#on change

[stuckinapril]

how to embrace change?

you pretend to be okay with it until the grief of it creeps up on you in a grocery shopping aisle & brings you to your knees

[asoftepiloguemylove]

to be loved is to be changed

Haruki Murakami South of the Border, West of the Sun // Robert Bly In the Month of May // Ocean Vuong On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous // art: unknown quote: Fyodor Dostoeyevsky The Brothers Karamazov // @x2s (via @llovelymoonn) // Bianca Sparacino // Noah Kahan You're Gonna Go Far // Katja Kemnitz Too Much Love // Charlotte Eriksson Everything Changed When I Forgave Myself

[maddieisnotreal]

a self-portrait in letter by anne sexton // “fare”, devotions by mary oliver // letters from tove by tove jansson // eightbitstories on twitter //the magical year of thinking by joan didion // wrong side of a fistfight by ashe vernon // on earth we’re briefly gorgeous by ocean vuong // little women (2019) // don’t know

[llovelymoonn]

via @x2s \\ @chloeinletters (from her newsletter)

kofi

[akindplace]

Mary Oliver - To begin with, the sweet grass

“We do one thing or another; we stay the

same, or we

change.

Congratulations, if

you have changed”

[tqrxchi]

more words i've read recently.

[petrichor-moss-and-lightning]

“ever forward, always looking back,” Aurora Picciottoli

[euxellis]

What is alive and what isn’t and what should we do about it? Theories: about the nature of the thing. And of the soul. Because people die. The fear: that nothing survives. The greater fear: that something does. The Language of the Birds, Richard Siken

Batman #428 // Between Two kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life interrupted, Suleika Jaouad // Batman #429 // The Spring Flowers Own, Etel Adnan // Batman: Gotham Knights #45 // UnsentProject // notasoupcompany on Tumblr (I think) // Red Hood: The Lost Days #2 // Red Hood: The Lost Days #1 // The Air Smells like Rain and You've Started to Forget About Me, Lauren R // Red Hood: The Lost Days #4 // Red Hood: The Lost Days #4 // Anecdote of the Pig, Tory Adkisson // Red Hood: The Lost Days #2 // Pinterest // Red Hood: The Lost Days #2 // Batman Under the Hood (Batman #635) // Shahrazad al-Khalij // Batman: Under the Hood // LET YOUR DAD DIE ENERGY DRINK, Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan // Batman: Under the Hood

[bones-ivy-breath]

Inward by Yung Pueblo

[catmint1]

I must change my life so that I can live it, not wait for it.

Susan Sontag, Reborn: Journals and Notebooks, 1947-1964

[brooklyn-alley-ratcat]

My first day of kindergarten I stood proudly with my backpack on, hair not wild yet from the playground. My grandmother asked me if I wanted her to walk me inside and my bright little eyes looked at her in all sincerity.

“I was a caterpillar and now I’m a butterfly ready to fly!”

I should have been like the other kids asking their mom or dad to stay five more minutes but I didn’t. At five years old I was so certain I was ready to fly, to be independent. I wonder where that girl went now that I’m almost twenty one.

I should have been more reliant onmy parents before I couldn’t anymore.

Brush my hair and tie my shoes one more time, hold my hand in the grocery line, lovingly tell me to look both ways before crossing the street, make me chocolate chip pancakes in the shape of hearts, sing me to sleep as you turn on the night light, tell me you love me to the moon and back before closing my bedroom door. Please, I want you to be by my side with every step I take and hold my hand when I make mistakes until the end of time.

It’s late though and my laundry needs to be folded before I make dinner.

God, I wish kindergarten had lasted forever.

[capbrie]

mother-morphosis

being born as a life sentence for my mother,

13 years it took her before she cut it off,

only to get caught back into mess after mess.

realistically, if it hadn’t been me,

and it hadn’t been him,

it likely would have been the same situation

some place else.

so i must ask,

what chance did she ever have?

two broken arms,

sent to school

by her neglectful mother.

clothes ripped to shreds

in fits of jealous rage

by a cheating fiancée.

furniture smashed

and police called

on an alcoholic boyfriend.

oh, my mother,

if i could hold you in my hands

and turn you away

from the worst parts of the world,

i would.

like a caterpillar found on the ground,

i’d name you something beautiful,

give you a cap of sugar water

and a container full of leaves.

but like my birth,

it would be just another sentence,

trapping you somewhere,

preventing you from metamorphosis,

bursting from a chrysalis

and flourishing into

something truly beautiful.

two perfect wings

and your whole life ahead of you.

[asoftepiloguemylove]

unknown // Taylor Swift You're On Your Own, Kid // SEVENTEEN：HIT THE ROAD episode 10 A Time To Face Myself (via @kwonhochi) // Anis Mojgani Here Am I // V.E. Schwab Vicious // Charolette Eriksson Everything Changed When I Forgave Myself // Rainer Maria Rilke Letters to a Young Poet // Lana Del Rey Fuck it I love you

[maddieisnotreal]

norwegian wood by haruki murakami // cherry - harry styles // right where you left me - taylor swift // grief lessons: four plays by euripides, translated by anne carson // on earth we’re briefly gorgeous by ocean Vuong // art by holly warburton // slipping through my fingers - abba // new year’s day - taylor swift // white oleander by janet fitch

[llovelymoonn]

sheila heti pure colour

kofi

[akindplace]

It’s okay if things turned out so differently than I planned. It’s okay if I don’t have the life I imagined I would when I was 19 because I don’t think past me had any idea of the things that could change in and around herself. It’s okay to not be able to predict the future, to map out your whole life. I don’t even agree with things past me believed, and she didn’t know enough about life to be so wise beyond her years to be able to have everything figured out, because no one has every last detail of life figured out. It’s a good thing to have changed, to have learned. It means that the suffering wasn’t all in vain. What matters is why I’m going to do with my life now, and not if I can do the things past me expected to. It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m just not the same. I still get to build a life more aligned with present me and to be happier than I imagined.