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magicianapprenticelyra · 5 years

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Adored

asked by [someone that’s no longer on that account]: 22 for the kiss meme! With whoever you please! 🧡

Mun: How about a little change of pace? How about the first time Bảo and James kissed? (I’ll probably make one of when Bảo and Walterine kiss too, in time, but it’ll be a separate post).

22: a kiss . . . in a rush of adrenaline.

It’s the first masquerade—after building his shop, after . . . everything—that he had been truly able to get his mind off of work and his problems.

His problems, at least the ones he knows he can fix, were far away and not at the forefront of his mind.

The extravaganza of a party at the palace is boisterous. Bảo couldn’t help but feel excited.

At the same time, he’s afraid he'd lose track of his beloved friends. Bảo kept his head tilted up a bit, multitasking in looking around and following behind Walterine.

On the other hand, James didn’t like going to the Masquerade much. Since it was Bảo’s first time however, James wanted to participate with him. Bảo hangs onto him, taking in as much splendor of the palace as he could.

To top this night off, Neha was at a trusted relative’s place. They wouldn’t have to worry about her; they could enjoy themselves the whole night.

“It’s way different than a party in your village, huh?” Walterine shouts.

Bảo can only laugh, grinning from ear to ear. “Yes, but exciting!!!”

“Should I slow down?” James stoops a bit to murmur against Bảo’s ear. “I don’t want to make you feel like I’m yanking you like me arm’s a leash.”

Goosebumps rise to the surface of his skin. Exhaling to calm himself, Bảo shakes his head ‘no’.

“Just perfect,” Bảo reassures, patting James’s arm.

***

Freshly planted flowers perfume the air. Off in the distance, a fountain babbles and gurgles. Spots of laughter sound far and near, but they are secluded enough in their spot.

Inside the Masquerade, it got a little too much for James.

Bảo was the one that offered to stay with him while Walterine would grab some food boxes.

James’s masquerade mask—a generic black one, accented with blazing orange wisps—is settled atop his head. He fusses with his glasses, immediately replacing them on his face.

“You ok?” Bảo softly inquires. His own mask matches James’s in design, the difference being that Bảo’s has a matte green base, accented in ivory white.

“Uh, I will be,” James puffs. He shakes his head. “I’m sorry I lit out of there. It’s, it’s a little overwhelming...”

Bảo’s laugh is amused, but not mocking.

“I hope I didn’t spoil your fun,” James murmurs, starting to pull at the grass beside the low, stone bench they sit on. “We were dancing and then I got dizzy...”

“No, never spoiling,” Bảo replies.

James turns to him, readjusting his glasses. “Bảo, this is your first Masquerade-”

“And I with one of the people I wanted to be at the Masquerade with the most.”

Bảo’s eyes meet James's own, his gaze drifting to James’s now-rosy cheeks. The latter curses the fact his blush was so visible, even under the moonlight.

“... are you always this smooth!?”

Bảo doubles over, his laughter a little louder now.

James wouldn’t call his expression a pout, but he knew his wife would very much say it was so.

The man before him was so ridiculous. Despite what his exasperated muttering would insinuate otherwise, James is glad Bảo was feeling all right enough to do so.

Bảo held many a shadow in his heart and soul. Before tonight, no one was sure whether or not he’d come up to the palace, despite his many reassurances he’d go for the occasion.

It wasn’t until James agreed to join along with his wife and boyfriend—yes, Bảo is his boyfriend; James at times was still in disbelief at this—that Bảo was heartened to go.

Presently, Bảo had finally started to settle from his laughter. In turn, affectionately exasperated, James offers out his hand. Bảo gladly takes it, pulling James closer until he had his partner’s arm wrapped around his waist.

“You’re quite taken with my arm.”

“Can’t blame me; I like your arm.”

They crack up, pressing closer to each other’s side.

“...Can I sit in your lap?” Bảo asks, almost sheepish.

James obliges him. Upon pulling him closer, he rests his chin on the top of Bảo’s head.

They stay that way a while, happily snuggling. James stills when Bảo shifts, placing his ear against James’s chest.

“...you okay?” James murmurs in turn. He swallows, his heart quickening.

Bảo shifts again, peering up at James through his mask. His smaller partner looks... unbelievably happy.

James swallows again, his gaze stuck on Bảo’s lips.

Bảo finally notices how fast James’s heart was pounding. Just as he leans over to the side, to remove himself—

“Wait!” James exclaims. He snaps his mouth shut, internally kicking himself as Bảo stares at him, dumbfounded.

“I mean, I-I-!”

Bảo’s cool hands brace both sides of James’s face. The latter stares on at his partner, sheepish yet full of adoration.

“It’s just me,” Bảo soothes. He removes his mask, setting it off to the side.

James can see some of the makeup Walterine had helped to apply on Bảo‘s eyelids. It’s really subtle; Bảo got a bit anxious with some of the bolder hues, but he wanted to work his way up to the brighter ones... in time. It wouldn’t be the next year, or the year after that, but James knew Bảo would, at his own pace.

“Is it still on?” Bảo asks.

“Yeah,” James nods, readjusting his glasses. “Walt did a wonderful job...”

There’s a small laugh from him as James adds, “Look, you look beautiful no matter what you’re in, but I’m really happy you got to try this out.”

A soft smile graces his partner’s face. "Do you want to kiss me?"

Under any other circumstance, this question would have flustered James to no end.

This time was different.

For once, James can see that Bảo is nervous too.

“...You’re sure?” James asks. His hand cups the side of Bảo’s face, thumb gently sweeping over the arch of the latter’s cheek.

“Dạ,” Bảo nods, laughing a little.

“C’mere then.”

After a bit of fumbling, their lips meet. The two of them melt against one another, James’s arms circling his partner’s waist as Bảo grins widely into the kiss, laughing with elation as they separate.

“Phew!”

Bảo and James turn around as Walterine quickly approaches, arms laden with several boxes of food.

She congratulates her husband and his boyfriend, grinning wide enough to match their own smiles.

Once the boxes of food are all opened up, Walterine uncorks a fancy bottle of spirits to drink. The three of them partake in raising a glass.

To new beginnings, and a continuing love, however it blooms...

A/N: I am so proud of this one you guys; you have no idea.

#The Arcana #OCs #oc x oc x oc #Uncle Bảo #James Aster #Walterine Aster #magicianapprenticelyra #answering the mail #the scribe writes

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onepunchmiss · 5 years

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OPM s2e7 Live blog

“The S Class Heroes”

IM SCREAMING ALREADY I ONLY READ THE EPISODE TITLE ALRIGHT OK SO IT BEGINS TODAY, MY DEATH guys I am so pumped for the S Class focus thats about to begin with this episode like from here on out they become main players in the series and asfdbfhirksvfjkevfsnjkvfnjek how is it legal for ONE SERIES to contain SO MANY FAVES. Anywayyy Before I get started I’m actually wondering- this is the 7th episode of the second season… do we know how many episodes the season is supposed to run for? S1 only had 12 i think. I’m… I’m not even close to ready for it ending. Now that they’ve introduced Orochi, I’m not even sure where a good break in the plot would be?? Random concerns aside, lets get to the episode. As always, I’m watching this as someone who has read the manga and web comic to date

OROCHI IS PINK HE IS HOT PINK THATS ALL I HAVE TO SAY BEFORE THE TITLE SEQUENCE HITS ME LIKE A GUT PUNCH EVERY SINGLE TIME AND I STILL PAUSE IT AT ZOMBIEMAN OK off to a great start woo

Oh thank god we’re starting with the tournament I can stop quite literally holding my breath. Alright its Choze time. I’m actually excited for him to do things, his face has been nothing but terrifying thus far and hes one of those characters that are just fun to hate unapologetically. I love over-the-top Nazi stand-ins for that reason tbh

OH FUCK OH GOD I LOVE HIM also GAROU hiya welcome back I know it’s only been 2 weeks but i missed you so much thank you for gracing my screen for 5 seconds OH HECK the dramatic music and beginning of the internal monologue just being blatantly REJECTED caught me off guard I cackled AH WAIT WAIT

EYESIGHT DOGMAN ASDFGHK MY BABY IS COMING IM DEAD IM FUKKIN DEAD ALREADY I MISSED HIS CUTE VOICE hey no wait that was very quick?? I must withhold my bias, we’re at the point now where I have SCRUTINIZED every single panel of the manga over and over because of all of my faves, so even the smallest differences will be glaring to me. As much as I want all the action to be drawn out as it is in the manga, I know that’s never been how the anime has rolled. I must bite my tongue.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE ONLY TIME WE’LL EVER SEE HIM AND YET!!! oof i had to pause for 2 minutes to chill out and actually type. I. I just. juST. BOI ARE YOU OK WHERE ARE YOU ARE YOU WELL AND WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE G4 tell me your secrets

WAIT COME BACK i dont give 2 SHITS about sweet mast HECKK

speaking of whom get off my screen u creep I have a personal bone to pick with u disrespecting the bae as you will

[SCREAMING]

Oh god this whole scene is so EXCITING and TERRIFYING child emperor’s face as Pig God just eats her, speaking of which -QUIT CUTTING BACK TO THAT TERRIFYING IMAGERY ASDFGHJ

YES THEY KEPT IT YES YES YES YESYEYSYEYS YOU DONT UNDERSTAND how much Ive been looking FORWARD to that little scene??? im crying how is it possible to work myself up so much of this please help

ok ok back to the tournament give my heart a break phew Hey Choze if you’re genes are so superior then where are your eyebrows????? You dont pull it off HALF as well as Z does. Jeez everything about this guy is so absurd I can’t help but laugh irl the damn DNA helix rolling across the screen dude just stop you’re embarrassing yourself

although you DO know how to strike a pose. change ur name to Poze. Wait no. Your name is now GMO Corn I lied.

AGAIN GETTIN ME WITH THE WEIRD COLORS Hundred Eyes Octopuss is red and blue OK SURE

DEATH GATLING DEATH GATLING ASDFGHJKL guys I cant look at Narcisstoic oh no “no you’ll do no good”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WASNT EXPECTING THIS THIS EPISODE BUT I SHOULD HAVE I WASNT PREPARED I paused it I’m afraid to push play he’s not on the screen yet i can still turn back and make it out alive -

Behold. the moment I died

I actually have this thing with eye gore and seeing it in motion fucked me up I had to skip 10 seconds but anyway FUCK he’s so SPARKLY and PRETTY

Noting also the music there totally gave me flashbacks to the Darkmatter Thieves invasion for a split second and that sequence in general was really well done I like how they emphasized the suckers sticking to the concrete and everything- it have the monster a lot of weight imo. Of course the studio would be fools to not give Tatsumaki the the utmost respect like that sooo

SPARKLY and PRETTY and TEMPTING FATE YOU FOOL yo I was so excited to this scene but I feel like they didn’t make his response angry enough it’s funnier when it so uncharacteristically mad I might do a redraw with the face he makes in the manga………….. FUKKIN was smiley face man just yelling noises to cover flashy’s voice???? FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

OH MY FUCK WE’RE GETTING MONSTER CELLS THIS EPISODE. OH MY HECK WE’RE COVERING MUCH MORE GROUND THAN I THOUGHT WE’RE ONLY HALF WAY THROUGH THE EP

plot progression plot progression plo t p r ogr e ss i on hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Kamikaze being the badass that he is i lov

SPEAKING OF LOVES LOOKY LOOK God i love those three Okamaitachi is a WIFE and IAI is a BAE HEY WAIT let them speak come back they said words i want voices!!!!!!! this is going so fast??? Oh my god I was absolutely not expecting to get the Suiryu fight this episode holy crap holy crap?? Ok but I’m getting pumped the music is hype “trying to hide his nervousness by looking like a doofus” “this is how I always look” Oh saitama why do they do this to you. Jeez as much as I love everyone else I forget how much I miss him.

Oh and he’s getting his hopes up again sweetheart no

This is so good I’m hardly pausing to type my thoughts I’m too invested AND NOW ALSO IM DIGGING THIS MUSIC this is good v good yes and there goes Saitama being a genuinely good person offended by this jackass Saitama is too good for this world

His voice… I love him sm. aaaaaaaaaaaaaand its over. hmmmmmmmmmmmm so I have a guess as to what the post credits scene will be but let’s just see

YUP I KNEW IT cause we skipped it last week and now that we’ve introduced the monster cells it was only logical Genos no bby stop getting completely obliterated mannnnnnnnn

In all, no real complaints??? My children?? Have began to appear finally??? I just wish they literally went word for word shot for d\shot with Drive Knight if only because I’m STARVED for DK content in general. But based on the pacing of this week’s episode, will definitely cover a lot of ground and be pretty intense. I should be less, uh, screaming? Next week too. I’m exhausted from spazzing every 10 seconds hah. Well, I just skimmed the manga again and there might be some but yeah I think I can calm down for maybe 2 weeks. maybe. take a wild guess who should show up right around that time. ANYWAY Thanks for reading see yall next weeeeekkkkk

#opmiss mumbling #live blogging #gouketsu #child emperor #saitama #suiryu #flashy flash #tatsumaki #drive knight #pig god #watchdog man #im exhausted #uhg #one punch man #season 2 #opm

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kaiayame · 5 years

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post s8 thoughts

the good, the bad, the mixed.

the good

the marketplace at the garrison in ep 1! i’m a sucker for a marketplace. and allura got to go shopping!!

romelle was back! her hair was cute.

i think the tone of the first episode was actually a really smart one to start the season on. i’m glad they jumped a few months (or was it a year?) since the end of last season.

pidge and allura got some good bonding time in general this season. pidge giving up her game for allura was cute. and then when they were together on that planet where the olkari had lived, that was strong.

pidge being upset about the loss of the olkari, lamenting over “how much more they had to offer us” was solid. i think they spent too much time on it, but the sentiment of mourning all the good that a people could’ve given the universe if they hadn’t been lost was solid.

omg listen. keith and lance. literally sat together. just the two of them. watching a FREAKING sunset. and keith, in my opinion, basically said the nicest things anyone has ever said about lance to his face, and it felt like a confession of feelings from keith’s end tbh. the writers did that. they know that they did that. and it happened. it was real and so, so soft. i had to stand up in front of the tv while i was watching, clutching a pillow and screaming a bit.

i think the amount shiro and coran were utilized throughout the story felt balanced. shiro especially has dominated so much of the story over the seasons, and even tho i love him, it felt nice to kind of have him become somewhat less of a focus.

i think the episode where they got trapped in the ship with the monster was fun! did you see how crazy lance went when keith got stuck in that room with it??

the carnival episode!!! I love a good carnival setting :) i like that they all wanted to get something for allura.

the day 47 episode was also cute, imo. I thought it was clever. I loved kinkade! the overall concept could’ve gone really badly but it felt creative enough to me. I wish it had focused more on just the paladins, but still.

all of the MFE pilots actually didn’t annoy me this season, yay.

veronica and axca had super gay vibes.

keith and axca didn’t happen! *throws confetti*

lance got called a genius by his fellow paladins! and they meant it!

we got to see them all in their under suits and out of their paladin armor!

that short bit where Hunk made the recovered alteans food from their home world? I think that was actually more powerful and potent than the writers even intended. I thought that was really well handled and not heavy handed and had a lot of weight to it.

the bit before the final battle with keith and lance alone at the war room table...................... prime, prime content. THEY HELD. HANDS. there was a CLOSE UP. i’m still living off of it. another “lost my shit” moment. favorite scene of the entire season.

there was some genuinely good moments of humor. keith had some especially funny moments, i laughed out loud a few times, tho i can’t name anything super specific atm.....

it was nice that they tried to really work in the idea that unity is what’s important, and the best unity is built through love, and differences shouldn’t tear us apart and we are always stronger together, etc etc.... i think that was obviously the writers referencing our society’s current climate to some extent, so i appreciated them at least trying to touch on that, however generic and vague it was.

they had some good new outfits this season?? it was nice to see the paladins in so many different clothes. and a lot of the garments were really cute!!

i like how often keith urged them to not give up. I think that’s another strong theme that’s existed throughout the series. it just strikes a personal note with me. i like how far keith has come as a character in general.

pidge’s mom making that flower for allura?? very sweet.

i liked all of lance’s reactions to anyone mentioning someone having an interest in keith, haha. Obviously, i’m projecting, but still.

i think the concept of ALL realities being threatened was actually great, because otherwise idk why they would’ve brought up there being other realities in the first place. the significant level of what was at stake with that being what the paladins were dealing with was a good choice.

keith turning down becoming the new head of the galra. phew, thank you @god.

as always, studio mir is the lord’s animation studio and so much of the visuals were so excellent. can’t wait to see their future projects.

and honestly, it’s been fun. it’s been a fun show. it’s had a ton of problems but i cannot deny that i have seriously enjoyed watching a lot of it as a whole.

i guess technically they did end the show on a gay kiss.

the bad

i’m not even that personally upset but it just goes to show how important an ending is. how a story leaves you makes such a significant impression. it’s probably the most important part of a narrative and OMG THESE WRITERS DO NOT KNOW HOW TO WRAP THINGS UP AT ALL, IT’S SO FUNNYYYYY.

so anyway, yeah........ episode 13.......................... what.

like wtf was ep 13.

what.

what even WAS THAT. PEOPLE got PAID to write THAT.

lance became... altean? can that.... happen? also........... why???

and a farmer?? a simple life?? where did that even come from??? like sure, lance was homesick and missed rain one time. that doesn’t.... it just..... that doesn’t mean he should just be a random farmer?????? whose gf died, i guess??

speaking of that, OMG they fucking KILLED ALLURA. I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT. WHAT A DUMB CHOICE. I’M STILL LAUGHING. I HAD NO EXPECTATION THAT THAT WOULD HAPPEN. WOULD NEVER HAVE EXPECTED THAT. AND YET IT DID. WTF. HOW CAN YOU MAKE SUCH A DUMB WRITING CHOICE. HOW???

and the fact that they didn’t even EXPLAIN why honerva & allura had to do whatever it is they did????? criminal. ridiculous.

and all that aside, allura and coran’s relationship was so important and so special and the fact the she and him didn’t get a goodbye? garbage. unbelievable.

and to add to that, all of her goodbyes were underwhelming. shiro being like “you don’t have to thank me for anything” umm, what. yes she does. you did a lot. wtf, what was with that?

like i love allura, but also, why was the ending SO FOCUSED on just her?? And by that, i mean including the choice to kill her off. VLD has always been about the group. It just was a weird vibe to end on for many, many reasons. The ending should’ve been about her and the rest of them recognizing how they were more than just friends or paladins. They were family... like ALL THE WRITERS HAD TO DO was have them all together at the end?? I’m not even joking. That needed to be the ending, point blank...... AND THEY COULDN’T EVEN DO THAT. WHYYYY

ok moving on but still related, I HATE slideshow endings like that, in pretty much anything that isn’t a documentary or historical drama. I feel like it’s such a cop out. Writers should find confidence and end their story on a specific note. Not a series of slides.

as i was watching ep 13, tbh, the title got me excited. “the end is the beginning” made me feel like they were somehow going to get thrust back in time for a brief second to the moment they all met at the garrison, or met allura and coran, and somehow that was going to get pulled into the finale as a way they could re-establish all the destroyed realities.... so i guess this is my own fault for just hoping for something that wasn’t there, but whatever.

i think lotor and zarkon also got some really undeserved positive recognition. like, they both killed a LOT of people... some things are just too little too late.

lotor coming “back” was also like, half assed. it was weird. it would’ve made more sense for honerva to start jumping through different realities earlier in the season “looking” for a version of her son and husband that she could be with.

too many big robots. like..... so many different kinds of big robots. i couldn’t care less.

as always, a lot of the fight scenes were repetitive as hell. I wish they’d been more creative and written them taking on different approaches rather than just charging at the bad guys.

WHERE IS MY FORMAL WEAR EPISODE

sorry to hate on allurance, but like, neither lance or allura felt like their actual selves whenever they were together or trying to be a couple... it was weird and sad. Lance barely ever acted like himself this season.

I thought they threw krolia around a bit too casually. Like she barely pops up and when she did it almost felt like the writers were like “oh yeah, i guess we should include her every now and then”

i thought allura being like “i don’t have a family” to lance was bullshit. like, hello, coran and romelle are right freaking there. more alteans are showing up every day. girl, what tf do you mean???

allura was also kind of excessively mean on multiple occasions?? she was cutting people off, being unreasonable, reckless, and kind of dark..... i didn’t really understand the sudden downfall of her character when she’d started out as this sort of insecure victim, but season after season became stronger and stronger and an awesome member of voltron. idk, it just felt out of place to make her a part of the problem for the final act.

i wish i had......... cried. i wish they’d written at least one moment well enough that i actually got to experience at least a little bit of a tear.

adam didn’t magically come back from the dead.

OMG and the kiss between shiro and random dude???? IT WAS SO SLOPPY, I WAS SO EMBARRASSED. it was obviously thrown in at the very last possible moment because they were trying to cover their own asses about the adam thing. like, what was with that bad animation....

epilogues in general are just........ so bad. no one should do them. stop.

omg they never explained the altean colonies...

honestly, as we kept getting closer and closer to the last episode, i was like....... they do know this is the LAST season, right??? they’re kind of running out of time??

that black entity thing should’ve been fleshed out more and had more of an actual purpose, especially because they touched on it before with the paladins of old.

i feel like the writers just threw so many things out there over 8 seasons and didn’t actually.... resolve most of them. like, they needed to edit down sooooo much of what they were trying to do. it would’ve been such a stronger series overall if they’d just FOCUSED on the actual compelling parts of this story and its characters.

i feel zero closure tbh, lol. whatever.

the mixed

overall, i was pretty engaged for the most part from episode to episode, but i did get pretty damn bored a few times.

oh god, the leaks were real. it’s good and bad.

lance and allura still felt SOOOO forced and awkward but at least they tried to give them some actual substance.

like I said before, yay romelle was back! but boo, she wasn’t as quirky or funny anymore :(

Slav bothering everyone was still quite enjoyable to me. i wish shiro had gotten roped into that more, tho. Missed opportunity.

Atlas didn’t feel quite as dumb... but it was still kind of dumb.

i thought honerva honestly held up as a villain. Maybe not a FINAL season villain, but meh. her motivation seemed legit enough and the lengths she was willing to go after 10k years of pain seemed real. I just..... ugh, i wish they’d stuck to her just being evil. Or revengeful. Lok tried to do the same thing with kuvira right at the end. there just... wasn’t enough time to actually do that right, in either case. Or if they were going to do it, Honerva should’ve sacrificed just herself and allura should’ve left with all the other paladins, and that could’ve redeemed her character if that’s what they were going for.

the 2nd episode that focused just on honerva was... fine i guess, but i thought they didn’t define the mixing of timelines very well. it would jump from one clip to another and i didn’t realize fully that we’d gone back in time, or returned to the present, or were seeing this important thing before moving on to another. idk, the order just didn’t work for me.

i’m glad allura got so much more focus but i feel like keith had so many important story points throughout every season and it felt weird that he was kind of just in the background for the most part of every episode.... like if vld had a “main” character, i always kind of felt that it was slightly keith.... so i’m sad that he didn’t really get much of an ending.

and that being said, i guess this is just a negative, but i feel like keith and shiro’s relationship just didn’t matter anymore??? that was so weird to me?? it was such a focus for SO LONG, it didn’t feel good to just never address them ever.

there was this really awesome momentum going in the first half of season 8 for this theme of “not holding on to the past / letting the old give way to the new” and they just….. totally lost it. Like, it just never came up again by the end, lol. But i liked it a lot while it was initially there. Just.... wish these writers knew how to stick a landing, jesus.

like, that older olkari woman that pidge was trying to call out to? she probably had one of the best speeches of the season when she was telling that little olkari girl to go on and be a part of the future. that’s what i’m saying. it had good momentum. they just didn’t fully realize it :/

i think where they started to lose the narrative was in the two part episode, the knights of light ones. going into honerva’s mind seemed cool and i appreciated them trying to do a few interesting things with it, but bringing back the old paladins didn’t feel right. For some reason, I didn’t enjoy allura reconnecting with like, the spirit of her father. I felt like it was a loss that should’ve remained a loss. and yeah, just in general, having them bring up the idea of the benefits and power behind “the old making way for the new” just wasn’t supported by bringing the old paladins BACK... it felt counterproductive. i didn’t like it.

Anyway. I feel like i’m still forgetting stuff and I’ll probably go back and edit this post but yeah. Enjoyed a decent chunk of the final season. Cannot..... even believe how dumb some of the writing choices were. Will forever be slightly confused. Canon is whatever. I’ve still enjoyed this show and its characters and a lot of the amazing content fans have created for it, and it is what it is and at least it’s over and done with :]

#spoilers #so many spoilers #vld spoilers #voltron s8 #voltron #my thoughts

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nikatyler · 5 years

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When I finished my exam today, I was really excited and full of energy but now all of that is gone and I’m starting to see how stressful this day has actually been. I’m so incredibly tired! I went to bed at 11 pm yesterday, fell asleep quite quickly, woke up again at midnight. I slept until 4 am and then I kept waking up and falling asleep in what I believe were really short intervals. I don’t know which of these nightmare scenarios I had were actual nightmares and which ones I came up with thanks to overthinking. It was some crazy shit - one of them, probably the craziest one, I actually shared on twitter yesterday. For a little bit, I was worried that I would wake up without the ability to read or write. And even though I know that’s impossible, I was so worried and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Thing is, my anxious perfectionist brain always jumps to “either you do well on this or you die” mindset. Which then leads to me being stressed out days before and doing crazy things because of that. Just to name a few: I unfollowed a lot of blogs because following so many was driving me insane. I muted a bunch of people on twitter and called it self care even though it was probably just petty. Last but not least, I’m generally more mean and insensitive than I usually am these days and I hate that but also, I just can’t help it. (hey please if I was mean to you, don’t give up on me, it’ll get better again I swear) So yeah, fun times. Can’t wait for it to be finally June so all of this is over.

To quote my favourite musical: hold your breath and count the days, we’re graduating soon, college will be paradise if I’m not dead by June.

Onto those replies now.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “So…I was just casually setting up another scene, posing the sims and...”

This is DESTINY of this generation - trying to die (hard)

Just wait for when I focus on Regan. That girl is...going in her parents’ footsteps. I swear it’s not my fault. Seriously. I would never want for any of my important legacy sims to die.

Okay well, I might have planned to kill off Tyler at one point like year and a half ago but we don’t talk about that. Ever. Not since that dumb “one year with Rose triplets” thing. Don’t worry about it.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Unfortunately, it didn’t help. Again, sims logic. Don’t question it....”

NO MIRACLE NO

Miracles shouldn't die!

How dare you!

When I said "don't return to aliens" I didn't mean "die instead"

pxelblobs replied to your photoset “Unfortunately, it didn’t help. Again, sims logic. Don’t question it....”

Noooo Miracle!

I knew that sims could burn to death if the weather is too hot and everything, but it has never happened to me and I certainly didn’t expect it to happen now. I was freaking out. That was not how I wanted her story to end.

Then I went to twitter and asked people what they want me to do, but before the poll ended, I actually decided that nope, I can’t do this, she has to stay alive. By the way, if I remember correctly, people voted for leaving her dead. Sooo...yeah.

harmoniouspixels replied to your post “WAIT HOLD UP IS MIRACLE LIKE DEAD DEAD”

I guess I wasn't paying too much attention until this ask BUT MIRACLE'S DEAD WTF

Lmao I can see this happening to me. In fact, it has definitely happened to me before - just casually scrolling down my dash, not paying attention to anything (which is why I never go to my dash anymore) at all and then suddenly I realize - wait a minute, when did that sim die?! What did I miss?

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Yeah well, Adam, maybe you could’ve done something when you still had...”

Will Smith voice: It's rewind time

I laughed so hard at this because I literally made the same joke a few posts later. Great minds think alike! *let’s pretend I’m a great mind ok, at least for a few seconds*

treason-and-plot replied to your post “WAIT HOLD UP IS MIRACLE LIKE DEAD DEAD”

This game is so cruel

Yup.

It couldn’t have happened to like...I don’t know. Esme during the uni storyline. Or Fred during James’s storyline. Guys, do you remember Fred the mustache guy? Good old times.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Adam: “Hmmm, I wonder what I should do?”

I just thought... IT'S A BEACH THERE IS PLENTY OF WATER AROUND

I KNOW

THAT’S WHAT BOTHERED ME THE MOST IT LITERALLY DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE

*slow clap for sims logic*

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “At least she gets a nice gravestone…I guess. Aaand the dog is useless...”

simlovinggirl replied to your photoset “At least she gets a nice gravestone…I guess. Aaand the dog is useless...”

I can't believe she died this way! :'(

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Miracle baby oh my god I’m so sorry I didn’t want this to happen I’m...”

:( :( :(

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Miracle baby oh my god I’m so sorry I didn’t want this to happen I’m...”

�� poor miracle

The only thing I really enjoyed about this is that these posts fell on the weekend before April 1st. I know this isn’t something to be laughed at...but the timing was so perfect. If I had planned this, it wouldn’t have worked.

Then again, let’s be real, I wouldn’t have planned this. This is just cruel.

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Worry not, Adam. The Grim Reaper might be cruel but I’m the one who’s...”

Whew I'm glad she's still alive

simlovinggirl replied to your photoset “Worry not, Adam. The Grim Reaper might be cruel but I’m the one who’s...”

PHEW!!!!!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Worry not, Adam. The Grim Reaper might be cruel but I’m the one who’s...”

Yay!

I’ve never been more excited to quit without saving

whysimstho replied to your photoset “Lydia: “Sorry I’m late! I didn’t mean to, I promise. Siblings got in...”

"Oh yeah and my mom died in an alternate reality but it's cool, it's cool."

I mean, she’s definitely heard about all the crazy shit that has happened to her family over the years, so maybe it doesn’t seem as a big deal to her anymore.

It’s been a while since I last said Roses are a mess but they really are a huge mess lmao

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “cloudberry-sims: ???: Sorry but you can’t read that book yet! Stone:...”

Zillah will most likely appear after I finish Strangerville!

Yay! You don’t have to rush though, as long as she appears one day, it’s cool. It’s just a little sad when I spend a lot of time working on a sim and then the person who requested them never uses them.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “This girl is no longer on fiyah, fiyaaaaah”

Next time you try to die don't do it, okay?

Oh trust me I’ll keep an eye on her from now on

It’s what Caleb would have wanted

wait did I just make myself cry thinking about this

dreamsongsims replied to your photoset “I’m still not sure why she’s doing martial arts. Like yeah, I wanted...”

That moment when you just can't remember what your plans were for your sim! I have that a lot. LOL

I guess I do kinda remember the purpose for the story, the problem is...I don’t actually understand why I did it that way?

create-a-sim replied to your photo “someday i’ll be famous and you’ll have to admit you were wrong.”

Wow, this looks super cool!

Thank you! I really enjoyed working on this. It’s just one of the many outcomes of my “Tyler gets famous” headcanons, which by the way are one of my favourite things to think about these days.

onemoreordinarysimblr replied to your photo “Am I late to the party?”

Very cute!

alfalfalegacy replied to your photo “I had to do another one.”

This is a nice looking room!!

berrysweetboutique replied to your photo “I had to do another one.”

They're too fun and this is way cute ♥

Thank you guys! I really enjoy the idea of this. I’m definitely not done with this trend yet! ♥

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh i could recognize...”

Oh it sucks that that person isn't around anymore(( losing friends is always hard

Btw, the edit is really cute!

Yeah...I was going through my old posts yesterday, saw some asks and got sad about this again. I miss talking daily to a person who was so much like me in so many ways. I don’t want to go into details but yeah...never thought I could miss a person I’ve never actually met and here I am.

desira-sims replied to your post “�� ?”

I feel ya on the bands. My music tastes seems to go from one extreme to the next.

It’s so hard to limit yourself to just one genre! I don’t understand how some people can do this. Well, I don’t actually believe such people exist...everyone has their “guilty pleasure” and no one will change my mind.

desira-sims replied to your post “I associate you with Ross and Caleb :D (i really need to catch up on...”

This is 100% me.

It’s clear, if a sim wants to be the mascot of my blog, they have to be a bisexual disaster.

I mean, when I look at myself, that makes sense. I myself am one big bisexual disaster.

mellowaliens replied to your post “Tomorrow, I’m taking my first graduation exam. It’s a writing one, so...”

Good luck hon!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “Tomorrow, I’m taking my first graduation exam. It’s a writing one, so...”

Good luck! ❤️ You can do it!

desira-sims replied to your post “Tomorrow, I’m taking my first graduation exam. It’s a writing one, so...”

Good luck!!! Sending positive vibes your way.

whysimstho replied to your post “Tomorrow, I’m taking my first graduation exam. It’s a writing one, so...”

Good Luck!

audrey-rosewadsworth replied to your post “Tomorrow, I’m taking my first graduation exam. It’s a writing one, so...”

GOOD LUCK

audrey-rosewadsworth replied to your post “Tomorrow, I’m taking my first graduation exam. It’s a writing one, so...”

I BELIEVE IN YOUUUU

poisonfireleafs replied to your post “Hey hi hello guess who survived the exam? It went better than I...”

Good luck tomorrow :)

*hugs* Thank you so much guys. ♥

desira-sims replied to your post “Good morning guys, I'm still freaking out about the exam. I'm taking...”

Just take deep breath and don’t stress too much. You’ll do great on the exam. Congrats on your milestone!

I started feeling so much better when I left home. I went out and I was like okay, I can’t do much about this anymore, can I? And then I met up with my friend at the bus stop and we just talked and suddenly I wasn’t scared anymore because I realized we’re all in this together - the two of us, the rest of our class and all the other 80 000 (or something) students in our country who were taking the exam as well.

My biggest problem was that the exam started at 12.30 and ended at like 2.30 pm. If it had been in the morning, I wouldn’t have had so much time to worry about it. Thank the lord that’s the case with the English exam tomorrow, it starts at 8 am which is an okay school time for me - on a normal day, classes start at 7.50.

Also, thank you! ♥

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “Hey hi hello guess who survived the exam? It went better than I...”

Yay, congrats!

desira-sims replied to your post “Hey hi hello guess who survived the exam? It went better than I...”

Woot woot!

mellowaliens replied to your post “Hey hi hello guess who survived the exam? It went better than I...”

Good luck and congrats!

Now I’ll have to wait for the results...that’s gonna be fuuuuuun.

By the way, people are already making memes based on the topics and I enjoy that. People who didn’t take the exam can’t understand, but it’s really funny, I swear.

simlovinggirl replied to your photoset

awwwwww! ♥ ♥ ♥

They’re definitely among the cutest couples I have in my game right now! ♥

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Courtney: “Uhh…” Regan: “Wait. You…you guys? You’re like…” Felix: “Not...”

Well I kinda shipped themXD

I must admit that I didn’t at first, but then I noticed it could work. Whenever Regan said something bad about Felix, Courtney defended him, and so I thought...what if they went to uni together? Could they fall in love? Turns out they could :D

#replies #tiny-tany-thaanos #pxelblobs #harmoniouspixels #alfalfalegacy #treason-and-plot #whysimstho #dreamsongsims #create-a-sim #onemoreordinarysimblr #berrysweetboutique #desira-sims #mellowaliens #audrey-rosewadsworth #poisonfireleafs #simlovinggirl

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aurora-borealis514 · 5 years

Text

Time to go!

Upon returning home from clearing her name with the police, she started instantly packing for her trip. She lugged out 4 suitcases and 3 handbags knowing that she might not need to bring that much, since they were only going away for a few days. Sitting onto the bed she looks down at the mess she has created.

“Arrrgh!!” She grunts kicking her slipper across the room.

Carter enters just in time to catch it.

“Judith.” He smiled walking over to the bed and handing her the slipper.

Judith stood up and walked over to her dresser, gently nudging him as she walked by. “Good catch.” she then pulled out her chap stick and applied it slowly,

Sighing she looked at the ground.

“Um, do you plan on taking all of this?” Carter asked rubbing the back of his head with a dumbfounded look on his face.

“I want too.” She said rubbing her knuckles together and biting her lip, while now deep in thought.

“Where do you plan on putting it all?” he asked “I hear the rooms aren’t very big.”

“Oh hush! We get our own apartment and from the pictures it looks huge!” she smiled getting more excited.

Laughing Carter crossed his arms and leaned back. “Yeah, well what happens when we get there and the room is only large enough for one of your bags.”

“I don’t know.” She said shrugging her shoulders. “I really hope it doesn’t have to come down to that.” she smiled looking over at him.

“Well if that does happen, I’m sure there are plenty of benches you can always post up on.” he laughed.

“Hey you know what! This is going to be a fun trip!” She continued turning to him.

“Wow, Judith you are in a great mood today.” Carter laughed.

“What do you mean, I’m always in a good mood.” she laughed in return.

“How are things going with Nadia? Is she almost finished packing?” she then asked Carter.

“I’m pretty sure she is all set. She’s probably outside waiting with the driver.” he reassured.

“How about you? Are you all ready to go?” Judith questioned as she leaned down to put some more clothing into her suitcase.

“Me? I just have to change out of these clothes and I’ll be all set!” He replied giving her a thumbs up.

“What you don’t like your uniform?” Judith gasped grabbing her chest and looking up at him as if she was about to have a heart attack.

“Hey, You and I both know I look damn good in this uniform.” He smirked giving her a quick wink. “But I’m not about to board a plane wearing it.”

Judith continued packing as Carter just stood there behind her in silence.

“Well then what are you doing now?” Judith asked sitting on top of her bag trying to get it to close.

“I just wanted to come up and see if you needed your things brought downstairs for you.” he smiled walking over to her suitcase and pushing down while she zipped it shut.

Judith looked up at him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “That would be great thank you.”

Giving her a quick smile he stood up and grabbed two of her bags. “I’ll see you downstairs.” He said walking out the door.

Oasis Springs International Airport.

The three arrived at the airport around 6 in the afternoon. They decided to catch a late flight because figuring with the jet lag it would work out in their favor. Walking into the airport paparazzi swarmed.

“Judith! Can we have a word!” a news reporter said walking over to her.

Judith stopped. “I am treating my staff to a vacation, any further questions can be directed towards the oasis pd.” sue said flashing a smile.

Fan’s started to gather as well. So of course Judith had to stop and sign a few autographs before being escorted inside by TSA.

Carter lifted up the bags and placed them on the scan system. Stretching he walked through the metal detector and patiently waited for the girls on the other side.

“1, 2, 3.... wait, where’s the other bag....oh never mind. PHEW!” Nadia said getting extremely anxious.

“Will you relax” Carter called out to her, its just an air plane.” he laughed.

“Listen, I don’t fly.” She snapped back.

“Judith Ward. While I’ll be.” The officer at the front of the line said turning to look at her.

“Wow!” Judith exclaimed. “Mr. Danielson! I haven’t seen you since high school.” she smiled.

“You look great as always, how is my favorite straight A student doing?” he smiled holding out his hand to shake hers.

“I have been great!” she replied “Why aren’t you teaching?”

“Oh this is my summer job, when school’s out I liked to keep busy. It drives my wife crazy.” he laughed nudging Carter.

“Straight A’s?” she couldn’t help it and laughed out loud.

“Yes Nadia, why is that so hard to believe.” Judith asked turning to look at her.

“Actually yea, to be honest with you.” she said trying to keep a straight face.

“Well believe it young lady!” Mr. Danielson smiled. “Judith here was one of my best students!”

Judith tried to walk through the metal detector but the machine went off.

Beep beep beep beep beep.

“Please remove all of your jewelry Judith. That includes your earrings.” he smiled.

Judith stepped back and removed her earrings. Then walked back through.

Beep beep beep beep beep!

“Come on Judith, We really don’t want to miss out flight.” Carter said looking up at the time.

Judith rolled her eyes.

“Now relax sir, the plane won’t leave until Judith is on board.” He smiled.

“Thank you!” Judith smiled looking over at him.

“Come on Judith I really have to pee.” Nadia spoke up in the background.

“Hold your horses.” Judith snapped looking back over her shoulder.

Judith walked through the metal detectors and this time they didn’t go off. Cheers from unhappy travelers came from the line behind. Judith turned to them and shot a nasty look before turning back to Mr. Danielson.

Then Nadia walked through, No problems at all.

“I will see you guys at the gate, I really need to use the bathroom.” she squeaked out as she ran past them and up the stairs.

“Well Judith it was really good to see you for a moment.” Mr. Danielson said this time giving her a hug.

“It was great to see you too. Before I head off though here.” she replied taking out a picture of herself and signing it. “Something to hang up in your classroom.”

“How kind of you! I will make sure to hang it up, I’m sure a lot of my students will be excited to see it.” he said holding his cheeks like a giggly little girl.

Carter laughed.

“Anyway, Enjoy your trip you guys and stay safe!” Mr. Danielson waved as the two turned and walked towards the flight gate.

Looking up at the Arrival/Departure board they struggled at first to find which gate they actually needed to be at. Finally after a few moments they finally found their flight which read on time. Carter looked over at the clock and nudged Judith. They had exactly 25 mins to get to the gate before it locked. The three grabbed their carry ons and ran to the gate. Handing the women their boarding pass and passports she stamped them and directed them onto the plane.

“Thank you for flying with Oasis Springs International! I am Judy and I will be all you lovely first classer’s flight attendant for the evening. Now if you wouldn’t mind turning to this T.V here we have a quick video that we would appreciate if you watched in case of an emergency.” The woman smiled.

“Oh great.” Nadia mumbled under her breath as she popped a few xanax.

“Just relax, Nadia, we will be there before you know it.” Carter reassured her.

Nadia rested back in her seat and closed her eyes trying to control her breathing.

“Now the exits can be found at the front and the back of the plane. If you feel the plane bounce, don’t worry that’s just some slight turbulence and our pilot is trained to handle any situation thrown at him with the weather!” she reassured.

“If the overhead oxygen masks come down, please place them over your face like this.” She instructed as she placed on over her face. “But please, place your mask on first before you try and assist anyone else.” she mumbled through the mask fogging it up as she spoke.

“Up front here if you notice we have complimentary Champagne on ice and multiple variety of snacks, so if you need something just give me a wave and I’ll bring the cart over.”

“Well at least there’s one good thing about this flight.” Carter laughed looking over at Judith. “Free booze!”

Judith giggled.

“Excuse me! I’ll have three glasses of Champagne please and thanks.” Nadia said waving her hand to try and get the women’s attention.

“Only one glass at a time ma’am.” the flight attendant laughed.

Nadia groaned and slid back down into her seat.

“Now overhead is where you can store your carry-ons and if you need anything out of them during the flight, just make sure the seatbelt lights are turned off before unbuckling and moving around.”

“Now with that being said is everyone ready for take off?” She asked trying to pump everyone up, who clearly didn’t seem as enthused as she was.

“Wahoo...” one person sarcastically responded.

“That’s the spirit!” She shouted making a fist and bringing it across her chest.

Calling upfront she let the Captain know that they were ready for take off. Hanging up the phone she turned around she sat in the first seat. Which shortly after the seatbelt light came on.

DING.

“Please turn off all cellular devices until the Captain gives us the ok once we are so high up in the air.” she shouted back at everyone as the plane propellers fired up.

The plane hummed, whistled and whined as it started to slowly move forward into gear, Judith turned to look out the window.

“Italy, Here I come.”

#the sims 4 #ts4 #thesims4 #the sims gameplay #the sims 4 story #shortstories #short story #read me #follow me #drama #oasis springs #excitement #entertainment #judithward

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wide-eyed-and-curly-haired-blog · 5 years

Text

Lost Until I Found You

Hi! This is my first ever attempt at fanfiction so please give me feedback! Would love to hear what you think :)

Chapter One

The stark, neon lights spelling out ‘Welcome to Riverdale’ that loom ahead, jolt Lexie back to reality as she drives into the town that has haunted her dreams since she was 8 years old. Concentrating on the task at hand – finding the motel she had googled weeks ago when she began to take her little summer trip seriously – distracts her from panicking and turning her car back around. After a few wrong turns and misread signs, Lexie finally arrives at her destination. She reaches to the passenger seat and opens the dashboard, snatching the crisp, white envelope into her hands and opens it. She examines the contents. A small smile spreads onto her face as she reads the post-it note her foster parents had attached to the wad of cash inside:

Lexie,

Spend wisely honey!

If you need more, you know who to ring!

Angie + Mike

If she was honest with herself, she knows she couldn’t have asked for better foster parents for the last 5 years, but there will always be something about Angela and Mike that makes her feel like a charity-case. She often wonders whether they only fostered her so that they could feel like they were giving good back to the world, taking time out of their busy business lives in California, and forgot about the parenting part. Sure, they give her all the money she wants and let her go wherever with whoever at any time, but sometimes all she’s ever wanted is someone to actually care where she is going and why. Besides, Lexie has learnt the hard way that money can’t buy you happiness. Still, they were an obvious improvement to the 6 families she’d lived with before that…or was it 7? She thinks back to a few days before, when she had said goodbye to Angela and Mike, smiling widely at the memory.

***

“OK, so, you’ve got all your clothes honey? And enough gas to get you to Riverdale? Are you sure you don’t want us to get you a lawyer to come with you for all the estate stuff? No, you’re right you can do it! Hell, you’re more independent than me and I’m 45!...” Angela rambles, her eyes glazed over as she reels off another speech about how proud she is of Lexie being a ‘strong independent woman’ who is grabbing life with both hands.

“Angie, you know I’ll be fine! Besides, I have your cellphone number if I need help with anything.” Lexie retorts, waving her hands at Angela indicating for her to back off. Her foster mom is right – Lexie is a strong independent woman – so independent that sometimes she feels like the parent in this household, she muses to herself.

Mike steps forward, not a man of many words; “You better set off now Lexie, you don’t wanna be driving right through the night.”

Lexie paints on a smile, glad for Mike’s calming influence on Angie, hugging them both into her arms. “I love you loads guys, I’ll keep checking in every few days. See you soon.”

She revs the engine and checks her rear-view mirror, grateful to see that her parents had already gone back inside. Lexie hated goodbyes. Even though she was excited to finally be leaving their sleepy little Californian suburb, she hated the fact that she was stepping into the unknown, or rather driving head on into it. But, this was something she knew she had to do, so she put the car into gear and accelerated out onto the open road.

***

A door slams on the motel front as a man leaves his room, bringing Lexie back into the present. She watches as he climbs into a pick-up truck and leaves the parking lot. Lexie takes a few deep breaths and stuffs her keys into her pocket, taking the envelope and backpack with her as she opens the car door. Her right foot hits the gravel first, and she swings the left one down to meet it, shutting the door behind her. She takes another breath. She isn’t ready for the bubble of longing that rises in her stomach as she breathes in the earthy, damp, pine forest smell. It reminds her of a little girl playing tag with the wind tangling in her hair and the sweet sound of running water from the river nearby. She swears she can almost hear the little girl’s laugh as she gets caught by a boy with a beanie hat.

Lexie pulls her backpack into her chest and walks to the motel reception desk. The set-up is not quite the standard of hotel she is used to. The white walls have cracks running down from the roof, plaster is peeling off revealing a dirt coloured underneath, where mould spills over the edge. She manages to get a room for the week and takes a few trips back and forth to unload her car. The room is simple and basic, and the receptionist said she could enquire about extending her stay at the end of the week. Lexie lowers herself onto the bed, which makes a creaking whine in return. After taking a minute to survey her surroundings, satisfied, she starts to unpack.

***

This can’t be the right one, Lexie thinks to herself as she rereads the gravestone for the tenth time, but it is. Her eyebrows pull together on her sun-kissed forehead as she tries to make sense out of the two graves before her. These graves were her parent’s graves, and whilst Lexie had been led to believe that after their death when she was 8 years old, all her family had shunned her and them, the countless gifts, candles and flowers that lay on the floor next to her feet contradicted that. She was overwhelmed.

The pain of losing them was still so hard every day, but she didn’t ever realise that other people missed them too. Her heart clenched in her chest, her breathing becoming more rapid as tears formed in the corners of her wide, emerald green eyes. She added a bunch of white roses to the pile. She thinks she could remember them being her mom’s favourites. Lexie sat in front of the graves for what felt like hours, going through all her memories of her parents as tears fell in streams down her rosy cheeks. Sometimes she went through the memories like a list to help her sleep at night. It comforted her knowing that she hadn’t forgotten them all yet.

Being here in Riverdale made it all seem so much more real, and she found herself gripping the grass with both hands as if she were clinging onto the past. In a grief-stricken haze, she made a decision to confront her past with all she had got, and she would do it tonight.

***

She made a quick stop at the gas station, glancing around the aisles for something she could eat as her stomach complained at her for forgetting dinner. Ah, this was what she was looking for – chips. As she looked through the different brands on offer, she couldn’t help but listen in to a conversation going on further down the aisle.

“Jesus guys, how many times do I have to tell you, GIRLS ARE NOT A PIECE OF MEAT, now leave the poor girl alone”

Lexie swivelled her head to look at a leather-clad pink-haired girl standing next to two, also leather-clad guys who were ogling at her. The girl had a low-cut top with a black leather skirt, complimented by fishnet tights and some boots, not too dissimilar from her own Doc Martens. Lexie met her eyes and then shifted her gaze quickly to rest on the taller of the two boys with her. She looked down over his blue flannel shirt that was a little too tight, offering a glimpse at a tightly toned chest underneath. He wore a thick, leather jacket that was slightly aged, and fit him like a glove. Her eyes travelled upwards to a large S-shaped tattoo on his exposed neck, and widened as she realised which part of town they had come from. Interrupting her from her inner turmoil, a low, deep grunt of a voice seemed to silence the store.

“See something you like, Princess?”

Lexie snapped her eyes back up to meet his and frowned, licking her lips. She prayed her voice wouldn’t betray her fear as she took a step forward.

“Yes, actually. I wanted to grab a packet of those chips right behind you. Driving makes me hungry.”

The trio clearly didn’t expect that response, as the smaller boy and pink-haired girl chuckled and nudged each other, looking at the taller one with their eyebrows raised.

“Didn’t your parents ever teach you to charm a snake? Not step on its tail and make it bite?”

Lexie feigned confusion and sauntered forwards, making sure to swing her hips as she made her way across to where he stood, never taking her eyes away from his. When she reached where they stood, she pretended to reach around the tall boy, angling her body so that it was inches away from his and grabbed the chips from behind him. She looked up at him through her eyelashes and said “No, but I have learned that food beats sex any day, so I’ll just take the chips thanks.”

This resulted in a roar of laughter from small-boy and pink-girl, so Lexie winked and walked to the cashier. She bit her cheeks to stop her from laughing as she watched a clearly rattled tall-boy leave the store with his friends, trying not to feel a pull of adrenaline as they zoomed off on three motorbikes. Phew, Lexie thought to herself. That was too close. She wanted to throw the Serpents off her scent before she was ready to see them again, and what better way to do it than with a little flirting. Especially, because she knew that if the bottom of her crop top rose a tiny bit higher up her rib cage, her cover would have been blown by the familiar S that was engraved on her skin.

She got back into her car, took a few deep breaths and headed to confront her past. There was only one place they could be, she thought. The Whyte Wyrm.

#sweet pea #sweet pea imagine #sweet pea x oc #sweet pea fanfiction #riverdale

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softstraykidsimagines · 6 years

Text

English Lessons

Summary: Hyunjin falls in love with someone who’s moved to Korea to teach English.

Requested: yes

Pairing: Hyunjin x reader

Genre: just plain FLUFF

Word count: 2,112k

A/N: This turned out WAYYYYY longer than I expected it to be phew! But it was still a blast to write!

Also, I know the name of the posts sucks but I couldn’t think of anything good -.-

You had just moved to Korea to teach English to those who wanted to speak more fluently. It was a great job opportunity and you wanted to learn about the culture that the country possessed as well.

Your parents didn’t fully understand why you wanted to go to Korea to teach English. Why not go to a country that was closer? But they accepted your decision and within a few months of getting you qualifications, you were unboxing your stuff in a cute cozy apartment.

It wasn’t much. You might be able to pay for a slightly bigger one once you start getting a decent income, but for now this space was purely for eating and sleeping in.

Which meant that you spent very little time there, and a lot more working.

Even if it was at a cafe, trying to find new ways to help people to learn quicker in lessons, you spent a lot of time out and about, carrying most of your work in your laptop.

One day, you were calmly typing away on a bench in a peaceful park, enjoying the soft sunlight.

Then you heard something. Something different.

Something you couldn’t hear on a regular bases.

Live music.

You hadn’t gone to any concerts recently, the the wonderful tune of notes in the air drew you naturally to a rather large gathering of people.

You managed to watch through the heads of the people in front of you.

And what you saw was magical.

Nine boys, all relatively young, were singing, rapping and dancing for the crowd.

You felt very impressed by the skill of what they could pull off. Their dancing was neat and precise, their rapping had emotion, and their singing was perfect. It was mesmerizing.

And then, someone caught your eye when a new song came on.

The one who seemed to be the leader announced that the next song was called Grow Up. It had a pleasant tune: soft, kind, reassuring. You were immediately interested.

The boy who had first caught your attention started rapping. But it wasn’t aggressive. No, it was a comfort, it was a gentle speech that brought warmth to your heart.

“It’s okay to fall over for a little. I’ll catch you, are you so worried? No no no. It’s only the start. It’s ok, it’s always like this at first. It’s normal like this, even adults when they were our age. We make mistakes and grow up with them. There are still many firsts for us. It’s okay, we can just grow from our experiences, don’t cry”

Did he just look at you when he finished? You must have been imagining it. But you had felt it, that electric shock when someone stares you in the eye.

What had you seen in his eyes when he had rapped his part? Anger? No. Sadness? Yes, melancholy. A silent suffering and a cry that not even his comrades could pick up. What had made him feel like that, to rap that part almost in tears? You weren’t sure. But you soon realized he had looked at you, saying ‘Don’t cry’ because that’s exactly what you were doing.

You wiped the tears away as quickly as possible. You never cried in public. Much less unconsciously. But there was something in that song, in the boy’s voice that hit you in the heart, and if someone had punched you there.

You decided to leave. You didn’t know what had happened during that song, but you didn’t want it to happen again.

You went back to your bench and opened your laptop again. What had I been doing before that music? Before that boy...? You shook your head violently. Get it together. You started typing again, slowly, your mind wandering as soon as you stopped concentrating even a little bit. He was so different... You finally stopped trying to write with a huff. That boy was becoming a nagging thought in your head and it was beginning to piss you off.

You decided to stop trying to work and just relax. Clear your head, maybe get a coffee later, and it’ll be as if nothing happened.

You sat for a while, just staring at the blue sky, listening to the birds, the breeze and distant traffic. The music had stopped, which disappointed you. You wanted to hear more, hear the boy again—

“Excuse me?” You look up in shock. Your mind had drifted so much that you didn’t even realize that someone had come up to talk to you. And when you saw who it was, you heart did a backflip.

It was him. Standing right in front of you.

He was taller than you first thought.

He had his hair parted to the side, held with hairspray. It suits him. He must be a professional performer. He was wearing relatively casual clothes, but somehow they looked completely original on him. You noticed a small mole just under his left eye, which was shining with kindness.

You were flustered to say the least.

His eyes suddenly went wide.

“Are you.... ummm.... not from here?” He asked in English. His accent was actually quite good, it surprised you. “I can speak a little English if you want”

You finally startle out of your daze. “Oh! No, no I can speak Korean, sorry. I teach English here” you smile kindly at him.

What was he doing talking to you? He must have better things to do than speak with someone who watched him perform. You were stumped. Then the boy switched back to Korean.

“Phew. I’m not good at English, I can only speak a few words” he chuckled. “Our leader, Channie Hyung usually tries to teach us, but he’s no professional.” He looked at you intently. “Maybe... you could teach us? If you’re willing to of course!” You noticed his ears were turning pink. Cute.

“That sounds like fun”, you answer. You weren’t about to turn down another job offer; the more the merrier! “Pass me your phone and I’ll give you my number”. He fished in his pocket and gave you his mobile phone. You quickly typed your number in and gave it back to him.

“Thank you!” He says, beaming. You couldn’t help but be intrigued by this kid. He seemed to go out of his way just to talk to you.

“OH I’m Hyunjin, by the way” he realized that he’s not even introduced himself.

“I’m y/n”, you giggled.

“YO! Prince!!” came the yell of a shorter boy from the group. “We need to scurry, or were gonna miss the meeting with JYP!”

“Coming!” He yelled back. “It was nice meeting you, y/n and I hope I see you again soon! Bye!” He sprints off with his companions, trying to fight one of them off as they tackled him in a hug.

What is with that kid? You ask yourself. Hyunjin.... pretty name...

You didn’t see Hyunjin for a while after your first encounter. You were working and he was working harder.

But you two started texting.

H: How do you say ‘You’re an absolute idiot and you should move out’ in English?

You: WHY TF WOULD I ANSWER THAT 0.o

H: I want to say it to Channie Hyung and scare him shitless

You: ugh ok fine

H: thank you y/nnnnnn :))))

H: if you want I’ll film his reaction

You: yes pls you owe me ^-^

And you both started getting closer before even meeting up.

Until one day:

H: HEY Y/N

You: hey! Why so energetic?

H: I have the day off and I was hoping you could give me a quick English lesson at the last minute???

You: Couldn’t you have warned me earlier??? >:(

H: I didn’t know until today, sorry :(

H: it’s ok if you can’t

You: no I can -.- how about we meet at the cafeteria around the corner of the JYP building?

H: COOL ILL C U THERE IN AN HOUR

Why in Hell would Hyunjin want to have an English lesson on the one day he can have a break?? You were no closer to figuring this boy out than you were the first day you met.

You finally arrived at the cafe and saw Hyunjin waiting for you at the corner table. You quickly ordered your drink and walked over.

“So! Long time no see!” You say, trying not to show that you were feeling nervous. “Thanks for the video of Chan, by the way. You were right, saying that scared him shitless”

“I knew you’d laugh” he smiled brightly.

“How’s idol-life going?”

“Tiring but amazing. We’re all working hard and it’s paying off”

“I’m glad. So why did you want to have an English lesson on the only day you have a break from all that?” You were dying to know. Your curiosity was at its highest.

Hyunjin shuffled a bit in his seat. “Actually, I just wanted to hang out with you” he shuts his eyes tightly before continuing. “We’re so busy right now, I haven’t had the chance to see you, so I was hoping today we could hang out?” He kept his eyes shut, waiting for your answer.

You couldn’t help but laugh at his attitude. “You didn’t have to ask for a lesson, dummy,” you said. “I’d love you spend the day with you.”

His face lit up with happiness. “Brilliant! Then finish your drink as quickly as possible and let’s get going!!”

The day you spent together was amazing. You went to a fair that was close by and competed in every booth. You shared food, laughed and had the time of your lives together.

It saddened you to end it.

“Can we meet up again?” Hyunjin asked hopefully.

“Of course we can,” you chuckle. Don’t hesitate to call me” and you say your farewells, and part ways.

But before you were out of earshot, you heard an excited yell.

“Hyung!! Hyung oh my god they told me to call them!!! The day was amazing!!!! We had so much fun!! I can’t wait to tell you everything!” And he ran in the direction of the dorms.

All you could do was stand there a moment, a little shell shocked.

You weren’t stupid. That wasn’t a normal reaction after hanging out with someone for the day, when you were ‘just friends’

Your heart started beating faster as you started picking up the pace to go home. He likes me too! He likes me too!! Was all you could think as you basically sprinted to your apartment.

You didn’t see each other again for a long time. In fact, you were barely in contact at all. You started texting less, he was working more, and you started loosing the hope you once had.

That was until you got an urgent message from him.

H: Y/N HELP WE ARE GOING TO THE USA IN A WEEK AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH PROPERLY CAN YOU PLEASE COME OVER TO THE DORMS

You: That’s out of the blue, mate. But lucky for you I’m free today. I’ll be over in 10 :)

H: THANK YOU SO MUCH

You finally got to the dorms, and knocked to get in.

When you entered, the first thing you saw was Hyunjin. He was standing in the middle of the room, fiddling with the hem of his shirt and he seemed to snap out of a daydream when he saw you.

“Hey, are you ok?” You ask gently.

“Umm.... I’m..... I’m......” he finally gulped. “I wanted to tell you, y/n, that.... we aren’t going to America. I asked you to come because I wanted to tell you that.... that I..... I like you. And I’ve liked you since I saw you cry while watching me perform. I like everything about you, from how you add cute faces to your texts to how you laugh when your having fun to how much you care about your work. And I want to be more than friends!” He shuts his eyes, a very tense squint, as he waited for your answer.

“You’re cute when you do that” you say, giggling.

He looked at you appalled. “Do what?”

“That little squinty thing! It’s so cute”

He goes all red. “I’m not cute” he mumbles.

“Yes you are, and I really like that about you”, you counter. You continue softly “I really like you too, Hyunjin. And I’d love to hang out more with you. Just, next time, don’t tell me it’s for a lesson, just say you want to hang out”

He smiles like a child, and shuffled over to you to hug you.

“Thank you” he whispers.

[BONUS]

H: Y/NNNNNNN

You: yeessssssssss???? :))))

H: we’re in need of an english lesson! Do you mind coming over?

You: is it really for a lesson? *~*

H: ...

You: Jinnie.... -.-

H: please just come hang out with us!

#stray kids #stray kids imagines #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin

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gazza-ladra · 5 years

Text

I'm gonna go off topic for a post. I'm gonna talk Menstrual Cups! There, I said it. Phew! I can't really talk to anyone irl about it, because - yeah gross! - but I still wanna share my enthusiasm. I'm currently on my third "cup period". And (as a big first in my life!) since I've had the cup, I'm actually excited for my period, because I get to try my cup! :) Sounds stupid, I know. Originally, I wasn't a fan. I knew about the environmentalist argumentation, the feminist one, the economical approach... To me, those are purely side effects. I'm partial to a practical approach. Whenever I saw an item online about "tampon tax", there were comments along the lines of "Get a cup. You won't have to bother anymore." beneath it. My thoughts always were "Stop your moralizing missionary work. Why would I use such a disgusting, backward thing?" and then I forgot about it. [Ironically though, when I was on my second "cup period", the government actually announced the were abolishing "tampon tax". Just like with birth control: The pill is made free of charge for people under 18 when I'm 20, for under 25 when I'm 27, and for under 30 when I'm 32...] Now what did finally convince me?

YouTube. At one point, I got into watching TED talks. Which resulted in recommendations for chatty shows full of people complaining about their self-made problems. I'm ashamed to admit that I got into those as well. That resulted in recommendations for wannabe rich girls complaining that they got bad service at Chanel or something... Again, I'm ashamed to admit that I got into those. Then came recommendations for videos about menstrual cups. I don't know how the algorithm might have come up with that, or why I started watching, but it did. And I did. The first one was something like "I tried a menstrual cup and ended up in hospital." Strangely enough, it didn't entirely discourage me. It was more of an "I can do better." feeling. As I watched more and more cup stories, I got more and more giddy to give it a try. Read up on it. Found a great site (in German though) to help you choose your ideal cup - tassenfinder(.)de. The next day, I bought my cup. I haven't regretted it so far. About the "gross": It is a bit. Sure. But no more than tampons and pads really. Pads get your blood just about everywhere. With tampons you get quite some on your fingers. With cups too, but I think I get less on my hands than with tampons, even though I have to reach higher up. Your insides are not as smeared with blood as they are on tampons. It can get really messy though if you don't have running water next to your toilet to rinse your cup. But this is hardly ever the case, as you have to refresh the cup only once every 12 hours. So most of the the time, you can do it at home, in your own comfy and tap-equipped bathroom. What's really less gross when using cups is your trash can! The cup is cleaned out immediately. It isn't lying around for half an eternity after use, waiting for trash day. I really really don't miss my trash can smelling like a week old murder scene! Btw, this was the main reason that convinced me to make the switch. Second reason: A cup doesn't dry you out. OK, this is more of a point for tampon users. Pad users don't really dry out. On lighter days, tampons were sticking to me. This made them hurt when taking them out. They even disintegrated partly. Little fuzzy cotton bits staying inside. Ugh! A cup won't stick. (Although it does hurt a little bit when I take it out, but it gets better and better with practice.) You can put your cup in when you're expecting your period, before it actually starts. You know starting day? When every dripple, every tickle makes you run and check if your underwear has turned into a bloody mess? And then you miss the real start because you're distracted? No more! Now for something I always dreaded: the period sneezeTM! ...or cough, or laughter. First sneeze in the morning, and everything explodes. Not with a cup. You don't feel anything. You don't feel dripping or running at all. You don't have to rush to the bathroom to check if everything got caught. It. got. Drawback is that you have to make sure the cup sits properly every time you put it in - to do this, you have to reach quite a bit into yourself. You have to trap that cervix! (Don't worry, it's easier to spot than it sounds. Not half as disgusting and/or uncomfortable as I imagined. And the insides are surprisingly unbloody.) That reminds me: One night when I went into the shower after placing my cup, I felt a strange feeling of ...manliness. A little unexpected straight after stirring around in my most female components... But after all, I had now completely sealed off my lady parts, and they wouldn't be calling themselves to my attention for the next half a day or so. Forget about them! Yay! So when I read that for some people using a cup eases their gender dysphoria, I tend to believe it. What I cannot confirm from my experience is that periods are shorter and less painful when you're using a cup. Mine is even a day or two longer - or maybe it’s just me seeing the collected remainder of period material in the cup that would otherwise simply cling to my inner walls and never come to my attention. Also, I rarely have period cramps, but with the cup I have a slightly unpleasant twitchy crampy feeling for a few minutes after changing it. I guess that's because due to suction the cervix is strained a bit when removing the cup, as well as brushed against when inserting it again, and apparently I have a sensitive cervix, according to my gyn... The cup doesn't threaten to fall out when you're having a number one. You can just ignore it when taking a tinkle. It does threaten to fall out (but doesn't actually) when you're doing a number two. Again, just ignore it, maybe give the cup a little push back up when finished.

You can shower and bathe, and still ignore your cup as well as your period. No leaking or mandatory changing of hygiene products after splashing around in some water. No strings attached - literally. There is no thread that can accidentally be seen or felt. I had no problem getting the cup tight right from the first time I used it. (I made a “dry test” though before I got my period. It’s less messy to try around a bit when no gush is rushing out of you.) Other people had to try quite a few times until it didn't leak anymore. Just make sure that cervix is inside, not outside, and it will be 100% spot-free!

I've seen reports claiming that if you're sick during your period, you will be sick again on your next period when reusing your cup. I had a bad cold on my second cup period. I don't have one on my third. I did nothing but rinse and boil my cup between periods - standard procedure. So the preservation of germs wasn't an issue for me.

Erm, yeah. This has been a PSA. Thank you for your attention!

#other #me #menstrual cup #tw: blood #tw: periods #tw: dysphoria #this is a text post - so sfw as by tumblr's rules

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wth-storylocke-archive · 2 years

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Chapter 24: Great, I really understood that well

🍃 Nuzforums: https://nuzlockeforums.com/forum/posts/868412 💾 AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/chapters/96023752

⋖ Previous ⋄ First ⋄ Next ⋗

click-clik. click-clak. …I should probably stop fidgeting with this thing before it breaks or something. click-clik. I take one more look at it. Tiny, translucid-white, diamond-shaped crystal, with a little circley symbol…

Thinking about the energy that's apparently stored in this thing… wild. And anyone is meant be able to use it… So much for that anime-ish speech Captain Pink-hair gave me, huh?

I almost feel bad for him. First I somehow find a way to crash right into the place he's supposed to be watching over, then even after he trusts the Totem Rat's judgment and officially acknowledges yesterday's fight as a win over the trial, partially as an apology… the dumb crystal doesn't even work.

“Find the energy within yourself” my ass, lol. And it's not even the stone's fault either, since Kukui managed to show off a “Normal-type Z-Move” (aka his dog running really fast into a tree and breaking it in two??) with this very same crystal… So basically I'm not only an amnesiac, but there's also some kind of magical part of me that's fundamentally broken somehow! Great!

And the only possible lead we have so far about any of it-- is to keep doing that darned island challenge so I can keep traveling around and hopefully maybe remember something. sigh.

Finally clipping the crystal back onto the bottom of the triangle-patterned wood amulet thingy they also gave me. I mean, I can't deny that it looks pretty cool – the way the metal holder part that the stone is set in can be attached to another one, and so on until you have a long chain of them… Except you gotta fistfight some ginormous supernatural creature for every tiny rock.

About that… I wonder when Hau will be done with his own creature-punching. He's been really excited about it and Captain Pink told him it was OK to go… Ah well, Lillie went to cheer him on, and knowing Hau, as soon as he's finished he'll probably run back here ready to tell me exactly how it went down. I'm fine with staying outside that damn cave, thank you very much.

I have to wait for the both of them to go any further than this “Route 2” anyway. That's one of the conclusions the Adult Council came to – that it would probably be safer for me to keep traveling with other people, instead of alone with my team. I quite agree with them, to be honest. Of course, Hau volunteered immediately, and Lillie followed suit pretty quickly.

I take a deep breath of the outside's refreshing air.

Side look at Isabel, who insisted on laying down between me and the cliff a few steps ahead… He's still in the same spot, eyes half-closed. I was thinking of keeping them around for “Route 3” since apparently it gets even steeper, and he's the biggest one-- but maybe I should keep Ayo since she can fly?

Actually… thinking about it, I don't really know everything they can do, do I? I remember some of it from the battles at the school, but that didn't help me much when I was severely panicking against the big rat and kinda only relied on what Melga was saying… Maybe I should start working on this.

Looking through my small stash of occupied pokéballs – now all with their own personalized pattern and adorable little drawing from Melga –, I finally decide to push every button at once. “Alright, you lot!” I call out before they can scatter about-- all heads turn to me. “We're gonna do a, uhh… “move checkup” so I can know more about whatever superpowers y'all got! Anyone up to go first?”

* * *

Phew. Well, I sure learned a lot about the team's magic today. Such as: - Melga is apparently always listening because she immediately flew in to help with her screen even though I hadn't called her?? …jk, jk. For real this time:

- Blu can attack with, uh, cold air. So I guess we know what to do if it gets too hot. - sometimes a “move” is literally just Cinnamon curling into a ball and it,, magically makes her more resistant to stuff? - AND she has something that makes her able to successfully land a hit no matter where the target is?? Not gonna lie, with how quiet she usually is, I wasn't expecting shit like this.

- aligning with that sentiment, Ayo has one that hits harder the stronger the opponent can attack…? Seriously where do they find these - also she can do random psychic damage (whatever the heck that is), but I don't think she can talk directly like Espurr. At least according to Melga she seems to be having fun…

- Isabel can slap people - I mean they can also bite and scratch repeatedly but slap? really? - oh and he can summon shining, homing shooting stars. What the hell. - lastly… being a goo is cute and all, but Mo has a few too many poison abilities to my liking. Of course I trust Melga when she says xey can control them perfectly, but still…

…yeah, as I said, it was a lot. Sorry about that, I'm still trying to remember it all properly.

Oh, and lest I forget – since I'm personally not too fond of picking fights with every freaking dangerously magical creature I come across, we've agreed to start doing a sort of daily training warmup! This way, everyone on the team has a chance to get stronger and master their abilities, no matter how many opponents actually challenge us later. And hopefully we'll kick ass at whatever it will be.

There was even some random wild fluffy monkey (just “Mankey”? Seriously?) who joined our training session at some point! “Kebbles” (her name, Melga said) promptly returned to the wildlife once we were done, but I'm sure it says something about this region that even random monkeys from the bushes will politely demand to throw hands with you…

I actually did ask the team if they really wanted to stick with me after seeing what a Totem fight was like – and to my surprise, they all did! So at least I'm glad I'm not forcing anyone's hand. or paw. or… well, you get it.

Also, yeah, I'm resting again now. I know we haven't moved much, but I think we deserve it after that training session. Besides, Hau and Lillie probably won't take long now. It's Cinnamon's turn to stay out of the ball; she's flopped down next to me and is grooming herself thoroughly. God, she's so cute.

Although… After waiting until she's finished, I can't help but ask: “Hey, Cinnamon?” She looks up at me. “I know you said you wanted to stay with me and all, but so far you haven't, uh… I haven't seen you battle much. “So like, are you sure sure? That you wanna come along? Cause we may have to fight people a whole lot--”

Oh. She's already snuggling her muzzle against my arm. I pet her soft fur in response. “Well, alright then. But, like, if at any time you don't want to battle, no matter the reason- just tell me and I'll get you out, okay? That goes for the others, too.”

She nods. And now she's grinding her teeth again – according to the dex, that's the bunny equivalent of purring. Hah. She's so cuddly I'm almost wondering if she's just staying for the hugs, lol. Not that I mind.

MILZA! Hoho, now I think I know who that is… Setting Cinnamon into her usual hiding spot of the hood of my hoodie, I turn around to see… exactly who I was expecting.

“MILZA IT WAS SO COOL!! I GOTTA TELL YOU!!” Aka: a very excited Hau coming our way. And Lillie, in her not-quite-brand-new black/dark blue fit, trying her best to keep up with him.

I put my hands around my mouth and yell back-- two small words that I sure don't pronounce together often. “I'M READY!”

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thisismydesignhannibal · 6 years

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FannibalFest 2017 Recap! 1/3

PIC HEAVY!

PHEW! Going to have to do a few of these to even attempt to cover such an amazing experience! My apologies for taking so long with this... Con drop is real people! And even though I’m usually on Tumblr more, Twitter was easier to use during the Con. If you’re interested in even more pics and stuff, you can always go find me there (@MyDesignHanibl). I’ll do some general con stuff in this post, and follow up with two about the tours (one for each day).

FIRST OFF, WHAT AN AMAZING CON!!!!!

If you were thinking about going but were on the fence, PLEASE consider it next time! It was absolutely amazing. The guests, tours, panels, props, meals and overall vibes were just wonderful. @fannibalfest-toronto did an incredible job!

Our wonderful guests, Janice Poon, Vladimir Jon Cubrt, Martha De Laurentiis, Demore Barnes, Scott Thompson, and Aaron Abrams! And one of many appearances of special guest, Peking Hannibal... Janice brought him and he got a really good run for his money with us ;)

SO MANY MORE THE PICS under the cut!

I apologize in advance that my pics of the guests aren’t better... I was so busy clapping and giggling (not to mention not wanting to shove a camera in their faces) that they could be better :/

The cast arrived at the welcome ceremony ahead of Mamma Martha. They seemed so happy and excited to see us, Vlad ran around the room giving high fives, Demore was incredibly eloquent, Aaron and Scott hilarious, and Janice adorable!

The guests were presented GORGEOUS personalized flower crowns by the incredibly talented @apoptoses Below, you can see the lovely crown she made for me, and her absolutely STUNNING cosplay of Margot! Love and hugs my talented, funny, lovely Hannipologist friend XO P.S. She takes commissions!

Some photos of me with the Cast and one with Mamma Martha! They were all so generous and seemed to get a real kick out of everyone’s poses. I love Janice being EXTRA in the group photo and Scott deciding to make it like an awkward family photo... Demore kept his hand on my back through the photo and I could barely concentrate ;P He really tries to make sure people are at ease and he is constantly dropping words of eloquent wisdom with that incredible voice of his!!! When it came time for my solo photo with him, he asked what I wanted and I just blurted out “I want you to strangle me!” he gave me that low chuckle and this pic is what came of it... we laughed later at the autograph session that it looks like I’m being strangled by a Dr Seuss character ;P Aaron and Scott really liked my photo with them, and Aaron even posted it on his Instagram! It was from Scott’s comments about how his gun instructor on the show had to keep telling him to tone down the Charlie’s Angels with how he wielded the gun, HA! Vlad was super high energy and welcoming... I was able to borrow the plastic knife from the lovely @miasmatik and ask him to “cut my throat” Vlad asked if I wanted us to play serious to which I stupidly responded “I’m happy you’re murdering me!” He laughed and said “Ok, then I’m going to be really menacing.” ;P They all loved @apoptoses flower crown and my shirt by @wisesnail <333

Mamma Martha! We were incredibly lucky that Martha announced at the last minute that she was going to do free autographs and selfies with everyone! She was so generous with her time and seemed really amazed by the dedication and creativity of the fandom. No major Season 4 news, but she’s definitely working on it and appreciates our ongoing support.

One of the biggest highlights for me was when my fic The Way I Changed You won the Stag Awards for the fluff category!!! Both Janice and Demore presented my award (a copy of the @radiance-anthology and a nice plaque!) and gave me some lovely hugs :) I’ll do a proper post for it soon, but I’ve finally got it up on AO3 if you’d like to read!

Aaron and Scott joking about not caring that the other is answering questions aimed only at them ;P With all their hilarity and jokes, what struck me most is that they seem so much like an old married couple! Aaron is such a long-suffering wife, and Scott constantly looks to Aaron to both rein him in and egg him on :P They riff off each other so much and seem really in sync. Both incredibly good sports and Aaron in particular seemed so fascinated and complimentary of the fandom and everything we do.

Martha did her own panel and told us so much about how Hannibal came to be, the complexities of rights, and how she found herself in the roll she’s in. I had no idea that she started out with a modeling scholarship that took her to New York... hating the modeling, she then went to school for accounting and started doing books for films in New York! Such an inspiring story. The final panel had everyone, including Janice, which was a lovely treat! Janice’s story was just as fascinating as Martha’s, including designing weddings for Saudi princesses, being an editor, and owning a fancy shop in Toronto’s high-end Yorkville neighbourhood. She described herself as “rudderless” and said it was a wonderful thing :D

At his panel Demore spoke so eloquently about basically everything and gave two lucky Fannibals the opportunity to get played like a cello...to two songs he hummed from Phantom of the Opera ;P Aaron found he was missing a button at the Sassy Science panel...eventually he substituted a Hannibal pin to fill in the gap!

Some more photos of the cast... Demore being beautifully eloquent at the meet and greet, Aaron checking Scott before he said something he shouldn’t (he was slacking on the job a bit!), Vlad being Vlad and really coaxing the energy in the room, and Aaron making Hannidoll bow down to him in the meet and greet (take note of the pin). Mostly they asked questions about us at the meet and greet, and seemed so genuinely interested in the fandom and what we do. They said we feel like a family :)

A fun arrangement of Hannidolls that accidentally ended up as a centerpiece on the main table at the luncheon! Aaron in particular seemed to think it was hilarious and took a ton of pics ;P It was moved off the table since we didn’t want them to be uncomfortable, but they thought it was funny :)

Our dinner with Janice! The menu had vegetarian options for us few vegetarian cannibals, which was lovely. Janice came around and sat with us while we ate and was honestly just ONE OF US. She’s just like talking to another Fannibal, albeit one who knows a bunch of stories about teaching Mads to cook and whether he swallows (he does ;P) and she can be just as wonderfully inappropriate as us (take for example her comment about hypothetically saving Hannibal’s cock in the freezer for “reasons” instead of eating it ;P) Afterwards she signed our menus and hung out. She in no way kept herself separate from us and often was seen around the Con or taking in panels (or messing around with the Peking Hannibal!)

Peking Hannibal was a big hit...Janice brought him to the party and he made lots of appearances throughout the Con. He’s an actual Mads body cast so you can imagine that we were...interested...for reasons ;P Janice’s sanguinaccio dolce demo was on the second day and she had him all laid out and covered in fruit (top pic!) and was totally cool with us checking him out after the demo was over.

OK! I have so many pics but I should stop :P If you have any particular questions just let me know!

Stay tuned for 2 more posts on the two tours!!!

1st tour post

2nd tour post

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onepunchmiss · 5 years

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OPM s2e5 Live blog

“The Martial Arts Tournament”

Alright I’m back to the regular live blog schedule and theres 2 things before we get started. 1) OH MY GOD DO-S IS THE EPISODE THUMBNAIL WE GET TO SEE ALL THE MONSTERS POPPING UP and 2) DOES THAT MEAN WE’LL SEE ZOMBIEMAN TRAILING MARTIAL GORILLA BECAUSE IF SO I sincerely apologize in advance yall must be aware by now how that’s going to go down on this blog. Anyway, as always I’m watching this from the perspective of someone who is caught up on both the manga and web comic. Los geht’s!

Yup the centipede movement is still creepy as hell. I saw people saying it was cgi last week which I didn’t catch right away, but regardless it’s done so well because it looks unnatural.

EYYYYY ok actually I kind don’t care about Metal Knight. What this episode is actually going to be is me screaming about all the monsters liKE RHINO WRESTLER AND PHOENIX MAN GUYS I LOVE THIS STUPID BIRD SO MUCH HECKING HECK. I’m gonna vomit like him and Do-S PLUS Garou vs Bat PLUS the other S Class heroes (Tatsumaki and Flashy Flash??) I am not physically mentally or emotionally prepared.

Yo this seems to be a trend with the monsters and me, I am evidently never prepared for the garish color schemes they get. Not mad just surprised every time?

hhhhhhhhhhhhh Ok the fight! I’m… I’m gonna try really hard to not pause every 2 seconds because I will inevitably have many words to say and screen grabs to take but that would be more than excessive sooooo ok here I go

Lol I failed immediately. I love that they’re going shot for shot with the fight. I’ve said it before, but I really think Murata captures movement and action sequences so well in the manga that if the anime were to try and deviate, it just wouldn’t be as good (especially with all the flack JC staff has been catching). Also I ADORE Metal Bat’s theme music when his fighting spirit comes out??? It’s so corny and triumphant and bad ass at once it fits him so well?? Ok wait a second I thought that after metal bat hit the manhole cover it ricocheted and came back at Garou what the heck??? That was such a cool move on Bat’s part and demonstrates he’s not just brute force, but tactical too. Why’d they leave that out??OH COME ON THEY DID WHAT THE HELL WHERE IS THIS??

This is actually my least favorite thing about season 2 biggest complaint what the fuck they did my boy dirty here. Oh thank god Zenko is here to quell my anger. Also Bat’s glowing eyes of murderous intent. Look at her. A legend.

Garou: “...haa?” Yup still love his voice actor. Perfection. Also Zenko. Just. Metal Bat and Zenko. Moshi moooshi? Just. This whole thing was almost perfect. So close. The fight felt so short, and it was because they cut out some good stuff. So close to perfection uhg

AH MY STUPID BIRD MAN he sounds exactly like what I wanted him to I’m so glad and HAH the fuckin hand I forgot about that. Side note, Anyone else play Arkham Asylum? The monster association logo looks like Scarecrow’s symbol in that game…. ANYWAY I need to take a moment to appreciate that little Phoenixman chuckle it was hella cute ok

Rh-Rhino Wrestler basically just said “Then Perish”

Oh Fuck

Oh God

Martial Gorilla

Oh fuck

O H F UK

oh false alarm im ok my heart rate skyrocketed for nix Oh Maiko Plasma!! I love her voice wtf its cute? Phew ok the tournament. Wait that’s not giving me a break either because MAX AND SNEK M A X AND SN EK

I love him and his stupid hair omg. I’m REALLY hoping that the anime branching out and giving other characters more spotlight will help them grow in popularity a bit. Every single character in this series is underrated imo. Even the popular ones like geNOS LOOKIT HIM clapping for his sensei. Genos is baby boy I lov

“Dark Corporeal Fist?” Isn’t Void Fist just easier to say? really now. Oh My God Sourface chanting “I’m ok I’m ok I’m ok” is literally my daily Mood™. Damn look at Bang taking out some frustration I’d hate to be that monster. Me too my dude Smile Man.

WHOA I was NOT expecting that transition!! Heart! Hard! HIT! It’s the Monster Wife!! And She definitely looks more monstrous in color oof those eyes ❤❤

OH FUCK OH GOD WAIT MARTIAL GORILLA AGAIN DAMN IT I WISH I REMEMBERED EXACTLY WHEN Z SHOWS UP MY BLOOD PRESSURE CANT TAKE THIS ofuck ok false alarm again but I’m low key freaking out as they pan through all the monsters because the S Class is so close like we’re about to get Child Emperor, Flashy Flash, Pig God, Drive Knight, Darkshine and so on who got next to no screen time in season 1 its giving me anxiety im so pumped??

OH FUCK GUYS PUREBLOOD OH SHIT FUCK I FORGOT WE SEE HIM THIS EARLY CAUSE HIS DESIGN KEPT CHANGING he looks stupid with his hair behind his ears and his voice is NOT what I imagined and that manga panel redraw I did was way off with the color scheme but I don’t care I have read and re-read that fight countless times this monster just grew on me by default oh no UHG and look at Super S again it looks like they’re going panel for panel here with her and I’m not complaining

They keep hopping to the tournament but I don’t have much to say about it until the shit starts going down….. and like I’m so excited for that Snek and Max moment (you know the one) but until then I’m just so overwhelmed by all the other plotlines happening I don’t have much in the way of comments for it

I lied ok that eye twitch got me. But see then it cuts away too quickly and the episode is over. I get that there’s a lot happening at once but the tournament feels dragged out a bit. It’s different when you read the manga at your own pace but cmonnnnnnnnnnnnn gimme moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

HAH THANK YOU POST CREDIT STINGER YOU DELIVERED MY WISHES AND ZAKKOS IS SOME WEAK SAUCE.

NEXT WEEK GUYS ITS HAPPENING

Final thoughts. Um. I wish the Garou vs. Metal Bat was a tad longer just for that ONE moment. I’m still heartbroken over it. But otherwise? I’m so excited for next week, I can’t convey my excitement without being excessively obnoxious? this episode was pure hype. There are no buts about it- we are getting the S Class next week. I… think I’m going to leave work at noon to catch the episode right when it airs. I was saving that for an episode with Z but I don’t think I’ll be able to function at work if I stay. At this point every character is a fave and now we’re getting all of them, I feel so overloaded and we haven’t even seen anything yet. I don’t know what to even say about the future of these crap ass live blogs- they have no structure as it stands right now, but like they are going to devolve into just me screaming. Not even real words. just something like keyboard smashing and tears, probably. I’m so sorry, but anyway, as always thanks for reading, see yall next week assuming I survive

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yesyunniechan · 7 years

Text

Detective Conan File 1001 [Japanese to English Translation]

This is just like the blood ceiling...

Se: Just like the Blood Ceiling...

S: Yeah...

S: What's more, the bloody footprints on the ceiling...

S: Lead to the window...

Se: The criminal wanted to pretend that they’d lifted the victim up and stabbed him...

Se: Before walking on the ceiling...

Se: And disappearing from the 15th floor window...

Se: As if they had both wings capable of flight and the ability to move the human body as they wish...

Se: Like it was done by some monster...

[It was supposed to be a fun school trip...]

K: Tengu...

K: Are you saying that Nishiki-kun was killed by a tengu?

I: T-Tengu?!

K: I mean, if we’re talking about a monster that can fly and possesses supernatural powers...

A: W-what are you saying?! There’s no way they actually exist in real life, right?!

K: Well, what else could it be?

M: Tengus are fictional...

M: They only exist in stuff like that movie we recently shot...

M: So are you saying that some fictional demon killed Nishiki?

S: It does look like the criminal wanted to imitate a tengu at all costs, doesn’t it?

S: Even the victim’s pocket

...

S: Contains an aralia leaf, which tengus usually carry with them...

S: What’s more...

S: There’s a new cipher...

S: Maybe the cipher resembling this one that Nishiki-san received last week...

S: Was a murder notice?..

I: M-murder notice?!

I: Oi-oi, another cipher appeared, so that must mean...

K: That somebody else will be killed as well?

Se: Did the Dekuri guy who created the cipher hold a grudge against Nishiki-san?

I: N-no... Right?

A: Y-yeah...

S: Well, maybe the crime was committed by someone who was discontent with that Crimson Shura-Tengu movie that was meant to premier this weekend...

S: Since its script has been scattered around...

S: By the way...

S: What’s with these slippery pieces of paper stuck onto the paper here and there?

M: Post-it notes! Nishiki has been using these sorts of sticky notes lately, claiming that they are easy to paste and to tear off...

M: Since the film was to be novelized, Nishiki brought the script with him to the Hotel in order to do some tweaking...

K: He was so eager to finish it before the premier...

Se: Hey, you said that you’d all planned to gather in Nishiki-san’s room in ten minutes to go to the bar, so...

Se: Who was the first one who came to this room?

I: M-me and Agata....

A: When we arrived, there was no answer even though we rang the doorbell...

S: If that’s true, then it must mean that the criminal killed Nishiki-san and left those footprints within those 10 minutes...

Se: Right... When we visited this room earlier, there were no foot-prints...

S: So? Have you called the police?

M: Yeah... the bellboy that opened the door with the master key

left to report it... He just contacted us and said that Ayanokoji-keibu of

the Kyoto prefecture is on his way...

Se: Ayanokoji-keibu of the Kyoto prefecture,huh...

S: That person has a chipmunk, so he’s a bit of an unorthodox police inspector... But he’s pretty quick-witted, so no worrie...

S: ..s?!

Se: Hm? Is something wrong?

S: N-no, nothing...

S: Damn... the medicine's effect is wearing out...

S: I-I'll leave the rest to you... Sera...

Se: O-oi...

R: Shinichi...why is your face so pale?

So: Was it that bad?

S: Y-yeah... So you two shouldn't go in there...

S: M-my cold got worse, so...

S: I'll return to my room and sleep...

R: S-Shinichi...

N: What, Kudo?

S: S-sorry, Nakamichi.... I forgot my room key inside...

N: So how was it? Meeting the famous actress Kurachi Keiko....

S: L-let's talk about that tomorrow...

N: What? Everybody's been waiting to hear about it...

N: Though I'm only interested in idols myself...

S: I-I'm tired, I'll sleep... Don't wake me...

N: O-okay...

N: Oi, you OK, Kudo?

M1: Leave him, leave him!

M2: He's excited that he finally go to meet up with his wifey!

S: Phew...

N: Right!

S: Oi, it's about time...

H: Kudo, just so ya know...

H: Ya owe me big time for this...

C: Yeah, yeah... I got it...

C: Don't blow my cover...

H: Have some faith in me here!

N: Right-right, let's ask him about his London confession to Mouri before he falls asleep!

N: Don't be shy, Kudo~ <3 You're not asleep yet, right?

N: Did you kiss?

C: Damn it... the voice changer is under the pillow...

N: If you don't answer, we'll tear off that blanket off you, y'know?

H/S: Yeah! 'Course! Innit obvious that we'd hit it off? Ya idiot!

N: W-why are you speaking kansai-ben?

H: When in Rome, ya do as the Romans do! Ya lot should use kansaiben too!!

N: Ah, okay...

M1: So they kissed...

M2: Cool...

C: Starting from tomorrow, I should carry my voice changer with me at all times...

C: Buut.... it's such a pain to follow Haibara's instructions...

H: There are three key points, got it?

H: After the last one wears off, you need to wait eight hours before taking the next one...

H: Come up with some way to keep people's eyes off of you while you're stuck in your kid body!

H: Once you're back in Kudo Shinichi's body, don't do anything that will bring you too much attention!

H: Also, don't flirt too much!

C: Flirting... wasn't that your fourth point just now...

H: W-well, that fourth one is... trivial... Point is, it's only under these three conditions that I'll give you the APTX 4869 antidote!

C: 8 more hours... how long...

C: Right! I should show this to Hattori for the time being...

H: Hm? An email?

H: A cipher...

A: Ho...

A: So that’s what Kudo Shinichi-kun, highschool detective, said about

me...

Se: Yes... That you’re pretty quick-witted, and that there’s no need to

worry...

A: Thanks a lot... But this is quite strange... I’ve never met Kudo-kun before...

[Ayanokoji Fumimaru 28

Police inspector of first division of Kyoto prefectural police]

Se: He does carry a chipmunk with him...

A: Maybe he asked Conan-kun or the others?

Se: ...wait, so he brought a pet to a crime scene?

A: But that’s just an awful way to kill someone... not only a knife to the heart...

A: But two bumps to the head on top of that...

A: Anyway, we need to investigate the crime scene properly, which might take some time...

A: Please return to your respective rooms and wait...

A: Since both the victim and you, the suspects, are celebrities...

A: I think we might see quite an uproar once dawn breaks...

C: Ouch...

C: Riight... I fell asleep under the bad...

C: Great, eight hours have passed...

C: It's medicine time~

S: Phew...

S: I... will these last me until the end of the school trip?

S: Oi-oi they...

S: Never returned to their rooms?

S: Hm?

S: A message from Keiko-san...

[Shinichi-kun, help! Now there’s trouble with Agata-kun!! Go to room 1504, quickly!]

S: Eh?

S: Oi, Hattori, wake up!!

H: I can’t eat any more...

S: It's a case!!

H: Hah?...

A: Was Agata-san really that loud?

K: Yes... He shouted at the top of his lungs, so much so that I could even hear it from the next room over ...

K: Heelp~ I'm being killed~

I: Really?!

S: Keiko-san!!

K: Shinichi-kun!

A: So you're Kudo Shinichi-kun...

A: Oh? And the one behind you...

A: Hattori Heiji-kun, son of the Osaka prefectural police superintendent, if I’m not mistaken?

H: K-Kudo invited me to visit him at the hotel... I just happened to be around!

H: That aside, what happened?

A: Agata-san shouted strange things while in his room...

A: The bellboy is opening his door for us right now...

A: I bet it’s just because he saw last night’s murder scene...

A: Probably had a nightmare...

[Te,

Tengu?!]

TN: THANK YOU GOSHO

WHEN EVERY LINE IS DIVIDED TO 6-10 DUE TO THE LINEBREAKING GLITCH

A PAGE WITH NO LINE IS EVEN MORE BLESSING THAN USUAL

A: F-forgive me... forgive me....

H: Oi! Do ya have a weapon of some sort?!

A: Ah, no...

S: Shit!

A: Stay away...Stay away...

A: Stay away!

[Eh?]

M: H-he disappeared?!

I: Vanished into flames?!

K: No way?!

A: Awawawawa...

H: Oi, Kudo...

H: There’s no way...We’re still asleep, right?

[Finally appeared... the real tengu?!..]

P.S. This file is cursed. First it came out at my 2 AM when I went to sleep. Then due to misunderstanding we lost the proofread version of case, and we had to copy it from the typeset version, which took a lot of time. AND ON TOP OF THAT, since it was photoshop to notepad transition, there was a linebreak glitch and it looked like THIS:

At all pages.

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mikebigby-blog · 6 years

Text

Netflix Legend of Zelda full season 1 outline

I am pants-shittingly excited about the possibility of a live-action Legend of Zelda series on Netflix. You’ve heard the rumours. I’ve heard the rumours. And I have shitted all of my pants. I only have pants with shit in them now. I know what you’re saying out-loud to your computer like a weirdo as you read this blog alone; you’re saying “Mike, just wash your pants” but then I wouldn’t be wearing the pants and the shit would go on the floor. Think before you speak.

Anyway, this is a serious blog. Please don’t be put off by my shitty pants, I won’t mention them again from here on out.

Just imagine. An actually good live-action Legend of Zelda TV show.

I have dreamed of this since I was a 11 year old kid when I “wrote” and “directed” an Ocarina of Time movie using my dad’s 20kg VHS cam-corder. I never finished that movie, so this is literally unfinished business for me.

As the title of this blog suggests, for fun, I’ve put together a treatment for what I think a Legend of Zelda series could be.

If you don’t like it, no worries. It’s not much more than fan-fiction. If you DO like it, I dunno, share it with your friends or something.

Format, tone and general thoughts

I think the tone of the show should be light-hearted, weird, occasionally funny, and ultimately epic. That’s what Zelda is. I see it as Game of Thrones meets Dirk Gently, kinda.

I personally think this should be live-action, but it doesn’t have to be, a cartoon would be cool.

I’m suggesting ten eps per season and as many seasons as possible. In my opinion we should stay with the same Link, Zelda and Ganondorf, but there’s no real reason why the show couldn’t jump multiple generations with each season like the games do.

This treatment consists of a scene-by-scene of the pilot, and outline of episodes two and three, and basically extended log-lines for episodes four to ten. Sorry they’re not all scene-by-scenes, it was already a lot of (fun) work to draft this and besides, I don’t think you’d want to read that much anyway.

Please bear in mind that it’s all about the execution. These are still just ideas. If the show was developed, things would get more complex, ledes would be excavated and everything would be amped up to make every episode as compelling as possible. So imagine everything I say is better than it is lol.

Finally, I’ve tried to draw from / reference as many of the games as possible. I think the show, and even this blog post, should absolutely reward fans of the franchise.

Context

We need to start off with some Hyrule Historia to set this pitch in context. One of the things that most grounds Game of Thrones is its world’s rich history and that’s something the Zelda franchise shares. So I want to set up some legends and lore upfront.

NB In the actual show this should not be revealed in narration or an opening scroll. It’s primary purpose is to inform the world of Hyrule and its characters’ motivations. It will be revealed to the audience slowly and sparingly through reference and allusion over the season.

Here we go:

Two thousand years before the events of our story, the last person to wield the power of the Triforce unified the warring tribes of the land into one principality; Hyrule. This is not your average divide-and-conquer legend, this is something far more incredible; a conquer and unification. The legend of an absolute badass. The legend of Boudicca and King Arthur and Alexander the Great and William the Conqueror all rolled into one. This is the in-world Legend of Zelda.

That’s right, the first monarch of Hyrule was a Queen named Zelda (Breath of Wild fans: I consciously chose not to make this character the Goddess Hylia for the sake of simplicity). Zelda brought decisive peace to the land by being unquestionably awesome, ending an ancient war between the country’s great races. Together, the leaders of these once-warring tribes - the Gorons, the Zorras, the Ritos, Sheikah, Gerudo and the Hylians - worked with Zelda to capture the titanic, elemental monstrosities and demons they each summoned to fight on their behalf and contain them in purpose-built stone enclosures. That’s right. Temples. Dungeons. You get the idea.

Flash forward two thousand years and this awesome history is relegated to the status of myth. Yes, the temples still stand, but they are decrepit and overrun with flora and fauna.

These days the ancient Zelda’s direct descendent, Daphnes Nohansen Hyrule, sits upon the throne. A wise and just ruler who, in his youth, fought bravely to quash an uprising from the worshippers of Din the Destroyer, and successfully restored his subjects rights to religious freedoms without threat of persecution. The three major religions worship alongside each other in peace once again.

But, in recent years, the king has grown old and feeble.

OK that’s all the history stuff out of the way so we can get on with the episodes! It’s exciting isn’t it? I’m excited! Are you excited? IT’S EXCITING!

Episode 1: The Phantom Menace I’m Just Kidding That’s Not The Title Of The Episode

FADE IN on a beautiful white ship (10 history points if you get this reference) as it sails the night-time waters of the Great Bay of Hyrule Channel. There’s no moon so it’s particularly dark, and the wind is so calm the sailors have taken to the oars.

The ship is like an island of light and life in the vast, dark nothingness - think of those wide night-time shots in James Cameron’s Titanic. But this is more jovial. The hundred or so passengers and crew sing and whoop and holler by the light of the ship’s candles. Everyone’s clearly having a good, wine-fuelled time. We catch a glimpse of a young / strong / handsome / regal looking dude, singled out by his unusual pensiveness in the face of all this merriment. This is Daltus, son of King Daphnes and heir to the throne of Hyrule.

CREEEAAAKKKKK what the hell was that? For a moment, the party is silenced…..

Nothing. Phew. The singing soon continues… But for us the soundtrack subtly clues us into a feeling of unease.

We zoom out to a wide-shot far enough away that the ship looks like a toy and the noise of the passengers is reduced to nothing. From here we can just about make out the coast, more than a few miles away - too far to swim - and a great stone temple, half submerged, wholly forgotten.

SUDDENLY - punching out from the black depths without warning, a great tentacle looms up over the ship. The party is thrown into silence for a beat before screams and panic erupt like an explosion.

It’s absolute pandemonium on board as a second tentacle rips into the sky on the other side of the ship. Daltus, cool as a cucumber, pulls out his sword. But what can he do? Nothing. We all know what’s coming.

The tentacles crash down onto the deck, each with the weight of a London bus, cleaving the splintered ship in half.

We get a glimpse of the great leviathan as it pulls the crumpling ship down under the newly formed waves. For you die-hard fans, this is GYORG.

CUT TO a young princess holding court in her father’s throne room, hearing the plights of the townsfolk she has granted an audience to.

Yea you guessed it, this is Zelda, and she’s clearly a smart cookie and is fair and respectful to the townsfolk she speaks with. At her right hand is her guardian and teacher, the Aristotle to her Alexander the Great, Impa. A middle-aged Sheikah woman.

By the sunlight streaming through the stained glass windows (which, by the way, tell the story of the ancient Zelda (an Easter egg, not obvious)) we know it’s the following day.

In comes this dishevelled old dude who urgently recounts the story of a sunken ship… Our sunken ship! But wait, no, his account is wrong. He says Daltus supplied the crew with drink, that doesn’t sound right. Woah woah, what’s he saying now? The ship’s port-side hit a submerged rock because the crew was drunk? That’s not at all what happened! He is the only survivor he says, well… that part could be true.

An emotional Zelda beseeches the man “What happened to Lord this and that? did he survive?” The old man shakes his head. “What of lady blah blah?” he shakes his head. She’s building up the courage to ask the question. It’s clear from her foggy eyes, she knows the answer. “…My brother?” HE SHAKE HE DAMN HEAD.

Devastation. Stoic, suppressed, sure, but devastation nonetheless. She takes a moment to swallow her grief.

“What of Lord Ganondorf?” WELL, says the man, some disembarked before the ship set sail, not confident of the drunken crew’s ability to sail. Ganondorf among them.

Oh SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!

Boom. Next scene. We’re getting rural now. We are nowhere near the regal Hyrule castle, this is a luscious woodland on the other side of the kingdom.

We’re looking at a badass silhouette of a heroic figure, mounted on horseback, with a sword in one (LEFT) hand and a shield in the other. The horse takes a few steps forward into the daylight streaming in through the canopy… not so badass. Wooden sword, toy shield. This is not much more than a kid. Maybe 16 or 17.

BUT SUDDENLY the horse bolts, the kid hollas a very Link-like battle cry as he jumps off the horse and descends upon what can only be described as scarecrows, crudely mocked up to look like Moblins.

He batters them in a fun-to-watch but technically unskilled brawl, slipping over here and there. This is not a hero. This is a kid. This is a dreamer. This is, you guessed it, Link.

He’s interrupted / embarrassed by his uncle, Alfon, and reprimanded for not getting on with his chores. We see a glimpse of farm-life and, although Link clearly loves and respects his uncle, we know for a fact Link would rather be out there adventuring. This is Luke Skywalker in the Act I of A New Hope.

We also meet Malon, a milkmaid with whom Link has an adorkable relationship. She fires seeds at him from a homemade slingshot in the same way kids pull pigtails on playgrounds. It’s cute.

Back in Hyrule town Impa is sleuthing. She doesn’t buy the old man’s tale because she’s SMART as HELL and follows him using her Sheikah skills as he goes about his business through our Flea-Bottom-equivalent. He goes to a dive-bar inn, a dingy brothel… gross but, as of yet, nothing out of the ordinary for a creepy old dude.

But then, strangely, he slips into an abandoned house, looking over his shoulder more times than an honest man would. Impa follows. We witness him in conversation with a shadowy figure with a woman’s voice, he asks for payment - presumably in return for lying about Daltus’ ship - and holds out his hand in expectation. Schwing. He drops to the floor. We’ve just witnessed this guy’s sudden and brutal execution at the hands of the shadowy figure, who is revealed to be… a Gerudo assassin (!!!) ostensibly tying up some loose ends. I promise I won’t use the word ‘ostensibly’ again.

Now we get some real action. The Gerudo bails and Impa launches into full-on chase mode. They duck and dive across rooftops. They fight in the streets. It’s clear that Gerudos aren’t as skilled as the Sheikah in this kind of ninja acrobatics. In her prime, Impa would own this fight, but the Gerudo assassin is younger and fitter, evening up the odds.

Before you ask, no this is not a no-stakes CGI extravaganza like a Daniel Craig Bondtage (just invented this word, it means Bond montage) or the Assassin’s Creed movie. This is real. It feels real. When they jump down off even 6 foot walls, it hurts. Remember, Impa is a middle-aged woman.

What I’m saying is: it’s a thrilling, evenly matched fight which ends when Impa seizes an opportunity to dump tackle the sucker. The race is over. The interrogation is ON!

Meanwhile, in the castle the aging King is sitting top-table, with Zelda at his right hand in a privy council meeting. All of the major races are represented around the table.

Daphnes is looking frail. He’s clearly too weak to be out of bed, but he’s found the strength from the loss of his son and the urgency of the situation.

In light of recent events, he’s attempting to secure Zelda as successor to the throne. The Gerudo representative vehemently protests the idea of a woman on the throne, demanding that “your cousin, Ganondorf, is next in line.” Plot. Thickened.

As you might expect, this goes down about as well as a piss flavoured milkshake, especially with Darunia, the Goron representative. Zelda makes an incredible, impassioned speech, invoking the story of her ancestor and damn she’s good. She’s an orator on Henry V’s level. She wins over passionate Darunia and the cold, logical, but ultimately nice old Rito dude.

But despite having the loyalists round the table convinced, ultimately, the consensus is an unmarried woman, even a woman descended from the great Zelda of old, cannot inherit the throne. Out-fucking-rageous.

Just as we’re feeling that all is lost and Ganondorf will inherit the throne, Impa BURSTS into the room - thank GOD! She’s badly beaten and bloody, but it doesn’t slow her down. She has proof of a plot against the crown, Daltus was murdered… by Ganondorf! Dun dun DUN!

Voices are raised around the table, shit is hitting the fan and emotions are running high. Impa tells the story of Daltus’ voyage as we saw it only with one added detail - forces under the command of Ganondorf intentionally released a great beast of old into the bay. Everyone is stunned. It’s hard to believe. The beasts… from the stories? They’re real? They’re still alive after two thousand years? WHAT?!

When the question of cross examining the assassin inevitably arises, however, Impa sheepishly admits that she’s dead. Oops. The Gerudo rep feigns offense and bones the fuck outta there. No one really knows whether to believe this or not, but Darunia is convinced.

Back at the farm we catch up with Link after his chores are all done. He’s back in his makeshift training area, this time under the supervision of Uncle Alfon who’s equipped with a real sword and Hylian shield. OK so maybe he isn’t the helpless Uncle Owen Skywalker of this story (is that his last name? Is Uncle Owen Anakin’s brother or Padme’s? Don’t look that up, it’s not important. Keep reading.)

It’s apparent that, after witnessing the woeful display of swordsmanship earlier in the day, Alfon has finally acquiesced to Link’s repeated requests for training. And guess what? He is skilled. And we get to watch him FLEX in an exciting training sequence.

Malon, just like us, is spending her free time watching this, firing the occasional seed at our hero to distract him from the spar at inopportune moments.

This really is worlds away from the capital.

In Hyrule, ya boy Ganondorf and his followers make a play for the throne, big style. He’s obviously caught wind of the talk at the privy council, a la the Gerudo rep who left in a huff, so he’s making a move less subtle than he would have liked but he’s still keeping it within the confines of the castle. He doesn’t yet have the forces to fight an all-out war.

This is the first time we see Ganondorf on screen and let me tell you, it’s frightening. He’s a mountain of a man / Gerudo - the absolute personification of intimidating. And his coup is bloody. Everyone either dies or submits. The king is slain. It doesn’t seem like anyone has made it out the castle alive, as is Ganondorf��s plan.

We find out Ganondorf’s motivations and the source of his followers undying devotion to him; religion. The worshippers of Din the Destroyer were apparently unhappy with the outcome of the recent civil war, which, as we know, granted all three major religions - worshippers of Din, Nayru and Farore - the freedom to do so. The Gerudo’s, led by Ganondorf, have been drawing plans against the crown for a generation. But we get the sense this is just a vehicle for him, his true motivation is pure, unbridled lust for power.

Ganondorf makes it clear that he intends to force Zelda to marry him to consolidate his rule. Impa defends her with all her might but is bested by him and tossed aside, presumed dead. The mere fact that Zelda wasn’t immediately down to clown is enough to send Ganondorf into brutal rage and he slaughters the kindly Rito man from the privy council. Zelda is imprisoned as the new regime takes hold.

Daaaaaamn son.

Back on the farm. Rumour of the coup has already got around, but no one much cares except for those who remember the civil war, and yea that includes captain badass Uncle Alfon.

A traveller arrives, an old war buddy of Alfon’s. He speaks of a rebellion led by the Goron, Darunia. He must’ve made it out of the castle alive! Alfon is totally up for knocking some heads and packs up his shit, takes the sword and shield and the horse Link was riding when we were first introduced to him. This is an emotional moment. Link is desperate to join but Alfon shoots him down, he is, after all, only a kid. A kid who sucks at fighting. Gotta commend him for his bravery though.

Alfon goes to war once again, entrusting the farm to Link and Malon.

Some time later, at the castle, Ganondorf is out quashing the uprising. We follow a mysterious figure as he, or she, makes her way through the castle ninja-Sheikah-style, dragging a limp body along for the ride. Fans of the series will recognise this character from their clothing. This is Sheik. And Sheik is rad.

Sheik fucks up some guards and escapes the castle in a stealthy-cool sequence leading all the way out to Hyrule field, where he witnesses Ganondorf return victorious with prisoners in tow - including Darunia and Uncle Alfon.

Ganondorf orders the prisoners be taken to a concentration camp at Kakariko Village, and Darunia be sealed “in the mountain”. As the prisoner convoy leaves, Sheik and her limp friend surreptitiously hitch a ride.

Meanwhile, at the farm, there are clearly wide-ranging consequences as a result of the coup. Taxes have been raised. Goods are seized by Ganondorf’s marauding forces. Shit’s bad son.

Link is doing his chores half heartedly, head clearly stuck on the fact he’s not heard anything of his uncle’s rebellion. He thinks about setting out to find Alfon but Malon talks him down.

All of a sudden, a ripple of shock / horror rips through the little rural community they’re within. The traveller - Alfon’s war buddy - has returned, on Alfon’s horse. Everyone who looks upon him is stunned. He looks like shit.

He shares the fate of the rebellion with Link, including that they have been taken to the concentration camp at Kakariko Village, and abruptly dies of his wounds.

That’s it. Link’s mind is made up. He packs a bag with food, grabs his wooden sword a shield and gets ready to set off on an epic quest.

Just before he leaves, Malon, tears in her eyes, tries one last time to beg him to stay. But she sees there’s no use in it. She tosses him her slingshot.

“It’s dangerous to go alone. Take this.”

FADE OUT

DAAAAAMN son.

If you’ve stuck it out this far, good work. Thank you. I appreciate your attention.

Honestly, I’m amazed you made it past the first paragraph, you know, the one about the shit that’s in my pants.

Let’s keep going. And sorry for bringing up my shitty pants again.

Episode 2: Attack of the Clones ok I guess we’re sticking with this Star Wars thing, sorry, I hate it too

Link travels through the dangerous open land of Hyrule in the direction of Kakariko village but is pretty much immediately discovered by Ganondorf’s (human) marauding forces. He draws his wooden shield and they are immediately destroyed by the biggest, meanest marauder in the gang. They erupt in laughter. He draws his slingshot. The marauders absolutely crack up, they can’t breathe, who is this kid? Link fires, straight up blinding the grizzly one.

Not so funny anymore.

Link is overpowered and bundled into a mobile-cell with a young Goron, Darbus, and a sheikah child named Granté. Crucial allies going forward obviously.

Anyway, as prisoners, guess where they’re going? That’s right, the concentration camp at Kakariko village – exactly where we wanted to go. Lucky…. Kind of.

We arrive at Kakariko, a village on the foot of Death Mountain, and it’s like nothing we’ve seen yet. It’s a totally ransacked settlement, entirely overtaken by Ganondorf’s forces a la Tywin Lannister’s occupation of Harrenhal. But it’s not just a prison, it’s clearly the base of operations for some kind of mining / weapon smelting operation with armed workers travelling up and down Death Mountain trail.

Link learns the hard way that there’s consequences to blinding people that are bigger than you and is beaten, bloodied and bruised. He’s about to give up hope as he is thrown into a squalid little cell, overfull with other prisoners. One of whom is ALFON! WE LOVE THAT GUY! HELL YEAH!

But Alfon has been badly injured and in such disgusting conditions, without any form of medical treatment, his wound has become infected. It’s pretty clear this dude is gonna die, and boy is it emotional. Link’s crying, you’re crying, I’m crying. There’s not a dry eye in the house. Or even outside the house.

With his dying words, Alfon manages to instill in Link a powerful need to avenge him and an immense sense of duty to ‘save Princess Zelda’. Alfon urges Link to escape and raise another rebellion. To do so, he is told, he will need Darunia’s support.

With renewed enthusiasm, Link makes an attempt at escape. And, you know what? He’s actually successful, making it all the way to the armoury, where he grabs his slingshot and leaves his wooden sword and shield in favour of his uncle’s steel equivalent. Oh shit, my boy EQUIPPED.

Covert as hell, he saves Darbus and Granté and together they make a break for the gates leading to the Death Mountain trail. Meanwhile, in the darkness and unnoticed by our heroes, shadowy figures silently take out guards here and there.

The gang is on the home straight now, they’re about to make a break for it when suddenly they spot guards up ahead. Slowly and quietly they try to pass them without being noticed when a chicken trots up and pecks Link’s boot. He tries to wordlessly shoo it away, but it keeps pecking. In a moment of frustration, he boots it one.

Bad idea.

Scores of chickens swoop in and go nuts attacking Link, drawing the attention of the guards. The chickens flutter off and the real fight is on. This time, equipped with a real sword and shield, Link is actually pretty effective, as are Granté and Darbus (who is literally a walking rock). You’d have thought they just might win if it weren’t for the 15 extra guards joining the fray. OH SHIT!

Just as it seems all is lost, the guards drop dead. What the hell? The shadowy figures emerge and are revealed to be… a Sheikah clan led by SHEIK and IMPA!

The prisoners are liberated and everyone rejoices. Big Act III party and debrief. You get the idea.

FADE OUT

Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith I guess

Some days later, the Sheikah have set up something of a honey trap at Kakariko village, where marauders bring their prisoners only to be ambushed by the liberated milita. They are running a pretty tight ship and have blocked passage to Death Mountain.

It’s immediately apparent that the Sheikah in charge - i.e. Impa and Sheik - do not think much of Link.

Fortunately, Granté is able to convince them to grant him and Darbus passage through to Death Mountain trail. Granté elects to stay behind for the time being to help this little resistance movement and be with his people. Goodbye Granté, it’s been nice.

Our B story in this ep splits off here. After Link and Darbus leave, we follow Sheik, who is revealed to be Zelda in disguise. As she deftly interrogates Ganondorf’s forces, she uncovers some stake-raising info about a prophecy Ganondorf is trying to fulfil that sees her head off in the direction of Dragon Roost, homeland of the Rito. But while she’s gone, the Sheikah lose control of the village and there’s a big ol’ brawl on. This is weaved in throughout the episode; I’ve just summarised here for time.

Back to the A story. The Death Mountain trail is testing. It’s increasingly steep. The paths are old and treacherous. They pass a lot of huge boulders. They encounter some of Ganondorf’s forces who have been trapped up the mountain since the Sheikah revolt.

They eventually make it to the entrance of one of the ancient temples but It’s blocked by a big – and I mean big rock – that is just impossible to move. I know what you’re thinking, If only Link had some magic gauntlets… well HE DOESN’T FOLKS. This is insurmountable. He’s not going to surmount this one. Because it’s insurmountable.

As night falls, the two dejected friends set up camp and we get to know our characters a little better as they share stories around a campfire. Time for a LIGHT touch of exposition which will be worked in really well:

Darbus explains that Gorons, like the Gerudo, worship the fire-god, Din, but they were happy to live in peace with the worshippers of Nayru and Farore. This is why Darunia took Ganondorf’s seizing-of-the-throne-on-religious-grounds so personally.

We also find out that Goron’s are really hard to kill, they are rocks after all, and this is why Ganondorf has elected to lock Darunia away instead of doing the obvious thing. But this fact is weird because, there’s almost no Gorons left, they’re kind of an endangered species.

While Darbus is telling a particularly demonstrative story, dramatised by the long shadows cast by the torch he hold in his hand, he accidentally holds the fire too close to the big rock. Not normally an issue, but this time…

THE BIG ROCK WAKES UP YO. IT’S A GIANT GORON! HELL YEAH! OH WAIT, shit, he’s a bit grumpy about being woken up / burnt on the ass cheek. Cue a massive, awesome stomp and dodge sequence - well Link dodges, Dalbus gets stomped right into the ground. It’s cool and funny and we’ve never seen anything like it on TV before.

Anyway, once the giant goron has properly woken up, we find out his name is Daruk and he’s actually a nice guy. He’s been asleep since not much after the first age (near the time of the original Zelda) and he’s pretty mad to hear about Ganondorf and Darunia etc. and the thought that he might have been picked up and moved to block the entrance is particularly offensive to him.

He let’s them pass and goes on his own quest to wake up his brothers - all the boulders lying around the place.

FADE OUT

OK folks we’re moving onto much shorter outlines from here on out, should be quicker to get through. Hope you can stick with me!

Episode 4: A New Hope

A Story - the fire temple: Link and Darbus face a road of trials in the fire temple as they try to find and recover Darunia. They discover a large boulder and Link does everything he can to wake it up, including whispering sweet things to it. But it turns out to be just a boulder. Darbus calls him a racist. They eventually find Darunia, who is crushed by his recent defeat and doesn’t believe he can raise the forces to take on Ganondorf. Together they fight a giant Dodongo, one of the titanic beasts of old. It’s extremely cool and difficult but they somehow pull it off. They emerge victorious to find Daruk has raised something of an army of Gorons. Game on.

B Story - Her name was Rito and she dances in the sand: Zelda makes her way to Dragon Roost which, by the way, is like, another mountain, slightly smaller and different in shape to Death Mountain, and with a giant egg on top of it. She’s there to parley with the Rito Queen, Medli - who is only about 10 years old - about being granted access to their records (Rito are like, natural librarians) to learn more about this whole prophecy thing. But Medli is a capricious little brat who’s pretty annoyed about her father, the kindly old Rito dude, being killed in Zelda’s presence and blames her for it.

C Story - Ganondorf’s diary: Some political-intrigue here as the new administration makes plans to unify the land under Ganondorf. We get an insight into Ganondorf’s plan. Something about the Triforce, a shadow realm, and something about him being a vessel for something something, I think he said… Ganon.

Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back yep we’re still doing this star wars thing

A Story - off to see the sea: Link and the Goron army head down to Kakariko and CRUSH the revolt of Ganondorf’s forces, saving Impa and the rest of the Sheikah. They hatch a plan to raise armies all over the land to rebell against Ganondorf. The Gorons stay behind to build their numbers and strength in that area of the map. Link visits Alfon in the slightly-over-flowing Kakariko graveyard before setting off in the direction of the Great Bay with Impa where they find all Zorra-hands are on deck trying to deal with the GYORG situation.

B Story - Des-pa-Rito: Zelda is charged with the murder of the Rito king and fights extremely effectively in a trial-by-combat. By winning, she gains the respect of Medli and is granted access to their records. Zelda discovers a prophecy about GANON, an other-worldy beast of great power and the enemy of the Zelda of old. She suspects Ganondorf plans to summon him into our realm and she’s dead set on stopping him. She also learns of the Master Sword, the only worldly sword that can damage the beast and which once belonged to her ancestor. It was last left in a sacred temple what is now an overgrown ancient woodland.

C Story - Going Ganon: In a sick, bloody ritual, like the dead body parts of wildlings in ep 1 of GoT, Ganondorf unseals Ganon’s ethereal prison, and is possessed by it, granting him absolute knowledge of the Triforce and how to attain it.

Episode 6: Return of the Jedi

A Story - water temple: Impa intuitively believes there’s something in the temple that can be used to restrain GYORG and sends Link in after it. The whole place is booby-trapped to hell because, you know, you’re not supposed to go in there.

B Story - More like burRito: Zelda presents her findings to Medli but, although she has forgiven Zelda, she refuses to aid in the upcoming war against Ganondorf. Zelda sends a messenger bird back to where she thinks Impa is - Kakariko - and heads off in the direction of the ancient woodland. Before she can get there, she is accosted by a band of Gerudos. They don’t recognise her in her Sheik gear so she pretends to join them and it works for a while, but, right at the end of the ep, her secret is discovered. Cliffhanger.

C Story - a mission from a god: Ganondorf / Ganon now knows he needs to unite with Zelda and Link to seal the deal and take control of the Triforce.

Episode 7: The (Tri)Force Awakens see what I did there

A Story - gone fishing: Impa’s hunch was right and Link is successful in retrieving an ancient, gigantic trawling net. Together they engage GYORG and ultimately recapture it.

B Story - Getting Gerdoed: Zelda makes a break for the ancient woodlands. She fights, runs, fights s’more and is ultimately captured by the Gerudos before she can find the sword. She is marched to Hyrule castle.

C Story - an army and a leggy: Ganon’s machinations get interrupted when he gets wind of a large Goron army at Kakariko. His own forces have grown in strength and number by now so he’s not too worried. They march.

Episode 8: The Last Jedi (we’re running low on ep titles)

A Story - team building: With GYORG back in his play pen, Impa and Link attempt to secure the Zorra’s support in the upcoming war with Ganondorf.

B Story - home sweet home: Zelda is returned to Hyrule castle and locked up a bit tighter than last time.

C Story - war boys: Ganon’s forces march to Kakariko en masse, ready to break necks and cash cheques, when Ganon receives a message that Zelda is captured. He leaves the army and heads back to the castle.

Episode 9: Episode IX yea I know but this is genuinely the working title of it though

A Story - the master sword: Link and Impa set off to Kakariko, arriving as Ganondorf’s forces get there. The war is about to begin when Impa receives Zelda’s message which has been waiting for her there since two episodes ago. She learns about the prophecy and sends Link to the ancient woodlands to find the Master Sword. In the woodlands, Link is accosted by a Yoda-on-Degoba-level-annoying Skullkid. The SkullKid is mischievous and annoying but ultimately leads Link to the Master Sword.

B Story - the smell of napalm in the morning: The war kicks off. Filmed like the Battle of the Bastards but following Link’s various allies from throughout the season. Even with their rock-hard bods, the Gorons are being overpowered. But then the Zorras arrive and it evens out the odds.

C Story - creepy cousin: Ganon and Zelda have an intense chat. He reveals his plans, but not in a traditional James Bond villain way. In a cool and also sensical way. LIGHT exposition.

Episode 10: The Force Shits its Pants I made this title up but it’s what the tenth star wars film should be called imo

A Story - Tri forced: Link arrives. This is the first time he gets to be face-to-face with Ganondorf and even Zelda out of her Sheik costume. Zelda is like “YOU? You’re the hero Ganondorf’s been going on about? The dumbass from Kakariko?” Link is like “Well… excuse me, princess.” The fight starts and Link is battered. He immediately loses. Of course he does. He’s not even that good at fighting. Ganondorf takes possession of the Triforce and his physical form takes that of Ganon’s. A shockwave explodes out from the castle, terraforming the world into the Dark Realm (think: the Upside Down from Stranger Things)…

B Story - the big fight: The Goron, Zorra, Sheikah alliance is winning when a wave of darkness envelopes them. Marauders turn into moblins like a werewolf in the full moon, Gerudo transform into flying beasts. The air support in particular gives the forces of evil an edge and the balance sways yet again… fuck.

A Story: Link refuses to stop fighting, even though Ganondorf has become the great beast that is Ganon. But he’s still getting his ass handed to him.

B Story: The Rito arrive and even up the odds again.

A Story: Zelda distracts Ganon and Link is able to drive the sword into his mouth and win. Ganondorf dies, the Dark Realm recedes back into itself taking Ganon with it.

Epilogue: Order is restored. Zelda becomes queen. Race relations are at an all time high. Link returns home to Malon. Big party.

Post credit sequence: In the woodland, the Skullkid accosts another traveller in the same way he accosted Link. But this traveller is… a creepy mask salesman.

FADE OUT!

Phew, wow. That’s a wrap folks. Well done. If you got this far, seriously, thank you. Now follow me on twitter.

Mike xxx

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