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#one of the most pervasive themes in their story; woven throughout it from the very beginning is happiness
lisbonsteresa · 1 year
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going unbelievably insane over this
#tm#i i'm like i'm short circuiting#the way - when they both carry so much pain and trauma with them; where they deal with death and the worst of people every day;#when they've lost so much; lost each other more than once -#one of the most pervasive themes in their story; woven throughout it from the very beginning is happiness#wanting to give whatever happiness they can to others -#comforting families and getting justice for victims and jane's gifts and pranks and lisbon's supportive leadership and understanding -#wanting to be happy themselves; and maybe most importantly wanting the other to be happy#like just off the top of my head (and i'm so tempted to go right back and rewatch and actually write down every one) there's so much of it#and it makes me crazy because of how it's expressed on both sides#lisbon doesn't SAY it much - most of the 'i want you to be happy' kind of lines are jane's - but she SHOWS it#from the day they met and she helped him up off the floor she's there in support of him;#her quiet comfort when he's low; her eye rolls and indulging grins when he's pulling a silly trick on the team;#her soft smiles in the background when someone genuinely thanks him and he doesn't know what to do#with the pain she has in her past; in growing up; with the tough skin she's wrapped herself in to get through what she has#she appreciates the quieter moments; the moments where her big bombastic partner lets down his guard and#stops putting on so much of a show and she can see the joy he can still find in the little things even with all the darkness he carries#it's jane that has the big loud moments - the confessions and the spoken words - where he states outright (and repeatedly)#how much he wants her to be happy; how important it is to him and that makes so much sense because that's who he is#(not always of course but more often than not and that's how he presents himself)#he's dramatic and he's bold and his grief is the same; this giant unavoidable yoke that's never going to completely fall off his shoulders#and idk there's just something so beautiful to me about this man with the more obvious burden of pain being so doggedly - and vocally -#committed to the happiness of this woman who tries to hide her pain and shies away from comfort more than she's able to accept it#and that through everything they've been together the ways both of them approach happiness and each other have also come together#where he can say something like this and not only can she be happy for him but she can know just how much of that is because of her#'for the first time in YOU know how long' and she does#they just make me crazy
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THE CHANGE
In December 2014 I published this. At this time of the year, caught up in the commercialism called “Xmas,” it seems appropriate to re-publish.
Recently, I went for a walk with my Partner, Nicole, in Bathurst. It was a beautiful day and the town is one of those places where there is an abundance of antique stores, craft shops, book stores and the like. As we walked along I spotted a sign in a window that said "Zen" and "Tai Chi." Curious what the "zen" reference involved, we entered the establishment.
Immediately we were assailed by the distinctive "odor" of New Age -- that sweet smell of candle perfume combined with cheap, saccharine Indian incense. The ubiquitous CD was playing in the background, permeating the store with a soothing rather mysterious ambient music, very "spacey." The store was filled with books, posters, crystals and assorted materials.
We spent some time looking at the books, a large assortment of topics ranging from angels to zen. Their selection of Buddhist books was fairly decent. A copy of Chogyam Trungpa's "Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism" was prominently displayed. I could not help flashing on the sly little smile that would have crossed Rinpoche's face had he been there and seen his book displayed in such an establishment.
Leafing through the books and looking at the titles, I was struck by the heavy emphasis on the notion that the vast majority of them were offering people something other than reality. The theme of altered, higher, better states of consciousness occurred repeatedly. I was surprised at the number of books dedicated to "angels." The recurrent thread throughout was that of personal entitlement, getting something, reaching or attaining something. All of it seemed demeaning in a way, a tacit acknowledgment that there was something missing, that an individual could find and possess by reading the book. I could not help noticing some of the customers browsing the titles, most appeared to be dissatisfied people desperately seeking some sort of answers
There was a bulletin board, covered with advertisements for dozens of "healers," "body workers" and various "schools" of "mystical arts." This was very much what Trungpa Rinpoche used to refer to as "the Spiritual Supermarket" a plethora of offerings appealing to our sense of spiritual poverty, offering relief in the form of spiritual commodities, "higher" states of consciousness, travel to higher realms, secrets of the universe. All of it appealing to the underlying diaspora of separateness and disconnectedness that is all pervasive in the human condition. The overriding theme in this spiritual supermarket was that there was something missing which could be provided by the products being sold. Nowhere was the notion evident that perhaps the real problem was that we had too much to begin with, and what we really needed was to let go. Everywhere the message was self centered, me, me, mine... achievement, gain, and ego reinforcement seemed all pervasive. I could not help but wonder how many people had come into such places in search of peace of mind. Someone discovering an offered technique which seemed appealing, purchasing the available books, tapes and materials, taking them all home to begin their new life of spirituality. They would find out in a short time after the fascination wore off that they were still deeply dissatisfied. One could imagine people going back to the supermarket, getting all the stuff for a different "modality" (they seem to like that word "modality") and starting the process again. I would imagine that this could become an endless occupation, jumping from cosmic consciousness to crystal healing to channeling to pyramidology to energy vibrations, to out-of-body experiences, to deja vu, to ESP, to Atlantis, to reincarnation to endless other "ologies" and "isms." Truly a never ending story.... always searching, trying to find something, anything, to fill the perceived need that something is missing.
The theme of selfishness appears to exist throughout the New Age trip, it is on the whole supported by middle class white people who are dissatisfied with their lives and uncomfortable in their relationships and surroundings. Invariably it is a money making scene, the books, crystals, bells, incense, oils, aromas, the tapes and CD's all sell like hotcakes.
We blithely in our search seek to appropriate the wisdom of ancient masters, we adopt the spirituality of other cultures as though they were ours for the taking. Our spiritual search has turned into spiritual conquest, we have become rapists, pillagers and looters of other cultural legacies. We are exercising our conquest psychology by stealing the cultural spiritual heritage of other cultures because we have destroyed our own. This goes on and on..... go into the new age book store and look around -- consider what has just been said here when you do.
We may buy a book on indigenous shamanism, we may gather the feathers, the drum, the medicine bag, the herbs, the pipe, all the "required" paraphernalia... and pretend to be a shaman. We may go to someone who claims to be such a person to learn from them. But after we've done all that, after we've read everything that can be read on the subject, acquired all the props, dressed ourselves in the native clothes, painted our faces -- when we look in the mirror -- we are still a white person pretending to be someone other than who we are. We are a clumsy approximation of a shaman at best. If we study an Asian tradition we can never become an Asian person, we can not undo our past and somehow recreate a cultural heritage. In short, we are who we are and need to become used to the idea that we do not have the right to steal the heritage of another culture to satisfy our unbridled greed and arrogance.
You see, what is really needed is not what is offered for sale, advertised for money and acquired through materialistic gain. What is needed, is to look at our motivations, to examine our present condition, to study our history to learn about how we function. We can do none of this if we are involved in looking outside ourselves for answers, if we are looking for "higher" states of consciousness. What is a "higher" state of consciousness? Higher that what? We are not even aware of our present state of mind other than that we are in pain, feel a lack and want to feel complete. We behave as if spoiled children who want their situation "fixed" and taken care of right away. We have not really looked at ourselves, we have not deeply examined the nature of our feelings, the root causes of those feelings, the social structure, language and culture that has produced our world views. In short we are so busy wanting to escape that we have not taken the time to understand the nature of our imprisonment. What sense does it make to trade one jail cell for another, when the prison walls are in reality our own forgotten creation? The real truth is that things are not as bad as we thought.... In fact, they are much worse! This is the real work of spirituality, this is the grist for the mill. The notion that we can somehow look into the mirror of our selves and see some magical vision of purity and light is mere wishful thinking, an attempt to escape from the pain of our collective social karma.
The real truth is that there is no escape, no way out. There are temporary, highly entertaining "trips" we can go on in an attempt at escape, but ultimately they all wind up back at the same place, we are left feeling the fundamental dissatisfactoriness that is all pervasive.
Until we are brave enough to face the truth, to recognize the dire nature of the problem, to see that we are not alone in feeling dissatisfaction we have no hope of coming to any sort of insight and wisdom. So long as we are totally wrapped up in planning our own personal escape, we can not see the real problem, we can not see that there are others who are just as stuck, in just as much pain as we are. There is no escape in the New Age, it is a mere product of the culture of materialism, a fantasy woven to cater to our neurotic obsession with ourselves and our personal angst. New Age is for those who have money, idle time and nothing better to do. Check it out -- How many poor people struggling to put food on their tables, living lives far more uncomfortable that our own are in the New Age stores seeking answers to their problems?
Are we not really looking to heal our selves in all of this? We are in a peculiar dilemma, we know that something is wrong but we are so absorbed in escaping from the pain that we do not take the time required to learn the true nature of the disease. Our materialistic psychology prevents us from seeing the big picture. We remain entranced with our individual problems and can not see beyond the immediate issue to the much wider picture of how we exist in a state of interbeing with all our sisters and brothers and all our fellow sentient beings.
Blessings Michael
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