#once again posting bc i am filled w thoughts and feelings

[pl4n]

clouds

[id-rather-be-an-outsider]

Lapse in Memory

Megumi Fushiguro x Cursed!Reader

summary: y/n is cursed to forget for the rest of her life, but Megumi does his best to support her despite the futility of his efforts.

word count: 2,016

a/n: is this something I wrote bc I have my own issues w memory and find myself upset by how often I forget things? yes <3 I’m really proud of myself! hope I can keep this posting consistency up!

tw: she/her reader, injury resulting in memory loss, angst

masterlist

It all happened so quickly. Yuuji died, and the school sat in limbo, until a new student, y/n, arrived. Megumi, Nobara and y/n were sent on a mission together, and Megumi could tell right away that something was wrong — the same kind of wrong as before. They were in way over their heads. Why?

Megumi thought their target was Yuuji. If he was, then why would the elders still try to send students, especially when one of the students had no connection to the incident before, to their deaths? He decided their focus was to group up and escape — this curse was trying to isolate them, and Nobara was having a hard time.

Just as Megumi was going to shout for them to regroup, y/n hurtled toward Nobara, slicing the limb off of the curse that Nobara hadn’t noticed. Nobara and y/n shared a look of relief, but when Nobara’s face shifted as she started to call out to y/n, the newest addition to Jujutsu High was struck in the head by the curse, knocking her out cold.

Summoning all of his shikigami at once for protection, Megumi swooped in, grabbing y/n’s unconscious body before her head hit the ground, and peeling out of there with Nobara in tow.

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Now, he’s sitting at y/n’s bedside with Nobara, waiting for her to wake up. Her eyes barely crack open and Nobara sobs out, “Y/n! Don’t ever do that to me again, I can’t lose you yet! You just got here!” Pulling her frail body into a tight hug.

“Kugisaki! Calm down, she’s still injured.” Megumi chastises, and Nobara sheepishly lets go of their friend, muttering an apology and something about only being worried. “Y/n.” Megumi says, “How are you feeling? Do you remember what happened?”

Y/n’s bright eyes are now fully open, but her brows are furrowed in confusion. “Who are you guys?” She looks around the room. “Where am I? Why am I dressed up like a patient in a hospital? This doesn’t look like a hospital…”

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It was a curse. That’s what they told Megumi and Nobara. Their new friend suffered psychological damage from a curse born out of humanity’s fear of memory loss, and forgot everything about her new life at Jujutsu High. Her memories from before seemed fine when she was evaluated.

Megumi and Nobara sat together, brainstorming ideas. “Is there a way to cure it? Like if we killed the curse, or something?” Nobara asked.

Megumi bit his lip. “I don’t think so. It doesn’t work that way with people who lose limbs to curses, so it probably is the same here.”

“Hmph.” Nobara sighed, crossing her arms in annoyance. Then, her eyes sparkled. “Why don’t we fill her in? It’s not like she’s forgotten a lot, we just need to give her a refresher course!”

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And that’s why the two of them are now in front of her bed side, a PowerPoint projected onto the walls of y/n’s dorm. “In summary, if you ever forget something, ask one of us for a refresher, or come back to this PowerPoint! We can store it on a flash drive for you!”

Y/n applauds. “That was a great presentation! I can see why I was friends with you guys before. You’re really nice.” She says, beaming at the two of them.

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Then Yuuji was revealed to be alive, and him and y/n got along swimmingly. But Megumi noticed some things. Every now and then, y/n would forget words for basic things, and would have to describe what it was she was forgetting the word for. Every now and then, she’s forget that Yuuji had died, or would forget that she’d gotten injured. Her forgetfulness seemed to be quite the plague.

Once, Yuuji farted, and when y/n heard how loud it was, she made a gagging noice. “That’s disgusting, Yuuji.” She lifted her shirt up to cover her nose, waving her hand in the air to ward off the fart smell. Five seconds later, she dropped her shirt collar, watching TV. Then, she sniffed the air. “Hey, did you fart?” Yuuji and Megumi shared a look of concern in the moment, but when y/n quickly remembered her previous comment, her and Yuuji both burst out in laughter. Maybe it was funny to them. Megumi wasn’t so sure.

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A year later, it happened again. They were second-years, and when y/n came down for breakfast one morning, she nervously walked up to Megumi. “Hi, um, I’m sorry to bother you. My name’s y/n. Can you please tell me where I am or direct me to whoever is in charge here? I don’t know what happened to me, but I’d like to go home.”

Again, they said it was the curse. Upon further inspection and based on testimony from Megumi, they were able to confirm the curse on y/n was a recurrent one. How often? They couldn’t tell. Not yet.

Nobara never thought they’d use the PowerPoint again, but they did, after refreshing it to keep up with all the memories of the entire year together.

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Y/n falls fast for Megumi after that happens. Nobara teases Megumi about it a lot, but he can tell she’s just happy for him. Happy for y/n, too.

The couple makes lots of new memories, and as they creep up on a year together, y/n comes to Megumi’s dorm one night, sniffling, tears streaking her face. Megumi gets up, hugging her and closing the door behind her before pulling her into his bed so they can cuddle.

Quietly, y/n confesses. “I don’t want to forget you, Megumi. I don’t want to forget that I love you.”

“It’s okay. I’ll remind you.”

“What if I don’t love you this time around?”

“Then I’ll love you until you love me, but I don’t think that’ll happen anyway. We confessed to each other last time, a few months before you forgot.”

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It was confirmed yesterday. Y/n was cursed to forget everything in her life, and revert to the person she was before coming to Jujutsu High. When Megumi told Nobara the news, she cried, and said she couldn’t come see y/n anymore, because it hurt too much. Megumi couldn’t blame her, but he thought it wasn’t fair to y/n. It’s not like she asked to forget.

When he sits next to her on the couch, she pauses her reading to say, “You know, to put a positive spin on all of this, the good thing about forgetting stuff, is every time I forget, I get to experience them for the first time all over again. I know it makes some people sad, but it makes me happy.”

“Like what?” Megumi asks her.

She smiles at him. “Like falling in love with you. I’m sure I’ve done that a million times over.”

Megumi blushes, but he returns the smile. “Yea, I guess you have. Putting it that way does make it seem better.”

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Four times in a row now, y/n’s forgotten at the end of every six months, and her day-to-day forgetfulness has gotten worse every time. “Megumi, I’m— I’m forgetting something really important right now, and I— and I just—“ Y/n’s eyes are red as tears spill down her cheeks. “I hate being such a burden like this. Nobody else has to have people remember things for them! It’s embarrassing.”

“It’s not a burden.” Megumi says gently, taking her hand and flipping the remote around so it points the correct way.

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Two years after graduating from Jujutsu High, Megumi got an apartment for himself and y/n. Yuuji had asked him, “Are you really holding out hope? I don’t think she’s ever gonna get any better.”

Megumi lashed out at him, saying, “Does it look like I fucking care if she gets any better? She could lose her goddamn mind for all I care, that’s it gonna stop me from loving her.”

“Dude, I wasn’t saying that, I was just—“ Yuuji had sighed in frustration, standing up from their table at the cafe. “You know what, I’m gonna go. I get that you care about her, but you should care about yourself, too. You are psychologically self-harming by choosing to place yourself in a situation that only breaks your heart, over and over again. If you need me, you know where to find me. Say hi to y/n for me.”

Megumi didn’t reach out to Yuuji, and didn’t say hi to y/n for him. He thought that he didn’t deserve the favor. He also thought that maybe he overreacted to Yuuji’s concern, but he wasn’t ready to admit that to anyone other than himself.

At dinner that night, y/n asked, “Hey, baby? Can you do me a favor?”

“Yea, what?” Megumi looked at her lovingly, patiently.

Slowly, y/n focused on each word of what she wanted to ask. “The next time I forget everything… maybe just don’t do the PowerPoint. I don’t really need to know much beyond who’s my friend and who’s not.”

“Okay… but why, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I just… knowing that there’s so much I forgot made me feel… ashamed of myself. If this is… how I’ve felt every single time, I don’t know that I want to be reminded that I’ve missed out on so much.”

It was like a knife to his chest, but he contained himself until after dinner, when y/n said her head hurt and went to sleep early. That was the sign that she would wake up the next day not knowing anything.

When Megumi was sure she was asleep, he kissed her forehead, stepped out onto the deck, and double-checked that the sliding glass door was fully closed before breaking down, crying his heart out, snot dripping from his nose. Yuuji was right, but Megumi still didn’t want to call him.

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“Who are you?” Y/n asks while they’re on a picnic together.

Megumi frowns. She didn’t complain about a headache last night, so she shouldn’t have forgotten yet. “I’m your boyfriend, Megumi, and you’re cursed to lose your memory over and over again.”

“Have we… always been dating?”

“Pretty much, yea.”

“Why are you dating someone who forgets you all the time?”

“Because I love you.” He says, handing her a cracker with a yummy mixture of smoked salmon and cream cheese on top.

She jokes, “I must love you too, to be lucky enough to go on a date like this together.” She wears that familiar smile that always shines brighter than the sun, before taking a bite and closing her eyes. “Mmm, I love this. That’s something I haven’t forgotten.”

Megumi says, “I would hope so, considering we’ve lived together for three years already.” He stuffs his face with a similar cracker, his grin not quite mirroring hers with the smoked salmon stuck to his teeth.

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Six years later, Megumi had finally patched things up with Yuuji, and Nobara had come to visit again because Megumi had been desperate to try anything that would help y/n. When Nobara realized how bad it was, she ended up visiting anyways, even thought it was pointless. Every three months had turned into two, into one, into every three weeks, two weeks, one week, every six days, five, four, three, two, one…

Megumi realized he preferred it when she was asleep, because at least she wasn’t forgetting him every fifteen minutes then. Eventually, it became every five minutes, and eventually, it became every few moments.

“Who are you?” Y/n asked him.

“I’m your boyfriend, Megumi, but you can’t remember that because you’re cursed.”

“Oh, okay.” A few seconds of silence passed as the TV droned on in the background. Megumi played the reruns of her favorite show, hoping it would trigger something.

Megumi was grateful y/n couldn’t see the other side of his face. A tear dripped down onto his cheek as she asked again, “Who are you?”

taglist: if you’d like to be ok my JJK general taglist or my Megumi taglist comment below!

[seumyo]

OMGGG CONGRATS ON 1K EUMY MY LOVE!!! im beyond words that describe happy for u ur such a sweetheart u deserve it sm<3 I SAW THE SCRAPBOOKS POST AND ID LOVE A SHOTO TODOROKI ONE!!!! 💗

im an enfp so im a loud extrovert, and i try to make sure ppl dont feel awkward or embarrassed around me bc im 10x worse HAHA 😭 i have insane attachment issues like i was crying so hard when my friend ignored me for a day. big lover with big emotions, hopefully that counts as an emotional intelligent person hehe<3

i am also a complete art kid and i never stop drawing, im also in choir and stage band so im basically all of the above (except sports. does watching haikyuu count?🤔) HAHAHAHA

id love a little description about our dynamic or something!!🥹 and be free w ur colour palette and do what u think deems best 🗣️!!! a song would be velvet ring by big thief, one of my favs rn<3

THANK USM EUMY UR THE SWEETEST AND ONCE AGAIN CONGRATUALTIONS ON THAT DESERVED 1K!!!

ᯓ★ SHOTO + SAKU!

★ Todoroki Shouto hated did not like you at first. The first time you two met in U.A., not once did he glance in your direction. Don’t take it too personally, he’s battling inner turmoil stemming from his complicated family life and upbringing.

★ Skipping to when he does warm up to the rest of the class, he still keeps his distance from them as he tries to test the waters. Now, you, dear Saku, are the first to invite him to have lunch together via the crumpled paper you left on his desk during free period (he almost threw it in the trash, but he telephatically felt your distress thought it might contain something important, so he decided to read it). He accepts, of course.

★ Lunch together was awkward, but Todoroki appreciates your effort to fill in his shortcomings in the conversation. So to say, he just listens to you while you ramble about anything and everything.

★ When he gets home that night, he definitely tells Fuyumi that someone invited him to eat together at lunch, and that it was nice. He doesn’t realize that he kept your note neatly folded in his wallet.

★ Do you know the concept of personal space? Todoroki does not. Whenever you’re doing something, whether it’s doodling or writing notes, he will peer over and check whatever it is that you’re doing. Completely unaware that he, too, has attachment issues (trust).

★ “Am I too close? I’m sorry, I didn’t notice.” And you guys were inches from kissing each other!

★ Romantically, it takes him a long time to understand that what he was feeling is clearly not platonic anymore. But when he does realize thus, he skips the steps in his head and wants to spend the rest of his days with you (you’re not even dating yet, and he’s already thinking of the future ten years later). Todoroki’s hesitant to engage in a romantic relationship because he thinks that you deserve someone who wouldn’t hesitate to court you and love you openly (he’s worried that he’ll end up like his father).

★ The initial dynamic is someone who talks a lot and the other listens (with the most lovestruck eyes yet still unnoticeable). When you do get into a relationship, he’ll still treat you just like when you were friends, but with a bit more effort to show you how much he cares. Acts of service & Quality Time are his love languages. This man is your ride-or-die forever and would go through lengths just to spend time with you (cue to Todoroki just appearing by your side whenever you’re not busy).

★ Whenever Todoroki talks to other people, it’ll always be, “Oh, where are Saku and the others?” You will always be the first person that comes out of his mouth, an unconscious habit of his.

★ Matching bag charms, candid photos (of him, mostly), handwritten notes that are passed to each other during class, enjoying each other’s company even if you two are just walking to the cafeteria together or him waiting for you to tie your shoelaces (he does them himself further into the relationship), finding out that Todoroki kept most of the things you gave him (especially your little notes and doodles), and the tips of his ears turn a bit reddish whenever he’s flustered—and you’re the only one to notice because it only happens when he’s with you.

[shjiyemis]

saw ur post about givin the black-coded highbloods (am i using that right) more depth to their intention and im sitting here w/ popcorn. please expand and if it is also about how imperialism and the empire sucks i am coming onto the stage and giving you one bajillion gazillion dollars

I legitimately have A LOT in mind on this specific topic, I think there are def specific characters, I'm like ALWAYS thinking about the purple bloods specifically with how heavy their coding is that even goes straight down to how they live.

The fuschias are (specifically Meenah/The Condense) are like literal caricatures of black woman. I feel how they are, specifically in behavior, isn't bad. But their behavior mixed with the fact their supposed to be the HIGHEST on the hemospectrum and ALSO described as FISH HITLER ???? It's like WEIRD???

Also if you look at the whole caste of Homestuck. The characters that are HEAVILY coded as black ( The Makara/and honestly purplebloods in general, Meenah/The Condense) are the most demonized and written as aggressors. YES, there are many aggressors in Homestuck that are mains but these characters actions are usually the ones that get highlighted most. (Honestly, ESPECIALLY the purples)

Like idk how to tell y'all how FUCKING WEIRD that is if y'all don't get it at this point.

My idea of writing into these characters with more depth is to not put all of them in a good light but to just give them DEPTH, more depth then just "the aggressive black" that has always been a huge stereotype in general on black ppl as a whole.

I've had the makaras on my mind since I was a baby so I ALREADY have shit in my head for them, the fuschias are another story bc even tho I can think and understand their characters I haven't thought about all the plot holes I need to fill, I also don't remember too much in their story bc I never really paid too much attention to them except Feferi (still not as much as I do with the characters I'm super invested in)

I actually have a whole post for the GHB bc I'm honestly super tired of the common "EVIL MURDERER THAT CRAVES VIOLENCE AND IS PROBABLY A R*PIST" interpretation for The Grand Highblood, not too mention it feels weird now due to the explanation i gave already. Let's also not forget the fact that the Grand Highbloods abbreviation "GHB" is also a shortened term for a commonly used date rape drug 🤨

Here's a link to that lil GHB Ted talk

Like the thing is I GET why ppl see the GHB as such once again it's still fucking weird like c'mon guys.

There's just so much but I cannot say everything rn bc I'll actually kill you with my words and my brain will actually die if I go on too long FHCFHCHFCGJCHFC but this is what I'm saying rn lolol

(also quickly includes this bc I feel like SOMEONE will pick at me for this, I didn't include Feferi in my lil parentheses due to the fact if it wasn't for the inclusion of Meenah and some more detailing of how the condencse is, no one would read her as black specifically bc of many reasons including that audience being racist whether it's intentional or not, she's still black and coded as such due to her ancestry and them being black caricatures)

[mannequinreligi0n]

hi my loves !! i am BACK (yippeeeee) and will being trying to post a new fic at least once a week for the foreseeable future. but first - some housekeeping and general thoughts:

apologies for the inactivity; i’ve been both busy and uninspired, as of late. i went on vacation last month and then planned to write when i returned, but got hit with a fat depression shaped brick over my head and couldn’t find the will or want to write.

im in a terrible chris redfield shaped hole rn (don’t ask), so im going to start taking requests for him and other resident evil characters, if you feel so inclined to leave a request <3 pls read my pinned post if you’re unsure what i will/won’t write.

i’ve been getting mainly requests for reboot dante, which is okay (and tysm for the asks!!), but he is not someone i really wish to write for, since im not particularly a fan of the reboot. the oneshot i did for him was a request from an ex-friend and though i’m glad people like jt, he’s not someone i feel comfortable writing often. idk it feels disingenuous of me to write something for a character i have no attachment to or real knowledge of (esp when OG dante means so much to me). that being said, i will sift through the asks and write something for him in the future bc i don’t want to leave anyone hanging !! pls be patient w me :’)

i am working on a long-awaited second part to ‘forgiveness’ ! it’ll probably be the first thing i post next as to appease the masses.

finally, THANK YOUUUUUUUUU <3 seeing this blog grow so much and get immense love during my absence has filled me w joy and im happy to start writing for y’all again :D

yours always,

obscura

[angelwonie]

2022 is already over but i still want to make this post because i love you guys and you made this year more bearable, so...

dear followers...

you guys are what keeps me going. thank you so much for supporting me, liking my writing, and filling out every stupid form i post on impulse. thank you for always being patient and discussing your thoughts with me. thank you for choosing to stick with me of all people. i am so grateful for all of you and my time on tumblr!! tumblr is like an escape from reality for me and you guys make it so much fun <3

dear mutuals...

@cosmic-railwayxo - you fucking loser i think youre the best thing that happened to me all year (except guesung's abs). thank you so much for being my friend, for talking to me literally everyday, for giving me something to look forward to when im at uni and want to die. i love facetiming u, i love sending u reels, i love how we r literally bffs even if there are thousands of km between us. that much doesnt matter when we gossip or talk abt kpop men fs BAHAHAHA. anyways i could probably write an essay abt u and how much i love your colossal cock, but this is getting long so all im gna say is i love you.

@hwangyeonjun - rels my bae ur 97' liner smau is what gives me oxygen to breathe (on that note,, I NEED AN UPDATE). thank u for being my mutual and slaying with me even tho im a little insane. i love you!!

@hwajin - kATHY GIRL u were the one that had to listen to me scream about arisu and u literally wrote me a fic for him???? we r besties for life atp. we should write each other fics sometime again bcs that was sm fun. ure so hot and nice and ur hyunjin series slays. thank you for being my friend and always giving me the same energy back!! kisses for u

@hoshologies - moon omg we've known each other so long but it feels so short??? i hope ure slaying all ur days away bcs ure fucking amazing and u deserve it. once every month when it's a full moon i lay down on the grass and think abt how much i miss ur writing and u actually. hope we keep in touch in 2023, i love you bestieee

@jjkeverlast - lati thank u sm for being my friend!! i love talking to u about everything and nothing (read: the dilf from aib) and ure so kind honestly (when ure not stealing kento yamazaki from me BOOOO). i hope we interact a lot in 2023 and i wish you all good things this year!! you deserve it.

@jayzdaze - kay u queen. ur fics never dissappoint and ure so??? mature and cool i think of u as my older sister fr. im so happy to be ur moot and friend and i hope we remain close in 2023 as well. love you bae!

@jenoslutie - nabi i swear i followed u bcs ur name is the same as that girl from nevertheless HAJASJKAJKA but i fell in love with you and your sexy brain too. ur fics always deliver and i miss our convos sm :/ we should start talking more again!! either way im so happy to have you as a mutual and ily.

@kookiecrumb - ISA MY FIRST MUTUAL OMG!!! there's so much i want to say to you but i dont even know if i can put it into words. youre so amazing, talented and intelligent. i think you might be the most intellectual person i have ever met. i am never bored when we talk to each other, and i always leave our conversations in a happy mood. i love your passion for bts and i love your big sexy brain. i hope we stay friends forever.

@mingirn - mars idk abt u but im ur number one fan forever. like idc if we dont talk for a month, the moment i see mingirn on dash or in my ask i SQUEAL. i love you so so much and ure so funny and delusional (omg ure just like me) and im so happy we r moots. i would literally fight w armys for u. thats true love i'm telling u.

@neochan - sam ure like that mutual everyone is afraid of bcs theyre just so. cool. i love you so much and i love talking abt nct with u bcs ure the only one that gets my obsession with their cocks. thank you for being my mutual (and friend, i hope) and for blessing me with your fics!!

@planetdream - dreamie i swear to god you were the second blog i followed on here (i unfollowed the first so ure technically the first tho hihi) and i literally have flashbacks whenever i reread ur fics kskasksska. we've never talked like super much, but whenever we do i feel happy, and im glad that feeling hasnt faded throughout all those months. u will always hold a special place in my heart and im so glad to be ur friend!!

@shmooooo - isa u were literally my savior when i was in my cha eunwoo phase. like there is no one on tumblr that simps for that guy and im like??? hello wake up. thank you so much for talking to me about him and my fics, i appreciate you bae!!

@wuahae - cat i love you so so much!! ur writing is so alluring and beautiful, and your personality is too. i always have sm fun talking to u and whenever i see you on dash, i smile. we need to talk more bcs i NEED to hear your thoughts on every picture mingyu and hoshi post on instagram.

[rexaleph]

Fruit pt 1 lmao

Back when I was first getting into perfume my assumptions around what was gonna work for me were in the vein of traditional men's fragrances from like when I was a kid and vague ideas around freshness and perhaps coniferous woods. However I'd come across a discussion of Byredo's Pulp and the way people spoke of it as this super strange, polarising, borderline unwearable art piece got me interested, so I tossed a sample of that into my cart, intrigued but expecting not to get it. Ofc I fell in love instantly. It was in fact the only fragrance I ended up liking out of everything I picked going by vibes and word associations, probably bc all of the others smelled of air freshener for the car. So i was like ok, it's fruit for me now, I am a fruit perfume person, and have looked p widely into that fragrance family since. Fig was always a note i was interested in bc it is allegedly central to Pulp, and its plant-like, soft-green juiciness is attractive to me in concept. However! As i started looking towards shifting my lifestyle away from a million samples and decants into a small number of truly beloved bottles, I came to the realization that the only even fruit adjacent thing I was immediately interested in having in a large volume is the fucking grapefruit cologne from Zara. And they don't even usually count citruses as a fruit! So fruit ended up not being my thing in practice, but the thought of it still haunts me. I feel like there should be a fruit for me out there. So i want to spend some time thinking abt the fruity scents that I've tried and maybe figure out where to go from here. I am about to get deeply weird once again.

So to start at the beginning - Pulp by Byredo.

Byredo is a brand with a deeply unappealing aesthetic. When I picture their bottles it is on a glass and gold tray in an influencer's white interior and that is not something I want to associate myself with. But given that the first perfume I fell in love with was one of theirs, I still pay attention to their line.

So Pulp is a very intense, tart, barely sweet fruit. The haters have often said that the fruit smell is fermented and rotten, but I perceive it to be on the other end of the sour fruit spectrum - green and underripe. It suggests maybe an inedibly hard pear. Another major feature - I keep saying "fruit" without specifying, because I struggle to discern anything particular. People will say apple, blackcurrant, citrus, fig. I do perceive the intense opening blackcurrant and maybe apple. Besides the that I get cedarwood, and i guess that woody-green-sweet effect could be a fig note. Pulp does not feel like it evolves much as it wears, but what it does is first fill the space around itself and then settle within minutes, which I think is a quality created by like carrier molecules. (I know of iso e super, which allegedly improves longevity but that would be the opposite effect i think, though i feel like it's in here as well. What i experience w Pulp feels like theres sth that increases volatility, momentarily dragging scent molecules into the air w it. Or theres just a lot of the cassis top note ingredient and much of it evaporates off quickly.)

This room-filling effect is what brings me to the haters' 2nd point that sticks in my mind: Pulp is less like a perfume for a person to wear and more of a large scale air freshener, not even for your home, but for hotel lobbies and shopping malls. And I think this is how I ended up feeling about Pulp - beautiful scent, but I don't want to wear it. There are other perfumes in this post I consider unperfumelike and don't want to wear for their industrial chemical quality, but those actually smell bad to me. I'm not generally concerned w wearability (outside of like not wearing strong or irritating things where people will be forced close to me), I don't think of perfume in terms of daytime vs evening or seasonality, but there is something about Pulp, however much I like it in theory, that makes it unwearable to me. Like whatever I'm looking to wear, be it sweet, fresh, complex, natural-produce-like, loud - Pulp is never the answer. I think what drew me in at first was it's brightnness and intensity, and how different it was from any perfume i had experienced before. I'm wearing it now and it is still impressive, mostly a powerful, mouthwatering blackcurrant; leaves, berries and wood sap. There's another strong natutalistic plant perfume I love - Vetiver Extraordinaire by Frederic Malle. I tried to articulate the vibe i get from it as "you can't fuck me, I'm a tree". Which, I love that for a cold deciduous tree trunk you can't get your arms around. To me right now Pulp also has a strong you can't fuck me aura, though I used to think of it as insanely attractive (the mouth-watering aspect, confusing different kinds of intense sensuality). But i guess being high-pitched, juicy and ultimately friendly and food-like, this is not the unfathomable remote unfuckability of nature; "you can't fuck me i'm covered in berries" is not sth i want to embody. I used to really love the idea of scent-as-art in a vacuum, but now I probably am more concerned with what a perfume can do to create me as i present myself to the world. That mostly excludes unpolishedly naturalistic plants at this point. (Btw a 20 y o coworker who is just starting to get into perfume told me that someone introduced him to Pulp and he loved it so much! It is a good entry point to unisex niche perfume - beautiful, approachable but characterful, different from most designer scents, especially as marketed to men. I'd probably still it like very much on someone else.)

Having spent 4 notes app pages on Pulp I'll be brief on the fruit shampoo types: Kirke by Tiziana Terenzi, Antigua by Phaedon, Eau de Rhubarbe by Hermes, Sirio by Mendittorosa, I wanna say Cedrat Boise by Mancera. The widely recommended fruity one by Mancera anyway. So turns out banana flavored candy isn't weird bc it's based on an extinct breed, it just uses a single flavor compound out of the bouquet found in real bananas, so the flavor comes off distorted. This is I think what people mean when they use "synthetic" as a criticism in perfume. I assume that for shampoo they mix individually made molecules, which is what causes unnatural-seeming compositions, even if the ingredients themselves aren't in any way worse by being synthetic. All the above fragrances have that screechy, fruit-scented toiletries/household chemicals vibe to me, plus Kirke and Antigua at least have some kinda sickly musk note that I don't get along with. I've also encountered it in a number of of woody-fresh cologne type scents. So these fragrances are all widely beloved (except maybe the Mendittorosa on account of being less well known), I think because of what I outlined with Pulp - they're bright and friendly but still fairly unusual. Common notes i believe are lychee or rhubarb - tart, juicy and sweet, which I guess is what most people look for in this type of fragrance. I'm just particularly sensitive to their type of dissonance. Eau de Rhubarbe i think is the most successful one of these - only inelegant, but for the most part I find them fully unpleasant.

Speaking of unpleasant, let me briefly return to Byredo. Mixed Emotions vs Amouage Jubilation XXV

So after my first unsuccessful run at Amouage with the florals I held off on trying their big iconic scent for years. The way people spoke of Jubilation it's this amazing layered masterpiece of resins, woods and fruit, meant for like distinguished gentlemen. Obviously I never felt like I could pull it off, but earlier this year I decided to have another go at Amouage as well as figure out fruit, so I finally tried it out. And yeah it's alright. I think what I'm realizing is that these niche fragrances massively popular among men are always gonna be on the safe side, but spoken of as hugely transgressive bc they smell a little bit outside of menthol shaving foam. Jubilation is soft, deep, smooth and resinous, with like an overtone of sweet-spicy toothpaste freshness I'd put down to blackberry, orange zest and tarragon. Very attractive, would not feel incongruous on any age or gender, for sure not a mature man kinda scent. I went on two week-long trips within a month in August/September and wore it throughout for like professional and leasure occasions and it never felt out of place, I never wanted for anything else. Dudes online are big mad abt alleged weak reformulations, idk abt that, however I will say it is kinda subtle and I wouldnt pay Amouage money for it.

So given that 15 years ago Amouage came out with this hugely popular cult hit, why would Byredo in 2021 make basically the same thing but worse? Black currant for blackberry and birch smoke and mate for all the woods and resins, Mixed Emotions to me is just a loud, unbalanced version of Jubilation, though idk that i've seen anyone else make the comparison. It's very northern forest, tree sap and berries, which is kind of an obvious combination and doesn't make it feel less heavy-handed. Junk by Lush feels adjacent, which is not a compliment. A recurring review phrase is cough syrup. The fruit is scratchy and cloying, overconcentrated. I kept trying to get myself to like Mixed Emotions, but given that it feels like basically a worse version of something that's just pretty nice but not worth the money, it's probably time to give up on her.

So do I hate a scratchy, cloying preserve-like fruit? Not necessarily.

Mendittorosa Rituale

I am a mark for Mendittorosa. I feel like i can still tell when they really don't work for me, but I probably exaggerate how special the ones i do like are. Anyway.

The vibe is nectar: flowers, blackcurrant, pomegranate, raspberry, honey, beeswax. Its heavy and sweet while having a rough scratchy quality (down to beeswax, patchouli and hyrax I'd guess) that can give gourmands a real kitchen-y feel. Mugler AMen has that imo, as well as El Born by Carner Barcelona, both of which suggest rustic dessert to me. Rituale is not really like them them with its big heady floral and fruit elements but that effect is the same. It's like when you have a very sweet pastry with black coffe. Rituale puts me in mind of traditional desserts that use preserves, honey and rose water in a way that doesnt get along with my modern milk chocolate sour gummy palette, so it is a little bit challenging. Going off the notes alone, I was very excited but also apprehensive about this one, I expected it to be either breathtakingly beautiful or just fully disgusting. Especially lavender can really fuck things up for me when it goes nauseating soapy-sweet potpourri. And some of that is there: i notice the lavender and the whole composition teeters on the edge of sickly, but never quite goes there. The actual flowers throughout its middle stage (rose, jasmine, narcissus, what do daffodils even smell like?) give me this high-summer orchard honey bee fantasy. Raspberry is i think the most prominent opening impression, maybe pomegranate, quickly overtaken by floral honey. That's probably the way to discuss the florals in here - not flowers but the way e.g. linden honey can smell of flowers & pollen. Beeswax is also discernible from the very beginning. As it sits and the fruit recedes it goes from nectar fantasy to complex rosewater dessert while always maintaining that little bit of low-pitched roughness you usually get with honey fragrances, just enough to keep things interesting. It's all a whole lot. The very end is a rounder mellower sweetness, feels like vanilla to my nose, but might be some combination of the woods, resins and beeswax. I wish I perceived more of the hyrax, some people complain about it being crazy animalic and i just don’t get that at all unfortunately. I love dirty animal shit :( On the other hand it already has borderline too much going on.

If Mendittorosa made small beautiful bottles Rituale would be a no-brainer to get. It is a very special combination of rich and opulent while also consisting of what to me reads as basically all food-like botanical notes. Real nectar and ambrosia vibes. Very different from those fresh effervescent unisex fruits, a very cool take on the genre imo. And like, yeah, if I'm so bored of fruits, maybe my one fruit perfume to have should be the one that's unlike any of the others. But even with this one, I'm not sure that I want to smell like this! There is again an air of botanical unfuckability about this one that makes it a little emotionally confusing. Not sure what mood I'd want it for, especially if we're talking about getting a bit expensive bottle. I think I wore it for my 29th or 30th birthday, she's festive and attention-grabbing but doesn't necessarily make me feel attractive. One idea I'm holding out for is that if I tried it from an atomizer instead of the shitty dabbing wand sample and got a more accurate idea of how it wears from the bottle, there would be more hyrax and that'd swing it into something more obviously my style. As is it may or may not be my one fruit but for sure points to some directions to continue thinking in.

Putting here so I don't forget my other fruits to discuss: Un Jardin sur le Nil, Pomegranate Noir, Wilde, Bitter Peach, Peau de Peche. And then the figs.

[another-dra-anew]

tsu!!

My identity hc for them

see tomori, strike that, reverse it! he knows he likes guys, and he's kinda just seeing what happens past that! hes vibing w/himself and hes just kinda chilling, hes content without a label for his attraction

aaaand hes a trans lad! similar to tomori sometimes he feels more binary trans sometimes not he's really just chillin ! to make this section longer uhhhm. i think his relationship with his past is like. "i have always been a boy, my body is a guys body, and when i was younger i was a boy, same as today. but also i was a girl once i was a small little girl and she is not alive anymore but also she is still here standing right in front of u when u look at me, same as she ever was and as she always will be. but also i am me myself and i am a boy. okie?" and refuses to explain or elaborate (he probably said this to kouhei. kouhei doesnt ask hes just like "okie". tbh kouhei prolly didnt ask in the first place tsu just started talking)

Thoughts on their home life/family

! yk as special reward for everyone who takes the time to read through this i will give u a spoile-y. as a treat. tsurugi was born when a piece of snow came in through a chimney and landed in the fire. and many many miles away, from the stump of the tree that was cut down to be logs for that fire, tsurugi tumbled out of a naturally occurring divot in the wood. this is very true and i just hope u all know the power that comes with this information!!! <333

(ofc, thats all jokes! tsu is a bunch of ice crystals from a sun halo, all swirled together and gently sent down to the earth)

How i feel about their canonical writing/handling

how... do i not spoil things. u have to have patience with his writing. i promise he is more than like.. manic pixie leftist cop boy. u just have to have patience. boy wears his heart on his sleeve. but also he has a bunch of plastic wrap around it. u can see his heart it is the textbook definition of on his sleeve. but it is obscured and u cannot reach it. every day before i sleep i get on my knees and pray that people have faith in his writing and don't think the way he's written is cringefail.

The one thing i’d want to make canon about them

i cant remember if this factoid has come up but i dont think it has in any posts. tsu's hair is like.... really choppy, if u brushed it out/took a straightener to it to get it all flat, you'd see its alll different lengths. bc he tends to get twigs and sticks and the like stuck in there and just. cuts hair off/"oh this bit is too long! *snip*" a lot. that being said it looks oddly intentional/u cant tell its a million different lengths with how he styles it. he will cry if anyone tries to drag him to a hair stylist.

My number one favorite ship for them

tsuhara. ch1 spoilers this is just text encoded in hex google hex to text decoder and u should be good. 74 68 69 73 20 69 73 20 77 68 79 20 69 20 77 61 6E 74 20 74 6F 20 72 65 77 72 69 74 65 20 74 68 65 20 63 68 31 20 69 6E 76 65 73 74 69 67 61 74 69 6F 6E 20 73 6F 20 62 61 64 6C 79 2E 20 69 20 77 61 6E 74 20 74 6F 20 68 61 6E 64 6C 65 20 74 68 65 69 72 20 69 6E 74 65 72 61 63 74 69 6F 6E 73 20 28 61 6C 6F 6E 67 20 77 69 74 68 20 74 73 75 73 20 69 6E 6E 65 72 20 6D 6F 6E 6F 6C 6F 67 75 65 29 20 61 20 6C 6F 74 20 64 69 66 66 65 72 65 6E 74 6C 79 21

…Now everyone else i ship with them

i mean he is besties with everyone? many platonic ships. he is friend shaped !

The thing i will NEVER ship

like many of the ask meme fills so far: his wrist is limp, your honor...

a dynamic/relationship i wish was explored more (in canon, or in fandom)

tsurugi is incapable of leaving anyone alone. he. nothing needs to be explored more. tsu & alone time perhaps.

thoughts on their design (appearance-wise)

im not even gonna lie trying to work out fits for him always makes me want to explode. i may rework his fit again soon ive already made minor changes which i havent mentioned. that in mind his bandages and bracelets and bruises are alllways gonna be the same! theyre eternal!

A music-related thought- a song that reminds me of them, or what their music taste is, etc

rule #4 - fish in a birdcage was playing when i started this post. the reason its on any of my playlists is bc i heard it and went fuck. uhhhh. yeah rule #4 fish in a birdcage would be very tsu and kouhei except jk!!! there is nothing slightly odd or abnodmal or not right with either of the people i mentioned theyre totally fine. mhm mhm!

anyways funnily enough he actually doesnt have a playlist. uhhh. actually he's got a lot of playlists with other characters but not his own... i started this w/a tsu + someone else song so ill only list individual ones from here on out akjdsjkkjdsdk

i thiiink all of sweet trip's "you will never know why" album (im bad with my memory and dont feel like going to look at it all) but especially your world is eternally complete + milk. hmmm. theres some others but this is good i think!

[meera000]

Happy mother's day (late)

Graduated college this week … it's Over but also i felt so disconnected during the last semester bc i was only on campus 2x a week for 1 class, my other class was remote and i was filling credits w an internship. so it's been a soft landing. however i have cried a lot over the last 3 days.

sam called me and was like i cried for the first time in 2 years and i was like holy shit and we talked about our friends we love our friends and how we wished we had been different for a lot of the four years. personally i was just annoying as shit the first three years, but then again i might find my current self annoying next year. he was like "i wish i hadn't been so hell" which sums it up pretty much. but we've both come out of it better and with a clearer understanding of who we are and what we want. no more hell.

went to my last college party last night because i stopped going to emerson stuff. at emerson i felt like everyone thought i was a close friend — that's so not trueee. and so my friend texted me last night and was like where are you you have to come tonight. i said OK. apparently my acquaintances at emerson have started asking where i went. it has gotten to the point though where even kitty and dev my best friends will thank me for going out with them.

on that note: i don't like feeling like i am disappearing, but i am happier just keeping things quiet and close. i know who my friends are (best ppl in world), i am experiencing a healthy relationship for the first time with someone that i care about deeply, i've got a new job that makes me feel excited and treats me well, and we have a perfect cat. and my family lives close by. there isn't much else i can ask for, or room to split up my time anyway. no point exhausting myself so i accidentally disappeared (?) whatever i'm cooling. at least i popped my head in to say hello and goodbye last night. i have a habit of stretching myself too thin so i can please everyone, but i think i'm well on my way to kicking it completely.

the party was shut down half an hour or so after we got there, so dev kat and i went to the bar. we ran into graysen althea ryan and rebekah which was so crazy because i love them all and was trying to catch althea before she went home (we are also seeing each other next week in london but like, that's such a different context). when we all realized the other group was there we were like oh my goddd screaming and jumping up and down. althea and i hugged for like 2 minutes straight and i thought i might knock her over or break my back because we were hugging so tight. and then we walked out when the bar closed and found lily and jesse!!! so fun and cute surprise. being able to feel that sort of excitement when i run into people is so important to a good life AND being able to express that appreciation……… i think graysen and i were like "i love you so much" like at least ten times.

i love my friends. what can i sayyy lol i literally spent my teen years wanting to d*e because i had never felt that sort of platonic love, but all of that changed once i got to college. likeee i am so grateful for my life and everyone everything in it. tacky but true xo

(me holding graysen, althea at the sil, jesse lily dev and kitty outside the salon)

(what's the thing carrie bradshaw said about how in new york you're always looking for a job, apartment, or boyfriend? and that you can't have all three? welllll i got all three in boston #Love)

(i haven't seen sex and the city also i just have heard that quote numerous times. this is totally taken out of context soz)

Edit: althea's post about the same night. i make an appearance! she's not on tumblr but she is on blogspot, and i love her dearly.

[linawritesocs]

my ocs (+ ships) as palette names!

here it is!! all titles are from this post AND HONESTLY I LOVE THEM SO MUCH SOME OF THEM SOUND LIKE REALLY COOL CHAPTER TITLES

all palettes were assigned based only on the titles and not the colors! though some palettes (the (name)-core ones) do have my ocs' vibes ndjdkddk

avery: wishing to rant about fanfiction but not wanting to show how much of a nerd you secretely are, you can’t just ask a guy why he’s in love, some days i’m afraid i will cut my eyes by the sight of glass shards (yes i picked this one only bc of his surname jdksksdkl IT DOES HAVE HIS VIBES THOUGH)

vance: only the floor candy can sustain me (vancecore), the act of balancing a bottle of juice on your head, some days i feel like a lobster on a skateboard 

merrill: next time maybe don’t go into the forest at night hm buddy? just a thought, you are who we say you are because public opinion beats self worth every time, putting on a show to seem alive / when i don’t feel alive (wow these last two are SAD) 

allen: focus on me (ignore the blood), do you remember when you told me that you love me when you told me that you love me when you told me that you, murder and other expressions of love 

roland: stand still as the darkness grows roots in your mind, i loved you i did so how did we end up like this, men like us die alone because we think we deserve it (;w;)

fake!jay: hey quick question are we really about to commit arson? (literally his dynamic with allen), the doctor tried to check my heartbeat only to find out i don’t have one (a reminder that he's not really human!), the privilege of being born somebody else (THIS ONE. OH GOD THIS ONE) 

real!jay: the lack of self esteem i’ve felt since i learned how to read or write (;w; AGAIN), soda cans are great i love accidentally spilling liquid on myself, when i was a small child i held an iguana once 

austin: i’m always at least a little bit scared hopeless and frustrated, a classmate of mine once borrowed one of my pens and then decided it was such a good pen he’s just gonna keep it (austincore), crying because cats are cute and deserve the world 

minnie: this is the third time someone put strawberries in the bathtub who keeps doing this please stop (minniecore), the horrifying ordeal of having loud neighbours, unexplainable excruciating pain that started suddenly and will never go away 

hayden: an unhealthy relationship with one’s own identity (THIS IS LITERALLY HAYDEN), what flavour is your mind (a reference to him trying to understand other people's personalities more so that it's easier for him to manipulate them), the only thing greater than my ego is my impostor syndrome 

riley: i’m a weirdo who likes to eat chalk, have you found yourself or your loved ones suffering from a case of empty eyes, an overemotional state projected upon the unsuspecting public (LITERALLY HIS UNIQUE MAGIC)

angel: this will hurt you more than it’ll hurt me - and that’s okay!, the girl in a blue dress that lives in every village ever (angelcore), the magical princess’s strawberry-scented battle axe of infinite bloodshed 

bunny: wasting your life feeling like an underperforming tool in someone else’s hands (her relationship with angel..), the eye lips eye emoji face fills me with unbridled rage, what do you MEAN there was a fire 

seth: your house has no anomalies but i’m reporting you for bad taste in art (YEAH THIS DOES SOUND LIKE SETH), you love them now you’ll hate them later (sethcore),  i haven’t left the house in months (his backstory 😔)

and now, the oc ships!

avery x allen: what are you doing in my house / now now i don’t usually make it a habit to - stop yelling - break into people’s homes but as you can see sometimes i do, once again i am forced to ask what in the world did you bring into our home / what do you mean what did i bring it’s very clearly a radioactive waste barrel don’t pretend you don’t know that, the tall faceless lad out the corner of my eye who watches me sleep while pointing at the door 

vance x riley: the man who looked at me so sweetly in soft flavours of deep beige, wish me luck honey (i couldn’t ask for more), just friends but we kiss sometimes 

merrill x cater: can you help me find what’s wrong with me, men like us aren’t supposed to feel these things, it’s past my bedtime and i’m thinking of you (i don't talk a lot about this ship but trust me, i love them SO MUCH)

merrill x austin: of all the things you could be doing why are you romancing soda cans, wish we could go out for coffee but you hate me and i hate coffee, sorry that your rant about how the game i like ruined the whole series forever didn’t make me like it any less 

allen x nemis: my girlfriend said i eat corn weird which now that i think about it would explain why i’m consistently covered in butter (listen it does sound like them), look at her go biting everyone who comes near her like a champ, here’s cheers to the man who stole my heart away 

allen x hayden: let your tender hands rip me apart, what’s a little murder between friends, i’ve been chugging poison waiting for the day you inevitably take me up on my offer and take a proper bite out of me (THIS ONE. POWERFUL)

minnie x sebek: your love has brought me to the point of no returning, don’t try to tell me how i’m supposed to breathe, people ask me how i manage to think of you everyday and to be completely honest i never know what to say because it feels so natural 

hayden x elpys: i need you to understand that i really do want what’s best for you - and that simply isn’t me, you are a dream in a crowd of nightmares, you must have real self confidence mortal to attempt flirting with something all holy 

seth x riddle: dunks you in tea LOL, get your shoes off my bed you animal (these ones are chaotic and i love it), he to whom the cake’s dedicated 

seth x rollo: i touch you and my hands burn my hands burn my hands burn (what have you done) (yeah it was painful to type this one), give me salvation i swear i won’t bite, well first of all i am positive what you did is a criminal offense / and second of all why didn’t you invite me (hiii i love "seth x rollo as a villain couple" so much <3)

[lunaastoir]

fluff/relationships w the mondstadt crew

characters included: diluc, kaeya, and jean

gn! reader as always <3

tw: fluff??? domesticity??? crack??? ideal relationships w people who will never be real??? also mentions of alcohol!

an: so i’m back w a sequel to my “fluff/relationships w the liyue crew” since you guys seemed to really like it <3 thank you my heart is literally melting 😩 this post was getting too long so i excluded some of the characters but expect a part. 2 (more like part 3 but part 2 to the mondstadt version)! 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

diluc

man. this MAN.

that’s it, that’s the headcanon. 

he would literally be the most doting lover in the softest ways

SUCH a soft romantic like you thought you knew love??? nah this man will show you what love is

will constantly leave you things around the winery to convey his silent thank you’s and appreciation for you putting up with him being busy for most of the day

it’s always the most thoughtful things ever too like-

you mentioned how nice it would be to have some fresh lemonade with the hotter weather outside but it was too late in the day to actually go to the market in search of fresh lemons 

the next day you walked downstairs only to be greeted with a pitcher of cool lemonade with a side of lemon bars

there was a note attached to the handle of the pitcher <3 

“i recall you mentioning how lemonade would be perfect for the warmer weather so i decided to make some for you this morning. i hope it’s still cool by the time you drink it. love, d” 

pls sir your hand in marriage

he secretly loves it when you usher him to bed after waking up in the dead of night to see him working by candlelight on reports 

soft hands on his cheeks gently whispering about how, it’s been far too long and come to bed, darling and there will be time for this in the morning

his protests are light given the dark purple hues under his crimson eyes but he’ll still make a little fuss 

don’t let this man fool you tho he’s so so touched that you care enough to check up on him and drag him to bed!!

sometimes on the days he has a bit more free time, the two of you will quickly grab your dinners and race to the highest spot in the winery to watch the setting sun

these moments are always filled with laughter, something you’ve found you’re easily able to pull out of diluc, simply because it’s you 

uncontrollable sobbing

he would let you paint his nails black like the angsty man he is 

frankly he would let you do anything to him if it makes you happy <3 

ok but wait diluc w bLACK NAILS?? AND RINGS??? i would die on the spot ⚰️

on the topic of makeup, this man is surprisingly really good w it 

i like to think he learned after practicing on kaeya when they were younger bc kaeya was really into makeup

you found out after babysitting klee one day and trying failing to draw eyeliner on the sweet girl after her “big brother ‘bedo!”

you hastily grabbed some wipes, gently wiping off the messed up design before attempting to dive back in 

diluc however, had some down time so he decided to check up on his favorite chaotic duo 

only to be met with a pile of dirtied makeup wipes, your frustrated expression, and klee’s growing jitteriness 

swiftly moving to your side, he quietly asked if you needed help 

you glanced up quizzically before handing him the eyeliner, already looking around to find more makeup wipes when this inevitably goes wrong 

to your utter surprise tho the eyeliner is perfect??? two perfect winged lines??? in less than a minute??? WHAT

you just stood there like 😦 before diluc got back up and handed you the eyeliner 

you were short-circuiting, klee was ecstatic, diluc was worried about you 

ok last thing abt diluc 

crack! warning but the both of you like lowkey pranking kaeya 

for diluc it’s revenge on his annoying brother; for you it’s good - natured sibling rivalry fun 

every time the two of you see kaeya, one of you always swipes something of his 

small things really, it could be a pen or a handkerchief

one time, diluc swiped kaeya’s spare eyepatch and from the looks of it, kaeya’s only spare black eyepatch bc he was frantically looking for it yk he’s desperate when he even asked diluc if he saw it

the two of you spent an hour nearly laughing your asses off 

all in all, life w him is so sweet 

kaeya

pretty boy? pretty boy. 

while i can’t guarantee stability, life would never be boring w this man that’s for sure

piggy back rides 🗣 piggy back rides 🗣 piggy back rides 

he LOVES it, the feel of you on his back while he’s walking around mondstadt most likely carrying you to your commission 

he finds it comforting especially since he can hear the rumble of your voice against him while you recount stories, or just babble on about everything under the sun 

he is SO dramatic so obviously when y’all reach the site of the commission he has to kill all the monsters even tho the both of you agreed to split it up evenly 

he makes quick work of his set before stealing some of yours much to your chagrin 

you scold him but can you really be mad at him when he looks drop dead gorgeous freezing the hilichurls the answer is no, no you cannot be

oh my god ok wait-

he does this thing where he tries to spook you in public 

so say you’re getting groceries at the mondstadt general store

you round the corner just minding your own business, looking around, taking in the sunshine 

and suddenly you just hear someone drop in behind you but before you can register anything you hear a soft “boo” and hands circle your waist 

you jump SIKE let’s be honest you shrieked 

meanwhile kaeya’s just laughing his ass off 

you can hear his rich peals of laughter while you attempt to regain your bearings 

he does this so often you SHOULD be used to it but you really aren’t bc mans is SNEAKY-

he cards his fingers in your hair whenever you’re speaking 

he doesn’t know why, it’s just a cute habit and he finds the feel of his fingers in your hair soothing

oH on the topic of comfort, kaeya really likes resting two fingers on the back of your neck???

ik he seems like the type to throw his arm around your shoulder which yes he totally is but during more serious conversations his hand automatically seeks out the warmth of your neck 

your neck feels amazing especially during the warmer months due to his chilly fingers contrasting with your warm skin  

he likes that he’s able to access such a vulnerable part of you and you would willingly let him 

HE GETS YOU MATCHING OUTFITS

no i will NOT take criticism on this i just kNOW he’s that type of guy

it would be those stupid “i’m his” and “they’re mine” sweatshirts like BYE 

it’s so cringy but for some reason it’s oddly adorable and you truly despise it but you can’t seem to say no whenever he asks 

you pretend to ignore the look of pity diluc throws your way whenever he sees you like this

kaeya really loves accessories so i think he would be the type to give you a promise ring or something similar to show that he truly does care for you 

he would brush it off, flirting a little like usual before handing you the ring 

with the way his cheeks softly darken though, you know he’s being genuine 

TICKLE FIGHTS ik i mentioned this for childe but shhhh

he has tickle fingers??? his hands just loOK like they’re itching to tickle someone so you’ll most likely be the unfortunate victim 

he will not show you mercy. at all. he’ll tickle you until there are tears streaming from your eyes, your face is hot, and your voice is hoarse from laughing so damn hard 

it gives him such a rush of serotonin its SO CUTE 

i feel like this goes without saying but he’s super into pda,,, anything and everything is on the table 

hand holding? duh. ass grabs? ofc. carrying you bridal style around mondstadt? why not 

ik he’s typically very playful but once the relationship reaches a certain stage, he’ll slowly start to let down the walls that surround his facade 

very very slowly show you the more realistic parts of him 

the real, damaged pieces of his soul 

he’ll be carefully monitoring your reaction though, any sign of fear or disgust will have him recoiling within himself again and you most likely will never see his true nature ever again 

SO BE CAREFUL 👹

once you’ve seen the parts of him he’s offered to you, the hushed whispers of his past, and the uncertain lines of his future, he will take off his eyepatch 

pretends like he’s not super nervous but he’s SWEATING- 

the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen though hands down 

you can understand why he covers it up but you would like it if he felt comfortable enough to take off the eyepatch occasionally when he’s with you 

also!!! sleeps with his eyepatch side facing you (in the event he wears it to bed) 

if this happens you KNOW he trusts you bc it’s his blindside <3 

anyways life w kaeya will never be boring but he is a very complicated man 

stay with him though, i promise it’ll be worth it 

jean

the key to jean’s heart is coffee and food 

GET HER COFFEE AND FOOD

i am begging you she deserves it 😭

the poor woman works so hard bc the knights are so mf understaffed, this is literally the best way you can ever show her your love and appreciation when she has work

she will MELT if you have a hot shower and dinner waiting for her when she inevitably returns later than she promised

will completely refuse at first with, “you did not have to do this, it’s too much” but shush her as you shOULD bc she deserves the entire world 

she’s the definition of “you do something for me, i’ll return the favor ten times grander”

you leave a flower on her desk bc it reminded you of her??? you’ll wake up to find a whole bouquet of the prettiest windwheel asters you’ve ever seen the next morning along with a thank you note

she’s so sweet BYE

she gets flustered extremely easily so you obviously use this as an opportunity to tease her 

when you’re in public rest your hand on her waist and inch it higher until your hand is underneath her shirt and in contact with her warm skin 

she’ll actually short-circuit its quite adorable 

sometimes y’all will be cuddling and you’ll hear whispers of her insecurities 

“am i a good grand master? will i ever be as valiant as vanessa?”

reassure her!!! tell her that she doesn’t need to be like vanessa, she’s already amazing as jean 

if you haven’t seen her in awhile, track her down and schedule a lunch date 

she never misses appointments and if it’s for you, she’ll gladly make time to see you even if she has to stay up even later than usual 

OH-

GIVE HER MASSAGES 

she has so much tension and the sorest muscles from hunching over papers and running around on errands 

if you sneak into her office and quietly stand behind her before gently pushing down on the sore tendons of her neck, she’ll genuinely fall over on her desk 

so make sure you steady her 😀

after you feel how tight her muscles are though, you drag her to barbara bc she needs a healer asap 😭

while most of your time is spent in her office - you helping out in the ways you can while jean is overseeing knight duties - you still have your fair share of life outside of the favonius headquarters

jean never likes to sit still so whenever you have free time, the both of you head off looking for monsters to clear

bouken da bouken???

adventuring w jean is seriously the funnest thing you could ever do 

it’s just non-stop you accidentally getting into trouble and her having to come help you 

even tho the both of you are dead tired after fighting, what? 20 hilichurl camps now??? the laughter and joy in your eyes shows how you both truly loved every minute of it

it’s both a stress reliever, good fun, and a work-out <3

you’re definitely prone to getting dragged to angel’s share w kaeya 

kaeya and jean sometimes hang out after work at the tavern so inevitably you’re dragged along too 

all three of you are drunk out of your minds which just makes everything a MILLION times funnier 

kaeya slurring over his words makes the two of you start cackling endlessly while diluc just shakes his head making sure to not give you more wine despite your pleas 

angel’s share ft. kaeya and bartender diluc are always the best times fr fr 

life with her literally feels like y’all are married 

so much domesticity it’s so NICE ALJDKSFH

your house is always so clean and the color scheme is impeccable bc jean has such a good eye 

you have a chore schedule 😎 but it almost never works out bc jean ends up doing everything without you knowing- 

you always confront her abt it and she’s like 😁 “i had some time so i did them! no worries tho” like i- time??? where bitc-

oH- she has amazing style so you can bet shopping w her is literally the best experience 

she takes you to all of the hidden gems some places lisa recommended and helps you pick out things 

will 100% get really blushy if you come out in something and ask her for her opinion tho she’s literally the cutest

basically jean is a sweet girl who deserves the entirety of teyvat that is all. 

thanks for reading! if you have any requests don’t hesitate to send them in <3 

[dreamkenn]

how they hold you as the sun rises

 bakugo, shinso, shoto, tamaki, kirishima

fluff w gender neutral reader (bc I am lonely someone come spoon me) this is the first thing i’m posting so apologies if the formatting, writing & typos are uhhh bad (specific apologies for the number of commas used,,, help i think i’m addicted to them)

cw: brief mention of nightmares and anxiety but overall very fluffy, the nightmares are only introduced to be dismissed 

Bakugo- your body is held tightly, almost crushingly close to his, as you sleep peacefully. It rare you notice, as it only happens in his deepest sleep. Bakugo always holds you close, but he’s always tentative of his strength. the flex and control of his muscles whenever he pulls you close, arms gently guiding you. but it’s only at times like this where small nightmares make him drag you so close, arms trembling as they engulf you breath hot against your shoulder. then slowly relaxing, his breath falls back to his peaceful hums taking in your presence your proximity your tangible safety, but still unwaveringly he holds you close. 

Shinso-  as soon as shinso finishes work he gently places your sleeping form on his chest, arms slowly stroking along yours, taking in this blissful moment. your skin blessed with the morning sun as he holds you, tracing meandering patterns into your skin. wordlessly watching as the warm golden hues fall across your face. the sacred time before he falls asleep is so peaceful, the gentle weight of your body against his. basking in your small movements as you relax into him, your arms eventually reaching out to hold him in your sleep. he feels safe.

Shoto- frankly it depends on the weather, the fabled couples argument of one place being ‘your side of the bed’ never really occurs as it switches with the seasons. there is still a constant, something that calms both of your minds; to shoto it’s your gentle breaths against his clavicle. those steady little exhales assuring him of your presence, your gentle dreams & state of peace- your happiness grounds him even in his sleep. to you it’s the brush of his hair tickling your forehead in your peaceful slumber, wriggling slightly as the drastic changes in temperatures glances across your brow- for him to only readjust. his hair once again tickling you as you follow this strange sleep filled dance you two uniquely share, feet entangled the whole time.

Tamaki- he doesn’t quite hold you- not to say he’s distant. rather his hands cling to your top furled into small fists desperately holding onto you. his lanky form stretching next to you almost like a cat as the early sun floods your bedroom and warms him. yet tamaki's head always returns to nuzzle gently against your hair, still sleeping as he gently mumbles your name. his stretches are small never daring to risk dislodging the arm you have wrapped around his torso. sometimes when neither of you can sleep you stay entangled like this, curtains closed blocking out the sunrise- gentle murmurs back and forth voices occasionally rising too enthusiastically for the hour. you’ll talk about many things, often the sleep filled thoughts don’t quite make sense. they still feel like the most precious words you could ever hear.

Kirishima- lovingly. his embrace is filled with mumbles, repositioning and deep inhales. even in his sleep- in any state or time kirishima is reaching out to you, holding you so close. hands reminding him of your soft skin, heart accelerating at the warmth that indicates your presence. his breath varying as he inhales the scent of your hair, ticking you as he breathes deeply into the side of your neck, varying further as he mumbles and chuckles in his sleep, your name said softly so many times.  of course, kirishma holds you close, hugged tightly to his chest- but that description fails to empathise the worship in how he does so.

i might do another one with more characters bc this made me soft also thank you for reading i hope you are hydrated 

[chiwhorei]

𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭

cross-posted to Ao3!

pairing: issei “horse cock” matsukawa x fem!reader

genre: smut, 18+ mdni

word count: ~4.4k

tags: stripper!issei, stripper!seijoh, roommate!oikawa, tendoukawa (bc @heauxzenji said it an it’s now the only ship in my head) dry humping, lap dance, a little corruption, spitting, public, alcohol and recreational drug consumption (weed and coke), spanking, degradation, hardly edited

a/n: howdy! this is my contribution to the smut pile’s western collab and it is so incredibly late but what the hell else is new. the masterlist for the collab can be found here! @messwriting and myself, in true chaotic duo fashion, built an absolutely depraved multiverse of seijoh strippers: the lawbreakers. lee, i love you so much. this journey we’ve been on the past few months has been chaotic and beautiful, and there’s plenty more to come. 

the multiverse: hanamaki || iwaizumi || kyoutani

hymn: save a horse (ride a cowboy) by big & rich

and all the girls say— save a horse, ride a cowboy

A fog of smoke burns in your eyes. The room around you feels like it could curl in on itself, four walls marked sparsely with dusty furniture, the smell of weed and cash. 

You fix your gaze onto a long, diagonal tear in the leather couch across the must and g-strings, the rip in upholstery is stuffed with wrinkled one dollar bills. 

It feels like observing an exhibit at a museum, or a zoo. Lines of coke, random dustings of pot and discarded swisher tobacco, too many open handles of liquor. Sitting on an end table is a bright pink teddy bear with a cowboy hat on it’s head.

How the fuck did you get here?

***

You shift your weight on either foot, arches aching already. The pair of jeans and top you had planned on wearing tonight were all but ripped off of your body, casual boots thrown down the hallway with sadistic glee and replaced with heels that are taller and a dress much too short.

“Damnit, you’re walking too fast.” Your appointed captor turns around dramatically, stopping in his tracks to watch you catch up. The cigarette pressed into his mouth cards in two fingers and extended towards you as a peace offering. You take the half gone stick and bring it to your lips.

Tendou’s mission was simple, drag his boyfriends roommate and best friend-- possibly kicking and screaming-- out for a night she won’t soon forget. 

“Were those really necessary, Satori?” You point with the remnants of his cigarette and he feigns a kicked-puppy expression, looking down dramatically at his all black outfit contrasting drastically with a flashy pair of brownish-red cowboy boots. 

“I am being a supportive partner. Plus Tooru and I wear the same shoe size.” His hair is bright outlined by the neon sign above the building.

You inhale smoke and nicotine, eying him over once again before continuing. 

“Does it bother you when he’s dancing on all of those horny women?” The cigarette butt falls to the ground, you snuff it out while exhaling remnant smoke from your nose, the bachelorette party walking towards the door in a parade screaming emphasizes your question.

Tendou pulls you close, mouth pressing against your neck to bite against the skin. You jerk away from his embrace, with a feeble push against his chest to match the scoff scratching against your throat. The tall red head above you, currently leaned into the dip on your neck, always has an air of vulgar humor and zero personal space. 

“Watching my pretty little boyfriend grinding on women that would never stand a chance with him,” he pulls away just in time to catch another eye roll before grabbing your wrist to pull you inside, “I think it’s hot as fuck.” 

You stumble behind him, the doorman recognizing your friend immediately and lets the pair of you through tacky saloon doors. You catch a glimpse of the tattered sign standing right next to the entrance. 

Lawbreaker’s Presents: The Guys of the Wild West

The club is drastically warmer than outside, the chill in your barely covered limbs thaws in a mixture of stage lights and body heat.

 You sigh deeply as the sound of country music fills your ears, seemingly in rhythm with the squawking of drunken hens sipping on tall flutes of champagne. Thinking back briefly to when you first signed the lease with Oikawa, you remember he wore glasses and a sweater vest. 

He said he worked as a “fitness instructor.”

“Ah, my two favorite people in the whole world,” Tooru’s ears just have been burning at your recollection, as your roommate appears in front of you in nothing but white spandex shorts and a pair of shiny boots to match, a tray of drinks is placed to the side on an unoccupied table. The white cowboy hat on his head gleamed in the low light of the club, rhinestone star shimmers-- you want to shy away from the bright refraction hitting your eyes.

He looks in his element, completely confident and cocksure as he walks around in only underwear and body oil. 

“Aren’t you glad you came out tonight? I promise, you’re going to have a great time.” Oikawa melts into Tendou’s side, he looks just as content in the current atmosphere. Tendou seems at home in any ecosystem he wanders into.

“The show starts in 15, go get yourself a drink and try to pull the stick out of your ass. I’m going to, uhm, wish Tooru an extra special good luck.” 

“I really didn’t need to know that, thanks. Tooru, break a leg.” You turn around at the sight of the wandering, tattooed hand on it’s journey south on Oikawa’s abdomen and retreat to the bar. You aren’t shocked by the display, not hardly, not with the two of them using almost every surface in your apartment as a debauched playground.

The space around you is emptier than you imagined it would be, but there is still time before the night actually starts. The bartender approaches just as you sit down on one of the wooden stools, every fixture around you is designed to look like an old saloon-- save for the strobing lights and dj booth.

You order something strong and amber, partially to stay in-theme, partially for the nerves settled in your stomach that draft beer wouldn’t be able to curb.

The woman smiles brightly and turns to pour your liquor, leaving you to pick at a cocktail napkin and await your friend’s return.

“You’re Shittykawa’s roommate.” A stranger's voice is deep and bellowing, sounding high above your ear. You swivel in your seat, gaze meeting a tanned chest instead of a set of eyes. Trailing upwards past thick black tattoos and an unavoidable pair of silver nipple rings.

You can feel the muscles in the back of your neck as they strain to meet his chocolate brown stare, he looks amused as you all but gawk at him.

“Yes, uh, I am. And you’re, uhm--” the train of thought you try to hang onto derailed completely by a devastating smile, “one of Tooru’s co-workers?”

If his smile wasn’t enough, his laugh could level the building around you. Your new friend taps the black Stetson against the bar top before putting it back on his head. He gestures broadly to his attire, or lack thereof, with another disarming and smooth chuckle. 

“What gave that one away, darlin’?” You realize how stupid your question sounded, mentally kicking yourself but trying desperately not to show it on your face.

Long, thick legs are wrapped in a pair of leather chaps, the tight fabric hides nothing even if it covers most of his lower half. A matching vest hangs open on his chest, the muscles in his arms look bigger than your head. He seems huge in presence and physique, your own form is a shrinking violet below him.

“Your drink, dear. Double Jack n’ Coke.” The bartender slides a glass towards you, and you accept it with a gracious smile. The distraction is definitely appreciated, any excuse to break the eye contact that has you dissolving like lye.

“Jack n’ Coke, a gal after my own heart.” You choke, a coupling of small coughs break out of your chest. You curse your bodies reaction, you don’t even know--

“You’re name, uh, w-what’s your name.” Casual conversation seems like the best option, because it’s only been two minutes with the almost-naked Casanova and there’s a gnawing feeling that you don’t want him to walk away.

You blame it on the alcohol not yet even running through your veins. 

“Call me anything you want, pretty girl, but my name’s Issei.”

A smile creeps from one end of your mouth to the other. His presence is jarring to say the least, but there’s something about the way his teeth peek out past curled lips that makes you want to lean in instead of away.

Tendou calls your name, effectively pulling you out of Issei’s orbit and reminding you where you are. Heat flushes in waves on your face as Tendou wraps his long arms around your shoulders from behind. Acknowledging your new friend with a pointed, “Howdy partner,” before turning to order his own drink.

“Something sweet please, and strong.” You hear his voice singing to the bartender but still face Issei, having his attention is more intoxicating than whiskey. You want him to talk to you, to ask you questions, to grace you with that smile over again.

You feel the ability to breathe escaping when Issei leans into you impossibly close, his hand enclosing around your back and pulling you in so slightly you could swear you imagined it.

“It was nice to meet you. Make sure I hear ya’ out there, darlin.”

You’re left almost falling from the bar stool, watching as Issei strides toward the back. The way his hips sway is unfair in every--

“Hey,” Tendou’s fingers come up to snap in front of your face, “Didya hear me? Let’s go take our seats.” 

That’s right; you feel like you’ve just run a marathon, heart beating erratically at the briefest interaction, your night hasn’t even started yet. 

You’re dragged directly towards the front of the stage and sat in a small two person table. You agreed to the night out between gritted teeth, hauled to the uber with absolute defiance; but most of your protest has fizzled away-- definitely not due to a pair of deep brown eyes and planes of perfectly tanned skin-- as you get comfortable next to the boisterous bridal party. You can hear their idle, drunken chatter at your back. 

“I heard they call one of the dancers ‘Mad Dog’. Apparently he’s totally feral.”

“One of them is nicknamed the ‘Big Tease’, he really likes the pretty little brides~” 

“Oh yeah? Well there’s one dancer called ‘Horse Cock’. I’m going to go home with him.” 

The women behind you howl with laughter, enjoying their friend’s last night of freedom. The straw in your drink twirls idly, thoughts drifting with each turn of the plastic against your liquor. Surely, Issei had just intended a friendly introduction, he wouldn’t be raking in tips by being unapproachable.

Friendly, you decide, repeating it to yourself until the lights drop and a black curtain is pulled up, he was just being nice. 

* * *

The show starts out mostly how you would expect. Through a few sets, toned, beautiful guys take their clothes off and fling articles at the screaming, panting crowd. The table next to you gets the most attention, bridal parties, you assume, would be the prized cash cow.

Oikawa comes out in the most obnoxious, white and teal outfit and strips into nothing but a thong and boots. Every inch of his skin sparkles, the cause becoming obvious when he jumps down to the audience and swivels his hips and ass right into your lap. Your hand comes up to his hip reflexively to brace yourself-- of course, body glitter.

You watch on at the sweaty writhing of the most beautiful men you have ever seen in real life. The atmosphere around you is absolutely contagious, it’s impossible not to fall into the rhythm, losing inhibitions with every stray piece of fabric as it’s tossed into the sea of women.

Just as you lean over to Tendou to admit that you’re enjoying yourself, the next song blasts loudly from the speakers. The beat vibrates your table, soaking into every nerve, but is almost drowned out completely by the shrieking from every patron around you. They must know what’s coming. 

 Looking back up front, you realize why the crowd is losing their minds. The man that commanded your attention at the bar is even more alluring now. His strut to center stage is deliberate, flashing smiles and winks to no one in particular and hypnotizing every person in his reach.

Issei is stunning in his element, soaking in the reaction with a humble tip of his hat. You could swear, though you’re sure that it’s just your imagination, that he’s looking right at you.

His performance starts out like the rest of them, but each movement of his tattooed hands as they travel over his chest is spellbinding. 

Issei discards his leather vest and tosses it to the side, it feels like you’re watching him in slow motion. He’s gorgeous, skin tanned and tight over thick muscle, arms wrapped in black ink and shining with sweat.

His chaps are next, ripped from his legs just as music behind him picks up. The wedding party next to you so loud you swear the laundromat next door can hear.

 All that’s left is a thong that’s barely covering his cock. You try desperately not to, but all your eyes can focus on is the bulge under a tiny piece of black leather. Your thighs rub together in search of any relief to the feeling growing hot and slick in your stomach.

He moves like liquid platinum, every long, deliberate swivel of his hips and overt palming over his crotch is enough to cause delirium. He soaks in every whistle and shriek of his name, vibrating on the high of squelching attention. 

Issei is a natural. He’s a wild animal, and, along with every other woman there, you wish he would tear you apart with his canines. 

He descends the short staircase with a quick stomp of his boots, now making rounds through the crowd. He stops in front of tables at random, invading the space between strangers and collecting wrinkled one dollar bills.

Why does something so blatantly performative feel voyeurous?

All you can do is gawk, ignoring how every time another woman’s hand runs down his abdomen you heat with envy. As he turns away from the bridal party neighboring you, your blood turns ice cold.

Issei has you, unmistakably, in his sights. His eyes pin you, holding you down tightly in your chair as he struts forward. Tendou whistles loudly as the brunette approaches your table. You wonder, in your last moment of cognizance, if Saroti and Tooru had planned your evening in more detail that you originally thought.

“Long time no see, darlin’,” Issei stands over you, and all you can do is stare dumbly up at him, “do ya trust me?” 

You don’t answer, not with words, not like he would even hear your quiver over Big & Rich booming through the speakers. His question is stupid, to trust someone you just met so vaguely?

You do. Against any better judgement, you do. 

He doesn't give you the chance to ask what he means, stuck in the gooey feeling of his attention. Issei reaches behind you, picking up your half empty glass. He swirls the drink with an almost evil smile before bringing it up to his lips and draining the last bits of whiskey and coke. 

Your face reads confused, not putting his intentions together until you feel his thumb pressed against your chin. Issei’s eyebrow quirks, eyes trained on your reaction. You’re options are to shy away, turning back in your seat, running for escape in the bathroom, or--

The gloss on your mouth is sticky as your lips part in obedience. Issei tries to hide his elation, but it’s difficult to remain aloof as your tongue lulls out and your eyes beg him.

Issei’s hold on your chin tightens, nudging you to lean in so he’s only inches away. Your eyes shut lightly, the shouting surrounding you sounds little more than a whisper with the blood rushing in your ears.

You swear you can hear him groan above you as the sharp taste of liquor hits your tongue. Willing your body to cooperate, you swallow the drink with only a small cough. 

His face dips down, it seems like a habit now, to brush his promises against the shell of your ear once again.

“You’re an agreeable little thing, I think you can take it.”

His hands are on either side of your chair in a flash, lifting you up with trained, bulging muscles. You fall forward in your seat, bracing against Issei’s chest. Every cell in your body is tight with tension, if you lift your head up to meet the audience’s eyes, you’re sure you’ll crack like glass.

He steals you from relative comfort, shifting your weight in his arms as he ascends back onto stage. You’ve gone limp in his hold, pliant to his will. The unfamiliar presence at a dusty bar top has turned into more than a front row seat to depravity.

You’re thrown off balance as he sets you down, eyes adjusting to the white hot stage lights. You’re exposed to every set of eyes in the building, even if you can’t see him-- you know Satori is smiling from one sharp cheek to the other. Wherever Tooru is, he’s most likely sitting in the same satisfaction.

Aren’t you glad you came out tonight? I promise, you’re going to have a great time.

Issei rounds the back of your chair so his actions are hidden from your view. The brim of a leather cowboy hat breaches your field of vision, much too big for your head.

His hands come down onto your shoulders, snaking down your bare arms. His touch leaves a scorching fleet of chills. Issei runs his finger tips upwards, tracing against your collarbone before wrapping his grip lightly around your neck. 

He can feel it, he has to, the racing pulse right under the surface of your skin.

The music transitions effortlessly, going almost unnoticed. The next song, still sharp with a cheesy country twang, is slower, deeper.

Issei’s thumb brushes against your cheek, your body wants to relax into the touch before it remembers how public the gesture is.

You hold in a shaky breath as he comes to stand in your eyeline again, you might as well be bound to your chair with rope. He looks larger than life-- in both stature and presence-- in front of you. His skin is glistening, refracting from the harsh lights with sweat and oil. 

He is an unstoppable force against your will. Your desire to hide from the blinding attention is nothing compared to the desire to please. To please a stranger, to please the man you met only an hour ago. 

To please Issei.

He flashes you another wink, taking a moment to rake his stair down your body. He memorizes the outline of your cute little dress, red is definitely your color. 

Issei slides across the smooth surface of the stage to meet where you’re perched. The barreling, almost naked body now impossibly close to where your knees are pressed together.

He starts at your ankles, tracing the soft skin of your legs until his palms press flatly against your lower thigh. Issei savors the moment for a beat longer before prying your legs apart.

The crowd below you is loud and hollow in your ears, the shame bubbling up against your cheeks and nose is nothing compared to the pressure between your legs. 

Issei’s hands wander up and under the hem of your skirt, scratching his nails on the vulnerable skin before they find his prize in the form of thin lace.

The “Wait” and “Stop” sitting on your lips shrivels up and dies as your panties are ripped off. You see the bright color, the last remnants of opposition twirling around his pointer and middle finger.

The crowd goes wild, watching as your body is made a fantasy that they can all live vicariously by. all you can do is watch as the fabric is stuffed into the side of his thong to accompany fistfuls of singles.

* * *

You’re still in shock by the final dance, still under a trance as Tendou pulls you towards the back. Stumbling behind him to catch up, you’re given no time to think about what you’re about to walk into. 

A fog of smoke burns in your eyes. The room around you feels like it could curl in on itself, four walls marked sparsely with dusty furniture, the smell of weed and cash. 

You fix your gaze onto a long, diagonal tear in the leather couch across the must and g-strings, the rip in upholstery is stuffed with wrinkled one dollar bills. 

It feels like observing an exhibit at a museum, or a zoo. Lines of coke, random dustings of pot and discarded swisher tobacco, too many open handles of liquor. Sitting on an end table is a bright pink teddy bear with a cowboy hat on it’s head--

“I didn’t go too far did I?” Snapping back into reality, you hear Issei call to you. You’re vaguely comforted by a familiar voice before remembering the man attached had spat whiskey into your mouth and stolen your panties just 30 minutes prior. You heat up at the tips of your ears at the recollection of two things you had let him do, that you had wanted him to do. 

Your eyes find Issei sitting on the couch on the opposite end of your freshly showered roommate, seemingly unbothered as Tendou flops down against the middle cushion and drapes both arms across the back. 

“Don’t worry partner, our girl doesn’t startle easy.” Oikawa laughs, adjusting to sit across his boyfriend’s lap.  Issei’s all leather outfit is replaced with a pair of grey sweats. He looks relaxed, effortlessly handsome. 

What was it like, you wonder, before you knew how it felt to look at him? Life past the single night feels grey around the edges. 

When was the last time you felt this alive? 

He takes a sip of a water bottle, wiping off his chin with the large rose tattooed on his hand. You can’t stop staring at them-- the ones that roamed your body in front of a club full of drunk bachelorettes, the ones that traced your skin like he already had the map. 

And now you watch those same hands, so new but so inviting, as two fingers curl inward. They pull you as if tightening a rope around your waist. You wade past tall sweaty men and freshly caught audience members as they tangle across dusty furniture.

You scoot by your best friends from where they sit next to Issei, ignoring the slap to your ass and the following laugh from Oikawa in between loud, sloshing kisses.

“Well, little one,” He pats his thigh, inviting you to the spot on his lap rather than the empty seat next to him, “you’re not gonna run away are ya?” 

Every nerve in your body is twitching, you’re not sure if you could run if you wanted to.

You don’t.

Issei takes in your small nod of confirmation, pulling you into his hold. The position is awkward at first, perching on his knee as you try to keep your balance. He laughs, his arm snaking around your back so you relax into him. You fidget with your fingers as they lie against your lap, watching the bustling around you. A cloud of smoke settles in the air, you wonder if it’s a permanent haze of tobacco and pot-- the scent is probably painted into the walls. 

“Is this what you expected?” Issei’s voice is low and close to your ear, you can feel the smile curled into his question. Your eyes are fixed forward, watching as Tendou pours a small white line into Oikawa’s collarbone and dives in nose first.

“Honestly,” you adjust, kicking your legs up over his other knee, “I’m pretty used to this kind of stuff.”

Even if your usual scene doesn't include a drug filled almost-orgy, you can’t say you’re fazed much. Not with the company you keep.

Even with the circus revolving around you, Issei is the only thing you can see. Everything else falls away but the smell of his body wash and the soft material of his sweats where they meet your naked legs.

His hand rests against your thigh, fingers just above then short hem of your party dress. The metal rings on each digit are cool against your burning skin. You’re sure Issei can feel the heat rising in your stomach as it spreads through your blood. 

You feel him lean back, fishing something out of his pocket to set in your hands. You feel every hair stand on edge as the thin cotton drops into your grip, heavy as an anchor.

“You know what I think, darlin’?” Your breath hitches, the room around you squeezing tight against your shoulders, “I think you’re a natural on stage. I bet you would have let me do anything up there.” 

A hand wanders down the path of your spine, rough fingerprints stroke past each vertebrae. You arch at the feeling, his skin is like a narcotic. The liquor still swimming in your mind is no match to this, to the heady smell of sex and sweat as it cuts through your senses. 

Issei’s right, you’ll let him do anything to you. You’ll beg for it like you’re trying to pass the gates of heaven.

Your body moves of its own volition, legs swinging to straddle his waist. The material of your dress bunches over the curve of your ass, completely exposed to the room around you before being eclipsed by steady palms.

You would be, should be, embarrassed by the display of public depravity. No one around seems to notice, half naked is still more modest than most everyone else. Tendou and Oikawa have dissolved into a pile of spit and clashing teeth next to you, saving you from any snide quips. There’s nothing but Issei, face an inch away from you and lips tempting you to lean forward.

“Would it make you feel better if I told you I don’t usually do this?” 

Glassy eyes flick dumbly at the man below you. He sees the wobble of your lip, the glaze in your stare as you memorize every feature on his face. Any reassurance sitting on his tongue dies when you crash your lips against his, hips rolling down into him and knocking him off guard.

Your kiss is searing and drips with finality. You’ve decided what bed you’ll wake up in the morning with your tongue tracing against his molars.

“No, not really.” Foreheads pressed together, it’s your turn to laugh. If you’re honest, you probably made this decision while still sitting at the bar.

You dip back in, emboldened with the bruising fingers digging against the fat of your hips. The feeling of your cunt pressed against his crotch could bring a man to his knees.

He’s not opposed, he’s just gotta get you home first.

all writing is dymphnasprose’s original content, please do not repost or modify. do no read my content as asmr.©️

[potatopossums]

my platonic polyamory

polyamory as an aroace is fuckin wild

(i say this as someone who fluctuates in and out of their ace label. some days I'm ace, other days I'm allo. it's confusing and wild and probably has a lot to do with medication rn. anyhow, i have a lot of empathy and personal understanding for each side of that spectrum.)

i made a post a while back that was something along the lines of "my version of polyamory is just holding hands w all my friends"

and like, yes

to expand upon that, bc that definition is still pretty loose, i think I'm coming to better terms with the word "platonic."

not every aro person is alloplatonic and i probably am alloplatonic but I'm also a recovering people pleaser and i think that contributed a ton to my struggle to feel close to friends (not the only struggle by a longshot but still)

somehow my closest friends have also been people who are neurodivergent, which says a lot for my own neurodivergency: an aspect i often overlook or forget bc i was diagnosed as an adult, so i spent forever framing my life that way, so ofc I'd forget i have ADHD and "oh that's why I do that!!!" happens a lot.

but like. back to "platonic."

i never understood platonic attraction when i first heard of it. i heard the term squish and was like "wut." i understood what it meant for other people and I respected that but i never ever felt like i had a friend crush on anyone. i had crushes that were aesthetic and sexual but never platonic that i was aware of. maybe i wanted platonic things to come along naturally but idk. i don't recall ever looking at someone and thinking "ah yes i want to be their friend so badly!" i don't think i experience that, and if i do, it's demiplatonic, which is hilarious if you think about it, because that requires that I'm ALREADY FRIENDS with someone before i realize how much i want to be friends with them. and that's if that happens at all.

yeah, no, most of the time i just enjoy hanging out with my friends and doing normal friend stuff but once I'm done doing that I'm done and I'm off to my own stuff again. i enjoy being out in public and i have a social job so i like being in social environments to get my people time indirectly, and friend time can be a nice way to relax and explore, but often times I'm just meh? like it's cool but also mm ok. i just do things with people based on how interested they seem in hanging out with me and how much i enjoy hanging out around them and whether we get along during our planned hangouts. seems weird to type it out that way, but that's how my brain operates. kind of how my mind works for sex as well, but that's a different post.

but platonic used to be kind of a dull word for me. like, it really lacked the excitement that romantic held for me, especially in terms of the books I'd read or the movies I'd watch. they were so much more exciting and always filled with some kind of fantasy adventure if i could manage to find that genre. i loved that stuff. it was about people who came to really know and understand and care about each other through their journey and they overcame things together, or they overcame things by applying what they learned from each other. i thought that was the best damn thing ever.

fast forward to me learning I'm aro. and now I'm looking back at all those relationship dynamics in the stories and movies i enjoyed, minus the unearned, not priorly verbally discussed romantic elements, and I'm like OH SO THAT'S WHAT PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS ARE.

like sure I have friends who are very much acquaintances, work friends, etc. people i don't see outside of work often, people who i don't talk to very much, but people i still care about. and then there are my Friends who just AGH i will go on a whole expedition with them if they're up for it. and i love that. and some of my friendships didn't really have that foundation but have it now, some of them are still developing that, and some were like that from the start (shout out to my aro friends we are INSANE and go on adventures every damn day somehow).

but to me, Platonic is when your people go with you on quests and Tolkien-esque adventures. u can't change my mind.

[cdroloisms]

do you have any,,,post prison mute dream stuff??? or like, severely quiet, silent and obedient dream shtuff?? and the consequences thereof??? bc im reading your drabbles and i am in literal awe

aww, thank you so much !! yeah selectively mute dream post prison is absolutely a hc i love and write smtimes - it’s already been suggested in canon, and it’s super fun to play w/ in post-canon works. here’s some fluffy syndicate!dream bc gosh knows we need it after the angst that we’ve been getting 

tw: implied torture, panic attacks, trauma - all v short mentions. this one’s definitely on the lighter side! :D

“I didn’t know you knew sign.”

Dream startles, arms flying to cover his face, and the crow he had been signing at squawks angrily when it turns towards Phil. He ignores its chatter, smoothing his own flinch behind a smile, lowering his wings, bringing his hands, palms up, in front of him at his waist - this song and dance has become all too familiar in the weeks that Dream’s resided with the Syndicate, and Phil is nothing if not patient.

Slowly, the boy uncurls from where he’d huddled into himself, arms clasped firmly around his ribs like someone will try and take them from him if he doesn’t hold on tight enough (and maybe, Phil thinks, imagining the messy lattice of scars underneath Dream’s loose-fitting hoodie that he has only seen a few times since they brought him over, someone has - but those are thoughts that are better left untouched for as long as he can manage it.) Dream’s eyes raise, flick over his face, his breathing quieting down from the discordant rattle it had been, and tentatively, ever slowly, he raises his good hand in a loose fist, letting it bob up and down. Yes.

Phil settles into the armchair across from him, raising his own hands. His fingers feel clumsy, but the memories come back with more ease than he would’ve expected - I know a little. Dream’s eyes don’t quite brighten, but his shoulders fall down from where they’d been hunched up to his ears, the hand he keeps tucked to his chest trembling slightly less, and it’s as much as a win as he’s ever going to get.

The silence stretches, familiar in its awkwardness, and Phil stifles a grimace as he forces long-forgotten memories to the surface. Dream’s hands, from what little he had seen from the doorway, had practically flown as he spoke to the crow still sitting by his right side - obviously practiced even with the still-healing injuries tracing over both arms. How did you learn?

We- He hesitates, left hand trembling violently, before pushing on, we all learned with- he signs a C, then lifts his hands to his head in a sign that Phil vaguely remembers as being the one for deer. Dream must see the questions written in his expression, because his cheeks flush as he backtracks. C-A-L-L-A-H-A-N, he finger spells, and Phil nods. That makes sense.

Some of the crows in the house must have noticed Phil’s arrival, because they storm into the room from the doorway, awkwardly hopping across the door with their wings waving by their sides as they eagerly voice their displeasure at the lack of attention. He’s not in the mood to pick out the words between their angry caws, so he simply watches as they scatter all over the room. Something almost like a smile tugs at Dream’s face as he watches them enter - the kid has grown inexplicably fond of both his flock and all of the assorted animals that Techno drags back into the house whenever he goes out, and Phil has long since resigned himself to being outnumbered one hundred to one by a literal army of mobs wherever he goes. Some of the crows had been pretty wary of Dream at the beginning, but after a few weeks more or less the entire flock has become viciously protective of the kid, sufficiently won over by gifts of head scratches and berries and various shiny things. Sure enough, the birds form a dark, squawking circle at Dream’s feet, a few flying up to tug impatiently at his clothes, and despite the (very obvious) favoritism, Phil smiles; the flock is good for Dream, as annoying as they can be.

DADZA, one calls, its lone cry soon echoed by the entire group of fluttering feathers gathered on the floor, DADZA AND DREAM DADZA DADZA. Phil laughs, a familiar warmth and exasperation filling his lungs, and he turns his attention back to Dream.

You up to some more? He tries; it’s a chance, for sure, and he brushes away the creeping anxiety crawling up his neck; he doesn’t want to make Dream panic, hopes that he’s doing the right thing. I could always use the practice.

Quiet, once again, only broken by the murmurs of his birds eagerly awaiting Dream’s answer as the boy rocks side to side in deliberation, and Phil is halfway through working out a frantic you don’t have to if you don’t want to when Dream raises his own hands.

Sure, he signs, a forced smile on his face but eyes still clear and bright, why not?

Somehow, they end up in a bastardized version of twenty questions, surrounded by birds that do not hesitate at any chance to voice their own opinions. They work through favorite colors (green), favorite flowers (roses for Dream, peonies for Phil), favorite mob (Phil answers this with a pointed definitely-not-crows, staring at the flock who have been shouting over themselves naming different colors for about five minutes, which immediately makes them devolve into screaming caws and divebombs at the edges of Phil’s cape that leave him thoroughly occupied for the next ten minutes), and at some point Phil falls further into the cushions of his chair and Dream’s legs lay against the sofa instead of being drawn up to his chest and it’s almost normal.

By the time Techno finds them, they’ve forgone structure all together, Dream watching intently as Phil signs out an embellished tale of one of the Antarctic Empire’s exploits with a crow held gently in his hands. Techno’s voice behind him startles him bad enough to send his wings snapping outwards, feathers standing on end, but Dream doesn’t react much beyond a twitch of his lips - he must’ve seen the piglin hybrid and tag-teamed to prank him, Phil realizes with a half-hearted grumble. Techno’s eyes sparkle mischievously, definitely planned, then.

“Hi Phil, Dream,” Techno shrugs off his cloak and drapes it over the back of Phil’s chair, “Looks like you’ve been busy. Can’t say I’m not feelin’ a bit left out, though; Phil, you never told me you knew sign language.”

“You never asked, mate,” he quips, even as Dream signs animatedly from the corner of his eye. T-E-C-H-N-O-L-O-S-T.

Techno narrows his eyes. “I get the feelin’ that you’re messin’ with me, nerd.” Dream blinks faux innocently, smiling wider, and Phil picks up on the bit. Oh, this is fun.

He can’t understand us, he assures Dream, feeling a wicked smirk of his own growing on his face. So what do you think for dinner?

“Phil- the betrayal!” Techno splutters, voice going high and pitchy, and that reaction alone would’ve made the prank more than worth it - but Dream’s shoulders shake, eyes glittering as his fingers fly almost too fast for Phil to catch, and oh, that’s laughter, tiny, breathless giggles falling from his lips, and Techno must catch it even as he begins to berate the voices in his head, “This is not a bruh moment, Chat, don’t you start-”

Stew? Dream signs, still snickering, and he looks happy, more than Phil has ever seen him, the sight of him smiling and bright-eyed with amusement almost enough to cover for the gaunt quality of his face, the pale scars left all over his skin.

Of course, mate, Phil signs back, throwing in a do you think T-E-C-H-N-O ended up lost in those same woods again for good measure, rewarded when it sends Dream into another round of giggles. Techno grumbles without any real heat behind it, plopping himself down in the remaining chair.

“Ok, nah, no more of this exclusive club; you guys are teachin’ me this tonight before Chat loses it - yes that was an insult, don’t you start it with the E’s,” and Phil laughs, hard, the flock cawing and beginning to spam E on their own, for some reason, and Dream signing through the alphabet with the biggest grin on his face, and-

“Oh, Prime, this is going to so scuffed,” Phil says, breathless, his warning unheeded as Techno finishes his rant at Chat to focus on Dream.

And it is scuffed - it is so fucking scuffed, between Phil’s lackluster memory and Techno’s frequent interrupting to quiet down an extremely rowdy Chat and the incessant calls of the flock further egging them on, but it’s warm and Dream doesn’t stop smiling and Techno looks more relaxed than he has in weeks and the helpless, singing urge of protect protect protect that has lived in Phil’s head ever since Techno had carried Dream, beaten and bloodied and broken, through their front door finally, finally, begins to quiet down.

He tunes back into the impromptu lesson - they’ve finished the alphabet, seemingly having moved onto common words and objects, and Dream- hesitates, raises his hand, all five fingers drawn together, to the corner of his mouth and then pulls it back. Home, he signs, moving to fingerspelling, H-O-M-E. Home.

For a moment, they’re all quiet, Dream’s hand still raised by his face, even the crows falling silent as they all stare at each other. Phil watches, breath caught in his throat, as the planes of Techno’s face soften, the teasing edge of his voice, for once, leaving. “Yeah, nerd. You’re home.”

Home, Dream signs again, then again, looking up, eyes bright, hopeful. Phil thinks, proudly, that it looks like a new beginning. I’m home.

[hintofelation99]

What if the batfam found batfam headcanons and stuff on tumble, and, by extension, your account?

If the batfam were real my account would be sooooooooooo different. It’d probably be dedicated to things/ppl i like in general rather than just dc/batfam (that being said I am still an accidental batfam blog, I make no promises and will fill no boxes). I’ll assume that I have some posts about the Waynes just cause I would view them as a funny/relatable rich family but I also have posts about other groups/individuals I know and like (ie Harry Styles, Taylor Swift, All Time Low, Hannah Gadsby, etc). Let’s also assume that in this universe I would have batfam posts. If this were to be the case I would def make a bunch of posts about moth-man being a member of the ‘bat squad’ (cause I wouldn’t know they’re fam). Also ngl I would definitely ship them, like I would not know they were a family so I’d definitely ship them, mostly jokingly but probs low key seriously. Which would be even funnier bc my ships would annoy the hell out of them. Based solely off their public vigilante personas here’s how I think my ships would go:

Batgirl/Spoiler: I mean tbh rn whether or not i ship them depends on my mental state and the moon cycle. So I’d definitely ship them in this alternate universe.

Red Robin/Nightwing: I would definitely ship sad analytical boi with sunshine bby. I wouldn’t even need a reason, I’d just think their personalities work well together. Ok I wrote this part a few hours ago and just realized whether or not I shipped them would depend on their ages/how old they appeared to be. I would not ship bby™ (aka 16/17) Tim w/ flippy boi™ (24/25) Dick Grayson.

Babs!Batgirl/Batwoman: Again, no real reason. I’d just think their personalities would be cute together.

The Signal/Kid Flash: I know this one seems random, and tbh it would be. But I’d ship the Signal with another day time hero and I feel like if these characters were real I’d like the speedsters more than the supers (cause they’re more talkative/bantery).

Red Hood/Batman: Tbh this is the worst/funniest. I wouldn’t know RH was a Robin. I would just see them fighting then slowly becoming allies, so I’d be like ‘Cool! What a nice enemies to lovers arc’

But legit if I didn’t know their alter egos/that they’re family my biggest ship would be Red Hood/Batman. Which would be absolutely hilarious. Like imagine all my redarse (yes that is the only ship name I acknowledge for Jason/Roy) posts as Red Hood/Batman. The only differences being that they don’t reference the manor/civilian identities (ex. Instead of saying manor I’d say hideout or some vague shit) and Batman would take Jason’s place as the more cynical/serious one while Red Hood would take Roy’s place as the irresponsible/funny one. It’d be golden, especially bc then Jason and Bruce stumble on to them and would just get so awkward. Just for a moment imagine them reading my ‘who has a better ass’ post (link). And Jason just being so embarrassed at the thought of ever talking about Bruce’s ass like that. Or my ‘Roy tries to flirt’ post (link). Like Bruce straight up leaves the room after reading it. Later they pass each other in the hall and this happens:

Bruce: We will never discuss what was read today ever again. Right?

Jason: I don’t even know what you’re talking about.

Bruce: Good.

Tim, walks by looking at his phone: Ha, thunder thighs.

Both Bruce and Jason go red and quickly walk a way.

No one says anything about it bc it is sorta awkward, but every once and while Tim and Steph can be seen giggling over a post.

(Also I hope this post doesn’t sound super conceited, I just linked posts so that y’all could see what I’m talking about.)