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ova-kakyoin · 6 months

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they call me 004

0 dick 0 pussy 4 suicide attempts

#HIGH CARD IS CRACKIN ME UP YALL WHAT CAN I SAY #high card #chris redgrave #suicide #ok ill stop posting now sorry

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voetballers · 10 months

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I'd like to correct one of my previous posts; I believe that the victim was actually 15 at the time of the videos being sent to her. Her birthday according to a Tweet wishing her happy birthday is on the 30th of November. She's turning 20 this year in 8 days (as of 22.11.2023), meaning when she originally sent the video of Dream moaning over her and sexting her, she was 15 at the time of 31st August 2019 (when the video was originally sent from Jamie (the victim) through Twitter DMs). Dream's birthday is on the 12th of August 1999, meaning he was a 20 year old sexting a 15 year old, and not 16-17 like everyone says — I assume that calling her 16 was just done for ease of talking about the situation, but if mine and my close friend's maths is right, she was 15 at the time.

#matt.txt #dream situation #i keep saying 'ok ill stop talking about it now' and then i dont stop talking about it im sorry to my uninvolved/uninvested followers #Love you all mwah mwah #still sick i fear etc etc etc #i think writing long posts like this whilst sick and mentally unstable is a stupid choice but whatever. its ok #that being said all of my posts are okay to reblog

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cerealmonster15 · 3 months

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haikaveh... save me haikaveh...

i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........

i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#the number of times i have reread alhaitham character story 4 and kaveh character story 5. like. dont look at me. kfjsdklfh #on one hand im tempted to think alhaitham would have a fully cynical view of friendship #and be like USELESS NEVER AMOUNTS TO ANYTHING but. i kinda dont think he works like that #well i dont think he would think that either way now but #even in times of friendship breaking up w/kaveh like #alhaitham is very FACTS AND LOGIC and i feel like he would still like #idk. understand the objective value of human companionship. whether or not he feels it works for him #HOWEVER. jkdlhfsd he is also the one who in his other lore bits was like 'grandmother the other children are boring at school'#AT AGE SEVEN god he was probably such an unintentionally funny child. i love u alhaitham u are so neurodivergently coded #so idk i feel like he would have a period where hes like okay. i was alone before and clearly that was the right call bc my 1 friend is gon #even if he does well alone i cant even imagine like. kaveh mustve been a huge impact and difference in alhaithams life #humans need SOME level of socialization!! and kaveh was his.... aughhh god they literally also read as having a bad breakup!!!!!#queer coded TO ME!!!!!! friends to rivals/friends to lovers to enemies to it's complicated..................#but again even if u dont think of it in a romantic sense like it's still so much. they were and are so significant to each other.#their bond is so complex and oughghdhgh they make me go bonkers #i do not think of any other 2 genshin characters so intensely as i do them .what have they done to me. what the fuck.#im alone in my stupid little genshin pit endlessly babbling about these motherfuckers!!!!!!!#and i love them. also i like that one scene in i think cynos 2nd character quest where al and kav r in the library or w/e #and kavehs like wtf no way u dont small talk w/coworkers. and alhaithams like no i just happen 2 hear people but i do not engage #hes so real he likes to eavesdrop but he does NOT want to get involved!!!!!!!!!!!!#also that same scene where kaveh goes 'WTF looking thru these will take FOREVER!!!!' alhaitham: 'ill manage'#kaveh: >:( FINE ILL HELP YOU!!!! like ok he did not ask. silly.#and alhaitham teasing him right after all that. 'teach me to pretend u werent listening' '...' '...' '...' '...HEY STOP IGNORING ME' 'see.'#theyre so goofy. kaveh u walked right into that one. ily.#i love when i talk about characters and it's literally just me going 'wow remember when character x said this. remember when he did that.'#i just love repeating scenes and dialogue and lore over and over and over and offering nothing new to say about it JKFLDSHKLFH #sorry i love them SO much and im bad at drawing and bad at fanfic so i just have to ramble in text posts forever #i do have. a fanfic outlined for them. i am just scared to write it #nothing crazy deep or whatever but yknow. im in a bit of a Funk Right Now dont worry about it #i need a constant stream of alhaitham and kaveh content constantly injected directly into my brain.

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plulp · 1 year

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duuuuude oh my god i had to redesign this guy like THRICE because i couldnt get it RIGHT! heres EDEN. for you.

#turning off rbs until i wake up in the morning (not in US)#just in case i want to fix anything #still doesnt have Everything i want but its OK whatever #dol #my art #eden the hunter #colors are still a little off. i dont particularly Know what i want him to look like :(#sorry for not giving him a beard i dont have the confidence i can make it look good #sorry i keep giving the older guys long hair i swear it isnt a thing (it is)#i swear i promise cross my heart ill stop. i promise #i promise i wont give avery long hair #also my art is better than my first post now...... maybe i should turn off rbs for those........ sigh #its a little embarrassing seeing it rbed still 😓#WHAT. I FORGOT CHEST HAIR. WHO AM I? THIS CANT BE ME. og my god give me a MINUUUUUUUUTE #done. imagine if i accidentally uploaded my oc file instead <- guy who had oc files open #i should probably make an about post at some point #maybe tomorrow #OK edit: fixed you can do whatever with it now

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camzverse · 3 months

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apologizing in advance for the person i will become when the next pjo show season comes out

#and the one after that etc #IM GOING TO BE SO NORMAL OK. ill be the normalest guy ever. nobodys gonna be more normal than me about this #iv. eive. been reading the pjo books (first time actually) and. I care them all so mcuh. the books ever #so so many things i cant wait to see in the show. ive been imagining how some stuff could be translated into the show as i read #im so excited ougfhhh i love these books. life changing reads and im not even really halfway done with them #i just started the third one today actually :mindblown:#i sat down just to read the first few pages before i go to sleep. and erm. i ended up sitting there reading the first ~60 pages for over #-an hour instead. Its so good man the only reason i stopped reading is bc if i dont go to sleep now ill pass out lmao #anygays i love pjo forever and ever and when the next seasons come out im going to be insufferable (/pos)#Also i feel like im always saying this but #im not actually apologizing like i said in the post. im not sorry for shit!! im having a good time #cam.txt #side note omfg i wish i didnt get so much of pjo spoiled its ruining my fun. everything couldve been so much more enjoyable #its my fault im always spoiling media for myself just bc of my insatiable need to know everything Smh. im my own worst party pooper.#a killjoy but not in the cool mcr “killjoys make some noise” way 😞😞 big ol spoilsport right here

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yippee-optimistically · 1 year

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watched a few episodes of fraggle rock off this random DVD we had um. natural progression of my Muppet era

#fraggle rock #red fraggle #gobo fraggle #boober fraggle #mokey fraggle #wembley fraggle #they are So dang silly... yeah #the DVD episodes were probably from like the middle of the series so im like who the hell?#cuz theres just a Human Man and his dog and a Trash Heap ???#I need to watch more I think. like they're so strange I need to consume all available fraggle media immediately #I love my Muppet time. I went from welcome home to the muppets and now fraggle rock ! what fun!#I need to post plain doodles more often but Ill get super hyperfoxated on smth and only draw that so its been Wooter for WEEKS im sorry #but im working on the gin and Rio ranger battery thing if it makes u feel better #ok im gonna stop talking

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cryolyst · 2 months

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~

#they speak!#it's probably just the illness that's making me extra irritable but like.#roommate kept coming up to me this morning going oh did i wake you up? i'm sorry if i did. did i do that or no? i'm really sorry.#and i kept telling him to stop saying sorry because i didn't have the brain power to phrase #'you could've been more considerate of your volume but you also have the right to use the common space so it's whatever'#but he said it to me again before i went to my room just now and it's like. ok. shut up.#if you actually cared that much u would've just been quieter in the first place actually.#anyways. annoyed. there were some annoying customers in the store today but it was whatever.#i feel like my fucks to give had already worn out with all the ppl in my social circle/my parents and the recent ongoings of that #[redacted] was being passive aggressive to me in the group chat and it's like. ok! idk what u want from me.#and i'm grateful for them for coming over and helping me with cleaning last week #and it's those sorts of actions that let me know they care and want good things for me #but like. i haaaate telling them anything because even innocuous non-private things get turned into judgement with them.#also. more and more i can feel how i'm drifting away from h and now with retrospect i can see how we mutually hurt each other :)#i keep coming back to this one period where i really wanted to take them to try dimsum and they kept saying they were too scared to try it #and in their new friend group they regularly go out n get dimsum together. which on the surface is like. why didn't you want to go with /me #i told you i wanted to share what i liked and i would explain what things were and i could do the talking and you still said no #but it's also very much a reflection of how i always rolled over and enabled them. i never challenged them. i was always passive.#i also feel like i'm heavily neglecting e and a recently and i can tell how the physical distance is affecting us and idk. it's weird.#anyways. another post that should've been a journal entry! lol!#when [redacted] helped with cleaning they also buried my journal under my like #300 packets of sesame candies and i can't be bothered to dig it out. also my bandaids are missing now. <3 #ik this also sounds passive aggressive but genuinely appreciate the help i just kinda hate how they think hidin everything in boxes is good #'we need to get you some more storage boxes and containers!!' actually i think that will be the opposite of helpful.#i need everything visible and on open surfaces so i can 1) remember they exist for me to use and 2) not have barriers for me to get to them

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always-a-joyful-note · 6 months

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There really is something special about stories where how ultra talented people decide that rather than shine above the rest, they would rather be a spotlight for those they love

#this is specifically about iori and banri #oh I DID have a fly away shooting star post here #but yeah....something about how iori and riku gave each other what they needed most...#...but they both clash as well because their communication styles are so different #its kind of a contrast to mezzo who clash fundamentally and dont really do communication properly #and pythagoras trio which is...'no secrets and healthy communication' 'lots of secrets and ok communication' and...#...'secrets everywhere what is communication?'#but yeah....iori knowing he is good at things but that not really sparking anything in him....#....until it became useful to help out his older brother and then riku #its something ok?#idolish7 #fandom spamdom #note's notes #and i want to be clear that this CAN apply to female characters but that its usually not done very well #(im sorry my support/healer women....you deserve a storyline like iori's too)#(by the way this doesnt apply to fma's women who are 'support class' dnd players)#ok ill stop rambling now

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betasuppe · 1 year

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Rinz's identity disc is too big for he gotdamn hand!!!😢😢😢

#tron #rinzler #oK I CAVED #i bought a bit of tron merch today & needed my own identity disc #[& the rinz chip OBVI]#sometimes you really have to let the fangirl inside you out ok????#nok talks #ill stop posting about my tron-eriffic day now sorry ill shut up!!!! Dx #my lil ploosh guy is such a little disaster #but as my first crafting plush project ever #im not at all mad #REMINDER TO SELF #imperfection & messing up is ok!!!!#gotta go give this dude a hug #lol what a time to be a ridic rinz fan even all this time later♡

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birdricks · 11 months

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#ok sorry i keep posting random shit im bored. ill stop now but this pose is super funny to me #rnm spoilers

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obnoxiousarcade · 3 months

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I have a longing to be understood more than anything else i think

#someone very recently acknowledged something that usually goes unseen and it wasn't even that great of an acknowledgement but ive just been #staring at the messages every once in a while. its great. not really i sort of feel like a real weirdo #im very lonely. i cant say why but let it be known that i am very lonely #ok i have a question to those who lie their eyes upon this post: tell me what you know about me please?#so much lies in my social perception and i am just. not being perceived. at all. darn #i have a lot to cry about but morally i dont think i should-- specifics would mean being mean to the people i love #talking to anyone anymore just makes me feel horrible. doing anything anymore makes me feel horrible..tmbg has my back though ill live for #another.week or a few. and then my birthday will happen and rhen um #.Well. it sucks that sucks man. i dont want to disclose my age but to elaborate on why ACTUALLY HOLD ON #the thing i am about to say is not true; it is a metaphorical thing: it is my 21st birthday soon.#i decided that i wouldnt live past this age around 5 years ago and the only reason ive lived five years is being killed this year. i dont #think every thing ive been desperately clinging on to for the past 2 (?) years can keep me alive past then..i think im going to die. i have #to #NO MORE BEING A DOWNER #fox (vulpes vulpes) on the Internet for the first time #okay maybe a little more..i dont know who im talking to in this post. my friends do not read my tumblr and. i dont know anyone else.really.#uh #I'm listen to tmbg right now i love them #hey reader; i can only think of 3 people who see enough about me to check my blog. so i have separate questions for the each of you.#one of you likes (liked? school came in and i couldnt see your blog much past then; idk if its changed) tmbg. what do you think of The Else?#and uh you there... the guyyy. Google john flansburgh..i dont have a reason to this one ive just not been able to stop thinking about askin #you what you think of him.#um third person..... um #okay theres nothing iecan ask. i do want to apologize to you though: im sorry.#iThis is bullshit #im gonna delete this soon #Um also sorry if my wording here is. really wack. i tend to do that #i dont think anyones going to see this as is always #i think i just like talking to the hypothetical beast. yeah

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tbhshaped · 5 months

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SO glad fnf isn't as popular as it used to be, because everything got. So. Incredibly. Out of hand. the community feels so much more like the original target audience now

#everyone just forget about everything that happened with the mods #and the community #we're so back guys #i love seeing other people who love newgrounds #and grew up on newgrounds #thats basically the entire community now #thank GOD #never let media breach it's target audience and go into the mainstream media #Please #ok ill stop fnf posting sorry its cringe

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jarchivussy · 1 year

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what is it with people on the internet these days.. you know not everyone has to be included in everything right. it's ok to have separate spaces. a place with people like you is a normal thing to want. you understand this. right?

#txt #first e.ndos then bi lesbians now mentailly ill able bodied ppl in cripplepunk....#let's stop. ok lets all stop and take a breath before calling anyone who says a group of people shouldn't be included in space made to #include other people “ter.fy”#because i have seen “t.erf” equivalent words for all three of these #and i have seen a transfem lesbian being called a t.erf over not wanting men in lesbian spaces #and i just think. not everyone should be included everywhere #sometimes u've got to shut your mouth and listen when a minority tells you they are being pushed out of their space <3 #^ inspired by me going into the cripple punk tag and first post assaulting me with “merd” (mentally ill exclusionary radically disabled)#which like. sorry but if you unironically use that term idc if you're a cripple yourself. you need to shut the fuck up #ableism

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rosicheeks · 6 months

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Unfortunately relatable. I grew up in the church and have a lot of Christian trauma from that. I show up for special occasions for my parents… sometimes. But it’s uncomfortable from the moment I step through the door. Bigoted pastor, the self-righteousness disguising the prejudice, the political comments from the altar. Shots at young people left right and center as if the hell on earth wasn’t caused by the same older generation 90% of the congregation belongs to..

I miss being young in the choir and the youth groups and not struggling with it. It’s wild to look back at the younger version of me who was unshakeable in his faith and honestly just saddening.

I was texting my sister today about it and she said

“I 100% think ALL of us have a ton of religious trauma and everyone else in the family just doesn’t realize it cause they’re still drinking the kool-aid.”

I ran out of tag room and didn’t want to delete any 😭 seriously not lying I could write a book about all my thoughts and experiences

#I relate to all of this so much #and it’s so sad how many people truly have religious trauma #I still find myself lucky and privileged cause I know there are stories MUCH worse than mine #it’s really hard cause my parents still think I’m a Christian #honestly at this point I have no clue what i am #even if I end up still being a Christian that doesn’t help or heal all of the years of church trauma #but the hard part is still acting the part for my parents #growing up I always tried to fit into the good Christian girl mold #cause I know that’s what my parents wanted and I didn’t want to disappoint them #but once I started smoking weed and they found out? it went all downhill from there #their perfect angel fell from heaven #and I feel like ever since I haven’t been really their daughter…. I’ve just been living on the outside looking in to everything #it hurts looking back at all the years I spent brainwashed into believing that was the ONLY faith #it genuinely makes me sick to my stomach thinking about the fact that I went to a pro life rally #the thing I was talking to my sister about was how mental health was never talked about in the church #when I started dealing with it and went to my parents or the pastors or any adult really and told them what I was dealing with #wanna know what the first thing they would ALWAYS say? well have you prayed about it? the way they treated mental illness was that it was #YOUR fault cause God is punishing you for something…. that you need to pray or go to church so then God will eventually take it away #and the thing is I don’t necessarily blame my parents (which kinda sucks cause I want to blame someone)#but honestly it’s just the environment they grew up in too… like I’m 99% sure my dad has dealt with depression his entire life #but won’t get diagnosed or anything cause they always believe faith has something to do with it #which makes me incredibly sad cause I just think about how much my dad has suffered and how he didn’t need to #^^ I was typing this out when I was late to my family gathering hahaha but then I think my sister called or something so I had to stop #sorry this post is all over the place - I swear I could write a book about religious trauma #yesterday went ok surprisingly but today? TODAY is going to be so much worse #sure I’ll make a post about it later but I guessssss I should go to bed now? it’s 2am and I have to get up at 5:45 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#and I have a fuuuuull day of fun Christian festivities while I’m dealing with all of this bottled up and unresolved crap from my past #please don’t get me wrong I love my parents and like I said I don’t blame them - they did their best #it just really sucks wondering what my life would have been like if I didn’t grow up in the church or in a super religious family #I wonder if when I told my parents I was depressed if they would have instantly brought me in to get help

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strwbrymlkshake · 2 years

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Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(

#mine #oh boy here we go. guy last post was about has been pretty cool and i got flustered around him a few times #but i feel bad bc. i need m o r e he isnt insane enough he isnt making me go absolutely crazy i want to be satisfied but im NOT im sorry #like its quite honestly the most attention acceptance etc ive gotten but its not ENOUGH he doesnt die whenever i send a selfie #im never satisfied WHY i have unrealistic expectations !!!! i hate my brain killing and violence and death etc #i get crushes on guys who want nothing to do with me but then when one actually wants me its not enough? what is wrong with me #thrill of the chase? i cant accept being loved? what is it brain. christ almighty. im not doing anything like deliberately yandere related #anymore im just being generally incomprehensibly mentally ill 🙄 still trying to find a therapist but idk how on earth ill explain that #ill update this post tomorrow with more insanity but for now i am the sleepy tired #// ok its now 3 days later i dont feel like making another post. i think i was just having a mental illness moment as always #because he does make me insane. hashtag girl. im trying to be the smartest and calculated i have ever been with a relationship in my life #like im thinkin about it so hard bro. the future n shit. how would this relationship go. im so scared ill do something wrong its preventing #me from doing things RIGHT. im sad becaude i flipped out today over even imagining him being upset with me a little #so i was really embarrassed and it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night but he reassured me he doesnt hate me or want me to die #every one aaalways says theyre different. i can only hope this one is telling the truth. i dont know what ill do if he isnt.#well i need to stop whining about fictional scenarios and focus on the good stuff in reality. i get along with him very well and he #is very niceys to me :3 he doesnt think im fucking insane or stupid for overreacting. i feel very comfortable gossiping and talking w him #every long time blog viewer of mine reading this like ah shit here we go again #but thats what im here for. i guess. just have to keep doing this shit until something good finally happens to me romantically hngh #i feel so strange because i have wanted and yearned for a relationship but now that i actually could have one im like WAIT #I DIDNT THINK ID GET THIS FAR 💀💀💀 bruh. and he doesnt even think im stupid hes respectful to me he checks in on me all the time #like perhaps the only person to ever actually almost match my energy in a romantic sense. there was [redacted] i guess but he didnt love me #he listens to me talk about my problems he doesnt think i complain or overreact too much. all the ridiculous cringe shit i do #he doesnt mind it. its nice to be able to be myself. and im really proud of myself for not rushing into a relationship right away

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dullahandyke · 9 months

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the thing is even as my version of the ace attorney universe is heavily modified to fit the themes of the characters within it, idk if thats even the right choice for the place to put them in bcos its not quite working. but also sooo much of it plays on aa status quo that id have to entirely reinvent parts if i wanted to preserve that effect

#like ive been playing dgs and i read a Really good oc insert kh fic recently #and im like holy shit these r so good... n then my ocverse is kind of incoherant and not cohesive #and logically i know that the only way to get to it being good is to work on it #but thats haaard and these characters have literal years of baggage in my mind that i cant divorce them from #+ if i were to ever actually write their story itd have to Feel like ace attorney with like cases and banter n shit #and theres parts of my changed worldbuilding that would actively make that difficult to work with #let alone my lack of faith in my ability to emulate aa stuff #sigh. ok first ill move the puzzle pieces around in my head a bit more and try to get it all working #first stop is working more on ames bcos even tho shes the protagonist shes so underdeveloped...#like i remember a time when occult yamamoto (yes that used to be her name i was 13) was my favourite ever ever she was all i drew #there are pictures of her onmy bedroom walls i threw her and her twin sister an irl birthday party #and now the tone of the post has switched to mourning the loss of passion i used to have for ocs and stuff. great #maybe i need to get into oc roleplay again. fangan discords were my old hunting grounds so mayhaps...#tho that would necessitate like. messaging and stuff. and im bad at that (friday seven im Sorry i see your dms ill get back to u soon)#shrug idk... ANYWHOOOO ill thonk on it

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