#one of them is a dragon the other is a hologram. i dont think she would care

[angelicutz]

Weaponised autism

Fifi belongs to: @thefelinerouge

[camerawhoisalsocam]

Okay time to rip this crossover trailer to shreds. First the Grimm are no threat to the Justice League.

You cannot convince me that Superman will have any difficulty dealing with a Grim army. Add in Wonder Woman, Flash, and Jessica Cruz and it is basically over. Grimm arent even on Parademon level and those things are Apokolips cannon fodder that Batman can beat with ease. I know they see the Grimm are evolving to their weaknesses, but Kryptonite only works on Superman?

Wonder Woman is almost as strong as him and has almost no weaknesses, besides in her early days when you could beat her by tying up her hands but I dont think these grimm can consider that a great deal of strength. In Batman's contingenies for the JL, he needs to give Wonder Woman a "Phantom Opponent" aka fake construct of some sort like a hologram or a simulation to keep her locked in battle. No way any of these Grimm are doing that.

And as for Flash? Again, no Weaknesses besides plot stopping him! Unless those Grimm tap into the speed force no Grimm should be able to touch him.

I didnt see any yellow Grimm either so unless these things can somehow make Jess lose her will power they stand no chance. She has taken on way stronger armies, these glorified hell hounds dont stand a chance

I didnt mention them above so I'll speed run them cuz I still think the Grimm stand no chance. Cyborgs tech is way too immense and can adapt and upgrade constantly, so if the Grimm evolve so can he. Vixen and Black Canary are meta humans and can easily take on the Grimm cannon fodder, both hero's are around building level and are amazing at hand to hand combat. And as much as I hate how OP he is for being a rich guy with good tech

Batman can clear out these grimm. Not only does Batman have contingencies for every league member up above who can easily stomp these Grimm into black mist, Batmans no kill rule only applies to humanoids. Grimm are just animals on steroids, Batman is gonna be mercing them.

Like does the Leauge REALLY need team RWBY? Just call up the other members like Martian Manhunter, the 3-4 other Lanterns, Aquaman, Dr Fate, Shazam, the Hawks, Zatana, Constantine, the Teen Titans, or literally so many other people? If they say in the movie that the other members are across the world also dealing with this then thats fair. Not really cuz so many of these characters can wipe out these Grimm with ease! Grimm are weak! They aren't like something that can give the Teen Titans a run for their money!

My power scaling complaints really popped off huh? Okay whats next?

So they hype up Kilgores partner in crime who's supposed to be stronger and smarter. We get this shot which makes me think this is another simulation

But oh jeez I dunno who this potential secret villian is! Really it could be any RWBY villian who's a genius and has the color yellow as one of this primary colors. Oh! I know! Hazel! (pst its Watts)

Okay so Team RWBY got new powers to show off. Except Weiss. Yang shoots fire, Blake has staffs and shadow energy, and Ruby with her wooden Cresent Rose teleports.

And Weiss...

Yeah in both of her actions shots to show off her new abilities she's in her shitty V7 outfit and not using that stupid gun she's supposed to have in the cover.

One noticeable thing is that JNPR is just gone. They haven't been seen, mentioned, there's been no leaks on them, so I dont think they gonna appear. Im thankful that Renora Cyborg love triangle isnt gonna happen, but im also disappointed that the one good part of the first crossover, that being the Jess and Jaune duo, will not happen. You know I actually feel bad when I wanted to see Jaune on screen.

And im sorry but this is just choppy work when it comes to editing

This scene of the sea dragon comes out of the water and scares Blake, Ruby narrates and says fearfully "What is that?" And Blake as bland as she can says "They made a new Grimm". Im sorry but, if they made a new Grimm, why not show it when they say its new? Why show a Grimm from Volume 4? Just show the new Grimm!

Thank you! It actually looks cool! Except it shouldn't even be that scary! It looks like nothing out of the ordinary for team RWBY minus the Kryptonite, which shouldn't be an issue when you have WW, Flash, Jess, Cyborg, and everybody else who isnt weak to it.

And I hate that Jess just flies and shoot fire. I can tell this is as creative as its gonna get for her, the girl who's powers allow her to make ANYTHING!

All in all it's nonsensical. Its like putting Goku into My Hero Academia and expecting something to actually hurt him. The RWBY verse is not that strong, its just not. The JL who are arguable the strongest super hero team in all of comics, are not supposed to have trouble with these things. Now if it was the Teen Titans I'd believe it. But with the JL this is like Tuesday to them. They've fought the Legion of Doom, the forces of Apokolips, Gods new and old, whole Lantern Corps, demons and monsters, Meta Humans out the ass, and so much more. Hellhounds that can replicate their powers and weaknesses should be a cake walk. But somehow they're gonna nerf the hero's and make team RWBY the greatest hero's of all time! They're gonna save the Justice Leauge and the earth! They did everyone now clap! Clap and forget how those incompetent idiots doomed their own world!

I hate this. I hope this is the last RWBY project released. I feel bad for the animators who got forced to make this, I dont want it to flop so they dont suffer but FUCK do I hate this and want it to flop so bad it finally kills Rwby so I can stop seeing greenlight volume 10. The only hashtag more annoying is the restore the Snyderverse.

So yeah those are my thoughts. Cant wait to pirate this in October.

AND IF I SEE ANY SHIPPING WITH TEAM RWBY AND THE JL IM CALLING THE FEDS

[skrimbloz]

Heyooo :)

For the ask game: ❤️ and 🎨

Hiyaaaa!! :D

❤️ “What’s your favourite ship?”

I am a basic bitch and my favourite is lava, I mean they just work so WELL yknow? They have very different personalities but when put together are both idiots and I love them for it :3

However recently I’ve also been really liking Nya x Pixal so would say they’re equally #1 atm. It’s cute and there needs to be more content for it :)

🎨 “Do you have an Ninjago OC?”

Oh hooo hooooo I have started working on one alright - heres a sneaky peak at a rough design vv

Hes called Cade and is a dragons rising OC, kind of self-insert but also not really? I think he’d live in the crossroads :>

And also a mechanic!! Bc I literally obsess over any inventor/mechanic character from any peice of media ever

Does he have goggles AND a visor? Yes. But I think the visor would be like a hologram type thing and functions similar to the one in Tony Stark’s suit just less sophisticated bc my OC is not a billionare heh

No elemental power because I wanted to focus on the robot and mechanical themes in Ninjago rather than the Ninja and elemental stuff

There is a robot OC to go along with him called Jett but I only have a messy sketch of them together atm and I need to rework her design

Cade makes Jett as he lost all his family and freinds to the merge, he put traits of each of them into her so he still feels connected to them

I dont have much in terms of plotline for them other than I want there to be an arc where Cade has to accept that Jett has her own identity as she grows and becomes different to the traits he coded into her. It’s pretty bittersweet as he’s so proud of Jetts development but also misses his family so damn much rip

They both have shoes that double as roller-skates and Cade’s primary weapons are cool lil laser space-guns (not actually from space </3), while Jett has her laser guns build into her arms

Still need to figure out why they need that stuff, though Cade has a bit of a stealing habit so ig that’s enough of a reason when stealing from the wrong ppl heh

Also need to figure out If they’ll have any relevance to the Ninja team and how, they deffo wont ever be actually part of the team but it’d be nice for em to be there helping out temporarily

OK THATS ENOUGH OC DUMPING IM JUST RLLY INVESTED IN THEM

[magiccallie]

So I wrote down my thoughts as i watched through most of Season 2 of Scooby Doo Mystery Inc, and would like to share them, major spoilers below cut

Notes of Season 2 of Scooby Mystery Inc Shout out to this jock bully(?) who upon encountering a monster threatening a girl, did no hesitate to take on said monster, recuse said girl, and protect her as they escape Fred really needs to talk to someone about his new parents, who are now living in his house with him???? The house of the man who took him from them?????? Bronson might not be exactly straight looking at how he acted around the old mayor vs the new one, but *shrugs* Jock Strikes again, is this gunna be the twist? That''s a really douchy twist to pull a stunt like this Love how-I mean this is just the plan. He wanted girls too so he set up the same scenario. Is this extra set up by the parents to get him to trust them that is some next level douchery/ Scratch that on Bronson, omg Oh shit starting with a furry attack this is going to be a weird episode the gang's meta knowledge coupled with their sure willingness to go along with tropes and shit makes for great dialogue oh *oh* this is the episode where we get a peak to see just how big the picture is, love the lore building. knew this episode was gunna be good is that a demon? the furry isnt the mosnter??? ummm...weve been getting hints, are things getting real? so we've established motive for why someone whould want this plavce closed, but actually tangent but dont a lot of these monsters that they encounter seem like, weirdly powerful and mobile for costumes oh there's the furry that red aura is a...the things that happen around it are something deeper it seems. fascinating. is the red just representative of fire hallucinations? those seemed a bit real in effect for hallucinations... this guy, like my manager, needs to hire a little more staff occult magic book falls from the library to gang, and no one is as concerned as they should be nazi robot nazi robot get BJ on the phone Cassidy is the kinda retired PC that the players can strive to be Shit is getting real quick isnt it. Wait is that a seal. does Cassidy die? I know about a certain other death that makes me sad, but i dont want Cassidy to die too this episode is a rollercoaster of odd events weird hologram disguise for Paraclese is nifty Seeing the tragic fate of past groups is...well obviously sad oh dear, she does die huh its super low key, but it plays at the terrifying corrupting ordeal of the eldritchstuff really well with the lore notes bear troubles oh that badge...is that where they buried him? that's...kinda grim they have stealth suits and killer nazi robots? why have the evil guys not won yet? there is a bomb and they are not evacuating. There is a BOMB and they are not evacuating oh the bear can talk, how dare i assume that a bear is incapable of speech the bear is a twunk, scratch that, still a bear, is...he doing a christiphor walkin impersonation? aaand that’s enough for tonight, starting fresh later We're back, 13 more episodes oh so were getting into why i don’t like astrology Enigma machine omg. sorry, im a sucker for bits like that i wanna have long white hair too, i could rock that look How does Paraclese still have an accent after all these years? It is like destiny's Rasputin and just a stubborn superiority complex? something about visiting villains you can talk to in a prison is-ohp thats just all of um huh, cameo episode- err, anyways, it just paints a delightful scene about the relationship of the protags and antags and villainy as a whole in the world well this is horrific, throw some brownish red stuff around and it would be a silent hill scene update: still gay Thirteen more episodes and they have the disk...that does not bode well for what is going to happen the writer's willingness to reference other hannah barbara characters/shows is great oooo anticaptilism, BF is scoring points excuse me???? cyborg dragon girl???? he cant even call her by her name through most of the episode wtf??????? see now im at the point i gotta ask, is this a real ghost thing, or a fake ghost thing? ah i understand now youd think he would be more willing to explain to th-there we go so the animal companians are more suceptible, but they all have the risk Paraclese talking about these cattle is every gm talking about their homebrew monsters omg writers wth was that conclusion for the cattle im dying sk-ska zombies. ska. zombies. i can pick it up oh like the dancing plauge but worse, nifty these ghosts are rude boys, like, thats actually one of their names. And just caught that it the band name is skatastic oh they mentioned the dancing plauge, thank you wtf 101 the 'lighthearted' tone of this episode speaks dark tidings about the horrors to come aaah, hex girls, omg oh damn, update again: still hella gay bards duels be like, but for real loving this more and more young me is crazy about having the hex girls interact with a magicy thing like the disks, the rest of me is concerned at the events that are taking place scooby agrees, and his dog girl friend...well that was something Ricky displaying increasing regrets is not going to do good things for his lifeespectancy ohp then he drags in the other two well, i didnt see that coming for the criminal identity this little girl just had her mom ditch her for a stranger that robbed them, the heck i should probably eat dinner at some point, or like, anything at somepoint... calling it now, this guy is a circus performer/stunt driver, and if he is the random hired british poolboy it is a fake accent he's lureing women away with emotional intemacy. thats funny in itself, btu that they accept so readily still isnt normal oh and apparently kinks, lured with kinks so hes going to be the librarian dude then?? maybe? k, so at least i got that o.o O.O, well, that was quite the lead up and explanation food on plate, depresso in heart, ready to continue so they have to know right? like, this is a planned trap since Fred is 'the only one who knows where it is' doesnt explain Fred though, or how the fake acts "jeepies you found my scarf" oh there it is, they are after the info from him and its all fake, not some hell vision to show why he has to suceed Fred knew first? good on him plastic surgery, holy crap, next level villainy here holy shit they're all in puragoty thanks to the corrpution?????? Going back to early about the horrifying nature of all this. it is just so immensly sad watching them go through these bits. Cool, but sad. Velma demonstrating why thinking and understanding are not always good in eldritch horror games so he's got a guilt complex? heart felt talk with Mayor Dad awwww, poor Velma doesnt think she's pretty guessing...well id say the wife of Enrique but that seems too easy some how, stiill shes the only offered suspect beside Enrique himself thus far *deep sigh* i will never guess any culprit i bother to write down correctly would be a real move of the writers to Uzumaki the town two day deadline given, props to velma for having the foresight to model the disks in a digital format incase theyre lost mad max mystery machine sounds like a doom metal synth wave fusion song things are going too well... How many giant evil doors will this lair have? alchemy. of course. should have guessed. is...is this the episode where Marcie...oh no oh at least shes trying good on her, she's going down in style and flame... oh. ya know, even knowing it was coming and talking it up a sentence before, not a happy event this is a nifty dungeon last episode, hell of an opening/recap wh-what fghaseguk this went batshit didnt it. i wish i had the willingness to write at unhinged as these writers one more media that i am surpised didnt end in a poly relationship this climax is eerily familiar to the live action movies at times and then they all died and went to heaven aww Rickee and Cassidy *and* Velma and Marcie, aww, my heart will heart to think about that one for long, but awwwww Miskatonik University, or however the heck it is said. i thought it was going to be a one off joke but wasn't expecting that.

[theskyexists]

she-ra 4

the reason i stopped watching she-ra is the same reason i stopped watching the dragon prince.

the narrative doesn’t take the situation seriously. instead of leaning into the anguish of war and violence (atla, teen titans) - they make light of it. EVEN when the characters’ guardians are KILLED!!

when Angella died and they spent 2 seconds on Glimmer’s grief at the end of season 3 i was like......actually fuck this. HOW can i take any of these stakes seriously when they insist on brushing them off???

anyway just had to complain about that - especially because the start of the first ep of 4 is them joking AGAIN about something as grim as Glimmer now carrying all the responsibilities of her mother - who may i remind you IS DEAD

but catradora became canon apparently so now i have to struggle through

her aunt, her mother’s sister, is fuckin, joking about cakes, her friends are laughing at the joke. COME ON! how goddamn unrealistic and insensitive. EVEN if they wanna make a point of it - it’s silly! because the narrative PARTICIPATES in making light of the situation. if it was just the characters it would be less jarring

‘we’ll make sure this day is perfect’  WHAT? how could it EVER BE IF HER MOTHER IS FUCKING DEAD????????? AND THAT”S THE ONLY REASON SHE’S QUEEN????? ‘must be hard’ YEAH IT’S HARD - IN FACT IMPOSSIBLE. instead of pretending to be happy maybe you can show some genuine sensitivity. these people are so crazily emotionally underdeveloped my god. what age are they supposed to be? 16? 17? The problem that She-ra has (just like the dragon prince) is that there are no relevant adults. Oh sure there’s a Queen, and some Soldiers, and a Sorceress. But there isn’t a single relevant competent adult around who is concerned with running a bureaucracy or the emotional stability of children

I do like how Catra has overcome her fear of Hordak. but i think i remember being fuckin furious at her for almost destroying the whole world and hurting Scorpia and betraying Entrapta just to spite Adora. vaguely.

the rebellions problem is that they’re all extremely stupid himbos. like literally, in the whole story, only catra and shadowweaver have any smarts, while glimmer gains the ability to think during full moons on wednesdays. meanwhile everybodys is a slave to their emotions - which destroys any brain cells that shadowweaver or catra (or angella or anyone) might have managed. they could literally have killed hordak the entire time but just let him order them around because they’re so hot for acknowledgement

I’m glad Glimmer reflects my frustrations now hahahahaah

‘everyone is already acting like she doesn’t matter’  - yeah dudes, you fucking insensitive bastards

‘im supposed to take care of you glimmer’ - but unfortunately i have the emotional intelligence of a crab! FUCK!

this is another thing about this show that makes me groan. sappy quick resolutions of emotional turmoil through re-affirming the fuckin power of friendship in the first episode of the season.

also couldn’t Adora have done this she-ra stuff from the very beginning

that was badass.....miss glimmer’s other hair though. ok the emotions at that hologram and statue though...

the coolest part of she-ra for me is finding out more how the ancient systems all fit into Etheria and the She-Ras and Hordak Prime etc.

THIS IS A GOOD SPEECH. love this badass.

love Hordak getting put in his place. Love Catra realising she has power - love Hordak reaping what he sows. its unfortunate that she’s a shitty brat who JUST can’t get over her inferiority complex

if i could endlessly teleport i would do what glimmer does

also, glimmer was willing to fuckin murder catra before and she DEFINITELY will be now lol. love that for her.

why did they only introduce adora learning to transform her sword NOW ahahaha, theyve had SO MANY SCENES in which she doesnt have it and then suddenly does - and then its gone again

scorpia is the funniest and most likeable person in the whole show

they really suddenly can’t take five people on with she ra and fuckin huntara on their side??

i remember that little sadistic righteous twist in my stomach when Adora finally was like: FUCK!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! Catra!!!!!!! and the stupid idiot got it

FINALLY A GLANCE AT THE PEOPLE OF ETHERIA AGAIN! i love the party sequences in this!!! the people of etheria are so beautiful! nobody ever comments on the main characters all looking plain human in contrast....

‘and i fell for it!’  yeah cos you DUMB AS BRICKS ADORA

so first they quietly take out the guards....and then literally break open the door hahaahahahahaaha

‘we forgot the bots regenerate’ - yeah cos you DUMB AS BRICKS ADORA

i just dont understand why they insist on making the main characters so DUMB ahahahahaah

Adora and Catra are great at hitting where it hurts. the difference between them is that Catra KNOWS that she’s hurting Adora - she does it deliberately.

wow that could be some pretty angsty stuff constantly leaving her to struggle on the floor while painfully electrocuted. Catra has also moved to kill Adora straight up so many times. im sure she really wants to (but it would destroy her later). But now, Adora swept something at Catra that might have actually killed her. I get Catra though, I would’t want to get beaten by some blonde, blue-eyed, glowing golden kid who always gets to win and do better. this is truly the first time Adora has moved to kill Catra......

does flatterina not have parents who’d be like: uhhhhh maybe leave the soldiering for a couple more years?

catra truly burning all her bridges. hahaha. it’s so satisfying to see her use her anger and power to truly destroy herself - because of guilt!

no other villagers were like - HMMMMMMM this random new kid is here? weird..... i didnt see that coming either.

Adora doesn’t think about what Catra might have even been doing there - cos she’s DUMB AS BRICKS

the interesting thing about this show is that they’re setting up a dichotomy. they’re treating war like a high-stakes game because they have the good side adhere to an aesthetic of ....magic. they will not make the two sides equivalent in any way - which makes questions of morality moot. the show is purely an emotional drama. the horde is an army of brainwashed kids in an industrial wasteland - they fight with tech and guns. but the good guys cannot fight with an army or tech, they fight with cleverness and magic. they’re called the ‘rebellion’ - they HAVE to be underdogs because they have to follow the script of good - even though what’s really going on is war, not a rebellion. That’s why they have a single strike team that do ‘missions’. They are presented as FUNDAMENTALLY different - on the level of identity which they cannot change lest they destroy themselves - and in that way the good guys can never become the bad guys. it is ALMOST meta. think they’re gonna do something with that at one point. i hope

also Netossa has such a super cool design.

‘everyone knows you’re needed in bright moon’ - uh. really? i dont know. some random person i’ve never seen before demands you go to meetings. so? is that important? why?

spinerella can literally FLY???????? why has she been in the background this whole time??? hahahaha military inefficiency.

there was an explosion that ripped trees apart - but bo’s alive!! honesty why didn’t they try explosive suicide bots before. they’re very lucky he was still alive to heal

‘could they be tracking she-ra?’ WHAT? isn’t the obvious suggestion - A SPY???? they just assume that the general is right hahahahaa.

i love how double trouble is so meta.

actually, why wasn’t glimmer trained as a sorcerer anyway?

glimmer is upset about her growing magic plants but not her having magic ingredients

why do they present good strategic thinking (for once) as evil influence from shadowweaver

what a fuckin badass. honestly - glad that this show finally utilised glimmer’s extremely op powers like they should be. honestly, she’s much more powerful than She-Ra.

that bit with spinerella was so contrived jfc.

‘by using me as a decoy’ adora says, pissed off. uhhhh YOU went off on your own to get smushed by fuckin bots adora. Glimmer didn’t do that to you. she just used your stupidity.

glimmer really left catra to die. hahahahaa

i like adora best when she’s on her own and being a dork

they definitely managed to foreshadow that Light Hope was evil but im glad they picked up the thread now

am i seeing this wrong or did scorpia have two mums??? but also. where the fuck are they

lolololololol because everybodys dumb as bricks and emotionally volatile they’re incredibly easy to manipulate

‘i cant risk hitting flatterina’ pffft - ALL YOUR ARROWS ARE NON-LETHAL BO. ugh i cant deal with these contrived stakes

I LOVE THIS BADASS EFFICIENT HARDCORE GLIMMER

they’re really gonna spin it like this is a bad development? fuck off. finally some grit.

‘you took things way too far’ - but she got results! dumb as bricks adora

(this may seem harsh but adora is DUMB shes so fucking DUMB!!!! and she has many good qualities (such as an almost innate sense of morality) but goddamn. i guess its good to sometimes have a show about all around dumb characters. i mean, it’s not unrealistic per se, it’s just.....weird.)

the interesting thing about these characters is that you can SEE every single one of them struggling with cognitive dissonance. thats the big story of this show. they see the world a certain way - and then when something challenges that, they fight to the death to destroy or deny or ignore that new information - to everybody’s detriment. and they can’t back down because every step they’ve taken - would turn to sins they can’t live with. it’s interesting and its also a kind of conflict that‘s frustrating if not resolved at SOME point. thats why i love this season for its characters going off the rails. adora aiming to kill catra, catra destroying her last relationships, glimmer growing more and more militant.

they’re all acting like teens - that  is - highly volatile - unable to keep from provoking others or be provoked - but they ARE teens.

‘catra doesn’t care. she’ll hurt people to get her way (implied: EVEN people on her side)’ - we must remember that Scorpia was entirely fine with KILLING the trio (it was Catra that wasn’t at the time).

‘you’re a bad friend’ OH OUCH. Catra - who’s always been treated as a whipping girl by those in power - does the same to those she is in power over. But on some level she doesn’t WANT to be that. she’s just always always been rejected and take advantage of and lashed out at and abandoned by the people she considered important (shadowweaver ---- doing the same to catra that was done to her is so goddamn....it’s the story of this show. the simplicity and banality of damaging and hurting others and that carrying over to harm even more people - is the story of this show and it’s immeasurably frustrating and REALISTIC)

she still flinches at Hordak’s lashing out. but she imprints on him the exact lesson she’s trying to school herself in. If you don’t need anybody - you don’t want anyone - if nobody matters but the mission and winning - then you can’t be hurt. she wants to prove her worth - but she doesn’t realise that inherently means that she’s putting somebody in power over her - again and again and again.

mermista coming  in clutch with the braincells: there’s a spy! I love how this is played as completely implausible and just Mermista nonsense (who i love learning about) - while it’s so obviously true/

i actually love Adora when she’s being serious and heroic, or a huge dork. and she has the wit to RECOGNISE good ideas. but i just don’t understand why Adora is being big b about being used as a distraction. like....why?

i love that the underside of Mermista’s sneaker has a figure. but why the fuck is a common soldier with them (flatterina) and do they really think they can interrogate the whole castle filled with some shitty guards and...what - the guerilla troops they sometimes employ? where do they even live? ah in a tent city. ok

why is the GENERAL in front line combat WITHOUT SOLDIERS???? oh wait. glimmer did that too when she was general. lolololol

i understand why Adora doesn’t trust Shadowweaver and doesn’t want her around most of all - and Glimmer getting buddy buddy with her is hurtful. but...it’s not helpful to needle glimmer about it. but dismissing the guards around shadowweaver however? stupid of Glimmer. unnecessary. ‘what has she done but help us?’ - uhhhh she kidnapped you, corrupted your powers, almost wiped Adora’s mind. I wish Adora had summed up those things instead of leaving them implied.

so perfuma and mermista come across inconsistencies in the stories - but then. forget about it? i just...... UGGHGHGHGHGHGHGH. people really aren’t this dumb are they? they’re just NOT.

‘no more secrets and doing things without us’ - that was a good speech. but like, glimmer is right - she’s surrounded by INCOMPETENT IDIOTS lolololol. but good leadership is corralling idiots, Glimmer. not going off on your own. but she’s already planted the bait about the dining room.

‘we were the only ones who knew about the plan to take back dril’ ---- THEN WHY DID YOU INTERROGATE OTHER PEOPLE AHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHA

‘stop questioning my choices, stop whining about being a decoy’ YEAH FUCKIN HELL ADORA STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKING SHIT. IS THIS REALLY ‘TAKING CARE OF GLIMMER’????

‘all you do is question my authority, it’s exhausting.’ yeah god...it really is. adora needs to fucking BACK! OFF! but im loving these fights because it brings out the grievances. Adora is right to be worried about Glimmer no longer including her in her decisions. and she makes a good point that that’s bad. She makes a good point that Shadowweaver cannot be trusted. And Glimmer makes zero good points - except that it’s been hard for her and has garnered 0.1% understanding from the people around her. Oh they were working together. BUT those were definitely real grievances.

GLIMMER CAN ALREADY DO A CONTAINMENT SPELL LIKE THAT??? godDAMN. castapella completely flunked her responsibilities to Glimmer but shadowweaver did NOT.

hmmm so Solinius was....destroyed. but like, did the people die? like....the people? that’s the important bit isn’t it? i mean, they were under the sea right?

i suppose the problem i also have is that this show will NOT hurry up. normally i love filler stuff but ...the characters are too.....cheery. too flat. their quirks are fun and funny until they’re literally character flaws.

are the horde just literally attacking civilians? jezus. the war crimes. how did shadowweaver ever expect to trick Adora when she was released into the field?

‘you can’t just keep going off on your own!’ - SHE LITERALLY SAVED THE WHOLE FUCKING TOWN. SHE’S THE QUEEN! EVERYBODY SHOULD LISTEN TO HER! lolololol

the problem with Adora’s points is that everything about their dynamics are always so nebulous. why cant glimmer keep showing up to help out? WHY??? she’s the most capable fucking soldier in the field! she’s supposed to have full fucking authority! like, Adora isn’t in the right here. the problem is that her needling is only a symptom of her worries - which is that Glimmer doesn’t trust her any more. but the needling does NOTHING but make her seem like an idiot

i do love this trope reversal here - Seahawk deliberately damselling them to let the princesses save the boys? pffft

love catra getting the consequences for her actions regarding Scorpia. You can’t keep lashing out at people and expect them to stay my dear cat.....

oooohhh Glimmer.... you’re treading close to very hurtful territory. Blaming Adora for the Rebellion failing? for things she couldn’t do anything about? stupid.

really?? you’re really gonna fucking fight-resolution BLOCK ME? are you FUCKING kidding me? edging me for the whole GODDAMN SEASON??? and finally Adora cries at Glimmer going over the line????  fuckin I HATE the narrative decisions in this stupid show I FUCKING HATE THEM FUCK THESE WRITERS GOD FUKCING DAMMIT!!! this has been the whole GODDAMN SHOW!!!!!! ARGHGHGHGHGHGH

i’ve been waiting for a fucking resolution for Adora and Catra the whole! goddamn! SHOW! NOTHING! else matters! you do the exact same for glimmer and adora and now you let it fester again??? because of some no-stakes BULLSHIT? just give me the fucking godddamn PAYOFF for watching these kids be IDIOTS.

this fight on the boat is COOL and really wonderfully animated

really? Glimmer’s response to Adora being hurt and not wanting to be TOUCHED is to be angry herself? what a fucking IDIOT. god i can’t stand this. I CAN’T STAND IT

is this how people act? do they never take a moment to breathe and think and reflect and realise their priorities and take a step back and fucking apologise?

jezus FUCKING! CHRIST!

‘no matter what glimmer thinks of me’ oh that HURTED. oh damn. that’s so relatable. it’s a way to run, it’s a way to internalise the hurt and then prove the things that hurt wrong. the one that hurt you

I know Bo is supposed to be the emotionally intelligent one but he’s also too soft. He should go up to his friends individually and ask them the sharp questions. not - ‘communicate more positively’.

I just like Adora so much better when she’s alone. Her friendships’ positive moments are always so sappy or so....like over-exaggerated, the negative moments always so fucking annoying. Alone, Adora is generally driven, tragic, and cool. the problem is perhaps that i don’t care for the constant fucking drama

god i LOVE Mara so much - she’s so beautiful. and i LOVE learning more about the Old Ones. So they were trying to study Ehteria’s magic.... but then Bright Moon and the princesses were already here. The Magic-Like systems of the Old Ones are pure tech.

wow! even Mara’s transformation is way cooler.

so why was the first one’s tech (she ra) responsive to the magic? why does Raz know about She-Ra? when she ra is first ones tech????

WAIT ONE SECOND. She-Ra is ‘magic’ ??? it’s the SWORD that’s the first one’s tech! She-Ra is Etheria’s magic ! but how if the First Ones chose Mara. Did they steal She-Ra from Etheria?

so what im getting is that. the Old Ones colonised Etheria. Etheria has magic, and when Mara was chosen they made that girl an elite soldier - giving her a first one’s tech sword so she could ‘control’ Etheria’s magic. Then Mara was told to study the magic of Etheria - the ship implying that she’d not been on the planet before. then they created a Heart of Etheria project - which will probably turn the magic into a weapon. this was going to be used against Hordak Prime, im sure. I mean, Mara saved Etheria, but she did doom the rest of the universe to...extinction.... like, judging from Hordak’s strategy, Hordak Prime just literally exterminates planets and repopulates them with his clones....

But why would the planet choose a girl from amongst the colonisers - twice?

OOOHHH that anguished scream. i love anguished screams

why dont they put fucking safety belts in these ships. it’s not like the ship didn’t survive. only Mara got splatted (i guess)

also i love Mara. but damn Adora just got some more shit on her plate. why the fuck was she pushed through a portal again? for a She-Ra chain reaction?

I love madame Raz.

So they didn’t explicitly use it against Hordak Prime. and it wouldn’t have destroyed Etheria back then but it will now...

guh this showmakes it so hard to enjoy catra’s pain.

well they did finally have a good talk about it. I have to say, Glimmer is making good strategic sense - it’s just that this show only rewards harebrained schemes

Catra having a crazy panic attack cos she can’t find Scorpia and she’s completely lost and she knows its her fault. kinda love that for her. my heart

my dear Glimmer, theres a difference between absence of trust and absence of agreement.

they’re bringing king micah back just when angella is dead? oh fuckin lol

the horde....exiled micah? they exiled Micah instead of killing him???

why do they ALWAYS interrupt important conversations? i hate that shit. it’s cheap. it’s unsatisfying.

now THIS is what im here for - that unstoppable WILL!! john gonzalez is right - we watch stories for characters overcomign obstacles. writing, is creating the obstacle course. .....what does that say about me and my life....hmmm.

‘light hope told me everything i need to know’ - uhhh no she didn’t. she didn’t tell you how to harness the energy at all. ugh

how the fuck did double trouble escape. seems to me that they didn’t actually. they were let go....

it’s always so stupid when people try to tell other people: oh no you’ve got no plan - this is too risky! when that’s NEVER a problem

Glimmer is going to activate the weapon just in time for Hordak Prime to use it. And naturally she misses the return of her dad. fuck this

they’re gonna have Hordak and Catra fight? hmm

Double Trouble is right - this IS good for her - and it IS Catra - except for Shadowweaver’s case - she was an abusive bitch

I love Scorpia’s new cool fight music and also glowy eyes

is glimmer going to throw herself into lava??

the unfortunate thing is that Hordak Prime is right on the doorstep and he took over the whole universe or whatever. so they could probably have used that weapon. i mean the Old Ones must have seen something coming. there must be a reason they’re all GONE maybe????

why did Adora assume that all those stars would be destroyed?

THE ANIMATION ON THAT FINAL STUFF WAS INCREDIBLE AND EPIC

how the fukc are they going to beat Horde Prime lolololol.

i guess Glimmer really shouldn’t have done that. but at least she was in time to bond with Catra.

[goddamnmuses-a]

Dan Watches: Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back

I’ve done this for these Episodes so far:  Episode I Episode II Episode III Episode IV So here’s the one for Episode V:

Gotta love Remote probes. 

Star Wars has the best ships. 

Tauntuns make weird ass noises. 

How do those binocs work, they have one eye hole on the one side but when he looks through them it’s two.. magic.

Damn Luke you just got jumped. The force is with you, how’d you let that happen?

Engineer Chewie.. I approve. 

Was that a white C3PO

Okay so Han is leaving to pay off his bounty which is fair and Leia is like PFFT FUCK YOU! STAY! Alright lady, chill, maybe just let him go pay off his bounty and then ask him to come back when he has? 

Also lbh he’s only leaving because he’s a big sap and in love with Leia but she’s not giving any love his way. 

Han just covering C3PO′s mouth is glorious.

Also sometimes i question if its PO or P0 but im pretty sure it’s PO.

Tauntans are kinda cute. 

Why does it hang Luke? Like... what? 

Truly a scary yeti thing, i cant remember the name... Wampa?

Force pulling the lightsaber, iconic. 

First time a lightsabers been shown to cauterize the wound? I think? Maybe?

Chewie being upset about Han not coming back truly is the greatest sad moment. 

More focus should be on bro friendships than love interests. 

Ben doesnt even doubt for a second that Lukes gonna die. He’s just like “Luke, I know you’re cold but you’re gonna go to Degobah and you’re gonna meet Yoda and he’s gonna be a crazy little guy but its gonna be sweet.”

Also “The Jedi master who instructed me” makes it sound like Obiwan is Yoda’s padawan but i guess he’s just referring to how Yoda just instructs all the younglings and jedi and stuff. 

Why the fuck did that Tauntaun just die? 

Ew guts. 

Man these speeders bring me back to the games and taking down the walkers and nostalgia goodness. 

Good Job Rogue 2. The true hero of Star Wars. 

Cool Bacta tank.

Chewbacca looks good. Like the effects on how he looks for the time, impressive. 

Uh oh. I know this scene. 

Incest, it’s in all your favourite media, Game of thrones? Check. Star Wars? Check. Back to the Future? Pretty much check. 

Luke looks so happy he made out with his sister. 

Das one big boi ship. 

Darth vader doesnt even need to look at the camera to be intimidating. 

The fact they explain why they don’t just bombard Hoth is brilliant.

Luke still has that boner from kissing Leia. 

Man the cable scenes good stuff. 

Why dont the walkers just shoot at the generator instead of walking all the way over to it? 

It’s crazy how much of this film is Hoth. 

There goes the power generator.

Did C3PO just do a turn to camera?

Hoth has like 3 moons just casually no biggy. 

I like that R2 basically texts Luke. 

Asteroids never seem as deadly as people make them out to be. 

I kind of want Degobah to be one of the planets you go to in Fallen Order 2. More so for what cool lifeforms could be there and the cool enviroment than to actually see Yoda. 

Good thing R2 can swim. 

Leia asking to be let go of.. this whole things a bit.. yikes. 

Cool a Snake. 

YAY YODA

That Ration box looks interesting, you can actually buy it at Galaxies Edge which is insane.

Yoda is such a little shit. 

I keep doing this thing where i watch and then go “Oh shit I haven’t made a comment in a while” guess that just shows that its good. 

Holy shit that hologram dude just died. 

WHAT IS THY BIDDING MY MASTER. It’s a disaster skywalker we’re after! .. Anyone? Just me? okay. 

You know what if you didn’t get wtf that last this was.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij4w7ChpuaM

“Was I any different when you taught me?” Well.. yeah yeah you were Obiwan. .. Unless we need a prequel to the prequels. 

He’s been training Jedi for 800 years? Does that check out? 

That bat thing is cursed. 

Mynocks can gtfo with their gaping anus mouth.

I think Yoda helps cause the vision in the cave. 

Casual Komodo Dragon. 

Bossk you sexy son of a gun. 

I played Star Wars Galaxies ages ago as a Trandoshan Jedi. 

Yo Mark Hamill is sexy. No homo. 

Do or Do not there is no try. Cool line.. not a very good lesson to teach kids. 

Yoda is the best. 

Being an Imperial is dangerous you never get fired, just killed. 

How did nobody notice the Falcon get there? 

I love that they just turned C3PO off. 

Also how come Han and Leia haven’t questioned whether Luke is okay or not at all. 

Lando could be a system if he wanted to be, don’t hold him back. 

Casual look into the future, shame no Jedi saw Order 66 coming. Well i’m sure some did but like.. not enough to do shit about it. 

Cloud City is pretty looking. 

Landos the best. 

Donald Glover was such good casting for young Lando. 

Not even other C3 units like C3PO

RIP C3PO

These Ugnauts are little shits. 

Okay I can accept a lot but how the fuck did Vader just block blaster fire with his hand, c’mon. 

Lando’s rude but tbf i get why he did it.

Un-RIP C3PO

How come he’s just in Chewie’s cell?  I know theres a comic where Vader recognises C3PO but.. why put his parts with Chewie? 

Torture in Star Wars is always electricity. 

Awwwh Han and Leia moment. I know. 

C3PO is actually the worst. 

Freezing in Carbonite is such a cool idea. 

I forgot they only freeze Han because they want to freeze Luke. 

How did Luke get onto Cloud City with no issue?

Lobots cool. 

Leia just stole Ackbar’s line!

I love that Jedi just seem to be able to feel the force and how strong people are with it I want a scene where a jedi is like “OH SHIT YOU GOTTA FUCK TON OF FORCE!”

Chewie. Let him go you eejit.

R2 just casually rolling around and bumps into them. 

Holy shit that Vader glide, majestic. 

WTF was that jump

Luke just knocked Vader down and i cant believe that. 

Why does this place look like the Death Star. 

Man Leia is hot. 

That surprise Darth Vader attack

We’re at the location of the reveal. 

Man Vaders not as good at fighting as any other Star Wars media makes him seem. 

The reveal! 

Fun fact: He doesn’t say “Luke, I am your father” 

Vader is just like “Oh ffs” when Luke falls. 

Anddd here we see that Leia also has the force. 

Man Luke looks like shit. 

I like that Vader actually cares about Luke and it’s shown. 

So that was a pretty good film, it’s not a complete story which is always bold for a sequel to do because you never 

[hedgewolf-hunters]

Diamond hunt

Bane: This is one of my recent ventures only about a year old. Here we go.

Deep in the ancient Castle Blackstone on the fourth floor in the old library a small figure flies around quickly. A baby chao with dragon like wings, horns and two small fangs is holding a scroll in its nub like hands as it searches the aisles of each book case. Lined with more knowledge of this world and others, magic of both light and dark, and countless tellings of history, plays, stories, legends and more. The Chao spots its target and flies full force at them. He raises the scroll in a sword stroke type manner and swings downward. The target in question is a five foot tall crimson furred wolf with two abnormally long hedgehog spines on his back, two quills curled like rams horns, two like dragon horns, and the two center quills being normal. They have a white stripe down their top center quill and a black stripe down each of their ram quills. They are wearing open legged jeans and steel hiking boots with fingerless steel plated leather gloves. A large double helix claymore sword stands next to them leaning on the table the Hedgewolf is resting their legs on. He is holding a book in one hand and blocks the incoming scroll with one of his own.

"Heh sorry little Toth but you need to be quicker than that if you want to land a hit on me." The Hedgewolf says. He closes the book and turns to the baby chao, grinning as he looks at the chao with his sky blue eyes, a dark blue stripe under each eye. Toth the baby chao says two quick chao's and than pulls the scroll away to swing again. The Hedgewolf chuckles blocking the swings at the last possible second playing with Toth. They both are smiling as they play fight through the library aisles.

A ringing from the Hedgewolf pocket gets his attention long enough for Toth to land a hit.

"Ow! Heh ok ok you win little one." The Hedgewolf chuckles putting up a hand to strop the swatting. Toth chao's happily and successfully before tucking the scroll into a cubby hole in the book case next to them and flying to sit on top of the Hedgewolf head. The headgewolf smiles as he reaches up and pets Toth as he fishes a crystal from out of his pocket. He taps it with his thumb twice and it hovers over his palm prodcing a hologram as it spins.

"Hey you reached Bane Darkos, what can i do for you?" Bane asks as the hologram reveals a mole with glasses on.

"Ah yes, hello my name is Oswald i have contacted you through your bounty hunter contacts here in Gradius." The mole Oswald says.

"Whats the job then?" Bane asks picking up the yawning Torh from his head and walking out of the aisle into the main floor of the library. He carries Toth out of the library and down to the kitchen.

"Their has been a recent string of robberies in many of my jewlery shops. I have contacted the police but they have yet to even fully begin an investigation. I heard you do odd jobs as a bounty hunter and was wondering if you would be so kind as to come and capture the theif." Oswald explains as Bane walks down eight flights of stairs.

Setting Toth down on a cushion bed that Bane placed all over the castle for him, he goes and begins rummaging through the fridge for a drink.

"Well considering Gradius is known to have to odd robbery every now and then thanks to your cities main professions. No offense of course." Bane says grabbing a non alcoholic malt liquor and pops the top off with his thumb.

"Well that is the issue, this past two weeks it has only been my shop and my diamond mine that have been targeted." Oswald says as Bane takes a drink.

"Well, that is rather interesting. But why not hire a local hunter than, you do know my prices for being hired personally is steeper than any local you could find." Bane says taking another drink.

"You come more recommended. Not to mention no one will take the job because the theif has a tendency to avoid almost all security measures they put into place. Almost as if they were a ghost. Please Mr Bane, im losing buisness, ive been robbed six times and cant afford to many more." Oswald says. Bane thinks for a second than sighs putting down the empty bottle.

"Wire the pre determined amount of money to my account on the hunters list. Ill be there in a few hours." Bane says tapping the stone to cut the connection. He pockets the stone and picks up Toth. Walking out the door of the castle he whistles and the doors shut and a lock appears over the door. He leans forward and his spines extend and grow out. Wings begin to sprout as the spine unfold from the bottom out.

"Time for a little flight Toth. Hold on tight." He whsipers to the dozing chao. Toth snuggles into the warm chest fur and Banes hand. He smiles and lifts off before turning east to the town and his family grill.

Two hours later after Bane has dropped Toth off with his family he finally sees the mountains of Gradius. He sighs in relief rolling his shoulders.

"You know if you cant fly for this long without aches you won't make it past your prime." A feminine voice says to Bane. He grunts as he passes over the highest peak.

"If you'd just ask for lessons I would gladly show you how to keep loose while flying." She says. He grumbles as he angles down towards the city coming into view.

"Are you still mad about me hitting on that minx back in Primous?" The voice asks.

"Well no shit Drain. You know that anything you do while in control i count as me doing as well. Jeez i know your hornier than a horned toad but keep your robe on when we switch." Bane growls out before landing with a loud crash.

"Fine lover boy. I'll keep your pants on next time. Alright keep me posted if you need any powerups." Drain says before the noise in Bane's head goes silent. He stands up and dusts himself off from the impact debris. While the cloud still covers him he extends his hand downward and grips at the air. Slowly a light grows from his palm and the helix blade he had left at the library appeared in his hand along with a holster across his back. His wings fold in as he climbs from the crater with the blade in its holster.

"Ah Mr. Bane! So glad you could join us on such short notice." Oswald says from the back of a crowd of echidnas, porcupines, moles, groundhogs and insectoids. The short greying mole slowly forces his way through the crowd to stand in front of bane. He moves his glasses to dissolve any glare from the sun as he looks up at the three foot taller hedgewolf.

"Point me to the scene and I'll set up." Bane says rotating his shoulders and neck. Oswald nods and walks back through the crowd that quickly seperates for Bane.

Three hours later the sun has set the moon was full and Bane sits atop a building over looking the jewelry shop. The shop has been robbed everyday after the mine. The mine was robbed the day before so Bane decided to watch the shop.

"Hyleia you sensing anything?" He asks. The blade shimmers slightly and a pulsating rainbow orb appears.

"Not yet my young king. But the night has only just begun." A new feminie voice says from the orb.

"Ugh stop with the King stuff. I told you when i became your wielder i had no intention of ever taking the throne. Not as a monarch or figure head." Bane says through gritted teeth.

"Can you blame me Bane? You remind me so much of King Sickle. He had no machinations of becoming a ruler with his mate. But look how that turned out eh." She says with a slight giggle to her voice. A second giggle breaks in to the conversation.

"Oh thats one story you will have to tell me in detail Hyleia." Drain says

"Hey have your girl talk some other time please. We got company." Bane says looking down at the shop. Four cloaked figures walk up to the shop window. Bane watches as they look around and pull out a gemstone each. He grins and sits up placing his feet on the ledge and holding it with one hand to balance himself. He watches as the four of them walk through the wall.

"Ahh so high grade spells like that is how the manged to get through the others traps." Bane says taking a deep breath and closing his eyes.

"Drain we need to change my sight. Chaos energy tracking would be prefered." Bane says. He feels the inside of his skull burn some as his sight is changed.

"Ok kiddo give it a try now." Drain says as she stops the burning sensation in his head. Opening his eyes Bane looks back down at the shop. He sees the four trails of the figures entering the shop and that they are still rummaging around inside. Grinning Bane jumps up and lands on a closer building. Waiting for twenty minutes Bane watches as they finally leave the shop with what seems to be quite a haul.

"Finally i was getting impatient." Bane grumbles to himself cocking his head to size the four of them up. The four of them tuck the stones away in their cloaks as they keep the bags out in the open. They quickly start running off to the outskirts of the city where abandoned buildings line every other street. Bane keeps at least three buildings between them so they dont spot him as he follows their trail.

They stop at the farthest edge of town and head into what looks like a condemned house. Signs of demolition and to stand clear litter the lawn and fence surrounding it. The four theives check to make sure they werent followed and head inside the same why they broke into the shop.

"Drain reset vision. I got our targets inside an abandoned building with walls of spells leaking energy." Bane says closing his eyes once more. He feels a quick burning sensation and when he opens his eyes the world is back to as it should be. Bane leaps from the roof he was mounted on and lands on the street across from the supposedly abandoned house leaving a sizable crack in the concrete. He walks towards the house gripping Hyleia's pommel, he sniffs and smells the gunpowder of the bombs lining the inside of the fence. He chuckles as he hops over the fence to avoid triggering the bombs.

"These guys where smat enough to set of early warning systems in case they were ever followed. Hyleia could you be a dear and scout the inside? I doubt that its only four in their now." Bane whispers before pulling the sword from his back and pressing it gently flat against the door. A quick shimmer from the sword and the outside of the house pulses. Bane closes his eyes one more time to see what Hyleia sees.

Inside the house the house the second story is barren and in no way livable. The first floor on the other hand is in fairly well condition. A functional living room and dining room along with chairs a brand new eighty five inch screen and a small trail from a hole in one of the fours bags. Following it to the basement Bane finds where they are hiding most of the time. Eight creatures in total three wolves, a fox, two cats and two hawks.

"Well this is quite a haul tonight Trigger. You guys spot anyone at the scene this time?" The female Hawk asks. A grey timberwolf shakes his head.

"Its odd really. The old fart has been hiring bounty hunters for security for the last six days. But tonight, not a soul. The security measures were in place as usual but no one to try and fight or capture us inside this time." The grey wolf says.

"That is odd but not unwelcome." The male hawk says. The female nods and points to an empty corner.

"Stack todays loot there and ill start counting it once i get some food in me." The female hawk says. Bane smirks as he opens his eyes and takes Hyleia off the door. He knocks as hard as possible to make sure they can hear him down in the basment.

"Well their goes the element of surprise." Drain says.

"Oh dont act like you wanted to do this like an assassin. You'd have burst through every trap they set here to make your presence known." Bane whispers.

"You...have a fair point actually. Glad to see you do like listening to my stories when you nap." Drain says. Bane snorts as he holds Hyleia's gemstone as he waits for an answer.

"You know they're probably chewing each other out and gathering guns right?" Drain says

"Probably. But then again what good would they do if i have control of the gun powder." Bane says. Both girls in his head chuckle as he listens and hears them trying to tiptoe up the stairs and silently load their weapons. Bane whistles and the blue marks under his eyes glow quickly.

"You guys are making me wait way to long for this. Ive got a baby to get back to by day break. So you have two options here guys. Turn yourselves into me and you'll be asleep peacefully for the next ten hours. Or fight and have me put you all into a week long coma. Your choice." Bane says out loud once he hears all eight of them arguing on the other side.

"You forgot the third choice." The grey wolf says. Bane sighs and lifts Hyleia forehand position and slices through the door. As oon as the door falls Bane steps through as all eight take aim and pull the triggers. Bane gives them a minute as they all try to fire on him.

"You kids done playing with your toys?" Bane asks. The wolves growl and jump at Bane in frustration. He looks un impressed as he side steps them at the last second sending one out into the yard to roll in the grss and stop centimeters from the bomb trap. The other two crash into the door frame and whine holding their bleeding muzzles. Bane moves Hyleia in single motion around his body blocking a stab with a knife to his back. Two more try to get him with the butts of their unusable guns. He uses his arm to block the butts and pushes the attackers back. With his reflexes he reaches for the fox that tried getting him in the back again aiming for a sweet spot. And a green aura quickly flows from the fox into Bane. He slams the foxes head into a wall before tossing the unconscious fox into the living room. Bane jumps back some as a cross bow bolt flies past his stomach. He glances at the male hawk holding the cross bow.

"Smart little birdie." Bane whsipers as he blocks another with Hyleia and pushes off towards the hawk. He catches a thrid bolt an inch from his eye as he goes over and behind the hawk and uses the flat of the blade to knock the wind from him and into a wall. Bane rushes again at the downed hawk and holds his head in his palm. Again the green energy flows from the hawk to Bane before he tosses him onto the fox in the living room. The two wolves with bleeding noses rush Bane and onslaught him with punches and kicks. He sheaths Hyleia with one hand and blocks some of their blows with his other. Once sheathed he closes his fists and pushes the wolves off of him. He growls as he pushes towards them both. Getting down on all fours Bane shifts his forward momentum to his legs and does an improvised axe kick. The wolves seperate as Bane leaves two large holes where the wolves were. They both manage to block a fist from Bane but are unable to stop him from pushing them into each other. Their skulls meet and Bane palms both of their heads quickly draining them of energy. He tosses them onto the pile.

"Four down and four to go!" Bane exclaims into the house. A throwing star flies past Banes eye just missing it. He glances in the direction to finally see one of the cats getting in on the fight. Bane growls and sidesteps as the third wolf tries again to sneak attack Bane. This time though Bane doesnt let him just fly off again. Bane knees the wolf in the gut to halt the forward momentum and than in almost the same motion round house kicks the wolf at the cat who cant jump away in time and gets knocked to the floor. Before they can react Bane pounces on them and slams their heads into the floor as he drains their energy. He adds them to the pile as well.

"Alright ladies this is your last chance. Give up peacefully and youll only be out for a couple of hours." Bane says down into the basement. He hears them talk it over for a couple of minutes. Than nothing as they start coming up the stairs.

Bane waits patiently as he keeps his eyes to the basement opening. Slowly but surely the two females come out of the basment. Ones wearing an over coat as well as the other. They have their hands up in surrender as they approach Bane. Then the cat begins to run for the door. Bane flings Hyleia at the door completly blocking the exit as the hawk tries to grab Bane around the throat and activate something under her coat.

"You know I was raised to give ladies the right to choose and to be chivalrous. But i was also taught that if they do not accept these traits than I should just not try to push it or in this case." Bane says reaching over his shoulder and grabbing the hawks head.

"Do what needs to be done. Being honest here, i really, REALLY, hate to harm women, even if they are trying to kill me so someone can escape." Bane says as the hawk passes out in his hand and he adds her to the pile. He cracks his neck and walks towards the cat who is on the floor cowering. Bane touches her head with a finger and soon she is passed out on the floor. Reaching in his pocket Bane sighs and leans against the wall. He pulls out a crystal amd double taps it to start it up. A dog in a police officer uniform appears on the hologram.

"Hey, i got eight unconscious here that need a pick up. Bring cuffs and contact Mr Oswald, tell him i found his stolen goods." Bane says to the officer who salutes before hanging up. Bane pulls Hyleia from the doorway and puts her back in the sheath.

Bane: Suffice it to say that job was actually pretty easy. Than again I am not so well known to be outside the forest so its understandable why that bunch had no idea who i was. But i got paid a little bonus. Something i plain to hold on to till the moments right. For anyone curious what it is ask in DM. Im not such an idiot to reveal what it is to the public in the open. But i hope you enjoyed the adventure. Now im off to help build a book fort.

[bloojayoolie]

Af, Back to the Future, and Computers: I lyrangalis ow prokopetz Random Headeanon:That Federation vessels in Star Wek seem to anefact of the selevision serial format. Rather, r's because the Federation as a cuiture are a bunch of deranged hyper-neophiles, toaling around in ships packed ful of beyond-cutting-edge tech they con't really understand Encless rustraing r you have to ngt them, because they can pus an eftectvely unamned ณn ber or busn space-mage countermeasures out of their arses but they're as ely as not to give themselves a lethal tve-cimensional wedgie n he prooess Al those rampant holograms and warp core marunctions and ncioents? That doesnt actuaty happen to the rais ike that anyone etse. ส3 iterally just Federation vessels nat go And they do so ona airty regular basis So to everyone elbe in the galaxy, all humans are basically Doc Brown prokopetz ens who have seen the Back to the Future movies iterally dont realse that Doc Brown is meant to be funey. They're just ike yes, that is exactly what at human sclentists are lke in my experience THE ONLY REASON SOOTTY IS CHIEF ENGINEER INSTEAD OF SOMEONE BECAUSE EVERYONE FROM THOSE SPECIES TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE E ROOM AND RAN AAY vuican scienoe academy: why do you need another warp core humans were going to plug two of them bogetmer and see if we go twice as a last time we gave you a warp core you threw t into a sun to see if the sun eould go twice as fast humans hanana yean humans it did ho humans it exploded twice as fast love this. Especially because of now wel it plays wn my headcanon that the Federation does so mach better against the Borg than anyone ebe because beating the Boig with mirary tactics is nigh-impossbie, but beating tem with ล2cky superscence shenangns works as long as they're anoue wacky. Reminos me of the thing I wrote a while back about Humans in hign tantasy realms they're basicaly Team Fuck iR Hold My Beer1 Gat This Impulsve, passionate to a fauit, the social structures they build 1o try and reguiate this hetheadedness ironicaly creanes even greater levels of sheer bul headedness Even theit cooler heads take acien in months or weeks All their great heroes of the past were impossibly rash by galactic standards Humans Just Go with It, which is their grear fnlaw but also their grearest strength ingon okay we dont get t vuican science academyget whar ngons: you vakcans are a bunch of stufy prisses but youre also tougher tranger, and smarter than humans in every single way dingons: wny do you let them run your federation vican scoence academy: this is a species where t yeu give them bwo warp cores they dont do experiments on one aro save me r Tor if The first one ican science academy: this is a species where yeu give them bwo warp core6. they ask tv a 1hid one. mmediately plug anthree nto each other, punch a hole into an altemate universe where humans subscribe to an even mare destnuctive ideological system, font everyone in it because they re ofended by that, steal meir warp cores plug those together, punch their way back here, then try to turn a nearby sun into a torus because thatwas what ther nital scienatic experiment was for and they diont want to waste a trip ican scoence academy: they did hat last week we have the wite-up right here its geting pubished in about six hundred scienific journais across to hundred diferent discipines because otf how many estabiished theories their ndculous tthe expedion has just cated ino question also they d burn that sun into a torus, and no one achualty knows haw vuican sdence academy: this is why we let them do whatever the hel they ngon can we be a part of your tederaion Come to think ot Imean. Look at the rst human warp drve" thing in the movie. That was Not howVulcans would have done it you know what the best evidence for this is? Deep Space 9almost never broke down, minor maftunctiong that irnitated OBrien to hel and back sure b atmost none ot the truty weind she hat betell voyager and al the starshps Enterprise wrat was the ล"dest matunnon DS9 ever had?the senior staf getting trapped as holosuite characters in Our Man Base, and that was because θ numan decided topst dump the transponer buter more stations coe memory and hope everying wouis work out semehoK Wich is a bit ihe swapping your computer's hand drive out for a memory card trom a PlayStation 2 and expecting to be able to play a game af Spyto the Dragon wth your eyboard and mouse ou knaw what Im not done with this post let's talk about the Pegasus. the USS Fuckng Pegasus, testhed for the fest Stareet cloaking device. here we have a hananuil af humans working in searet to develap a dloaking device in vielaion of a treary with the Romulans theyre playing catchup trying to develop a technology other species have had for a cenhury and what do they do? do they decide to 0°cate a Romuun coakingdevice precisely, jst see at t while we're builaing our very first one of these nings, just to find out if this s passible, lets see if we can mave hs in phase us out of normal space so we can fy threugh pianets white we're invisible ut why saia the one vuican in the room Decause that would fueking rule said he humans igh-tving each other and siamming cans of 24-cenbury Ried Bul thene must be ie twenty dfferent counseling groups for non-human engineering students at Starfeet Academy and every week in every single one of them someone walks in and starts up wth a story ike our assignment was 1o repair a phaser eitier and y one haman classmate buit a chronometrio- x toaster that toast MacGuyver" is the equivalent of Vuican vintage human hormor television. roachpatral during onentaton at hran colege. wkas are presented with a Bt of what is ue word tick, for," we innocent young vucans want 10 know. "surety. modifers yeah, yourd thnk so say the weary, jaded vulcan psoessors your'd realy there is a phrase in lcan for the particuler moment you understand what the weed tuck'is for This is why the Pederation is the only organsation to ever stand a chance The Borg can adapt to the trillant mitary strategies of the Romulan Star Empine, the Kisgons and even the cold logical inberectual prowess of the The Barg werent prepared for a starship captain to lure them into his Srs no detective holo-novel and then machine gun them to dear with a weapon made out af hard light

[thenixkat]

Animorphs notes: Alternamorphs 2

Alternamorphs 2

Intro by Rachel

In the same vein as the intro to the last one, but given nothing came of it b4 I’m not getting my hopes up

Wow you are an asshole from the first few lines

You have a mom and dad

Are you David? Great, we’re playing the fuckboi

The morphing cube was inside a cinderblock

Why does Ax call it the blue box, it has a proper name

Visser 3 threatens to murder your dad

Why is V isser 3 calling it a blue box, he knows what its fucking called

Also just fucking fullscale fight in the house

Choice give the box to the aggressive aliens

Your family is taken by the yeerks

There’s a warehouse entrance to the yeerk pool

You get made into a controller

Choice 2 keep the box

You get badly concussed by Rachel as she kidnaps you

You wake up on the floor of Cassie’s barn and the Animorphs fill you in

Marco is a dick

You think Ax is disturbingly pretty as a human

They give you the choice to join them but the book doesnt let me see what happens if I refuse them and the morphing power

I wonder if they’ll ever properly explain how the morphing power works b/c ‘its dna is in your blood’ is bullshit

You get a roan horse morph

And none of these jackasses warned about the clothing thing

Cassie dont even fucking start

Animorphs debate recruiting more members

The ellimist shows up

The ellimist is an asshole to you b/c you unknowingly altered the timeline

The ellimist forces you/David to take a test of your ‘worth’. If you do well he’ll save your parents and if you don’t you’ll die

Coice a

You are trust directly to the iskoort homeworld b/c god hates you

Ax prevents you from falling off a platform

The Animorphs are confused to be here again

Ellimidst removies everyone elses memories of the event

...did the iskoort thing happen after the David thing?

Choice andalite, shark, komodo dragon

You pay a loyt of attention on Jake and Ax

Choice andalite battle morph

You notice that the andalite is really fucking muscular

The andalite mind is cocky af, and wants to use its tail to fight

Your killed by the hollwer’s howl. Andalite was the wrong choice even tho Ax… isn’t killed

Choice komodo dragon

Komodo dragons are green? Godzilla is green? The fuck?

You/David does really well controlling your send ever morph, and a predator morph at that

Komodo dragons are immune to the howller’s howl, maybe true for other nonavian reptiles?

You poison the howller but get shot and are apparently unable to morph out

Choice fly, hawk, hork-bajir

You have no fucking clue what to do b/c you’ve only morphed once and you’ve never been in a fight so you panic and morph hawk

You don’t get the chance to fight when Jake orders a fly retreat

Very blunt exposition from Erik, You are curious and ask questions

Somehow the howlers have made insecticides for earth flies

Choice hork-bajir

You feel secure in a strong hork-bajir body

Your blades don’t sink into the iskoort buildings and you fall to your death

Choice hawk

You have a red tailed hawk morph

You get shot through the wing but not bad enough to bring you down

Marco looses a whole wing and goes down, Jake follows to help and you are the first to dive to try and help them even as you hit a tree

Cassie checks on you to make sure your ok

Cassie gets injured and you and Rachel attack the howler that did it, her body is carried off by an iskoort, that’s really the rest hiding inside of a hologram

Cassie’s fuckin dead and Rachel is not ok with that

Jake’s gone, Tobias is gonna go look for him and insists that Rachel stay with the rest

Rachel blames you for getting Cassie killed and wants you to promise to stay out of the way of the group

Choice refuse to stay out of the way

Ax tricks you into morphing fly, making you think that there is an emergency

You find out that you’re trapped in a bottle and can’t escape

The animorphs excluding Jake, Tobias and Cassie decide to fucking murder you b/c someone died in battle and Rachel decided to blame the new person and you wouldn’t promise to stay out of a fight where your life was on the line too

Fucking dicks

Choice stay out of the way

You feel guilty about Cassie’s death and wish you never picked up the box

While Rachel, Ax, and Marco are whispering shit in a corner

WTF they force you to stay out of shit and then forcibly bring you along into battle in Rachel’s ear, still put your live very much in fucking danger

Fucking dicks

...you still stick to keeping your promise even though these asshats are keeping you in danger

Suddenly you’re in a limousine with the rest of the animorphs sans Cassie

The ellimist fucking welches on the deal b/c one of his pawns ended up dying in the fight he threw yall into

You choose to save Cassie’s life b/c you don’t want to hurt either of your parents

Fuck the ellimist

Choice B

You find yourself and the rest in a forest

And are soon chased by a roaring, monster movie dino-monster

You cry when you’r terrified

This dino-monster is clearly much much bigger than a T, rex and an adult T. rex wouldn’t be interested in eating a human much anyway

Choice wolf

You’re acvtually manage to morph and run at the same time

… the dino-monster, who was slow enough to just barely keep up with a human manages to outpace a wolf.

Which is complete bullshit

Choice roach

You hide behind a tree to start the morph, not having enough time you dive under the dino-monster

The writer has no fucking idea how big a T. rex is, but this is clearly not a T.rex even if they keep calling it that

This is all bullshit

You would rather not be alone in a strange environment and demorph to go find the others

...the other’s didn’t even try to go look for you

You get tired and fall asleep

Waking with the rest you hear the sounds of a stampede

Choice roach

Tyrannosaurs like T. rex were hunting things like ceratopsians, ankylosaurs, and hadrosaurs. Not… titanosaurs?

You get stepped on while morphing

Choice run as human

Huh, you run slower than Jake but faster than the rest. Ax doesn’t count since ya know quadruped

You are somehow swallowed whole by the dino-monster. As a human.

This is bullshit

...you morph roach and … climb up the monster’s throat and out its mouth…

This is so much bullshit

It swallowed Jake too and he aquired it and morphed it… so why can Jake morph with enough force to destry the monster’s guts but you couldn’t morph hard enough to break a cup?

Choice ignore the weird alien shit

Yall continue walking around aimlessly and get tired

You complain about things untill you notice that everyone is tired

… attacked by Jurassic Park raptor-monsters

You figure out the lone one is a distraction while the others circle around

Choice investigate the fucking city

The instant you step into the valley with the city your transported to a movie theatre

You watch a video on human history

You pass the ellimist’s test and he gives you back your parents and now you don’t have to go find the blue box unless you really want to.

...interesting

[fart-gate]

SG1

Season 1 episode 10

"THORS HAMMER"

Notes by me

- daniels making a presentation wheres my popcorn

- the goaulds did NOT make the Stargate? Interesting

- NORSE GODS YESSSS

- thor!!! Are we about to see chris Hemsworth

- The planet is called Samaria

- Daniel made a little box that contains human history and stuff just like the broadcasts we send out to space. I wonder.....if. If it has. A history of music. Is never gonna give you up in that box

- "time to go to work" IMAGINE this is your job. Go to other planets and fight aliens. Absolutely Bonkers. I'm jealous

- the big hammer is making a noise and I feel like thats not good!

- JACK JUMPING INTO THE BEAM TO SAVE TEALC ❤❤❤❤

- daniels voice when he says "I think theyre dead" 😭

- this leader lady seems nice enough

- "midgard" I only remember this is earth bc of Thor(2011) when thor shows Jane the Universe Tree

- Leader Lady has a giant sword 👀

- tealc and Jack are in Trouble and no one is surprised

- "junior" is this the official name for his pet worm!?!?! I was hoping they would name it!!!

- ok you checked on junior hes fine. Now please put him away

- oh god this thor looks so STUPID. he looks like the thor from the 70s lmfao

- oh its a hologram

- if only the host can leave then tealc is stuck there

- tealc wanting Jack to leave but Jack not abandoning his boy ❤😩

- "NO!!" Daniel I swear to god you gotta CHILL

- when she shows them her scar and they jump a mile and grab their guns lol guys calm doowwnnn

- still holding out hope for sha're 🤞😞

- theres a man eating creature in the cave with Jack and tealc

- better not be Gollum I dont think I can take 20 minutes of Jack failing at guessing riddles

- oh my god why does NOBODY ever believe them when they say tealc is nice??? Like is he the only jaffa ever in the history of jaffa to defy the goauld? Its that unbelievable that one would leave?

- yIKES THAT THING IS UGLY and its clearly a guy in a costume but good lord what cool makeup

- writers: *offers hope for sha're and skaara* you are safe now my child

Me: I owe you my life

- Gollum is creeping in the shadows, getting ready to strike

- sad back story for magic lady 😢

- okay she called the worm "he" a minute ago and now she just called it "she" and I am already declaring that the goauld are nonbinary It Is Law

- HERE COMES GOLLUM!!! QUICK JACK THINK OF A RIDDLE

- omg it speaks??? IT SOUNDS LIKE JAMES EARL JONES LMFAO

- his eyes glowed!!!! #worm

- his name is Unas and he was the first host? Ever?

- "it is a myth" clearly youre wrong

- Daniel dreams about sha're and still feels connected to her

I'm weeping

- Gollum lives here he comes again!!

- Daniel is SO mad at Sam for doubting magic lady

- this Darth vader voice is killing me. Dont choke on your aspirations director

- aahhhahaha go ahead Daniel say I told you so, I can tell you want to

- is she actually talking to the thunder?? Is it talking back

- again Jack risks his life by saving tealc 👑👑💖💖

- "fear is the greatest enemy"

- magic lady opened the door by basically saying open sesame thats it im switching to norse religion shes on to somethin

- TEALC SELF SACRIFICE

- Jack saved him again bros 4 life

- rip Gollum/Darth Vader

- Daniel......come on man

- FOR TEALC!!!

- "youre a part of this family now"

- hes making Daniel do it?

- daniel destroying the hammer even tho he knows it's the only thing they have that could possibly save sha're 😭 he did it for his new bestie💖 Friends Forever

- "thank you Daniel jackson" akdjsjsn

- daniel has alot of different feelings attacking him in this series so far but we arent gonna get into that

- a rock as a gift! The symbol looks like the mark that gandalf put on bilbos door

- daniels We Come In Peace box better start playing Toxic by Brittany Spears when you open it or I'm sueing

- i have to say I love the fact that Daniel is always the one that dials the gate. Like thats his job. No one else does it. He dials the gate, tells people they come in peace, and collects his paycheck

~

Whump under the cut

Tealc whump: painful beam of light transports him, noises, unconscious, electrocuted by another beam, fought, self sacrifice

Jack Oniell whump: unconcious, fought , thrown

🎶 listening to Thunder by Imagine Dragons 🎶 bc thor

[valentinyresha]

This is not as good as the first unsuccessful attempt, but at least it seems to be funny =‘D

"..A/N: I am just a fan, I dont have the rights to any of this stuff.Resha woke up one spring monday....It was a darj and snowy night. Resha had been bored, so bored, you wooldn’t bleve it. She had been there together in the room with Shiba and Clea. Normally they could perfectly entertain each other, but not this time. And to make matters worse, it was almost impossible to go to town. It was too snowy, too dark.“Urgh,” said Shiba, “I wish Endless would attack. At least we’d have something to do.”Clea agreed, “I agree,” she said and started throwing mobile phone at the wall, just to catch it again when it bounced off. “Uuuurgh,” she then said as well, because she agreed with Shiba, “Don’t you know anything to do, Resha?”..."...

Resha’s gaze went down the room, past teddy Bear and a stack of g-strings. Then Her eye fell onto a lone empty bottle  they had used the evening before.

I know,” said Resha, “How about we play...............spin...the....BOTTLE!”

“What a superb idea” “Oh year!” Resha's mother and King Malacia also peaked up “Yeaaaah!”

So they all sad down and Resha took the bottle first. Hilariously, it landed on King Malacia, but Resha thought King Malacia was quite a bit too creepy and really didn't want to kiss the man. She hoped the others might have mistook it for landing on Clea, but judging the howls of laughter and the rising anticrepation in the room, they probably didn't.

"But but dont you all see it really landed on Clea?" "Laaawl no, u shuld kiss King Malacia," said Clea. The fact that she said it made Resha feel rejected :(  

But then, all the sudden.... Endless attacked!

But before everyone got themselves ready to go after Endless, there was one thing Resha wanted to take care of. She had to introduce Shiba to her parents. Resha had been thinking for it for a longitme. Her parents were the worst. Uppity, pathetic and sexist. But Resha had told them that she finally got engaged and that she would introduce Shiba to the family before they would make it official

"Uuuuurgh," Resha said while laying on her bed "I can handle it," Shiba said "You don't know my parents!" Resha said. "I know, but if they created you, then they can't be that bad," Shiba spoke wisely. "I noooooo but it's still...uuuuuurgh." "We'll just go there and I'll impress them," Shiba said manly Then Resha snugged deeper into Shiba's arms.She felt safe there. Resha knew that whatever would happen, Shiba would protect her.

The day of the dinner had come. Resha and Shiba took a dragon to her parents. They came into a dining room and the table had already laid. "Ah, you've finally arrived," Resha's mom said and she looked at Shiba, "You're late." "It wasn't her fault," Shiba said always as protective of Resha as he was. "It was the weather." "Sure... sure..." Mom said and she went back to the kitchen. "Wow," Resha said, "she didn't even shake your hands." "Oh well," Shiba said manly. Oh gosh, that nonchallant way. Exactly the reason why Resha had falled in love with the man. Resha was busy swooning over her fiancé when her dad came in. "Boy," dad said and the stared at Shiba. Shiba shook his hand politely. "Ah, you're here too," dad said to Resha, "Help your mother out, it's time that the men have a conversation." "uuuuuurgh," Resha said and went into the kitchen. Then Resha's mother made her do all sorts of annoying useless jobs. After all, as mom said, people like them were inherently used to these sorts of things. Then dinner came. Resha was told to take the food in while mom and dad already sat down. Resha wasn't even allowed to see where Shiba went off to. Just before she carried in the first plate of food, she felt something weird. Like a crosswire went down sheback, tingling all along the way down. Something was off, but Resha was still too annoyed with her parents!

Then Resha carried in the meal. But no one was there. Instead, at the end of the table, Endless sat!

Endless laughed at her, "My my, that apron looks lovely on you!" Resha threw down the meal and flexed her muscles. Oh, she had been waiting for this moment. Not only was Endless going to feel the fullest extend of Resha's rightious fury, Resha could also unleash her frustration with her parents!

She threw the dish at Endless like a disco. But as it hit her archnemesis, it turned out it was a hologram! "If you want to see your parents again," Endless said, "come to my Hut" Resha felt conflicted. On one hand, Resha hated her parents, on the other, she still needed them for the wedding! Shiba came in and said: "We should save your parents." "But uuuuuuurgh," Resha said. "No we should. I talked to your dad, and he really does love you." "Alright. Fine." And then, suddenly Endless stood behind them.  They held an old book in his hand and the Aetherion in the other. "I see you finaly found me, allthough it will not do you any good. You see, the Aetherion is the last componant I need in the spell of Demonic Demonification. At last I will be one with who I admire most, I will have the true power - from the one that has lead me all these years. My one true ally... Satan: the Devil incarnated!"

Everyone gasped in horror as they were shocked. "Behold, prepare to knell before me, as the world soon will!" With that they spoke the evil words, and the ground shock and cracked, and the skys opened, and lava flowed over his body and then they was Satan!! Suddenly, Shiba (who was playing dead) lunged at Satan, grabbing the Aetherion off him With the spell broken, this gave Resha time to stab satan in the eye sending him back to Hell! As Satan exploded Resha sudden saw Endless again in the middle of the explosion. "Endless!" "Its me, Endless. First Satan was inside me and then got out, but during then I was inside Satan. You exploded Satan so only the inside was left which was me." "Do we need to fight now?" "No, when I was inside Satan before you exploded him I still heard what you said. What you said about love and The Lord. And how we all have to be good to be saved by him. I want peace now. I have seen the light" "Oh, thats good, Love has shown you the way"

And with that Endless and Resha became friends. Endless got baptised the following week and Resha helped out. After that they had some papayas and went home.

The End.    

[bloojayoolie]

Af, Back to the Future, and Computers: I lyrangalis ow prokopetz Random Headeanon:That Federation vessels in Star Wek seem to anefact of the selevision serial format. Rather, r's because the Federation as a cuiture are a bunch of deranged hyper-neophiles, toaling around in ships packed ful of beyond-cutting-edge tech they con't really understand Encless rustraing r you have to ngt them, because they can pus an eftectvely unamned ณn ber or busn space-mage countermeasures out of their arses but they're as ely as not to give themselves a lethal tve-cimensional wedgie n he prooess Al those rampant holograms and warp core marunctions and ncioents? That doesnt actuaty happen to the rais ike that anyone etse. ส3 iterally just Federation vessels nat go And they do so ona airty regular basis So to everyone elbe in the galaxy, all humans are basically Doc Brown prokopetz ens who have seen the Back to the Future movies iterally dont realse that Doc Brown is meant to be funey. They're just ike yes, that is exactly what at human sclentists are lke in my experience THE ONLY REASON SOOTTY IS CHIEF ENGINEER INSTEAD OF SOMEONE BECAUSE EVERYONE FROM THOSE SPECIES TOOK ONE LOOK AT THE E ROOM AND RAN AAY vuican scienoe academy: why do you need another warp core humans were going to plug two of them bogetmer and see if we go twice as a last time we gave you a warp core you threw t into a sun to see if the sun eould go twice as fast humans hanana yean humans it did ho humans it exploded twice as fast love this. Especially because of now wel it plays wn my headcanon that the Federation does so mach better against the Borg than anyone ebe because beating the Boig with mirary tactics is nigh-impossbie, but beating tem with ล2cky superscence shenangns works as long as they're anoue wacky. Reminos me of the thing I wrote a while back about Humans in hign tantasy realms they're basicaly Team Fuck iR Hold My Beer1 Gat This Impulsve, passionate to a fauit, the social structures they build 1o try and reguiate this hetheadedness ironicaly creanes even greater levels of sheer bul headedness Even theit cooler heads take acien in months or weeks All their great heroes of the past were impossibly rash by galactic standards Humans Just Go with It, which is their grear fnlaw but also their grearest strength ingon okay we dont get t vuican science academyget whar ngons: you vakcans are a bunch of stufy prisses but youre also tougher tranger, and smarter than humans in every single way dingons: wny do you let them run your federation vican scoence academy: this is a species where t yeu give them bwo warp cores they dont do experiments on one aro save me r Tor if The first one ican science academy: this is a species where yeu give them bwo warp core6. they ask tv a 1hid one. mmediately plug anthree nto each other, punch a hole into an altemate universe where humans subscribe to an even mare destnuctive ideological system, font everyone in it because they re ofended by that, steal meir warp cores plug those together, punch their way back here, then try to turn a nearby sun into a torus because thatwas what ther nital scienatic experiment was for and they diont want to waste a trip ican scoence academy: they did hat last week we have the wite-up right here its geting pubished in about six hundred scienific journais across to hundred diferent discipines because otf how many estabiished theories their ndculous tthe expedion has just cated ino question also they d burn that sun into a torus, and no one achualty knows haw vuican sdence academy: this is why we let them do whatever the hel they ngon can we be a part of your tederaion Come to think ot Imean. Look at the rst human warp drve" thing in the movie. That was Not howVulcans would have done it you know what the best evidence for this is? Deep Space 9almost never broke down, minor maftunctiong that irnitated OBrien to hel and back sure b atmost none ot the truty weind she hat betell voyager and al the starshps Enterprise wrat was the ล"dest matunnon DS9 ever had?the senior staf getting trapped as holosuite characters in Our Man Base, and that was because θ numan decided topst dump the transponer buter more stations coe memory and hope everying wouis work out semehoK Wich is a bit ihe swapping your computer's hand drive out for a memory card trom a PlayStation 2 and expecting to be able to play a game af Spyto the Dragon wth your eyboard and mouse ou knaw what Im not done with this post let's talk about the Pegasus. the USS Fuckng Pegasus, testhed for the fest Stareet cloaking device. here we have a hananuil af humans working in searet to develap a dloaking device in vielaion of a treary with the Romulans theyre playing catchup trying to develop a technology other species have had for a cenhury and what do they do? do they decide to 0°cate a Romuun coakingdevice precisely, jst see at t while we're builaing our very first one of these nings, just to find out if this s passible, lets see if we can mave hs in phase us out of normal space so we can fy threugh pianets white we're invisible ut why saia the one vuican in the room Decause that would fueking rule said he humans igh-tving each other and siamming cans of 24-cenbury Ried Bul thene must be ie twenty dfferent counseling groups for non-human engineering students at Starfeet Academy and every week in every single one of them someone walks in and starts up wth a story ike our assignment was 1o repair a phaser eitier and y one haman classmate buit a chronometrio- x toaster that toast MacGuyver" is the equivalent of Vuican vintage human hormor television. roachpatral during onentaton at hran colege. wkas are presented with a Bt of what is ue word tick, for," we innocent young vucans want 10 know. "surety. modifers yeah, yourd thnk so say the weary, jaded vulcan psoessors your'd realy there is a phrase in lcan for the particuler moment you understand what the weed tuck'is for This is why the Pederation is the only organsation to ever stand a chance The Borg can adapt to the trillant mitary strategies of the Romulan Star Empine, the Kisgons and even the cold logical inberectual prowess of the The Barg werent prepared for a starship captain to lure them into his Srs no detective holo-novel and then machine gun them to dear with a weapon made out af hard light