Frank Iero shredding and Gerard Way...looking...
Sydney, Australia | 03/19/2023 (x)
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cw: mention of previous abuse, dad Dabi, mom reader, mention of childbirth, angst
new dad touya that doesn’t know how to deal with his son. he’s growing too fast and his smiles are so big, but he’s still not sure how to just be with him.
touya isn’t abusive in the slightest, not like his shit for brains dad. he can acknowledge, after you’ve drilled it into his head on cold nights where you had to hold his quivering cheeks in your hand, that he’s better. that he’s trying. that he’s a great dad.
he doesn’t really believe it. it’s hard to believe that he’s a great dad when his son, still covered in that fresh newborn smell, stares up at him with matching azure blue eyes, the little shit, and he finds it hard to smile back. it’d be easier to smile back if he could guarantee a life with no trauma, with the perfect pair of parents, that he’d love him as much as his tiny little face deserved.
touya can still hear the labor and delivery nurse tell him that he must’ve gotten on your nerves for the baby to look so much like him, and that they’ve never seen a baby that fresh out the womb smile so big at their dad. he hands the little bundle back to you, and glares at the nurse who hands him a tissue. he takes it anyway.
touya loves his son. so goddamn much that it hurts, but, he doesn’t know how to be a dad. and he knows that you don’t know how to be a mom either, that it’s a learning process for the both of you. but he’s so scared—he’s terrified that he’ll fuck up this innocent brat with his ruin. with his scars and history and the want to better but never knowing how to just be.
so he leaves. it’s the day after your sons first birthday that you celebrated together in your home.
you thought everything was okay, that he was starting to get the hang of being a dad. he did everything right, why couldn’t he stay? he sat on the floor with your son and changed his diaper and made him giggle those addicting baby giggles? he carried your son everywhere whenever he cried after being sat down without a single complaint? he helped him open his birthday presents? he didn’t smash the cake in his face, only swiped a little icing on his sons nose to hear that addicting baby giggle? he held your son like he could never let him go?
how could he just go like this? you thought he was finally learning and accepting how to be a dad? what happened?
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The way I have zero motivation but if I could I would write 120k fic about those first days for Ryeon seeing the man she loved, the man she never thought she’d see again outside of haunting dreams and blistering, aching regret. But it’s not the same. She’d been told as much by the Director. He was a different man with his own mind and personality. Designed as her own personal hell. Still she’ll take it. She can’t help but want to be near him anyway and sometimes she’ll catch glimpses. An action or a word that will rip her through time and space, just for a second, a moment. The pain afterwords is almost worth it. Years pass and her aches become routine, his presence almost a comfort. He’d always be steadfast.
Case after case and she doesn’t realize that he sees her too. He doesn’t know her, not like that, but she’s competent. Does as she’s told and he appreciates that. She’s never wavered and it makes him want her closer. He respects her. Why wouldn’t he want someone as competent as she has proven herself to be by his side. He keeps her close and in that he sees more of her intentional or not. She fights hard and sometimes he’ll see a reflection of his style in her movements. Her gaze mirrors his when she’s bringing in the worst of humanity, almost as if she’s fighting the same demons he is. She’s in the standard black, but the color around her eyes makes her stand out. He stares longer than necessary sometimes.
All the way to the present when everything came crashing down. They managed to land on their feet, but it doesn’t erase the centuries of history. Ryeon is happy to resolve it knowing it will never fade completely. Where they are now is eons more than she thought she’d ever get, deserve. Things have changed completely and it will be a while before she figures out her own emotions. That and his smiles. Once so rare and treasured are now constantly on display for her. It chokes her up, makes her fumble in ways she hasn’t, doesn’t remember. Her cheeks match her eye shadow and it’s not becoming in a reaper centuries old. He’s not the same, no. How could he be? He has his memories back, but he’s lived hundreds of others since. Remade a cold man, rage a constant in his veins despite his complete control. Only now he has the past to anchor him, soften him just a bit now that he can let go of the misplaced anger. In its place something blooming. Reconciling the two parts is more confusing than she’d imagined. Especially now when he looks at her the exact way he once did.
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someone kill me, just straight up put me down. my annoying former coworker returned as a volunteer and he annoys me under the best of circumstances but. literally I just said that I don't do dishes that often (meaning not often enough for it to have fucked up my name tag), and he was like "I think it's weird that you would admit to not doing your job" like bitch that's not what I fucking said but okay. And then I was like well I do them sometimes when it's needed and he was like "um..." in that "no you don't way" and said "there were a ton of dishes in the sink when I got here" yeah because I was fucking taking care of birds all day, dipshit! I was feeding our incubator birds every 30 minutes, I did literally all of our outdoor dishes (there was a mountain when I got in today!), I helped catch two very full adult bird outdoor flight cages for weighing and release, I went to release some hatchling turtles, and did all the other miscellaneous cleaning tasks that pile up when feeding hummingbirds. Sorry I didn't have a spare second to do the fucking inside dishes!
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hi, calling all fanfic writers and readers and also people who have Made Videos for a little help with a potential project.
disclaimer: this is, as i said, very potential and still in the Shiny New Idea stage, i’m trying to determine feasibility at the moment.
so, you know speedpaints, right? as in, timelapsed drawing video with music or narration laid over it. consider the same thing, but with writing.
(the tentative term at the moment is speedfic, which has some precedent being used this way, because speedwriting means something else. but i digress)
the idea is that i would post timelapsed videos of me writing short fics and explain my process, probably focusing on specific elements like worldbuilding, character voice, plot, etc. i could also talk about planning, editing, and maybe some other general fanfiction topics.
this leads me to several questions. the main one, of course, is “would anyone else even be interested in this sort of thing?”
but assuming that answer is yes—there are some logistical issues inherent in doing this with words that aren’t caused by doing this with art, namely the “speed” and “narration” bits, and lots of other fiddly little things.
so i guess i’m just asking what writers/readers would want from a project like this, any preferences as far as video structure/length/content, just anything, really. before i go chasing the Shiny New Thing, i want to know if it’s worth it
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I love being forced to think about V's hobbies bc she simply doesn't have any besides going dancing :') her "leisure" time is spent cleaning her weapons, scheduling and compiling details for present and future gigs while scoping out more, training/working out, something basic like eating or sleeping, etc etc
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