready-to-break office chair, and I’m sitting near him, legs dangling off of the crescent-shaped desk…? Work station? Whatever this is. Arven and I look at each other, look at Arven’s empty sleeping bag on the ground, look at one another again, squint, and then simultaneously speak up:

“You can take my sleeping bag,” he says, while I proclaim, “I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“What? No!” we – again, simultaneously – respond to one another. I deadpan him, while his brows furrow and he cocks his head at me.

“I’m not stealing your sleeping bag,” I quietly argue, not wanting to wake up Nemona or disturb Penny.

Arven rolls his eyes, then matches my tone. “It’s not stealing if I’m offering it to you. And I’m sure as hell not letting you sleep on the floor.” 

“Oh, sorry, let me rephrase. I’m not accepting your offer.”

“Alright, so neither of us will use it. Does that sound better to you?”

“Why the fuck would that sound better?!” I whisper-yell. He shrugs. I close my eyes, tilt my head back, and sigh. “I’ll see if one of my Pokémon want to offer themselves up as my pillow.” 

Arven sternly says my name. I hum inquisitively, grabbing a Pokéball from my backpack and inspecting it in my hand. I hear him sigh before he speaks up again. “We’re sharing it.”

My eyes widen and meet his. “P-pardon?” 

“My sleeping bag.” He stands up and walks over to it, then lowers himself in. “We’ll share.” Arven holds up the edge, allowing space for me to crawl in with him.

“Isn’t it a bit… uh…”

“Little? Yeah, just like you,” he quips. “Works out perfectly, if you ask me.” 

Heart ready to thump right out of my chest, I square my shoulders and look him in the eye. “...Fine!” I squeak. I hesitate before pushing off the desk, then meekly pad on over to him.

He snorts. “You’ve got the strength of a Champion, and have taken down four – technically five, if you count the lil’ sushi guy – Titan Pokémon. Pokémon that could’ve easily killed us both. What makes you so nervous about this?” he jests.

I feel my face heat up as I kneel down beside Arven. I grumble, “Shut up…” before sliding in next to him. “Should I… like…?” I ask, more to myself than to him, shuffling around to figure out which way to lay so that we can both comfortably fit. 

Seeming to have thought I was talking to him – understandably so – Arven takes matters into his own hands. 

Literally.

Oh god.

His hands meet my hips again, except this time, the tee I brought down here to sleep in rides up a little. One of his fingers presses the skin of my side, sending Gooserene-bumps across my body. Then, he flips me around and pulls the back of my body flush against him. 

“C’mere, you little...” he trails off, pretending to be annoyed.

My brain takes a few seconds to process what’s happening. When I don’t zip up the sleeping bag right away, Arven reaches over me. There’s no way I’ll survive the night like this. The zipper makes it about an inch from its starting point before I put a hand on his arm to stop him. 

“Uh, actually, I’m gonna go get some air. Head kinda hurts.” 

I shimmy out from under Arven’s arm, and step out of the sleeping bag, promptly leaving the facility before he can say much of anything. There are enough lights planted on the building to ward off any pesky nocturnal Pokémon, so I know I’ll be safe as I wrap around to the side and sit down in the grass. I lean my back on the station, take a deep breath, and look out at the view I neglected earlier. 

I’ve gotta try to clear my head before I go back in there. I can’t spend the night in constant contact with the person who’s currently the star of all my perverted desires. What happens if I have a wet dream? What happens if I verbalize any of this hypothetical dream in my sleep? 

I’m so screwed.

My fingers fidget with the grass as a stupid thought crosses my mind. 

What if I just…? Y’know…?

I stand up to peek around the corner at the front of the building, knowing nobody is around, but wanting to play it safe before I do something reeeally fucking stupid. Then I look side to side. I look up and around for cameras, making sure the Professor can’t see what I’m about to do.

Sitting back down where I was, I think I’m in the clear. If I concentrate really hard, I can get off, and then I’ll go to the bathroom to clean up a bit, and then I’ll probably be alright to get back in that tiny little sleeping bag with Arven without combusting.

Giving myself a curt nod of encouragement, I reach a nervous hand into my sleep shorts. I’m embarrassingly prepared already… all this just from being so pent up all day. I feel like a monster. A horny, insatiable monster. 

Making quick use of my fingers, I’m forced to bite my lip to stop any sounds from escaping me. I’m never noisy while I masturbate, except maybe while I’m cumming sometimes. This is so embarrassing, even if there’s nobody around to see it. 

I shake the guilty thoughts from my head, wanting to simply get the job done and return inside. I can be as distracted as I want when I’m back in my dorm in Arceus knows how long. 

For now, I need to focus. 

Eyes shut and knuckles against my mouth, my imagination runs wild with some of the dirty thoughts I had earlier as I lose myself in pleasure. It honestly helps so much to have had those ideas ready to use, rather than having to conjure up new ones… and it immerses me enough that I haven’t noticed the soft footsteps on the grass just a few meters away from me.

The only reason I stop what I’m doing is because I hear my name being spoken cautiously, as if approaching a feral Pokémon, by none other than the man I was just fantasizing about.

[kamiko1234]

*YAPPIN AHEAD; EVERYTHING STATED HERE IS MY SUBJECTIVE OPINION*

Alright I have officially finished TLO and... oh man where do I start. So I'm gonna be real blunt and say, I'm underwhelmed. I genuinely did not like the way this ended mostly because it all felt like so.... little to me? Like, okay yeah- Luke got his redemption. I'm glad for that, I mean he is my all time favorite but like- it felt just sort of rushed? Idk, I wanted to see more of, well, Luke. I wanted to see more of his good side, his caring side. I wanted to see him really struggle against Kronos. See him fight against it, not just sort of suddenly breaking through. More build up would have been nice. Now it just feels like Rick not having known how Percy and Annabeth could have won against Kronos so he shoved Luke in to finish the job for them. I also disliked how Thalia just straight up wasn't there. Like- let me see her reaction to Luke killing himself for them. ESPECIALLY after these just borderline heartless lines she had about him previously. AND THEN THAT LINE AT THE END WHERE HE ASKED ANNABETH IF SHE LOVED HIM OMFG.

Like good god WHAT WAS THAT!? The heck?????? So THAT'S the mother of the groomer allegations? I'm gonna be so for real and say that this line was just HORRIBLE. Not only did it sound REALLY bad, but also???? didn't make any sense?????? First Annabeth says that she never loved Luke and then adds that he was like a brother to her and I'm like???? So you DID love him, like a BROTHER. Rick does know that love doesn't equal romantic feelings for someone, right????? But also how are people calling Luke a groomer because of THAT!? Like yeah that line is,,,, bad, and ngl I hate this line as much as the next person but also????? THAT'S ONE LINE NEVER has Luke shown ANY romantic interest in Annabeth. The one romantic relationship we know he had was off page with an ADULT monster.

Him loving her romantically is just straight up stupid, it had no build up and makes no sense. Not only would it make no sense but it would also royally screw up the ENTIER REST of their theme? Like their whole thing was FAMILY.

"FAMILY Luke, you promised" Like let's all be honest with ourselves , Luke having romantic feelings for her is just... stupid. An objectively stupid take.

Also someone please teach this fandom what the world groomer means, thank you very much. Yeah otherwise I... really don't feel much for Luke's death beyond anger and annoyance and disappointment. I resigned myself to him probably dying at the end as soon as Kronos possessed him at the end of BOTL so I had my time to prepare myself. Again to me Luke's self-sacrifice just felt like the author not knowing how to defeat the bad guy and thus shoving smth in. Well either way at least my fav can get reborn now and have a shot at a good life. BUT ALSO???? AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS PERCY DIDN'T DO SHIT TO PREVENT SOMETHING LIKE LUKE HAPPENING AGAIN??????? Like let's be realistic, what did Percy achieve? -Everyone get's claimed and brought to camp now -Everyone has a cabin now And don't get me wrong those are great things but..... what else? Genuinly what else did Percy achieve? The thing that drove Luke off the deep end wasn't just that kids went unclaimed and minor gods not respected. Sure it was PART of the issue, but by far not all of it! The demigods are still used as cannon fodder for quests. Their mortal parents are still abandoned with them. Camp is still training up child soldiers. NOT TO MENTION THAT HERMES HIMSELF SAID THAT GODS AREN'T GOOD AT KEEPING PROMISES FOR THAT LONG AND WILLS ONNER OR LATER GROW JUST AS NEGELECTFUL AGAIN

Like let's all be real here Percy didn't really SOLVE anything! All he did was set back the times of a ticking time bomb and calling it again.

And that time bomb WILL be going of sooner or later! Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not in a year, maybe not in Percy's lifetime. But it WILL blow again. That's just inevitable at this point. (And part of he hopes that it's a reincarnated Luke starting a revolution attempt nr.2 purley for the irony & to drive the point home)

I also still don't buy Hermes' bullcrap excuse of not being able to interfere with Luke's fate. I mean bffr that guy SEND LUKE ON A QUEST, and HE COULDN'T HAVE HAD JUST REMOVED HIM FROM HIS MENTALLY UNSTABLE MOM!? Yeah no, I still hate the gods. And now I sort of hate the ending of the books too because in the end they didn't really mean anything, and were sort of underweling imo.

[theseeingfawn]

Summary:

The infamous Shadowsinger finally reveals himself to the new gang in town, sending shockwaves through the criminal undergrounf. Meanwhile, Elain struggles to come to terms with her growing desires. As tensions rise, Azriel and Elain embark on a charged first date, unable to resist giving in to their powerful mutual attraction.

Elain

Why is it the moment you know you can't have something that's suddenly all you can think about? Last night, after Azriel left, I spent the rest of the evening in a daze. I washed the tea set we had used so many times I ran out of soap. I decided to binge watch Peaky Blinder but had no idea what was happening. I tried to take a bath but the one thing the water couldn’t cleanse were the dirty words Azriel had said in his deep shadowy voice. Gods the way he looked at me, somehow touching me without using his hands. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t stop thinking of him. His words echoing in my mind, playing on repeat. No fucking. No fucking. No fucking.

My body felt like a live wire of restless energy with no outlet. It took me hours to fall asleep. HOURS. 

When I  finally managed to drift off, I dreamt of him. He was doing the very thing he said he wouldn't. 

Now it’s morning and I’m barely awake floating between dreamland and reality. My skin is flush, my clothes feeling too restrictive. A part of me thinks he planned it. He seems devious in that way. Like he’s playing some reverse sex mind games on me and godsdamn him it’s working. 

The sound of my phone going off reminds me that I have to return to the real world. It’s Cerridwen begging to let her in the shop. In my panicked daze I throw together an outfit that doesn't make me want to die from heat exhaustion. I rush down the stairs and let her in. She whistles, “damn girl, you're looking hot.” I squint my eyes at her, “Why is it so hot in here? Is my AC broken?” 

She looks at me with concern, “it's a normal temperature, what has gotten into you? Oh shit, do you have a fever?” She slaps her hand onto my forehead. “Nah, you feel fine. But maybe you are fighting something? Do you know anyone who's sick?” I nod and mutter, “Azriel.”

“What did you say?”

I don't bother responding, I just head straight into the walk-in freezer for some relief.

-----------------------------------

“I’m telling you, it's a crime wave.” I hear Pauline shouting all the way from the kitchen. It's the morning rush when the townsfolk come in for their coffee and pasties. My shop is the first business open on Main Street and everyone, and I mean everyone , comes here before the day gets started. That's why I am scrambling from one end of the kitchen to the other preparing and finishing up orders. Usually I work up front but I'm not feeling up to socializing, despite the three shots of espresso I've had. I'm grateful I opted for less clothing today, with the heat of the ovens and me running back and forth, I am liquid fire. 

Cerridwen pops her head in looking flustered, “are you finished with those orders? I'm dying out here.” Cerridwen and her twin sister Nuala are my best friends and coworkers. They help me run the bakery. Sometimes, they even run it without me so I can take time off here and there. They’re the only people I trust to take care of my baby. So, when one of them says they need help, I know all hell has broken loose. “Let me plate these quiches and I'll be right out.” I finish up my task and carefully balance five plates on my forearms and hands. When I step out of the kitchen, I see what Cerr meant. It's standing room only and there is barely any standing room.

“I'm telling you Lucien, first Gabriel was streaking and now Lainey’s got her tits and ass out.” I nearly drop my plates. Thankfully, Cerr is there to lighten my load and help me out. Lucien has his back to me and gently pats Pauline on the arm, “Now Pauline, I told you Azriel was just running. It's not unusual for a man to take his shirt off while exercising. Besides, that is why we have the citizens watch.” Pauline huffs, “that's what I'm trying to tell you Lucien, our citizen watch has a report on Lainey.” I sit my plates down at their respective tables and walk up to Pauline. 

“What the hell Pauline?” She gasps like we’re on a soap opera, “Lainey, don't you run that potty mouth around me. Look at you dressed like a harlot and cursing like a sailor, what is happening in Hewn Hills?” 

Lucien looks me over, utterly bored. I glare at him until he turns his head away. “It's called a mini skirt Pauline,” I deadpan. She scoffs, “Well, Lucien, what are you going to do about it?” I cross my arms and look at him, “Yeah Lucien, what are you going to do about it?” I'm in no mood to humor the citizens watch today. I'm cranky, hot and out of fucks to give. Azriel has given me  permission to be bad, and after my terrible night of sleep, I’m more than willing to embrace the dark side. Lucien sputters, “well I… you see… Look Pauline, Elain isn't dressed like a harlot. So, I don't see an issue here.” She narrows her eyes at him, “Not like a harlot? She's all sexed up!” I hear Cerr snickering in the distance. The whole bakery goes quiet and turns toward us. Lucien looks me over one more time, “I don't think there's anything sexy about it.” 

Pauline guffaws, “I see what's happening here. It's like a boiled frog situation. You are so used to Elain's naked body you don't recognize when she's barely clothed.”

I feel my whole body shake with rage. Enough is enough . “Pauline, Lucien has never seen me naked. We are not in a relationship!” There is an awkward pause before Bob, the hardware store owner, says, “Didn't you two just go on a date?” 

Oh for the love of… how is my every move tracked by the people in this town. Lucien just stands there silent, not saying a word. It dawns on me that his unwillingness to speak up and clarify things has hurt me just as much as the gossip. All he has to do is set the record straight, say that we aren’t dating or he hasn’t seen me naked. Or heaven forbid I’m not required to date him. That I don't belong to him like I'm some sort of broodmare, but he doesn't. He is content with the status quo because it isn’t hurting him the way it’s hurting me . That spark of confidence, or maybe rage I felt earlier returns. “Lucien and I aren't dating. I'm… I’m seeing someone else.” I'm not exaggerating when I say the shock that filled the room was like a thunder clap. 

Before the town can scrape their jaws off the floor, I walk back to the kitchen and hide in the freezer. Not that I can escape the torrent of messages currently flooding my inbox.

Feyre: You're not dating Lucien? *read*

Nesta: Who is the mystery man I need to kill?! *read*

Cassian: Get it gurl! 🍑💦🍆 *read*

Rhys: Elain, Please respond to your sister. *unopened*

Hewn Hills Hussies group chat: 

Nu Nu: 🍾 girls night stat

Cerr: we need the deetz

*read*

Mr. Naked: Got something you want to tell me?

Elain: I didn't name drop I swear! I just panicked.

BUZZ. BUZZ. BUZZ

“Well … well… well if it isn't Mrs. Naked.” I groan. He laughs. I bang my head against a 20 lb sack of flour. “It’s not funny, I panicked Azriel, I couldn't handle the whole town thinking Lucien’s seen the goods.” He hums, “yes, they are clearly concerned for you.” I let out a long suffering sigh. 

I hear loud music and talking in the background, “Where are you?” 

“A bar.” 

I laugh nervously, “Why are you at a bar at 8 am? Why is a bar even open at 8 am?” 

The echo of pool sticks clanging fills the air, “I'm at work.” What kind of job does this man have?  

The image of him smiling wickedly as he said “bad things done extremely well” pops into my head. He rendered me speechless with those words, so much so that I forgot to press further. If he thinks I'm going to drop it he's delusional. I'm nosy and love a good secret. Nothing will keep me from finding out. But he doesn't need to know that. I can play the long game. 

“Well, your job seems a lot cooler than mine and I'm in a freezer.” 

“Why are you in the freezer if you're barely clothed, Mrs. Naked?” 

I groan pathetically, “I'm not naked Azriel, I'm wearing a mini skirt and a crop top.”

“And no bra.” 

I gasp. “What!?” I nervously look around. Does he have spies everywhere? Maybe he is James Bond. “How do you know that?” 

I can almost hear his smug smile. “Did you know there is a town discord?” I shake my head, the horror of my reality hitting me at full force. I let out a pathetic little, “No.” 

“Well there is and according to slimjim46 you're not wearing a bra. Sadly no pictures though.” 

What in the hell is going on?  

“Ughhh, how do you know about the town discord but I don't? And my chest is no one's business.” 

“It's my job to know these things and some might say it's your boyfriend's business.” Before I can respond he asks almost tenderly, “Do you need to give them my name so you come out of the freezer?” 

My stomach does a little flip. He's willing to take on the insanity that is this town for me and gods know what with his job. “That's sweet of you to offer but I need to woman up and clean up my own messes. Besides, it's more fun to leave them guessing.” 

I can hear his grin through the phone, “it's also the bad thing to do.” I agree and whisper, “so bad.” I swear I hear a groan before he says, “tell me Elain, what's got you so hot and bothered?” 

I roll my eyes, “who says I'm hot or bothered?” 

His voice dry and straight to the point, “you're currently hiding in a freezer and your teeth aren't chattering. Seems like something or someone has gotten under your skin.” The arrogance of this man is unbelievable but my gods is it a turn on. 

“Elain, I told you we can't fool around.” 

I let out a very unconvincing, “pfft that's not what's going on here.”

I sense his damn smug smile again, “Good, then you are ready for our first lesson in being bad.” I swear he pauses for dramatic effect, leaving me waiting on bated breath.

“I’m busy the next few days but I can take you out on our first date on Thursday night, if that works for you?” 

I pretend to think about it, “Yeah, I'm free.” 

“I’ll send you instructions, and Elain be sure you’re dressed to ride.”

-----------------------------------

It took me several minutes to realize what he meant by ride. Hello gutter, have you met my mind the last twelve hours? He meant a ride on his motorcycle… obviously. The problem is I don’t have any cool clothes for riding a motorcycle, but I know someone who does. I spend the rest of the day dodging questions at the bakery and avoiding my growing list of unanswered text messages and voicemails with the exception of one person… Nesta. 

She usually avoids me and everyone else for that matter unless she needs something. Which is why she attends Inner Circle dinners, Rhys and Feyre are bankrolling her life. I take a deep breath and text her…

Elain: Can I come over after work?

Nesta: 🙄 fine but you better tell me about your boyfriend. 

I worry my lip with my teeth. There is no way I am telling her about Azriel but as long as I can get my foot in the door, I can sweet talk my way into what I want. 

I change out of my skirt and throw on a pair of cut off shorts. I am still feeling overheated and decided to ride my bike over to Nesta’s place just so I can feel the wind in my hair. Her studio apartment is located in a less desirable area of Hewn Hills, which doesn’t mean much since the whole town is beautiful. What makes the area rough is the slightly overgrown lawns and the occasional abandoned vehicle. I knock on the door and wait for Nesta to answer. I hear the sound of empty cans and bottles being kicked around before the door cracks open. The light from outside reveals a sliver of one of Nesta’s cold gray eyes looking at me. She slides the chain off the rail and opens the door wider. 

Her apartment is littered with empty alcohol containers. It smells of spilled beer and stale sweat. I take a steadying breath, trying to remind myself that she doesn’t want my help, no matter how many times I offer or down right beg. That doesn’t mean I don’t bring her food when I can or find excuses to bump into her. She turns away and slinks back to the ratty used couch she found near a dumpster. She plops down and covers herself in a throw blanket before she barks, “What do you want?” 

I take an uneasy step inside before I say, “I came to see if I could borrow some clothes.” She eyes me suspiciously and nods her head toward the rack of clothes near the bed. I start to comb through my options when she asks curtly, “so, the boyfriend. Who is he?” 

I close my eyes and brace myself for the interrogation before the fight, “No one you know.” I hear her stand from the couch and approach me, “where did you meet him?” I avoid looking at her, “I met him in Velaris, after my failed date with Lucien.” It was close to the truth, I did see Azriel after my date with Lucien. The best lies always hold some truth to them. 

“Does he have a name?” I exhale sharply, “Yes, but as I said you wouldn’t know him.” My hands catch on a pair of black leather pants. They are dark and sleek, they remind me of Azriel. Not my usual style but that's why I'm here, to step out of my comfort zone. To break out of the box I've been in my whole life. Maybe I'm not the kind of girl who wears leather pants but I'll never know unless I try. I pull them off the hanger and ask Nesta if I can borrow them. She raises a sharp eyebrow at me, like she can’t quite believe what I am asking. “You want to wear those?” she says incredulously. “Yup,” is all I can manage. 

She scoffs, “They're a bit sexy for you, don’t you think?”

Before I can answer, she barrels ahead, “Do you need to impress this new boyfriend? Is he not into prim flower girls?” 

I cut my eyes to her, “Why do you care?” 

“I don’t. It just seems rather sad that you have to pretend to be dating someone. When are you going to grow a spine and tell Lucien to fuck off?”

I sigh and take a calming breath before I reply, “Lucien knows I'm not interested and I assure you, he is not interested in me.”I hate the way she makes me feel, like I need to answer to her, that she is the arbiter of my life. I try to remind myself that she is in a vulnerable place right now. What she needs from me is patience. T his is what Nesta does, she lashes out before anyone can hurt her. And I always have to be the bigger person, the kinder sister, the one willing to bend so nothing else breaks.

I remind myself that deep down Nesta is sensitive, she loves fiercely and that’s why she behaves the way she does, she is frightened. She hasn’t been the same since our fathers death. Despite her claims she hated him, she was deeply hurt by his years of neglect. She hasn’t truly healed. I’ve learned the hard way that there is no helping Nesta unless she wants to help herself. 

I settle on avoiding a confrontation that will lead nowhere, “Can I please borrow the pants? I promise to return them.” 

She sighs, “Fine.” 

I mutter a thank you and head for the door.  “Good luck with your fake boyfriend Elain, don’t come crying to me when it blows up in your face.” I’m two steps outside her front door when a lonely tear falls down my cheek. I take the small bag of groceries from the basket on my bike and I place it on her doorstep. I pull away and wait for her to open the door and take the food before I go home.

Azriel

I end my call with Elain and look at the photo that’s now saved in a secret folder hidden among the apps of my phone. I lied, there was a picture of Elain on discord and she’s wearing a skimpy little outfit, so far from her typical attire I’m surprised she owns such a thing. I, of course, tracked down the user who posted it and got his IP address. The background check is in the works and I fully plan to ruin his life. I take one long look at the picture before I block her from my mind for the next few hours. 

The email Devlon sent me yesterday included a report of a bar fight where an unregistered handgun was seized. One of the suspects was reportedly wearing a leather vest with a gang emblem associated with The Attors, a broken crown with three drops of blood. Hybern’s crew has officially made their move and now I can make mine. After I left Elain’s, I spent most of the night staking out the bar from the safe house. No gang members were spotted until this morning. One of the peculiar things I’ve noticed about this bar is that it never closes. A sign the Attors’ are up to no good. Which is why I am now sitting at the bar first thing in the morning waiting to strike. The code phrase worked at getting me inside but if the weary looks of the patrons are any indication, my presence is both noted and unwelcomed. I suppose they are not used to seeing people this early in the morning who aren’t a part of the “business.” I feel more than see a figure come to stand behind me. 

“Are you new to this area, friend?” I refuse to turn and look at him, if he wants to talk he can look me in the eye. Sensing my unwillingness to bow to his display of intimidation the man steps forward and sits beside me. I note the hint of an accent and the vest he’s wearing. I fight back the smug grin threatening to reveal itself. It’s go time.  

“No, but you are.” I note the barely perceptible tick of his jaw as he glares daggers at me. Clearly not used to losing the upper hand. The nervous bartender comes forward and places a wobbling glass of whiskey next to the Attor. I use this opportunity to pull my hand out and place it on the bar. The bartender stumbles back and mutters a curse.  A wave of awareness sweeps through the bar. The faint whisperings of Shadowsinger sound like screams in the now quiet bar. The scars on the back of my hand have become something of a signature. A grim calling card that not only echoes my fathers cruelty by my own reputation. I can feel the confidence of the man next to me slip, suddenly unsure of the situation he now finds himself in. 

“You are in my town, friend .” The throat of the Attor bobs in apprehension. “Let’s get acquainted, shall we?” I let myself smile, one I reserve for men like him and unsheath the dagger at my side. 

-----------------------------------

It takes an hour to scrub the blood off of my body. I am barely dressed before Devlon calls and congratulates me on a job well done. My little show at Amarantha’s has already sent a shock wave through the criminal underground that the Shadwosinger is back in Windhaven. “Lucky for you that your father’s legacy hasn’t faded in all of these years.” I don't respond. The only legacy my father left is fear. The same legacy I’m leaving behind. Devlon takes my silence as an incentive to keep talking, too often silence only breeds more drabble. “The local police called to beg for our help already, you should be proud.” I snort. “The local sheriff told me that organized crime has been down over the last few decades, it’s a good thing you showed up when you did.” I grunt like a brute because that’s exactly how I feel after the little display of violence at the bar. 

“Why Devlon, that almost sounds like praise.” 

”Yeah well, don’t let it go to your head, your ego is already over inflated.” 

I should feel proud but instead I just stare at my hands and feel shame. This is why I need to keep my relationship with Elain superficial. She can’t get close, I can’t expose her to this side of me. I tell myself I do the things I do for work to help make the world a better place. But the truth is I enjoy it. I like taking power and exerting control over someone. I like the sound of them pleading. Whether it’s because I was once weak and fragile I don’t not know. What I do know is Elain deserves better. I close my eyes. Rhys was right to be worried. To warn me away. But, I am a selfish bastard and I can’t keep away. 

Elain

The next few days pass in a blur. The rumor mill about who I’m dating was in full swing and I noticed more than a few people keeping a close eye on the bakery. Feyre calls several times but I let them all go to voicemail. I’m grateful she’s too wrapped up in Velaris to give me the full weight of her attention. 

I join Cerridwen and Nuala for a girls night where I tell them about my new boyfriend. I don’t give them Azriel’s name but I share what I can about him. Including the sex embargo he’s imposed. They listen intently, they don’t tease me or pressure me to reveal more information than I am comfortable with. That’s one of the things I love most about them, they meet me where I am and never demand more than I am capable of giving.

“He sounds like Jason Bourne or maybe a mafia don.” I nod, “That’s what I’ve been thinking!” Cerridwen pours a generous helping of margarita before plopping down on my couch. “Have you Googled him to see if you can find anything?” offers Nuala. “Of course I Googled him but he’s off the grid. Not even a social media profile.” They give each other knowing looks, “definitely a spy then.” 

Nuala giggles, “Wait, is that why you were so flustered the other morning?” I feel my cheeks start to heat, “umm… yeah, that was after the whole no fucking talk.” 

She thinks for a minute, “Maybe penis is broken?” I choke on my drink,“No, I don’t think it’s that.” They both take a minute to think it over before Cerridwen adds, “Maybe he’s afraid of intimacy, those strong brooding types always are.” That makes more sense than the broken penis thing. 

Nuala gives me a devious smile, “You should test him!” I glance at her confused, “test him?” She nods and sits her glass down, “you know, see how committed he is to abstaining. If you are this hot and bothered there is no way he is unphased.” 

“I don’t know he seems like the type of man who is unflappable. Besides I get the feeling he won’t like being pushed. He’s been more than kind so far, I want to respect his boundaries.” 

Cerridwen rolls her eyes, “Uh huh, aren’t you supposed to be bad?” I smile at her, “baby steps.” 

Nuala claps her hands excitedly, “I know what you need!” She reaches for her phone, fingers flying as she types. Nuala looks at Cerridwen. They do that creepy twin thing where they communicate without speaking and then say in unison, “vibrator.” 

“I’m not sure that’s what I need.” They both wave their hands dismissively, “Come on Elain, you are dating a hot man who refuses to dick you down. And you're too nice to test him on it. How else are you going to survive?” I pause for a second and realize they have a point. Before I can answer Nu ominous replies, “it’s done.” 

-----------------------------------

The next day, date day, I find a manilla envelope under my door. Inside is a note from Azriel addressed to me:

Elain,Meet me at the townhouse at 6 PM. Don’t deviate from the plan. 

-Azriel

Inside is a map with detailed instructions on how to walk to the townhouse without being detected. There are handwritten notes in the margins explaining which position is better and why. There are timestamps and coordinates. I half expected the note to self-destruct after I finished reading it. One thing's for certain the man is thorough which begs an intriguing question of what it would be like to kiss him. Noooope I’m not letting myself go there. 

I put on the leather pants and stare in the mirror. I feel a little bit like Sandy in Grease when she goes through her bad girl makeover in an attempt to win over Danny Zuko. But mostly I feel like I'm on the cusp of a fundamental shift. Like I'm finally becoming who I've always wanted to be. Someone bold, adventurous and willing to be a little dangerous. I trace the curve of my hip and a thrill shoots down my spine. I'm about to jump off a cliff leaving the old Elain behind. I'm going to embrace the side of me I've hidden away. The part of me that's clawing to be let out. 

I look over at the pink package that was delivered this morning. The vibrator Nuala ordered taunts me like it knows exactly what I’m thinking. But I can’t go there, not now. 

Inhaling long and hard, I focus on the plan. I’m to meet Azriel inside the townhouse garage. He claims he will orchestrate a diversion so that we can pull out of the garage on his motorcycle undetected. Listen, this is high stakes stuff. Even Jack Ryan would be sweating if he were faced with the potential of Pauline’s discovery on one of his missions. I might as well go on Instagram Live with it because everyone from here to Velaris will know that Azriel is my secret boyfriend before I even have time to ride his motorcycle.

I snake my way through trees and hedges just as Azriel instructed, clinging to the shadows. I ignore the weeds in Josie’s flower bed that need to be pulled and the whining of Bob’s hound dog begging for pets. I slink my way around corners and alleyways as I make my way to the townhouse. I spot the side door of Feyre’s garage. It’s left cracked just as he said it would be. Here’s the tricky part. I have to sneak in undetected. There is just one neighbor with a clear shot of the door. Azriel said to wait until exactly 5:55 pm. That’s when Sam, the town’s only accountant, will leave his home office for the rest of the day. I peek up to see his window is cracked and he’s on a business call. My cell says it’s now 5:56 and I start to panic. I’ve followed his instructions perfectly at this point. Should I just run for it? Do I not care if Sam see’s me sneak into my sister’s house? Before I make a decision I hear Sam end his call and the sound of his footsteps fading. I rush for the door and slam it shut behind me. A thrill runs through me, I feel dangerous, my blood pounding and my chest heaving. I’ve never felt this way before and it’s intoxicating.

Azriel

I turn to see a panting Elain pressed against the side door, her eyes pressed closed and a small smile forming on her lips. I’m far too pleased to see that she followed my instructions. “Hi,” I say, looking her over and holy gods.“Hi yourself,” she says in a flirty tone. Her long golden hair is braided and draped gently over her delicate shoulder. She’s wearing skin tight leather pants that hug her supple curves. They look so good on her, like she’s destined for the dark side. My eyes trace up her form and snag on the sheer white t-shirt that reveals a hint of the baby pink bra underneath. The sunlight from the door window lights up her heart-shaped face. I swear the sunlight hits this woman differently than other people. The golden rays sink into her skin and make her glow. 

The urge to run my hands over those curves causes my fingers to twitch at my side. Desire punching me in the stomach. I can’t help it, I keep staring - and everything gets so much worse as Elain turns around to look out the window, making sure the coast is clear. My gaze sweeps over the dip of her waist to the swell of her perfect ass. My cock twitches.  

As hard as it is, I remind myself to focus and pull out the amethyst gift bag I’ve stashed away. “For the ride,” my voice is more husky than I anticipated.  

Her hand gently grazes mine as she takes the gift from me. A pulse of energy sends a shiver down my spine. I watch as she pulls out the black leather riding jacket I spent way too much money on. Her fingers sweep over the supple buttery material and dance over the delicate flowers embroidered down the forearms and along the collar. The pattern is a mix of bright red roses, plum colored violets, and pink begonias intricately stitched with verdant leaves. The letter E is elegantly sewn along the left lapel. It’s probably too much but it reminded me of Elain and I wanted her to have it. Even if all we get is this one ride together it's worth it. 

She tugs on the jacket an asks, “How do I look?” 

I swallow the lump forming in my throat, “Perfect.” More than perfect . Elain walks toward me, placing her warm hand on my arm as she stands on her toes and kisses my cheek. “Thank you.” The gesture takes me by surprise and nearly unravels me. All the brooding self deprecating thoughts from earlier this week melt away with that painfully sweet gesture. 

Clearing my throat, I turn my attention back to the point of our date and gesture Elain toward my motorcycle. We walk through the proper way to get on and off a bike. Noting to avoid the muffler pipe on the side that will get hot enough to burn. I explain that we’re going to ride to the base of Ramiel, a mountain in the Illyrian steppes. Her eyes sparkle with excitement as I pass her a helmet. I lean forward and gently tighten the strap under her chin. Unable to resist the opportunity to help her, to touch her, to do more. 

Swinging my leg over the bike, I turn to her and pat the spot behind me. Her soft thighs press into mine and a thrill runs through me knowing how intimate riding together will be. 

As we take off, I hear the explosive I put in the neighbors trash can go off, providing us with the perfect distraction to ride off and leave the world behind. 

“Hold tight and don’t make a sound.” 

-----------------------------------

I try to take in the sensations of riding but all I can think about is the feel of Elain’s soft body pressed against mine. The way her hands grip my waist. Despite all the layers of leather we still feel impossibly close. It takes awhile for my thoughts to clear long enough to feel the familiar rush of the wind as it moves past us. How the motorcycle hugs the curves of the road. I increase the speed, feeling the familiar rush of blood pounding in my ears as adrenaline takes over. I feel free. I feel alive. I hear Elain giggle in my ear. Like she can’t help the burst of joy that springs free as we fly down a steep hill. I laugh with her, unable to mask my own happiness. “Oh, I didn’t realize the helmets have mics.” Her shyness quickly fades as we round another curve. “This is amazing,” she shouts like she might burst with joy.

For the next half hour we make our way around the winding road that leads to Ramiel. I point out interesting parts of the terrain. I find myself sharing funny stories of my childhood with Rhys and Cass. It’s always easier to open up with Elain, even when I have every intention not to. When we’re not talking I relish the peaceful quiet moments. Content just to be here with her, where I don't have to share her with anyone else. 

The summer evening is fading into the golden glow of dusk. Ramiel looms ahead like a great mythical beast. “There is a small bar up ahead that we can stop and eat at. It's nothing fancy but it's one of the only places in Illyria I like.” I hope she doesn’t hear the subtext of my statement. Unlike Cassian, I loathe Illyria and my past here. But she doesn't push me.  As someone whose worst days constantly define her present, I think Elain sympathizes with my reluctance to share my darker memories. I try not to think about those now. Not while I'm with her. I don't want to tarnish this precious time I have with Elain for anything.

We pull up to a small building, aged and weather worn, there is a rustic sort of charm to it which is why I felt safe bringing her here. It’s not the type of spot tourists would visit but a hidden gem that only a local would love. The parking lot is gravel with a few motorcycles parked out front. The sign was faded but legible enough, ‘Siphon Station.’ We park the bike and get off. Turning to Elain. I gently unbuckle her helmet and offer her a scarred hand to help her down. I watch as she nervously messes with her braid, making sure it is suitable. 

I gently place a hand on her lower back and walk us through the front door. The place is smaller than I remember, there’s the familiar bar with eight stools, a few booths on the far side and a pool table in the back. Adjacent from the pool table is a dart board on the wall. Some of my favorite memories of Illyria are from this bar, getting drunk with my brothers and emptying their pockets when I beat them at every game we played. 

There are just a couple of other customers scattered around and a barman. They all stop and stare at us as we walk in and they quickly avert their eyes. I see Devon is right, my presence has already spread like wildfire . I lead us to a booth where Elain sits while I grab us something to drink. The barman pours us two whiskey shots while avoiding looking at me. Before I can pull out my wallet he mutters it’s on the house. I walk back to Elain, who is carefully taking in our surroundings. I hand her one of the glasses and sit across from her.

“Is this bar you called me from the other day?”

“No, that was a place in Windhaven.” 

She nods, “What kind of work required you to be at a bar so early in the morning?” There she is. No one else dares to ask me such direct questions, especially not about my work. I like that she isn’t afraid of me, that she feels safe asking but I can’t share that part of myself with her. So, I down my drink and stare into her eyes, “the kind I can't talk about.” 

I can see the urge to push me on it, to fight the rules I laid out. There is a quiet rebellion in Elain, one that tells me she doesn't like to do what she's told. Neither do I. That fact that we share that same defiant spark turns me on. I rub my hand through my hair, in an attempt to clear my head of my treacherous thoughts. 

“Have you checked out the town discord yet?”

She shrugs, “I'm afraid to look, why?”

“There's a poll on who your secret boyfriend is.”

“Oh gods,” she groans and puts her head on the table. “I'm half afraid to ask but, who are the contenders?”

I pull out my phone and show her. The options are Lucien, Graysen, Mr. Naked and lastly Elain is lying. Currently the last option is winning with Lucien not far behind. 

“Well, it looks like our secret is safe,” she says. Elain doesn't seem surprised by the results. She sighs heavily, “Nesta said I was making up a boyfriend too. I don't know which is worse, that they think my love life is their business or that they don't seem to know me at all.”

The barman places two plates on the table with sandwiches and pub chips. We eat quietly for a few moments before I ask, “Can I ask you something?” she nods. “Why don’t you tell them how you feel?” She looks at me confused, ”Who?” I give her a knowing look, “your sisters, the town, Lucien, you know… all of them.”

She mulls it over for a minute, “I don't want to hurt their feelings.” I shake my head, “You just walk around all day worrying about other people's feelings?” 

She gives me a bewildered look, “Yeah, don't you?’ 

“No.” Then more teasingly I ask, “Elain, how do you get anything done?” 

She gives me a small teasing smile, “It's really hard.”

I laugh. A deep belly shaking laugh. She is so funny when she’s not hiding herself away. 

“What would you do if you didn’t have to worry about what everyone else thought or expected?”

She takes a deep breath, like no one has ever asked her the question before and it makes me angry and sad for her. “Well, I’ve always wanted to travel. Anywhere really but if I had to choose where to start, I would want to see the tulip fields in the Netherlands first.” I listen, completely mesmerized by the quiet passion in her voice as she explains the cultivation process and the wide variety of bulbs used. She raves about how special the flowers are because they bloom for such a short period of time. 

Desperate for me I demand, “What else?” 

She looks at the rose on my hand and nods to it, “I’ve always wanted a tattoo.” I lean forward, feeling more than a little pleased.

“Why haven’t you?” 

She shrugs, “I don’t know. It would be too shocking. It would be out of character.” 

My eyes meet hers, “It seems to me, Elain, that you are waiting for someone to give you permission to be yourself.” 

She lets out a ragged breath, “That’s not true.” 

I click my tongue and run the pad of my thumb across her lips, “Did you know, you press your lips together right before you lie?” She closes her eyes, as if savoring the touch. She's so beautifully responsive. It makes me want to lay her out on the pool table and see how many little gasps and moans I can draw out of her. 

She says softly, a barely perceptible whisper, “I don’t know how to be anything else.” 

I release her face, “that’s not true, the hiding is the act, who you are is already there.”

She looks at my hand again, I see her fingers twitch as though she’s tempted to trace the ink there. She says shyly, “I’ve always admired the tattoo on your hand.” I look at my mottled hand and a wave of affection sweeps through me at the memory. 

“I actually designed this, I got it for my mother.” My heart squeezes a little. I wanted a reminder of the beauty in the world, a reminder of all the happy moments with her and I could think of no better place than my mutilated hand. My mother has always been the only person I could feel safe with, the only one who truly loves me no matter what. Before I realize it I start to speak.

“When I was a child, I rarely got to see her. I told you of how she taught me about flowers and told stories. Her favorite flower is a rose and she had these massive hedges of them in her backyard. Roses of every shade and variety. They were so beautiful. I would play there pretending in those hedges like they were part of my enchanted gardens. When it was time for my father to come and get me I would hide in those hedges. I knew he couldn’t reach in and grab me without cutting himself on the thorns. He didn’t know all the secret ways to slip in without getting scratched. I was safe there, tucked away in my mothers roses. Since then roses have reminded me of my mother, of the beauty she cultivated and the safety they provided.”

I notice her watching me closely and I know what she’s thinking. “Come on - don’t give me that look, please.” 

“Am I giving you a look?”

“Yes, a heavy one.” I bite the side of my cheek, “I’m fine now, it’s in the past.” Her eyes soften as she looks at me with concern.

Her soft finger grazes over my jaw, “If I press my lips together when I lie, then you bite the inside of your cheek when you do.” I turn away from her touch, stunned by how well she can see the truth behind the carefully constructed facade I hide behind. 

I turn my attention back to the topic at hand, “Let’s figure out what tattoo you should get.”

She gives me another look, like she might push me but to my relief she decides to drop it instead.

“Hmmm…  I don't know, maybe a slice of pie or a piece of cake here.” She points to the delicate skin on her wrist. “Or even here.” She turns and runs a hand along her ribs and underneath her breast. I let myself imagine it for a second and I run my tongue along the front of my teeth. “You should definitely get that it would be very sexy.”

“You think I would be sexy with a tattoo?”

I snort out a quick laugh. She must be joking. “No Elain. Don’t get it twisted. I already think you’re sexy without a tattoo. So I know you would be with one.”

She shifts uncomfortably, a look of anger and maybe even disappointment on her face. Something I said struck a nerve but before I can ask she quickly adjusts her expression. She smiles but it doesn’t reach her eyes. It’s the smile I’ve seen her give Lucien a thousand times. Never once has it been directed at me. My hands clench and I want to demand for her to tell me what’s going on in that head of hers but she didn’t push me on my childhood and the least I can do is let this go. For now.

“Anything else?”

“I wasn’t lying when I said I was a fan of Sons of Anarchy. I’ve always wanted to ride a motorcycle. So, thank you.” I give her a mischievous smile, “You want to drive it?” She stares at me unsure if I’m sincere, but she nods emphatically. I stand up and reach out my hand, “then you'll have to earn it.”

I hold onto her hand and take her over to the dart board. “You'll have to beat me if you want to ride.” The tension from a moment ago is gone and is replaced with something else. 

She crosses her arms over her perky chest drawing my eyes to the lace peeking through the thin fabric. “and what do you get if I lose?” 

I grab a handful of darts and walk toward her, “if you lose, you'll have to get that tattoo.”

“But I've never played before.” Her doe eyes batting at me innocently. If she thinks I’m going to go easy on her because she’s beautiful shes got another thing coming. I have a reputation to uphold. That doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy myself though. I look her over and a plan is starting to form. If she wants me to teach her a lesson, I’ll be more than happy to. In fact, I'm going to see if my theory is correct, that she's been thinking about me as much as I've been thinking of her. 

I tug her in front of the dart board and sweep my hand down her arm, appreciating the trail of goosebumps I leave behind. I place a dart between her unmarred fingers and bring her hand in front of us. She smells divine like jasmine and honey and I fight the urge to press my face into her neck. 

“The trick to darts is in the wrist. Keep your elbow up at a ninety degree angle and use your wrist to propel it forward.” I let my hand skate back down to her elbow and grip her there adjusting her position. 

Pressing my lips to her ear I whisper,“There you go honey, show me what you've got.” 

I smile as I feel her shiver in my grasp. She’s clearly still worked up from earlier this week. I decide to be nice and step away from her so she can focus on taking her shot. 

Elain sends the dart  forward and it hits the far left side, narrowly missing the board. 

She turns to me disappointed. Swaggering up for my turn I give her a pat on the back for effort and then easily send a dart into the red circle in the center. 

“Now let’s try this again. Remember to flick your wrist like this,” I say as I take her hand into mine and move it back and forth. She bites her lip as she leans back into me. “And I keep my arm up like this, right?” My hand tightens on hers. I’m momentarily lost to the feel of her ass pressing into my cock and I imagine Cassian in the sauna to try and keep an erection from forming. Thankfully that does the trick. “Azriel?” Elain asks completely oblivious to where my mind has gone.

“Yes, just like that,” I manage to say. 

She steps out of my grasp and I watch as her shoulders relax and she loses the dart and it lands directly in the middle, a perfect bullseye. Almost too perfect. She turns to me with a satisfied smirk on her face. I narrow my eyes at her, “Elain.” 

Her smile drops ever so slightly, “beginner's luck?” she says innocently. 

“ Elain .” 

She steps toward me, “maybe, you're just that good of a teacher.” 

Her eyes meet mine, a twinkle of wicked delight is dancing there.

“ Elain .” I nearly moan. 

“What's the matter? Afraid you'll lose?” 

I know she’s bating me. I know she’s using my competitiveness against me. I’ve been played and I’m too turned on by her devious smile to be mad. I want to taste that smile. I want to pin her against the wall and see what other little games she’s like to play. But I also want to win.

I scoff, pressing forward, nearly nose to nose with her. I lean down to press my words into the hollow of her neck, “if you learn one thing about me honey, it’s that I never lose.” 

I reach down and pull the dart from her hand. I stalk toward the board, determined to get what I want. I always get what I want, one way or another. 

-----------------------------------

When we get back to the motorcycle, Elain has a faint pout on her lips. I would have never suspected her to be a sore loser, though she's too polite to admit it. Those brown eyes meet mine and I feel a little bit guilty. Normally I wouldn’t feel bad for winning so decisively but this is Elain. I never planned on denying her a chance to drive my bike. As if I could deny her anything. We get back on the motorcycle and I explain how there is an old dirt road at the base of Ramiel where she can safely practice driving. She whispers faintly through the mic, “Thank you, Azriel” and I smile to myself.

All around us are beautiful views. We’re elevated enough to see the rolling hills below but far enough down to see the peak of Ramiel standing proudly ahead. I bring us to a stop and help Elain off the bike. Then I slide backwards and pat the space in front of me. Placing my hands on her full hips, I gently guide her down until she is seated in front of me. I’m aware of her every move as I feel her lean back into my lap. My hands graze down the sides of her arms, placing her hands on the handle bars. I describe how to use the throttle and break, all the while I let my fingers hug hers as we practice gripping. 

“You think you got it?” She nods, I slide my hand down to her plump thigh and give her an encouraging pat, “‘whenever you’re ready.” 

Elain gently eases the throttle forward and we start moving, tentatively at first but with encouragement she becomes more confident in her ability. Her giggles of excitement fill my ears as she drives us down the road. I let my hands snake up to the middle of her waist, my hands nearly covering the entirety of her. The thought of it thrills me. I can’t resist the urge to pull her further into me. “There you go honey, you’re doing so well.” 

We near a curve and I bring my arm fully around her waist, pulling her tight, “lean into the curve with me,” enjoying the feeling of her ass pressing deeper into my lap. The route is quiet with nothing but views and the fading sun to keep us company. I focus on the road as best as I can. But I feel Elain everywhere. The sensation of her in front of me and the smell of her hair somehow getting through the face shield of my helmet. She presses her back into me and my grip on her tightens. Without realizing it, I find myself tracing circles on her lower belly. I need a space if I am going to maintain any sort of composure.

I direct Elain to pullover at a clearing up ahead. She awkwardly tries to break, failing to slow in a steady manner. I lean into her taking the handlebars to help. The change in the angle pushes her down beneath me and I swear I hear a faint whimper through the mic. She quickly takes off her helmet like she wants to avoid being heard. The last bit of the sun is falling behind the horizon. Dark blues and pinks paint the sky as the end of day nears. “Thank you for bringing me here, it’s beautiful.” Her expression is so open and trusting.

I changed my mind, the last thing I want is space. I wrap my arms around her and she leans back into my frame. “It’s one of my favorite spots in Illyria.” My head suddenly racing with how wrong it is to hold her like this, to want her when I shouldn’t. How she wouldn’t want my touch if she knew what my hands had done. Suddenly the image of the blood that coated them earlier this week flashes before me and I flinch.

She tilts her head back to look at me. My breath catches, my head suddenly quiet. I tenderly rub my knuckle across the apple of her cheek. For a moment, I think about kissing her but I remember the flare of hurt from earlier and can’t resist asking. “Elain, earlier when we talked you seemed to get upset with me. I'm sorry, if what I said bothered you.” 

“You have nothing to apologize for, Azriel.”

“I do though - I called you sexy and you seemed upset. I think I crossed a line and I want to apologize.”

“No, oh gods,” she buries her face in her hands, “I’m so embarrassed. Let’s just forget about it.”

“I’m sorry but I can't do that. What happened Elain? Are you upset I think you’re sexy? Are you afraid it’s going to change things between us?”

“No. I’m just upset because you’re teasing me!”

“Teasing you?”

“Yes, teasing me! I was finally opening up about the things that I want and you were mocking me. I felt silly because you are you and well I’m angel Elain. I forgot who I was supposed to be and you reminded me I’m nothing like the girl who gets tattoos, wears leather pants and seduces men in bars. It was just too much, it felt like a lie.” I press my hand against her lips to silence her.

“None of that was a lie Elain. I swear to you I’m not mocking you. I certainly don’t think you’re silly. And the part where I called you sexy is true you are unbelievably sexy. You weren’t even trying and you were seducing me.” And that’s when I notice the tears welling up in those honey colored eyes. I shift my hand from her mouth to her cheek and rub the tear rolling down her face. “Elain why does that make you cry?”

She turns her gaze from mine and shakes her head desperately like she’s hoping to shake her feelings away. “Because no one has ever said that to me before.” Those eyes open again and a burst of potent feelings hit me square in the chest. “They say it about Nesta and Feyre - but never me. I’m always praised for being sweet and kind and obedient. I’m the girl next door, the innocent one. I’m never viewed like that. Just the other day when I was at the bakery Lucien,” she trails off. 

“What did Lucien say?” I ask, feeling every muscle in my body go rigid. 

“Pauline was demanding he do something about my outfit and he said I wasn't sexy.”

“I’ll murder him.”

“Azriel,” she reprimands me with a surprised laugh. 

“I’m serious Elain. That guy doesn’t deserve to go on living for making you feel so shitty.” She laughs and I shift my hand around the back of her neck pulling her to face me completely. Not willing to let her go. “And he’s wrong about you. First, he was wrong about you being boring. You say you aren’t the type of girl that seduces men in bars but you had me eating out of the palm of your hand. Even when you think you’re doing something wrong you’re so godsdamn tempting that I wanted to lay you out and do things to you in the middle of the bar so filthy that they would have arrested us for public indecency. Second, how can you be boring when you light up every room you walk in with that perfect smile. My gods, you are drop dead gorgeous. So beautiful it’s hard to look at you and continue persuading myself that kissing you would be a mistake because of our agreement. And third, that ass.”

She gasps, “What about it?”

“Your ass is a masterpiece. Soft and curvy, it kills me. Your ass kills me Elain. And I need you to know if we weren’t just dating in the short term I would have already…” I let the sentence dangle as my eyes rake over her, implying everything I’ve dreamed of doing with Elain but not saying it out loud because I’ve already said too much as it is. In fact I think this is the longest I have talked in ages. What scares me the most is how much I enjoy talking to her. How I enjoy teasing her and coaxing out her reactions. I’m so good at playing games at seducing women. At strategically moving pieces around so that I can be seductive without having to actually give anyone a piece of myself. Without risking my feelings. But just now I was more honest than I’ve ever been in my life. 

I’m not playing games with Elain - I’m practically spilling my heart out to her. When our gazes lock again, her tears are gone. Instead her cheeks are rosy and she’s pressing a smile into the back of her hand. I gently angle her face closer to mine, “do you believe me?” She nods silently. And then her gaze drops to my lips. “You were wrong about something.”

“What’s that?”

“It wouldn’t be a mistake to kiss me.”

My heart pounds inside my chest. “It wouldn’t.”

“No. In fact, I think we should kiss because I could use the practice.”

“Elain, I told you we have to keep things PG.”

She smiles at me, “Kissing is PG according to the British Board of Film Classification.”

I fight back a smile. “Besides,” she adds, “I want to change the terms of our agreement.” She shifts until she is sitting facing me on the bike. “The whole thing started with me wanting to prove I’m not boring like Lucien said. That I can be bad… but the more time I spend with you, the more I feel myself coming to life. Something I can’t quite pinpoint but I don’t want to lose either. You make me feel different. I feel free when I’m with you. I feel adventurous and… curious.” A naughty twinkle sparks in her eyes and I feel my stomach clinch. I don’t respond, I have to know where this is going.

“So, I was wondering if you’d be someone to help me practice taking risks with, doing new things, and… maybe finding out who I am now?”

“Is that really what you want Elain?” I ask, dragging my thumb across her lower lip. 

“If it’s not too much to ask,” she says in a quiet whisper. 

“And tonight, you want to try kissing?”

Her chest rises with a heavy breath, “I haven’t kissed anyone in a couple of years. I need to shake off the cobwebs. See if I’m any good at it.”

That stuns me. 

I wrap my arms around her tugging her closer. I ask, “No one has kissed you in years Elain? How is that possible?” I’ve wanted to kiss her every second since I’ve met her. 

I feel her tremble against me. “Maybe there is something wrong with me. No one ever tries. I think my reputation makes men think I don’t like this stuff.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you.” I push back the hair that’s fallen loose from her braid and do what I’ve been fantasizing about since the day we met and sink my hands into her thick golden hair. I tug her head back and angle her face just the way I want it. I bend down to the corner of her mouth and whisper, “Nothing’s wrong with you honey.” 

“I might be bad at this,” she warns, eyes wide, watching me as I tease the edges of her lips. 

“I’m prepared.” And then just as I am about to close the gap, an idea hits me and I pull away. She looks disappointed, she thinks I’ve changed my mind.

“We still can’t fuck Elain, not unless you’re ready to fall in love with me.” She looks relieved that I still plan to kiss her. Those doe eyes are heavy lidded as if she’s intoxicated, “Good idea,” she adds and I smile. It’s not clear if she agrees with me that we can’t sleep together or if she thinks it's a good idea that we should. Either way,  I like the ambiguity of it. It will drive me crazy later wondering what she meant. The tension between us is cracking and I can tell she wants me to rush this and kiss her already, but the truth is, I love drawing it out. I love taking my time torturing us both. Truth be told there is no one I love torturing more than myself. 

Wrong - so wrong. It has never gone this far before.  But I don’t care. I need to know what the skin of her neck tastes like. What those perfect lips taste like. 

I sink my face down to her throat and lay one soft kiss there at the base. Her breath catches and I move to kiss under her jaw, opening my mouth to feel the warm press of her skin along my tongue. She shivers and I smile, moving up to kiss the corner of her mouth. The moment her warm, plush lips press into mine, my world spins. Any finesse or control I feel is destroyed, and I am suddenly at her mercy. 

She presses her body into mine and even though we aren’t doing more than pushing our lips together it already feels impossibly good. I force myself to keep it light even though I want nothing more than to have her bare and writhing beneath me. 

I only intended for it to be a quick luxurious kiss to get her blood warm. But damn . Her lips respond to mine as she rises to wrap her hands around my neck and my body thrums. My fingers curl into her hair and along the skin of her back. She’s so damn supple and as I slant my lips against hers I can’t help the slide of tongue into her mouth. 

Elain sighs the sweetest moan into my mouth as she parts her lips for me. Inviting me in to take more of her. She presses up and wraps her legs around my waist and our kiss quickly turns from chaste to devouring. I’m pulling her against me, my head swirling like I’ve had multiple rounds of whiskey. I savor every gasp and flick of her delicious tongue, every intentional press of her body into mine. And as I adjust myself back allowing her to climb even further into my lap the bike rocks unsteadily underneath us. What the hell am I doing? 

I want so much more than a kiss from her, and that’s why I pull away and slowly unwrap her arms from around me. “We should stop.” I say with a shaky voice. She doesn’t protest, seemingly agreeing with my thoughts. 

I rub the back of my neck. Get a grip Az it was just a kiss. 

“Was that okay?” Elain asks, self-consciously, and the very question is so absurd I nearly laugh. How she can doubt how sexy she is, how she unravels every ounce of my control. With my hand still on my neck I look at her knowing she can see how utterly wrecked I am by her. “Yes, honey, that kiss was more than okay.”

Elain turns away just a fraction and smiles to herself, and then does something so innocent, so honest it tears my cynical, terrified heart in half. She rests the tips of her fingers to her lips and smiles. 

As we pull into the garage later that night I have to ask, “Out of curiosity, what is your favorite flower?”

She drops her gaze to the flower on my hand and smiles. “Roses.”

[anas-aspiration]

Run

warnings: violence-weapons- angst

summary: the w people attack Alexandria, y /n and carl already fighting are forced to huddle together and get over it xoxo. 1683 words

Its a semi cloudy day, perfect for relaxing inside and doing nothing. It was also turning out great. You woke up, got dressed, remembered you have snacks downstairs, and started cleaning up. When you were in the bathroom brushing your teeth you hear your bedroom door open. Peaking out you see its carl, not surprised, since you guys go back and forth “sharing rooms”

"Oh good your up. Did you finish the spare shampoo I had under the sink?"

You covered your mouth trying to be polite and not laugh at his sternness "Uh yeah sorry I can ask Daryl to put that on the list. You'll get it by tomorrow."

He furrowed his brow "K."

"Whats your problem its just shampoo."

"God my problem is you. "

You were taken aback at how fast he snapped back at you. He didn’t usually act like an asshole but you knew he would eventually get out of his little mood swing. Internally you decided to help him get out of it faster by arguing.

You rolled your eyes "oh please elaborate! Because I'm sorry your having a bad morning but that has hardly anything to do with me."

"you're useless. Your ass doesn't do anything except hang around your little friends and eat shit. What good are you?"

Turning from the mirror to him you mustered up the meanest look you could. Then popped the tooth brush out of your mouth and rinsed preparing to go off on him. Who does he think he is calling you useless? He was just your 'bff' yesterday and now he's acting like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"First I am not useless. Do you even think before you speak because that doesn't make sense at all considering I am the one changing Judith's diapers, cleaning both your room, hers, and mine every week, and on top of that cooking your meals, so please come get me when your attitude is looking up. Cause I don't know who put you in this mood but its your job to get out of it."

You walked past him scoffing. Downstairs you grabbed your walkman, a bag of grapes, rollerskates and walked out the door.

You had been rolling around the neighborhood for a little while, enjoying the fresh air and exercise. Eventually, you came across a bench and decided to take a rest. As you sat down, you reached into your bag and pulled out a handful of juicy grapes. As you savored the sweet flavor, your mind wandered to thoughts of Deana and her parties. You realized that you could really use some fun right now, and hoped that Deana would throw another one soon. In the meantime, you decided to listen to some music on your Walkman. You scrolled through your playlist and selected "Rehab" by Lana Del Rey, letting the cute melody wash over you as you enjoyed a moment of peaceful solitude on the bench.

You sat there soaking in your thoughts mindlessly eating your grapes. You started noticing small things that you didn't notice before like how lifeless everything looked when it wasn't sunny. It made you think of Winter which was coming close. The thought of Christmas warmed your heart, but made you wonder how different it would be celebrating during the end of the world. Surely parents want their kids to have something like that. You definitely would even at your age.

Or maybe-

"HELP"

You quickly jerked out of your train of thought at the sound. Was someone hurt? Looking around you didn't see anything. But something told you to get somewhere safe. You stood up gathering your things shaking, when you started hearing more screams. Startled you just grabbed your roller skates and ran in the direction of your house. As you turned a corner you saw the mayhem. People cut into pieces and random people running around with machetes and other weapons. Now officially scared out of your mind you sprinted as fast as you could.

Morgan was in shackles, people being sliced, beaten. You caught a glimpse of someone with a 'W' on their forehead. The group Rick and morgan were murmuring about got inside the walls and are killing everyone. As you neared the house you heard someone laughing close behind you.

fuck.

"No no no no" You Turned your head to see who it was and you almost started crying. A big, probably three hundred pound, man was running behind you with a spear. You picked up the pace still a block away from the house.

You looked to your right hoping Rick or someone was gonna shoot him but instead you saw a handgun laying on the sidewalk. You bolted to it and immediately picked it up and blindly fired two shots in his direction.

One hit his arm holding the spear. You went to shoot again but *click*. You panicked then he charged at you then you fell back. Now your heart was beating faster than ever hoping you didn't just get yourself killed. He was on top of you and you stupidly threw a punch but it hit him. Blood trickled down his cheek and landed on you. He hissed at the pain, not from your power, but from the four cheap and prickly rings you had on. Before he turned back to hit back you pulled out your knife from your boot about to pierce his neck when a shot sounded. You winced then realized Carl had shot him.

You quickly wiggled from underneath him as you had tried earlier then stood up and wiped the blood off your jaw, still in shock.

"I had it."

"Barely." He said in a cocky manner, but with some sympathy in his voice. "Are you okay?''

"um.........Yeah i'm okay." You said

Now you were feeling faintish after only having grapes as a meal for the day and all the stress you had just been through. It seemed he had noticed this too because he grabbed your hand and started guiding you through the chaos back home.

A couple of hours passed, you were boiling noodles for a classic spaghetti in the kitchen. It felt strange casually cooking a meal after what happened. But there seemed to not be any right way to deal with the fact that you almost become road kill.

Carl was upstairs probably putting Judith to sleep and getting into his pajamas. Your feet began to tingle, a sign they were falling asleep so you decided to stroll over to the counter and sit there after turning the simmer down. You ran your soft hands through your hair then slowly rubbed your temples. You heard him come downstairs.

"Hey y/ n"

You looked up "Hey Carl, whats up?"

"Nothin, just uh put Judith down. Are you doing alright?"

"Yeah i'm as good as I can be at the moment. I just have a raging headache. Also- where did the others go?"

"Oh they were helping people clean up, now their at Deana's." He paused "But I just wanted to talk to you about this morning.. Im sorry for being um rude. I didn't mean what I said obviously I was just well.. I don't know. I'm also sorry because its my fault you were out there when the people attacked anyway. Do you forgive me?"

"Yes I forgive you" you said slightly giggling "I can't stay mad at you for long but thank you for also saving my life. Even if it was your fault I was out there you could have chose not to save me, your best friend, but you did."

He smiled at the way you punctuated best friend "yeah" He sat in the chair next to you staring at his hands as if he was thinking about saying something.

As you rose to attend to the food, he said, "Best friend huh?" to which you simply replied, "Yep haha". However, the conversation took an unexpected turn when he asked, "Have you ever thought of like... being more?"

You stood frozen for a second, before realizing he was probably watching you from behind.

You had considered this possibility before, but you didn't want to complicate things by bringing it up. The thought of him rejecting you made you feel uneasy, wondering if he would be scrutinizing your every move after. You tried to shake off the feeling, but it lingered in the back of your mind every time you saw him, thought about it, hell even dreamt about him. You thought it was time to confront him about it, or at least bring it up in conversation. You didn't want to be paranoid, but you also didn't want to ignore your instincts.

"hmm well" you said teasing him a little "what do you mean?"

"I'm just being dumb or whatever"

"No, your not, tell me" You said turning around and smiling. This gave him hope that you would feel the same.

"It's just, I woke up in a bad mood cause I overheard you with your friends last night talking about me. You said I come on too strong and It's obvious who I like and-"

"Oh my god no carl" you interupted " I wasn't talking about you I was talking about Abraham and Sasha. I love them both but it's so funny watching their little friends to lovers trope"

He laughed "ohhh, my bad um" "Well sorry for that too. But what I'm trying to say is I like you. I thought you didn't like me back so I got mad but- It's okay if you don't like me back I just needed to tell you because I couldn't hold on to that secret anymore." he said nervously running his hand through his hair.

You smiled and looked at him. You felt like everything that you didn't expect to happen today was happening at the strangest times.

"That- well I like you too. I was too scared to tell you because I was afraid you didn't feel the same way"

"Really?"

You nodded.

He stood up and walked over to your spot grabbing the warm wooden spoon from your hand and pulling you in for a kiss.

pt2??

A/N! :

HEY!! first post on this acc lmaoo. I posted this on watt pad originally like a month ago along with two other imagines (if you wanna check them out: leinsburg666) I wont be posting them here bc personally i think they are booty and i wrote them two months ago I’m obviously a new person duhh. but anyways i’m gonna write some more like this and PLEASE leave requests like good lord i will probably reply to all of them since i’m not sure a lot of people will see this bc the carl/reader fandom died in like 2018. hope this was enjoyable thoo 🩷