#omg 5 actually???? i forgot about Late Night

[pattypanini]

Lay All Your Love On Me Chapter 5- Rules

Josh Kiszka x Reader AND slight Jake Kiszka x Reader

Word Count: Around 4k

AN: Hi everyone! Here is the fifth chapter of Lay All Your Love On Me from me and @mar-rein12! Thank you so much for all the support, we appreciate it all. Here is the taglist incase anyone wants to be added to it: TAGLIST. This is our last 'smaller' chapter but its filled with lots of good stuff. We hope you enjoy chapter 5, Rules.

Also get ready for smut because it doesn't end from here, only gets worse. LOL. And get more use to Jake, because we’re going to be seeing a lot more of him soon 😘

Next chapter coming this Thursday!

Warnings: 18+, SMUTTTTT, Unprotected sex, Tit fondling, Fingering, Oral (F receiving), Angst, Flirting, Cursing, Hickeys, Alcohol, not good coping mechanisms, jealousy, heavy petting. (lmk if i forgot anything!)

Y/n’s POV:

Walking to class the next morning was an experience. You both ended up sleeping through the alarm and had to get ready at his house. So that meant having to go to class in his sweats and t-shirt from last night. Charlotte wasn’t the happiest that you didn’t walk with her to class, in fact you ended up being half an hour late to your lecture, but telling her about the night distracted her from her anger.

“He may or may not have eaten me out..” You raise your eyebrows, as you tilt your cold brew up to your lips, taking a swig. 

“WHAT THE FUCK!” Charlotte covers her mouth to keep her drink in. 

“Char, quiet down please. I don’t think all of Starbucks wants to know about my night,” you scolded her with a chuckle. It had become routine to go to Starbucks after your first class due to the break you both had before your next one. 

“Well… how was it? Was he good?” Charlotte presses. 

“It was really good. A lot better than I expected, I’ll say that. His talkativeness definitely translates into the bedroom.”  

“Omg, I bet you're looking forward to practicing now. I mean you guys are, like, practically married at this point.” She wiggles her eyebrows at you, in a teasing manner. 

To be honest you weren’t looking forward to practice this afternoon knowing that Lindsey would be expecting a cover of your adventures of last night, and that Josh would be listening to it to hear what you rated his performance. So fucking cocky. 

“Umm yeah, sure I guess I’m excited.” You respond, knowing you were completely lying to her.

You finish your drinks and say your goodbyes, making your way to your hour and a half long class that you would spend most of the time online shopping. 

—

First week of April 2023- Spring Semester- Junior Year

The rest of the week, practice goes fairly smooth. It was now the beginning of April and you were enjoying your time at practice, feeling very confident in your role. You still had a little over a month before the real deal but everyone was making good progress. But of course something was nagging at you. Josh was still talking and flirting with that bitch, Sophia. Yeah you were a little jealous, but so was she. She wanted Josh so bad and can’t take seeing Josh being flirty with you. 

When everyone was trying out, Sophia explained that she would be soooo perfect for the role of Sophie. Apparently, she's not as perfect as she thinks because you’re the one that got the lead. Guys only want her because she has a fat ass, but she’s just a fucking airhead. All looks, no brains and definitely no personality. She was very rude to everyone she met except for guys. You didn’t understand how Josh couldn’t see that. Or maybe he did, and he just wanted you to get jealous. Asshole.

By the time it hit Friday you were so done with the week. You were kinda excited to hangout with Josh this weekend since you barely talked during the week, but you couldn't seem too desperate. 

You walk over to Josh who is still talking to Sophia way after practice ended to talk to him about the weekend. “Hey Sophia, are you done talking to Josh?”

“I’m actually not sooo.”

“It was a rhetorical question dumbass soooo, bye.” You give a bitchy smile, sending her on her way. Josh turns to you with a confused look on his face. 

“Uhhh what the fuck y/n?”

“Did you really have any interest in what she was saying, because your body language alone shows literally anything but interest.”

He rolls his eyes, waiting for what you have to say.

“Are we hanging out this weekend?”

“Why so desperate for me y/n? Did Monday night really change you.” He says smirking, eyeing you up and down.

“Sorry for wanting to be around you, besides I can’t be hanging out with anyone else, but you don’t seem to be holding up your end of the bargain so I guess it doesn’t matter. So what are you doing tonight?”

“I’m going to the Alpha Delta Phi house tonight for their party, but you're not coming, those guys would be all over you.”

“Is Sophia coming?”

“Yeah but only because she heard I was going, but you're not coming.”

“Okay fine. I’ll just call Mark to have him over. See you on Monday.” You turn, beginning to walk away before you feel a hand grab your shoulder, turning you Josh’s way.

“No you're not!” He says looking deep into your eyes with anger, and jealousy. “If you're coming you're staying with me, got it?”

You nod your head with innocence and leave without another word. Tonight was going to be fun, and Josh would finally realize why no other girl could ever replace you.

JOSH’s POV:

The shower was relaxing, especially after a week of long practices and stupid classes. You just wanted to unwind and get a little drunk at tonight's party. You weren’t super thrilled when Sophia said she wanted to come to the party, not that you care about her being around everyone. You just didn't want to hear her yap all night, that was your job. 

You wanted to pick out an outfit that you knew y/n would like, but she really hasn’t expressed what she likes on you, so you opted to stick with your basics, a white t-shirt, khaki shorts, and high top white vans. 

You quickly shoved your pen in your pocket and keys and you and Jake started heading towards the main road. You texted y/n that you would meet her outside the frat house at 11:15 before you went in. You wouldn’t let her walk into that damn house alone, even though she probably has a million times.

The walk to the house was quiet. Jake has obviously been flirting with y/n, but she wasn’t reciprocating it so you didn’t worry. When you finally got there you waited outside and sent y/n a text. 

11:13pm Josh: We’re here, where are you?

11:13 pm y/n: I’m on the street, chill.

You waited a moment and scrolled on your phone until you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turn to see her. Holy shit. She was pure beauty. Y/n stands there wearing a plum corset top with black leather pants and black docs. Her long hair was curled loosely and fell over her shoulders perfectly. Her makeup was gorgeous and perfectly accentuated her features. You hadn't realized how long you had been staring for before y/n said something. 

“Josh, hello? Are you good?” She flashed her perfect, white teeth at you.

“Oh yeah, we can head in.” You notice her necklace is off centered and reach forward to fix it, lining the initial in the middle of her collarbone. 

“Thanks Joshy.” She smiles at you and makes her way up the stairs as you turn to look at Jake.

“Pick your jaw off the floor Jake, she's not yours bud.”

“We’ll see about that, brother.” He pats you on the back, a stupid smirk plastered across his face, following y/n’s footsteps.

I’m gonna kill him. 

-

Something about tonight made you think you were going to need a fair amount of alcohol. You make your way to the kitchen where bottles are scattered across the counter tops. The rooms were dark and overstimulating with all the music and people. You make your way across the room on the creaky floors into the kitchen. You grab a cup for you and y/n and attempt to find her in the ocean of people. When you finally find her dancing with some of her friends you tap her and hand her her drink. 

“Thanks Joshyyy.” She smiles, takes a sip, and continues to dance. She already seems a little tipsy.

“Did you drink already?” You ask, taking a sip of your own drink.

“I meannnn, I had a few shots before I came, but I’m tot-ally in control.” She says slurring her words. She grabs you by your shirt pulling you into her, forcing you to dance with her. In her drunken state, you feel a splash of something soak into your white shirt. “Josh, oh my god, I’m sorryyy.”

“Fuck. Uh, it’s fine,” You were pissed, slightly embarrassed as well. Annoyed, you stomp away from her to find some napkins.

As you enter the kitchen, you locate the napkins and look over to y/n’s direction. You see she’s already found another guy. She leans her head on the mystery man’s shoulder, loudly speaking into his ear. 

“My number is 517, wait, that's not close. Um, haha. Uh, 273- 5. Wait fuck- its actually 274,” she screams into his ear, laughing hysterically. “The last four digits are-”

You’ve had enough, you race towards her leaning into her ear. “What did you not understand about our deal?” You say through gritted teeth, speaking just loud enough so only she could hear. 

“I’m only being nice. Cool it.” She snaps back at you, defensively. 

“Fine. I guess I can be ‘nice’ too, hm?” You walk away from her, beginning to regret letting her come along. You grab your pen from your pocket and take a quick hit, followed by another sip of the mixed drink. You make your way to the dance floor, looking for her. When your eyes spot her, you quickly make your way over.

You reach your hand out to her, inviting her to dance with you. “ Care to dance?” You offer her a syrupy, sweet smile. Your eyes plead with her to say ‘yes’.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Sophia takes your hand and you guide her so her back is pressed against your front. The song Kill The Lights begins to blare through the speakers, undoubtedly rupturing anyone’s eardrums who were in close vicinity. The strobe lights flicker around the, otherwise, dark room. Your hands land on her hips, grinding her ass into your semi-hard dick. She looked lovely tonight dressed in an emerald green bodysuit paired with black skinny jeans. Her tits practically falling out of her top and her jeans perfectly highlighting her curvy hips. 

“You look pretty tonight, Soph,” You lean down and whisper into her ear.

“You don’t look too bad yourself, Kiszka,” she retorts, biting her lip and grinding harder into you.

“Oh fuck,” the friction of her grinding was beginning to get to you. You break away from her, turning her around to face you. “Want me to fill up your drink?”

“Please,” she hands you her cup and you scurry off to the kitchen, yet again. It appeared to be your favorite place tonight. You find yourself looking y/n’s way, to see her staring back at you. 

Y/n’s POV

Are you fucking joking. After everything you guys talked about, he still takes it as a fucking joke. Well, maybe you weren't one to talk, but two can play at that game. You make your way through the crowd, in search of a Kiszka twin, and certainly not the slutty, fuckboy twin. You see him standing leaning against the wall, beer in hand. His black button up only buttoned to his navel, enticing you even more. “Can you dance?” You ask him, batting your lashes at Jake. 

“Fuck, yeah!” You grab his hand forcefully pulling him to the dance floor, and right pass Josh so he can see you and his twin walking by, hand and hand. Blame It by Jamie Foxx and T- Pain begins to play and that was enough to get you in a certain mood. You left no time to start grinding up on Jake, pressing your ass into his dick. 

His hands began feeling up and down your body, going from your ass, around your hips, up to your waist. As you look deep into Josh’s eyes you grab Jake's hands and begin to reach down pulling them higher so they are just below your tits. Your hips sway against him, feeling his dick harden into your ass. 

“y/n…” Jake mumbles into your ear, seductively. “Damn..” You move his hands to sit right on top of your tits and he gives them a light squeeze. “... you’re so fucking beautiful.” 

You would hate this type of PDA normally, but tonight you were just in the mood for revenge.

“I know you’ve been wanting to touch me, Jake,” You turn around to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“Yeah? Who says?” His brow quirks up, challenging you. He pulls you closer, your bodies now flush together. 

“Says me, and all the flirting you’ve been doing lately.” You tilt your face up to his, looking directly into his chocolatey brown eyes. A few moments of silence pass as you both continue to dance.

You feel a hand wrap around your bicep and pull you away from Jake. 

“What the actual, fuck, do you think you’re doing?” It was Josh. His eyes darted between you and his brother. 

“Just having some fun Josh since you wanted to leave me stranded on the dance floor! You expected me to dance all alone? I don’t fucking think so,” You snap at him, ripping your arm out of his hand, turning back to Jake.

“Where were we?” You shoot him a small smile, simply to get under Josh’s skin.

“No, it's time to leave, let's go.” He says pulling you away from his brother, dragging you out of the party.

You rip your hand out of his, yet again, and cross your arms as you walk with a purpose to get back to your dorm, whether he would follow or not.

“You’re no fucking fun Josh! You expect me to just stand there while Sophia is grinding on you. I may have been a little drunk but I’m sober enough to realize that you aren’t following the rules. So, OF COURSE, I wasn’t going to either. I didn’t think you could be so dense Josh!” You practically scream at him, as he follows close behind you. 

After a long quiet walk you finally make it to your dorm, with him still hot on your heels. Charlotte, without a doubt, would be staying at someone else's dorm tonight so you would be alone. You swing the door open trying to shut it infront of him, but he stopped it before it could fully close. As you make it into your bedroom, you slowly peel your pants off feeling over-stimulated, leaving you in only your corset and undies. After struggling to get your pants off you flop onto your bed, facing up to the ceiling. 

You close your eyes for a brief moment, and feel a presence above you. 

“You’re being a fucking brat you know that, and its making me crazy, y/n.” He begins to put his hands on both sides of your head, hovering above you. His lips dangerously close to your ear. “You don’t know what you do to me, mama, do you?” You shake your head, obviously knowing you make him horny. “Well I’m gonna fucking show you, and there won’t be any more confusion.”

JOSH’s POV

God, you don't know how long you’d be able to keep it together before you unleashed everything you had on her, but you had to work up to it. You wanted so badly to put her over your legs and spank her hard to teach her a lesson, but since she drank you didn’t think that would be the best move. Hooking your fingers under her panties you pull them aside, giving you full access to her beautiful wet pussy that you know you didn’t contribute to. But you knew you’d contribute to her not being able to walk tomorrow. 

“Who made you this wet, mama?” You already know the answer but you just want to hear her say it out loud. 

“Y-You Joshy.” She says with innocent eyes. Anticipation written all over her pretty face. 

“No, I said who fucking made you this wet, huh? Was it the guy in the corner or my fucking brother. Don’t you dare lie to me,” You say, grabbing her face slightly, making her look into your eyes. 

“It was Jakey, I’m sorry baby.” Jakey? Not the fucking pet names.

“Don’t be giving him fucking pet names, those are for me and me only, got it?” She nods again, and you let go of her face.

“There seems to be a lot you need to learn mama, and we're gonna make sure you know all of that before the end of the night.”

You kneel again before her, wasting no time to get to her wet heat. You bring your fingers up to the entrance of her mouth, “Open.” She opens her mouth up, sticking her tongue out slightly. What a dirty whore. You shove your fingers deep down her throat, making her gag slightly. As you bring them out she sucks on them, making your already hard dick throb under the fabric of your shorts.

You shove them deep into her pussy, curling them up to hit all the good spots. As if you had hit a button, she begins to arch her back and moan. 

“Let it all out, let me hear you baby. Your moans make me so fucking hard. They turn me on so much, mama.” You quicken the pace of your fingers.

“Josh, oh my god. You’re perfect holy fuck. Your fingers fill me up so good.” You’d be filling her up even more soon.

You notice her tits bouncing in her corset, that needs to come off, immediately. You remove your fingers and flip her onto her stomach. You start unlatching all the clips and turn her back over to back to peel it off the front of her. Her marks had faded from the other week.

You lean forward, making quick work of your mouth to create new purple bruises that would match her corset perfectly. Kissing each one of them before connecting your mouth with hers. 

“Are you ready for my cock mama?” You ask quietly.

She frantically nods her head, you could tell she needed it, but we weren't going to give it to her that easy.

“Beg for it baby, tell me how much you need my hard cock in that pretty pussy of yours.” 

“Fuck Josh I need it so bad. Wanna feel you inside” You begin to unlatch your pants pulling them down to the floor. “You're gonna stretch me out so good with your huge cock.” Bending down to her pussy, spitting straight onto it. “I wanna cum around your cock, please Josh.” You grin feeling like she gave you enough. You slap her pussy before thrusting into her hard, not giving her much time to adjust.

You lean forward, one hand on the bed, one on her tit. You lay a sloppy kiss to her lips and fuck into her hard. You could tell you were hitting the right spots. She was moaning and bracing herself by grabbing your biceps, which very quickly escalated to her nails scratching down your back. Fuck. It fucking hurt, but hurt so good. 

As you continued to pound hard into her you felt a new angle was needed. You pick yourself off her and begin to grab her ankles, and pull them up to your shoulders. Letting them rest there as you fuck her even deeper now. 

She was melting beneath you, becoming a sloppy mess. Her moans picked up, you could tell she, and yourself, were close to a breaking point. You kiss her ankles softly, which contrasted to the hard pounding you were inflicting onto your pussy.

“Where do you want me to cum baby?” You say through heavy breathing.

“Cum in me Josh, I wanna feel you fill me up.” Holy shit. You weren’t going to question it. As you get closer to your release you begin to feel squeezing around your cock.

“God, y/n, if you keep squeezing me like that I’ll come right, fucking, now.”

“FUCK JOSH, I’m gonna cum. Please don’t stop, harder!” She begins to buck up against you, meeting your thrusts.

“That's it baby, cum for me. You're such a good girl for me” 

With that she let out one final moan, filling the room with pleasure. You weren't too far behind her. You continued pounding her hard and within a few seconds came right into her pussy, just like she told you to. 

You fell into the spot right beside her in bed.

“You think you learned your lesson?” You tease, looking over at her. 

“Definitely Josh, it’ll be hard not to think about you.”

“Yeah? Why is that y/n”

“Because I’m going to be thinking about you every single time I try to walk.”

You can’t help but laugh at her comment. You wanted to make her feel good, make her want you even more. 

You couldn’t be bothered to get dressed, instead you pull the blanket up from the bottom of the bed, press a kiss into her head, and fall asleep next to the girl of your dreams.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TAGLIST

@demonrat444 @gvfstuddedmajesty @jordie-gvf @jazzyfigz @slut4lando @gvfmarge @peaceloveunitygvf @jjwasneverhere @areuirish @mar-rein12 @woyayaofdreams @freyjalw @musicspeaks

[valaruakars]

Let's Get Physical (Part 7)

Viktor/F!Reader || 6.3k || Modern!AU + Gym!AU || SFW

Bitches hate you for your overzealous approach to supporting your friends and deeply anxious behavior. Viktor is not bitches.

A/N: Omg. We're here. We're back on our bullshit. Thank you to everyone who beta'd and/or provided me free therapy about this for that past um... seven months. Oops. Thank you to everyone who reached out over the (unintentional) hiatus with encouraging comments and asks. I hope you'll understand why I took so long to handle this with care and unpack some of my own issues. Very cathartic. Would recommend.

Part 1 → Part 2  → Part 3 → Part 4  → Part 5 → Part 5.2 (nsfw) → Part 6  → Part 7 (Ao3 Link)

Before you know it, two weeks and a day have passed. They make no palpable difference. 

Except maybe in your quadriceps. 

The same weights you’ve been using feel almost effortless, too easy. You don’t fatigue as quickly into heavy breathing and the urge to cheat yourself a rep or two—not lunging with the dumbbell gripped at one of its wide ends, not squatting while it’s clutched close to your chest. It’s suddenly not enough. 

Nobody’s around to see it, but progress is progress. Turns out, you’ve finally graduated to heavier weights on this lonely leg day you’ve committed to. 

That’s a bit of a misnomer, though. The day is mostly past you now. It’s evening—crisp and wispy, sky like striated fire outside the garage—and as the sun sets, you’re reminded of the late start you’re up against. All because you forgot something. 

A good attitude is optional. A scrunchie you can live without. But your shoes? Leave them forgettably kicked off in two different directions on your bedroom floor and you’re fucked. It’s a small miracle you’re here, dragging around weight plates, setting up a barbell. There was a very real danger of tripping and falling into bed—totally by accident, never to get up again—when you drove home and stomped upstairs to grab them. 

But whether or not he knows it, likely the latter, Viktor keeps you accountable when no one else can. It’s because the only running you truly love is the risk of seeing him, which still requires proper footwear. And for you to leave the house. 

Though by the time you whipped into the driveway and thrust the gear shift into park, it’s empty. He’d left already; you didn’t get to see him off on his reluctant shuffle through the garage. But lucky you—he tends to come straight home after physical therapy. Call it friendly concern that you’re paying attention. 

It’s probably an odd way to think about a friend. You need to work on that. 

Your phone vibrates dully on the padded bench beside you. Nearly knocking your water over in the process, you grab it to find a text from Jayce—the usual culprit. You slide it open, accidentally brushing the top of the screen with shaky fingers. It catapults you to the beginning of your most recent messages before you can read the new one. 

Mon, Oct 10

[Jayce Talis, 5:56am]: Did you leave the back door unlocked last night? [Jayce Talis, 5:57am]: And the pool lights on? [Jayce Talis, 5:57am]: Was Viktor in the pool?

[7:32am]: Holy shit. Good morning. [7:33am]: No, no, and why do you think I know these things??

[Jayce Talis, 7:45am]: Sorry, it’s all good. He’s alive. 

[7:46am]: ???????

[Jayce Talis, 7:49am]: You guys didn’t hang out after I left? 

[7:57am]: Idk if you would consider it that. [8:02am]: But has anyone invited him to cards on Saturday??

[Jayce Talis, 8:17am]: He already said no. [Jayce Talis, 8:18am]: Although… [Jayce Talis, 8:19am]: You could try telling him it’s strip poker. Haha :) 

[8:20am]: Blocked. Reported. Banned. NOT DOING THAT.

[Jayce Talis, 8:21am]: No wait! I was kidding. He’s not a creep :(

Tue, Oct 11

[Jayce Talis, 3:38pm]: Wait did you actually block me? 

[3:50pm]: Yes.

Sun, Oct 16

[Tayce Jalis, 8:00am]: Can I have my t-shirt back today?

[8:31am]: Oh the really old anime one? I left it with some stuff to be washed, ask Viktor. [8:32am]: Maybe the dryer did you a favor and ate it. 

[Tayce Jalis, 8:34am]: Hey! Naruto is timeless.

Today

Tayce Jalis unsent a message

Not fast enough to scroll back down, caught revisiting those unremarkable little messages, and now you’ll never know what Jayce’s butt managed to text you this time. Oh well. Keep your secrets. 

You toss your phone down behind you with a leathery slap. Back to working on the whole stop pining after Viktor thing.

Right, and your legs. 

The barbell bites into your hips as you roll it into your lap and adjust it, the bench presses into your shoulder blades. It’s heavier and harder to manage, but you do, driving down into your heels to get your ass off the ground, hefting yourself into a nice, solid bridge. From there it’s as easy as dipping your hips, which isn’t quite easy at all. No, it’s brutal. 

It burns from your core down to your thighs; has you clenching your jaw, gritting your teeth with the strain. Even your biceps are active, lifting some of the steel-hard pressure off your hip bones. 

You’re so zoned in—no thoughts, head empty except for the number six over and over until it’s seven—that you only hear the hiss of your breath in and out, the hammering rush of blood behind your ears. You don’t hear Viktor come home. 

Not until he’s standing above you.  

He had the heinous metal on metal sound in his old beige car fixed—that grinding, grating death knell in its engine. One of several potentially life threatening reasons the check engine light was always on—maybe still is. And though you much prefer him living, it’s harder to hear him coming over the steady music without paying attention. 

Bad timing for Miss Carly Rae Jepsen on your Upbeat Workout Jams playlist, considering you do really, really, really like him. Him and how he stands at the end of the bench, staring down; how he fixes you with that sliver thin smile, a manila folder tucked under the arm of his long cardigan. 

You seize with embarrassment, frozen on the upswing of your hips. “Hi,” whispers out on the end of an exhale, caught ragged in your throat. 

You can’t do pelvic thrusts in front of him. 

You just can’t. 

It’s bad enough that you’re sweaty in every skin to skin crevice and certainly flushed, t-shirt sticky and legs trembling as they hold your awkward position, but then there’s him. 

He wears that same look much better. On him, it’s healthy color across the cut lines of his cheeks; it’s still-damp curls at the nape of his neck and the jump of his lean throat when he swallows, dry when he must’ve forgotten a water bottle again. It’s suggestive. It’s hot. 

And it’s the endorphins that make you feel that way, surely, more than any affinity for men in gray sweatpants that are far more revealing than they must realize. 

You clear your throat, finding your own parched voice. “Watch your feet,” you warn, on the side of caution, dropping butt and barbell to the ground with a metallic thud. You let your head drop back against the bench pad, staring up at him with the dazed satisfaction of calling it quits. Only for the moment, of course, as you blindly feel around for your phone to turn the music down. 

And good fucking god is what you see unholy. Viktor shifts his weight before you can look away, and the ache in your core redoubles—different, deeper than any lactic acid buildup. Did his pants shrink in the wash or is it really that m—?

Nope! Absolutely not! 

You can tread no further with that thought because, really, there’s no such thing as having a platonic appreciation for your friend’s dick. Not when the friend is Viktor. 

“You’re not finished yet?” he asks. Innocent. Oblivious to your mental struggle out of the gutter. 

Typically you would be by now. Equipment racked, the citrus scent of disinfectant on your hands, picking at innocuous conversation while you walk inside together. How was your day? Did you hear they’re demolishing the old physics building? There’s a guest lecture next month that might interest you. 

“About another thirty minutes,” you breathe, “and then I’ll be done. I’m running behind.”

“Ah, interesting. That looks to me more like sitting,” he says, which is terrible enough to earn an eye roll, and snarky enough that your lips wobble and break into an insurmountable smile.

“It’s called resting, thanks. This would go faster if you stopped distracting me,” you huff, muscles loose, lips looser. 

The little spark of mirth in his eyes, so bright and awake, makes your stomach clench vice tight. “Mm. There’s no rush,” he shrugs, “but… Rio might enjoy a visit.” 

Your smile is skeptical as he pulls the file folder from beneath his arm. “Oh really?” It widens as he starts to fan you from above—chilly in the garage, but you’re still sweating buckets. It’s futile, although he’s sweet to try and help.  

He nods, gravely serious, “She told me herself.” 

You crane your neck unconsciously to let it cool the sweat that lingers there, sighing as little wisps of loose hair billow feather light and tickle your feverish skin. 

He isn’t holding it right, though. His grip is too loose on the edge.

At once, a flurry of white comes raining down on you. It’s instinct that your eyes clamp shut against the onslaught. 

“No, no, no,” he hisses as if begging could stop gravity. 

It doesn’t, of course. 

His papers flutter and scrape across the floor. An unlucky one sticks to the sweat on your scrunched up cheek. He’s quick to dip forward and snatch it back first, the easiest to reach.

You blink off the surprise and snicker, “Oh, how the tables have turned. Who’s the clumsy one now?” Rolling the barbell away over your outstretched legs, there’s nothing in its path to be crumpled beneath the weight.  

But Viktor doesn’t answer with a crooked smile or a quiet laugh, no dry wit to be found. His dark, heavy brows furrow and he insists, “No, just—just let me,” while he crouches to the ground, distributing his weight between his cane and the end of the bench. 

“It’s okay,” you insist, reaching to gather what’s scattered between you, “I’ve got it. No big deal.”

“To you,” he mutters, snatching two away before you can turn them over. Makes him lose balance. He narrowly catches himself before he can veer face first into your spandex lap,, blunt, bony fingers digging into your thigh at the hem of those skin tight biker shorts. It crushes the papers all the same. 

“Top secret nuclear codes?” you tease, drowning his muttered apologies. It sounds stupid and obvious that you’re trying to distract from the fumbling tension when his hand stays put for moments too long. Yours, too, on his shoulder to brace him. 

Just until he’s able to sit himself solidly on the ground beside you. 

He purses his lips, “My work is with reactor cores, not weapons.”

It’s only been a week since you got an impromptu lecture about nuclear fusion in the kitchen. It’s not like you’d forget so quickly. “I know—”

Impatient, Viktor reaches over your lap, too close for comfort. Whatever you were about to say is struck from your train of thought. 

His cardigan drags soft and pilled with wear across your beat up knees. Beneath it, his sweat smells sharp and strangely appealing. It’s fascinating, that draw to something so base and human. It’s unsettling, the way your heart responds like it beats between your legs.

You follow his hand, unabashedly curious, and watch him pick up another overturned paper. Below it, the next sheet is stuck face up to the floor with what you cringe to assume is a drop of your sweat, bleeding the ink of a diagram. Multiple diagrams, actually. 

Of stretches.  

The familiarity sparks excitement. 

By the time he peels up the corner of the page with his fingernail, you’re sure of what you’re looking at. It’s common ground, of a sort; the excuse to end all excuses. 

“These are from the physical therapist?” 

He sighs, sitting back in an awkward fold of spindly legs. Looks wearier, now, with his shoulders collapsed like the exhaustion of going has finally caught up. “Yes,” he admits, because you’re smart and he’s smart, and any other answer would be an obvious lie. 

You’re doing it again—digging your fingers into a soft spot that feels as ripe as it does intrusive. We do not talk about it much, he once said, but it’s hard to stop once you’ve started. You just have to know: “Do you do them?” 

His eyes cut down to the papers in his hands. “When time permits.”

“How often does it permit?” 

“Occasionally,” says Viktor, which might mean somewhere between rarely and never. 

Early mornings, late nights; classes to teach, lab hours to log, projects, papers, and a dissertation that looks done to you, but he laughs bitterly when you suggest it. Still has to find time to eat and shower and sleep, but his eyes are always restless purple and there are wrappers from meal replacement bars scattered around the house, too high calorie for Jayce to be the culprit. 

You wonder what will happen when it all catches up with him. Worse, you worry. 

Beseechingly, you reach out. Your grip is gentle as you take hold of the printouts at their edge. “Can I see?” you ask, not grabbing or pulling or taking, just there and ready. 

His lips form a tight, considering line. “If that is the last of your questions,” he slowly replies. Prickly, but relenting, he lets go before you can ever agree. 

So you don’t.  

His eyes are on you as you flip through the stack—you can feel it as a strange, shy tension like bated breath, watching and waiting. 

Page by page, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before. Some you’ve even done yourself, but with simple modifications. Hell, bridges are just hip thrusts performed flat on the floor, without the weight. Nothing he’d need help with, which is ideal when you’re not qualified to do anything but make space for him; to emphasize that he’s welcome and wanted, maybe offer up a sweaty-palmed high five if you’re feeling spunky. 

You peel your legs off the floor and resituate, tucking them as your turn to face him, direct in every sense. “You could come do these with us on Sunday mornings after we run, before you get started on work. It would make Jayce happy, and Vi has a really funny way of being encouraging—”

He pulls a face—a nose scrunched up, barely concealed, abso-fucking-loutely not sort of scowl. 

“Or…” you’re quick to try, “Just with me, when I’m here. It’ll take, what—fifteen? Twenty minutes?” 

“It’s a poor use of time,” he says. It’s as avoidant as it is clumsy, with a dismissive edge still dull enough to bruise. 

And that’s because: “You stop and talk to me for longer than that sometimes,” you remind him flatly.  

He sighs sharply, toying absently with the cane laid across his lap. “That is different.” He says it like it’s obvious; like it’s frustrating that you don’t know how obvious it is. 

“Well, what if we could do both at the same time?” you propose. After all, he’s got such a hard-on for efficiency, if that’s what’s stopping him. “I know you’re a good multitasker…”  

His jaw works, trapping his thoughts behind imperfect teeth. 

“And we probably keep this floor cleaner than the carpet…” you prod, because the silence of a man who can and has talked your ear off is disquieting; because you don’t always know when to stop; because this feels like a negotiation. 

“My bedroom suits my purposes just fine,” he says, eventually. 

But you never said which carpet. The thought of him sequestered in there, even for this, is fucking depressing. Arguably disgusting when you’ve walked across that rug and felt the grit of dirt, crumbs, and debris that the pattern hides through your socks. And worse: It’s a choice, so why is he making it? 

Abruptly, the rubber tipped end of his cane meets like against the rubber tiled floor. He pulls himself up on it with difficulty you can’t ignore, but shakes his head when you move to help. The only thing you do is hand him up the battered stack of papers, tucked back into the folder from which they came, when he stands up fully. You won’t hold them hostage, even if part of you wants to. It wouldn’t keep him from leaving, his back to you such a familiar sight. 

You just want to understand, though, if nothing else. To crack him like a cipher.  

Softer, you try: “I wouldn’t judge you.” It’s the last, desperate little thing you can think of. They’re like magic words to you. 

But the problem is: They don’t work on everyone. 

To his credit, his tone isn’t harsh. It’s indifferent, like stating a sterile fact. “This has nothing to do with you,” he says. “I haven’t skipped an appointment recently, and that should be enough.”

Indigence might suit you in those moments you grow a seedling backbone, but it doesn’t suit this. You can’t help it though. His frustration has bled into you, caught like kindling. “Is it?” 

“You and I do not share the same sense of priorities,” he replies, but it’s not an answer. Not really. 

The urge to turn him upside down and shake him until something definitive comes out is overwhelming—so straightforward until he just… isn’t. “If you’re not going to say yes or no, can’t you just lie and say you’ll think about it?” 

He looks you over inscrutably, sitting there in his shadow. “Why would you assume it’s a lie?”

“Oh, I don’t know…” you huff. But you do. Experience and a certain friend who actually bothers to text you back have given you the answer. “Jayce says you’re stubborn and I’m starting to think he’s right.” 

Viktor nods conclusively, but doesn’t care to share what’s going through his head. As evasive as ever when he cares to be, just murmurs,“You should finish this.”

And then, for a reason that is simply beyond you, says: “I will see you later.”

But for once, you’re not sure if you want to. 

—

You rap your knuckles against his open door. 

Seriously—who were you kidding, thinking for even a second that you wouldn’t be here, doing this?

Yes, it’s well after eight now and you’re pitifully hungry, but it wouldn’t feel right to leave without saying anything. In writing a note or sending a text, you’d simply be spelling out, ‘I’m a coward!’ in far more words. It’s best, you decide, to be polite and mature and just say goodnight despite the awkward taste in your mouth that is very reminiscent of your own foot. 

And you get to say it to his back, which should be easy. 

But then there’s Rio on his desk like a pissed off paperweight, swimming the foggy side of her holding tank—sorry, prison—without any hope of escape. They’re the angriest, most pathetic wiggles you’ve ever seen. Habitual, given how tongue-smudged and abraded the plastic has become. 

“You see?” he says, gesturing to the sound of her scrabbling in his bright rubber kitchen gloves. “It’s just as I said.” 

“I think it’s more about you ignoring her.” Rio pauses, slipping down the side. Her little face conveys it perfectly: “Father is cruel? Father is… unyielding? Father hates Rio?” 

“No, no… Although, eh, yes, I suppose she does sound like that…” he muses, nodding. “I think she must wonder those things about you, actually.”

Your shoulder hits the door frame, shrugging against it where you lean. “I probably don’t matter much to her.”

There’s a heavy pause, enough for him to breathe in and hold it. Breathe out, softly: “You do.”

And suddenly, you can’t find it in you to leave. Did you ever truly have the will? 

The truth is there on your feet—those perpetually mismatched socks. You’d hoped for this, secretly, else you wouldn’t have left your shoes off at the door.  

It’s warm when you walk in. A space heater that’s been running too long glows electric orange on the floor near his desk. Makes the smell of churned earth and vinegar cleaner that much stronger. And while the clutter is clearly endemic, it seems the fuzzy, stagnant mugs are not. They’re all gone from his desk and the bedside table, replaced by sticky notes, pill bottles, and an avalanche of papers.

You come up and give Rio’s tiny, clawed foot a high-five through the plastic. “Has she been doing this all night?” you ask, looking over. 

Knee on the desk chair for leverage, he’s elbows deep in her tank, rooting those waxen, fake plants back into the substrate with unnatural posture. It’s that stiffness you’ve always noticed—ramrod straight from the mid-spine up. It’s easier to see in profile, in a thin shirt that clings to his back, that there’s nothing visibly forcing it. 

“On and off. She tires quickly now,” he says, arranging a broad-leafed plant near her favorite rocky shelter—scrubbed clean, still damp. “When she was younger, it would go on much longer while I did this.”

“How old is she exactly?” 

His sigh is almost lost beneath the hum of the space heater. He answers, “Fifteen,” in the soft, subdued way of someone who hates to be reminded. 

There’s many things you’re too afraid to ask him. Such hits as: Why did you dig yourself a hole this deep, does Jayce text everyone about you, and would I even stand a chance if things were different? But right now, most of all, it’s how long do geckos live? 

You don’t think you’re going to like the answer. 

Viktor clears his throat. “She’s very, eh… spritely for her age,” he adds, fondly this time. 

You hum a soft sound in agreement, too shaky through the legs to squat down to eye level with her. When you bend your knees to try, you realize you’ll probably never get up again. 

He glances over as you straighten up. “You can sit,” he offers without really saying where. It’s obvious, though. The only option—his rumpled bed, never made, with all its mismatched pillows. One has definitely been stolen from the couch, three are yellowed and missing pillowcases which is… ew. 

But you’re not going to refuse. You’d like to hold Rio, after all. 

You swallow hesitation and tuck yourself onto the end of his mattress, balancing on the firm edge. At least the intrusive thoughts are fleeting. Only briefly do you wonder what he thinks about at night. What he does. What he wants for.

Not you. That’s for sure.

Your elbows lock out where you grip the ridged edge of the bed. The weight of things gone unsaid, of things left unresolved bears down; it prickles warm at the back of your neck and you can’t stand the waiting silence. 

“So…” you drawl, letting your voice fill the void.

“Hm?”

“Are you going to hand her to me now, or…?”

“Ah, no, I’m finished,” he says over his shoulder. “She needs to go back in the tank.”

“Then why am I sitting here?” 

“Because I have something to ask you.”

Straightforward. Right. You forgot just how terrifying that can be. 

“That sounds just as bad as saying we need to talk,” you mutter, heart twisting into a suffocating, arterial knot. 

“We do, though,” he says, too literal, too preoccupied with placing Rio back in her clean terrarium to notice your soul leave your body—preemptively abandoning ship. 

But he’s merciful, at least. He doesn’t keep you in suspense. 

“I just want to understand at what point you developed such a vested interest in, eh… fixing me, I suppose,” he asks, like wondering what the weather will be tomorrow or what the dining hall might serve for lunch. Conversationally. “Did Jayce put you up to this?”

Your eyes narrow in thought. “No…?” you reply. It comes out too shifty as you toy with the serged edge of his blanket. Jayce put you up to something alright, though that hardly matters anymore. But, in a way, does this count? Would Viktor think that this counts?

“A sure answer, please.”

Fuck. 

“It’s just that I would lump that in as part of being friends with you—except I’d call it, y’know, caring?” You draw your leg up onto the bed, closer, tucking your foot beneath your thigh. “That’s all I’m trying to do.”

Viktor flips the grate down with a finality that lights your nerves like a beacon to flee. “So he asked you to do what, exactly?” 

“Nothing,” you squirm. 

He pivots, solidly on two feet. Doesn’t sit down in the desk chair quite yet. “It wouldn’t be the first time for this behavior, and, with you, I’m sure it was not the last. Do you know that he once provided Caitlyn with a written list of topics not to bring up to me?” 

You shrug, “He’s a good friend...” 

Now you’re staring down the barrel of being just the opposite—of throwing Jayce under the bus. 

“What did he ask?” Viktor presses.

And you break. Made brittle by your desire to put him first, of course you do.  

“All he wanted was for me to give you a chance, which was pretty reasonable after you called me annoying—” that word comes out with a bite to it you didn’t intend; sensitive, sore, “—but I never told him about that. He’s just… worried about you in his own way, I guess.” 

Viktor quietly raises an eyebrow, and that’s all it takes to snap you into fours next. It practically falls out of your mouth: “He keeps texting me to make sure you’re still alive. Sometimes I think he’s joking, but then one time he told me he had a nightmare that you drowned in the pool, so part of me actually thinks he’s being serious.” 

“He is.” 

“Wait, really—?”

“Is that why you come so often now?”

Wednesday. Friday. Sunday. Monday too, sometimes, if the day before hasn’t left you sufficiently sore enough. The pain means progress. It must.

“Well, no,” you blink, “that’s mainly because I have a lot to work on.”

“Do you?”

You gesture to yourself. All of you. The way your stomach folds and rolls and fucking exists unappealingly beneath your sweatshirt when you slouch—it could be better. The way your thighs pancake out, smushed against the bed—not getting better, but discipline and toning might shape them into something near desirable. “Yeah, obviously.”

He treads lightly. “I… would not say it’s obvious.” But his eyes are cast down as he carefully removes his rubber gloves and discards them in a bucket of cleaning supplies. He’s not rude enough to agree, but you worry, in all those moments you can feel him looking at you, that he’s thinking it. After all, he’s willowy, sharp and elegant in a way you’ll never be. Soft and fleshy. Never quite right. 

“And that’s because you’re, what, zero percent body fat?” you sigh, gesturing to him incredulously. “I’m not implying that’s healthy or ideal—honestly, I’d share some if I could—but…” Your hands curl to your chest, clasped tightly in one another when there is no one else to hold them through the indignity of admitting, “I’m the one that needs fixing. Not you.” 

He was right, though, when he said it earlier. This isn’t about you. “Where did you come up with that, anyways?” you ask. 

The lines on his face, those deep, concerned creases between his brows, spell out what the fuck. You don’t understand what’s so hard about that question—what he can’t figure out, why the confusion lingers in his eyes. “This… This is the second time you’ve offered to help me.”

“I was trying to be supportive. Encouraging, even—that’s also a good word for it.” 

“It all feels the same,” he tells you, taking his turn to sigh. “Which is to say patronizing, sometimes.”

And that was not what you intended. “I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be a saint or anything. That’s not entirely it.” You fight the turtle-like urge to retract into your sweatshirt, which would arguably be more stupidly embarrassing than admitting: “I was just looking for… common ground, I guess. Ways to hang out without dragging you out with us.” 

“Are we not doing that right now?”

“Sure, but I feel bad about it.” There’s the silvery peek of his computer, buried on the desk. “I’m keeping you from more important things.” 

“You’re not,” he says—no, placates, but the disbelieving press of your lips makes him reconsider. “Well, eh, perhaps, but I can manage. I’ve dealt with Heimerdinger’s high expectations and, mm, sadistic deadlines for years. The weekends work well to make up for lost time, and there is all night after this too.”

“You should sleep.”

“I can’t. Not well.”

You give a creaky little bounce—not much of one, no spring to it—to demonstrate: “Maybe because your mattress feels about as hard as sleeping on the ground.” 

“One problem of many, yes.”

You count yourself among them, in one way or another. You’ve been leaking these awful insecurities all night. 

Is it any wonder that another slips? 

“It’s just—the last thing I want is to bother you. Everyone, really, but especially you.” 

“Is that because of me?” he asks quietly. “Because of what I said?”

Oh, you’ve carried this around since day one. Let it color his tone and his words and his actions. Let it haunt you trying to reach for others, the freshest nick in a line of scars that was never stitched properly. That’s what you get for letting all those little anxieties run wild with knives in their hands. That’s what you get for forgiving him before he ever asked for it, as if that would make things easier. For you. For him. For everyone. 

It hasn’t.

Viktor crosses the three steps between you on bare, nobby feet. His weight dips the bed beside you ever slightly, like he’s hardly there. But he is, by the way his leg bumps your knee, and you scoot over to give him space.  

He doesn’t seem to know what to do with his hands, grasping at some distant thread. They’re as awkward as he is in saying, “I can’t recall what I meant at the time, but it… it wasn’t that. It would’ve been fine if you thought less of me for it, but not of yourself.” 

You shake your head. “It’s—don’t worry, it’s not all you,” you say, softening his guilt, perhaps at your own expense. “I have a lot of anxiety, and that’s a long running thing, okay? It’s mostly… me.” 

“That’s… good to know. About you, I mean. Not that it’s—it’s good. Just, eh, helpful to know.” 

“I guess that’s generally the benefit of being upfront about things,” you shrug as if it comes easy. 

“I would prefer that, I think.”

It doesn’t, but the light, fizzy feeling of relief makes you want to try, if only to have more of it. Maybe more of his shy little smiles too. This time with more intention, and less leaky word vomit. 

“Okay…” You shift to face him fully, mirroring his posture in leaning back on your hand for support. “Then in no uncertain terms, I want you to know that I’m not trying to fix you.” Been there, done that, got the shitty dunce hat. People don’t change unless they want to. You know that. “I just wish you were kinder to yourself, but that’s on you. So if you ever decide you want better, whatever that means, I’ll be there. Only if you want me to and only on your own terms—no physical activity required.”

“I might want to consider it, you know…” His voice lowers, softer and softer with hesitation, to the point that you find yourself leaning in. Noticing, as he seems to have noticed, that your hands are a hair’s breadth apart. “As a future prospect, if anything. But you have to understand, I don’t enjoy being watched.”

“I get that.” 

“Mm, no, I imagine people stare at you for very different reasons,” he mutters. “Not pity. Envy, perhaps.”

“I promise, most people don’t want these thunder thighs,” you huff, resisting the urge to slap them like a used car salesman. These babies can fit so much soul-crushing insecurity, which is a terrible pitch, really. The occasional bouts of self-loathing are not your strongest selling point.

He lets out the strangest bark of a laugh, so dry it’s almost ugly, as if he can read your mind. 

But you didn’t mean to derail. “Sorry, continue.” 

“Right…” Viktor draws in a long breath, quiet for a moment before he figures out how to word it. “It’s as simple as that I would rather go unseen. It’s very, ah, personal. And painful, sometimes.”

You think of the age old adage: If it hurts, don’t do it. “Um, not a doctor, but I don’t think it’s supposed to be?” 

“So they say,” he nods pensively, eyes ticking over some distant thought, maybe a memory. “It wasn’t like this before. The discomfort wasn’t… serious. That’s how I was able to ignore it for so long.”

“Ignore what?”

Not the brutal slam of the garage door across the house, for one thing. The pictures on the wall must be hanging crooked now.

Viktor sits straighter—if that’s even possible—and calls out: “Jayce?”

Footsteps—softer, distant.

His eyes snap back to yours. “It’s been a week since he’s come home,” he tells you in a quick whisper. “Mm, well, in the evening. He’s here in the morning—”

“To work out at the ass crack of dawn? I know.”

“You were invited?”

“He knows better than to think I’ll get up that early. I saw on his Instagram.”

Footsteps—louder now.

Viktor nods sagely. “Ah, yes, the stories. By my count, he has written, eh, ‘rise and grind’ forty three times since the first of the year.”

“That’s…” Your math isn’t great but, “More than once a week,” you whisper back, on the cusp of giggles as Viktor nods. And then, it hits you. “Wait—”

But the footsteps have stopped. 

And instead, there’s Jayce’s stoop-shouldered figure braced in the doorway. He sniffles loudly.

He’s still dressed in the khakis and blue button down he wears to work—rumpled, sleeve cuffs smeared darker. His eyes have that red, raw, burning swell of someone who's tried very hard not to cry, and failed spectacularly. 

Viktor finds the words you’re looking for with immediate precision. “Has something happened?” he asks, voice tight, hand tighter on your shoulder as he leans around you to look his roommate over. “Jayce?”

They spend a lot of time apart. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that they’re best friends too. 

He swipes at his nose as it runs into the raw little divot above his lip. Beyond sadness, there’s a guilty cast to his dark, hazel eyes, turned down to the floorboards, but you can’t find your voice to tell him that this isn’t what it looks like. 

“Are you… injured?” Viktor tries again.

Jayce shakes his head. No. 

“Is your mother alright?” 

“She’s fine,” he rasps. “Um… Can I just—?” he asks, gesturing weakly to the two of you.

Which you think must translate to: “You want to come sit?” 

“Yeah.”

Viktor’s of course comes without apprehension, without judgment. Only with the apparent surprise that he even needed to ask. 

But Jayce, in several long legged strides, doesn’t come sit. No, he collapses face first onto the bed behind you, all broad, shaking shoulders and quiet sniffles seeping out from behind his arms. They hide his face and nothing else. Hands curling, clenching into his shirtsleeve, there’s the thick band of a tan line striped across his middle finger. 

You turn yourself around, scooching closer, folding up cross-legged to face him. 

You’ve never seen him like this—laid so low. A sweat stain blooms dark at the small of his back, up between his shoulder blades, but sweat is sweat and Jayce is Jayce. You reach out to rub his back despite it.  “It’s alright…” you whisper. Feels like putting band-aids on a bleeding heart, but it’s all you have. 

Soft cotton weave catches the peeling skin of old blisters as you soothe your hand in circles. His shirt leaches the vetiver smell of cologne, but somewhere beneath it, there’s an elegant, cloying perfume still lingers. It’s no secret where he spends most of his time these days. 

You meet Viktor’s searching eyes and mouth: Mel. 

He nods gravely as if to say he drew the same conclusion.

Say something—that’s your next silent suggestion, canting your head toward Jayce. 

But instead, Jayce takes a deep, wet, shuddering breath and asks, muffled into the mattress, “Can… Can we go to Taco Bell?” 

“Sure…” you murmur. He could’ve asked you to drive him two states over to bury a body and you would’ve agreed just as thoughtlessly. Anything he needs. “We’ll take you.”

He doesn’t move. Just sniffles at a prompting little scritch to the nape of his neck, where his hair fades out to shadowy, peach-flesh fuzz.

So you ask, “Do you want to go change, and then I can drive us?”

“Can I just have a minute? Please?”

“Why?” demands a perplexed Viktor, still soft spoken. Desperate for an answer that isn’t made of cobbled assumptions; blunt in its pursuit. 

And worried. You can tell that he’s worried. 

As if you’d been the one to ask, the personification of wet, doleful misery lifts his head and looks up at you. His face is a ruin of dark, clumpy lashes and tear-tracked skin. His lip wobbles, the pressure of withholding little sobs building, building, building. But speaking it aloud makes it real. Speaking it aloud breaks the levee. 

“I think we just broke up,” he finally whispers. 

And cries face-down for another hour after that.

[andy-wm]

Jimin and Yoongi performed TM at The Final in Seoul...

AND OMG!!! I WAS THERE!

I took a chance on Jimin performing Tony Montana with Yoongi during the encore concerts and wrangled myself a Saturday ticket.

The stars aligned for me and like magic, there he was. Park Jimin, in real life. He performed not only Tony Montana but also, incredibly, Like Crazy. It was a dream come true!

Dont get me wrong, it wasn't ALL about Jimin. Yoongi is my bias, after all.*

But the reason i went, was in the hopes of seeing them together on stage for T.M.

It's really only hitting me now, 10 hours later as I queue to check-in for my flight home*°, how lucky I was. I'm trying not to cry in public. Yes, it was that good.

I cannot overstate the gloriousness of Jimin's live performance, especially for a solo choreo like this one.

He swirls and darts and glides through the movements like a murmuration.

He is a swan on water. He is an illicit drug. He is ambrosia. He is seduction.

He's the aurora borealis in human form.

The funny thing is, when he wasn’t transfixing us with his grace and his voice (and his hips), he was such a cute, awkward, lovable bean. And before he performed Like Crazy, he seemed SO NERVOUS. It was oozing from his pores.

There are moments in your life you will never forget, and Tony Montana in Seoul, at Yoongi's 2nd last show of his first solo tour, was one of them.

It was wild and exhausting, but totally worth it. 36 hours flying time and 36 hours in Seoul, arriving late friday night and leaving at the crack of dawn on Sunday to go directly to work on Monday morning when my flight landed.

(I readily admit I did a TERRIBLE job of videoing these performances. I have a special talent for taking absolutely rubbish footage. Even when I have a prime position and a very good camera my videos look like they were shot through a telescope on a rough sea. And often they're out of focus because I'm actually not looking at the phone once I hit the record button 😁)

☆~●~♡~●~☆

*Yes, absolutely Yoongi is my bias. Since day one, the very first time i saw any of them, it was Yoongi who grabbed my attention. I've always liked the moody, difficult boys LOL.

Jimin, however, has a place in my heart that will never be reclaimed or relinquished. Jungkookie is there by virtue of Jimin, because they come as a set.

☆~●~♡~●~☆

*° I wrote this in the early morning on Sunday 5 August and forgot to post it. Better late than never, I guess.

[hysteric-for-sterek]

Hindsight

When Stiles decided he was going to marry Lydia Martin, that’s exactly what it was: a decision. What he interpreted as destiny, was mostly just stubbornness. He’d declared, to Scott and to his Dad and to himself, that he was going to marry Lydia Martin, and to go back on that declaration was to admit defeat. And don’t get him wrong, it wasn’t all cool calculations and stubbornness, he did actually love Lydia. The pining and plotting was actually based on genuine feelings, it’s just that… they maybe weren’t as long-term as he’d initially thought. The more they both grew up, grew closer, became friends… well, the less naturally the ten year plan seemed to be at the forefront of his mind. Sometimes he… forgot… to have a crush on her. But, he was busy, alright? His life turned into werewolves and monsters and fear, he could be forgiven for putting his pining on the backburner occasionally.  

The point was… Stiles didn’t really know any different when it came to having feelings for someone. Lydia was his first crush. The way he handled it was all he really knew about such matters.  

Which was probably why he didn’t recognize what was really going on when it came to Derek. Or at least, that’s his excuse and he’s sticking with it. 

So… there may have been signs. But not major, flashing, neon ones, OK?  

Having a dream solely about Derek’s forearms? Dreams are always weird, they don’t mean anything. He once had one about a dancing frog made of toothpaste. Dreams don’t count for anything. 

Derek being the first person he called at the first sign of trouble? That was just practical! Derek had a car, werewolf powers, he actually answered his phone… of course he made sense as the first contact when something supernatural was out to get him. Or when he needed a ride somewhere important. Or when he saw a funny shirt that read “trust me, I’m not a werewolf”. Or when he was hungry. Or tired... Or bored... Whatever.  

Wearing Derek’s clothes? It’s not Stiles’ fault he was always caught off guard out in the woods without enough layers! He gets cold easily! And werewolves run hot! Derek lending him his jackets was not a big deal. It didn’t mean anything other than Derek being considerate of Stiles’ delicate human body being exposed to the elements. So what if Stiles rarely actually returned the jackets and jumpers and shirts and, on one occasion, pajamas (they’re so cozy and comfy omg) and continually wore them to the point of Scott complaining he stunk like Derek all the time? It’s just clothes, stop being ridiculous. 

“What about the bedsharing?” the voice in his head, that sounded a lot like Scott, asked. 

Well that was just sensible. You’re taking that out of context. There was only one bed in the loft and it was late and I didn’t really have anywhere else to go and Derek was insistent that I get some sleep and take his bed and there was no way I was going to make him sleep on the floor like an actual dog when his bed was plenty big enough to share! Come on, we’re two mature people, sharing a bed out of convenience didn’t mean anything! 

“The cuddling probably did.” 

I can’t help what my body does during the night while I’m asleep! 

“Uh huh. What about the fact that this has happened 5 more times since?” 

Shut-up brain-Scott.  

Hindsight is a funny thing. Because it’s not until this very moment, lying in Derek’s bed, with Derek’s arm pulling him flush against him, their legs tangled together and lips gliding together for the first time, that Stiles can see how they got here.  

The pack meeting wrapped up, Scott and Isaac went to work, Erica and Boyd went to see a movie, Lydia and Jackson went to the mall and Stiles stayed back to hang with Derek. They had a healthy debate about the possible existence of mer-people while Derek cooked them steaks and Stiles made a salad. They watched 2 episodes of Supernatural on Stiles’ laptop while laying on Derek’s bed, then got into another debate about whether beheading would really be the only way to kill a vampire. When Stiles had reached over Derek to snatch his phone off the nightstand in order to consult Peter on the matter and settle the debate once and for all, Derek had stopped him by pinning his arm above his head and something in the air just… shifted. Stiles had stared into Derek’s eyes and Derek had just… looked back. And then they were kissing. And Stiles’ hands were in Derek’s hair and Derek’s arms were pulling Stiles closer and… nothing was weird about any of it.  

Stiles had the thought that it wasn’t supposed to feel this normal, that he probably should have been having a slight existential crisis right now, but it just felt… right. Like this was obvious, like they were always going to end up here. 

“Well duh.” 

Shut up Scott-brain! 

[ontheshroom]

yess omg ok! what about being friends with jack since you were kids and he's had a crush on you for years but you haven't given him the time of day😭 and he invites you to one of his gigs (pre fame jack has my heart!!) and dedicates a song to you in front of everyone (i would marry him on the spot🫣) then after the performance he's ask you to be his gf

This One’s For You.

Pre-fame!Jack Harlow x fem!reader

Fluff

Synopsis: Jack dedicates a song to you.

“Look at the prettiest girl in the world waiting on her driver.” Jack smiles, wrapping his lanyard around his hand.

“Nah, why are you so late? You were supposed to be out ten minutes ago.” You cross your arms.

“Hey, I don’t become this hot overnight.” He winks.

“Then you might need a few more years cause it still hasn’t set in.” He smacks his lips and unlocks the car.

“Why did we have to get to the mall so early again?” He asks you.

“I have a date Friday night but nothing to wear, and you know my car needs new breaks.” You explain to him.

It seems like his whole demeanor changes after you mention your date. He straightens his back and nods.

“Okay.” He says, putting the car in drive and exiting the driveway.

“Any new music to play for me?” You ask him, turning your head to look at him.

He looks dazed and out of it like he almost looks sad.

“Nah, not right now, y/n.” He tells you shaking his head.

You pout subconsciously, feeling sad that he’s upset.

“Are you okay?” You ask him.

“I’m fine. Drop it.” He says, turning up his radio.

“Okay.” You sigh.

The two of you drive to the mall in silence. You look over at him now and then but his expression never changes.

Once the two of you arrive he puts the car in park and the two of you exit it and walk into the mall. You figure he might just need some space so you walk into a random store and start looking at things. You feel him following you around quietly.

“Are you upset because of what I said? I didn’t actually mean you have to wait years to look hot. You look perfec-“

“I’m not upset at that.” He laughs.

“Glad to know you think I’m hot though, baby.”

“Alright, don’t gas yourself.” You roll your eyes.

“I have a show tonight, can you come?” He asks, shyly.

“Duh, Jackman. I’ve got to every single thing you’ve performed at since I was like 5 and Ms. Maggie made you perform for our church.” You laugh.

“God, I almost forgot about that too.” He groans.

You laugh at him and shake your head. A pretty silver dress catches Jack’s eye and he immediately walks towards it checking it for a size. He smiles brightly as he sees the only one left in your size.

“Can you wear this to my show?” He asks, showing you the dress.

“Jack..that’s a bit dressy no?” You ask him, touching it.

“And expensive.” You crinkle your eyebrows at the $120 price tag.

“I’ll buy it. I just want to see you in it while I perform.” He negotiates.

“I guess.” You sigh.

“I’m gonna wear this dress to my date Friday.” You tell him holding up a regular tee-shirt dress.

Jack clenches his jaw at your words but then nods to the register. The two of you get in line and pay for the items before leaving the mall.

“What time is your show?” You ask him settling in the passenger seat.

“7:30.” He tells you, putting his arm behind your seat and reversing.

“Okay, pick me up?” You ask him.

“Anything for you, princess.” He smiles.

7:00

Three honks from outside let you know Jack is outside waiting for you. You quickly grab your bag, your charger, and your phone and make your way outside to his car.

“God damn! You might be the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen!” He yells.

“Stop.” You laugh at him.

“You don’t look too bad yourself Mr. Harlow.” You compliment him.

“Obviously.” He brushes himself off.

“I take it back, dickhead.” You laugh.

The two of you giggle and laugh all the way to his show

getting there around 7:15.

The two of you meet up with the rest of Private Garden and settle in front of the stage.

“And now, we’re happy to announce our performer, Jack Harlow!” The emcee tells the crowd.

“Woo!” You yell along with the rest of PG.

“Hey everyone, I’ll be performing a few songs from my album 18.” Jack says.

He performs Ice Cream, Obsessed, Selfish, and Got Me Thinking.

“I have one more song to perform for y’all, but this one is dedicated to y/n.” He says looking at you.

“You’ve been beside me since we were babies. Everything I do is gonna be for us, I promise. This is called Routine and it’s on my newest album Gazebo.”

Going through the mood swings. When you care more she don't make time. When she got time we just Facetime, but she beautiful, like real talk though. She come right after that 8-9 so I'm stuck on her. I'm so gone off her. Might lay in bed with some other girl. And talk about her after I bust on her. Like, what you think I should do?

You smile as Jack wraps up the song and says his goodbyes to the crowd before meeting with y’all.

“Jack.” You hit his shoulder.

“You didn’t tell me you were gonna do that.” You smile.

“I don’t want you to go on a date with that loser on Friday. I want you to let me take you out on Friday. I’ve had feelings for you for so long. I know you don’t want to alter our friendship, but I can’t see you as just a friend anymore.” He confesses.

A tear falls down your cheek before you pull him in for a kiss.

“So you’ll be my girl?” He asks with a goofy smile.

You giggle before nodding.

“I guess I’ll settle.” You smile.

“Disgusting.” Urban shakes his head.

“You’re just mad you’re single.” Jack laughs.

“Just don’t get her pregnant.” 2fo adds.

“And don’t break her heart.” Ace threatens him.

“I won’t, I won’t.” Jack holds his hands up defensively.

[gouthepro]

Roy for the SEND ME A CHARACTER thing plz

I actually forgot I reblogged that omg but I have been wanting to talk more about Roy so THANK YOU!!

Sexuality headcanon: Aroace

Gender headcanon: Cis male (he/him)

A ship I have for Roy: None because I hc him as aroace

A BROTP I have for Roy: Liko, Dot and I can see him getting along really well with Ann if they meet during the terastal arc

A NOTP I have for Roy: idk, I don't actually have any issues with the ships he's in (even though I don't ship any of them personally). So my only NOTPS for him are the illegal ones, for obvious reasons.

A random headcanon: How about multiple?

1- I hc Roy has a lot of freckles on his arms, legs, hands and face from being outdoors a lot on the island growing up, he probably also has a few scars from getting into accidents while playing in the woods, climbing trees or building his secret hideout.

2- He has ADHD.

3- I don't think he sleeps much? Maybe because he's thinking about new battle strategies to try with Fuecoco and Wattrel or thinking about catching the black Rayquaza but I feel like he'd be up late most nights because he just can't sleep and would sometimes run into Dot or others like Friede and Murdock who frequent the kitchen at around two am.

4- So us Likodot shippers talk a lot about the scene where Dot confesses she's Nidothing to Liko, right? Well, off screen there must've been a scene where Dot told Roy too and I like to think he'd already figured it out by the time Dot told him. There's no way he didn't notice Dot quickly run away before Nidothing started speaking after Iono showed up or put two and two together when Liko showed him the picture of Dot in her Nidothing costume from the indoor picnic. I imagine Dot went to find Roy after telling Liko she's Nidothing, preparing for it to be difficult and for him to not get it at all but the second she said she needed to talk to him about something to do with Nidothing he instantly just asked her "Oh yeah! Aren't you Nidothing?"

5- He has such a big heart so I believe he makes friends really easily, with everyone quickly taking a liking to him due to how enthusiastic and kind he is.

My general opinion on Roy: I absolutely love him, he's such a great character. His friendships with the other RVTs and his Pokemon are all so sweet, I really like the scenes where he caught Fuecoco and Wattrel because of how full of emotion both scenes were in such different ways. He's such a good friend to those around him too, from helping Fuecoco and Wattrel learn new things, helping Liko escape the angry bug types and him and Liko knowing exactly how to help Dot open up to them in episode 41. I also can't get over how he instantly knew who Dot was just because of how comfortable Quaxly was with her, even Friede was surprised by that, I feel like it really says something about his character. He's one of my favorites.

[angeltism]

YEAH BEING ON ANON FOR A WHILE WILL BE FUN and i did stay up like a lot last night but don't worry about it im actually super used to doing that LMAO alright ALRIGHT TIME FOR THE QUESTIONS oh lord you cant add a read more in asks. uh. sorry to all aqua followers HSJSHSJHS

1- i think we share like a Lot of fandoms actually! basing this off of your extended media you know rentry btw. UHM im a huge huge fan of prsk, honkai star rail, tbhk, bsd, milgram, vocaloid, undertale/deltarune and i think that's it? i wont go into much detail about other fandoms im in because one specific interest of mine could give away the whole answer to my mystery to some of our shared mutuals JSHSHSHDH but aside from that one im also into enstars bandori and some other rhythm games! not really sure what else to add to that list honestly i forgot everything i have ever liked in my life, i also have many irls from those medias :3

2- honestly? i have been having the biggest labels crisis of my life these past few weeks so pronouns aren't something i really have the ability to specify rn, just use whatever you feel like at the moment and i will be more than happy! curious to see what your perception of my gender ends up being so i can get closer to an answer to my, uhm, current dilemma! HSJSHSHJSJSJ

3- OH UH ITS ALL VOCALOID I THINK i can't really say i have specific artists i like outside of that... maybe will wood and that's, really it. aside from just those two its all specific songs from different artists yeah. BUT IT'S DIFFERENT WITH VOCALOID BECAUSE I CAN KINDA DISCERN WHICH PRODUCERS I LISTEN TO MORE! also some utaites i listen to like a looot, one example is Ado! onto vocaloid producers my favorites ever are Syudou (producer of Usseewa!) and Van De Shop (producer of Pheles!), aside from those two i listen to like a lot more just not with that much frequency (its mostly just one specific song or songs i like from those producers. yeah)

4- i have like a gazillion but lately i have grown very attached to periwinkle blue!

5- FOR LIKE A MONTH OR SO? I HONESTLY DONT REMEMBER JSSHSJSSHJSH as for the reasons... in many ways i realized we are like extremely similar (mostly with the yearning and the love and all that yknow) and that just made me start feeling more and more attracted to you because hey! she gets almost all of the things i experience! and well here we are now

6- i can confidently say fried chicken is my favorite food in this whole wide world, as for sweet stuff im kinda. basic. yeah its chocolate HSJSHSJSHDH

- 💌 anon (honestly sometimes i get scared i might end up not pressing the anon button and then ruin the whole surprise. eek!)

LMAOOOO it's ok the mewtuals will forgive uu . they have to or else /silly j

although WOWW OMG YEAH WE DO SEEM KINDA SIMILAR ?? W taste in media and music and colors (<- loves blue . is it obvious ehe) and wowow for like a month . . . wowowowow . . . . that's honestly impressive n kinda endearing wow <3

also i'll purrobably be defaulting to they/them i suppose since idk . for me . i can't rlly assume genders esp for beings i know online ? like my brain soorta can sometimes but other times just . nope . n i can't rlly think if uu give me more masc or fem or just neu vibes . . . like loveletter anon is loveletter anon . to me . y'know . but i hope uu figure out uur identity soon , lol , i know questioning can be kinda eeeh to go through (<- started calling myself genderqueer/multigenderqueer to avoid trying to find out any specifics bc i'm just Me and i'm just Queer Of Gender and other than that idfk lol)

also fried chicken is so good . . . i can't rlly handle bone-in stuff bc of my sensory issues (icky gross for my brain) but flavor-wise it's soo good omg . i just have to like , cut/rip it off of the bone before i eat it . and chocolate is a simple but rlly good pick honestly . it's like 90% of the sweets i eat bc ice cream takes freezer space , baked goods need to actually be made , etc etc . . . ooo wait i'm curious do uu like dark , milk or white better . purrsonally i like dark n milk :3

[castle-dominion]

Castle 6x21 law and boarder

the skateboard episode liveblog

Foggy Skateboard motorized bike Love a good chase scene, u'd never be able to run away on board tho. Construction work? wet concrete or smth?

Castle totally would have gone through every permutation. (there is only one combination.) If you brag like that I wouldn't care if you lose Alexis & beckett <3 (someone already giffed) Caslt mr word man would NOT lose to beckett tho, unless he just got really unlucky with his words.

Becks is so pretty! (I miss s1 beckett tho) RC: Sounds like a scene from an action movie. JE: Yeah. I know. Especially when the biker started shooting and Logan crashed through that window right there. Wow cool casts. He's a young man, 2-4am he'd totally be out that late.

Always a sus key, why around the neck tho? KANIE LOVE KANIE LOVE KANIE LOVE I LOVE THE GIRLS girling out for a sec there & I'm so happy. Oh. I forgot that this episode was the one with ryan & esposito fighting like that... Actually since watching this ep, my fam was in a situation like that. My older (trans) brother is my dad's best man. Esp since dad's last best man was probably hella catholic & hates dad now for leaving his wife. which valid.

"Congratulations lanie" Thanks! Also idk who castle picked I'm not a boy! You really think it's one of you two? rysposito argument. he HAS spent every day lol KR: Oh Javi, I’m the obvious choice. If you can’t see it I can’t explain it to you.

Cool wall at her place! Ah tsa crap. Ooh skateboard tools! No wonder tsa would hate him. I know ppl who went to china for martial arts training (the sifu was some sort of ambassador & made good relations b/w canada & china) & came back with weapons. on the plane. Performance items, we called them.

Oof. I mean yeah that's like being a skaster for ya. (I should pic outfits. I like ryan.) Becks knows bikes! KB: Oh. A reigning champion unable to cope with defeat. (she looks to CASTLE with intent) That sounds familiar.

Wow a fight.

Wow cameras! I wonder who did the filming! She owned a motorcycle! Extremely handsome with a high degree of difficulty.

Like his hat & outfit. & austin. & tampa.

it looks like what it is what it looks like. (Yeah that's the definition of looking like smth) "omg life & death" ok shut up.

Wow early intro this time huh "My associate Mr. Castle"

"You hear about Logan's death or the break-in?"

Your GUN? Tony hawk my beloved. *looking up a pic of him bc idk what he looks like-- I can SORT OF picture him but idk if that's him. studying a photo of tony hawk every night before bed so I never become one of Those People.)

You remember the words exactly or are you paraphrasing?

Love the way castle walks with the coffee. Ooh castle is pretty! lol dark web moments THE-- THE ALBANIAN MOB? Albania is actually rly pretty.

lol esopsito OH RYAN'S FACE

mountain dew lol. Wow another semi-cool hat. Bummed? Look at this party. Ross De Koning: The albanian killed him? RC: what albanian? Me, speaking as RDK: you know, the albanian guy who yelled at him or w/e happened, isn't that why you're asking about the mob? Why else would you find a link to albanian organized crime?

Oh wait no it was 5 or 6 years ago. My man sent this guy to prison... the mom got seven years? enver who theoretically got the mom into it got less time? ugh.

Ooh lighting in this room, nice wood looking good... Found the Lord! I like it. You were willing to pay it? really? Get momma released early? That's kind of him! I like Enver!

RYAN GAVE HIM THE RECIPE? SECRET FAMILY RECIPE!?!? (even jenny's lol) Awkward pat on the back. Could clip, esp that facial expression. (but if I did i'd also clip ryan's face when esposito walked away after giving the novelty pen.)

Skateboarding with a heavy thing? Poor guy. I remember cycling to school with my backpack, lunchbag, zipper binder, & violin all on my back. Yeah. yeah...

Won't clip castle's eyebrows. Beckett totally let him win. Ooh it's a turntable of a scrabble game. Ah quixotic, idealistic to the point of unrealistic. Hm, they played an entire game of this, set design & writers, I wonder if it is legit.

I love the mythical Bill. They always say goodbye to Bill on the phone. I want Bill fanart. & by one of us I mean you. Ah true, bachelor party planning would probably be better by esposito. Ah true, Ryan is the high moral standing-- WAIT HE JUST CALLED HIMSELF PRETTIER XD "Did she beat you at scrabble again?" "is stephen king winning at texas hold em again?" "did somebody find naked pictures of you again?" (well the 2nd wasn't ryan but) JE: *pat pat* KB: ?

Wait I never grabbed an outfit pic! Noooo! Too late lol. Nice outfit today too but I think I've seen him wear it before & got a pic. Like how there was beckett's purple shirt that I saw in my clips when I was thinking about snapping a pic of it this ep-- turns out I got the shirt in a different ep already!

Ooh rock wall! I love climbing! Ooh maybe I should snap caskett's outfits. Oh. Good gravy. Lol there are easier ways to break in than lockpicks. Why go through the lock when you can just go through the door?

hi8? never heard of that. Hey becks is back to wearing that wierd beige thing...

That is why you never wear logos on your clothes.

Ah motorcross rider!

My man has adhd, motorcross performer? up in the middle of the night? jittering like that? yeah.

Ryan brought him a coffee sdjfoijsjjfkjlsdkjf *interrupts before castle can drink* *again* *almost again* *literally backs away* should I clip? no

that's where the 3k was from! He stayed inside? Why not escape with him? I mean yeah ask for a cut bro! *literally was criminaling right then*

Bacon brownies! "you had me at bacon" that was one of the last words he said bro. *lookingn ryan up & down like "you cockblocker" minus the cock* (actually new fic idea: ryan & esposito are trying to seduce Castle, & then at the end castle says "actually, I choose BECKETT!!" & the boys are like "well crap." & maybe it ends with "well now I have all this stuff for seducing men, whatever will I do with it?" & possibly *trying to impress eachother all along*) Ooh I can see names: sullivan-- WAIT SULLY'S STILL HERE! --& messer or w/e that one says (I saw it last ep too)

*cockblocking*

RC: Have you noticed anything odd about Me: ryan & esposito, yeah RC: ebosito & ryan Me: WHOM

OOoh love her hair! (Weird-nice. just sorry for you bc I beat you at scrabble.) My man looks like a baby. Or not I take it back.

HOO! I love ryan with a waistcoat that ties a bit tight on the lower back-- Mm! I'm gay but I'd be a lesbian for this man! (my 3d gender chess makes sense to me. except I suck at chess. I should post that.)

IDK TO CLIP BUT OH MY GOSH THIS. SCREAMING SCREAMING SCREAMING. CAN'T SAY WORDS. TOO MUCH TOO GOOD

when they were looking around I totally thought that they were going to suggest a dead body. bc then it is a third person not them & also it's funny bc homicide detectives. but No Way.

Poor gal, her son is dead... Ah yes, the good old days. Neighbourhood stuff. Six years-- didn't we hear that? Oh wait it was 5 or 6 years ago that ever want to jail

It's that neighbourhood? of course they don't care abt the death of the 12yo. Love a good old camcorder cassette. CSU would have noticed that

6 seconds is a lot! Toory unrealistic tech magic moments. makes my baby bro mad.

Why NOW? why running out of time?

Tommy Fulton: *immediately assumes they are accusing him of murder*

What plan? Brett Zaretsky: You can’t kick me out of here. This man’s my client. TF: Youre fired.

Cute, skateboard video! Love it! lol me & my brothers. Little bro rly good, better than me, I feel like crap. At least little bro isn't loud about it. Oh heck you watched the murder!? Holy crap! & that's why the cam was on the ground, u dropped it as soon as u saw the attack to go help.

was this in present time? WAIT THIS WAS BACK THEN? WHAT KID IN A BAD NEIGHBOURHOOD HAD 5 MIL TO SPARE LIKE A DROP IN THE BUCKET? oh at least it was smth he didn't actually have As A Kid.

DK logo! De Koning! I like how in the back some ppl were still partying for a minute there.

Brah

RC: And to think all of this happened because Ross couldn’t bear being second best. (pause) So. Are you ready for another rematch?

Man-chat? After all ryan & esposito are basically one person. Best of both worlds RC: Um … guys, I’m, uh– flattered & honoured– KR: You’re welcome. JE: Yeah, you should be. RC: He chose alexis! alkjsdfhljksdfhsdjadfkjhhfdjeyb I am love love love love I am so happy. They look almost mad in their shock (just like my brother. dad's best man. except he's not a girl. tho he is trans so idk.)

KR: I did not see that coming. JE: I can’t believe I gave him my pen. KR: I can’t believe I shared our family’s secret recipe. JE: I can’t believe we just got beat by a girl. KR holds out a finger. KR: Let’s never speak of this again. JE: Speak of what? (won't clip)

A midnight sing-along of Grease? a What?

Why did you do that?

Oh yeah they used to play poker, I remember when the captain & everyone was at his place & then they caught a murder late at night... Yeah that was fun.

Ooh heheh, look at these two. Love them sm She has a bra AND a watch left!

Could you play strip scrabble?

that was fun

[shenashygans]

THE SUNDAY CURRENTLY -28-

i actually don't know what to do today, or to write here. but it's (really) Sunday. so.. another TSC form yours truly~

CURRENTLY

Reading

a fanfiction i've read already. i'm reading it again~

Writing

we're on 28 na~

Listening

to ate rose's chikka. it's ranjit's birthday kasi kahapon. andun kami para kumain and all. kinukwento niya sa akin 'yung pag-aaway nila at pagluto niya ng handa, etc :))

Thinking

about nothing really. is that a good thing? i've been thinking a lot, overthinking levels? maybe. but suddenly, i forgot everything? ahh ignorance is truly bliss~

Smelling

lumpiang shanghai~ sharon from last night. lol

Wishing

that the haze in my mind will clear already. or stay? idk. i wish for better days ahead, too. i wish that everything will be okay :)

Hoping

to find a new stable job soon. ung tipong pwede ko na buhayin jowa ko at pamilya namin, pati lahat ng friends ko. oha oha

Wearing

a dress. lol. my unifrom. duh?

Wanting

to find out what time the bus arrives, and where it arrives. lol. mamumulubi na kami kaka-taxi ako. it's not good. paslangin ako ng jowa ko. i want to ride the bus na.

Needing

so i need to wake up early diba? to ride the bus. kaya i need to sleep early din. should i drink cetirizine nanaman? omg. lasing levels un after. lol i need to make ayos a lot of stuff din. but mostly, it's clutter. so i just need to sort it out. hehe

Loving

our bonding last night. it was ate rose's BF's bday yesterday. nagluto silang biryani, istapeggy, bihon, chimken, shanghai at bola2 (na maalat) at turon&cheesticks. we drank Jägermeister (with coke. lasang rootbeer) after. and sang some songs. di na sana ako iinom madami, pero biglang sabi ni ate rose, "uminom ka, last mo na 'tong bonding sa amin". aww. onga ano? hehe happy birthday, ranjit~

Feeling

i feel tired? pwede ba mauna na ung pagod (sa paglilipat) kahit hindi pa nakakalipat? unahin ko na ung pagod, para pag naglipat na talaga, wala ng pagod? pwede ba un? lol. i feel exhausted lately. idk. i feel drained. and as a gemini, it's not good. lol. i need excitement in my life. char. gulo-gulo na ako kung ano feelings ko :)) gusto ko nalang talaga makalipat na ugh.

Manifesting

5+ salary for us! healing for everyone! peace of mind and heart, too~

ikli nito. kasi wala ako ma-say. hehehe

[eepyjay]

it’s december 5!!🎄🎄your christmas traditions sound lovely! i really love the joy and excitement in the air leading up to the holidays! i hope you’re doing well and you survived all the louis content today bc it destroyed me🥹

im so glad your harry show was so good!! my louis show was definitely amazing and i really hope you are able to go to one in the future!! and omg he better sing holding on to heartache i need that😩

i’ve realized i forgot to reply when you asked for movie recommendations so here are some of my favourites! love rosie, pride & prejudice (2005), love actually, romeo and juliet (the leo one), andddd 10 things i hate about you!

question of the day: what would you say are your top 3 favourite albums of all time and which is your favourite song from each of those?

gross fun fact: horned lizards can shoot blood from their eyes up to 3 feet!

-holiday anon🤍

Hi, I’m so sorry for answering this a day late!

What holiday traditions do you have, if you don’t mind me asking? I hope you’re doing well and that you’re surviving day two of Louis filled content, my heart and barely take it!

He absolutely needs to sing holding onto heartache, it’s a masterpiece!

Now, don’t hate me, but I’ve never seen Pride and Prejudice, Love Actually or 10 things I hate about you so it looks like I’ll be adding those to my watch list!! I’ve always meant to but just never got around to it! However, the Leo Romeo and Juliet is everything

I think it’s impossible for me to pick a top three of all time!!! There’s so much music in life and I consume so much of it!! I’ll try, I suppose but I know as soon as I write my choices I’ll want to change them cause there’s just so much music out there!! Let’s go self titled (bonus track edition) by Hozier, and I literally can’t do more cause I’m picking like ten albums but Hozier’s self titled (bonus track edition) will always be in the top three! Oh and fav song is probably Run or In a Week or Sedated. Those other two albums? I’ve got no clue, they’re constantly rotating! I thought about putting Wild World (complete edition) by Bastille but I’m on the fence cause it’s a great album but for of all time? I’m not sure and I don’t listen to it too often anymore

That is a gross fun fact! Imagine being able to do that! How insane! I’ve seen videos of it and I hate it!!!

Wishing you happy rest of your day/night and that it treats you well! ❤️

[spencerswhoreclub]

Professor Reid

By- spencerswhoreclub

Wc- 2660

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AN- This is part of a series that I have on wattpad so u should go check that out, my wattpad user is the same as my tumblr, spencerswhoreclub.

this chapter contains- male receiving oral sex, anal fingering (male), switch (but mainly dominant) girl, switch (but mainly submissive) boy,  female penetration, orgasm deprivation, mommy kink, slightly heavy degrading, and choking.

Just for some background info- it's y/n's first day of college and she's majoring in psychology and criminology. I literally don't know what this class would be called so we're just going to call it "intro to the criminal mind" idk it just makes sense to me.

--------------

Your POV

--------------

Today is my first day of college. I moved across the country from California to Virginia with my best friend Maya, but other than that I'm pretty much alone here. So I was very confused this morning when I heard two voices coming from the kitchen of me and Maya's shared apartment. Obviously I went to go investigate and when I did I saw her and another girl.

"Hey Maya, can I talk to you really quick"

She rolled her eyes but ultimately walked towards me and allowed me to pull her around the corner

"Who the fuck is that, we've been here for a week and you already have a girl"

"We met last night at a bar and really hit it off, I think this one could actually be something"

"Okay as long as you're happy, just making sure she's not a serial killer.

We both went back to the kitchen and I decided to greet her, normally I wouldn't bother but if she's serious about this girl then I'll put in the effort.

"Hey my name is y/n, y/n y/l/n"

"I'm Emily, Emily Prentiss"

In order to save us from the awkwardness Maya decided to chime in, thank god.

"Y'all are so professional, anyways y/n don't you have to get ready for your class"

"Omg yeah I totally forgot, see you later"

I got ready and I rushed outside to see that I'm blocked by one of my neighbors. Great, just what I needed to start off the day. I walk over and knock on their door and I'm greeted by a fine ass man. (Just imagine season 9 Spencer)

"Um hey, I'm your new neighbor and you're kinda blocking me in"

"Oh I'm so sorry I was just about to head out anyway give me a second"

He goes back into his house momentarily and gets his keys and what I'm assuming is his work bag and heads out to his car.

"Sorry about holding you up" he called from his window

"Oh it's no problem at all, I'll be fine"

As soon as he pulled out I ran to my car and sped to the school but I still ended up being 5 minutes late. I walk into the class and the professor is reading the syllabus. I hoped he'd be distracted and not notice my late arrival but of course that would be too good to be true

"You're late, see me after class"

he says without even looking up, I can already tell this year is going to be very interesting. I look to find a seat and of course the only one that's open is right up front and center. 

After sitting down he finally looks up at me and I recognize him, that's my neighbor. We obviously recognized each other at the same time and were both frozen in a state of shock.

He did eventually shake it off and go back to what he was saying Before. I decided it would be best to look literally anywhere else so I chose the board. Upon looking I noticed a name, written in the most god awful hand writing is "Dr Spencer Reid"

After class I stayed behind waiting for, whatever it is that he wanted to talk to me about.

"So um I was going to ask you why you were so late but I guess it was my fault, is there any way I can make it up to you"

"What exactly are you implying Dr Reid"

As soon as he realized what his words might be suggesting he turned a deep shade of red

"I-I just meant maybe I could take you out of coffee or make you dinner or something"

"Are you asking me on a date?"

He chews on his lip, obviously thinking about how he wanted to word what he was about to say

"Um yes, I guess so"

"Well in that case I'd love to come over for dinner"

"Okay meet me at my house at 6, wear something nice"

"Alright, it's a date"

--------------------

Spencer's POV

---------------------

I can't believe I just asked out one of my students, I mean our relationship started off as anything but professional so I guess it's not that big of a deal.

I couldn't focus on anything the entire day but eventually I finished up with my last class and I rushed home to prepare everything for y/n. I made the only thing I know how, pasta, Rossi would be so proud of me.

After the food was done I took a shower and got dressed, I decided to go with a red button up shirt and dark grey pants, and paired it with a gold watch and chain.

————————----

Third person POV

————————----

When Spencer heard the doorbell ring he nearly tripped over his feet just trying to get to the door. He was so nervous of what's to come but as soon as he opened the door it all melted away.

There she was standing in the doorway in a beautiful red dress that stopped just below the knee, it was a fitted dress that showed off her perfect body.

(Ik this is generally where the writer talks about the small waist and curves but that bs tbh, imagine her as having your body because it is perfect, okay rant over)

It was paired with beautiful grey heels and gold jewelry. They matched so perfectly without even planning it, almost like they were made for each other.

-------------------------------------

Your POV (I promise this is the last time it switches)

------------------------------------

He's so perfect, I almost want to jump his bones right now, but I keep myself composed. He led me into the dining room and pulled out my chair for me to sit.

"And they say chivalry is dead"

"It's not, if he really cares he'll do it"

He grabs my chin looking deep in my eyes

"Or maybe I'm just weird"

Then walks to the kitchen laughing it off like he didn't just literally stare into my soul, this man is so... intriguing. When he came back he had our food and it was my absolute favorite, Chicken Alfredo, I know it's simple but I love it.

The rest of the dinner just included us getting to know each other. The longer he talked, the more I fell for him, he's definitely someone I will not be letting go of soon.

Unfortunately, the dinner came to an end around 9 and even after talking for hours I still didn't want to leave. But eventually he did walk me to the door to say his final goodbye and he kissed me.

Of course I kissed back immediately, I've literally been wanting to do this all day. Not before long I ended up deepening the kiss.

Eventually we both pulled apart looking at each other, without saying a word he grabbed my hand and we both stumbled into his bedroom. As soon as he shut the door his lips were on my neck, he sucked on my pulse point and I let out a soft moan.

He pulled off of me and immediately started whining but the disappointment was short lived because he turned me around and unzipped my dress. I stepped out of it and immediately went to undress him

Once we were just in our underwear , it was my turn to kiss down his neck. I pushed him onto the bed and continued down his body till I was at his boxers and I pulled them down leaving him naked.

I decided a little teasing wouldn't hurt so I took my time leaving dark marks all the way up on his hip bones and down his thighs.

When I felt like he had finally had enough, I grabbed his dick and he whimpered

"Please"

"Awe baby what are you begging for, what do you want mommy to do"

I say while grabbing it tighter and pumping up and down his shaft

I don't know if it was my hands on his dick or me calling myself mommy but all Spencer could manage to get out is little whimpers. I normally wouldn't let it slide but he looked so cute so I gave in and sucked on his tip.

He flinched and let out a hushed yelp he covered up by biting his lip. So I stopped my motions completely and took my mouth and hands off of him. He started to complain so I crawled up to grab his face.

"Shut up and stop being a little bitch. I'm going to be nice about it because you don't know the rules yet. You are going to sit down and take whatever I give you and I don't want to see you holding back noises, I don't care if our neighbors hear us"

He just nodded his head in response which only made it worse

"Use. Your. Words."

"Y-yes ma'am, p-please I promise I'll be good"

"Perfect"

I let go of his face and went back down to where I was before and grabbed his dick again. I sucked on the tip for a minute and slowly bobbed my head up and down taking more and more of him in each time.

"I also forgot to tell you you need to ask permission to cum, got it?"

He nodded and I shot him a glare as a warning.

"Y-yes ma'am"

Because I was happy with his answer I decided I'd give in and take all of him in my mouth. It hit the back of my throat and I gagged softly but ignored it, then suddenly I feel him twitch

"Can I please cum mommy"

Of course I couldn't say anything so I just nodded my head in agreement and soon after, he came and I crawled back up the bed so I was eye level with him.

"I know your soft right now and I know a good way to get you hard again quickly but you have to trust me"

"I'd trust you with anything y/n"

"Okay then get on your hands and knees with your ass facing me."

And without any type of protest he did what I said, my thumb went to his hole and pressed lightly and he whimpered.

"I was going to ask if that was okay but you obviously like it, of course a dirty whore like you would"

I took my middle finger and gently put it in and he let out a loud moan. I added another finger and brushed against his prostate.

"Fuck, mommy"

I smirk to myself and keep going, periodically stroking his dick.

"Can I please cum"

He practically yelled, god I love how responsive he is. I eventually let him get right at the edge and stopped abruptly to flipped him over

"No, I just did that to get you hard"

I saw the tears in his eyes form from the stress of being denied his release and laughed.

"How cute, did you think crying like the little baby you are was going to change anything"

I grabbed his face and kissed his tears away

"Come on baby I promise you'll get to cum again"

He grabbed my face and smashed his lips into mine.

I reach down between our bodies and align his dick with my entrance and slowly sink down, our kiss being the only thing muffling our loud moans.

Eventually I started bouncing up and down and the room was filled with both of our loud moans. I wrapped my hand around Spencer's throat to choke him.

"Look at you, you look so pathetic letting a girl ride and choke you-"

He cut me off by flipping us over into missionary and choking me with one hand and the other digging into my hips, that's definitely going to leave a mark.

"Little girl, did you really think you had complete control over me, how cute"

He says while choking me harder

He pretty much cut my air off completely but I didn't care. I didn't expect him to be this dominant. Without warning he started fucking into me harder, completely bottoming out, this time it was my turn to have tears fall down my cheeks from being overwhelmed with pleasure and the lack of oxygen. I felt myself get close and I managed to choke out a few words

"I'm about to c-cum"

"Go ahead, cum on my dick baby girl"

I came soon after and grabbed his arm signaling him to loosen his grip and he did, just enough so I could speak.

"P-please Dr Reid fill me up"

"I guess, since you asked so nicely"

He came deep inside me and collapsed on me to catch his breath. When both of our breathing was finally slowed down he got a washcloth to clean me up with. After he was done he laid beside me and I put my head on his chest.

"Um y/n, was that good?"

"No"

I managed to say it with a straight face but when I saw his expression fall I couldn't contain my laughter.

"I'm just kidding Spence, that was probably the best sex I've ever had. And you're crazy if you think I'm not going to come back to do it again"

I said through a yawn

"We can just not tonight, you look like you're about to pass out"

"What do you mean I'm wide... awake"

It wasn't very convincing because my eyes were already half closed.

"Yeah sure, goodnight"

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Next morning

————————

I woke up spooning him, me being big spoon, of course. Spencer just looked so cute I couldn't bring myself to wake him up, at least for ten minutes, I eventually got bored and started leaving even more hickeys.

"I wouldn't mind waking up like this every day"

"Good morning sleepy head you need a shower"

He put his hand on his chest defensively

"I'm hurt"

He says jokingly

"Yeah yeah whatever, we smell like sex"

"Will you join me?"

"You know Spencer, for a guy with an iq of 187 you're pretty fucking stupid"

"Sooo... that a yes"

I didn't respond, I just rolled my eyes and got in the shower. We ended up washing each other and giggling about everything and nothing at the same time, god I feel like a kindergartener talking to her crush at recess.

After we got out of the shower and dried off I realized I didn't have any clothes so I stole a shirt from him.

"Hey, you're stealing my clothes already"

"I mean I could just walk back to my apartment naked then"

I say as I start to pull the shirt over my head

"No, no you can wear it i guess. It looks cute on you anyways"

He walks up to me and pecks me the lips then grabs my hand leading me to the kitchen.

He puts some coffee on for the both of us and asks how I take mine, I didn't end up getting a chance to respond because I was interrupted by the sound of someone opening the door.

"y/n this is my roommate and her girlfriend- "

"Emily? Maya?"

"Wait you guys know each other"

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

Touch it for Real, Part 10

Genre: Humor / Fluff / Angst / (Eventual) Smut 18+

Warnings: OMG they were roommates / slice of life / slow burn / mutual pining / crude humor / cursing / virgin!baek / idiots to lovers / unresolved sexual tension

Characters: Baekhyun X You/Female Reader

Description: You teach Baekhyun how to date. (Basically the Get You Alone M/V)

A/N: I had to split this chapter due to length. Part 10.5 will follow tomorrow. 

The song inspiration for this chapter is Eric Nam’s The Night

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 , Part 8 , Part 9 , Part 10 , FINAL Part 10.5

You hadn’t touched the app since you’d done it.

You hadn’t slept much either.

The guilt was eating you alive from the inside and you were pretty sure the ache you felt in your stomach was an ulcer from the stress of living with the horrible mistakes you had made.

Your room was the wrong temperature.

Your bed was uncomfortable.

The light that shone through your window from the moonlight was too bright. You couldn't hide away from it no matter how hard you tried.

No matter how tightly you closed your eyelids you could still see everything too clearly. Even hiding your head under your pillow didn't block it all.

The clock on the wall of your bedroom ticked rhythmically and the sound was counting down to your destruction.

You fought the useless battle against the bright moonlight for hours until you realized the reason why you could so clearly see the messy clothes on the floor in front of your closet and the overflowing wastebasket sitting beside your desk wasn’t because of a super moon occupying the sky outside, but that brightness was actually the sun shining through your window now; alerting you to the fact that you had once again spent an entire night wallowing in your own self pity or self hatred or self loathing or whatever self bullshit was on the docket this time.

It was Sunday morning.

You were sitting on a time bomb as you spread butter on your toast and kept your ears tuned in for the sounds of life inside his bedroom.

You hadn’t really expected him to, but Baekhyun hadn’t appeared since last night when he disappeared inside his bedroom to sleep. You hadn’t heard him playing games all night or even heard his shower running or playing loud music well into the sunrise.

Was he really sleeping?

All night?

Like a normal person?

Or maybe like someone who wasn’t too weighed down by the pressure of their own substantial sins might sleep.

You knew that Baekhyun liked to sleep in late on days when he had nothing pressing to attend to. You’d both gotten in late last night and he probably wouldn't make an appearance until late morning. Maybe not even until lunchtime.

Your toast was bland and floppy by the time you took a bite and you scowled down at the disappointing thing. Surely and somehow you could blame yourself for this breakfast failure. It wasn’t the toaster. That thing was perfect. It was you. You’d waited too long to eat it. You’d been wallowing for too long and now it was a waste.

It was all a waste.

You’d drive yourself crazy at this rate. You needed a distraction to get through it.

You would do laundry and clean your bathroom and tidy your room and maybe then you could think.

Think about what you had done to Mia, what you had done to Baekhyun; think about how low that was and how undoable it was. It wasn't like you could un-delete the messages.

You worked on your Sunday chores and you were thinking hard. The doubt was heavy and made the load of laundry you carried out of your bedroom feel this basket was full of bricks and you were walking on a sandy beach.

How would Baekhyun react? Would he know that you had been the one to delete the messages or would he blame it on a glitch in the system? What would he think of you when Mia told him that he’d agreed to meet her himself last night. Last night when he was asleep.

What would happen to Mia?

Would she sit alone at the cafe for an hour waiting for him or would she text him right away?

Would she quietly absorb her disappointment at being stood up or would she blame him for it. Had you just made him the bad guy? Your sweet Peanut — a villain?

You didn't want to hurt her. You had liked her. Your jealousy had just taken over last night. You’d never been stood up before but you imagined it felt awful. Baekhyun knew what it felt like. Would it hurt him terribly to believe that he had somehow played a part in causing someone else that kind of pain by making the mistake of associating with you; the mistake of trusting you?

You’d been watching your laundry spin around in a circle for a half an hour now and you looked up on top of the machine to see the carefully measured cup of soap sitting there. You’d been so lost in your thoughts that you forgot to put it in. The disappointment you felt in yourself was fitting it hardly even made a dent in the already deep down in the mud mood you were in.

You’d have to stop the cycle and restart it with soap. You’d wasted all of that water.

If Baekhyun knew about this he would be so disappointed in you. He would complain and nag about the irreparable damage you’d done to the Earth, to his Earth, his planet, his home. The only one he had to live on.

And you deserved to be nagged. You deserved to be scolded and yelled at and you deserved to be made to feel like the absolute scum of the earth because what you had just done to him was unforgivable.

Would he really never forgive you?

Was this what finally did it? Not your laziness or your pranks or your inability to pay rent on time, but this? You’d been given his trust and you’d trampled all over it. You’d taken what he’d given you, his friendship and his access to him, to his privacy that he valued above all else and you’d squandered it for selfish and jealous and disgusting reasons. You’d trampled all over it, all over him. Again and again you showed that you didn’t deserve someone like him. You’d sinned against him and for what?

To stop him from dating a girl who you’d pushed him toward in the first place.

You were an asshole. The worst kind. A jealous, petty, selfish asshole.

You felt it then. You’d paused your load of laundry and you reached for the soap after the water drained from the tub. You held the button down to cancel and reset the cycle and you watched the digital display blink angrily at you, telling you that what you were trying to do was not allowed, it was against the rules. You were supposed to just let the wash cycle happen, you were just supposed to let it happen, you had been the one to push the button, you started it, why were you pausing right now why were you stopping and reversing when this was what you wanted? What kind of asshole stops the cycle right in the middle?

The numbers on the screen blurred. It was a blinking fuzzy red tinted mess. You could feel the sting and then the relief of the tears that crested and fell and you exhaled through a mostly stuffed up nose.

You couldn't do this to him.

The tears on your face were warm and wet and they fell freely as the intense regret washed over you completely.

This wasn’t you. You weren’t this person. You weren’t underhanded and sneaky. You didn't have the stomach for it. You felt like you might be sick just imagining poor Mia sitting there waiting for him, thinking the worst of him, believing that he was that kind of selfish cruel man who would treat a woman this way. That wasn’t fair to Baekhyun and you’d been a real monster to try such a low down dirty trick like this.

You had to fix this.

You were out of any other options other than honesty. You had to tell him exactly what you had done last night in a moment of misguided weakness, in a moment of stupidity and you had to tell him that he still had time to go meet her, to talk about whatever it was she wanted to tell him.  

You swallowed the lump in your throat and went into your bathroom to clean your face up. You would not let him be swayed by the selfish tears on your face. You had to control yourself and confess your crimes and you had to be straightforward and strong about it.

You gripped your cell phone and you inhaled a breath through your nose and exhaled it slowly through your mouth. Your exhale hiccuped once from the earlier upset and so you did it again; breathing in deeply, filling your lungs as full as you could and exhaling in one long continuous breath; until it was stable again, until you could feel your racing heartbeat relinquishing the manic control it had over you.

His door was closed and it was quiet behind the door.

You knocked twice, listening carefully over the thumping in your chest for the sound of his voice from inside.

Finally it came; a soft hum from within.

“Baekhyun—” You called through the door, “can I come in?”

His voice hummed again, low and sleepy, and you turned the knob, pushing the door open and then pushing yourself forward slowly.

He was in his bed, half under his covers with a leg sticking out and he rolled away from the wall he was facing as you came into the room, pulling his blanket down to uncover his face, his eyes peered at you as he squinted against the light in the room.

“Hmm?” He hummed again and his eyes closed back up.

You held your phone out toward him and you moved closer to his bed. He squinted one eye open and lifted a hand palm up which he quickly dropped back down onto the bed, clearly still half asleep.

“Did you break your phone?” His voice was thick with sleep and his eyes were still closed as he talked to you.

“No, I didn’t break it. I did something wrong.”

“Give it. I’ll fix it.” He was talking again, reaching again with more conviction now as the spell of sleep that he had been under began to break.

He was sitting up. He was looking at you with his warm brown eyes and he was blinking as he tried to focus on what you were saying to him.

“No. I didn't break it. I did something wrong,” you repeated for emphasis and continued for clarity, “I did something bad to you. Last night when you were asleep—”

Oh this was hard. His brows lifted and you had his attention. Your words, the seriousness of then sharpened his eyes on you as you spoke.

“Last night, Mia messaged you...after the date.”

Baekhyun’s eyebrows furrowed and he was watching you very closely as the words emerged. His eyes were focused on your face and his mind was processing what you were telling him. He was still sleepy but your words were pulling him out of it. His hands gripped the cellphone you’d pushed into his hands.

“I opened the app you made for me. I read a message that Mia sent you. She wanted to meet you for coffee t-today— this afternoon, in less than an hour.”

You could feel your control slipping as you spoke the truth about the awful thing you had done and you had to look down and away from his face as you continued your confession otherwise that thickness you felt in your throat would come through in your voice. Otherwise you might not make it through this without crying. You promised yourself already that you would not do that. You had to get this out and it had to be clear and controlled. You did not deserve his sympathy or even his forgiveness. This violation had been inexcusable.

Your own hands were empty. You’d given him your phone and he was holding it now.

“I pretended to be you, told her you would meet her and then I deleted the messages so you would not see them. So that you would stand her up. It was wrong of me. It was a mistake. I’m sorry. You can delete the app, or change the permissions or do something. I’m sorry. I know you trusted me and I messed it all up — Baekhyun, you can still make it. You can get ready and go meet her for coffee. She had something she wanted to ask you. If you get ready now, you won't miss her. She wont get stood up because — because I fucked up and I acted like an asshole.”

Baekhyun’s sleepy face had changed as you spoke. You inhaled a deep breath and looked into his eyes and you found him watching you with a new hardness in his eyes that you hadn’t seen before and his hand gripped tight enough to snap around your cell phone.

You could feel the blood under your skin just at the surface, heating your flesh and flushing your cheeks. You pulled your lips tight to keep the tremble out of them and he was watching your face too closely for you to be able to keep up the eye contact.

“Bug, why would you do that?” He spoke through clenched teeth and all traces of his earlier sleep were gone.

“I’m sorry. It just felt so bad and I knew it was wrong but I did it anyway and I have no excuse.”

You felt the bed move when he shifted and he was pushing himself up into a full seated position with his legs hanging over the side of his bed.

The movement made you push back and away, clearing a path for him to get up. You knew he had to get ready quickly if he wanted to make it in time. What if there was traffic?

“You still have time to make it— if you go now,” you said with a quick glance up into his eyes and you noticed he’d abandoned your phone on his bed as he moved. “She’ll be waiting for you.”

Baekhyun wasn’t standing yet and he was still looking at you with that odd hardness in his eyes and a very slight back and forth head shake as his only significant movement.

Your mind was preoccupied with the ticking clock on the wall and he was still just sitting there on his bed looking at you.

Yes, you had disappointed him. Yes, you had fucked up. But you were trying here. You were trying to make this right and you knew it wasn’t fair to him to throw this surprise coffee date on him at the last second but you’d fucked up and you couldn't think of any other way to fix it other than to get that man to stand up and get dressed so he could go meet her right now.

You reached for his hand and you grabbed lightly around his wrist and you pulled.

“Baekhyun. You need to move. You’re not moving. Please.” Your pleas were growing desperate. How in the world would you fix it if he wouldn't let you fix it?

“Is it because you were upset about Ben?” When he finally moved it was not his body or his legs it was his mouth and you let your hand sag with his wrist still suspended in your grasp.

He moved then, Baekhyun stood up and you let your hand fall away from his arm, pulling your arms up awkwardly to cross them over your chest. You took another step away. The discomfort flowed through your entire body. You’d created this problem. This was all your fault. This atmosphere was unbearable and you could only blame yourself.

You were looking down at your feet and you wished he wasn’t watching your face as closely as he was as his eyes roamed over your pained expression. He was still shaking his head and you could tell that he was trying his hardest to make sense out of your terrible actions.

You were his friend. Surely his friend had to have a good and valid reason for doing this to him, right? Surely it wasn’t just because maybe she was a bad person and did bad things.

With your eyes on your feet though, it was easier to shake your head and deny that Ben had anything at all to do with why you’d attempted to sabotage his new relationship.

“Baekhyun, you can still make it,” your voice was a whisper. You could feel your careful resolve crumbling the longer you stood here under his watchful eyes. You could feel it in your chest. Your breathing pushed hard against your lungs that fought against the oxygen and your heart pounded so noisily inside of you that you began to wonder if that had been the clock you heard all along or your own rhythmic countdown forecasting your demise.

You had to shake your head. You had to squeeze your eyes tight and push with all of your might. You couldn't face this. It was too hard.

“If not Ben—” he was speaking again. Your eyes were closed.

“Then why?” you heard an inhale of breath from him and it was trembling. The sound of his pain, the sound of his suffering called to you and you opened your eyes to look at him. His eyes were closed and he had a hand raised with his fingers held up.

The agitation you heard in his breathing moved him and his body came to life as he shifted on his feet, spinning in a slow circle where he stood, he lifted both of his hands to run through his hair and his eyes were closed up tight enough for his vision to go white.

“You can’t do this to me. You can’t do this to me again. It’s not fair.” He was speaking under his breath and you were drawn to his words as confusion rushed over your thoughtful mind. The part of your mind that made sense of things was left in a cloud.

Again? Had you really hurt him this badly before? Your memory raced through the history you had with him and you looked over his features in worry.

When his eyes opened back up he was looking into your face with that same dark look, the look that made you want to shrink up and hide from it. The look that somehow saw you for exactly what you were and knew just how bad of a person you could be.

“I’m trying to fix it — I don't know what to do, Baekhyun. I don't know what I should do.”

Your feet had carried you toward his door. You could feel the overwhelming urge to escape this. To escape your own mistakes and problems and run from them. To leave this place and to hide from the way he was looking at you right now. He was still just shaking his head and staring at you. He wasn’t moving to get showered or dressed or changed even, he wasn’t grabbing his keys or his phone to leave to go meet her, why didn’t he do something?

He must have noticed your movement. Baekhyun took several large steps toward where you’d wandered near his door and you froze when he moved.

He was upset. You could see it in the way he carried his body through the space and you heard it in the rough way he pulled at the doorknob to his bedroom and swung it open.

You’d half expected him to head toward the front door. Maybe he’d forgotten that he needed to change out of his comfy sweats if he was going to meet a girl for coffee.

He left his door open and you followed his quick steps. You followed the path he took through the living room and you turned when he turned toward your bedroom. You stood back as you watched his hand turn your door knob and he disappeared through your doorway, into your bedroom. You heard your closet. Your heart felt like it was throbbing inside of your chest when you saw him emerge with a familiar bag; your big suitcase, the one that was still stuffed full with your coats from the last time you had been convinced you needed to pack up and leave this place you called home.

You felt like you might be sick.

Did he want you to leave? Was he packing your bag for you? The panic that grew in your belly was powerful and it threw you back against the wall of the hallway that led to your bedroom.

This was it. He’d finally had enough of your shit. This was it.

You’d done it.

You’d lost your best friend.

Baekhyun had disappeared with your bag and you heard a door shut somewhere within his room. You heard the sound of a set of keys. There was a ringing in your ears.

“Tell me why.” His voice was back. He was back. He was standing in front of you and you looked up into his eyes and the breath he inhaled trembled as it went in and filled his lungs with air. He lifted a hand and his fingers shook as he rubbed them over his mouth. “You can’t run away now. I have your bag. Tell me why. Why did you do that?”

He’d gone for your bag first. Just as you had always gone for the bag the minute something snapped in you and you’d convinced yourself that you could simply leave if things got too uncomfortable or too hard to bear. It felt significant. It felt like your reckoning. You couldn't run away this time. He knew you would try that first and Baekhyun wasn’t going to let you; not until he had the truth.

“You always have a good reason. You always make sense — to me. You always make sense to me. Everything you do, I understand why you do it. But...this, it doesn’t make any sense. You’re the one who picked her. You’re the one who started this. You’re the one pushing me to go to her. Why did you do this? Why are you doing this to me? It’s so unfair.”  

Baekhyun’s voice was unstable. His hands were trembling and you could feel the deep frustration in his words. He was right. He was completely right.

No false explanation you could come up with would make any sense.

Only the truth made sense.

The humming in your ears and the burning in your eyes and the pounding in your chest had built up too much. It was too hard to control. It was too hard to contain.

The longer you sat in it; the longer you withstood it, the less you wanted of it.

You closed your eyes and you let it out.

It came out as a whisper.

“I told you, I was shameless.”

They hit you like a bomb. Those words that you spoke out loud to him; with your own mouth. Your own voice that betrayed you so completely.

The aftershocks echoed around inside of your head and you blinked fast and hard, trying to control the stinging wetness that pooled inside of your eyes.

Baekhyun had gone completely still.

You could no longer hear the unstable breathing from his lungs.

“What did you just say?” His voice had no strength left. You could not look at him.

Oh no.

You’d done it.

You had to inhale to live. You had to open your eyes and you rolled them around to keep the moisture at bay, looking everywhere except for him. You felt like crying. You felt like losing your flimsy control once and for all and screaming, sobbing, falling to the floor to deal with this incredible anxious feeling that was surging up inside of your body.

It was out. That secret of yours. It ripped you apart when it exited and you felt more unstable than you’d ever felt. You were about to cave in. Control was overrated anyway.

“I told you I act dumb and desperate and jealous, Baekhyun. I told you I make mistakes. I’m shameless.”

You heard the step he took. It was a stumble. Your words had thrown his balance off and he caught the step quickly. The sound of it pulled your focus.

Baekhyun looked at you, a stunned expression on his face and his eyes, his eyes which always held so much comfort and security for you, those eyes that were always so warm, they traveled over your entire face as his lips fell open.

“What does that mean?” His lips hardly moved when he spoke. You watched a hand lift and it landed squarely over his chest and there was a movement in his fingers; an involuntary shake in them. His fingers flexed and he clawed over his chest.

“Does that mean...do you mean...what I think you mean?”

You felt the first tear fall. It slipped out and ran down your face and you lifted a hand to wipe it quickly.

“It means I’m in love with you, Baekhyun. I’m sorry. I was jealous of her. I couldn't watch you and her like that. So I acted like that — I did that to her, to you both. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to stop loving you. I don't even know where to start.”

Your breathing was heavy. Your face was wet and whatever flimsy control you thought you had over yourself had shattered with your honest confession. More than just what you had done to him, this felt so much more damning. This was the truth about what was inside your heart.

This was the scariest thing you had ever told him. It felt so much worse than when you told him you’d lost your job and would start looking for a new place to live.

The silence that surrounded you amplified your labored breathing and you’d given up on catching the tears that slipped down your cheeks. There was no stopping it. You’d been a fool to think that you could hide this.

Baekhyun hadn’t moved. He stood frozen a few feet away from you and when he did move it was to lift a palm to cover over his face for a moment.

“Are you serious?” You heard him say. You swallowed hard and squeezed your eyes closed. “Bug, are you serious? You—”

“You’re in love with me?”

You wrapped your arms around your stomach tightly and with your eyes closed you nodded your head once.

Your ears caught movement.

Baekhyun was moving. Your fear and your shame flashed images into your mind, images of him vanishing; images of him closing himself up in his room; images of him telling you he just couldn't live with you any more.

Baekhyun was moving. You could hear him. Your eyes burned and begged to open and when you gave in you flinched to find him standing right in front of you. He was here. He stood in front of you and his eyes were wide on your face.

In those eyes you saw what you could only describe as a look of concern. Baekhyun was looking at your face and the warmth that arrived with his body heat coated you. Inside of your chest, something was building, something was burning, something was changing inside of you with the look in his eyes you could not pull your own eyes away from him when he was standing so close to you like this.

The wall behind your back was so cold and he was warm.

He was moving. His hands were moving. You felt the warmth of his palms land over your wet cheeks and he was wiping your tears, drying the wetness from your skin with the palms of his hands and with his soft fingertips. He moved so gently over you. He touched you so carefully. The pounding inside of your chest raged out of control. The ragged breathing that had ahold of you earlier seized up and you could feel the dizziness building upon itself, yet you could not make your lungs cooperate; not with him so close to you. Not with him looking at you up close with that look in his eyes and his hands still holding your face.

“LoveBug.” His whispered breath warmed your mouth. The soft name he called you coated the back of your tongue like some sweetened medicine. You swallowed down the moisture that pooled and he was close enough to you that his breathing fanned against your lips, over your tongue when your lips parted.

“Do you know that I belong to you?” It came out as a whisper. This tiny question that lit you on fire. Your lungs burned.

“Do you know that?”

You felt another tear escape and he leaned into you then. You felt too stunned to react. This did not feel real. Perhaps you had actually fallen asleep last night and you were dreaming. The warm brush of his thumb below your eye, wiping the wetness away again and again as the tears fell. The warm puff of his breath over your closed eyelid and the softness of his lips that pressed a kiss onto the softness of your cheek where your tears had just been dried.

“I belong to you. I’m yours. I’ve loved you for so long.”

These words he said pulled your eyes into his.

The discord in your brain echoed. How was this real? Nothing was making sense inside of your head, so you exhaled through it. You let your lungs deflate and the final bursts of air that left your lungs pulled your eyelids down halfway and you couldn’t stand the distance, you had to touch him. His hands were so warm and his eyes were so magnetic and what was he saying to you? He loved you.

He loved you.

Baekhyun loved you. He said so himself. He said he was yours and he’d gone still again, his breathing stopped puffing over your skin when your hands reached for his waist and you gripped around his shirt, bunching the fabric as you pulled. There was a step, to keep his balance and he moved closer to you.

Warmth. Heat. He was everywhere. That smell of him; the scent of the spaces within his bedsheets that smelled like him, his breath, his lungs, his heart inside of his body. With the contact of your hands around his waist you could feel so much of him. When your hands traveled up over the center of this back you felt the wild beating echoing inside of his chest.

It sounded a lot like what was happening inside of your own chest.

The distance evaporated with your hands on him. You felt the softness of his cheek against your own. You heard the quiet grunt from the back of his throat when the tip of his nose brushed over yours and his lips traveled over your entire face. Over the smoothness of your forehead and a path over your eyebrow; up the hill of your cheekbone and down through the softness of your cheek. He was exploring your face with his lips and the spell he put you under was deep. You would have floated away had it not been for the occasional labored puff of air from his parted lips. A mark of his struggle to keep his breathing under control. The man was magic.

His touch was so light and delicate you wondered how he could stand this with as fast as his heart was beating inside of his chest. His hands were moving away from the way he cupped your cheeks and caught stray tears, he moved a single hand to the back of your head, moving lower to cradle the back of your neck and his other hand traced the shape of your jaw with lightly touching fingertips until he reached your lips.

With his eyes half closed and with zero hesitation he moved then. You felt him move. Your eyes were already closed when you felt his lips cover yours.

It began with softness; that same uncertain, wary softness that led his movements. His kiss was gentle and his lips were asking.

The question was quiet.

Your response was not. Your hands pulled hard over his back. His chest was flush with yours already but the constriction of your hold on him sent a clear message.

When your lips parted to his you felt the wetness of his tongue brush against yours and you pulled against him, pulled him into your mouth and the hold of his hand behind your head changed as his grip tightened and his fingers threaded within your hair.

His other hand slipped around your waist and he pulled you tight against his firm warmth. Everything about the kiss was changing. There was an urgency that took over every cell of your body and you were feeling dizzy and when his lips pulled away for a second, you gasped for air from within his parted lips. You could not break the kiss. You could survive inside of his mouth forever. You didn’t even need air that badly.

Baekhyun did not break the contact either. Your desire for closeness was building further and your hands pushed the warm fleece of his sweater up and away from his skin. You felt the first smooth warm bits of the bare skin of his waist and your own skin erupted all over with goosebumps when you felt the tips of his fingers slip under the fabric of your shirt at the small of your back.

It was your own wandering hands that did it. You touched first, the small of his back, then your hand wandered around his waist, as you made your way around to the front of him you heard the low whine that erupted from deep within his body. It was a long frustrated sound and the sound of it pulled your lips into a smile.

Your fingertips were close. You know enough about human anatomy to know that slipping your hand along the waistband at the front of his sweatpants and hooking your index finger just inside the fabric as you moved; well, it was only a matter of time until you were brushing below his navel and you felt Baekhyun jolt back and away from you when you’d done it.

“Fuck,” he cursed with his lips flush against yours and you couldn’t help any of it. He’d put you well under his spell and you wanted every bit of the man. Clearly your hand had come too close and he wasn’t expecting it.

“This is like living out all of my fantasies at once multiplied by a hundred. I don’t think I can take this.”

Baekhyun pulled his face back and away from you then. You used the respite to finally breathe in a deep enough breath to touch that dizziness you’d been feeling. It didn't help much. Was it the desire? You had never felt quite so desperate for another human being to touch you before.

You ached for it. The attention he showed with his wandering fingertips over every bit of skin he could find and the way his eyes and his lips touched you. Nothing about the desire you were feeling felt normal.

Baekhyun dropped a hand from you. It was the hand that had held the back of your neck. He took another step back and placed his hand over his chest. He was looking at you again with a shell shocked expression on his face and lips very pink and swollen from the passion you’d felt in those kisses.

“I feel like my heart is going to explode.” He said and you saw his lips pull into a smile. He was still breathing hard and his gaze changed into something of wonder.

“You like me.” His eyes closed up and the smile pulled wider. You were blinded by it. It was contagious. You could not stop your own smile from mirroring his. “You love me. She fucking loves me.”

“I love you,” you agreed softly. It tasted like relief. It was sweet and satisfying and toothsome. You were wrecked. You probably looked like hell after the sleepless night and all of that crying. He watched you as if you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever laid eyes on. You could see it so clearly. Your eyes sharpened to so much the more you looked around, the clearer your focus became and your eyes were drawn to the wall behind his head.

There, a clock had just struck one.

“What do we do about Mia,” you were the one to say it and still hated the sour taste of the guilt that still sat on the back of your tongue when her name came up. You hadn’t quite considered this outcome. You hadn’t ever considered this.

“Oh god, Mia,” he said. “Oh no.” The smile on his face was gone and you could see the regret land over his features. “I — I think I need to go make a phone call.”

He spoke the words and you nodded your head. Of course he did. Of course you understood completely. Of course his body was still very close to you and of course you could feel the desire to pull him back into your arms and into your mouth.

Baekhyun hadn’t stepped back yet. His words said one thing yet his hands were moving again and he reached for you, wrapping both of his arms around your waist this time he pulled tight and you felt the strength in his arm muscles as he did it.

His face dipped and he kissed you again. You could not resist his lips despite the ticking clock. You craved him. You hadn’t been nearly satisfied enough yet and you wondered if you could ever get enough of him.

His soft lips; the pull of suction inside of his mouth; his tongue; his teeth all demanded and took from you and you wove your fingers into his hair and held him tight as you kissed him back.

You both pulled away at the same time and his labored breathing marked the significant struggle he was facing in letting go and walking away. You did not think it was possible to love this man any more than you already did, but this unrestrained side of him was making your stomach do flips.

“Do you want me to go with you? This is my fault after all.”

He rested his forehead against yours and both of his arms were still wrapped tightly around your waist. He’d been standing still with both of his eyes closed since he’d pulled his mouth away from yours.

You felt him shake his head back and forth and he hummed a no sound from the back of his throat.

“I think I can do it alone,” he said before inhaling a deep breath and exhaling it slowly as he pulled his face back, straightened his shoulders and dropped his arms.

He’d spun on his feet and taken two steps before he turned around and undid all of his progress with two more big steps back in your direction and a grimace of failure on his face.

His hands were up and he was reaching for you again, grabbing you roughly by the cheeks, ignoring the giggles that erupted from your chest as he leaned in and kissed you again. He was smiling too and the first seconds of the kiss was just teeth bumping teeth before you complied and relaxed enough to receive the quick succession of peppered kisses he pressed into your mouth.

“How can I walk away? Turn me around and push me. I can’t walk away from you.”

You were in big trouble. You knew he could be really cute if he wanted to be. You’d had trouble with it in the past.

But this time his intense level of adorableness was caused by his struggle to stop kissing you. You were pretty certain you were even more whipped than you’d ever been for anything ever. If faced with the choice of denying this man or throwing a bag full of puppies off a cliff, you were pretty certain you’d toss the damn dogs just to let this Baekhyun have his way.

How to be the strong one here? All you wanted to do was keep kissing him forever.

“Baekhyun, it’s after one already,” you said, doing your best impression of your serious voice.

“Yes ma’am.” His hands left your face and his lips pulled back into an O shape as he exhaled a breath with his eyes trained pointedly on the ceiling instead of on your face.

This time when he spun on his feet he didn’t look back and you fisted your hands tightly at your side to keep from reaching for him and pulling him back into you after he’d finally built up the strength to resist the incredible magnetism you both clearly had for each other.

His absence afforded you a moment of quiet; a moment of peaceful thought. The aftereffects of what had just happened still buzzed around inside of your chest, inside your belly, and lower; the lingering warmth purred, making it impossible to ignore the incredible effect even this much of his affection had on you.

You had to return to your bedroom to collect yourself. You’d never be able to face him again without throwing yourself at him in desperation and based on the way he’d flinched when you grazed your fingertip along the waistband of his sweatpants, something was telling you the man was simply not ready for such a huge step in such a short amount of time.

The last thing you wanted was to make him feel pressured to do anything he wasn't ready for.

You were an adult. You could be reasonable and you could control yourself.

With a cold shower and a cold drink of water you could survive this. Maybe you would slip and fall in the shower and bang your head and wake up to him giving you mouth to mouth with his hands on your chest giving you life saving chest compressions that would turn into a steamy make out session with some second base heavy petting in the middle of your bathroom floor. One thing could lead to another. You would already be naked and he’d have just saved your life. Surely the situation would make anyone emotional enough to pop their cherry with the girl of their fucking dreams. Really, he’d have just saved your life and you would be ever so grateful if he could also fuck you while he was at it.

The cold water didn’t help at all.

The cold shower at least helped with the absolute wreck you saw when you looked in the mirror. Had you really looked this bad? You hadn’t slept for shit. You hadn’t eaten your sad floppy toast or had any coffee on your upset stomach and your eyes were puffy from all the crying. You must have simply forgotten that you had any hair at all. It looked exactly like it must have looked when you crawled out from the depths of your bed. At this point you wouldn't be surprised to find some leaves or sticks tangled within the rat’s nest.

At least you hadn’t been wearing any makeup on your eyes to create dramatic black streaks down your cheeks, but a little lipstick or blush on your cheeks might have helped some. Anything would have helped. While you confessed your love to this beautiful man you looked like something scraped off the front grill of a semi truck after a 12 hour haul.

You took a few extra moments after your shower to fix whatever you could. It was a delicate balance. You didn't want to make it obvious that you’d gone through the trouble to make yourself super sexy and appealing looking, but you also couldn't just go back out there looking homeless and lost.

You settled for something in between. Something natural and clean looking on your face. Something pretty smelling on your freshly scrubbed skin and you made your way toward your closet wearing your favorite matching bra and panties set.

There was a little lace and just enough push to make your boobs look hot, but still in a neutral enough color that gave a cool and casual ‘oh this ol’ thing?’ feeling should the opportunity for him to actually see it somehow manifested.

Your real dilemma came as you stood in front of your closet.

Did you really need to wear pants? Couldn’t you just prance around your living room in your thinnest white t-shirt and pick things up off the floor that you’d clumsily knocked off the table or the bookshelf or the kitchen counter?

You compromised, picking out a short flouncy skirt and flowy top that liked to fall off the shoulder at inconvenient times and you practically ran out of your room hoping you hadn’t left him stewing in his post difficult phone call mood for too long.

On your way out of your room a familiar piece of paper stuck to the wood caught your eye and you took a step back to look up at the sign you’d hung there a few weeks ago. You tried to be casual about it. You tried your best to be quiet as you carefully lifted the tape that clung to the surface of the door and the paper rattled and crinkled noisily as you pulled. You heard the telltale sounds of paper ripping in half when you pulled. You’d forgotten to carefully lift the tape you put on the sides and the whole thing made quite a racket coming down. So much for discretion.

You were crumbling the whole mess into a tight ball inside your hands as you walked toward the living room and you caught movement on the sofa.

Baekhyun was sitting there it’s his eyes on your hallway, clearly looking up when he heard you coming. His hands were linked over his lap and he was leaning forward, resting on his forearms.

The instinct to hide it was strong and you saw the dip of Baekhyun’s eyes down to your hands and he looked at the ball of paper you hid inside your fist.

He’d just caught you. You’d ripped off your ‘No Boners’ sign from your door and Baekhyun had seen you do it. Now he was looking away from you and his eyes were wide as he stared across the room, looking anywhere that wasn’t at you. His face was tense. His lips were pulled tight and after a few seconds of blank staring he lifted his left hand to cover over his mouth a moment after you saw his white teeth flash with a wide smile and he closed his eyes up. A single snort of laughter escaped from him before he reeled it in and held his breath to stop it.

You had to save it. You had to be casual, dammit. You looked fucking cute right now and this man was in love with you and you loved him too and — God, his hair was wet. He was wearing a plain black t-shirt and jeans and everything about him looked casual and beautiful, you were staring. You were staring. You had to stop staring. You had to do something to save this.

You stuffed the paper ball into your pocket and took enough steps to reach the counter of the kitchen bar and you stuck an arm out and leaned against it.

You leaned because leaning was ultra casual and you also thought you might drop from the tension you were feeling inside your body right now if you relied only on your own two legs to hold you up.

How could absolutely none of the effects of your cooling shower have lasted the second you saw him again?

“Hi,” you said as you fought an embarrassed smile and the leaning felt so forced you closed your eyes to will your own face to un-flush.

Baekhyun dropped his hand from his face and his cheeks were pink to match his lips. He was smiling wide, clearly amused by your nonsense. You saw his chest shaking as he laughed and he lifted his hand and bit down on his closed fist. The laughter did not last long. He was looking at you though and his wide smile evened out when he dropped his hand. His eyes did not drop from your face. Not right away. You caught the drift when they did though and the heat you felt increased when you noticed the slow way he took you in from the glimpse of your bare shoulder down to the shortness of your skirt and down the length of your bare legs. His eyebrow danced once over his left eye and his tongue peaked out to moisten his lips before he bit down on the bottom one.

“Hi Bug,” he said.

Well, this was new.

...

[To Be Continued]

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 , Part 8 , Part 9 , Part 10 , FINAL Part 10.5

Tag list: @j-pping  @blahblahblah-boo  @his-mochi-cheeks  @amyeonzing@littleflowercrown13  @baekinmylife  @insta1010  @nana-banana  @f4ncyvelvet@bbhbeth  @totallynerdstuff  @byunbabybaek @maijinki @bbyunz@theclawofaraven @kingkushdealer  @uhobob @baekswifey @punchmebaekhyun @xlxbaekhyuneex @sorrowinblood @catseohyun @rossemayme @pastelsweaters-and-bubble-t @marovekian1 @versaexact

[superhero--imagines]

Part 12

Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here! / Part 7 Here! / Part 8 Here! / Part 9 Here! / Part 10 Here! / Part 11 Here!

* You stare at the blank ceiling, the smooth unblemished surface like freshly fallen snow

* you should really put some nudie posters up there or something to lighten the mood a little. 

* Light notes from the piano float around your room

* You sigh, so these are the facts as you know them:

* Edward is your best friend who has occasional bouts of brooding and flirtatious behavior.

* Bella is not albino, she has a lovely peach undertone, and a lovely grilled peach scent

* The entire coven has treated your attraction to this young lady’s blood like you got caught masturbating or wetting the bed or something

* “You don’t need to be embarrassed it’s a perfectly natural feeling.” Esme tells you while rubbing your shoulders

* “We’ve all been there” Rosalie reassures

* “Totally not a big deal, it happens to me everyday!” Jasper chimes in

* You wish sunlight hurt you so you could combust into flames on the spot

* The piano notes get louder, and you feel your mouth pinch into a frown.

* “Oh my god Edward! Read the room, I want brooding music!”

* Edward stops, up until then he had been playing a pretty cheerful Mozart piece

* You can tell he wants to ask why, you’ve been radiating joy non-stop since biology. But he decides against it

* “You really shouldn’t eat lying down.” He says as you sip blood while lying flat on your bed.

* “Okay dad.” You snort

* Edward starts to imagine what it would be like if you called him ‘daddy’

* All needy on top of him, your hands curled in fists against his chest, the breathy “daddy please” that leaves your mouth

* All of a sudden he’s ugly turned on

* “Ugh you’re no fun, I’m going to hang out with Rosalie”

* You leave the room and Edward has a total meltdown, is this what a kink is? Is he discovering a kink?!? At 100 years of age?!?!?!?

* Edward.exe is broken

* You don’t even make it to Rosalie’s room, you can smell them a mile away

* Broccoli, sugar and fat, and axe body spray. No peaches you realize with a sigh.

* They’ve only just barely rung the door bell when you open the door

* “Hey what are you guys doing here?”

* Jessica’s standing in front, looking pretty at ease, while Mike and Angela look equally uncomfortable.

* Makes sense, Jessica’s here all the time now either for homework or to watch TV.

* Mike and Angela haven’t been back since your sweet sixteen

* “How did you get down here so fast?”

* “I saw your car from upstairs” you say with a sheepish smile.

* You wish Alice would have given you a heads up, you weren’t planning on pretending to be human right now. Still you probably look raggedy enough right now in sweatpants and an oversized sweatshirt

* You can probably pull this sick thing off

* “We just wanted to check up on you, I heard from Mike and Angela you got sick during class.” And then in a more annoyed tone Jessica adds “And I guess you’re too sick to respond to all my texts and calls”

* Oh crap, where is your phone.

* You pat your pockets, and think when you saw it last

* “I left it in my locker” you smack your head. You told Edward to go grab your bag from class but you forgot your phone.

* “Hey don’t worry about it, I can get it for you tomorrow if you want.” Jessica rushes to your side and pats your arm. You shake your head

* “No I can get it myself, I’m fine I just ate something bad.” You mumble.

* You’re not missing school tomorrow. You would literally risk murder to smell Bella again.

* It’s not insatiable thirst like described in the books, more like a craving, like someone might have for nachos.

* It itches at you for a while, but if you just distract yourself long enough you can move on

* “Would you like to come in? I think Esme just baked cookies or scones or something.”

* Esme likes to bake for the smell and donate the food to the local shelter. That, or take it for her employees at her architectural firm in town.

* Firm is a loose word, she has maybe four employees, and they get one job a month, but it seems to make her happy.

* Angela and Mike give each other looks but Jessica perks up

* “Is she making those delicious earl grey scones again?” You sniff the air

* “I think she made some of that orange zest butter too”

* “Omg I am so happy you left your phone at school” Jessica giggles walking inside past you, you hear her greet Esme with a squeal

* “They really are good.” You tell them and your remaining human friends enter the house carefully

* “Soooo where is everyone?” Mike asks taking a look around your living room.

* “Ummm Rosalie’s in the garage, Alice is probably meditating on the roof, Emmett’s at swim practice, and Jasper’s probably at the barn.”

* “What about Edward?” Angela asks before Mike can ask about the barn

* Last you saw him he was playing the piano in your room, but it’s been a while since then

* “He’s probably in his room monologuing about the degradation of the American dream or something.”

* You lead them into the kitchen where Esme and Jessica are already deep in conversation about the wonder of her baking

* “-side is so light and fluffy, how do you get the tea flavor though”

* “Witchcraft.” Esme jokes, giving a full smile before putting another tray in the oven. Only Jessica laughs, the other two are too nervous to even sit down

* “Why don’t I teach you how when you come over next week.”

* Yeah you’re pretty sure Jessica is really only a fan of the “eating” and not of the “baking”

* You’re half surprised when she seems happy at the invitation. 

* “Oh that sounds great, I can’t wait for it!” Jessica’s practically beaming

* Where’s Edward when you need him? You wonder what her motivations are. 

* Jasper is not going to like this. He’s already irritated enough that he’s kicked out of his own house every Friday when Jessica comes over to watch arrested development

* Before you can say anything to Esme the conversation moves forward

* “Did you guys hear about that security guard that died in Mason county?”

* She’s just making small talk, you know that. But you and Esme instantly tense at the mention

* Carlisle had mentioned he thought there was a nomad wandering through, they were still far enough not to cause the coven immediate trouble, but anything that brought more attention to them was a disadvantage

* “My Dad says he heard from Chief Swan it was probably a wild animal attack” Mike mumbles over a bite of scone, you figured he would be the easiest to win over with food

* You hide a smile behind your hand, he really is like a golden retriever

* “What kind of a wild animal climbs stairs into a building” Jessica mumbles over another bite of scone. And maybe to fit in, or maybe because she’s always been a nervous eater, Angela takes a bite too.

* “Oh wow, these are really good” she murmurs

* Esme Cullen ladies and gentleman, winning the hearts of teenagers with baked goods since 19XX

* “Well you kids stay safe, stay together if you can.” She pats your head and you nod.

* You don’t know the details of the attack, you get the feeling Carlisle still see’s you as a kid and he doesn’t want to burden you.

* But assuming the small changes that have happened have nothing to do with the large changes, that means Laurent, James and Victoria will be passing through soon.

* Maybe it’s for the best Bella doesn’t get involved with Edward until later.

* You’d really like to not get all mixed up in the whole “James Thing” if you can help it.

* “Are you staying for dinner? I’m thinking of whipping up some pasta, maybe a chicken?” Esme looks to you, yeah you have no idea how she’s going to manage that. Besides the baking basics there’s no actually food in this kitchen. And the one upstairs is just for your blood bags.

* “(Y/N), do you think...Carlisle would mind if we used one of... his chickens?”

* His chickens? The only chickens in the house-

* “No Esme! My chickens are only for love and chicken snuggles” and their blood which tastes very leans yet rich. “Not to eat!”

* “It would just be one-we’ll eat your least favorite!”

* You’re really hoping this is her way of chasing the humans out because she doesn’t want to cook.

* “No- oh my god- we’re going to the diner come on!” You say tugging Jessica and Angela to stand.

* “It was great seeing you again Mrs. Cullen, see you next week!” Jessica shouts as the three of them follow you out.

* “Going out? Is that such a good idea it’s late and a school night.” Edward says as he descends down the stairs

* “Oh my god, yes Dad I’ll be home before my curfew.” You say before leaving, cue Edward crumbling onto the stairs as he imagines you calling him “daddy” again

* “I’m going to hell, I’m definitely going to hell.” He mumbles, his face in his hand.

* It’s a really short drive to the diner, also known as the only place to eat in Forks in the mid 2000’s. 

*There’s not even a McDonald’s. It’s almost sad

* And when you get there, while everyone moves ahead to the table you see a familiar face.

* “Oh, Hey Bella”

* Your eyes met and you figured it would be rude not to say anything. It looks like she’s here having dinner with her Dad. 

*She really does look like her dad, same eyes, same cheekbones.

* “Nice to see you again Chief Swan”

* “Nice to see you too, how’s Carlisle doing? Heard it’s been busy at the hospital.”

* “Yeah, it’s like he doesn’t sleep anymore.” You grin at your own joke.

* “Are you feeling alright now?” Bella asks, she looks genuinely concerned

* “Yeah, I um, made some questionable food choices at lunch.”

* There’s an awkward moment of silence. You get the impression that Chief Swan and his daughter are both the “strong silent” types.

* It looks like they’ve both finished eating already

* If you had known she was going to be here you would have made Edward come with you. 

* “Oh hey, do you want to join us for dinner?” It just seems like the friendly thing to do for the new girl, something on-brand with human character

* Definitely not because if you get on her good side now, maybe she won’t kick you out once her and Edward get married. 

*Father and daughter exchange a glance and the familiar connection they have makes you nervous. 

*“Of course you don’t have to, I know you’re here with your dad so-“

* “I’m sure Bella would love to join-“ Charlie says at the same time Bella says:

* “Wouldn’t it be kind of weird since I already ate.”

* Ah, so they’re not as in sync as you thought. 

* You give your best “Golden Girl - You can totally trust me with your daughter” smile.

* “I’m actually not eating either,” you place a hand over your stomach like a human might. “The uh, Clam Linguine is still haunting me, so I’m sticking to broth and sprite.”

* Why did you say Clam? You don’t even eat meat, it’s how you’ve been getting away with eating so little at lunch. 

* “not a lot of vegetarian choices” You say to your human friends who nod solemnly. 

* Father and Daughter exchange another look likening telepathic communication and they both move to stand

* “I’m going to finish up some paperwork at the precinct, don’t stay out to late.” Charlie says, leaning down to kiss his daughter on the forehead

* You watch with warm eyes and a small smile twitching onto your lips

* Bella is so loved.

* You can’t believe she’s willing to break her dad’s heart just so she can be 19 forever.

* Which, as you are 19 forever, you can fairly say is overrated

* “Hey guys Bella’s joining us.”

* Your female friends offer her a polite smile, you see Angela gaze flick from the menu to Bella’s face. Silently calculating the worth of this opportunity

* Any intel on this new girl would be pretty valuable

* Same old Angela

* Mike sits up straight so fast that he actually knocks his silverware off the table.

* “H-hey Bella, Hi, w-what, what are you doing here?”

* “Eating.” Bella says it so bluntly that you can’t help but laugh.

* Mike flushes bright red and Jessica and Angela exchange a look before giggling.

* “I thought it would be cool if she came over since I didn’t get to talk to her much.” You take a seat next to Jessica and Bella follows by taking the last seat between you and Mike.

* You still catch whiffs of her scent her and there, especially when she’s sitting so close to you.

* But it’s not so bad, the peachy smell is making you a little lightheaded, but you can handle it.

* At least you’re not fantascizing about killing her and everyone in this room like a certain dork you know.

* “Do you guys want to do that promotion where we get the basket of fries for the table?” Jessica asks

* “I don’t like sharing fries with Mike he eats them all.” Angela mumbles

* Yeah you remember last time when after a football game the three of them actually sat down and divided the plate in three equal portions

* They even measured out each fry dividing up the extra long ones 

* “Says the person who basically eats ketchup with a spoon.” Mike retorts and Angela scoffs

* “It’s America’s best condiment for a reason Mike.” Angela snaps back

* “I think we’re getting off track, I say Mike buys us all french fries to make up for all the times he hogged the joint basket” Jessica’s teasing but Mike takes it seriously

* “What so I’m a French fry monster now?”

* “Yes” Both Angela and Jessica respond in unison without looking up from their menu cards

* “What do you think Bella?” You’re surprised that Jessica’s the one asking. You get the feeling she’s not very happy about Mike’s crush on Bella.

* “I think Mike should buy everyone their own basket since he has such a bad history with sharing.”

* “You traitor!” Mike mocks hurt and you all laugh.

* You look at Bella through the corner of your eye, maybe it’s just the lighting but she looks pinker when she’s laughing.

* She looks happy as she starts contributing to the conversation.

* “I will say the pie here is really good, I wouldn’t share even if someone paid me to.”

* “Omg yes, the cheery icebox pie is out of this world” Jessica responds

* “I’m partial to chess pie” Mike pipes in and Angela laughs

* “You guys are crazy, the fruit custard they make is the best”

* You grin as your four new friends argue about the superior dessert, watching Bella laugh beside you.

* Welcome to team human Bella

Tags:  @moonlights27 @thebluetint @the100thtwilight @awesomebooklover17 @oneofthepotterheads @smileygirl08 @imdoingathingmom @iconicgguk @yrawn @alyciaswhore @little-horror-show @wicked-watering-can @lazydreamers @xxxmuxxx @puritanicalhypocrite

[dreamii-yume]

SPOILERSSS for Twisted Wonderland Chapter 6 : 1-16!!!

*rubs hands* aight it wont take long before genshin has me in its gacha hell grasp again, I just barely escaped this time— NOW ITS TIME TO SEE THE BOIS CHAPTER 6 omg— wtf happened last time lol it’s been too long

So, no voice over because of some problems which is understandable but— meh I don’t feel like reading lol So I’m watching otome ayui translations this time, because im that one dumbass student who skipped kanji class and now i cant read without sounding like im five _:(´ཀ`」 ∠): “what up im yume im way passed 19 and i never fucking learned how to read”

Also watching Hanayura Kanon stream for the rest that’s not yet been translated lol Because he’s very good at voice acting for the characters and he’s funny af lol

- OKAY OKAY— WTF HAPPENED EXPLAIN

- Fun fact : I haven’t watched Hercules yet so I legit don’t know what’s about to come lol

- Aw, that’s cute— We called over Ace and Deuce late at night AND THEY REALLY CAME OVER AAAAA

- I forgot how fckin pure their friendship is _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

- Aight, so we actually have a huge-ass scratch from feral Grim lol That’s just fantastic, isn’t it

- FINALLY— We’re talking about Mickey and the stones my monster cat has been eating with Crowley AAAAA

- “Yeah there’s this bitch called mickey and i took his photo—“

- WE’RE FINALLY TALKING ABOUT THIS. AFTER 6 CHAPTERS.

- Bruh this crystal of blot sounds really dangerous why are we discussing this just now

- Speaking of this crystal, Crowley— you were looking for this crystal in chap one and when we asked you about wtf you’re trying to find you just went— “oH itS NothING.”

- I SUPPOSED ITS NOT NOTHING NOW IS IT

- I didnt see you searching for crystals after every chapter mr. crowley where were you 👁👄👁 dont you think it was weird that you didnt see a single one after like— five blotting incidents

- Oh so its rare i see— BRUH R U SURE ABOUT THAT grim literally found one every single chap LMAO

- Okay okay— see, he may be violent but listen— you aint gonna throw out my fucking cat okay

- Wh— THERE WAS A FESTIVAL!? Im dumb so its not just VDC LOL

- Listen LISTEN— GRIM IS FINE. HOLD UP— NO NEED TO THROW HIM OUT JUST LET ME HAVE ANOTHER LOOK AT HIM

- Aww, Ace and Deuce looked pissed about it too AAAAHH THE TRUE DEFINITION OF THE BOIS

- BRUH NO— ALL THE DORM LEADERS TO GO AND CAPTURE GRIM?? HE’LL DIE

- CROWLEY PLS— WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS, HONEY

- #Grimportectionsquad

- “It’s bout time for them to come” Who?

- FUCKING— CROWLEY STOP SAYING ITS NOTHING— This is why this school is so fucked, you never tell us anything ahead of time _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

- Aight he left, Ace Deuce hurry help me what you guys got

- He may be a monster but see— the worst he did is eat the whole tuna stack SO PLS HES STILL BABY AND I LOVE HIM

- THATS RIGHT DEUCE MY MAN GRIM CAN DO NO BAD I SWEAR

- HE WOULDNT EVER AGAIN I SWEAR

- Ace ヽ(；▽；)ノ The character development— im so proud of you, son

- THIS IS THE BOISSS— LETS GOOOO

- Fuck this is so beautiful— just me and the bois on our way in the middle of the night to find our MISSING CAT I—

- CROWLEY REALLY DID ASSEMBLE THEM DORM LEADERS AAAAAAA AT THIS HOUR TOO WTF

- BRUH WE CAN TALK

- Kalim Kalim Kalim Vil Vil Vil— Pls we’ve been through so much last chapter ＨＥＬＰ

- Leona…A big fat ｍｏｏｄ honestly lmao

- Ey ey riddle pls— dont make this any more difficult—

- Shut up azul stay where u are all you’ve done is nothing but chaos since you arrive so SHHH

- MALLEUS IS NOT HERE AGAIN LILIA PLS— where is he when we need him the most LOL

- Ortho, your bro where?? Also— SURVIVAL STATUS BRUH—

- YES PLS DONT HURT HIM OMG

- oh i forgot idia lives in his tablet LOL OF COURSE

- Omg he’s in the apple trees still looking scary as shi aaaaaaa pls kitty come home u just had too much catnip

- OH GOD 15m HE’S CLOSE

- “Starting operation” ORTHO WHAT TF

- EY EY EY oh good he’s knocked out sighhh

- Aight I know this has been translated but I can’t help but to look at the original japanese and im just— wtf is RTS and TAS idia i dont understand this advanced gamer otaku language

- But Idia and Ortho really do be speedrunning on who can fucking kick my cat the hardest LOL

- THATS RIGHT IDIA You understand me— Fellow cat lovers unite, Grim is very cute, he can’t do no bad

- …so can i have him back pls—

- Can we just appreciate the fact that these bois are willing to take the risk of getting their heads chopped off by Riddle by doing all this for us??

- If this isnt what you call true friendship then i dont know what this is

- Lol ambrose is going to appear in this festival again and crowley’s prideful ass is QUAKING

- WHY are we not allowed to see him crowley im sure we can handle it— We’re the BOIS. CMON

- Imagine if they just summon a fcuking— magic vet or something lol

- It’s the next day lol

- HAH ITS THE VDC LOSERS BY ONE VOTE SQUAD

- I mean the NRC Tribe— ٩( ᐛ )و

- VIL. what you have my queen

- Vil pls dont remind me that my cat isnt here but thank you for saying thank you i do not deserve—

- AWW THE ADEUCE SQUAD LOOKS SO SAD AAAAA

- Vil i miss the bad bitch but absolute oneesan energy but the apology— yeah are we gonna cry again lol

- AAAAAAHH why am i so proud— THAT vil is apologizing

- You dont need to maam what we had in chapter 5 was a fucking journey i regret nothing

- I swear if rook goes like— bitch that aint beautiful imma bonk him I WILL DO IT dont think i forgot what u did last chap

- Man i love me a man who can openly admit his mistakes MMMGH

- Rook i swear—

- Im glad that we’re not toning down ace’s brutal honesty lol

- BRUHHH I DONT LIKE IT WHEN VIL US TAKING ALL THE BLAME i mean what he said was kinda true BUT STILL

- Cheer up Vil, it’s not like it’s a complete failure anyways (；ω；) it was fun at least

- Hearing Jamil encourage Vil like this feels surreal BUT YES BOI U TELL EM

- What is this beautiful character development

- Ooff way to hit where it hurts the most vil my queen lol

- AAGH IT HURTS VIL RECOGNIZING NEIGE’S HARDWORK LIKE THIS— THE PRIDE I CAN FEEL IT ＣＲＡＣＫ

- Bruh we appreciate Neige’s impeccable smile in this household— REMEMBER WHEN EVERYONE WAS LIKE NEIGE’S GON BE A BAD BOI??? WELP—

- It was me, i was that person and i shall drown in apple juice for it

- Of course, the ultimate Neige simp already knows that lol

- Bruh the background music has no business being this sad　ｓｔｏｐ

- I hate it when vil is right sometimes omg— TRUEEE KALIM especially wouldn’t be able to stand properly on stage after knowing Neige’s own hardships aaaa

- NOO BABY DONT CRY

- Vil redemption arc??? 👀👀 you can help us cure our cat—

- !? Are we gonna get that money promised in that poster?? 👀👀

- WHAA FUCKING WAHAA VIL IS GONNA PAY THAT US??? THE WHOLE 5 MIL EACH??!! VIL CALM DOWN WHAT I SAID WAS A JOKE

- Damn vil is ＳＴＡＣＫＥＤ He really didnt want to owe anyone anything LMAO YES QUEEN

- WHA— KALIM IS ACCEPTING??? OUT OF EVERYONE HERE, I DID NOT EXPECT YOU TO ACCEPT THAT KALIM

- Kalim is making my heart go boom boom again baby boi ✨👁💧👄💧👁✨✨

- HE’LL DONATE IT TO THE RAMSHACKLE DORM BABY BOIIII

- …sumimasen kalim for having a very rundown dorm 👁💧👄💧👁 but thank you for being nice about it lol

- OKAY OKAY KALIM YOU DONT HAVE TO LIST ALL THE THINGS WRONG IN MY DORM PLS—

- THIS IS EMBARRASSING PLS KALIM IM SORRY FOR BEING POOR

- But this man be such a sunshine holy shit i cant even be mad about it lol

- AW YEAH RAMSHACKLE DORM IS GONNA GET A MAKEOVER

- EVERYONE BE DONATING THEIR MONEY TO US AAAAA Were they always this NICE

- Aight adeuce pls— y’all dont have to force yourself to donate my guys (´；ω；`) being friends is enough lol i get it my bois

- Find me a man who can make me feel like this the way Vil can

- Man if only Grim is here :’) he’d be soo happy :’)) you can have all the tuna you want buddy :’)))

- GRIM PLS ADEUCE IS WILLING TO TREAT YOU TO LUNCH BABY

- Bro this is so wholesome omg

- Im sorry but still up to this day, my understanding of Epel’s accent is still　ｌａｃｋｉｎｇ lmao

- Aight they be talking about how Rook already knew that they were going to lose from the very beginning

- The FORESHADOWING LOL The difference with how Rook said “What a wonderful performance” rather than “What a beautiful performance” sigh

- Honestly we gotta respect Rook’s resolve here lol man just knows what he wants

- Rook and Vil’s friendship lmao

- 👁👄👁 …!?

- EARTHQUAKE WTF How dare you ruin such moment—

- WHAT IS GOING ON

- EY WTF DONT DESTROY MY DORM WTF ARE YOU GUYS

- WHAT ARE THESE ROBOTS OUTSIDERS KILL THEM WITH FIRE

- They look like something that belongs to the Ignihyde dorm HUH

- Oh bruh— Vil in his Dorm Leader mode is so cool AND YES I KNOW THIS IS NOT THE TIME BUT wheww~~ Vil YAS QUEEN

- KALIM TOO AAAAAA JAMIL’S 「はっ！」SO COOL

- so SO— the dorm leader’s have a protocol for outsider attacks like this 👁👄👁 OMG THEY’RE SO HOT

- They don’t seem like our bois anymore aaa just pure professionalism at this point—

- GOD I FORGOT HOW COOL THEY ARE OMG

- HEEEYYY OUR DORM IS GETTING DESTROYED WTF ARE THESE GUYS’ PROBLEM

- We were just talking about renovating it too wtf

- AAAAAHHH HOW DARE YOU— VIL R YOU OK

- Bruh i dont know what is going on but dont touch my man’s face

- They’re targetting Vil and Jamil WHY— overblot men!!??? WHERE ARE YOU— GIVE THEM BACK

- I didnt understand what epel said here lmao BUT—!?

- THEY HAVE GRIM TOO FUCK HE’S BACK LET GO OF MY FUCKING CAT

- WHAT IS GOING ON DARLINGS

- BUDDYY >:’0000 Grimmm MY HEART—

- Are they kidnapping the overblot men?? What— the fucking absolute ｂａｌｌｓ on these robots

- God we’re getting absolutely ｆｕｃｋｅｄ in here

- AND THERE’S A CAULDRON IN THE BACKGROUND LOL DEUCE WENT HAM

- BRING ME BACK MY FUCKING CAT— >:’0000

- I thought there’s going to be a festival not a fucking kidnapping event HEY

- Oh 👀 Rook pls help

- AAAHH SERIOUS ROOK IS HOT—

- IS THE OTHER DORM LEADERS CHILLING WHERE ARE THEY KALIM PLS BE SAFE

- OH RIDDLE IS NOT ANSWERING THEY GOT HIM TOO

- Oh ghad they got him during clubs WTF HOW—

- *nervous hornii chuckling* …angry expression silver 👁👄👁 im sorry

- AAAA Dorm leaders actually be acting like dorm leaders is soo cool i cant—

- Bruh the story is all chaos what is this chapter

- Are they gonna get Leona and Azul too what—

- RIDDLE BABY Jesus christ dont overblot like this again lol

- DAMN HE STRONG FOR A SMOL BOI THO

- Whoever made these robots wtf is their deal lol TO BE ABLE TO BEAT A DORM LEADER—

- …Bruh where is our horned friend when u need him

- Silver and Sebek theorizing with dorm leaders but they took Jamil tho?? It’s probably the overblot men they’re after

- Also Malleus is probably good so you two calm down lol Lilia’s probs having tea with him right now

- Okay, Leona how are you going to get captured KING.

- Omg everything is getting destroyed wtf

- AW LEONA SAVED RUGGIE THATS CUTE AND COOL AF

- Bruh leona these are material robots— cant you just turn them into sand lol

- Oh they do have some kind of brand cmon just turn them into sand pls

- WHAT THE FUCK

- LEONA-SAN!? WHY ARE YOU GIVING UP— OJI-TAN!!!

- OLD MAN WHAT—

- *hearing leona whisper his reasons ✋ 👁👄👁 🤚 okay sir im sorry

- Damn Leona acting like a real prince right now— it’s kinda hot 👀👀

- BRUH PLS COME BACK DONT TALK LIKE YOU AINT GONNA

- BRO WHERE ARE THE TEACHERS

- THE BOARD GAME CLUB

- Idia : “bro we just chilling be cool— MY CHESS PIECE“

- “Aight ortho what’s the situation” “ｆｕｃｋｅｄ＂

- So Idia of course knows about this— why does he look like he’s so done lmao me getting the feeling this isnt the first time idia has encountered this situation before lol

- Man i want to see azul in action too but mehh— Idia told him to settle down cries

- LOL WHAT IS THIS KARONE ROBOTS

- Wait— are they taking idia too?? OH IS THIS THE DOING OF IDIA’S FAMILY

- WHERE IS CROWLEY— THE TEACHERS, YOUR IMPORTANT STUDENTS ARE GETTING KIDNAPPED

- AH THEY ALSO KNOW ABOUT THESE STYX BITCHES WHAT— and they’re just letting them GO whaaat

- Sounds to me that this must be idia’s family taking care of the overblotting students?? Like to protect Idia or something?? I DONT—

- “Gather all the dorm leaders” No, sir, they’re already gone besides my sunshine and the horn boi

- Malleus??? 👁👄👁 TSUNOTAROU

- Pls kill the robots they destroyed my place

- AAH UPSIDE DOWN LILIA long time no see lol

- Bruhh the diasomnia students are so lucky to have Malleus as a dorm leader omg

- BRUH LILIA’S RINGTONE IS SO CUTE LMAO

- Kalim sounds so desperate im so sad

- ARE WE— ARE WE GONNA MEET MALLEUS AGAINNN

- Bruh they just goku teleported their way out of the dorm lol

- AAAAHH EVERYONE IS HERE THIS IS SO FUN

- Wait jack is not here lol did they just forget about him wtf

- Oh shit we here too i did not know LMAO

- S-So are we just gonna..continue school like— like these styx bitches didnt just ruin half the school, my dorm, injure my bois, and took my cat or…???

- GASP AAAA STYX IS A BLOT RESEARCH FACILITY WHAAAT

- So that’s why leona and idia be like bro this is not worth it

- O-Oh yeah— they…they didnt know that Vil overblot— PFFT

- Malleus pls information who are you talking about—

- WHO— LILIA MALLEUS OH NO

- Ey, overblot squad are assembled lol this looks so dangerous

- LMAOO Riddle was sleeping on Leona’s lap for three hours THATS SO CUTE

- Where the fck did they take them, ITS CRAMPED AF

- Bro they’re just exposing Vil and Jamil’s overblot that’s supposed to be a SECRET LOL

- Oji-tan can sound so wise and reliable like this if he really tried lol sugar daddy energy

- Wtf these guys never thought that idia was from a big shot family??? They thought it was just coincidence that they had the same family name PFFT

- AZUL AAAA He was right there my guy BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY MAN

- oh. They finally opened— isn’t this the ignihyde dorm what

- WHAT THE FU— IDIA

- Bro— WHAT WAS THAT IT WAS IDIA ALL ALONG???

- WHAT IS THIS CHAPTER

This chapter is a fucking roller coaster like— literal 0 to 100 ＱＵＩＣＣ From having a moment with Vil and the bois to a FUCKING TERRORIST ATTACK LMAO IM HYPED FOR NEXT CHAP—

It’s been so long, I hope they released the next part soon (๑>◡<๑) I forgot how fine these men are lol at least I want to hear their voices again 👁👄👁

[thatgirlwritingficsatnight]

Gift exchange

It’s Christmas Eve, and you’ve forgotten about your Christmas company party. Even worse you forgot to get a gift for the “not so secret Santa” - your company’s tradition. Wanna top it? Make it even worse? No problem. The person you were supposed to get a gift for? Your crush. Defsoul - the most talented, kindest and hottest person alive. What are you going to do now?

pairing: Lim Jaebeom (Defsoul) x reader

genre: smut, fluff, Jaebeom is a producer, Y/N is a manager

warnings: smut: daddy kink, light choking, ass play; foul language (please don’t read it if you’re not old enough)

words: 4989

A/N: TFW you try to write a GOT7 reaction, and you end up with one-shot. I know I’m kinda late with whole christmas theme but i wrote it last night and figured out I could post it anyway.

***

You barely got to shut your eyes before your alarm tore you up from your dreams. It was nine in the morning, and you went to sleep at six AM because of your work. You groaned as you shuffled in bed cursing your job, three hours of sleep was not enough for anyone. Being manager of K-pop girl group was hard enough but being the manager in December when there was award show after award show and festivals - that was a nightmare. To other people December was equal to Christmas, gifts, parties, New Year's Eve but to you, it was synonymous with constant state of tiredness, your biggest wish right now was to spent Christmas break alone, just you and your bed. You sighed as you dragged yourself to shower. Girls had only slept for 5 hours, and you felt bad for them — not only were they invited to each award show that existed they also just have had a comeback. You could see how exhausted they were and yet your superiors still pushed for them to go to some stupid TV show on Christmas Eve. You got yourself ready and went to pick them up and get them to set.

The recording went smoothly, and you were already daydreaming about coming home early and passing out on your bed. It was six PM already, but you still had to drive girls home and step into the office for a bit. You sighed you'd be home eight PM at best - well it was still better than coming home at two or three AM. You were about to go and thank everyone for their hard work when your phone vibrated. It was your best friend and coworker.

"Hey Inha. What's up?"

"I wanted to check if you remember about the company party tonight."

You hit your forehead and groaned.

"OMG! You forgot! Have you bought a gift at least?"

"No..." you whined. You wanted to die. You had so much work lately that you've absolutely forgotten about that party — it was for staff only and each year you'd drew lots to pick the person you were supposed to give a gift to. It wasn't even secret Santa your boss simply came to conclusion that gift exchange would help out with forming friendships...

"Girl... Do you at least remember who you drew?"

Of course you remembered. How could you not. This was your lucky year, you got Defsoul the hottest, kindest and most talented person working for your label. You had a small crush on him since that day he gave up his coffee for you. You were falling asleep standing while girls were recording their vocals, and he chuckled at you before telling you to sit by him and drink some coffee. It probably meant nothing to him but that was one of the most stressful weeks in your life, and you weren't sleeping at all during that time — ITZY were about to make a debut, and you couldn't stop worrying over it. You remember how touched you were by this simple gesture, after all no one ever gave you coffee, usually you were the one getting it for other people. His looks certainly didn't help with your hopeless crush. He was H O T and not even simply hot, more like "I-look-like-an-idol" hot. He had a black mullet, piercing under his eye, he also had his nose and ears pierced to make matters worse for you he also had most hypnotizing almost feline-like eyes. Honestly you wondered why didn't he become an idol with a face and talent like that. After that one time, he would buy you a coffee whenever he had seen you and you two became somewhat close - you'd swing over his studio when girls had to train and talk about everything and nothing. He told you about his cats, his favorite restaurants, his passion for taking pictures and well you mostly told him about your job since you basically didn't have any private life - it really felt pathetic. He even took your photo once - telling you that the picture would help him later when he would be looking for inspiration (it is a mystery till this day how you haven't fainted that evening). One day you were waiting for girls to finish up their dance practice and fell asleep on one of the benches — it was difficult day for you since you haven't slept for twenty hours already (you had to fight off some crazy sasaengs and didn’t sleep whole night keeping an eye on their dorm — some would say you were overdoing it, but to you members of ITZY were like your little sisters). You woke up in his studio on his couch. He carried you there while you were asleep and tucked you in, covering you with his jacket. You were extremely embarrassed, apologetic and thankful at the same time. He chuckled at you before saying that it was okay and forced you to promise that you'd oversleep to work the very next day. Inha claimed he had a crush on you since he never treated her with the same kindness or anyone really. But you knew better, he was a good colleague. A good, extraordinarily attractive colleague you wanted to kiss and lick and...

"Hello? Earth to Y/N??" your friend snapped you from your thoughts.

"I have to go Inha! Thank you for reminding me! Love you!" You checked the time, there was no way you'd manage to drive girls back, buy a gift, get ready for a party and do all that without being late. You sighed you will have to improvise. You drove off girls and came back rushing straight to your apartment. The party started at 10 PM and you had to shower, somehow fix your sleep-deprived face and figure out how you're going to apologize to Def... You were home a few minutes before 8 rushing into your bedroom - at least you knew what you were going to wear. That would be the most expensive, or more like the only expensive piece of clothing you had — a birthday gift from girls. It was an oversized tuxedo jacket from Alexander Wang and you haven't worn it yet. You tried it on, it had quite deep cleavage, and exposed a lot of your legs, but you figured it would be ok for tonight. You smoothed out black velvety material before stepping out of it. You still had to shower and do your makeup. An hour later you were looking at yourself in the mirror — the mask Inha got you really helped out with bags under your eyes. You did good with makeup as well: it was soft brownish smoky eye, orange toned lipstick and some shimmers here and there — you actually looked healthy and well rested (a true Christmas miracle really). You looked even better after getting in your outfit — Ryunjin was right, the tuxedo like dress fitted your vibe. You even wore some black heels which didn't often happen since you always chose comfort over looks when at work.  

Fortunately you got to the party on time even though you couldn't catch a taxi for twenty minutes or so. People inside were already mingling and drinking, and you decided to grab something to drink before looking for Def. You located a small table with champagne in the corner of the room. You downed two glasses as quick as you got there, and were already grabbing a third one when a voice spoke up startling you so much you jumped a little.

"Rough day?" Defsoul was standing next to you, whiskey in his hand, smirking at you. You immediately blushed and gawked at him. He was so handsome it was simply unfair. This man clearly woke up today and chose violence. He was wearing a silky black shirt — and it was quite unbuttoned, so you had a chance of seeing his broad chest (you were currently having a heart attack), and slacks he also styled his hair so that his forehead was exposed with one defiant streak of hair falling onto his brow bone. You wanted to groan. You fucked up — this could've been your chance to get him to like you more...

"Y/N? Are you alright?" he was genuinely concerned, and here you were, basically salivating and staring at him like a starved, nasty man. That was so embarrassing. You cleared your throat and looked away.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm just really tired today..." He smiled at you warmly, and you wanted to punch yourself for not getting him something, anything.

"That's great!" You gave him a confused look, and he bit his lip nervously while scratching the back of his head. He was so cute you could kiss him. Well to be fair you felt like you could kiss him any time. Why...why did you have to forget that bloody gift...

"I mean it's not great that you're tired... It's just… ah, shit I suck at this. Here." He handed you a plastic card, and you read it absolutely puzzled. Lifetime pass for coffee with Jaebeom — it also had a cute chibi character that looked just like Def, except it had some cat ears.

"Now you can get coffee whenever you want. I mean I know you can have it whenever you want anyway, I just thought that maybe you'd like someone to get it with... I mean get it for you… It's ok if you don't like it really, oh by the way I'm Jaebeom, I don't know if I already told you my real name or not…" he was rambling, and you were screaming inside your head. That was so cute. So kind. You wanted to hug him and kiss him so badly. "Ah, shit. I really do suck at this." he said more to himself than to you. You finally looked at him and grinned.

"I love it." you said and his eyes turned into big orbs before light pink colored his cheeks.

"You do?"

"I do. It's a perfect gift." you smiled, your heart swelled with happiness. You could technically go on a date with him whenever you felt like with this handy piece of plastic. That is if he wouldn't start to hate you in the next few minutes for forgetting his present.

"I'm glad." he grinned and it took your breath away. How come he was so perfect? You got even more nervous looking at the gift from him.

"Ah... I was your not so secret Santa as well…" you started.

"Really? So what did you get me?" he was genuinely interested, and you wanted to go back in time and kill yourself for forgetting about this party. You looked up. His eyes were gleaming with curiosity — you were fucked.

"It's me! I'm your gift!" you joked and looked down to cover your nervousness. You were about to say that it was just a stupid joke and apologize before he spoke up.

"I love it." his voice was deeper than normally, and you looked up shocked by it. He was checking you out, his hungry eyes traveling up and down. You've never seen him like that. You could feel warmth spreading on your cheeks under his intense stare, a tight knot forming somewhere near your core in excitement.

"Y-you do?" your voice faltered, and he chuckled while moving closer to you. He smelled musky with a hint of citrus. Your legs were about to collapse under you.

"I do." he hummed he was so close you could feel the warmth radiating from him. His hand brushed against yours as he bent down to reach your ear. You were sure your skin was burning where he touched you. "So, tell me Y/N, when can I unwrap you?" his tone was dark and dangerous and when he straightened up you've seen this gleam in his eyes as he smirked. Your legs felt like made from putty and you'd collapse if his hand weren't already wrapped around your waist. You couldn't believe it was happening. Your heart was beating so hard it was about to spring off your chest — you were wondering if he could hear it. You certainly could even though blood ringed in your ears. You felt your throat going dry and your panties getting moist.

"Def…" you started weakly. Shocked by your own voice — it sounded so needy.

"Call me Jaebeom.." he purred. "Would you like to go to my place? I don't think I can wait any longer to enjoy my gift…" You quavered from excitement, his voice was laced with a promise of sleepless night.

"Yes, let's go." you said and he smiled at you. You were sure you lost any oxygen you still had in your lungs at that moment. His hand left your waist, and you wanted to catch it and wrap yourself with it again. Instead, he grabbed your hand and interlocked your fingers with his, smiling at you sweetly before he led you outside. You couldn't focus on anything else, but his fingers wrapped around yours. His hand was warm, and he held you firmly, his skin soft and delicate. You managed to quickly catch a taxi and through whole drive Jaebeom's hand lazily travelled up and down your thigh. His gentle fingers sending sparks to your core every time he brushed the inside of your leg. You glanced at him, eyes filled with desire — he shivered, and it made you feel a different kind of excitement — you didn't know that you had this kind of effect on him. You got out of the taxi and his hand was instantly on yours, he was almost dragging you skipping every other step as he rushed upstairs to his apartment. He opened the door and let you in. Immediately three cats came in and brushed against your legs. You smiled softly.

"They like you.." Jaebeom murmured against your neck while taking off your coat for you, you gasped at the feeling, and he released low chuckle before he started planting soft kisses against your neck — each time his lips touched your skin your muscles clenched with anticipation. You couldn't wait any longer. You turned around and looked at him, his eyes were glued to your lips and excitement bubbled somewhere below your stomach.

"I waited so long for this..." he started but never got to finish as your lips were on his in a second. Even his lips felt like cotton, and you sighed against him when he kissed you back. He was clearly enjoying slow kisses. You grew impatient once again and licked his lower lip, he gave you access you asked for, and your tongue brushed against his hungrily. You could already feel how wet you were, arousal making your panties stick to you painfully. Jaebeom's hand travelled around your back dropping dangerously low now and then but never grabbing you — you really wanted him to hold you and take you roughly. Once again you grew impatient this night. You took his lower lip in between your teeth, you bit it hard and moaned. That seemed to make him lose his cool, he let out a growl that travelled straight to your core.

"Bad girl..." he said before he turned you around and pushed you against the wall so that your back was facing him. His tongue already on your earlobe, you sighed and shivered when he licked it and let out breaths against wet, sensitive skin. "I wanted to take it slowly, but you're so eager, so impatient…" he was purring into your ear, and you were aching down there more and more with each syllable.

"Jaebeom..." you moaned as you pressed your ass against him. He sucked some breath in when you pushed down against his hard length, his body working on its own accord, one hand already on your hips pressing you harder when the other one cupped your breast. This is not how he envisioned tonight, he thought that he'd at best confess his feelings not have you here crumbling in his hands while moaning his name. Your hips bucked against his by itself as soon as you felt how hard he was. His hand grabbed your clothed breast, and you regretted wearing anything. You wanted to feel him against you naked skin not through layers of clothing.

"Jaebeom-ah..." you moaned his name again, and he rewarded you with sucking on your neck — it was painful yet pleasant, and you almost forgot what you wanted to say before he licked the fresh mark and kissed it. "Didn't you say you wanted to unwrap me?" You said in weak voice still affected by his mouth on your neck. He laughed against your skin, and you thought that's how paradise would sound like.

"You really are impatient... do you want me to fuck you so bad?" he asked rubbing into you, his dick almost in pain from the friction.

"Yes...please..." you panted out, and he let out some animalistic sound upon hearing how needy you were. He made you face him and unbuttoned your tuxedo-like-dress before he tossed it somewhere behind him. You shivered under his stare. He pulled you into him and his hands immediately travelled to your ass, grabbing it and lifting you up without effort. He began kissing your jaw, neck, collarbones, and you tilted your head, so he could have better access. He carried you to his bedroom and laid you down carefully on the mattress before he took a step back. His sheets smelled just like him, and you sighed in pleasure, sinking deeply into his fragrance. He bit his lip seeing you in his bed, wearing nothing but lacy underwear. However, you didn't want just lay and wait, you got up and reached out to his own shirt undoing the buttons hastily, but he didn't let you, he was in control. He held your hands and pushed you back on bed. You bounced and your hair created a sort of crown, spreading around your face — it emphasized your features even more, and Jaebeom felt as if he was making love to some kind of goddess. Your lips, eyes, hair, body everything was perfect. He wanted to taste you already.

"You need to ask me nicely." He smirked at you and you pouted a bit before a mischievous gleam appeared in your eyes. You let one of the straps fall from your shoulder and gave him an innocent look before taking off the other one as well. Just one move and Jaebeom would see your torso naked. He bit his lip unintentionally, when you pushed your breast closer while also moaning.

"Pleeeaaase... undress already and fuck me... daddy." He groaned - you'd be the end of him. He quickly tore any clothes that were on him leaving only his boxers on, and you stared him down hungrily. Saying he was beautiful was and understatement. He was perfect. His skin was light and smooth, it gleamed in the moonlight that illuminated the room through a small window located right above the headboard. It was still dim, but you could clearly see the outline of muscles on his stomach, and a tempting v line, waiting for you to be licked on his abdomen.

"Take off your bra." he ordered and you obediently followed. His eyes devoured your glistening breasts, two darker beads already hard and inviting him in. He licked his thumb and brushed it against your nipple watching intently for your reaction. You didn't disappoint him as you arched your back hungry for his touch. He took another one into his mouth, his tongue making circles around it for what felt like forever. The sound of his wet licks and your quickened breath feeling the silence of the room. You squeezed your legs looking for any kind of release, it didn't help much. Your core was aching and since you could only wait for him to bring you pleasure you closed your eyes and focused only on the sole path of his tongue. It was almost like a torture and Jaebeom seemed to enjoy it greatly, lazy licks, circles around your nipples, blowing cold air on them to hear your whines. And so when he finally sucked on your swollen nipple you moaned his name so loudly his neighbors could hear you. His dick twitched in his boxers. He couldn't wait for much long either, you were the most beautiful person he ever saw, and you were squirming under him, waiting for him to fuck you. He was honestly shocked he didn't take you against that wall in his hall when you pushed your ass against him. He smirked at you, he haven’t even fucked you yet and you were already having this kind of expression. His lips travelled from your breast lower and lower before his face hovered above your panties, hot breath on your wet, clothed pussy sending you almost over the edge. You looked down at him, his eyes were full of lust. He was so beautiful you felt like it was just a dream, not reality. When he pressed his nose against your wet folds you moaned again. He inhaled it a few times as if it was the most ravishing smell in the world.

"You smell so good I might go crazy." He actually was going crazy as his cock let out a bit of pre-cum only upon him smelling your pussy.

"Daddy... please..." you pleaded looking him in the eyes, he couldn't take it any longer. In one swift move he tore the panties off you, they were soaked, and he sniffed them one last time before throwing them out.  He took off his own underwear, and knelt between your legs his cock in his hand already.

"You're so wet for me. Such a good girl, I'm going to fuck you so good." he purred out, and you could go off his words only. He put on condom quickly and teased your entrance before sliding into you slowly. He was watching your face intently as he didn't want to cause you pain.

"Just don't move for a second, you're so big I need to get used to the stretch." It was painful a and pleasant at the same time - the way he filled you up. He didn't buck his hips as you asked, instead he kissed your lips, your jaw, neck, and you kissed him back with passion. Soon he started rocking into you and you moaned into his mouth.

"Harder." you managed to say between the panting and kissing. He straightened up and increased the tempo, sweat building on his forehead.

"Harder..." you said and his hand went to your throat while he almost crushed into you. He choked you lightly, and you felt the orgasm building already.

"Daddy... harder..."

"You dirty girl. On all fours." You obediently followed his order and soon he was fucking you doggy style, his hand spanking you lightly. "You like that? You like when daddy takes you hard?" His voice was so low you shivered under him.

"Yes, daddy." you moaned out when his huge dick filled you with each thrust.

"You're so dirty and good to your daddy. I will reward you and play with your other hole." Before you could say anything he spat on your ass and his finger danced around the other entrance. Just that was enough for you to see white. Your toes curled and your head went back, you screamed his name like it was the only thing keeping you alive, and you could feel how he twitched inside you when you clenched around him in orgasm spasm.

"Y/N, ah... I'm cumming, I'm…" he said through gritted teeth while pounding into you. You both reached your highs and fell onto the bed. He discarded the condom and started kissing your back lazily.

"Do you want to shower together?" he asked.

"Yes, but I don't think I have enough energy to go for another round…" you said while turning his way. He was looking at you lovingly, his expression completely fucked out. He was beautiful, the most handsome you've ever seen him actually. You sighed when his fingers brushed off hair from your face in sweet gesture.

"That's ok, I'll just shower you and we can go to sleep." You nodded, and he took your hand and guided you to his bathroom. He switched on the shower and pulled you under the water when it was warm already. He was so delicate with you, soaping your body, shampooing your head. You smiled at him warmly, and he chuckled.

"You're really cute." he said with a smile after making and weird shapes out of your shampooed hair.

"Stop it, I'll blush." you said while getting under the water, he was quickly spooning you, kissing your back almost with devotion.

"Good, you're even cuter when you blush."

You both towelled yourself dry and Jaebeom even brushed your hair for you before pulling you back to bed. You cuddled your face into his chest and he closed his arms around you. You didn't know if it was one-night stand only, but you'd worry about your possibly broken heart in the morning since his scent was already inviting you to the dreamworld.

You woke up to some rumbling. You opened your eyes and shot up, fear washing over you — that wasn't your bedroom. Memories of last night came next, and you fell back to the sheets squealing quietly into his pillow. That's when the realization hit you. What if it was just one-night stand, and you were rolling around his bed happily in love like an idiot? You sighed but before you could do anything, the man in question came to the bedroom smiling at you warmly.

"You finally woke up sleepyhead." He sat next to you and bend down to kiss your cheek. You looked down. "What's wrong? Have I done something?" He looked concerned.

"I.. no." You said sitting up, and he raised his brow on you. Ugh, he was looking great wearing a plain gray hoodie. You sighed.

"Was that one just for one night? If it was a one-night stand tell me now before I do something stupid."

"One-night stand?" He looked at you offended. "One-night stand?! Do you even know for how long I've been crushing on you? It was few years of my desperate attempts to ask you out, buying you coffee, looking for you constantly. Hell, I even made Yugyeom exchange the stupid lottery draw with me, so that I could give you that card. I actually thought that would helped me out with asking you out. One-night stand?! Jesus, Y/N, he made me basically his slave for a day, and you're asking me if it's one-night stand?" He was angry, and you looked at him shocked, you have never seen him like that. "Do you want this to be one-night stand?!" he raised his voice again.

"No!" you answered him immediately.

"No?! Great, then you can... wait you said no?" He cleared his throat, and you could actually see him smiling like an idiot before he cleared it again. "Well… good because I made us lunch already, and it would go to waste otherwise." He tried to act cool. You giggled at him and pushed him down before sitting on top of him.

"You're cute." You said and he blushed looking away.

"I'm not."

"Yes you are. You are the cutest actually." He groaned in response getting even more red, and you giggled once again. It was the first time you got him to blush so much, usually it was just light pink appearing on the apples of his cheeks. You kissed his face leaving pecks all over it, he chuckled before speaking again.

"I don't want this to be one-night stand. I like you I was actually planning on asking you out yesterday."

"You were?"

"I was. So would like to go out with me?" he wiggled his brows at you and you grinned before nodding.

"Mmm. I'd love to." you answered and he pulled you for a lazy kiss.

"Come, I prepared some food for you. It's hardly festive, but it's something"

"I'm sure it's great. I just need to put something on myself first."

"You can have my hoodie and sweats." he said while looking through his cabinet. "Here." He handed you clothes and blushed once again mumbling that he will wait for you in the kitchen. He got embarrassed — that was just too cute.

You slipped in his clothes, his smell wrapping around you. You got out of the bedroom only to be greeted by three cats purring and brushing against your legs. You smiled and petted them, scratching them on their chins. Jaebeom was just standing and staring at you, still not believing his luck. You were wearing his blouse, it was hanging on you like a dress basically and his heart ached at this picture. You looked up and grinned.

"They like me!"

"I'm pretty sure they're going to like you more than they like me." He chuckled. "Now come, let's eat."

You nodded and entered his kitchen, there was kimchi jjigae and rice prepared for both of you. You smiled and sat down already salivating because of the delicious smell.

"Merry Christmas Y/N." He said looking up from his dish.

"Merry Christmas Jaebeom." You smiled at him lovingly. "So what did Yugyeom made you do?"

"Don't even ask." He said and you giggled. Let's just say you didn't get to spend the Christmas break alone in the bed like you wished.

[ressjeon]

ghost of you | jhs

pairing: jung hoseok x female reader

summary: he keeps begging you to go, but you insist on staying

genre: childhood best friend!au, angst, slow burn, drama, little bit of fluff

warnings: implied smut (brief affair), swearing, alcohol consumption

word count: 12k (whoops more than planned)

a/n: so this is my very first full fic whew. there’s been last minute changes so I procrastinated but do listen to the song of the same title by 5 Seconds of Summer while reading this :)

and since this is VERY late from his birthday i just decided to submit it to @houseofddaeng​​’s Happy Hobiuary event this year and i chose a comeback look with my favourite hair colour on him, this was from the Euphoria MV ❤️

Clearing your throat, you got the attention of everyone at the table. Now all eyes on you, you feel your confidence starting to falter. Who fucking cares, this monthly dinner with Hoseok's family is the best time for this.

"Um..so me and Hobi were thinking.." you eyed Hoseok beside you to help you continue explaining what you both have been planning for weeks.

"Y/N and I are thinking of getting a house together" Hoseok smiled back at you and you flushed.

"You wanna live together! Omg my ship is sailing!" Hoseok's sister Jiwoo is squealing while poking your sides. You just glared at her, eyeing her to stop just in case Hoseok catches on.

"N-no, not like that, we'll share a house near our campus" you clarified but the knowing look from your Mom is making you nervous, she can always read you. "Yeah, cause the dorms in uni are separated but we don't want to live apart" Hoseok chimed in cheerfully, putting an arm around your shoulder.

"Well then, of course. Who are we to stop you both" Hoseok's Dad smiled at you both and you felt his Mom's teasing eyes when you nuzzled into Hoseok's side. Your parents have not said anything and you contemplated asking, now anxiously holding Hoseok's hand beside you. His parents looked at yours hopefully and then your Dad finally decided to face you both.

"You both are now adults so do whatever you want" a look of surprise etched up on your face and you resisted to smile broadly, maintaining your cool exterior when you're actually screaming inside of happiness.

You can't help but think that this could possibly help you develop your relationship with Hoseok on another level.

.

After settling down, things are going well with you and Hoseok welcoming freshman year of university together. You're just glad that he never changed despite him gaining more friends because of his bright personality.

Meanwhile, you're the opposite. Literally people avoid you when they see you or seem hesitant every time you make a conversation which is bs so you eventually give up on making new friends. Hoseok once told you that you have this “hostile” aura, though he tried to convince you to still try but you don’t care anymore. Him has always been enough.

Most people wonder how you and Hoseok are best friends because of how opposite the two of you are. There is one thing that you and Hoseok share a hobby though, dancing. Which is why after the house was purchased, you both decided to transform the basement into a mini dance studio, it’s literally just a room with full wall mirrors and of course, only his family supported the idea.

"We'll pay you back after we graduate, promise!" you giggled excitedly, both of your hands clasping together, thanking Hoseok’s parents for being supportive. Finally you can dance freely now that you are out of your parents' lair, they were never supportive of you venturing in the arts anyways.

Though you haven't actually delved into dancing fully, Hoseok knows how good you are since every time he sees you secretly practicing, he always gets mesmerized with your moves. You've never taken any dance lessons and yet you're already this good, a natural hence why Hoseok decided that he’s gonna help you in going back to it fully this time.

"Let's choreograph a dance together" Hoseok beamed at you while you both are eating breakfast one morning.

"Wait what? Why all of a sudden?" you pouted, looking at him in confusion. Though his idea is amazing, you're not sure if you're good enough compared to Hoseok. He's dancing skills are out of this world with years of professional experience and you're just, well, you who only dances for fun.

"Why not? Y/N you're naturally talented you know, I don't know why you can't see it" Hoseok smiled warmly at you and reached out to hold your hand across the countertop. You almost choked with your toast when you looked at his eyes so you covered it with a cough.

"Pshh fine, be patient with me okay? I'm not as good as you" you jokingly glared at him, snatching back your hand. You hope that the shade of the morning sunlight is covering your blush cause you definitely felt your cheeks heating up.

Yeah you have feelings for him. Yeah you love him, so what? It's not like you can stop yourself in developing them. You tried but with a guy like Hoseok, that's impossible. Though you've been planning to confess, you just don't have the perfect timing yet.

.

After a few weeks, you are planning to confess to Hoseok tonight so you texted him to meet at your favorite restaurant at 8pm. You said it's your treat so he promised to be there, I mean he never breaks his promises anyways.

You're feeling jumpy for the first time, well it's different since it's Hoseok. After years of keeping your feelings, you're finally ready to tell him. Funny how brave you are in everything else except for this one, you smiled to yourself. You were early at the restaurant and laughed at yourself. Okay maybe you're too excited on what's going to happen tonight. Minutes passed after 8 and he still hasn't come so you readied yourself while waiting for him.

He's late, I mean you shouldn't be panicking since it's only been a couple of minutes but you can't help getting worried so you texted him. You mentally giggled, adoring the cute nickname you have for him that you only change when you’re alone. You always set it back to “Hoseok” afterwards in case he calls you in public, especially at uni.

[Hobi loml <3: Hobi are you almost here?]

You didn't wanna be too pushy. One text is enough and you took a deep breath while waiting for him. The waiter stopped by but you dismissed him saying that your companion will be here any minute now.

45 minutes have passed and he's still not here. You waited for more and it’s now 9:30 so you’re agitated now.

[Hobi loml <3: Hobi? Are you still coming?]

When you didn't get a reply, you smiled bitterly and just asked the same waiter to take out the food you ordered. He looked at you sympathetically but good thing he didn't say anything.

Arriving at your shared home, you noticed that the lights were off. So he’s not even home, where tf could he possibly be at this hour. Just when you were about to call him, you received a text from Hoseok but a guy named Jimin is  telling you that Hoseok is with them and that he would be staying the night at the boys’ dormitory.

So not only he forgot the formal dinner you prepared but he stood you up,  basically ditching you to be with his new friends. He broke his promise..

You’re wondering if this is only the beginning of him breaking his promises to you.

A few months after that night, you notice that there’s something changing in Hoseok. You barely see him anymore since he spends a lot of time now with his other friends, but at least he still comes home at night and treats you the same. You’ve been waiting for a perfect time but you don’t want to delay your confession any longer so you decided to corner him one night after dinner. 

“Hoseok, can we talk?” you muttered and he eyed you curiously. 

“About what? And why are you fidgeting?” he coaxes you on, raising his eyebrows.

You straightened yourself and reached out to hold both of his hands, clutching them tightly.

Then staring into his eyes, you poured all your emotions on them as you declared what’s been deep down your heart for so many years.

“I like you, Hoseok” you smiled lovingly at him while his eyes widened in complete shock. His silence along with puzzled eyes looking back at you is making your heartbeat faster every second of him not doing anything.

“Y/N..” his voice came out unsure, I mean his face gave it all so now you’re very nervous.He probably thinks you’re just playing around and you’re getting restless.

“Hoseok, I’m serious okay?” you try to sound determined though your confidence is slowly dissipating. 

Back in silence, you can tell he’s been trying to be careful with his words, maybe to try not to hurt you. God if he rejects you-

“I don’t know what to say, uhm..thanks?” if this is in another situation you would’ve thought how adorable he is scratching the back of his head.

Hoseok doesn’t know how to respond to you. He knows you’re usually upfront in most things but he didn’t expect this from you. He’s literally clueless on what to say but you’re his best friend so he trusts you. 

What the hell got into you to think that a confession would be so simple. Well, you just decided to break the usual “I’ve been in love with my best friend for so long but I don’t want to ruin our friendship” thing. Not that there’s wrong with that, it’s very hard for some people to do so. So here you are, just finished confessing your feelings to your best friend and for the first time you’re nervous around him.

“Was I supposed to say ‘you’re welcome’?” you huffed, trying to act dismissive. “So what’s your answer? Again I told you I wasn’t joking, I like you Hoseok”. He gulped, you only use his real name when you’re very serious but he literally thought you were trying to prank him earlier or something. 

“Uhm, can you give me some time?” he looks at you with hopeful eyes. 

Fuck. You’re making him uncomfortable. Fuck.

“Shit, Hobi I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-” he cuts you off before you can even continue. 

“No, no, it’s not that.. It’s just-” he paused and breathed deeply, gathering his thoughts.

“I totally understand if-” you’re already panicking given that you're now speaking faster than usual.

“I’m not really sure how to be in a relationship, there.” He blurted, letting out a deep sigh that made you pause. You didn’t expect he would be just honest about the real reason at the moment so you smiled at him.

“It’s okay Hobi, we can take it slow and-” you’re already saying too much but who cares, it’s not like he rejected you so there must be something, right?

“Look, um I can’t give you a real answer yet but I trust you so I want us to give a chance ‘kay?” his tone shifting softly while shuffling your hair, walking away outside after. 

You pouted but nodded anyways. Hoseok’s glad that he got out of the conversation smoothly, at least now he’s relieved since you’re back to calling him “Hobi”.

Honestly, he’s happy knowing about your feelings for him. Smiling brightly at the night sky outside in the backyard of your shared home, thinking how he made his ever-confident best friend nervous just for a confession.

A ding from his phone pulled him out from his reverie, 

 [Unknown: We need to talk. Answer me or else she’ll know ;)]

Hoseok already knows who this is, given that he had blocked her numbers for a while now. He just didn’t expect that she’ll go this far, even going after you now. He just hopes this would be like the other warnings that he was able to handle.

[Unknown: image.]

[Unknown: Still not gonna answer me? You have a day <3]

He couldn't move from where he’s standing, staring at his phone in shock. This couldn't be happening, despite his confusion earlier you actually made his day better (as usual) but he doesn't know if he will be for yours after this anymore. Still staring at the text, Hoseok couldn’t think straight after what he just read. He’s hoping it’s not real, praying to all the gods out there that it's not what he thinks it is. 

[Him: Fine. Let’s meet at the nearest cafe, don’t you dare do something]

[Unknown: Yay! Can’t wait to see you, good night <3]

Retreating for the night he passed by your bedroom, only to see you asleep on your desks with some unfinished homework and he smiled, you’ve always looked beautiful even when you’re sleeping. He chuckled by himself at how adorable you are, with your habit of not locking your door when you're busy.

Waiting at the said cafe felt like eons for Hoseok. He's mostly nervous because of the texts, especially that image. Getting absorbed in his thoughts he didn't realize the pair of arms that’s latching on his shoulders from behind and he jerked in surprise. 

"Hobi! Did you miss me?" a high-pitched voice startled him and looked up sideways to see a pretty girl with an innocent looking face, ironically."Don’t call me that" he released a defeated sigh, yanking his arms from her hold. 

Ahn Sohye, the girl who’s been going after him since the start of the school year that he has been desperately avoiding. Hoseok's bracing himself to whatever craziness she has in for him this time, doing his best to focus in order to get the clarification he’s been wanting.

“Awee why that face? And what? Cause Y/N’s the only one allowed to call you that?” Sohye scoffed, a tone of jealousy in her voice. Hoseok just frowned at her and was about to leave but her expression quickly changed, a sly smile towards him with warning eyes.

“Look!” her demeanour suddenly changed as she eagerly handed him a printed picture, and time stopped immediately.

An ultrasound picture.

No. 

no,no,no,no.

“What the fuck is this?” he hissed at her, incredulous eyes now mixed with anger.

“Our little one of course” she squealed excitedly, batting her lashes at him.

“Stop fucking around with me Sohye, this isn’t funny anymore” Hoseok’s usually calm but his patience have been tested for weeks already and it’s getting worse but this one is beyond anything the girl has done before. 

“Why are you so concerned anyways?” Hoseok gave her a look and she smiled mischievously. He went silent, eyes skeptical.

“Ah, her.” she quipped, a smile not faltering and that made Hoseok uneasy. 

He’s having a hard time adjusting to everything. Is he really going to be a dad? Not that he hates kids but why does it have to be now? After you confessed? Everything’s been going well for him, for you both.

“This is the last straw Sohye, don’t you dare” Hoseok grits his teeth. You can’t find out about this. You just can’t. The memory of your saddened expression because of his lack of response suddenly flashed through his eyes. He doesn't wanna let you down any more than you already are.

“Why not? Won’t she support you? You guys are best friends after all” she mused. Yes, both you and Hoseok have been since you were little, but something definitely shifted from the platonic feelings he had for you after that night. He still wants to wait it out to be sure, but it’s definitely more than how normal friends would feel and apparently you are already feeling it way longer than him and he didn’t even ask when so now he feels way worse than before.

“You don’t understand, we-” Hoseok paused. He doesn’t want her to know, though there’s no point since Sohye seems to be getting the message already. He just didn’t want to show any signs that will confirm her suspicions. 

“It’s not mine. No way in hell that’s mine” Hoseok’s rambling to himself in distress, he doesn’t know who he’s trying to convince other than himself.

“Of course it’s yours, that party remember? 2 months ago?” she cooed at him. His eyebrows are creasing together trying to rack his memory of what party Sohye is talking about. 

“I don’t think you would remember any of it, you were very drunk” she giggled and that caused Hoseok to pale. That one party was hosted by one of Taehyung’s friends where he got so drunk that he didn’t remember anything the next day.

“No, that’s impossible. Taehyung told me I didn’t do anything rash that night”. Hoseok’s fidgeting right now. He’s usually careful, but that night his tolerance seems to get the best of him. Then he started remembering bits of pieces back...

“Hey, you’re the one who dragged me to the bed you know” she smirked, winking at him.“Why the fuck would I want you in bed with me?” he noticed his voice getting louder, as he was looking around the cafe people are already giving weird looks at their table. 

“Here, watch” her smile, still annoyingly on like all of what she’s been planning this whole time has finally come to fruition. 

A video. A fucking video taken by Sohye herself, but camera was on Hoseok only for the entire time. Of him calling her your name. Of him babbling about what he feels when you’re around. Of him letting all his emotions out in the open. He thought she was you, he was only seeing you when he’s drunk.

He’s speechless. He can’t think of what to respond to that one now. Sure the pictures can easily be dismissed but this video, this damn video is making him more helpless than he’s ever been already.

“So you see Hoseok, you can’t run away from me now” still frozen in his place he didn’t even swat her hand that she put them on top of him.

.

Meanwhile, you were just outside the cafe witnessing all of these happening. It’s not like you followed him here, you just happened to pass by since you’re going for groceries which is on the next block. 

You know your best friend from the back of your hand. You can recognize him anywhere since you both have been inseparable ever since. So when you noticed his figure inside the cafe with someone, your heart clenched. 

“Is he on a date?” you murmured to yourself. Is he? But why? You just confessed last night didn’t you? Is that why he didn’t give you an answer? Cause he’s already seeing someone and just didn’t want to hurt you? You recoil at the thought of him subtly rejecting you.

Hoseok couldn’t help but look sideways through the glass wall beside him to calm down and noticed someone standing there, looking straight at him.

He instantly jerked when he recognized it’s you.

You. Standing there, facing him and Sohye but now hurriedly leaving. He yanked his hands from her hold and immediately busted out through the door, hoping to catch you.

You don’t know why you started walking faster the moment he looked back at you from inside the cafe. Why the fuck were you even so obvious? He must think you’ve been spying on him or something.

“Y/N!” his voice is so loud calling you, but agitated. Hoseok doesn’t know why he suddenly has an urge to explain to you. To explain that what you saw was nothing to worry about.

You were fiddling your phone, pretending to look for something online when you felt his hand on your shoulder. Composing yourself, you faced him with a “surprise” look.

“Hobi, hi! I was going to get some groceries, do you want something specific?” you’ve put up a great acting which made Hoseok wonder if he was only imagining what he saw earlier. 

“Uh, just buy my usual favorites hehe” his voice full of uncertainty. So he did really see you earlier lurking at him and his date. And Hoseok being Hoseok, didn’t confront you about it.

“Hobi! Wait for me” a woman’s voice suddenly interrupted you both and Hoseok paled as soon as he saw Sohye walking towards you both.

Please not now, please not yet-

“Oh you’re with someone” you’re trying to keep your voice neutral despite wanting to scream in frustration at the moment. You’re not gonna cry, you were never a crier anyways. No fucking way you’ll cry in front of Hoseok and his date. 

You feel betrayed, even if Hoseok doesn’t owe you anything. It’s not like he answered you, did he? So he can do anything he wants to do, go on dates even if you already told him how you feel.

“Y-Y/N, it’s-” before Hoseok could explain the girl already gave out her hand to shake yours.

“It’s Sohye, Hoseok’s girlfriend”. She smiled at you, a knowing one. You know her of course, she’s the majority of Hoseok’s daily complaints to you since the beginning of the semester last year so now you’re really wondering how they are together now. 

You stiffened. Your expression must be wavering since Hoseok tried to reach for you but she's already clinging into his arms to stop him. 

You can’t crumble like this, you already looked pathetic from confessing to someone who’s already taken. But then it’s not like you know right? Hoseok would’ve told you the moment you confessed but he didn’t so maybe they JUST got together earlier inside?

 “Uh Hi! Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N” you’re trying your best to show your most kindest smile even though they came out strained since you’re already dying inside.“Oh I know, Hobi told me a lot of things about you” she smiled at you, a feign one you see.

“Y/N-” you decided to cut him off, clearly you’ve interrupted something very important for them.

“I’m sorry I really have to go now, see you at home later Hoseok” you didn’t even look at his eyes and just turned away without letting him respond.

Hoseok’s distressed. He just hurt you again, and your expression earlier was even worse than the last time he saw you with it. 

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He’s a fucking coward and he knows it. He’s too nice to the point that his indecisiveness is causing the most important person of his life in pain.

“Why did you tell her that you’re my girlfriend when you’re clearly not? He barked but Sohye just laughed at him mockingly.

“Are you kidding me? You’re the father of my child so obviously you’re my boyfriend now” she retorted and Hoseok scoffed. “I’m not your fucking boyfriend and you better clarify it with Y/N”. He’s on edge right now, he knows what you’re feeling and he knows for sure that you’re mad at him.

“Anyways, I’ll update you later bye” and she kissed him on the cheek. 

The thing is, you saw everything though. After turning around when you’re supposed to be going to the convenience store, you hid at the corner of the street. To watch them, to torture yourself even more.And when you saw Sohye left a kiss on his cheek while he’s still lost in thought, you finally left. 

Arriving at the convenience store, you pulled your hoodie up trying to cover your face as much as you can. Don’t want any strangers looking at you weirdly while shopping with tears. After grabbing necessities, you proceeded to the meat section to get pork slices since Hoseok loves bulgogi. Your tears started to fall through after staring at the couple of sliced pork packs that reminded you of when you and him were having a picnic at the park.

You remember Hoseok doing the barbecues and you just stared at him the whole time, until this day you still wonder if he knew about you ogling him before. Staring at him while he’s cooking made you realize how in love you are with this boy. Not because of his handsome face but because of how he is naturally him. How his smile always brightens you up. How his sweet and caring nature made it really hard for you to quell what you feel for him anymore.

After Sohye left, Hoseok immediately went to the convenience store and saw you at the cash register, ready to pay. He cuts you off before you give out your card, “Here, I’ll pay” with a crooked heart shaped smile directly at you. Though you noticed the simmering guilt in his eyes.

“No Hobi, you paid last time so just let me” your voice came out colder than you intended it to be that made Hoseok more guilty.

The cashier was looking at you both and snickered “So who’s going to pay? I’m all for equality and shit but just decide. You young couples are always complicated” she groaned.

Both you and Hoseok are stunned with the lady’s insinuation, well obviously you can’t believe you were still blushing so you're thankful that your face is semi-covered.

“Uh-” you were about to explain that you’re not a couple but Hoseok cut you out of it. “Me, I’m paying” he smiled at her and she offered a satisfied shrug, murmuring something about how “gentleman” Hoseok is. Why didn’t he correct her? 

Hoseok offered to carry all the bags but you insisted. He must be really feeling pity for you right now. After leaving the convenience store, you both were quiet. Way different than before where you both usually banter and throw jokes at each other when walking to home.

This awkwardness needs to end.

“So, is that why you couldn’t answer me before?” you turned to him, trying to sound bold. You just want to know the truth, since he already lied to you.

“Uh no, actually-” cutting him off of his explanation you scoffed. Listen to his explanation Y/N just listen..

“You should’ve been honest with me you know, is it really hard for you?” your voice came out weaker. Since when did you both start keeping secrets to each other? Sure you do harmless small lies but not as big as this. 

“Yes, I was and Sohye isn’t my girlfriend” his voice rising with panic. Hoseok’s feeling it again, the need to clarify things to you. Maybe because he now knows what you feel? Or maybe because he just doesn't want to hurt you even more.

“You didn’t have to lie, I saw you both at the cafe clearly on a date” you stated coldly.

“That wasn’t it, you’re misinterpreting everything” his voice went quieter, now pleading.

“It’s alright Hoseok, can we drop the subject now” you glared at him and walked faster towards your shared home. 

Hoseok just sighed defeatedly, deciding to give you space since your mind is really closed for any explanation.

.

You wonder who’s going to “cook” since you can’t cook for shit but Hoseok’s pretty good though he’s very humble about it. Now that you both are in tension with each other, you were about to offer to buy take out when he beats you out of it again.

“I’ll cook, just let me Y/N” mimicking what you said earlier to him. Entering your bedroom, you gave out a big exhale to calm down and rationalize everything.

You’re being irrational and immature about the whole situation and it’s not fair for Hoseok. The smell of bulgogi made you come out of your room to the kitchen where he was preparing early dinner for you both.

A surprised gasp came out of your mouth the moment you saw how the dining table was arranged to like that of a formal date. With the fine plates and cutleries that you even forgot where you put, the mini candle light that you gifted him from last Christmas and the vase of daisies, your favourite.

“Hobi-” you started but he put his hands up to a stop.

“No, let me explain everything please” his usually warm and happy eyes look up at you sadly.

“Okay..”

“First of all, I’m sorry okay? I know you’re hurting already but please believe me when I tell you that me and Sohye are never together. She’s not my girlfriend and I didn’t lie in any means that night.” he’s fidgeting now because of nervousness.

“Hobi, I should be the one saying sorry to you for acting like that. You didn’t deserve it” you told him, voice lacing with emotion. You really grow weak when it comes to him.

Hoseok smiled with relief at you, you never show this emotional side to other people except him. He opened his arms wide and you didn’t hesitate to accept his embrace.

You stayed like that for a while, you being way calmer now because of his embrace and him running his hands through your hair while swaying you both slowly. As if doing this wouldn’t make you forgive him or something.

“Come, let’s eat. It's getting cold and oh, I cooked your favourite. I’m also making up for the dinner I missed last time” his usual sunny demeanour is back though an apologetic smile appeared on his heart-shaped lips.

“Thank you Hobi though this is too much for an apology, I can never hate you for so long” you chuckled, playfully hitting his arms.

After your make-up dinner, the atmosphere of your shared house went back to normal and you both decided to end the night with a movie.

Cuddling with him has always been your favorite. You just love skinship in general but you would never let anyone know that. You’re only like this to Hoseok anyways.

You both are debating again about the movie when you can feel the vibrations from his phone inside his pocket.

Hoseok grimaced the moment he looked at the name appearing on his phone. He looked at you but you didn’t seem to notice his reaction.

You did. Of course you did, it’s Sohye. His reaction gave it away but you pretended to be still immersed in the movie.

“Uh, I need to take this. Be right back hehe” he ruffled your hair with a strained smile and left to go outside. Props to him for being considerate, he’s trying to protect your already broken heart. 

“What” he barked on the phone as soon as he answered Sohye’s call. 

“Don’t snap at me Hoseok, did you tell her? She’s pretty down” she mused with fake sympathy on her voice.

“Is that really the only reason why you’re calling me?” Hoseok’s annoyed. This night was supposed to be a make-up night for you both and now she’s ruining it.

"No of course not, my parents want to meet you". Hoseok's blood ran cold. Sohye's parents..does this mean?

"Hey, are you even listening?!" Sohye screeched on the phone which made Hoseok put the phone away from his ears.

"Yeah I am, what the fuck do you mean meet your parents? No way" he responded with disbelief. He couldn't even wrap his head in the fact that he got someone pregnant accidentally when he was drunk and now he's already going to meet Sohye's parents?

"You will, I told them what happened and they want to meet the father of their soon to be grandchild. End of discussion" she stated coldly.

"Sohye-" before he can even try to plead to move things slow, the line went dead already.

An exhausted sigh came out of him with the new problem he's going to face from now on. Fuck.

Looking back at the house, he saw you at the doorway looking worriedly at him so he smiled to ease you.

Something's wrong. What's happening with him and Sohye? You didn't hear anything but you saw Hoseok's reaction to whoever he's calling.

You stopped him before he could continue.

"Is everything alright? you're trying to ease the obvious distress on his face but as usual he just shrugged. 

"Yeah, don't worry it wasn't Sohye" his response seems flat and he couldn't look at your eyes so you're already suspecting that he's lying. 

You pretended you didn't notice his lies and smiled back at him saying good night and retreats to your room.

.

You definitely noticed the changes in him after that night. He looks defeated and troubled every time you see him. Is this your fault? Did your confession cause all of this? But he would’ve told you differently, no?

It’s a miracle you’re catching him eating breakfast in the kitchen since had been avoiding you. “Hey Hobi you alright?” that seemed to shake him out of his thoughts. 

“Y/N, hey you scared me” he chuckled awkwardly. 

“Hobi what’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything right? I won’t judge”. He looks at you thoughtfully though you can't quite figure out what his eyes are telling you.

“I’m fine Y/N, just busy these days. You know how serious Yoongi is in this songwriting club that we just started” disappointment crossed your features at his dismissal of your concern. Maybe he just needs space, but it’s not like you’ve been clinging to him more than usual after your confession. Everything’s normal, even better, at least for you.

Hoseok flinched when he saw your disheartened face. He’s been trying to act like nothing’s going on even though he’s been frustrated on what to do next. He’s literally helpless. He needs to let this out to Namjoon since he knows he’s rational and would know what to do in any kind of situation.

“Oh okay, just tell me when you’re ready hmm?” you hoped that sounded less disappointed of him not opening to you. He didn’t even look at you when you hollered to say goodbye for class.

He couldn't look at you since he's afraid he'll slip up. He has to settle himself first before telling you. He wouldn't want to cause you any more pain so he needs to be prepared.

.

One morning, you woke up with the silent house. Maybe Hoseok went for an early jog so you helped yourself in the kitchen where you saw the breakfast that he already prepared.

“Had to leave early, here's your breakfast! :)”  - Hobi <3

Ugh, why are you still not used to him being sweet when he was always like this? Okay maybe things just magnified once you realized your feelings for him.

You wonder where he went though. Sohye? Nah, you don't think so.You both just went back to normal so you're not going to be the reason to put you both in that awkward situation again.

You dismissed your thoughts and decided to do full house cleaning since it's the weekend. And hey, you kinda miss cleaning so-

The doorbell rang and you dropped your cleaning supplies to check. That's strange, you didn't order anything so it must be Hoseok's.

He's nervous. Scratch that, he's fucking terrified of meeting Sohye's parents. Not only that, he lied to you again. This one just an addition to the rising amount of lies he now seems easily to do to his best friend.

"Just relax, they're gonna love you" Sohye's trying to calm him down by caressing his arms but he pulled away.

"Are you sure that's even mine? How do I fucking know for sure?" he hissed and Sohye whined.

"Would I fucking involve my parents if this isn't serious? You didn't know the shit I went through after they found out" her voice came out meekly which surprised him.

Hoseok paused. He's been too absorbed of what's happening to him to the point that he didn't even think of what Sohye is feeling for all of this.

Sure she annoyed the fuck outta him but if this baby she's carrying is actually his, then Sohye's going to be one of his responsibilities too.

"What? I- I thought they were supportive Sohye" his voice is calm compared to the usual harshness and this startled her.

"We're still in university, this pregnancy will delay my graduation so duh" she tried to be dismissive about it but Hoseok can see the subtle troubled look in her eyes.

When they reached the Ahn residence, Hoseok's heartbeat seemed to multiply even more. Sohye intertwined their hands and he didn't bother stopping her because he couldn't really think of anything right now.

Sohye’s parents welcomed them both and guided them to the living room where they’ll discuss the “future”. Hoseok couldn’t help but feel that he needs to make a good impression to Sohye’s parents otherwise.

“Hello, Mr and Mrs. Ahn I’m Jung Hoseok” Hoseok bowed and smiled though he still can’t meet their eyes with his own.

“Oh you’re so polite and warmingly charming” Mrs. Ahn mused with an endearing voice.

“So you are the one who knocked up my daughter” Mr. Ahn spat, eyes now glaring at Hoseok and he played with the scrutinizing eyes.

“Dad, can you please not scare him?” Sohye shrieked, shielding Hoseok from her father.

“She’s right sweetie, calm down hmm? Hoseok’s seem to be a good boy” Hoseok is kind of relieved that at least Mrs. Ahn is nicer to him than the latter.

“So when’s the wedding date?” 

Everyone went silent as soon as Mr. Ahn dropped the million dollar question.

Mrs. Ahn looked intently at the both of them while She's giving expectant looks to Hoseok who can’t seem to remove his gaze from the floor.

Finally after a long inhale of breath, Hoseok raised his eyes to face Mr. Ahn .

“With all due respect,”

“You ARE marrying my daughter am I correct?” Mr. Ahn cutting him off made him falter but he has to man up now. This isn’t something he can run away from anymore.

“Dad, me and Hobi still wanted to graduate,” Sohye stated. 

“But you both will have a child soon so it’s better to get married now before your graduation” Mrs. Ahn added, her demeanour now getting serious.

Hoseok’s panicking right now but he doesn’t care anymore if it looked obvious as he was trying to find alternative ways to escape this route, surely there has to be other than marriage. 

This will ruin everything that he's planned for himself and well, you. The thought of you made Hoseok winced.

You who he's already hurting

You who loves him for as long you could remember 

You who do not know about any of this

You who is-

"Hoseok!" hands tugging his arms made him come back to reality where Sohye's been trying to get his attention.

"Huh?"

"What's your answer going to be? Mr. Ahn and Hoseok gulped.

"I-um I'll marry her" his voice came out stable which surprised him. Is he really gonna be doing this? Get married? He's not even ready but how about Sohye? 

The thought of Sohye keeping their child from him if he ever refuses made him convinced himself that he's doing the right thing.

"Really? Omg that's great!" Sohye squealed along with her mother sharing the happiness with Hoseok's decision while Mr. Ahn was looking at Hoseok with knowing eyes.

"Come along" Sohye's father gestured him to their mansion's garden and now the nervousness is back on Hoseok's veins.

"Sir-"

"You don't love my daughter, I know.I can see it, I'm not blind kid"

Hoseok gasped lightly. Well he shouldn't be surprised since his expressions have always been obvious. Dammit why can't he be better in acting?

"I-yes you're right" he's been trying to calm down but he couldn't stop his legs from fidgeting.

"But you're marrying my daughter regardless" Mr. Ahn wondered.

"It's the right thing to do" he responded firmly which surprised the older man.

Silence ruled the both of them until Mrs. Ahn called in for lunch.

.

You opened your door to a mailman delivering what seems to be baby supplies. Huh?

"Uhm sorry, did you get the wrong address? the mailman stared back at you warily before showing you the receipt that displays Hoseok’s name.

“This is Mr. Jung Hoseok’s residence is it not?” you were caught off guard to the sassiness of the mailman so you grabbed the boxes he was holding.

“Yes, thank you” you offered an embarrassing smile.

“You’re welcome and congrats by the way” he replied while eyeing the boxes and immediately left.

You stood there for a while trying to process what the mailman just said. He thought you’re Hoseok’s wife or something? He thought you’re pregnant? Wait.

Baby supplies. Why would Hoseok need baby supplies?

And then it struck you, 

Sohye.

Your heart shattered with the revelation that you almost dropped the boxes. Why? Why would Hoseok lie to you again? You both just made up and now this?

He confuses tf out of you. He says he doesn’t wanna hurt you but here he is, hurting you even more each day.

Fuck, you feel pathetic. Bet your homegirls back in uni’s gonna laugh at how much you’ve become weak just because of a boy.

But he’s not just some boy, 

He’s your best friend,

And the love of your life

But lately with the lies and secrets, you’re not even sure if you know him anymore.

The lunch with the Ahn family consisted of talking about the wedding plans, all seems to be a blur to Hoseok as he just keeps nodding to whatever they say to him.

“Hobi, honey, when do you think is the perfect date?” Sohye grasps his arm which makes him turn to her and he’s trying not to barf with the endearment she just called him because her parents are around. 

“Uh-idk I have to talk to my folks first” he replied nervously which made both Sohye’s parents focus on him.

Fuck.

“Yeah he didn’t know about it so take it easy” Sohye whined at her parents.

“And besides, I’m not even sure if that baby is mine” he added. The sudden accusatory remark towards Sohye changed the atmosphere, cold all of the sudden and Hoseok immediately regretted the words that came out from him. 

Where in the fucking world did he even get the confidence to say out loud what’s been bugging him in this situation.

“What did you just say?” Mr. Ahn growled, actually now getting angry. Sohye went rigid beside Hoseok and speechless and Mrs. Ahn let out a surprised gasp.

Shit, it’s now or never.

“If I’m being honest, I don’t trust anything that comes from your daughter, seeing as how she’s been chasing and threatening me since the beginning of the school year” he stated, voice hard while glaring at Sohye knowingly.

“How dare you insult us in our own home?” Mrs. Ahn yelled at him. Hoseok’s confidence faltered, vanishing but he stood on his ground.

“I’m serious, I won’t marry her until I know for sure if it’s mine” Hoseok’s proud that his voice came out stable.

“Sohye, why don’t you guide Hoseok out” Mr.Ahn stated calmly which made Hoseok nervous again, the old man must have felt betrayed given how Hoseok suddenly changed his mind after their talk earlier.

The table was silent until Sohye stood up wordlessly and grabbed Hoseok towards the outside of their mansion.

Before they could even reach the gate, a sudden hand landed on Hoseok’s left cheek.

“Fuck you Hoseok” Sohye grits her teeth, eyes with fury while looking at him intently. 

No lie, that slap hurts but Hoseok didn’t even care because his eyes were on the gate.

On you.

And you’re in rage now that you witnessed what just happened and Hoseok knows how protective you are of him.

The lack of response caused Sohye followed his gaze, now on you and she laughs, hysterically.

You were already walking towards them with that furious expression, the one that actually scares Hoseok.

“HOW FUCKING DARE YOU TO SLAP HIM YOU BITCH” you screamed with fury the moment you reach the both of them and was about to grab Sohye but Hoseok stopped you just in time. 

“Y/N stop!” Hoseok’s trying to stop your arms that are reaching Sohye who’s still laughing, clearly amused by your outburst. She wonders if you already know but judging by Hoseok’s anxious eyes looking back at her, she knew it was the latter.

Well, what a perfect time.

“Oh Y/N, what are you doing here? I don’t remember inviting you” Sohye smiled at you mockingly, obviously trying to get into your skin and you’re falling for it.

“Cut the crap you bitch, how dare you-” you were about to attack again and actually almost succeeded because you actually caught her arm when-

“She’s pregnant Y/N stop!” Hoseok shouted which made you froze from flailing your arms around and you jerked in shock.

The devastated expression that emerged from your beautiful face made Hoseok’s heart lurched. He didn’t have the intention of telling you this way, this wasn’t supposed to happen.

“W-What?” your mind went blank. You came here expecting an explanation from Hoseok about the baby supplies package you received earlier. Why is he so goddamn good at hurting his best friend? No this is a joke, this has to be.

“Yes, Y/N I am pregnant and Hoseok’s the father” Sohye squealed, looking at you with those triumphant eyes with a slick smile. Wait, does she know of your feelings?

You averted your eyes to Hoseok now that the truth is out. You were hoping for a different reaction but the moment his eyes met yours, they’re full of shame. Fuck, it really hurts coming from him.

The realization finally crept into your mind with everything that's been happening to Hoseok ever since the night of your confession.

Sohye, avoiding you, going somewhere without telling you..it all makes sense now. But what's not making sense is how he kept lying to you all this time.

"Y-YN-" Hoseok is like a deer caught in headlights, guilty eyes that are now morphing into full of panic. He knows you, does he really though? He doesn't even know himself anymore.

You're usually composed, especially with other people around. You're that kind of person who remains calm even in rough commotions. But it's totally different when it involves the man you cherish and love..

And before you could reply, a middle aged couple emerged behind Hoseok who reminded you of Sohye and remembered that you're in their premises, the Ahn residence.

"What is going on here?" Mrs.Ahn eyed the three of you suspiciously, primarily staring at you. Ah, the stranger.

"Nothing Mom, this is Y/N, Hoseok's best friend" Sohye smiled sarcastically to you with those knowing eyes, challenging you to continue.

Embarrassment filled you once you came back to reality and snatched your arms from Hoseok's grasp. Breathing deeply, you tried to compose yourself before looking up at both of Sohye's parents.

"Really? I thought she IS his girlfriend given the fact that he had refused to marry you" Mr.Ahn stated coldly, still eyes on Y/N.

Hoseok turned around to face Sohye's parents, thinking of putting his arm around you but hesitated. 

He knows you're mad at him so he opted to move slowly in front of you, trying to protect you from the scrutinizing eyes of Sohye's parents. Noticing this you raised your chin and looked directly into Mr. Ahn's eyes.

"No, I'm not his girlfriend but he's one of the most important people in my life as I am to him so whatever situation you've put him through, I need to know" you seethed, eyes full of determination though the phrase "not his girlfriend" almost distracted you. 

You're surprised your voice came out confident despite the nervousness that might be etched now on your face.

"Well young lady, we were just talking with your friend about wedding preparations but seems like he's changing his mind" Mrs. Ahn glared at Hoseok.

"I already told you that I have to talk to my family first and figure out what really happened that night. I'll update you as soon as I can, I swear" he hurriedly explained, nervously looking back at you to gauge your reactions. 

"Alright then, we hope to hear from you soon". Mr. Ahn replied coldly, his eyes landing on Y/N and that made Hoseok uneasy.

Sohye's parents went back inside and you stepped back from behind Hoseok with a stoic expression, in no way you'll show Sohye how affected despite of your suspicion that she knows already.

"Brave of you to come here Y/N, but props you both are fun to watch" she chuckled and you didn’t want to give her the satisfaction so you fought yourself, bitch.

"I'm just fetching Hoseok and since I think everything's done here, we're leaving" you turned around, not waiting for any response from the both of them. You felt hurried steps behind you,trying to catch up but you didn't bother.

Inside the car, the silent tension that surrounds the both of you is deafening. Hoseok nibbled his lips anxiously, feeling your anger from the revelation earlier. It's his fault so he has to settle this down before arriving home.

"Y/N I'm sor–"

"You lied to me, again" you cut him off with a blank expression, tone contemptuous.

"I know but–"

"We promised each other after that night that there would be no lies anymore" you bristled.

"I didn't wanna hurt you more than I already am okay?!" he blurted out, eyes turning glassy. Hoseok's trying to take a deep breath to stop himself from tearing up. 

You sneered and didn't bother to respond,the nerve of him to be upset in this situation.

"I'll sleep at Namjoon's" he mumbled meekly and you quickly dropped him at his friend’s house.

“Good night Y/N” he inhaled sharply when you didn’t respond or even looked back at him. “I’m sorry” he mumbled, exiting the car with a gloomy expression.

You waited on your seat for a while, trying to hold in every emotion that has been building until he was further away. Hands turning white as you grip the steering wheel, you took a deep breath and started bawling your eyes out in pain.

In excruciating pain. What’s going to happen between you and Hoseok now? All your hopes of a future together are now shattered. It was going so well, you confessed and he gave you a chance and now this. 

.

To Namjoon’s surprise, it was a miserable Hoseok who’s standing in front of his dorm room instead of the japchae delivery he’s been expecting. He didn’t ask for more and stepped aside to let his friend in.

“Alright man what happened?” Namjoon asked worriedly and Hoseok’s tears welled up in his before exhaling deeply.

“She knows Joon” Hoseok whispered, trying to stop his tears and Namjoon sat down on the couch urging his friend to continue.

“Everything happened so fast..Y/N was going after Sohye after she saw her slap me so I had to admit the truth right there” he felt his throat closing up when he recalled your crushed reaction earlier. How he wishes he could’ve told you in a different situation.

"She'll find out eventually though" another voice replied, and Hoseok turned his head back to see another person coming in the living room. Immediately recognizing Namjoon's roommate he walked up to him and hissed,

"You told me nothing happened that night!" he yelled and poor Taehyung grabbed Hoseok's arm that's on his collar in an attempt to calm him down.

Namjoon immediately stood up in panic and rushed towards both boys, struggling to get Hoseok off from Taehyung.

"Hobi, hey, calm down" Namjoon spoke calmly and Hoseok let go of Taehyung instantly.

"Hyung, I'm sorry I swear the only time I saw you was when we were drinking and the morning after. Jungkook told me you left with someone so I thought that was Y/N coming to pick you up" the younger man reasoned with fear, knowing how Hoseok gets when he's absolutely angry.

"Well it wasn't, it was Ahn Sohye and we slept together apparently" he answered slowly, more calmer now. What's the point of blaming other people when it already happened, it's going to change anything.

Only Namjoon knew at the beginning as soon as Hoseok heard the news and told him immediately, asking for help. Meanwhile the rest of his friend group didn't know about it until, well starting now.

"Stay for the night, you're always welcome here anyways" Namjoon patted Hoseok's shoulders softly and grabbed Taehyung to set up for dinner, which just arrived when they heard a knock from the door.

"Thanks Joon, and sorry for my outburst earlier Tae" he shuffled the younger's hair affectionately.

Hoseok wasn't there in the morning and a few mornings after that. You debated to ask his sister if she knew about this whole thing or what. She could've known and just didn't want to tell you to spare your feelings but you didn't care.

Calling Jiwoo 언니..

"Hello? Y/N?" she answered cautiously. Ah, always obvious just like her little brother. 

"So you knew" you muttered passively. How could she? You both are like sisters from different mothers.

"Don't be mad please, I just found out too!" voice laced with alarm.

When you didn't reply she then proceeded to explain to you that Hoseok did go to his family to tell them the entirety of the situation. Why didn't he text you to meet there? Despite what happened, you would've been by his side, supporting him because that's what best friends do.

But then you remember last night and suddenly your anger resurfaced and you ended the call immediately, getting ready to leave only to be greeted by Seokjin at the door.

"Good morning" he smiled at you, filled with compassion.

"They sent you didn't they?" you snarled, frowning at his handsome face as you stepped aside to let him in.

"Hoseok actually since you know, you can't cook. He just wants to make sure you get a proper breakfast" he mused, rummaging the kitchen for ingredients.

"How sweet of him" you replied sarcastically, taking a seat at the kitchen counter with both hands on your face to cover your expression from Jin.

"Hey give him a break, all this is not easy for him too" he stated solemnly, giving you a serious look, placing the waffles and omelet that he just cooked.

You glared at him and started eating silently. Seeing him sit in front of you, you know he's looking at you closely deciphering your current emotions.

"I'm fine" you stated as you looked up at him and though his eyes widened at your lack of sadness, his eyes are still skeptical.

"No, you're not. We heard what happened" he answered with caution. You almost faltered but you remained composed, acting dismissive as usual.

"I AM fine, drop it Seokjin" you jeered. Seokjin wanted a reaction from you so there you have it, only anger though. He texted the rest that you seem to be alright and that they'll meet with others soon.

"Hurry, we're going somewhere" he quickly cleaned up the table and gestured to you to follow him outside. You grumbled but agreed anyways.

"If you're bringing me to Hoseok don't bother" you glanced at him blankly before looking outside the car window, obviously you don't want to seek him out unless he needs something from you.

"No you'll help us prepare, the boys want your opinion" Jin explained calmly, still wary of your mood.

You didn't answer him and just scoffed so he took it as a yes. You don't want any confrontation from the rest of Hoseok's friends but you can't really escape them so might as well.

.

Tonight, you saw the lights are on as you're walking into the driveway. 

He's home, and you're nervous on how to approach him.

“I’ll be your maid of honour” you whispered. Hoseok looked up at you, eyes surprised at your sudden conviction.

“W-What? B-but Y/N..” he tried reaching on your arm but you stepped back and that made him pause. Hoseok should feel happy that you’re going to his wedding but he can’t help but feel wrong.

“My decision’s final, I don’t care but don’t try to stop me. I already confirmed with your sister” you stated coldly, still not looking into his eyes.

"I don't like hurting you, Y/N please. You don't have to attend the wedding, it's fine with me" his voice pleading, still trying to convince you despite your final decision earlier.

See? How can you not love him? Even in rough times like this, he is still considerate of your feelings.

You sighed, “Don’t be ridiculous, I’m your best friend and this is an important part of your life so I should be there” you stated, finally looking back into his eyes.

You're not gonna cry

You're not

You're getting tired of it..

Focusing on other thoughts to stop yourself from crying you didn't notice Hoseok approaching you slowly. When his hands cupped your face, it broke out your reverie.

"Y/N, I-"

You already have a feeling of what he's going to say the moment you met his eyes earlier, they've always been so expressive.

"Don't. Not now Hoseok, not anymore" you looked at his eyes that mirror with your sadness. He inhaled sharply, eyes changing with determination.

"No, Y/N" the way he says your name with a smile is making you nervous and before you could muster a response, a pair of soft lips touched yours and you immediately closed your eyes.

Is this finally happening? Hoseok kissing you? You only hoped about this before but you didn't think it's finally happening. He feels the same now right?

"Hoseok.." you croaked breathlessly after you released each other. He didn't release his hold on your face in which you're leaning, hoping that this is not only your imagination.

"Let me show you.. please.." his eyes begged. Not gonna lie, you've been waiting for this moment to happen but you both see it in a different way. 

Him, showing gratitude while you..

While you're taking advantage of him for your own selfish reasons.

Bringing your hands up on top of his face, you smiled back at him and nodded.

He’s giving you a chance, though this seems like charity even but you don’t care anymore.

So you did.

Hoseok woke up the next day feeling relieved but mostly happy to have finally shown you his feelings, though he’s not sure if you heard his declaration last night. Expecting your presence beside him he turned around and reached out, only to find an empty space.

Suddenly sitting up in dread, he looked around trying to find you. Getting up and hastily putting on his clothes, he went outside directly to the kitchen but you are nowhere to be found. His chest tightened at the thought of you leaving him after what happened last night.

Was he too forward? But you gladly accepted him. Was that an act? D-did you already fall out of love from him?

Before he could continue his thoughts, his phone dinged beside him at the counter. Though he’s expecting Sohye, the text surprisingly came from his sister.

[지우 Noona: Y/N’s and I are in the boutique right now, where are you?]

[Hobi: jwu why? am I needed somewhere?]

[지우 Noona: Go meet with the wedding planner with Sohye in an hour]

He was gonna ask about you but hesitated. Why didn't you text him or leave a note? You just acted like nothing happened and that made Hoseok concerned.

Damn. When you said you'll help with the wedding preparations, you didn't expect to be leading the way. Apparently, that's Hoseok's request according to the wedding planner. 

You've been giving your all into this, most likely because you want to distract yourself from what happened that night and what will happen in the wedding. You keep thinking of why Hoseok would want you when clearly, he doesn't feel anything for you.

Or does he? 

You weren't sure if you were just imagining him saying "I love Y/N" when his arms were holding you tight after your rendezvous the night before. It must be your subconscious trying to fulfill your innermost desire, for your best friend to love you back.

"Hey, Y/N you alright? You look a little worned out" Jiwoo looked at you worriedly, running her eyes around your face.

Yeah your brother drained tf out of me..

"WHAT?!!" you jerked with her shrieking and then you realized you said that thought out loud and your face flushed with shame.

Fuck.

"Uh-" now you can't look at her eyes, cheeks going red with what you just told her.

fuckfuckfuck

"Omgggg, now I get why" she happily mused that made you raise your eyebrows back at her.

"Wtf why?" you shifted uncomfortably, never before you've been this aloof to Hoseok's sister until now.

"I texted him earlier but he said he's still at home at this time which surprised me" she teased, wiggling her eyebrows at you.

"He's about to get married, you know" you smiled bitterly, gaze focusing on the white wedding dress on display. Would've been lovely if you're the one who's getting married to Hoseok.

"And? It's not like he and Sohye are in a relationship" she huffed. Jiwoo's right but somehow, that didn't change the already creeping guilt inside you.

"Whatever, that's never happening again" you scoffed but she looks at you suspiciously.

"I'm serious, I value marriage and it will be a form of cheating if that happens again after the ceremony so, no" you firmly stated, looking away. You've been planning to distance yourself after the wedding since that would be what's best for both you and Hoseok.

Jiwoo looked at you wistfully, with sympathetic eyes that you've been getting used to from the people around you the moment Hoseok and Sohye's wedding was announced.

 "Y/N, I'm sorry you have to feel this way. I know how much you love him" she replied softly, laced with emotion since you're like a little sister to her, after all she was hoping you'll end up with her little brother.

"It's okay, I'm used to it" you smiled curtly, your expression changing back to neutral like it has always been.

.

Since you've put all your time into the wedding preparations which clearly affected your academic performance, the preparations went smoothly as you planned.

Hoseok's been trying to corner you, but you're silently thankful for the people who keep distracting him because you're clearly not ready to talk to him.

Isn't that what you've always wanted? Now why are you running away? I mean you are going to eventually but you promised you'll be there for him. Fuck it, just a little bit more..

On the night before his wedding, you've stayed in your hotel room again like what you've been doing the entire time when you know Hoseok's around. You didn't even go to the bachelorette party you were clearly invited for and he's having a stag night too.

Around 3am you were awakened by loud knocks of your hotel door and for the sake of other guests on this floor, you dragged your feet and opened the door impulsively. 

Only to see a drunk Hoseok, groggily smiling at you.

"Why are you here? It's already early morning" you hissed and he just giggled in response.

"Wanna see you" he pouted and you gestured to him just in case he'll vomit which is about to happen as you see his face contorted.

"Fuck come here quick!" you're rubbing his back as he releases all remnants of his stomach into the toilet when he staggered.

"Y/N I'm sorry" his voice sounded so broken and you straightened yourself. He's not gonna remember anything in the morning anyways so what's the point.

You didn't answer him but you helped him clean up and before you can even talk to him, he's already knocked out on your bed. Should you call someone to get him? But everyone's asleep now, screw it.

You stayed beside Hoseok, staring at his sleeping face for the last time, the last time you'll be able to be this near to him since he'll be a married man tomorrow. You can't stop your tears as you run your hands through his face.

"I love you Hoseok, I love you so much that I am letting you go" you stopped yourself to cry louder in case it'll wake him up. You wrapped your arms around him, relishing a few hours of selfishness on your own end.

.

The morning comes and you're dreading to let go of Hoseok. He woke up with you already staring at him and you jerked. 

"Here are painkillers, drink that before you go" you handed them to him but he grabbed you wrist instead, silently pleading you to look at him.

"Y/N, let's run away" he croaked. Hoseok actually heard you the night before, heard you letting go of him and it crushed everything in him, hearing your voice so broken because of him and he wants to make you feel better even though you both know how late it is already.

"What? Are you crazy? You're getting married hours from now" you yelled at him. You've never lashed out on him like this but his plan is ridiculous. You're already guilty of sleeping with him and now he wanted to elope?

"I don't care, I just–" a knock from the door made him pause and your eyes widened. Fuck fuck fuck. You and Hoseok looked at each other's eyes full of panic now.

You walked towards the door and prepared yourself for any interrogation when you were met with sleepy eyes and a smirk.

"Wtf do you want Yoongi" you seethed, you haven’t slept properly since you tried to stay awake as much as possible.

After hearing that it's only his friend, Hoseok appeared behind you, with a relief expression.

"You two looked like shit, be thankful I volunteered to get him" he snickered and you glared at him.

"Nothing happened" you answered nonchalantly but Yoongi's teasing smirk is still on so you turned back to Hoseok but then you're suddenly enveloped with a firm hug, with Hoseok's face nuzzling your neck.

"Thank you" he hummed and released you. You can tell through his eyes that he wanted to stay longer and talk to you more but you shake your head.

"Alright man let's go, they've been looking everywhere for you" Yoongi grabbed Hoseok who's still reluctant to leave. 

"Go, Hoseok" you slightly push him towards Yoongi with a serious tone and just when they were about to leave, Jiwoo suddenly appeared in the corner.

“I knew it, I should’ve looked here first. Thank you Yoongi” the boy just nodded back at Jiwoo gave you the "i told you so" look, though not judgmental, you felt the need to clarify to prove your point the last time you talked.

.

Time of the wedding,

Time to let Hoseok go, permanently.

You are the maid of honour so you have no choice but to put on a happy face especially in front of Hoseok's parents who were constantly checking on you during preparations with apprehension.

After the bridesmaids and groomsmen have walked the aisle, it's finally your turn and it fucking sucks since you have to walk alone.

You took a deep breath before raising your chin up, and faced everyone as they looked at you walking up to the altar. However, your eyes are only on Hoseok as you imagine that it was you he's waiting for, not the actual bride behind you.

Hoseok is doing the same thing, ironically. He's imagining that it's you he is marrying, the person he truly loves but it's too late for that so he should just focus on Sohye.

He continued his daydreaming until Jungkook nudged him since the youngest best man is the closest to him than the other 6, breaking his thoughts and facing the reality that Sohye is the bride, not you.

When the officiant asked if there was someone who disagrees with the couple's union, your body wanted to stand up and tell everyone how you really feel. You felt Jiwoo's arms around your shoulders, hoping to provide the comfort that you needed but you shrugged her arms off.

You wouldn't mind usually but you're in her little brother's wedding and you've been refusing to meet Hoseok's eyes until the officiant proceeded with the next part of the ceremony. You can't look at him or else you'll crumble and there's no way you'll embarrass yourself in front of his family and yours.

Surprisingly, your parents came when you invited them. It would usually have to be Hoseok or any of his family members invite them to come though you already have a suspicion that it's not the only reason why.

“Do you Jung Hoseok, promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her and hold only unto her forever more?” this caused you to finally look back at Hoseok. He stayed silent for a few moments which made everyone chatter in whisper but as soon as his eyes found yours, he smiled, full of longing.

"I do"

You closed your eyes as tears fell from them, unable to hold his gaze anymore. It might be improper to look back on the best night of your life but you can’t help it, you just want to hear Hoseok say it again, over and over.

“I love you Y/N” 

Another morning of Hoseok waking up without you in his life. Tears ran down the sides of his face when he remembered, but this one is longer and the clearest of them all.

That dream's too vivid for him to handle. He smiled bitterly as he remembered all the memories, starting from the beginning up until the shift of your friendship that severed you both.

Chuckling pathetically at himself to even have the audacity to think of you when he's the very main reason you were gone. He just misses you so much. 

In your absence, he indulged himself into alcohol only because he remembers you nagging him to be mindful of his tolerance. He knows it's not good for him, but it's the only way to forget his pain of losing you.

It's not like he's being irresponsible to the point of getting piss drunk, he just drinks when he's alone because that's when the thought of you creeps back into his mind.

Getting up to face another day of wallowing, he decided to come down to the basement to do some cleaning. The mini studio, the only thing he has of you left. This is the reason why he didn't wanna sell the house in the first place.

He then went to a nearby speaker and set the song you both choreographed ages ago, another memory coming up, haunting him.

"Alright that's it, it's been a minute! Surely that's enough right?" you whined at Hoseok, heaving since you've been dancing for like hours now.

"It's less than a minute! Come on, we're just doing the extended chorus" he giggled and you rolled your eyes.

"But yeah, we don't have to do the whole song" his eyes trained on you and the folded Led Zeppelin shirt on the chair. You followed his gaze through and found him eyeing your precious shirt.

"I'm gonna wear it when we're filming this dance, it's from my grandma remember? And I'm gonna pair it with those red orange pants you gifted me on my birthday" you fondly explained to him. 

Hoseok never took you for being sentimental since you always act dismissive when you receive gifts from him.

The voice of Troye Sivan echoing throughout the room brought him back to the present reality. He still feels you around the house, especially here so he went in front of the mirror and readied himself.

He looked back at his reflection in the mirror, instantly seeing you beside him with an affectionate smile. He lets himself give in to his imaginations, just this time. Starting the moves smoothly, Hoseok will always remember this choreo out of all the ones he made because it's you.

Always have been you but he was a coward for not acting on his feelings earlier. The song ended and he fell into his knees, hitting the floor while another gut-wrenching sobs escaped his mouth.

You laid out your feelings for him but he doubted himself when he clearly feels the same so now here he is. 

Still in grief full of regrets..

Still wishing you'll come back to him..

Still clinging to the ghost of you..

taglist : @hobisnesseu @ggukkieland​ @sheprocrastinatesalot @hoebii @jeonsbun @iamscharene​

It's up to you where Y/N is or what happened to her :')

And yes the dance is by Hobi and Ryujin from Highlight Reel ♡

Thank you for reading! Feedback's greatly appreciated! 

©  ressjeon 2021. do not repost, modify, or translate.