#on relationships

[surya-chandra]

[glasswaters]

AGAIN BECAUSE I FUCKED UP THE POLL DURATION

[llovelymoonn]

on human connection

@loveology2022 + @swordheld's tags \\ @cerleansky \\ david abram \\ @lalallorona

kofi

[akindplace]

You know that quote “you never know what someone’s going through, so be kind”? It works the other way too. If someone doesn’t really know what you’re struggling with or refuses to see it while completely invalidating you, please know that they don’t get to define your worth and their unkindness shows they’re not someone you should keep around. As hurtful as it is, their perception and opinions of you do not reflect the truth, and they don’t get to tell you how to live if they completely disregard the things you go through. I hope you find people who are supporting of you, who see you with compassion and understanding.

[theprofoundcosmos]

I know you better than anyone.

Fredrick Backman / "Orestes" / R. Arnold / "Theseus" / Clementine von Radics, "Mouthful of Forevers" / "Orestes" / Ernest Hemingway, "The Garden of Eden" / Hannibal / Nickypage

[bookishblogging]

Help! Why am I so burdened by my deep unwavering love for everyone who has ever crossed paths with me! How do I stop the horrors associated with unbridled passion and devotion!!

[prettycoloursblackthoughts]

Somebody came into this house and left a trail of blood and salt. I won't whisper who it was…. But his heart is made of coal

love became grief, and it hurts.

The Time Traveller’s Wife / Tink / Wafia / The Office

[voicedwords]

Twenty-Four, Candidly, Violet Piper

[honeycordials]

I will never regret loving someone! I will never regret caring for others! I will never regret sharing my affection!

If someone takes advantage of that love, care, and affection, that is a reflection on them and not me! If I make myself vulnerable and I get hurt, that does not mean I am naive or gullible!

The love you give away is never wasted!!!

[feralgirlfeelings]

i am an island

i am an island. with coconuts and papayas. warm, soft sand where travellers rest their weary head. they will indulge in my exotic treasures. eat my fruit and drink my nectar until they've had their fill. in the morning, they will thank me for the stay, but they will always go home. i am an island.

[llovelymoonn]

Could you maybe do something regarding being in a relationship but feeling like you can’t breathe? Like you’re being suffocated by it?

gregory orr orpheus & eurydice: a lyric sequence (via @derangedrhythms) \\ liana finck \\ fariha róisín who is wellness for?: an examination of wellness culture and who it leaves behind (via @feral-ballad) \\ victoria hannan kokomo \\ daniel segrove \\ james baldwin giovanni's room \\ richard siken crush: "litany in which certain things are crossed out"

buy me a coffee

[akindplace]

It’s a good thing to just show up as yourself. It’s not possible to alway be improving, to always be great, to constantly do your best. You’re allowed to be imperfect, even if that is not something encouraged by those who want you only as the idea they have of you. You’re not a concept, you’re just another human, an animal, who cannot perform to the highest expectations without setting yourself up for failure.

It’s a good thing to just try, to just do things as you are able to. It’s okay for you to be good enough and not perfect. Perfectionism takes us to an all of nothing mentality, but you don’t have to burn yourself out by forcing yourself to be the best at everything. You need to allow yourself to make mistakes without the unbearable guilt it gives you, you are only human. Your mistakes will become lessons, so they don’t make you a failure. Please don’t delay whatever you need to do because you’re waiting for it to be “just right, just perfect”. You deserve more of life than to be an ideal to people-please others. You deserve more than the fear of not being good enough. You deserve to throw yourself out into the world, to be truly seen, truly cared for and loved for you are.

So please, don’t shut yourself out of any experiences because you’re “not sure how you’ll perform so it’s best to just give up”. You can be just as human as you are, and having flaws do not make you worse than anyone else. It makes you real, and you are alive at this moment so you might as well show up and live it! Enjoy your life as you are, and not as who you should be. Because people-pleasing while suppressing all your needs will make you miserable and lonely.

You deserve true connection, and it’s not a bad thing to want to be seen. But first, you gotta get a bit more comfortable with being yourself, and it gets a little easier the more you try hanging out with people without constantly trying to please them. And I hope little by little, you’ll get there and no longer feel the pressure to perform, and feel less scared of let others get to know the real you. I’m rooting for you and I believe you’re capable of opening up and being loved just as you are.

[kxowledge]

Ask Polly

[aesterea]

I fell in love for the first time. I think it'll tear me apart because that's what it did to my parents, but I think I'll let it

hi anon 💙

i’m sorry i took so long to respond to this. i had to spend a long time thinking about it. i don't know how much you really wanted from me, but you have my thoughts here under the cut nonetheless. 

first, i want to say i’m so happy for you! i think falling in love is one of the best, most wonderful things in life—for the feeling of it and for all the doors it opens. the first time especially, it cracks us open. it introduces us to new parts of ourselves and changes the way we see the world. i think that’s why it’s so terrifying; it asks us to transform. 

there’s so much vulnerability required in that process. and we know it doesn't always (or often) go well. those of us who grew up with examples of particularly bad relationships tend to be especially wary. 

when i was younger, i fully believed love was some kind of delusion that drove people to behave stupidly, and that all romantic relationships were hurtling toward some terrible end—the utter destruction of those involved, some miserable facade of companionship that left them feeling hollow, or (at best) a disenchantment that eventually freed them from the delusion. i wasn’t afraid of falling in love so much as i rejected it… still, when it happened… everything i thought i knew—about life and about myself—exploded like a star.

you sent such a short message, but it reminds me so much of myself. “i think it’ll tear me apart” and “i think i’ll let it.” i want to reach out and hug you, and i want to sit with you for six hours talking over hot chocolate. there's so much i wish i could say to my younger self, but at least i can share some of it with you, and i know we’re different people and your path will be different from mine, but maybe it can help you.

i think the worst mistake i ever made was to cross my own boundaries. i don’t think there’s any chance of overstating how much hope is involved when you fall for someone. the optimism and idealism (and the rarely-mentioned boost in courage) inherent in the experience makes us more willing to risk pain (longing, loss, betrayal…). i also don't think there’s any chance of real love without a willingness to get hurt, and all important relationships involve difficult emotions. but i have this dangerous tendency of thinking, “love is so precious, and now that i have it, i’ll do anything to make it work.” or even, “i love you so much, i’ll forgive anything if we can keep trying to work together.” that stubbornness and desperation and fear of loss… it’s poisonous. i’ve been hurt in a lot of ways, but the worst heartbreak did not come from loss or betrayal or even someone treating me badly—it was the sense that i had betrayed myself. healing is so much harder when you're wondering if you can trust yourself, because no matter how things go, you're the one who has to get you through.

maybe you’ll get hurt. we always run that risk. maybe you’ll be happier than you ever knew was possible. we just don't know! but you must be able to trust yourself to set and enforce boundaries, and if you find that your relationship is damaging to you, then you must be willing to walk away. 

i don’t meant to scare you or preach to you or anything. if this isn't what you wanted, i hope you will forgive me. i’m 22 years old and still figuring it out—i certainly have no great wisdom to share. it’s just… “i think i’ll let it.” your words resonate so deeply within me, it feels wrong not to offer you what i’ve learned. what i’m learning. 

i don't want to discourage you at all from embracing all the magic of the experience. the warm, happy glow, the lightness and the weight, how the world becomes more beautiful around you. feeling so safe, you want to sink down, curl up, and sleep inside the feeling. at the same time, feeling so happy, giddy, sparkly, all you want to do is laugh and dance. finally understanding all those songs and books and movies, and marveling at all the feelings you didn't think you’d ever feel, didn’t know you could feel, and suddenly becoming aware of how much the world has to offer you… there is nothing quite like this. 

[coughsyrupandvicodin]

eihiyo . you hate each other . you're always there for each other, except for when you're not . you know each other better than anyone else . you'll never be the single most important person to one another, no matter how much you want to be .

or, simply, deeply unrequited love .

frank ocean, white ferrari // courtney peppernell, pillow thoughts // trista mateer, i still forget we're not friends from honeycomb // royalquintet's translation of checkmate, originally by akira // frank o'hara, homosexuality // bye-bye buddy music video, screenshot by dailyhiyo // sylvia plath // tomoyajpeg's translation of white brim, originally by akira // fyodor dostovesky, crime and punishment

[musingwove]

A relationship around age 20

the bomb - Florence & the machine Wendy - maise Peters love bomb - Maude Latour