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#ok ive been thinking about it bc it was itching at me and i guess what feels weird is like...
aztarion · 4 months
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I finally booted up Night Road over the weekend... after meaning to play this when it came out, but hey, it only took me a few years? 😅 The VtM art community here has been astounding (including yours!) and definitely motivated me with that, so thank you 🙏
It's been scratching the itch left since I played Bloodlines, like 14/15 years ago 😱 So good! I hope you don't mind me asking, but will you be working on more Night Road art pieces and I'm curious if you had a music playlist on during the game? Feels like something that would be make it more atmospheric! 🩵
ok but same!! i knew about night road when it released back in 2020 but i think thats when i was still in my bg3 early access madness so i never got around to checking it out… which is a freakin crying shame because it is absolutely objectively one of my favourite games ever. cannot kiss the authors ass enough. and agreed, the vtm & larger WoD creative community is insanely talented. im still a beginner at digital art but thank you for including me anyway ♥️😭 although i am a little sad being 4 yrs late to the night road party when nobody is making fan art for it specifically
i dont mind at all omg & YEAS! i have so many night road doodles im trying to clean up a little before putting into a sketch dump, plus that lettow render & a julian render, a bigger lettow/courier sketch, & a night road style portrait for my courier!! all going at the same time because i have no impulse control, but its making me learn new techniques & helping develop some sort of cohesive style between pieces i guess…….. we can only hope lol. im currently playing through book of hungry names & working on 2 commissions so im a little slow but ill be back to night road soon bc im literally in love with it. if u have any ideas or requests as well for night road art definitely send them my way or @ashlandr & ill get to them whenever im supposed to be working from home i have time :D <3
i dont use spotify much but i tried to gather up a lot of what ive been vibing to on soundcloud & other places while playing thru night road over the last month!!
and thank you for being so sweet!!!<333
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yuukei-yikes · 1 year
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Okay okay okay I have a very specific itch to hear about Mekakushi Dan sensory needs and bc you're the first person I can think of who has drawn them stimming I thought your askbox was the perfect place to launch myself. If you have thoughts here pls feed me. Bonus points for Takane's sensory needs + challenges before becoming a computer program and post str bc I do think her needs would be different than they were before?? I think not having a body for 2 years would do that to you
HI ok i dont have a lot of headcanons in general its mostly haruka and takane and mostly takane. i think haruka is the one ive drawn stimming the most Like i just think that guy would flap his little hands around yknow.
so im sorry i dont have hcs for the whole mekadan. IF UR INTERESTED IN A PARTICULAR MEKADAN GUY u can ask me and I'll come up with something >:3 it just feels overwhelming to think of it all at once. and also u said takane and you know damn well im abt to talk for 1 million hours
ok. takane❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ sorry this isn't sensory needs but girl.. takanes Gamer Secret being found out... idk man it's like. this bitch had been MASKING‼️‼️‼️
even in hs days i think takane feels weird about Touching with her hands. she doesn't have the cartoonishly large sleeves she has as ene, but i think she pulls down her sleeves over her hands like in this specific manga panel i indeed have in speed dial
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i wish it appeared more often bc its a cute shoutout to ene later on and also WOOO THIS BITCH HAS SENSORY ISSUES!!! i made a comic abt it once but haruka designing actor with the bigass sleeves because he observed that takane pulls down her sleeves. *bite bite bite bite bite* also this panel has always been a fave of mine bc of autism creature takane and also bc the desk is like. at haruka's chest and he looks like he's sitting on the ground
i also think its very funny to imagine takane kicking ass in games while holding the controller with her sleeves over it and everyone's like ?????girl what. ofc she probably has specific textures she hates and all that, takane doesnt feel weird about touching as a whole.
in several instances of yuukei yesterday haruka and takane casually touch each other and while thats obviously cuz they're close friends, a lot of close friends dont act that way or arent comfortable with touch yknow!! in fact takanes the one to start most physical interactions with him. i could be crazy enough to go and check but im gonna trust my memory. and bc i love art where ene is jumping on shintaro and stuff i like to think takane is Actually touchy with ppl she trusts. also she doesnt register personal space sometimes, and ends up standing too close without noticing until someone points it out. i guess this is a bit contrary to a typical takane interpretation (UR STANDING TOO CLOSE DUMBASS🙄🙄🙄🙄 tsundere moment) but i think it's a fun spin to it. i think kenjirou is the one to most point it out like Girl step BACK ur all in my zone and she's like UGH WHATEVER and haruka also notices but never rly says anything. he probably loves it lol haruka's so overdue physical connection he loves that takane doesn't mind touching him or being close to him. also since they have a big height difference its not like she's all up on his face. i think takane starts letting go more once her ene secret's out and stops caring so much but it sorta comes back when ayano and shintaro join the group. i think shintaro especially would point out UGH WHY ARE YOU STANDING SO CLOSE TO ME or even question why she's so close to haruka or ayano. haruka and ayano are all like NOOO DONT WORRY I DONT MIND but takanes already mortified and is more self aware
another one. takane with her big old headphones. yeah yeah uses them disconnected to get haruka's attention Whatever she also uses them bc she prefers hearing stuff muffled instead of hearing it directly 👍 when she gets overwhelmed she puts those things on with the music to the max and just logs out for a min
OH also this is a canon one😼😼😼 her leg bouncy thing. shintaro points it out in the seventh novel that takane is bouncing her leg and says it's a nervous habit he never noticed on her but TO ME. SHE DOES THAT❤️ takane has huge leg bouncer energy i bet she makes the whole table shake and everyone asks her to quit it and she says Damn ok sorry and stops it for a total of 50 seconds before starting again
anyways in summary hs takane is like. tends not to notice personal space, hates touching stuff with her hands, likes having control over what or how she hears, and has a tough time staying still. POST STR... its all to the max. takane is overly aware of everything. all 5 senses are as much of a nightmare as they are a relief and it's all mixed together!!!!
ok her sensory needs that she already had pre ene are still there but completely amped up, except the personal space one. now everyone is always too close and literally just opening her eyes (HEH!! OPENING EYES!!!!) is super overwhelming bc WHOA EVERYTHING IS SO CLOSE AND HUGE AND HD. i could imagine comparing it to like, wearing contacts for the first time for any fellow glasses wearing people. like u know this, youve seen all this. but suddenly youre watching it differently without a frame around ur eyes and it just feels weird. for takane the frame was a screen instead of the glasses yknow. and to her its A LOT
i think post str takane keeps using her powers and having meltdowns because on top of all the existentialism she has to deal with being alive and everything, suddenly She Cannot Control Anything And It Is A Nightmare. she can't handle the lack of control she has over her needs and body temperature. just feeling hungry or sweating after walking for a little in summer makes her upset. bc she gets her body back during summer so GOOD LUCK WITH THAT GIRL. the clothes she wears feel all insane and irritated and nauseous!!! awful!!! even showers feel strange bc AUGGHHH so much is touching her at once!!! she also hates eating soooo yeah also a thing. i think she's always been a picky eater but post str its like she will only eat like 2 things or something
ON THE OTHER HAND.... it suddenly goes on the opposite end. like for a few days she's nightmare overstim city and then she's SUPER understim and COMPLETELYYYYY over eager about having a body and horribly indulges in like. overeating and running around <- overeating (especially when u usually avoid eating), awful for ur tummy. running a lot when u have chronic pains, also awful for ur pains later. sooo nothing she wont pay the price for later. it needs to get pointed out to her she needs to find a balance and cant have all or nothing (by haruka probably)
the personal space thing comes back here like she gets So touchy and needs hug or death. i think she can be all happy hugging haruka and all of a sudden pushes him away and is like WHOA I NEED TO GET OUT OF MY BODY RIGHT NOW MAYBE RIP MY SKIN OFF TOO MAYBE so it's rly like a light switch all of a sudden she can get overwhelmed with it and revert. like jumping back and forth between seeking and avoiding sensation.
i drew this once but haruka with his arms inside of takane's sleeves LOLLL i think skin to skin rly helps her when she's feeling like she needs sensation. a big part of the sudden overindulgence is OUGH IM REAL!!!! bc like i said takane isnt just dealing with having a body again she's dealing with having her Life again. being alive again. and she LOVES being alive. and the avoidance of all these sensations sometimes piles up and ends on the opposite like I NEED TO EAT💥💥💥I NEED TO SCREAM💥💥💥💥I NEED TO RUN AND HUG AND KISS AND DANCE AND SWIM💥💥💥 yknow. so yeah haruka helps her a lot with it when she needs touching and hugging 🙏🙏🙏 cuz he also wont get offended if she's suddenly like Ok get away from me before i explode🙏
also post str takane To Me also has mobility issues like haruka does bc all her muscles are atrophied from yknow Not moving for 2 years so it's like, even more that she has to deal with. physical therapy is incredibly invasive to her too so it's extra difficult. i think haruka and her do it together and that's why haruka is so on top of what's going on with her, he's the closest and sees her whenever she's the most vulnerable. also their situations are So similar they cant help just gravitating to each other for support. i also think haruka's the one to always point out to her when she's overindulging like Hey i love that ur rly enjoying that bigmac but i can already see you wanting to rip out ur organs later tonight so maybe dont eat a third one.
anyways ermmm takane's biggest challenge is Stop resorting to opening eyes whenever it gets too bad. like i also got sensory issues and assuming whoever is reading also does imagine having the option to just Jump out of ur body when its feeling Awful. ofc ur gonna take it when ur feeling like that. but it doesn't help takane to do it. while it helps her to calm down, it's not good in the long run. she actively wants a PHYSICAL life and work on all this. takane never wanted to die and is super motivated to get better but it's not quick or easy!!! eventually she finds a good balance i think. she's still a rly touchy person who hates grabbing her phone directly without the sleeves in the middle and will only eat like 3 things❤️ but also a hug lover❤️
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theloveinc · 2 years
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hmm
#ok ive been thinking about it bc it was itching at me and i guess what feels weird is like...#i think everyone wants interaction . big blogs AND small blogs and everyone in between#even if they don't write regularly#so to ignore the kind words of ur anons trying to reassure u ... AND misunderstanding their points? just feels super nazsty to me#people leaving tumblr also means fans leaving tumblr too ???#quote unquote fans#esp since like. why are u blaming ur followers for this? people SHOULD interact w/ everyone but no one is really at fault for#talking to their fave ppl and not to u#PLUS there are way more polite ways to ask than 'i miss doing this!!! ppl don't want me except for content'#idk. u voluntarily write content?#so u should expect a mix of responses to it vs. like the automatic assumption that u want to be told random stuff so u can respond to it#idkkkkkkkk#just felt like she was saying:#'i want ppl to interact with me bc i like it... and not bc ppl actually want to interact with me'#and maybe i justsay this bc im unfamiliar with one place#but...#ur in the stranger things fandom so it might not work the same as the anime fandom#dunnnnnnooooooooooooooo#i think WE ALL work hard for more personal interaction but it takes time#i was also gonna say........ hmmmm#i cant remember but ill come back and edit this if i do#OH it was something like... also if u cant support other writers too / sustain interaction w/ them................#what are u really asking for? it's not like the message is making the community better#it's just making ur situation better when ur in a very specific niche#caitie blabs
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chaelinsbitch · 3 years
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i’ve been itching to get this out of my system bc i see it everywhere 😭😭 like okay, i know ppl end up marrying/loving ppl who share similar features to their family (as that’s who’ve they grown up with) but like when white men marry poc women? or when white men with white parents marry black women i can’t stop thinking abt how that got into their system and my mind spirals to the fact that do these men like these women bc of they view them as “exotic” objects or do they enjoy the power control of being a privileged white man? idk i’m sorry but interracial relationships including white ppl never make sense to me even if it’s a white woman and a poc man. i get that their surroundings influence them too likw maybe they grew up in a poc neighbourhood or something but other than that it doesn’t sit right with me...... then i start feeling like one of those old baba’s that preach abt how bad whites are😭 ok sorry i always feel the need to share my deep thoughts with you bc not many are up for convos like this 🙏🏼 have a great day tho😎
BDJDHDB LMAO I'm dying seeing this out of the blue 😂😂😂 the way your mind works is so beautiful <3 I'm on mobile rn but I'm gonna try putting this in a readmore cuz long pointless rambles so let's hope it works lol
nah but I was lowkey thinking about this topic the other day too lmao and tbh idk man. Clearly a lot of relationships have worked out for ppl in white/poc relationships so either the poc (I guess it depends on that person's individual experience growing up as well) so I guess there is a point of understanding on both parts in terms of one partys lack of knowledge of the others experiences (aka white ppl being open to being an "ally" and learning of their poc partners background and/or experiences) and it's def different I feel for ppl like us who have more cultural connections to their family's cultures than other poc ppl yk. Like with ppl who grew up essentially the same for the most part except for some aspects of their family/culture/skin it would be easier? Maybe? Idk fjdhdj Highkey honestly I would never be w a white person either LOL even w Brown girls Ive seen a lot of them end up w white guys and every time I'm just like..okay girl are u tryna #escape ur family and experience #freedom or whatever cuz idk why else u would get w a mayo.... Idk man. Like I know that there are white ppl out there who are I guess #woke (even guys? I guess?) So it's easy to be around them at some level idk???? Like idk even w friends I've had some good white friends but I've also had plenty that have been absolutely exhausting for a lot of reasons and I could not imagine living the rest of my life like that 💀 but Love is Love I guess idk bdjdbd maybe it doesn't help that I don't have much relationship experience either LOL. But yeah I mean (white) ppl who have grown up in more diverse communities I guess are more likely to be more open and such? But I've also seen a lot of ppl fetishizing their partners and their mixed children as well so :/ sorry my rambles are so all over the place idk exactly where I'm tryna go w it rn hdidhdb other than I guess at the end of the day it's about the ~people~ and ~love~ or whatever? (Love isn't real tho so 🤷‍♀️) but I also agree with u completely LOL we can both be babas on our rocking chairs preaching to all the children who we force to listen to us ♥️
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ruby-read · 3 years
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mid-year book freak out tag! - 2021
best book so far
a court of mist and fury by sarah j maas - 5 / 5 stars
need i say more? it was just so good.
best sequel so far
bitterblue by kristin cashore - 5 / 5 stars
i don't think i have talked about the graceling realm series and how much i love it on here but here i am.
i loved every book in this series but bitterblue stood out to me because even though it was incredibly long, it kept me gripped throughout. there was an unsolvable mystery (maybe im dense though) that kept me guessing for hundreds of pages and just a glimmer of romance which i usually miss when its not there but this stood on its own without it.
i thought bitterblue was an extremely strong character and it was a great ending to a companion trilogy (before winterkeep was announced and continued it). also, loved seeing all of the characters come together at the end and seeing katsa and po pop in and out.
new release i haven't read yet but want to
the nature of witches by rachel griffin realm breaker by victoria aveyard
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something about witches and elemental magic just sounds so awesome to me and i am just so drawn to this book.
and i am currently enjoying the red queen series and love a good found family so im hoping to love realm breaker. ive heard mixed things so im gonna lower my expectations a little but still excited.
most anticipated release for the second half of the year
these hollow vows by lexi ryan aurora's end by *** ******** graceling: the graphic novel by kristin cashore six crimson cranes by elizabeth lim the hawthorne legacy by jennifer lynn barnes
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idk why i am so excited about these hollow vows but i am and i think it's just gonna be a (hopefully) exciting fantasy romance. im hoping for two sexy men and a bad BITCHHH of a main character.
ive heard only amazing things about six crimson cranes so i am very very excited! i've been waiting for this book i think since january and its almost finally here!
aurora's end (even though the authors are cancelled) i NEED to finish the series then they will officially never receive my money again. the cliffhanger at the end of aurora burning was so incredibly uncool and so now i have no choice but to see what happens in the finale.
the graceling graphic novel. do i need to explain myself?
and the hawthorne legacy is the next installment in the inheritance games series and i really enjoyed the first book! the mystery and the way patterns were worked into it really had me intrigued and i was itching to know what was happening for the entire book. so excited to see what happens in the next one!
biggest disappointment
the crown of gilded bones by jennifer l armentrout - currently on pause/possible dnf
this book was just so boring but also SO much happened in the first 50 pages that i was honestly incredibly confused? and there was just overwhelming info-dumping about the history of the world and an underdeveloped plot. idk i just couldn't get into it (which was really disappointing bc i loved akofaf). thinking of dnfing...
biggest surprise
crown of midnight by sarah j maas - 4.5 / 5 stars
ok so. i really did not enjoy throne of glass. after reading the acotar series and then jumping into throne of glass, i hated the love triangle, the intrigue wasnt enough to get me engaged until the last third, etc. sooo i was even considering not reading the rest of the series. but of course like the sjm stan that i am, i had to. and this one was so good. i wrote a review on it so if your interested in more in depth thoughts go take a peak!
favorite new author (debut or new to me)
kristin cashore!
the way that she writes political mystery in her world is so good. not a single time did i have a correct guess on what was happening. i also loved how her books had strong woman main characters, but they all had agency in a different way. and how the romance subplots were small but enough to keep the romantic in me satisfied, but also didnt take away from the main heroines story. ugh just so good! love u girly <3
new fictional crush
aaron warner (shatter me series by tahereh mafi)
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ok i know hes kind of like super crazy and kind of creepy obsessed, but also like.... cmon. hes kinda super hot too. and i kind of love the i hate everyone but you trope....
art credit: @jessdraw.s
new favorite character
lara (bridge kingdom series by danielle l jensen)
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her strength, her agency, her ability to unlearn everything she grew up believing, her power. an amazing and complex character.
art credit: @rosiesfables
books that made me cry
a court of wings and ruin by sarah j maas
if you've read this book u understand why. there was a happy ending for our two main characters at the end but the war that ensued at the end of this book was just fucking heart wrenching and so beautiful at parts i will never forget everything that happened.
books that made me happy
heartstopper vol. 1 by alice oseman
i feel like this series is great for young readers (12-17). it teaches about friendship, sexuality, mental health, asking for help, how to offer help, etc. and tons of really diverse representation throughout. i wish this existed when i was younger.
it made me happy to think about young people reading this series and feeling seen and validated. and about how openly alice oseman illustrates difficult topics and how to deal with them. just made my heart swell.
most beautiful book bought/gifted so far
the ones we're meant to find by joan he
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i mean... its gorgeous!!
books i need to read by the end of the year
crescent city by sarah j maas
again as a stan i need to finish this before the end of the year bc i have only heard good things and the second book comes out jan 2022.
favorite book to movie adaptation so far
moxie, shadow and bone, brigerton lol (and very excited about along for the ride!!)
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2021 reading stats so far...
45 books read
35,000 pages read
11 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ reads
4.13 average rating
thanks so much for reading my mid-year update! happy reading! : )
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buckyskorpion · 4 years
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tess brain go hnnnnnnngh
hello this is only thing ive written in like a week and its for a new fic im SORRY but i thought i would post it anyway bc i have nothing else to offer hehe. it’s the beginning of my fic for laur’s writing challenge and boy oh boy has this morphed into it’s own beast. under the cut for those who dont care
“You know she’s not going to be happy about this,” Sam says.
“She’s never happy about anything,” Bucky replies. He flicks at a photograph pinned to your corkboard, your arm around some guy kissing your temple while you grin at the camera. There’s a bunch of photos just like it with the same dude; receding hairline, squinty blue eyes, tall but skinny in a vaguely malnourished way. One photo from what looks like a Halloween party catches his interest. You have a cardboard sign hanging over your shoulders to look like a square from the periodic table, and it reads ‘AH! The element of surprise’. Nerds, Bucky thinks with a scowl, and turns away from the corkboard.
Your office is nothing like he thought it would be, and that aggravates him. It’s hardly surprising - most things about you aggravate him. You have statues of Star Wars characters on your desk, a dying pot plant in the corner, books on quantum mechanics and Deutsch propositions left open and scribbled in on the coffee table. There’s too much personality left carelessly lying around, and none of it is yours. Bucky can’t wait to get the hell out of here.
Sharon walks in first, closing the door softly behind her and shoots them both a grimace. “She’s coming, but, uh- she’s not happy about this.”
“See?” Sam says, gesturing to Sharon as if she’s proving his point when Bucky agreed with him. He turns to face Sam lounging in the armchair on the other end of the room and flicks him the finger.
“Let’s try and contain this situation, shall we?” Sharon says. She’s nervous, Bucky notes, moving to stand in the middle of the room and smoothing down non-existent creases in her slacks. She refuses to look at Bucky, and that gives him a bad feeling. “Just listen to her yell for a bit. Bucky - let us do the talking, ok?”
Sharon is still not looking at him. Bucky nods instead of replying, baiting her to glance over, which she does. She trains her eyes on his nose and gives him a frankly insulting smile of recognition, immediately turning back to the door as her face drops. Bucky’s bad feeling intensifies.
Before he can try and figure out why one of the best Agents of SHIELD and former CIA operative can’t seem to pretend everything is fine, the door to the office slams open. It bounces back, smacks you in the shoulder as you storm into the room, and you push it back again with an aggravated shout. Sam rolls his lips together to smother his laugh but Bucky doesn’t bother. You turn a murderous glare onto him, and the shouting begins.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?” You march up to Sharon and jab a finger in her chest, forcing her back a step. “You gave me this job, why the hell are you coming in here fucking it all up?”
“We have some new developments,” Sharon says, keeping her voice even like she’s trying to placate a feral dog. It does not have the desired effect.
“Ever thought of picking up the phone?” you shout, throwing your hands wide. “Sending a text? A letter? A carrier pigeon? Anything but showing up to my six month long deep cover mission with two of the most recognisable faces on the fucking planet! Really, Sharon? Captain America?”
“She’s right, y’know,” Sam says, smiling through Sharon’s warning glare. “My face is pretty unforgettable.”
“It’s good to see you, Sam” you say, gritting your teeth like it physically pains you to derail your tirade for some niceties. “You should’ve left Barnes at home.”
“I offered to stay in the car,” Bucky says. He smiles, all teeth, and you poke your tongue out at him.
“Do you know how difficult it has been to be stuck here playing dumb with this bunch of incels for six fucking months?” You say, spinning away from Sharon now to open the small fridge in the corner. You pull out one of those mini bottles of whiskey and down half of it, baring your teeth at the sting. “Please don’t make it all for nothing or I will kill you all, and then myself.”
“The timeline has moved up,” Sharon says. She shakes her head when you offer her the rest of your whiskey and you shrug, chugging the remaining half. Sam makes an offended noise and you grab another one, chucking it towards him as he makes grabby hands. Bucky doesn’t even bother asking.
“That’s funny, because as far as I remember it’s me who sets the timeline,” you say. “And I say it’s staying exactly the fucking same.”
“Look, I know this has been a rough mission-“
“Rough? I am watching a bunch of psychopathic virgins reinvent time travel at a snails pace whilst entertaining their neo-nazi purist ideals and I haven’t been able to physically hurt any of them? Rough is an understatement.” you say.
“Sounds terrible,” Bucky says with an eye roll. Everyone in the room turns to glare at him.
“I’d like to see you spend one day with these scumbags,” you seethe, stepping forward with your teeth bared.
“Something tells me it can’t be any worse than having my brain fried by Nazi’s, sweetheart,” Bucky says. You hate when he condescends you like that, and Bucky knows it. You make to throw the empty mini-whiskey bottle at him but Sharon steps in-between you two, holding her hands up with a disappointed frown.
“Bucky, you were supposed to leave the talking to us,” Sharon says. She turns to you and adds, “And you would do well to remember that I’m your boss, agent. I give the orders.”
“Aw, let them fight,” Sam says from the armchair. “It’ll be fun.”
“Enough,” Sharon says. She claps her hands together to regain control of the room, but it’s tenuous. To you, she says, “We need you to speed up __________’s research. Find a way, I don’t care how, but in a month they need to figure out Stark’s theory of time travel.”
“Excuse me?” You glance between Sharon, Sam, and Bucky like someone can offer an explanation but no one does. Incredulously, you say, “I’ve been here slowing them down so they don’t figure it out, and now you want me to- speed them along? Give them the answer?”
“Yes,” Sharon says. Her eyes are saying something else to only you and Bucky aches to know what it is. “Sam and Bucky have come across some new intel that requires the _____ to finish their machine. We need you to help them get there in one month’s time.”
“Am I allowed to know this new, game-changing intel?” you ask. There’s a muscle ticking in your jaw that looks set to explode any second.
“Only that there is someone who is very interested in buying into what the ________ come up with,” Sharon says. “When you’ve completed your mission, you will be fully briefed.”
“Oh, great,” you say with an eyeroll. “I love ambiguity.”
“You’re a spy,” Sam says, staring at you. “That’s literally your entire life.”
“Can we focus?” Sharon asks, shooting Sam a warning glare to which he holds his hands up in a Gesture of innocence. To you, she asks, “Do you understand your mission?”
“No,” you say simply, turning away from Sam to have a silent conversation with Sharon that involves a lot of eyebrow movements. Softly, as if no one else in the room can hear you, you say, “You know why I can’t let them figure it out.”
Sam and Bucky share a look while the two spies in the room have some kind of telepathic argument. It doesn’t seem to last long. Once again, the bad feeling in Bucky’s gut returns when you look to the floor and don’t make eye-contact with any of them again. As per usual in Bucky’s life there are things left unsaid, omitted by silence, and he itches to know what has your shoulders rounding and the fight you always fling around like confetti, dying out as quickly as it flared up.
“The goal remains the same,” Sharon says, “but as I said, the timeline has changed. We will see you in a month or so, agent.”
“I guess you will,” you say. Sam claps you on the shoulder as he walks out and Sharon hands you a dossier with your new mission parameters. Bucky always feels awkward with goodbyes, especially with people he doesn’t particularly like and who don’t like him in return. You glare at your toes and say, “Don’t even think about touching me, Barnes.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he says. He shoves his hands in his pockets as he walks past you and adds, “Don’t fuck it up.”
“You’ll know if I do,” you bite back, just as the door closes behind him. Your words follow him down the hall, past the laboratories blinking with dull red security lights and the fire exit door they left chocked open when they broke in. He doesn’t like the way that sits in his brain. It clunks around, tinkering with things he’d rather leave untouched.
Spies, Bucky thinks. They always find a way to get inside his head.
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cherri-ice · 7 years
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All the numbers
fuck you 
1. Who was the last person you held hands with?
uH MY CLOSE FRIEND LMAO? 2. Are you outgoing or shy?
lowkey both?? im more shy but if i know the person im incredibly outgoing 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?
MY LOWKEY GF4. Are you easy to get along with?
oft no 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?
YEP6. What kind of people are you attracted to?
ppl who are kind !! also ppl who could either break me or love me 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?
,, hopefully8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?
,,, can i say keaton henson bc his music makes me sob9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
no but depending w who lmao :””^10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
mm i think my friend from school abt shitty people ngl 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?
”do you think it’d be a good idea for me to run and get tea right now”12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
ok jeez
1. cherry bomb - the runaways (wow, original)
2. all of sevdalizas songs ever
3. blood // water - grandson
4. charger - gorillaz
5. pools - glass animals
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?
YESYEYSYESYEYSYES. fuck yes.14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?
mhm!!15. What good thing happened this summer?
err i mean, if u count summer as past summer then convincing my dang dad that i dont wanna stay at my shitty school lmao?? 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
depends on what kind of kiss !! but ye!!17. Do you think there is life on other planets?
pfft, absolutely 18. Do you still talk to your first crush?
,,, i dont think so tbh19. Do you like bubble baths?
HELL YE I DO20. Do you like your neighbors?
ngl i dont rly talk to them but they seem Nice21. What are your bad habits?
if i dont know someone all too well i tend to joke around w them?? idk its weird but i kinda get annoyed easy as well,, altho another bad habit is my flaky ass backing out of events sometimes22. Where would you like to travel?
i’d love to ,,, travel to scotland or france23. Do you have trust issues?
oh boy i do24. Favorite part of your daily routine?
going the hell to sleep again and wrapping myself up25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?
every part w scars lmao26. What do you do when you wake up?
take my dang meds27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?
,, idk?? i like my skin tbh but it could clear tf up28. Who are you most comfortable around?
my sister29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?
nope :””^ 30. Do you ever want to get married?
yes!!31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?
ye lmao32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?
,,, IM 16 LETS NOT GO HERE33. Spell your name with your chin.
aki34. Do you play sports? What sports?
i work out but i dont play sport lmao35. Would you rather live without TV or music?
without tv, music is my lifeblood36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
almost always37. What do you say during awkward silences?
i try to joke abt smth usually38. Describe your dream girl/guy?
someone who cares for me smh39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?
T2, I LOVE TEA,,, 40. What do you want to do after high school?
university or nap 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
yes!! unless they’re super shitty42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?
i’m nervous, anxious or overthinking43. Do you smile at strangers?
i try to ??44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?
oo fuck outer space ty45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?
,, honestly talking to lovely ppl46. What are you paranoid about?
people abandoning me or being completely alone and shut in and just,, closed away from the world47. Have you ever been high?
tba48. Have you ever been drunk?
not rly lmao i have a high tolerance 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?
,, UM,,, lowkey yes50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?
olive51. Ever wished you were someone else?
before, yes. now? nah, i’m pretty good 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?
highkey wish i was less anxious 24/7
53. Favourite makeup brand?
NARS. nars. or kat von d altho i hate what she stands for
54. Favourite store?
T255. Favourite blog?
,, idk? 56. Favourite colour?
blue / green!!57. Favourite food? 
creme brulee58. Last thing you ate?
a rly good double cheese burger59. First thing you ate this morning?
croissant60. Ever won a competition? For what?
knowledge of novels for school!! or art wise, i’ve won a few comps inside our school61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?
nope62. Been arrested? For what?
nada63. Ever been in love? 
smh i fall in love,, way to easily64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?
,, jeez i hate the person who it was with, but it was underneath the harbour bridge after chocolate strawberries and a picnic,, she asked if she could kiss me and i said yes65. Are you hungry right now?
jfc not rly im super content tbh66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?
no @official-akko is a binch (im kidding i love u)67. Facebook or Twitter?
fb68. Twitter or Tumblr?
tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now?
nope but i was watching law and order svu 70. Names of your bestfriends? 
beauty, my cat71. Craving something? What?
cuddling someone and gently lying my head on their chest 72. What colour are your towels?
white!!72. How many pillows do you sleep with?
3 binch73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
yes!!74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?
on my bed is 2, but i think at least 5+ around 75. Favourite animal?
i love,, cats,,,, so fucking much 76. What colour is your underwear?
wouldn’t u like to know77. Chocolate or Vanilla?
vanilla78. Favourite ice cream flavour?
mm cookies and cream?79. What colour shirt are you wearing?
dark bluuee80. What colour pants?
grey81. Favourite tv show?
right now its between brooklyn 99 and stranger things82. Favourite movie?
i will never stop loving mulan or the princess diaries 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?
mean girls 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?
mean girls i guess 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?
,, janis ian86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?
uh the turtle smh87. First person you talked to today?
ash!! 88. Last person you talked to today?
rn, its niko89. Name a person you hate?
me90. Name a person you love?
ash91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?
GOD this one asshole from school i will actually brawl92. In a fight with someone?
not rly?? idk93. How many sweatpants do you have?
at least 494. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?
5!!95. Last movie you watched?
legally blonde pfft96. Favourite actress?
i lowkey love madelaine petsch97. Favourite actor?
shrugs loudly98. Do you tan a lot?
no im pale af99. Have any pets?
a cat!!100. How are you feeling?
tired, coffee makes me tired101. Do you type fast?
yep!! i can touch-type too so i dont even have to look most of the time as well lmao102. Do you regret anything from your past?
waayyy too fuckin much regret over what ive done to myself 103. Can you spell well?
ye!!104. Do you miss anyone from your past?
,, my grandma :105. Ever been to a bonfire party?
nope lmao106. Ever broken someone’s heart?
,, i think i have,,, 107. Have you ever been on a horse?
yes!! i go horseriding at least four times during the year108. What should you be doing?
sleeping probably109. Is something irritating you right now?
i have a fuckin itch on my leG110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?
yep,, oh boy 111. Do you have trust issues?
i already answered this lmao112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
,, my sister because i wanted her to comfort m e shes v sweet113. What was your childhood nickname?
”leash”114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?
yes!!115. Do you play the Wii?
sometimes116. Are you listening to music right now?
i am, its glass animals :””^117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?
yes!!118. Do you like Chinese food?
eh, iffy but i dont mind it!119. Favourite book?
THE NAME OF THE WIND BY PATRICK ROTHFUSS120. Are you afraid of the dark?
only a lil121. Are you mean?
,, i think i am sometimes122. Is cheating ever okay?
never ever ever ever is it okay.123. Can you keep white shoes clean?
yes! if not i fuckin clean em wth124. Do you believe in love at first sight?
not rly? i think love is something you have to grow and share together, kind of like a garden plant? works gotta go into it for it to blossom 125. Do you believe in true love?
i believe in it!126. Are you currently bored?
,, yea lmao127. What makes you happy?
memes, reading and tea ngl128. Would you change your name?
birthname? ye, probably lmao129. What your zodiac sign?
cancer! im an emotional fucking crab130. Do you like subway?
ye!131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
remind them im a lesbian132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
binnch this is a past question133. Favourite lyrics right now?
”Our skinIn time would tellCan I hold on to our genesIn my lifeI could not failWhen I run out will you leave?”
134. Can you count to one million?
i can but i’d loose track i have attention issues pfft135. Dumbest lie you ever told?
”i was late because my cat threw up one on of my school uniforms and i had to change”136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?
closed, idk who can trust anyone that much to keep them open137. How tall are you?
5′7!138. Curly or Straight hair?
i have wavy hair if this is asking m e139. Brunette or Blonde?
blonde140. Summer or Winter?
winter141. Night or Day?
night142. Favourite month?
july bc its cold and my birth month143. Are you a vegetarian?
nooppe144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?
milk chocolate!145. Tea or Coffee?
tea146. Was today a good day?
meh, highs and lows 147. Mars or Snickers?
mars148. What’s your favourite quote?
either:a. “And what we learn about ourselves in those moments, where the trigger has been squeezed, is this: the past is not dead. There are things that wait for us, patiently, in the dark corridors of our lives. We think we have moved on, put them out of mind, left them to desiccate and shrivel and blow away; but we are wrong. They have been waiting there in the darkness, working out, practicing their most vicious blows, their sharp hard thoughtless punches into the gut, killing time until we came back that way.” from Trigger Warning (Short fictions and disturbances), neil gaiman
or
b. “Perhaps the greatest faculty our minds possess is the ability to cope with pain. Classic thinking teaches us of the four doors of the mind, which everyone moves through according to their need.First is the door of sleep. Sleep offers us a retreat from the world and all its pain. Sleep marks passing time, giving us distance from the things that have hurt us. When a person is wounded they will often fall unconscious. Similarly, someone who hears traumatic news will often swoon or faint. This is the mind's way of protecting itself from pain by stepping through the first door.Second is the door of forgetting. Some wounds are too deep to heal, or too deep to heal quickly. In addition, many memories are simply painful, and there is no healing to be done. The saying 'time heals all wounds' is false. Time heals most wounds. The rest are hidden behind this door.Third is the door of madness. There are times when the mind is dealt such a blow it hides itself in insanity. While this may not seem beneficial, it is. There are times when reality is nothing but pain, and to escape that pain the mind must leave reality behind. Last is the door of death. The final resort. Nothing can hurt us after we are dead, or so we have been told.” - The name of the wind, patrick rothfuss
149. Do you believe in ghosts?
yes!! i believe that ghosts exist lmao, or at least guiding spirits 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?
“… but he left his doubts unspoken. Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.” - Game of thrones lmao
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zangse · 5 years
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omg you MISSED ME AW how cute of you omg dkdkdkd 💕💕💕 'fellow terran' IM DJDNDD you're so funny omg actually okay spoilers we're mutuals and when i first went on to your blog and saw your tags on things, that made me want to follow you IMMEDIATELY bc i saw that you were (and still are) so funny and lively!! 💖🌸 oh and to answer your question, ive been doing pretty okay actually??? i met up with a friend today we got coffee and studied and omg i got pudding with my coffee and it was so
yum 💘💘💘 im planning to go to the mall tomorrow to buy some clothes and even though it’s necessary, i feel Bad spending $$ hh ): but what about you!! 💛 and how’s endgame i don’t know anything about it or anything marvel related actually zkzmdnsmsm oh and you can call me shy anon if you want!! 🌟sjsjsjekwkw 
snvsn yes i did miss you my earth moon just said that nvjdnfSFJNFJ omggg we’re mutuals then i wonder if we’ve talked before vkdfbvdj i’m a sag so i guess i can be. funny. sometimes. IT’S AN HONOUR BEING CALLED FUNNY THANK YOU SM BILLION HEART EMOJISSSSS idk nfjdnfb omg wait was the coffee and the pudding mixed or like. two different things? anon. .. .you   studied . .. . so cool …only cool poeple study.…studying makes you so cool.. it’s great that you’re doing good!!! omg i relate to that so bad i can’t spend money on legit anything now like. nothign my hands itch so bad when i give the shopkeeper some money and no i will walk that 2 km to reach home and save money jkbfjfndfk but it’s okay to spend it sometime!! udbcsj andgame was pretty good actually, the action was realll good and i’ve watched it twice now but!! the only thing i do not agree with is time travel sibsjdbcjs i came up with a big explanation for this in the language of physics and i will post it sometime once i do actual research about quantum physics and not the basic one bvbvsj before i got into marvel i used to think it was overrated and stuff but it’s actually really cool and the graphics the screenplay it'ss alll good thee’s just not enough poc for me in there so . yeah and too many het couples like i can’t look at those and ok!! you’re now named shy anon!!!!  
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