#oh you would absolutely hate who sparked this post would absolutely hate it

[writeouswriter]

Broke: Acknowledging that a character who is an objectively terrible person is also a complex and intentionally well thought out individual with different levels of nuance you can empathize with in some ways while not in others is immediately “woobifying” or “poor little meow meowifying” them.

Woke: “This character is a bad person” and “this character is still a person” are two statements that can, should and do coexist and admitting that they exhibit nuance and depth and are more than just their bad actions doesn’t immediately excuse or condone their bad actions or mean that you’re ignoring or trying to soften the canonical version of the character.

Bespoke: That’s the whole point, that’s always been the point, to be made to empathize with horrible people so you can understand that they can be anyone, that bad people can be likeable, can be interesting, can be human, are human, and it’s scary to think about all the ways they’re just like you and all the ways they’re just like everything you hate, forcing the use of critical skills in media analysis, forcing a confrontation of the duality of man.

Whatever Level is Above Bespoke: But sometimes, yeah, sure, maybe they are a poor little meow meow, what are you gonna do, get a lawyer

[mysticallystilinski]

camping with stiles slow burn smut ?

sparks | s. stilinski x fem!reader | smut

summary: playing with fire is guaranteed to get you burnt, but in this situation you wouldn’t mind getting a little spicy.

warnings: swearing, slight angst, y/n being super sensitive and tons of smut

a/n: { first smut i’m posting on here, and it obvi has to be about stiles! hope you enjoy love <3 }

“NO NO NO HELL NO.” you exclaim while spotting the spider on the lower half of your sleeping bag. “there is absolutely no fucking way i’m going to sleep here tonight.” you yelled once again. “y/n, can you ever just shut the fuck up?” stiles exclaims. how about you shut the fuck up you fuck face. having the spend the night with stiles wasn’t ideal, but you thought you could work it out. seems to be that your idea was wrong, and you are going to curse yourself for the next 12 hours of your life.

“now who’s quiet?” stiles says with a sly smirk on his face. 11 hours 38 minutes. that is the amount of time until you are back in your nice and cozy bed in beacon hills. for now you are stuck up in the woods, with no cell service, and absolutely no way to get out of this seem to be bonding moment with stiles; set up by the pack in efforts to make you two get along. kira and scott have been planning it since the day you two met. that day was the beginning of the bickering of your ‘enemyship’ as lydia says.

“maybe i wouldn’t be so quiet, if it wasn’t for you always being so obnoxious.” you spit out. his face contorts into a seemingly frown until the brunette starts to wheeze. “you really thought you did something y/n.” he says without failure of his laugh. his laughter echoed the quiet woods and god did you want to kill him. 11 hours and 20 minutes. “please just leave me alone the rest of the trip, that’s something that would really help.” you say.

without effort, stiles made you upset once again. you don’t know if it was the intention or just a joke but damn did it really hurt. without saying anything else you head into your camping bag and shut the zipper as quick as you possibly can. it was embarrassing enough being on this trip with him, but for him to see you cry because of his words was a whole other thing. you sit in your camping bag and it seemed to be dead silent. finally, no stiles, and only 11 hours and 15 minutes left of this stupid fucking trip. being caught in your own thoughts didn’t help you realize that the camper has been opened once again and a seemingly apologetic stiles was on the other side.

“hey, i’m sorry for before, i didn’t mean to make you upset.” he said apologetically. that was really sweet; oh shut up it probably was one of his other jokes. “no it’s seriously fine, don’t worry about it.” you say with snide in your voice. “geez y/n, i didn’t mean anything by it, maybe you should stop being so sensitive by everything” while he whispers the last part. “oh my fucking god.. it’s not my fault i have to be stuck in here with you” you say as you stand up from your place on the hard ground. “you seriously always seem to be a dick around me, and i never did anything to you.” your voice starts to raise as his eyes lower upon onto you.

“it’s not my fault you’re like obsessed with me or something” he laughs. “jesus stiles. are you really that full of yourself?” you laugh back. your hands start the clench as the anger inside you builds up second by second. steam seems to be flowing out of you being his eyes start to widen as your voice heightens. “SERIOUSLY PLEASE STILES GET A FUCKING LIFE.” you retort. all that goes through your head is how much you hate ruin and wish you would have never agreed to this.

his mind was filled with other things, things like what positions he could take you in or how hot you seemed to be when you were mad. he wanted to just let you keep talking forever at that rate because of how much it turns him on. “can i show you how much i hate you?” you say trying to walk off. you were quickly shown that he didn’t want you to leave because you felt a heavy tug on your hand from his.

stiles pulled you into him and placed his soft lips onto yours. he kissed you with passion and lust, adoringly with poison. he just wanted to touch you, so that’s what he did. he placed his hands upon your ass, but you didn’t seem to mind as you kissed him back with as much lust as he did. it was inevitable, you two getting together. the pack spotted the tension from day one of meeting you; even if that tension was anger at first.

you pulled back, out of breath in attempt to say something, anything. you were about to scold stiles and ask what the hell he was doing but he pulled you right back in again. with no hesitation he pulled back and sat on the floor waiting for you to join him. he pulled off his dark red flannel and his undershirt in a slight struggle. you watched his attempt and chuckled, wow stiles still clumsy while trying to fuck me. you took the bottom of his shirt and lifted it above his head easily. he looked back up at you with lust and him being slightly out of breath from that action.

in attempts to keep the mood you slowly took of your tank top; just leaving you in nothing but a lace bra and your skirt. his breath staggered at the sight of you, so he took your hand and pulled you down onto his lap. he immediately looked into your eyes then pulled you in to kiss you. his hands daringly caressed your body in attempts to feel your every curve and crevice. don’t get it wrong, you loved making out with stiles but something just felt off. maybe it was the clothes still on you.

you stopped kissing him and lead his hands to the band of your skirt. you waited for him to pull it down but he didn’t get the cue; so you had to manually put his hands and pull down your skirt. he did it with ease, skillfully. “nice moves stilinski.” you huff out. he gradually stops pulling down your skirt to say “do you wanna do it yourself?”. “maybe i will.” you say. you place your hands onto the floor to get up but he pulls you back in and starts to finish what he was doing before.

this time your skirt comes off quickly with ease and no hesitation from the one doing it. you were left in just panties and your lacy bra. he threw your skirt on the other side of the camping bag and it left a thump in the quiet of night. you couldn’t help but feel so bare when he only has his shirt off so you had an idea. “stand up”, you say. he quickly gets up off the floor and stands on the hard ground. you slightly crawl over to him in attempts to get closer to his dirty jeans.

you take one hand and grip onto his belt and the other to undo it. you heard him breathe in sharply and quickly exhale as his belt buckle soon becomes undone. you see out of the corner of your eye, his hand running through his soft hair. you unbutton his pants and quickly pull them down to the bases of his ankles. you pull back away from him, signaling for him to finish the rest. he steps out of his pants and heads back to the ground in only his boxers.

you were quick to get back on top of him and start to kiss him. your mouth lands farther and farther from his mouth to his neck. you slightly suck on his pale neck in attempts to make love bites. stiles exhales in and out, trying to be quiet but you want him to show you how much he wants you. you unlatch from his skin, “show me how much you want me stiles.” he pushes you slightly off of him and turns you onto your back. his body presses against yours and you can feel his hard bulge through the thin layers of underwear.

his breath gets caught in his throat as he places his lips onto yours. he forces his body down yours as his lips get closer, and closer to your pussy. once he arrives, he pushes your body up in attempt to get your underwear off your body, and it works. he slides your panties off with ease. stiles discards them to the other side of the tent, and sets his eyes back onto you. his eyes begin the pulsate as he lowers his head towards your soaking wet cunt. in a quick second, with no hesitation he latched his rough lips onto your pussy. you gasped in a sharp breath out of shock as he dives his tongue around your throbbing clit. your thighs sucked his head in deeper as your begging moans made it clear he should continue.

“stiles please, oh my god,” you say in a quick breath. he hums to your cunt and you can feel the chuckle pulsate throughout your delicious body. his mind was focused on pleasing you, while yours was set on finishing. he made it clear, he wasn’t going to stop until you came on his face. your moans became louder as the slim boy devoured his way through your soaking wet folds and all around your pussy. he gripped on your ass for support as he began to go deeper and deeper. you felt as though this couldn’t get any better, and your high was approaching.

stiles unlatched from your pussy, “what the fuck stilinski?”, you yell; clearly out of breath from this devilish act. as soon as you were gonna retort again, he stuck a finger into you. you huffed out a loud sigh in release. he slowly pumped his long finger in and out of you. you could see his devilishly hot smirk on his face as he began to pump it faster. he soon added a second finger into the mix and went down on you once again. “stiles, please oh my god go deeper,” you moan out. stiles starts to go deeper with the two fingers, while his mouth works on your throbbing clit.

you feel your high begin to almost release as the fingers and tongue are enough to make you start to shake. “stil- stiles,” you say while being out of breath. your legs start to clench around his body as he continues to go at a fast pace. it drive you absolutely wild, at how good he was at this. your high was close to hitting, so when he stuck a third finger in you near close to screamt. you were a moaning mess, and very messy. stiles unlatched his mouth from your cunt and you say gleaming cum all over his face. “jesus y/n, you did so good,” he said while being out of breath.

he was such a sight, messy hair, and puppy dog eyes. “now it’s my turn for me to please you”, and without hesitation you pushed stiles onto his back and hovered against his boxers. you grabbed the waistband and started to pull them down to his ankles. you took his cock into your hand and started to slowly pump it. you took one finger and slid it across the tip. stiles huffed out in pleasure as you aligned the tip with your cunt and slowly lowered yourself down onto it. you felt him instantly fill you up. he soon was deep inside you, and it felt magical. you didn’t mind the slow thrust of stiles going deep inside you.

“oh my god y/n, you feel so good,” stiles has to exclaim. your cheeks began to be rosy by overstimulation, and the fact that he’s praising you. you began to force yourself to go deeper. he felt so good inside you. he wanted more, he began to thirst his hips deeper to gain the maximum amount in you. “stiles, i love how this feels,” you groan out. you felt his cock start to twitch inside, so you started to grind upon him. his moans began to be louder as you clenched yourself around his base. “y/n please, i’m about to cum,” and as soon as he said it you felt him unleash his load into you. at the very same time you began to convulse and feel your orgasm approach you once again. “stiles- oh my god,” you say. stiles felt the same amount of bliss you did in that very moment, and maybe even more. as soon as you approached your finish, you slowly got off of him and fell against the bottom of the floor.

“you good?”, he says calmly. “yes i’m so good”, you say slyly. 10 hours and 20 min. “so are we good y/l/n?”, he smirks. “very good,” you laugh. you seem to feel calm and safe around him suddenly. his smirk was just too cute and too hard not to kiss. you reached in again and placed your lips onto his. he smiled into the kiss and raveled his fingers into your hair. why do i have to feel this way about him. you pulled back from this kiss just to see his pretty smirk, and you did.

10 hours, maybe i should just go camping once again with stiles. i wouldn’t mind. even if he is a dick, i’d like to suck his for once.



[zae5]

What happened to Liv? 😭 I know you two are close I can’t find her blog anymore 😭😭😭😭

Hey anon! Thank you for reaching out. Liv decided to deactivate or delete her blog after all the hate anons she received. It was a pretty pointless debate, if you'd even call it that at this point, with her getting very vile and personally attacking anons to the point where she felt this wasn't a happy place to be sharing her thoughts, to which I absolutely agree with.

Since you've brought up the topic that was the shortest answer I could give you above. If you are interested in reading more I'll expand below the cut, as I have a lot to say.

This whole thing started about a fictional character, Michael Gavey, who hasn't appeared on screen or will appear for 64 seconds and sparked a debate on whether you should write or read or plainly consume fanfiction about a character who hasn't been properly defined.

Now it could have remained that. A debate and I personally see things from both povs

This is a post I agree with as a writer.

Here

I'm an amateur, I've just begun writing but my style or whatever I'm finding, matches the one mentioned above. I need visual cues and I need to see and analyse a character more if I ever consider writing about him so yes, I personally would not write about a character I haven't completely analysed or who hasn't appeared on screen yet.

As a reader however, I have a different perspective. I love spoilers. I like knowing things beforehand and going through them in my head before reading a book or consuming media. Its fun to go "oh what I pictured turned out to be quite close to what's being shown here". The accuracy or near accuracy gives me a boost. I'm happy when I feel like I analysed or thought about a character similar to what I see later on. It shows me I understood the creator and what they were trying to portray even before seeing it. Gives me a "we are maybe on the same wavelength" feeling and thats fantastic.

That's why I can see a similar perspective to authors and creators already writing fanfiction for him before they've seen the movie. They have an image in their head and they want to be creative and show you how wonderful their imagination is. What's wrong with that? I have many moots who've written lovely stories that I want to read and I probably will.

Coming back to the point, what I don't understand is why people decided that these were such drastically opposite views and decided to sling hatred at whoever didn't conform to their idea of consumption and creation of media.

Why was there a need to send hate to a creator who said she didn't want to read or write as yet just because she wanted to get to know him better before doing so?

Why was there a need to harass writers who wanted to write and express their feelings being all gatekeepy over their work instead?

And why was there a need to constantly continue this anon responding and giving them traction all over again. It should have been shot down long before a fellow creator was forced to leave this site for good. We're all friends here why can't we be civil and respect each other's opinions.

A post stating your preference is not calling the other out. It is simply that, stating your preference and we as a fandom need to stop clinging to crumbs and overanalyzing stuff like this and use them for call out games.

Look at his pretty face and analyse those crumbs instead.

This is supposed to be fun, please continue to letting it be fun for others too.

That's all.

[bourbon-ontherocks]

20 questions for writers

I was tagged by @pia-writes-things (ty!!! ❤️)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

46!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

703,271. Which is, um, a lot.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Good Girls (formerly), HPI (formerly), and l'Art du Crime. There's also a random bit for les Combattantes, and one GG fic has a shared universe with Graceland. I'm very mono-fandom lol.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Take A Dip

It's All Coming Back To Me

It Hurts When I See You Struggle

Love And War

We're Living In A Powder Keg And Giving Off Sparks

Unsurprisingly, these are all GG fics, although I don't think my kudos ranking is accurate because most of these were impacted by the great kudos-bombing gate from 2020 so it's hard to tell what's actually my most kudo-ed fic.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Absolutely. My secret goal is to keep the conversation going back and forth for the longest possible time because I love the opportunity for a good ramble about my writing 😈

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I wanna say Ad vitam æternam (L'art du crime)? I mean, it's literally an MCD fic, so, not that merry... Also if I remember correctly, Always lost in the sea (HPI) doesn't end on a very hopeful note either.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I don't know? All of them? None? I generally tend to go for happy open endings with that extra bit of bittersweet so I really couldn't tell. But hey, maybe the ending to that thing I'm currently writing actually is the happiest of it all, because oh boy, things do get cheesy at some point 🥺

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No at all! Unless you count that one person who commented on several chapters of whichever long GG fic I wrote just to point blank hate on Beth character lol

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Of course I do (in English only), I like my porn toxic and desperate and angsty with just the right amount of power play and mutual hatred. Basically, I write hatefuck 😂

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not really, no... I've tried a couple of times, but I think I'm better at/more interested in mimicking existing interactions than inventing a dynamic between characters who never met canonically (and also, boy the kind of SETUP you need to justify some characters crossing paths... it's just too much work). I'm more of a cameo/easter egg kind of writer, so once in a while I'll allow a character from another fandom to pop up in a fic and say hi, but it's really a blink-and-you'll-miss-it kind of encounter.

I guess my craziest attempt would be that Crazy Ex-Girlfriend / Good Girls crossover that I never finished though, cause like, super different moods?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of but I don't really attempt to know

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! By myself lol. I once posted a fic in two languages before acknowledging it was a hell of an additional work 😭

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Kinda? We never finished nor even posted it but at some point we shared a quite unhinged co-writing story with @whiskeyjack and @00gangfriend00 and it was a lot of fun 🥰

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

You... you guys have that? You don't just live by your Ship of the Moment just to instantly forget about it and hop on the Next Ship when it shows up? I'm sorry but I don't think I have one of those.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

What a trap question!!! 😂

It's All Coming Back To Me, obviously. Look, I really really want to finish it, not even for me at this point, but for the 120-something people who subscribed to it, for the faithful readers who still leave me comments every now and then hoping for closure. I know how it ends. I have it partially written. I just don't seem to know how to write for Good Girls anymore, and getting my head back into it feels like such an insurmountable load of work, I just- I'm trying, ok?

But like, if someone's interested in helping, or even writing that ending based on my notes (and getting full and proper credits for it obvi), just let me know! I'm really open to it 🥲

16. What are your writing strengths?

Probably dialogues? I've been told many times that my dialogues feel very close to the original, and the thing is, I write about TV shows and I have a very good ear so I think I catch quite easily the actors' voices and tones and mannerisms in my head, so every time I write down a line, I play it several times in my mind with the character's voice to determine whether they would say it like that or not. Looks like it's not working so bad.

Also I *think* I'm not too bad at stream-of-consciousness inner monologues. At least it's one of my favourite things to write so there's that.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes (that includes sex lol). Filling the gaps between the important parts. Descriptions. Setting up the scene.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Like, featuring two different languages inside the same fic, or writing in different languages? I'm not sure I've ever really written the first one? I guess I find it a bit clunky, occasionally I've written scenes that included a character whose native language wasn't the one of the fic, and I'd give them a line or two if that's relevant to the plot (for instance, if characters are lost somewhere in another country, I can add a line/dialogue in another language for comedic effect. Or it can be a way for a character to whisper something for themselves), but the logistics are quite nightmarish, you gotta either assume your audience knows the second language, or translate the lines in the author's note, or have another character translate it in a way that doesn't sound too articifial, that's really really tedious haha

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Good Girls.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

You think I know that? Out of FOURTY-SIX??? Lol. Get out.

Tagging: @sdktrs12 @joeyjoeylee if you're around @riosnecktattoo @humanbra @hemerae-ramblings @sothischickshe @asteraceae-blue

[tenderfxck]

OHHH, I've been meaning to send you a short imagine that popped up in my head from the Alhaitam posts. But before I could realize, it went from a short paragraph to an actual little drabble. So here it is, I hope it's up to your bullying alhaitam standards™ as THE bullying alhaitam blog.

I wrote all of this on my phone so I apologize before hand for any mistakes but DAMN. I ADORE the idea of bullying entitled and bitchy characters so much it's not funny anymore (it is) because every time i tell my ideas, my friends are just. Flabbergasted. Queue an audible gasp and a "why would you do that to him?"

Well, with Haitam the story writes by itself: He asked for it. Oh, so he's better than everyone else? Different, logical and centred? He's absolutely not like the other academics, of course. Such an admirable and unique individual we have in front of ourselves!

Alhaitam thinks so highly of himself, it's only natural for me to desire to humble him.

I like the idea of playing along with his antics, testing him. He begins a discussion for a matter you don't really care about, but you take his bait anyway. Patiently, you wait for a chance to get closer to him and his frowned face, and before he knows it, one of your hands begins working its way up his chest. His breathing stutters as he tries so hard to keep talking. His mouth goes dry and there's something a bit shaken in his voice—you merely laid your fingertips over his shirt but your touch feels like a thousand sparks flying. Alhaitam can feel the heat in his body as he speaks, going all the way to his face, and even if he lets you push him against the wall, he refuses to adress what's going on.

(What would he even say? He knows he doesn't want you to stop, but he doesn't want to admit it either)

And just when your hand reaches his shoulder and you lean forward, mouth inches away from his, he finally stops speaking, bracing himself for the second your lips brush against his—But that moment never comes. Instead, you stand back and leave with a laugh. “That's all you get. See you next time, oh-Grand-Scribe”

He watches you go, heart beating so hard it may as well jump out of his chest. He feels hot all over his body, and feels shamefully familiar ache forming down, down his torso. The red creeping up his neck now it's not only caused by embarrassment but anger.

How could you do this to him?

You're the worst type of person he's ever encountered—a walking nonsense! Alhaitam has decided long ago that people like you are absolutely not worth his time.

Yet, he has reluctantly held himself in his hand and pumped his cock at night thinking about you, writhing with rage at the way you wake up his desire like nothing and no one ever has. Even if he hates every ounce of the situation you got him in, he continues to betray his logic when he goes looking for you the next day.

You're not alone when he finds you. On the contrary, the other person is so close to you they may as well try to steal your breath, as you help them hold their notes in your hands as you explain them a topic they didn't quite understand. You guide them with gentleness, as you're known for, but the only thing Alhaitam can think about it's the flush on the other person's face, the way they're staring at your mouth and absolutely not listening to your words. He coughs, so your attention goes to him.

“Oh, hello Haitam!” you chirp, so energetic, so happy and unapologetic despite the way you gave him a hard time the day before. “Didn't expect to see you here!”

You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? Helping this student who's obviously not interested in literary theory but looking for a reason to get close to you.

“You shouldn't be giving lessons on a subject you did poorly,” he states. He recalls your face the day the scores were posted, how your confident smile dropped and your mouth formed a perfect 'O'; he's been looking to see that happen again since you began pestering him.

To his displeasure, you laugh. “Yeah, I did have to retake the exam when I failed more than a year ago. You have quite the memory, don't you, Grand Scribe? Good thing I learned from my failure and moved on”

The other person shuffles in their place, slightly uncomfortable, beginning to understand you two aren't talking about linguistics. Good.

“I just remembered I had something else to take care of, thank you and goodbye!”

You wave them off, unbothered, sweet smiles and kind words, “you can come looking for me anytime you need me!”

Then you turn back at him and your nice front drops. “What a way to scare off the students I'm tutoring. You know I need this so the Akademiya approves my investigation, right?”

“They didn't come here for your help.”

“Yeah, but you didn't come here for a tutorship either, did you?”

Alhaitam ears begin to burn a bright red and you notice.

“You know, I said something about learning from my failures. I didn't think I had to give that advice to the Grand Scribe of the Akademiya but…”

Alhaitam breath stutters, and his words come out before he can regret it:

“You were lying when you rejected me.”

Your eyes widen for a second, grin big with teeth and amusement.

“Really? My, I didn't get the memo”

“You're doing this on purpose”

“Why would I?”

“I don't know!” He bursts. “You're nonsensical! You're the most absurd person I have ever met. Always acting like you know something I don't and I know that's impossible! I don't understand how you manage to be so irritating, and annoying, and yet I still can't understand why you, of all people, make me feel—what are you doing?”

Once again, you are moving dangerously close to him.

“Hm, I don't know. Tell me,” you say. Your breath feels hot, all over his neck as you lean over him. “Are you mad because I didn't touch you last time? Poor thing.”

“Don't call me—ah”

“I'm sorry, what?” you blow over the bite you left over his neck, hands moving from his torso to his chest. You wait for him to answer, but it seems that unlike some, Haitam is all bark and no bite.

“That shut you up real quick, huh”

“...I hate you.”

“Don't say it too much, Haitam. It might go straight to my head.”

<3!

ahahahaHAHAHAAAAAAA GO OFFFFFFFF

this is already a long post so i’ll put my deranged ramblings thoughts under the cut <333

i read this like i was watching a football game. full on yelling at my monitor. audible gasps. the pettiness, the backhanded compliments, the CALLBACKS??? like how do i add on to this perfection??

i know what you mean!! my friends think he's so dreamy. i will give them that he's handsome, but like. i think its my god given right to knock some sense into this man. i don't know if it's just because i'm a smartass with a quip ready for anything but humbling a man who would probably say something like "hitherto" with 100% seriousness needs a decent ego-check imo

okay i'll leave you with something small of my own.

late at night, behind closed doors, when nothing but his thoughts and hands can keep him company, your sweet visage won’t leave his mind.

it happens almost every night. most times he can will away these shameful urges. but others, nothing but you laid out, bare in front of him, fills his head.

but a slightly different version of you.

one that finally falls to pieces after hard fought battle that he’s finally gained the upper hand in.

and the spoils?

seeing your normally composed face twist in pleasure, gasping, panting under his gaze. tears cling to eyelashes, threatening to spill as your voice pitches, pleading, begging him to touch you.

i’m sure haitham pictures that pretty little sight more than he’d like to admit.

see? i can let him win once in a while. (in his own head at least)

[bearhugsandshrugs]

Oh, I've read all your fics now but the one that got me initially was MAD! I first got into Gortash fics with Durge because lovers to enemies is my absolute favorite trope, along with their whole only us against the world dynamic, and a lot of that goes away post game, so Tav and him do have a post game dynamic I enjoy more and MAD is just. Chef's kiss. Great dynamics, great emotions, very delicious. I especially loved the latest chapter, can't wait for Gortash to be forced to face and deal with the consequences of his actions! He's probably not going to enjoy it but I certainly will.

I'm also kind of curious what the post game Durge AU you'd be interested in is, but ignore that if I'm being too nosy! -🗡️

Thank you! I'm happy you enjoy the fic 😍 It's fun to write and the small community that has formed around it is amazing. If I could put you all in a little room with me to hangout I would.

For the Durgetash fic....

I've considered so many versions at this point. And I've come to the conclusion that I don't vibe with Durge. I'm just not into the murder/cannibalism/necrophilia part. A large part of fanon for pre-game existing Durgetash implies that Gortash is into that. And... uhhh... I'm fine with my headcanon that he's not.

I know it's not canon that he'd be into those things (like: you can be into someone and excuse a lot of shit if you're down bad. Plus, if anything, patch 6 seems to imply that Durgetash pre-game was more a mutual attraction than an existing relationship) but it would be another thing I'd have to reconcile in a post-game AU (next to his terrorism, tyranny, and so on – I personally feel two villains in love to be boring so I'd always write redemption stories).

So what I landed on as a Durgetash story that would be appealing to me would be a Durge that played the long game, did all that was asked of her from her father, pretended to make plans, engaged in all of those activities, but hated them; but she did it because she didn't want to become a mindless breeding machine or spark the ire of the other Bhaalists.

Next to a Gortash who admired this Durge for her skills and intellect, was maybe attracted to her, but also thought she was batshit insane and thus strictly forbid himself anything beyond a close work relationship.

After the game they have to both figure out who they are. They both have false perceptions of each other. Durge thinks Gortash is a monster and so does Gortash of Durge. Underneath it all they're just survivalists.

They don't want a monster for something serious (maybe something fun). So what if they start out as monsters with benefits and then slowly peel away those layers?

Then again. That would be a heavy plot to write in terms of redemption. I'd have to plan out so much shit. And I doubt anyone would care about that story because Durgetash nation is mainly into the exact thing I would try to retcon lol. (which is fine!! just not my cup of tea)

[the-blind-assassin-12]

Happy 2024, everyone!

I hope everyone reading this had a fantastic holiday season, and that they got to celebrate and enjoy it exactly how they wanted to. I hope old memories were remembered fondly and that new ones were made to add to the collection. And most of all, I hope the next 366 days (we’re leaping this year, friends!) are so incredibly good to you. 🤍

& now for the annual year end wrap up / new year intentions post

Out with the old…

Woof. I know I was nowhere near alone in having a rough time in 2023. It seemed like so many of us were struggling for various reasons, and I hate that for us. I truly hope that the new year is kinder to everyone.

Personally, it was one of my lowest years all around. Despite there being some really fun high points, I struggled in literally every aspect from creatively to mentally, and at times it was nearly impossible to string two or more good days together. If it weren’t for the love and support of my friends and (some of) my family, I honestly don’t know how I would have gotten through it. Things haven’t changed much just because the calendar flipped, but I’m doing my best to stay afloat and hopeful that things can start to get a little bit better.

Creatively, I let myself down in 2023. Last January I came up with a list of some writing goals that I wanted to accomplish, and friends, I barely made a dent. It was so disheartening that halfway through the year I stopped posting my updates because there basically were none, and focusing on my flops was not doing it for me. Yes, engagement was down and that was a bummer (let’s all scream and shout at each other a lot more this year, deal?), but my main hurdles came from stress and anxiety related to regular life things - and I did a terrible job at cutting myself slack for that. All I did was add pressure to something that has always been fun, and that was absolutely not cool of me.

Especially because there were things I wrote this year that I was actually quite proud of, failed goal list be damned. So this year…

… In with the new!

This year my goal is just to write: What I want, when I want, as much as I want, and as much as I can. I’m going to try to finish as many things as possible while still indulging any new sparks of inspiration. And I’m gonna try to do better at being cool to myself while I’m at it 💁🏻‍♀️

Oh! And! I’m going to try my best to do my part in reviving the engagement level with more reblogs and comments and visits to inboxes.

With all that said, I’m going to try to work on some specific things to start the year, mainly: Recall, Survivor Blues, Unfinished & Aphelion. But with no pressure or time limits or anything like that.

So that’s that on that. A year of lower expectations might be just the thing to get things kicking again. As always, I am so thankful to every single person who supported my writing (and in turn, me) over the past year more than you can possibly know. Wishing everyone lots of luck, love, strength, health and happiness in 2024!!

🤍✨

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Ok I saw that post you reblogged about Jackie's role in this whole project and I really do love the concept of Jackie being an experiment from IRIS that escaped. After reading that I had this idea that after he escaped from the facility reader found him and helped him stay hidden from them but then they hear about what happened at the facility with Chase and Anti (whether they know about both of them or not is entirely up to you) and Jackie wants to go back and see for himself what's going on and help in someway and reader is worried about them. Would love to see how you would write this out. ~✴️

Oh yeah!!! I’m so curious about his role

........

For several weeks, you’ve been housing the superhero known as Jackieboy Man.

Now that would sound like a dream come true for any fan of him--and he had many, especially the IRIS staff who’d read comics about him during their breaks. Some even had kids who admired him and were ecstatic to learn of a real-life superhero living in their world.

But the reality was that he had been living a nightmare at that facility.

It was absolute hell..

Being strapped to a table while they injected him with all sorts of substances that left him screaming nonstop day and night; being thrown into cells to combat other subjects like a dog in an illegal fighting ring...or test chambers to demonstrate the “powers” given to him.

He was an artificially-created superhuman. An experiment bred in a lab.

And he hated it. He’d give anything to be normal again.

Despite your kindness and the risks you've taken to help him, Jackie remained cautious around you. He got paranoid that you’ll turn him back in, especially when IRIS put out a cash reward and a free WTCHR camera upgrade to whomever did so.

You promised him that will never happen. His freedom mattered more to you than anything of material value. Yet the thought of being betrayed still scared him a lot. Sometimes he’d tense up whenever you picked up the phone to make a call, but you always tell him exactly what you’re doing.

It was a bit annoying at times, though could you blame him? No.

Eventually, Jackie let his guard down a little. He expressed his more optimistic side and played video games with you a lot; thus your friendship grew closer by the day. 

You also noticed he was quite a proficient hacker. In his spare time--prior to being captured--he’d try to expose corruption on the Internet, starting with scammer accounts. At one point he even solved a local cold case and was hailed a hero, sparking his pride and obtaining a strong sense of justice.

He attempted to expose a “red room” on the dark web and was close to piecing together the URL...

Until IRIS abducted him in the dead of night. And the rest was history.

Even now, he still had those skills. So it was no surprise to you when you came home to hear him typing away on the computer, hearing him whisper-shout “yes! Jackieboy Man wins again!”

“How didja do, hero?” You entered the room, curious.

“Great. I’ve been trying to hack into IRIS’ security systems all day..lots of weird puzzles were involved. I got into one camera, though.”

At the mention of the facility, your smile faltered a bit. “How come you did that? I thought you..wanted to forget that place.”

“...I did, until I heard it went into lockdown.”

“Really?” You blinked in surprise, kneeling beside him to see what he discovered on the cameras.

And you found it hard to believe; it was like a scene out of some sci-fi horror movie:

The camera was positioned in a hallway with red lights. Dead scientists and guards littered the corridor--pools of blood surrounded their heads, as if something grabbed them and slammed them into the wall.

But what shocked you even more were the two men that were there. The one you recognized had a gray shirt and cap, on the floor as he shuffled backwards--apparently trying to get away from the other man dressed in black.

The latter was trudging along slowly, corrupting the camera footage the more he walked. You couldn’t see his face, but it was clear he was stalking the other man...as if he were prey.

And just as the guy in black stopped...

The camera cut to static, displaying the words “signal lost”.

“What the hell..th-that was Chase, wasn’t it?”

“No, no, no, no..! C’mon, get back up already..” Jackie started muttering anxiously, typing frantically in an attempt to get back online. Though he stopped when it proved to be useless, instead looking at you. “You know him?”

“I do. We were friends. God I--I thought he was dead, but he was with those assholes all this time.” You were furious.

Chase had been alive..being held against his will.

“I didn’t get to talk to him much..but I know he’s in serious trouble. He can’t be alone with that monster.”

“Who? The other guy?”

“He’s the reason Chase is there at all, and...why I was made this way.” Pausing, he stared down at his hands, clenching both fists.

You wondered what he meant by that, and you frowned slightly, worried. “Jackie..”

“They turned me into a weapon in hopes I could somehow contain him. But..h-he got in my head a lot. He told me I’m just their lab rat..that I’m nothing but their toy.” His eyes began to glow a light green, his hands shaking. “It made me so angry..god..if only I can punch a voice, right? Too bad they never gave me that ability.”

Feeling your hands over his own, Jackie glanced up at you, the glow dissipating as he sighed shakily. His expression became determined and cold.

“We have to go back.”

“..what?” You gawked in disbelief. Never in a million years did you think he’d ever say that. “Jackie that’s...you can’t be serious. What if they capture you-?”

“Trust me, they’re gonna have a hell of a hard time with that. They can’t control me anymore. But Chase doesn’t stand a chance. I need to make sure he’s alright. As far as I know, he’s innocent, and justice calls for me to help the innocent..no matter what. I can’t ignore what we saw on those cameras.”

As much as you wanted to agree with him, you were also worried about the other guy. “And..what about him? What if he’s still there?”

“...there’s only one way to find out. I..I have to face my fears once and for all. It’s what a hero does, right?”

For a moment, you were silent. But you knew that you couldn’t change his mind now. Though if he were to go alone, he’d surely be in just as much trouble.

No way were you gonna let that happen.

“Right. But what’s a hero without his sidekick?”

Jackie blinked. “Wait..you mean...?”

“If you’re going, then I’m coming with you.”

[russilton]

sorry but im asking this as a genuine question and not to be snarky or anything. doesn't george get a shit ton of hate? people are always nasty to him on all social media platforms but especially on the merc insta page, i know it may not matter that much but its pretty widespread online bullying. as a george fan i am happy if that's the case but also curious why you think he doesn't get as much hate as verstappen because it seems close ngl.

Oh sorry anon that must be me not being clear enough; which, when I’m being a grumbly fuck does happen- I ABSOLUTELY think George receives a truly heinous amount of hate, I’ve caught strays just being his fan, I’ve been there in the comments, I’ve seen it with people I talk about F1 with IRL. He in no way deserves the hate he gets and so much of it is unfair and arguably sparked by the likes of redbull and max.

What I was trying to say is that WHILE George and Max both receive hate- that doesn’t make them comparable. It’s harder to see these days but you still can’t go into lewis’ comments without seeing racist and homophobic remarks made by BOTS people have set up because they’re so dedicated to demeaning Lewis and Merc- but you wouldn’t ever try and lump Lewis and Max in together because they both receive hate would you?

I would argue that these days Max has frankly earned a lot of the hate he receives. He has cheated, he has demeaned other drivers and fans, he has shouted slurs and refused to apologise, he admits to purposefully hitting other drivers and breaking rules, he apologises for bigots and brings his convicted woman beating father into the paddock. He has practically tunnelled into the earths core rather than attempt to go over the bar of human decency.

George’s hate is unfair and almost always biased as all hell. Yes he’s cocky and god sometimes it would be helpful if he rephrased his radios- but he is allowed to be terse going 200 miles per hour when he later clarifies himself later and most importantly- follows those views with genuine heartfelt intent. George pushes rules but doesn’t break them unless it’s to point out how other drivers have been allowed to do so without penalty. Some of the people hating him do it to defend Lewis- a guy who clearly adores George and doesn’t need defending like that. The other large amount are redbull fans who haven’t taken his staunch dislike of them with any class.

THAT is the problem I was complaining about under my other post- to conflate the hate max and George get is to remove context from it- the hate has VASTLY different reasoning. It acts like the hate max gets is just part of the game and not valid criticism of all the shit he’s done.

Hate is apart of the sport, you’ll never get rid of all of it- but George gets lambasted for mistakes he apologised for and for pointing out the flaws in a system that allow max to get away with murder. Max gets hate because it’s literally being pointed out by JOURNALISTS that he is allowed to get away with doing whatever he wants and the rules are cut open to allow it

[storiesofsvu]

Second Chair Spark Ch 9

Warnings: Language, smut, fingering, semi public smut?

***

Over the next month or so things kept going the way they had been with you and Casey, you worked seamlessly well together in court, your success rate on your partnered cases sitting at a whopping 87%, practically unheard of.  Donnelly praised you, Rita found herself hating getting called down to SVU (though the tradition of you paying for drinks post trial stuck), and the detectives were ever stuck in the dark. They’d drawn up a bet board of exactly when you had/would finally fuck, varying dates and amount of money tracked. The irony was that it was on the flip side of the white board they used for cases that you constantly worked on. You often gave the squad confused looks as Fin or Amanda would mutter something while you frustratingly exchanged remarks, their eyes glinting with suggestive looks you both were completely oblivious to.

You still fought like no tomorrow over cases, and especially over courtroom days, finding the time during your arguments to purposefully rile the other one up while you broke down a perp. It was days like those that you’d barely make it back to Casey’s locked office before pouncing on each other, doing your best to keep your moans and whimpers quiet, only between each other as you brought each other to ecstasy. Most weekends were spent at one of your apartments, tangled in each other’s bodies, hands and mouths discovering hidden erogenous zones you had yet to find, a sheen of sweat on your bodies, the heat of lust hanging in the air.

Today you were questioning a perp, you’d started out leaning back in your chair, getting a few in before bothering to get up, knowing just how much Casey loved how incredibly cocky you were when you used that move. Now you were pacing the courtroom, pencil skirt hugging your hips incredibly tight, it was the middle of summer, the heat sunk through the room, your blazer shredded, sleeves rolled up. Casey was doing her best to pay attention to the examination since she was doing closing arguments, but you always overly used your hands while talking, and she couldn’t stop thinking about what else you did with them. 

You’d taken questioning today because the perp was one of the ones that was the easiest for you to break, the misogynistic asshole who believed he was better than everything and that women didn’t deserve shit. You had some sort of magic power to breaking them down, the detectives would interrogate for hours and get nothing, but the moment he was on the stand with you strutting around in front of him, he was done for. Today especially, you were wearing one of Casey’s shirts (having come from her apartment that morning) and it was more than snug against your body, showcasing your curves. Nothing like a strong and powerful, yet absolutely seductive woman to break him, Casey practically drooled the days you used hyper sexuality to win your cases. The first time she saw you flirt with a perp in interrogation 2 she’d practically creamed herself. You stopped pacing to take a arms length distance lean against the stand, your voice dropping an octave as you asked your next set of questions, you could see the perp’s eye line hit down your chest, slowly drinking you in before he answered. With a simple curl of your lips and tilt of the head, he was done for, snapping, yelling about the victim and how she deserved it, how women deserved to be treated like the whore’s they were. Olivia had commented multiple times that you should think about being a detective, cracking the cases before trial, but there was something so fucking satisfying about being able to think ‘oh, they plead not guilty..cute…’  especially when you got to humiliate them in front of a jury. You spun on your heel, a satisfied smirk on your face as you gained eye contact with Casey.

***

Donnelly had called for a recess, leaving you and Casey racing back to her office, the tension in the air thick, you slammed the door locked behind you as she jumped at you, capturing your lips in a heated kiss. Casey bit into your lip, harder than usual, backing you through the office, hands groping down your body, 

“You were so fucking hot in there baby girl…” She muttered against your lips, you gasped as she pinched your nipples through the thin shirt, you felt your ass hit the side of her desk, she whipped you around in her arms, tugging your skirt up as she began her attack on the side of your neck. She nearly froze as her hands traced up to your hips, pulling her mouth away from you, “You’re….you’re not wearing any underwear…” You giggled lightly, she pushed your torso down against the desk, “You planned this entire thing…” Your head moved to face her,

“Of course…” You smirked, whimpering as she let her hand come down onto your ass, spanking as hard as she could without making too much noise.

“You’re such a fucking brat…” Casey’s voice was deep with lust, a few more spanks hitting your cheeks, you quietly moaning at each one. She dropped to her knees, spreading your legs apart as you arched your hips up, moving your sensitive spots closer to her. You gasped as her tongue moved against you, fuck was she ever good at fucking you with her mouth. At least half of your hook ups were in one of your offices which left you with just fingers and mouths, and she definitely knew how to make you weak in a matter of minutes with hers. 

Casey sunk a finger into your bare wet heat, lapping against your clit, she pulled it into her mouth as she plunged a second finger in, you whined as they curled against your g-spot, the pressure nearly too much to handle. One of your hands shot back, grasping her free one in yours as she quickly brought you to orgasm, knowing exactly how to make you tick. She removed her mouth from your cunt, licking up your thighs to attempt to clean you up, you shuddered as her tongue hit your still sensitive folds when she pulled out her fingers. You felt her gently kiss the back of your thighs, pulling a tissue from her desk, wiping up your legs and very gently across your folds, moving to stand as she tossed it into the trash. She pulled your skirt back down over your hips, making kisses over your clothed back as you recovered from your orgasm before slowly pushing yourself up to standing. Casey wrapped her arms around you, hands rubbing your back softly, lips pressing into your head, 

“You may be a brat buck fuck…you’re incredible.” You huffed a laugh, 

“Speak for yourself…holy shit…” Her lips moved un hurried against yours, a palm on your cheek softly as both your phone’s starting pinging, recess was over, time for Casey’s closing arguments.

***

To say you were still slightly flustered back in the courtroom would be very accurate. You fucking adored watching Casey in court, and when it was closing, you never had to pay too much attention to anything else in the room but her. You could still feel the wetness between your thighs, your mouth watering at the thought of getting your lips on her as she proudly strutted through the room. Her sultry voice rung out clear for everyone to hear, lips that you could barely tear your eyes away from, that fucking cupid’s bow driving you insane. The fact that you knew she could still taste you on her tongue riled you up even more. Thankfully things didn’t take too long before the jury left to deliberate and much like earlier, you were dragging Casey back to her office, eager to get your hands on her.

Your lips hungrily moved against each other as your hand snaked it’s way under her skirt, she let out a low whimper as you simply plunged a finger into her, knowing she’d be ready.  She backed up against her desk, hands buried into your hair as your fingers pumped torturously slow, leaving her every so often to play with her clit.

“Stop being a fucking brat…” Casey whispered against your neck, biting, hard, against the supple skin, you silently yelped, slapping her clit in response before your fingers delved back into her. Her hands wrapped around you tightly, clenching at the fabric of your shirt as you steadily brought her to her orgasm. Right before the coil was about to burst, there was a battering of knocking against the door, causing you to shoot away from each other, Casey taking the ½ second to hope she looked presentable, she didn’t even know how you managed to move to the table, still standing, pouring over a case file as the door opened.

“Jury’s not back yet, but I think we all know the direction this is going…” Rita Calhoun entered the office, you glanced up at her, 

“Hmm…guess I should get a start on paperwork then..” You gave a glance to Casey, moving past Rita as their conversation continued. You waited until Casey’s eyes met yours over the older woman’s shoulder, silently sucking the fingers that had been buried deep in her earlier into your mouth. You made a show of sucking them clean, finishing with a smirk before you left the office. 

[and-stir-the-stars]

You mentioned in a post that Saffron Evan eventually becomes somewhat protective of Mike. How would he respond if someone harmed Mike after that point?

(Obviously there might be a different response to different levels of assholery, so answer whatever type(s) interest(s) you.)

I think Evan’s overprotective phase happens relatively early in his and Mike's post-capture relationship; Evan generally acts very spiteful and hateful (partly to cover up the inherent fear of Mike he still has ingrained in him, but also because his whole world has been turned upside down and he's scared and has no one else but Mike around to blame) for six months at the very least. Evan finds Mike's old letters and his faith in William gets shattered, thus shattering Evan’s world once more; Evan is more angry and lost than ever before, and he doesn't know what to do with the hope that maybe Mike did-- does-- care about him after all. There's another month or two of Evan, like, equal parts lashing out AND reaching out to Mike through the trauma, before it suddenly occurs to Evan "hey, Mike knew that William was dangerous and would try to use me and just left me there anyway." Cue even more lashing out before Mike finally has his speech that makes Evan realize oh, Mike was just a scared kid back then and I didn't help matters very much; aka, the realization that Mike is just a person and not Big Brother Who Was Supposed to Care About Me and nothing else.

This realization is what sparks Evan’s overprotectiveness in the first place. It's, like, equal parts guilt over the hand he played in doing this to Mike and fear because Mike has finally started to care about him and care FOR him and he doesn't know what he'll do if something bad happens to Mike. And there's a big element of, like, Evan can tell now how badly Mike actually treats himself and Ev finds it unnerving.

Annnnnd, now for the purpose of that whole recap: Evan’s overprotective phase happens while he and Mike are still reclusive and very much isolated from society; Mike hasn't even met Jeremy yet at this point. So, there's not actually a lot of opportunity for Evan to catch someone doing something to hurt Mike. It would probably have to happen during a trip to the store or a fast food restaurant, or one of the times when Mike brings Ev to the parlor he's taking an apprenticeship at or to one of the side jobs he's working at.

So, now I'm imagining some absolute jerk going off at Mike when they're at a store or at one of Mikey’s jobs. It would probably be an adult going off at Mike, and adults still heavily trigger Evan’s anxiety and ptsd (both because William conditioned Evan to stay wary of adults-- little kid Evan can't let anything slip to an adult if he's too afraid to talk to them, right?-- and William just Being Abusive has made Evan wary of adults, especially adult men). Because of this, I doubt Evan would, like, directly go after the adult insulting/humiliating Mike; he's not going to say anything to the person, and definitely won't scream or try to physically overpower the adult. but I can see him doing something "pranky."

Except Evan would be awful at pranks. There's actually this one scene in Scrubs where a guy named JD pranks this girl by dumping a bucket of cold water while she's in the shower, and JD narrates that the girl isn't so good at pranks before the camera cuts to the girl obliviously throwing a raccoon in with JD while *he's* in the shower and he comes out with soooo many scratches, lmao. Anyway, I am now imagining that Evan has his raccoon with him in the store, maybe snuck in his jacket or a bag or smth, and Evan follows the jerk into the bathroom before shoving the raccoon under the stall with the person and listens happily to the person's screams of pain and terror :)

That's probably a bit extreme for Evan, though. I can see him stealing the person's shopping cart while they're distracted and rolling it away, maybe tipping it over or rolling it into some shelves. He tries hiding behind Mike when the person turns their anger on him, and Mike just grabs Evan and bolts out of there. He wants to be mad at Evan, especially because Evan is very specifically not supposed to be calling attention to himself or doing anything to trigger his ptsd, but like... that was pretty funny and he's kinda proud of his little bro.

If it's a younger teen or a little kid somehow insulting/hurting Mike, then Evan might try snapping at them or getting physical, but then again, Evan also has ptsd and trauma from all the kids he killed and let be killed when he was with William, so maybe Evan wouldn't try anything directly. Not really sure.

Anyway, like I said, Evan’s overprotectiveness is a result of that Realization about Mike being an Actual Person; it's a very intense and rather unhealthy overprotectiveness, and while it's good that Evan is starting to actually care about things outside of William again, his overprotectiveness is something he has to work on in his therapy sessions. He has to both get it down to healthy level and learn that the ways he's trying to protect Mike aren't altogether healthy on their own. Like, there doesn't actually need to be a whole story about someone being a jerk to Mike in the store to make Ev lash out; Evan will growl and try tugging Mike away if someone so much as says hello to Mike or tries asking what aisle the cereal is in.

Though, just because Evan works on the overprotectiveness in therapy doesn't mean it goes away entirely. It crops back up when Evan is stressed and when Ev can tell Mike is overly stressed, too. I'd imagine that if/when Henry comes back into the picture post-capture, Mike’s stress about the situation once again triggers Evan’s overprotectiveness.

[anon-e-miss]

I love to hate CD, so what’s on my mind right now is what if Prowl actually did date and love CD and then got dumped. And when CD’s next husband died, he wiped his own memory and went back to Prowl. And Prowl is in a bit of a Stockholm situation with this relationship because of gaslighting, manipulation, (needles), abuse, etc.

No matter how strong or smart you are, you can fall for those tricks. And for centuries CD toys with Prowl, leaves him, and then comes back after forgetting his next ex. And all Prowl can tell himself is ‘he never forgets ME. I must mean something more to him’ because of the sunk cost fallacy. Like. He can’t admit to himself that he’s being used because that means his only redeeming quality—his intelligence—is a ‘sham’ because he would be an idiot to put up with this if it wasn’t something that mattered. And he can’t be an idiot.

(You don’t have to be an idiot to get trapped in an abusive relationship. For those reading this who maybe think otherwise)

Anyway. The fixing-IDW scenario is just…centuries of manipulation and abuse and then CD gets his own husband killed but blames Prowl. After he literally needled Prowl and said ‘you made me do this’—not that Prowl remembers that, just like he doesn’t remember any of the times he made up his mind to leave over the centuries—and he throws him off a freakin cliff.

Except instead of the Constructicons picking him up at the bottom—the mechs forcibly installed in his mind—I want it to be Jazz. Someone who could put the pieces back together and figure out that CD has been deliberately isolating Prowl by spreading rumors

Optional: He asks /why/ he sent Overlord on the ship. Or he knows it was because it was a choice between 200 soldiers and 200k civilians. Where he could be most effectively contained. It was the only choice that made sense, since his ununtrium reinforced spark chamber made white boxing impossible. And they physically couldn’t kill him—even the full blast of the LL’s guns didn’t kill him. The DJD only managed it because the…oh, was it Helex? The one with the blades. Anyway the blades were reinforced with ununtrium, which was the only reason they pierced his armor. (Another phase sixer literally survived being stepped on by a cityformer)

Meanwhile the g1 scenario is Jazz figuring it out some other way. Not sure how. I’ve mostly been thinking about how I would fix idw since you posted about it. Also CD having been the one to mindwipe Dominus for his role as agent 113 because that would’ve packed a punch. (And Rewind obviously not being allergic to uv light)

Sigh. If only… Even one shred of dignity or integrity…

Jazz would definitely want answers from Prowl. He'd want to understand because he's worked long enough with Prowl to know he has integrity and is forever weighing cost/benefit.

He would absolutely agree with Prowl on getting Overload well away before any shit.

CD being the ultimate villain would have been so fucking good. :(

[neutronstarchild]

Advice from a Writing Veteran

I’ve been writing Inuyasha fic for over 2 years now. It started as a really wonderful escape from the pandemic and has served as my creative outlet, and I’m still going strong!

So I wanted to offer a couple of nuggets of wisdom gleaned from a writer with over a hundred stories and 20 ships that I hope will offer some small amount of reassurance to everyone who puts words into a doc then shares them with the world.

1 - Replying to comments begets more comments Let’s say you want to write a story, and want to post it to AO3. It feels wonderful getting comments from people who enjoyed this thing you made for them all. I always love seeing that Inbox (1) on my dashboard for AO3.

This might not be able to start the flow of comments, but it will keep it going, and that is... reply to the comments. Especially if you can reply to them in a way that is heartfelt that is conversational. It makes that person who was maybe apprehensive think “oh! this person liked my comment! i will write more!” And that new commenter may now write comments on more of your fics and chapters going forward!

2 - Ships Reign Supreme I’m going to go out on a limb and say that my writing style and quality don’t change a whole bunch from ship to ship, so things like kudos on stories I’ve written have been able to tell me a lot about writing for fandoms.

If you write a rarepair, even if it is the most profound and exciting thing you’ve ever written, it will probably get a lot less engagement than the popular ships. So never beat yourself up if you created a thing that people didn’t vibe with. It’s part of writing.

Additionally, the people who follow you often have followed you because you write a specific ship they like. It means that, at least at first, jumping ship to a different popular ship is not going to have the engagement necessarily follow. That’s okay and keep at it!

3 - There absolutely is a zeitgeist, but chasing it can be futile I honestly never know which one of my stories is going to resonate with people. Some I adored and really thought would touch people fell sort of flat, and that’s okay! There is absolutely a measure of “what people want to read” that goes into which stories get popular, but from experience you really can never predict what it’s going to be. Yes, a popular ship that is smutty (especially in Inuyasha) has a pretty high chance of being better received than a dark MCD fic, but honestly, it’s hard to tell.

4 - People really do like completed fics. Yeah.... I have a backyard full of an unnatural number of plot bunnies I want to round up. It’s what’s fun about writing, letting your mind fold around something new and exciting and live in the scenario of your making. But there are a lot of people who won’t start reading your work until it’s got that ✅ down on the lower right on AO3. Never feel ashamed if you don’t get there, because writing should be about you, but it’s important to be 💯 and say that writing incompletes will somewhat lessen your audience.

5 - Write what sparks joy No one on earth can perfectly predict the zeitgeist, write impossibly perfect stories over and over and over inside of the audience’s preferred ship. So chasing after it is just going to dishearten you. Instead, it always feels better to write for yourself. Which plot bunny is the fluffiest and cutest plot bunny in your backyard? That’s the one you write. You know why? Because people can tell when you had fun writing a thing. It somehow manifests in your writing. And writing that is fun. Even a MCD ultra rarepair with a hated character written because you love writing that will bring people who find it and read it with the same joy it brought you writing it.

I’m not saying "only write for yourself,” because that’s dishonest. It feels wonderful for someone to love what you poured a piece of yourself into, and it’s okay to want that. But... it feels a whole lot better getting that when the thing you made was made because you loved it.

6 - Try to ignore the trolls I don’t know what is happening or why, but the number of mean-spirited comments that people are getting has been going up. The internet is a cesspool and all that. The people who leave comments like that on your stories are not people deserving of your attention. They’re people who can’t do it themselves so they tear others down because they can’t click a Back button.

7 - Build a support crew This is the last piece of advice. Find friends who will read your stuff and give you what you need. Are you someone who does this to smile and needs someone to cheerlead and encourage you on? Heck yesss!!! There are absolutely people who would love to do that for you. Are you someone who wants to improve your craft and needs honest advice on how to get better? Those people exist too. Find them. It might take some looking, and you may want to think about what you will do in return, but finding your people means... having a crew who will read your MCD rarepair and encourage you on. They will lament the zeitgeist getting really really into sex pollen (which you totally don’t get), they will help you find the ending to that incomplete fic you want to complete, and they will help you remember that writing is fun... (oh and probably help you put the comments by the trolls into perspective and reassurance.) Heck, maybe one of those precious wonderful commenters (who you are now replying to!) is an excellent place to start!

Writing is so much fun, and it’s made more fun to get to live in these universes with our friends. I hope you all do wonderful things with your writing, whether that’s writing the next big popular fic in your fandom, whether that’s a crackfic drabble, whether that’s a single scene that you just want to write until you get there. All of these things will find someone that they touch. Thank you for writing and putting these great things out into the world.

From, Neutron

[aadagio]

Speak Now TV First Impressions

I do this thing with every new Taylor release where I go through the album, track by track, listening to one song at a time via the YouTube lyric videos and then pausing for a few minutes to jot down my initial thoughts and first impressions. I started doing it with Lover back in 2019, and I've done it with every album since.

I usually just post these as a thread on Twitter, but since I'm back being active on Tumblr again, I thought I'd also share here. I did listen to Speak Now TV out of order, with the Vault tracks first, so I'm just going to list everything in the exact order I played it below:

Electric Touch: I got chills all over my arms. All I kept thinking was, "This would have been KILLER to listen to in high school!" I did feel that Patrick's voice felt subdued by the production here, which wasn't my favorite, but the way he and Taylor sing "to-o-ou-ouch" together and their alternating vocals on the bridge are fantastic. Also excited to have a new Taylor Time! I want to see this one performed live SO badly.

When Emma Falls In Love: Still not 100% sure how I feel about this one yet. Probably the least exciting one from the Vault, for me personally. I absolutely love the line “like if Cleopatra grew up in a small town” though.

I Can See You: So sultry and sexy. I loved it immediately. I got strong 60s spy movie vibes. I also really want to know who this is about? I know what it makes me think of (April/May 2013), but what about Taylor??

Castles Crumbling: Oh my GOD. Possibly one of my favorite TS collabs of all time??? The way Hayley and Taylor’s voices harmonize with one another is hypnotic. This felt so ghostly and morbid, like a sister to Haunted and even a forefather to Nothing New? Biggest stand out to me so far.

Foolish One: Everything about this, down to the title, feels like a direct attack. There was absolutely a point in my life (in 2010, no less) when I would have played this CONSTANTLY. Maybe I should still do that now 🙃

Timeless: I started sobbing as soon as the first chorus hit. I recognized Marjorie in the lyric video thumbnail and knew that this one would probably make me emotional, but I wasn't expecting just how quickly it would reduce me to tears. My boyfriend overheard me crying and came out to the living room to hug me. Completely devastated me, but I love it. An even bigger stand out than CC!

I had to take a break to collect myself, and iced some cookies I made to celebrate the album release. My biggest thought with the Vault tracks was just, "Damn, I wish these had been out in the world back in 2010 because I really could have used them in high school." At least they’re here now though.

Superman: Listened while icing cookies because I knew that it would be the last song in my listen-through otherwise, and I didn't want to end the session on a sour note, because I do NOT like Taylor's intended subject on this song, or the person I used to personally associate it with when I was younger. It’s a good song! Just not one I gravitate toward anymore.

Mine: I immediately noticed the lack of earnestness, youth and twang in her voice on this recording. I don’t know why, but it was hard to get past. I just know this song SO well after all these years, and this version felt almost jarringly different.

Sparks Fly: This was better. Still not the same as the original, but a better mix of old and new, in my opinion. Also loved the inclusion of the Speak Now World Tour footage in the lyric video.

Back To December: Another one where I just know it so well that I can notice every single difference. Some of the vocal inflections were not my fave, but overall it’s another good mix of old and new. (Also I hope Taylor Lautner is having an incredible day, as he deserves.)

Speak Now: Right out of the gate, I hated her vocals on this one, which crushed me. This song was one I had been looking forward to hearing the most. As I kept listening, I was trying to reserve my judgement, but by the end I had to accept that I just do not like this version. The lack of youthful exuberance in her voice was extremely noticeable, and I felt that was to the detriment of the song. I'm so upset to say I don't like this one.

Dear John: Who else up wanting back their girlhood? Vocally, this was beautiful. This one transcends time, and actually hurts more to hear sung at 32. You can feel how her voice has changed from utter sadness to bitter anger. I loved how she completely capitalized, "OVER YOUR SAD EMPTY TOWN" in the lyric video.

Mean: THANK GOD THE TWANG IS BACK!!!!! If ever there was a song we needed it on, it was this one!! (Please can we keep this energy for Debut TV????? 🙏🏼)

The Story of Us: The whole time I was just thinking, "Okay!!!! Yes!!!!!" Vocally, this is exactly what I was hoping for. Killed it.

Never Grow Up: Had me sobbing again. I remember listening to this for the first time at 17 and thinking, “Is this going to be life one day?” and now I’m 30 and my friends have kids and I’m in my grown up apartment and it IS all so much colder than I thought it would be. This is another one that hurts more to hear sung at 32 than at 19. I feel like I can remember my whole life when I listen to it, which just makes the tears come harder. I had to stop and grab tissues from my room and hug my boyfriend for a bit before coming back to finish the album.

Enchanted: PERFECTION. So good. I adored the lyric video transition from her Speak Now World Tour performance of the song into her singing it at The Eras Tour.

Better Than Revenge: NO. Nope. I could write a dissertation at this point about why I think the lyric change was a massive, massive mistake, but y’all already know. This was NOT the move at all and it will never hit as well as the original. I'm so disappointed.

Innocent: So good. Again, another one that hits different with age, especially hearing her sing, “Thirty-two and still growing up now.” I was remembering watching her perform it live at the VMAs for the first time as I was listening. Such a special moment that KW then came out and absolutely ruined with Runaway. I still firmly believe that this song is way, way too good for the person it’s about.

Haunted: Right off the bat all I could think was, "Uhhhhh what the FUCK happened to the production here????" That new echo-y layering effect is NOT IT and ruined the song for me.

Last Kiss: Immediately noticed different, sharper instrumentation with the harp, and I did not like it. Vocally it just didn't hit the same either. Instead of deeply sad, it just feels sort of lifeless. I probably put too much stock into this one because it means so much to me, but even still. I fully gave up on expecting the shaky breath to get a repeat feature because I just don’t think you can recreate something like that, but damn. This version just does not feel right to me and I’m sad about it.

Long Live: Tears AGAIN, this song always always gets me. This version is perfection, another timeless one. I think they made the right move by having the lyric video be comprised completely of footage of Taylor performing it on the Speak Now World Tour.

Ours: This was my absolute favorite song on the album back in the day. I always loved how you could hear the smile in her voice as she sang, and unfortunately I didn’t really feel that at all on this version. At least we still had the giggle toward the end! Overall I think it’s still solid, just not the same, and that was disappointing.

My final thoughts after just one listen-through feel so up and down, which I was not expecting at all! I feel so conflicted and disappointed.

With Fearless TV, it took me a little bit to come around fully to the vocal changes. You just can't recapture that same youthful earnestness that she was singing with as a teenager. But when I got the vinyl in the mail and put it on, I don't know, something just finally clicked for me, and now I love it.

With Red TV, I was fully on board from the jump, and I consider the TV to be the definitive version of the album. But with Speak Now, it's nowhere close. I feel like half the original songs I really loved the new versions of, and half were huge let downs. That makes me so sad to say.

I know it's only been one listen, and if there's anything I've learned from tracking my first impressions over the past 5 years, it's that my opinions will absolutely morph and change as time goes on and I listen more and more. I just never expected to feel disappointment like this.

[fall-of-enselia]

Hi, I’m Bleu, and welcome to my other blog! This one’s simply to keep track of all my FoE stuff, as well as allow suggestions from outsiders as to how I should continue the story. Here’s a basic description and some rules (Please read the full post, if you have the time)

General Summary

15 year old Emberlyn Sharp has just lived through the worst year of her life. Her parents just got a divorce, her sister went off to college on the other side of the country, her best friend moved away, she has to spend every day in English literature sitting shoulder to shoulder with her god awful excuse of an “ex girlfriend,” and worst of all, strange, almost paranormal events have been happening all around town. People are waking up to their mailboxes dissolved into acidic black sludge. Completely unidentifiable plants are showing up everywhere. But worst of all, a mysterious crystal she found in the woods when she was little starts making these god-awful screeching noises every time she opens its case.

Conveniently, suspiciously, around this time, a rumor starts spreading around the school that hidden within the restricted section of the library, there rests an old book containing a spell that will send anyone unfortunate enough to read its pages to hell. Now, under normal circumstances, Emberlyn would pass these rumors as a load of bullcrap, but with all the weird, paranormal events going on around her, her curiosity can’t help but be sparked. So, with a fully-packed suitcase, her mysterious screaming rock, and some help from the other school designated weird girl, she brakes into the school, and makes her trip to the library at 10:00 o’clock at night.

Little did she know, all those rumors would turn out to be true. Well, minus the portal to hell part.

Instead of hell, the floor gives way to a completely new world. One that is undeniably beautiful, but torn to shreds by war, disease, and natural disasters. She is thrust headfirst into a wasteland of warring nations, a plague that causes people to grow poisonous flowers out of their bodies, shadow demons falling from the sun, colonialism, and a crooked world history built upon lies. All tracing back to a god amongst gods who calls herself Enselia, hell-bent on tearing this world to shreds. But why, if Enselia is the high celestial, a creature whose duty is to be the all-seeing-eye and protector of this place, be trying to destroy it? Why does she hate this place so much? And is she even supposed to be the high celestial all along? Well, this angry little lesbian and five other cool people wanted dead by god are about to find out!

Oh yeah, and that screaming rock of hers? Turns out it’s a sentient dagger with enough energy to cause the highest of high celestials to spontaneously combust! How fun :D

Planning

So, my plans for this absolute mess of a series is to make it into a webcomic series, and a rather expansive one at that! Yes, I did say series. I intend to make Fall of Enselia into a multi-volume series with a planned 6-7 books (not including side material.) I doubt it’ll ever go into print, but it still feels more natural to me to structure each page and book like a physical comic book, so sadly, you’re not getting any infinite scrolls from me. If you’re wondering where you’ll be able to find it, I’ll be posting each chapter on Webtoon under the username Im_Tired1124. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to keep a consistent update schedule, but my current plan is to try and post one chapter every two months once I get the storyboards, script, and plot nailed down. As of writing this, I’m still working on the storyboard and script for the prologue of book one. Though I’ve had this story slowly forming in my head for about 2-4 years now, I kind of did the thing where you write down nothing about your story, while planning out every book, character beat, villain motivation, animated spin-off, and anime opening for your story lol. It’s definitely not going to be out for a while, but my current plan is to, hopefully, get the prologue and first three chapters published in the timeframe of July-December of 2024. In the meantime, I’ll be using this account to publish concept art, reference sheets, work in progress, and lore notes while working on the main event. It should also come with the expectation that I probably won’t be posting on my main account as much.(granted, I tend to be slow as hell with drawing, and posting things on there anyway) So, as much as it may pain me, I’m going to have to go on hiatus with my Omori fanart. And also probably my fanfiction, but hey, don’t tell anyone I said that!

Granted, I will let little bits of FoE content slip through on my main account, but most of them are probably gonna be more on the unofficial content/shitposty side (maybe even a spoiler here and there :)). This is where all the juicy story stuff goes!

Do’s and Do Not’s

Alright, here’s where all my rules for the series go!

You have my full permission to:

Make fanart

Form headcanons

Cosplay my characters

Make OC’s

Write fanfictions (so long as they are appropriate)

Order commissions of my characters (I don’t have a PayPal rn, so everything is free for now, yay!)

Draw them with other characters/your own OC’s

Take inspiration from my OC’s and comics

Give me advice on writing, send me sources on how to accurately represent different cultures, and tell me if I’ve accidentally done anything wrong or offensive. This story revolves heavily around different cultures and marginalized people trying to resist oppression and forced hegemony. However, I am fully aware that as a moderately culturally detatched half-Jamaican who hasn’t had to face too much racism or scrutiny for my appearance and cultural background, I can very easily screw things up. So, constructive criticism is always welcome ^•^

Ship my characters, I couldn’t give less of a shit! Just don’t turn anyone’s family tree into a family wreath, or get any of my OC’s arrested.

Genuinely, I have no problem with fan works, and I’d be absolutely overjoyed to see people engaging in my work in these ways! However I do still have standards within my ToS, so…

Things you may NOT do with my creative works (and just general stuff you shouldn’t do):

Trace or steal my art or OC’s

Use my characters in insensitive, harmful, bigoted, or political material.

“Reference” my works to the point you’ve just made the Wish.com knockoff of my OC’s.

Stalk, harass, or send death threats to people who disagree with you, or myself. Y’all should know better than that.

Spread misinformation about myself, my motives, the story, or other people I associate with just because you don’t like them. You have better things to do with your life, so stop making shit up and go outside. Don’t like, don’t engage.

For the love of Mangoes, under no circumstances is anyone allowed to make NSFW of my characters. Nope, not even the adults. Not only are most of the lead characters in FoE teenagers, but I also based there personalities and life experiences of of my own, as well as the experiences of friends and family of mine. Look, I hate to use the, “As a minor, this makes me uncomfortable,” card, but god damnit, as a minor this makes me real uncomfortable! Now, this ban may lift (AT LEAST ON ADULT CHARACTERS) once I get older, and am more comfortable with people interpreting my works that way, but right now, no. Don’t do it. Keep those ideas in the rough draft bin of your brain. That’s nasty. Don’t do it. Granted, I don’t have a problem with sexual humor in fan works, my sense of humor irl is already pretty… let’s just say, risqué, anyways, but as has already been established, don’t write or draw any of my characters getting it on.

Lastly, A few content warnings for the story to come.

Content warnings for Fall of Enselia will include

Violence

Horror

Gore

Disturbing imagery

Emetophobia

Racism

Potential unreality

Eating disorders

Mild religious themes

Bullying

Kidnapping

Child abuse

Unhealthy/Abusive relationships

Implied substances abuse

Murder

War

Death

Swearing

Generalized bigotry

Though all of these subjects are included if FoE, that doesn’t mean I condone them in any way. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. These things are included to show just how god-awful they are, and hopefully to encourage them to stop. Granted, most of the heavier themes in FoE aren’t anything worse than what you find in the average WoF book, but they’re still pretty heavy things, and I would advise all readers to see with caution if these subjects could trigger you.

Anyways, that’s all I have to say for now. Have a good day or night, take your vitamins, eat a good breakfast, stay hydrated, and make sure to wash your hands! 💙

[callsign-magnolia]

I Hope You Dance // Ch. 11

MATURE CONTENT (18+)

A/N: This is cross posted to my Wattpad, so if this seems familiar that is why!

TW: Mental abuse, emotional abuse, slight physical abuse, death and loss.

Description: When Caila meets Rooster, sparks fly. But, she's already married, to a man who she thought loved her, and won't let her go. Rooster will fight for her, he just has to convince Caila to fight for herself.

Word Count: 6.2k

Chapter 10 | Masterlist

He stared at the frame, looking almost lost. I pursed my lips, setting the wine glasses down on the coffee table. "I um, I forgot that was there." His head snapped to me. "This is what you hid from me?" He asked holding it up. I nodded and started pulling on my thumbs, "Why didn't you tell me?" I took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling trying to keep from crying. "I wasn't ready." He furrowed his brows as I sat on the couch. "You can trust me." I shook my head. "It's not that I don't trust you, Rooster. It's just," I wiped my eyes as he came over, crouching down in front of me, resting one of his hands on my knee as the other held the frame. 

"I told Phoenix that if I started telling people, then they would have their own assumptions about it. I just wanted to keep it to myself for a little while longer." He licked his lips. "Phoenix knows?" I nodded. "She was there when they told me." I carefully took the frame from him, staring at it. "This was the entire reason I decided to leave. I couldn't raise a baby with him, not in that environment. Aaron had locked up all the funds, I only had cash he would give me and I was out." He moved to sit behind me on the couch, wrapping his arms around my waist, kissing the back of my head. "I called my mom and she bought the tests and I went to her house to take them. I spilled everything to her and my dad. From me and you, to Aaron holding you against me, I sang like a cicada in summertime. When I told dad I was leaving, I asked him to do something, anything to keep you safe and I guess shipping you out was the best bet. I got Phoenix's number from mom and called her as soon as I got home, I told her I was leaving and why. She had a week of deployment left and she told me to go to San Francisco, I went to get my documents from the safe and I realized he changed the code."

I took a deep breath to keep from choking up. "I realized he took out a ten million dollar life insurance policy on me, he had pushed me down the staircase the day before which I caught myself. When I left his office he was in the hallway. I dropped my phone when he grabbed me and I yelled for Phoenix to call my mama. He shoved me into his car and if I hadn't smacked my head on the frame then I would've climbed back out. We were just yelling at each other the whole time. He was taking us up the mountain and he drove us right off. I managed to pull my seatbelt around me before we hit the ground. We slid down the side of the mountain until we hit a downed tree, which made us flip multiple times before we landed upside down."

I wiped my cheeks as I took a deep breath and looked back to him, he almost looked dead inside as tears ran down his blank face. "Oh, roo." I turned and sat sideways in his lap, kissing his cheek as I wrapped my arm around him. "I was in a medically induced coma for a week and when I woke up, Phoenix was an absolute wreck next to my bed. The doctor told me all my injuries, and Phoenix held me when he told me I had a placental abruption." I saw his brows furrow slightly, and his lip twitch. "My placenta separated from my uterus and my baby didn't survive." I choked on my words, leaning into his neck as I started breaking down. "They had to do a D & C while I was in my coma because my body couldn't do it itself." I sobbed as he pulled me closer. 

"It's not fair." I felt his lips on my head. "I hate him, I wish he had died in that crash. He doesn't deserve to live after he took everything from me!" I pushed off him, breathing heavily. "Mags." I shook my head. "Why me? Huh?" I threw my hands out. "Do I not deserve to be fucking happy?! Is that it?!" I grabbed one of the wine glasses, launching it at the wall in front of me, wine going everywhere. "I have spent, the last twelve years in misery because of him!" I screamed out, finally letting everything out. "He took everything! My happiness, my sanity, my independence! Was it not fucking enough?! NO! HE HAD TO GO AND TAKE MY FUCKING WILL TO LIVE-" My tears blurred my sight as I grabbed something else from the coffee table, holding it behind my head, ready to launch it. "AND MY BABY!" 

"Caila!" Rooster grabbed me, holding my waist and my hand that was behind me. "Honey, look." He carefully lowered my hand so I could see what I had. "Don't do that to yourself." He said as the frame came into my view. Sobs wracking my body as I realized, I almost broke it. "Come on." He said picking me up, carrying me upstairs to my room. He laid me on the bed as he pulled back the covers, shifting me under them as I sobbed, hardly being able to breathe. He crouched down next to me, grabbing my hand in both of his and kissing it. "I'm going to clean up downstairs and put the frame back, I will be right back to come sleep with you okay?" I inhaled deeply as I nodded. 

"Dahlia!" I heard her thunderous footsteps rush upstairs and into the room where he invited her onto the bed. "Stay with momma, watch out for her." She huffed like she understood, moving up the bed to lay with her back against mine. He was gone for awhile until he came back, a glass of water and a pill bottle. Somehow he made Dahlia move without a fight, crawling in behind me and pulling me close. "I love you pretty girl, so much." My sobs started again at his words. "Let it out." He said as he pulled me even closer, almost squeezing me. "I'm right here, pretty girl, I've got you." I was so grateful he was holding me, but I could swear I felt a few tears on my neck. 

~~~

I felt better the next day, having gotten everything out in the open. Rooster woke me up for training this morning with fresh coffee and a kiss that spilled over with love. He never asked about the baby, just how I was feeling. "Good morning. Your target, the Uranium enrichment plant will be up and running sooner than we anticipated." We all looked to each other, "In ten days." I took a deep breath, my pinky wrapped around Rooster's. "As a result, we have moved your mission up by one week. We can't risk the valley being contaminated with radiation." I nodded my head, out of habit to show I was listening. 

"Sir, no one here has successfully flown a low-level course." I pursed my lips. No group has made it successfully, which makes this that much scarier. "You will be moving on anyway. Captain." Warlock stepped out of the way for Mav. "We have one week left to focus on the second phase. It's the most difficult stage of this mission. It's a pop-up strike with a steep dive, requiring nothing less than two consecutive miracles. Two pairs of f-18s will fly in a welded wing formation." This means we all have to play nice, I looked over at Hangman who had his head resting on his fist. "Teamwork. Precise coordination of these aircraft is essential to both the mission's success and your survival." I would never want to strip Bradley of this opportunity but the thought of losing him, I don't know if I really could imagine a world without him.

We were set to start our hop and I was standing with Rooster, Hangman, Payback and Fanboy when I heard someone scream my name. "LIEUTANANT WILDER!" My head whipped around to find Rear Admiral Abbott storming over, a familiar blonde boy behind him. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE SCREAMING AT MY KID IN FRONT OF HIS ENTIRE SCHOOL?!" My eyebrows raised as we fell into a salute. "I SHOULD HAVE YOU DEMOTED FOR THAT BULL SHIT! GIVE ME A GOOD ENOUGH REASON! NOW!" The boy was standing behind his father, snickering. "Sir, your son was being very disrespectful to-" "IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU THOUGHT HE WAS BEING DISRESPECTFUL OR NOT! YOU WILL NOT ADDRESS MY KID!" "Sir, he told a young lady she was ugly. I think anyone would find that disrespectful." I thought this mans vein in his forehead was about to pop.

"MY SON WILL DO AS HE PLEASES!" He turned around, walking away and I just couldn't help it. "Would you let someone talk to your daughter that way?" He slowly turned around with a look that would have me twelve feet under if possible. "What I do and don't do is none of your business!" I pursed my lips. "No, but it would be Admiral Benjamin's business." He furrowed his brows. "Your son helped humiliate Admiral Benjamin's granddaughter, Amelia, in front of her entire school. With all due respect, sir." I spat at him. "I had to comfort a distraught Amelia in my car when I picked her up because she was so upset. I think Admiral Benjamin would be very unhappy to hear that his granddaughter was made a fool of by a Rear Admiral's kid."

He stared at me for a moment. "Why did you stop yelling at her? Dad?!" He ushered him back. "Stay away from my kid." He shut down and dragged his son away. "Don't wanna be around the little shit anyway." I muttered, turning around to see the guys holding in their laughter. "Let it out." They laughed loudly, their laughter being infectious. "GUYS! LET'S GO!" Maverick yelled. "Let's get this shit show rolling then." I muttered as we all went to get loaded in. 

~~~

"How's that laser, Bob?" I asked as we went inverted. "Give me ten seconds!" I grunted as the pressure pushed me back in my seat. "You have five." I said as we turned right side up. "GOT IT!" "Bombs away!" I dropped, just narrowly missing the target as we pulled up. It was like Dahlia times a hundred sitting on my chest, I was struggling to take a breath until we reached the top. "Phoenix? Bob? You still with me?" 

"We're here!" I sighed in relief as we brought it in for landing. That was our first run of the day and while it wasn't that bad, it wasn't good either. "We have to get good at this if we want this mission to be a success guys, seriously." I snapped as Phoenix and Bob came over. "Woah, first off-" "I'm sorry, this isn't y'all's fault. Last night was bad and I took it out on you two, I'm sorry." Phoenix dropped her hand, eyeing my suspiciously. "What happened?" My eyes flashed to Bob who looked concerned. "I'll just go." Bob said before turning around. "Dammit and now I feel bad for running him off." 

"Magnolia." Phoenix said as she grabbed my shoulders. "What happened?" I took a deep breath. "I invited Rooster to go out with Penny's daughter Amelia, her friends and me. I was telling him about what happened at the school and he told me I would be a good mom." She pulled me into a hug. "He also found the picture frame last night." Her eyes widened as she pulled back. "The one with your pregnancy test?" I nodded. "I told him everything, and god, Phoenix he really is perfect." I said wiping my eyes as tears filled my bottom lids. "He just held me and never batted an eye when I launched my wine glass across the room. The only time he stopped me was when I grabbed the frame without realizing it." She raised her brows. "Aaron took so much from me, I know that, he knows that. But I'm finally able to help myself heal with Rooster. Even though I still haven't forgiven myself for the way I treated him, and I don't think I ever will." 

She gave a small chuckle. "It's not funny, 'Nix." She shook her head. "He was angry for awhile and then he just, wasn't anymore. I know he wanted to be but he just couldn't. He told you he forgave you, right?" I nodded. "That first night at the Hard Deck." She smiled at me. "Stop being so hard on yourself, you hurt him, but you did it to save his life. How many other people would've done that?" I sighed. "I don't know, I wish I could say anybody." She shrugged. "I think everyone hopes to find a love like you two have."  I chuckled at her words. "You'll find it, Nat." 

~~~

"Oh my god, you know one thing I miss since my parents are gone?" Rooster asked as we laid on the back porch swing together. He was laying across it, me lying back on his chest as his arms were wrapped around me. I was playing with his fingers, just soaking in the moment. "What?" He chuckled. "My mom was a great cook, your food kind of reminds me of her." I smiled. "Yeah?" He nodded. "She would just, get in the kitchen and start tossing things in pots and pans and somehow it always came out so good." I chuckled. 

"That's how most of my cooking goes." He kissed the back of my head. This was the life I dreamed of having, and now, here I was. "After I got married and everything went to hell in a handbasket, I never thought I would know peace like this." It was quiet for a moment. "For a while, I didn't think I would either." He muttered as he buried his face in my hair. My heart sunk and I leaned up, hugging my knees to my chest. "Honey, I didn't mean it like that." I nodded and turned so I could look at him, him laying a hand on my thigh. "I know, it's just, no matter how many times you say you forgive me. I can't seem to forgive myself. I'm so-" "If you say you're sorry one more time, Mags. I swear to god, I will make you regret saying it in the best ways possible." I raised a brow. "Is that a threat?" He leaned in real close, his nose almost brushing mine. 

"It's a promise." I kept a straight face. "I'msosorryrooster!" I said before jumping up and rushing inside. I was halfway up the stairs when he caught me. "You just love testing limits don't you?" He asked as one arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me in close, his other hand wrapping around my throat, tilting my head back so he could look into my eyes. "When you make a threat like that, then yes." I panted out, extremely turned on by the fact his hand covered the entire front portion of my neck. A growl erupted from his chest, almost making my knees give out. "Come on, pretty girl. Let's get you upstairs." He went to move but I held my ground. "What's wrong with right here on the staircase?" 

It was deadly silent and still for a moment, until his hand left my neck and threaded into the hair on the back of my head. Before I knew it he had me bent over on the staircase, leaning over me till I could feel his breath in my ear. "You sure you're okay with this?" I nodded and moaned as he yanked my shorts down. "Rooster, either fuck me or let me up!" He gently tugged on my hair. "You've got such a dirty mouth and I fuckin' love it!" I moaned as he held my hair. "Harder." He pulled harder, making a high pitched moan escape from my mouth. 

He moaned and pressed against me, his hard cock resting against my thigh in his jeans. "You feel what you do to me?" I nodded as he released my hair. "Yeah." He chuckled and kissed my temple. "You want it, pretty girl?" I nodded. "Need your cock." I moaned out as he pressed into me harder. "What do you say?" He asked as I heard his zipper on his jeans. "Please." He chuckled and turned my head to kiss me. "Mmm, such a good girl for me, huh?" I nodded as he leaned back, quickly slipping his jeans off. 

He spread my legs, running a finger between my folds. "Fuck, you got so wet, so fast honey." I moaned as he quickly slipped a finger in, then back out. "Only for you." I moaned as he ran his cock between my legs, just grazing my entrance. "Only for me, huh?" I nodded as he brushed some hair out of my face, tilting my head back and kissing my forehead. I gazed up at him, his brown eyes staring into mine as he slammed into me, completely, making me yelp. "Shh, pretty girl. Did I hurt you?" I shook my head. "No." He smirked down at me as he kissed my forehead. "Good, that's never my intention honey." 

He pulled out and slammed back into me, quickly setting a bruising pace as one hand held my side and the other one was around my neck, forcing my head back. "Oh, I'll never get tired of you taking me like this. It's like a perfect fit for me." I moaned out as I felt him in my lower stomach, my arched back making me feel it more. "Bradley. Bradley." I chanted as he railed me on the staircase. 

He shifted both hands to hold my neck and pull me back onto him. "Hm, you like when I fuck you like this? Like I'm using you?" I nodded. "Yeah." He chuckled as he slowed down, making me whine. "What's wrong, pretty girl?" He asked teasingly, as he almost completely stilled. "Harder." I moaned out and he chuckled. "What was that? I couldn't hear you, Mags." I cried out as he stopped completely. "Fuck me, Rooster. Hard." He chuckled as he immediately pulled me back onto him again, ramming into me hard and fast. 

"You like that, baby girl?" He asked as one hand trailed from my neck, down my back and around to my belly. He pushed in, allowing me to feel him a little better. "You feel me, honey? You feel how deep I am?" I couldn't even nod, just bit down on my lip as he pulled me back onto his cock. I gasped as I felt him roll my clit in his fingers, my walls started contracting around him as he worked me towards my orgasm. "Fuck, Rooster!" I cried out as he rammed into me harder. "That's it honey, come for me. Come around my cock, pretty girl." I cried out as my orgasm washed over me, the top half of my body falling limp on the staircase. "Where do you want me to come, pretty girl?" 

"My back." I moaned out. After a few more seconds he pulled out, painting my back with his seed, making me moan out. "Hang tight, sweet girl. Let me get something to clean you up." He said as he slid me up the last few steps and laying my flat on the floor. He disappeared for a minute before coming back with a hot wash rag. He gently wiped my back, before cleaning between my legs, making me jolt. "You okay?" I nodded as he slid my shirt up my back, placing kisses along it. 

"Hey Rooster?" He hummed as he kissed my shoulder blade gently. "Can I ask you a serious question?" He laid on his stomach next to me, both of us turning to look at each other as his hand ran up and down my back. "Do you-" I cleared my throat. "Have you ever thought about having kids?" He took a deep breath, his arm was covering the bottom half of his face but I could tell he was smiling. "Yeah, yeah I have." I bit my lip. "And?" He chuckled. "I want kids, I don't know how many. I guess we would just stop whenever our family felt complete." Tears welled in my eyes. 

I sat up, pushing him till he was on his back. I moved to straddle his waist, his hands coming up to intertwine his fingers with mine. "You want kids? With me?" He smiled up at me. "Oh, pretty girl. You're the only woman I would ever consider having children with." My bottom lip wobbled . "Fuck! I'm so tired of crying!" I yelled as I wiped my tears. "It's okay, Mags. I really, really love you. If you wanna start trying for kids now, I'll take you in that bedroom and we won't come out till your pregnant. If you wanna wait five years we will, this is on your time, honey. You have all the control here." I leaned down, still straddling him and wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face into his cheek. 

"You have no idea how much that means to me, Rooster." His arms slid around my waist, holding me close. "Honey, I'll give you all the babies you want if it makes you happy." He said kissing my cheek. "I'll even make you Mrs. Bradshaw if you give me your left arm." I sat up quickly, staring at him. "I'm really going to have to talk with Phoenix." He chuckled and just stared at me. "Have you ever considered getting remarried?" I bit my lip and nodded. "Only to you." His grin grew, his perfectly white teeth showing under the hallway lights. "So you would marry me?" I smirked at him. "Are you asking?" He chuckled. "Let me find a ring, and work up a real proposal, pretty girl."

~~~

The next day I was sitting next to Rooster in the ready room. We have already finished out two of our runs today, everyone doing better but not where we need to be. We were all listening to Phoenix, Bob and Coyote's second run of the day. "Talk to me, Bob. Where's Maverick?" Phoenix was having an intense run since Maverick showed up, acting as a bandit. "Five miles out, coming in hot!" "Target's in sight! Laser, Bob!" Coyote huffed. "Dead eye! Dead eye! I can't get a lock!"

"Dropping blind!" We listened as the shifted upwards, hitting coffin corner. We heard their missile lock go off, signaling that Maverick had gotten both of them. "That's tone!" He cheered as Phoenix cussed. "Level out, Coyote." Nothing. "Coyote, do you copy?" My heart started racing at this point, Coyote was damn good. He wouldn't just bail out like this. "He's gonna burn in! I'm going after him!" At this point I was leaning forward on the couch, Rooster's hand clasped in mine as I listened. 

"Come on! Give me tone! Give me tone!" We heard his missile lock and the monotonous 'Pull up, pull up!' After a moment I heard a sigh of relief. "Coyote? You okay?" It was quiet for a moment. "Yeah, I'm good! I'm okay!" I let out a cry of relief and threw myself back on the couch as his voice came over the radio. "Good. Pack it in guys. That's enough for today." I scoffed and nodded. "Damn right, it's enough." Rooster brought my hand to his lips, kissing it gently. 

"Bird strike! Bird strike!" I threw myself off the couch at Phoenix's voice, crouching in front of the radio. Rooster coming up behind me, resting his hands on my shoulders. One of my hands rose to my shoulder to hold his, panic rising within me. "Come on, Natasha. Come on." I muttered as I rested my head on the table that held the radio. "We're going down Phoenix! We're going in! We're going in!" The panic in Bob's voice set me off, tears flowing down my face. "Eject! Eject! Eject!" I held my breath, waiting for something, anything. 

"Mags." Rooster squeezed my shoulder and I shook my head. "They have to be okay." I cried and suddenly Rooster lifted me, moving to sit on the couch, setting me next to him and pulling my head onto his shoulder. "Halo?" I heard movement but kept my eyes closed as tears flowed. "See if you can find anything out for us?" "Yeah, I'll be back." I heard her leave but I stayed in my position. 

After about an hour we heard rushed footsteps. "They found them, they're taking them to medical now!" I just up, Rooster's hand in my own. I expected him to get up as well but he almost pulled me to the floor as he stayed in his seat. "Hey." I said crouching down next to him. "Did you hear Halo?" I asked as everybody rushed out of the room. "Yeah, I just-I need a little while longer to process." I nodded and kissed his temple, taking the seat next to him. "Do you want me to stay?" He immediately shook his head. "No, it'd make both of us feel better if one of us was with them." I nodded and leaned in, kissing him quickly in hopes no one saw before rushing out and over to medical. 

"Fritz!" I yelled as I rushed over. "Are you driving over to med?" He nodded. "Yeah, get in!" I crawled up into the older truck as he sped off to the other side of the base. "You think they're okay?" I asked and he sighed. "I wish I could tell you they were okay, but Magnolia, you know we need to be prepared for the worst outcome." I nodded as we rode in silence the rest of the way. Before we even came to a stop, I had jumped out and rushed over to the door. As I grabbed the handle I stopped. "Magnolia?" Fritz asked but I couldn't answer him. What if they weren't alive? I don't know what I'd do without Phoenix. She's been my lifeline the past few years, my rock. "Hey? Magnolia?" He put his hand on my shoulder and I jumped. 

"You okay?" I inhaled deeply. "I just, I don't know what I'd do without Phoenix and hell, even Bob." He placed his hand on the small of my back. "Well even if you don't want to go in, we have to move." I nodded and pulled the door, stepping in. I walked over to the main desk, walking up to the older lady. "Hi, I'm looking for Robert Floyd and Natasha Trace." She smiled at me, typing away. "They are currently in the trauma bay. If you take a seat, we will let you know when you can see them." I bit my lip and leaned close. "Can you tell me how they are? If they're even alive?" She pursed her lips and folded her hands in front of her face. "I'm sorry, I get your concerned but it is a HIPAA violation for me to disclose any information to anyone who is not family." I nodded. "Thank you anyway." 

Fritz and I turned to see everyone else sitting in the waiting room. I moved to sit between Halo and Harvard, Halo pulled me into her as Harvard threw his arm over my shoulder. We sat like this for about two hours before a nurse came out. "Robert Floyd?" I flew to me feet quickly, "How is he?" She smiled at me. "All his test and scans gave him the all clear, but we are still keeping him overnight for observation." I nodded. "Can we uh," I cleared my throat. "Can we see him?" She nodded and motioned me to follow her. I looked back and told everyone to follow, them scrambling to their feet. 

We followed her back there passing by room after room till we came to one with Bob, sitting up in his bed, on the phone. "No, ma. I'm okay, it happens." He rolled his eyes. "Yes, ma. I know I could've died but Phoenix is a great pilot she handled it well. I have a few scrapes from my landing and that's about it." I smiled at he seemed to be trying to convince her he's okay. "Hey ma, I gotta go. Yes, I love you too." He got off the phone and smiled at us. "Didn't think I'd have visitors so soon." Halo chuckled. "This one was the first one on her feet." 

I walked over, pulling him into a hug as everyone else filed in. "I'm so glad you're okay, Bobby." He chuckled. "Me too." We all laughed at his words. "How's Phoenix?" I pursed my lips. "I'm about to go find out." I said as I walked out of the room, slowly walking past each room, looking for her. "Can I help you?" I sighed as the nurse came over. "Um, maybe. I know it's not really protocol or anything. But I'm looking for Natasha Trace, we're all really worried and I just need to know if she's even alive." "Magnolia?" My head snapped up at her voice and the nurse chuckled. "Well since she's asking for you..." She led me around the corner to Phoenix's room. 

"Hey, Phoenix." She rubber her eyes. "How bad is it?" The nurse hummed as she checked her drip. "Well, you're all good except for the nasty gash on your leg. We sutured you up but it's going to be at least a week before it heals." Phoenix sighed. "Can I still fly?" I chuckled as I took the chair next to her. "I don't see why not, but we'll see what the doctor says. We will be keeping you overnight for observations, you are free to leave in the morning. But like I said, you may not be able to return to duty immediately." She nodded before jumping in the bed. "Oh my god! Bob! Is he okay?" I nodded as I pushed her back on the bed. "Bob is good, he has a clean bill of health but they're keeping him too." She sighed and relaxed into the bed. "Thank god." 

Her eyes were closed but I saw the tears building. "Can we have a minute?" The nurse nodded and slipped out, sliding the glass door closed. I walked over and closed the curtain so no one could see in. I walked back over, sitting next to her and pulling her into me. "It's okay." She sobbed into my side, squeezing me closer. "I almost killed him, Magnolia." I pursed my lips. "Almost. Almost, he's here and he is in better shape than you are." Her sobbing eased a little. "Hey." She looked up at me. "Do you want me to go get him?" She nodded and sat up, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "Okay." I stood and walked out, going right up to his nurse. 

"Is there anyway we could get Bob Floyd into Natasha Trace's room? I think it would do her some good to see he's okay." She nodded. "Let me grab a wheelchair." I nodded and walked into Bob's room, seeing Maverick and Rooster had joined. I walked over, wrapping my arm around me back, pecking his cheek quickly. "Alright Bobby, how do you feel about a field trip?" He nodded and I went around, helping him sit up as the nurse came in. She helped him into the chair, him being able to do most of it himself. "I got him, thank you." She nodded as I steered him towards Phoenix's room. 

As we walked in she was wiping her face again. "See! Not a hair on his perfect little head was harmed!" She laughed as I rolled him closer. She sat up, taking his hand. "We'll be right outside." Groans of protest sounded and I gave everyone a stern look. "Let's give them a few minutes. Now, go." I motioned everyone out and pulled the curtain and closed the door so they would have some privacy. "So, any damage?" Hangman asked and I nodded. "Bad gash on her leg but that's it. The nurse said she should be able to go back to flying but it's ultimately up to her doctor." Everyone nodded, hoping for a positive outcome. In all honesty, Phoenix was the best double flyer out of all of us. Without her, this mission may truly be in jeopardy.

~~~

"Okay, clean clothes, a uniform, all your toiletries." I said setting Phoenix's duffel in the chair next to her. I leaned in close, a grin on my face. "I even brought your favorite bra and underwear as well as a little gift in case you need some... stress relief." "Oh my god." She groaned, leaning her head back. "You think you'll get to fly?" Rooster asked. She sighed and shrugged. "I feel good enough to fly, but it's ultimately up to the doctor." He nodded. "Well, we're gonna get home. Gotta feed Dahlia 'fore she figures out how to open the fridge and eats the whole chicken I have thawing in there." Phoenix laughed and we exchanged goodbyes. 

The ride home was quiet, my head was leaning on Roosters shoulder as his hand rested on my thigh, gently sliding up and down. The top was off the Bronco so the wind whipped around us, my hair flying loose from my ponytail. His hand slowly trailed higher up, gently grazing over my clothed core. I shiver went up my spine at the sensation. I wrapped my hands around the arm that lead to between my legs. He slowly rubbed over my underwear with one finger, making me pant slightly. "Mmm, you're playing a dangerous game." I said as one hand dropped from his arm, slipping across his jeans covered thigh till it rested across the bulge in his pants. He took a deep breath, adjusting himself in his seat, spreading his legs a little. "It's a game i'm going to win." 

We pulled into the driveway of my house. "Come on, I'm not up for car sex tonight." I said jumping out of the car, going to grab the mail quickly before walking up to the door. "So then, what kind of sex are you up for tonight?" He said into my ear as his hand slipped under my blue sundress, grazing my ass, pushing his hard cock into me through his jeans. A moan slipped as I fumbled with my keys, trying to get the door unlocked. "Well, if your lucky, I'll let you take me on the dining room table." He smacked my ass, making me yelp as he chuckled. His arms wrapping around me, "My dirty little girl." One hand came up, groping my breasts, pulling a moan from me as I pushed myself back into him. "God, I love how needy you are, honey." I dropped the keys, throwing myself back against him with a moan. "Bradley. Please." I whined as I pulled away. 

"Let me get the door open before I let you fuck me here on the porch." He chuckled and kissed up my neck. "I wouldn't mind." I managed to get the keys and finally unlocked the door. As we stepped in, I shoved him into the door, effectively closing it. "Oh, pretty girl. You want me that bad?" I nodded as he pulled me close, kissing down my neck. "Need you." He chuckled as he smacked my ass. "Jump." I jumped and wrapped my legs around his waist. He walked over into my dining room, he roughly shoved me onto the dining room table, the mail falling out of my hands and onto the floor. I pulled his shirt over his head, sitting up and kissing down his chest. "Need you." I whined as he helped me pull my dress off. 

He stopped but I kept kissing his chest. "Hey, this looks important." He said leaning down, me placing a kiss on his shoulder as he bent down. "It can wait, want you." I said as I kissed his chest and unbuckled his belt. "Mmm, need you to fuck me hard, like I'm your dirty little girl. Need you buried inside me, honey." I ripped his belt off and he still didn't move. "Rooster, it can wait." He shook his head as I looked up at him. He shook his head, "This is from the Atlanta court system." I looked up at him, taking the letter and ripping it open. 

I read over the words in disbelief. "He's suing me for Alienation of Affection. I can't believe him." Rooster furrowed his brows. "What does that mean?" I sighed and leaned my forehead against his chest. "It means he is suing me for cheating and divorcing him. Which means," I looked up at him, his eyes filled with worry as he looked down at me, his hand resting on my cheek. "You'll probably getting a subpoena as well." I swallowed as I thought over my next words. "It also means that the judge is more likely to deny my divorce." 

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