#ohlo ohlo temsen

[not-poignant]

I'm rereading utb and while i def understand and agree with ef being held accountable for things, at the same time, it seems like everyone is constantly acting as if he's supposed to know how to have a healthy relationship and to cope with his emotions, much less his trauma, without anyone actually explaining or modeling this

Like, everyone constantly brings up the fact that he tried to kill Kadek even once they've acknowledged why and gary is starting a relationship with him while also essentially his prison warden and with how little ef has experienced in the world, especially as a psychologist, gary still not doing anything to help him get better coping skills makes it feel like he's setting him up to fail

Like, temsen is technically correct that ef domestically abused gary but he has literally never seen a non abusive partnership and is literally a prisoner in his current one

Idk, I really love this fic so, so much and thank you for writing it and i don't even need a response or anything, I just get defensive of ef when I'm reading sometimes bc he's trying so, so hard basically all the time and it seems like people acknowledge it sometimes in the moment but then don't give him the tools to make it any easier

Answering this one publicly because I know you're not the only one who feels this way or has felt this way!

Okay firstly, some of this conflict I'm evoking in the reader is intentional. I want people to feel defensive of Efnisien. I want people to think 'hey, hang on a minute.' There's a lot of reasons I want that, including the fact that in reality, most people don't recover from being abusive even after they've been in horrifically abusive situations in a vacuum (i.e. the whole world doesn't suddenly stop and become soft as cotton wool just because you've been abused! If you go and interview a whole bunch of people in jail right now, a lot of those folks (especially those who have done repeated serious crimes) will have experienced horrendous and incredibly unfair amounts of abuse, y'know? It's complicated. Yes, they have a right to heal and a right to support. Some of them probably did some pretty awful crimes as well. *coughs*serial killers*coughs*)

Obviously Efnisien is nowhere near that level, but the dissonance remains. He's certainly tried to murder more than one person. But we root for the person whose perspective we're reading. Still, people do not heal in a comfortable vacuum. In fact, most people are asked to be accountable for bad behaviour usually while suffering terribly. Because most people - unless they're certain kinds of extremely rare people - do bad behaviour because they don't know better and/or they're suffering intensely and it can momentarily feel good or satisfying to make other people hurt too.

That's an extremely hard process for the folks who are in that situation. Anyone who has had to recognise they're being a bully, or being abusive, usually goes through a period of time where they can't just immediately change, and what's expected of them seems impossible.

Now to everything else:

This world is a dystopia. There are things happening which aren't going to feel good when you're reading - systemic issues, issues around unfairness - because it's a dystopia. If those things weren't happening, and people just felt blithely comfortable with the entire world, well, that's not actually what I'm going for. There are times it should feel extremely disturbing to read.

So there are times I want readers to feel like things are unfair. There are times I want them to feel very strongly in one person's defense and only later realise the other person was hurt too. There are times I want them to feel like everyone is being unfair to a character. And times when I want folks to feel like the situation just sucks all round. Like, my intention in amongst the hurt/comfort isn't for things to feel easy or nice all the time, I am absolutely challenging the reader by introducing things that feel uncomfortable.

So when folks like yourself tell me this stuff it's like - yeah! It's a dystopia! And - yeah! Unfair things are definitely happening. This is especially true in the beginning when no one really has a concept of how bad things have been for Efnisien, or that he's an alpha. It remains true because no one is perfect. But it happens less often, that's what makes it feel more jarring as the story goes on. If you're rereading it's going to feel worse in the beginning, that's on purpose. The story is doing its job.

it seems like everyone is constantly acting as if he's supposed to know how to have a healthy relationship and to cope with his emotions

I don't really know what scenes you're specifically referring to here (like, just the first few chapters? The whole story? Temsen's single lecture?), but this is absolutely not the case. I'm going to look at the whole story:

The majority of the time that Efnisien is rude and disrespectful, especially once Efnisien and Gary are living together, Gary mostly ignores him, brushes it off, doesn't react or responds like it's normal dialogue lol. He's not constantly correcting his behaviour and he's not constantly like 'hey rephrase that to be polite' or 'I have feelings too' (maybe he should say the latter sometimes).

Gary is more aware than anyone that he shouldn't be Efnisien's guardian and that he's not a companion. He says this, out loud, to several people, several times. So we know that he knows that the situation isn't great / fair re: Efnisien's care (and frankly his own. Of the two of them, Gary's the one who keeps coming close to potentially dying from the other person's actions).

especially as a psychologist, gary still not doing anything to help him get better coping skills makes it feel like he's setting him up to fail

Gary is not Efnisien's psychologist. And psychologists are not doing their jobs on absolutely everyone, 24/7! This one is so important to remember (both in real life and sometimes in fiction). He's categorically not Efnisien's psychologist and it would be even more toxic if he attempted to be this if they were living together!

Gary being a psychologist is his job in the same way being an artist is a job, it's not specifically relevant to their relationship, except that Gary sometimes has better understanding of the root/s of some behaviours.

Ask any psychologist how they live at home and most of them do not want anything to do with their psychology jobs in their personal life, because they're mentally fatigued/tired from talking to people all day. They are not perfect people, they don't have perfect control over their emotions, they aren't teaching everyone the coping mechanisms they need to survive (this takes a lot of labour! It's exhausting! People can't do that 24 hours a day and stay sane. It gets toxic fast.)

The majority of the time Efnisien has extreme emotional responses, Gary just tends to absorb them, acknowledge them, or actively care for him. It's easy to miss these moments because I'm usually not making you feel conflicted about it.

The times Efnisien has extreme emotional responses and then chooses to repeatedly hurt Gary, there are often extreme emotional responses that follow because you know, that's what Efnisien was aiming for! He was trying to severely hurt someone!

Let's move onto Temsen and Efnisien, because this might be more of what you're thinking of, since Gary almost never holds Efnisien accountable tbh. Temsen is a doctor, and a peak alpha who is a leading educator in academic omega rights and theory. He is the first to deeply understand how young alphas left to get away with their smaller abusive behaviours are the kind of alphas who grow up into rapists, murderers and torturers like Christian in Underline the Blue.

(I just want to add, Christian's own abuse and PTSD is real, I don't think any of us are rushing to hold his hand and pat his head, because we sympathise with Nate more than Christian. But Christian has real pain, and real suffering too. He's a great example of how 'you're still accountable for your behaviour though' at its most extreme).

So, Temsen sees Efnisien's behaviour and he lectures and shuts him down like he would any young alpha who is on a really dangerous path. Even within that, he acknowledges himself - out loud - that it's a complicated situation and the time he comes down on Efnisien the hardest, he says the timing is poor. The majority of the time, he shows Efnisien compassion and care, and listens to his opinions, even when they disagree. He is the first to validate his gender both repeatedly in words, and in hormone and medical support. He's the first to change his approach to Efnisien's medical care when Efnisien calls out his lack of respecting his right to privacy, and he's the first to correct Gary about it when Gary expects Temsen to keep giving him information. He offers pragmatic, compassionate advice about many sensitive subjects in Efnisien's life, his health, his secondary gender, his nesting behaviours. And I would say this is how Temsen actually models better behaviour.

Temsen doesn't expect Efnisien to have all of these skills, but Efnisien has to be told what he's doing wrong and how that's not acceptable behaviour and how he's hurting people, to start learning those skills! Otherwise why would anyone bother? Vindictively hurting other people in moments of rage can feel satisfying for folks who aren't being held accountable.

You say no one is modelling better behaviour to Efnisien so I'm just going to pose some questions that are rhetorical:

How many alphas at HIllview are mounting or torturing Efnisien every day? Does Efnisien have choices in what he eats? Is Efnisien's opinion listened to more and more, especially in matters of his health? Do they care about his pain and offer him painkillers when he's suffering? Are the characters in the story trying to enrich his experiences and help him to become a more mature person by helping him overcome his fears of things like going outside? Are the characters deliberately trying to expand his support network by helping him see new people and lean on them for help, instead of keeping him in a box and forbidding him from seeing anyone? While also taking into account the safety of others?

Are the characters largely gender affirming once they learn more about Efnisien?

Are the characters actively teaching Efnisien social sciences to help him understand more about the world and human rights, which includes his own rights?

Do the characters acknowledge that Hillview isn't an ideal place for Efnisien, just a good place for now?

Do the characters want Efnisien to have a future where he's happier?

Do the characters allow Efnisien to have his emotional responses as long as they're not also abusive responses? For example, is Efnisien allowed to cry, nest, seek comfort, or even be angry, provided he's not being domestically violent? (The answer is yes).

Do the characters to the best of their ability explain things clearly and maintain their own boundaries around Efnisien to remind him that he can also maintain his own boundaries?

Are Efnisien's wishes largely respected where possible? (The answer here is also yes - such as refusing internal exams with Temsen, or having control over what he does most days and how he spends his time etc.)

Can Efnisien see lots of examples of people talking civilly to each other and often with great care, and not being abusive to each other? Can he see alternative forms of conflict resolution, management and repair?

Is Efnisien offered opportunities to repair rifts that he's created himself, after being cruel to someone?

This is just a start, but these people through these behaviours are already role-modelling a ton of better behaviours than anything Efnisien has been exposed to in the past. And we can see that Gary himself role models a lot of these things to Efnisien directly, including apologising frequently and quickly when he realises he's made mistakes. This is how Efnisien learned to apologise! And he literally has thoughts like 'Gary does this / so I guess I should do it too.' That's literally role modelling a behaviour :D

Gary's actually a pretty good role model, and the only reason Efnisien's behaviour starts to improve at Hillview as well as his quality of life is because Gary and Temsen are role modelling these behaviours.

Like, temsen is technically correct that ef domestically abused gary but he has literally never seen a non abusive partnership and is literally a prisoner in his current one

Efnisien isn't literally a prisoner in his current relationship!

I feel like when folks identify really strongly with a character, it's very easy to miss the times when Gary and Temsen for example brainstorm ways for Efnisien not to live with Gary. Aside from at the very beginning, these characters have actually talked about - in the story, in dialogue - options for Efnisien to not live with Gary.

Like they literally talk about making Efnisien a new room in the headquarters and possibly even building him his own building down the track so he doesn't have to be with Gary! As they trust Efnisien more, they offer many options to him. As the story goes on, they are absolutely not forcing Efnisien to stay with Gary, and nor is Gary. Efnisien himself communicates clearly that he would rather live with Gary than be on his own. This is something that gets checked in on, and more than one option is given to him.

Missing this is understandable, it's a long story, but it also means it's not true that Efnisien is a prisoner in that he's being forced to live with Gary. That's only true in the beginning when they literally think he's just a murderer/attempted murderer who's going to kill everyone at Hillview. As the story progresses, it shifts to 'well he's not a murderer, what are his other options?'

Can Efnisien live a free life wherever he wants? No. That's where the 'dystopian universe' tag comes in. He's not safe to, but Hillview staff wouldn't be concerned with educating him and teaching him independence if they didn't want him to live as independently as possible one day. It's not like Gary has to try to get Efnisien comfortable with going outside and experiencing the outside world, and it's not like he has to encourage Efnisien to meet omegas and betas etc. to hear different opinions, y'know?

But yeah the role modelling is happening: Efnisien's showing more and more tools in coping all the time! He's been growing them since the beginning of the fic. He's learned to communicate better. He's learned how to articulate what he wants and doesn't want more clearly. He's learned how to care more for others even if he often misses that he has the power to really hurt them. He's learned more (not less) confidence. He's having less (not more) trauma responses. He's learned how to trust in the people around him more, so he's starting to talk more about his experiences of gender. He's learned that what he went through was wrong, and is sharing more about the abuse he suffered.

These things would not be happening in a story where people weren't giving him the tools to cope with his life or weren't showing him ways to communicate differently.

The reason Efnisien talks more clearly and articulately now in the story, the reason he laughs more, cries more (which is more open/honest imho and healthier than repressing it), talks more, talks about his past more, expresses his opinion more is because Hillview has been equipping him with more tools to live a richer life pretty much as soon as they realised he's not going to just murder people at the drop of a hat.

In some ways they're showing more trust than our society would because like, attempted murder could land him in jail for a while in our society, y'know?

The reason they haven't paired him with an actual psychologist is that they don't have any peak alpha psychologists and Efnisien can use alpha persuasion on anyone else, and would certainly get angry enough in therapy to use it. We only need to look at how Efnisien responded to Dr Gary in Falling Falling Stars sometimes in therapy sessions to see that yes, this is a guy who - if he had the tool of alpha persuasion - would absolutely use it to get a therapist to shut the fuck up when he felt like it, lol.

But yeah, as always, if folks are feeling really uncomfortable when reading something I've written, it's often intentional. You're right, Efnisien's situation is unfair. A few of the specifics you've brought up aren't true, and have missed things in the story, but it's still not a fair experience, it's not always a pleasant experience, and it's...pretty dystopian!

When we get really deep into our emotional connection to a character, it can still help to remember that the situation often isn't exactly the same as it feels. But this story also has the tags: darkfic / disturbing themes / dystopian universe for a reason! The visceral discomfort is a feature, not a bug.

[haennsche]

Look who it is!!!

My drawing of Temsen (that I made over a week ago but I had no energy left to post, whoopsie)

I just LOVE the nascent diplomat and I'm so excited for every new update <33 it hits me right in the feels every time, my poor heart, but how I crave it, Pia what have you done to me!! (I'm insanely grateful)

Wishing you the best ^^

[fluister]

Gwyn’s hair is very soft.

From The Nascent Diplomat by @not-poignant

[not-poignant]

Birthday Spotlight - Ohlo Ohlo Temsen

[17th April - Aries]

Ohlo Ohlo Temsen, or just 'Temsen', is an incredibly overpowered vench in the Fae Tales alternate universe story The Nascent Diplomat. There, he is introduced first as a stern but compassionate healer, and later as a spokesperson, diplomat, member of royalty and someone so adept at magic that he would happily take on the Raven Prince and likely win.

Taking on the job of Gwyn's healer, becoming Augus' friend, Temsen guides both through the growth of their relationship and the mending of Gwyn's magic in the underground caves of Aethelwaters, deepening their understanding of intimacy, and needing a great deal of it himself to survive.

Temsen is often quite opaque, especially as we've gotten to know him more as a peak alpha in the Underline the Rainbow universe. He's cheerful and steady but also unafraid to be strict and commanding. He can be unexpectedly flexible, or very rigid. What's clear is his dedication to helping those less fortunate (and less powerful) than him, and his dedication to becoming a healer in every story we've seen him in.

'You have been so alone, and I do not think you are like the to-ahl, as some of the others say. You were not meant to be alone.'

The Nascent Diplomat

The Nascent Diplomat: Temsen first appears as a healer from the Ohlo Ohlo clan who comes to take care of Gwyn after he kills the to'ahl, gets poisoned, and wounds Kithkalkith Kimerrin. It becomes clear quickly that Temsen holds a significant amount of power and negotiating weight among his people, however, his weakness is that he cannot be away from his clan or from touch for long at all, forcing Gwyn and Augus to have frequent physical contact with him for his own health.

The Nascent Diplomat: Temsen really helps the rest of the story to continue coming alive. He heals Gwyn's magic, but more importantly serves as a healing compass to both Augus and Gwyn. He is accommodating but firm enough to make sure that Gwyn never strays from the path of growth, and it's clear that he has affection in his heart for these fae from the above, even if he has zero respect for other aspects of their lives, including the School of the Staff.

Also he point blank said he would fight the Raven Prince and even go to war with him due to his abuse and neglect of Gwyn, so you know...

Underline the Black: Appearing as the head doctor at Hillview Rehabilitation Facility, Temsen is a peak alpha who lives his best life as someone who doesn't need a relationship because he's responsible for the health of about twenty five omegas at any one time. He comes in clutch to assist Efnisien repeatedly during some rough gender issues, and also acts as a firm father figure, reminding him that young alphas do not disrespect or abuse other people just because they can.

Underline the Blue: We see Temsen at his most fallible here, as both Janusz' supervisor at Hillview, and Nate's doctor, we see the gaps in Hillview's ability to match alphas and omegas, and also in how they handle early heats and difficult situations. Temsen misses that Nate is an atypical omega, and ends up with an alpha who develops PTSD due to the methods he used to try and get Nate to bond with him.

Underline the Gold: Temsen becomes extremely involve with Flitmouse's care in Underline the Gold when he realises the extent of his Anorexia Nervosa, and later when Flitmouse undergoes corrupted heats. Flitmouse and Temsen don't always see eye-to-eye, especially on certain invasive exams. Temsen isn't afraid to manipulate Flitmouse to get what he wants, but in the face of a firm withdrawal of consent, he shows that he has the ability to concede and let the omega guide the way.

Underline the Red: While only mentioned so far, Temsen eventually becomes Faber's interim boss, changing their connection forever.

Among the vench, Temsen is a member of the Ohlo Ohlo clan and they all look the same (and indeed all vench look quite similar). But in the Underline universe where he spends more of his time these days, Temsen is African-Australian, his mother is a Kenyan immigrant and a doctor, and his father is Australian, and a doctor. He's multilingual, and can speak Kiswahili, Elgeyo, English, Indonesian, and Mandarin. He's semi-lingual in Vietnamese.

Temsen deliberately wears clothing that makes him seem less threatening, in the same way that he deliberately makes himself seem less threatening in the Nascent Diplomat as well.

Temsen can have a slightly formal intonation. In TND it sounds like he's still discovering how to translate his language into Gwyn's and Augus' language, and in Underline he's more likely to say things like 'goodness!' and be very direct and not prevaricate.

Temsen is always kind of overpowered in whatever he's doing, as a healer, as an alpha, as a doctor, he's just always at the top of his game.

Temsen is someone who can be physically intimate with a lot of people, but isn't inclined to have a very special 'someone' in his life.

Temsen taking on the Raven Prince and threatening to go to war over his treatment of Gwyn, and the Raven Prince essentially bowing to that and admitting he was right, was a pretty stellar moment actually.

In Underline the Black Temsen sailed in as the white knight to save Efnisien from his fear of being forced into the shape of an omega, and in a single conversation in front of a projector, managed to solve a lot of problems for Gary and Efnisien in one fell swoop. For that reason, I couldn't have him in the story for quite a few chapters lol. He's too powerful!

Always extremely competent and well-educated, but also willing to admit to his faults and apologise.

Relatively open to other's experiences, but you always get the sense that he holds back some of his counsel and that you're never quite seeing all of him, despite his direct way of speaking.

Despite having the power and status to act refined, arrogant and pompous, Temsen prefers to come across as humble and receptive, but sometimes it's clear that he's doing this in a calculating manner.

Temsen is always a healer!

Temsen is always a leader

Temsen started as a throwaway character. Even with all of my worldbuilding and character creation, I found myself suddenly needing a healer and I very quickly cobbled together a bunch of traits and made Temsen. We were only supposed to see him a few times, and he was never supposed to be as powerful as he became. He was a breakaway hit, and ends up becoming more prominent in the story as a result!

I think Temsen has outrageous chemistry with everyone, honestly.

I initially shipped Temsen and Gwyn together in Underline and I also ship them together in TND, but in a very low key way. If I think about very porny AU oneshots, Temsen/Gwyn has come up for me a few times. I don't think I'll write it, because I think they'll be intense/depressing.

Temsen's anger is one of my favourite things to write, so I may be looking for more opportunities to make that happen!

'In vench society, we measure our worth by how we treat those we care for. Not by our magical achievement, not by our individual jobs, not by the different aspects of our personalities. All of those things only matter in connection to how we treat those we care for. It is how we value other societies, though we find many in the above sorely lacking by our standards. We know our standards are unique, and we do not seek to press them upon anyone else. But Gwyn is my ward, his healing is under my domain and therefore the domain of all the vench, and it disturbs me as a healer to release him to someone who would do this to him. There is nothing to stop you from doing untold damage to him in the future. I can heal what we did to him. I should not have to heal what you did to him.'

The Nascent Diplomat

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from chapter 8 of Underline the Gold:

Temsen made a sound between his teeth, and then he huffed.  'Goodness, how brutal, this is fully corrupt, isn't it? All right, there's nothing else for it. Both of you are coming to the medical suite and we'll allocate you one of the proper rooms. I'm not happy with it continuing here, at any rate. Not when you have an omega whose organs are still recovering from severe malnutrition. This could progress to organ failure, and I'd like to take some blood to make sure it hasn't.'  'You could take the blood here,' Anton said.  'I admire how protective you're being,' Temsen said, like someone who didn't admire it that much at all. 'But your job is to care for your omega's welfare, and right now you need to put the physical first. You can care about his mind as much as you want once I know he won't die on us. Get some blankets, I expect you'll be fine carrying him?' Anton didn't answer, but he must have done something, because Temsen left the room a moment later.  'I'm sorry,' Flitmouse managed. 'I'm so sorry.'  'This is so far from being your fault,' Anton said, ruffling Flitmouse's sweat-damp hair. 'Come on, I know this sucks, but Temsen's one of the best.' 

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from chapter 15 of Underline the Blue:

‘Why are you treating him like that?’ Nate said, his voice weak. ‘Are you angry at him?’ Temsen’s eyes narrowed a little, and he tilted his head at Nate, then looked sidelong at Janusz. But then his expression cleared. ‘I’m frustrated,’ Temsen said. ‘His caution around you, while it comes from a very understandable place, hasn’t been helpful. Omegas tend to do better with firm guidance. Janusz hasn’t been trained to handle certain kinds of cases, including yours, and he can’t really help how he feels, but he also needs to step more firmly into the role he’s been hired to perform.’ Nate felt dizzy, and he stared at Janusz instead, because his head felt less foggy when he wasn’t trying to focus on a peak alpha. ‘Oh,’ Nate said all at once. ‘You’re mad because Janusz isn’t meaner to me.’ ‘No, baby,’ Janusz said, stepping forwards, walking past Temsen and talking across whatever he’d been about to say. ‘No. That’s not it at all. He’s mad because Hillview didn’t vet this process properly, and now you’re stuck with me, I’m afraid, because of the shortcomings of this organisation and those in charge of it.’

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia

Hope you dont mind but UtB Temsen scares me. Like... there are things about him that just make me feel very unsafe lol.

I'm not sure whether you intended for him to have such a threatening undercurrent but if I existed in the Underline universe I'd stay far far away from him. It's strange because I don't get that same sense of foreboding from Gary or Augus and I'm wondering whether that because Gary has a pov and Augus is simply not present much. But idk.

I get a sense that there's an extreme darkness beneath peak alpha Temsen's character. Like, he apparently cares about omegas enough to go into a rage on their behalf and later work at Hillview but then does and says things that are like the exact opposite Like admitting that he would've raped Ef if Ef had been given to him instead of Gary and would've done it despite witnessing first hand through his profession the type of trauma that sexual abuse causes. And the fact that forced sex would've been the first thing on his mind instead of investigating further and finding the source of the pain? Yeah that's... kind of chilling actually.

So in his mind, rape isn't ok if it's committed by other alphas (like ones at different facilities) but it's ok if he commits it?

And then reading some of your responses about how Temsen is with his one night stands, or how he'd potentially be with Gwyn, and it just solidifies my belief that even though he can be nice sometimes, he is not a nice person.

If i was an omega sent to Hillview, I would be horrified to even be in the same room as him. His kindness and goodwill seem extremely conditional and feels like it could turn around any moment if someone isn't "respectful" enough. Like, he didn't like Ef talking back to him and I have a suspicion that his reaction to it would've been worse if Ef was his instead of Gary's. Temsen seems to treat patients best when they're polite, passive and obedient, which are usually trauma responses and he knows that, but (judging by his behaviour/responses) still prefers it?

I also think his cheerful bedside manner is a mask he puts on and it hides something very dark and very ugly that not even Gary and Augus possess.

As you can probably tell I have quite strong feelings about Temsen lol. Most of them not good.

Please don't take this the wrong way, these aren't judgements! I just want to express and share my feelings about him as a reader. And maybe get your thoughts as well? I would literally read an entire essay dedicated to his character to see if I could see him in a new light.

I think the fact that he's not a pov character doesn't help him much. But then you've written other non pov characters before and none of them have made me feel like this so maybe it's just a UtB Temsen thing.

If you have the time and energy to spare, I'd love and appreciate your thoughts on his character. I always love reading your responses.

Thank you

<3

This ask is almost as long as my ask responses sdlakfjsda

And my response is VERY LONG so under a cut it goes:

Okay so, first things first, by our world standards, all of the alphas in Underline the Black are rapists. All of them. Every single one we've met so far. From the kind and caring Janusz who did not in any way obtain any kind of consent before raping Nate lovingly repeated times, to Anton who might get consent from Flitmouse this time but certainly hasn't in the past during heats, to Gary who has done god knows what to alphas before abandoning them, to Caleb who does not contain full and willing consent from the omegas he fucks and certainly puts the dubious in dubcon when he's with Faber.

So let's be blunt here, if we're going to be looking at these characters from like, our personal standards, they're all rapists. All of them. Some of them are nicer and friendlier than others, but this is a world where obtaining full and lucid consent from omegas in heat is literally impossible, and where rehabilitation facilities often make choices to put the physical health of an omega (i.e. the resolution of a heat) before the emotional or psychological health (i.e. letting the omega go through unfulfilled agony just to wait until they can get true consent).

When we look at almost all omegaverse stories through this lens, almost every single character becomes a rapist and/or capable of rape. It's one of the reasons so many of us like it so much, it's so good for rape fantasy + romance, and it fulfills a lot of the roles that oldschool Mills & Boon and Bodice Ripper romance used to fulfill. A lot of 'I hate it until I love it, and now I also love you.'

One of the things omegaverse does within the universe is create a culture where everyone just accepts this as normal, because heats exist and they must be fulfilled, because they can be fatal - and certainly agonising - if they're not. This is a world that has, by and large, decided that people dying of pain has more value than obtaining real and informed consent. Believe it or not, our world is also like this sometimes. Especially around certain medical emergencies.

In the specific context you're mentioning re: Temsen admitting he would have raped Efnisien, he's making it very clear that he would have done it in response to Efnisien's physical agony due to being in heat, and he says this in a regretful way, in the tone of someone who knows he would have been wrong to do that, after literally saving Efnisien's life during surgery, and I feel like you're really cherry picking Temsen's words here to justify how you feel about him, which is awesome - you can do that!

But if you bring it to me, I'm going to show the whole sequence of dialogue to demonstrate that he had a lot of humanity around this sentiment, instead of the absence of sentiment and humanity:

'I am sorry,' Temsen said with his formal forthright way of speaking. Gary hadn't expected the apology at all. 'I've had to put Efnisien first as my patient quite a few times over the last few days, but it leaves you neglected, and I don't mean the PACS, Gary. I...am doing a terrible job of being sympathetic to your circumstances. It would be easier, I think, if your actions didn't have a direct impact on Efnisien’s welfare. It’s hard to think when he’s in agony.'  'I know.'  'I keep thinking about the pain he's grown accustomed to. I'm... And on another matter, I think I'm in the strange position of realising an alpha who's that vulnerable has a kind of appeal, if I'm being honest. I think I might see you as a rival.' Gary lifted his eyebrows to indicate what he thought of that, and Temsen laughed.  'It's not a serious rivalry,' Temsen said. Gary didn’t think it was, or he’d be unable to be relaxed about it. 'I don't want him, he's too much work. But I'm pleased to have identified why I've been in such a strange state. I think it started off as protectiveness and became that thread of: 'Here's an alpha not doing a good enough job with him, I know I'd do better.' Realistically, I'm not sure I would. I'm not as kind as you are, for a start.' 'Kind?' 'I would have fucked him as soon as I knew he was in heat,' Temsen said, smiling slowly. 'Which would have been a nightmare, given the surgery he needed for a start. You're far kinder than I am, Gary, for all that you're a small-minded, petty tyrant, when it comes to your grief.' 

So the specific piece of dialogue you're referring to, is Temsen referring to a hypothetical situation where he suspects he would have done the wrong thing, and it would have been literally 'a nightmare' (his words) and he discloses that he knows he wouldn't be as good a match to Efnisien as Gary is, and also apologises for putting Gary second because he's had to put Efnisien first due to the agony he's been in.

That's the sequence in which he discloses that he'd hypothetically have raped Efnisien.

Which, incidentally, is similar circumstances in which characters like Nate and other omegas on-site do get raped by their alphas. Nate didn't consent, couldn't consent, and would have withdrawn consent multiple times. Is Janusz regretting that? He absolutely is. Will he stop? No! That's...the trope, and it's what I love writing, and it's why Underline the Blue and Underline the Black have a black box Rape/Noncon warning - not because of the histories of these characters, but because of their current relationship.

"And the fact that forced sex would've been the first thing on his mind instead of investigating further and finding the source of the pain?"

Yeah, that's literally the job! You'll note that Nate doesn't get a medical/surgical examination by anyone before his pain / heat is solved by sex with Janusz (if you haven't read Underline the Blue yet, that's what happens). That's extremely standard. For about 99.9999% of omegas and anyone going into heat, the source of the pain is the heat. This is also happening in Underline the Gold but those chapters aren't on AO3 yet.

It would be really unusual if he did assume the pain was caused by something other than the heat. And the only reason he did consider it is that he knows Efnisien's prior medical history.

Hope you dont mind but UtB Temsen scares me.

I don't mind! It's literally canon that he scares and intimidates many of the characters, including Flitmouse, Efnisien (at times), Nate, Janusz (to a point), and Anton (at times). The threatening undercurrent is there because many characters canonically say they find him intimidating or frightening, because they have felt nauseous around him, and because of explicit canon details about things he's done in the past, as well as being extremely pragmatic about admitting to wanting to harm or kill people.

So in his mind, rape isn't ok if it's committed by other alphas (like ones at different facilities) but it's ok if he commits it?

In context of what I said above re: all alphas being rapists in this story, it's more like:

Raping maliciously to intentionally cause harm because you enjoy it isn't permissible. Raping to save someone from physiological agony, when there's no other safe way to deal with it, is. That's...why Hillview exists. They don't see it that way, because their culture is different to ours: Heats exist, and alphas exist. That radically changes the entirety of their culture.

And that's why the story is tagged as a Dystopian Universe story. Because that's dark as fuck.

And then reading some of your responses about how Temsen is with his one night stands, or how he'd potentially be with Gwyn, and it just solidifies my belief that even though he can be nice sometimes, he is not a nice person.

Yes! He says this himself! :D He knows this better than anyone and that's why among other reasons, he's not an alpha companion and he's not interested in being one.

He knows his flaws, he's the one who told you his flaws, he says canonically and more than once that he doesn't see himself as especially kind or nice, he even says it in the sequence above where he admits that he would have assaulted Efnisien. Your belief is his belief, and it's a belief he shared with the readers and has shared with other characters. This isn't something Temsen hides from, and it's also not something he indulges, that's why he's not an alpha companion.

If i was an omega sent to Hillview, I would be horrified to even be in the same room as him.

Many of them are. If you haven't read them yet, you might want to look at Underline the Gold in particular, and sections of Underline the Blue, where the omegas freely admit they find Temsen at best intimidating and overwhelming. Flitmouse comes straight out and accuses Temsen of threatening him, and Temsen baldly admits that he is. And then he keeps doing it.

That doesn't mean they still don't prefer him over the other doctors they've seen though - *points forever at the Dystopian Universe* tag. Nowhere in this story are we saying he's a good consent-focused story, but we are saying this is a fucked up world where he might be the best an omega ever gets in their life.

His kindness and goodwill seem extremely conditional and feels like it could turn around any moment if someone isn't "respectful" enough. Like, he didn't like Ef talking back to him and I have a suspicion that his reaction to it would've been worse if Ef was his instead of Gary's.

Absolutely, again, that's why Temsen isn't an alpha companion.

But also, he's a peak alpha. Gary is quite unusual in enjoying the way Efnisien talks back to him, it's so unusual for peak alphas that he basically has a kink for it at this point and it's a fetish rather than like...a realistic representation of peak alphas.

Temsen seems to treat patients best when they're polite, passive and obedient, which are usually trauma responses and he knows that, but (judging by his behaviour/responses) still prefers it?

Highly recommend you read Underline the Blue and Underline the Gold, where he actively praises omegas for standing up to him!

In this sequence, Flitmouse is defending his right to death by starvation (cw anorexia and other disordered eating) and fires up:

'I've been- But I've been eating here!' said Flitmouse. Temsen's smile was sad. 'I always love when an omega can fire up a bit more around me. I appreciate you sharing this with me. It's safe to speak your mind around me. I just selfishly wish you weren't defending your right to starve to death so passionately. I'm glad you've been eating here. Keep doing it. Try to do it a little more. That's all I'm asking.

Please don't take this the wrong way, these aren't judgements!

I mean, they are judgements :D I just don't take it the wrong way because it's normal to have strong feelings about a complex and morally grey character, and Temsen is definitely that!

In addition, a lot of what you've written out is stuff that I have explicitly written out into the story, they're things Temsen has told you / other characters about himself. He is his own biggest warning, and he is very aware of his flaws and the reality of his nature, if he desperately wanted to rape omegas, don't you think he'd have chosen to be a companion by now? He certainly could have, very easily. None of this stuff is hidden or swept away, these are things Temsen puts front and centre, and then it's up to others how much they see that or don't see it. But Temsen also puts other aspects of himself front and centre which you (and others) choose to ignore or think are false, which I think is created by the tempting trap that if someone has very awful qualities, all their good qualities must be a lie or a mask.

And that's not reflective of how complex people (and characters) really are. But it's a lot easier to deal with a character when we can sweep them into the 'I just don't like them' box or the 'I just like them and I don't see the bad stuff' box.

Temsen's good qualities are very real. He's dedicated his entire life to omega QOL improvements, and has created those tangible improvements in a dystopian universe. If he was a 'normal' peak alpha, he would have euthanased Efnisien the first day he arrived on site - maybe he would have raped him first. This is very very much a dystopian universe. I'm not going to try to convince you that he's 'good' because that's very simplistic, he does very good, and even heroic things, and he does very bad, and sometimes really awful things. These are just facts about him. And then it's up to other people to decide where their line is re: liking him or not.

In fact of all the characters we've met, Janusz has raped someone on the page and Gary has (re: Efnisien), we know Anton has historically for work, and Augus.

The only significant alpha who hasn't ever done this to omegas is actually Temsen.

The most important thing to me personally is that all Temsen has told you so far is speculative. He speculates that he would have raped Efnisien, but he actually saves his life. He speculates that he's not very kind, and then puts Efnisien first and sacrifices sleep for him to find articles that will make him more comfortable. (I would tender here that you're believing his hypotheticals over his repeated actions) He doesn't tolerate disrespect from an alpha, because that's how alpha rapists are created (he is stern with Efnisien because he's an alpha, because alphas who are allowed to disrespect others become like Gwyn or Christian or Vadim), but he accepts it often from omegas, who are vulnerable and need to learn how to speak up.

That's what's important to me! But I also think he's a dick, lol, and I like that about him. I don't need a character to be good or pure to love the shit out of them, and that's how I end up writing a world where almost every alpha is a rapist to some degree, and most folks still end up giving them a pass anyway, because the stories are fun and entertaining, and these people and world's aren't real.

TL;DR: Temsen is a complex character capable of healing, heroic, cruel and controlling actions, and I think you're cherry picking certain parts of his dialogue / actions to justify how you feel about him while missing others, which is absolutely your prerogative as a reader! But honestly, if you just don't like a character, or find them too dark, you don't need a reason for it - you can just not like 'em - feelings are the most irrational things we have, after all, and often resist logical justification. :D I'm not really trying to change your mind here tbh, feelings are feelings, but I am the kind of person who will point out the inconsistencies in a discussion, especially when invited to sdlkfjsa

[not-poignant]

Everyone can feel however they want about any character etc etc obligatory disclaimer... that said, I do wonder how people would feel about Temsen if he was white. It's the same thing I wondered when I saw some comment reactions to Kadek back when he was introduced in FFS.

I'm a big fan of Temsen, btw. The way he talked about both Efneisen and Gary's abusive actions was really responsible and useful, and I love characters who have both an upright moral core and the smarts to be able to take actions effectively.

Hi anon!

Yeah I do...sometimes have these moments as well. I also have the self-reflective 'am I writing POC too often as assholes' and then think about Eran and Leo and some of the other characters I've written and it's like okay, I don't think it's necessarily that specifically (though there's always room for improvement) and I really really do like writing hot assholes dsfjkaf

I also love Temsen, I love characters who are just really complicated but ultimately still doing their version of their best. And that anon might not have been thinking of the race factor at all, but it is something that also occasionally plays in the back of my mind because after 10 years of writing, there is a certain kind of 'he just rubs me the wrong way' that characters like Eran, Kadek, and Temsen have gotten just a little bit more than some of the other characters (and on the flipside, the 'oh I didn't know they were POC' which is...a whole...*sighs* - probably at its most painful when it's fanart so you know someone's put a lot of effort into something but also blanked the description of a character's skin colour and features at the same time) - I guess there's just an awareness? Also an awareness of my role in what I'm perpetuating as a white person because realistically I will unfortunately fuck it up too.

I am team 'give anon the benefit of the doubt' because I do canonically write Temsen to be unnerving and intimidating and I do think some readers will be a lot more receptive to / sensitive to that than others. But yeah, I also think this is a really understandable thing to wonder? It's a crunchy space to be in, because I also think Temsen's hitting the mark if he is unnerving some people as a character, just like Gary does. A sort of 'I like it when disabled / POC / queer people can all be hot assholes' lol

But in this instance like, in addition, Temsen has been one of the least directly harmful characters in the entire cast in terms of his actions and I do think about that a lot.

I think until society gets better about racism and decolonisation gets way way way way further it's just a normal thing to wonder about tbh.

(And on an aside, I am glad that the sentiment largely swung towards very positive towards Kadek by the end of FFS. He's one of my favourite side characters that I've written in a while, and I'm hoping to write more with him in side stories one day).

Also re: the talk he gave Efnisien, that has honestly helped Efnisien so much. Him stepping into his strength and consciously thinking about it has directly led to so much of the positive growth he's experienced in the last like 10 chapters. It was so needed, even if the timing wasn't great, Temsen really delivered on that front.

[not-poignant]

Hi! I just caught up on Underline the Black(and omg what a rollercoaster!!) and wanted to ask your thoughts on something:

If Temsen was present during Ef's intake, do you think he'd agree/refuse to be paired up with him instead of Gary? And would he be able to handle it better?

Of course he was not there and Gary was for plot reasons, but sometimes Temsen mentions what he would do in Gary's stead and I got curious :)

Hi anon!

If Temsen was there, he would have taken on Efnisien, but I don't think it would have been a better choice for a lot of reasons. The main one being that I do think Temsen is more forceful and in some ways less initially considerate (it was easy for him to come on board supporting Efnisien's secondary gender, but I don't think that would have been his first approach, and likewise, he says to Gary himself he would have force-fucked Efnisien through his heat and been completely unaware of the true cause of his pain as a result, and likely made things a lot worse in the process).

I think Temsen would probably be better in some ways, and a lot worse than others. He's not a good true fit for Efnisien, and they would never have bonded. He doesn't allow any real rudeness or swearing from Efnisien (and at this point that's basically one of Efnisien's love languages lol), and I think Efnisien would feel very stifled and trapped with him!

Ironically I wonder if Gary would have eventually felt pressure to take Efnisien on to give Temsen a break and they would have found their way to each other that way instead :D

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from Underline the Black 63:

'Augus?’ Temsen said briskly. ‘Thanks for picking up. We have an emergency. Can you fetch Efnisien from Gary's cottage, please? I'd do it myself, but I have Gary here in an ardolphogen rage, and I- Yes. ...Yes, indeed. No, I know.' Temsen looked at Gary. 'I don't know, actually, let me check. Have you hurt him?'  'I issued a directive,' Gary said roughly. 'I've already rescinded it. Otherwise, no.'  No. He'd just called the boy pathetic and worthless, and reached for every cruel thing he could imagine saying in the moment. What a big, proud moment for him, cutting down an abused, damaged boy as viciously as he could, because he couldn't handle the shattering of a teacup. Gary was trembling, his teeth wouldn't stop grinding back and forth, his molars hurt, but he couldn't make himself stop. He broke out in a cold sweat, he felt more volatile than before.  'A directive,' Temsen said slowly, staring at him. 'Goodness, I can't believe- Ah, yes, Augus, you heard that correctly. If you can take him to... No, no, not the medical suite. Bring him here, to me, the head office. If he's labile, we can't have him with Kadek. Efnisien already knows he can hurt him. Restraints? No. I don't think they'll be necessary. He's not hard to control. You shouldn't need alpha persuasion, just be careful, he's already scared of you. I'm going to get Gary out of my office, and he can go decompress somewhere else. Like the medical suite. Yes, thank you, Augus. I apologise, I know it's incredibly short notice. Yes, I know. I do apologise. Thank you.' Gary stared Temsen down. Temsen hung up the phone and held the eye contact for several seconds, looking like he wanted nothing more than to take on the challenge. But - tearing his eyes away - he averted his gaze and made a huffing sound of frustration.  'I want a really big Christmas bonus this year,' Temsen snapped. 

[not-poignant]

Underline the Blue (Nate/Janusz - Omegaverse)

Title: Underline the Blue

Pairing: Nate Prince/Janusz Bodanowicz

Notes: This is another story in the Underline the Black universe! Set prior to Underline the Black.

Summary: Nate, an omega, has been sent to Hillview by his alpha partner who doesn’t believe he’s good enough to claim or bond with, and wants him trained up at an omega rehabilitation facility to be a better partner. Nate is paired up with the alpha Janusz, who soon realises Nate has been micromanaged and ‘trained’ already to the point of having his soul shattered, and a journey of slow recovery and rehabilitation begins.

Underline the Blue - Chapter 10 - on AO3!

In which Nate overhears a conversation between Janusz and Temsen and immediately misinterprets everything, leading to a discussion between the three of them. Later, Janusz makes Nate say something that leaves him feeling unexpectedly despairing.

Underline the Blue (early access) - Chapter 13 @ Patreon || Ream

In Nate becomes suicidal and starts to actively think of ways that he can get out of the situation he's in which is quite unusual for omegas in general. Temsen and Janusz stage an intervention with an unusual solution.

Early access chapters are released in the Augus & Gwyn tiers and higher on both Patreon and Ream. :D (Folks are only charged once a month on Ream, hence the slightly higher fee)

– Thanks to all the Patreon and Ream supporters for making this (and my other writing) possible!

[not-poignant]

Fae Tales - The Nascent Diplomat (Gwyn/Augus)

Pairing: Augus Each Uisge/Gwyn ap Nudd

Tags: Fae politics, past child abuse, past sexual abuse, developing relationship, slow burn, mind games, Unseelie Court (See fic for more tags)

Summary: Augus is summoned by the Unseelie King of the fae to test out his hand at being a diplomat with a secretive, cave-dwelling race of fae known as the vench. He is sent to the remote region of Aethelwaters to strike up a trade deal, with the King’s Mage and executioner - Gwyn ap Nudd - as his bodyguard.

They come face to face with a closed culture largely unreceptive to newcomers, initiations to test their merit, an unusual way of feeding, and pitfalls and traps at every turn. Will it drive the shaky foundation between Gwyn and Augus further apart? Or bring them together?

Fae Tales - 38/? - The Nascent Diplomat - Gwyn/Augus on AO3!

In which one of the world's greatest wordsmiths, the Raven Prince, says one of the most important things he will ever say in his life to Gwyn ap Nudd.

-Thanks to all the Patreon supporters for making this story possible!

Chapter 39 of The Nascent Diplomat is available now for early release, for folks in the Augus & Gwyn+ tiers on Patreon and Ream! :D Temsen's bluff about how well he was surviving the deprivation of touch and intimacy falters, and he seizes the nearest opportunity to feed, which happens to be Gwyn ap Nudd, with unexpected and potentially unwanted results..

[not-poignant]

Pia, I read chapter 65 of UtB (I caved, I was going to wait) and now I am. So angry. With Temsen. Like so angry !! (I'm feeling the dystopia in dystopian universe) (if I had an emoji that's laughing and ugly crying at the same time, it'd go here) Now if you hadn't repeatedly told others to take breaks from reading then I don't think I would've recognised I needed one myself, so. Thank you. I think I am. Practicing a new coping skill, now. *vibrates like thermally agitated molecules*

Hi anon!

Yes! Taking breaks when you need them is very good. :D

I know exactly what chapter you're talking about without looking, because it was a divisive chapter (it's the Domestic Violence chapter where Temsen gives Efnisien a 'come to Jesus' talk re: telling him to cut out his abusive behaviour, because he is being abusive), but the timing is difficult and painful.

Efnisien does need the talk, and does get something very valuable from it (to the point that even 30 chapters later, he's still thinking about it when he needs to feel stronger and more purposeful), but I remember when writing the author's note that the chapter would be quite divisive re: people being upset at Temsen.

The irony is that it's actually one of the better things Temsen's ever done. Efnisien is domestically violent and does slip into abusive behaviours - and domestically abusive behaviours - very easily. Just because that's all he's known, doesn't mean it should be accepted or condoned or allowed. Temsen's talk is one of self-responsibility, and the importance of owning your own actions, even when things are incredibly hard. And the timing of the talk is terrible, but the talk itself is vital.

There's no world where it's excusable to become abusive to a partner just because you don't want to communicate something in actual words. And while even Gary is angry at Temsen for the timing of that talk, Efnisien himself is grateful for it and uses it to become stronger within himself. Because that talk acknowledges Efnisien's capacity for power and self-responsibility after a lifetime of people assuming he's powerless or not capable of taking responsibility for himself.

To me, it's actually one of the least dystopian chapters, but it is a distressing one, especially if you're feeling for Efnisien and therefore feel his actions are excusable (which they aren't, even with all the sympathy in the world. Destroying someone's beloved objects simply to torture them because that's easier than talking is domestic violence, and Hillview would be a pretty poor place indeed if they encouraged or supported that behaviour.)

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from Underline the Black 67:

‘Going forward,’ Temsen said, ‘I think you need to find more ways to communicate with each other. Additionally, it would be nice if you would stop verbally abusing him in the heat of the moment, and at any other times you’re doing it. I know that was the best you could manage, because I saw you earlier, and I know full well you could have torn a person limb from limb while snarling like a bear about it. But…calling him pathetic? Worthless? Heroic moment for you, Gary.’ Gary was surprised Efnisien had shared that, then he remembered Temsen could be a ruthless interrogator when he wanted, omegas, betas, alphas – it didn’t matter, he’d crucify them all to get information. ‘He already believes he is those things,’ Temsen said. ‘At the least, you owe him an apology too.’ ‘I know,’ Gary said, closing his eyes. ‘I know.’

[not-poignant]

Daily excerpt from Underline the Black 65:

‘Start from the beginning then,’ Temsen said. ‘Tell me what happened. I really don’t want to use alpha persuasion on you, but I will if I have to.’ ‘Some choice,’ Efnisien muttered. ‘Efnisien, your actions have placed an alpha at Hillview in danger again. You’re doing an awfully good job of looking sorry for yourself, and like you need someone to take care of you, but right now, you’re going to have to grow up just enough to look after yourself for a couple of hours.’ Efnisien shrank in on himself, guilt bloomed brighter in his mind. He thought about the way he’d shattered the teacup, how good it had felt to be so mean, how the revenge seemed like the right thing to do. ‘You’re not a lost omega,’ Temsen said, his voice softening, ‘you’re an alpha. Your actions have the power to really hurt people. Kadek has the scar to prove it. I understand you straddle two different worlds, you may for the rest of your life, Efnisien. You’re going to have to learn how to be an adult at some point, and that means taking responsibility for your actions. The other world you straddle, the one where you’ve endured a lifetime of torture that gives you strong post-trauma reactions at times like these… sometimes that has to take a backseat to you stepping into your power as an alpha. No one said adulthood was always easy. So, again. Tell me what happened. I need your version of the story.’

[not-poignant]

The way Temsen is one of my absolute and forever favorite characters 😩🫶

That’s it. That’s the message.

He really just popped out of nowhere like 'hi! you need a healer! it's me, no no get out of the way it's me i know what I'm doing' and i stared at my notes like 'dude you're not in here, I have other named characters I haven't even introduced yet' and he shoved them all aside and ignored my instructions and did what he wanted.

Which honestly is always pretty fun, lol, especially when everyone else is enjoying it too!