#oh this is evil. anyway megamind

[foggyfanfic]

First Date

Oneshot Summary: Roxanne Ritchi has a much harder time not panicking when she doesn't have a job to do, but she's a professional, god damn it! (Follow up to Meet Cute).

It wasn’t that Roxanne Ritchi, up and coming investigative reporter, wasn’t afraid of the resident super villain. If she was going to be completely honest (and she wasn’t) that moment when Megamind vaulted the table, grabbed her, and put a pistol to her head was the scariest moment of her life. If her back hadn’t been to him he surely would have seen the sheer terror that she had struggled to hide. But her back was to him, so he didn’t.

The thing was, she’d spent her first four years out of college working as a correspondent to the Defense Council in DC. It was pretty niche, and hadn’t resulted in a lot of screen time, but it had looked really good on her resume when she was applying to work in Metro City.

This was on purpose, of course. Metro City was her home, and she’d always planned to come back here as soon as she could.

Anyways, the Defense Council. She had seen some things. She had been in the building, interviewing members of the council, when it had been attacked by The Stiletto and her henchmen. Roxanne would have panicked when shots were suddenly being fired in what had moments ago been a quietly busy lobby, if not for The Quil taking charge and assigning her the duty of leading her fellow would-be hostages out of the lobby. It had given Roxanne something to focus on other than thoughts of “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit”.

And that was why Roxanne had continued the interview when Megamind pointed a pistol at her head.

It wasn’t because she was fearless, or had nerves of steel, it was because she knew from experience that the best way to keep yourself from panicking was to find a job to do, and do it.

She wondered, somewhat hysterically, if she should tell Megamind that. Roxanne had been minding her own business, doing some legwork for a story on the new public transit proposal, when suddenly Megamind was standing in front of her with a spray can. He sprayed something in her face and she blacked out, only to come to, tied up in the back of a car with a blindfold over her eyes.

She decided, instantly, that her current job was to absorb as many details as possible so she could report on this incident if she got free.

That and not panicking.

Which was why she lay there, silent, doing her best not to give away the fact that she was awake as Megamind bickered with somebody talking through a tinny speaker.

“I know it’s a bit cliché, but I told her that she hadn’t seen the last of me, I can’t just say that and not follow up on it. I have standards!”

“Yes sir, of course, but what are we supposed to do with her if your plan succeeds?”

“When, you mean, when my brilliant plan succeeds.”

“Of course, what are we supposed to do with her when your plan succeeds?”

“That's the best part, she’s a reporter, when my brilliant plan succeeds she’ll be able to tell the world about my genius.”

“Oh, that’s very clever sir.”

“Right?!”

Megamind kept talking, bragging really, about his intelligence, but Roxanne couldn’t quite focus on what he was saying. She was briefly swept away by a wave of relief. It didn’t sound like he was planning to kill her. All he wanted was a witness, she could do that, she could witness things.

The car came to a sudden stop and it was all Roxanne could do not to cry out. Thankfully, Megamind had wrapped the center lap belt around her waist so she didn’t go flying.

When he got out of the car she took a deep breath and reminded herself of what she’d learned when she was researching his inventions.

First, Megamind only ever hit civilians with non-lethal weapons, some of them were unpleasant but none caused lasting damage. Second, when he attacked Metro Man the battles had almost zero collateral damage. Third, despite calling himself evil he had only ever killed two people, one was in self defense, the other was a known serial killer with a habit of violently raping his rather young victims.

Overall, it was highly unlikely that he was going to hurt her. As far as her research showed, he was a dangerous man who nonetheless tended not to harm people if he could help it.

The car door by her head opened and Megamind leaned over her to unbuckle her. She knew it was him because he was shouting orders at somebody.

“And make sure the Saucers of Sadism are primed.”

“Yes sir, they’re warming up now.”

“Good, good,” he picked her up bridal style, being surprisingly gentle, “Where is the chair?”

“Chair?”

“Yes, chair. We have to put her on a chair, we can’t just leave her on the ground, it would be impossible to get her in the shot.”

“Oh um…”

“Oh for-! Well grab one, and hurry up, the spray is going to wear off any minute.”

There was a clomping sound, like somebody running off wearing metal shoes, while Megamind grumbled about having to plan everything himself. Roxanne did her best to remain limp as she struggled to see through the blindfold. There were a couple dots of light, and a sliver of gray where the blindfold didn’t quite meet her cheek, but for the most part the strip of cloth did its job.

Something beeped and Megamind sighed gustily, he stomped across the room, and placed her in a soft, high back chair before stomping a short distance away. Roxanne badly wanted to adjust her posture into something more comfortable, but didn’t want to tip him off that she was awake just yet. She heard the typing of keys and tapping of buttons.

“You! Bring Daddy a screwdriver.”

“Bowg bowg.”

The clomping came back, “Here we go! One chair.”

“Perfect, put it on the mark. And double check that it lines up right in the shot.”

There was a little more clomping, some more button tapping, and various “Hm no, a little-“ and one “Ah, right there” then she was picked up again and moved to a much less comfortable chair. This time, she adjusted her posture immediately, quietly smirking when she heard a small “Eep!”

“You know, the other one was much more comfortable,” she said, proud of how calm she sounded, “I don’t suppose you’d put me back.”

“No I will not,” Megamind answered immediately, his voice moving around her, “that’s my chair.”

The blindfold jolted then came loose, and Roxanne squinted until her eyes adjusted. There was a camera pointed at her, well, her and the black leather high back chair she had probably been sitting in a few seconds ago. She turned her head and saw a screen displaying what the camera was showing.

“Well, well, well, we meet again Miss Ritchi,” he said from right behind her, as if they were only just starting this interaction.

She sighed, “You messed up my eye make up.”

“What?” 

“My mascara is all smudged, and look, it’s going to show up on camera,” she gestured at the screen with her chin.

Megamind walked around her and over to the screen, he frowned at it, then turned to some of those floating cyborgs, “You, bring Miss Ritchi’s purse from the car, and you, grab some make up wipes.”

Roxanne raised an eyebrow at his back as he turned to the Brain Bot that was flying up with a screwdriver. Was he actually going to let her fix her makeup? This was almost like a professional broadcast. She tilted her head to one side and thought about the televised battles she’d seen in the past. Scratch that, this was a professional broadcast.

Good, that made it even easier to not panic.

She looked at the screen again and experimented with her posture. There, that looked pretty professional, or as good as she could get with her wrists tied in her lap.

“Hm, would look better with them behind my back,” she muttered without thinking. 

Megamind glanced up from the doodad he was fiddling with, he seemed to be checking something inside the casing, “What’s that?”

“Oh, nothing, it’s just hard not to slouch like this,” she said, then glanced up at the lights, “you know, you should get some actual spot lights if you’re going to be televising these. The ambient lighting isn’t bad, but sometimes it bleaches you out.”

“Does it?” The other voice asked and Roxanne swiveled her head until she found that fish in a robot that sometimes accompanied Megamind, “He looks fine on here.”

“Different TV’s have different color settings, some good lighting can help compensate for that,” she said as conversationally as she could, “I’m Roxanne by the way, I don’t think we’ve met.”

“Oh!” The fish’s fins fluttered as he blinked rapidly, apparently not expecting her to introduce herself, “It’s- I-I know who you are Miss Ritchi, I’m Minion.”

“Your name is Minion?” 

He shrugged, or rather the shoulders of the robot suit shrugged, “It’s a rough translation of what my title would be if we were on our home planet. It’s maybe not the most accurate one, but I like the way it sounds.”

“Oh, that’s pretty interesting,” she shifted so she could face him more, and he seemed pleasantly surprised by the continued attention, “So what is the most accurate?”

There was a loud clearing of the throat from Megamind’s side of the room, Minion glanced over at him then grimaced sheepishly, clomping over to some other machine that didn’t appear to be on and pressing random buttons to make himself look busy. It was actually sort of cute.

“Miss Ritchi, your makeup,” Megamind said, and she turned back to find the two Brain Bots returning, one with her purse, the other with some makeup wipes. He directed them her way while he was bent over a control panel attaching the doodad to a thingie and she immediately accepted the items.

“Thank you,” she said, somewhat automatically, then remembering what he’d said about these things being made from dogs she tacked on, “good cyborgs.”

The Brain Bots bobbed a little, bowging at her. Hopefully that was a good sound and not a warning sound.

It was a little difficult digging through her purse with her hands bound, but she managed. However, it was impossible to hold her mirror compact and pull out a wipe at the same time.

“Um,” she looked up at the Brain Bots that were still floating over her, “could you hold this mirror for me?”

“Bowg.” The closest one grabbed the mirror in a claw, cracking it but holding it steady.

“Thank you,” she said again, then began cleaning up the smudged mascara. With that done she pulled out her powder and evened out the color under her eyes. She looked from her reflection to the screen and back again. Finally she pulled out some eyeliner and gave her eyes some better definition, then checked her appearance again. Good, now she was ready to go on the air.

She put all of her makeup back in her purse then tried to take her mirror back. The cyborg pulled it out of her fingers before she could get a good grip on it, tossed it up in the air and opened its jaw to catch it, only for the other Brain Bot to snatch it up instead.

There was a great deal of bowging over this development.

“Uh Megamind?” she leaned around them to where Megamind was sitting down in his chair, apparently ready to start, “Your dogs just ate my mirror, that won’t hurt them, will it?”

Megamind froze, blinking at her. He didn’t answer her question and for some reason this was the thing her brain decided was worthy of panicking over.

“Oh my god, will it?! Did I just kill your cyborg dog? I am so sorry!” She could feel her bottom lip beginning to tremble, which was horrible, but at least if she cracked now he would think she was panicking over hurting his weird, cyborg dogs and not because she was stressed and scared and this was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

“No,” he suddenly burst, “uh no, no, the mirror is- it won’t hurt the Brain Bots.”

She sighed in relief, pulling herself back from the brink of a melt down, “Oh, that’s good.”

Megamind frowned at her, “Miss Ritchi, you are aware that you’ve been kidnapped, right?”

Roxanne was very aware of this fact, and she would thank him not to remind her, less she might lose her composure on live television.

She shrugged, “Yeah, and?”

“What do you mean ‘yeah and’?! I have you in my villainous clutches, you are in grave danger, completely at my mercy,” he seemed personally offended by her nonchalance.

There was a voice in her head that said, “Hey, Roxanne, maybe we should try our best not to provoke the guy that held you hostage and just kidnapped you.”

Unfortunately for Megamind there was a much louder voice that said, “Fuck this guy! Who the hell does he think he is? I have shit to do today.” And another which repeated, “You are a professional, you will not panic.” over and over.

“Grave danger,” Roxanne said, out loud, “really? You sure?”

“Am I-? Yes, yes I am quite sure,” his scowl shifted into an evil grin, “you told me I would have to earn a scream, and today I intend to do so.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

“Careful what you wish for Miss Ritchi,” he purred, then started laughing maniacally as he grabbed a big lever on the side of the control panel he was sitting in front of.

He flipped the lever and there was the whine of machinery before a large buzz saw suddenly descended from the ceiling, stopping maybe a foot from her head.

Admittedly, Roxanne did jump, eyes transfixed to the deadly saw as Megamind’s laughter picked up in volume. Then her eyes roved up the arm of the saw and she noticed a key detail.

It was as extended as far as it could get.

Her shoulders slumped with relief and she schooled her features into a look of disappointment, “Oh.”

His laughter cut off, “Oh?”

“Meh,” she shrugged again, doing her best to lean back in her chair as casually as possible.

“Meh?!”

“Well it’s just,” Roxanne nibbled on her lip for a second, then sighed, “last time we met you threatened me with a ray gun you made just for the occasion. This time, you what? Stopped at Home Depot on the way to pick me up?”

“Home Depot?!”

“Actually we got it custom ordered from-,” Minion started to say.

“Don’t tell her where we got it! She doesn’t need to know that!” Megamind cut off Minion before turning a glare on her, “And you! You are in very real danger here.”

“Oh yeah, sure, sure. It’s just… not very special is it,” Roxanne couldn’t quite keep from smirking at him, “I kind of feel like the spark we had when we first met has gone out.”

“Oh I’ll show you sparks!”

“Please do,” she said, in a low silky voice.

Megamind gaped at her, jaw working silently. When it seemed like he might just have figured out what to say to her she threw in a cheeky wink, just to knock him right off balance again.

“So, Minion,” she turned back to the fish, who was looking at her similarly shocked, “Megamind mentioned you like to cook?”

“He-?”

“Well, what he actually said was that you’re a genius in the kitchen,” Roxanne corrected, “how’d you get into cooking?”

“Oh, well I uh…”

“Oh! Oh, I see what she’s doing!” Megamind suddenly declared, he kicked off from the control panel and wheeled over to her, one accusatory finger raised, “She is trying to distract us, buy herself time to be rescued. Very clever Miss Ritchi, but I’m afraid nobody is coming to save you.”

“Really? So you’re not planning to use me as bait? Then what am I even doing here?”

“What? Ugh! No, of course we’re using you as bait, what I meant was, nobody will be suck-yes-fooly saving you,” Megamind rolled his eyes at her.

“Successfully?” she asked, as he kicked himself back over to the control panel.

“That too,” he said, and began flipping switches, “now, let’s call the Golden Boy. We wouldn’t want him to be late for his own defeat, would we?”

“I still say you need some better lighting,” she couldn’t see him with the chair back in the way so she watched him on the screen, “and maybe some eyeliner. You have a great face for this stuff but some of your expressiveness will be lost on the average TV screen.”

He paused in his switch flipping but didn’t look up from the panel.

“I’d lend you my eyeliner but it’s dark brown and you definitely need black,” she regarded the bulbous head on the screen, mind far away to that lecture she’d had about color theory in regards to live action broadcasting, “maybe something metallic if you can find it. And maybe some dark lipstick or piercings or something? You’re a very nice shade of blue and if you’re trying to look scary you’re going to have to add something dark to draw the eye.”

He turned in his chair to scrutinize her for a minute and she tilted her head, scrutinizing him right back.

“Can you grow facial hair?”

“I- yes,” there was something weird about his voice, it wasn’t quite rough, wasn’t quite soft, it was just off somehow.

She nodded thoughtfully, then continued her musing, “Maybe another camera, get multiple angles.”

Roxanne looked at Megamind, then Minion. They just stared at her.

“Something to think about,” she said.

He watched her for one more minute, brow wrinkled and eyes ticking over her face and posture. Then he turned around and pressed a button, a white bulb turned on over the camera. He took a deep breath and started up an evil cackle.

A glance at the screen showed that in his current position she was blocked from the camera’s view. All the better for a dramatic reveal. Roxanne may have been more reporter than writer, but what was a reporter if not a storyteller. She could recognize and admire all the brush strokes that went into this little drama.

It was getting easier by the second to see this whole thing as another day at work.

Minion got her attention and began silently counting down on his fingers, reminding Roxanne that Megamind was already on air. She fixed her posture, and schooled her face into one of calm defiance, waiting for her cue.

“-but wait Metro Mahn, there’s more! If you fail to stop the Saucers of Sadism, you will not only be failing all of Metrocity, but the lovely Roxanne Ritchi,” with that Megamind moved his chair over to reveal her to the audience.

“Roxanne,” Metro Man gasped, on the screen that Megamind had been blocking before. He managed to sound personally dismayed despite the fact that they’d only met once.

At first she wasn’t sure what she would say, but when she found herself live on television the words just came to her, “Hello Metro City, make sure you tune in to KMCP tonight to catch my report of Metro Man’s stunning victory.”

Megamind scowled at her sharply and she smirked back. Take that, Mr. Teach You the Meaning of Fear.

“Oh, I wouldn’t be so confident if I were you, Miss Ritchi,” Megamind purred, “in order to reach you in time Metro Mahn will have to defeat each of my saucers and decipher the clues I’ve etched into the inside of their casing. If he fails the saw spinning above your head will descend, cutting you in half.”

She glanced back up at the fully extended apparatus. Yeah, there was no way that thing could get any closer.

“Don’t panic Roxanne,” Metro Man said, but Roxanne mostly ignored him.

“Uh-huh, I’ll try. You know he has X-Ray vision, right?”

Megamind opened his mouth, holding up one finger, but froze before any sound came out. He frowned deeply, deflating and turning sharply to Minion.

“We uh, we may have forgotten that detail,” Minion admitted to her in a quiet voice.

“Minion,” Megamind made a zipping motion over his lips, then turned back to the controls, “I’m afraid your hero won’t survive my saucers long enough to use his X-Ray vision.”

He flicked a switch and the light next to a placard reading “autopilot” went off at the same time that a light next to a placard reading “manual control” turned on.

“Hm, ok,” she flicked her hair out of her face then said in her best reporter voice, “So, Megamind, would you mind telling the people of Metro City why you went with the theme of saucers this week?”

He shot her a surprisingly deadpan look over his shoulder, “I’m an alien Miss Ritchi, this didn’t really seem like much of a leap.”

“Oh,” she frowned, “but isn’t it true that you have lived in Metro City since infancy?”

“Yeah, so,” he flicked a switch and Metro Man made an exaggerated grunt of effort on the screen. Roxanne may recommend acting classes to him when this was done.

“I suppose I just associate the Megamind ‘brand’ with the punk rock scene more than I do flying saucers,” she pointed out. His fingers paused over the controls and Metro Man made a triumphant sound on the screen. Megamind cursed, too quietly for the camera to pick up.

“Are you trying to distract me, Miss Ritchi?!”

“What?! Me?! No,” she actually had been trying to distract herself, but she would take the easy excuse to keep going that he had so helpfully provided, “would I do a thing like that?”

He growled, “Ah! Cursed Temptress, you’re lucky I don’t gag you.”

Roxanne had to bite her tongue and remind herself this was live to keep the low hanging bondage joke at bay, “Can’t hear me scream if I’m gagged.”

“Can’t hear you scream if you don’t scream,” Megamind grumbled as his hands moved furiously over the controls.

“For those of you watching at home, I feel it should be known that Megamind is controlling (one, two…) six saucers at once,” she told the camera.

“Really?” Metro Man said, briefly breaking character, she would definitely be recommending those acting classes, “This is all you?”

“That’s right, Metro Mahn, you may have the strength of fifty men, but I have the intellect of a hundred,” Megamind bragged, without missing a beat.

“It doesn’t matter how smart you are,” Metro Man slipped back into his heroic persona, “good will always triumph over evil.”

“Unless evil has more money than god, and lawyers sent straight from hell,” Roxanne, who had spent four years reporting on politics, muttered to Minion. He snorted and started nodding in agreement before he apparently remembered himself and went back to standing stalwartly still just behind her chair.

“We should just let them do their thing,” Minion whispered back.

“How long does this usually take?” 

“Once the fight begins? Half hour, tops.”

Roxanne nodded, glancing at Megamind’s back, then the image being shown on screen. She sighed.

“The next time you guys take a hostage you should line the shot up with a mannequin or something beforehand,” she adjusted her posture, “it’s really hard to make this look professional.”

Minion also eyed the screen, nodding thoughtfully, or well, bobbing up and down thoughtfully, “Do you have any other advice? Since you’re used to dealing with cameras?”

She hummed thoughtfully, “If you can find some blue powder foundation that should help with how shiny Megamind is, and if he’s really going for the whole villain thing it may be a good idea for him to empathize how sharp his bone structure is. Would it obstruct your visibility if there was lighting in your dome? You can be kind of hard to see on camera.”

“Not if we do it right.”

“There should be an ‘off stage’ of sorts,” Roxanne continued, looking from the one camera shot to the rest of the lair, “areas the camera doesn’t pick up where you can do anything you don’t want the audience to see. And maybe something to fill the scenery, it’s a bit bare.”

“Ok, so lighting, make up, and shot composition,” Minion frowned, “how’s the sound from the audience side?”

“Hm, not always great,” Roxanne admitted, “I actually didn’t realize how deep his voice is because it always sounds sort of nasally on camera. You should definitely experiment with sound design.”

“Any equipment recommendations?”

“Oh, I don’t know enough about cameras and stuff to help you with that,” she shook her head lightly, “although I could check to see what the station uses and send you the specs-.”

Roxanne froze and sharply reminded herself that she was not at a work conference or something, she had been kidnapped. There would be no spec sending, it’s not like the evil hench fish was going to give her his email.

“Oh, would you? That would be so great! Here, let me just write down my email, I’ll put it in your purse,” Minion said, subtly sneaking over to one side of the room.

Ok, maybe he would.

“Oh, uh thanks,” she said, although he probably didn’t hear her since she was still speaking low enough for the cameras not to pick it up.

“Gah!” Megamind cried, then hissed, “fuck.”

Roxanne leaned around him and saw that three of the saucer controls were now displaying red lights and nothing else, but one of them had an orange light flashing over its section on the control panel.

“What does that orange light mean?” she asked.

“It means that idiot meat head has damaged the spatial controls,” Megamind grunted, turning the remaining two saucers back over to autopilot and focusing his attention on the broken one.

This had just gotten somehow more serious, she realized.

“For those watching at home,” Roxanne addressed the camera, “this means the mechanism that either Megamind or the autopilot would use to control where the saucer is in relation to other objects has been damaged on one of the three remaining saucers and it is now out of control.”

Her eyes roved over the screens that were displaying neither Metro Man nor Megamind. She found the image of the damaged saucer, which was swinging wildly around the sky. On some of the other screens she could see that there were people watching the battle.

“The battle is currently taking place over Metro City park, if you are in the area it is highly recommended that you evacuate immediately,” she continued, hoping at least one of those people would be listening on the accompanying radio broadcast, “the damaged saucer is the one with green and white lights and black spikes. I believe Megamind has just, yes, Megamind has dispatched some Brain Bots to make emergency repairs. According to the control center they should be there in five minutes, I recommend that you do not engage with the bots.”

Megamind’s shoulders seemed tenser than they were before and the image of him on the screen was scowling deeply as his hands concentrated on one set of controls and one set only. He pulled up what looked like a warped grid onto the screen that had previously held Metro Man and Roxanne belatedly realized it was from the saucer’s spatial readings. Shit, were those supposed to be buildings?

She would have sucked air in through her teeth if she wasn’t on live TV, as it was, she schooled her features and kept reporting.

“The Brain Bots are now on site and making the necessary repairs. No, wait, they’re-.”

Before she could say any more Megamind’s arm shot out and he pressed the button from before, the light above the camera turned off. 

“They’re disabling it?” she asked his back, but didn’t receive an answer.

“Sir, you cut the feed?”

He just grunted.

The flashing orange light turned red. 

Megamind fell back into his chair with a loud whoosh of air. If Roxanne didn’t know any better she’d say he was relieved. Actually, the fact that she knew better was why she knew he was relieved.

This really all was just a show, wasn’t it?

“Why?” she asked.

“What’s that?” Megamind asked, voice muffled since he was a bit busy rubbing his hands over his face.

“Why do all this- this-?” Roxanne didn’t even know what to call it. He had been to prison, several times. He was hated by the entire city, he couldn’t walk down the street without people screaming at him. 

And he was the smartest person in the world who almost definitely had a fortune sitting around from various patents.

“Because I’m evil, Miss Ritchi,” he purred, apparently back to playing the villain, playing this character he had thrown his whole life into.

“Are you?” she asked doubtfully.

He frowned and was about to say something, but then a wall burst open and suddenly Metro Man was just there.

Things moved quickly after that, at least, it all seemed like a blur to Roxanne. She watched Metro Man knock Megamind around a little with a dull sort of horror, her blood rushing in her ears. Why? Why was he doing this? She didn’t understand. And then Metro Man used his laser eyes to zap the ropes off her wrists and he picked her up so that she sat on his forearm, leaning against his chest, and in his other hand he grabbed Megamind by the scruff of his shoulder thingy, and he flew them away like that, and Megamind didn’t even point out that he had stopped the saucer from hurting anyone.

It wasn't that Roxanne Ritchi, up and coming investigative reporter, was afraid of the resident super villain. If anybody asked (and they wouldn't) she was actually completely baffled by him. Baffled and a little concerned.

[magnoliamyrrh]

something hysterical abt how im seeing this new trend of blaming online radfems who bitch abt men for the misogyny of boys lmaooooo. common now, youre fucking kidding me. boys arent getting worse because they stumbled across the blog of a woman talking shit abt her opressors. theyre getting worse because theyre watching porn by 8 frequently sharing it among each other and this is leading to younger and younger boys raping girls; like, we have 10 year old boys raping their younger sisters after watching porn. this boy children raping after porn thing is a international phenomenon. they're misogynistic because theyve seen it in adults their whole lives and its been encouraged in them too. theyre sexist because children are smart and like spunges, they absord whatever is around them. they are sexist because theyve been watching sexist af youtubers and personalities and shows and movies and family members. theyre sexist because society has already drilled a sense of superioirty and entitlement into them, and when they come across feminism it doesnt vibe with that. the idea that boys are some sort of uwu innocent beings and the Evil Tumblr Radfems are turning them into sexists is so funny. bro when i was literally in Preschool boys were being sexually perverse, theyd grab at our underwear and clothes and try to break into our bathrooms 24/7, we couldn't even piss without two other girls holding the bathroom door while the rest of us went. they'd try to kiss us without consent. and Adults just thought this shit was funny or unimportant or whatever and let boys be boys and never taugbt them boundaries. by early elementary theyd share porn among themselves and say the grossest fucking things to us and the sexual harassment just got worse; one of the guys in our class was kicked out (after years of harassment) when we were like 10 bc it got so bad.

this was in the early 2000s. no evil radfem internet megamind was making boys wack, they just were because theyre being raised as members of the opressive class. and again, this was 2000s, its only gotten worse. and yup women are allowed to say they hate men online because members of the opressed class are indeed allowed to express emotion, misandry isnt a real damn issue more than racism against white people is and its absolutely pathetic that so many on here thing MiSaNdRy is a real issue because liberal "feminism" is all abt mens uwu hurt feelings and coddeling ur opressors. and you know. why is it that with This we must act like we cant post shit online because hypothetically children will see - but with everything else its fine. like yea i wouldnt talk to a 10 year old boy abt feminism like i would on here but guess what. also wouldnt talk to children about sexual slavery like i do on here. im not gonna stop posting abt either because of that - adults have a responsability when it comes to childrens fandoms and whatever; dont mean we have to censor every damn thing

Oh and also. lets be clear this concept that boys are turning wack because of a few angry online women (who libfems hate anyway because ohh noo how dare you ever be mad or angry at men) is just hysterical because. girls live with the psychological impacts of men and larger society irl hating them and seeing them as less human and molesting them and murdering them and committing a genocide agains them 24/7. and yet. somehow girls dont become insane sexists who want to rape and enslave boys and men nor do they actually do so

[its-to-the-death]

Godddamn this competition has consumed so much of a time over the past week.

Bracket H thoughts:

Both of the first ones were good so I chose "Attack at the Wall" out of personal preference.

Darla had a point, people do love things that are "Big and Loud." The reprise is better with the context of the original.

...I know everyone is gushing in the notes about "I'm the Villain in My Own Story" and "Playing With the Big Boys Now" isn't the best villain song in that movie, but I honestly enjoyed it more? Probably because of a combination of nostalgia and *Megamind voice* PRESENTATION! Also probably doesn't help that I haven't watched Crazy Ex-Girlfriend in forever.

"Marley and Marley" is a darkly awesome bop.

"Molasses to Rum" is such a weirdly cool callout of Northern hypocrisy that I voted for it, but I was really tempted by "When the Chips Are Down" because I do think that one is better musically.

After much deliberation, I voted for "One Step Ahead" because I am a sucker for the homoerotic power of swordfighting and calling someone "old friend". Also the soundtrack version of "Made in America" is better than the live performance because everyone was kind of sick when they did the Black Friday proshoot and it really shows.

The lyrics of "Why We Build The Wall" are so good, damn.

"Descole's theme live version" just sounded better to me, IDK.

Oh my god "Countdown." Dawn's singing. The hidden countdown in the lyrics. "The tick-tock of my flintlock's hangfire." The Western guitar. Vote for "Countdown," PLEASE. Everyone needs to hear Dawn sing right now.

"I Love You (As Much As Someone Like Me Can Love Anyone)" doesn't even seem that evil to me, that's just an aromantic trying to clarify the nature of her relationship with her fuckbuddy (joking). Anyway, try watching the actual Omega Flowey boss fight and tell me "Your Best Nightmare" doesn't deserve the win.

...I love "The Ballad of Sara Berry," but "God-Shattering Star" is one of the few redeeming factors of the rushed clusterfuck that is the final stages of Verdant Wind*. Anyway it's still a really badass song with a badass title.

"Friends in Low Places" is a kickass rock number. Also why are FernGully's villain songs so weirdly horny.

THAT FUCKING PIANO. VOTE FOR "BATTLE! POKEMON WIELDER VOLO."

Ok guys I know we all love PnF but "Evil for Extra Credit" is not as good as Bernadette Peters' villainous yet tragic performance in "Stay With Me."

THE PLATYPUS SONG IS NOT A VILLAIN SONG. HE'S NOT DOING VILLAINY OR SINGING ABOUT VILLAINY. HE'S JUST DJ-ING A PARTY. I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.

The essay in the notes about "Eternity Served Cold" convinced me to vote for it. Join us filthy Homestucks in turning this one around.

*Why does nobody talk about the antisemitic implications of the eeeeevil conspiracy of underground people (who you genocide) that are secretly ruling the world with blood magic+infiltrating society and were responsible for killing Crystal Dragon Jesus. I mean, I know why, but come on guys.

Aaaa I’ve loved hearing your opinions on all these even though that probably took so much time!

[fiera-writes]

Alright, so. I finally rewatched Megamind after meaning to for like two weeks or so, basically ever since the sequel movie came out. And for several reasons, nooot a fan of how the sequel was handled honestly. So, I thought with the original movie fresh in my mind, I could try to brainstorm a couple things I might have done with a sequel.

To start with, the Doom Syndicate. The original movie makes no reference to Megamind knowing any other villains, let alone ever working with them in the past. So, if they were to be included I feel it should be more in a "Oh I've heard of them, they're from that one town a couple states over" way. Acquaintances at best.

But then again, the original movie also seems to imply that if there are any other superheroes or villains, they're pretty dang rare. This isn't The Incredibles where some people are just born with super powers. I mean, no one from out of town came to try and stop Megamind after he "killed" Metro Man. With Titan/Tighten it all happened within a day so less time for outsiders to react, but Megamind had control of the city for a good while there.

So, if we want to keep the Doom Syndicate... it would need to be handled differently. Also get rid of that brain "Mentor" character. I don't really have any ideas for how, except...

Perhaps they're originally fictional in-universe, from a Saturday morning cartoon or a video game or something. One way or another, they're made real and now Megamind has to stop them and probably make them fictional again. Could also be achieved with a different set of villains.

Another way to do a new villain could be Dimensional travel. Say there's some sort of a Bizarro universe, where Metro Man was evil and Megamind was good to start with. Or both were evil and teamed up to do evil. In any case, Alternate Universe Evil Metro Man gets transported to the main universe, causes mayhem. Might even force the Metro Man we know out of retirement temporarily, or not. If he does show up in public, would probably make an excuse of how he's also from some other universe specifically summoned to help out, thus explaining why he's gone again afterwards. Dude just wants to make music.

To add, the dimensional traveling villain doesn't even need to be a version of Metro Man, they could also be anyone else. Some other alien, a dude who fell into acid and got powers from it, idk man.

Hear me out, an Evil Spider-Man of sorts. That is, someone who starts out as a normal human being, perhaps an outcast, and by some twist of fate receives powers, which they proceed to use for evil. Might be re-treading Hal's deal a little but idk what I'm doing anymore.

Evil Bruce Wayne? A rich guy with weird gadgets and the skill to use them, for evil. Would probably be harder to pull off since Megamind's whole deal is how smart he is.

A Mad Scientist type. Megamind is an Evil Scientist, but not a "mad" one, he just builds a death ray powered by the sun because he's that smart. Put him against someone whose ideas make no sense to him but somehow still work.

Misguided hero? Not really a villain but would be an antagonist for the story, someone who's convinced that Megamind's redemption is all an act maybe? Would probably need powers of some sort to be an actual threat.

Alright then, let's move onto something else for a change: MegaRox. My shipper heart needs them either clearly together or clearly working on that. But the original movie does seem to imply they're already together by the time the new museum has opened. I mean, the way she jumped into his arms and then kissed him? Sure it was on the cheek but that wasn't a platonic thing. It's about the context!

No further notes on that, so I present to you... Prequel!

Takes place before Metro Man fakes his death so he can retire, and therefore Megamind is still Evil.

MegaRox wouldn't be an established relationship but did y'all see them at the start of the original? That was practically flirting anyway and that dynamic should be present.

Maybe it could even be early into his villain career? Show how he really got started as a Super Villain, the first kidnappings of Rocanne Ritchi, gaining notoriety, and how Roxanne learned that she's honestly in more danger of getting hit by stray debris from Metro Man's dramatic entrances than from anything Megamind aims at her.

I doubt I'll ever develop any of these ideas into a coherent story but if anyone wants to yoink a thought, go wild. I'm also down for discussing any of these.

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

Well This Looks Pretty Damn Cool!

At long last... NIMONA, visually in motion! And a concrete release date, too. June 30th. Same day as DreamWorks' RUBY GILLMAN, TEENAGE KRAKEN, which will be rolling in theaters. I wish we could this very gorgeous and dynamic-looking picture on the big screen too, but... Oh well...

Anyways, not much for me to say other than it looks every bit as cool as I imagined. Another CG-but-painted-looking movie, with some very smooth work and such a cool look. It looks way more like a classic 2D animated picture, or a really painterly indie game.

Arriving now, this picture was about 3/4 done in animation before the studio it originated from, Blue Sky Studios, was shut down by The Walt Disney Company's former CEO. I'd like to think a lot of what we're seeing here was laid down in 2020/early 2021, so in a way, it was doing some neat stuff before other neat stuff came out. Namely THE MITCHELLS VS. THE MACHINES, ARCANE: LEAGUE OF LEGENDS, and PUSS IN BOOTS: THE LAST WISH. The picture was in the works for a while, too, under FEAST director Patrick Osborne at first (later taken over by Nick Bruno and Troy Quane, of SPIES IN DISGUISE), and I'd assume it was always aiming for this kind of look, pre-SPIDER-VERSE even.

It's also refreshing to see a big-time animated movie with more of a, shall I say... Mischievous bent to it? Not quite moral protagonist, for starters, and that's on full display here in the trailer... if the first-look images released in the lead-up to this trailer's release didn't already spell it out for you. That smile of hers just got more and more (delightfully) devilish with each new image. That's good, we need more variety in PG-level stories. Nothing wrong with protagonists who are a little bit on the bad side. Worked okay enough for DESPICABLE ME and MEGAMIND. From the graphic novel synopsis, it seems like it's going to be a very subversive take on good and evil, if the law is actually right or not (very timely, I'd say), etc. Maybe our leads aren't so bad after all, I've got some reading to do!

I still consider this to be a Blue Sky movie, their final film - partially... A bittersweet coda to their long existence. The movie was 75% done before the plug was pulled, and reports have said that the crew did NOT start from scratch after production resumed... and I'd imagine a lot of what was finished was kept in the movie despite some things I've heard it about being significantly retooled after Annapurna and Netflix picked it up. I'd imagine there were some things the directors and writing team could get away with there that they couldn't under Disney. There were reports from former Blue Sky crew members that Disney higher ups did push back on things in the movie. Keep in mind, Disney was going to release Pixar's LIGHTYEAR without the lesbian kiss - a barely second-long scene, until they faced pressure due to the former CEO's initial support of that wet-sandwich Florida governor's draconian anti-LGBTQIA+ nonsense. STRANGE WORLD, as we all know, was straight up dumped with very muted fanfare. NIMONA's poster curiously lists Robert L. Baird and Lloyd Taylor as the writers. Years prior, the movie was being written by Marc Haimes, a writer on Shannon Tindle's meditative Laika wonder KUBO & THE TWO STRINGS. (Just so you know, that picture was largely taken away from him.) Haimes is credited as "Story by", including a curiously large amount of people including the two screenwriters and the two directors, in addition to two other people: Pamela Ribon and Keith Bunin... That's... Quite a lot of writers on this one.

Either way, I'm excited nonetheless. Forward-thinking visuals, LGBTQIA+ representation, a seemingly new kind of story for this animated feature format, something a little edgier... Might just be "the one that got away" from Disney, may even cost them their usual Oscar win come this winter. I will consider this film to be Blue Sky's swan song, I hope they get some kind of mention in the credits...

Speaking of Disney... Not cool that they're flat-out removing movies and shows from Disney+, amidst a writer's strike, and some with LGBTQIA+ themes and content... Right before Pride Month. I don't understand why removing something they made and/or own from a service, and having it not be available anywhere else, helps anybody. Them, or the market... At the very least, they can put some of these movies, such as the Howard Ashman documentary HOWARD, on physical media. Nasty side effects of what David Zaslav did to Warner Bros.' library and all the content purges happening under his leadership there. Capitalism, how you don't make any sense...

Somewhere buried in all the Cannes Film Festival news is the selling of an animated feature called THE GROWCODILE, a little romp about a young girl hiding her ever-growing pet croc from her shoe store-owning father, and the adventure she goes on with her grandfather to give the animal a new home. It's based on a book, and will be directed by Cartoon Saloon veterans Joost Van Den Bosch and Erik Verkerk.

What else? Awkwafina has been cast in KUNG FU PANDA 4... Apparently. I'm not sure how reputable "The Hollywood Handle" is, a site I've barely ever heard of... but if she's onboard, I wonder who she will be voicing. She was, after all, in DreamWorks' own THE BAD GUYS as Ms. Tarantula. The villainous Chameleon is said to be a female character, so I wouldn't be surprised if she plays the main antagonist in this. From bad guy to really bad guy.

That's pretty much all the big animation news I can think of, but... Yeah... NIMONA, finally around the corner, and we finally get to see how it actually moves and plays out...

[mayasaura]

Consider: Megamind AU with Heir!Gideon

When they were children (so old enough to remember each other) Glaurica cracked and blabbed about the Crêche Flu to her kin on the 8th. Jod pardoned most of the Ninth, barring the Father, Mother and Great-Aunts, but resettles its inhabitants. Meanwhile, in this process Gideon was discovered - in fact, let's say she stowed along to Harrow's audience with the emperor to argue for shutting the Ninth down completely - and became Kiriona Gaia.

Harrow was raised by an even more embittered Crux (who will serve as our Minion). They are outcasts on their new planet and target the majority of their ire at Kiriona, the Empire's darling.

No thoughts on who everyone else would be. Tbh this all sprung from rewatching Megamind with my tlt brainrot in full swing and going hm...legitimately powerful yet pathetic little goth with flair for the dramatic who never really wanted to destroy their rival...curious

Oh my god. No, this is greatest part: the versatility of this AU. They're both dramatic little goth shits who never really wanted to destroy their rival. No one ever paid enough attention to either of them for them to learn the difference between positive and negative kinds of attention. They both saw themselves as 'evil' or 'outcast' and decided to embrace it with both hands.

Like, we have to change almost nothing for Gideon to be Megamind. She doesn't look Ninth, she doesn't act Ninth, and she makes Not Being Ninth and having dramatic flashy clashes with the beloved superhero of the Ninth pretty much a core tenant of her personality. If you could get any closer to "Child raised in a prison cell for no fucking reason" than Gideon Nav, I'd love to see it. Then she gets away from the Ninth and finds out that most of what she was going for she doesn't actually want, because it was all about the chase. It was all about Harrow. Without Harrow to prove wrong, none of her schemes or goals or achievements actually fucking matter.

But I love this Glaurica Blabs AU. Gideon is discovered at the age of about ten, and John disbands the Ninth House for baby killing crimes. I think he keeps the Reverend Daughter fairly close, because he wants to see what becomes of this powerful creation powered by the souls of dead babies. He's fascinated. But everyone kind of knows that the Ninth massacred their own children now, so Harrow is a persona non grata. She still has her loyal retainer, who hates everyone but her, but aside from that she's pretty much isolated. Her sole purpose in life becomes making sure being a godling doesn't go to the newly re-named Kiriona's head.

This is where it gets really Megamind, imo. Because like Metroman, Kiriona really has nothing against Harrow anymore except that Harrow keeps breaking her stuff and attacking her with skeletons. Her problems are mostly about being a Prince now and how everyone has Expectations of her when she's really just a lonely awkward girl with a sword. Fighting Harrow is a welcome normal distraction from all the new problems in her life now that she's, like, important.

Anyway, Dulcie is Roxy, with a keen investment in the drama and a zeal for digging in and getting to the truth of matters. There is no Hal because that part of the plot literally does not work in this scenario, but also Ianthe is Hal. Dulcie and Gideon aren't involved, but Harrow thinks they are and she's jealous. Ianthe is into Harrow, not Dulcie. Dulcie is into no one, but if she were into anyone she has some complete nerds in a turtleneck and glasses to go on picnics with. Yes, Cam and Pal are Bernard But Real.

So the plot is, Gideon cracks under the pressure and runs away, leaving Harrow under the impression she successfully drove her off, and the instant regret sets in. Obviously, because this rivalry is gay and obsessive in addition to being a substitute for the love neither of them had in their childhoods, Harrow can't just grow a new Prince to butt heads with. This doesn't stop Ianthe from briefly trying to fill the void. Harrow goes to shake down Dulcie to find out where Gideon went, and ends up on a rollicking adventure to retrieve a wayward Prince who does not want to be a Prince anymore, thank you.

[sushigal007]

Ugh, sorry this took so long, I wrote half of this and then Tumblr ate it. So! Over to the Ramaswami’s, where Priya is demonstrating why Tumblr needs a NSFW toggle.

Don’t ask where she’s hiding that mobile phone.

Secret Sue: Just so you know, we do have a dress code, and that dress code is clothes.

Anyway, here’s Rani! Probably.

Adequate parenting? In MY game?

Well... sometimes.

Clyde: This, by the way, is why I end up becoming the evil twin.

And here’s Sanjay, thrilled about snow. Sanjay: It’s so cool! Getting the dad jokes in early, I see.

Matthew: Please invite me in before my chain mail rusts.

Competent Nanny - The Legend Continues!

Matthew: But can she powder this ass!?

Marissa: Eggs though?

Sanjay: I could sleep. So do it, I’m not stopping you.

Sanjay: You’re sure as shit not helping me.

That’s not a bed.

That’s also... hmm... Sanjay and Priya:

Oh, OK, seems I can’t interact with the bed, oops! I’ll just do a lil force error aaaaand...

Success!

Nanny: How do you suck so badly at this, Matt?

Ballet!

Hi Lazlo! Lazlo: HACK HACK COUGH COUGH. Bye Lazlo!

Priya: I mean, the great thing about a Victoria Sponge is that it uses basic ingredients and doesn’t cost much. Who wants to waste £40 and a whole day whipping up a mad trifle though?

Clyde grows up! He’s a fancy little guy!

And it’s straight on the pot.

Rani next!

Priya: I AM NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME!

Nothing a little TV time with Mary-Sue can’t fix.

Or, y’know, that works too.

So nice to see that parenthood hasn’t affected their love life.

Even though it’s trying really hard.

Baby goes on floor?

Baby goes on floor.

Sanjay: Can you not flush the toilet when I’m showering!? Priya: Maybe you should not shower when I’m using the toilet?

Nanny: Who needs outerwear when there’s men this hot out?

Toddler training!

Toddler trained!

Is there some reason you decided to grill sausages in the snow? Sanjay: It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Nanny: Peek a boo!

And then more toddler training.

Clyde: That’s right, give me the good shit.

Speaking of... Sanjay: You disgust me.

Priya: Wanna take a break from childcare and make out? Sanjay: Absolutely!

Sanjay: *motorboats*

Then back to childcare.

Decided it was about time I gave the nanny a nice, comfy makeover. Carmen: Maybe next you can try remembering my name. I’ll give it a go!

Well that was a fucking waste of time, wasn’t it.

Oh, in case you were wondering, Clyde really wasn’t joking about being the evil twin.

Jesus Christ, Clyde.

He does have his adorable moments though. Clyde: GET DOWN HERE SO I CAN EAT YOU.

Townie: Ugliest man alive. Sanjay: I don’t have to take this from a townie with glitch-tone hair.

Today I learned Sims can hold toddlers while they learn charisma!

More of this.

Priya: Ew, disgusting. Time to clean.

Once again, that was a fucking waste of time, wasn’t it.

Clyde: Bitch.

Priya: Nope nope nope I already cleaned that toilet twice.

Clyde: You were done with that, right? Rani: No!

Clyde: Wow, that’s too bad, ‘cause it’s mine now.

Rani: BETRAYAL!

Sanjay: Damn, did she throw up in here too? Quite possibly.

But before we have to deal with any new babies, let’s deal with the old ones.

First to grow up is Clyde. Clyde: I wish Matthew was my dad.

Nope.

Natasha: But is it art?

And then it’s Rani’s turn.

I’m just... going to ignore that. They’re getting new clothes anyway.

Sanjay: Hey, cutie.

Heather: True love. You’re at his kid’s birthday- Heather: TRUE. LOVE.

Anyway, here’s Clyde with clothes. For some reason, he looks permanently exhausted. Clyde: Evil is a full time job. Yeah OK shut up, Megamind.

And here’s Rani. She also looks knackered. Rani: It’s hard work being the good one.

Clyde: *torment*torment*torment* Rani: For example, I have to put up with this bullshit.

There’s always time for ponies though.

This would be a cute family picture if half of these people weren’t random gatecrashing strangers.

Pop!

So now Priya’s showing, I let her relax at home while Sanjay took the twins to the park.

Clyde: I’m in space, maaaan!

Rani: Tee hee.

And then Sanjay abandons his children to go gambling. Sanjay: Hey, could be worse, this could be that strip poker table you have. True!

The twins rolled a want for playground equipment and now Rani lives there.

Ah, now this is a nice family bonding picture.

And I couldn’t not post a nice, family dinner, could I?

Another pop!

But for now we’ll leave Priya and Sanjay literally necking. Sanjay: Honestly, I have zero complaints about the height mod, I’m exactly where I want to be.

Uberhood Index

[outismm]

FUCK ONLY PART 2 & 3 SENT!! Anyways part 1 was me just saying that the “there he is mr evil overlord” part in megamind made me think of a Willie/robotus megamind au where Ro gets out and takes over as president and he’s evil and Willie, who knows him from his basement tube days and was also his friend (and maybe more??👀) is just like “this is really disappointing I thought you weren’t like that but I guess not” and then Ro learns to be good because of his love for Willie. THERE!! Now all 3 parts have been sent.

AAA MY GOD IM GOING TO ACTUALLY BLAST OFF INTO THE STRATOSPHERE. GONNA BE ORBITING THE EARTH IN A LITTLE BALL OF <33333333333.

hiding all my thoughts away under a tab. not a soul look at me I am going to be so immensely Clownish and Whimsical

KAYA IM LITERALLY SO SOFT FOR ALL OF THIS I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. IM.

You already know im absolutely Diseased for 'AB succeeds in becoming the President but INSERTING WILLIE IN THERE? INSERTING MY MAIN MAN?? This was Designed to be stapled to my brain for the next month.

and that little. the.

'Willie helping to break out AB only to be heartbroken when AB decides to be Evil (tm)' IM CHEWING THAT LIKE A MILKBONE.

AB doing little acts of kindness bc he's like Oh Shit I Fucked Up. that little bit about him helping to fix a park or some other little act of kindness bc. he wants to improve as a person for Willie. And also himself. gkrkgrg him improving with the initial goal of fixing things w/ Willie only to realize that being a good person. actually feels kinda nice.

AND THE LITTLE BIT ABOUT THE DISGUISE?? Of AB worrying that Willie won't want to be seen with him because he's,, Evil and Willie is very much Not.

TLDR I am so. I am holding Barbies of these two bastards and making them kiss. Every day you test my will to not write selfship fic about these two.

[true-blue-megamind]

FAN THEORY THURSDAY – Megamind’s Anatomy

Yes, yes, I know… You’re probably getting tired of hearing me say it, but here it is anyway: SPOILER WARNING!

It’s not secret that Megamind is physically different from humans.  Anyone who has ever seen the film—or merely seen an imagine of the title character—knows that obvious fact.  There have, however, been a great many intriguing discussions within the fandom about exactly how different he is, and about possible biological reasons for those differences.  Luckily for all of us, this has led to a plethora of interesting theories; so many, in fact, that I will only be able to touch upon a few of the most popular ones here.  Even then, this post will likely be long enough that, benevolent soul that I am, I’ll have mercy upon my readers and adopt a slightly different format, including sub-headers for easier perusal. After all, despite its expansiveness, this promises to be a deeply fascinating subject.

A quick note before we dive into this post: I will not be discussing Megamind’s strength as I already wrote about that in another blog article, How Strong is Megamind, nor will I be going much into courtship instincts, and that was covered in Why Kidnap Roxanne.  If I may say so, both posts are well worth reading, so please feel free to check them out.  Now, without further ado, let’s get started.

Megamind is Semi-Aquatic

Oh, yes, when I said we would “dive in,” I really meant it.  A large portion of the Megamind fandom seems to have agreed that our favorite alien is just as comfortable in water as on land.  In fact, one very popular theory suggests that he may even have gills, and that his awareness of how different this makes him may be part of the reason he keeps his body covered from the chin down.  As odd as that concept may sound to some, it’s not nearly as far fetched as it may appear. There’s actually some evidence to support it.

Firstly, near the beginning of the film, as infant Megamind’s escape pod is leaving his doomed solar system, we see that his planet is blue. Some fans have suggested that this could indicate it is largely covered by water.  Secondly, there is the fact that his mother and father chose a fish to be his caretaker.  There is some discussion in the fandom about whether Minion hails from a sentient and intelligent species that had a symbiotic relationship with Megamind’s people, or whether he was genetically and biotechnologically modified for his job as surrogate parent.  Either way, a fully-aquatic being would seem an illogical choice of babysitter if Megamind’s parents expected them to live largely on land, and we know that, given the spaceship they hurriedly constructed for their son and their offspring’s incredible intellect, they must have been highly intelligent.  That makes it seem likely that Megamind’s parents must have expected him to spend significant time in water, which indicates that they must have been accustomed to living that way themselves.  After all, we all tend to base our decisions on what we perceive as normal.

Some have also pointed to one of Minion’s lines near the beginning of the film, when he states that he has kept the Lair “cold and damp” for his boss.  Of course, this was likely simply a joke drawing on evil stereotypes, but we are the Megamind fandom; we are creative and intelligent enough to turn any small detail into a half-credible theory.  In this case, that specific theory involves Megamind’s semi-aquatic nature meaning his skin (or the supposed gills) can hurt or even crack if allowed to become too hot and dry for too long.  Hence why he would need a cool, damp environment.  Fans have even suggested that the undersuit we see him donning the Black Mamba uniform over may be designed, among other things, to hold moisture close to his skin.  This could also explain why Megamind’s Lair is located on an inlet of Lake Michigan, as can be seen in the film.  Perhaps he and Minion enjoy an occasional dip in the cold depths.

Finally, Megamind’s body also seems well adapted for water.  Indeed, the blue man seems especially well-suited for a semi-aquatic lifestyle.  The bald heads of both males and females of his species mean there would be no hair to create drag underwater.  The former villain’s lithe, slim frame and sleek musculature would likely help him move quickly and agilely beneath the waves.  (It is, after all, called a swimmers’ build for a reason.)  Some fans have suggested that, while Megamind’s brain is certainly much bigger than a human’s, his large skull may also contain an air sac, similar to that of dolphins and other Cetaceans, which is used, among other things, to control buoyancy.  Then there is the blue skin tones of Megamind’s people to consider. It’s a color that naturally stands out on land—hardly an evolutionary advantage—but it might make sense if they spent a lot of time in water.  Aquatic animals often tend to have blue, gray, and green colorations.

Megamind’s Skin Tone is More Realistic Than You Think

Megamind’s possible semi-aquatic nature may not be the only reason for the color of his skin.  While, in popular culture, we usually think of extraterrestrials as “little green men,” the creators of the film chose to make Megamind blue instead. That’s certainly not something you see every day, but there may actually be good reason for it.  In fact, it’s not as strange as many may believe.  In fact, there are real people who actually have blue skin—a condition called cyanosis—and one fan theory states that Megamind’s complexion occurs for reasons similar to those of blue skin in humans.

Perhaps the most common (if I may call it that) cause of cyanosis is Methemoglobinemia, which results from hemoglobins in the blood transferring oxygen differently or less effectively.  This can be caused by medical conditions, but it can also be the result of genetics, specifically the met-H gene, which itself is the result of an enzyme deficiency paired with lower iron levels in the blood.

The best known example of this among humans is the Fugate family of Troublesome Creek, Kentucky, better known as the Blue Fugates, who came to the medical world’s attention in the mid-twentieth century. Until treatments using an (ironically named) substance called methylene blue became available to the secluded clan, many of their children were born with varying shades of blue skin tones.  Thanks in part to the aforementioned medical help, there are no longer any known descendants of the Blue Fugates with cyanosis.

Such cases of Congenital Methemoglobinemia often lack most of the far more negative side effects seen in Acquired Methemoglobinemia, such as dizziness and shortness of breath, so that, even before treatment was available, persons who inherited the met-H gene (and resulting methemoglobinemia) were usually able to lead full and active lives.  (Many of the Blue Fugates were reported to be extremely healthy, with some living into their nineties.)

All of this means two things for our favorite blue hero: firstly, given that Megamind was born on another planet, it is quite possible that his people were adapted to a different atmosphere.  According to one fan theory, this evolution involved a form of Congenital Methemoglobinemia that, somehow, allowed them to make the best use of the air on their home world as well as making their skin blue. Secondly, Megamind, like the Blue Fugates, would be able to live a full and healthy life on Earth despite differences in the was his blood transferred oxygen.

On an interesting side note, before we move on, some of the first relatives of the Blue Fugates to try methylene blue treatment in the early 1960’s were a couple named Rachel and Patrick Ritchie.  I can’t wait to see what fan theories spring up out of that one.

Megamind Has Different Dietary Needs

Alright, yes, I know, this is probably a pretty obvious statement where a character who is literally a space alien is involved, but discussions on the subject have spawned some truly fascinating suppositions.  The first and most popular is that Megamind craves a lot of sugar.  This is supported by the movie as, aside from his sipping a little champagne, the only foods we see associated with Megamind are sweets: doughnuts and churros.  One fan theory has built upon this, saying that this is not only due to the blue man’s high energy levels—think about the way he leaps and dashes around—but also to his large and highly-functioning brain.  It makes sense; according to NeuroTray, brains need a certain amount of glucose to fuel them, help produce amino acids, and even maintain neuronal health.  So it seems logical that an alien super-genius with a much larger and more active brain might need more sugar.

Further expanding on this idea, fans have theorized that Megamind’s dietary requirements also include other “brain foods” such as: carbohydrate-rich grains, fish, nuts, and eggs.  The eggs have developed a special significance thanks to one supposition that began as a sort of joke of the Megamind fan Discord known as The Evil Lair, and is quickly growing into a popular theory.  Megamind, according to many fans, not only craves eggs, but raw eggs, which he consumes shell and all.  Although this was, as I’ve said, started as a lark, the idea actually has some validity.  Raw eggs not only contain a lot of nutrients, including energy-increasing B12, but also aid in breaking down and digesting large amounts of carbohydrates.  Egg shells, meanwhile, are an excellent source of many other essential vitamins and minerals.

Art: Midnight Snack by Ejga-Ostja.  I absolutely love this image, and had to use it here!  Please check out the rest of their amazing Megamind fanart!

Megamind’s Neck is Extremely Sensitive

This will be a short section, I promise.  I touched on this particular concept before in the post Why Kidnap Roxanne.  Of course, we all know Megamind wears large, high collars, but there may be more reason for this than a desire for a suitably villainous look.  When he is incarcerated, the blue man pops up the collar of his prison uniform, and, at the beginning of the movie, we see that his parents also wear high collars.  Even Megamind’s briefly-worn white hero uniform in The Button of Doom covers his everything from the head down except for a small opening at the front of his throat.  It’s almost as if, for Megamind’s people, showing one’s neck in public is indecent.

A popular fan theory explains this by suggesting that Megamind’s neck is very sensitive; so much so, in fact, that it is an erogenous zone. If merely touching the blue alien there is enough to cause arousal and pleasure, then his species’ apparently universal instinct to keep that part of the body covered makes sense.  Showing it would be akin to a woman walking around topless.  It’s also quite possible that the neck is also hidden for protection, as extreme sensitivity would mean it could be easily hurt.  This casts Megamind’s large collars in an entirely different light: he is wearing clothing that draws the eye both to his large head (and the impressive brain within it) and to a pleasure point on his body.  Many fans suppose that this could be a form of “peacocking,” and is part of an instinctual courtship display meant to attract Roxanne.  Again, for more about that theory, you can read the aforementioned post.

I could, of course, go on and on.  There are numerous other theories concerning Megamind’s anatomy, ranging from reflective eyes for low-light vision to alien vocal cords that allow a wider range of sounds and tone, but I will stop here for now.  If you’ve enjoyed this particular post, however, and would like to read another on the same subject, please let me know.  In the meantime, I’ll close by saying that the amazing physical attributes already discussed hint, as always, that far more thought and care may have been put into Megamind’s creation than most people realize.  It’s no wonder this movie and its protagonist have so many dedicated fans.

[scamoosh]

oh PLEASE tell me about the persona 5 megamind au

everyone who sends me asks abt the nonsense i post abt ....... i have feelings 4 u

OKAY SO its a bit unorganized bc i never rlly sat down and worked out the details, its mostly just 4 fun bc i like the movie and i thought itd b funny LOL

-obviously goro akechi is megamind.,,, tho instead of being blue he is just goro akechi (maybe w loki's horns or smth to make him look more alien) and when hes disguised as 'bernard' he just looks like his disguise from the jazz club where u ruffle up his hair n put glasses on him LOL. also he still uses the name bernard bc i think thats funny

-akira is roxanne :3c ambitious reporter who v much enjoys the banter between them every time he gets kidnapped hehe and is sooo enamored w bernard bc hes the only other person who seems so invested in the cruel detective prince despite his Villainous Tendencies

-ryuji is hal (ryuji baby im so sorry) but not in like a 'nice guy' kinda way just in that hes the lazy bro whos always hangin around akira.,, but i love ryuji so rather than going mad w power after getting rejected like some kind of dweeb its more of a persona 4 situation where his concern for akiras safety and his jealousy of he and goros (or bernards as far he knows) relationship - it all combines and his shadow self takes over, so instead of being consciously a douche he is just consumed by forces beyond his control 😔😔 and obv snaps out of it after they beat his ass LOL

-souji is metro man lmaoo i think it fits that hed b like a role model n an inspiration to the p5 characters but also opt out of the fighting b4 it can consume him and become his entire life bc soujis character already struggles w feeling like hes living his entire life for other ppl and not for himself :/

-im not entirely sure abt minion.,, i feel like sumire fits better but i didnt play royal n havent watched the entire playthrough so idk her that well ..,, so in my heart minion is ann <33 i rlly like the hc that goro and ann are friends Anyway n i feel like the petty catty megamind/minion dynamic suits them well hehehe

so basically the gist of it is that akira is repeatedly kidnapped by Villainous Detective Prince Goro Akechi and rescued every time by local hunk and hero souji seta, who fakes his own death to get out of the public eye. in the aftermath of that akechi takes over the city but quickly grows bored w the lack of challenge.,, he and his assistant ann decide that ryuji (while kind of boneheaded) has potential to b strong and should b crafted into his New Rival !! but that backfires, as trying to motivate him through the promise of earning akiras interest only drives his jealousy to the point of being all consuming (this is when his shadow self takes the reigns).

akechi accidentally bumps into akira just like in the movie where he panics and disguises himself ( tho i think rather than freezedrying some poor dude its a magic thing idk bc i think its funny if that why his disguise sucks so hard its just bc he was flustered and in a hurry not to b caught so all he could manage was no horns messier hair big glasses) and akira talks 2 him abt how awful it is that soujis gone and that he never even Disliked akechi in fact hed grown rather fond of him after all their flirty rapport and bernard (akechi) has 2 b like mmhmm yeah that guy sucks. and hes caught between sounding indignant bc his pride is wounded and sounding all too genuine in talking abt how much he hates goro akechi LOL😖

ummm they get closer over time trying 2 pinpoint where akechis Evil Lair might be and then they 100% still have that sad restaurant scene where akechis disguise gets all fucked up (i like to think its bc he got so flustered by being kissed that his brain short circuited and the spell dropped for a sec) and akira does the whole 'wtf why did you lie to me why did u string me along was this all to humiliate me?? or worse was this all genuine to you? did u ever think i could love someone like you??' and walks home in the rain especially sad bc hed confessed that hed had feelings for akechi prior to soujis death so now it just feels like its being thrown back in his face Twice smh

akira still gets snatched up by shadow ryuji and cant do anything abt it but not bc its helpless its bc he doesnt wanna hurt his best friend ): he knows thats not him!!! but tldr goro shows up and ryuji gets bonked around bc akira comes 2 goros aid just 2 subdue him not 2 actually injure him! and then he comes back 2 himself and is so sorry and its ok they r besties again :) and goro and akira kiss on the mouth maybe

[fictioncoalition]

How To Human: 101 Chapter 1/2

Megamind hated Thursdays. Any day of the week was a fair contender for loathing from the evil genius but Thursdays had significantly moved up in the ranks due to Ms. Ritc- er Roxanne's latest scheme. It had officially been a year since Megamind was dubbed Metrocity's new hero, and how could he forget when the celebration for the event left him with an awful headache for the past week. Roxanne and his relationship had also reached a new milestone, opening up about childhood traumas. You know, as you do. When Roxanne heard about how Megamind had never had any real schooling due to the discrimination of his truly diabolical elementary teacher, she got a wicked gleam in her eyes. Megamind usually loved wickedness of any sort but when it pertained to shoo- damn it, school he absolutely despised it. 

Today’s schedule included another grueling lesson that he was trying his best to avoid. The flavor of today’s procrastination was to walk around the outskirts of town under the guise of “patrolling for crime”. Ugh, listen to him, he was beginning to sound like Wayne. Actually, that would be a great cover story! This patrol thing had already been getting a little flimsy, what better way to avoid Roxanne’s wrath with, but he could tell she still had a soft spot for Metrocity’s former hero. Making a sharp turn, he started toward the old schoolhouse (hey, he said it right that time!) where the other alien created his lair.

Wayne had been making some pretty good strides in his music career. Roxie- sorry, Roxanne had set him up with a music account where he could post his new songs and had even been acting as his social media manager. He didn't trust himself around smartphones, the screens were so fragile and the tech so expensive. Thankfully Roxanne was sweet enough to offer to take care of the more tech heavy side of things. He was glad that she eventually accepted his many, many, many apologies and they became friends, true friends, over the past year. He was actually getting ready to start playing the new song he’d written when he heard the door open. Megamind startled when he appeared as soon as he poked his blue head inside, but only a little. Wayne burst out into a huge smile and raised his arms above his head, “Little buddy! What brings you all the way out here?”

Even without superspeed, Megamind was very good at avoiding physical contact and ducked out of the attempted bear hug Wayne had tried to impose upon him. Dusting himself off, Megamind couldn’t help but give a small smile and pat on the shoulder to the friendly giant, he didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

“I wanted to come see you, of course! Ask about your music, see what you’ve done with the place, you know.” God, Megamind was bad at lying when it really mattered. He cringed at how his voice rose in octave as the sentence progressed. 

Wayne raised an eyebrow but figured whatever it was Megamind was running from, he wasn’t about to ask.

“Oh glad you asked, I was actually just about to do a test run through of this new song I-” Wayne stopped short, he’d almost forgotten just what the song he’d written was about.

“Oh, is it not finished yet? You can just say that you know, I’m not one to pry into others lives if they don't want me to. Prison teaches you a lot about the value of privacy.” Megamind said quickly to cover up the strange tension that had permeated the room.

“Ah, no no that’s not it, it's just,” Wayne scratched the back of his head, “It’s finished I just haven’t played it all at once yet. Usually no one else is here when I get the rough first passes done and the idea of...someone else being here is awkward.”

“That’s perfectly fine then, don’t worry about me,” Megamind said, waving his blue palms in dismissal of the very thought, “Since we’re being honest, I wasn’t here to listen to your music anyway.”

“Really! I never would have guessed,” Wayne said, rolling his eyes

“I just needed to procrastinate going back home for just a little while longer,” Megamind said, shuffling his feet on the well polished floor.

Okay, that was a bit strange. Megamind usually couldn’t stop raving about his life with Roxanne. How he could take her out on dates without the disguise watch, the way her eyes lit up when she talked about a story she was passionate about, them moving in together. Hell, half the time he came over just to rave about how amazing she was because he didn’t really have anyone else who he could brag to. What could Roxanne have done to make this alien who was absolutely head-over-heels in love dread going back home? Did Wayne have to fight one of his only friends? Verbally of course, but still, he hated conflict.

“And why exactly is going home an issue, Blue?”

Megamind paused his stimming at the use of the strangely informal name. Sure he called Wayne his name all the time but that’s because he asked him to. He wasn’t aware the casual terminology was transactional. Filing away the updated relationship to ruminate on later, Megamind took a deep breath.

“Before I say anything, promise not to make fun of me. Or pity me! God, I don't know which decision I hate more,” he grimaced

“I’ll...try my best,” Wayne replied, knowing that pity and sympathy were considered the same thing to the blue alien

“Roxanne had come up with the idea of teaching me everything she knows about English grammar,” Megamind said, enunciating the word as gram (like the measurement) and mar (like to ruin something), “I know she means well and it would certainly help my credibility as a hero to not be constantly mispronooncing things but-” he stopped as his voice cracked

Wayne tried his absolute best to respect Blue’s space but the little guy was obviously in that dangerous zone where he was trying so hard not to cry words just wouldn’t come out. Weighing his options and trying not to overstep his boundaries, Wayne stepped forward as slowly as he could (which was still pretty fast) and outstretched his arms again. He was lucky the smaller alien didn’t need him to emote the way other people did, no need for the cheesy smile he’d perfected over the years. Just his face, in its default blank state, was enough for the carefully constructed wall Blue had spent years making to come crumbling down. Come on, bud. There’s no need to put on a brave face here, not while I’m here. Wayne took the crying as a sign to move in, still being as slow and gentle as possible. Blue still tried to struggle a little to regain his composure, trying to wriggle out of Wayne’s grasp.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright. No one’s going to hurt you for crying, Blue. Calm down, it's just me,” Wayne kept his grip loose enough for Blue to slip out but still firm to ground him.

At those disarmingly kind words, Megamind (for the moniker was the only thing keeping him together at this point) broke down in a way he hadn’t since he was a child. He was completely disassociated from anything in the room and barely noticed as he slid down to the floor, Wayne following all the while. The crying went on for a while. Whatever it was Blue was so upset about, it was obviously something that had been brewing for a while. Wayne started to slowly rock the two of them back and forth because that’s what calmed him down when he was on the verge of a meltdown. It obviously helped and the sobs turned into sniffles fairly quickly afterwards.

“Are you ready to talk about it?” Wayne asked gently, not wanting to startle the blue figure who was curled around him.

“I just,” Megamind swallowed “I just don’t want her to think I’m dumb. My only experience with being taught was, well you know what it was, and our teacher hated me. It was the first time I had really truly been despised by an adult and it really fucked me up.”

Trying not to react to the crude word (Wayne hated cursing), Wayne squeezed Blue a little and hummed at him to continue.

“Roxanne is the smartest person I know and she’s so gentle with me when she can see I’m getting frustrated at not getting it right away but even with all of her kindness,” A small sob escapes him, “I’m still afraid she'll write me off as a lost cause and give up on me.”

At this admission, Megamind buries his head into Wayne's chest, stimming with the belt on his robe. Wayne shifts their position on the floor a little, “Are you done? Because I want to tell you what I think, if you’ll let me.” Wayne says. Megamind nods his head the smallest bit.

“Okay, so you and I agree on one thing, Roxanne is the smartest person in this whole city. Possibly the whole world. Which means that she wouldn’t do something that wouldn’t make any sense to do right?”

At this Blue opens his mouth to object but Wayne cuts him off.

“Ah ah, it’s my turn to talk, remember? Social conversations 101, buddy,” Wayne says, smiling a little. 

The two of them had actually met up again after grade school at occupational therapy, it was the strangest coincidence. That line was verbatim from their OT, Mr. Peterson, who helped them both figure out how to get through a conversation without constantly interrupting people which was a great challenge for them both. Wayne’s superspeed made him want to talk a million miles a minute and Blue would cut others off when he could figure out what the other person was about to say and answer before they could finish. Their years of back and forth quips helped them greatly with pacing and allegory. Mr. Peterson would be proud at how far they’ve come.

Chuckling a little, Megamind ceded, “Right, sorry. Continue.”

“So I’m guessing Roxanne’s desire to teach you these things didn’t come out of nowhere, meaning you told her about what happened during school. So she knows about your academic trauma and decided to help you learn in a safe and loving environment. We both know Roxanne hates to leave things unfinished,” Wayne went on.

“But, so many people have tried because of the same thing and they all either got tired of having to explain the same thing to me 100 times or let their fear overcome them and ran away,” Megamind said, in a small voice

“Well Roxanne’s had more than enough chances to run away, don’t you think? And I refer back to her never giving up on anything. You are included in that, she didn’t give up on you when you revealed you’d been lying to her for months and when she thought you killed me. I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t throw all that away for you not saying the city’s name right a few times.”

“Hey!” Blue weakly protested. His mouth pulled into a pout.

“Oh sor-ry” Wayne said, rolling his eyes, “I forgot that’s the one thing you’re sensitive about.”

A small smile had started to form on Blue’s face. Wayne was so close to getting him back on track and back home. Although, God, Wayne wished that he was a part of that home. Wished he didn’t have to stop holding Blue in his lap, slowly rocking them together. But selfish thinking could wait until he was alone again, right now he had to work on getting his boy calm and ready to face the world again.

“What would help you be able to face this head on? Do you want me to come with you?” Wayne said

Blue immediately looks up at him, “Would you really?”

Wayne raises his eyebrows, then lowers them, letting out a small sigh. He forgot how unfamiliar Blue is with kindness.

“Yeah, Blue of course I would. You’re obviously very nervous and looking at the time, Roxanne is about to start blowing up your phone so-” Wayne stops as Megamind lets out a large gasp

“She’s rigged my phone with a bomb? Ohoho, how incredibly sinister of her. I suppose it would be a great way to prevent me from avoiding coming back…”

Megamind startles at the big, belly laugh the larger alien lets out.

“Oh my God. Hold on, hold on.” Wayne struggles to compose himself, “Ahhh, okay I’m not laughing at you before you think that. ‘Blowing up your phone’ is a figure of speech that means she’ll send you a ton of notifications. It makes your phone vibrate so much that it’s like an explosion.”

Despite Wayne’s consoling, Megamind still felt a blush creeping up on his face and around his ears.

“Oh hey, it’s alright. You didn't know, metaphors are hard.” Wayne said

“Not for you and Roxanne” Megamind mumbled

Wayne felt bad, he’d just calmed Blue down and now he’s undone all his work. Damn it, he has to learn when it’s appropriate to laugh at things.

Megamind could always tell when Wayne was upset he’d made a social faux pas. He had never been good at small facial expressions, it’s one of the traits that made the former hero’s grandiosity so naturally achievable. He was embarrassed but Wayne had done so much to help his mental state and he didn’t deserve to feel bad at laughing at Megamind’s misunderstanding.

“Hey,” Megamind gently touched Wayne’s arm, “It’s alright, I know you didn’t mean it. I would really appreciate it if you took me home. And, if it’s not too much to ask, would you stay? Just for the night. I think the lessons would be easier if I wasn’t the only person learning. Roxanne’s really good at teaching social skills too. She had an exposé about using acting as a form of therapy for socially anxious patients and she hyperfixated on it for a while afterwards. Anyway she directs community theater on the side some weekends. I think it would help you, especially with Code: Reintegrate Wayne Into Non-Superhero Society . Why are you looking at me like that?” Megamind stopped, looking up at Wayne’s face, which was in an emotion he couldn’t understand.

“It’s just, it’s so nice to see you when you get like this. So passionate and excited about something,” Wayne said, “God, I love you”

Megamind felt his jaw drop, his eyes widening in surprise.

Shit

[bandgeek4life8]

Guardians - chapter two the lost city of atlantis

Chapter 1

WC: 3, 453

Season 1, Episode 2: The Lost City of Atlantis

Previously on Guardian in Jim's POV "The Nightmares have emerged once more." Pabbie told everyone.

"GREAT GRONKA MORKA!!" Blinky exclaimed.

"And they attend to assimilate an army. They already have the witch Gothel, the bogeyman Pitch Black, the dragon tamer Drago Bludvist with his mother of dragons Red Death, the prince Hans of Southern Isles and Duke of Weselton, the cursed bear Mor'du, the Pirate "Captain Hook" Killian James, and the Boggan Mandrake. And I have a list of who they want. From my visions. But only two people I wish to say it to: Vendel and... James Lake Jr. Because she wishes it."

"Who wishes for me to know?" I asked him.

"Starling."

Some people are chosen for this life and have no choice but to accept its transgressions. Others spend their life completely in the dark about this life we lead. Some, like me, choose to live this life. It is a lot of work for anybody. Not just anybody can get into this life and survive its trials and tribulations. But we were born for this. To become guardians. But I'm not a guardian yet. I'm just an apprentice.

|{[INSERT_OPENING_SEQUENCE]}|

"Welcome to the first meeting of the Druidia Order." I announced.

"Did you have to name us after a planet in your favorite Star Wars movie?" asked the raven-haired time-traveller Wilbur Robinson.

"Spaceballs is not a Star Wars movie, Wilbur." Currently undercover spy, Walter Beckett told him.

Wilbur rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

"Did your dad teach you anything about Star Wars?" asked blonde enpath/ hockey-player from Wisconsin, Riley Anderson.

"Only that he hated the sequels, he loves the originals, and respects what the prequels tried to do." Wilbur said.

"Can we please get to the topic at hand please?" I asked everyone.

Everyone in the room grumbled out a yes and we continued with the precedings. Wow. That sounds way too formal for me.

"Well what can we do? We already made allies with the Arendelle trolls via Elsa and Anna. We had Grand Pabbie alert the Trollhunter of the Nightmares." said Ted Wiggins.

"Which means a group of you have to go find the essence stones." Megamind appeared with a plate of, "who wants cookies?"

"Are you growing soft on us, Meg?" Megamind basically growled at Wilbur for the nickname he used.

"I am trying to babysit Gru's oldest daughter and her friends." Megamind told him looking the kid dead in the eye.

"What do you know of the essence stones?" I asked him, ignoring the intense staredown happening between the two makes.

Megamind turned his attention away from Wilbur only for the time-traveller to blow a raspberry at him and Megamind to turn back and glare at him I rolled my eyes. The same old stupid antics. "I know where you can find the essence stone of the ocean."

"If you tell me we have to befriend Poseidon or-."

"It's in Atlantis." Megamind said.

"Or that." I facepalmed. "And how would you know that?"

"Because I have an evil underwater lair in the city of Atlantis." Cue another facepalm from me.

"And why...? You know what? I don't want to know. So how are we getting there?" I asked.

"It's not a matter of how we, but rather how who is getting there." Megamind said.

"That makes no sense whatsoever, dude." Hiro said as he walked into the room followed by Lucy Tuchi.

"Some of us will go on the mission while the rest research the rest of the essence stones." Megamind suggested.

"You know... your ideas are normally terrible. But this one is actually a good idea." Wilbur told him.

The alien growled. "Easy now, Megamind. When we heading out? And who is coming along for the ride?"

"You, Rayla, Ezran, Callum, Sisu, Hiccup, Jack, Light Furry, Walter, and Toothless." Megamind told us. "And you will leave tomorrow. After school."

"Alright. Before we do anymore planning, I need pizza." I walked over to where Hiro plopped the pizza on.

|{[INSERT_COMMERCIAL HERE]}| "

I cannot believe he has the audacity for this! He knows we're not on the best of terms, and yet he does this." I sighed.

"I'm sure he has a reason." said Hiro.

"It's Megamind. It's a stupid-ass reason." I told him.

Hiro sighed. "But you miss hanging out with Toby and Jim. And you-."

"Don't even finish that sentence. I know what you were going to say." Hiro gapped at me. "I know what you were going to say. Only three people know it. And one betrayed me."

My phone vibrated in my hoodie's pocket and I opened it up to see a text from my grandmother, Margaret. "Is that Marge? What she said?"

"She's wondering about the you-know-what with the you-know-who." I told him. She wants to know about James Lake Jr being the Trollhunter. Grandpa would not be pleased with this anyway. But he's dead. And he doesn't matter.

"You have gym next block right?" I groaned. Of course I forgot. And why of all days did we have to do the Pacer test today!

"And we're doing the pacer test today too!" I would have banged my head on a locker if we weren't coming from History. "Kill me now! Woe is me!"

"Stop being overdramatic. And I'm off my way to Robotics." Hiro said once we got to the hall where we would part ways.

"Don't take over the world of robotics without your team first." I called out to gim.

"Yeah, yeah. Just focus on making chemistry after gym, but preferably during." the smart-ass called back.

I'm gonna kill him one of these days. Just you wait, Hiro Hamada. I grumbled and continued on my way to the ends of the earth. Also known as gym. Because I lack the athletic ability of a worm. My arms are basically noodles before submerged in H20. I got dressed in my PE clothes and walked outside to the bleachers where I plopped myself down on. Gym. The one class I don't have my safety net to catch me. The one block where I feel alone. Completely and helplessly alone.

"Hey, [Y/N]. Mind if we sit here?" asked Toby.

It was just him and Jim. What on Earth are they up to? I scooted some ways away from my spot and patted the spot beside me. Jim took the spot beside me while Toby took the bench in front of us.

"We haven't hung out just the three of us in awhile, huh?" Toby remarked.

"You both seem busy since the semester started. I can't blame you for that one."  I told them. The pair shrugged at me, but it was a lying shrug. I would know. I do the same ones. "Anyway, what are we doing for our History Project, Jamie?" I looked over at him.

"I don't know. Wanna brainstorm some ideas after school?" Jim asked me.

"Can't. I have a family thing." Lying to them has gotten harder since I found out. Hopefully they don't catch. But they're idiots. They won't catch on... I hope. "I can come over tomorrow after school if you want."

"That... Th-th-th-that'll be gr-gr-gr-great." What's with the stammer? It's weird. "Oh, don't forget about Pig Zombies on Saturday."

"Don't worry. I have it all set in my calendar. So, what time is the movie?" I asked them.

Toby and Jim shared a look. Oh that is never good. "We don't actually know."

"Then, what are we going to do about Saturday?" I asked them.

"We're more of idea men." Like they're any close to being men. "Creating a plan is someone else's problem." Of course.

"You two haven't changed at all, have you? I'll get to work on that sometime this evening. You guys still have email, righr?" I asked them.

"Who still uses e-mail anymore?" Toby inquired.

"Good point. I'll just have Lucy drive us to the theater anyway." I replied. "So, how are you and Claire going, Jamie?"

"O-o-o-oh, m-m-me and Claire?" stammered Jim. That's strange.

"Yes, you and Claire. You two are dating, aren't you?" I asked him.

"Oh, y-y-yeah. We're g-g-g-good." Hmm. Peculiar. But Jim's always been like this when pertaining to Claire. Nothing suspicious about that.

I hope.

|{[INSERT_COMMERCIAL_HERE]}|

Jim

"So, you have a study date with [Y/N] tomorrow huh?" Claire teased me while we walked to Blinky's library.

"What-. Wait! You told her!" I exclaimed to Toby who was on my left side.

"Of course, I did. Dude, you've been hopelessly obliviously in love with this girl since she stole your first kiss on the monkey bars when we were nine. And she-."

"She clearly has feelings for you, but she's not gonna act upon them since you know we're fake dating and all that jazz." Claire said.

I sighed. "You're the smart one. Couldn't you have come up with something... um... better?"

"What? Because a wuss like you was going to ask her out if I didn't say we were dating?" Claire asked him, raising an eyebrow at her friend.

I sighed once more. She clearly had a point. And Tobes seemed to catch it too. "He tried to ask her if she wanted to go see Pig Zombie 6 for her sixteenth birthday, but dragged me along with them because he wussed out of calling it a date."

Claire tapped her chin in thought. I do not understand girls. Then, she did the thing where you smack your fist against your hand in an aha! idea moment. Which is what transpired next. "I have a perfect idea for your movie date on Saturday."

"Am I going to regret this?" I asked her.

"I hope not. I'm helping you whether you want me to or not." Yea me! Internal frown.

We made it Blinky's library in which the four arm troll was talking animatedly to Vendell. About Essence Stones? What the fuzz buckets are those?

"Um, what are the Essence Stones?" I piped up.

"The Essence Stones are the only thing that can combat the Oncoming Storm." Vendel explained.

"Which is why we should be looking for them! We already know where one is! The Sea Stone!" Blinky told him.

"I already told you the Starling has this under control. This is her fight. Not ours. We shouldn't-."

"But then why have Pabbie tell us about the resurgence anyways?!" Blinky cut him off. I don't think Blinky has ever interrupted Vendel before. This is a first.

"Because to warn us of an even greater danger, Blinkous!! One that we have to face on our own! As Trolls!" the elder roared.

I never saw a look of fear as intense as the look that crossed Blinky's face when Vendel told him that. A greater danger? Even Aaarrrggghh! and Draal had the same look as Blinky. What did it all mean? Vendel left the library.

"I don't care what the goat says. We're getting the Sea Stone." Blinky told us.

"And how do we acquire it?" asked Claire.

"Hate Gyre." Aaarrrgghh! cried. Oh.

"And where would we find the Sea Stone?" Toby asked. "It's underwater right? And we can't breathe in water? So is it in an aquarium? Washed up on a beach?"

"I'll tell you where when we get to the Gyre." Claire, Toby, and I shared a look before shrugging our shoulders and following Blinky to the Gyre.

When we got there, we reached the Gyre and hopped in. "So, where are we going?"

"Under the sea. In an underwater palace where there is no water inside located in what you humans refer to as The Bermuda Triangle. Get ready for Atlantis." And before the three of us could protest, Blinky put in the coordinates and we zipped off towards... did he really say Atlantis? And the Bermuda Triangle?

But I didn't have time to question it as we arrived in a palace? And our clothes were soaking wet. But we never submerged in water? You know what? I shouldn't question it. Me and my friends huddled for warmth. It'll be awhile before we're dry. But why isn't- you know what? Never mind. I don't care.

"Okay, so where do we go first?" asked Toby.

"We head for the treasure room. The Jewel of Atlantis is the Sea Stone." Blinky told us.

"Why are we wet, but you aren't?" asked Claire.

"No clue." Blinky shrugged his shoulders.

The three of us grumbled but followed after Blinky with Aaarrrgghh! and Draal taking the rear. This is going to be a long evening. Our little group trudged, our squeaky footprints giving our location to anyone who would be here. And I think someone was here. Because a familiar ball of silver and blue was charging at us. Not us. Me. Followed by a march larger greenish-blue dragon.

"Hi, Azymondias." I said to the baby dragon when he jumped into my arms.

"I see you humans have already met the Prince. Starling's Zym seems to like you Mr Lake." the green-ish blue dragon said. Um... do dragons normally...

"YOU TALK?!?!" Thanks for that, Tobes.

"Of course, I do. I'm Sisu. Starling sent me after Little Azymondias to make sure he stayed out of trouble." Why aren't Blinky, Aarrrgghh!, and Draal freaking out about there being another dragon? And the elf being here?

"You six, now-seven, looking for the Treasure Room?" asked Sisu.

I shivered as a breeze went by. Why was there a breeze? We're in a dry castle underwater! This is just too weird.

"We were headed that way right now!" Blinky told the dragon.

Azymondias coughed. Or sneezed? I don't know. But he zapped me and I yelped and I'm... dry? Well alot dryer than before. Uh, thank you. Living dryer thay could kill me at any given moment. But you're still cute. So you're forgiven if you do.

"Well I wouldn't go that way! That's where Meg put his evil lair at." Sisu told us.

"Lair?" "Meg?"

"Meg is what the time-traveler calls Megamind. And he placed a lair here when he was going through his 'evil' phase." I did not know Dragons did air quotes.

"Time Traveler? Like the Doctor? Or Loki?" askes Toby.

"Looks like a mix of Matt Smith and Loki as a tween with too much hair gel. Alright, kids follow me." Sisu told us.

Zym appeared on my shoulder, wrapping his small body around on my shoulder and we followed the hopping dragon towards the treasure room. We had reached the treasure room, avoiding all the traps (that was on the ceiling for some strange reason). We arrived there. And Sisu peered inside before letting us enter. Strange.

But I couldn't help peering over Sisu's sboulder "Are you really angry that the Trollhunter keeps unknowingly stealing your pet?" That sounded like... no it can't be.

"Azymondias is not my pet. My pet sounds like I chose to take care of him. The bundle of zappy madness chose me to take care of him. So if anything, I'm his pet." Please tell me that's not who I think it is. But the-I'm guessing- Startouch Elf looks nothing like her. Not one bit. Well maybe except for the nose. And the eyes.

"You make absolutely no sense. And yet you love him anyway." the other voice said. A male with slick-back hair. This must be the time-traveler Wow. Sisu was spot on.

"Kids, easy now. We wouldn't want this to get into the wrong hands. Not this close to the Cotillion." A brunette male that appeared to be the oldest of the group. Why does he look so familiar to me?

"I have a question for you, pig snout. Meg said you wouldn't be here. Why the hell are you here? And why are you even here?" the elf asked.

"I stowed away because none of you are smart." the time-traveller said.

"Says the royal dumbass." the female elf sighed. "I'm so young and yet I feel so old." she emphasized. I was half expecting her to do a dramatic fall like they always seem to do in soap operas notthatIwatchsoapoperasinthefirstplacethat'sabsurd.

"I already knew that, dumbass." time-traveler said.

"Go on, Trollhunter." Sisu used her tail to push me toward the elf's group to retrieve the essence stone. "Introduce yourself."

And suddenly I stumbled upon the room making the group's attention turn to me. "Um...hi." Cue the awkward wave. "I'm... James Lake Jr? I'm the... Trollhunter." I held out the Amulet of Merlin. I could practically sense Toby and Claire facepalming at this.

"Starling, I think this one is for you to handle." I now noticed the brunette boy that stood beside the other elf. Is that... Callum Schlott?? Um... I hope if that is him, he doesn't tell [Y/N] about this.

"I am the one they refer to as Starling as you must know. And we don't need you here. To help us." The girl's hand were running up and down a strand of her waist length periwinkle hair. [Y/N] did the same thing when she had long hair. Not the time Jim.

"I think we do. Because the Seastone is missing if you've forgotten." the other elf said. She sounds like Rayla. And sort of looks like her too.

"THE SEASTONE IS GONE!?!?!?" Blinky exclaimed.

"Unfortunately so. Now, one advantage turns out to be a setback." I didn't notice the other brunette who had a black dragon that was acting like a cat by his feet.

"Do you have any leads?" asked Claire as she stepped forward.

"Just a Roman Penny. No clue from where though." Starling told us. "Now, I think it's time you kids return to California. Don'tyouthink."

|{[INSERT_COMMERCIAL_HERE]}|

"So Atlantis was a flopp?" I had already told Draal about the whole atlantis situation.

Luckily mom had another night shift at the hospital, so Draal could walk around freely while I made dinner for myself. Elbow Pasta and Meat Sauce it appears to be.

"Yes, it was, Draal." I turned the TV on and started flipping through the channels to find the one I wanted. "At least, I met Starling. She was not what I was expecting."

"Most elves aren't. You humans expect them to be small and cute because of the Claus, but they aren't." Draal told me.

"Actually, I think," I found what I was looking for. The French food competition show the World's Greatest Chef Competiton. "she was the exact opposite of what all of you were saying. Sure she was a tad harsh to us, but I think she didn't want to involve us in the Essence Stones. Like she didn't want anymore added help. I don't know." A knock sounded on the door.

"Were you expecting anyone?" asked Draal.

"Not that I know. Toby and Claire wouldn't knock. They'll just barge on in." I told him.

And before I got to the door, the door opened to reveal a boy with white hair, incredibly pale skin wearing a blue sweatshirt and brown trousers. "Don't be such a pussy, Hiccup." That was Sisu.

"Yeah, we're only here since Zym wants the trollhunter to be his dragon rider and to train him how to combat magic." white hair said.

"Um... what are you doing at my house?" I asked them as I held my wooden spoon in my hand, ready to strike them if necessary.

"You and Punzie would be great friends, squirt." The platinum blonde ruffled my brown hair to make it messy. My hair now looks like the dragon boy's hair.

"We're here to train you. I'm Hiccup. And this is Jack. Jack Frost." Wait. What? I'm lost. "I live over in Berk Manor. And you have wandered in a den where you cannot get out of." the brunnette introduced.

"Which is why Starling didn't want you to get involved. By trying to help us with the Seastone, you and your friends have put a target on your back. Starling didn't want that. But now we have to help you. To train you. Hiccup here is a Dragon Rider. And even though Azymondias isn't big enough to be ridden. He will be. I suspect sooner than you think, so he's going to train you to ride him. And I and many others are going come here to help you train against magic. Since the people who will come after you to kill you will have magic." Jack Frost told me. Now I'm really lost.

"So let's begin."

@trollhuntersfanatic

[buginateacup]

Just passing through with a vision: Megamind in his old age with negative fucks to give. A jolly old crime grandpa kicking in the doors of the Very Important Crime Boss Meeting like "HEY KIDS LETS ROB A BANK!" and then during the actual heist they just steal all the pens and leave.

Anon I wish I could tag you in this because I had much fun writing it...

"I asked you to get me a pen!"

"I did get you a pen! I got you every pen they had!"

"I meant from the mug in my office! Not to rob a bank!"

"Why not? It's not like everyone doesn't use e-signatures now anyway. They only had pens to be pretentious. And look! This one has colour changing ink!"

"Its very pretty love, but that was a very concerning phone call I got from Nikolai Tarankov after you burst into his meeting and snatched up half the attendees for a surprise bank robbery,"

"It was Vasily's birthday, I promised him something special."

Roxanne eyed him over her spectacles, silver hair with a bright blue streak rumpled messily from where she had been running her fingers through it (Roxanne had delighted in going grey, it meant she didn't need to pre-bleach her hair anymore) and sighed, "You realise you're going to have to do the same thing for all of them now."

"You say that like its a bad thing," Megamind leant on his cane (its not a cane Minion its an emergency laser rifle that just so happens to be disguised as a cane) and grinned at her.

"It is," But she's smiling as she says it, "I know you're godfather to half the hench's kids in the city but did you have to actually dress like Marlon Brando?"

"You don't like it?"

“I never said that,”

Megamind held out his arms and tweaked the cuffs of his three piece suit, "I thought about wearing the tux but it didn't seem fair when I didn't give the rest of them warning about dressing the part."

Above a sharp beard that was more salt than pepper these days (Megamind had not delighted in going grey, no matter how much Roxanne said she liked it), one bright green eye winked at her roguishly. The other, an integrated prosthetic linked to the data streams in the lair, was hidden behind an eyepatch that Roxanne knew full well he wore for show.

"I suppose Vasily enjoyed himself?" She asked in amusement.

"He absolutely did. I even let him have first pick of the pens."

"You really shouldn't encourage them," Roxanne tucked her soft purple cardigan around her shoulders.

"I know but they all did so well I'm taking them out for ice-cream to celebrate."

"You're taking half the Tarankov gang out for ice-cream for doing well at a bank robbery?"

"That was the deal if they didn’t shoot anybody. Besides it just the boys,” He shrugged carelessly “The girls were at Mama Goldhand's. Something about Svetlana's wedding,"

"I know, we accepted the invitation to that by the way."

"Oh excellent," He took her hand and kissed it, "I do love an excuse to dance with my Evil Queen,"

"As opposed to your usual excuse of its a day ending in Y?"

"I like to stay unpredictable"

"Of course you do,"

"Anyway, the girls are going to be jealous so I promised we'd visit the art museum next week." He kissed her cheek and headed for the door, "I'm off to meet with them about it after ice-cream."

"Oh they'll love that...wait why are you taking them to the art museum?"

"Sorry darling I didn't hear you! Must need to update my hearing aids,"

"You refuse to wear your hearing aids!"

"I know! It makes it very easy to win arguments when you can't hear what the other person is saying."

Roxanne huffed and rolled her eyes, taking up the pen with the colour changing ink to finish her crossword, "As long as you get me a miniature version of the Venus de Milo from the giftshop."

"Venus de Milo! Got it!"

"Miniature! Miniature Venus de Milo!"

"I'm sorry I can't hear you! Must be the hearing aids! I'm going to assume you said you still find me devastatingly handsome and love me just as much as you did fifty years ago and intend to prove it to me as thoroughly as possible on my return!"

Roxanne snorted and wrote down a seven letter phrase for professed adoration, "Genius," she muttered smiling, "If anything I love you more."

[gretchensinister]

I want Megamind sequel

Listen, normally I don’t want sequels, and normally I REALLY don’t like sequel babies, but I have to make an exception for Megamind.

So, we start off, Roxanne and Megamind getting married (maybe Minion officiates?) and there’s a tease at the “interrupted wedding” trope, but Megamind has GOT THIS and the wedding gets done all official-like. Then there’s a montage, setting up a house, Roxanne still being a reporter, Megamind doing superhero-y things, Roxanne is pregnant, and then finally there’s a little half-human baby. Hooray!

Except that it turns out that caring for a newborn when a couple is a reporter and a ex-supervillain-now-superhero is actually really difficult! Especially because these very threatening robot drones are now showing up in the city like, all the time. They need help. But Minion can’t be the one to be the babysitter because he’s taking some time to see the world now and learn how to be his own fish, even if Megamind is still his best friend.

So it’s like, “who do we know who has a lot of free time and would be able to protect our baby from any harm?”

Obviously…MetroMusicMan! Hooray!

So that’s working out great. (And like, for anyone who is willing to see it, it’s very clear also that this is developing into a throuple situation. First with Megamind at the apex of a V, but while Roxanne and Metroman were never a couple, now with Megamind also there…)

Anyway one day Metroman and the baby are at the park and there’s just…a little tension with some people. Not most people. But not zero people. The baby’s blue. She (I’ve decided the baby should be a girl) is visibly not entirely human. She’s too young to notice, but Metroman does, and he’s (badly) singing her a song about like, ignoring people like that, when one of the threatening robot drones lands in the park and scans them both before Metroman can even react. Then it zooms off.

And the next day an alien mothership shows up calling for Earth to give up the [y]ian and half-[y]ian and the [z]ian. And Roxanne immediately makes herself spokesperson and is like “WTF why?”

And it turns out that it wasn’t a random disaster that destroyed Megamind’s and Metroman’s worlds. They were destroyed deliberately by these aliens for no reason, essentially, other than “being weird and gross. You kept…mingling.” The evil aliens admit to starting a war between Megamind and Metroman’s worlds to keep them apart, but it didn’t work perfectly and [y]ians and [z]ians kept crossing lines even after most [y]ians and [z]ians traditionally hated each other. So they decided to blow up both planets. But it’s no loss! They have all the music, history, and art of the planets stored on this crystal macguffin! And ever since they’ve been moving through the galaxy hunting down any [y]ians and [z]ians who were off-planet/got away.

WELL THIS IS A BOMBSHELL.

And the evil aliens really don’t see a problem with what they���re doing because they’ve gotten away with it for so long.

They give Earth a time limit to give up Megamind, the baby, and Metroman before they come down to get them, but then one of the evil aliens looks closely at the drone data and is like “wait…the other half of that baby is an Earthling. You have also…mingled.”

And there’s like some argument among the evil aliens but eventually they’re like “we will spare the Earth, as long as no one does anything like this EVER AGAIN”

And Roxanne is like “You can’t tell people what to do like that!”

And then the evil aliens halve the time limit.

Meanwhile, Minion has returned from vacation to find Megamind and Metroman in various states of shock and franticness in Megamind’s new lair, passing the baby back and forth and like WE NEED A PLAN But something the evil aliens did has made it clear that neither of their usual approaches is going to work

Roxanne comes back, there’s more freaking out, and part of that is her saying of course they’re not going to give up anybody, especially not THE BABY and listing off various human things that she wants their daughter to experience.

And Megamind agrees but also like…he didn’t even know the name of the alien species he came from until today. The evil aliens have all that [y]ian stuff on the mothership. And Metroman, shouldn’t he also know more about [z]ians?

So blah blah blah “They don’t want us to face them together—but we will!”

Except for the baby. Minion gets to have a turn babysitting this time.

So then there’s a big cool action scene where Megamind and Roxanne and Metroman fight the evil aliens, get the macguffin with all of the [y]ian and [z]ian culture on it…and also, as a surprise, whatever thing the evil aliens were using to find [y]ians and [z]ians. Actually, yeah, also that tech is stolen from another planet the evil aliens blew up, so they can’t rebuild it and continue their evil mission.

The day is saved! Big hugs with Megamind in the middle! Even the people from the park are more chill now!

Credits scenes: Roxanne trying not to roll her eyes as she reports on a “mysterious new villain” that only fights Megamind in deserted areas outside the city (It’s Metroman. He missed using his powers.)

Pictures: the baby and Megamind in matching weird alien outfits, the baby and Metroman in different matching weird alien outfits, labelled things like “Baby’s first flksfjioed!”

Wheeling the [y]ian and [z]ian detector into a half-constructed spaceship. Minion in an upgraded robot body because he’s super into travel now—some ambiguous brief convo about how Megamind’s needed on Earth—

Ship landing, triad and toddler with a welcome sign and—the door opens and more [y]ians and [z]ians come out! (AND MINION HAS A FISH PARTNER NOW! WHAT!)

This scene is happy but also like super emotional obviously! And—oh yeah. The daughter is an older sister by now. But there’s something about this second blue-ish baby’s design…

(That ambiguous convo about Megamind being needed on Earth—well, the macguffin crystal explained A LOT that they didn’t know, and the second blue baby is Megamind and Metroman’s. Megamind couldn’t go off planet because he was pregnant. DON’T @ me, Treasure Planet initially had Dr. Doppler carrying the epilogue babies. Anyway it would still only be implied/only present in rumors from various creatives who worked on the movie.)

And we end with happy triad for everyone with eyes to see it, Metroman as permanent babysitter and sparring partner (for dinguses), and hopefully restoring cultures for all!

And now I’m sad that this movie will never exist.

[illdothehotvoice]

Before I say anything: I don't line Underfell that much I think it needs a lot of revamping to be good lol but anyways have your own opinion on that this isn't what this post is about.

I am SO upset y'all saw the premise of Underfell, went "Oh oh Edgy evil Papyrus" and didn't think ONCE. that maybe. Just MAYBE instead of Papyrus being an abusive fuck we could have had him be like Megamind and it would have fit SO well with his UT character (because that..that is the point if an au-)

All I'm saying is we could have had over the top villain Papyrus covered in spikes who's like "Look at me I am SO evil I'm going to kill you SO hard." Who like actually is just a sweetheart and cares WAY too much about presentation (his traps would be SO fucking flashy) and instead we have "Nyeh I am terrible and evil and abusive towards my brother but it' s okay because I only do it cause I care about him or some shit look at my dog."

[ask-megamind-blue-defender]

Hi Megamind, what would you do if I stealth attack hugged you? Cause I kinda wanna do it but I'm also not trying to get dehydrated.

*Yelps, drops a wrench to clang on the Lair's floor, jumps three feet in the air, and lands facing you with the degun drawn.*

*Relaxes suddenly upon seeing that you're NOT a villain and makes an inhuman noise of rolling syllables and hissing S's that may or may not be a relieved swear word in an alien language.*

Oh. Ollo. Thank heavens it's not somebody evil! Really! Did you have to sneak up on me like that? You're like the Hug-Ninja!

...And how did you find my Hideout, anyway?!