#oh yeah and the game itself is as awesome as I remembered it when I was 11

[suchscary]

aunt Sveltana my beloved

[weirdmageddon]

gimme your case for liking arquiussprite, genuinely curious

he’s just such a weirdo maniac that it’s funny, like i have no words when it comes to that dude he really is a character that just leaves you stunned. i would hate being around him irl but hes so bizarre that i cant help but i appreciate him as a character for that

also side note, i fuckin love how voxus brought his manic energy to life with their voice acting

i think it comes down to the fact that his outlook isn’t miserable, he loves being alive and that alone makes a character more tolerable to me. he doesn’t give a fuck about how he comes off aside from his language, which compared to literally everything else about him seems like such a trivial issue. but that in of itself adds a lot of character. and the way he mixes formal and casual words to create this odd dialect that just tickles my brain. like you cant deny he IS entertaining.

he actually has good judgment and speaks only facts

ARQUIUSPRITE: 100k at me. I needed to merge a sweaty guy who loves horses in order to be happy

ARQUIUSPRITE: Gosh d***** horses Dirk

ARQUIUSPRITE: I think about them all the time while I fle% and it makes me smile

^ this is so awesome. good for him

the equius part of him really still cares about nepeta and its like…aw. also “sir/peon” fucking LOL

dont see this talked about much, if at all but, he gets real important shit done for the session by himself which is pretty cool. the genesis frog needs the grist hoard to grow. everyone say thank you arquiusprite. also the fact that sprites can control the game directly without server/client is pretty damn cool? i dont remember seeing that before this

oh and also this is legendary

basically this post yeah. certified awesome Phreak

[basu-shokikita]

Kloktober 2023 Day 25

Campfire or left in the cold

Since Dethklok were already canonically abandoned in the snow, I decided to go for campfire today. For some reason, I couldn’t stop picturing Nathan and Skwisgaar at the campfire so that’s what you’re getting! They’re one of my favorite Dethklok relationships after all :)

“Okeys, starts askings de questionks, go, go go!” Skwisgaar rubbed his hands in expectation. 

“Okay, okay…” Nathan narrowed his eyes at his phone screen. “If you could be an animal, what would you be?”

Skwisgaar replied instantly. “A dragons, you!”

“Maybe like Godzilla or something…” Nathan said, in deep thought. “Godzilla is fucking brutal.” He returned his eyes to the screen. “What has made you laugh until you cried?”

“Whens…” Skwisgaar was already giggling at the memory. “Whens Moidaface tripped with dogs shit, den a bananas, then his hair caught fires, then brokes his nose...when he diveds in a pools.” He shut his eyes, body shaking from laughter.

Nathan chuckled. “That was fucking awesome. I guess that’s mine too.” He stared at the screen again. “Favorite TV Show?”

Some hours ago, Skwisgaar had suggested to Nathan to get fucking plastered, a suggestion Nathan would never turn down. They decided to get booze without the Klokateers and, on their way back from the store, they got lost in the woods.

Luckily, they had found a small campfire that Charles had set all across the place in case any Dethklok member would ever get lost, they could be safe and warm. Charles had told them to stay there and wait to be picked up. And while they waited, well…that booze wasn’t going to drink itself. 

Skwisgaar especially was giving Nathan a fight for his money with that bottle of rum, which was impressive considering Nathan was the one that got a liver transplant due to this extreme alcohol consumption. 

While neither of them was normally too talkative, alcohol made them more chatty. Thus, they were now playing the 20 questions game with each other. 

“Uhh….a fact about the last person you kissed…” Nathan asked reluctantly, like he wasn’t sure he was reading it right. 

“He ams a stupid dildos.” Skwisgaar answered way too fast. 

Nathan blinked. “He?”

“She,” Skwisgaar belatedly corrected. “She ams…stupids…” He frowned at the fire and took another gulp of rum. 

Nathan thought it was weird that Skwisgaar seemed bitter, he didn’t seem like the type to even remember his partners. Not that he cared. “Mine had huge boobs and was super hot. Next question…most traumatic exper-let’s skip that. What’s the last text you received?” 

Wordlessly, Skwisgaar pulled up his phone and opened the messaging app. He raised both eyebrows for a second before his expression turned neutral again. “You ams a colds unfeelingks monsters.” He read, impassively. 

“Woah.” Nathan chuckled. “That’s brutal. Who sent that?”

“Toki.” Skwisgaar said before tucking his phone back in his pocket. 

“Oh.” That was considerably less brutal. “Did you guys fight?”

“He ams just being a big babies as usualsk.” Skwisgaar rested his face on his hand, seemingly done with the conversation.

“Right…” Nathan scrolled down his own messages. “The last message I got was from Charles saying we needed to stay put, so…” He opened the image again and cleared his throat. “Last awkward situation you found yourself in?”

Skwisgaar snorted. “When Pickle walkeds into me and Toki-” His half-lidded gaze suddenly turned wide-eyed. “P-Playings wif our swords- I means guitars! We were playingks wif our guitars!”

Nathan wasn’t sure if he had drank too much and was starting to hallucinate things but something was starting to be really odd about Skwisgaar’s answers. If anything, this was currently his most awkward situation. “Okay, let’s move on…have you met the person you fell hardest for?”

“Noes!” Skwisgaar yelled. “Noes, I hasn’ts! I don’ts do dat! I don’ts falls for peoples evors!” As if to emphasize this, he took a pretty long swig of his bottle and finished it.

Yeah, he was going to ignore that too. He was definitely going to ignore it. “Yeah, that’s a no for me too…” He mumbled to himself before moving to the next question. “What’s a secret you haven’t told anyo-”

“Nethans, ams you questioningks me?” Skwisgaar stood up and gave him an accusing glare. 

“What?” Nathan grimaced. “No? What the fuck are you talking about, I’m just reading these stupid questions!” He looked back at his phone. “Next question says: talk about your ex.”

“I don’ts has an ex!” Skwisgaar exclaimed in frustration.

“That’s what the game says!” Nathan replied, just as frustrated.

Puffing, Skwisgaar sat back down on the tree trunk. The crackling of fire filled the silence between them. “Sorries.” He said after a while.

Nathan stared at him with vague, intoxicated concern. “Are you okay?” 

“Ams dat a games questionks?” Skwisgaar said, gaze half-lidded again. 

“Uh…” Nathan glanced at his phone. “Yeah.”

Skwisgaar kept his eyes on the fire, lip quivering. “Noes…” He let out quietly.

Nathan pretended to read from the image on his phone. “Why…are you not…okay?”

Skwisgaar sighed, covering his face with his hands. “I thoughts I didn’t cares about somethings…but I does…and it sucks.”

He might have had too much to drink, because it was making him sad to see Skwisgaar so dejected. “What happened?” After a pause, he added. “That’s also a question here.”

His friend chuckled. “I…has an argskuments with somebodies….” He lowered his hands, frustrated at himself. “I knows! Soes fucking stupids. Ams I a goil? Pfft.”

Nathan waited and waited, but when Skwisgaar didn’t say anything else, he insisted. “And?”

“Ands…” Skwisgaar blinked slowly at the fire, like he couldn’t comprehend what he was feeling. “Ands I misses dat idiots.”

“So, go and tell that person that.”

Skwisgaar winced. “I can’ts.” 

“Uh, why?”

“He-she wants somethings whats I cant’s give hims…I means her.” Skwisgaar mumbled and buried his face in his legs.

In turn, Nathan took several gulps of his whiskey bottle, because he really was going to need it to listen to Skwisgaar’s half-baked confession. He exhaled loudly, the alcohol burning his insides. “And what is that?”

Skwisgaar didn’t move for several seconds. “Loves.” He finally said, voice muffled.

Seriously? That was it? Love?! Nathan squinted at Skwisgaar in disbelief. “The way I see it, you don’t seem to be having problems with that.”

Confused, Skwisgaar raised his head. “...What you means?”

Nathan stared into Skwisgaar’s eyes, a bit exasperated to have to spell it out for him. He was never the best with words, but Skwisgaar was even worse. “Egh, I mean that what I’m hearing is that you……love this person, Skwisgaar. Your problem is that you don’t want to admit it.” He drank more whiskey. “That’s it.”

Skwisgaar looked at him like he had invented the atomic bomb, or something. “I alreadies…?”

Nathan saw a bush move and he stood up instinctively before recognizing the Klokateer uniform. Oh, right, they were waiting to be picked up. 

“Sir!” The Klokateer waved his hand, and another one came running behind. “Where’s-”

“He’s right here.” Nathan pointed at Skwisgaar, who still seemed to be in a state of semi-shock. “Hey, Skwisgaar,” He nudged his shoulder. “They came to get us.”

Skwisgaar didn't react.

Very quickly, the Klokateers reached them, covering them in blankets and giving them hot chocolate. A monitoring Charles spoke with them on the phone. The Klokateers said something about wolves and bears being in the area, though Nathan didn’t really listen, instead focusing on putting some whiskey on the beverage before drinking it. That was really good.

On the way back to Mordhaus, Skwisgaar didn’t say a word, just held the chocolate awkwardly, some drops spilling on his blanket but he didn’t seem to care. When they finally arrived to their house, though, Toki was waiting at the entrance, an anxiety-riddled expression on his face.

“Nethans,” He said, mildly relieved, though his eyes were still searching. “Where’s- Oh!” He ran to Skwisgaar, wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug. It was nothing out of the regular, really, Toki had always gravitated more towards Skwisgaar out of all Dethklok members.

After the conversation he had with Skwisgaar, however, Nathan couldn’t help but feel like there was something different. As Toki said unintelligible things to Skwisgaar, the latter gazed at Nathan. He hadn’t quite recovered from everything but he nodded at Nathan.

Nathan nodded back at him before he went back to his room to rest. It wasn’t until he had laid on his bed that he realized he was smiling.

Skwisgaar never said thanks outloud. 

[the-cusk]

Ok fine let's do theory time. This will be mostly about Session 7 and Gem's task. Now, I got two big points here, (a) The End/The Void is an entity that is independent of The Watchers and (b) Gem's task and, by extension, she herself came from that entity's will.

Now the obvious connection is obvious, yeah yeah who opened the End portal, but this goes farther. So, uh, remember episode 1? Specifically, when Gem and Lizzie found pumpkins and formed an alliance of sorts? Pumpkins, that's right. They became kind of a big deal. Since then, Gem and Lizzie had been consistently connected to The End. When Lizzie got the hard task to get everyone to sleep, first thing she thought of? The End. But then, why did she die to the very thing she was intertwined with.

Well, Scott of course. Scott has consistently been the most resistant to influence from cosmic entities. He actively spit in the faces of The Watchers multiple times now, after all. He was meant to die in the void. But not just because of his own aspect, but because Lizzie hasn't fully assimilated to her new connection. She didn't wear a pumpkin. The End had to shoot blindly, and with Scott's aura of negation he wasn't gonna be the one hit.

Now let's have an aside about what The End's intentions are in this series. Cause all cosmic entities gotta have one right? Well, The Watchers designed the games to be a feast of discord, war, betrayal, all of the fun stuff. The End, on the other hand, seeks to, well, end the games, as fast as possible. How were the first two reds created? Now, it's probably not exactly a humanitarian motivation from The End here. Whether it's merciful oblivion or just a thirst for finality, it still creates war and brutality, just not in the same way as The Watchers. The Watchers want the feast to stretch for as long as possible, as the payoff will be that much sweeter. The End wants to finish everything as fast as possible. You could argue that the Boogie curse has origins in The End, with Skizz as the catalyst, but I don't feel like going into that atm.

Ok, finally, how does that connect to Session 7's events? Well, as mentioned before Lizzie died when she wasn't meant to, with overwhelming feelings of rage and a desire for revenge against (most of) the server. In addition, two other reds, mumbo and jimmy, died to a forced hard task from grian and etho. So, all the reds except The Watchers' special boy Martyn are gone. Not awesome if you want everything to return to dust quickly. But, mainly, Lizzie's, uhhhh, let's call it curse, people like that word, transferred to Gem in the form of a hijacked task. I mean, it doesn't function according to any of the rules set by the Secret Keeper. And neither did Gem's end portal task, really, if you think about. Oh abd neither did Bdub's free the end. Wait. Bdub's? Free the End? And hey, would you look at that, he's also the first infected. And who's next? Impulse, Pearl? Ain't that our little end fighting army? (Also, Bdubs was the first ever person to get the Boogie curse but again, not getting into that. So, uh yeah, basically The End, an entity in opposition to The Watchers, has hijacked the task system, and possibly brought Gem in, in order to free itself and then end the series as quickly as possible. A desperation move, really, but it makes sense, this season's torture was gonna be especially prolonged.

Essentially my first theory, and I don't have too much knowledge on lore and stuff, but sometimes words are in your head and you have to get them out somehow.

[hemmohaze]

Weekend Getaway

Word Count: 1,000+

Warnings: Smut, Alcohol consumption, and Cursing

A/N: I literary wrote all of this while listening to b-Sides and rarities. Justice for Greenlight

Coachella Weekend 2019

The drive to the house they'd all be staying at during Coachella should've been an only hour but due to Micheal's dick not be able to control itself once he saw Kalani in just his Final Fantasy shirt and a thong, they were late because he wanted to fuck her senseless in their shower.

Also heavy traffic on the highway was halting them. So now the couple was an hour away from the house.

Kalani stuck her head out of the window and sighed seeing cars for days. "We wouldn't be in this problem if your dick couldn't control yourself." She mumbled, pulling up a game on her phone to pass time.

"If I remember correctly all I heard from you was 'Oh fuck! Don't stop don't stop. Your dick is so good’ He imitated Kalani. "I can’t recall you complaining."

"Don't stop doing what you're doing. Every time you move to the beat it gets harder for me and you know it know it." Kalani starts singing their most hated song earning a blank stare from Micheal.

"I hate you. That song is god awful."

“I mean you were a horny teenage boy. Looks like not much has changed.” She patted his thigh.

Before he could come up with a snarky remark the touch screen in his car lit up with Ashton's contact.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Where are you two?" Ashton questioned seeming worried per usual.

"Stuck in freeway traffic. Yeah I know man it’s awful. We'll be there as soon as we can but no promises it’ll be in 20 minutes. Go talk to KayKay and annoy her.” He hung up.

"He truly is such an old man." Kalani joked as she adjusted the straps on her tank top. Her under boob sweat was going to be miserable since she decided to go braless with this specific top and the air conditioner was doing nothing for her.

She placed her sandal clad feet in the dashboard and dozed off during the slow traffic and the low playlist playing.

Thankfully with Micheal driving a little faster and definitely breaking some traffic laws, they got to the place with everyone waiting in their cars since Kalani had the keys to the house.

The boys unloaded their cars while Sierra,Kalani, and KayKay squealed once they saw one another.

"Sierra! You look amazing." She complimented her friend's new hair. Recently she'd gotten blonde extensions for Coachella specifically.

“KayKay your hair looks awesome too!” She exclaimed with a smile looking at her black bob.

“Thanks. It was such a bitch to cut.” She chuckled.

"Kalani you’re glowing. Your pilates is obviously paying off girl you look so good!!" Sierra slapped her butt playfully.

“I can’t wait for a weekend of girl time while our boys do their manly things.” She joked wrapping her arm around Sierra’s and KayKay’s shoulders as she was leading them in the house and telling everyone where their rooms were.

————

Three hours passed and the group was around the firepit all drinking with slow conversation and a collective playlist playing on a speaker.

Micheal's eyes kept taking in Kalani's appearance while he was in mid conversation with Luke. The way her curls bounced in wind, the way her face lit up whenever she was talking about something to her vlog camera that excited her to Sierra, the bright red tube top mixed with her glowing tan skin. She was the most beautiful woman he's ever laid eyes on.

“I think your mans is staring at you.” KayKay nodded her head to Micheal who was at the fire-pit while the girls had their feet in the pool water. He waved to her making a crimson blush creep on her face.

Slowly when it was getting dark the group made it inside into their respective rooms. Micheal sat on the bed, mindlessly scrolling through the TV to find something to watch while Kalani showered to get the day off of her while she also had a surprise for him. In preparation because she was determined to get dicked down, she shaved basically everywhere so she was a hairless cat.

Quickly drying off and lathering herself in body oil and vanilla lotion. She grabbed a hot pink lace set she got from a Skims PR package in the mail two weeks ago, less to Micheal's knowledge. She looked at herself in the full length mirror and smiled at her appearance. She felt so sexy and confident.

Micheal knocked on the door noticing she was gone a while. "You good in there?"

"Yeah I'm coming out now!"

She opened the door walking out and Micheal's jaw dropped at the woman he gets to call his girlfriend.

"Do you like it?" She tucked a curl behind her ear in anxiety that he wouldn’t like it.

"Like it? Baby I love this, you look so sexy and beautiful, fuck got me at a loss for words here." He took her tattooed hand and pulled her in his lap.

She smiled down at him and leaned closer to place her lips on his. It was a slow and passionate kiss.

“Can I suck your dick please.” She asked between open mouth kisses.

He nodded his head and moved closer to sit on the edge of the bed, his breathing picking up as Kalani made her way on her knees kissing every mark and little teasing touches until she got to his basketball shorts.

Micheal jutted his hips up so she could take them off him. He let out a breathless moan as the cold air of the room hit his already hard cock.

She bit her lip in anticipation and spit in her hand before stroking him slowly. She kitten licked his tip until fully putting his length in her mouth. She closed her eyes moaning around his cock. She hasn’t gotten the chance to suck him off in forever and god did she miss it.

Micheal whined at the sight of his girlfriend going down on him. Normally he goes down on her first but he did miss her ungodly mouth. It made things worse that she was rubbing herself through her panties.

“Take those off. I wanna see you play with your pretty pussy.” He motioned.

She nodded and threw them across the room, startling Southy, who ran out of the room towards Luke and Sierra’s where Sadie was. Moose was somewhere in Ashton’s room since she wasn’t a big fan of Calum.

She pulled back slightly as she started to gag, drool and faint mascara tears in her eyes as she kissed around his length and slipped him back in her mouth, determined to make him cum.

She bobbed her head a bit faster as his abdomen tightened. Knowing he was close he pulled her face back slightly.

“Fuck let me come on your tits please.” He groaned making her nod. She slipped his length out of her mouth and widened her eyes making her look more innocent as he jerked his length as she felt the sticky substance fall on her boobs.

Micheal picked her up and laid her across the bed with him over her. “Fuck, that was amazing baby.”

“Well I finally got to suck you off after months of waiting for you to say yes.” She giggled, obviously still stuck in his post orgasm haze.

“Not my fault your pussy is incredible.”

She leaned up to kiss him as she jutted her hips into his.

“Someone’s needy.” He teased making her whine.

“Mikey please.” She said spreading her legs, showing her glistening arsoual.

He lined himself up with her and pushed all the way until he was balls deep almost. Waiting for her nod of approval, he started moving slowly in and out of her. His thrusts were small and rapid as he buried her head in his neck, speeding up his thrusts.

“Oh shit.” She moaned out, not caring who heard her.

“That feels good huh? My thick cock in this little tight pussy.”

Kalani moaned in response and clawed at his back. One hand was next her head while the other was on her hip holding him up so he wouldn’t squish her.

His hand traveled down to her swollen clit as he rubbed it in slow circles making her jerk.

“Mikey I’m so close.” She moaned into his shoulder. Her nails gripping his back leaving little crescent moons.

“You wanna come for me lovie?” He grunted, watching her face contort into pleasure as she came undone as her walls clenched uncontrollably against his throbbing cock. “That’s it baby.”

“Kalani fuck.” He moaned out as his thrust came to a complete halt as he came inside her. Their heavy breathing and the smell of sex lingering in the room. He pulled out of her giving her forehead a gentle kiss. “I’ll be right back.”

She rolled over as she heard the water being turned on quickly and his hand tapping her thighs open so he could drag the warm washcloth cleaning her gently. He reached her clit that was still puffy as she whined from overstimulation. “I know baby, you did so good though.”

He dug in his bag pulling out a muscle tee and leaving her pantie less due to her still clenching around nothing.

Climbing into bed he pulled her close to his chest as she was already dozing off to his whispers of sweet nothings until they heard a voice.

“God damn y’all are so loud! Some of us are trying to sleep.” Calum’s voice rang throughout the house. “You also owe me and Roy 20 bucks.”

“I did not consent to that!” Roy argued back.

Kalani groaned in embarrassment as Micheal rolled his eyes in annoyance. “I’m gonna kill them both tomorrow.” He whispered.

“Yes tomorrow but right now we need sleep. Don’t kill Roy though, Cal’s probably messing with you. Roy’s too nice for that.” Kalani said as she disappeared into a deep sleep.

[jumpscaregoose]

hello wonderful mutual, may i inquire what shaman king is?

you've triggered an unskippable cutscene be prepared. was it me calling hana kentacoded that did it for you

shaman king is uh... certainly something

editor's note I go on about the history of the shaman king media franchise for like. way too long and I'm not deleting it so. plot summary starts after the flowers anime image

it started out as a shonen adventure manga created by a mangaka named hiroyuki takei which ran from 1998 to 2004, where it somehow Ate Shit And Died, leaving the manga ending unfinished somehow (idk I wasn't there)

it got its first anime adaptation in 2001

this anime had 64 episodes and covered a complete story. hey goose but if it aired in 2001 and the manga ate shit in 2004 how did they- they didn't. they made shit up. remember kanata dying on the cross? take that extend it to cover half the story and make it FUCKING AWESOME

shaman king 2001 has this impeccable Vibe to it that I really love (the only other thing I can think of with similar impeccable Vibes is sk8). a lot of fans prefer this anime to the manga and I can't blame them it sure has its perks. it also has its downsides. which is mostly terrible dated character designs and diverging from the manga if you're not into that.

I love this show though this is what I rewatch when I want any old shaman king in my spare time

but what's this? a whisper on the wind? that's right baby

SHAMAN KING KANZENBAN MANGA

that's right- between 2008 and 2009 the entire manga was reprinted to get its "true ending", including redraws of some panels

later in 2012 BAM SHAMAN KING FLOWERS

yes there's a full mainline sequel. flowers itself ended in 2014 when the magazine it was in Ate Shit and Died. the story was continued in another manga, The Super Star, before last year the magazine publishing TSS, say it with me now,

Ate Shit and Died (yeah Takei has real bad luck with that)

and then, just a few years ago...

BAM SHAMAN KING 2021 REBOOT ANIME

finally, an anime adaptation of the kanzenban manga, true ending including... this is where I show up. finally! I needed something to watch on a long car ride in august 2021 and happened to download the first eight episodes on netflix, a decision which would have no repercussions on my life philosophies or me as a person (lies)

there are pretty mixed feelings about this anime overall (the pacing goes fucking BRRRRRRR that's for sure) but I can credit that thing with getting me into shaman king and restructuring my brain so it has a special place in my heart

(it's also what I first get people to watch when they agree to shaman king with me. you should really read kanzenban instead because it's better)

lastly there's the flowers anime airing right now

(yay excitingggggg)

and like. soooooo many more sequel prequel and spinoff manga. and also all of takei's works (I'm planning to read ultimo soon because someone said that's where the spirit based on the vermilion bird came from and that has a common ancestor with allen sugasano so I'm going) oh shit and funkuro/funbari chronicles the mobile game that is either closed or on its way out. and so much more

I'm not going to explain every one of them because I realized you probably wanted. a plot summary. so

copy pasted from my mankin slideshow:

"laid-back Asakura Yoh is a shaman, someone with a connection to the afterlife. He participates in the Shaman Fight, a tournament to determine the next god. Hao, a mysterious and overwhelmingly strong shaman, wants to use the powers gained from becoming a god to wipe out humanity. Shenanigans ensue across multiple continents and the boundaries of life and death."

like I said before it's a shonen adventure manga so it follows a lot of tropes, but I think it does them pretty well and in its own way. if you read through the entire mainline manga (kanzenban, flowers, and tss) it's clear takei has a lot to say through his work and he's pretty explicit about his view of the world (shoutout to evil triangle who invented capitalism)

takei's writing and research can be kinda iffy at times and I would never say his work is for everyone but I love it to bits and it has really helped me out over the years

my personal favourite pieces of shaman king media (besides kanzenban) are:

Red Crimson (spinoff of the main sequels following an adult legacy cast, brilliant story about love and grief except for the Horrors)

& a Garden (prequel spinoff about the hanagumi witches, side characters from the first manga)

2001 anime (explained this one already)

if this has interested you go read the kanzenban manga and then come back for sequel recommendations

need more information? I got you

my beginner's shaman king slideshow (if you're reading this within an hour of posting you might see me updating it dw about that)

the patch cafe fansite which has up to date news about the entire series

there's also the funbari hill discord's tumblr account, which reblogs a lot of great shaman king stuff. everyone there is lovely and it's a great community (it's actually run by a mutual of mine hi frost 👋)

I ALMOST FORGOT THE SEQUELS FANSITE WHOOPS (run by an incredible artist and has some fun information about the sequels)

please tell me if you want clarification or more specifics I'm bad at explaining this concisely

[barramundi]

my twilight princess journey: enemies to lovers apparently

A few days ago I beat the legend of zelda: twilight princess for the first time ever!! and man...... i am not okay (positive)

I've always been a HUGE zelda fan, ever since I was a little kid. i literally can't remember a time I didn't have zelda in my life. so much i used to spend all day long playing majora's mask with my older sibling and i remember how i knew there were other zelda games but i thought all of them would look like oot/mm... and then twilight princess was announced. and i thought that was the most beautiful game I had ever seen. i fell in love with midna and i thought link was just so handsome and cool... unfortunately i never owned a gamecube and apparently my sibling was not really interested in twilight princess, so... time went by and i never had the chance to play it.

and then, back in 2012, 10 years late, 14 year old me heard of the wind waker for the first time. i immediately fell in love with the art and i HAD to play that game. i owned a Wii at the time and i remember feeling disappointed realizing WW was for the gamecube but then FEELING EXCITED REALIZING THE WII COULD PLAY GAMECUBE GAMES. i fought really hard to be able to play the wind waker. and i did!!! i played it way too much probably. i always say it's at least my top 2 zelda. sometimes even top 1, only losing to majora's mask.

and twilight princess remained unnoticed........ until I noticed it... negatively

back in the day people used to hate a lot on the wind waker because of the graphics and art style. and what they would compare it to to say the graphics sucked?? twilight princess. "TP good dark mature awesome!!! WW bad stupid kiddy game!!" UGH i was outraged. i had to stand up for my favorite game!!! before i even noticed, i already hated twilight princess.

i had some (bad) reasons like being under the impression that TP was trying way too hard to be dark and gritty and realistic and that it took itself so seriously it made it look stupid. and i would compare it to majora's mask's effortlessness in creating a depressing but beautiful atmosphere without having to be visually dark. "TP wants to be MM soooo bad it's embarrassing hihihi!!!" oh shut up you never played it, weirdo!!!!

anyways, fast forward to may 2023. nintendo releases tears of the kingdom and with it apparently the end of the old zelda format. i was so devastated and sad... ever since botw, i was hoping for a new old-fashioned zelda game; and now it would never come... but still i was longing to play a zelda game. i wanted to GET THROUGH DUNGEONS, SOLVE PUZZLES, DO COOL SIDEQUESTS FOR FUNNY CHARACTERS!!! but i didn't want to play the ones I had already played again... i wanted something new... but what!!!

i looked at twilight princess, twilight princess looked at me.... i thought "welp... i guess I wouldn't be able to run from you forever". and off i went to hyrule... or rather, to ordon village

at first I was sincerely shocked by how much TP felt like the wind waker. same engine, similar combat (but greatly improved), same sound effects, the yellow rupee... i was jokingly saying it was the wind waker's evil twin lmao

when i got to the first dungeon, it finally hit me: through all these years, what the FUCK did I think twilight princess was gonna be other than... *SHOCK*... A NORMAL ZELDA GAME?????

A VERY GOOD ZELDA GAME???? T-THE BEST ONE????

remember all that talk about trying way too hard to be dark and gritty?? dude. what the fuck. this game is fucking adorable. midna is SO cool in a sweet way, the songs are great and honestly this is my favorite link ever. i always looked at him being marketed as a MANLY MAN THE MOST AGGRESSIVE REALISTIC LINK GGRRRR LOOK AT HOW DEEP HIS VOICE IS!!!! reality: he is the cutest link. literally the cutest most adorable link. bless him forever. i want to hug him so bad............. i am going to pass out (positive)

also midna and zelda. they are dating.

so yeah, there i was having an absolute blast with this game. it has the best dungeons I've ever seen. (except for lakebed temple. i hate lakebed temple. good thing arbiter's grounds is the best dungeon in the entire franchise.)

anyways I got to temple of time and then my PC fucking gave up and i had to go get it fixed; i lost all my progress and cried myself to sleep but then i pulled myself together and went through it all over again. and i would do it again. because i love this game. i finally beat it 5 days ago and i can't stop thinking about it. might just as well start another run honestly

twilight princess has now surpassed most zelda games I've played and is comfortably sitting under majora's mask and the wind waker as my 3rd favorite zelda game. but there is a twist: i haven't played MM and WW in years and i kinda needed to play them again just to confirm or change my ranking. the problem is that i just don't feel like playing them. 'cause i just want to play twilight princess!!!

so yeah, with a new personal record of 17 years of delay, it still feels kinda weird to say that twilight princess might just be my favorite zelda game ever. 🙏

that's it bye

[friendly-neighborhood-gambler]

Rant/vent incoming

TL;DR Cephalopod women changed my life

So, Splatoon. It’s a game. About kids, who become squids. You know this shit. But the fact is, it’s so much more than that. The characters have in-depth relations and incredible personalities, and every single time they speak it makes me feel emotions like they’re meant to be felt.

For most of my life, I’ve been emotionally unavailable, typically being stone-faced or hiding behind exaggerated energy. And it really took a toll on me, to the point where I would resort to self-violence if I showed any form of emotion other than joy outside of a private space. And so many people knew me as this energetic bitch, who was pretty smart but probably Special Ed in some way.

Then 2014 rolled around. My grandpa had a Wii U, and although he didn’t get Splatoon itself, I still found a way to play it. Don’t entirely remember how, but I did. And that shit? That shit changed my view. Not the way I acted, but my life was different, and I didn’t know just how much. It all started with something simple:

A crush on Marie.

At the time, it seemed like yet another of my pathetic, short term mindsets that would fade away the instant I saw someone else. But no. This squid lady stuck with me, and is still with me to this day, to the point where most relationships I’ve had or strived toward were built off of a direct comparison between the other person and Marie.

And the story behind her and her cousin kept me within an arm’s reach of the series, constantly getting pulled back in by the gameplay and lore. And when Splatoon 2 came out?

DEAR. LORD.

LOOK AT THESE TWO AND TELL ME THAT THEY AREN’T A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF WHAT A NERDY LESBIAN CAN ASPIRE TO BE!!!

I used to look at Marina like the rest of the community did: w a h m a n

But as I look at her again, especially with Side Order and Octo Expansion, I see just how much I missed by skipping over the smaller details. And I’ll say one thing, just one more about her:

I would stay up for EVER rambling back and forth with Marina. Me and her? We could occupy each other for so long with just snacks and ranting…

And Pearl? She’s just SO COOL! I never looked at her as “big forehead bitch”, in fact the larger forehead had me feel kind of comforted since I felt like I had a pretty unnatural face. (I more just felt that way because I didn’t know I was trans yet) Even still, she’s such a comical character who can play both sides of the conversation depending on how Marina’s feeling, being both calm and serious and energetic and rowdy.

And then came Splatoon 3.

And oh. Boy. You already know what I’m gonna sa-

FRYE ATTACK!!!!

I LOVE THIS WOMAN. She is my everything, and if I could, I would legally marry her the instant I turn a legal age.

Call me weird all you’d like, but I get butterflies in my stomach whenever she calls my name during splatfests. I got my Frye amiibo, put her next to my bed, and I fell asleep staring into her eyes. I GOT BACK INTO WRITING JUST SO I CAN MAKE AN OC X FRYE FANFICTION!!!!

And Shiver? Not my favorite, but God do I love them regardless.

They’re snarky, sarcastic, and (in my headcanon) nonbinary. And they fit so well in the trio of Deep Cut. The three of them just make me so happy, even if they lack a bit of personality when they’re all together.

And, uh… the agents.

Yeah, the agents.

Captain 3? Her development is so neat, and her outfit is so awesome!

Agent 4? Don’t know much about him, but he comes from Splatoon 2 story mode so he must be cool.

Neo 3? I think the concept of someone getting recruited by Racist Fish, falling into an abandoned base for humans, taking treasure on accident and saving the world IN SPACE is epic.

And Agent 8… where do I start?

First off, the modes where you play as her are so cool! Octo Expansion is such a neat idea, and turning Splatoon into a roguelike on Side Order is SO DAMN COOL.

Secondly, her design? The FIRST OCTOLING most people played as? THE FIRST OCTOLING THAT WASN’T EVIL???? And the lore implications that she’s the way she is because of Calamari Inkantation????? Sorry, that’s just SO COOL.

Rant over now, long story short I have several sea-life wives

[mekatrio]

ok let me list down the most slayest issues for my self reference

issue 3 - adaptation of og teen titans cyborg plotline which is slay

issue 7 - starfire's race w blackfire, always slay when she's here

issue 9:

issue 10: aqualad issue!! i love the issues with the titans east members very much (≧∇≦)

issue 11: terra centric issue :D

issue 12: Extremely good mr mumbo issue that breaks the 4th wall and plays w the comic book medium! very very fun

issue 14: speedy centric 😎

issue 15: kwiz kid, kitten, and killer moth are very fun here hehe

issue 18: VERY GOOD issue with more 4th wall breaking, this time with a particular focus on the chibis!! this issue is so great 😭

issue 20: injustice the video game issue

issue 24: SUPER EPIC AWESOME ISSUE featuring a powerswap!!! has this gem:

issue 28: beast boy backstory 🥺 soooo so cute

issue 30: issue with the EXTREMELYYYY GORGEOUS ART.... like oh my godd the linework and coloring in the first section is so amazing, and the environmental design of the second section is just incredible!!!!

im so sad there were done by guest artists bc i would have loved more issues in these artstyles.... T_T

issue 31: the issue with the time paradox that broke poor 15 year old me's brain 😭 also hi nightwing

issue 34: very cute crossover issue where kid flash races mas y menos :3 also on a sidenote i love how kid flash looks in tt2003's artstyle, its so nice for a character to have robin's proportions but not his face as well (speedy, kwiz kid, etc...)

issue 36: DONNA TROY ISSUE AKA BEST ISSUE IN THE WORLD!!! also just a big ol homage to the Original original teen titans which is just great (not wolfman's titans, the OG ones)

issue 37: extremely adorable christmas issue 🥺

issue 39: very cute and fun valentine's day issue, also DONNA TROY APPEARANCE YIPEEEEEE

issue 40: the first section is a very fun villain pov plotline.... and the second is.... thunder and lightning. ok. at least it has nice guest art tho

issue 41: Epic girl-centric girlboss issue

issue 43: has this MASTERPIECE of a cover... i remember it being my phone background as a kid 😭

issue 44: a well written raven centric issue where she willingly chooses to keep the part of her that is trigon 🥺

issue 45: beast boy and cyborg origins! featuring a justice league cameo lmao

issue 46: oh these last few issues are extremely good.... starfire's long lost brother + blackfire closure! this one really shouldve been its own episode

also baby starfire is so cute T_T

issue 47: very sad robin backstory angst.... featuring a gross batman cameo lmfao

issue 48: SUPERRRR good issue omfg, features an atlernate universe where the titans are evil, its so so great and fun. the alt universe designs are soooo good. also this page itself is amazing

issue 49: issue with slade the fucking loser, and also rose!!! extremely slay.

issue 50: another fun crossover issue with THIS masterpiece of a cover 😭

(nauck's pencils and stucker's inking is just so incredible 😭😭😭)

issue 51: yeah man these last few issues are really just storylines that shouldve been episodes but they couldnt afford to adapt into episodes. its alright tho bc at least they are comics! anyways, terra centric! another long lost sibling episode, and proper closure on terra's storyline <3

issue 53: cute bb flashback story.... and some kid flash and jynx closure :3

issue 54: talk about a last fucking minute appearance.... anyway i love the interaction between the two wonder girls so much. so so fun and i wish it was animated

issue 55: AWIFJFIOSOFPEPSLKLF,/S33/2 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[retphienix]

I'm genuinely surprised that in the past couple years they didn't make the new thing Umbras.

I was CERTAIN that was gonna be the new thing circa 2019 a year into having Excal Umbra available.

Like I know various things have been said by DE, I don't care, when Umbra happened I thought "Oh cool! 100% in a few years this will be the new thing. Primes have the stats, and Umbra has the sentient gimmick, easy."

So to take a break and come back and Umbras still be non-existent was a surprise, not gonna lie.

Tbh, I don't really mind. My main assumption on Umbras was that it would be how DE dished out more lore on all the frames seeing as Excal got a LOT of expanded story from his Umbra. Assigning a "face" to each frame through Umbra stories seemed like a no-brainer to me, and I do still think that is vastly more impactful than the leverian solution we have currently.

Buuuut- back then I was certain Umbras would happen and I WANTED it to happen, now I kinda don't really care tbh lol.

Story would be awesome, sincerely would love that. But most of why I wanted more Umbras was because I thought the Umbra Sentient gimmick was the coolest thing in the world, but the more time I've put into the game the less interested I am because if you were to tell me tomorrow to spend more time running around with my amp while my frame plays with my cool abilities and weapons all by itself I'd tell you to go farm some ferrite.

Playing as your operator/drifter is boring as all hell- the customization and gameplay options available to them are kinda shit. You've got focus trees, but you can only be one on a mission so a lot of that doesn't matter to the gameplay experience beyond waybounds. You've got arcanes, but very few matter and most are just kinda... really bad. And Amps, which are boring as shit. No mods, no weapon variance since amps are pretty homogenized, no melee, not much really.

Meanwhile frame builds are as varied as can be!

So until the out-of-frame experience is improved, I don't really care about more umbras because the excitement at having a beefed specter is dampened when I remember I have to play as my void OC who's options are basically "shoot or cc (in various ways depending on school)" yeah real fun lol.

[jestbee]

I posted 1,075 times in 2022

That's 380 more posts than 2021!

589 posts created (55%)

486 posts reblogged (45%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@lostinmcyt

@masterbaited

@jestbee

@alittledizzy

@scoops404

I tagged 938 of my posts in 2022

Only 13% of my posts had no tags

#mc - 598 posts

#jane answers - 231 posts

#dnf - 170 posts

#dream - 96 posts

#dnp - 81 posts

#gnf - 56 posts

#atsoop - 42 posts

#dnf fic - 41 posts

#dreamnotfound - 38 posts

#dteam - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#dream was like here is where u dud an awesome play and fished some pearls and george was like yeah well here is where i died multiple times

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I choose to believe they're getting the entire howell-lester clan together for Xmas, somehow I think Adrian and Cornelia might get along?

80 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

#4

Oh noo hope you feel better soon and it heals fast!!

I'm thinking about sapnap. How devoted he is to them, how much he loves them. He moved to dream and drove from Texas to Florida with one day notice and when George said he was lonely in London, the next day he renewed his visa :(( they all have such a strong bond, they choose eachother over anything else..

Sapnap is ride or die. Dream once said the thing he loves most about Sapnap is that he "has never once doubted that Sapnap is [his] boy and will have his back through anything". And you can see it.

Like, however much Sapnap and George have a sibling-like rivalry, Sapnap would go to war for George if he asked. (And he might, knowing George).

He was "just the cameraman for now" and made sure George and Dream were both okay during their meeting and was happy to take a back seat and that in itself is fucking amazing.

And it's not just dteam. He and Karl have a tax that if you cross one you pay the price of having crossed the other by default. He defends his fans in valo lobbies when people try to talk shit. Hes allowed to rio the shit out of his friends but if anyone else tries it he'll kill them with a glance. Heck, even for all the ways he has a tendency to get caught up in trying to seem cool, he's never once rolled over on his friends or what they do and the game they play even when it would have been easier to do so.

Sapnap is ride or fucking die.

83 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

#3

i like how phil sits next to dan when they eat rather than across from him

If I had Phil Lester in the house I'd sit next to him too

104 notes - Posted June 11, 2022

#2

I cannot shut up about how Dan was in that video. Like, it had such good vibes. Relaxed, mature, comfortable?

The persona as we know it was gone, remember when he seemed so angry all the time? It's just so so sooooo nice to see him happy and proud of a thing.

After everything he's been through to come out the other side like that. You love to see it

189 notes - Posted May 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

All the sunlight of our past (COMPLETE)

Phan, E

Tags: Exes to lovers, canon divergence, secret identity

Summary:

YouTube is a mess.

Phil's been struggling with it for a while and has just taken a job as a video editor to make ends meet while he figures out whether he still loves it anymore.

Dan's channel has been dead ever since he started working at BBC Radio One and the two haven't seen each other in years.

During a chance meeting in 2019, Dan gets papped coming out of a gay club and his life is sent in to turmoil. He blames Phil, because it had been his idea to go there in the first place, so they're straight back to not talking.

The only recourse Dan has to salvage his career is to return to his YouTube channel after all these years and make a coming out video on his own terms. What he doesn't know is that Phil is the editor he just hired to help him with it.

Notes:

Written for @oldschoolpbb with accompanying art by @snekydingdong

[Read on ao3]

195 notes - Posted May 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[stelladess]

Finishing up the tournament arc on the Luofu, so my thoughts on the 2.4-2.5 story....

Overall the trailblaze continuance here was the weakest one so far. It has some good high points but overall it was kind of a mess with it really feeling like it should have had one more look over it. The two bigger story events were both good and Id rather not talk about a certain two events in 2.4 involving an over used joke.... spoilers ahead!

The main trio all get some nice moments even if it feels odd how little in focus they are, Dan Heng confronting preceptor Taoran for example is a great scene, but it felt odd it had not really been set up before. And by that I literally just mean introduced Taoran earlier to set him up as a villain, I mean his unique design makes it clear to me he will appear again but still.

My issues has nothing to do with our trio of young trailblazers... it has to do with the Xianzhou characters, Jing Yuan only really has his plan succeed because the writers bent reality to make him succeed, how the hell did he manage to swap out every member of the audience with Cloud Knights without tipping off Hoolay when they did not know who was secretly working for Hoolay?

Yunli and Yangqing are both a lot of fun, as is the Yaoqing trio (especially Feixiao). I do not really got any concrete complaints about them... just that it felt like the story did not know if it wanted to be Feixiao´s story or Yangqing´s story. And it kind of failed to be both their story to me? Like Feixiao only really getting focus in 2.5 made it feel a bit out of blue and like we changed tracks completely while Yangqing was put on the shelf until the end where they remembered it was in part his story.

I kind of like that it seems Stelle´s recently swollen ego from Penacony (always big but got even bigger there) might have taken a hit after seeing how awesome Feixiao is. Probably good for her to be brought back down to.... ground? She still brags and claims she´d have crushed Hoolay of course but when Feixiao is around she seems kind of awkward and embarrassed about her boasts.

The March training event was extremely funny and had a very fun presentation, only downside is it got a bit repetitive but that is a minor problem. The Luka coaching event was incredible, not quite up there with the Ghost Hunting Squad but still a very solid event with great character interactions lots of funny jokes and overall good gameplay... with a caveat, it kind of makes it really obvious the overarching issue we have had since about halfway through Penacony of how the only viable team builds are break team or followup attacks. DoT and whatever we call the kind of big damage dealer who charges up like IL Dan Heng or Jingliu have all fallen off hard. But that is not the event itself that is to blame but the current gamestate, which I do think needs to be fixed.

I really like the part at the end where they take farewell to the delegations from the other ships, lots of fun interactions, Dan Heng at first feeling compelled to do it but quickly regretting it due to how "oh yeah, social interactions means dealing with PEOPLE", March´s enthusiasm, Stelle bugging the generals about not getting to duel them, Yangqing teasing Yunli over how he got the victory sword in the end before the two decide to meet up again... then Fu Xuan showing up because turns out they got the wrong dock for where Himeko and Welt would show up while Qingque had accidentally gone to that dock instead is a really funny final scene to end this on.

I do feel like it is a bit absurd Himeko has not really gotten any character development or like... doing anything this far into the game still but that is more of a wider issue and not here specifically, I do not mind how Himeko and Welt just missed everything this time specifically and it is a pretty funny note to end on.

Overall I had a good time on this return to the Luofu, even if the bigger story quests were a bit of a mess. But for the most part it is good.

[toneyowen]

Terminus (1987)

Truly a masterpeice of shit. It rules. German-Fremch schlockhouse rip off of a about a hundred different thing, lemme run em down:

Knight Rider if Kit could suck you off with his human mouth.

I legit could stop right here

an annoying kid who is the best video game boy but the moral is that the only winning move is unplugging your brothers controller

some evil German doctors who got into the dress up chest

Mad max bus that looks almost exactly like the Winnebago in spaceballs

At one point the bus is going off a jump and the computer says "ooooooh SHIIIIIIT!!!"

Karen Allen is the protagonist for the first half then dies in the lamest way and is replaced by French rockstar Johnny Hallyday. I don't remember how or why that happened but I do know his kids contested his will because in France it's illegal to disinherit your children. Also he covered itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini but in french so it's called Itsy Bitsy Petit Bikini off the record Inoubliable Johnny Hallyday

Johnny Hallyday has the robot arm from ToTK

Good shit: nasty practical effects, supoib costumes (half Mad Max, half Logans Run), incomprehensible plot, and a very confusing dashboard Siri who is funny and hip half the time, but then gets real sulky and uses a dumbass robot voice. I think they recast the robot and did a bunch of ADR because the movie was boring as hell when it was just silent driving punctuated by boring robot voice. The van mouth is worth the price of a mission.

Oh yeah it was also like Speed.

The part I hated most was when the movie itself was at it's terminus!!! Also the mutant clone kids with pneumatic codpieces covering their shame and presumably drinking the piss away so their gennies ain't get pisslogged and shitlogged. The director mustve been all uhh yeah, this is movies and art and I actually really LIKE it.

MUSIC

Soundtrack also sucked so bad but was actually good as hell.

"I toss the dice and skin the cat/and I always pay the fine

So we'll settle up even-steven/when we reach the end of the line"

You skin the cat, you pay the fine

Terminus of the review

RATING:

I give Terminus a...

👄👄👄/🧱🧱🧱🧱 🚐🚐

3 gross mouths out of 4 brick walls getting crashed thru by 2 wasteland busses

One sentence review: Terminus sucked shit but was actually pretty awesome

~~•=•~~ This has been Toney Owen's™ Own™ Opinion Zone™ ~~•=•~~

And as we always say here in the TOOOZ...

" Opinions are like assholes, mine is the correct one."

—a quote by toney Owen

[grahamstoney]

The Voices Inside My Head

New Post has been published on https://grahamstoney.com/mindset/the-voices-inside-head

The Voices Inside My Head

Graham: I have a confession to make: there are these two voices in my head, vying for my attention all the time. I think I’ll make a video about them for my YouTube channel.

Love: Oh cool, that sounds awesome! Everyone has voices in their head; so many people will relate. This video, is going viral!

Fear: Nobody will watch it.

Love: It’ll be great… we’ll do it backwards!

Fear: It’s been done: Eternal Sunshine?

Love: It’ll have multiple layers!

Fear: Such a cliché. Inception?

Love: It’ll be hilarious… like, self-referential and everything.

Fear: Unoriginal. Being John Malcovich?

Love: It’ll even poke fun at itself!

Fear: Like Woody Allen’s early work?

Love: We could even do a trilogy!

Fear: The Matrix? Star Wars? Hitchhikers’? Harry Potter…

Graham: They never let up. Let me introduce them to you:

Love: I’m the voice of love! When you listen to me, anything is possible! Life is one big, exciting adventure just filled to the brim with fun, new possibilities every single day.

Fear: I’m the voice of fear! It’s my job to make sure that a dumb-ass like you doesn’t do anything dangerous or stupid, like having too much fun.

Graham: These guys are always arguing. Weighing in on everything I do.

Fear: Why bother even making this video, if nobody’s going to watch it?

Love: Well why bother making anything?

Fear: Good point! You’re probably just going to embarrass yourself anyway.

Love: At least he’s contributing. What do you contribute to the world?

Fear: Safety and security.

Love: Bullshit… more like anxiety and paranoia, if you ask me.

Graham: They have very different perspectives on life and how to live it.

Love: Life is a game! A big, fun, exciting game where you discover the rules for yourself as you go along.

Fear: No it’s not. Life is about following other people’s rules. Don’t you remember: trust and obey, for there’s no other way. Hmmm… that’s kinda catchy; I think I could set that to music… help condition young minds into life-long subservience.

Love: Subservience? Huh! Trust yourself, I say. Your intuition knows what to do, deep down. It’s way more fun to live life according to your own rules.

Graham: They tell me different things about myself too:

Love: You’re a creative genius!

Fear: Creative genius my ass. You made a movie about your Big Toe, for fucks sake!

Love: Hey, it got listed on IMDB!

Fear: So did Waterworld.

Graham: They just see everything differently:

Fear: There’s not enough to go around! You’re going to miss out if you’re not careful!

Love: Life is abundant: There’s plenty for everyone.

Fear: Don’t risk it, or you’ll fuck it up.

Love: It’s good to take risks. Making mistakes is just part of the learning process.

Fear: What??? Mistakes are shameful! You’ll embarrass your mother.

Love: It’s not your job to keep your mother happy; that’s her job.

Fear: I’ll punish you if you get anything wrong.

Love: I think rewarding him for his successes would be a better approach.

Fear: If at first you don’t succeed… you’re a failure!

Love: There’s no such thing as failure; you either get what you want, or you learn something that helps you get it next time around.

Fear: Epic… fail! You… are going straight to hell.

Love: Hell only exists in the minds of people conditioned by fear. I only believe in heaven, and heaven is here right now.

Fear: God will punish you!

Love: God is love, dude! Even the bible says so.

Graham: Alright! Time-out! Time-out. We’re not here for a theological debate.

Graham: Anyway, between them, these guys pretty much run the show. For instance, when I see a beautiful woman, I think:

Love: Oh cool! Let’s go talk to her… let’s go have some fun, find out what she’s like.

Fear: She’s not going to want to talk to you! What the hell are you thinking?

Love: Yeah well, not if you turn up with that attitude.

Fear: Pretty girls hate you.

Love: What??? No they don’t!

Fear: Remember primary school?

Love: That was years ago. Anyway, it wasn’t his fault he inherited poor communication skills. He just didn’t know how to talk to them back then.

Fear: You’re an asshole.

Love: He’s not an asshole, you’re a great guy!

Fear: They still hate you.

Love: Shut the fuck up. I can be the voice of tough love too, you know.

Graham: I might not be able to get them to stop arguing, but I can choose who I want to listen to; and that makes a big difference to how my life goes. So I’ve decided to spend more time listening to this guy:

Love: You have chosen… wisely.

Graham: And to turn down the volume on this reject:

Fear: What do you mean turn down the volume? You can’t turn down the volume on me! Hey! What the… Bring me back! Listen to me! I’m the one running this show. You can’t…. aaaaaaahhhhhh.

[finniestoncrane]

hello could you do a smut with batman unburried riddler. i love him so much

that would be awesome thanks <3

Baby Girl Driver

Batman Unburied!Riddler x Female!Reader, word count: 2.1k AH i am so excited to do a bu riddler for the first time on his own, and i hope i do him justice. also i'm sorry for the graphic ;-; i don't know how to make a better one and i just love hasan's lil face baby girl, you're so off-putting and irritating, and i love you more than life itself, welcome to the club bu riddler i'm sorry for the thoughts i've had about you and the things i'm about to write you into doing 💚 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi minors DNI!! 🔞 cw for nsfw stuff: language, fingering

For an entire week you’d been designated driver to the world’s most irritating passenger. But Barbara Gordon had sworn by Edward Nygma’s ability to assist in an investigation of this calibre, and to her credit he had been helpful. When he wasn’t being intensely annoying. Or sarcastic. Or hindering your every effort to solve this quickly. In fact, you were sure he was purposefully trying to elongate the time you’d have to spend together, likely an attempt to avoid going back to Arkham.

“Fuck. I have to pee again.”

“God, Nygma, we just stopped.”

“That was for snackies!”

“And you didn’t think to go then?”

“Well, I was using my time trying to decide what snack I was allowed within my ridiculous budget. And then you yelled at me. So I didn’t think I had time for luxuries such as pissing.”

You rolled your eyes, switching focus back to the road.

“Am I to sit back here and fucking hold it in?”

“Jesus Christ! Alright!”

Pulling over to the side of the road, you both sat in silence, drumming your fingers against the steering wheel.

“Are you gonna-”

“You have to open the door.”

“I swear to…”

Slamming your own door behind you, you made your way around the squad car to the passenger door. He had insisted on riding in the backseat. ‘Like a ride-along. Like you’re my driver.’ It was nice to know he was locked in and couldn’t run, though you knew he wouldn’t. But still, it felt almost degrading to have him locked in there. And yet oddly enough, not degrading for him, but for you. Opening his door, you tensed up at the little curtsy he offered as he scampered into the woods.

“Don’t go too far.”

“If you want to watch me piss, you can just ask! I live in an asylum, remember, it might actually make me feel like I’m at home to have someone staring at me.”

“Please just hurry up.”

"Hey, you're lucky!" He looked back and raised his eyebrows at you, lips curling up in one of his nasty, but weirdly adorable, smiles. "At least I'm not cuffed. Otherwise, you'd have to hold it for me."

"Wow, lucky for us all."

"Yeah, it's a two-hander, baby!" Finger guns aimed at you, he turned at your stoic expression with a huff and disappeared behind a bush. After a few minutes, he trudged back to the car, waiting on you to open the door.

“Are you kidding me?”

“Ooh, someone’s grumpy today!” He flashed a wide grin at you as he opened the door and plopped down on the seat. Closing it hard on him, you got back behind the wheel and peeled out onto the empty stretch of road.

“So…wanna play a game?”

“Absolutely not.”

“You are absolutely no fun whatsoever. How does your poor boyfriend cope?”

“I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Interesting.”

You waited silently for a cruel remark, or a joke, but it never came. Instead, he leaned forward, fingers poking through the holes in the barrier between front and back, speaking hurriedly.

“Oh! Down that road, turn turn turn! Now!”

“For the love of…fuck!”

The wheels slipped and spun as you made the sharp corner at way too high a speed, finally managing to get back in a straight line, breathing heavily.

“Good for the adrenal glands.”

“You couldn’t have said something a little sooner.”

“I was distracted.”

At the end of the road, there was a small building, one floor. You took the car off the road and behind some bushes, able to see the house and a section of the road you had just been on, but hidden well enough.

“Stake out time!” From the backseat, he finally piped up, annoyingly excited, opening the snacks he had demanded earlier. “You coming back here to join me?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Well, how will I share my snacks with you.”

“I don’t want any.”

“Aw, come on! It’ll be fun, like we’re proper cops!”

“I am a proper cop.”

“Oh, yeah…right. And I’m completely sane.”

“Nygma-”

“Fine, fine. But I have a better view of the entrance from back here. Nice little gap in the trees. Would be a shame if I was too busy burying my face in to my little snackies and missed something.”

“This is a fucking nightmare.” You mumbled it to yourself, before unbuckling your seat belt and shouting. “Fine!” You exited the car, opening the back door where he patted the seat beside him with a vicious little sneer. When you were seated beside him, he thrust the little bag of food under your nose. “No thank you.”

For two hours you sat there, trying to ignore Edward Nygma’s questioning, all of it unrelated to the case you were working on. In fact, since mid-way through the first week of his assistance, he’d seemed entirely uninterested and not as invested in the work as Barbara had insisted he would be. You were beginning to think this was a huge mistake. Although, admittedly, he was fun to be around. Your usual partner was a bit more ‘by the book’ and wasn’t willing to socialise outside of the job. You barely knew anything about him other than his name and the fact that he had been married but ‘for the love of god don’t call her if I’m hurt.’

Nygma was different though. He was strangely open, although you suspected that was a ploy to learn your weaknesses, so you kept a lot in. About himself though, he was more than willing to talk, he was his favourite subject, other than riddles. And thankfully, today, he hadn’t forced any of his riddles on you, not yet at least.

And for the next hour, there was relative silence, other than the incessant crunching from Eddie eating his ‘snackies’. You watched patiently as several cars pulled up from the main road, all stopping outside of the house and waiting. Three of them were there now, and as a fourth pulled up, they all exited their vehicles.

“You watching this, Nygma?”

“Huh…oh yeah! Uh…yeah, seems about right.”

“Ok so who are they!?”

“Oh…so the one that got out of that car there, he’s the uh…leader.”

“The leader? Of what?”

“Of the thing, you know!”

“We’ve been sitting in this car for three hours. You haven’t mentioned a thing. We’ve been working on this case together for three weeks. You haven’t mentioned a leader. What is going on and why are we here?”

“Ok…promise not to get mad?”

“You fucker. You mother fucker!”

“Wait, wait! Before you get mad. I think it’s important for you to take into account that I haven’t told a single riddle today.” He looked at you with raised eyebrows, but you raised your hand and started smacking at his arm and head regardless.

“I have been driving you around for three weeks, at what point were you going to tell me that you had no idea what was going on with this case, asshole?”

“Please stop hitting me I have solved it, all the paperwork is in the trunk in a neat little folder waiting for you to hand it in and take the credit!”

“What!?”

“I’ve…done it all. I knew after like the fifth day. I didn’t think I’d have to spoon feed the answer to you. But to be fair, I have had to be very forgiving with the answers to my riddles.”

A shiver went up your spine. Pure rage. You resisted the urge to punch him, but it was only with every ounce of your being that you managed to stifle the gut reaction. But you kept slapping at him.

“Well why are we still investigating!?”

“Because!”

“Because isn’t a sentence, fuck face!”

“Because I wanted to spend more time with you!”

You hit him even harder, and he jumped back with a petulant little frown.

“Ok, that one hurt.”

“Good! What do you mean? You didn’t want to go back to your cell?”

“No…because I liked hanging out with you.”

“Oh, Edward. At least save me the embarrassment of trying to trick me into thinking this was anything but a selfish little ploy to escape.”

“I mean, I am going to escape, duh. But not yet. I’m having fun.”

“Fun?”

“Yep.”

“What do you mean by ‘fun’?”

“What the fuck do you think I mean by fucking fun?”

You leant back in the chair, head tilted horizontally, trying to understand his words, his motives. Were you going completely insane? It would be one thing to admit to enjoying spending time with him, he had nothing to gain from that. But to begin believing that he had somehow developed a little crush on you was surely a sign that you were mentally unstable. First of all, how could you believe him without knowing you were likely falling for his manipulation tactics? And second of all, if you could admit that you might believe he had a crush on you, then you might also have to face the fact that you had a little bit of a crush on him too.

There was very little time to focus on the little conundrum that was thundering through your mind, as Edward had leaned over in his seat, one arm holding his body up at the angle, the other on your cheek, fingers daring to reach into your hair. His lips, surprisingly soft and interestingly practised, stuck on yours with a pent-up passion, groaning into you. As he pulled back you moved with him before thudding back down into your seat.

“You’re nice to look at and fun to annoy. And I’m nice to look at and fun to be annoyed by, right?”

He didn’t wait for a response, he was leaning back in to you, slowly, eyes never wavering in their gaze, staring deep enough into your very soul that you were no longer sure if you’d even be bothered that he was manipulating you.

“Would it really be so bad if we enjoyed our time together?”

With his lips kissing along your jaw and neck, you managed to mumble out some words, trying to convince yourself more than anyone else that you should let go and sink into this.

“It’s morally…and ethically…mmm….reprehensible…to fraternise with…hmm…prisoners in my…care…god…”

Too late though, because your hands were already running through the hair at the back of his head, pulling him closer into you, moaning in pleasure at the little yelp he made when you bit down on his lip, tugging at it with your teeth, dragging him deeper into the kiss.

Confidently, or arrogantly, you were never sure with him and you didn’t care right now, he began unbuttoning your pants, hands slipping down under the open zipper, fingers rubbing against your folds at the front of your panties.

“Hmm…what’s soft and wet and-”

“You finish that riddle and this ends now.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He winked at you before sliding the fabric to the side, inserting two fingers into you and easing them around, your walls clenching at his dedicated and inquisitive strokes, trying to understand you, to learn what made you moan, what made you grip his forearms.

Pushing his tongue past your lips, he pressed the once gentle kiss into a sloppy make-out session, hungrily lapping at your tongue inside your mouth, all the finesse and restraint of a teenager at a lover’s lane, which you might as well have been, given you were currently being fingered in the back seat of a car.

The sudden realisation of what was happening had the opposite effect to what you thought it might. Instead of being shocked into action, pushing him off and reprimanding him and yourself, you begged him to make you cum, gasping for air, screaming with little to no care of who might hear.

“You’re absolutely filthy, this is a fucking amazing revelation! If I’d known I could have had you this easy, I’d have suggested we fuck at the point of first contact.”

Even at this, with his fingers inside of you, enacting a pleasure on you that you didn’t even think was possible. His digits stroking and pulsing, his thumb pressing against your clit, pressing into it and rubbing from side to side, the way you did it yourself, the way that worked for you, the way he had worked out was what might make you cum. With his lips and tongue and teeth melting into your own to the point where you weren’t sure where your mouth ended and his began. With the cacophony of pleasurable noises you were both making, the moaning, the heavy breathing, the subtle growling. The grinding and grabbing. Even with all of this, he was still managing to be a royal pain in the ass. And that alone was enough to have you cumming around his, his fingers wet with your release, bringing them up to his mouth to lick them off, never breaking eye contact as he did it.

Easing himself back into a more comfortable sitting position, you were aware in your peripheral vision that he had unzipped his own pants, cock hard and thick in his hand, stroking it a few times, quick and hard, before looking over at you.

“Don’t make me spoon feed this to you to. It’s my turn, right?”

[nataliedanovelist]

GF - Timestuck AU: The Power of Mabel ch.2

While fighting over a time machine so one twin can win a pig or the other can win the heart of a girl, Mabel is left stranded in a snowy forest with no time machine and no brother. Oops.

The BEAUTIFUL art pieces were done by @clownwry and @elishevart ! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! 😭❤️💋

ch.1 - ch.3

~~~~~~~~~~

Ford was way more nervous than he was letting on.

She had long, pretty brown hair, braces over her teeth, sneakers, a skirt, and a sweater that allowed the cold air to pass through it. Her cheeks were slightly chubby with youth and nosy, as well as her nose, due to the freezing weather. Her eyes matched her hair perfectly, and though they were clouded with fear and confusion, Ford swore he could see sparkling behind the clouds, sparkling that made itself well-known when she asked if she could make him a sweater or when she saw his hands.

She had long, pretty brown hair, braces over her teeth, sneakers, a skirt, and a sweater that allowed the cold air to pass through it. Her cheeks were slightly chubby with youth and nosy, as well as her nose, due to the freezing weather. Her eyes matched her hair perfectly, and though they were clouded with fear and confusion, Ford swore he could see sparkling behind the clouds, sparkling that made itself well-known when she asked if she could make him a sweater or when she saw his hands.

Ford would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy Mabel’s company, but she was practically a stranger, and keeping a random girl in his house that was located in the middle of the woods was fishy and Ford couldn’t help but feel like it was illegal. But he couldn’t leave her out in the snow and send her on her way to find her home and family, so he decided to keep her warm or healthy, simply because it was the right thing to do.

But then she said she had no parents to call. Only a brother, who was lost, too. Ford can remember the old rule: If you’re lost, stay where you are until you are found. So he then decided that she could stay here until her brother found her, which should be by morning at the latest.

Still, he felt uneasy, so once Mabel was settled in front of the TV, Ford excused himself and went into the kitchen to make a phone call. There was only one man who would have better judgement in this situation than him.

The phone rang a few times. Ford checked his watch to make sure it was a reasonable time to call. It wasn’t Sunday, was it? But then the ringing stopped. “Howdy! This here Fiddleford McGucket.”

“Hey there, buddy.” Ford smiled to himself at hearing that cheerful voice. “How have you been?”

“Stanford Pines! Good t’hear from ya!” Fiddleford cheered. “M’just fine, just fine! How are ya?! Ya haven’t gotten eaten by monsters yet, have ya?” He laughed, making his old friend chuckle along.

“No no, I’m alright.” Ford almost brought up the reason he called, but then he remembered something very important to Fiddleford. “How are Emma-May and Tater?”

“OH! They’re doin’ great! We’re all very happy n’ doin’ well! Ya won’t believe how big Tate’s gotten since ya last saw him! He’s already crawlin’!”

“Wow, that's great to hear.” Ford sat in a chair at the kitchen table. “Has he said his first words yet?”

“No, not quite. Actually, he’s extremely quiet. Not a lot of baby-babble.” Fiddleford chuckled. “The doctor says that’s perfectly normal. Tate’s so smart, he’s reachin’ for specific colors n’ such, n’ ya can tell he’s thinkin’ a lot n’ knows what’s goin’ on, he just got nothin’ t’say.”

“I was very shy when I was young.” Ford commented casually. He didn't feel like mentioning why. “If Tate is anything like either of his parents he’s very intelligent.”

“Oh, he’s so much like both of us it’s scary. Ya know Emma-May, so clever n’ quiet n’ such. Tate’s got all that. But he already looks so much like me! But he’s got his mama’s hair! N’ Santy Claus brought ‘im this fun little fishin’ game where ya fish for plastic fish with a pole with a magnet on it, n’ he loves it! I can’t wait to take ‘im fishin’ when he’s big enough! Ya really outta give yourself a break n’ come down for a visit, he’d move to see his Uncle Ford again.”

Ford’s face felt hot. “Perhaps. Spring is when a lot of anomalies are active and breeding, so i would prefer not to miss that, but maybe I could visit for a weekend before that…”

“Well, no pressure, I won’t assume anythang until ya tell me to, just know there’s always a bed for ya here.”

“Thank you, Fiddleford. The same for you and your family. The clean air will do everyone some good.”

“Oh, I’m sure.” Fiddleford sighed happily and perked up. “So! Whatcha callin’ for? Not that I’m not happy just t’chat, but ya never call.”

Ford laughed and shrugged to himself. “I suppose I don’t. I’m sorry.”

“No need t’be sorry, Stanford, just wanna know what’s up.”

“Well, I was hoping to get your advice on something.”

“Shoot.”

“Um… well…” Ford rubbed the back of his neck, unsure how to tell him this. “I heard some unusual sounds outside today…”

“What kind of unusual sounds?”

“Cracks, like lightning. And some faint yelling.” Ford answered. “I thought it might be a tree branch or a new anomaly to catalogue, but when I opened the door a young girl was standing there in the snow with no coat.”

“Heavens! Is she alright?!”

“She’s okay, no frostbite. She was cold, but after sitting by the fire, drinking some hot chocolate, and changing into some dry clothes, she’s okay now.”

“Well, good.”

“So of course I brought her in. I tried to call her parents, she probably got lost playing…”

“Sure.”

“... but she says she doesn’t have any parents.”

“Oh.” Fiddleford sighed. “Oh. Now, wait, are ya sure she didn’t just say that so ya wouldn’t call?”

Ford chuckled and said, “I first thought that too, but she looked too sad to be lying.”

“Okay, I see. Does she got somebody ya can call?”

“She says she has a brother, but he was out there, too. So he is probably out there looking for her and therefore nowhere near a phone.”

“Fair enough, okay. So, I reckon y’all are waitin’ for him t’come ‘round.”

“Yup.”

“Well sounds to me like you’ve handled this all pretty well.” Fiddleford said confidently.

“You think so?” Ford asked. “I can’t help but feel like I’m doing something wrong. Like I’m missing something. Am I doing something wrong?”

“Nonsense, buddy, you’re doin’ great.” Fiddleford assured. “Look here, ya can’t just leave a young gurl out in the snow t’try t’find her way home...”

“I agree.”

“... so ya really got one option n’ that’s t’keep an eye on her n’ let her in as a guest. N’ ya tried t’call, but nothin’. The best thang ya can do right now is be there for this lil’lady n’ just be kind t’her. N’ if nobody comes for her by mornin’, why don’t ya go into town n’ see if anybody knows her, then they can help y’all out.”

Ford nodded, then remembered that his best friend couldn’t see it, so he said, “Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. Thank you, Fiddleford.”

“You’re welcome. N’ hey, are ya okay?” He asked seriously.

“Yes, yes I’m okay. I just want to make sure I do this right.”

“O’course. I understand. Ya want me t’come down there n’ give a hand?”

“No, that’s not necessary. I’m sure Mabel will find her brother in the morning.”

“Mabel, huh? Well, if y’all don’t, please call me. N’ even if ya do find her brother, call me. Keep me updated.”

“I will. Thank you, Fiddleford.”

“Anytime, Stanford.”

~~~~~~~~~~

When Mr. Ford gave Mabel the remote for the old TV and went into the kitchen, she decided to use her awesome detective skills to figure out what year it was. If it was before Grunkle Stan lived here and opened the Mystery Shack, she must be pretty far back in time. But she had no way of knowing if it was 1999 or 2005 or the 50s.

The TV was old, but so was Grunkle Stan’s in her time. So Mr. Ford could have had this TV for a long time and didn’t want to replace it. 

Okay, so when was the TV made? Mabel didn’t know. Dipper would have known.

Okay, Grunkle Stan mentioned watching TV when he was a kid once or twice. So at least Mabel was when Stan was a kid, okay. 

Mabel turned the TV on and it was in color. Okay, so she wasn’t too far back in time. But the TV was playing a commercial for clear skin. The picture was gritty and all the people in it had puffy hair and long socks and oh my god was that woman wearing legwarmers?! Mabel grinned at seeing her favorite fashion on TV, but then her face dropped. When was she?

She tapped her chin and tried to think of how to know the date without being suspicious. She could ask Mr. Ford, but that might be suspicious. Mabel decided to start flicking through channels to try to guess what year she was in based on what was airing. A lot of shows were about cowboys, space, or game shows. Huh. Okay.

All the TV shows were definitely older. Nothing her dad would watch from when he was a kid, so if Mabel had to guess by everyone’s crazy air, the cheesy TV shows, and the music occasionally playing, she was in the 70s.

Huh. Okay. But she needed an exact year. So Mabel turned off the TV, saw an old radio on a desk, and turned it on to listen.

“... cuz it’s cold doesn’t mean you can't boogie, folks! So grab someone you wanna get warm with, turn up the music, and get your bodies warm in the coolest way possible! Here’s Night Fever, by the Bee Gees!”

Mabel grinned at the disco music. Her personal favorite song from these guys was More Than a Woman, but Night Fever would do. For a moment Mabel forgot her mission, jumped off the couch and left the blanket behind, and in the over-sized gray t-shirt Mr. Ford gave her while her clothes were drying, she danced along to the music, singing the chorus since those were the only words she knew.

“When you reach out for me. Yeah, and the feelin' is right,

Then I get night fever, night fever. We know how to do it! Gimme that night fever, night fever. We know how to show it!”

Mabel laughed at herself as she spun around in her socks and tried to do the point-and-hype dance she didn’t know the name to, but everyone did it when a disco song played.

Little did she know that Ford had returned to check on her, and was smiling at her as she shook her hips and waved her hair around and had fun. He leaned against the doorway and planned to let her dance in peace, but when she did a spin and saw him, she grinned and took his hand. “C’mon, Mr. Ford, come dance with me!”

Ford chuckled and shook his head. “No, no! I can’t dance!”

“You got two legs that aren’t broken?”

“Yes.”

“Then you can dance! C’mon!” Mabel encouraged, let him go when they were both in the middle of the room, and she started to dance again. “Don’t make me dance alone!” She even pulled an evil move and gave him puppy eyes. Rude.

Ford smiled slyly at her and hesitantly copied her boogie moves. It was true that Ford never liked to dance, but there was no one around but Mabel, and though he had only known her for an hour or more, he was sure she would never make fun of him.

And he was right.

“Wow! Look at you, Mr. I-Can’t-Dance! Yeah!” Mabel hopped on the couch, standing, and took Ford’s hand. “Here, I’ll spin you!”

Ford laughed and allowed it, doing a single spin, but then scooping her in his arms to dip her and then let her down, making her laugh as they continued to dance. 

“Alright alright, you crazy cats, that was Night Fever by the Bee Gees! It's a snowy day here in the heart of Oregon, with snow flurries coming in harder all night, but it should clear up by morning and be a fun day to go out and play! The date is January 26th, 1978 in case you gotta write a check or mail a thank you note to a friend or family member. I’m still writing letters for Christmas! We’ll be right back with some of your favorites after a word or two from our sponsors, so don’t go anywhere!”

Mabel stared at the radio. “Wow, 1978.” She breathed. Her parents were only kids right now, maybe only six or seven-years-old. Wow.

Ford chuckled. “I know, I’m still in the bad habit of writing ‘77.”

Mabel realized her mistake, but was grateful her host misunderstood her. “Me too.”

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for dinner. How about some ramen noodles?”

“Yes, please! Can we play a game after we eat?”

“Sure. I don’t have many board games, but I do have a deck of cards.”

“Do you know any card tricks?!”

“A few.” Ford admitted, wiggling his fingers. “There are some advantages to having more fingers than average.”

Mabel grinned up at him and followed him to the kitchen for dinner.