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hopelessromantic727 · 4 years

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Calum Hood- Wildflower

Word Count: 1592

Pairing: Calum Hood x Reader

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

He had been inspired by the tattoo on the side of her left wrist. Her wildflower tattoo had intrigued him for a while. It wasn't her only tattoo, she had others, but the wildflower tattoo stood out because of its colors.

He asked her about it early on in their relationship when he found an appropriate time to ask about it.

She had smiled at him and looked down at her tattoo, beginning to explain the significance.

"Well, it's kind of a long story..." she said, looking at Calum.

"You can tell me," he said, "as long as you're comfortable with it."

She sighed, looking at her tattoo for a moment and then turning towards him.

"A wildflower symbolizes happiness. It's beautiful and has a lot of colors, making it more noticeable than others. It is said that those who get a wildflower tattoo want happiness in their lives or that they're a happy person." She said, smiling at him.

He leaned towards her, "do any of those apply to you?"

She nodded, "I didn't have the best life growing up, I went through many hardships on my own, but I was grateful that I had everything I needed." She paused for a moment, her eyes wandering outside the window of the cafe.

"The wildflower became my favorite flower when I was at a low point in my life. It was what I wanted. Happiness. It also reminded me of one of my best friends, Cameron, who passed away during that low point in my life."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Calum said, feeling bad. Instead of being sad like he had expected Y/N to be, she just smiled and shook her head.

"It's fine besides he was part of the reason I got it. He was always a very happy and positive person. His passing made me realize how special and precious life is. It made me learn that I should be happy instead of crying all the time. That's what he would've wanted. So," she placed her arm on the table, turning it so Calum could see the wildflower tattoo along with his name tattooed under it, "I got his name tattooed on his birthday, and, on the one-year anniversary of his passing, I got the wildflower tattoo. The best decision I ever made."

"I see you also got other tattoos..." he said, pointing at one located on the side of the palm of her hand.

"Yeah, that one is the sign of a Gemini. He was a Gemini, and my moon sign is also Gemini. I also like them in general," she chuckled, "they're very fun, loving, and optimistic-"

"Like he was?" he finished for her.

She nodded, smiling.

"I'm guessing the anchor tattoo on your right wrist is supposed to keep you grounded? Because of its safety and stability?" he asked, looking at her, grinning.

"And it also symbolizes hope and a happy, brilliant life," she said excitedly.

"You're happier than I thought," he said, smiling at how she acted like a small child.

"I try to be. Maybe I could be your band’s cheerleader," she said, tracing the tattoo on his left hand with her finger.

"What about being my personal cheerleader?" he said playfully.

"Damn, you're really selfish," she smirked at him.

He closed his eyes and put a hand over his chest dramatically, acting like her comment affected him. He smiled when he heard her laugh.

They continued to laugh and joke around for the rest of the evening until the owner of the cafe kicked them out when it was time to close.

When he was driving her to her house, they continued talking. It was hard to look away from her when she started talking about her love for the 80s.

He parked his car on the side of the road next to a park and she continued talking about her favorite music and movies from the 80s.

"Anything 80s inspired, I love it!" She said, using her hands, showing her excitement.

He listened intently, not wanting to miss a single detail. At that moment, he realized how important and special she was, especially to him.

"I'm never giving her away," he thought, "she's the one."

* * * * * * *

A week after their date, Calum was at the studio with the guys, talking to them about her.

"Mate, I've never seen you this happy before," Ashton said, placing his hand on Calum's shoulder.

"I think cool guy Cal here finally found the one," Luke said, ruffling Calum's hair.

"Hey!" He said, stepping away from them, fixing his hair while Luke and Ashton laughed.

Calum turned towards Michael, who was playing random chords on his guitar. He had played something that intrigued Cal. He stopped for a moment, not knowing if he should bother continuing.

"Hey, keep going," Calum said, walking towards Michael and joining him on the couch, "I think you're getting somewhere."

Luke and Ashton joined them, sitting down on the chairs in front of the couch. Ashton started drumming his fingers on his leg, and Luke closed his eyes, focusing on the guitar.

Calum started singing what was on his mind. "I hear you calling out my name, it makes me smile, it makes me shake," he started smiling, thinking about Y/N, "I see the color in your veins..."

* * * * * * *

The band was in the studio listening to their now finished song "Wildflower." Calum was smiling at the finishing product. When they finished writing the song, Calum had talked with the producer telling him his vision and what he wanted in the song. He was glad when he understood perfectly and produced the song to his liking. The song was better than what he had imagined.

They all cheered when the song was over.

"The song is amazing!" Luke said, smiling.

"I bet Y/N would like it," Ashton said, looking over at Calum, who was blushing at his comment.

"When are you gonna tell her?" Luke asked.

When the fellow bassist looked at him confused, Luke, hoping to make himself clear, said, "When are you gonna tell her about the song and that you wrote it for her?"

Calum leaned back against his seat, thinking about what Luke said.

He hadn't thought about it.

Calum started getting anxious.

What is she going to think about it? Will she like it? Will she get mad?

Is she going to think that I used her vulnerability to make a song about it? Is she going to think that all I care about is the money and attention the song would get?

Is she going to leave me?

"I honestly don't know..." he said, looking at his bandmates.

* * * * * * *

"Hey, I have to tell you something," Calum said, sitting down on Y/N's couch. After talking about it with his bandmates, he texted her, asking if he could come over. She had responded with, "sure, why not."

He was anxious on his way to her house, but the nerves went away when she had opened the door with a smile on her face. They came back, when after talking for a bit he sat down, remembering why he had asked her if he could come over.

She sat down beside him on the couch, "oh god, what did you do this time?" she asked with a smile on her face.

"I hope nothing bad..." he said, nervously looking down at his hands.

Her smile dropped when she noticed his serious tone, reaching down to take his hand in hers, she smiled at him.

"Hey, it's okay," she said, "you can tell me, no need to be nervous."

He smiled at her, "I'm here to listen," she said.

"Yeah, you are" she stared at him confused as he took his phone out from his back pocket.

"I'm going to play something for you," he said, looking for the song on his phone, "I want you to tell me your honest opinion about it."

She nodded as he found it and pushed the play button.

He was looking at her face the entire time the song was playing. She was nodding her head along with the music. She looked at him when the song was over.

"So... what do you think?" he asked, nervously looking at her eyes.

"I like it a lot, it's my type of music," she said smiling.

He smiled back at her when he confirmed that she was telling the truth.

"Thank god, I thought you would be mad," he said, leaning back on the couch.

"Why would I be mad?" she asked, looking at him.

"Because I wrote it about you," he said, meeting her gaze.

"About me?" He nodded.

"Wow..." she said, surprised, not knowing what to say.

"You inspire me a lot, you know, and it was hard not to write about you when you're a great person."

"I'm honored, thank you." She said sincerely, her features softening.

"No need to thank me, I should be the one thanking you for the inspiration."

"Well, you're welcome," she said, giggling.

He opened his arms for her. She smiled as she laid down on him, placing her head on his chest and wrapping her arms around his waist as he wrapped his arms around her.

He placed a kiss on top of her head, mumbling, "I love you."

She sighed happily, "I love you too."

~the end~

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wastelandcth · 4 years

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5 Years - cth

part of love songs for calum, a love series.

summary: calum finds himself imagining what the next five years hold for you two. based off the song 5 years - noah and the whales.

author’s notes: welcome to my february series! where i’m writing blurbs based around love songs with calum! i hope you enjoy!

warnings: mentions of implied smut.

masterlist || request

Calum's life had never been predictable. Ever since he was a child he was never able to predict what he'd be doing a year from now. But when Calum met you, he started imagining what his life could be like if things worked out between the two of you. Whenever he was bored on a tour bus or when the nights alone on tour kept his brain awake, he'd imagine what life with you could be like in the next couple of years.

One day, when the February sun had shone high above in the sky and both you and Calum had enough time away from the busy lives to spend more than just the night together, you found yourselves at the zoo. The weather had been perfect and the zoo itself wasn't too busy, which meant that strolling through the empty walkways and stopping to watch the animals graze around their exhibits was the perfect way to spend the day.

"Did you know elephants have the biggest brain of any of the mammals?" Calum mumbled happily, looking over at you as you both stopped to watch one of the baby elephants trot after it's sibling, making little trumpet noises.

"Really? They must be very smart then," you mumbled, a smile on your face as you watched the little one jump into the puddle.

Before you knew it, your vision was black and you felt the warmth from Calum's hands on your skin. Laughing softly and trying to pry his hands from your eyes, you couldn't help but whine quietly as you heard the trumpeting from the elephants.

"Calum! Let me see!" you whined and managed to peek through in between his fingers just in time to see the baby elephant stumble into the puddle, both you and Calum chuckling as you leaned into one another.

Calum had a memory in his head of when you two went to the beach in Sydney. How the sun was so warm and the sand was soft against his skin. He remembered how excited you had been to see the famous beaches of Australia and you'd practically begged him to take you as soon as you'd settled into the hotel room. He remembers how quiet you'd gotten when you arrived at the beach and you'd finally got your first taste of the ocean breeze, how your eyes were trained on the waves and the horizon.

Calum took many pictures on that trip, pictures of the view from the ocean so he could show you whenever you felt down. He took pictures of the food you both ate, of the good plates, and the more questionable midnight snacks you'd find yourself eating. But Calum's favorite picture was one of you laying on the Sydney beach, the sun shining down on you while your head was in his lap. He'd kept that picture close to his heart, making sure he reminded you that you could always go visit the beach and stare at the ocean whenever you wanted to.

The first time you and Calum got drunk together, it had been an accident. A night out to dinner with the band had led to both of you drinking way too many glasses of wine from the Italian restaurant that Ashton had raved about for more than a month before the guys all decided to make a night out of it. The pasta had been very cheesy and the wine had been strong, which had led to both of you leaning into the other as you walked down the cobblestone streets of the little plaza.

You were leaning against the wall, watching as Calum took a pull of the cigarette he had lit a few minutes ago. His head was tilted back as he let the puff of smoke leave his lips.

"I'm drunk." he mumbled quietly, his words slurred and his chest rumbling with laughter, "Don't think I've ever gotten this drunk this fast, Whatever they put in that wine, oof." he chuckled and nodded, holding out the cigarette to her.

"Mm, it was definitely a strong one." you chuckled, taking the cigarette from his hands and taking a pull, feeling the burn in your lungs as you exhaled.

"I think I love you," he whispered as you both stood next to each other in silence. "I have for a while."

"I think I love you too."

Calum always felt happy when he was around you. He could be himself, not the Calum Hood that was known for being a musician and a heartbreaker. He could be the Calum he always was when he was by himself. That night, after he'd told you that he loved you and you’d said it back, things had changed. Calum wasn't afraid to be that person he had been hiding away for so long. He wasn't afraid to just show up in the same hoodie he'd worn for three days in a row because he knew you'd still love him.

He'd mentioned it to you, on a day where you were both tangled in the bedsheets and his curls were stuck to his forehead while your hair was sprawled out over his chest. How happy he felt with you, that he'd never been as happy before then he was with you. You had smiled up at him, pressing a kiss on to his collarbone tattoo. "Yeah? Well, I'm always pretty happy when I'm just here with you."

Calum loved making love to you. He loved how he felt close to you whenever he had you under him or on top of him. He loved how you squirmed under his touch while his hands held your waist tight to the end of the bed. Making love to you was different than the casual sex you two were usually having. It was soft kisses and hips meeting in the bed that you both had shared many times before. It was soft grunts and whines that left both of you as you chased a high. He loved the little noises you would make as their hips met. Calum loved how at the end of every night he would end up tangled in your arms, chest heaving, and kisses being left on his skin.

"Do you think this feeling will ever go away?" you asked him one night, your hands running through the curls that you had been pulling not too long ago.

"Hmm?" he asked softly, "I hope so. I love being in love with you." he chuckled, his lips leaving a trail of kisses from your shoulder until they met yours, your legs pulling him closer for the long night you had both been craving.

Sometimes when Calum got lost in his head, with thoughts of what his future would look like, he realized just how easy it would be to lose you. All the moments he'd come up with, a house with a big yard for dogs, a car big enough to hold a stroller and car seats, and even just two rocking chairs on a porch where you could both sit and enjoy the Australian summer. Those could easily be lost, with mistakes and fights where Calum's emotions got the best of him, gone and never to become a reality.

He was lying in bed one night, far away from the home and from you, when his thoughts caused his heart to race. When he realized just how easily he could lose you and everything you two had built.

"I just don't understand how you could be so selfish, Calum?!" you groaned, your hands running through your hair for the tenth time in a matter of seconds, "How could you think you could make all these big decisions without thinking of me?"

"You're just being dramatic. It's part of my job, you knew this would be the case. You signed up for this!" Calum threw back, his own eyes rolling as he finished packing up his suitcase.

"You’re leaving for almost two years, Calum!" you shouted, tears pricking your eyes, "Did you even think about how that would affect me?" you asked and scoffed, "Of course you didn't, all you do is think about yourself."

Calum didn't know when things had gotten this bad, when the small little arguments turned into fights where he would end up at Ashton's house, trying his best to fall asleep on the leather couch. But he was tired of all the fighting, tired of all the insults thrown between the two of you. He thought that maybe if he just broke things off, that things would get better. But then there he was, watching you grab our bag and walk out the door and he never felt so scared in his life.

"Cal?" your voice whispered, bringing Calum back to reality one day, "Are you there, sweet boy?"

"Hmm? Yeah, sorry, just got lost in thought." Calum mumbled and chuckled quietly, "What were you saying again?"

"That's okay," you laughed and shook your head, "I was saying we should stop by that gelato place near our Airbnb, they had a lot of cool flavors."

Calum nodded, smiling as he watched you take a sip of the Italian wine you'd been nursing. The sun was setting behind you, making the perfect background of reds and oranges. The small getaway that Calum had planned for you both had been the perfect way to get some time together afterlife became too much and schedule conflicts meant you two hadn't seen much of the other person in a few weeks. It had also been your six-year anniversary, which meant each day of your trip was filled with little surprises from one another. Little moments where the love you had proved every bad thought Calum had wrong.

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calumthoodposts · 5 years

Text

Broken Home | Part 4

Warnings: Vomiting

Adronitis- the frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.

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It certainly wasn't a secret to either of the people sitting at the counter peacefully enjoying breakfast that the brunette boy was incredibly hungover. He had woken up in Reyna's bed with no recollection of what had happened after he left the bar. Now, there he was standing in the hallway entrance with nothing but his shorts on. Calum knew he looked worse for wear with his hair sticking up in every-which-way. He wasn't bothered to fix his appearance after he woke up to a cold bed and a glass of water accompanied by some type of painkiller on the nightstand beside him. Disorientation ran rampant through his head as he took in Reyna's room in all of its ordinariness. The only decoration that stood out was his t-shirt laying in a crumpled mess on the floor.

When the caramel-skinned girl was nowhere to be found, he jumped out of bed and traipsed to the kitchen to find her but, much to his dismay, he only saw his two friends looking at him with unreadable expressions. "You look like you got absolutely smashed last night," Ashton spoke, forking more food into his mouth. Calum said nothing and stumbled to the sink to place the empty glass down, wincing slightly at the noise it made. "Where's Reyn' at?" Calum dished himself some pancakes before sitting down beside Ashton at the island. His two friends were staring at him wordlessly like he was completely git, in which they wouldn't be absolutely wrong. "She went to work. She got the job, did she not tell you?" KayKay shifted her gaze from Calum to Ashton and gave him a look that the tan boy couldn't decipher. Her words were short and they had Calum feeling like a teenager who stayed out past his curfew. He had no idea Reyna had gotten the job and he felt irritated that she hadn't said anything to him. It was lost on him as to why he was kept out of the loop when he had made it evident that he cared. "No, she didn't," Calum spoke shortly, knowing his annoyance was clear. "It's not like you gave her much of a chance, mate." Ashton easily defended the girl. "You were gone all day yesterday and we all know what you were doing judging by the battle scars." Ashton nodding his head toward Calum made him furrow his eyebrows in confusion before he looked down at his chest. Hickies and scratch marks covered the expanse of his skin. Bluish-purplish marks everywhere with lines of red as an accent. "But we didn't…" Calum trailed off cluelessly. He wracked his brain for any recollection of what had happened between him getting smashed with his friends and him leaving the bar. He remembered pieces of the night like a jigsaw that he couldn't put together correctly. "You and Reyna didn't, no. Mate, I've got no idea who you were with last night. How pissed did you get?" Calum didn't answer his question. Instead, he felt his stomach turn as he desperately tried to remember the events of the night before. Dizzying images flashed behind his eyelids, fuzzy and blurred memories that had him racing down the hall and into the bathroom to throw up the glass of water he had drunk. He heaved into the porcelain bowl as everything started playing like a movie reel in his throbbing head. The quality was shit though, and Calum could hardly see what happened. He recalled the feeling of warm hands tearing his shirt off of him and lips attaching to his that tasted like some fruity drink. What he could see was a blonde girl writhing beneath him with her head thrown back into the pillows, and he heaved stomach acid into the toilet again. Nothing was vivid until he remembered stumbling through the door to the apartment and eventually into Reyna's room. Her dark hair against the white of her sheets was ethereal to him and she seemed to glow on her own without the help of the city lights, and her asking him to stay set a fire in his stomach. He was completely pissed, but the way she tensed in his arms shortly after he kissed her head had him screaming at himself mentally with regret for crossing that boundary. It took him the better half of an hour to drag himself off of the bathroom floor, flush his mess, and brush his teeth. His head throbbed and his ears rang at every sound. He got his shirt from Reyna's room in a pitiful attempt to cover the damage he had already displayed. KayKay and Ashton were curled on the couch staring at their phones when he finally reemerged into the room. There's nothing that he could think of to say. His best friends' disappointment was clear enough to him without them having to voice it out loud and, quite frankly, he wasn’t sure he could handle hearing it. "I put your pancakes in the fridge. The syrup is still on the counter. You should definitely eat something." The dark-haired girl offered the mess of a boy a soft smile before turning back to her phone and leaning her head on Ash's shoulder. Calum nodded even though he knew she wasn't paying attention to him anymore. Shuffling to the refrigerator, he retrieved his breakfast and sat back at the counter. The air was filled with unspoken tension that may have just been on his side of things but still made him uncomfortable nonetheless. "These are delicious, thank you, Kay," Calum mumbled through a mouthful of pancakes. He hated the silence that was as thick as smog. It made him think of the person he couldn't get out of his head. "I didn't make them, Reyna did." The knife in his heart twisted and the silence returned to the room, nearly suffocating him as he continued to eat. She wouldn't leave his mess of a brain and maybe when he stopped fighting it things would be okay.

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Seeing her home was strange. Reyna had been staying with Calum for three days before she was finally allowed to go back to her apartment and retrieve what she needed, not being allowed to stay since their rent was overdue and the landlord wanted to "cut his losses" instead of taking a risk with more drug paraphernalia. Calum thought it was unfair of him to make that call considering that the neighbor a few doors over had a syringe by the door accompanied by pornographic moans that were loud enough for the complexes a few streets over to hear. Reyna confirmed that it was a daily ritual. He could whinge all he wanted but the truth was that a part of him was happy that she had to stay with him in the least weird way possible. Within the three days she was staying with them, he had grown more perplexed by her. There were small habits she had and a different kind of humor that he never had seen in L.A. and that kept him curious about her. Calum wanted to delve deeper into who she was, and if that meant she would have to be evicted from her apartment and relocated into his temporary one so be it. He was selfish like that. His curiosity for her only grew when he took in the place she called home. The blinds were drawn and only a bit of light peaked through, a small detail that seemed less like a characteristic of her but more of her prat of an ex-boyfriend. At the same time, it seemed very much like her. Closed off at moments but, in others, open enough to see what made her tick. She disappeared down a slim hallway to where he assumed was her bedroom. Calum stood in the living room taking in the beer bottles and a to-go box sat messily scattered on the table in front of the couch. Each side of the musty green furniture had end tables, one being neat and supporting a lamp and a coaster, the other having used napkins, candy wrappers, plastic bags, and tobacco cans haphazardly scattered on top and underneath it. Calum didn't have to think too hard on which side was Reyna's. The rest of the room had minimal furniture and the only memento was the fist-sized hole in the wall. He wondered about how it got there and thought of asking Reyna. He was also afraid that he wouldn't want to hear her answer. Deciding that he had seen everything there was to see he followed to where Reyna had disappeared. She had a camo duffle bag placed on the end of the queen-sized bed where she stuffed clothes from her drawers into. There wasn't much and Calum noticed that camo didn't seem very much like her at all. Again, his eyes wandered from wall to wall, taking in the starkness of it all. A few miscellaneous items were strewn about on the top of one of the dressers, along with a bookcase in the corner that was full of novels on all of the shelves except one. There were picture frames and little trinkets on it and Calum inched forward with curiosity. The first of three frames held a picture of Reyna and a very fluffy looking dog. She was smiling widely down at it while it licked her chin with seemingly the same enthusiasm. Her hair was shorter in that picture, just below her jawline, and he couldn't help but feel like it fit her just as well as her waist-length curls did now. She looked beautiful either way. The one on the right was a picture of Aaron with the same dog, except Aaron's smile was much less smile-inducing and the dog looked elsewhere, seemingly distracted. It was the frame in the middle that caught Calum's attention. Reyna stood beside Aaron with a smile as large as life on her face. Her dimples protruded adorably and a lavender dress hung on her frame, clinging to all of the right places and making her look like a queen. Aaron's hand was wrapped around her waist while she clung onto him with adoration. Calum couldn't believe that Aaron had seen her look so breathtaking and still chose to treat her the way he did. Either the man had the world's supply of self-control or he was an absolute whacka, and Calum decided to go with the latter. Reyna cleared her throat from beside him and his gaze landed on her. He noticed that she had gotten thinner since then and the photo and her hair was much longer, meaning it must have been longer than a year or so since it had been taken. "That was at his sister's wedding. It was a really good day." Her voice was reminiscent and she stared with nostalgia. "You looked beautiful," Calum concluded and she snapped her eyes to him in mild surprise, her lips parting slightly as her wild eyes stared at him curiously. "I think you should take this one with you, as a keepsake." He didn't reach for the photo in the middle, but the one beside it instead. He didn't want to suggest keeping anything that might remind her of the tosser. She smiled as he handed the frame to her and was silent for a spell. "Her name was Duchess. The best dog I had ever owned and my best friend for the longest time." Calum watched as she stared at the photo in her hand. Neither of them said a word until she placed the duffel that was on her shoulder on the ground, unzipped it, and placed the frame inside of it. "Shall we?" Reyna asked with a smile that showed a surprising amount of confidence. Calum gently took the bag off of her shoulder and placed it over his own before she could protest. He gave her a look with raised eyebrows, daring her to complain. She petulantly huffed before walking toward the door with a slight shake of her head. Calum couldn't help the chuckle and the smile that spread across his face when she stopped suddenly, whispering a quiet 'wait' before she darted back to the bookshelf. She stood on her tiptoes and reached a book off of the top shelf, just barely reaching it with her fingertips, before running back to Calum's side after she had it safely clutched to her chest. "Okay, I'm ready."

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She didn't get back to the apartment until around six-thirty, which had Calum impatiently trying to pass the time by watching shitty tv shows that he didn't know the name of and didn't care to learn. He scrolled through his Instagram and Twitter countless numbers of times and texted his mum and Mali back. Ashton and KayKay had gone out with Luke, Michael, and the rest of their friends to a club a few miles away. Calum easily declined the offer to go with them, talking things out with Reyna being his top priority. Every breath he breathed in felt guilty. While he was still miles away from knowing all of her–a part of him feeling like he would never fully memorize her–he knew her well enough to know that his actions were stupid, especially considering her past. He stumbled drunkenly into her room, undoubtedly smelling like whiskey, which is what she had said was his staple. Calum was still covered in bite marks from the stranger with the long blonde hair, a person he would probably never see again, and had crawled into the dark-haired beauty's bed as though she was an afterthought. She was anything but. Even in his pissed state of fucking some girl senseless, he knew himself enough to know that his eyes were closed the entire time for one reason. Reyna quickly became an integral part of all of their lives. KayKay, Sierra, and Crystal were overjoyed to add another girl in the group, Sierra voicing how annoying it was to be "outnumbered by testosterone". Group outings had been very limited, but they hung out in the apartments nearly every day. Reyna was still quiet and introverted at times, but she was slowly relaxing and joining in on the banter one step at a time. Everyone grew to enjoy her collected presence even though her role in the group didn't have all of the kinks worked out yet. Crystal irritably grumbled when she found out that Reyna wasn't going to the club with them, which Calum presumed that she wouldn't have wanted to go anyway because of the atmosphere that might resurface unwanted memories. The girl had left the biggest impression on Calum, clearly. He didn't know what it was about her that wouldn't leave his mind. Perhaps, he thought, it was his inner-hero complex lusting to feel needed. He had come to her 'rescue', and was more than happy to walk out with a bruised face since he was accompanied by the girl. Maybe she was a little sister in some way to him that justified his overwhelming urge to protect her. That thought immediately shoved its way out of his mind and he cringed in slight disgust up at the ceiling. As much as he hated the idea of romance and love, he couldn't resist liking Reyna slightly more than just platonically. He was absolutely pissed at himself for it. Why he always liked women who loved other men was a complication lost on him entirely. He didn't want to like her. Love was something that only had led to heartbreak for him in the past and he had no intention of doing it again. Repeating the same action over and over again expecting a different result was insanity, they say. Calum allowed a childish whine to pass his lips when a voice in his head told him the cliche of this being different. After a whole week of spending ample time with her, he wasn't anywhere closer to really knowing her. He constantly tried to piece together fragments of the brief stories she would tell about herself, but none of them helped him understand what her favorite book was or favorite ice cream flavor. He knew her past was rocky and he often found that favorites could be chosen freely. He found himself wanting to know them all. These questions could only be answered by her though, and he'd more than willingly spend forever listening to her list them off. His lovesick afternoon was spent with thoughts swirling in his fried brain like a whirlpool. He needed to get a fucking grip. His prayers were answered and his slipping into insanity halted when he heard the door handle turn. He smiled in relief, slightly worried that she legged it, before lying back on the couch in a pathetic effort to pretend as though he wasn't anxiously waiting for her like a bloody lunatic. He lied on the armrest that allowed him to see the kitchen, conveniently, and he watched as she entered from the entryway. Her eyes immediately landed on him as she set her key on the kitchen counter. "Hey," she greeted sweetly. "Glad to see you survived your hangover." Calum chuckled at her and shook his head. Before he had a chance to reply, she spoke again. "Where is everyone else?" "They went to a club somewhere," Calum informed her and moved his legs off the couch as she came over to plop down on the side opposite of him with a sigh. She looked at him humorously. "And why didn't you go with them? Didn't fancy another sledgehammer to your skull in the morning?" "Fancy? You're sounding an awful lot like an Aussie." Calum retorted sarcastically. She rolled her eyes at him, but he couldn't help but find it endearing how she was picking up on some of their slang. She was like water, he noticed. Having the ability to adapt to anything that was put in front of her and he deeply admired her for it. "I actually wanted to talk to you." He cut to the chase, having already sat waiting for hours. Anticipation threatened to swallow him whole. "Oh?" Reyna looked at him and frowned. "What about?" Calum noticing the way her fingers laced together nervously spoke quickly to ease her worry. "Nothing bad, I think. I just wanted to apologize for last night." She cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes. “Apologize for what exactly?" "I feel like shit," Calum admitted and ran a hand through his hair. "I came in late and woke you up. I probably smelled outright terrible and not to mention-" Calum trailed off and looked down at his clothed chest. He wasn't sure whether or not she had even seen the marks, but he hated himself if she did. "Calum, it's okay. Really." She laughed at him but he failed to find any humor in it. "You didn't smell awful, you actually smelled like flowers because of whoever you had spent the night with. You're an adult and you're allowed to do those things with whoever you want. Not to mention you were even thoughtful enough to brush your teeth." I don't want to do 'those things' with whoever, he thought to himself. He wasn’t that man who slept around with whoever was fitting and he felt disheartened that she accepted that idea without any hesitance. Calum didn’t want her seeing him that way, but he knew that he hadn’t exactly shown her any differently. Her denying his apology on the premise that he didn't smell terrible but like another girl didn't help his case. Not only did he shag another girl, but he also brought her scent into Reyna's bed. She was great at acting like she was fine and maybe he could have imagined it, but he noticed the way her smile faltered at the mention of another girl and it gave him some sick sense of hope. "I'm still sorry." Calum tried again. If it was his imagination, he wanted to at least clear his conscience. "Apology not accepted," she tutted. "You're allowed to do whatever you want and my feelings shouldn’t stop you from doing anything differently." With that being her final word, she stood up and headed into the kitchen to fill a glass with water. She leaned against the counter and faced him, watching him with under analytical gaze. "At least let me say thank you." Calum pressed. "For what?" Her lips pressed into a line and it forced her dimple on her left cheek to announce itself, while her eyebrows crinkled together. "Leaving me water and pain meds for the unbearable headache I had. And everything else." "Calum, it's fine, really. It's the least I could do and plus I'm used to it." She spoke dismissively. Calum's shoulders tensed and he bit his lip, looking down at his laced-together fingers. He had fucked up. He wanted nothing more than to show Reyna the life that she had been missing out on; the life she deserved, and he wanted to be the one to give it to her. After last night's stupid antics, he didn't see himself as any better than Aaron. Calum had come back drunk off his arse and climbed into bed with her like it was some habitual chore akin to locking up a house before going to bed. She wasn't some damned assignment, and he wished he could remember everything that happened the night before. He wished he could remember the exact feeling of falling asleep next to her for the first time. But he couldn't, simply because the only time he had the guts to do so was when he was absolutely pissed out. "I'm sorry, that came out sounding very loaded and I didn't mean it like that." Reyna apologized quickly and made her way back to the couch that he was brooding on. "Aaron just used to- well, you know. It just became a habit." Habit. It astounded him how she could continually surround herself with assholes who treated her awfully and disguise it as something as common as a habit. While he didn’t think he was the devil in this particular instance, he hated how she wrote herself as the catalyst for it all. He wondered what other justifications were swimming through her mind to come wrongfully to his defense. Her nervous ticks were on full display. She gnawed on her lower lip and hugged her arms around her waist as she sat down close beside him. It wasn't enough for them to be touching and he wouldn't mind if they were, but he could see how she gingerly calculated everything she did. He wished desperately that he could take one look at her and know what she was thinking, but she left him without the slightest clue. "I know you didn't. I just hate myself for putting you in a position that can be in any way similar to what he did." Calum brought his attention to her face that was ridden with concern and hesitancy. "You're already living with the memory. I don't want to be a walking reminder." Her hand suddenly resting innocently on his thigh broke the unspoken touch barrier she had previously. "Calum, you're so far from that." What a little shit he was for cooking up an apology just for it to end with her consoling him. This was a woman who had gone through hell already, never failing to bring him peace of mind. She was a rock. Life was hard and strange and for the better half of, it utter shit. She had gone through the worst of it, so when she was faced with a problem, she sat down, took a deep breath, tied up her shoelaces, and got on with it. "You helped me when I couldn't help myself. Hell, you still do. I know a week isn't a lot of time to get to know someone and I probably don't know half as much about you as I think I do, but you're the most grateful, thoughtful, and forgiving person I've ever met." Calum's steady gaze was on her. He took in the way her lips moved when she spoke and how they curled upward as she offered him an endearing smile. “Well, when you aren’t being a prideful dickhead, that is.” Calum chuckled at her halfheartedly, having long since relaxed under her touch, her confession kept his heart beating rapidly in his chest. Like firestones, he rested his hand on hers and there were static sparks everywhere. Admiration danced like lights in her warm eyes that watched him so carefully, pondering what she was going to say next. "Hood, you are pretty much the only thing that makes me want to get up in the morning. Me waking up beside you was a goddamn blessing."

#calum hood #calum hood imagine #luke hemmings #luke hemming imagines #michael clifford #michael clifford imagine #ashton irwin #ashton irwin imagine #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer imagine #5sos #sierra deaton #KAYKAY #kaykay blaisdell #Crystal Leigh

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touchyfeli-blog · 5 years

Text

Dear Nannie,

Where do I begin? I can't believe the anniversary of your death is only a few days away. Honestly, in the past 6 years, life without you has not been easy. There are many times that I want to pick up the phone or jump in my car to see you, hear your voice, to sit on your lap, to feel your hug just one more time. I am writing to you to fill you in the past 6 years since you have been gone. I will start with the year you died.

2013: After we buried you, we had an awesome dinner at your brother Curtis’ house. The food was great, but it didn't taste like yours. Later that night, we left for the beach. The beach was fun, but all I could do was think of you. I went back to college that fall to start my junior year. Cody and I started dating in December. Caden and Jordan are still in Washington.

2014: Our dog Annie Grace died on New Years Day, she was hit by a car. Pappy met Lula and they were married that April. I know you didn't want him to keep grieving you and I think you would've wanted him to move on. Cody and I are still together. Bubb was in a bad car accident and almost died. He was also battling a drug addiction and almost over dosed several times. He moved to Ohio to live with John Wayne and Melissa. He needed to get away from the drugs. We got another dog named Bella, and she is the cutest. Aaron and Macie got married. Brooke started college at Glenville.

2015: I graduated college and earned my bachelor’s degree in psychology. I landed my first job at Home Base Inc. I only lasted there for 6 months and then I started working at the Potomac Center. Cody and I got engaged in July and we planned an October wedding in 2016. John Wayne and Melissa bought a house.

2016: I am still working for the Potomac Center as a Social Worker. I moved out of Aunt Carole’s house and got an apartment in Buckhannon. Cody and I eloped at the beach on May 18, but we had another ceremony in October. John Wayne married us at the October wedding and he called Cody, Anthony, during the ceremony. I laughed so hard. I was also an hour late for my own wedding because my zipper popped off. Cody and I are living together in the apartment and we adopted a pug named Dexter. I was also diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety. Aaron joined the Army and they had a beautiful baby girl named Annabell.

2017: Cody and I bought our first house in Clarksburg. He graduated from college and landed a job with Thrasher. I wrecked my jeep. I also started working for the state as a Correctional Counselor. We adopted a Rott mix named Rudy and in December we adopted another pug and named her Nutmeg Lucille. I got the name Lucille from you and your birthdays are on the same day! Also, mom went to jail for a week. I don't really talk to much of our family.

2018: You didn't get to met Nia, but she is Bubb’s significant other. She has a daughter named Addie and she calls me Aunt FeeFee. They had a baby together in February and named her Rowyn Kennedy. She looks just like Bubb. Mom and Oj also split up this year. Mom went to jail again for a domestic, but she didn't get charged. We adopted another dog, she is a pointer mix and we named her Cinnamon. I still work for the state and I applied for graduate school in November. Pap had 2 strokes and Dr. Leslie ordered that he needs to take it easy. Lula has him on a strict diet and he has lost a bunch of weight. I am not even sure if he cooks anymore. Ashton and Karson are out growing me!

2019: I was accepted into grad school at WVU and I will be pursuing a Master’s Degree in Counseling. I am going to attempt to go to school full time and work full time. Rowyn is one years old and she is so stinking cute! I am still battling my depression and anxiety on top of a migraine disorder. It is only May, so I will have to write you another letter at the end of the year.

I heard the song Address in the Stars today and I began to cry so hard. I just miss you so so much! I know you are no longer suffering, but I am. Is it selfish of me wish you were still here?!? You were the glue that held us together and now we are all separated. The holidays are hard without you. I miss you bossing me around and you teaching me how to bake desserts. I just wish God would've gave us more time with you. I use to think that you were going to out live us all, that you were immortal. I wish you couldve been here to see me get married, to see your great grand children grow up, and to be here for all of the milestones our family has hit. That is all that I am going to write in this letter. Until next time...

Love always,

Felicia Renee

#grandmother #granddaughter #family #rip #lettertothedead #grief #loss #missyou

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