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#okay if i still can’t walk properly in another week i’m showing up at a walk in or somewhere and refusing to leave til someone looks at me
coco-loco-nut · 2 months
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The Hard Launch
pairing: george russelll x reader
summary: what’s the point of dating a model if you can’t show her off?
a/n: i am so so sorry it took this long to fulfill the request. i’ve been working around 60 hours a week between two jobs so it hasn’t left much time for anything else :(
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You watched qualifying from the Paddock Club with your mom. Being the daughter of a supermodel, and a supermodel yourself, brought that perk, and a reason to visit your boyfriend at his job.
“Yes, Georgie! He did it!” You gasp, grasping your mom’s arm in excitement.
“Should we go visit Mercedes then?” She asks with happy smile. You have had a few failed high profile relationships before, and your mom can tell how seriously you are taking this one. It’s different, George is everything to you, and he knows the bad PR you get for being a nepo baby already, so he suggested you keep the relationship to yourself for a while.
“Y/n! Over here,” some photographer yells as you walk with your mom. You ignore the calls for you to look at cameras as you make your way into the paddock. You waited for the mandatory media to be over, talking with other celebrity guests.
As soon as you step into the Mercedes motorhome, you are enveloped in a pair of arms, holding you close. You are happy your mom chose to explore the paddock, leaving you a bit of privacy.
“Hi Georgie,” your grin is hidden in his shoulder as you hug him tightly. “I’m so proud of you, you drove so well.”
“Be ready for me to pick you up at 7, we are going to dinner,” George says and you pull back a bit in shock, the wide smile still on your face.
“Are you serious? Of course, anything for my pole sitter,” you are elated at the idea of going on a public date with him.
“It’s about time I show off my fabulous girl. I have to go into a team meeting, but be ready, okay?” George cups you face, leaning in for a quick kiss.
“I can’t wait. Have fun in your meeting,” you lean in for another kiss before leaving the motorhome. You eventually find your mom talking to Geri outside of Red Bull.
“Did you have fun?” She gives you an amused look as you approach.
“We are going for dinner tonight to celebrate,” you look a little lovestruck, utterly enamored by George.
“That’s a big step, congratulations,” Geri says, knowing what a simple dinner means for high profile relationships.
“Thank you,” your grin has barely left your face since George got pole.
The time feels like it is dragging as you pick out the perfect outfit, and touch up your hair and makeup. The waiting is the worst, you are so excited, like it’s a first date. In a way, it is a first date.
You rush down the stairs of your London home as the doorbell rings, opening the door to George holding flowers.
“You look gorgeous,” he smiles, leaning in to kiss your cheek as you take the flowers.
“You clean up quite well too,” George follows you inside as you search for a vase to put them in.
Soon enough, George is handing his keys to a valet and offering his hand to you as you step out of his car.
“This feels nice,” you squeeze his hand, looking up at him with a smile.
“It’s nice to be able to properly show you off. Let everyone know how much I love you,” he leans down and presses a quick kiss to your lips.
“You are making a strong case for more celebrations after dinner,” you hum, walking with him to your table. Against the window, softly lit by candles and the low restaurant lighting, it’s the perfect romantic setting.
“Don’t tempt me to rush this,” George blushes a little. Both of you ignore the people on the other side of the window, surely taking pictures to sell to tabloids and gossip news.
A few minutes later, George’s phone starts buzzing with text messages. He choses to ignore it, but his inbox is blowing up.
“Check it, it’s not going to ruin the date,” you reassure him as he turns over the phone.
“Someone leaked photos of us, the guys are asking if it’s true we are dating,” George says with a small smile, amused at the reactions.
“Go ahead, tell them how long you’ve been in love with me,” you laugh as he shows you some of the texts, most from Alex.
“One year with the prettiest girl,” he looks at you lovingly, still making your heart flutter.
“A smooth talker and pole sitter? How did I get so lucky,” you reach across the table to hold his hand.
“I don’t know. Right place, right time, I guess,” George teases before pulling out his phone and snapping a picture of you.
“What was that for?” you ask curiously, noting the smile tugging at his lips.
“Just making sure everyone knows how much I love you,” he says before putting his phone back into his pocket.
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georgerussell63: p1 for one year with the most beautiful girl in the world ❤️ @y/username
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beforeimdeceased · 1 year
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WELCOME TO THE PARTY — ABBY ANDERSON ༄₊🫧➳
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tlou2 is based on the israeli occupation of palestine, how you can help
pairing: ex!abby x reader
synopsis: you try to escape the thoughts of your ex with a little partying and she shows up to ruin it all.
content: oral (r!receiving)
author’s note: thank u so much for 1.2k i love this little community we’ve got on here! you guys make me so happy i can’t thank you enough <3
“I can’t even enjoy this stupid fucking party, Oh my god!”
You were currently spiraling in a far corner of the bustling house. Drink in hand with a scowl on your face. You take a sip of the liquid, letting it slide down your throat and settle into your stomach. You were waiting for the buzz to kick in and ease your nerves.
You’d just seen Abby, your ex, prancing in with another girl on her arm. A very pretty and smiley girl who you’d never seen before. You were wondering how they’d met and what they’d talked about when Dina came over to snap you out of your thoughts.
“You’re not gonna let her ruin your fun, right?” She gently rubs your arm and you’re so touch starved the gesture nearly makes you cry. It’s been a week since you’d parted ways with the blonde, and the lack of her presence was weighing down on you. You’d missed her smile, her kind eyes, and the way she always knew how to make you laugh.
But she wasn’t perfect. Neither were you, you couldn’t be. Tension grew in the relationship. You went from wanting to be around each other all the time, to avoiding each other at all costs. If you saw her post that she was at the gym, you were making an illegal u-turn in the middle of the road to avoid seeing her. That wasn’t a relationship, and it had to end.
Funny how you were still avoiding her.
“Dina I can’t dance, I’m gonna be sick.” You hold your stomach, tugging against Dina’s grip on your arm. She looks at you empathetically, placing a kiss on the back of your hand. “Babe, Are you going to stop functioning properly because of her? Forever?”
Before you can respond, commotion ensues. Ellie can be heard cursing following the sound of glass breaking and a crash. “Okay, hold on. I’ve gotta stitch up my girlfriend.” She rolls her eyes before rushing into the direction of the noise. A crowd of people swallow her, keeping you from following her.
You decide you need to just wash your face off in the bathroom, and get your ass out there. Abby is just another girl that got away. She’s clearly moved on, so why can’t you? You weren’t going to let her sour your night. Plus, Dina was your ride and you had to wait for her to fix Ellie up.
You can’t get the bathroom downstairs open, and after asking about 7 intoxicated people you find safety in the basement. There everyone was either high, tripping, or both. More importantly, they were not paying attention to who was going into the bathroom in the far left corner.
It was big, which was unsurprising considering how large the basement and the house was itself. Incredibly clean and it looked like the perfect hideout spot. You decided you’d stay in there scrolling through your phone until Dina sent her usual “where r u?” text.
The familiar sound of the ping on your phone interrupts you mindlessly moving your thumb. Out of the corner of your eye you catch the first letter of the sender, and nearly throw your phone.
Abby ❌: Where’d you run off to?
Was that meant for you? Did you want to find out? You stare at the message letting your eyes unfocus. Biting your lip you ready yourself to respond, but you’re stopped by the three dots indicating she’s typing.
Abby ❌: You in the basement?
You wish the window in there was bigger, because it would’ve made escaping a lot easier. Instead of responding, you look for the easiest solution to your new found problem, which happened to be the door. You open it, and a presently surprised Abby is on the other end smiling at you.
“Oh, you opened it for me?” You walk back as she walks in and watch as she closes and locks the door. “You’re still so sweet.”
“Where’s your friend?” You ask, arms crossed. It was upsetting you that you were so jealous, but it made sense. The end of your relationship was rocky, but you’d still only broken up a week ago. The wound was fresh, and she was poking her fingers in it.
“I don’t know, probably making out with someone upstairs.”
Realization hits you and you’d never admit it but you felt relief. Abby can read you though, she knows you better than anyone. A wide smile spread on her stupid cocky face.
“Were you jealous?” She tilts her head a bit and it makes you bite the inside of your cheek. She’d always tilt her head while she was deep inside of you. Chuckle and ask “You like that?” As if you could even fucking answer with how hard she was fucking you. The memory sends a shiver through your entire body, and it delays your response. She takes note of that as well and your body language. Arms crossing and uncrossing while her eyes trailed up and down your body.
She was looking at you like she was struggling to contain herself. You could almost see her thoughts projected over her head. “I miss you. I miss fucking you.”
“Would it be wrong for me to be jealous?” You back up towards the sink, catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. Another memory of her with her hand over your mouth, pounding into you mercilessly, flooded your mind. She takes note of this before moving closer to you.
Her body is close enough that if you reached out, you would be touching her freckle speckled skin. You fear that if you don’t lean into her, you’ll tip over. That you’ll fall splat on the cold bathroom tile. That you’ll sink into the ground and disappear, if you don’t touch her right fucking now.
“I guess not.” She leans over towards you, and you think she’s moving in to wrap you in a hug, but she’s just pushing past to look in the mirror. She notices how your face falls at her movements, and turns to look at you.
“Someone has to be honest here. Want me to start?”
No was at the tip of your tongue before her lips crashed into yours. She cups your face and you almost don’t notice her backing you up against the sink. Your back hits the edge of it, causing it to arch and your head to lean back. Abby takes the opening, latching her lips onto your jaw and then your neck.
“I fucking hate you so much right now.” You close your eyes, body contradicting your words. You lean into her strong and firm arms. Pulling your body into hers. “I hate how I couldn’t go a week without you.” Is breathless and desperate as it leaves your tongue.
She’s on her knees now, positioned in between your legs. She struggles to remain composed enough to tease you. Lustrous desire causing her mouth to salivate. You help her get your pants off, kicking them to the side, before her fingers loop into the band of your underwear. “It wasn’t easy for me either.” She pulls them down in a frenzy. “I missed the way you moaned my name.”
She latches her tongue to your heat, swirling a harsh circle against your sensitive bud. You would’ve lost your balance if she wasn’t holding your legs open and up with her arms. fingers on the inner corners of your cunt, spreading you wide for her. There was no mercy, and no slowing down. Her mission was to make you see stars.
“Fuck.” Is all you can let out and she hums against you in agreement. The vibration sending a wave of pleasure straight to your core. You tangle your hands in her hair, grappling at it to keep her right where you needed her.
And she never fails to deliver. Tongue buried into your walls while her nose swipes against your clit. You bite back a moan which causes her to move her hand and squeeze your ass, pushing the sound out of you. It’s clear and melodic, music to her ears. If anyone happened to walk in she wouldn’t want to stop. She wanted to hear more from you. She needed to.
You can barely hold back your orgasm. With the way she has you spread completely open for her, entire face buried into you moaning against your cunt. You let the wave rush over you, eyes rolling back into your head as her name rolls off your tongue.
You shake a bit, overwhelmed from the high and her face still buried between your legs. Now is when you feel a bit disappointed in yourself. At how hard it was to stay away, how easy it was to give into her, and how you’re going to have to explain this to Dina.
Abby kisses up and down your inner legs, catching all of your juices on her tongue. It feels so good before you hear that damn ding from your phone once again. She reaches over to grab it out of your pants pocket and hand it to you. Speak of the devil.
Dina 💖: where r u?
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goosefruit · 10 months
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healing
vanessa shelly x reader
tw: smut, vanessa’s stab wound, fingering, squirting, bottom!vanessa, basically trying to navigate sex while she’s recovering from an injury
a/n: not my best work but i’ve had this idea in my head for so long so i wrote it
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‘Grateful’ didn’t even begin to describe how you felt when Vanessa was finally discharged from the hospital. 
She was there for roughly a month, half of which she spent in a coma. You stayed by her side the entire time, only leaving to use the bathroom and shower. There were times when you were afraid that she would never wake up again.
But now that she was back home, you took care of her like a princess. You brought her breakfast in bed every day (though she insisted she could walk, you knew it took her a great deal of effort), prepared baths for her, and sang to her when she had trouble sleeping.
Two weeks into this recovery process, you had woken up to her whimpering and writhing in the middle of the night.
Thinking she was having another nightmare about her father, you wrapped your arms around her, carefully avoiding her still-tender scar. However, upon getting a closer look, you realized that she was wide awake.
“Is the pain keeping you up?” You were already reaching towards the nightstand  where a bottle of painkillers was readily available. 
“No, baby,” she choked out. “It’s my pussy. It won’t stop throbbing, and I can’t fall asleep.”
If it weren’t for the agony in her voice, you swore that you would’ve made fun of her for acting like a bunny in heat.
“Have you…orgasmed at all in the past two weeks?” 
“I tried! So many times. But every time I got close, my abs would tense up, and then I’d be too busy worrying about the pain from my wound to finish.”
“Nessa, my love,” you positioned her so that she was sitting up with her back to your chest. One hand drifted down to her inner thigh, rubbing it through her pajama pants. “May I?”
She nodded eagerly as she wiped at a tear that had formed in the corner of her eye. The both of you had missed this so much, but you promised yourself that you would only make love to her again once she had completely recovered. 
Was this breaking that promise? You didn’t want to hurt her, but she seemed like she would be hurting more if you didn't start touching her soon. 
So you allowed your hand to move closer to her center as you captured her lips in a kiss. She gasped into your mouth when you ran a finger down her clothed slit. Her pussy was soaked to the point where you could easily feel the wetness through her pants. 
“Aw, my poor baby,” your middle finger traced the slightly protruding shape of her clit. “I’m going to make you feel so good, okay? You just try to relax every muscle in your pretty body.”
With your help, she slipped out of her pajamas so that she was completely naked, patiently waiting with her legs spread as you took off your own clothes. Since this was the first time you were having sex in a long while, you wanted to do it unclothed and properly.
You were on top of her now, trailing kisses up and down her body. Upon reaching her abdomen, you took the time to press your lips all around the bumpy red patch on her right side. She had been afraid to let you see the scar when she first woke from her coma, thinking it’d gross you out. Now, all you wanted to do was show her how perfect you thought every inch of her was. 
“Fuck, yeah…” she let out a blissful moan as you circled her entrance, dipping your fingers in just far enough to rub against her sweet spot. 
“Breathe, baby, breathe.” You whispered as you slid two fingers all the way in. Vanessa thrusted her hips up out of habit and cried out from the strain on her injury. 
“Shit!”
It ended up taking you several different positions until you found one that she was comfortable in. She laid on her back with her hips propped up on a pillow while your fingers pumped rhythmically in and out of her. 
“You tell me if it’s too much, my love.” Your free hand squeezed her breast, mouth leaving little marks on her neck.
“I’m gonna cum, Y/N. Fuck, it feels so good. I missed you so much.”
The hand that was playing with her nipples reached down to gently rest on her hip, reminding her to relax. At the same time, you went up to kiss her passionately. Her favourite way to cum was with your tongue in her mouth, so that was how you were going to do it tonight.
When you finally felt her walls tighten around your fingers, she whimpered as her muscles spasmed. The relief that she had been seeking all week long was so overwhelming that tears rushed to her eyes. 
“You okay? Did I hurt you?” You checked her face for any sign of pain. 
“No, no, don’t worry. I’m fine,” she panted, eyes closed as a few aftershocks washed over her. “But…I think I squirted.”
The wet patch on the pillow below her confirmed her statement. How cute.
“Give me a second, I’m gonna clean you up.”
You brought a damp washcloth from the washroom to wipe away the stickiness on her thighs. By the time you were done, she had already passed out on the bed.
Spooning her, you whispered sweet nothings in her ear. You told her how strong you thought she was, and how afraid you were of losing her. You must’ve whispered ‘I love you’ a hundred times by the time sleep overtook you.
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sportswriters · 4 months
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traveling to his hometown - j. swayman
pairing: jeremy swayman x reader | f | established relationship | wc: 943 | warnings: none
welcome post!
you came up with the idea of traveling to anchorage for a few days to take care of your well being. jeremy found it great since it’s break season so he had a free week to enjoy before going back to training. he’s always been connected to nature since he was a kid going to hike with his dad, so it was nice for him as well. jeremy picked you up in the morning to go to his parents house so you could all go to the airport together. his sister would arrive a day later with her husband and the baby.
“hello, beautiful. did you sleep well last night?” he greets you with a kiss, then helps you with the baggage.
“just a few hours. i kept thinking if i was missing to pack something,” you confess. “i probably dreamed about it, i just don’t remember. you?”
“well, me too. can’t wait to rest and enjoy the view with you.”
“i’m so glad we’re going together. so glad you came from such a beautiful place, no wonder you’re the love of my life,” you hug his waist, leaving a quick peck on the side of his neck.
“you’re lucky we can’t be late. i could totally go back up to your place so we could smooch for a few hours.”
you just laugh and let go of him, leaving the teasing for when you’re properly alone.
the trip to his parents house and then to anchorage went by pretty fast. jeremy came from a family full of good people, so it was easy to talk to them comfortably. since it was a long flight, everyone took the opportunity to get some sleep — not even the excitement could control tiredness.
there wasn’t a proper plan to follow during the trip, so you hang out inside just enjoying the coziness of the house, taking every chance to cuddle by the fire or outside on the porch. sometimes you would take a walk around the neighborhood, eating delicious food and buying souvenirs. the other day you went hiking in his favorite place, then when you reached the top, your emotions overflowed when you took in how beautiful the world around you was. jeremy stayed by your side, waiting for you to calm down. he was aware of how hard work has been to you, but the difference was that you couldn’t let out this kind of energy like he did on the ice. he was aware that for now all he could do was being there until you got back.
and you did. within the safety of his arms, you felt lighter while you waited for your breath to normalize and your eyes were still puffy.
“thank you, baby.”
“always, my love.”
you and jeremy have been a couple for almost two years, but after these days being so domestic and behaving like a true dynamic duo in every situation, it made you both realize how great of an idea it would be to finally move in together. neither of you knew you’re thinking of the same thing, so a few hours before going to the airport, jeremy took you to the porch to talk, failing to notice that you said you also wanted to show him something. he was nervous, it’s cute, you would’ve paid more attention if you weren’t as much as a nervous wreck.
it’s not like you’re anxious or anything — neither of you —, it’s the expectation. the realization of how much you love one another. loving someone to the point you wish to spend your whole life with, to wake up beside each other, to wait for them to come home.
“you know you’re my home, right?” he asks.
“i figured i might be one of them, yes” you joke, knowing how important his family is to him. jeremy stares at you for a second with a silly smile hovering his features. he pecks your lips twice.
“okay, smartass. i meant to say you’re someone i’m sure i want to build a home with.”
his straightforwardness catches you out of guard.
“jer…”
“wait, listen. i’ve considered a lot of things, but i know you must have your own conditions…”
“baby, correct me if i’m wrong.” you hold his hands over your lap. “we’re each other’s home, that’s known. now you want us to build a home together? is that right? like living together?”
“yes, if you let me.”
“remember i said i wanted to show you something?” you let go of his hands to open an app on your phone, searching for a picture. jeremy is slightly confused by the subtle change of topic, but quietly waits for you.
you smile when you find it. it’s a picture of a cheesy welcome rug with a bear couple and lots of cute hearts. jeremy smiles right when he sees it, used to the silly stuff you send him everyday, especially the ones with couples that act like you two.
“that’s adorable, for sure… wait.” he tears his eyes off the phone to find you smiling at him with your eyebrows raised. “is this what i think it means?”
“i must add that this is one picture from a quite big pinterest folder. i named it our lil ol’ home, see?” you show him the title.
jeremy looks like he could cry at any second.
“my love…”
you stand from your seat to sit on his lap, hugging him with your whole body.
“we’re in this together. i love you so much, jer.”
“i love you, y/n. can’t wait to start buying couple’s stuff with you as soon as we arrive home.”
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issacballsac · 3 months
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Wishes to Unknown
Unknown/Saeran Choi
Male Reader
Joining the RFA had been nothing short of a fever dream to you
To anyone with an ounce of sanity even
So the <<Hi!>> of the very person responsible for your forceful recruitment into this organisation wasn’t exactly welcomed
<<Long time no see. We chatted before, remember?>>
With reluctant annoyance you did the very thing that got you in trouble at the start, responding.
<<Yep, what exactly are you messaging me for now?>>
<<Thanks to your help back then, I could preform my task without trouble.>>
<<Glad I could help🫂; you wouldn’t happen to be telling me what said task is/was?>>
<<Anyways. I told you I’m studying abroad, remember? But if you don’t it can’t be helped.>>
<<Yes I understand but why should I care about any of this?>>
<<Well—um…I’ll be back in Korea today. Remember I told you I’ll make it up to you if you help me? :)>>
<<So…>>
<<I’m not sure if I’m liking where this is going..>>
<<Do you have time today? Why don’t you join me to see the sky tonight? I have what I like to call a haven of sorts where I come whenever I visit Korea.>>
<<I’d love to go there with you.>>
<<Honestly, today is my birthday and you’re the only one who could properly congratulate it for me.>>
<<I promise you won’t regret it.>>
<<You have such a way with words—I almost forgot what happened last time you invited me to a mysterious location.>>
<<Look—>>
<<If you come to me. I’ll make it a VERY pleasant day for you. I even made you a crown with red roses. :)>>
<<Still not convinced dude. Bc if I get added to another group chat after this I will delete this app.>>
<<Okay ok; I’ll bring ice cream, Yk with summer it’s getting hot. We can also watch popular films? I’ll get everything ready I promise.>>
<<Youll join me, won’t you? I’ll be waiting for you.>>
UNKNOWN has left the chatroom
Every instinct in your body spiritual and physical told you not to go to the location sent to your phone.
BUT
Curiosity couldn’t kill the cat twice, could it?
Simply walking out of the apartment with your current attire as the event wasn’t that special to you; you began your search of the park.
The park was sparsely populated from the locator position the greatly mysterious UNKNOWN had graciously granted you
None matched the original picture he sent all those weeks ago
“Brown hair, green eyes. Brown hair, green eyes. Brown hair and green eyes.” You repeated as if it were a mantra looking over the same groups of people.
“Looking for me, my prince?”
“Indeed I was my dearest catfish. That’s obviously not you in the pictures.”
Almost unbothered by the comment he maintained eye contact, “Yes, well my identity is somewhat of a secret. Please try to understand, I can’t simply go throwing my image everywhere.”
“Sure sure. Anyways, happy birthday…Unknown? Got a name I can call you?”
“I’m a bit reluctant to say—no, it should be fine. Call me..”
“Shall I call you my stalking prince?”
His eyebrows furrowed towards his eyes, “If you’ll let me finish.”
“Yeah yeah, go ahead.”
Firmly clearing his throat, “It’s Saeran. But don’t go yelling it everywhere and definitely not to the RFA.”
“I won’t, I promise. But I really like your name, it’s nice to actually learn something about you.”
“Well you already know a lot. I’m not the guy from the photo, I hacked your phone on certain occasions, I like ice cream, and now you even know my name.”
“Yes we could almost get married with how much I know about you.”
“Though you are beautiful if you don’t mind the compliment. You’re not such a weirdo either, even if you did trick me into joining a strange charity.”
“Yes you make me sound SO amazing and dreamy.”
Taking a bite from out of his ice cream cone, “Yes, because you are, and I am totally not speaking out of my ass when I say this.”
“Enough of the chatting, I was promise a nice a pleasant day, so, show the way.”
Snickering slightly, Saeran stopped himself from reaching for you hand and opted for a follow-the-leader route.
On a secluded hill, a blanket lay bare with a singular unbranded laptop at the centre. A brown woven basket sat not far from the main attraction.
“Birthday picnic?”
He sat down calmly on the blanket. Lightly yet rapidly clicking on the keys of the keyboard.
The soft white light beamed against his already pale face, “Any suggestions for a movie?”
“I thought we were starting gazing.”
He quirked a brow at your remark.
“The constellation I want to see isn’t out yet. In the meantime won’t you accompany me?”
A small rotation of movies was shown before you both ultimately decided to just wait.
“Sae look! Isn’t that the constellation you wanted to see?”
His eyes snapped up as the stars aligned perfectly. A small smile was rapidly tugging at his face. “Sae?”
“A—sorry, it was just shorter.”
“I don’t mind it.”
Readjusting yourself on the mat, you took another spoonful of the mass amount of mint ice cream your newly acquired partner brought.
“Hey, so do you like—wish on the constellations? Or is it just the individual stars?”
“I’d call you stupid, but, I don’t know myself.”
“Here. I’ll wish you another happy birthday for each one of the stars in the constellation.”
“That’s a lot of stars you know?”
“I have all night and tomorrow morning.”
An actual laugh escaped from him, a laugh that had been held in for years it seemed. A pure and genuine expression.
“You know…there are better ice cream flavours than mint.”
“Don’t ruin my birthday. Please.”
This was based off of his 2019 birthday event
@viernane
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in-death-we-fall · 1 year
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The Ultimate Rockstar Test
This week: Joey Jordison, Slipknot/Murderdolls
Bands like to think they’re badass, but who’s truly the most rock’n’roll of them all? We test them and find out who’s top of the class for chaos!
Words: John Longbottom
(drive link)(Wednesday's Rockstar Test)
Have you ever broken an instrument in anger? “Absolutely! One time was when I was playing with the Murderdolls in Glasgow. We got to the end of Let’s Go To War and my guitar was short-circuiting, so I took it off and I smashed it really hard on the floor and then picked it up and threw it across the stage. The neck snapped off as soon as it landed and I immediately just thought, ‘Fuck, I really wish I hadn’t done that!’ My guitar tech ended up fixing the fucker for me, so it all ended up okay!” Bet it looked cool at the time, though. You owe your tech some crisps. Pass ✔
What’s been your most diva-ish rider request? “Slipknot try to keep our tour riders to a minimum. Most bands ask for complete shit and then they don’t even use half of it. Here’s what a band wants; they want booze, tea, water and enough food to feed everybody. That’s basically it. Slipknot always asks for loads of disinfectant for our overalls. All the sweat combines when you’re playing and sometimes if we have two shows back to back we can’t get them cleaned properly, so we have to wear our sweaty suits from the night before. It’s fucking gross climbing back into those things sometimes, I can tell you! Oh yeah, and we need wet wipes to get all of the greasepaint off our faces.” We were expecting some goat heads on the rider. But wet wipes? Fail ✘
Have you ever had a run-in with the law? “Let’s just say I shouldn’t have been driving. I went to jail for the night. I do regret it but everybody has to go to jail at least once in their lives! Honestly, I can’t remember much about it, I was too fucked-up to remember anything! That made the whole situation a lot easier, I guess.” If you shouldn’t have been driving, the police were right. Fail ✘
When was the last time you threw a punch? “A while ago. I used to be a bit of a fighter in the early Slipknot days; we all did! We’d get in big fights with other bands. In 1995-’97 we were basically in an all-out war with everybody – that whole time in our lives we were all fucking crazy. We’d play shows and drink and get in fights – we didn’t take shit from anybody and we still don’t. Looking back on that whole era, I just can’t believe some of the fights we used to get into!” Now that’s more like what we wanted. Pass ✔
Have you ever trashed a hotel room? “No! I don’t do that kind of shit; it’s childish. I think most people just do it to say that they’ve done it. I don’t need to do that – I’m respectful. It’s peoples’ jobs to take care of that stuff, to clean up those hotel rooms. I’m not juvenile enough to just fuck their day up just for the sake of it!” Ooh, I’m in the world’s scariest band and I’m really considerate. Fail ✘
What’s been the most extravagant thing you’ve ever bought? “That would definitely have to be my house. It’s in Des Moines, Iowa, and it’s a very nice house – not a completely crazy mansion like some MTV Cribs shit, but a very sweet house. It looks very proper from the outside, but inside it’s very gothic-looking. You walk in the front door and you’re in a fucking different dimension. You could be out in the blazing sunlight, but step into my house and close the door behind you and you’re in the chamber. You won’t even know what time it is in there – I don’t have any clocks in my house! There are cobwebs painted on the walls – it’s very, very cool.” We think that’s, ahem, time for another pass, then ✔
Joey scored 75% Something is very, very wrong here. We once saw the Slipknot drummer do a toilet on the street outside his bus to prove how rock’n’roll he was. That version of Joey Jordison must have been taking the day off, because this is a pretty disappointing score. He’s better – or at least, more unhinged – than this.
2013 Leaderboard ↑Perry Farrell, Jane’s Addiction - 98% Cronos, Venom - 92% Nikki Sixx, Mötley Crüe - 91% ↓Devin Townsend - 12%
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gretavanbear · 1 year
Text
The Professor - Josh Kiszka x Fem!Reader
[a/n: short chapter, i’m sorry about that ): i’m kinda… testing the waters i guess…. please let me know what you think!]
SCREENING #? : Jake’s House
Josh knocked on the front door eagerly, excited to spend time with his brother. Now that they both had steady, busy jobs, it was harder to spend time with one another. Sometimes, they’d go weeks without talking when they were so used to talking every day. This time, Josh had not spoken to his brother since the beginning of the semester.
“Hey, player.” Jake smirked, opening the door and letting him walk in.
“Hey… player?” He questioned as he took off his shoes, placing them next to Jake’s chelsea boots in the entrance of his home.
“Yeah. Since that’s what you are now.” Jake chuckled, walking over to his bar and grabbing two glasses of the drinks he had just made. Martinis. Josh walked over to the dinner table, setting down the essays on the table and sat down, looking over at Jake with a curious look as Jake sat facing him, smirking.
“You’re confusing m-”
“Is one of your students failing your class?” Jake interrupted, taking a sip from his drink as he examined his brother’s face. He watched Josh stiffen up, clear his throat and then think of a way to respond.
“No? Why do you ask?” Josh said, his heart beating loudly in his chest, afraid of what Jake was about to unveil in front of him.
“It’s just… so weird. I had such an interesting encounter earlier with a student.” Jake spoke, taking another sip of his drink.
“Yeah?” Josh inquired, raising an eyebrow as Jake got up and walked over to the oven, checking the food and if it’s cooking properly.
“When I was in your office, there was just me in there. But then like ten minutes after I left, a student came out. Care to explain?” He said, still facing the oven.
“Maybe she came in after you left and didn’t notice?” Josh hoped Jake would drop it, knowing him he knew he wouldn’t.
“Yeah, and that’s what she told me..” Fuck! He talked to her? “I just do not think that’s what happened, Josh.” Jake turned around, He looked at Josh with a sense of judgment, disappointment. Resting his behind on the counter as he crossed his arms, looking for an explanation. “I mean is there a hidden door in your office I don’t know about? If so then fuck you for not showing me!” He chuckled, but he was pushing out for an answer in a way that made Josh feel pressured.
“I.. I don’t know how it happened. Okay? Fuck. One second we were talking and the other… God!” Josh spoke with his head in his hands, unable to give him a clear answer.
“Okay.” Jake sighed, taking the food out of the oven and making the plates for the two of them. “I get it.. Sometimes students flirt with me, too. Late night music sessions, office hours, I get it.” He adds as he brings the plates to the dinner table, sitting down in front of Josh.
“I’ve never done anything like this before.. I don’t know. Something about her being just so.. obsessed with me. It makes me feel so special.” Josh vented, rubbing his bridge with his pointer finger and thumb.
“Yeah. I understand that. But Josh you really can’t get caught. It’s against the university rules. You’d get fired immediately.” Jake spoke. Josh felt so thankful he had his brother who always knew what to say, he understood him completely.
“I’ll be careful. Thank you for keeping this.. Between us two.” Josh thanked him, before lifting his glass and bringing it to his lips.
“Of course, Josh. Now let’s eat before it gets cold!” Jake chuckled, taking a bite of the pasta he made.
“What’s she like?” Jake inquired later in the evening, flipping the page on the essay he’s currently grading. Josh raised an eyebrow before looking up at him from his paper.
“She’s..” He paused, thinking about you. “She’s really special. She thinks like I do. Whenever I talk in class she just looks at me with so much hope and excitement over the material I’m about to teach. And I picked easy movies this semester but I feel like she wants to be challenged, she wants to learn everything. Not only about the course but about me. She even asked about my tattoo.” Josh beamed, looking at his brother with a smile.
“I’m glad. You deserve to be happy, Josh.” Jake replied with a small smile, before returning to the essay he was reading. Jake thought about you, the pretty girl rushing out of his brother’s office. He thought about how flustered you made his brother look, and how you must be good at what you were doing if he was willing to go to such lengths to keep this thing hidden.
He thought about that other time he saw you in that same hallway. You hadn’t noticed him, but he sure noticed you. You had your hair down, and slight makeup on. You waited in front of Josh’s office patiently as he looked at you through the doorway of his office. You seemed so caught up in your own little world, and he wanted an in. He wanted to know more. He needed to know more.
{@joshsbadussy @alyson814 @ageoffleeet @Ashabeannn @schleeble @kennygvf @brokenbe11s   @gretavansteph @l0vep0ti0n @welllauragvf @misshunnybee @succeedingsigns @myfavfics01 @whorefourjakekiszka @not-a-hypochondriac @myleftsockisnotmine-blog @leedleleedlelee003 @beth-gvf @jordie-gvf-admin @joshkiszkas @oksydneyy @weightofstar @flo-gvf @myownparadise96 @indigokiszka @spark-my-nature @stardustofman @malany-gvf @carbonwrittingthroughtime @groupiegirlie08 @fwzco @nicoleghost18 @andromeda-raine-gvf @sarrrahhh @ren-ni @otherworldlyautumn @Timeless—classics @zoe-tally06 @hippievanfleet @hellowgoodbye @aminaalilyy @gvfcinema @joshpaperscissors @dammittjanet @enchante-em @austinbrry @meetingthestarcatchers @Samkiszkaspinkietoe @spinthehemmo @stonecoldmo @fitalich @justcarsonngvf @tearsofjakey @thetroublegetssoloud71 @lexii-nv-c @bailey747 @streamofgvf }
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thatonefemmelesbian · 3 months
Text
Singer reader x jb guitarist (pt 2)
You had been rehearsing for tour for months now, almost everything was ready for the opening night next week, but as it got closer and closer, your self doubt got higher and higher. You were excited, until you started thinking of everything that could go wrong. You were in the middle of rehearsal, but you just couldn’t get the word right to this song. You were too stressed to focus properly, and being sleep deprived didn’t help either. “I think we should take a break for now” Julien says. You felt like an idiot. What artist doesn’t even know the words to their own song? You just wanted to cry, or kick something, or maybe both. “I don’t know why I can’t get it right!!” You yelled, throwing your hands around in the air. You felt a hand on your shoulder, leading you outside. “Just take a breath, okay?” Julien says, clearly picking up on your overthinking. “I feel so stupid, I can’t get anything right. I’m just so nervous for tour, like it seemed like a good idea, at first, but now it’s just so close and I don’t know what I’m doing, and what if no one even shows up to any of the shows, and if I can’t remember the words now how would I remember them when I’m on stage, and I feel like I’m letting down you and the band, and what if-"
“Breathe.” She interrupts, “You’re not stupid and you’re not letting anyone down. It’s just nerves, that’s all. Of course people are gonna show up, you sold out multiple venues! That wouldn’t happen if people didn’t like you. I know it’s scary playing in front of hundreds of people, but no one’s there to judge you, okay? Even if you do completely fuck up somehow- which you won’t, people won’t care, cuz at least they got to see you. And I know I’d rather put on a shit show then just cancel altogether” Julien says, trying to reassure you. “You’re right, I’m sorry I just freaked out for a second.” You say, slightly embarrassed. “It’s okay, you have nothing to apologise for. Just take your mind off of everything for a minute and relax, everything’s gonna be fine” she responds.
You both stay outside, enjoying the fresh air, for a few minutes, finally letting yourself relax as you talk about anything coming to your minds. You were becoming really good friends the more you got to know each other, and she plays guitar better than you ever have. “We should probably go back in now, but thanks for reassuring me, I’m really grateful you decided to come along.” You say, walking back into the studio with a more positive attitude.
You decide to call it a night after a couple more run throughs, finally perfecting the lyrics and feeling satisfied with rehearsal. “You did great tonight.” Julien says before you grab your bag to leave. “Thanks, you did too. I still can’t believe there’s only one week until tour starts. I think you might need to give me one of those pep talks every night until then” you say laughing, but actually you do need another pep talk sometime soon. “You’ll be fine I promise, just try and actually get some sleep before then instead of relying on 5 cups of coffee a day for energy.” She says, patting your shoulder before heading out of the studio.
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amatchinwater · 1 year
Text
Devenford Academy
Chapter 5: Join the Hunt
Warnings: Blood, violence, hunting, full moon, "feral" behavior, eating of a fresh kill (animal),
Ao3 link Masterlist
Sorry, I didn't have the energy for am aesthetic
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Another week after the night of the dance, Stiles has stopped ignoring Brett’s advancements. For the most part. All they’ve really done is kiss. Not even that much either. Mostly only when the Alpha walks him home after dinner. They still snuggle one another during pack nights. Stiles has grown less hesitant in both showing and receiving affection.
They’re not exactly together, but they might as well be.
“I thought you were going to put him through the ringer forever,” Isaac flops on the spark’s bed. “I was quite enjoying watching the show.”
Stiles tosses his sketchbook on his nightstand, “the show?” He crosses his arms, cocking an eyebrow at his best friend’s cheeky grin.
“Of seeing how far you’d make Brett go to prove himself,” the wolf explains. “You know how mistrustful I am of people after my dad. I wouldn’t have agreed to be in his pack or be his right hand if he wasn’t worthy.” Isaac pokes the spark’s calf, “he’s not Malia. And he’s not a manwhore either, despite the appearance.”
Of course the wolf understood the nearly hidden hesitation Stiles harbored. The thought that tickles the back of his mind on rare instances. “Brett literally offered to jerk me off before even saying hello.” Stiles scoffs, but it feels halfhearted. “Can you blame me?”
“Fair enough,” Isaac cackles, looping his arm around the spark’s leg, nuzzling him. The whole pack has been a lot more tactile the last two days. He’s not complaining, it’s just different. “So are you two like together now? Officially?”
“He hasn’t asked, if that’s what you mean,” Stiles shrugs. It’s the question that’s been plaguing his mind. Someone knocks on their door, “just a sec,” the spark says, having to yank his leg free from the whining wolf to get up. Stiles opens the door and suddenly has an arm and mouthful of Alpha. Scooping Stiles up into his arms and kissing the functioning brain cells the spark has goodbye.
Brett pulls back, placing one last kiss on his lips, “I missed you, Gorgeous.”
“Okay,” Stiles breathes out, brain not properly processing what was said. He shakes his head, hoping to etch-a-sketch his mind. It half works. The spark is just a little stuck on the fact that that was a lot, even for Brett. He usually gets at least a hi first. Just confirms what he said about them all being more touchy. “I missed you, too,” Stiles lets himself admit.
“Sorry,” the Alpha sets him back down. “The full moon is tonight so everything is a bit more intense for us,” Brett explains. 
So that’s why the scenting has been more intense. Stiles snorts, “so you can’t control yourself is what you’re saying,” playfully swatting the wolf’s chest. He bites away the impulsive comment about them humping his leg next.
“I did,” Brett disagrees with a flicker of red eyes, yanking the spark close by his belt loops. He lets out a gleeful growl at Stiles’ noise of surprise. “I could have just bent you over and fucked you in front of Isaac like my wolf wanted to.”
“Oh,” Stiles gulps. 
The Alpha leans in, dropping his voice honey thick, “yeah, oh.” Brett taps the spark’s chin up, “so maybe don’t tease an Alpha or that’s exactly where you’ll end up, Gorgeous. Because the offer still stands.”
The spark squeaks, “noted.”
“We’ve got what, an hour until sunset?” Isaac sits up in the spark’s bed.
“Just about,” Brett confirms.
“He comin’?”
“Coming where?” Stiles asks, not having the slightest clue what they’re talking about.
The Alpha answers Isaac first, “that’s what I’m about to ask and find out.” The spark’s mouth is open in a confused frown. “This is your first full moon being a part of the pack,” Brett starts. “The reason everyone but you and Mason didn’t eat at dinner is because we all go hunting in the woods around school together. It’s a way of strengthening the bond we all have and learn to hone and trust our instincts.”
“Okay,” Stiles scratches his jaw, “but I’m basically human. So, what does that have to do with me?” He doesn’t have instincts to worry about. 
“Mason comes with us sometimes too,” the Alpha says. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. But it could be a good way for all of us to bond and have fun together. You can also see the more primal side of being a werewolf,” Brett’s eyes flash red and he squeezes Stiles’ hips, “I think you’d like it.”
“Is that even safe?” Stiles crosses his arms, “I mean if you all are running on instinct trying to kill something, isn’t that, I don’t know, dangerous for me? I have no idea what’s in those woods.”
Isaac laughs, burrowing his face in the spark’s pillow, “as if Brett would let anything happen to you. Me either, for that matter.” The Beta is dangerously close to humping his bed and Stiles might lose it. 
“I’m not going to lie to you and say it’s perfectly safe,” Brett tells him. “But you’ll be with all of us. I will keep you safe. Yes, we’ll be running on pure instinct. But protecting your pack is one of those instincts,” the Alpha reminds him.
Stiles still doesn’t quite get it. “But I’m not a wolf. Or even that athletic, I quit lacrosse. What purpose would I possibly serve? I’d just end up holding you guys back.”
“You can be there so I have someone pretty to show off for,” Brett suggests with a smile. The spark is surprised he didn’t wiggle his eyebrows too.
Stiles shoots him a glare, “you already do that.”
“Okay. Stiles,” Isaac sits up, clutching the spark’s pillow and smelling it, “have you ever seen Mason doing anything remotely related to sports?”
“Well, no,” the spark fumbles over himself. Brett comes up behind him to scent his neck, dragging his tongue along the sensitive skin. “My god, you two are incorrigible,” Stiles huffs, flopping down on his bed and dragging the Alpha with him. Brett and Isaac instantly move him so they can both snuggle and scent to their heart’s content. He understands it’s harder for them this close to the full moon, but fuck. Can’t they finish a conversation first?
Brett starts growling softly.
“Exactly my point,” Isaac states like they haven’t missed a beat. “Besides, you know damn good and well that I’d keep an eye on you. That’s if Brett even lets you out of his sight.”
“We’re the only pack in school that has an Alpha too,” Brett adds, “all of the other wolves are still tied to their parents or home packs. So if any of the other wolves are out there, they’ll steer clear.”
“Why?” Stiles asks.
“Too worried about pissing him off,” Isaac answers, “they won’t mess with another Alpha.” The Beta rubs his nose along the back of the spark’s neck, “come on,” he whines, “I wanna run and play with you.”
The spark can’t help but chuckle at how childish his best friend sounds right now. “Play?”
“After a successful hunt, we usually chase each other. Hide and seek by scent. Things like that,” Brett says. “It’s all in good fun.”
“Please,” Isaac draws the word out.
“Pretty please,” Brett paints the question on the spark’s lips, as if that’d help him think.
“Okay, okay,” Stiles concedes, “I’ll go.” Both wolves squeeze him tighter, rumbling with glee at the spark’s agreement. 
The walk from campus to the front gate felt more ominous than it probably should have. But Stiles can’t help it. Even with the full moon casting a silver glow on the outskirts of the woods, it doesn’t do much. Inside the thick trees looks pitch black. The spark doesn’t even think he’ll be able to see his hand in front of his face. Forget the roots on the ground that he should avoid.
“Screw it,” Stiles mutters, conjuring a small orb of blue fire in his palm. It’s not perfect, but the spark is worried if he makes it bigger that it’ll float away and burn the forest. That’s the last thing he wants. 
“That’s a good idea,” Mason notes, forming a fireball of his own. The glowing purple eyes look beautiful on the young spark. Stiles beams with pride at his packmate.
Brett is ahead of the pack, leading them far enough into the forest that there’s less risk of running into students taking a stroll. Though most stay inside during a full moon. Better safe than sorry with other wolves possibly out here too. Stiles wishes he was closer, honestly feeling a shred of the longing in his skin for touch. Nothing remotely close to the wolves, though it’s there nonetheless. But he appreciates the Alpha making them all as safe as possible. 
Isaac and Lori cover the Alpha’s flank. Constantly checking their surroundings. For something to hunt or any unwelcome guests, the spark isn’t too sure. Honestly, it’s probably both. Liam is sticking close to Mason on Stiles’ left. More than likely keeping an eye on his own best friend. Brett assured him that once they’re far enough in that he and Isaac will be closer.
The spark understands he has Alpha duties. He’s okay to wait.
“Hey, Donovan,” Stiles whispers at the Beta a few paces ahead of him. He hasn’t had a chance alone to apologize for ditching him at the dance.
“Hey,” Donovan quips, falling into step with the spark, “you doin’ okay? The first hunt can be a bit crazy.” The Beta doesn’t seem angry or even upset, so that’s a good sign.
Thanks to the added glow of his fireball, Stiles is able to step over the large root. “I am now that I’m not blind,” the spark waves the blue ball around. “I actually wanted to see how you were doing. I still feel pretty bad about just leaving you at the dance without an explanation. I wanted to apologize.”
“No need,” Donovan grins, putting his arm around the spark. “Brett came back and told us you weren’t feeling so hot. Something about dancing and the loud music making you nauseous.”
The Alpha covered for him. Stiles didn’t even know what excuse he would have gone with. All he knew was he needed to say sorry to the Beta. “Yeah, I don’t think that cupcake agreed with my stomach,” Stiles agrees. “Everything else after that sort of just made it worse.”
“Probably didn’t help that you downed it in two bites,” Donovan snickers, pulling him close to bump their heads together lightly. “It was a lot of sugar. Even I noticed it.”
The spark smiles, returning the half embrace, “I’m just glad you’re not upset.”
“Hard to be upset with you.”
Brett whistles and everyone comes to a stop. Mason extinguishes his flame, so Stiles follows suit, cloaking them in darkness. 
“He found something,” Donovan whispers, letting go of the spark, “I’ll see you in a bit.”
As soon as the Beta leaves, joining formation with Lori, Liam, and Brett, Isaac falls back. Choosing to stay with both of the sparks.
“Don’t you want to join the hunt?” Stiles asks. The rest of the pack snarls, racing off into the darkness.
“Brett said he wanted to show off, remember? So I offered to stay back with you guys. Follow me,” Isaac says, taking the spark’s hand in his. “We’ll go wait at our spot.”
“Our spot?”
“It’s this clearing of trees with lots of flowers and stuff,” Mason explains, looping their arms together as they walk. “It’s the spot where we all meet up after they finish hunting. The trees open up enough to let us- me and you- actually see.”
“Speaking of seeing,” Stiles squeezes the wolf’s hand to steady himself from tripping over his feet. “How the hell is Brett going to show off his hunting skills if I can’t even see him anymore? Doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.” Stiles can’t see either boy and they’re literally right next to him.
Isaac just laughs at him, “just trust me. He’ll be able to show off.”
A few more steps and they cross a threshold of trees. Opening up nicely at the top to reveal the night sky. The full moon at its peak, shining brightly amongst the stars and offering substantial light. Tons of wildflowers litter the area, almost more than there is grass. Yellows, purples, and pinks. All surrounding a little stream that disappears into the forest. Stiles wonders if it connects to the lake considering its gentle flow.
The pack must come here every full moon because there’s a few tree trunks laying around the water for them to sit on. It’s really beautiful. Stiles is happy he decided to come. The spark would’ve heavily regretted not seeing this. 
He’s surprised with the level of composure Isaac seems to have. Then Brett’s words ring in his head. That one of their instincts is to protect their fellow pack members. The Beta being tasked with looking after the two sparks would make sense as to why Isaac’s pretty much himself.
A chorus of howls echo the surrounding area.
“Okay, Stiles,” Isaac squats in front of where the spark is sitting on one of the logs. “There’s something you need to understand and prepare for. Nothing bad,” the Beta assures him, “just something you’re probably not used to.”
The spark’s brows furrow, “okay,” Stiles draws out the word, very much confused.
“It sounds like they all made successful kills,” Isaac says, speaking fast as if he’s trying to beat the pack’s arrival. “Now, everyone’s kill is their own.” Stiles senses a but. “But Brett’s is an offering for you. I know you’re pretty much human and don’t eat fresh, raw meat. It’s just an Alpha’s way of showing that he can provide. Just show that you’re grateful and it’ll be fine. If you want to, you can spark up a fire and cook the meat real quick. You don’t have to. Appreciation will be enough, okay?”
“It wouldn’t be disrespectful to cook it?” Stiles asks, not knowing the proper etiquette. 
“No,” Mason shakes his head, “I did it last year with the giant hare he brought me. As long as you tear the piece off and don’t cook the whole animal, you’re fine. Alphas understand humans don’t eat their food raw.”
Stiles hums, “good to know.” He can handle a rabbit or a hare. Totally. The spark’s never eaten one before, but if Mason can manage, so can he. 
Liam is the first to come running back, a big rabbit in his teeth and a smaller one in his claws. The young Beta drops the extra by Isaac, since he didn't get to hunt. The bigger of the two, he shares with Mason. Or at least they will once Brett is back. Alphas eat first, that much Stiles knows. Lori skids to a halt beside him, her arms full of five or six squirrels. Donovan settles on the log next to the she-wolf, what looks like a raccoon in his lap. 
A roar erupts the outer perimeter of the clearing. Two vibrantly glowing red eyes are the only indication as to where Brett is. The Alpha breaks through the tree line and Stiles' jaw is ready to break with how hard it drops. No one prepared him for that. Slung over the Alpha's shoulder isn't a rabbit or a hare. Hell, it's not even a fox or something like that. It's a fucking deer damn near half the size of the spark. 
"Holy shit," Stiles mutters in awe.
Guess he's having venison for the first time in a while tonight. Of course he's going to eat some of it, Stiles agreed to be part of the pack so he's going to be thorough. Especially considering that Brett did in fact show off. That's a whole ass deer!
The Alpha drops the doe in front of the spark's feet, a satisfactory, prideful puff to his chest. Brett kneels down, the animal in between them.
"Thank you," Stiles says, waiting for the Alpha to dig in first. He can see Brett amidst his wolfish features and wild red eyes. But it's also crystal clear that he's more Alpha than teenager. Stiles doesn't plan on pissing him off and wants the others to be able to eat too. He can practically hear Isaac's stomach growling. 
Brett doesn't eat, rather growls softly and nudges the deer towards the spark. 
Stiles looks to Isaac for help, but the wolf's golden eyes are glued to his Alpha. Anxiously waiting for the approval to eat. 
Being the only one functioning enough, Mason says, "he's relinquishing first rights to you."
"Oh," Stiles quips, "okay. Thank you," the spark repeats, heeding Isaac's warning goes that appreciation and gratitude are key here. Hooking his finger, the spark slices into one of the legs with his magic. Once he gets the piece in the air, Stiles separates the skin and hair off. Stiles is no stranger to skinning game. He used to go hunting with his father as a kid. So long as the animal is being eaten or used for something and not just killed for sport, Stiles can handle it. A mindset his dad drilled into him. 
Just now that he has magic, Stiles doesn't have to touch it anymore. The spark keeps the meat hanging in the air as he conjures a small flame to cook it. Brett watches him intently. Once he can really smell the chunk of venison, the spark extinguishes his flame and grabs the meat. Stiles takes a bite, wishing it was seasoned, but food is food. Not to mention he already ate and this is essentially a ritual just for show. 
"Thank you, Brett," Stiles smiles after swallowing, tossing the last bit in his mouth. 
Brett throws his head back and howls at the sky, the rest of the wolves joining in. He can't help but smile. The moment the Alpha is done and he digs into the leg Stiles had cut, the rest of the pack tucks in as well. He honestly thought he'd be more grossed out. Watching werewolves dig into a carcass that hasn't even gone cold yet isn't something you see every day.
If anything, Stiles is fascinated by it. Brett was right. It's pretty interesting watching them act like actual wolves. Once the Alpha has eaten a sufficient amount, his features return more human. The red eyes, fangs, and claws are still there, but he's lost the extra hair, pointy ears, and rugged features. 
"Are you still hungry?" Brett asks, offering another chunk he tore off. "Or do you maybe want some of theirs?" 
"You can have some of mine," Donovan offers the half eaten animal. 
It has been a while since he's eaten squirrel and has never tried rabbit before, but he's honestly full. And he doesn't want to take their dinner. Stiles shakes his head, "I'm okay. Thank you though." 
The Alpha snorts, stuffing the bite into his mouth, "I'm me again, Gorgeous. You can stop being so formal now." Brett winks at him, "the Alpha is more than pleased." 
It's strange, hearing Brett talk about 'the Alpha' as if it's its own being and not a part of him. Is that how they all feel? That their wolves are separate from themselves.
"I haven't had venison in years," Stiles grins, a bittersweet feeling bubbling in his chest. "After my dad became sheriff, he didn't have a lot of time to go hunting anymore. It was uh," he clears his throat, "it was a nice little bit of nostalgia." 
Brett shoots a prideful, yes understanding smile, "I'm glad I could give that to you." The Alpha gets to his feet, lifting the carcass with him. 
"Where are you taking it?" 
"A little ways back into the trees," Brett tells him, "give the animals out there a chance to eat too. Or if the other Betas haven't any success, they don't go hungry. After that, nature will take care of the rest. Less wasteful that way." The Alpha calls over his shoulder, "we can play hide and seek when I get back. Whoever showed up last is the seeker!"
"Dammit," Donovan groans, burying the bones of his raccoon before washing his hands and face in the stream. 
The other Betas follow his lead, burying the remains and cleaning themselves off. Stiles was wondering if they were going to run around caked in blood all night. It’s still crazy how everyone seems like themselves. Apparently giving their more feral side a chance to let loose is very beneficial. 
Brett returns and washes off, “okay, Donati, since it’s Stiles’ first time, let’s do a thirty count. Give him a little more time to hide since he’s unfamiliar with the woods.”
“You got it, boss,” the Beta agrees, turning around and plugging his ears. “One, two, three…”
No one sticks around to hear four. Everyone runs in a different direction. Stiles chooses to take off between Brett and Isaac. Better safe than sorry and stick close to them.
He honestly has no clue how far away he got. Stiles found a tree surrounded by a circle of shrubs to hide in. He can’t hear Donovan counting anymore, so the spark is either pretty far away or the Beta is searching for them already. Stiles tries to calm his jittery heart from the excitement and running. Because if his scent doesn’t give him away, that definitely will.
There’s a growl somewhere to his right? Left? Stiles can’t be too sure, but he definitely heard Isaac cursing. The first packmate to be found. He tries to make his breaths shallow and silent. Soft inhales and exhales through his nose. A twig snaps far too close for comfort. Even though his eyes have mostly adjusted to the dark by now, Stiles can’t see for shit.
It doesn’t look like anyone is around.
But that doesn’t mean a goddamn thing.
An arm wraps around his shoulder and Stiles nearly jumps out of his fucking skin. “Holy shit!” The spark shrieks.
“Found you, beautiful,” Donovan whispers, kissing his cheek.
Kissing his cheek.
Why did Donovan kiss his cheek?
The Beta helps him to his feet, “sorry I scared you,” he snickers, patting the spark’s back. “Can you make it back to the clearing on your own?”
“I don’t even know where I am,” Stiles huffs, choosing to ignore and completely brush off what just happened. Because what the fuck just happened? He doesn’t want to think about it. “Which way do I go?”
Donovan moves the spark around by his shoulders, “walk straight in this direction, you’ll be there in no time. Isaac and Mason are already there.”
“Okay, thanks,” the spark takes a careful step forward, listening to the Beta’s instructions. Sure enough, what feels like barely two minutes later, Stiles makes it back to the clearing.
“Mother fucker,” Lori grumbles, coming up behind the spark.
“Took less time than you thought, too?” Isaac asks as the she-wolf curls around the spark’s arm, nuzzling his cheek.
“Hi, Sparky,” she says, nuzzling into Stiles’ cheek. They walk side by side with one another, joining the rest of the pack. Stiles and Lori have grown a lot close ever since she tried to help him through a panic attack. Brett’s sister snuggled with him the whole time until the Alpha got back. Similar scents, similar comfort.
Liam comes back sulking, “he’s definitely getting better.” The young wolf takes up Stiles’ other side where they’re standing. 
“You guys are so cute,” the spark says, letting them snuggle up.
Isaac perks his head up, “don’t be so sure,” he chuckles.
“What do you mean?” Mason asks, voicing Stiles’ own thoughts.
The other wolves whip their heads towards the tree line, laughter bubbling in their chests.
“Think he’ll make it?” Lori asks.
Stiles and Mason share an equally confused look. Until the rustling starts. And the yelled growling. What the fuck is going on? But then Donovan breaks through the trees, a red-eyed Brett hot on his heels. Yelling about how he made it back to base fair and square. The Beta doesn’t make it another two steps before he’s tackled to the ground. Lori laughs through her growls as they roll around.
The spark didn’t even realize she’d let go of him. Isaac quickly joins the two playing in the grass just as the she-wolf makes impact. Liam breaks free from Stiles’ grip, making a dash for Mason.
“Liam, no,” the other spark chuckles, trying to get away. But he’s not fast enough. “Oof,” Mason grunts on impact, the young wolf tackling into the dirt.
“So, what do you think about your first full moon?” Brett comes up behind him, wrapping an arm around his middle. The spark can feel the amused smirk on his face watching the pack play.
“It’s a lot better than I expected,” the spark admits. A shiver runs down Stiles’ spine when the wolf licks a stripe along the side of his neck, teeth touching the flesh just enough to know they’re there. He tries to hold up the conversation, assuming it’s just more of Brett’s instincts getting to him. “I kind of want to play too, surprisingly.”
The Alpha lets go to wave at the group, “have at it.”
“Well,” Stiles turns to face the wolf, “I mean with you.” Because he likes the idea of bonding more with Brett. Get him fully out of his shell and maybe they can finally decide what they hell they are. 
“Probably not the best idea,” Brett curls the spark back into him, grip pinching into his waist. “My wolf might get…confused with you.” Stiles cocks his head to the side. “Alphas see running- from someone of interest- as an invitation.”
The spark’s brows pinch, “an invitation to…”
“To fuck,” Brett rumbles in his ear.
Say less.
Stiles is very curious how far the Alpha would go given permission. How much Brett will give into his instincts. Would he actually fuck him in the woods if he ran? Without a second thought, the spark takes off into the woods. He may only be practically human, but maybe being part of the pack makes the full moon have some effect on him. Encouraging Stiles to let go of his inhibitions for once. The Alpha lets out a thunderous roar, ceasing the pack’s movements as he chases after him.
Stiles doesn’t know how far he makes it before impact, tumbling to the forest floor. Given Brett’s words, it must not have been far, “you didn’t stand a chance, Gorgeous.”
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somnambulants · 3 years
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hi!! i was just wondering if i could request more yelena where yelena introduces her gf to natasha and her family and she’s uncharacteristically nervous so nat finds it amusing? thank you :)
a bit of minor surgery
summary: Yelena tries to keep you to herself but her family has other ideas word count: 1.7K notes: so this is a little different to what you asked for but i hope you still like it! for the sake of this, nat, yelena, alexei and melina are just one happy family 
“But if we –"
Natasha holds up a hand and Yelena stops talking. “Do you hear that?”
It’s faint but there’s the sound of someone moving around on her apartment floor. Being the only person who lives on this floor and one of the few in this building is enough for this to raise the hairs on the back of her neck.
Survival for them has always meant constant vigilance.
Both of their heads swivel towards the front door as the footsteps become louder, very clearly approaching her apartment.
Yelena doesn’t have to look to know Natasha is mirroring her, pulling out her gun and scanning every entry-way for possible intruders.
On edge, Yelena presses herself against the door, readying herself until she listens properly and realises the approaching footsteps sound familiar. 
Somehow, she feels herself relax and become even more tense at the same time.
“Stop,” she says as Natasha moves towards the door as well, holding an arm out to stop her. “It’s okay. I know who it is.”
At her words Natasha relaxes, putting her gun away but she watches her face carefully as she does so.
The panic Yelena can feel building inside her must not be as well hidden as she thought because a slow grin spreads across her face as the sound of a gentle knock echoes through Yelena’s apartment.
“Is it..?”
“Yes,” Yelena replies curtly. “And no. You can’t meet them.”
Natasha gives her a wicked look, clicking her teeth together teasingly. “What? Scared I’ll…eat them?”
She snickers as Yelena reaches out and shoves her hard enough to knock the air out of her while also giving her a firm and clear: im going to kill you if you don't listen to me look as she goes to open the door.
Not that it's ever stopped Natasha before.
“Just stay there,” Yelena hisses and then wrenches the door open, finding you behind it with your hand still mid-air, prepared to knock a second time.
“Y/N!”
“Hi,” you say, looking a little startled but smiling at her none the less as you drop your hand.
Beside her and thankfully, just out of your view, Natasha, to her credit, is silent but Yelena can feel her gaze glued to her face and can especially feel the amusement radiating off her in waves.
She grits her teeth, forcing a smile. Your own fades a little as you take her in. “Is this a bad time?”
“No,” Yelena says quickly. Still out of sight, Natasha lets out a huff of laughter just quiet enough that she hopes she’s the only one that hears her.
“Not at all,” she adds, and since the door covers most of her body, it’s safe for her to reach out and pinch Natasha on the arm. Which is what she does. Hard. “Just --give me a second?”
Clearly still puzzled, you nod and Yelena closes the door, giving you a smile that she has a feeling looks more like a grimace.
Next she grabs Natasha by the arm and starts walking her forcibly towards the window. “Out.”
Natasha raises an eyebrow as she pulls them to an abrupt stop, looking at her then looking out the window. “You seriously want me to scale ten stories because you’re an idiot?”
As an answer, Yelena unlocks the latch and lets the window sweep open, giving her a pointed look that says: Yes. Obviously. 
Natasha rolls her eyes but to Yelena’s relief, she slides out the window.
“неудачник,” is all she says in parting before she disappears, dropping down the stairwell and vanishing from sight completely.
The word lingers in the air after her: Loser.
Yelena scowls after her for a second before she rushes back to the door and opens it, letting out a sigh of relief when she sees you’re still there, standing in the same spot.
“Sorry,” she apologises, swinging the door open. “There was just a uh, complication....a spider. I caught it and put it outside. I know you hate them.”
As she speaks, you slowly raise one eyebrow at her. The other quickly follows and it's then that she notices the narrowed look in your eyes.
When you start speaking, your voice is low and scarily calm. “So it has nothing to do with the woman I just made eye contact with as she was climbing down your fire escape?”
Something Yelena is proud to say is that in her life there have been very few times she’s been at a loss for words. 
This however is one of them.
She stares at you, blankly, knowing her panic must be showing on her face by the way your expression progressively becomes darker and darker as seconds pass and she fumbles frantically for something to say.
“I, uh, she is, she, uh –”
“—Natasha Romanoff. Nice to meet you.”
To her credit, Natasha has always been the stealthier of the two of them. Ignoring that fact, Yelena chooses to believe that her being distracted by you is why she doesn’t hear her coming back up the stairwell.
She also chooses to believe that she didn’t visibly jump at the sound of her voice and that the cough Natasha lets out is genuine and not covering up a laugh that says she’s going to mock her mercilessly for this entire thing later.
Of course, Yelena can’t fool herself but she tries anyway.
You look even more unimpressed as Natasha comes to a stop beside her and it clicks in Yelena’s head that you think her and Natasha – her and Natasha. She can’t even finish the thought.
As funny as it is, she doesn’t let herself laugh, knowing instinctively that it’s not a good idea. The flinty look in your eyes just confirms how much of a not good idea that is.
Just because you weren’t raised like her doesn’t mean that you couldn’t pack a punch; something she learned early on in your relationship when she’d accidentally snuck up on you once. She’d had a black eye for weeks after that.
“Natasha is my --” she isn’t sure how to say: ‘this is the woman I was trained to kill people with while we grew up being tortured and experimented on, remember I told you?’ In a way that won’t make you go running for the hills.
As she trails off, Natasha, sensing her panic, jumps in. Yelena knows that internally, she must be laughing hysterically though to her merit, she keeps it to herself. “I’m her… sister. Of sorts.”
You know about her past – all of what she was willing to repeat of it anyway – so comprehension quickly dawns on your face.
“Then why…?”
She watches as Natasha’s mouth twitches, sounding amused as she directly addresses you: “Well... my sister is an idiot. I’m sure you’ve noticed.”
Yelena tenses as you give her a once over, raking your eyes over her consideringly, before you turn back to Natasha.  “I may have noticed that. Yes.”
"Hey," Yelena protests, weakly. "That's not fair."
You give her a pointed look and she falls silent. Resigned to her fate, she lets out a sigh.
She can tell from the matching scheming looks brewing in both your own and Natasha’s eyes that this is only going to be the start of her own personal torment.
--
The one thing she really, really hates about her family is that they have this habit of showing up unannounced – you’d think that the whole being assassins and consequently, a little trigger happy as a result would make someone call ahead but no.
Never.
For this reason, it comes as no surprise when there’s the familiar three tap repetitive secret knock knock knock they had all come up with years ago on her front door early the following morning.
Silently, Yelena prays you don’t hear it and stay asleep as she drags herself out of bed and prepares herself for what she’s about to deal with.
Truthfully, she’s a little surprised that they’d had enough tact to wait until morning. She’d half expected them to be knocking her door down the second Natasha relayed last nights events to them. 
Yanking the door open, she comes face-to-face with Alexei and Melina. Taking them both in and cataloguing mentally that they look alive and uninjured, she lets herself glare at both of them.
“Is something wrong?”
They both frown. “No?”
“Okay I’m closing the door then.”
She starts to swing it shut but it’s quickly caught as Alexei shoves a foot in between it and the doorframe, giving her a reproachful look.
“Is your –”
“Yes,” Yelena interrupts, scowling harder than before, if that was even possible. “Now, leave.”
The look on Alexei’s face shifts, now suddenly a little too much on the wrong side of sneaky. “Can we—”
“No.”
“But–"
“I don’t care. You can’t meet them,” she barks, probably too loudly, as she shoves him back out into the hallway. If she has to throw them bodily out of here, she will. It just would likely attract your attention, which is the opposite of what she wants. “They’re asleep.”
“We can wake them,” he suggests, unhelpfully.
Yelena glares at him harder. “No.”
It’s faint but all of a sudden, she can hear the sound of a door squeaking as it opens. Her bedroom door to be more exact. Your voice calling out to her quickly follows.
“Okay,” she says. “I’m closing the door now.”
“Hey, no wait –” Alexei starts to protest. Yelena closes the door firmly in their faces and is working on dead-bolting it just as you appear in her line of sight.
You blink at her blearily, wearing just one of her T-shirts and nothing else. Thank god she hadn’t let them in. “Who was that?”
“Neighbours,” Yelena lies. “Looking for their …cat.”
Still half asleep, you don’t think to question her and she sags against the door in relief as you venture into the kitchen in search of coffee.
To her relief, there are no subsequent persistent knocks or calls through the door and after a second, she can hear the quiet sound of footsteps and Alexei’s grumbling as they retreat.
Natasha is one thing – their parents or pseudo-parents or whatever they are – are another thing entirely. She’d save that one for another day.
Or never, preferably.
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duskholland · 3 years
Text
Stuck With(out) You - Mob!Tom Smut
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tom was having a really nice day until the metropolitan police decided to crash his date.            or, when the law finally catches up to london’s most notorious mobster, tom learns that nothing is fair in love and war.
word count ↠ 15k. warnings ↠ angst with a happy ending, alcohol, a car chase, extensive depictions of prison, violence (very minor injury detail), tattooing, pregnancy, bad language, smut! there are extended nsfw warnings below the cut but this is 18+ so minors please do not interact.  a/n ↠ this is a work of fiction and is not meant to be taken 100% seriously! similarly to every other fic I’ve written about mob!tom, I don’t condone any of the actions shown in this story and all depictions of the mob and prison are entirely fictional. please do not date members of the mafia even if they are tom holland !!!!! + this fic was conceptualised before the release of cherry, and there are no purposeful links to the content of that film! the image from esquire that I’ve used is what led me down this path lmfao...esquire I love/hate you. ++ the biggest thank you ever to the wonderful @uglypastels​ for helping me with the initial brainstorm on this one, and for just generally being so supportive as I’ve struggled with writers block :’) I wouldn’t have ever been able to think this up let alone have the motivation to write this without you, so thank you and ily z <3  +++ there is a pov change halfway through this fic! it is intentional and you should be able to see it pretty easily but I’m just flagging it so you don’t think I lost it halfway through ahahha. enjoy!
nsfw warnings ↠ car sex, soft!dom!tom ft minor sir kink, oral and fingering (fem-receiving), multiple orgasms with brief refs to overstimulation, minor pregnancy kink, unprotected sex ft cumshot. 
✧ *:・゚Stuck With(out) You・゚:*✧
There’s something wrong with you, and Tom can’t quite put his finger on it.
He wonders if it’s the wine. He’d spent hours debating the type of grape and ideal bitterness, scouring his memory in search of the perfect blend to share with you on your date. Eventually, he’d settled on the same deep red that he’d shared with you the first time he’d visited your flat, back when your love was just a small spark. Three years have passed since then, the nerves of early romance melted away and replaced by knowing and love, but the wine has recurred each time one of you has decided to treat the other, so what better blend to bring along to the picnic that Tom had so meticulously planned?
You haven’t touched your glass, and Tom—for all his confidence and charm—is deeply unsettled by this.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks for what feels like the tenth time, with brows furrowed so tightly his forehead aches. Tom reaches across the gingham blanket to join your fingers together, surprised to feel the clamminess of your skin as you gently squeeze his hand.
You hum. “I’m fine,” you say, voice devoid of any intense emotion. You sigh softly before bringing your eyes to meet Tom’s, and the man feels his heart constrict in his chest. You’re perfect, even with your hair messy from the light spring wind and the nerves that sit across your face. When you squeeze his hand again, and Tom glances down to see the engagement ring on your fourth finger, the ache in his heart sharpens.
He never knew love could be this fulfilling, nor so easy. Breathing is harder than it is to love you.
“Okay,” he replies. “Do you want to go home?”
You’ve been so quiet for the entire date, which is strange because usually, you match his energy effortlessly. Tom has been away for a few weeks doing business in Liverpool, and this date by the river is the first time you’ve been properly alone since he returned. He’d really expected you to enjoy the date—or, on a very basic level, at least look like you want to be here. With your quiet answers, avoidance, and nervous stares, he can’t confidently say that you do.
You shake your head. “No, no.” You fiddle with some of his rings before pulling your hand away from his. As you sit up a little straighter, you turn away from Tom to stare instead at the River Thames.
The river behind you is lit by the mid-afternoon sun and flooded with boats. It’s such a lovely day that Tom almost doesn’t notice the horrible brown tinge to the water. Lining the bank are small groups of people—families, friends, couples, tourists. They all stay clear of the two of you, undoubtedly wary of the security guards lingering near their boss. He rarely goes out so obviously like this, but you’ve always loved London, and he’d wanted to treat you. He’d wanted this to be a nice day.
“You know you can talk to me, don’t you?” he checks, voice catching slightly.
Your eyes snap up to his quickly. “Tom,” you say, voice wrapped endearingly around his name. Moving easily, you slip closer to him, carefully shifting around the food and the glasses until you’re close enough to reach out and touch his cheek. “I love you.”
Tom’s teeth graze his lower lip as he feels you pad your thumb across his jaw. “I know,” he murmurs, dropping his gaze. “I love you too.” He pauses for a few moments, savouring the closeness and the scent of your rosy spritz. He’d missed you so much that it almost hurts to have you so close again. “I know you have something on your mind, darling… Can you tell me what it is? I want to help you.”
“I…” A breathy exhalation follows. You bring your hand away from his cheek and rest it on the red silk material covering his shoulder. He’s in a loose designer shirt, the top two buttons unbuttoned and showing off the silver-linked chain he has hanging from his neck. “Tom, I just…”
“What?”
A small smile twitches at your lips. “Not here,” you seem to decide, voice a little stronger. “I have something I need to show you.”
“At home?”
“Yeah.”
Tom feels the weight rolls from his shoulders. It’s fine—everything is fine. You want to let him in, want to trust him with the cause of your anxieties. You still want him.
“Let’s go, then,” he decides, knowing he’s far too impatient to spend another hour laying by the river. Tom offers you a hand, and you take it. He tugs you away from the picnic setup with ease. He doesn’t need to bother with putting the things away—someone else will do it. Just one of the perks of his job.
“I missed you,” you say, smoothing your thumb over the back of his hand as you walk together towards the car. “It gets lonely without you in the house. Our bed is ridiculously huge without two people in it.”
Tom chuckles. “Good job I’m back now then, eh?”
The noise you release is stacked full of so much relief it makes Tom feel guilty for ever leaving to begin with. As he watches the bright, genuine smile flow across your face when you meet his eyes, he resolves to never leave for business again. Never. Not without you.
“A very good job,” you clarify. When you reach the car together, Tom holds the door open for you, ushering you in dramatically until you’re laughing and making fun of him for fussing. The only way he can stop you from your jovial whines is by leaning across the dashboard and pressing his lips to yours, so really he can’t complain. “This car is stupid, too,” you decide.
“Oh, that’s too fucking far,” Tom murmurs, glancing in the rear mirror as he peels away from the pavement. He’s glad the air between you has lightened. You seem happier now you’ve decided to spill your secrets. He rests his hand on the back of your headrest as he twists in his seat, eyes on the road as he reverses. “This car is a beauty.”
“This car is confusing,” you say, and Tom feels you staring at the flex of his bicep. “I tried driving it when you were gone.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Mmm. Couldn’t even get it up the drive.”
“Well, not to be rude, darling, but it’s hardly fair to blame my beautiful car for the fact that you’re an atrocious driver.”
If looks could kill, Tom knows he’d be six feet under.
“Fuck you, Tom,” you seethe, but your voice is charged with laughter. “I take it back. I didn’t miss you at all. Go back to Liverpool, see if I care.”
Tom cackles. “Maybe I will,” he teases, “just to see how long it takes you to start begging for me to come back again.”
You grumble something incoherent at that, then the words between you lull into a comfortable silence. After a few moments, you shift your palm to rest on his thigh, your hand gentle, warm. Your fingertips trace tiny love hearts over his slacks.
“Don’t,” you say eventually, voice quieter. “Stay this time.”
Tom risks a quick glance to you, growing breathless in the depths of your eyes. “Of course,” he says, voice thick. Tom returns his gaze to the road, his chest feeling tight. “I’m never leaving you again.”
“I mean, you can leave sometimes if you want—”
“No. Never.” Tom’s cheeks ache. “I’m never leaving your side.”
“Alright, Tom.” You sigh lightly, feigning exasperation. “I guess there are worse things than being stuck with you.”
“I’m charmed, darling. So relieved you like spending time with your fiancé.”
You shift in your seat at that, and Tom doesn’t have to look at you to know you’re flustered. You’re always shyer around him when he mentions the fact that your futures are intertwined, almost unbelieving that he’d slipped that ring onto your finger. It doesn’t matter how many times Tom tells you that he cherishes you—you never quite make peace with the fact that he wants to chase the moon with you. That doesn’t mean he’ll stop telling you, though. You hang the stars in his sky.
“I love spending time with you, Tom,” you mumble. “And I hope that what I’m about to tell you doesn’t change how you feel about me.”
His eyebrows raise. “Wait— what?” Tom scrunches the tip of his nose up as he squints in your direction. “Y/N, what—” He pauses, concentrating on keeping his voice level. “Angel, nothing you could ever do would change the way I feel about you. Nothing.”
You smile quietly. “It’s not a bad thing,” you add, almost sensing his unease. “I think you’ll like it.”
“Perfect.” Tom sits a little straighter in his seat. “Then there’s nothing to worry about—”
Sirens cut into his words. Tom startles, glancing in the mirror to see a police car with a whirring blue siren perched atop the grimy vehicle.
“Tom,” you say slowly, voice filling with dread. Your tone sends shivers down his spine. “Did you do something?”
Tom bites his lip.
He’s been trying his best to stay above the law recently, but… Liverpool had been messy. Very messy. He hadn’t intended on things going quite as terribly as they had, but one thing had led to another, and he’d had to fuck a few things up. The crime is nothing as intense as he’s been booked for in the past, but he’d had to write a few irregularities into his taxes and business agreements to smooth over the waters. It’s not as bad as murder, but it’s tax fraud nonetheless.
Tom had thought he’d been fine. Apparently not. He’s been a hot target for the Metropolitan Police for years, and they’ve consistently unearthed every tiny discrepancy he’s tried to get away with. He should’ve been more fucking careful.
“Shit,” Tom mutters. As he brings his eyes back to the road in front of him, he realises the police car behind you has been joined by another two, closing in from side streets and boxing him in amongst the traffic. He swallows thickly. “I messed up.”
You curse. “Idiot,” you mutter. You sit forwards in the seat and start to point to a gap in the traffic, right across the square. “Go there,” you say, voice pitching higher. “If you go fast, you’ll make it.”
He could book it. Tom’s run away before, in situations of peril where the alternative had been the law and escaping would give him the chance to alter some books and clear his name. It would be easy to slam his foot on the accelerator and dive down side streets, dodging the thick London traffic.
“Tom!” you say again, voice stressed with desperation. “Tom, go!”
The gap in the traffic is narrowly closing, the window of time Tom has to zoom through and get to safety shrinking before his very eyes. If he was alone, he’d do it without a second thought, but you’re here.
You’re here, and that means he can’t be selfish. Tom couldn’t ever risk you, not with such a treacherous manoeuvre like the one that you’re suggesting, nor with the repercussions you’d face if he books it. You’d either have to come on the run with him, or you’d end up captured and grilled by the Met, and neither of those options is the types of things he’d ever bring willingly upon you. You would never deserve that, and he refuses to make it a possibility.
Tom slows down the car.
“Tom,” you say, shock filling your voice. “What are you doing? They’ll get you.”
He nods. “I want you to listen to me, very carefully,” he says quickly.
“But—”
“—Darling, please. Please.” Tom stops the car abruptly. He calculates he has mere seconds before the officers ditch their vehicles and start storming across the traffic to haul him from his seat. “Don’t say anything to them. They want me, not you.” He turns off the engine and grabs your hands, holding them close as he stares into your eyes. “Call Harrison. Whatever shit they’re bringing me in for won’t hold up for long. They’ve— they’ve done this before. They never win. We have backup plans for this crap.”
“Tom,” you whisper, eyes welling with tears, “but they—”
“I know. I know, baby. I know.” He presses quick kisses to your knuckles, clinging so tightly to your fingers it’s like he’ll drift away without your touch. “I’m sorry. I am so bloody sorry. I love you so much.”
His throat hurts. The sight of the pain in your eyes makes him hate himself for ever bringing you into this faithless way of life. He doesn’t give a fuck that he’s destined for a cell—Tom cares that he’s hurt you.
“I love you too,” you say. You lean closer, undoing your seatbelt and popping his too as you reach up to cup Tom’s cheeks in your shaky hands. “It’ll be okay,” you stress. “I’ll get you out of there, baby.”
You lean in closer to kiss him, and Tom aches. The scent of your perfume is overwhelming, and he feels fragile beneath the hold you have on his face. The kindness in your eyes makes it hurt even more. It’d be easier if you’d let fury consume you and spend these last sacred moments denouncing him instead of loving him, but of course, you’re not like that.
The car door opens, and Tom is hauled from the car the moment his lips touch yours. Before he can process it, he’s being pushed up against his car, stiff arms keeping him pinned in place. He closes his eyes, firming up his face and shoving down his feelings as he forces himself to dry up, become stoic. He won’t show weakness now he’s outside.
Tom hears you exit the vehicle a few moments later, the crash of the door coupled with a few scuffles. He drowns out the words of the officers whilst they reel off a list of fabricated crimes, smugness evident in their voices. Good for fucking them.
When they eventually release him, he’s cuffed and weaponless, his spirit bent in two. The metal of his car had hurt his face, but nothing breaks Tom’s heart more than the sight of you being held back by two officers, tears streaming down your face. You bring your hands into the shaky outline of a heart, and it’s the last thing he sees before he’s pushed into the back of a van.
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Tom’s day goes from bad to worse.
It’s clear that everyone at the station has been waiting for him to fuck up. He’s met with sly smiles and teasing comments as he’s reacquainted with some of his most despised wardens and guards. He’s held in a temporary cell for almost a day and quizzed on the shreds of ‘evidence’ they’d procured from his house during a raid, and though Tom declines to answer every single question they throw at him, their smugness never fades.
He walks into the trial already knowing he’s going to be locked up, and not even the sight of you beside Harrison and Harry on the benches soothes him.
Five years. He’s charged with five years.
Now, Tom isn’t worried. He knows he won’t actually be held in a cell for that long. He’s already had correspondence with Harrison, who’s assured him that he’s working on it, and there’s really nothing much to worry about. Tom has been in this situation twice before, and on both occasions, he’d been released in less than a month. The connections he’s built from his years heading up the mob are reliant and unwavering, and he knows he won’t have to serve even a fifth of his sentence.
The only difference between the times before and now is you, and Tom can only fucking pray that you don’t despise him for dirtying your name with his crimes. You’d been normal before him—a waitress, aspiring painter, an innocent. Despite your insistence that you love him with all strings attached, his guilt weighs him down. He doesn’t give a fuck about the law and whatever twisted loopholes the jury had bought, but he does care about you and what you think of him. That’s the hardest part.
Two weeks pass achingly slowly.
Prison isn’t that bad for Tom. He’s pretty fucking lucky, all things considered. He has friends here—blokes he’d met around town, most of whom are willing to welcome him in. A few of his old guys are locked behind bars with him, unwavering in their loyalty and more than happy to absorb him as members of their group. Those who don’t know Tom know of him. His reputation as a murderous, cold-hearted killer follows him inside, regardless of its falsity. Tom hasn’t taken a life in three years, but these men don’t need to know that.
“Holland! Get the fuck up. You’re in the gym.”
Tom glances up. He’s lying on top of his bed, one hand propped behind his head, the other holding open a book. He isn’t an avid reader like you, but you’d sent him a copy of your favourite book with scribbled annotations in the margins, and he’s been spending every hour since its arrival clinging to the pages.
He sighs as he puts the book down and stands from the lower bunk. He’s in with a young lad, Ollie, booked on a minor drugs charge. Why they’d paired someone on such a minimal sentence with a member of the mob, Tom will never understand, but the fear in the lad’s eyes every time he looks at him is enough to keep his wavering ego bobbing just above the waterline.
“Step away from the door.”
Tom does as instructed. A moment later, there’s a loud buzzer followed by the swinging of the heavy metal door.
In walks Luther, Tom’s archnemesis. If the inmates fear him, the guards despise him, and to be fair, Tom understands why. He’s a bit of a dick when he’s behind bars. Usually, when he’s free, he operates with a level of poise and charm that comes with his position as leader. He speaks to his men with a firm but kind hand, respects everyone he deems his equal and commands supreme authority without becoming a tyrant. However, when he has his freedom stripped away, and he has to bend to fit the system’s will, his attitude becomes… problematic.
“Holland,” Luther barks. A moment later, he appears in the doorway, coughing loudly, cheeks flushed a ruddy red. He snarls at Tom, his voice like jagged glass. “Come on.”
“You alright, mate?” Tom asks. “You sound fucking terrible.” He looks it, too, with a dripping nose and red-rimmed eyes. He looks ill.
Luther’s features sharpen. “Get over here now.”
“Yes, sir.”
Tom swaggers to the door and dodges a little as Luther cuffs him, the man digging the metal into his skin with extra ferocity. They start to march down the long, grey corridor towards the fitness suite, Luther prodding Tom forward with a hand digging into his back.
“How’s your wife?” Tom tries, tired of the echoing footsteps.
Luther sighs. “How’s yours?”
“She’s doing very well, thank you.”
The guard tuts. “Does she like having a criminal for a husband?”
“Does yours like being married to such a wanker— hey!”
Luther pushes him down the corridor with haste. “Quiet, Holland,” he mutters. “I’ve had enough of you.”
“Well, then it’s too bad you’re stuck with me,” Tom replies. “Did you know that if me being here annoys you so much, you could always let me go? That would sort out your problem.”
He barks a laugh. “Yeah? Let London’s most wanted convict escape?”
Tom raises a brow. “London’s most wanted?” he echoes. “Wow.” Pride seeps into his voice. “That’s an accomplishment.”
“Not a positive one. Self-absorbed bastard.”
It’s easy to laugh. Letting the comments bounce off his back is easier than admitting the jibe about you has irked him. Do you like having a criminal for a partner? Even Tom, for all the world has jaded him, knows no sane person would rest well with the knowledge that their significant other has lied, stolen, and killed. It doesn’t lie well with him, and he was born into this.
They reach the gym.
Tom sticks to the same workout regime he has at home. He does his cardio for twenty minutes on the wobbling treadmill, then sits around on the bench press and does curls with a few of the guys. He keeps quiet, his mind loud, only adding a few comments when necessary. His sullenness adds to his image, and he’s busy with thoughts of you. By the time he’s finished, he feels arguably worse than before. The endorphins from his workout are overshadowed by the guilt Tom feels, clawing at his heart, heavy and persistent in its certainty that he’s a lousy partner.
He can handle being a bad guy, but a bad man? A bad brother, bad friend, or bad lover? The opinions of the guards mean nothing to him, and neither does the law, but when it comes to the people he cares about, their opinions mean everything. Tom has let Luther get into his head, and whilst he knows that was the guard’s intention, the seed of doubt has been planted. As he pumps iron, he feels it grow, taking root, blooming taller.
“Holland. Time to go.”
He grunts as he stands. Sweaty and sore, Tom hobbles to the doorway, feeling considerably smaller than he had when he’d left his cell. The cuffs hurt his wrists as his hands are clasped back together, and the walk back feels even longer than before.
“You had a parcel delivered,” Luther says, breaking the silence. “It arrived last week.”
Tom’s eyebrows pull together. “Last week?”
“I thought I should hold it back until you’d settled in,” comes the patronising response. “I didn’t want to overwhelm you with too many new experiences, Thomas. Not that being in here is anything out of the ordinary for you, though.”
He feels his jaw twitch. He flexes his hand, knuckles burning for movement. Not yet, not yet. He has to wait, has to play the long game.
“You’re a dick,” Tom decides. He doesn’t care that he gets thrown roughly into the cell. He trips over the floor and barely manages to scrape himself to his feet, but he throws out a smirking “fuck you,” before the door slams shut. He’d follow it up with more snide remarks, but he becomes distracted by the sight of the parcel sitting on his bed.
It’s neat, despite the obvious intrusion into its contents by the guards. He flops onto his lower bunk, glad his cellmate is absent as it allows him to drop the ruse. Lips sagging into a frown, Tom rips open the package.
He releases a fragile sound as the contents pour across his duvet. Polaroids fall across the sheets, glistening slightly, neat and pristine. A lump comes to the back of his throat as he shuffles through them, finding images of you, Harry, Sam, Tess… The list carries on. For every person he can think of, there’s an image captured perfectly in time. He even appears in a few of them, with his hand around Haz’s shoulder or his lips pressed to your temple.
He finds a note attached at the bottom.
Tom, I thought you’d want some reminders of home while you’re away. We’re all looking forward until the day you can come home to us. Love you forever, Y/N <3
As Tom traces the edge of his nail along the outline of your face, his eyes well with hot tears. You always know what he needs, even when he doesn’t. You know him, inside out, and you’re continuing to support him, despite it all. He is indebted to you, and he knows already that as soon as he’s let out, he’ll spend every second of his life trying to repay that.
The seed of doubt burns away.
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Two weeks later, Tom finally gets to see you again.
The prison visiting room is fucking grim. Toned in sludgy shades of grey and brown, it’s about as ugly as it could be. There are window slits pressed high into the walls, but the primary source of light is from the musky bulbs set above each table. The chairs are uncomfortable, and the decor lacks inspiration. Tom often wonders if the room was designed to be as revolting as possible.
Despite this, as Tom shuffles into the room that smells suspiciously of plasticine, he couldn’t be happier. It doesn’t matter that his wrists ache from the cuffs, nor that the garish shade of orange clashes horrendously against his skin: you’re here, and that makes everything better.
You’re sitting at the table in the corner of the room, drumming your fingers pensively over the surface. His eyes catch on the glinting ring wrapped around your fourth finger, and the sense of longing that had settled in the hollowness of his chest is quickly burnt away. Sensing his movements, you glance up, and when your eyes meet with his, Tom feels his heart come home.
You raise a hand in greeting, smiling shyly, and he tries to look as non-threatening as possible. He knows the new buzzcut and the stupid get-up probably don’t help, but you don’t look at him like he’s any different.
As he draws nearer, Tom finds himself blinking a few times, questioning how long you’ve been separated. The version of you he has holed up in his memories pales in comparison to the woman that he sees before him now, but he can’t quite pinpoint why. You seem fuller somehow—vibrant, glowing, alive, your face doused in a heavenly glow and your skin bright with health. Your figure has changed slightly, and Tom can’t stop himself from running his eyes all over you, trying to memorise every tiny detail his memory had blurred away. You look so beautiful, every single part of your form enhanced and bright, and your chest—
Fuck, it’s been a long time.
“Y/N,” he exhales the moment he’s been pushed into his seat. His guard unclasps his cuffs, and Tom immediately reaches out across the table, almost moaning from relief when you wrap your fingers around his. Your skin is so warm.
“Tom,” you whisper. Emotion seeps into your voice, and he feels his chest crack as tears pool in your eyes. “Are you okay? I— I missed you.”
He hums, biting his lip. “I’m fine, baby. I’m okay. Are you?”
You nod quickly. “I’m okay too,” you say. “Things are strange without you, but we’re working around the clock to get you out of here.” You drop your voice slightly. “I think we’re near a breakthrough.”
Tom’s teeth brush his lower lip. “Good, good,” he says. “How’s Tess? And Harry, and the others? Are they looking out for you?”
“Yeah,” you say. You squeeze Tom’s hands tightly. “They’re all okay. Mainly just worried about you.”
He shrugs, trying to lessen the furrow in your brow. “‘M all good, darling,” he promises. “Don’t worry about me.”
Your eyes skate across his face. “I like your hair,” you say gently. For a moment, Tom thinks you’re going to try and reach out to touch the buzzed fuzz, but you seem to remember that anything beyond handholding is prohibited. You have to settle for a slightly suggestive smile. “It looks good on you.”
“Thanks, lovie.”
Your smile is sad but it’s still hopeful. Whatever emotions you’re feeling, it’s clear that you’re trying to smooth them away and keep them to yourself. “There’s something I wanted to tell you,” you say, easing into the words with difficulty. Tom watches as you look away, doubt casting across your face.
“What is it?” Vaguely, Tom remembers how skittish you’d been the day he’d been taken away, the memory distorted from the noise of everything else that had happened. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah.” You bite your lower lip. “Uh, just first… how are you holding up in here? Like, actually. Don’t bullshit me and play the tough guy.” Your eyes are wide and persistent. “How are you actually doing?”
Tom blinks a few times. “Fine,” he shoots immediately. He clenches your fingers tightly in his, clinging on for a moment until he exhales. “I wish I could be here for you properly, though. It worries me that I don’t know what’s happening on the outside…” He hates being left out in the dark, but it isn’t your fault. It’s his. “I wish I could be a better boyfriend to you.”
“Fiancé,” you correct, the word soft like it’d left your mouth without thought. “You’re already a good boyfriend, Tom. I knew what I was signing up for. I wanted this back then, and I still do now.”
“Still,” he grumbles. He tries to even out the heaviness of the conversation with a smile. “I think about you all the time, baby. And the others too, but… mostly you. I just hate that I’m missing out on our life together.” He has to stop for a moment as he recollects his thoughts. “I’m sorry that I did this to us, and I’m sorry I let you down.”
You crack a wry smile. “You can’t change the past, Tom. You can only affect the future.” You pause, your expression hardening. “I need to know that you’ll go slower when you get out. I know this is your life, but some things need to change. We— I need you to stay out of trouble. Do you understand?”
He nods his head immediately. “Of course, of course. I don’t ever want to get arrested again, darling.”
You drop your voice. “I’m not saying you need to quit everything, just… get better safeguards and be smarter. I love who you are, Tom, but this…” You break off to gesture around, pointing vaguely at his cuffs, the jumpsuit, and the guards. “This isn’t good for you or for me. And I love you, but I won’t stay if you don’t try.”
It’s hard to hear, but he knows it’s what he deserves to hear. He knows you deserve to stand your ground.
“I know,” Tom says gently. “I’ll get clean when I’m out, Y/N. I promise. I’ll be a good man by you.”
You squeeze his fingers tighter. “You already are,” you promise, “and I love you so much, even when you’re being an idiot.”
He laughs breathlessly. “Thank you, darling.” Tom tilts his head to the side. “What was it you wanted to say?”
Conflict briefly colours your face, manifesting itself in the arch of your eyebrow and the biting of your lower lip. You inhale sharply, only to exhale again a moment later.
“I’ll tell you when you’re out,” you say softly.
Tom scowls. There’s no anger there, just confusion. “What are you talking about? What’s going on?”
You shake your head. “I… Pretend I never said anything,” you say. You follow it up with a quick, “if I thought you needed to know, I’d tell you.”
He doesn’t want to push it, so Tom lets the topic slip away. You sit together silently for a few minutes. It’s hard to talk, difficult to express how much he misses you, how much he’s sorry. He knows that you understand—you always do, and you have similar tears wobbling across your eyes. Talking can come afterwards when he’s out and he’s free. All he needs now is the feeling of your hand back in his.
The visit is over far too soon.
Leaving you is difficult. Tom isn’t allowed to hug you or go any nearer than the linked hands on the table, but you tug at his fingers until he feels the imprint of your engagement ring rubbing against his skin. He even manages to kiss your knuckles a few times before he’s pulled up from the table and cuffed again.
“Be on your best behaviour,” you say, soft with your parting words. “The lawyer says the better you are, the easier it’ll be to get you out early.”
Tom has a bit of his spark back. Even as he’s pulled back, he manages a devious smirk. “When am I ever not on my best behaviour, darling?”
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
A few days later, Tom snaps.
To be fair, it isn’t really his fault. He’s pushed to the very verge of insanity, prodded at and provoked beyond the point of return.
It happens when he’s in the barber, huddled in the back corner of the room as he gets a new tattoo. Tom is used to the pain of the burning needles as he already has a few pieces on his arms and his hands, so he’s able to take the fresh marks to his knuckles as the ink stains black against his skin. However, he’s a bit on edge from the sharp buzzing, which is perhaps why he responds so negatively to the taunting he starts to receive. It comes from Toni and the rest of his snivelling gang. They’re all members of the East London mob, ruled over by Tom’s nemesis Gordy. Most of the time, they stick to their side and Tom sticks to his, but they’ve caught him in a vulnerable position, and Toni never seems to know how to pick his timing.
It’s basic teasing, instilled with a brutal hard edge that would phase him if Tom cared enough about their opinions of him. It doesn’t hurt him when people attack his character or his honour—Tom knows the truth about his life, and he couldn’t give two shits about an outsider’s opinion of him. However, he finds it a lot harder to grin and bear it when the man changes angle.
“Word is, a couple of our guys saw your missus out with Haz the other day,” Toni taunts. “He said they were getting real close if you know what I mean.”
Tom’s jaw flexes. The action is minute, but it doesn’t go undetected. Toni smirks.
“Eh, you don’t like that, do you?” The man steps a little closer and Tom tries to ignore him by looking down at the needle pressing into his fingers. “Don’t like the idea of your best friend hanging around your wife. Can you even trust them?” He breaks off, laughing coolly. “They think you’re so stupid, did you know that? You’ll get out of here, and they’ll have cut you out of everything—”
“Shut the fuck up,” Tom murmurs. He flexes his right hand, shaking out his knuckles. With every passing day, he’s felt tetchier. He can feel his anger burning, churning deep within his stomach, growing brighter, harder. He knows he shouldn’t lean into it, but… He wants to. He craves that rush of the fight, selfishly so.
“But she’s not your wife, is she? You aren’t actually married. Have you ever thought that maybe she’s just using you? Maybe they all are? Look at you, Tom.” Toni breaks off to throw a disdainful hand in Tom’s direction. “You are so weak in here… How are any of your guys going to respect you when their leader can’t even stay out the slammer?”
The guy tattooing Tom’s hand finally pulls away, glancing up at him with knowing in his eyes. “You’re done,” he says. “Don’t do anything with that hand, though.”
“Thanks, man.”
Tom stands up, Toni mirroring him. The man looms in front of him, 6’2 and stocky. He’s larger than Tom in every respect, but he’ll never be the bigger man.
“Get out of my way,” Tom sneers.
“Make me, twat.” Toni smirks. “Or are you too much of a pussy to follow through on that as well?”
Tom sees red. Acting on the edge of adrenaline, he pounces, rushing the man and jumping with so much unexpected force that the larger man goes tumbling to the floor. Tom hears the shouts of the guards, but they pale in comparison to his need to straddle the man’s chest and make him pay. With each meeting of his fist with Toni’s face, Tom feels better. He’s never been an excessively violent person, but old habits die hard, and it’s so, so, so fucking easy to pummel the guy who dared breath an uncomplimentary word in his family’s direction. Tom would put the whole city six feet under if they so much as breathed wrong around his loved ones, so really, Toni had it coming.
The prison guards don’t agree.
He ends up in solitary, and when he’s put back into the normal population, Tom is given restrictions. He isn’t allowed visitors for a fortnight, and his calls are reduced to once a week. All other privileges he’d had are taken away again, and he’s relegated to the very bottom of the pecking order.
It’s still worth it.
When he’s finally allowed visitors again, Tom is surprised to learn that his next meeting isn’t with you or his lawyer. Things only make sense when he shuffles into the meeting room and sees his right-hand man settled in the corner, and if Tom had found the room drab before, it appears even more depressing with the addition of the blond man sitting in it. Harrison sucks the life from the room, any hints of happiness at being reunited with his friend overshadowed by the pinched expression on his face.
The guards don’t let Tom take off his cuffs. He has to sidle into the chair, falling into the heavy silence as he places his hands on the table. Metal links click, and Harrison just stares. He stares, and stares, and stares, his blue eyes almost black.
“So,” Tom eventually says. “Hello.”
Harrison’s jaw twitches. He brings his hands to rest on the top of the table, flexing them as he takes a moment to find the right words. “Tom,” he says, speaking very slowly. “You are a twat.”
He blinks. “Wow,” Tom mutters, chuckling slightly. “Okay. Good to see you too, mate.”
“Do you…” Harrison breaks off, groaning. His forehead develops angry ripples. “Do you understand how detrimental this has been to your case?”
Tom bites his lip, shaking his head slightly.
“You’ve been pushed to the bottom of the pile,” Harrison says, voice controlled but simmering with unspoken anger. “We were about to get your appeal passed for early release.” He sits back, crossing his arms as he shakes his head. “There’s been a penalty applied due to your stint in solitary. Your case won’t be assessed until it’s lifted.”
Tom feels his stomach drop. “Shit,” he mutters. “That’s not ideal.”
“No. No, it’s not.” Harrison sits forward, leaning on his hands. “You are a bloody idiot. Stop acting like a child… Why… Why did you even attack him? You must have known this would happen. Are you stupid?”
He doesn’t like the patronisation in his tone. Tom’s already beat himself up enough about this in solitary. He doesn’t need Harrison questioning his judgements, doesn’t appreciate his friend breathing down his neck so obviously.
“He deserved it,” Tom says firmly. “I would do it again.”
“You can’t. You absolutely cannot.”
“I think you’ll find that I can, Harrison.” There’s a stupid smirk on his lips now. Tom’s missed being a little shit to his friends. He knows it’s not the time, but he’s vibrating. The callous concoction of shame, anger and isolation make him volatile and abrasive. “I’m pretty sure I can do whatever the fuck I want, actually.”
The expression that mars Harrison’s face looks very out of place against his demeanour. The man is in a long black trench coat with a tight grey turtleneck layered beneath it. He has a few pendants hanging from his neck, the gold metal bringing out the warm tones in his curls, mussed in a way that screams of old charm and perfect romance. Harrison’s illusion of control falters only under the pressure of the anger that manifests itself so clearly on his face.
“Tom.” Harrison bangs his fist on the table. The ring wrapped around his pinky clangs against the wood. “You can’t keep this up. If you do, the case gets pushed further, and that is unacceptable.”
Tom scowls. “Well, Haz, last time I checked, I was the one who has to deal with the consequences of my actions. Not you.” He can’t stand the expression of condescension hanging over Harrison’s face. “If I want to throw a few punches, I bloody well will. You have no idea what it’s like in here. No idea at all.”
Harrison’s angered expression fades a little, but only for a moment. When Tom hardens the curve of his eyebrow, Harrison devolves into irritation again, almost snarling as he narrows his eyes. “Your actions affect everyone in your life,” he snaps. “Stop pretending you’re the only one paying for the things that you’ve done.”
“I’m the one with the cuffs, Harrison. I’d say I’m paying considerably more than anyone else.”
He shakes his head. “Yeah? Tell that to the men who had their property searched and their possessions seized. Tell that to your family, who continue to be pulled in for questioning. Tell that to Y/N, who—” he breaks off awfully quickly, cheeks flushing slightly. “Nevermind.”
Tom’s blood goes cold. “Y/N?” he repeats sharply. “What about Y/N?”
“Nothing.”
He sits up straighter. “What about Y/N, Harrison?”
“Nothing.”
Tom is angry now. “Tell me right now or god help me, I will find a way to kill you.”
Harrison rolls his eyes, then covers the movement with a sigh. “I can’t. It isn’t my place.” He seems regretful as he jumps in to add, “she’s fine. She just needs you. We all do.”
The guilt returns. It falls over Tom like a wet blanket, extinguishing his frustration and leaving him cold. “Does she… Does she hate me?” He’s looking down at his cuffs.
“What— no. No, Tom.” Harrison looks guilty for the first time, but at least he isn’t confirming Tom’s deepest insecurities. “Nothing like that at all. Just… Listen to me, alright? You need to behave. I know it’s hard in here, I know that, and I understand it must be frustrating. You just… You can’t let that rule you, Tom. You have to look at the bigger picture. You need to come home, and the sooner the better.”
It’s easier said than done, but he knows Harrison is earnest with it.
“Fine,” Tom grumbles. “I’ll behave.”
Harrison nods. “Thanks, mate,” he mutters. “We all miss you, myself included.” He glances up at him, eyes finally back to the cool blue tones Tom grew up beside. “It isn’t the same without you around.”
Tom manages a tight smile. “I miss you too.”
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
IT’S BEEN THREE MONTHS since Tom was taken away, and you are miserable.
Every day has been the same. You wake up, nauseous and alone, always on Tom’s side of the bed despite forcing yourself to fall asleep on your own. The mornings are a blur of paperwork and phone calls that follow you into the afternoon. You work around the clock, Harrison, Harry and Sam at your side as you go over Tom’s case, again and again, only stopping when night falls, and one of you throws in the towel.
You had been so close to springing him until he’d gone and got himself demoted to solitary, and there’s not a morning that you don’t think about that. You’d submitted the appeal, stacked full of so much evidence that there was no way the judge would deny him freedom, only for Tom to get into a fistfight the day before the hearing. Just like that, the floor had vanished from beneath your feet.
You’d taken it badly, the others too. Losing Tom to the judge’s gavel had been hard enough, but for his escape to be taken away by his own actions hurt a thousand times worse. You know it’s worse for him, being alone in a cell, but that doesn’t stop the bitterness seeping into your mouth every time you think about the lost chance. Harry and Sam had been incensed, their anger fuelled by the void of a missing brother, and you know Harrison’s frustration comes from similar veins.
Even now that Tom’s served his time in solitary, the frustration lingers on, manifesting itself in the way none of you could decide who should go and visit him first. Under normal conditions, you would’ve been there in a heartbeat, but… Things have been complicated, even without recent events, more so than they’d been when you’d visited two months ago. When Harrison had bitten the bullet and volunteered himself, all of you had been more than happy to let him go.
He’d left this morning, and the house has been quiet ever since.
You’re sitting up in one of the spare rooms as you wait for Harrison to return, your back aching and your mind spinning. You twirl the rings on your fingers as you think, taking turns alternating between your engagement ring and the silver signet rings you’d taken from Tom’s dresser. Keeping him close makes everything easier. You’d take any reminder of him you could get, be that his rings, his shirts, his cologne, or…
The baby.
You shift a hand down to sit on the swell of your belly. Tears prick your eyes as you let them close, a frustrated sigh tumbling past your lips.
You’re four months pregnant, and that throws a spanner in the works.
Sure, you would’ve tried equally as hard to get Tom released under normal conditions, but the biological countdown that has now been sprinkled into the mix has only given everything an air of desperation. Even if it isn’t you vocalising what everyone else is thinking, the fervour to get Tom out before it’s too late is there. You can see it in the way Harrison never lets you go anywhere unaccompanied, and Harry and Sam have been working nonstop to get their brother’s freedom. Everyone around you is aware of how vital Tom’s release is, even when the man himself remains oblivious.
Exhaling gently, you shift around on the cosy armchair. The nursery smells of fading paint, and as you move around, you glance at the messy borders of the walls. The sex of your baby is still a mystery to you, but a few days ago, the twins had freshened up the room with a shade of light green whilst you and Harrison were in court. Neither of them is particularly artistically inclined, but they’d done a pretty decent job, all things considered.
Tom’s family have all been good to you—very kind. You haven’t felt alone, even with half your heart locked away in the outskirts of London. It just hasn’t been the idyllic pregnancy you’d dreamt about with your fiancé.
Guilt falls across you as you look down at the rising swell of your belly.
It’s been hard trying to decide whether or not to tell Tom what you’d tried to come clean about three months ago, down by the Thames. You’d wanted to tell him when you’d gone to visit him, but you couldn’t find the heart to come clean and admit that he’s missing out on the one thing he’s waited for his entire life. Telling him would hurt him immensely, and he’s already hurting being away from you. You don’t want to tell him until he can be part of it, and with that uncertainty present, you’ve kept your lips sealed.
Visiting him today in place of Harrison is all you really wanted to do, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You’re vulnerable and explosive, and you want to come clean to Tom when the situation is better. There would be nothing worse than storming into that dingy meeting room, flaunting your obvious pregnancy but being too distracted by your anger at your fiancé to explain everything else. You won’t hurt him like that by taunting him with the one thing he wants but can’t have. You refuse to.
All you can do is hope that he forgives you for holding the information back, pray that he understands your motivations, and, above all, hold onto the hope that he’s there when your child comes into the world.
“Y/N? Where are you?”
Blinking yourself from your reverie, you look up through the open door.
“In here, Sam.”
A moment later, Tom’s younger brother appears in the doorway. The man looks as exhausted as you feel, deep shadows hanging beneath his hazel eyes. When he sees you, his mouth pulls into a small smile and he lifts his hand in greeting, and you can tell that he’s trying. You try to match him by sitting up a little straighter and smiling back.
“Hey,” he says. “I was just… bored, I guess. Thought I’d come and check on you.” Doubt briefly flickers across his face. “Is that okay? Are you busy?”
“I’m bored too,” you admit. You stand from the armchair and groan as you stretch your arms, your stiff back aching. “Do you want to do something?”
Sam grins. “Fuck yeah,” he says. “Can we try the mural?”
Wincing, you manage a smile. “Okay… But if it looks terrible, I will paint over it.”
“As if. I’m the artistic one here, Y/N. Just be glad Harry’s still away.”
“Did someone mention me?” Harry’s voice rings through the air, startling you. With a hand clutching your heart, you look to your side in time to see Sam’s twin taking his place at your side. Where Sam is in a shirt and tie, Harry is clad in a pair of deep denim dungarees. He offers you a rusty smile. “We’re just filling in these lines, yeah?”
Sam’s the one to nod. He gestures at the wall and you notice the faint outlines, scratched in pencil. “Be precise,” he informs, “it took me bloody ages sketching it.”
Harry rolls his eyes, shooting you a silent smirk. “Yes, sir,” he mutters. “Anything you want, sir.”
“Fuck off.”
Harry pulls a face. “Well,” he says, looking at you pointedly, “I hope you’re keeping a record of how many times Sam is swearing around the baby, Y/N.”
Brows furrowing, you pick up a paintbrush. “Why would I be doing that?”
The ginger grins. “Just betters my case for being the better uncle,” he says.
“Oh, what? Don’t you mean the boring uncle?” Sam chides, bristling beside you.
Harry laughs. “I will be the favourite uncle. I don’t care what you say, Sammy. Both of us know it.”
Rolling your eyes at the argument you’ve heard a thousand times before, you give them both a nudge. “Shh,” you plead. “Paint, don’t fight.”
Sam shoots you a soft smile. “Yes, ma’am.”
With a smile lingering on your lips, you watch as Harry puts on one of his playlists, then relax as the three of you get to work. None of you say anything, but the air is full enough—tickled to life with Sam’s quiet whistling and the sound of paintbrushes thick against the wall. You concentrate on the intricate details of the mural, like the outlines of the clouds and the spirals of the grass, and marvel at how wonderful it is to be so content in silence. It’s indicative of how tight your bond has grown, you think.
No longer despising solitude, you’ve found a comfortable middle ground around the men. You and Tom’s inner circle have learned to work together well, stringing together complex case files as you’ve organised accounts. Nothing you’ve been doing recently is legal, but you would’ve left a long time ago if you genuinely cared about the law. You can stomach a few fixed accounts if it means Tom gets to walk free—you can stomach a whole lot more than that, actually, for Tom. You’d set the whole world on fire just to see him smile.
Like the splotchy mural covering the walls, your team has got the job done. Your case for the court is watertight, if a little messy, but you know it’ll be enough to spring Tom. It has to be. You need him, and your child needs him. Everyone in the house needs him.
“Guys? Where are you?” Harrison’s voice joins the mix just as you’re stretching up to flick a few rays of gold into the sun. Harry is at your feet, crouching on the balls of his feet as he tries to paint a few red flowers to the sprigs of grass.
“Nursery,” Harry calls out.
A few moments later, Harrison joins you. You fail to meet his eyes as the focused man sweeps into the room, billowing coat swirling around his feet. His expression is terse as he jerks off his jacket and grabs a paintbrush, dipping the tip in a bit of sky blue paint before standing at the end. You don’t rush him. He’s vibrating with something, his face flushed and his eyes dark, so you give him space.
A few minutes pass, illustrated by Harry’s playlist and the colours of the rainbow. Just when you’re beginning to worry, Harrison speaks.
“Tom is an idiot,” he states, drawing a laugh from one of the twins.
You bite your lip. “Did you explain?” you ask.
Harrison nods. He glances at you, and you note the fleck of purple paint pressed into the pale arc of his cheek. “He said he wouldn’t do it again,” he tells you. “He was angry, though. I think he’s having a bad time.”
Harry hums. “It’s hard in there,” he mumbles. “Was he still himself?”
The blond nods. “Yeah,” he says. “As snarky as ever.”
Sam smirks. “That’s Tom, alright.”
“Good news, though,” Harrison adds. “I went to the courthouse on my way back.”
“Oh?” You look away from your cloud, your heart skipping a beat. “And?”
“And,” Harrison continues, a semblance of a smile twitching across his lips, “I submitted the appeal again. They said they’d probably process it next week. So, if things go according to plan this time, he might be out by next Friday.”
You almost drop your paintbrush. Eyes widening, you turn to face him properly. “Wait, really?”
Harrison’s expression softens. “Yeah.” He puts his paintbrush down, tugging yours from your fingers as if he can tell you’re close to dropping it. “He’s almost out, Y/N.”
Relief spills across you, uncontrollable and overwhelming. Closing your eyes before those easy tears can fall down your cheeks, you step closer and push your way into Harrison’s embrace. He’s ready and waiting for the action, eager to comfort his friend.
“Thank you,” you whisper. Harrison’s chest is warm, and though his hugs aren’t as good as Tom’s, you’ve come to rely on them. You’ve come to rely on all of them. “That’s amazing news.”
“Mhmm.” He squeezes you. “This nightmare is almost over.”
“Thanks, man,” Harry speaks up. You pull away from Harrison’s hold when you hear the quivering tones in his voice, quickly glancing to the man to find him glassy-eyed and flushed. Biting your lip, you extend a hand towards him.
A group hug unfolds, as it’s had the tendency to do since Tom was taken away. The first time had been stoic and cool, with frozen elbows and embarrassed shuffling, but slowly, each one of them has loosened. They’re tough men, burdened and hard, but love ties them to you, and at your request, you know they’d do anything for you. You also know that they all enjoy the physical comfort more than they’d ever let on.
It’s been hard without Tom, and you’d do anything to have him back, but if there’s anything his absence has taught you, it’s that his brothers have become your brothers as his best friend has become your own, and you’ve never really been alone.
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Tom’s release day comes quickly, hidden behind the retrial and the quick-paced days in court. It’s busy at the trial, and spaces are limited, so Harry and Sam attend in place of you and Harrison. You get them to take in a few letters for Tom and pass on your condolences for your absence, but you don’t allow yourself to get too hung up on it. When Tom’s release is announced, the weight that rolls from your shoulders is immediate.
As you wait outside the prison, you try to find solace in the rays of the mid-afternoon sun. It’s quiet in the car park, allowing you to ruminate in peace, and though you’re comfortable resting against the bonnet of Tom’s car, your thoughts are far from restful.
Anxiety weighs heavily in your chest, mixing with your excitement and creating a volatile concoction. You find yourself pacing, biting back your nerves as you try to reason with yourself. Draped around your shoulders is a long coat that obscures your bump, chosen as you’ve decided you don’t want to overwhelm Tom with too many things at once. You hope it does the job. The coat twitches in the wind as you walk, noisy and obnoxious.
Things around you are still until there’s a sudden, loud buzzing noise from the prison compound. You jerk your head around to see two men leaving the main building, small in the distance but gradually growing larger. They’re still enclosed in the fenced courtyard, but they’re on their way to the exit, and every rational thought you have flies from your mind as you see him. Tom. Your Tom.
He’s in the clothes he’d been arrested in—red shirt, black slacks, shiny shoes. Looped around his hands is his Rolex and his rings. Tom seems almost identical to how he’d been on that cursed day, just his head is buzzed and he looks a little smaller. He’s carrying himself with confidence, though, and when he looks fervently around the car park and spots you, his entire face swells with happiness. The sight of that large, lovely smile hanging from his lips brings immediate warmth to your eyes.
Every breath is easier now you have him in your sights. Overwhelming love gluts your insides, warm and emotive, choking you up. It takes everything in you to stay still as you wait for Tom to finish talking with his guard, a tall man you recognise from all of his stories, Luther. Tom’s smirking in a way that’s obviously infuriating, and the guard doesn’t hesitate to give him a light punch as your boyfriend saunters out of prison, leaving the compound with a swagger to his stride and a smile the size of Saturn.
The sight of Tom jogging towards you breaks you from your reverie, and you push yourself away from the car to meet him somewhere in the middle. Nothing matters until you’re colliding with his front, finding warmth in his arms, feeling his entire body shake as his tears fall into your hair. Nothing matters unless it’s him.
“I missed you so much,” you whisper. Your grip on the back of Tom’s shirt is hard, a violent sprawling across your knuckles, but you won’t let go. You’re giddy with love. “Fuck, Tom, I missed you so, so much.”
You pull away from his chest and look into his eyes, your lower lip wobbling as you note the fresh tears on his face. You use your thumbs to brush beneath his cheeks, flicking away the tears as you clean up his handsomeness.
“I missed you so much more,” he promises. Tom brings a hand to rest on the back of your head, breath hitching as he meets your eyes. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
He kisses you, and it’s so intense you end up pressed against the side of the car. Tom moans with relief as he strokes his fingers over the side of your face, delicately reacquainting his lips with yours as they meet again and again. You keep your hands gliding over his back, his arms, his shoulders, letting your tongues come together as tears flow down your cheeks. The kiss is everything and nothing, familiar and new. The kiss says I missed you. It says I thought about you every day. It says I would wait a thousand dawns if it meant I got to wake up beside you again, but thank fucking god you’re here right now because I missed you more than I ever thought was possible.
“Baby,” Tom murmurs. He pulls away but keeps your foreheads pressed together, the cool tip of his nose brushing yours. “You’re so perfect. I missed you so much that it hurt me.”
He tries to move closer, but you become aware of the pressure to your belly, so bring a gentle hand to push his shoulder away. Hurt immediately floods to his eyes, his expression twitching as Tom takes a few steps back.
“Tom,” you say, voice soft. “I need to tell you something.”
Tom’s jaw twitches. “What is it?” he whispers.
“A good thing,” you clarify. You reach up to wipe the residue of your tears away, then bring your hands down to the tie of your jacket. Biting your lip, you take a steadying breath. “I hope you aren’t angry that I didn’t tell you sooner,” you preface, “but I did it for you.”
Tom nods intensely. “Okay,” he says. “It’s okay. Whatever it is, it’s fine. I’m… I’m here, okay? For anything. It’s me and you. Just… me and you forever.”
A smile flickers across your face. “Me and you, and…” You gently open the front of your coat, then reach out for Tom’s hands. Guiding them slowly, you bring the warmth of his palms to rest on the rise of your bump.
“Wait…” Tom shifts his hands around your belly before staring up at you, slack-jawed. He doesn’t try to hide the obvious tears in his eyes. “You’re…?”
Nodding your head is easier than trying to speak.
“Oh god.” Tom sniffles. “What?” He immediately drops to his knees in front of you, his fancy dress trousers getting dirty in the dust. “How— how far along?”
“Almost five months,” you whisper. “I found out right before you got back from Liverpool. I was going to tell you when we went on that date, but…”
“But I fucked up.” Tom sounds wrecked, his aching eyes fixed on the curve of your belly. “I fucked everything up. I… I left you alone for this entire time, and you had to do this all without me.” He rests his forehead against your bump, very, very gently, and you see him close his eyes. “I am a terrible partner.”
Rolling your fingers over the scruff of his hair, you guide him up to look at you. It’s second nature as you roll a thumb over his cheekbone, trying to instil the action with love and reassurance.
“I’m not angry,” you tell him. “You didn’t know, and you didn’t get arrested on purpose. If anything, you should be angry at me for keeping this a secret.” Your teeth catch your lower lip. “I didn’t want to hurt you, but I thought telling you would only make things worse. I’m sorry.”
Tom shakes his head. “No, no. Don’t apologise.” He rests a hand on your leg, the other still on the curve of your front. “I’m sorry.” He drops his voice and looks at the bump. “And I’m sorry to you too, little one.” He nudges his mouth forward and deposits a soft kiss to your stomach. “I love you too.”
Digging one of your hands into your coat pocket, you pull out a photo. “Here,” you urge, handing it to your boyfriend. Tom takes it after a moment, his eyes slow to move away from your front.
He releases a noise somewhere between an exclamation and a choke, nimble fingers gripping the image from your ultrasound. His cheeks flush a brilliant rose.
“When was this?” he whispers.
“At three months,” you reply. You continue to run your hand over the top of his head, trying to soothe him as he absorbs so much information at once. “I went with my mum and Haz.”
“Haz?”
You nod. “Harry and Sam lost a bet.”
Tom hums. He looks between the photo and your bump, then nudges forward to kiss the rise again. His lips are so warm you can feel them through the material of your dress. “Have they been looking after you well enough?”
A light laugh slips past your lips. “Yeah,” you promise. “They helped so much, Tom. It was hard at first… Really hard. Especially when we thought you’d be in there for five years, but… Things worked out.” You have to pause to gather your thoughts. “We converted one of the rooms into a nursery. There’s still stuff left to do, and we can do that together, of course, but… They were all really helpful.”
“Good.” Tom looks up at you, still kneeling, and your hand slips down to cup his face. “I’m sorry,” he adds. “I wish I could’ve been here for all of this.”
Shrugging gently, you squeeze his face. “You can be here for the rest of it,” you promise. “And, I guess… If we have another one, you’ll be there for all of that, right?”
“Of course, darling.” You smile as Tom tilts his lips to knock against the side of your palm.
“So it’s okay.”
“Are you sure?”
Chuckling softly, you nod. “Yes,” you promise. “I love you, and I’m so happy this has happened for us, even if the timing was difficult.” Feeling yourself well up, you exhale slowly. “We’re going to be parents, Tom. Isn’t that crazy?”
“It’s brilliant.” Tom’s eyes sparkle. “I’m going to be a father.” He blinks. “What the fuck.”
Laughing, you move your hands to the crown of his head. “Yeah, it’ll take a while to get used to that.”
“I’ll get there,” he states. Tom returns his attention to the bump. “Hey, little one,” he coos, voice all silk and amber tones, “it’s going to be the biggest honour of my life being your dad.”
Tom spends a while at your feet, speaking softly to you and your bump, and you keep your hand resting on the back of his head. He’s weary when he finally climbs to his feet but regains some of that spark when you step forward to kiss him. You don’t mean to make it as heated as you do, but it hasn’t only been your heart that’s missed Tom. You’ve craved him, constantly, during every single lonely night, and now that he’s here, you’re willing to take everything you can get.
“I love you,” you say, hushed against his mouth.
Tom’s teeth brush over your lower lip, and you moan when he tugs. There’s a fervour to it, hot lust burning through sensitive emotions. He releases your lip and pulls back to stare at you, his eyes rippling darker.
“I love you too,” he murmurs. He brings his hands to your waist, pulling you closer. “I love everything about you.”
Your mouths come back together, and it’s messier than before, your lips wettening as your kisses become wilder. Tongues dance and teeth clash as your body temperature starts to rise. Now you’ve moved through the emotional reunion, you’re left with an underlying pulse—a heat throbbing persistently between your legs. The fire builds as you hear Tom’s grunts and feel the desperation in his hands when they grab at your sides and jerk you closer, his mouth devouring yours until your lips are puffy and tender. You’re greedy, chasing more, desiring everything you’ve missed out on in the months you’ve been apart from your lover.
“Darling,” Tom murmurs, breaking the kiss to whisper hotly against your lips, “I missed you, but if you keep this up, we’re not going to get home.”
Desire takes hold of you. “Who said I wanted to go home?” You push in closer, shifting slightly until you’re able to feel the hardness of his crotch pressing up against your thigh. The familiarity of it all makes you inhale sharply. You drop your tone, trying to seem coy as you speak, “I don’t think you understand how badly I needed you whilst you were away, Tom. I missed you.”
The tips of his teeth glint as he arches his brows. “Well…” Tom mumbles. “I owe you about four months of lost opportunities.” He swallows, briefly breaking from the lust-filled headspace to look guilty. You smooth it away by reaching down to squeeze at his hands. “If my radiantly stunning fiancé decides she wants me to start repenting for that now, then who am I to stop her?”
Rolling your eyes, you step away from the car. “You’re a suck-up,” you taunt. You plant a light kiss to his lips. “C’mon,” you urge. “The car.”
He wiggles his eyebrows. “The backseat?” he teases. “Shit, angel. You must be desperate.”
Warmth tickles your face. “Shut up.”
Tom smirks deviously. “It’s okay,” he soothes. He darts forward to open the car door for you, resting his hand on your lower back as you step forward. “I’m just as desperate as you, baby.”
“I hate you,” you murmur. Tom follows you into the car, shutting the door behind you both. You wait for him to sit before straddling his lap, your legs stretching until you have a shin planted on either side of his thighs. The position is comfortable, with enough space between your bump and his chest for you to breath, and you whimper as Tom bends nearer to ghost his lips over yours.
“No, you don’t,” he murmurs.
You want to tease him, but you couldn’t even if you wanted to. You’re alright with too much adoration to even think about pressing it down.
“I really don’t,” you agree.
Tom makes a soft noise of vindication, the tip of his nose brushing yours for just a moment until he’s bearing down and bringing your lips together. You sigh, reaching up and urging him closer. His lips are lovely, and you enjoy kissing them for a while, but then you find yourself distracted by the open expanse of his neck. With his hair buzzed, you’re keenly aware of his throat, pale and sensitive, and if there’s one thing you remember about your boyfriend, it’s his affinity for lovebites.
You bring your lips to the side of his neck, nuzzling your mouth against the long, pale stretch of his throat. Smirking against his skin, you start to suckle deep hickeys against the side of his neck, revelling in the throaty gasps Tom deposits into the air in response.
“Fuck, darling,” Tom whines. He has a hand on your back, urging you closer. When you graze the tips of your teeth against his skin, he whimpers. “Shit. More.”
“More?” you tease. “Forgotten all your manners, Tom?”
He growls. The hand on your back shifts to the back of your head, and he jerks you ever closer. He’s still mindful, especially of the bump laying between you, but he knows just as well as you that you aren’t a piece of porcelain; you like being tugged around. You’ve missed it.
“Give me what I want, and maybe I’ll return the favour.” He says it like you’re oblivious to the desperation in his words. You decide to oblige him.
“Okay,” you murmur. You look up to meet his gaze, his honey-brown eyes full of appreciation. For a moment, it knocks you off balance. It’s so strange readjusting to having Tom back—almost overwhelming to be able to touch someone who had existed only in your memories for so many weeks. You drop your head and give him what he wants.
Tom’s skin tastes clean, and it smells distantly of pinecones. He groans, fisting at your hair and holding you close as you kiss and suck along his skin, drawing deep hues to the surface of his neck. He shifts in his seat, basking in the pain and whining every time you soothe a fresh mark with the warmth of your tongue. You keep your hand resting on his hair, the cropped length of his buzz prickly and coarse beneath the pads of your fingertips.
“Oh god yeah,” he murmurs, voice mingling with the wet noises coming from your lips. “Your mouth is so fucking good, baby. I missed it.” Grunting, he brings a hand to your waist, squeezing the flesh of your hips hard. “I thought about you all the time in there.”
Tom releases his hold on your hair and begins to stroke his hands over your back. As you continue to mark his neck, he starts to tease you, gradually dropping the heat of his palms lower and lower. You can’t stop yourself from bucking down into his hold, moaning against his neck as he grabs handfuls of your ass.
“Tom,” you break off to whimper, panting softly. You feel dizzy on the taste of his skin. “You’re being mean.”
“Mean?” you can hear the smirk in his voice. “How am I being mean?” Tom squeezes the curves of your figure, his slender fingers warm against your skin. You’re in a dress, the material thin, and he doesn’t hesitate to curve his hands beneath the hem and bring them to rest over your panties. “You’re the one who wanted to come in here and get your hands all over me… I’m doing what you asked.” He breaks off, chuckling darkly. “That’s not how things usually work, though, is it?”
The air between you shifts.
You pull away from Tom’s neck, your mouth inflamed and throbbing. You have to dig your teeth into your lower lip to muffle your whimper when Tom brings a hand to the front of your legs, gently brushing two of his long fingers over the front of your panties. He’s teasing with it, eyes alight with deviousness, jaw set in a determined line.
“I don’t know,” you whisper. “Maybe I want to be in charge this time.”
Tom laughs gently. “Oh, yeah?” He rubs your cunt a little faster, causing you to suck in a sharp breath as you feel the delicate pressure on your clit. The contact makes your passage clench, growing wet enough to dampen the front of your panties. “So you don’t like this, hmm? You don’t want me to follow through on everything I have planned for you?”
“What have you got planned?”
He tuts. “Oh, I’m not going to tell you, angel. That’d be too easy. Either you want me to be in charge, or you decide to call the shots.” Tom smirks as he feels you buck down against his hand. Maybe if the circumstances were different, you’d find the strength to push back, but you don’t. It’s been so long, and your cunt is weeping already just from the husky tones in his voice.
“You’re in charge,” you whisper. The vindicated smirk he flashes in response is enough to send shivers down your spine.
“Damn right, baby.” Tom moves his hands away, pressing them to your waist instead. “Can you lay down for me, please?”
You shuffle across the car seat as instructed, Tom shifting until he’s kneeling in the footwell of the backseats. It’s a good thing the car is obscenely huge, otherwise, the already-cramped fit would be unworkable.
Draping your legs over Tom’s shoulders, he pushes the hem of your dress up, bunching it just above your bump. The hungry fire in his eyes fades slightly.
“Is this okay? Are you comfy?”
“It’s fine,” you soothe. “Are you okay down there?”
Tom nods. The scruff of his buzzed head scratches against your inner thighs. “I’m bloody perfect,” he responds. “Can I touch you?”
“Please do.”
The tip of his nose nuzzles against your covered clit. “Perfect,” Tom purrs, his breath hot against your panties. “I think it’s time I remind you who owns this fucking pussy… As hot as it was when you were trying to tell me what to do, it’s not on.” He brings his mouth away from your core, and you whimper as his tongue laps gently across your thigh, the muscle deliciously slippery. “I’m the one calling the shots.”
You’re throbbing, every inch of you aching for his touch. The burn is visceral—pulsing, wet. “Yes, sir,” you return. Tom’s eyes snap to yours. “Do whatever you want.”
“Say please.”
Swallowing the dryness in your throat, you add, “please.”
“Good, baby. You sound so pretty begging for me.” Tom easily pulls your panties down your legs, returning to push your thighs further apart. He brings both of his thumbs to your sensitive lips, humming when you whimper. Using the pads of his fingers, he gently parts your centre, groaning softly at the sight. “Say it,” he murmurs, entranced by the paradise between your legs. “Tell how badly you want me.”
He’s incredibly infuriating, but you play right into his hand. “Please, Tom,” you whine. “Please touch me.”
He hums. “Of course, lovie,” he murmurs. He glances up at you. “All you had to do was ask.”
The first touch of his tongue against your slit makes your eyes roll back. A breathless whine slips past your lips as his mouth envelops your clit, the strong tip of his tongue nuzzling over your sensitive skin in a way you’ve only dreamed of. You’ve been able to get off in his absence, but nothing can simulate the sizzling heat of his mouth and his tongue, nor the scratching of his short hair against your fleshy inner thighs.
The way he unravels you is obscene, toned with the sounds of spit and lazy lips, the sensations of desperation. Tom devours you, using his elbows to push your thighs apart as he buries his face as close to your centre as possible. You can barely see him over the rise of your belly, but you can certainly feel him. When you start to grind down against his face, things only escalate, your eyes fluttering shut as your spine arches in response to his feverish movements.
“Oh god,” he murmurs, voice thick as it vibrates across you. “Missed this… Tastes so fucking good, sweetheart.”
Your high rolls over you suddenly and without warning, manifesting itself in a silent cry as your body goes rigid. You hear Tom hum in surprise, then feel his hands lock around your thighs, holding back your legs as they shake in the face of absolute pleasure.
“Sorry,” you pant, recovering gradually, “I didn’t know that was going to happen then.”
Tom runs his tongue over your slit, still sensitive and throbbing. “‘S okay, lovie,” he replies, voice warm. He nuzzles in closer and brings two slender fingers to push against your entrance. Your hole is hot and pulsing, pooled with your arousal. You hear it pucker as he gently presses against your cunt, teasing your entrance with his fingertips. “I’m not done making it up to you, though. Is that okay?”
Exhaling, you nod quickly. “Fuck yeah,” you say, struggling to think. “Oh.”
He slips two fingers into you, your eager walls parting and welcoming him in. Tom removes his mouth from your heat and replaces his tongue with the pad of a thumb, and when you release a loud noise of strangled enjoyment, he begins to crook his fingers into you. He strokes his digits against your walls with poise and elegance, nudging up against your g-spot and stroking, again and again, chasing the noises you release.
“So pretty,” he coos. “My pretty baby. Making all those beautiful noises.” Tom smiles almost proudly. His chin is wet with your arousal. “I love your cunt… Look at how well it's taking me.” To prove his point, he feeds a third finger alongside the others. “So greedy for me, eh? Greedy little pussy. So hot. So wet. God…”
Tom drops his head again, disappearing from your sight of vision. You moan, body jerking as you feel his tongue move around his fingers, catching the arousal that seeps from your pussy as he works you open. He releases an obscene moan before dragging his mouth to your clit, stimulating you with his hands and tongue in tandem.
“Holy fuck,” you whimper. You feel hot in the best way, your skin becoming sweaty as you writhe over the leather seat. “Feels so good, Tommy.” It feels like heaven—especially when he bends his fingers and the tips of them stroke up against your sensitive spot. “‘M gonna cum again.”
“Already?”
“Yeah.”
Tom chuckles. “I’m so good at this,” he murmurs. “Go on, angel. Don’t hold back on my account… You’re so pretty when you cum.”
The tide breaks, and your climax rolls across you, legs trembling as Tom holds you in place. You writhe as you bask in the heat, your knuckles losing blood as you clench your hands into hard fists. The press of your nails against the soft flesh of your palms hurts, but you don’t care. It feels far too good to think about anything beyond Tom.
You ride it out, and Tom eventually draws his face away from your clit. He kisses along your inner thighs as you gasp for air, only removing his fingers when you start to whimper. As good as the climaxes have felt, panting for breath on the backseat, it isn’t enough. It isn’t enough by far.
“Get up here,” you say breathlessly.
Tom chuckles as he appears from between your legs. He gives your thighs a little tap before he closes your legs, wriggling out of the footwell as you sit up. Easily, like you’ve done a thousand times before, you swing a leg over Tom’s lap, straddling him when he sits with his back against the car seat.
“Are you okay up there?” he checks, bringing his clean hand to rest on the curve of your stomach. When you nod, his brown eyes darken. “Perfect…” he hums. “Clean off my fingers, will you?”
You nod, opening your mouth expectantly and moaning as Tom slips three of his fingers between your lips. Fighting your smirk, you maintain eye contact with him, your pride swelling as you see his cheeks darken. He gently fucks his fingers into your mouth, making you moan at the movements and the taste of your heat as it spreads across your tongue. He’s messy with it, and you feel your lips and chin grow heavy from spittle.
“Pretty,” he coos, “so, so pretty.”
Tom goes to move his fingers from your mouth, only for a detail to make you pause. Eyes straining, you reach up to catch his wrist, holding his hand in place just as his fingers pull away from your lips.
“What’s this?” you query, narrowing your eyes. You drag Tom’s left hand nearer your face, gasping softly as you take note of a new tattoo resting at the bottom of his ring finger.
“Oh.” Tom shifts around slightly, biting at his lower lip. “I got your initials tattooed… When we get married, the ring will cover them, but I wanted you with me—I want you with me—all the time, even without a bit of metal.” He hesitates. “Is that okay?”
You press a delicate kiss across the letters. “Yes,” you say. You feel shy as you meet the eyes of the man who loves you so immensely. “That’s really, really sweet, Tom.” You bite your lip as you look up at him. “Gone soft on me, baby?”
“‘M always soft on you,” he says gruffly, guiding a hand to your face. He brings you closer, encouraging you to lean higher on your knees. “Love of my life, angel. You know that… My wife.”
You shift on his lap, smiling bashfully. “I’m not your wife yet.”
“Soon, soon, soon,” he whispers.
Both of you come together, no words needing to be exchanged for you to know what to do. Tom loses his clothes as you sit up a little straighter, one of your hands curling around the headrest of a seat as Tom angles himself slightly. With the rise of your bump between you, you aren’t able to be flushed together like times before, but the man beneath you is quick to readjust so he’s laying further back, giving you plenty of room to move in a way that’s comfortable. He kisses over your knuckles as you run his hard cock through your slit, his interested eyes fixed firmly on the sight of his length as you finally begin to move down.
The moment the head of his cock pushes into you feels indescribable. The ache of the stretch falls away as relief pours over you, the closeness satisfying far more than just your arousal.
“Gentle, gentle,” Tom murmurs, hand resting on your belly. “Be careful.”
You chuckle, beginning to move but only slowly. “It’s okay,” you reassure him, “it won’t hurt them.” Your eyes roll back slightly as you bring your hand down to rest on Tom’s shoulder, moaning quietly. “You can move too… Please, move.”
“Okay, darling.” Tom gently starts to move his hips. He groans as he slumps back against the seat, beautiful face coloured light pink. You’d missed the expressions he makes, how emotive the slants of his features can be. His nostrils flare and his jaw tenses as you ride him, your cunt so wet the movements are almost effortless. “That feels… so good.” His voice is hollow, gutless. “I can’t tell you how long I’ve been thinking about you. You, and your hot cunt.” He moans again, unable to sit around the words. Tom ruts into you a little harder, guiding you to move faster with the hand on your hip. “Taking me so well, darling. So fucking well. I’m not going to last at all.”
“That’s okay,” you murmur. “I won’t either.”
Tom manages a lazy smirk. He opens his eyes as he brings a hand to your clit, teasing the sensitive bud with his thumb. You jerk a little at the stimulation but start to ease into it, basking in the pleasure from the bud and Tom’s cock. He’s buried deep within you, pressing your walls apart, the curved tip of his head brushing deeper than you’ve felt in months.
“So tight,” he murmurs. Tom leans back, clearly enjoying the sight of you riding him. “My darling. You look so beautiful like this… I swear your tits are bigger, too.” The hand on your belly gently caresses the bump, Tom’s tongue briefly wandering out to wet his lower lip. “Look at how beautiful you are… I can’t wait to knock you up again.”
Stifling a moan, it takes everything in you to focus on your movements. “You feel so good, Tom,” you whimper, unable to hold back the praise he loves to hear. “I missed this so much.”
“I know, baby. I missed this too… Come on, now.” His voice hardens slightly. “I’m about to cum, but I don’t want to unless you’re right here beside me. So… will you be a good girl and finish with me? Please?”
Heat flushes through your system as you bounce your head quickly. Your eyes close, breath hitching as you feel your climax rise. It starts in the pit of your stomach, a coil pulling tighter and tighter until it bends and snaps, bursting wide and spilling pleasure across your body in warm waves of enjoyment. You cry out as you fall apart, holding Tom’s shoulder tightly as his hand clamps around your waist. You feel him mirror you, hear his loud groan as his cock pulses inside you, your movements unceasing as you ride it out together.
It ends, but you stay joined. Tom sits up, the distance put between you by your belly requiring him to stretch closer and seize your lips in a smouldering kiss. His hand returns to your cheek, yours to his, and the look in his eyes is dizzying.
“I love you so much,” he speaks, words soft like a promise. “Everything I do from here on out is for you, and…” He glances back at your stomach. “And our child.” Words thickening, you see Tom’s eyes well with tears again. He chuckles, cheeks flushing red. “Sorry,” he adds. “I get a bit choked up thinking about it.”
You stroke your fingers over the back of his hair, spiky strands smooth against your hand. “Don’t apologise for expressing your emotions, baby,” you whisper. “It’s been a very long day.”
Tom nods. “Love you,” he murmurs again. He nuzzles his head into the palm of your hand, his eyes closing.
“I love you too,” you say, words truer than they’ve ever been before. You bend down to kiss his forehead. “Do you want to go home now?”
He hums. “Y/N,” he whispers. Tom blinks up at you, eyes soft. He catches the palm of your hand with a few kisses as he sits up a little straighter. “I’m already home.”
Teeth grazing your lower lip, you hold back your smile as you marvel at how clichéd he’s become. You bend down and kiss him very gently. “Sap,” you murmur. “Love you, though.”
Tom pulls a face. He rolls his eyes, but there’s no malice—only love. “Love you too,” he says. “Yes, though,” he adds, “I would love to go home.”
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
finis
yay
that’s probably a wrap on mob!tom ! i don’t have any more fic ideas for him :( that being said, this was a lot of fun to write, and i really, really hope you liked it :D ik the theme isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, so if you read it all, i love you very very much
please let me know if you have any thoughts!!
masterlist through the link in my bio <3
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Request: Imagine being Lin Beifong’s daughter and having a crush on Iroh II
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Tags: @tincdraws
Growing up as the daughter of Lin Beifong metal and earth bending were your whole life. You learnt to earth bend by the time you could walk and your mother had you in training from a young age so you graduated from the earth bending school at the top of your class with your eyes firmly set on following in your mother’s footsteps whilst also trying to emulate your grandmother’s success. You had a sharp focus and nothing else really caught your attention. You had friends but training came first and dating seemed something superficial you could live without. Republic city was your life and you would never dream of leaving it but your mother had other ideas.
Your mother thought you needed more worldly experience before you joined the police force so she sent you to the fire nation to gain some training as an officer. She claimed the fire nation had some of the best officers in the world and that they would help you learn invaluable real-life experience. You did not agree and protested the whole thing. All your training had revolved around the needs of Republic City specifically and you couldn’t see how you’d learn anything new about how to protect your city by travelling all the way to fire nation but your mother refused to change her mind and that was that.
So you were shipped off to the fire nation fresh out of the academy. Your mother had spoken to Firelord Izumi and it was agreed you’d be staying at the palace so not only would you be unfamiliar with the environment, you’d be in a place where every small look, word or action had large consequences. You didn’t know much about the fire nation and couldn’t really recall the royal family. You were aware your grandmother was very close with the late Firelord Zuko but since then things had changed. Although your grandmother’s friends (mainly Katara) had tried to keep the group close it was hard with everyone scattered across the four nations and so with each generation the group had drifted further and further apart. You knew Firelord Izumi had a daughter older than you and a son around your age called Iroh. You recalled meeting Iroh when you were younger at some event in the south pole but couldn’t remember much more than a serious fire nation child. So you arrived on the steps of the palace utterly out of your depth determined to see these three months through so you could return to your beloved city. You were shown into the palace immediately, your belongings taken by maids who refused to let you carry them yourself as you were a royal guest. You weren’t used to finery so proceeded through the palace partly in awe and partly in utter confusion why someone needed this many paintings of old men everywhere. You were finally shown into a large room. “Ah you must be y/n Beifong” a voice called and you turned to see someone who looked vaguely familiar. You knew he wasn’t Firelord Zuko or Firelord Izumi’s husband as he was too young so figured by his royal outfit this was Izumi’s second child the prince. “Prince Iroh, it’s an honour to see you again” you said bowing and he chuckled “I bet you thought that would be a winning line with any fire nation citizen didn’t you? Because we’re still all obsessed with honour like we were centuries ago?” Iroh asked and you hesitated. “If I caused any offence...” you started but Iroh cut you off breaking out in a large smile “no I was only kidding, it is a winning line we are still obsessed with honour”. You watched as Iroh laughed at his own joke surprised, you didn’t expect the prince of the fire nation to be like this. You figured royalty lacked the ability or the clearance to have a sense of humour but apparently not. “So have I really not changed since we were eight?” Iroh asked and when you frowned he elaborated “you recognised me but the last time we met was just over ten years ago”. You paused “ow no I didn’t actually recognise you, you were young, dressed in fine clothes with royal hairpins, not to mention you’re in the palace...you had to be the prince”. “Good deductions officer” Iroh said saluting you before he grinned “i’m in training too”. That piqued your interest “really? for the fire nation army?”. He nodded “yep! I’m an officer but my hope is to be general one day and to fully earn it, rather than just get it because of who my family is...hopefully in a few years i’ll get there”. “I’m sure you will” you agreed and Iroh led you into a large dining room. “Are we dining alone?” you asked confused and Iroh smirked. “Why? Not pleased with me?” he asked and you rushed to assure him that wasn’t the case when he laughed again “I’m joking again y/n, I know my grandfather told you the whole family would be dining with you in his letter to your mother but he, my parents and sister were all called away to an urgent matter and asked me to fill in as we’re similar ages”. “Ow” you nodded “that makes sense...is everything okay?”. Iroh nodded “everything’s fine just boring fire nation stuff...so shall we?” he asked holding out his arm to you. You weren’t sure if this was appropriate so averted your eyes and only took his arm lightly. Iroh smirked at your caution and led you into the room.
The meal with Iroh was nice. He was friendly, hard-working and interesting. You soon got used to his humour and learnt not to take him too seriously. You hadn’t met many other people your age who shared your passion for a military career and found it was nice, a sentiment Iroh apparently shared. He enquired what you were doing the rest of the week and when you replied nothing as training didn’t start for another week he soon had several of your days planned out with fire nation sights to show you. Iroh seemed to understand you didn’t know much about the fire nation so planned to take you to all the important sites as well as areas relevant to the army to peak both your interests. You enjoyed the prince’s tours greatly and even when training did start you continued meeting with Iroh regularly. You liked his company and were surprised that didn’t fade the more time you spent with him, if anything it grew more and more. You thought he’d be a spoilt entitled prince but he was kind and considerate pleasantly surprising you.
You didn’t become aware that you liked Iroh as anything more until one of your friends at the academy pointed it out. Since starting training you were progressing well, you achieved high grades and were held in high esteem by your fellow recruits. You had made some friends and often trained with them after the academy retired for the day. After a long training session you were heading to the palace when one of your friends called out to you “hey y/n some of us were going into town to celebrate our class’s good progress, do you want to come?”. You smiled pleased they wanted you to come when you remembered you couldn’t go “I’d love to Shani but sorry I can’t I have plans”. “Of course you do” she smirked as your other friend Aizori grinned “is it with Iroh by any chance”. “Actually it is” you said frowning at their shared look “why?”. “Ow nothing just it’s not every day your friend is dating the crowned prince”. “Me and Iroh are not dating!” you cried “our families are old friends that’s all”. “Uh...hu, if that’s true then what are your plans together may we ask?”. “We’re attending a party at the palace”. “Together?” Shani asked and you blushed “yes but he only asked me because it’s a formal event that’s apparently really boring so he wanted a friend there, trust me we’re not dating”. “But how can you resist?” Aizori asked “I’ve only seen the prince a handful of times but he seems to get better looking every single time! How don’t you get lost in those golden eyes and that chiselled jaw? The royal family has some amazing genes not even a Beifong can resist”. You paused considering it. For you looks weren’t very important so you didn’t tend to notice them. You held work ethic and determination as much higher priorities and Iroh scored very highly in both but in looks...you honestly couldn’t say. “I’m not sure I’ve noticed” you admitted and the girls rolled their eyes not believing you.
When you arrived back at the palace your friend’s words were ringing in your head and when you next saw Iroh something felt different. You took note of his looks and were surprised by what you’d found. Iroh was attractive, very attractive, how had you missed that? You stared at Iroh wondering if his eyes had always been that bright? Was his jaw always that sharp? His hair that good regularly when he frowned “why are you staring at me?”. “Nothing” you cried and he paused before shrugging “Are you ready to go?” he asked “the party has already started” offering you his arm. You nodded and took it cautiously following Iroh into the ballroom.
You could see why Iroh had wanted to invite you, everyone in the room was at least 60 years old or some stiff nobel person from an ancient line of fire nation families. All they seemed to want to discuss was old family bloodlines, territories or ancient traditions. After your fifth boring ambush by some old fire nation man Iroh pointedly headed for the gardens. You frowned as he exited discreetly, closing the door behind him, and headed away from the hall. “Iroh I’m pretty sure the party is inside” you commented and Iroh grinned “I know but I can’t take another second in there so humour me? One lap of the gardens then we’ll head back, please? I know you haven’t seen them properly yet so how about a tour?” Iroh holding out his hand to you. You rolled your eyes but took his hand happily. 
Iroh led you around the gardens explaining the different flora to you and their history. “I spent so many parties hiding in here as a kid” he grinned “this place is so huge they couldn’t find me for hours”. You smiled at the thought “my mother would’ve killed me if I did that”. “Mine did” Iroh chuckled “but I’d honestly rather face her wrath than some boring commander who wants to lecture me about our family’s history and why it’s so important...they’re literally my own family and even I don’t care” Iroh cried making you smile. “I see why you escaped out here so often, I’m very grateful formal parties were not a part of my childhood”. Iroh smiled and went to comment when the smile was wiped from his face and he grabbed you, quickly pushing you behind a large fern. “Iroh what are you...”. “Shhh they’ve come for us” he hissed and you frowned when you heard a voice. “Prince Iroh?” a man you recognised as the palace coordinator called “Are you out here? You’re needed inside”. You smirked and Iroh rolled his eyes “they’re relentless”.  “Master Iroh if you’re out there please return to the ballroom, your mother’s orders”. There was silence and then the sound of the butler coming closer. Your eyes widened and Iroh put a hand over your mouth pushing you further into the bushes. “Prince Iroh?” a voice called literally right beside you and Iroh smirked as you grabbed his arm in surprise. You heard a sigh and the sound of the man retreating. When the footsteps died away Iroh dropped his hold on you and you both burst into laughter. “I thought we were going to be caught and then royally punished...literally” you added and Iroh smirked “I wouldn’t let them punish you, it’s not your fault I dragged you out here”. “True but I didn’t try hard to stop you”. “You did encourage me” Iroh nodded thinking “okay it’s all your fault”. You gaped laughing “I never said that! You are such a liar” you cried pushing him and Iroh laughed grabbing your arm “okay okay maybe we share the blame 50:50?”. “No way” you smiled and Iroh paused “60:40?”. “I think 90:10?” you said grinning and Iroh sighed “fine, i’ll take 10% of the blame”. You shook your head at how wonderfully infuriating he was and smiled at him fondly. Iroh grinned back and you realised suddenly how close his face was to yours. Iroh seemed to notice too, he glanced down at your lips and you panicked moving away from him suddenly. There was an awkward tension in the air and you broke it with a cough “so want to show me more of the gardens then?”. Iroh nodded “right this way my lady” the awkwardness gone and led you further into the garden.
When you were safely hidden from the ballroom Iroh stopped walking, explaining this was one of his favourite spots in the whole garden and you gratefully took a break sitting down. “I can’t believe you’ve already been here a month” Iroh commented and you nodded “I know only 2 more to go then my mandatory 3 months work experience is done”. Iroh frowned “mandatory...so you could stay longer if you wanted to?”. “Hypothetically” you agreed and Iroh hesitated “do you think you’d extend it? Hypothetically?”. You paused “I’m not sure, I have enjoyed the fire nation far more than I thought I would but I’ve always wanted to complete my training as quickly as possible, I hope to be chief of police one day and I’ll need many years of service for that...”. Iroh frowned “isn’t the youngest chief like 41?”. You nodded “yeah so i’ve got time I guess, maybe i’ll stay for longer...is this just so you have someone to skirt your royal duties with?”. Iroh laughed “maybe...I like you being here, it’s nice not being the only person under 30 in every room”. You smiled “well i’m glad my presence isn’t displeasing to you...you’ve been pleasant as well” you added blushing and Iroh grinned. “Wait did I make a Beifong blush? That’s like a legendary occurrence, this is amazing!”. “Stop it” you cried but Iroh wouldn’t let you turn away “no, this will go down in history, Beifong blushes are rarer than dragons so I’m soaking up every second”. For the second time that day Iroh stared at you closely and you blushed more under his gaze but this time you didn’t move away. Iroh continued gazing at you before he lightly moved his hand to your cheek “y/n...” he said softly leaning in closer when a figure appeared. “There you are!” a voice cried and you both jumped away from one another. Your jaw dropped when you realised who it was and you dropped into a bow “Firelord Izumi...i’m so sorry I didn’t see you approach”. “Rise child you did nothing wrong” she said warmly “my son on the other hand...” she trailed off glancing at Iroh who paled. “Hey mom” he frowned and she raised an eyebrow “really? That’s all you have to say? No apology or grovelling”. “Erm I’m sorry for ditching?” Iroh offered and Izumi sighed. “Y/n would you please excuse us, I want to have a word with my son”. “Of course” you agreed bowing and you rushed away.
Iroh returned not long after with his mother and told you he had to stay in the ballroom for the rest of the party. You agreed to stay with him and he smiled gratefully at you making you blush and look away rapidly. The night passed and neither you nor Iroh spoke about what happened in the garden. How he’d almost kissed you and how you were going to let him. You couldn’t believe your own recklessness. What good did you think would come out of kissing the prince of the fire nation? You were obviously not an appropriate match and so there was nothing to be encouraged there. You resolved to never find yourself in that situation again and decided to just stay as friends no matter how much you got along or how attractive he was. Getting involved with a fire nation prince was not responsible behaviour. So after that night you made sure to put distance between you and Iroh. You didn’t stop seeing him you just made sure to emphasise it was a friendship. You didn’t let yourself get caught up in him the way you had in the gardens and always kept a level head. Iroh never tried anything or mentioned that night either and you supposed he picked up on your not so subtle hints. You carried on as before but there was definitely an unmentioned barrier between you which you never let fade.
You left the fire nation 2 months later. You didn’t extend your stay as with your feelings for Iroh you didn’t think it would be wise. Iroh saw you off and hugged you tightly before you got onto the airship. “It’s been nice having you around Beifong, I’ll miss you”. Iroh’s words made you hesitate and you hugged him tighter. For that time in Iroh’s arms you imagined what would have happened if you’d kissed him in the gardens that night. Iroh didn’t strike you as someone who flitted from person to person taking what he wanted, you think if he wanted to kiss you he must have felt something for you too and perhaps would have suggested dating. You imagined all the things you’d have done together but as a couple and wondered if you’d made a mistake, maybe you should have just gone for it? But then reality set in. If you really wanted to be chief of police then you couldn’t have short relationships with high ranking members of the fire nation. Other candidates could use it to show you had compromised morals and there was no way it would be a long term relationship due to your lack of fire nation heritage. Sure the fire nation was pretty progressive but that didn’t really apply to royalty. They had thousand-year-old traditions to uphold that couldn’t be broken easily so Iroh was never a long term option for you. Therefore all logical signs said you’d done the correct thing not persuing something with him...so why did it feel so shit? You finally pulled away from Iroh and he noticed your expression. “What’s wrong?” he asked and you shook your head looking away “nothing i’ll just miss it here...promise you’ll keep in touch?”. “Cross my heart” Iroh smiled “you’re not someone I intend to let slip away, expect a visit every time I come to republic city”. You pushed away the rational voice in your mind telling you to keep a distance from him and smiled “you’ll always be welcome and I’m very much looking forward to it”. Iroh blushed “thank you y/n” and you nodded back, just looking at him in admiration before catching yourself. “I should go...” and Iroh nodded “safe travels” and with a final look you walked away.
2 years later
After your departure you and Iroh stayed in regular contact and your letters only halted when he was deployed by the military but the second we was out he would write and arrange to come visit you in Republic City. You still thought about him and your feelings for him regularly and every time you saw him you knew your crush hadn’t lessened. You loved Iroh’s visits and soon they became the thing you cherished most. You told yourself all of this was fine because you’d never act on your feelings but sometimes you wondered if Iroh felt something too? You’d catch him staring at you or he’d blush if you smiled at him in a certain way. The very idea of Iroh liking you made you very excited but you also knew it would only lead to heartache. He wouldn’t be allowed to settle down with someone outside the fire nation so it didn’t matter if he liked you too. So you settled for his friendship which was more than enough for you. When Iroh was posted in republic city when he became general you were thrilled and you only continued to grow closer.
However republic city wasn’t as peaceful. There had been multiple attacks on the city from Amon’s chi blockers to Vaatu’s take over and you and Iroh were constantly pushed into the fray. Multiple times you’d faced staggering odds and every single time you wondered if you should confess your feelings to Iroh in case the unthinkable happened but every time you chickened out. You and Iroh had been safe every time but there was only so much you could push your luck.  
You’d been wary of Kuvira’s take over of the earth kingdom from the very start. Your aunt Su Yin had told you all about her so you weren’t surprised when she set her sights on Republic City but that didn’t mean you weren’t terrified. The avatar and her friends informed you what you were facing and you weren’t sure how you could even think about facing a giant mecha suit with spirit cannons. Iroh shared your sentiment but as general of Republic City’s army he was forced by President Raiko to lead his troops out there. Watching Iroh take to the front line you were swept with the desire once again to be honest with him, to tell him how you felt before it was too late. You decided three was too many times to chance it and so decided to finally tell him how you felt. You made your way to the general’s tent and found Iroh with Korra discussing strategies. You greeted them both warmly before making your way to Iroh’s side “could we please talk? I have something to tell you”. You knew Iroh had a hundred things to do but he nodded warmly squeezing your hand “of course just give me one second to...” when the radio sprang into action. President Raiko had surendering to Kuvira’s demands. Republic City was hers.
The avatar was furious and you matched her sentiment. You and Iroh joined her as she met with other leaders in the city like Tenzin and your mother and they all agreed something had to be done to stop Kuvira. A plan was quickly assembled, it was agreed that airbenders would attack the suit from the sky and earth benders would attack from the ground. You didn’t actually expect to damage the suit, you only had to distract Kuvira long enough for Korra to get inside. You were agreeing fervently getting ready to leave with your cousins when Iroh grabbed your arm. “Wait Y/n are you sure you want to do this?” he asked nervously “that mecha suit is dangerous there’s no guarantee you’ll be able to stop it”. I know but it’s my home, I swore to protect it and I won’t break my oath. I have to try and help”. Iroh sighed thinking and you watched him wondering what he’d say. “I understand why you’re doing it and I want to come too”. You paused pleasantly surprised “You do...but I thought President Raiko told you to retreat and surrender?”. “He told me to surrender the army not that I couldn’t personally engage in fighting, i’m not fighting as a general but as plain old Iroh” he announced proudly and you smiled “there’s nothing plain about you even without your titles”. Iroh beamed at you “Does this mean you agree? We can fight this giant together!”. You nodded your head “okay let’s go meet up with the others”.
You and Iroh rushed after the others and found them all suiting up. “Finally” your mother said spotting you but she frowned when she saw Iroh with you “y/n tell me you didn’t bring the general who is also the prince of the fire nation into this”. “She didn’t, I volunteered” Iroh spoke up “I’m not here as a general or as a prince but as a civilian so, where can I help?”. “You know your mother won’t like this” Tenzin commented and Iroh nodded “I know but some things are worth facing her wrath for” he said shooting you a smile and you blushed.
So it was agreed Iroh would stay. Your mother thought it would be best to place him on the roof with the airbenders, she ordered him to shoot lightning at the joints to try and cause some malfunctioning. When you’d all suited up the teams said their goodbyes and Iroh appeared in front of you. You didn’t have long, Kuvira’s giant suit was already in view and the ground shook whenever it took a single step. Iroh stared at you and sighed heavily “Y/n...”. “Don’t say it like that, we don’t have time and we’re both going to be fine okay?” you said faking a smile but Iroh saw right through it. “What did you want to tell me earlier?”. You froze caught off guard and blushed “I...I just wanted to...it doesn’t matter”. The ground jumped and Iroh looked at it nervously before stepping closer to you “I think I can guess what you were going to say”. “You can?” you asked nervously and Iroh smiled “yeah...you had another Beifong blush moment and I’ve noticed you do them around me a lot”. You went bright red and Iroh chuckled “yeah like that...”. You looked down embarrassed but Iroh took your hand gently “don’t, I blush a lot around you too”. You smiled blushing more and Iroh chuckled softly. “Y/n are you ready?” your mom asked and Iroh gripped your hand tightly. “Wait I want to tell you everything before you leave” Iroh cried but you squeezed his hand gently. “It’ll be okay” you smiled “you can tell me everything later and I think I can guess too”. Iroh grinned blushing “later then...just got to get through this”. “We’ll be fine, this is what he trained for” you smiled confidently “I promise I’ll see you on the other side”. Iroh nodded and stared at your lips, he went to move in when your mother called “y/n are you coming or are we leaving you behind”. “I’m coming!” you yelled and stepped away from Iroh “mothers” you commented and he smiled “go, i’ll see you after” and with a last look you both rushed off to your assigned group.
The battle
The fight went about as good as could be expected. The suit swatted the air benders away like flies and your group’s earth, metal and even lava bending barely slowed it down. But it didn’t matter, all that mattered was the avatar and her team managed to find a way into that thing and your team cheered when you saw she’d done just that. Now the fight was Korra’s so you let your guard down when suddenly the machine began malfunctioning. Your mother yelled for you all to take cover but you were too far away from the building. The suit exploded with a blast and you saw a blinding light and then black.
After the suit exploded everyone assumed the battle won. Half the air benders went after Korra to help her with Kuvira and the other half went to the ground to make sure the others were okay, of course Iroh went with the latter. He saw Bolin, your aunt and cousins but no sign of you or your mother. They told him they were all searching for you and he rushed to join in. With each street he passed his heart began to sink when finally he spotted you! In the arms of your mother unconscious. Iroh ran forward dropping to his knees beside you. “What happened?” he cried and your mother clutched you desperately “that thing exploded and she was too far to get into cover, it hit her sending her flying through the street and now she’s...she’s...”. Iroh saw the blood seeping through your mother’s hands where she held them against you. “No” he said viciously “y/n won’t...she can’t! We need a medic” he yelled loudly before taking off his jacket to wrap around your wound. “Maybe I can cauterise the wound?” he asked “seal it to stop her losing so much blood?”. Lin paused “I think the wounds too big but it’s worth a shot”. Iroh nodded and Lin lifted the bottom of your uniform. Iroh saw a large gash across your stomach and winced. He lit his hand on fire and pressed his hands against the wound. You gasped suddenly and your eyes shot open. “Y/n” your mother and Iroh cried in unison and you blinked trying to make sense of the situation before you groaned in pain. You tensed trying to get away from the burning but your mother held onto you “please y/n just hang on Iroh is trying to cauterise your wound”. “It’s not working” you grimaced resisting the urge to scream “Iroh stop! Please!” you cried and he yelled in frustration moving his hands away from you. “No it has to work if it doesn’t then you’ll.....we need a medic down here” he yelled again but he knew everyone else was spread out and there were no healers in the group. “It’s okay” you said breathing heavily as the situation dawned on you “Iroh it’s alright”. “No it’s not” he cried sinking onto his knees beside you “it’s not y/n, you can’t...you have to fight this, you can’t leave me”. You nodded “trust me i’m trying but Iroh if I do...”. “No y/n don’t even think about it! I won’t let you go it’s not going to happen”. “I don’t think we have a choice” you admitted trying to smile but Iroh just shook his head “but we never got our shot, we never got to talk, I never got to tell you...I love you y/n” he said simply “I have for years, that’s why I never found anyone from the fire nation because the perfect person for me is you. I know there’s traditions and rules but I don’t care, I don’t want anyone else but you. I’d give up anything for you and we were finally heading in that direction and now that stupid spirit cannon”. Tears leaked down Iroh’s face and you reached out a hand to him shakily. He took it and you stroked his face “it’s okay, i’m sorry for being too scared and cautious, I’m sorry for wasting our time together but I love you too, I hope that’s enough”. Iroh nodded “It’s more than I ever hoped, you didn’t waste time you have nothing to be sorry for y/n Beifong, do you hear me?”. “I do” you smiled before coughing in pain and your mother clutched you tighter. “Y/n” your mother cried and you smiled up at her “it’s okay mom, don’t worry. It’s all going to be okay”. You clutched her hand against your chest and took Iroh’s other one. “I’m with the two people I love the most, I’m happy. This is the best way for it to...”. “Stop” Iroh said crying but you just gripped his hand tighter “Iroh look at me”. He blinked through the tears but looked at you. “It’s okay, I promise you everything will be okay”. Iroh just said your name softly and rested his head against yours. Your mother wrapped her arms around both of you and you held onto both of them the best you could when you felt the world fading away. You heard sobbing and your mother faintly saying your name until everything turned dark and it was over.
Epilogue
Following your death the fire nation, earth kingdom and republic city all paid their respects in their traditional fashions. A statue was raised by your mother in the spot of your death and every year on the anniversary of your death both her and Iroh would visit it. Iroh and your mother supported one another following your death being the only one’s who understood how monumental the loss of your life was. They managed to get through it together and although neither of them ever stopped loving you they found a way to carry on. Iroh never married, he couldn’t even consider the idea and his family never pushed him to. He still lived a long and happy life. He was very involved with his sister’s children who he loved dearly and his family never stopped supporting him. If he went quiet and got a teary look in his eye or if he struggled serving in the earth kingdom they understood. Your family also treated him like one of their own, with Lin even calling him her son on a few occasions, and he was invited to all your family’s events in recognition of your love for him. Your memory never faded and when Iroh’s life eventually ended he passed on to find you waiting for him. He knew all the suffering and heartache was over, you were finally together at last. 
____
So initially I was going to write a happy ending as well but then I thought screw it, I want to cry so I killed off the reader...but I can release the happy ending as a part two if anyone wants it. 
Edit: For the happy ending version click here
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viltrumitesuperboy · 4 years
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Treat Them Right (Peter Parker x Male Reader)
Last second decision cause it’s Valentine’s Day. Also it’s short but that’s not my problem lmao
Requested by: @iliumheightnights​ Can you please write a peter parker x male reader where peter keeps getting distracted thinking of a date and the avengers think it's a girl so they give him all of these tips on how to "treat a lady right" but then his boyfriend shows up. 
Word count: 1195
CW: mentions of reader as female
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Any day Peter went to the tower, he was prepared for everything that could possibly go wrong. His table would explode, a supervillain would crash through the window, everything he worked on was deleted from his computer.
The worst one was when anyone he knew came to embarrass him in front of other people.
It was rarely a problem because he had little contact with other people when he was working. If he was going into another lab, he didn't worry so much that anything would go wrong because talking to other people kept him distracted from that worry. But someone embarrassing him in front of an Avenger? He might as well just die on the spot.
A week ago, his boyfriend had mentioned that it was going to be their one year anniversary since their first date. He was zoning out for parts of the day, both stressing over how he ever found someone so amazing and what he'd have to do to avoid disaster.
"Peter! Come here. I want you to meet someone."
He turned away from the scientists currently working on a project to see his mentor.
"Mr. Stark! Uh, I'm just finishing up here," he said.
"No worries. Come in, Bruce. No one's bite is worse than yours, I promise."
There was a quiet muttered complaint, and Peter turned back to the table to work on the hologram.
"Radiation is still dangerous, even as a source of energy. It might give the Hulk his powers, and probably Spider-Man — not that I would know, I've never met him. I mean, I could! Anyway, it doesn't mean it's not still dangerous. So keep that in mind when you're working with this stuff."
He made a vague hand gesture waving at the hologram that he definitely did not learn from Tony. Just as he started to head for the door, he was stopped by a voice.
"Hey, these are my papers! That's great. There's a section over here you might want to take a look at."
Peter then saw Bruce Banner swiping through a pdf that was on one of the holograms. He smiled up at Peter.
"Peter! I can't believe we haven't met yet. You're doing great work here," Dr. Bruce Banner, world-renowned scientist and former refugee, said to Peter Parker, skinny nerd still in school.
"Uh. Thank... you..." Peter responded, a little starstruck.
Even after meeting Avengers personally, it was still a surprise to see them. The world made them seem untouchable, but Peter knew they weren't. Seeing any of them in person was like a fever dream.
"Kid, this is Bruce. Bruce, Pete. We have somewhere to go," Tony said suddenly.
"Oh, okay. Bye!" Peter managed to say before he was swept out of the room.
When they got in the elevator, Tony finally spoke.
"So, Peter! I heard something very important came up and you are gonna need to have a talking to."
"I'm gonna what?!" Peter squeaked.
Then he was in the sitting room. It was usually the most comfortable place on the tower's "Avengers" floors. Now it was the most terrifying situation he'd ever been in.
Every single Avenger (minus Tony) and friends were sitting in a semicircle around Peter. They all stared at him in silence. His eyes were wide open as he stared right back.
"Am I being inducted into a cult?" he whispered just loud enough for everyone to hear.
"You have an anniversary coming up," Natasha said from her standing position as she crossed her arms. "A year is very important, Peter."
"You need to plan this properly," Rhodes said.
"And if she's not happy with what you plan, expect us to be ten times as unhappy," Clint added.
Peter opened his mouth to correct him, but Steve cut him off.
"You know, I might have been born a while ago, but most important things you need to know are going to be from us. If you don't treat her right, she'd be the least of your worries," he said.
He glanced at Bucky, who was cracking his neck. His face said "murder." Peter shrunk in on himself.
"Where's Mr. Stark?" he asked.
"He's in a meeting," Natasha said.
"Okay," he meekly responded.
Thor shuffled in his comfortable seat on the sofa.
"My people treat their romantic partners as their equals. If one is too slow in courting a partner, their relatives will find it suspicious and will seek blood. But I'm sure that's not the case," the god said with a reassuring smile.
It was not reassuring.
"I don't want to inconvenience you or anything, but I don't know why I'm here. I thought I was just supposed to work on something with Tony," Bruce said.
"Banner," Natasha snapped. "Give him some advice and then you can leave."
"Uh, I don't know, flowers? Girls like that, right? Look, I'm busy. It was nice to meet you, Peter. I hope we get to work on something together."
He walked away. Dr. Bruce Banner, world-renowned scientist, just told Peter that he wanted to work with him. For science stuff.
This was the best and worst day of his life.
"Okay, if you're going to a restaurant or anywhere that requires sitting at a table, you pull the chair out for her. And you make sure you check in, make sure she's comfortable," Sam said from his spot.
"You gotta make her feel like she's the only girl for you. And there's nothing better than personally bringing her somewhere that would mean a lot to the both of you," Bucky said.
"If your partner slaps you in the face, you think hard about what you did wrong," Thor absentmindedly mumbled, playing with some gadget he found on the coffee table.
"From what I've seen with Pepper and Tony, just don't be stupid. Be on time and make sure you do nice things for her," Rhodes said.
"I'd like to inform you that someone is coming up," FRIDAY chirped from the ceiling.
"Who?" Natasha snapped.
They all turned to see the private elevator open to reveal a boy. They readied their weapons, though Thor didn't seem too bothered. He swung the hammer around lazily.
"Uh... am I interrupting something?" you asked.
"Who are you? How did you get up here?" Rhodes demanded.
"I'm... here for Peter. Hey, you aren't, like, inducting him into a cult or anything, right?" you said.
"That's what I said!" Peter exclaimed.
He rushed away from the group into your arms, nearly toppling the both of you over. You held out a single flower, which he huffed and blushed at.
"Avengers, this is my boyfriend," Peter announced.
"That's unexpected," Steve said.
"I was saying 'partner' the whole time," Thor said. "None of you caught on."
"Are you ready, Peter? We've got somewhere to be," you said.
"Aye, aye, Captain!" Peter automatically responded.
"Dude, if you do Spongebob in front of me one more time, I will take the flower."
"No!"
The elevator doors closed behind the both of you, leaving the Avengers to discuss the events themselves.
"I'm here," Tony said, entering the room with Pepper and Bruce. "Did I miss anything?"
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alreadyblondenow · 3 years
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Each other’s replacements
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▸ Na Jaemin x female!reader ▸ Inspired by the anime Scum’s Wish ▸ High school au, SMUUUUT, fluff and angst
Summary: Two broken hearts met unexpectedly and agreed to use each other so you can both move on from your exes. Your hearts belong to each other already, you’re just waiting for love to take place and make everything right. But will you both still choose each other in the future? Word count: 6,988k
Warnings: Using each other to forget your exes, ex Lee Jeno, kind of fuck buddies but no? Fingering, mentions of fingering, handjob, blowjob, and watching each other masturbate, mentions of taking nude photos after sex, Jaemin taking a picture of your naked body after sex (with consent ofc), uproctected sex, mentions of rough sex, making out, swearing, mentions of breakup, actual breakup
A/N: I hope you enjoy this Jaemin fic. I tried writing it as realistic as possible because I think Scum’s Wish is a very mature and realistic anime, I mean shit like that happens in real life. And I think Mugi is so fucking handsome. The ending of the series sux btw HAHAA bc I wanted them to end up together so heres my version of it. 
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It all happened so fast but the heartbreak stayed and the process of healing is very slow.
Three months have passed already when your ex-boyfriend Jeno broke up with you on a nice afternoon after school. The reason? Well, let’s just say he fell out of love. And that’s what made it worst because you remember that all you ever did was love him and please him.
Every day, you go to school, attend class, study hard but you always looked so gloomy. And whenever Jeno cross paths with you in the hallways, he knew he hurt you badly and that you’re not your normal self anymore. The cheerful and excited girl he fell in love with was gone and it’s all because of him. He can only wish that someone will bring you back and make you happy again.
“I’ll help you with that,” a cold manly voice interrupted you and your thoughts while you were having a hard time throwing the trash. He’s not part of your class, he’s one of Jeno’s classmates but you two were never introduced to each other.
You watch him throw the heavy trash for you and hoping that he will hand the bin afterward but he didn’t. “Lead the way, it’s dirty I’ll hold it for you” he insists, so you do as you’re told, showed him the way so you can finish this day as soon as possible.
Jaemin knew everything. It’s a small school and students usually gossip too much whenever a couple breaks up, especially after being together for so long. He knew who broke your heart, he also knew that you used to smile and be cheerful all the time because he has seen you in places and he knew you're capable of automatically lighting up the place whenever you’re around. But now… all he can see is a broken-hearted girl.
“Here,” you hand him a tissue and your hand sanitizer as a thank you for not letting your hands get dirty. He accepted it and gave you a small smile, obviously, he’s not shy and he was looking directly at you while his hands move. To be honest, you have no reason to be shy with each other, and honestly, you just don’t care anymore you just want to end this day. But Jaemin being the bold man that he is, bravely loosen up the ribbon of your school uniform and undid a few buttons from your school blouse. It was a common thing for students to do that after school as a sign that they're ready to head home and end their day. Jeno used to do it for you, and you didn’t expect Jaemin would do it. Despite the fact that you only met properly today.
You don’t know what happened but your heart was racing the moment he’s done adjust it and you just stare at his crooked tie and figured you may as well loosen it up for him too and return the favor. A bold move that Jaemin did not expect from a girl because he’s used to being with girls who become shy and all flustered after he makes a move.
But you, you’re different.
And that’s when Jaemin realized that you are a perfect match for him.
Word is Na Jaemin is pretty popular with girls. Besides Lee Jeno your ex, Na Jaemin is the second most handsome guy in school. Not only that he’s handsome, but you also know that he is passionate when it comes to photography, he’s naturally smart, not that nice, quiet but cocky, cold but can give anyone the right amount of attention if he wants to. But in your case, you have his full attention.
That afternoon, for the first time in three months, you did not go home alone, someone walked with you and watched you go inside your house.
The same cold but needed interaction with Jaemin happened over and over again until people started to gossip and think that you’re together. But it was nothing like that and you stopped caring about rumors a long time ago. Jaemin is nothing like Jeno, but he’s a gentleman, he’s straightforward but most of the time quiet. And most of the time you share silence not stories and you both love it that way.
You were different people but before you knew it, you were spending more time with each other.
On Valentine's day, you don’t know what came to his mind and brought you a bouquet of roses and gave it to you secretly. You were genuinely happy of course, but you just couldn’t smile that big and show him more. Seeing him from afar with a dozen roses and a smirk, with his black sling bag he uses for school that makes him so attractive… is enough to call your Valentine's day a memorable day.
“You’re special too,” he said and hands you the bouquet. “Ready to go home? Sorry I couldn’t help you with trash today, I picked these up right after school and rushed back-“
“Thank you” you cut him off with a friendly kiss on the cheek that made him blush and shy for the first time.
With a bouquet of roses on your left arm and the trash bin on your right hand, you came back to your classroom to get your stuff and put the bin back. You cleaned your hands and admire the roses as the afternoon sunlight hits them perfectly and finally come out again to meet Jaemin. Only to find him eavesdropping on the classroom near yours.
“What-“
“Shh” he cut you off with a ‘shh’ gesture and made you look at the half-closed door and made you listen to their conversation as well.
Jeno I like you too.
Were words that immediately ruined your day that Jaemin perfected. But this is not about you. Because when you turned your back and looked at the man beside you, you saw yourself. The pain that you’ve been feeling for months now, you saw it in Jaemin’s eyes too. Now you understand that you’re just two broken people who are still in pain. And you have no idea that he has been hurting too.
Of course, seeing Jeno with another girl hurt you badly, but seeing Jaemin get teary-eyed bothered you more. So you reached for his hand and whispered, ‘it’s okay’ even though it’s not, and walked away silently with him to continue your day together.
“Do you think they’re just doing this because people are gossiping about us?” you asked while you watch him stare at his coffee blankly. You’ve never seen him like this even though he’s always quiet and cold.
“N-no. I know my ex, uhm… she wouldn’t use anyone. Is Jeno-“
“No. I know him too. And I know that he’s happy when he found out about us,”
“So it’s true then. Their feelings for each other” he said and went back to staring at his coffee blankly.
You pursed your lips and let out a deep sigh. Allowing yourself to be hurt again by hearing the truth that you have been completely replaced in Jeno’s heart. There was silence. Then you decided to admire the flowers that Jaemin gave to you and feel the soft petals on your fingertips. This day could have been a turning page for the both of you, but now you’re both very sure that you’re not yet ready to open your hearts for somebody else.
“Red roses mean love and romance,” you said as you continue to admire the roses that he gave which made him smile a little. “Do you like me?” and just like that, you gave him the question that you’ve been meaning to ask for the past few months.
“I do” he answered without hesitating, which gave you a shock actually. “Do you?” he returned the question.
“I don’t,” you said the truth because you can’t repay him with lies. No. You can’t do that to Jaemin, “but you’ve become special to me. And I don’t want to lose you too,” Honestly you thought being honest to him will make him feel even more horrible but it didn’t. In fact, it brought the unique handsome smile you love seeing on his face.  
“Though, it’s not right that we are using each other to forget our exes-“ you added but he cut you off immediately.
“But I need you, and honestly I’ve been very happy these past few weeks because of you” he confessed. And you wish that you could tell him the same thing but you can’t because it’s still Jeno. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not begging you to stay. You’re an adult and I have nothing against your decisions. But I really hope we could go back to normal and be closer now that we know what each other really feels. I will date you properly when the right time comes… Just not now that we're both still confused and not sure”  
Everything did not make sense of course, and the right thing to do is refuse. But the past few weeks were actually good. Not great but still Jaemin was a huge change. So you nod your head and agreed that you should continue what you’re doing but promised each other that if either one of you feels pressured already, then you should stop.
As you continue seeing Jaemin and trying to move on from Jeno, you became comfortable with each other as days go by to the point that neither one of you cares if someone mentions that you look great together even though your relationship is not true.
It was a never-ending try to give each other the chance and love that you deserve. But at the same time, it was a never-ending process of healing from your exes, a never-ending heartbreak whenever you two hear something good about their relationship. And to be honest you’re both happy that you’re not facing this heartbreak alone.
You’re thankful for each other because you have each other’s backs. But in a different way.
Jaemin is thankful for you because he can hold your hand, hug you tightly from behind then whisper sweet words, and kiss your neck, whenever he wants to, and whenever he misses skinship with his ex.
You on the other hand, is thankful too because he does these various things to you and you can just close your eyes and he lets you imagine that he’s Jeno. Like now. You were just cuddling and watching the rain from his window when suddenly his hand roamed under your skirt while he was listening to you talk, and his cold fingers played on the hem of your panties. Teasing your pussy and moving his fingers up and down your wet cover slit.
“How does Jeno touch you? Is gentle? Rough?” He asks in the sexiest tone he ever used and started kissing your neck. You had a hard time answering his question because of what he’s doing, but your mind lurks on the memories you had with Jeno in his room.
You remember how Jeno fingered you in his bed, how two fingers always feel good and that’s how you like it, you remember that while his fingers are deep inside you, he is busy kissing your body. Planting soft kisses on your chest and on your boobs, kissing your nipples and making them sensitive and he puts them in his mouth and sucks it good until it's both swollen.
This is the first time Jaemin had touched you down there. And you swear, you don’t want him to stop and you just want to remove your panties and spread your legs for him.
“Jaem-“ you moaned out an airy tone. Calling his name with your eyes closed and parted lips. Feeling his fingers go up and down your wet slit still.
“Do you mean Jeno?” Jaemin asks. But truth be told he doesn’t mind you moaning his name instead on your first time going too far. And finally, he removed your panties and made you spread your legs for him which you gladly did. Putting two fingers slowly while he’s watching you make the sexiest faces that just simply makes him hard.
Jaemin never rushed, he took his sweet time with your body. Pushing you on the edge over and over again but you don’t know why you haven’t cum yet. His tongue and fingers together were somewhat calming and just made you breathe in and out deeply, which is relaxing while you spread your legs even more.
And when you finally came, it was a nice warm feeling all over your body. Like you just got out of the shower, wet and relaxed. Though you feel so tired, weak and sleepy... Jeno was never like this but your imagination was a big help that you moaned Jeno’s name a couple of times and that made Jaemin felt so accomplished.
“How about you? Don’t you want to cum?” you asked Jaemin while you watch him help you wear your panties again, kissing your thighs after.
“Maybe later,” he said, not admitting that he came earlier too, ruining his boxers briefs.
That day you did more than touching each other’s private parts but actually giving each other oral sex for the first time. His sheets were so ruined because he came so hard when you gave him a blowjob, a handjob and when he jerked himself in front of you while he watches you finger yourself. In return, he made you cum more than three times using his fingers and tongue. And you came home with a weak body and weak legs that you flopped straight in your bed and slept with a smile.
But there are times that it’s just the two of you. Just Jaemin and Y/n, no exes involved. Where you can be free being yourselves whenever you’re alone together. Like him snapping pictures of you out of nowhere while you’re busy kissing him, or whenever you just finished having sex and you’re both too lazy to get dressed again and he will suddenly capture amazing photos of you while you’re still naked in his bed, wearing nothing but the smile he gave you because of the sex.
“Hmm. Jaemin, these are beautiful. Can I have this one? I love seeing your works, it’s like I’m seeing myself through your eyes”
Little did you know that that simple compliment from you made him blush hard and his heart jump. It’s not every day he gets to be himself, but lately, he has been feeling so inspired with his craft and he had a good guess it’s because of you.
“You can keep this too, it’s one of my favorites,” he said and handed you a picture of you kissing him while he smiles so big and so handsome with both of your eyes closed. It’s a perfect moment, a moment that Jaemin captured in the middle of him being so happy that you’re showering him with kisses.
Jaemin is sweet and quiet as usual and he showers you with love and affection every day in his own way. He’s not the normal guy who will praise you and tell you that you’re beautiful, he will just simply look at you like you’re his favorite person in the world. Which you are now. He doesn’t talk too much because one, that’s his personality already and two, he simply loves listening to you even though you don’t talk too much yourself.
He is the complete opposite of Jeno, and that’s why he became special to you.
“Yesterday, me and my mom were at the mall and I saw them. Just from afar and they were about to enter the movies and… you know, seeing them together hurt” he says while kicking stones on your way to your house.
You can only imagine the pain he felt when he saw them spending time together, and now it’s your time to get hurt because Jeno used to bring you to the movies. Then it gave you an idea.
“Do you want to go to the movies tomorrow? My treat,” you said. Nervous and shy you slowly met eyes and stopped walking when you finally arrived in front of your house.
“Did you just realized that I haven’t taken you out on a date? Because I feel bad, I just realized it now” he rambles.
“No no,” you chuckled, “I simply wanted to go to the movies with you. So tomorrow?” you were slowly walking away from him with a small smile on your face. If Jaemin was being honest, he wanted to be with you just a little bit longer. But parting will make your meeting even sweeter the next day.
On the next day, you remember clearly that you said ‘my treat’ yesterday. But the whole day that you’re together he never let you pay for anything, not even a bottle of water. You feel at ease even though it’s your first date and it’s your first time seeing each other in casual clothes and not in your uniforms, or wearing nothing at all. He looked handsome in his get up, he knows how to dress and he sure does look like the warm person you know.
“Do you like anything else?” he whispered beside you while you two wait for the movie to start and watch people enter.
“No I’m just a little chilly. But I’m fine, keep your jacket,” you stopped him before he removes his jacket, you know he will. So instead of lending you his jacket, he kept you close and wrapped an arm around you.
“This is nice, right?” he whispered back and rested his head on yours.
During the movie, Jaemin did not try any funny business. Though you were waiting for it and of course you will give him your consent. If this was Jeno, by this time you’re whimpering and cumming on his fingers by now. But you’re with Jaemin right now, and Jaemin did nothing but hold your hand, keep you close and keep you warm. And the thing that he did that made your heart race the most, was when he tightens his embrace when the couple kissed in the movie, exchanged ‘i love yous’ and he pulled you closer to him. “We’ll get there,” he whispered, “Just remember that I’m the one here and not Jeno” and you nod because you agree to him.  
Not long after your first date, you and Jaemin shared a kiss under a lamppost just before you enter your house. It was not your first kiss of course. But it was the first time that you two felt that there we're no lust involved. It was a genuine kiss. A kiss that told you ‘I’m glad you chose to stay in this stupid relationship we have’ not to mention his soft lips were addicting and he was gentle the whole time. He wasn’t rushing you, he wasn’t hungry for you. But you can feel his long to finally move on and give his love wholly to you.
“Is it okay if I kiss you like that every day from now on?” he asked softly, forehead to forehead and just enjoying the cold breeze of the evening and the quietness of the street.
It’s Jaemin, not Jeno. You remind yourself over and over again.
“Yes” you nod and wrapped your arms around his neck, “Kiss me again” you requested. And so Jaemin did, even deeper but this time he took your breath away during the kiss.
The moment you closed the door and Jaemin watched you go inside your house safely, you burst into tears because you can’t help but see Jeno in your head and imagine that it’s Jeno kissing you not Jaemin. Even though it felt nothing like Jeno’s kisses, even though you smell Jaemin’s unique cologne, still it’s Jeno whom you see in your head and it’s Jeno whom you really wanted to kiss.
Days passed by and you try a little harder to show him affection, you try a little harder to be with Jaemin and not think about your ex, you try saying Jaemin’s name more often. Calling him with a smile, surprising him with back hugs, smiling with him more. Honestly, you just want to help yourself with forgetting Jeno completely because it’s exhausting already.
Today is the school’s fair and you’ve been with your friends the whole day laughing and discussing boys over snacks, sex and other stuff. And while you and your friends have been participating in a lot of games today, Jaemin can’t stop taking pictures of you from afar and watch your pretty smile. The smile he’s been seeing a lot lately and he hopes that it’s because of him.
‘Hey beautiful, I like your smile’
You received a text from him, you look around where he is and you found him behind you. Smiling so handsomely with his camera slung on his shoulder. Your friends teased you and Jaemin for being all flirty with your glances, you have never been shy around him but now there are butterflies in your stomach. Jaemin then shamelessly showed your friends how he treats you nicely, he can’t kiss you inside the school grounds so he winked at you instead and smiled.
It definitely made everyone around you jealous. Especially when Jaemin started taking your pictures, something no one was ever seen Jaemin do.
At the end of the day, you and Jaemin walk hand in hand and went to his house to cuddle and flirt more in his bed. Hands intertwined, legs tangled, bodies closer and just listening to each other talk about the most random things.
That’s right, you and Jaemin now talk. No more comfortable silence, no more quiet walks, you’ve come so far to reach this level of comfort. And when you’re both comfortable in each other’s arms like this, you both never shut up about the things you want to share with each other. Like the comfortable silence was gone with your awkward and shy phase too.
You asked him how he used to love his ex and he never shuts up about it, and it is as if he was describing how he’s treating you but when it comes to you everything was better. Like how he used to not care about Valentines for his ex but for you he went to different kinds of flower shop just so he can find the best quality of red roses. He used to hate walking with his ex because it’s making him sweat like crazy, but when it comes to you, seeing and watching you go inside your home safely was satisfying.
“Jaemin what are we? Are we friends with benefits now? Or just friends?” you dropped the question out of nowhere while you two lie in your bed, and you play with his long and perfect eyelashes.
“Hmm. No, fuck buddies avoid feelings while we... well, we try to develop our feelings. Let’s say we're two waiting hearts, were not yet in love with each other but… we belong to each other already. How’s that sound?”
“Waiting hearts. Hmm. I like it. Did you made that up?” you giggle and ran your fingertips on his very soft lips, which made him catch your hand and kiss it before he opens his beautiful eyes again.
“Yeah” he says, “But everything I said was true. Moving on is a bitch and I just can’t wait to love you right,”
And those words were just right. Perfect actually, that it made you kiss him sweetly and sincerely. And with your lips and the way you kiss, Jaemin felt that you made a promise to him. Like you’re not going to make him wait for nothing. And because of that he deepens the kiss and went on top of you, placing his body in between your legs, kissing your body nonstop and whispering sweet things to you.
“When we're finally and officially together, I won’t hurt you as Jeno did,” and you believe him because even though that you’re a wreck now, Jaemin stayed and put up with you.
He suddenly stopped kissing you, letting you breathe and bask at this moment, then he swallowed the lump in his throat and told you the truth. “I’m finally getting there…by the way, I mean, all I think about is us-you,” he was talking about his progress of moving on. “You don’t have to be pressured or anything at this point just, focus on yourself. Okay?” he said and kissed you again.
As your days with Jaemin continues, you don’t see Jeno anymore whenever you’re with Jaemin. No more imagining, it’s just you, the moment, and Jaemin. Though you’re not sure if you’ve already moved on this time or you’re just too overwhelmed because of Jaemin. Still, you know to yourself that you’re getting there and Jaemin is the reason why you’re even more closer to peace now. But you haven’t told him yet because you’re not ready. For you, you know that he will not leave and so it’s okay to take your time.
It started when you realized everything that he has done for you and the things that he’s ready to do for you. Loving again, or being given the opportunity to love someone again so deep is something so special and exciting especially when the man who holds your heart and the one waiting for you right now is Jaemin. The life you’re taking before Jaemin was like a black tunnel that you’ve been walking around in circles for some time now. And you sure as hell don’t want to take that path again.  
And just thinking about experiencing the things that Jaemin has to offer, you can only do that if you give up on Jeno. So with great effort, you slowly focus your mind only on Jaemin and replace every bit of Jeno in your life with Jaemin, and from now on you make sure that you have something in return for him.
“Jaemin-“ you moan his name. Something so new and so satisfying for Jaemin to hear it's his name you moan now, not Jeno’s.
“You know, you make me shy whenever you say my name” he catches his breath and came closer to you to plant kisses on your back and knead your boobs from behind, nipples hard and swollen because you’ve been in bed with him for almost two hours now. “What do you need?” he asks while making you feel good with his lips and hands.
“Maybe slow down? I’m not going anywhere,” you hear him giggle from behind because of your request, slapping your but playfully and squeezing it good. Then suddenly, out of nowhere he rolled his hips, and let out a sexy grunt. “Fuck Jaemin, I wasn’t ready-“ you croak and landed on the mattress, face first as you grip the sheets and take Jaemin’s cock followed by a wave of hard and fast thrusts.
He kept a firm grip on your waist as he gives you hard thrusts and he kept you down on the mattress, a hand on your waist and a hand on your nape. It kept your movements minimal that’s why you can’t do anything now that you’re on the edge and he’s torturing you using his dick. But the best part of Jaemin fucking you from behind is the way he fucks you rough... so rough sometimes that you get red marks after a good round. This only happens whenever he catches his breath, but sometimes his thrusts become slow and deeper and honestly you feel like he’s rearranging your insides. And of course you love it whenever he’s just so fast and the sound of skin slapping surrounds his room and the impact of his thrust just drags you on the mattress, almost at the edge of the bed and he would have to drag your body towards him and fuck you faster and harder.
But this time, your pussy is so sensitive and your body is giving up and shivering already that you try and push him away, moan his name for mercy, grip his sheets while you arch your back so beautifully to ease your sensitivity.
“You said you’re not going anywhere? Why are you running away from me? Huh?” it was a sexy tone and his thrusts started to go slow but deeper than before and he had spread your legs again from behind. His arm is around your neck and ends at your shoulder, bodies closer than ever as he puts his whole weight on you and you feel his hard rock abs hits your back. Then he started thrusting hard again but now you can’t move your body because he got you locked in his arms, and instead of gripping the sheets, you now grip Jaemin’s arm and hands as you don’t have a choice but to accept his hard thrust.
Thrust after thrust, you breathe heavily and let out groans and call out his name. Until your body can’t take it anymore and you’re shaking uncontrollably and you did everything you can to push him away and try curling yourself into a ball but Jaemin was quick to flip you on your back and reach in for a deep kiss.
Kissing you while you cum and enjoy your orgasm. Feeling his tongue swirl around your as your body shakes and his hands caress your thighs so you could calm down and melt on his kiss.
After you cum, you and Jaemin did not stop kissing. He stayed above you, in between your legs and proceed to make out. Slowly and passionately, hands roaming to appreciate each other’s body, hands together and your lips locks and you look at each other with deep admiration.
“I want to date for real now. I’m so afraid to lose you Y/n,” he said directly into your eyes and rested his forehead on yours. “I promise I can do more for you, just be mine completely” he reached for your hands and kissed your knuckles.
Finally, you thought. And to be honest you have so much to say but none came out from your mouth. You looked at his tired sex face, his hair is all over his face, sweaty and his lips are swollen because of your intense kisses. And because your heart is full of happiness right now, you just nod so fast and cup his face and attacked him with kisses.
A love for love.
The first few days with Jaemin were beautiful. You both have your hearts full of love admiration towards one another and you shower each other with love every day without having second thoughts. You have never been loved like this and you didn’t know that you can love someone as deeply.
In just a few days, lust and love were perfectly balanced in your relationship. Now that you’re officially together, you and Jaemin would rather talk non-stop while holding hands, laugh and laugh until you’re both in tears, rather than have sex and exhaust each other out. But of course, now that you’re together, you can finally have the right to stay the night at their house, meet his family, have quiet sex at night where Jaemin’s lips are on your lips, catching every sound and moan you make so his parents won’t suspect.
“I love you,” you said and kissed him before you close your eyes and drift away. In return, he tightens his embrace and kissed you one too many times.
“I love you too,”
Now that you and Jaemin are official, he wanted to do everything again with you. Meaning, he wanted to give you flowers again as your boyfriend this time and not just as someone who’s waiting for you. He wanted to take you out on a proper date as your boyfriend, on your favorite fast food and spend all night long being happy with you.
SUNDAY
At first, you didn’t want to agree with his plan because him giving you all his love every day was enough. But he insists, and that’s why you’re waiting for your handsome boyfriend at your favorite fast food with a glass of water in front of you. He’s 30 minutes late already and you wonder why.
“I’ll get the red ones please, my girlfriend loved those last Valentine's day,” Jaemin’s smile was so big as he watches the florist wrap the red roses he got for you. He’s late because he went to the same shop where he bought you the flowers that you loved last Valentine's day.
And just as Jaemin walks out of the flower shop with a bouquet of red roses in his arm and a smile on his face, he thought about how this night will definitely be a great night for the two of you. And most importantly, no exes to ruin your first date as a couple.
While you were waiting for Jaemin inside, you didn’t know that he’s outside with a dozen roses in his arm and just smiling because he is now looking at the girl whom he loves the most.
Then suddenly, his phone rang and accepted an unexpected phone call. The voice of the girl on the other line was familiar. Very familiar. And his fist balled up immediately when he heard her crying through the phone. Turns out, he still can’t say no to the girl he used to love so much and his excitement on seeing you was immediately replaced with anger.
“Who made you cry? Where are you?” Jaemin asked sternly to his ex.
“He left me Jaems- I’m sorry I don’t know who else to call, I’m at home can you please go here? I really need someone right now, I’ll lose my mind,”
And just like that, he chose his ex over you. He told himself, he will be quick and still meet you afterward. But you waited for an hour… until closing time. Leaving tons and tons of messages to Jaemin but he didn’t return any of them. Maybe something important came up? A family matter? You tried and tried to forgive him even though you’re pissed that he didn’t show up. You even reminded yourself that you didn’t want this date in the first place so why be upset? So it’s okay.  
When you’re finally near your house after a very disappointing date that could have been a beautiful one for you and Jaemin, a very familiar figure was waiting for you outside your house.
One glance at that perfect face, small crescent eyes, and beautiful smile, gave your mind an instant flashback. The guy who loved you first way before Jaemin came into your life, the man who loved you in your highs and lowest moment, the man you’ve been waiting to come back…. is finally back.
“How are you?” he started.
“Better. Jeno, what are you doing here?” you asked, straight to the point.
“I just came by to see you. I’m the one who ruined us but I still miss you from time to time you know? And now I know why,”
“And that is?”
“Regrets. Now that I’m single again, for sure my regrets will even weigh more,” he let out a heavy sigh and looked at his shoes before he gave you a question. A question that he already knows the answer. “If I ask you to come back, will you accept it?” he didn’t look you in the eye. He just stared at the sky and waited for your answer.
“No,” you said honestly and without regrets. “I waited for you to come back long enough. And I worked so hard to be healed again,”
“Then I should’ve asked you earlier then. I should’ve left her earlier,”
What he said sounded wrong for you. Because you know if he did those earlier you will end up hurting Jaemin instead. At least now, it’s clear like the sky above that you no longer love Jeno.
The night ended with a friendly hug. It’s the only comfort you can offer to him because you respect your boyfriend. And you well know that staying longer with Jeno tonight can spark your first fight with Jaemin.
But as you lie in your bed and think about everything that happened tonight, your mind takes you to unwanted scenarios where Jaemin chose to comfort his ex rather than meeting up with you. It’s not right to doubt Jaemin, so you close your eyes and looked forward to the next day.
And just as you thought, you’re going to wake up with a bunch of missed calls or texts from Jaemin, you have none. So there is something wrong.
Jaemin on the other hand is staring at a white ceiling and thinking about the things that he can’t take back right now. It’s too early for regrets but he doesn’t have a choice but to rethink his wrong decisions, over and over again. Starting when he answered the phone call from the naked girl beside him right now. The wrong decisions he made last night was the epitome of the phrase, ‘one thing led to another’
He answered the call and stood you up.
He went to his ex’s house.
He returned the kiss.
He agreed to fuck.
It was all his choice. Wrong choices that made him lose and lost you way before your relationship could have bloomed beautifully. And he can’t take that back because he can't show his face to you anymore for the sexual activity that happened last night between him and his ex, somehow brought them back together.
SUNDAY
It all happened so fast but the heartbreak stayed and the process of healing is very slow.
Seven days have passed already when Jaemin stood you up on a date to choose his ex over you. The reason? Well, you don’t know because you and Jaemin did not talk it out… the breakup sort of happened automatically when you saw him and his now girlfriend again, holding hands while entering the school grounds on a cold Monday morning. And that’s what made it worst because you remember that all you ever did was love him and be better to make way for the love you thought you both want.
Every day, you go to school, attend class, study hard but you always looked so gloomy. Again. And whenever Jaemin crosses paths with you in the hallways, he knew he hurt you badly and that he broke every promise he told you. He can only wish that he could turn back time and choose to not answer that fucking call.
Just like that, you’re back in that black tunnel and you didn’t expect that Jaemin will be the reason why you’re back on this dark path again. And this time, the heartbreak was ten times even worst than what you felt during your breakup with Jeno.  
A few more weeks after the breakup, you started being alone with yourself again and try to give your heart a break from all the drama.
But one fateful afternoon, when everyone had gone home already and you’re on trash duty again, as usual, Jaemin finally decided to swallow his pride and say the apology you deserve.
“I’m sorry, Y/n,” Jaemin said out of nowhere. He was looking straight into your eyes when he said it, and you can see that he’s sincere through his eyes.
“I hope you’re happy” and that's all you can say and try to walk away.
“I’m not- do you still love me?”
It was a question that broke both of your hearts because you both know that even though love is involved, it’s still not enough to keep you together.
But still, you answered him with all honesty. “Yes” short and simple.
“Then let's be together-“ he proposed with hopeful eyes.
“And what? Cheat?” you ask sternly, he nodded. “One of the reasons why I liked you back then is because you’re not complicated. You’re a simple ‘yes’ and ‘no’, but now you’re the one who complicates things. I’m sorry. It’s a no,” and that is an answer Jaemin did not expect from you because he thought you loved him that much that you’re still going to accept him. But maybe, the pain that he’s feeling right now, is the same pain that you felt when he chose his ex over you that night.
As days, months, and seasons change but of course the heartbreak never left, you focus more on being with yourself until finally you survived this school year and today is your last day in school. But before everything ended, a lot has happened before it finally ended, like Jeno suddenly transferring schools, Jaemin is single again, and you were awarded for ranking #3 out of hundreds of other students studying their asses off.
That same afternoon, while you’re fixing your stuff and ready yourself to go home under the pouring rain, Jaemin found you alone in your classroom again. And it felt like you’re meeting again for the first time. You don’t know why you accepted his help, you don’t know why you let him walk you home under his small umbrella that made you walk closely together.
He was quiet. You were quiet. But it was not the comfortable silence you used to have, it was very awkward. But you both endured it because if you’re both going to be honest with your feelings, you both wanted this.
“Are we going to do this again?” you ask before you enter your house.  
“Yes. The right way,”
And you know you both found your way back to each other because it’s the right thing to do.
827 notes · View notes
sortasirius · 4 years
Text
Dean Winchester be like:
I hate myself because it’s what my father taught me to do.  I hate myself because it’s a defense mechanism.  I use sarcasm to cover up the fact that I believe I am worthless.  I raised my brother into a good man, that’s the only good I’ve ever done.  I’ve saved some people, they don’t say thank you, but that’s okay.  I wish I could have been the man my father wanted me to be.  I break everything I touch.  All the people I love I end up killing or leaving me.  I am broken.  I don’t do romantic love, it’s asking for me to get my heart broken, more broken than it already is.  I sold my soul to a demon so I could save my brother, because he’s the best thing I ever did, the only good thing.  I’m afraid to go to Hell, but I pretend I’m not, because what’s the alternative? 
Hell proved that I was the person I always knew I was, a bad person, willing to torture to get out of pain.  I met an angel, he’s not like I thought.  He’s a soldier, like me, he’s taking orders from a father he can’t see.  He starts out as an ally, but he’s different than the others, they say he likes me.  He’s awkward, he stands too close to me sometimes.  I started the Apocalypse because I wasn’t strong enough.  My brother is going down the wrong path, and I don’t know how to stop it.  The angels tell me Lucifer has to rise, but the one that pulled me out of Hell disobeys to help me stop it.  I think I should consider him a friend.  Lucifer rises anyway. 
The angel is on the run from Heaven, he’s a good guy, I like him a lot, more than I think I should.  I don’t know what to do, if I say yes to Michael, we can save some people.  Maybe I’ll get to know peace, maybe my father will be proud of me then.  The angel and my brother are angry at me, but I’ve always been a coward, they just don’t know it.  But they know me best, I can’t say yes to Michael if it means disappointing them. 
My brother goes to the cage with Lucifer and Michael, the angel disappears, and I’m left to pick up the pieces, living a life I feel like I stole from somebody else.  I always sleep with a gun and holy water under the bed, even though I know every entrance is secure.  My brother comes back, but he’s different now, he’s not the same, I should have looked for him.  I feel guilty.  We found out his soul is gone, his soul, his soul.  The angel is back, but he’s no real help.  I kill myself to speak to Death, who brings back his soul in exchange for me playing Death, where I learn a few hard lessons. 
I find out the angel has been working with our enemies.  Why does it feel like my heart is broken when he won’t meet my eyes?  I leave him to the demons, but not before one last look.  I’m not sure why.  The idiot, he ends up dying trying to get souls from Purgatory, desperate to win his war in Heaven.  Why does everyone leave me?  The Leviathan are out there, a new threat.  At least I know how to kill, so I won’t have to think about the muddy trenchcoat in the trunk of my car.  I lose the closest thing I have to a father with a bullet to the brain.  I feel like I’m spinning out of control.  My brother loses his mind.  The angel comes back, he doesn’t recognize me, that hurts.  When he does remember me, I tell him we need him, but I really mean that I do. 
I get sent to Purgatory, I meet a vampire turned ally turned new best friend, but I won’t leave without the angel, I can’t leave without the angel.  We find him, he was running from me, why does everyone run from me?  We make it out of Purgatory, the angel gets left behind.  It turns out my brother didn’t look for me.  Why am I so dispensable?  The vampire is the only one I can trust now.  I dream about the angel, about the way I couldn’t save him.  I feel like I can’t save anyone these days.  I see the angel in the air around me, am I going crazy?  But then he shows up behind me, why do I care so much about him?  I don’t even care where he came from, as long as he’s here.  My brother takes on trials, they start to hurt him.  We find a place to call home.  I’ve never had my own bedroom before.  The angel is distant, I wish I could reach him.  He doesn’t answer my prayers.  He and I find the angel tablet, he hits me.  I tell him I need him, never able to tell him that I think I might love him too.  He snaps out of it then walks out of my life again.  I wish I was lovable.  I almost lose my brother to the trials, he has to know I can’t lose him, he’s all I’ve got.  The angels fall, I wonder about my angel, if he’s alright. 
My brother is dying, and I make a deal with an angel to save him.  My angel says he’s a good guy, and I’m too desperate to vet him properly.  I watch my angel, now a human, die in front of me, the angel in my brother saves him, it’s one of the only times I’ve ever put someone else over my brother.  I feel guilty about that.  I have to kick my angel out, it tears me in half to do it, but I have to protect my brother.  I watch the angel from a gas station window, I try to find the courage to go see him.  I use humor to hide how much I miss him.  My brother finds out about the angel, which cost the life of a kid I was supposed to protect, he’s so angry at me.  Well, I deserve it this time.  I take the Mark of Cain to defeat Abaddon, it can’t be all that bad.  I start to lose my grip on myself.  My angel gives up an army for me, and it’s the closest I feel to being me in months. My brother and my angel try to stop it, but it’s too late.  I die in my brother’s arms.
I wake up with black eyes.  I don’t care about anyone, anything.  There’s a tiny part of me that’s screaming to wake up, but I drown him out easily enough.  My brother finds me, says he wants to cure me.  I don’t want it, I don’t want to be me, not feeling is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.  They do cure me though, my brother and my angel, and waking up from the blackness is like surfacing from deep water.  For a while, I feel loved.  But after what I did, I don’t feel like I deserve it.  I’m still not me, and when my friend, who I loved like a sister is taken, I go off the deep end again. It’s too easy, but violence is all I know.  The angel tries to stop me.  I have him where I want him, a blade to the heart and this is all over.  But I still can’t kill him, I still can’t kill the angel.  Death tells me I have to kill my brother.  I almost do it.  But killing Death releases me, and I’m me again.  Sometimes I still wish I wasn’t.
I have this connection to this Darkness.  It scares the hell out of me.  I wish I understood it, I wish I could stop it.  Am I pulled towards the Darkness because I, myself, am darkness?  Is it because I am, because I’ve always been bad?  I lose the angel to Lucifer himself, how did I not notice until it was too late?  Why would he leave me like this?  Will I ever get him back?  My head is foggy around the Darkness, but not when it comes to him.  I just wish I could get through to him.  Lucifer taunts me, my heart rips in half.  We get the angel back, but nothing good can last in this life, can it?  God himself returns, I have to sacrifice myself to stop the Darkness.  I’ll do it, because of course I will, if I have an opportunity to do some good, I’ll take it.  The Darkness doesn’t kill me.  She thanks me.
My mother is alive.  It’s everything I’ve always wanted.  I have to learn fast that she’s not what I thought.  That’s hard.  Me and my brother end up in prison for trying to kill Lucifer, and we find out this girl is going to have his kid.  How will we kill someone innocent?  I can’t think about that, I’m a killer, I’ll kill if i have to.   The angel kills a reaper to save me, but what will happen to him?  We start looking for this kid, but do we even want to find it?  The angel nearly dies for me, he tells me, my family he loves us.  I wish I could tell him the same, but the words won’t work right in my brain, so I do what I always do, I look away.  The angel finds the girl, but the kid inside her gets to him, and he runs away from me.  Why does everyone run from me?  We find them just in time to find a rift to another world, and my brother has to drag me away from the angel, who is going to sacrifice himself to kill Lucifer.  He comes back, but before I can say the words I’ve been holding onto for so long, he dies in front of me, only this time, it’s real.  My mom is taken from me too, and I’m left by the angel’s side, staring up at the sky, wondering why, why me?
I bury the angel, my brother insists we can’t kill the kid, even though it’s his fault my mom is gone and the angel is...  I beg God to bring him back, please, bring him back.  You owe me this, please bring him back.  He doesn’t listen.  I’m alone.  We burn the angel, and I try to learn to live with regret and grief and crippling pain all at once.  I hate the kid, this is his fault.  I kill myself again to save some souls, but also because I want to die this time.  I can’t take it anymore.  Death tells me I have work to do, but how much more work can there be?  How much more can I take?  It’s like the Universe reads my mind, because my angel comes back, and it’s like the last few weeks haven’t happened.  I still can’t say the words, but maybe this time I’ll get there.  Maybe this time.  We go to the other world, we save some people, I find my mom.  I let another Michael from the other world possess me to defeat Lucifer, but then I can’t expel him.  Before he shuts me in my memories, I am desperately afraid.
My brother and the angel find me in my own head, the snap me out of it.  I should have known this bar was too good for me, I knew I didn’t deserve it.  I shut Michael in there, but I know I won’t last long. I think I’m too weak to hold him, so I build a box designed to hold me forever.  I dream about it, claw the sides of the wall until my nails are bloody, but if it’s my eternity or Michael’s rule?  I’ll take the ocean every time.  The angel will always try to save me, I still can’t say the words.  The kid, my kid, he destroys Michael, but something is wrong, and I don;t realize until it’s too late.  My mother is dead, at the hands of the kid, and I have never been angrier.  I hate the kid again, I hate the angel too, I hate myself more.  I pull a gun on the kid, but I still can’t pull the trigger.  Sometimes I wish I could put it to my own head.  God comes back, turns out he was the villain all along.  Typical.  He kills our kid.  I can’t let myself feel.
The angel tries to convince me that we’re real.  How can I believe that?  Is everything I am just a story?  Have I ever chosen anything?  Does the angel really care about me?  Do I really care about him?  Another one of our friends dies.  I blame the angel, I push him away, because I can’t look at him if I think what I feel for him might not be real.  I meet up with someone I loved.  He’s a monster now, I have to kill him.  He dies holding me.  I wish I was dead sometimes too.  My brother is sick, he gets kidnapped by God.  I’m spinning in circles.  Me and the angel end up in Purgatory again.  He gets taken from me.  I’m so alone, so scared, I break down in the one place I could get lost in forever searching for the angel, I don’t want to leave him, please, don’t make me leave him.  I have to keep looking, get back to the real world to save my brother.  How will I choose?  Thank god, or, whatever, I find the angel.  I’ll tell him this time, but he stops me.  He must know.  He doesn’t want me, no one wants me.  Why would they?  Chuck has taken everything from me.  I have to kill him, no matter the cost.  The cost is gonna be our kid, raised from the dead by Death.  I guess the one thing we have going for us is we don’t stay dead for long.  I’m ready to let my kid die for my freedom.  My brother stands in the way, I pull a gun on him.  He talks me down, he’s the only one that can.  I decide to take it out on Death, my pain, my anger, my rage.  I take the angel and we find her, she chases us.  Another trap.  I realize that I’ve trapped us both.  Why am I so worthless?
The angel looks at me.  He smiles.  He tells me how worthy I am, that I’m good, that I changed him.  How can I tell him how he changed me.  He tells me he’ll die for loving me.  Then he shouldn’t, I’m not worth his life.  Don’t leave me, please, I can’t lose you, you don’t know what it does it me when you leave me.  He tells me he loves me.  I try to tell him a fraction of the things I feel for him, but it’s too late.  He’s taken before my eyes, and this time I know there’s no getting him back.
I’m left on the floor, unable to move.
This time I know, I’ll never let myself love again, because my heart is so shattered that it’s powdered, there’s no repairing it now.  I’ve always been broken, but this time I’m not just broken: I’m destroyed.
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taestefully-in-luv · 3 years
Text
Always You | JJK (Eight-Part 1)
Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?
Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader
Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slight slow burn, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack, lots of drama
Word Count: 11.5k (part 1)
Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension (!!!), mentions of sex, oc struggles with her future, mentions of vibrator, mentions of cum eating, dirty talk, vaginal fingering, oral (female receiving), masturbation, swallowing
Notes: I am having to post this chapter in two parts, I am so sorry about that! But here it is!! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter:) feel free to send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist or just want to chat about the story:) I LOVE talking with ya’ll!
Taglist: @mooniyooni @thisartemisnevermisses @giadalin @kookiebunny097 @cosmosjk @moonchild1 @just-jeon @anpanman-sonyeondan @starlight-night0 @yessii-i @apollukee @mikasaredscarf1 @kaye-rosales @bunnyjeonjk @dyriddle @aclowe13 @bishuthot @271101 @seagulljk @hass-mich-los @peachy-skz0325 @wonusbitch @not-your-lion @flowersgirl02 @justinetingball @fiantomartell @fairysunooo @taebae19
© taestefully-in-luv
Previous ---- Next
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
September
“What about this one?” You hold up another birthday banner, showing Vanessa yet another option.
“Ugly.” She says.
This is the fourth fucking birthday banner you’ve shown her and she doesn’t approve of any of them. But you have to admit this one is a little ugly.
“Vanessa…” you groan out, getting very obviously frustrated.
“I like this one.” She points to a banner. The very first one you showed her.
“Seriously?” you grab the banner and place it in your cart. “Okay, we still have to pick up the cake at 3. And we need to make sure we have enough plates for everyone…oh! We also still have to pick up the bottles at the liquor store.”
“I can get the cake.” She replies smoothly.
“We can just go together?”
Today is Jungkook’s birthday and you and Vanessa have been (Kind of) texting throughout the last week trying to find a good day to meet up. The day happened to be today of all days, so you’re feeling quite rushed.
“Fine.” Vanessa picks at her cuticles, just standing here looking gorgeous.
You on the other hand…were not expecting this to be a fashion show! You’re in shorts and a t shirt while she wears a flowy green dress and sandals.
“I want to be the one to present his cake to him though,” Vanessa begins, her eyes never leaving her fingers, “I am his girlfriend after all.”
You hate that your chest tightens at her words, you hate how her words affect you like this, how she affects you like this. Just being in her presence alone makes your heart twist.
“Got it.” You place some birthday plates in the cart, “So…what did you get him for his birthday?” you try to make conversation.
“A cologne.”
“You know he’s sensitive to smells—”
“He likes this one.”
“Oh.”
“I know him better than you think y/n.” her smooth voice cuts you like a butcher knife.
You nod your head, not knowing what to say. Maybe she does. But like, you still know him better right? You got to, right?
“What about you?” Vanessa lifts her eyes to meet yours, her eyes are small and dark and inviting.
“Uh, to be honest…I’m meeting with Jimin after this so we can go shopping for his gifts. So, I don’t know yet but I have an idea.”
“And what’s your idea?” her eyes go back down to her nails that she keeps picking at.
“Friendship bracelets.” You state.
“Hm.” Vanessa pushes the cart forward and walks towards the isle with candles. “We still need nice candles for the cake.”
“Right.”
~~~~~~~
“It couldn’t have been that bad, babe.” Jimin holds up a plain black hoodie and nods approvingly. “Another one for his collection, what do you think?”
“Looks like something I’d steal, so yes.” You give him a quick thumbs up, “And it was bad dude. She’s so hard to talk to!”
“Yeah, I could see that.” Jimin stands in front of a full body length mirror and checks himself out, pushing his hair out of his face. “Forehead or no forehead, tonight?”
“Hmm, no forehead.”
“Forehead it is.”
“Wow, you never listen to me!”
Jimin chuckles wholeheartedly, shrugging his shoulders like he agrees with you.
“So, where are these bracelets you keep going on about?”
“That one weird shop buy the smoothie place has these cute bracelets with letters for names on them! I was thinking I could get him a black one with my initial on it and I would get myself one with his initial.”
“You guys are so…that’s cute I guess.” Jimin giggles, he holds up his wrist as if imagining himself with the bracelet. “I want one too!” he whines.
“Maybe for your birthday.” You wink. “Anyway, do you think Vanessa knows Jungkook better than me?”
Jimin stops walking to get a look at you, an expressions that reads: Are you serious? Plastered on his face.
“It’s a valid question.” You say.
“No one knows Jungkook like you honey.”
“Okay…Also, you’ll be meeting my friend Yoongi tonight!”
“The not date, date guy?” Jimin pouts, “I thought you weren’t going to lead him on…”
You scrunch up your face in confusion,
“I can have friends Jimin, I’m not leading him on!” you try to defend.
“If you say so. Just like, try to focus on one boy at a time, you know?” Jimin teases.
You two walk to the shop that sells the bracelets and go inside. You find the bracelets you’re looking for rather quickly, feeling nice and lucky. You grab them and go to pay, when you finish up at the register you notice a Jack Skellington key chain and add it on to Jungkook’s gifts. You always have trouble finding good gifts for people, okay? You take what you can get.
“Shit, it’s already 6. I still need to go home and get ready!”
~~~~~
Nick lets you and Vanessa use their place as the spot to celebrate, it’s bigger than your place and Vanessa agrees saying it’s bigger than hers as well. Nick and his bro that believes in aliens (You really got to learn his name but at this point you are too afraid to ask) are the only ones here as you and Vanessa set up.
“Bro AI is out to get us man—” Aaanndd you are tuning him out, you watch as Nick listens closely, nodding his head every few minutes and whispering ‘Bro’. You and Vanessa hang up decorations in silence, the sound of Nick and his bro chatting away filling the room.
“People should start arriving soon…” you try to make small talk with Vanessa, she only hums in response not even sparing you a glance.
“You look nice.” You try giving her a compliment, she turns her head to the side to look at you and a sly smile grows on her face.
“Do you have feelings for Jungkook?”
You immediately choke on your fucking spit, what the actual fuck? You try to compose yourself when you hear the front door opening. Thank God.
“It is I!” You know that voice. “Where is my Jungkookie?” You hear Jin entering the living room along with Namjoon and Hobi.
“Jimin should be bringing him in the next 30 or so minutes!” you yell out. Once Jin and the other two boys spot you they light up.
“y/n!!!” Jin hurries to your side and bring you in for a quick hug. “How are you?!”
“Good, good.” You laugh, hugging him back.
“Good to see you y/n” Namjoon says with a soft smile and then you hear your named being shouted even though Hobi is a foot away from you.
“Long time no see!!!” He hugs you, shaking you around in his embrace. You can’t help but chuckle at your friend.
“Hi guys, I’m so glad you could make it.”
“Would we miss our Jungkookie’s birthday? No way.” Jin says.
“Oh,” you turn around to see Vanessa just standing behind you, not saying anything just staring. “This is Vanessa. Jungkook’s—”
“We know!” Hobi says, “Jungkook has brought her to Jin’s. Nice to see you again Vanessa!”
Vanessa tilts her head and nods, her lips not even attempting to curve into a smile.
“You too.” She finally says.
This girl either has no manners or just does not know how to properly socialize? Maybe she gets anxiety being around too many people?
You feel your phone buzz.
Yoongs 7:14pm
Im outside
“Be right back guys, a friend of mine just got here.” You try talking over your group of friends. You head towards the front door, swinging it open to a Min Yoongi waiting patiently.
He smiles at you when he sees you, he holds up a bottle of wine and shakes it around a bit.
“For the party.” He says.
“Perfect, let’s pour us a glass right now!” you gesture him to enter the apartment.
You two walk into the kitchen, and you start searching for a wine bottle opener but can’t seem to find it.
“Hey Nick!” You yell out, hoping to get his attention, “Where’s the wine opener?”
Nick shuffles into the kitchen and gives you an expression that screams he has no idea.
“I know where it’s at.” Vanessa’s silky voice fills your ears as she enters the kitchen.
“Oh.” Of course she does. Why wouldn’t Vanessa know? She probably comes here more than you do…
“Thanks.” You finally say when she hands you the wine opener.
“Well, let’s open this baby up!” you turn to face Yoongi and he smiles at you.
“Hi Vanessa.” Yoongi waves at the girl and she hums in response, walking out of the kitchen.
“Sorry, she’s…” but you don’t know what to say. Also, why are you trying to excuse her?
You pour you and Yoongi a glass and gulp it down quickly, you finish your first glass in just seconds.
“I need another one.”
“What’s got you so stressed in a time of celebration?” Yoongi casually sips on his wine, one baby sip after the other.
“Nothing, nothing.”
“y/n…” his soft tone makes you feel comforted already and he hasn’t even said anything yet.
“I don’t know how to say it without sounding psychotic.” You admit, pouring yourself your second glass of wine.
“Try me.”
“I feel like I am competing…with…”
“With Vanessa?” He gladly finishes for you.
“Yeah, like…I don’t know, I feel like she’s trying to take my place. But my place isn’t ‘girlfriend’ so I don’t know what I’m freaking out about.”
Yoongi sets his glass down and studies you for a moment, you begin to feel antsy under his gaze.
“I’m obviously on your side,” Yoongi begins in a hushed voice, “But maybe she’s worried too?”
“I wish I knew if she felt worried, or felt like, anything. This girl is hard to crack!” you quietly say.
“Just try to enjoy the night, okay?” Yoongi smiles and you don’t even feel like smiling back but you do. Suddenly, you feel your phone going off.
Jungkook 7:32pm
Why is Jimin making me dress up? I thought it was just a couple of us? Why do I need to look nice, I’m tired from work
Jungkook 7:33pm
Seriously y/n…it’s just a couple of us, right?
y/n 7:35pm
omg yes Jungkook it’s nothing big I swear, he just wants you to look nice for pictures
Jungkook 7:36pm
I always look nice for pics lol
y/n 7:38pm
No comment
Jungkook 7:40pm
Don’t be fukin rude
` y/n 7:40pm
Can you guys hurry up?
Jungkook 7:44pm
Jimin is in the mirror deciding if he’s showing his forehead or not
y/n 7:45pm
classic Jimin
Jungkook 7:45pm
Classic Jimin
You stuff your phone in your back pocket and grab your glass of wine and begin sipping on it again. Yoongi eyes you up and smirks.
“That the birthday boy?”
“Hm? Oh, sorry…yes. He and Jimin should be here soon.” You watch as Yoongi nods his head and then you realize…”Oh my god, let me introduce you to the guys!” you set your glass down on the counter and reach for Yoongi’s hand and pull him towards the living room. Unfortunately for you, you miss the way Yoongi blushes at the contact.
“Guys, guys.” You interrupt the boys from their conversations, “This is my friend Yoongi…” you gesture towards the boy, “Yoongi, this is Jin…Namjoon, Hobi, and Nick and his pal, uh…” you blink at Alien Dude and he just grins at you, not realizing you don’t know his fucking name. “Yeah, anyway.” You decide to move on, “Jungkook and Jimin should be here soon—” Suddenly, there is soft knocking on the door. You raise a brow because who else could it be?
You walk towards the front door and look through the peep hole and much to your surprise you see Holly and Trina waiting outside the door. You’re quick to open it with a wide smile on your face.
“I thought you didn’t want to come?” You ask, your question directed towards Trina.
“I…” her eyes slide to Holly, “…Had a change of heart.” She huffs out quietly.
“You’re going to be civil?” you smirk at your friend and she rolls her eyes at you.
“She’s going to be more than civil.” Holly pipes up, “She’s going to be nice.”
“Hey we never agreed to that!” Trina crosses her arms over her chest, “But whatever.”
“Thanks for coming T.” your smirk transitions into a soft smile. This means a lot to you, that Trina is trying to accept Jungkook.
“Well? Are you going to let us in or what?”
“Right, right.” You move to the side and let the girls through. They step inside and make their way towards the boys.
“Oh? You must be Mister Oatmeal Raisin!” Trina grins towards Yoongi, who stands here chatting with Hobi.
“You’re…let me guess, Trina? And you must be Holly?” he nods at both girls, “I’ve heard a lot about you two.”
“I hope good things?” Trina teases.
“Only the best.” Yoongi raises his glass to her and she turns her head to smirk at you.
You watch as everyone gets along, talking, laughing and having a good time—all except Vanessa. She is sitting on the sofa on her phone, tapping away. She doesn’t even try to converse with any of Jungkook’s friends? Strange. You hate her, technically. But you can’t help but feel bad? Like, why does she isolate herself so much? Does she really just have some social anxiety or something? There’s got to be a reason for her odd behavior.
“Hey.” You say, sitting on the sofa next to her. “You okay?”
“Hm?” Vanessa doesn’t look up from her phone as she barely acknowledges you.
“Why don’t you come hang out with the rest of us?”
Vanessa tilts her head to get a look at you and she blinks at you repeatedly.
“Why?” she finally asks. “I’m only here for Jungkook.”
Okay, ouch.
“Oh...well—”
“You never answered my question from earlier,” Vanessas coy smile begins growing on her face. “How you feel about Jungkook.”
You feel your palms get sweaty when you process her words. How the hell do you respond to that?
“I—I…” Then the front door is opening and you hear Jimin obnoxiously announce their arrival, that he has the birthday boy.
You immediately jump to your feet and rush towards the entrance of the apartment to greet your friends.
“Too bad you can’t admit it, “ Vanessa whispers, her eyes going back to her phone, “I could help you too.”
“JUNGKOOKIE!!!” Jin opens his arms wide, “Come and embrace me! It’s your birthday gift.” Jungkook stumbles in the apartment with wide eyes as he searches the living room. His eyes find yours and he smiles. He shows you his bunny grin and you can’t help but smile back. He looks breathtaking, Jimin didn’t play around picking Jungkook’s outfit. Ripped black jeans, chunky boots, a plaid shirt with a leather jacket—he looks hot as hell. Vanessa is a lucky girl, you think bitterly to yourself.
Jungkook greets his friends one by one until he sees Yoongi walk from the kitchen into the living room. Yoongi has refilled his wine glass and stops just in front of Jungkook and bows his head in greeting. You rush to the two boys, joining them in this awkward encounter.
“Oh, I invited Yoongi.” You begin to explain, “You remember Yoongi, right?” you ask Jungkook.
“Of course…” Jungkook tries smiling but it’s tense and strained. At this, Yoongi smirks.
Yoongi steps closer to you and wraps an arm around your shoulder and he smiles at Jungkook.
“I’m y/n’s plus one tonight—or I guess her…date?”
“D-Date?” You and Jungkook both stutter out.
Yoongi brings you in closer, nice and snug against his shoulder as he chuckles.
“Something like that.”
Jungkook tries releasing a breath but finds it to be troublesome. He looks at you with an expression you cannot really decipher, but he doesn’t look all too pleased.
“That’s nice.” He finally says, scratching the back of his neck.
“What’s nice?” It’s a smooth and silky voice. Vanessa. “Happy birthday babe.” She joins your circle next to Jungkook and places a kiss on his cheek.
“Right…” you butt in, “Happy birthday Jungkook.” You smile, still in Yoongi’s arms.
“What do you want to do first?” Vanessa links arms with Jungkook and you feel your body go tense. You don’t want her to touch him.
“Eat.” Jungkook laughs, “I’m so hungry.”
“Well, we have pizza for everyone.” You say loudly, getting the rest of everyone’s attention.
“You say pizza? Hell yeah.” Trina walks towards you four with Holly following behind her.
“Oh hey Trina…” Jungkook says, not entirely too sure how to talk to the girl that hates him.
“Hey Jungkook,” she says quickly with a smile, “So where’s the pizza?”
Jungkook and you share a look of pleasant surprise. Trina? Being nice?
The rest of the boys follow and you all head inside the kitchen to snag a few slices of pizza from the pizzeria that Jungkook is fond of. Vanessa stays close to Jungkook’s side, not that you are surprised. But what is surprising you is that Yoongi has suddenly become slightly more affectionate with you?
Yoongi takes any chance he can get to touch you in some way, whether it be picking a piece of thread off your shirt, or placing a wild strand of hair behind your ear. He doesn’t really strike you as the type to be so openly affectionate…at least not the one to initiate it.
But can picking a piece of thread off your shirt really be counted as affectionate? Maybe he’s just trying to help. What you don’t know though…Jungkook has picked up on too. He has watched as Yoongi smiles at you and you smile back, he has watched as Yoongi subtlety touches your arm when he talks to you and how your hand finds his shoulder when you laugh.
Jungkook sits on his couch, chowing down on a slice of pizza as he glares at you and Yoongi. He doesn’t mean to glare but why is he here? This is a small get together between close friends. How close have you and Yoongi gotten?
“And then bro, I was like no fucking way bro.” Alien bro talks animatedly, his hands motioning all around the place.
Nick stuffs another slice of pizza in his mouth, nodding along to Alien bro’s story.
“That is fucking wild.” You hear Trina pitch in, “Like, did that really happen to you?”
“It may have been a dream, but let me tell you…” Alien bro closes his eyes, “I think it was real, like a memory.”
You internally laugh, because this dude has got some wild fucking stories and you don’t know how to take him seriously. But everyone seems to be enjoying it.
“Let’s do cake!” You hear Jimin yell out, “I have such a sweet tooth right now.”
At this you see Vanessa actually light up, like she has been waiting all night for someone to mention the cake. You two agreed she could present it to Jungkook, maybe that’s why she’s so visibly excited.
“I’ll go get it…” She speaks up, “I’ll be right back.” She says, facing Jungkook. Vanessa stands from her spot next to Jungkook on the couch and heads towards the kitchen.
A few minutes pass by when you hear your name being called. You get up and walk to the kitchen when you see Vanessa with the cake in her hands, the candles already lit up.
“Can you turn off the lights?” she asks, “And you can start the Birthday song.”
You nod your head, walking back into the living room to switch the lights off.
“Okay, ready Jungkook?” you smile at him and he rolls his eyes with a smirk.
“I guess.” He says, amusement laced in his voice.
“Happy birthday to you!” you begin singing, the rest of the gang joins in and the living room is soon being filled with the sound of everyone’s voices singing Jungkook a happy birthday. You pull out your phone and begin recording, Vanessa walks in with the cake and she keeps her face neutral. She doesn’t even sing, wow. You can’t help but kind of laugh, that’s so in character for her.
“Happy birthday dear Juuuungkoook, Happy birthday to you!” You all finish up and start whooping and hollering.
“Make a wish.” Vanessa sets the cake down in front of him and Jungkook nods his head. He takes a deep breath before his eyes find yours. You guys share a brief moment before he’s blowing out his candles.
“What did you wish for?!” Hobi asks, excitement filling the room as everyone agrees that they want to know.
“Secret.” He says, still looking at you.
“Here,” Vanessa nudges a perfectly wrapped box in Jungkook’s hands, “Present.”
“You didn’t have to Vanessa.” Jungkook grins at her but he’s already unwrapping his gift, he throws the wrapping paper to the floor and takes a look at the cologne box.
“This is so expensive!” he whines, “But thank you!” He looks at you for a moment when he awkwardly pecks Vanessas lips in front of everyone.
“My turn!” Jimin shouts, “My turn, my turn!” he stands up and walks by the front door where he left the gift. He picks up the bag and walks back into the living room, standing in front of Jungkook, handing him the bag.
“You’ll love it.” Jimin wiggles his brows at the boy.
Jungkook wiggles his brows back as he opens up the bag and pulls out a black hoodie.
“Fuck yeah.” Jungkook stands up to hug Jimin, “This one is so soft.”
The rest of the gang gives Jungkook a gift one by one until all eyes are on you. Suddenly, you feel super fucking shy and lame that you got matching bracelets.
“Uh, I haven’t gotten anything for you yet…” you lie. “But I will soon, promise.”
Jungkook’s bunny smile begins to fade as he processes your words,
“No worries, y/n.” he smiles again, “You don’t have to get me anything.”
“It’s just a little late, is all.” You shift awkwardly from one foot to another. You wish you weren’t such an idiot. You notice Jimin staring at you from across the room, he looks disappointed.
“What about the bracelets y/n?” Vanessa’s voice can be heard by everyone. She looks at you with a blank expression and you never wanted to strangle someone more.
“What bracelets?” Jungkook’s curiosity showing.
“It’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing. They’re friendship bracelets. Such a sweet idea.” Vanessa smiles at you.
“You got me and you friendship bracelets?” Jungkook stands up and walks to you, he extends his right hand out and waits expectantly.
“Thanks Vanessa.” You deadpan.
“No problem.”
“It’s really nothing Jungkook…”
“I want the damn bracelet y/n.”
You stare at him for a moment, his big doe eyes making you feel like you must give in.
“okay, they’re in my bag…” you turn around and search for your purse. You notice Yoongi trying to hand it you and you smile at him gratefully.
“Here.” You hand him his bracelet and he inspects it, rolling it through his fingers.
“Your initial?” Jungkook clenches the bracelet in his fist and looks up at you.
“I fucking love it.” He brings the bracelet to his heart, “I will wear it every day.”
“I have one too…” you pull it from your bag and dangle in around.
“It has a J?” Jungkook bunny smile grows ten times as wide. He takes the bracelet from your fingers and chuckles at the two bracelets.
“I love it.”
“I’m glad you like it—”
“No, love it. I love…” Then he’s clearing his throat, remembering he is in a room full of people.
“Thank you.”
“Oh! There’s one more thing…” you pull out the key chain and you watch as Jungkook’s face lights up. Of course he is more excited about the key chain, you laugh.
“Fucking awesome!” Jungkook takes it from you, “I’ll put it on my keys!”
“That’s the idea,” you chuckle. “Anyway, let’s play games now.”
You and Jungkook stand at the front of the living room, in front of the T.V in battle mode.
“You’re going down Jeon.” You snicker at him, he only rolls his eyes at you as he readies himself.
“I’m just glad I’m not going against Jimin.” Jungkook shoots Jimin a look and Jimin winks.
You two have to chug an entire beer can, trying to beat the other.
“Honestly, same.” You admit, if anyone can down a drink in seconds—it’s Jimin.
Trina stands up and joins your side,
“Okay, are we ready everyone?”
Everyone begins cheering, the sound motivating you and making you feel excited.
“Okay. When I yell…BAM…you start drinking and don’t stop until that can is empty…got it?”
“Yes, we know how to chug a drink, Trina.”
“Damn girl, I was just sayin’.” Trina throws a hand on her hip, “Okay, 3…2…1…BAM!”
You and Jungkook scramble to start drinking, the chilly liquid making its way down your throats. The drink is cold and carbonated and you’re trying to ignore the way it sizzles, instead pretending it’s as smooth as water and you down it back.
“Jungkook is going to win!” Namjoon yells out, he has risen to his feet, the excitement too much.
“No, y/n is! Look how much her head it tilting back!” You hear Jin chime in.
Truth is, you aren’t really sure how much you’ve drank, or how much is left! You’re just wanting it to be over!
“Holy shit, they’re both so close!”
“Broooooooo”
And right as you’re about to finish your drink you hear the sound of a can being crushed right next to you. He won.
“WHAT’S UP…LOSER!” Jungkook shakes his empty, crushed can in your face as you finally finish your own drink.
“Okay, okay. Literally only let you win because it’s your birthday.” You snide playfully.
“Sure y/n, sure.” Jungkook grins down at you, his laughter bounces off the walls and you feel so whole when you hear the sound. He leans forward until his arms are wrapped around you in a quick yet loving hug.
“Whatever you got to say to yourself…loser.” He chuckles out, letting go of you.
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” Your pout is so cute, Jungkook thinks.
Yoongi stands up, his gummy smile lighting up the room as he approaches you two. He stands next to you and asks if you’re alright.
“You’ve already had so much to drink, I’m just making sure you can make it back to the sofa.” Yoongi’s shoulders shake as he laughs.
“She can handle herself.” You hear Jungkook say in a somewhat serious tone, “She knows how to drink.” He tries to say a little more lightly.
“But she doesn’t really have to do the penalty, right?” Yoongi asks.
“No, I definitely do.” You laugh out, “Where’s the shot, huh?”
Jungkook gives you a silly looking smirk as he heads towards the kitchen to fetch you that shot. He’s only gone for a moment when you realize he has returned with the liquid of fire.
“For you, princess.”
You roll your eyes at his little nick name he’s given you but you cannot help the blush that creeps on your cheeks…
“Please…please.” You pant, rolling your hips into his as you meet his desperate thrusts.
“Please what, princess?” he breathes out heavily, “Told you that when you’re with—” He begins fucking into you faster, “When you’re with me…to use your words.” His pace is bruising, causing you to choke on the air around you.
The little nick name causing you to remember something you have tied burying.
“I think you should take one too, since it is your birthday after all.” You tease.
“But I’m the winner…” Jungkook pouts, his bottom lip jutting out so far.
“Come on, I bet you won’t.” Jimin pipes in.
“Yeah dude.” You hear Nick say.
“FINE!” Jungkook throws his hands up in defeat, “But you have to go pour it for me.” He says, looking at you.
“Done deal, baby.”
“Pour me one too.” Vanessa walks up to you, her strap on her shoulder sliding down.
“Oh?” you ask, but you nod your head in approval and head towards the kitchen to pour two more shots.
You return with the shots, but feel your stomach drop when you see Jungkook and Vanessa laughing together, her hand laying on his chest, his arm wrapped around her waist.
“Oh!” Jungkook looks at you and smiles, “The shots!”
“Yeah…”
And then Min Yoongi is at your side with his own shot, he looks at you and gives you a sweet smile and eyes full of understanding.
“Let’s take them.” He says. His hand going to yours, he squeezes it tight and you feel yourself trying to breathe.
“Here you go.” You hand the two shots to Jungkook and Vanessa, they take them and you four look at one another before raising your glasses.
“Happy birthday, Jungkook.” You whisper, taking the shot.
Hours pass, and things are starting to wind down, you think. Jin, Namjoon and Hobi are at the front door saying their goodbyes and you feel your time is coming soon too.
“Us too.” Trina says, “Our uber is almost here.” Her and Holly gather their things and make their way out the door.
“Jimin, you coming with us?” Trina asks.
“Um, what about you y/n?” Jimin makes it to your side, his hand going to rub your shoulder.
“You guys go without me, I’m going to help clean up. Hostess duties!” You salute towards your friends and they giggle.
“Okay babe, I’ll see you soon?” Jimin goes in for a tight hug and you hug him back even tighter.
“Yeah.”
“I’ll help you clean up.” Yoongi offers, but you shake your head.
“No, I couldn’t ask that. Me and Vanessa got it. You go home too, it’s so late. I will come by to see you soon though.”
“Are you sure?” Yoongi asks as he catches Jungkook watching you two. “Well, if you insist y/n.” he inches towards you and to your surprise, you feel his lips leave a small kiss on your cheek. Yoongi smirks when he sees Jungkook react. Jungkook glares at the boy and Yoongi feels like hopefully he helped enough tonight.
“What was that for?” you feel yourself turn red.
“Nothing.” He whispers before he’s turning around and walking out of the door.
You are left here shocked and confused but you cannot help but smile at Yoongi’s small gesture. He really is too sweet.
“Well,” you turn around to face Jungkook and Vanessa, “Let’s clean up,” you say to Vanessa, “And then I’ll get out of your hair.”
“Actually,” Vanessa curls her lips upwards, “I am feeling quite tired.” Her eyes find yours, “So maybe Jungkook can help you clean up.”
“You’re going home already?” Jungkook looks confused. He was probably expecting birthday sex or some shit.
“Mhm.” She breathes out easily, “See you later babe.” She leans over and pecks his cheek, you immediately twist your head to look away. Vanessa notices and she fucking smiles that sly ass smile. “See you later, y/n.”
And with that she is out of the apartment, leaving just you and Jungkook and Nick and Alien Bro.
“We will be out on the balcony smoking, if you guys want to join.” Nick offers to you, but you’re shaking your head no.
“Nah, you guys enjoy.” Jungkook says. Nick and Alien bro (You really got to learn this dudes name) are opening the back door and leaving you guys for the balcony.
“And then there was two.” Jungkook jokes, he chews on his lips as he watches you begin the cleaning up process. You get a large black trash bag and start throwing away the empty beer bottles and other trash around the living room and kitchen.
“Help me clean, birthday boy.”
Jungkook grins at you and starts helping, he’s gathering the shot glasses and setting them in the kitchen sink. You two work like this for around 10-15 minutes when the place is finally looking like his apartment again.
“Well, I guess that’s it.” You set the last trash bag in the kitchen, “You and Nick can take these out later, right?” “Yes, y/n. You did enough, I swear.” Jungkook smiles at you. “Hey, where’s your bracelet?” he dangles his wrist around, showing you his.
“Oh…” You dig around in your pockets until you finally find the piece of jewelry.
“Let me.” Jungkook stands closer to you, reaching his hand out, expecting you to hand over the bracelet. You place it in his hand and he grabs your wrist and clips the bracelet on.
“There.” He breathes out, “Never take it off.” He half jokes.
“You really like it?”
“I really love it.” Jungkook pulls you in for a hug, but he’s letting go much faster than you would like.
“Wanna chill for a bit?” He asks you, his hands still on your arms from your hug that you just shared.
“For a bit, sure.”
You two walk to the living room sofa and plop down, the long day finally catching up to you. It’s around 1 am now, you’ve been running around all day.
“So…” Jungkook looks at you with an unreadable expression, “What’s going on with you and this Yoongi guy?”
“What do you mean?”
“Was tonight like, a date for you two?”
“What? No?”
“Really? Could of fooled me and like, everyone else.”
“He was just joking…I think.” You groan into your hands, and laugh. “Why?”
“I was just wondering.” He turns to face forward, his face hardening as he thinks. “Is he going to be like, your boyfriend?”
“What?!” you choke on your spit, “Yoongi is my friend.”
“Does he know that?” Jungkook continues to look forward, “He was all over you.”
“He definitely was not all over me. Oh my god. What are you getting so crazy for?”
Crazy. That’s the word you use, but he knows you mean jealous. Jungkook sits here, biting on his bottom lip. He has to admit, he doesn’t like this ‘crazy’ feeling. He feels like he’s suffocating just remembering you with Yoongi tonight. He has no right to feel crazy or jealous. He has a girlfriend for fucks sake!
“I just hope he’s treating you right.”
“He’s just a friend Jungkook. But you know what? And if he was trying to date me?”
Jungkook feels his chest tighten, not liking the idea already.
“Then like I said, I hope he’s treating you right.” He says more softly, turning to look at you again.
“Did you enjoy your birthday?”
“It was nice, thank you.”
“What’s your favorite birthday in your life so far?”
Jungkook tilts his head as he thinks, rocking it side to side. He folds his arms behind his head and lets out a long breath.
“There’s two I can think of.” He says, “When I was 10 all I wanted to do was see one of those drive thru zoo things. But I wasn’t expecting much because I guess birthdays and holidays were stressful for my parents…” he takes a deep breath, “they always fought so much and so I didn’t think we would be doing anything for my birthday at all. But they for once, they got along this day. They took me to the zoo and I just remember being so on edge like something may go wrong…but it never did, it was a perfect day.”
“I bet 10 year old Jungkook was so cute.”
“I was the cutest!”
“And what’s the second?”
“Sophomore year of college.” He states quickly making you choke on air. Really? That birthday of all birthdays?
“Jungkook, there has to be a better one than that…” you begin, “We literally didn’t even do anything.”
It seemed everyone happened to become busy the day of Jungkook’s birthday, everyone except you. You and Jungkook spent the day just the two of you in his dorm room watching movies and playing video games. You didn’t even buy him a present, much too broke!
“That day meant a lot to me.” Jungkook explains, “You didn’t leave my side, no matter what.”
“Well, you were my best friend.”
“And now?” Jungkook turns his head to face you, “Am I your best friend now?”
“Jungkook…” you caress his thigh, “Of course.”
Jungkook throws his head back as he smiles that bunny smile and you can’t help but giggle.
“Were you worried?”
“So worried.” He continues to laugh, “You’re my best friend too.”
~~~~~
October
“I don’t know guys!” you whine, bringing the cup of coffee in for a sip. “Marketing…can someone even be passionate about that?”
“What did I say y/n? You’re so concerned if you’re passionate or not, why don’t you start off small—finding something you just like.” Yoongi offers his piece of advice but you groan.
“What do you think Tae?” you point your head in his direction, “Wait, I am asking one of the most passionate people I know.” You complain.
“I agree with Yoongi, y/n.” Taehyung says, he drinks his water in gulps.
“Of course, who wouldn’t agree with Yoongi?” You hit your head on the table a few times.
You three are seated in Yoongi’s record shop in the cozy corner of the store, discussing the burden of dreams.
“I mean, guys.” You begin, “I don’t want to be making cookies forever.”
“But I really like them.” Yoongi whispers.
“Me too,” Taehyung says as he shoves a sugar cookie down his throat. “So good.”
“Guys, you aren’t helping.”
“Honestly y/n…” Yoongi stands from his seat to get some more coffee, “Stop trying to force a dream to happen. It will come to you naturally, just trust in that.”
“You make it sound so easy.” You hand Taehyung another cookie and he takes it with a grin.
“So y/n…” Taehyung swallows down the last bits of the cookie before he’s turning to face you in his chair, “How was Jungkook’s birthday, I forgot to ask.”
“It went really well actually.”
“Why do you say ‘actually’?” Taehyung laughs, “Were you expecting it to go bad?”
“It’s not that…I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Is it because of Vanessa?” Yoongi comes back with two fresh coffees.
“Maybe.”
“That’s his girlfriend, right? I just don’t get it. Should we come up with an evil plan to break them up?” Taehyung snickers.
“Tae, chill.” You giggle.
“I’m joking but I am also totally serious.” He comments. “Anyway guys, I gotta head back to the museum. But same time next week?”
“You know it.” You blow on your hot coffee, waving him goodbye.
The last few weeks the three of you meet up for coffee (Tae usually brings his own drink of choice, says coffee is too bitter for him) and chit chat just like now. It’s an interesting group but you feel comfortable. After time has passed, forgiving and moving on from Taehyung’s crushing you has gotten easier and now you even find his friendship to be quite valuable. You guess they weren’t kidding when they say time heals all wounds.
“Are you two ever going to tell me what happened between you? You were so tense when he first started hanging out.” Yoongi says, observant as usual.
“I will. But another day,” you smile.
“No rush.” Yoongi drinks his coffee slowly, “Whenever you’re ready.”
“By the way, did it work?” Yoongi asks between sips.
You can’t help but raise your brows in question,
“Did what work?”
“Did Jungkook say anything? About being jealous?” He gives you a smirk.
“What are you talk—wait, were you purposely trying to be affectionate with me to see if Jungkook would get a rise out of it?” You ask, completely shocked. That seems almost out of character for Yoongi!
“I tried. I’m a little awkward being the first to show affection, “ he admits, “But for you, my friend, I was willing to try.” He gives you a shy smile and you feel your heart race.
“Yoongi—”
“You really don’t even have to answer because I know the truth. I could see it on his face, but I was curious if he said anything to you.”
You think back to Jungkook’s birthday and well…he technically did say something to you. He was being a little crazy (jealous) but you cannot understand why. Jungkook is your friend and not to mention he has a girlfriend.
“Sorry to disappoint Yoongs, but he did not.” You decide to say.
“Did you know you avoid all eye contact when you want to lie.” Yoongi takes another sip of his coffee, his sly smile telling you he knows the truth.
“Jeez, why do you pick up on things so quickly?!” you groan, “I can’t even tell one little nothing lie in front of you.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t try to lie to me then.” He laughs. “So what did he say?”
“He just—I don’t know. He just…wanted to know what was up with you basically.”
Yoongi opens his mouth to say ‘Ah’ and then continues to drink his coffee.
“He’s not going to be rude to you or anything!” you quickly say, “he’s just a little protective over me, is all.”
“Oh? That’s all?” Yoongi teases.
“Hey…” you set your cup down and fold your hands in your lap, “What makes you think Jungkook feels the same way?”
Yoongi breathes out slowly, his fingers tapping against his mug when he looks up at you and smiles.
“There’s an obvious tension between you two, “ he starts, “The way he looks at you. That honestly gave everything away. His eyes always find you, no matter what.” Yoongi quietly chuckles, “The way he’s threatened by me. He doesn’t even try to hide it.” Yoongi thinks for a moment, “And…you two, the way you are together…god, it’s like watching two people who are in a relationship but don’t know they’re in a relationship.”
“What—what do you mean by that?” you pry further. Curious about your own dynamic with Jungkook that maybe even you can’t see.
“I don’t know like, you guys act like boyfriend and girlfriend already!” he laughs, “That’s when I knew I didn’t stand a chance.”
“Yoongi…”
“It’s okay,” his gummy smile lights up his whole face, “being your friend has been so much more rewarding.”
You feel yourself smile at his words…although, you do feel bad. But keeping a friend like Yoongi around has been amazing. And maybe if you weren’t already in love with someone else…no, you shouldn’t even think that, that’s not fair.
“Thanks Yoongs.”
~~~~~~
“We need to talk.”
Jimin is shoving his way through Jungkook’s front door, his hair pushed back in frustration like his fingers have been running through it for hours.
“Jesus man, it’s like 8 in the fucking morning.” Jungkook’s low, groggy voice booms from his chest.
“This couldn’t wait. I have to be at work at 9 and I’ve been up all night with the same one thing on my mind.” Jimin takes off his shoes and makes his way to the couch.
“And what’s that?” Jungkook asks, clearly annoyed.
“You need to tell y/n how you feel.” Jimin decides to go with the straight forward approach, he does not have the time to beat around the bush today.
Jungkook closes the door and swings around to face Jimin,
“Huh?”
“Listen man, I’ve been racking my brain about it all fucking night. It’s got to be you. You have to do it, she won’t.”
“Why the fuck would I do that?”
“Grow the fucking balls, man!” Jimin sits back on the sofa, his head falling into the cushion.
“Look dude, I don’t know what you—”
“You’re in love with her, you have been since freshmen year. You guys fucked, I know. She didn’t talk to you for however long, I know that too. But come on man, it’s so clear how you both feel.”
Jungkook continues to stand here, not knowing what to say. Where is all this coming from?
“I have a girlfriend, Jimin.”
“Oh please, give me a fucking break.” Jimin stands up, walking towards Jungkook. “There is almost zero chemistry between you two. Like emotional chemistry…I don’t know what your sex life is like…” Jimin holds up a hand, “And I don’t want to know.”
“Wasn’t going to tell you anyway,” Jungkook pouts. “Listen, how can you be so sure y/n would even feel the same way?”
“Can’t you just fucking trust me?” Jimin yells out, exasperated.
“Did she say the words Jimin?” Jungkook becomes very serious, making Jimin shudder. “Did she tell you she has feelings for me?” his dark eyes pierce into Jimin’s.
Jimin looks down at the ground, feeling defeated.
“You know I can’t tell you that.” Jimin finally says, “You just have to have the courage man. Are you really going to go your whole life not telling her? Why torture yourself like that?”
Jungkook stands here feeling so lost, and fucking emotional. Like, he could god damn cry about it.
“Because,” Jungkook sniffles into his sleeve. “It’s guaranteed she would be in my life. I can’t risk losing her. I couldn’t handle that man…” Jungkook begins to choke up.
Jimin walks closer to Jungkook and pulls him in for a tight hug, Jungkook keeps his arms to his side.
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Jimin whispers.
“I think though…that there will be a moment where you finally have the courage…”
“I don’t know.”
“You will, Jungkook. When the timing is right…but I don’t know when that is for you two.”
“I really do love her…” Jungkook allows a few tears to slip from his closed eyes into Jimin’s shoulder. “I’m so frustrated like, all the time.” He admits, “Seeing her, talking to her, I just want to tell her how I feel. I hate how hard I have to try just to stay in the zone of friendship. But you don’t understand the risk…” Jungkook leans back, pulling away from Jimin. “If she doesn’t feel the same, I could lose her.” His puffy eyes avoid Jimin. “Can I handle a loss like that again?”
“But she…” Jimin has to bite his tongue…seeing his two best friends like this hurts his heart beyond belief.
“Yeah, I understand.” Jimin decides to say, “But I think you might be surprised.”
Jungkook pulls his brows together, his face scrunching up and he scoffs.
“Maybe, but maybe not.”
“I’m sorry to bring this all on you so early in the morning…I’ve just been so worried about you two…” Jimin starts to put his shoes back on.
“Maybe you could stay until you really need to leave for work? You still go like 45 minutes, right?” Jungkook practically begs with sad, soft eyes.
“Sure.” Jimin takes his shoes back off and grabs a hold of Jungkook’s shoulder, “Let’s sit down for a while.”
The two boys head to the couch and take a seat, leaving little space between them. Jungkook needs the presence of another human being right now, he needs to feel real live warmth. Jimin wishes he could mend Jungkook’s cracked heart but he knows only you can do that. But Jimin can try his best. The two sit in comfortable silence, the only sound that can be heard is Jungkook’s light sniffling and Jimin humming a soft tune.
“It’s almost 9.” Jimin mentions regretfully.
“I know. Thanks for staying for a bit.”
“Of course.” Jimin rises from the couch, “You guys are my best friends but you two sure are fucking idiots.” He smiles and makes his way to leave.
~~~~~~
Bored. So fucking bored. Trina and Holly went out for dinner tonight and you were not invited! You kind of wonder what’s going on between them…but that’s a thought for another day, right now you are so fucking bored.
It’s Friday night and you don’t know what to do with yourself. Jimin has some party he’s going to tonight but you didn’t really feel like going so you rejected his invitation, Jin and the guy’s invited you over for a cookout but you said no because you didn’t feel like driving all the way to Jin’s place—you know, lazy.
And you haven’t heard from Jungkook all day so he’s probably tired from work or worse—with Vanessa. But would it hurt to try? To see what he’s up to?
y/n 9:04pm
hi
Jungkook 9:10pm
Hi
y/n 9:12pm
Whatcha up to tonight?
Jungkook 9:13pm
Nothing really, you?
y/n 9:13pm
nothing either…
y/n 9:13pm
Wanna have a movie night with some wine?
Jungkook 9:20pm
Sure:)
Jungkook 9:23pm
Lemme guess, I have to bring the wine
y/n 9:23pm
Bingo!
Jungkook 9:50pm
I’m almost there
Not even 5 minutes later you hear your door being knocked on, and you yell a ‘come in’. Jungkook pushes the door open and finds you sitting on the couch wrapped up in your favorite blanket. He shuts the door behind him, and walks to the kitchen for some wine glasses. You two only nod at one another in greeting, getting comfortable in each others presence.
“I brought 2 bottles,” Jungkook says, “One for you, one for me.”
“Wow, you’re so smart.” You smile up at him and his heart clenches in his chest. Your smile is so special, it’s so soft and so fucking pretty he almost cannot handle it.
“Y-Yeah.” He sets the glasses down on the table that sits in front of the sofa. “What movie do you have in mind?”
“You can choose.”
“Iron Man?” “No, not that.”
“Fine.” He pouts, “Let’s find something new on Netflix.”
An hour into some random drama, you find yourself getting sleepy.
“Wakey wakey.” You feel Jungkook’s breath on your ear, you open your eyes a little wider to prove your consciousness.
“I am awake…hey,” you suddenly get an idea, “Remember a little while ago you said you felt like our friendship kind of started over?”
“Hm? Yeah?”
“Would if we do?”
“I don’t get it?” Jungkook asks clearly confused.
“Let’s play a game! Of getting to know each other better. Everything out on the table.” You say with a pleased smile, obviously loving your own idea.
“hmmmmm…” Jungkook wraps his blanket closer around his body, “Sure.”
“Yay! I’ll pull out a list of questions from the internet.” You get your phone and google a list of questions. “You ready?” you say with a wink.
“I guess so.” He playfully shrugs his shoulders and shows you a small smile.
“Okay one…What’s your favorite way to spend a day off?”
“hmm…sleeping in, working out, playing video games, making videos, sleeping some more, hanging out with you.”
“Wow, honored.” You tease. “For me, it’s sleeping all day.”
“That’s it? That’s your whole answer?” Jungkook giggles.
“What type of music are into to?”
“y/n…” Jungkook whines, “You already know these answers…”
“We’re pretending we don’t!”
“Fine, I like almost all genres but I really prefer ballads.”
“I like music with meaningful lyrics,” you say.
“I agree.” Jungkook grins at you.
“Next…Do you have a favorite holiday. Why or why not?”
Jungkook nibbles on his lips as he thinks…is he honest?
“I use to hate holidays.” He admits softly, slightly slurring thanks to the wine, “But now it’s Christmas and New Year’s. And why? Both reasons are because of you.”
You feel your cheeks become warmer and probably pinker.
“Mine too.” You say quickly, “Next,” you are in a rush to change the subject. “Do you want a family of your own?”
“One day, yes. With the right person…”
“I’m the same.” You scroll through the questions, “If you had only one sense…hearing, touch, sight, etc, which would you want?”
“Touch. Imagine not being able to feel things?” Jungkook asks, he thinks about not being able to feel the soft touch of sheets on a bed, the feel of your hair between his fingers, your skin, your lips—wait, he needs to chill. “Yeah, touch.”
“Really? I would choose sight.” You say, “Who do you admire most in this world?”
“Mom.” Jungkook whispers, “She was so strong, she went through so much yet still found the strength to love me.”
“You.” Your hand finds Jungkook’s, you hold on to him softly, “My answer is you.”
“y/n…” Jungkook leans into your side, “Thank you.”
You clear you throat and continue scrolling through your phone, looking for the next question.
“If you found out today is your last day on Earth, what would you do?”
“Exactly what I’m doing right now.”
“Honestly? Me too.” You whisper, you feel your heart beginning to race as you and Jungkook admit that if it were your last day, you would spend it together. Somehow the thought almost seems romantic to you…that’s obviously your imagination but you can dream.
“What’s the last thing you do at night?”
Jungkook wiggles his brows at you and you hit his arm, laughing.
“Gross.” You giggle. “Something besides that.”
“What? You think it’s gross to mast—”
“Don’t!” you yell out laughing. “Don’t be gross.”
“Everyone does it y/n…I bet even you.” Jungkook voice goes low. “in fact, I have a question for you.” Jungkook scoots closer to you, “When was the last time you got yourself off?” your eyes go wide, “It’s not like you’re seeing anyone…unless you and Yoon—”
“No!” You begin to panic, “I’m not seeing anyone, you’re right.”
Jungkook releases a long breath and he smiles, “Thought so.” Then he’s scooting even closer to you.
“How do you touch yourself y/n?” He slurs out, “With your fingers only? Perhaps you use a vibrator?”
You push your head back in shock, there’s no way in hell Jungkook just asked you that? Is he drunk? Barely.
“Why do you want to know that?” you scoot a little closer to him too.
“Best friends know this type of stuff about each other all the time, don’t they?”
“Not really…but I’ll play. I use both.”
Jungkook raises a brow in amusement, he bites on his bottom lip as his smirks at you.
“You own a vibrator?” Jungkook chuckles darkly, “How come I didn’t know?”
“Why would I tell you that?”
“I bet Jimin knows.”
“Fine, he does.”
Jungkook narrows his eyes at you as he tries to hold in his slight laughter, his hand comes to his mouth and he chuckles into it.
“Thought so…when’s the last time you used it?”
“Last night before bed.”
“So, it’s the last thing you did at night?” Jungkook points his finger at you knowingly and you can’t help but laugh.
“Okay, I see where this is going. Fine, I get. We all masturbate. It’s completely normal and not gross and a totally valid answer for something you do before bed.” You throw your hands up as you giggle.
“Thank you.” Jungkook knees touch yours as he scoots just an inch closer, “But I wasn’t trying to make a point, I was genuinely curious about you.” He admits in a deep voice and you squeeze your thighs together, an action that does not go unnoticed by him. His eyes land to your lap and he chuckles. His voice is so low and inviting as he speaks, “Are you curious about me too?”
“What do you mean?”
“About when’s the last time I—”
“Fine, when’s the last time?” you ask lightly.
“Right before I came here.” He admits easily.
“Interesting.”
You and Jungkook stare at one another for what feels like at least an hour but in reality probably seconds. But his dark gaze is so raw and powerful, you find yourself leaning into his space.
“The last time I used my vibrator was yes, last night. But the last time I touched myself was tonight. Before you arrived.”
Jungkook nods his head in understanding, or maybe it’s approval? Either way he nods his head as a sly smile creeps on his lips.
“Can I ask you what you thought about?” Even Jungkook widens his eyes in surprise as he asks that. Where did that confidence come from? “Sorry that’s TMI.” He quickly rushes to say, not wanting to really hear your answer because he shouldn’t know what you fantasize about especially if he’s not in said fantasies.
You lean your head back and snicker. You wish you had the fucking courage to tell him the truth. Him. You thought about him.
In your fantasy his head was between your legs, licking you up and making you squirm. He would moan into your greedy cunt, basking in your juices. God, you can just picture it now. His mouth and nose covered in you, the shine on his face evidence of how well he’s eaten you. His fingers still buried inside you as he lifts his head up to smirk down at you, his hair a fucking mess from how much you have tugged on it.
You’d be lying if you said you weren’t thinking about it right now and getting so heavily turned on. Your chest heaves just a little more than usual, and there’s an ache between your legs that you wish Jungkook would soothe. Your fantasy of him going down on you? You took that straight from your memories.
“Not going to say anything?” Jungkook leans in a little closer.
“Sorry, just thinking.”
“About…?”
“You.”
Jungkook’s eyes expand as he processes what you just say until—
“Wait, wait. That came out wrong.” Your hands scramble to hold on to his shoulders. “I mean, I was thinking about you. But not like that.” You lie. Because you have to lie.
“Oh…right, that makes sense.” Jungkook visibly deflates at your confession.
“Anyway, yeah. That’s a TMI for sure.” You laugh awkwardly and Jungkook leans back away from you.
“For sure.” Jungkook leans back on the sofa, “So, what’s the next question?”
“Ever had a threesome?” you ask from your own brain.
“You already know I have.”
“With two girls or with another guy…?”
“Two girls.”
“Would you ever with another guy?”
“Maybe if it’s with a girl that doesn’t mean something to me…but if it’s with someone I care about, probably not. I think I may be too possessive. Don’t wanna share.”
“Ah, I see.”
“What about you?”
“I would do both.” You admit. “Sounds like fun…”
“It is fun,” Jungkook laughs, “But there’s something special about just being with one person, if it’s special…”
“Have you ever had sex with someone special?”
“Yes.”
Oh. Jungkook’s never been in a serious relationship since you’ve known him so you weren’t expecting him to answer that with a yes…but he is with Vanessa now. So obviously…
“I see.”
“What’s the next question?”
“I’m looking up a new list. It’s kind of sexy, is that okay?”
“A list of dirty questions? I’m down.” Jungkook smirks and you feel the heat between your legs grow.
“Okay the first one is asking if you’re a virgin and I think the whole town knows the answer to that…”
“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?!”
You laugh out, “Nothing, nothing.” Then continue scrolling, “Okay, opinion on shower sex?”
“Hmm, I’ve done, and I will do it again.”
“For me, it’s a little uncomfortable but I’ll do it,” you say, “boob or butt guy?”
“Fuck. Both of them, can I say both?” Jungkook pleads and you giggle.
“Sure, both.” Your eyes light up when you find the next question. “Oooh. What is your most embarrassing sex story?”
“Oh god…okay. When I was in high school I was getting head from this girl…”
“Uh huh…and then?”
“We got caught by our teacher and that’s a total mood killer right?”
“Right?”
“Well, when the teacher was scolding me I popped another boner. And I was wearing sweats so it was super obvious and she was trying so hard not to make it obvious. But I don’t know, my body betrayed me.”
“You got hard from getting scolded?”
“Apparently.”
You burst out into giggles, the story absolutely killing you. Who does that? Who pops a boner from getting scolded…by their fucking teacher?
“Your turn, your turn.”
“Okay…one time I was giving head…”
“Uh huh…and then?” he copies you.
“And I guess I swallowed his cum too fast because it shot out of my nose like milk.”
“What the fuck y/n.” Jungkook laughs out hysterically. “That’s so awesome.”
“It wasn’t awesome Jungkook, it was embarrassing.”
“Perspective.”
“In what world is someone’s perspective on this awesome?” “Mine.”
“Well, you’re fucking weird.
“Maybe so.” Jungkook continues to laugh, “What’s next?”
“Do you prefer to give or receive?”
“Who doesn’t love to receive? That’s obvious. But me? I am a giver, 100%”
And he’s right. Hence why you’re able to use the memory of him going down on you as good masturbation material.
“I see.”
“I think I am a giver too.” You look down at your phone, “But who doesn’t love to receive?”
“You do give nicely.” Jungkook whispers, “Anyway what’s the next one?”
“Do you like sexting?”
“Fucking love it. I love the dirty words and pictures.” He admits.
“Yeah, me too.”
What would it be like to be texting Jungkook throughout the work day, sending one another your dirtiest fantasies and pictures to go along with it.
“I’ll read the next one now…If I came home from work stressed, how you do you relax me?” your eyes go wide when you realize, “Wait, pretends it’s asking about someone else. So a girl you’re with comes home from work stressed, how do you relax her?”
Jungkook is quiet for a few moments, he chews on his bottom lip and breathes out heavily.
“How would I relax you? I mean, some girl?”
“Y-Yes.”
“First, I would kiss you breathless.”
“You mean her.”
“Right. I would kiss her lips over and over, taking off one article of clothing at a time, sit her down on the couch while I make my way into the kitchen…pour her a glass of her favorite wine and hand it to her. Then I would kiss down her body, telling her sweet words. How much I love her, how much I missed her today, how much she means to me. I will kiss down until I am taking off her pants along with her underwear…” “And then?” you breathe out.
“Kiss her sweet, soft skin…taste her. Taste how fucking good she tastes. Eat her out while she sips on her wine…”
“Oh nice.” You laugh a little.
“Make her come all over my tongue, getting her drunk on her orgasm.”
“And her wine.” You point out.
“Yes, both. After she comes, I will kiss back up her body and hold her.” Jungkook releases short breath after the other. “Make her feel wanted.”
“That does sound relaxing…”
“You like?”
“Yes.”
“Then maybe—”
“Next question is ‘What turns you on almost instantly?”
“Dirty talk.”
“I see.”
“What—”
“You have to answer too, remember?”
“My stomach being touched.” You admit. “How do you feel about toys?”
“Not against them, could be fun to try out.”
“I agree…how do you feel about blindfolds?”
“You answer first.” Jungkook says shyly.
“I’m into it.”
“Being blinded? Or blinding someone?”
“Both? Yes, both.”
“Fuck, me too.” He folds his arms behind him as he leans back further into the sofa.
“Both for you too?”
“Yes. It would be boring if I was only into one thing right?”
You laugh, “Yes, I think we think similarly.”
“Interesting.”
“Very.” You smile at him and he smirks, “Would you like to watch me touch myself?”
“Yes—”
“—Wait, like your partner, not me.” You both say at the same time.
“Oh, well yes.” Jungkook says again. “Watching your fingers travel down to your pussy, rubbing your clit…well, not you but you get my point.” He says, his breathing becoming heavy again.
“Oh. I would also like to watch you.”
“But not me.”
“Exactly.”
“Spit or swallow?”
“I like a girl who swallows.”
“I like to swallow most times and if I don’t swallow it’s because I’m letting the guy come on my face or my tits or—”
“God damn it, y/n.” Jungkook breathes out erratically. His hand goes to his crotch as he tries to hide his growing member.
“Rough or sensual?”
“Fuck. Both, definitely both.”
“I agree. Why not both all the time?” you squeeze your thighs together again as you watch Jungkook shift uncomfortably in his seat on the couch.
“Would you let me pleasure you as you drive? I mean, your partner. Sorry it’s just the way the questions read…”
“Yes. I would.”
“Seems a bit unsafe…but I would give it a try.” You say, “Do you like your hair to be pulled?” you ask with a smirk, already knowing the answer.
“Fucking love it.” He admits between heavy breaths, “But I like to pull hair too.” He winks.
“I do too, but I prefer being the one pulling.” You wink back. “Are you quiet during sex?”
“I—I don’t know…Am I?” Jungkook looks into your eyes, and you blank. Is he actually referring to the time you two had sex? Without him getting weird? “You aren’t the quietest.” You admit, “But it’s so fucking hot.”
“Well, you definitely aren’t quiet.” He says, “Can barely touch you and you’re already whimpering out.”
“Depends who the guy is.”
“Well, when it’s with me…sorry, I shouldn’t bring that up.”
“Right…” your fingers find their way into Jungkook’s hair, “But why not?”
“y/n…” he warns and you chuckle.
“What?” you decide to play innocent. “It was so long ago, Jungkook. We should be able to talk about it by now.”
But Jungkook can’t. Because although it’s almost been 4 years, it’s still so fresh for him. Not just the feeling of being inside you but the emotional shit he was feeling too.
“I’ll tell you one thing and one thing only about that night,” Jungkook decides to say, his hand goes to yours and gently places it back in your lap. “It felt so fucking good.” He whispers out and you feel all the heat in your body rush to your aching pussy.
“Oh.” You breathe out erratically. “I guess, I would have to agree.”
“Should we sleep soon?” Jungkook leans back as he asks you this.
“Don’t you want me to share one thing about that night?”
“…Sure.”
“You…felt so…good…inside me…” you say between deep breaths.
“You felt even better, y/n.”
It’s Saturday morning, and you find yourself waking up on the couch, a big blanket draped around your body and you can’t help but snuggle into it, not wanting to get up quite yet.
On the other side of the couch is a still sleeping Jungkook, his light snores filling your ears. You two didn’t even finish your wine last night, so you are waking up hang over free. The sun is shining today, it’s rays peeking through your window blinds and you want to throw the blanket over your head to hide yourself from the brightness but you decide to actually wake up and get up instead.
You throw the blanket off your body and on to Jungkook, who gratefully takes it and cuddles deeper into the covers. You stand up and head towards the bathroom to wash up, turning on a hot shower.
You wonder what you’ll be up to today, will you stay in? Go out? Hang with the girls? By the way, did they ever come home last night? You stop by Holly’s room to find it empty. Interesting, you guess they went to Trina’s.
The shower is ready for you so you slip in and let the warm water cascade over your tired body. You shampoo, condition and wash your body, when you hear insistent knowing on the bathroom door.
“y/n!!! I gotta pee!!” Jungkook’s worried voice is heard over the running water, “That’s it, I’m coming in okay?!”
And before you can respond, you hear the door being swung open and Jungkook lifting the toilet seat lid up and releasing himself. You fucking laugh. He literally says ‘Aaahhh’ for the same amount of time he is peeing.
“Fucking finally, I thought I was going to piss myself.” He says when he’s finishing up.
“Sorry.” You reply lamely. “Shower felt too good to leave.”
“Well, hurry up so we can go get something to eat. I’m so hungry!”
“Okay, okay.” And with that, Jungkook is leaving the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.
You finish washing up, stepping out of the shower and drying off. You quickly leave the bathroom in just your towel to head to your bedroom. Thankfully, Jungkook is on the couch watching some show on Netflix—too busy to notice your half naked state.
You get dressed in a rush, not wanting Jungkook to wait much longer for you. You settle for some jeans and a cute yellow shirt.
“I like yellow on you.” Jungkook says when he sees you. “Pretty.”
You are sure your cheeks are turning a nice shade of red at his compliment but you cover them with your hands to hide yourself.
“Thanks JK.”
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