#omg this has been sitting in drafts for so long I'm so sorry

[aphverse-confessions]

yeah a lot of people talk about how weird the yaoi zane era was. everyone knows about yaoi zane im not here to bring it back

anyway i understand the purpose of the cishet zane era (overcorrection in response to yaoi overload) but damn those were some of the worst takes i ever did see. definitely indicative of that era of fandom where good = diverse.

like the influx of skinny zane art by people who simultaneously insisted that it was wrong to draw aph skinny because she's canonically chubby.

the zanchan hate that centered on how zane was an awful person which could be it's own ask tbh

ive literally been in discord servers where "eluding to zane in a way that can be interpreted as fem" was blacklisted. as if canon zane isn't already the aphverse's most prolific drag queen.

once i saw an ethnicity hc post where zianna was some sort of middle eastern but zane "didn't count as a poc" bc he couldn't handle spicy food? unironically.

i literally joined aphblr specifically to heal tbe ecosystem. thars the only reason i made my account.

.

[shai-manahan]

I love how you described Alonzo feeling embarrassed (?). Like how it's hard to notice at first, but there's still somehow a slight reddish color on their ears. As someone with a darker skin tone and is surrounded by similar people, it's a description I appreciate! Thank you so much💗

Thank you as well, anon! It's also something I can attest to; my friends always notice whenever I blush despite my skin color lmao. During that scene (I'm assuming this was on Chapter 1?), it definitely helps that the distance between the MC and Alonzo isn't that huge considering that they're in a closed space, so it's a lot easier to notice. Using the word "blushed" in there would probably have worked, but the implications are also easy to misunderstand, so I'm glad you liked how I opted to do it instead!

[lastofthemadones]

6 Songs on Repeat

Tagged by @littleberrybat

1. Year of the Vulture - The Wonder Years

2. Casual - Chappell Roan

3. Reckless Driving - Lizzy McAlpine

4. You Were Perfect & I’m Sorry - Mickey Darling

5. In Lieu of Flowers - Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties

6. Heavy - Peach PRC

I'm terrified of tagging people but if y'all wanna share what you're listening to, I wanna get new recs

[planetpiastri]

pairing: lando norris x fem!australian!reader [no faceclaim] summary: honestly, you kind of expected this part-time gig to just be four days of pure chaos that gave you an excuse to see an f1 race up close. then some guy in the fanzone complimented your shoes, and the rest is history. notes: requested by anon!! this has been sitting in my drafts for aaaaages, sorry love <3 y'all are so brave for putting up with me while i try and remember how tf to write these uhhh yeah this one took a turn hope u like it anyway LMFAO

liked by oscarpiastri, ynusername, and 13,024 others

ausgp Arriving in style! The lads looked great at the Melbourne Walk today 🤩🤩

view all 1,654 comments

username1 lewis and zhou are absolutely slaying!! and oscar is also there

ynusername oscar i love you but you gotta step up your game mate, i wanna wear your merch so bad but it is UGLY!!

landonorris excuse me ausgp i think my fit was deserving of recognition in this post :(

ausgp Can't compete with the hometown hero 🤷‍♂️ landonorris but daniel isn't in this either ? oscarpiastri You're funny.

landonorris

liked by mclaren, ausgp, and 811,364 others

landonorris he shoots, he scores! thanks for such a warm welcome melbourne :)

view all 7,023 comments

oscarpiastri You and I have different definitions of scoring I think

landonorris ever heard of playing the long game? oscarpiastri Nurse he's out again

username2 where's the worker with the shoes i think they're indirecting her

username3 GET THIS MAN THE SHOE LADY'S DIGITS

maxfewtrell Now that's just uncalled for

ausgp Love to see the spirit 😉

username4 aww lando always looks so happy in melbourne, he loves it here :'))

ynusername oh wtf

liked by ausgp, yourfriend, and others

ynusername busy busy busy day, absolutely buggered, but very excited for tomorrow 😁 (also peep The Shoes on the last slide)

view all 89 comments

yourfriend i mean... he's right, they are sick shoes

ynusername you're just saying that cos you made me buy them yourfriend well yes!

username5 omg are u the girl who was working the fanzone today??

ynusername i was one of them!

username6 ok if this is the shoe lady i don't blame lando for staring she's so pretty omg

yourfriend "the shoe lady" ynusername i've been titled?????

ynusername

liked by yourfriend, landonorris, and others

ynusername weirdest work day ever (included today's shoes bc apparently it's a thing now)

view all 112 comments

yourfriend that wrap was good as hell tho

ynusername deffo the most exciting part of lunch

username7 wait who is this girl and why does lando follow her?

username8 go to lovestruckln on twitter, she has a whole thread about it!

landonorris ...weird in a good way, right?

username9 your lack of rizz is astounding lando username10 bro STAND UP ynusername weird in an interesting way landonorris i'll take that

landonorris

liked by ynusername, ausgp, and 1,011,023 others

landonorris melb, you have my ❤️

view all 8,327 comments

username11 SHOE GIRLLLLLL

username12 i hope they never hard launch and he just keeps posting pics of cool sneakers

georgerussell63 You're welcome

charles_leclerc You did it, you crazy son of a bitch ausgp Where's our credit?? georgerussell63 You put the pieces in play, I moved them into checkmate ynusername you threw a shoe at me. calm down. ausgp He what???

username13 bro's collecting aussies like infinity stones

danielricciardo ?? oscarpiastri No ynusername :// landonorris 😁😁

ynusername you're cool ig 🙄

landonorris your swag style and utter disdain for me has captured my heart ynusername oh my god stop i'm blushing

tagging: @thearchieves @sheridamn @nikfigueiredo @charlig123456789 @ilove-tswizzle @aandreea2005 @sideboobrry @vellicora @eire-the-egg @marymustdie @cocote1410 @taygrls @koalapastries @vroomvroommuppett @nichmeddar @d3kstar @333kiki @ririyulife @resident-swiftie @zimm04 @jupiter-je-taime @ever_bizzare @clemswrld @hollieeelol @leireggsworld @ironmaiden1313 @lunar-racing @lightninginab0ttle @maddie-naps @bwddermilch @pnkwhskyprncss @landossainz @chaotic_version

request: hiya! i love how funny your smau’s are and i’m begging for an aussie!reader x Lando one. maybe she works for the AusGP and they met in Melbourne? idk -anon

[sugume]

STOLEN TOUCHES — NANAMI KENTO

✧･ﾟ You were just trying to get a better angle.  

( TW ) f!reader, stepdad!Nanami, highly suggestive, teasing, touched starved Nanami, age gap (reader is 26, Nanami is in his 40's).

note. this was just sitting in my drafts omg I forgot to post 😭 this is for the anon that requested!! sorry you had to wait so long i swear I thought it was queued!

Nanami steps into the dark foyer of his home, taking off his work shoes. He winces from the pain; he’s been running around like a headless chicken in the office. He was supposed to get off hours ago. Nanami shrugs his suit jacket off and hangs it on the small rack before turning the corner. A small part of him had wished you would’ve been up, watching TV in the living room, but as he walked further into the house you were nowhere to be seen. He sighs in disappointment before making his way upstairs.  

Your mother isn’t waiting for him, obviously. She’s probably out with another one of her many men. God, he shouldn't have folded under pressure when she had asked him to open the 'monogamous’ relationship they had. His shoulders slump at the neatly made king-sized bed that sits in the corner of his room. He walks to his closet to grab a pair of satin pajamas you had bought him before making his way to the bathroom. He sets his clothes on the counter before stripping down to his boxers and walking over to the tub. He leans down to turn the water to the perfect temperature. 

“Kenny!” You squeal wrapping your arms around his naked waist from behind. He jumps in surprise before grunting in pain. 

“Kenny? What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” You ask, pulling away. Kento turns quickly despite the pain and grabs your arms. 

“Sweetheart! Nono, you didn’t hurt me. Why are you up?” He questions and you smile sweetly at him. 

“Kenny don’t lie! And I'm up because I’m currently an unemployed twenty-six-year-old who had to move back home. Now,” You clap, stepping in-between his legs. “Tell me why you winced like I stabbed you and don’t lie.” 

Nanami stuck in a breath and your close proximity. 

“Jus’ had a long day at work that’s all. Stupid cramped muscles don't worry about it, sweetheart.” He answers in one long breath before inhaling your sweet smell. Was that too obvious? 

“Well, I can give you a massage if you want, ‘cus my mom isn’t to give you one.” You spit on the last part before staring back up at your Stepdad.  

“You don’t have—” 

“Shush, I want to! C’mon, let's go to bed when you can get comfortable. We gotta hurry ‘fore your bath overfills.” You pull Kento's arm, dragging his heavy body up and out of the master bathroom.  

"Sit—scoot a little further—no your back to the pillow silly!” You laugh. 

“Aren’t you giving me a massage sweetheart?” Kento frowns, confused but complies anyways.  

“Yep!” You lift a leg to the bed and blink your thick lashes at him before lifting the other and crawling onto his lap. 

“Sweetheart—” Kento blushes, hands going to your hips to push you off but also to hold you there. 

“Calm down Kenny! This is just a massage; I've read you can get the shoulders better this way,” You lie, putting your hand onto your stepdad's neck and squeezing. “Just shut your eyes and relax.” You whisper dragging your hands down Kento's’ arms. You squeeze your way back up before gliding your palms to his peaks and resting them on his hard nipples. He grunts when you dig your thumbs and knuckles into his chest, throwing his head back onto his headboard. His grip on your hips tightens and he swears he feels you sit on his lap. 

“Feels good?” You mummer watching your stepdad's Adam apple move. You can’t help but bring your hands up and caresses it. Nanami groans.  

“Mhm.” 

“Sit up so I can get your back, Kenny.” You push on the back of his neck. You smile when his face falls into your chest. Before he has a chance to move you hold the back of his neck with one hand, the other squeezing at his shoulder blade. 

Nanami can feel his cheeks heat in arousal. He hasn’t been touched like this in so long maybe he’s just imagining the tension between you two. He doesn’t have the balls to act on this anyway, he doesn’t want to scare you off.  

“Sorry, gotta get comfortable.” You whisper in his ear as you grind down. You bite the inside of your cheeks when you feel his hard cock graze your pussy. Nanami holds in a groan. Fuck if you keep doing that, he's going to cum in his underwear. 

“Sweetheart,” 

“Hm?” You dig your knuckle onto tense knots in his back. 

“Oh, fuck sweetheart, just like that.”  

“Doin’ good Kenny?”  

“Yes, b-but,” He breathes heavily on your breast. “But my bath waters gonna overfill.” He looks up at you. You move your hand to cup his neck. 

“Oh, well how about we continue this in the tub?” You smile down at Kento. His eyes widen, mouth agape. 

“What!?” 

“Kidding! Gosh, look at your face! I’m gonna go watch some TV, goodnight. Have fun in your bath.” You crawl off his lap, giving him a good view of your ass in the short shorts you were wearing. You look back and smile innocently.  

What you really meant to say was you were going to masturbate about what just happened. Don’t worry, Kento was going to too. 

[garciaasfluffypen]

omg this prompt is perfect for Emily 😂😂 1- “Don’t look at me, I was still dead at the time.”

could be x reader or maybe even emily x elle 👀🤷🏻‍♀️

don't look at me

pairing: emily prentiss x gn!reader, jelle mentioned! word count: 997 disclaimer: alcohol consumption, weed mention a/n: the way this has literally been sitting in my drafts for AGES becuase life just got so crazy with grad school and work. anyway i finally wrote it and i'm sorry it took so long! also, you're so right bestie, that is very emily coded and you can say it again for the people in the back!!!!!! i'm also not sure how i feel about the ending buuuuut here we are

you had been at the bau for approximately two years before you realized the team had a giant secret they hadn’t told you yet. 

to be fair, you had joined the team right after emily’s departure, however, no one had ever gone into details on what that entailed. considering how fresh it had been when you arrived, you didn’t blame them one bit. you had expected them to be less… nonchalant when they told you what had happened, especially as garcia flung herself into emily’s arms for what appeared to be the first time in forever. that was four years ago. it was now your sixth year with the bau, and approaching your first full year dating the brunette in question.

you had always gotten lesbian vibes from her, but didn’t want to make a move in case you were wrong. jj was the one to push you to ask her out. you could never thank the blonde enough, especially considering you now had ties to dc that would never let you leave. in the past eleven months, emily had made sure to make all the time in the world for you when you were off the clock. she was absolutely amazing at separating work emily and home emily, and you fell more in love with her every passing moment. she always made sure your favorite perfumes were full, or that the sweater you liked to wear around the apartment was always laying on the couch when you got home from cases. it never went unnoticed how she was always there for you and the team. 

that was probably how you found yourself hosting another girls night, with the girls of the bau and jj’s new girlfriend, elle. they explained to you how they used to work together and how jj was there for her after everything happened with the fisher king way back when. it took them a while to realize jj was bi, but when they did they slipped into what it was they had now. you liked elle. she was good for jj. and as a bonus, she got along well with emily as well. it was quite funny how fast they had clicked, considering they both had very standoffish moods when you first meet them. jj joked at one point that they had been stolen from you two, but it was all fun and games considering both girls loved you endlessly. your apartment had become the top hangout spot for girls nights, considering you two had gotten yourself a hot tub after a particularly hard case that caused you to blow your knee out. many a nights were spent in the hot tub, bottles of wine split between the five of you and sometimes edibles if you were feeling adventurous. garcia had been the one to bring up the idea, and frankly you all didn’t have the heart to tell her no. as long as you all didn’t do it too frequently, it was fine. 

the night drew on and the third bottle of wine had been opened, the group shifting to sitting in the living room after three boxes of pizza were split between everyone. a random chick flick was on in the background as everyone laid around, laughing as jabs were exchanged. you had curled up into emily’s side on the loveseat, the two of you sharing your favorite blanket that had been crocheted for you by your mother. it was a beautiful gray to black ombre, with little hints of yellow scattered throughout to symbolize stars. emily had claimed it pretty quickly after you moved in with her, and it had turned into the blanket you two typically used at home when watching movies or sitting in the living room scrolling through facebook. the one rule for this blanket was that it didn’t leave the apartment- you two couldn’t risk anything happening to it. 

“listen,” elle chuckled, jolting you out of your thoughts. “all i’m saying is i would have beat everyone’s asses so hard at beer pong.”

garcia gasped into her wine glass. “have you met morgan? he’s the king of beer pong.” 

“yeah, and we fucked too.” 

jj rolled her eyes. “you and morgan didn’t fuck, my love. he would never have shut up about it if you did.” 

“you know who i think did something?” elle raised her eyebrows mischievously. “emily and morgan.” 

“yeah, hard no on that one. he’s like my older brother.” emily took a sip of her wine. “and he has like ten other girls draping over his arms at any given point.” 

“you’re telling me you’ve never looked at him and said ‘damn’? i don’t believe you.” 

“there’s only one time they ever considered it. it was after derek found out what sin to win weekend was.” 

you looked over to emily. “sin… to win?” 

“and i always win big.” emily smirked at you, winking. 

“wait wait wait,” jj looked over to garcia. “when did derek find out what sin to win was?” 

“uuh… a few years ago? around the time of the case where he thought his cousin was one of the victims.” 

“that would have been roughly the same time as the one sin to win weekend you missed.” elle pointed an accusatory finger towards emily. 

“don’t look at me,” emily jokingly gasped. “i was dead at the time!” 

“you were also overseas,” you pointed out. “enjoying the beignets without me.” 

“to be fair we hadn’t met yet.”

“mm it was close enough to the time we did meet. should have saved me a beignet.” you shrugged playfully. 

“oh shut up.” emily rolled her eyes. “if you hadn’t taken that business trip to france you never would have met me.” 

“mmmm that’s debatable. i would have found you either way.” 

garcia squealed. “oh you guys are so cute! stop being so cute. i hate being single.”

“we’ll find you someone eventually, pen.” elle patted her on the shoulder sympathetically. “i promise.” 

[fieldsofwriting]

Could you do a part two to the ask about blurting out a confession to the love interests? I just know March would be a blushy mess

Omg yes. This has been sitting in my drafts forever- I'm so sorry!! But here it is for you!

(More below the cut!)

Friday nights at the Inn were a good way to let loose after a long week. And so, here you were, drinking away at the bar without a care in the world.

You and March are a giggling mess next to each other. Laughing, talking, and sharing longing glances. As most of your drunken interactions go.

But tonight it was different- for you at least. The way that March's cheeks were flushed, how his eyes crinkled with he laughed. His...well everything.

You had to tell him how you felt.

So, after downing more of your drink you turn to him. Grabbing his cute little cheeks and squishing his face. "March. March I need to tell you something."

March gently takes your wrists and holds them. Nodding. "Yeah?"

"I am like- grossly in love with you."

March's entire face both falls and lights up at the same time. Twisting into a scowl and he pulls your hands away, "Don't joke like that Y/N."

But you shake your head, "I'm not! I like you so much, you are just-" You got to squish his cheeks again but he stops you. "You started out mean but thats not the real you. You're kind, and funny, you smell good! Like a campfire! You have a big heart- under all that mean you really are just...perfect." You gaze at him lovingly. But March's face continues to redden.

"If you don't cut the bullshit I'm gonna kiss you." He snaps.

And you smirk. "Blah, blah, blah I'm in love with you, blah, blah, blah!" You tease.

March cups your cheeks and pulls you in for a tender kiss. The whole bar quiets for a moment before you two pull away.

March looks away, blushing madly. "...I'm in love with you too."

A/N: I hope you enjoyed!! I'm so sorry it took me so long!!

[mrs-weasley-reid]

I love 'Cases and Candie'! Could you perhaps write one about the first time the reader does this with the team all confused? If not that's cool. ❤️

STARTING A TRADITION•••

bau team x bau!reader Cases and Candies prequel

Sypnosis: you have a lot of sweets up in your sleeves. WARNING: nothing. all fluff. A/N: OMG YESSSSS! This has been sitting in my drafts for 2 months but I've been so busy to post it! Sorry for the long wait and I hope you enjoy! <3

To say that the case was tiring is an understatement. The BAU team is shattered. Dozing off. Sore necks. Two weeks of an exhausting case rendered everyone overdue for an uninterrupted forty-eight hours of slumber.

Granted, the next few days were reserved for catching up on paperwork. A little slack off the weight of the recent case. Nonetheless, it didn't make any BAU agents feel better.

Your eyes barely managed to stay open while you got off the jet, almost causing a domino effect if it wasn't for Hotch's alert reflexes. You tripped on a step and were about to lay your weight on poor lanky Spencer Reid when Hotch caught the back of your collar, choking you awake.

The drive back to Quantico wasn't any restful than you'd hoped, either. Emily drove on the verge of dozing off, freestyling on the traffic lane. You, JJ, and Spencer were bombarded with honking cars and a few patrons cursing, all while praying for your lives to be spared. Surprisingly, you all managed to get to the parking lot in one piece.

In the elevator, it felt like someone had died. The silence was deafening, yet none of you disrupted it, submerging yourselves with little peace. In fact, none of you realized that the elevator doors had slid open until it lost patience and closed the doors.

Emily exclaimed, "The doors! Push! Push!"

Spencer absentmindedly jammed the button for the doors to open.

"That's enough, Reid." Derek placed a hand on Spencer's shoulder as he exited the elevator.

Everyone emerged from the small lift, sluggishly dragging their feet on the linoleum floor.

"Good evening," Strauss greeted with an apologetic look.

Rossi was the first to express his immediate opposition to whatever the section chief was about to say. "I told you," He turned to Hotch, "We should've just gone straight home."

Strauss sighed with a tight lip, "I'm sorry, everyone, but I need your brief action reports about your recent case by tonight." She would've turned a blind eye if she could, but the higher-ups were on her neck, too. She could only offer a pitiful, awkward smile.

Simultaneously, all of you groaned like children. But something caught your attention when you hoisted your go-bag under your arm.

You felt small pebbles poke on your side the tighter you held your bag close. And soon, it clicked. You remembered the small pouch of candies you bought on your way to the airport.

You had the habit of rewarding yourself with sweets, no matter how huge or small your deed was. So, when you saw the adorable packaging at the souvenir shop in the hotel lobby, you didn't think twice.

You planned to indulge in it when you got home, but your colleagues seemed to need the tiny reward as well. And as a kind and thoughtful human being—looking over the part where Derek stole your last chocolate bar—you decided to share your little source of dopamine.

Everyone slugged to their respective cubicles or offices.

Spencer's head dove into his desk, eyes blown wide and red. He was shaking like he was about to explode. It made sense for someone who downed three mugs of coffee, and yet his body couldn't cooperate with anything he wanted to do.

Emily repeatedly smacked the thin manila folder atop her head, "Absorb it. Absorb my brain. I don't wanna write!" She whined childishly.

Derek laughed at the two of them, unaware of him writing with a pen that ran out of ink. His grin dropped as soon as his eyes looked down on his paper.

Hotch finally entered the bullpen, returning from a short conversation with Strauss. His face no longer held his stoic expression but instead masked with exhaustion and frustration.

Before Hotch retreated inside his office, he leaned against the railing, looking over the three agents and you. "Just write as much as you can in an hour, then you may go." He announced and shut his door.

You quickly stood up, catching the other three agents' attention. You held a smile on your face, which left them confused and annoyed at the same time.

"No offense, but I really want to punch that smile off your face right now," Emily grumbled, fanning the folder on her face to keep herself awake.

"Yeah, I hate it too." Spencer agreed, rubbing his eyes frustratedly.

You rolled your eyes at Spencer, "Weren't you the one to say that smiling can trick your brain into happiness?" You reasoned, taming your excitement over a small piece of candy.

Spencer blinked slowly. You didn't need 187 IQ to know that he was planning your murder in detail in his head while he glared at you in silence.

"What about sweets?" You waved your small pouch in front of them. "This one was kind of expensive. I was going to share it with everyone, but I guess everyone is too tired for a piece of candy." You shrugged, slowly putting your hand down.

"Hold on!" Emily rolled her seat to peek over your cubicle, "Are those liquor-filled candies?"

Derek's ears rang, lifting his gaze up. "A what-what candy?"

"Each candy has alcohol. Well, most of them. I bought assorted candies." You said, drawing the boy genius in.

"D-did you know that eating s-sweets quickly goes from the stomach to the bloodstream and then to the brain, where it causes a surge in dopamine?" Spencer almost drooled as he followed the sway of your pouch.

You grinned teasingly, "Is that so?"

He nodded vigorously, licking the bottom of his lip as his eyes sparkled.

"Shoot," Derek winced, clutching his leg. "Kicking doors for two weeks makes you sad. I think a piece of candy that has brandy would help."

Emily glared at Derek, "I..." She craned her neck, pointing at the to-go cup on her desk. "I think the coffee burned my tongue! I need something to test if my taste buds are ruined. Say a candy or something." She glanced at your pouch.

"Halloween is a month from now," Spencer announced as if it was enough reason for you to give him a piece of candy.

You scoffed a laugh, shaking your head. "Fine," You opened the pouch and faced it to them, "But only one for each. I'm going to share it with the others."

The three of them simultaneously grinned, racing on who gets to pick first.

"I wanted that one!" Emily hissed at Derek, who swiftly unwrapped the packaging and shoved it in his mouth.

"Hmm?" Derek jazzed his hands, smirking at Emily.

Spencer meticulously decided as if he was making a chess move. In the end, he chose a truffle.

"Ooo, what do we have here?" JJ chimed in as she walked in the bullpen, carrying a few folders.

You smiled and extended your arm towards her, "Have some sweets, Ms. Gorgeous."

JJ chuckled and raised a brow, "I am definitely taking your offer. This is rare." She quickly rummaged through the small pouch. After a few seconds, JJ grabbed another candy, a plain caramel-filled chocolate. "For Henry."

"Nah, that's for Henry's mom too," Derek interjected, pointing accusingly at JJ.

"If she's getting more, then I should too. Halloween candies are supposed to be more than one." Spencer's hand quickly dove inside your little pouch as if it was deeper than the ocean.

"Geez," You laughed after they were all satisfied to acquire another piece. "You guys can pass as scammers." You shake your head, closing the pouch in case another hand attempts to get a piece.

You then headed to Rossi's office, knocking softly. "Want some liquor-filled candy?" You peeked through the door.

Rossi lifted his gaze and was met with your wiggling pouch. He smiled and motioned for you to come in. "And when do you ever share your treasured sweets?" He said, putting his pen down to give you his full attention.

You snorted, "What do you mean? I always share." You giddily snickered, walking closer to his desk.

"I guess we don't have to talk about Spencer's one-week bruise during that one case..." Rossi shrugged and grabbed one candy from your pouch.

"He ate my last candy, Rossi! Not because it was in the jet's kitchenette doesn't mean he can eat it." You defended, grinning at his raised brow.

Rossi hummed in response, knowing not to press further.

You left his office not long after he thanked you for a nice red wine-flavored candy. So, your feet quickly brought you to Hotch's office.

"Come in." He said from behind the door. Hotch gazed at you with tired eyes, furrowing his brows when he saw your playful grin, "Can I help you with something?"

"Nope," You shook your head and softly smiled, standing before his desk. You placed a whiskey-flavored candy in front of his nameplate, "Great job on the case, boss." You put your thumbs up, then skipped out of his office like a toddler who's given permission to stay up past her bedtime.

He watched as you exited his door and almost tripped on the stairs down the bullpen. Hotch shook his head and flashed his rare smile, reaching for the candy. He popped it in his mouth, widening his grin when the bittersweet taste of whiskey spread on his palette. The next sentences on his action reports were written with less weight.

Down the bullpen, Penelope begrudgingly poured coffee in her mug, mumbling curses and how she would hack into the higher-ups' computers and spam them with ads. Action reports were not on her task, but if the team stays, she stays.

"Hey, beautiful lady," You nudged her.

"I love you with all my heart, but I am in no condition to be all happy, happy. I might choke someone who breathes next to me." Penelope sipped her coffee, tasting every single drop.

Your palm served as a platform for the little sweet, advertising the red-wrapped candy between Penelope's eyes. "I just wanted to offer the prettiest tech analyst a token of my gratitude in a form of candy. Will you accept?"

Penelope's eyes twinkled, her lips twitching into a smile. She carefully took the sweet from your hand and offered you a kiss on the cheek. "I'm sorry I doubted your intentions, my liege."

"You're forgiven," You giggled and gave her a side hug.

After having a little chat with Penelope, distracting her mind off the fact that you still had to write paperwork, you went back to your cubicle.

A small sticky note on top of your pile of manila folders greeted you.

I don't mind doing extra action reports in exchange for chocolate truffles — S.R

And who were you to decline such an offer?

[gadriezmannsgirl]

Hello! I really like how you wrote my request -'Una Experta' with Gavi 😚 And I'd love to send you this idea that suddenly popped in my head:

So basically, the reader is a model, representing Ms. Barcelona 2023. Her friends who were also models, always teased her about her crush on Gavi. Then one day she was caught 4k on video wearing Gavi's jersey when she ties her long hair in a bun, one of them posted it eventually, constantly teasing her red face in which she always covers when she's being teased (Omg this is so cute 😭). And then one day Gavi's reaction on reader's crush on him was being asked in an interview (along with some of his teammates), oh and yeah let's just say the feelings were mutual, and he was like smiley and blushy all that things i dunno, and he's also being teased about it by his teammates 😂

So yeah, this is where the title Ms. Barcelona appears, since when she won the title Ms. Barcelona, of course she had to promote Barcelona, including Barça, so maybe Xavi asking her to come to camp nou and do some shootings promoting their jerseys? And ooh! A scene where Gavi's teammates offered to help him by hiding the plain jersey she's supposed to wear for the last shooting and replacing a Gavi jersey instead, in which Gavi doesn’t know about that. And an ending where Gavi asks her on a date maybe?

Soo yeaaa the rest is up to you! It'd be awesome if you'd do this, since I the author I first sent this request couldn't do it, but don't worry, I let her know that I was going to send it to another author, which is you, to avoid double requests being sent to double authors (yea that sucks). Take your time 🥰

😭😭bestie, I'm truly sorry for not being able to do this, I've been trying and trying to come up with something but nothing does for this fic and I'm so sorry because this has been sitting in my drafts since forever, if you want to request something else, I'll gladly accept it and will try my best to do it.

Once again, I'm truly sorry for taking so long to even answer this, I'm trying to slowly get back to writing so hopefully I'll be able to post as I used to do. Hope you've a good morning/afternoon/night, take care!✨🌻

[causenessus]

news with ness time <3333333

just so u all know at like any time of the day i have 50 tumblr drafts saved in my head and mainly they're just random things i want to say like let me tell u guys... i've been asked to return back to my high school to stage manage their musical because after my year left they were literally hopeless 💀 like it's so bad my director is so done with them he's literally announced he's retiring in a few years and is also hiring someone else to direct the musical and they were not about to deal with another student stage manager for the musical after last year (💀💀💀💀💀💀) so i'm gonna do it 😭 BUT OMG I'M BURNT OUT TOO BRO I'M SO TIRED I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT WITH THE LITTLE KID THAT TOOK OVER LIGHTS FOR ME BC HE SUCKS MAJORLY AND HAS SUCH A SUPERORITY COMPLEX LIKE I COULD GO ON AND ON ABOUT HIM UGH THERE'S SO MUCH LORE TO THAT I'LL DELVE INTO IT AGAIN ANOTHER TIME but like it's gonna be in november....so i have to start thinking about it soon 😭😭😭 and how do i tell my directors my brain has literally been consumed by fic writings and i cannot sit at my computer and watch a recording of the musical so i know wtf is going on BECAUSE I WANT TO WRITE AAA september and novemeber are gonna be rough guys that's all i can say

i literally cannot tell if i accidentally professed my undying love for mo in someone's post or if tumblr tried to silence me but i'm sorry if it was the former

WYR I'M SORRY I FORGOT TO SEND U A TEASER FOR LOVE NOTES IF U SEE THIS DM ME I WILL SEND IT NOW (or anyone else i will gladly share with u a teaser <3)

my brain is SO backed up rn but also i think i'm officially closing my 1k followers event 😭😭 200 followers later LMAOO sorry i kept it open so long i didn't even think about it. so i'll finish what prompts i have going on rn and i think that'll be it!! and if someone sends in any more requests i'll def still write them <3 but just so u guys don't think i'm stupid

if matcha lattes were water i'd be the most hydrated person ever. thank u. that's it

[wosemi-sama]

omg uh ur writing slay so can i req vbs character headcanons when they have a crush on a g/n reader ?? tysmmm <3

yo im super sorry for taking ages w this. this is has been sitting in my drafts 4 like 2+ months n i feel like im setting it free from its cage after so long. somewhat proofread btw so keep that in mind lol <3

vivid bad squad x reader headcanons (separately)

kohane azusawa

Met you during a Wonderlands x Showtime show at Phoenix Wonderland

You two were sitting on the same bench, next to each other

It was really awkward since you two were the only ones on the bench

You ended up talking and gaining a new friend that day.

You and Kohane ended up meeting up on the weekends and going on trips to Phoenix Wonderland together

She ended up gifting you a Phenny plushie on one of your trips there

Kohane ended up slowly developing a crush on you

An noticed that she was starting to space out a lot recently and asked what was wrong

She became flustered and said it was nothing as she started stuttering

An caught on quickly on to what was happening.

an shiraishi

An was in one of your classes and hadn't even noticed you until a couple months.

One day, she fell asleep during class and didn't wake up until class was already over.

An looked around the classroom and realized that class was over, as the only other person in the room was you.

She glanced at her empty notebook, supposed to be filled with notes, and glanced back at you, packing up your bag.

An dashed over to you in a hurry

"Hey, do you mind letting me borrow your notes really quick? I... fell asleep."

"Not at all, go ahead."

An quickly wrote down all the notes on her notebook and handed your notes back to you.

"Thank you so much!! I'm An Shiraishi, by the way. Nice to meet you."

After that, you would occasionally meet up with An

An eventually found herself falling for you.

akito shinonome

Akito being Akito, absolutely refused to admit he has a crush on you

The two of you were co-workers at his part time job and occasionally talked.

You eventually became friends with him and hung out with him a lot, going shopping, amusement parks, etc.

Akito started to grow feelings for you but decided to ignore it.

An and Mizuki found out and immediately started to tease him

toya aoyagi

Didn't realize until really later on.

One day he was sitting there until he started thinking

"Wait, why do I feel about them this way?"

The two of you were pretty decent friends

The two of you talked and went to the arcade from time to time

He plays those crane games at the arcade to get you a plushie, and get the plushie flawlessly every time.

Tbh, he doesn't really act that different from normal.

He hopes to confess to you one day, just not yet.

[diodellet]

*slides in*

How about 3, 16, 17 and 29 for the fic writer asks?

omg i didnt think id ramble this much (thank u for enabling me ner 🤧💕💕)

3. how you feel about your current WIP

tbh i'm not super confident about my writing any time i come out from from a long long hiatus of not posting anything. also like… i'm not super confident writing other charas aside from jamil since i don't really think ab them as much… (sorry leona-natics* whenever this drabble gets posted, but like fingers crossed the sitch will hopefully be exciting enough)

*i think it might have to do with the fact that i kinda hc leona on the grayspec++have more vv specific hc characterizations i like of him, but ig i do see his appeal (one of m'oomfs is a leona-natic and well ahu her propaganda might've been subconsciously assimilated)

but ahaha i tend to write things that i'm very personally interested in so i'll find a way to have fun with it, i'll be gucci i just get too into my head, it's a vicious cycle as a writer.

16. favorite place to write

uhhh im a very sedentary person, probably a result from the pandemic, and being a thorough homebody even after that

hmm i would say id like a nice ambient public place with coffeeeee my blood my life force Some amount of people engrossed in their own work, but like in the ph, esp in a place populated by a lot of uni students, cafes end up being hella cold (im skin and bones the cold is Evil)++noisy (which i don't see as a big bad thing esp since i like socializing with my friends...at the cost of putting off my own writing oops HAHAHA)

17. talk about your writing and editing process

oh boy. here we go. one thing to note throughout all this: my only consistent practice as a writer is inconsistency. (and ig, if i try hard enough, i can usually put out a passable 200-300 words in one sitting)

sometimes i can outline a fic and take forever chipping away at it

^^(case in point: that sebek x vampire!reader x silver fic... i joked abt waiting until book 7 would drop on EN but it has been Stuck. i wanna write bi-disaster sebek so bad though 🤧🤧)

other times my actual writing veers waaaaay into a diff plotpoint instead of what i have plotted out

^^(there're these 2 now-removed bullet points in wcidfy's outline for ch 3 that went: "do i have the balls to write a fever scene… gaguhan anhirap nito pag walang ob [tl: fuck this is hard (to write) without overblots]" and "i also keep thinking of a scene in the (scarabia) gardens…and lying about bees…weird")

and sometimes i can just shit out 1k-ish words unprompted.

^^though this last example leads to my most rough writing++editing ('ily but leave me tf alone' and 'no id rather pretend'), i only look over for immediate errors, but keep iffy-phrasings and repeated words, but sometimes i still miss incomplete sentences that i jus quickly fix after posting ahahaha.

in terms of my more "polished" writing, i edit as i write (<- i do Not recommend this style. it's very unsustainable if ur planning to do more conventional writing/publishing and it's very easy to get trapped in your writer's block)

and after finishing 80% of it, i try to get a second pair of eyes on it (thanks @jessamine-rose mwaps) because validation of works in progress feels good it also helps to have a trusted outside person look at the work with fresher eyes. also smtimes we get into bouncing ideas back nd forth that we spawn new brainrot lmao like this👇

i like to call my writing a "semi-polished first draft" partly out of self-defense and self-criticism. but really, i think i'd rather have "good enough" writing posted than "my best" because i could spend forever hoarding my wips. i think i'll always have regrets over not fleshing out certain beats/using certain phrasings and references, but i also enjoy looking back on my writing and seeing the incremental, microscopic progress. it makes the process more enjoyable than self-flagellating.

on a personal note, the writing workshop scene can be brutal. with some criticism being needlessly harsh, sure it produced some of my "best" writing but the process was Not Fun. while i get that being able to revise meaningfully is an important thing, i think the endgoal of feedback (from my short exp of betaing for friends) shud always be aimed towards uplifting the writer's aim to create/improving the writer's vision of what they wanna achieve, especially in a craft that is as solitary as writing. wait ill rb a post about making ur shitty pots, very in-line with making art in general

29. how easy is it for you to come up with titles?

very hard. i hate thinking of titles, thats why i yoink lines from songs (who cares if the vibe doesnt fit im adding layers of interpretation or sumn🥴🥴). ACTUALLY wcidfy had like 3 other possible names (it was either *rolls out list* hairtie, nonequivalent exchange, or ben franklin effect* wcidfy was the most bearable one.) *i tried to look up how to distill the psychological phenomenon of someone probably liking u more after u do a small favor for them into 2-3 words, but it had to be a WHITE MAN'S NAME 🤢🤢NAW!!!!

for few other examples:

'say what you mean' was initially titled 'oh how the tables turn'

'roommates? more like roomfoes' was first titled 'pet peeves'

'hypothermia' was first titled 'frigid' but then i thought of paradoxical undressing nd stuff and da pseudo-warmth

i've also moved a bunch of other plot beats from wcidfy's main document into a file called "part 45678 of wcidfy"

as u can see i prioritize making myself laugh wid my wip titles. i wanna put the illusion that my writing's not that serious. unless it is? idk i'm not sure how to describe my writing in terms of its vibes.

(list of fic writer asks, ahaha bug me ab my wips)

[roosterbruiser]

whenever you have the time, I’d love to hear more about Faye’s other pregnancies. I’m obsessed with Landslide. It’s a masterpiece!

sorry I let this sit in my drafts for so long!!! omg!!!

canonically, I'm making it so Faye really enjoys being pregnant (and good bc they have FIVE girls) because I've tortured her more than enough in the story :,)

here's a blurb I wrote about Olive:

And then, of course, there was Olive. And the house was never even close to quiet ever again. A crackling baby monitor, some battery-operated toy, hiccups, crying, giggling, abused piano keys crying unceremoniously, gleeful chattering, babbling, burping, tiny feet on the kitchen tile. Olive was always relentless--plagued with a never-ending case of hiccups, especially when she was upset--and walked through life with a certain boldness only her aunt had possessed. It took Olive a few moments to cry when she was born in that white-washed hospital room just before midnight--stubborn as she is, she only relented when her daddy touched her for the first time. She is the oldest daughter, the bravest, the boldest. Self-assured, secured in her place in this world. 

Faye's pregnancy with Joni is about as smooth as a pregnancy can get! chasing around a toddler keeps Faye on her toes, but Bradley always makes sure to spoil her rotten as soon as he gets home.

her biggest craving is giant salads. and we aren't talking flimsy little things, either. we're talking the words: cooked pasta, breadcrumbs, cabbage, butter lettuce, carrots, peppers, vinegar dressing, tomatoes, chicken, seeds, nuts, etc. Bradley would obviously start calling Faye "bunny" during this period bc of that!

after her less-than-steller experience birthing in a hospital, I think Faye would opt to give birth at home. she already knows that she can do it medication-free, but they go to lots of classes anyway! I imagine that Faye is only in labor for a few hours, just like she was with Olive. and then Joni Caroline is born late into the night on October 19th, 2023.

here's a blurb I wrote about it:

Then there was Joni--sweet Joni, endlessly quieter than Olive, but doted on relentlessly. Joni was always watching--those big, brown eyes lingering over still faces and laughing forms and moving screens and cloudy skies. But we--Bradley and I--we could always hear her. It was the humming. She hummed from--what feels like--birth. Always a low little vibration in her throat, her eyes far-away and glassy, her little lips a flat line. When Joni was born, when I pulled her from the warm water and onto my naked chest in the lowlight of the living room, she didn’t cry. Frantically, the midwives checked her airways while Bradley and I rubbed her back, cooing at her. Her airways were clear and she was breathing; she just didn’t have anything to say. 

similarly with Olive and Joni, the pregnancy is easy. she's a surprise baby, but it's a happy surprise! chasing after two toddlers does keep Faye on her toes, but they have family living close to them by the time she's pregnant with Finch!

they keep the gender a surprise, even though they both feel like it's a boy. they don't know why other than they just assume after two girls, they'd get a boy. they settle on the name Finch and don't really look for a girl name at all!

but as soon as Finch is born and is absolutely a girl, they decide that the name Finch is absolutely perfect anyway.

here's a blurb I wrote about it:

Finch came screaming into the world on the coldest day in February, roaring herself into this serious world with a very serious cry. As I laid on the bedroom floor, the plastic sheet beneath me crinkling with my every movement, she bawled and bawled and bawled. It wasn’t until I put her to my breast, only minutes after birth, that she relinquished all thoughts of upset. Finch has always been insistent--always attached to the boob when she was an infant, always begging for more of this, more of that. But as insistent as she has always been, she has been the kindest soul to ever touch this earth. She used to rush into the house in a frenzy, holding an ailing baby bunny, begging me to save it, mommy, save it! She was the resident bug collector, releasing spiders and centipedes outside safely. She would hold hands with anyone, would never leave without kissing us goodbye, and was never embarrassed to let her dad hold her on her shoulders at concerts--even when she was too big. 

Bradley and Faye have three sweet and perfect girls and decide what the Hell? why not have one more!

and then they get pregnant with twins. twin girls!

I feel like this is Faye's most complicated pregnancy. knowing that she is carrying twin girls is a genuine physical reminder of her own sister every single day. worrying about repeating the mistakes of her parents or repeating any part of her history is a major concern for her. Bradley's constantly rubbing knots out of her shoulders at the end of the day.

physically, she's dealing with more weight and less room in her womb, but she's been pregnant a few times by now and knows how it goes. pregnancy agrees with her, even if it's twins!

Bradley is more concerned about two newborns than anything else, especially since the other girls aren't very old yet!

but then they're born and they're the most perfect little souls to ever grace this earth. they complete the Ledger-Bradshaw family to a tee--complete with their big brown eyes and loud mouths.

here's a blurb I wrote about it:

Last came Opal and June. My last daughters stretched me to my breaking point, waiting until a cool June day to start my labor. It was my longest and most grueling one, which was unexpected. Twenty-three hours of me pacing around the house like a wild animal, heavy with two baby girls, twisting this way, stretching that way, standing up, kneeling, leaning, swaying. Little Opal was born first--and she was slow to emerge from me. Coming into my arms at four in the morning a tiny and pink thing, furrowing her brow at me as if I'd interrupted her quiet night. Shortly after Opal was June, who was sweeter and quieter. She was born with her eyes wide open and looking into mine--they were the eyes of my grandmother, deep blue and very intense. They have always been attached to me--attached to my hip. Despite being born in the same hour on the same day, Opal is louder than June. She is more than June in every way: more emotional, more angry, more happy, more hungry, more thirsty. Opal was my only daughter that cried when I left her at daycare for the first time. June held her hand quietly, diligently, but did not tear up. But when I returned only a few hours later, grocery bags in the backseat of the truck, June wrapped her arms around my leg and would not let me go. I sat in the car with them for a long time, the engine cut and the ice cream in the trunk melting, just petting their hair and explaining that I will always come back. Always. This is not to say that the twins love Bradley any less than they love me. And he loves them just as fiercely as he loves me, Olive, Joni, Finch. But they have always been my shadows. They were the last to stop breastfeeding, the last to stop sleeping in our bed, the last to take their training wheels of their bikes, the last to leave the house. And even now, when Opal needs comfort, she will openly weep and wail until we are cooing and patting her hair and kissing her cheeks. And even now, when June needs comfort, she will hold onto me and not let me go. They use their spare keys often.

[royallygray]

Royalllll I have more questions!! I'm currently on a car ride cause I just went to the best store EVER (there's only one so I'm not gonna say the name cause I don't wanna dox where I live) but they have the best stuff. It's so like creepy-vintage-cottagecore

Anyways. Questions. Feel free to answer all or some of none of them :]

What's your favorite crystal?

Favorite place to write? (like a place irl, in your bedroom, outside, library, etc)

Role model?

Time zone (if your comfortable of course)?

For some reason I decided to wear these really baggy black pants today cause they got SIX POCKETS but it's like 75 F here and I'm warm but POCKETS

Do you have a favorite pair of pants?

Weirdest thing that ever happened at your school?

Favorite baked good?

Are you left or right handed? (JOIN THE LEFT HANDED CULT. CONVERT NOW. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS CHOP OFF YOUR RIGHT HAND /J -from a left handed person)

A random memory that sticks out from when you were like 4-10?

The name of one of your playlists?

Aaaaand favorite dog breed??

Hey- hey- you wanna see my dog

No? Too bad.

Her name is Rosie and I love her so much. She is my baby. She's a beagle/Australian shepherd/who knows what but she's the best lol- she just turned two last month!!

Do you have any pets? If yeah what are they, what are their names, and DO YOU HAVE PICTURES CAN I SEE?

Did YOU know that you are loved? Cause you are. A lot. I promise. You're so incredibly awesome. I hope you're doing well :]

Okay I think that's it for now

I'll be back don't worry hehe

Mysteriously disappearing into orbit (look at me I came up with something)

-Mysterious

OH MY GOD QUESTIONS :D

HII

Mm. Those nice stores. Those stores are so cool.

(sorry this has taken so long it's been sitting in my drafts with just this first sentence LMAO)

(read more cuz this is long)

[fav crystal] amethyst. I actually have an amethyst necklace and we went to Canada and mined for amethyst and it was super buggy 0/10 but we did get cool shiny rocks so

[fav place to write] uh. either the floor. like anywhere. or my bed. floor is great

[role model] idk. I don't fucking know because like it might've been my mom but eh. so it's probably Taylor Swift since she's so many things I want to be. (⏃⌰⌇⍜ ⍙⟟⌰⏚⎍⍀ ⍙⏃⌇ ⌇⍜⋔⟒⍜⋏⟒ ⟟ ⍙⏃⋏⏁⟒⎅ ⏁⍜ ⎎⎍☊☍⟟⋏☌ ⏚⟒ ⏚⎍⏁ ⊬'☍⋏⍜⍙. ⏁⊑⏃⏁'⌇ ⏚⟒⟒⋏ ⌇⊑⏃⏁⏁⟒⍀⟒⎅.)

[time zone] CENTRAL BABEYYY

[do u have a fav pair of pants] yes. they're these "leggings" that are actually pants but they have pockets and they're just warm enough that they work for the winter and just lightweight enough that they're working for the summer. so far. fuck the summer I hate it it's too fucking hot

[weirdest thing that happened at ur school] okay so this was in elementary but there was a fire drill during lunch and it was pasta day but I'd packed a lunch so I was fine but the fire alarm went off during lunch so we all filed out and my friend shoved her pasta in her face and then we waited outside in the chilly winter/spring I don't remember but eventually we went back inside and everyone's pasta was cold

turns out it wasn't a drill. someone was smoking?? in the boiler room?? or smth?? so the school wasn't actually cruel for making our pasta cold there were just some assholes smoking. or smth. that was the rumor I don't fucking know

actually yeah I do know. there was a dragon. that wanted the pasta. so it breathed fire except it didn't know where the cafeteria was and so it was sad and couldn't get the pasta. so true mhm

[fav baked good] ooh I like making cookies. cookies are good. but so are these specific gas station donuts. and also cake. OMG CHEESECAKE FINAL ANSWER ESPECIALLY THE OREO CHEESECAKE AT CHEESECAKE FACTORY

right handed, but my IRL bsf is a leftie. and during 7th grade we both tried to become ambidextrous. it didn't work so well. especially for me. I think she can kinda write with her right hand.

random memory??? fuck if I know. bro wtf happened in elementary school. oh I left the classroom without telling the teacher once since I was pissed at her and then like the social worker and half the security team needed to help find me. bro I just went to the bathroom they did not need. as many people I don't actually remember but it was rly weird. first time I disobeyed shit tho! and also prolly last.

[name of a playlist of mine] uhhhh. #110: Depression Incarnate. before the matter #101. #113: You clearly need... something. #102: of another lifetime. I number my playlists so I know like when they were made and see how my music evolved over time.

fav dog breed. I am not well educated on dog breeds, but German shepherd. fluffy and loveable.

I love your dog. I love Rosie. GekatwkaSHJA she's so cute. precious bean

I've got Sirius Wolfgang and Tidae. this is Sirius :)

[did u know that you are loved?] :( thanks. that. um. thanks. <3

I'm doing. y'know. I'm very stressed. actually I should sleep. also my phone charger isn't working rn and I have assignments. and I had an anxiety attack today, but thanks for checking in im

~still a piece of garbage~

but thanks for the reminder that you care <3 :(

woah you've joined me in orbit :D

ty for the ask :)

[hazbean-hotel-imagines]

Okay okay, its been a while since I requested a matchup so sorry if i forget something! I dont mind both helluva and hazbin, i like both <3

Online I go by Dead or just D, I am not comfortable with my irl name and am still trying to figure it out

My pronouns are they/she, I'm still trying to find the right label for what I'm into though. I like everybody to sum it up tho!

I'm an INFP-t

I really like cats (I've got six), the colors blue and black, skeletons, cards/dice (i have some cool jewelry with card symbols n stuff) drawing, reading/writing and watching cartoons.

I've got diagnosed with ADD/ADHD though I'm more tired than hyper, but if you get me talking about something im interested in I could talk your ear off

I try really hard to be consious of how other people feel so I tend to back up if I can tell someone isn't enjoying the conversation/what we're doing. I also really try hard to include others in what I'm currently blabbing about by asking them questions 'cause I know what it's like to not have a say in a convo.

In terms of my appearence, I'm afab, and I'm sadly well endowed, it causes me some back issues. But on the bright side they make good pillows for friends!!

I've got short blonde hair that i dye black and i tend to wear loose clothes that are a few sizes too big. I usually tend to wear all black non gendered clothes (I'm goth) and if i feel like getting dolled up I'll wear a dress and accessories!

I need glasses cause my long distance sight is shit 💀💀💀

In terms of humor? I like making dirty jokes or dark jokes. Like, my fave dark joke is "my grandfather told me i was too reliant on technology. So i called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support"

But yeah!! Thanks for taking the time to read this <3

Matchup

I pair you with…

~ Hi Dead! Omg so I had these done two days ago, then I looked up what a charcuterie board was out of curiosity… bro it was completely finished, I didn’t save it as a draft, and lost my progress because I. Wanted to look. At pictures of charcuterie boards. Anyway I like charcuterie boards 🤭

~ Okay! So Blitzo was first that came to mind when I read about you. Firstly, y’all give off the extrovert adopts introvert trope. Except, it’s more like vague kidnapping than adopting. One meeting and you’re friends for life, no exceptions.

~ Blitzo’s favourite quality in a partner is someone who enjoys his sense of humour. This is a little bit because of his past in the circus. He not only loved that you understand and laugh at his jokes, but when you add on to them!

~He’s awful at communicating. The way you listen and genuinely show an effort in gaging his mood and engagement really means a lot to him, he notices. Blitzo works really well with someone who is patient and good at communication, because he’s lacking in that department, and you help him learn.

I pair you with…

~ This is another extrovert adopts introvert, but much less extreme. Asmodeus is interested in you, and he finds excuses and ways to see you again. If he notices the same interest is reciprocated, he’ll slowly integrate himself into your life and become a constant.

~ Loves listening to people talk. Will let you talk his ear off about your interests, and will never lose focus. Is completely invested from start to finish. Will literally sit there smiling with his heads in his hands kicking his feet.

~ Additionally, he digs that you’re so attentive in conversations. Asmodeus has a tendency to let himself become a listener when he’s in romantic relationships, mostly because he just genuinely enjoys listening to his partners speak and is such an invested listener. It’s a welcome change of pace that you’re constantly ensuring it’s a back and forth conversation, and how conscious you are of his feelings and attention. He reciprocates these efforts tenfold.

~ Super domestic. Will watch cartoons with you in a blanket pile on the couch for hours. Favourite thing is to make unique charcuterie boards and start a show together. This prompted me to go and look at pictures of fucking cheese last time.

~ Can be content with just admiring you while you draw.

~ Loves your sense of humour. Especially loves when he says something dirty to flirt, and you clap back with something super dark. It always catches him off guard, and it takes a lot to leave him speechless. He adores it.

I pair you with…

~ Loves your aesthetic.

~ “Omg I have a goth partner” type beat.

~ Unsure the trope of you guys meeting, but I had ideas for your relationship dynamic. Cherri uses you to recharge her social battery. After a long day, all she wants to do is come home to you and just rest. She’ll definitely text often throughout the day, but when she comes home she always beelines to the couch to make a next of pillows and blankets so you can watch cartoons together.

~ The ultimate cat sitter. Immediately once she hears you have cats she’s at your place. Is she with you for you or the cats? No one knows. It’s you. Don’t be surprised if you come home one day, and she’s just… there, with your cats.

~ If she finds cool jewelry that reminds her of you she’ll send you a selfie holding it next to her head, with a “?” text following to see if you want it. Sometimes it’ll be from cool little shops, but sometimes you can see the wreckage of a turf war in the background and you know she’s just looting people.

~ You both have the same sense of humour, it’s like you guys mesh so well. I imagine conversations between you go so well, you’re super excitable and somehow always find something to talk about. Every day is exciting.

Alternate pairing…

Charlie

[marsbutterfly]

okay this is kinda random but i legit love your carrd!

You can totally decline, but do you have any tips for how to make one that looks amazing like yours?? I tried to make one and it was like learning another language to understand, muchless make 🥲

I AM SO SORRY ABOUT HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO RESPOND PLS THIS HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR A LITTLE BIT 🥲 but omg thank you so much 🥺 i appreciate it a lot. honestly making carrds has been one of my hyperfixations for a little while now.

I made my own (both for tumblr and twitter, my wife's and my best friend's )

so i was 10027472818% lost as fuck when i first started making carrds a couple years ago, i had no idea what a container was and the different buttons? but one day i put in my head that i was going to learn. Honestly, even now, I still need a little help sometimes.

here are my tips:

1) don't try to figure out on your own at first 😭 there are several tutorials out there (both on twitter and youtube. keywords on tt would be: carrd tutorial thread, though since i last checked a while back, it was filled with random famcams, so i recommend youtube) and you are bound to find one you like eventually. after a couple of times using tutorials, you'll start getting the hang of it and understanding what everything does.

2) try to keep it simple at first, like choose a two color pallet and use a color image picker to make matters easier because they'll make you write like #000000 or whatever 😭

3) honestly, write down the codes of colors you like somewhere because you might want to use it again in the future; who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️

4) carrd premium is a waste of money andhiwqhisehqi

5) have fun with it, go around pinterest and save a bunch of photos. based on what kind of pictures you like and save, you can decide if you want a more cutie carrd or a more serious one. it can really set the tone as to what you're looking for. also, you can find inspiration pictures of what you want your carrd to look like on pinterest and go from there once you kinda get the gist of what's going on opsjfopasjfop

6) don't stress yourself about it too hard, if you need help with anything specific, just shoot me a message and i will do my best to assist you <3

idk man, i'm terrible at giving advice so i really hope this helped in any way. these are my two favorite channels, their videos are helpful and explanatory, really gives you an idea of what to do.

lovjbini on youtube lvjnsl on youtube