#on the bright side though I've got a diary now! and i will be using it

[greenpidge101]

My favorite It (book) Quotes

Mike: “ I’m almost done with this diary now-and I suppose a diary is all that it will ever be, and that the story of Derry’s old scandals and eccentricities has no place outside these pages. That’s fine with me; I think that, when they let me out of here tomorrow, it might finally be time to start thinking about some sort of new life… although, just what that might be is unclear to me. I loved you guys, you know. I loved you so much.” (page 1142)

Bill: “so drive away quick, drive away while the last of the light slips away, drive away from Derry, from memory… but not from desire. That stays, the bright cameo of all we were and we believed as children, all that shone in our eyes even when we were lost and the wind blew in the night. Drive away and try to keep smiling. Get a little rock and roll on the radio and go toward all the life there is with all the courage you can find and all the belief you can muster. Be true, be brave, stand. All the rest is darkness. “ (page 1150)

Eddie: “Far away. Unimportant. He could feel everything running out of him along with his life’s blood… All the rage, all the pain, all the fear, all the confusion and hurt. He supposed he was dying, but he felt… ah, God, he felt so lucid, so clear, like a window-pane which has been washed clean and now lets in all the glorious frightening light of some unsuspected dawning; the light, oh, God, that perfect rational light that clears the horizon somewhere in the world every second…… Not bad, he would begin. This is not bad at all.” (page 1086)

Stan: “I believe in the scarlet tanagers even though I never saw one,”he said in a high clear voice. The bird screamed and banked away as if he’d shot it. “Same with vultures, and the New Guinea mudlark, and the flamingos of Brazil. I believe in the golden bald eagle!” Stan screamed after that. “And I think there really might be a phoenix somewhere! But I don’t believe in you, so get the fuck out of here! get out! Hit the road, Jack!” (page 1046)

Richie: “He put the car in gear and went, feeling again how easy it had been to slip through an unsuspected fissure in what he had considered a solid life— how easy it was to get over onto the dark side, to sail out of the blue and into the black. Out of the blue, and into the black, yes, that was it. Where anything might be waiting.” (Page 71)

Ben: “I'm scared almost insane by whatever else I may remember before tonight's over, but how scared I am doesn't matter, because it's going to come anyway. It's all there, like a great big bubble that's growing in my mind. But I'm going, because all I've ever gotten and all I have now is somehow due to what we did then, and you pay for what you get in this world. Maybe that's why God made us kids first and built us close to the ground, because He knows you got to fall down a lot and bleed a lot before you learn that one simple lesson. You pay for what you get, you own what you pay for...and sooner or later whatever you own comes back home to you.” (page 83)

Beverly: “she laughed at the stars, frightened but free, her terror as sharp as pain and as sweet as a ripe October apple, and when the light came on in the upstairs bedroom of the house this stone wall belonged to, she grabbed a handle of her suitcase, and fled off into the night, still laughing.” (page 124-125)

Patty: “Crazily, she thought: I would call the turtle, but the turtle couldn’t help us.” (page 57)

[madfantasy]

Dear blogging

So happy I finished one of my biggies, happeir it made other's day (or just hurt their feels, I'm sorry I know im depressing heh 8"c

Hugs to dears💛

I've been doing nothing but strictly drawing lately, thanks to the wave of bugs that is paralysing my normal focus and gives me constant nightmares that jolts me awake every time I'm desperately fallen asleep. They are not as intense anymore, thankfully, but my paranoia wouldn't let out.

On the bright side, I am drawing more than ever and those sticky notes taken down at last after a century of em up 8D ✨️✨️✨️

(Just wanted to show a sense of their volume at the beginning, these are just the ones who perished and I thought I came out to piles of dirt, at first x'c)

In the pauses between the signing muse in my brain, in complete immersion, i don't remember what got me to guardians discussing something, and it came about the subject of mental health and trauma. Some way or another, I managed to tell one of my truths, which is that I am fairly certain that I am on the spectrum. Of course, it started with the usual denial and unreasonable yelling. Yelling that automatically shuts me down, but I yelled back even though my voice wasn't helping. It keeps disappearing alongside the ability to find words as I try to explain it all. Finally, I felt it dawned on them, and only when they said they 'now know it is to find help with', I broke down. They were comforting me by keep saying we'll fix it. I wanted to say it's not something broken to be fixed, but I was deep in hyperventilation to be able to articulate it..

It has been a few weeks since then, and I didn't want to bring it up because my chest was hurting me too long after the ordeal.

In a way, I don't know why i bothered to tell them because realistically, they can't do anything. As everything dear or near to me, I can't tell them causally, and it never had real bearing on anything. They need tending cause they are ill and elderly, and i do my best until it comes to dealing with people, I become just as crippled and can't function without them. I never show them my art, or tell em i want surgery for my dysphoria or I'm none of society's conditioning of identities or whatever they are willfully ignorant in. But I make points to remind them that im not a mere gender and I still correct them when they wrong name me, my simplest wishes they can't comply with. Even by the religionlNthey uphold, not to call women a degrading word in arabic that means that she is a forbidden object, they kept using it it but not around me... I don't know why i try, but they are my world, my only world, and the only humans i know and depend on. I'm not able to do anything now but draw, everything else i tried to do i either have forgotten or have no further means to do more, I might as well have forgotten how to speak English if it wasn't in everything I communicate with, consume and own set to it, and every now nd then write these so called diaries, ive already forgotten how to write my precious poems in arabic, or write in arabic as swiftly as i used to. I wake up most days with complete apathy or regret that I'm still living and costing to take space in this world.. my guardian asked me, who in support or women driving and having independent lives, if I could right now a chance learn to drive, will I do it. I said no. Even tho for years I knew with upmost certainty that I could do it, I always wanted to do it and have endless dreams of me driving, I always studied the booklets with our car to learn the road signs and all. But now I can't. Things I did by force of necessity on my own, I can't do anymore. I know I'm not the good elder sibling either cause I'm not always there to argue for my siblings, and it adds more and more to the guilt I can't clear, but I try buy them toys or a meal every chance I get commissioned.

I don't know what can be set in motion, at least I know I can hold on till 36, and while still having my drawing list to go through. Even with the same old interests, or hyperfixations should i say, things I can't change and seemingly have no gain posting around, especially when it comes to fanart. Otherwise, will be doodling fantasy junk such as these on me own

I wish all of you the best 🍀

Crying with makeup on and then laughing cuz I forgot I tried to do art on my face and now we can add 'crying in makeup' to our first time experiences lo' 10 pm, 6.6.2023

[technically-uh]

..to one fine day.

-a BTS fanfic <3

Summary: Jin, Yoongi, Hoseok (Hobi), Namjoon, Jimin, Taehyung(V) and Jungkook, former best friends, reuinte after over a decade and reignite their friendships, and rediscover what it is to be happy (and other life secrets).

Word Count: 2000 (aPPROx, i do not know the precise word count lol)

Triggers: Mentions of drinking, mild depressive thoughts.

Genre: Fluff (for now).

So, here it goes.

I have several memories of our little reunion. All the pictures we took; some of them hanging on the wall of Jin's local favorite bar as we got drunk and killed at their karaoke. I've got videos of it stored in my phone, and in my camera. I've got polaroid shots. I've got Jimin's shoes and V's cute little cat doll he gave me as a souvenir. I've got Yoongi's wine bottle kept safely in the fridge, untouched for a long time. I have Hoseok's umbrella that I took while leaving because it was raining cats and dogs. Speaking of cats and dogs, I still have Jungkook's pink cat ears he wore when he was drunk. I have a video and all of Jungkook grinning like mad and purring softly and us going ballistic at his sheer cuteness. I have my memory of the night safely stored in a slot in my brain where it can never be erased.

But I wanted to preserve this memory somewhere special. Somewhere intimate. I wanted that day (and night) to be kept safe, untainted by anything I'm going through or will ever go through. I wanted to freeze that day and keep it that way for thousands and thousands of years. And what better way is there to do this than to write it all down in my beloved diary, which I haven't touched since I bought it?

October 24, 20xx

We all met at V's house. V and Jimin lived together. The twins always did everything together, even though they didn't always want to. Jimin apparently couldn't afford an apartment and Taehyung could afford a two storey house, so I guess it made sense.

I was the third or fourth one who arrived there. It was raining already; little showers pouring here and there. I ran to the house covering my head with my hand and didn't notice Jin when he smacked me on my back as I ran in. "Namjoon has forgotten us!" exclaimed Jin dramatically, holding his hand to his chest. "I did not expect this from you." he said, pretending to be hurt.

"Everyone forgets you," deadpanned Yoongi as he stood at the entrance, hands in his pockets. Min Yoongi was the sarcastic one. The cold one. His heart was softer than those cheesecakes he made but he pretended otherwise.

Jin rolled his eyes at Yoongi as he held my back and pulled me into a hug. He then dragged me through the entrance lobby, bright yellow with golden lights and floor covered with a deep, red rug. It also had a solitary stool with a black, old-fashioned telephone on it that Jimin couldn't have bothered to own.

I have to admit, I was nervous to go there. To meet all of them again, after all these years. We were incredibly close at one point in school, but we all were of different ages and branched off in different paths at one point. We gradually lost touch and haven't seen each other in almost ten years. I was nervous about meeting them all over again. Life when they were around was so good. So pristine. I didn't want to ruin its pure goodness, in case something went wrong.

Halfway through the lobby on the right was the living room. And my jaw dropped.

It was a large, circular room with pretty, pastel-pink wallpapers with white stripes and a high ceiling. It was as large as my apartment. The hall had a big window on the left and cupboards, bookshelves and a T.V. on the right, and little tables with flower vases and vintage cassete players on them. There were two huge grey and white couches sticking to each other and facing the opposite sides, forming a T-shape. Sprawled on one of them was Jungkook. He beamed and grinned at me as I entered. There was also a huge, wooden staircase directly opposite to me which led to the upper floor.

I have to say, when i first saw Jungkook hugging Hobi's legs, shy and fearfully looking at us for the first time, I did not expect him to become the jacked, tatted, aesthetic man with a lip ring who was sitting in front of me that day.

Yoongi sat next to him and ruffled his hair. They both were wearing the same black T-Shirt with the grey sweatpants. They'd probably co-ordinated their outfits for the day.

Down came V, running, as he looked exactly opposite to what his house looked like. He was wearing a oversized caramel hoodie with black pants. He hopped down the creaky stairs straight into my arms.

I sat next to Jungkook and grinned as I looked around the house. "Wow," I said, raising one eyebrow.

"This is literally my job," said V, flailing his arms around.

"I didn't say anything," I said, still grinning.

We were all talking and catching up, V and Jin now sitting on the floor (with a circular green rug, I have no idea how they clean all of these things) when the door bell rang. Bright, white sunlight was streaming in through the window when Jimin entered, grinning. With his rainbow-coloured hair, circular specs and tie-die shirt, Jimin looked like the antithesis of V. He had a rings on almost every finger and wore Nike Air Jordans (knock-offs). He was wearing a pair of circular white Ray-Bans, and also had a mullet and a dazzling smile as he squeezed me into a hug. "I thought unicorns didn't exist," I said, as I hugged him back. "Apparently they do," he replied, grinning and bowing down, doing a flourish with his hands.

"Nah, you're not a unicorn," I replied. "Unicorns are definitely taller."

He widened his eyes in surprise but quickly recovered and smacked me as he said, "Not everyone can grow as tall as the Namsan towers like you." Then he elegantly flew in the air and ruffled Jungkook's hair, patted Yoongi's head ("Atleast you're still shorter than me," said Jimin) and started smacking Jin. Jimin was still a kid. He was somehow definitely the most grown-up yet the most childish person in our group. Maturity was completely out of the question.

Then came the second unicorn of our group. He didn't have to look like a unicorn to be one. Smiling and hopping, Hobi waltzed into the hall, screaming, as he attacked his nearest target (Yoongi) with a hug and moved on to everyone else. He was almost in tears when he said, "It's so good to meet you guys. It's been so long!"

We all practically shoved Yoongi, the Michelin-star chef, andJin into the kitchen. Jungkook went along with them because he was 'interested in cooking'. Jungkook was multi-talented; he basically aced everything he did. We were all very proud of him. V would show them around the kitchen and stand guard incase me, Jimin and/or Hobi decided to enter (he didn't want his kitchen on fire.)

Jimin, Hobi and I stayed outside. Hobi had just come from a major shooting and wanted to rest for awhile. He's a celebrity choreographer who works in.. any form of media that involves dancing. He is a big shot in the K-pop and K-drama industries, and is frequently called by Hollywood to do dance sequences. You get it, he is terribly famous. Everyone may not know him, but they know his name. And what he does.

He'd always been busy, and had to travel across the city to meet us, so lunch was a bit late; approximately by.. 3 o'clock in the afternoon. We'd all arrived at 11, and Hobi had arrived at 11. 30. Jungkook's stomach then growled, and we all remembered the existence of something called lunch. The four of them set off to making it straight away.

Jimin smiled at me as he led us away from the kitchen. He'd taken off his glasses, and without them he looked.. soft. Familiar. His eyes were dreamy and bright. Calm. J-Hope walked behind us as we approached the living room when Jimin stopped. "Wait, did Taehyung show you guys around the house?" he asked. "Come on then!" he chittered to our response. He led us further down the entrance lobby, away from the kitchen, to two rooms: one an office room ("We don't even work at home") and one full of artworks made by V. It contained stuff from the little doodles he made to the intricate paintings and wood carvings. From the clay worms to the deeply contemplative statues of his. It was his work alone.

He then took us to the upper levels with more rooms. One of them was a mini library, a big circular room with shelves of books on the walls and long reading tables. A low, handless couch dominated the centre of the room. There were big floor-to-ceiling windows on both sides of the wall, letting in bright light. There was also a play station, because of course there was.

Jimin then took us to the other rooms. They were all very large. V's room was very modern and elegant with a giant, white bed and a huge closet that looked like it was from a 1950's movie with nothing but black and white outfits, with the occasional color thrown in. The bathroom itself was almost as large as my master bedroom.

Me and Hobi jumped on the white, king-sized bed (in our socks) after Jimin regretfully declined to join us because "Taehyung will kill me." We all then flopped onto the bed for a while and engaged in some pillow-fighting. Jimin, the martial artist and law enforcer won in every single fight.

Jimin then showed us around his room. It had a cupboard, a water bed, a bean bag and a nightstand beside the bed. It was as large as V's closet. We again flopped on the water bed and rolled around, pushing each other off the bed and messing around with Jimin's voice assistant devices.

Overall, we were having a pretty good time when they called us for lunch.

__________________________________________________________

part 1/?

~Written as Namjoon.

✨️✨️✨️

Thank you for reading this! Hope you liked it :D

[and this is definitely NOT my attempt to wiggle out of actually studying for my math exam TOMORROW lol]

please give credits if you'd like to use/ reblog/repost both the fic and the pic! [aah i can't believe i made the edit asjkdksfkj it looks so aesthetic!!]

[katstratfordfanclub]

bro just know that sometimes I see your blog and i root for you to find a partner . dont give up

thanks man! i made this to repost all my romantic stuff from my main because the guy I've been crushing on for a year+ now found it and I got embarrassed lol. on the bright side though, he and I have actually been talking about those things and are trying to make something work while he's away at college. only a month until he's home! ill still be blogging as more things come to light as I kinda use tumblr as a diary of sorts :)

[paruecake]

4.11.22 - 10:32 am - Monday

I am on an Ascendance of a Bookworm rampage right now. I read everything that's currently published in about 2 weeks and I'm just dying for more. I even got a J-Novel Club subscription so I can at least read a new chapter every week, so I'm really excited that I have something like this to keep me going! Season 3 of the anime is going to start soon, so I'll have another thing to look forward to every week. Though I will say, part of me is a little afraid I'm not going to love the anime as much anymore, because I know they'll be skipping over a lot. Either way, I don't know how long I can live like this! I'm obsessed with this story and all of the characters, and it's all I've been thinking about since I started reading it. There's also a small part of me that's wondering how fast I can learn to read Japanese so I can keep reading, though I know that's juuuuust a bit unrealistic 😅

I tried reading the light novel for an anime I really liked - The Saint's Magic Power is Omnipotent, but I got so frustrated by how fast-paced everything seemed to be moving. I'm so used to reading about all of the daily details and minutia like in Bookworm that I just couldn't get used to it. So I'm putting it on hold for now, and am currently working on Tearmoon Empire. Maybe when I've read other stuff and Bookworm isn't so fresh in my mind, then I can try reading Saint's Magic Power again. I have a few other light novel series on my list that I can't wait to try also. Those would be:

Spice and Wolf

The Apothecary Diaries

Campfire Cooking in Another World With My Absurd Skill

My Next Life as a Villainess

By The Grace of Gods

How a Realist Hero Rebuilt the Kingdom

Cooking with Wild Game

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime

The Faraway Paladin

Basically I am just desperately trying to find light novels that will scratch the same itch that Bookworm gives me, although I should probably try not to compare too much or I'll end up getting disappointed. Anyway, this is a lot and clearly it's going to get expensive very fast. I'm prioritizing books I can checkout at the library, so at least that will help a lot

On the bright side too, I'm finding a lot of anime that I'm really interested in. I had the flu all weekend so I've just been sick in bed reading and watching anime. I'm also off today and tomorrow so I can actually recover properly and have a vacation like I was meant to (I was supposed to have a four day weekend but was sick for 3 days of it lol). Anyway... maybe I'll make a separate post about the anime I'm watching because this post is getting really long.

[unpleasant-ghoul]

After looting everything not nailed down in Nipton, killing Malcolm because 1. sneaking up on me when I'm trying to use a stimpack to NOT FUCKING DIE is not funny, 2. I want those caps, even though I've read the spoilers and know that the treasure is shit, and 3. I'm trying to be evil here, okay?.. Anyway, after that I still had to go to Novac!

Because that's what I'm supposed to do. Go to Novac.

From my previous character I remembered some bandits on the road I took the first time, so I had the bright idea to avoid that and go in the same direction but somehow differently.

That's pretty logical, yes?

Except my ability to navigate is Zoro levels of bad. Give me a map, a compass, a clear instruction on how to get to a place, and marvel at how I miraculously end up nowhere near it.

First I ended up near Searchlight. Cool, but not what I wanted. I checked out the farm, read the diary. Watched some Legion dudes get killed by NCR, judging by the dogs those were not just some Legion dudes, but ones that were accompanying Vulpes in Nipton. Anyway, I didn't help either side, just waited for it to be over and looted the corpses. And good thing I did that, because...

I turned around and tried again. Novac. I reached it once, so how hard could it be?

I tried a shortcut. Oops, that was the one with the deathclaw.

Okay, a different one then. Huh, a few scorps. I killed them easily enough. Spotted big ones in the distance, aggroed one, got stung, and that's where the loot from the Legion came in - probably would have died if not for the antivenom. Tried to steer clear of the other ones...

Well, the good news - I now know where the Black Mountain is!

Better news: I had a stealthboy on me, so I was able to escape the centaurs.

I climbed onto some rocks, and continued my way. And that's how I discovered the Scorpion Gulch.

Turning back? Hell no. So I took my guns, and I took my dynamite, and...

Eeeyup. Took some time and all of my good ammo - I now only have ammo for my varmint rifle, and not a lot of that. But I killed them. All of them. Every single scorpion in the gulch, and one or two on the other side of it. And now I'm level 5, and on my way to Novac.

Funniest thing about this is how my character is supposed to be smart, 8 intelligence and all, but with me in control... Yeah.