#on topics of queerness

[itsbansheebitch]

This works for YouTubers as well lmao

[raavenb2619]

I’m not sure when exactly this happened, but I think it’s clear that the aro community really is a community, now.

For the longest time I’ve felt like we were still in stasis, not quite there; a proto-community, yes, but not quite a community. But we have more history now to lean back on, more of each other to talk to and laugh with and cry with and learn from. More people that’ll go forward and make a part of modern aro history. More people that believe us, believe in us, will stand with us if we ask them.

I wouldn’t consider myself an aro elder yet, though each year I’m surprised at how long aromanticism has been a part of my life, how long I’ve been free of doubt or insecurity about my aromanticism, how far we’ve come since I was questioning. Then again, when I was questioning, some of the people I looked up to for guidance were probably close to the age I am now, so I might be there sooner than I think.

And, I’m so so hopeful for all aros, young or old, new or not, because we’ve come so far. Day by day, progress is slow (and yes, it’s unfair, it should be so much faster), but looking back it feels fast. We are our own role models, the people we look up to for guidance. We carve our own path through life, making things up as we go. I used to find that terrifying, because I had no idea what the future would bring. But it’s actually amazing, because I can ignore all these silly “rules” and guidelines about what my life should be, and instead ask, “what do I want my life to be?”

Younger me, you have no idea how awesome your future is gonna be. I’m sorry about the pain and hardship you’ll go through first; it won’t be fair and you shouldn’t have to deal with it. But you’ll make it through, and one day you’ll be me. I can’t wait for you to get here.

[ashes2caches]

emo icon

[sidecast-deactivated]

the thing about queer exclusionism besides being blatantly hypocrytic is that it treats being opressed and discriminated as something meriting authority within the community. "youre not opressed so you cant be part of our community" who are you to decide what counts as opression? how can you judge an experience you havent lived? queerness has so many levels and intersections with other factors that you will never be able to completely santise it to your liking. there will always be people and labels that you dont understand and distinctions you think are futile in the grand scheme of things, but you have to learn to be civil towards them, you have to learn about intersectionality. you cant decide who is "opressed enough" opression doesnt have levels, its not something you can rate, its something you fight against and thats it. if you want to defeat opression, you cant use it as a unit of measurement.

[plutotimeslot]

[davidtennantgenderenvy]

My Two Cents On The “ Is David Tennant Queer” Drama

As some of you know, I spent a solid third of the past year working on a movie-length video essay about David Tennant. This video essay features an eight minute section titled “Gender, Vulnerability, and Why David Tennant Is A Queer Icon”, which does not speculate on David’s own sexuality, but discusses the queer coding and subversion of gender norms in plenty of his roles and his importance as an ally to the LGBT community. At the same time, I was also coming to terms with my own identity as nonbinary and bisexual, and it ended up playing a crucial role in me finally working up the courage to come out to my parents. Characters like Crowley and the Doctor, both in terms of how they present themselves and how and who they love, have been absolutely instrumental in me developing my queer identity, and my comments section was full of people who had had similar experiences, who’d realized they were trans, nonbinary, gay, etc thanks to David and his characters. And as a result, I won’t deny that if David himself were to be queer, it would mean a lot to me.

Do I think David is queer? It’s certainly possible. I see a lot of how I express my queerness in how david chooses to express himself, most prominently through his frequent queer coding of characters who don’t necessarily have to be played as such. This can especially be seen through his Shakespeare characters, such as Richard, Hamlet, and some would argue Benedick as well. When I was 15 I played Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet, who I chose to play as a closeted young gay man harboring an unrequited crush on Romeo. I think I saw this role subconsciously as an outlet for my own repressed queerness, both of gender and sexuality, as I had experienced an unrequited crush on my female best friend the previous year which I was still in denial about. I’ve described my gender identity as “a girl with a chaotic tortured gay man inside of her that needs to be let out every once in a while”, which has never been more true than with Mercutio- a character who I might add, I took a great deal of inspiration from David when playing! In terms of using roles as an outlet for one’s queerness, I could absolutelt see this being true with David, especially when it comes to Crowley, who seems to have had an impact on David’s style, behavior, etc in a rather similar way to how he’s impacted me. I don’t want to act like David wearing pink docs means he must be gay, I think people should be allowed to wear whatever they want regardless of sexuality, but taken in conjunction with so many other things about him, it does make one wonder, and the fact that a seemingly straight man has been so many people’s queer awakening is a bit puzzling to say the least. I won’t pretend that these “signs” (if you interpret them that way), haven’t been increasing somewhat in the past year, and if I got to share my own coming out journey with the man who inspired it, I would be absolutely thrilled. I also can’t specifically think of an instance where David has SAID he is straight, as opposed to Taylor swift, who has.

With all of that said, where I personally draw the line is when mere speculation crosses into interfering with the subject’s personal relationships and the sense that one is OWED something. I believe that what matters to David more than anything is being a husband and a father. I believe he adores Georgia and his children and would not do anything in the world that he believes would jeopardize his family. As happy as I would be for David if he were to come out (probably as bi) I realize that that would put so much unwanted attention on his marriage and family and I think that’s the last thing he wants. I don’t think it’s IMPOSSIBLE that he and Michael Sheen are having a passionate love affair behind everyone’s backs, but I absolutely don’t consider it my place to insist that they are, because as much as I may feel like I do, I don’t know these people! And besides, if David were cheating on Georgia, he really would not be the person I thought he was.

So many queer people see themselves in David and his characters, and that is beautiful. And I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with having theories that David might be queer himself. However, it must be acknowledged that these theories are THEORIES, and they should not be used to invalidate people’s real life relationships- after all, it’s totally possible to be bi/pan and also be in a loving and healthy heterosexual relationship like David and Georgia at least seem to be in! If David were in fact “one of us”, I would welcome him with the openest of open arms, but unless and until he himself decides to proclaim himself that way, I will not expect anything of him other than to be the incredible artist and person we know and love.

[intersexfairy]

trans people, especially transmascs in the US, if you are triggered by violence and transphobia... do yourself a favor now and blacklist the terms "audrey hale," "aiden hale," "nashville," and "shooting" on every platform you can. do not look at the posts or articles. don't. it's okay to not know. there are others who can know about this without harming/endangering their health.

to those who already know and aren't okay. i know you're scared; i am too, and the feeling will pass. you're not alone. you deserve a happy, safe, joyous life, and there will always be people fighting for you, even when you can't see them or hear them or know them. please be gentle with yourself, and know your wellbeing comes first. do something comforting, talk to a friend, eat something yummy. breathe. sleep. you got this.

[taikanyohou]

found this super interesting. this person below is an acting coach and scriptwriter that's worked on/working on: kinnporsche (2022), only friends (2023), playboyy (2023) and mansruang (2023):

[vulto-cor-de-rosa]

I'm not really into Hazbin hotel but I've seen enough of the fandom to know that I hate how people just ignore the fact that Alastor is aroace just so that they can ship him with whoever they like.

"Oh but aromantic people can still date" Yeah! Some can! If they're demi-romantic or grey-romantic or anywhere else in the spectrum, they can and want to date and good on them! But the problem here is that we don't know where Alastor falls under the aromantic unbrela, and you using this excuse, especially if you're not taking into consideration this specific fact about his character, ends up feeling like you're erasing the representation that us aromantic folks are desperate for and using other aromatics experiences for a cheap get-away card!

You wouldn't ship a cannon lesbian with a guy, you wouldn't ship a cannon gay with a girl, and you shouldn't ship a cannon aromantic with anyone! The only times that it's ok for you to do this is if the character is in a relationship in cannon (like Ineffable Husbands, where both Aziraphale and Crowley are aroace but they are in a romantic relationship with each other) or if the creator said that the character can feel some degree of romantic attraction.

We, aromantic and asexual folk, get almost no representation in popular media outside of creators saying stuff like "oh yeah btw they are aro and/or ace" and when we have characters that are actual good representation like Alastor, Lilith from TOH or even Saiki, people always find a way to completely ignore that part of the character. All that we are asking is for you to not ship ONE character! ONE!! Is that so hard for you?? You have a cast full of shippable characters but you just HAVE to go to the one that happens to be aromantic!

And when someone calls you out, you say that it's no big deal, well it is a big deal for us! Let us have one thing. One character. That's all we ask and somehow you can't even do that, shame on you.

[marihem]

All I know is I just want to spend the majority of my life with you

The actual very first doodle where I finally put my QPR Frans idea on canvas. Man I really love thinking about queer relationships

Please feel free to ask me anything about their relationship too

[padawan-historian]

Check in with your friends and kinfolk this week // Rest in power among the stars Nex ✨

[myturtlegotjacked]

Chilchuck and Leorio wpuld meet each other in a gay club and talk about labor statistics and workers rights over bubbly pop music

[merely-a-caricature]

What does it mean to be Sex/Romance Ambivalent?

The majority of people on the aspec are aware of favorable, indifferent, etc. when talking about personal stances toward romance/sex. But what about ambivalent? I don’t see people mentioning it nearly as much. I’ll give a brief explanation for those who don’t know what romance/sex ambivalent is.

Since I’m sex-ambivalent, I’ll use my personal experiences as an example. Sex-ambivalent is a personal stance on sex. Your feelings toward sex may fluctuate and be unclear. (Everything I say can be applied to romance-ambivalent as well with some obvious tweaking). Your personal stance could range from the feeling of being indifferent to averse, favorable to repulsed, indifferent to repulsed, whatever. Personally, I fall anywhere from feeling like indifferent to repulsed.

How we feel may vary depending on mood or what types of acts are being performed. For some they may be more comfortable when it’s with fictional characters. Or maybe they’re more comfortable with different people. I may be in a in a mood and be rather repulsed by the idea of anything sexual, but when I’m in a better mood it doesn’t bother me as much. There are many other reason why your feelings towards romance/sex may fluctuate, but this is just a general overview.

I may occasionally read erotic fanfiction and enjoy it, but I can’t even stand the thought of actual p*rn. Sometimes I don’t even want to read any kind do fanfiction like that. While I do enjoy certain types of more erotic fanfiction, I only enjoy it when certain types of acts are performed. Usually I just like a passionate make-out that gets a bit heated. Maybe some stuff that gets more suggestive too. But anything that involves actual more intimate parts on top or bottom gets an immediate “Nope” for me and I suddenly get more uncomfortable. I can’t stand the idea of intercourse or read about, but I can be totally okay with other “less intense” sexual acts.

I also want to point being being greyace is not equivalent to being sex ambivalent. I’m a black stripe ace meaning I experience no sexual attraction, but I am also sex-ambivalent. You can be greyace and sex ambivalent, be black stripe and ambivalent, and even be allo and sex-ambivalent! Ambivalent isn’t just a way to describe aros/aces, it can apply to anyone no matter your orientation.

Romance/sex-oscillating is also another slightly different term that describes how feelings towards the concept of romance/sex fluctuate/change over time. The factor for changing feelings when your oscillating is the passage of time v.s the factor for changing when your ambivalent is going to things like mood, whether or not it’s the written word, fiction or non-fiction, the types of acts being performed, etc. It depends on the person what external factors may change their feelings. Some people use both labels, some people, like me, don’t, and that’s okay. I apologize if I didn’t explain oscillating well enough. I do not identify with the label myself or feel that way, so please tell me if I could improve upon anything said.

All of this to say, some people feelings on romance/sex are very complicated and don’t fit super neatly into one single stance or they can fluctuate over time. You may feel differently about different situations than I do, and that’s okay. All us ambivalents aren’t the same after all!

[frogsare-friends]

friendly reminder that bi people don't owe you anything. bi women that have a 99% preference for men are bi, not straight. bi women that have a 99% preference for women are bi, not lesbian. bi women that choose to only date women (for safety, comfort, etc.) are bi and do not want to be lesbians. heteroromantic bisexuals and biromantic heterosexuals are whatever they tell you they are, you don't get to decide their identity. bi men with a 99% preference for women are bi, not straight. bi men with a 99% preference for men are bi, not gay. bi people that align more with pansexuality but say that they're bi are bi. asking someone that's talking about what you view as the opposite gender to "name someone of (what you view as) the same gender that you think is hot" is biphobic. asking someone if they're sure they're "not just heteroflexible" is biphobic. nonbinary bi people don't need to explain their sexuality or gender to you; "but how can they be straight and gay if they're nonbinary?!?!" 1. gender is so fucked, i personally believe nobody's gender is the exact same we all experience gender differently, 2. bisexual isn't half straight and half gay, it's all bi

brought to you by a genderqueer bisexual who's fucking tired. if you're monosexual (yes that goes for straight people, gay men, and lesbians, although most queer people have an easier time understanding it than straight people do and perpetuate biphobia in different ways) and you view bisexuality as half anything, you're wrong. we're not attracted to anyone in a straight or gay way, we're attracted to all people in a bi way. hope that helps