#one very happy and cute and the other very dour and depressed

[fallencelsetial]

I’m gonna be cringe for a second but I have not stopped thinking about it since last night. And I’m just like…metaphorically cuddling Garu.

As someone that has trauma induced memory loss, I’m just really latching on to the boy.

[rwbyvein]

Firen Lhain: Chapter 604: Four:  Part I/III

Dong Han handed out the last of letters-patent and Nora saluted him. The collection of bureaucrats held a round of applause. "You have all fought admirably! You have well earned your status of Huntsmen and Huntresses. Now, before we depart, is there anything we can do to help you?!"

"A lot -" Qrow stated, "of wine."

"You have certainly earned an evening of repose." Dong Han stated, "I would ask your preferences, but since this is your first legal drink..."

"I could provide details of their pallets." Aurora stated.

"Since when?" Yang asked.

"I have watched you all react to the cuisine."

"What, really?" Yang asked.

"Your pallet for cuisine is complimentary to your pallet for wine." Aurora added.

"Sweet." Yang said.

"You don't know how happy I am," Qrow voiced, "to finally be drinking with my nieces."

"I suppose..." Blake voiced, "drinking is important to you."

"That's.... one of of saying it..." Qrow voiced, as Aurora walked up to Dong Han.

* * * Aurora stood in front the table that seemed to have every order of wine, with a bright smile upon her face. "I would ask you all to allow me to be your somelier tonight."

"And?.." Yang asked, "for those who don't know what it is?.."

"Wine stewart." Jaune stated.

"Oh, yeah, you're the boss." Yang said, and then narrowed her eyes, "Maybe not the best way to say that."

A burst of rose petals appeared in front of Yang, and Ruby then walked towards Aurora, "We all know who you want to be the boss." Ruby chided.

Yang instictively tensed up and then breathed out to relax. "In light of the party, I'll overlook you budging in line."

Ruby then turned around to stick her tongue out at Yang.

* * *

Jaune sat on the couch as Yang flopped down beside him. RWB looking at her jealously. "Alright, in light of us finally making it, what with us all back together and finally being Huntsmen and all..." she said, and everyone was paying rapt attention to her. "...I say we come up with new nicknames!"

"Hm?" Weiss asked.

"Or you're saying you like being known as an Ice Queen?" Yang asked her, and she lightly scoffed, turning a light blue hue.

"Snow Angel." Jaune stated.

"Oh, I've got one better." Yang stated, "Guess what he called me?"

"What?" Jaune asked.

"Summer Princess." Yang said with glee. "Eat that, Snow Angel."

"If you are the Summer Princess." Blake voiced, "That should make Weiss the Winter Princess."

"Shit..." Yang voiced, "That's good... But still..."

"Hoping to be his only princess?" Blake asked.

"...maybe?.." Yang asked.

"Fall," Jaune said, pointing at Ruby, "Spring." he said, pointing at Blake.

"Why am I spring?" Blake asked him.

"Because you seem dour and depressive, but are probably the most passionate person here." Jaune added. Blake nervously looked down and blushed and smiled.

"What about me?!" Ruby eagerly asked.

"You are bubbly and adorable, and pretty much hope incarnate." Jaune said, and Ruby swooned. "Aanndd..." Jaune said, causing her to stare at him with bated breath, "your primary weapon is a scythe, which is designed to decapitate giant Grimm in a single swing."

"She is pretty cool like that." Yang added, and Qrow added an affirmative hmph.

Nora raised her hand, "What's my nickname?"

"You can be NORA." Qrow stated, "It's easy to remember because it sounds like your name."

"I like it." Nora added.

"We can't exactly call everyone princess..." Weiss stated.

"We could keep calling you Ice Queen," Yang voiced, "as it seems to melt your heart every time we say it."

Weiss nervously looked about, unsure of what to say. Her light blue tone deepened, however, proving she was at the very least enjoying it.

"Blake can be kitty-cat." Yang stated.

"But, what if I?.." Blake tried to ask.

"No." Jaune stated, "You're not going back to wearing your bow. We just got you to finally accept who you are; you aren't going back."

Yang shuddered as he said this. "I LOVED how he said that."

"Are you saying that Blake can't wear a bow?" Nora asked.

"Well, yes," Jaune said, "she can wear a bow, just not over her ears."

"That makes sense." Nora stated.

"And," Weiss asked, "just because Jaune says it, that's good enough for you?" she asked, and Nora nodded. Weiss sat back, hands together in front of her face, unsure of how to respond to that.

Jaune then looked at Yang, "You can be goldilocks." he stated, and reached for her hair. Her hand caught his and her eyes started to glow. "Are you going to use your Semblance on me for touching your hair?" he asked her, and Yang stared at him, glared at him. Her breathing was haggard as she looked at him, stunned, completely unsure of what to say. She let go of his hand and it slowly started moving towards her hair once again. Her breathing deep, and her eyes still glew, but she made no move to stop it. "It's - so - beautiful..." he said, and she seemed to slip back to normalcy as he delicatedly lifted it.

"She does spend a LOT of time on it." Blake stated.

"Doesn't make it any less beautiful." Jaune said, daintily touching Yang's hair, looking her in the eyes. The two simply stared at each other.

A burst of rose petals stopped in front of Jaune. "Don't fall for her feminine wiles!"

Yang shook her head before turning to look at her sister, "More like babelicious wiles."

"Yeah, whatever!" Ruby shouted.

"Ruby..." Weiss admonished her.

"But..." Ruby said to her, pointing at Jaune.

"We all have our chance." Weiss continued.

"But?" Ruby asked, and then visibly sighed.

"Ruby?" Jaune said to her, and she looked up at him. "I'm not falling for her feminine wiles." he voiced, and then looked at Yang, "Babelicious wiles." He then looked at Ruby.

"But?.." Ruby asked, "Googly eyes!"

"If you've been paying attention," Blake voiced, "he's been making googly eyes at all of us."

"He has?" Ruby asked, and Jaune sighed. He took another sip of his wine and handed it to Yang, whom leaned forward to put it on the coffee table.

"You can't seduce him," Nora stated.

"As he's already seduced." Ren added.

"Is that true?" Ruby asked him.

Jaune breathed in deeply before replying, "If I pick one of you, I'm hurting the other three." A pregnant pause followed, as they all traded deep looks between each other. "That's why it doesn't matter how much you seduce me; I can't hurt the rest of you." Another pregnant pause followed.

"I see what you said..." Oscar whispered to Qrow.

"They need to work this out on their own..." Qrow whispered back, "but I could use some more wine." he said, and stood up, walking over to Aurora.

"But!" Ruby shouted at him, "I - love - you!"

Yang quickly reached over to grab Jaune's hand. "Uh-un." Yang said to her, "No you don't, sis."

"We can't fight over him." Blake stated.

"Then," Ren added, "you will need to resolve this diplomatically."

"You guys are way too important to me," Jaune said to them, "to pick between you."

"Then?" Yang asked, "How about this? He doesn't pick."

Weiss immediately scoffed, Blake made no visible response at all, and Ruby just stared at her sister.

"But?.." Ruby asked, "If he doesn't pick, how do we know who won?!"

"You dolt." Weiss stated, and grabbed Ruby's hand. The two momentarily got lost in each other's eyes. "We'll all be winning." Weiss said to her.

"Wait, what?" Ruby asked.

"We'd be his concubines," Blake stated, "or handmaidens, or something."

Jaune looked around between the four. "I'm... not getting any objections?" he asked, and the four started looking between each other. He then looked to Weiss, "Ice Queen?"

"I thought I was your Snow Angel?" she asked.

"But wait, there's more," Yang said, and stood up, "by doing this, we get each other as well, and I have to say you girls give me a ladyboner. Weiss, I 100% see what Jaune sees in you, and Blake..." Yang said, and the two just locked eyes and stared.

"What about me?" Ruby asked, and Jaune reached forward, pulling her into his lap. He then wrapped his arms around her.

"How do you feel?" he whispered into her ear.

"I really don't know... I mean..."

"I've seen you kiss Weiss..." Jaune voiced, "How did it feel?"

"Like everything I thought it would..." she uttered.

"And how do you feel about Blake?" Jaune voiced.

"I don't know..." Ruby said as she looked at Blake, "I mean, Blake's always been really quiet... and cute... and adorable... and the ears... are even more adorable..."

"I know." Jaune said, which echoed about the dead-silent lounge.

"What about kissing Yang?" Nora asked. Ren reached around her and pulled her into a hug.

"Let's find out." Jaune said, and shifted Ruby to look towards her sister.

"What does that m..." Yang asked, but got lost in Jaune's eyes. Jaune grabbed her hand and pulled her towards them. He pulled Yang in and pushed Ruby towards her, and they stared into each other's eyes and they slowly moved together. When they reached each other the two kissed for a moment before pausing, and paused a moment before pulling away.

"What was that?" Ruby and Yang asked at the same time, still looking in each other's eyes.

* * *

Ren and Nora sat on a bed, looking into each other's eyes. "You are a Huntress," Ren soulfully said to her, "I am a Huntsman... do you know what this means?" he asked, and Nora could not reply, "It means I no longer have to hold back." He then gently leaned into Nora and gently kissed her on the lips.

[fanfic-corner]

Under 10,000 Words Pt 2

I promised (quite a while ago) and I’m finally delivering... more fics between 2k and 10k words! Same as last time, they are organised by word count for your browsing pleasure.

Walk Through Fire For You by purple_charlie on AO3. (2,335 words).

Tags: John Winchester’s A+ Parenting, Angst, Pride, Marijuana Use, Polyamory, Gay Cas, Bisexual Dean, Bisexual Gabriel, Everyone is Queer.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Boyfriend. The word still feels foreign in Dean’s mouth, still brings back echoes of John Winchester’s thinly-veiled (if even that) homophobia. “Man up, don’t be a sissy, I didn’t raise a fairy”. It’s a swollen blister in the back of Dean’s mind, throbbing with pain whenever a stranger’s eyes linger too long on Cas’ hand in his, whenever a waitress double-takes at how close they sit in diner booths. But here, dirty dancing with Cas in a warehouse full of other queer folks, Dean wants to shout from the rooftops- I’m Dean Winchester, I drive the baddest car in town, I lift heavy things for a living, and this is my boyfriend.

Notes: This was so sweet it nearly made me start crying - Cas deserved to be told that he was loved!

Boneless Wings by PallasPerilous on AO3. (4,333 words).

Tags: Crack, Wingfic, Domestic Fluff, Canon Compliant, Angel Castiel, Suburbia.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: For those of you perving along at home, Dean could absolutely provide a list of the hundred or so ways that having a boyfriend with giant fucking actual wings is super hot and/or awesome. This is not that list.

Notes: The art is gorgeous and this is such a brilliant parody of so many wing fics out there, I loved it!

Stories Are Made Of Mistakes by wildhoneypie on AO3. (4,942 words).

Tags: Human Castiel, Diners, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Bisexual Dean, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Case Fic, Domestic, Didn’t Know They Were Dating. My Rating: 4 stars. Description: In which Cas is human and doesn’t understand basic concepts like: clothing, Mythbusters, moisturizer, and Greek food. Dean is…Dean and doesn’t understand basic concepts like: boyfriends, language, how to tell your friend that he’s a walking miracle, and when not to quip. Notes: This was so cute and I live for human Cas. I also love the recurring ‘no fucking quipping’ joke in this, although the idea of Cas swearing broke me a bit!

The Cry of Elisha After Elijah by intothesilentland on AO3. (5,844 words).

Tags: Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On, First Kiss, Reunion, Canon Compliant, Heaven.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: The kicker is, Dean had been trying to live. Really live. And not bite out in anger at the fraying of his heart: Cas, gone, Jack, gone—all that was left was him and his brother, and Dean had been trying to live, in spite, in light of that. In a world like the unsteady first steps of a child, apprehensive arms and hands cradling the air around them, ready for a slip, excited for a step, Dean had been trying to walk forward, too. Though every step had meant every pain. Upon his death, and arrival in heaven, Dean sets out to find the angel. He has to tell him. Cas has to know.

Notes: That poem at the start was really moving in this context, and the dialogue was so weirdly in character that everything was so real. It was definitely written better than the actual ending.

My Own Little World by tale_to_tell on AO3. (6,858 words).

Tags: Hurt Dean, Protective Castiel, Meet-Cute, Fluff, Pining, Coffee Shops, Implied Domestic Violence, Abusive Alistair, Abusive Relationships, First Kiss, Human Castiel, Protective Sam Winchester, Dean Has Self-Worth Issues, POV Castiel, Love Confessions, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, Happy Ending.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Castiel stumbles into a local café in order to avoid the rain, and during the process he meets a very attractive barista by the name of Dean Winchester. It doesn’t take long for Castiel to fall in love with Dean’s wit and charm.Too bad that Dean has a boyfriend.

Notes: This was fairly sweet, and I was not expecting the Sabriel content (always read the tags, folks). Also, return of Alistair being an asshole! I would have forgot he existed if he didn’t keep popping up in these fics.

broken when I’m lonesome by SailorChibi on AO3. (7,015 words).

Tags: Asexual Castiel, Demisexual Dean, Panromantic Castiel, Biromantic Dean, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Dean Has Self-Esteem Issues, Dean Has a Sexuality Crisis, Angst, Fluff, Touch-Starved, Comfort, Platonic Cuddling, Castiel is Not Oblivious, comments that could be taken as ace-phobic.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: After being saved from hell, Dean’s old methods of coping aren’t working anymore: he’s not sexually attracted to anyone, and he’s not interested in sex no matter how many times he climbs into bed with hot, naked women. Sam is convinced that his brother is just depressed, but Dean knows this goes deeper than that. He still craves the intimacy that can make him feel safe. Fortunately, Castiel is there to both understand and provide.

Notes: This fic really hit home. I’m not sure if it is because almost every person I have ever talked to has had some form of this conversation, but it was still cute.

Lost and Found by whelvenwings on AO3. (7,762 words).

Tags: Writer Castiel, Mechanic Dean, Demisexual Castiel.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: “Chuck Shurley? Sure, I’ve read his books. Kinda Vonnegut, but like, Kilgore-Trout Vonnegut, you know?” Dean took another gulp of his whisky, and smacked his lips like an adult. The guy sitting beside him at the bar, however, did not look suitably impressed. In fact, he was staring down into the bubbles of his cider, not even noticing the way that Dean was smiling at him, giving him the eyes. “I thought his stuff was pretty good, in a kinda metamodern way,” Dean added airily, and a little more loudly. The guy only nodded gloomily. Dean almost clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth in frustration. C’mon, dude, I’m trying to impress you. Twenty minutes of talking and all Dean had to show for it was a weird first name, a series of dour stares and the strangest need to know more about this – Castiel.

Notes: This was written so well that I wanted to cry at Cas’ story of the stars, even though it wasn’t particularly sad. Now I want to go and stargaze with someone.

Say Yes by MaggieMaybe160 on AO3. (7,996 words).

Tags: Episode s5e4 The End, Established Relationship, Secret Relationship, Drug Use, Fluff and Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Divergence, POV Alternating, Love Triangles, Idiots in Love, Wedding Rings, Chronic Pain.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Endverse!Dean's life is going pretty well with Endverse!Cas until Dean's past self shows up.A look at the episode "The End" from Season 5 from Endverse!Dean's point of view.

Notes: Quite cute, almost entirely canon compliant, and the ending gave me chills.

Carry On by Castielslostwings on AO3. (8,039 words).

Tags: Coda, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Heaven, Castiel Deserves Better, Love Confessions, First Kiss, First Time, Reunions, Explicit Sexual Content.

My Ratings: 5 stars.

Description: “I think I’ll go for a drive.” This is what happened between that moment, and Dean meeting Sam on that bridge.

Notes: This was written beautifully and was genuinely the ending that Dean and Cas deserved.

Unknown Quantities by xylodemon on AO3. (8,570 words).

Tags: Future Fic, Getting Together, Didn’t Know They Were Dating, Human Castiel, Bottom Dean, Angst and Humour, First Time.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: No one ever tells Dean anything.(or: Dean Winchester and the not-relationship crisis of 2014)

Notes: There’s more smut in this than I expected, but Dean is so oblivious that it is really funny.

Bing Crosby’s Pennies From Heaven by twentysomething on AO3. (9,613 words).

Tags: Castiel, Dean Winchester, Gabriel, Sam Winchester, Bobby Singer, Death.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Sam always asks inappropriate, poorly-timed questions, so what comes out of his mouth doesn’t exactly surprise himself. “Where were you?”

Notes: This was brilliant - the little gifts that Gabe left for Sam were adorable, and I burst out laughing at the image of trying to get Bobby’s wheelchair on top of a toilet.

So there we are! I hope you enjoy these slightly shorter fics, and hopefully there will be another load of fic recs for next week!

[protectserve]

velouria here, finally writing the bio of everyone’s (or nobody’s) favorite police captain! he’s been in charming for twelve years, but only became captain two years ago. tries to run a clean station, focused on stopping the gangs of new york charming from hurting innocent people. an emotionally distant father that’s trying to rectify that with his daughter minnie coming back to town. very dour, but ultimately an okay guy. here’s his details, it’s LONG AS FUCK so if you read it all i will give you five gold stars!!:

content warnings: cancer, death, depression, brief mentions of alcoholism, classism

born in detroit, michigan on february 3rd, 1967. the third in a line of five boys, rick was a bit of a quiet, unassuming child. his childhood was relatively normal, he liked star trek and riding his bike, listened to new rock records with his older brothers, but he didn’t realize how poor his family was until he was in middle school—not that he was particularly unobservant, it was just everyone in his neighborhood was poor.

he hadn’t dreamt of being a cop like some kids did, his parents were vaguely anti-government, and with the attitudes towards cops in the seventies, rick never thought he’d become one. it wasn’t his plan, but after he graduated high school, he was working a series of dead end jobs. by 21, he was utterly aimless, and his other brothers hadn’t fared any better, some even turning to crime. he was looking for structure, a reason to get up in the morning, and some buddies from high school applying to the police academy was enough for rick to follow suit, much to his family’s dismay.

rick didn’t start out the same cop he is now. literally, because he’s a captain now, but his ideals have shifted greatly. at the start, even after the academy indoctrination rituals, it was only a job to him. it wasn’t great money, but he was a single man and really, for any kelleher child, any money was good money. he really didn’t take it seriously, or not as seriously as he was supposed to, but he figured it was just a job for awhile. he didn’t know it would become his life.

just because he wasn’t fanatical about it didn’t mean he wasn’t good at it, or that he hated being a cop. it was hard to have a family that belittled his profession and then beg him to save them whenever they got into trouble, and it was a dangerous job. no one wanted to be a beat cop in detroit, but rick started to gain a real appreciation for his city. a job that was supposed to be just a job became important to him. he wanted the people he saw on the streets every day to be safe, he wanted them to live in a nice place, a guy that needed meaning in life found it in the police force.

it wasn’t always so meaningful. sometimes, like most of his fellow officers, he debated quitting. he saw his friends in the department get shot, get stabbed, die in many different ways. he had to be cruel to be kind, and sometimes just cruel. it wasn’t exactly a fun job, but a brotherhood did grow between him and his fellow officers, and soon he wasn’t sure if he could be anything other than a cop.

his priorities shifted instantly the moment he saw zhilan ‘lilian’ wu, a student at wayne state university. she was with her friends at a chicken shack on a regular tuesday night in 1991 and rick had never seen someone so beautiful in his entire life. lilian didn’t think much of him when she first saw him, really. he was cute, but he was a cop and a bit of a dorky one at that. frankly, she was out of his league, but they kept running into each other while he was on patrol and when her apartment was broken into, she called 911 and hoped he would be the one to respond. lucky for the both of them, he was, and he didn’t leave until he gave her his personal phone number. (they never did catch the person that broke in.)

from that first date, they were inseparable. they fell madly in love, the sort of kind that happens only once, the kind that happens in movies or romance novels. for a guy that didn’t give much thought to starting a family one day, really he thought it would be a bad thing if he was to work such a dangerous job, all he wanted to do was marry lily. to his eternal surprise, she wanted to marry him, too. they were married the same year he was to be promoted to a detective, working on the vice squad.

just a short year after they were married, lily became pregnant. they were both excited but incredibly apprehensive. they were barely out of the honeymoon phase, she was away from her family, and he had just been promoted to detective. they fought a lot, his job was different but just as stressful, and rick wasn’t sure their marriage was going to last. as the months grew on and lily’s belly got bigger, they tried hard to work through their issues, but there was a lot of fear and a bit of resentment. when lily finally went into labor, rick was working a case and only had a matter of an hour to make it to the hospital before baby amelia came. when she did, it was like everything else fell away. every bit of resentment, anger, worry, it all went away like it never existed in the first place. they had been scared, but above all, rick and lily loved each other. deeply.

that doesn’t mean everything was peachy-keen. things were still incredibly stressful, a new baby that lily didn’t have a lot of help with, and rick trying to show his superiors that he was still incredibly devoted to his job while trying to be part of amelia’s rearing as much as humanly possible. by the time their daughter was five months old, lily was at her wit’s end. she wanted help, and while rick’s mother was around to babysit or grocery shop, it wasn’t the same as having her own mother there. lily didn’t set down an ultimatum so much as she begged to go back to boston where she was originally from, and like hell rick would let his wife and baby leave without him. with a bit of persistence, his request for transfer to boston went through, and the kellehers left for another wintry city.

the transition to boston was a little difficult for rick; getting used to a new department, new ground, he hadn’t spent a lot of time with his wife’s family before. lily had her own difficulties, but she took to it better, happy to be near her mother and in the town she grew up in. rick missed his little slice of detroit, but he’d rather be dead than away from lily and minnie (as they began to call her), so he chalked it up to needing a little time to get used to it. it got better once they moved out of his in-laws’ home into an apartment of their own.

assigned to the vice squad like he was back in detroit, it became apparent that it wasn’t a good fit anymore. long stakeouts were easier when he didn’t have a baby at home, and his wife hated it when he went undercover for long periods of time. he put in a request to transfer to the homicide division and while that proved its own set of challenges, it made his family happy that he wasn’t so in the line of fire anymore.

while minor things happened day to day, a partner getting shot, criminals getting off for various reasons, seeing dead bodies practically daily, rick can confidently say it was the happiest time of his life. he got to watch his little girl grow up, he was still so madly in love with lily, and he was even promoted to sergeant after passing his exam. five years later, he was promoted to lieutenant, and it was all just so wonderful before it all came crashing down.

2006, the kellehers move to charming. not that rick particularly wanted to, he was very happy in boston, but his hand was forced. transferred because things were getting notoriously bad in charming, an outlaw motorcycle club clashing with a rising new gang, the police department was basically begging for new blood to help them after several officers died or quit. with the promise of a pay raise and the chance to possibly move up to captain, something he’d never get in his boston precinct, rick tried to think of it as a new opportunity. if he could go back in time, he’d tell himself to never take the job, never even come to the west coast. 

charming would never be detroit in the eighties or boston in the nineties, but he was mistaken when he thought a small town police department would make his life easier. this wasn’t a place to ride out into retirement, save cats from trees and settle disputes between elderly neighbors. he didn’t go into it blind, he knew what plagued the town, he had worked cases staking out gang warehouses and testified against the irish mob once, but charming was like something else entirely. the motorcycle club was so intertwined with society that often the citizens trusted them over the police department, and the ones that didn’t hated the department for not forcing the club (or the gang) out for town once and for all. it was an adjustment just like any new transfer, and just like before, he had to shift his ideals.

things were not easy at the start of his tenure as lieutenant, some didn’t like some hotshot cop from boston coming in and trying to clean up the streets of charming, and navigating the tense relationship between the club, the gang, and the department had a steep learning curve. he didn’t always agree with the previous captain, but they had been working charming for a lot longer than he had. even so, if he was to ever run the pd, it would be run differently.

things were not easy at home, either. not that they were horrific, lily and rick had dealt with adapting to a new place before, but the dangers of charming seemed a lot closer to home than back in boston. he feared for his daughter’s safety, almost a teenager, though she was so excited to move to california at the start. his wife was getting weaker, chalking it up to age. his job was difficult, he missed big cities and cold weather and dunkin’ donuts for breakfast. he automatically felt protective over charming and its people, as it was his job, but he didn’t love it like he had detroit, and boston to a lesser degree. rick was noticeably unhappy, but he committed to charming, and even with her faults, she didn’t deserve to be overrun by criminals.

as rick settled into life as a charming cop, his wife was also noticeably unhappy. she missed boston, she missed her family, and she wasn’t feeling well for quite some time. they didn’t find out until it was too late that lily had ovarian cancer. by the time they knew about it, it was like she was already gone. chemo was an option, but it seemed to just be delaying the inevitable and lily refused it, despite how much rick had begged her to at least try it. after only four years living in charming and eight months after being diagnosed, lily kelleher went peacefully in the middle of the night, in bed at home with the two great loves of her life sleeping next to her.

to put it plainly, rick was a fucking mess. he tried to keep it together when lily was still alive and put on a brave face, quite frankly he was in utter denial, but the cracks were visibly showing and after the death of his wife, he went off the deep end. completely swallowed by his grief, he was given bereavement leave but either way, he couldn’t get out of bed. he couldn’t look at his daughter, she looked too much like lily, and the idea of his wife not being around to make dumplings on christmas with minnie or wake him up when he fell asleep watching a western on tv after dinner broke his heart completely. when it was finally time to come back to work, he was a completely different cop, the kind of cop that he hated, aggressive and cruel at no provocation, he began to drink heavily and sob randomly. his captain finally gave him a kick in the ass: either get some help or get off the force. 

taking another three weeks of leave, rick spent the first few days still swallowed by grief, but he knew he had to get help, this was no way to live. he started going to a therapist, tried to clean himself up and be there for his daughter. it wasn’t instantaneous and rick began to resent others, as if he should so easily get over the death of his wife, the only woman he’s ever loved, will ever love. he wasn’t better, just going through the motions, and eventually he was able to go back to work. he wasn’t the cop that he was before, and wasn’t the cop he was immediately after, but focusing on his job was the only thing that really got him through his grief and sorrow.

and minnie. he didn’t forget her, or love her any less. the decision he made was a hard one, one that’s hard to justify, but it felt like the only option. before lily died, he saw potential in charming. after, all he could see was its dark corners, as if that’s all there was. tensions were rising between the club and the gang and the department, rick didn’t see an end in sight to the violence, and it was hard to do his job when his mind was constantly drifting to his daughter, fearing for her safety, fearing for mind after losing her mother. four months after lily died, rick had a discussion with minnie, though it was more just telling her what was going to happen. minnie was going to move in with her maternal aunt back in boston, at least for a little while, until rick could get things back in order. 

unfortunately a little while ended up being ten years. he didn’t want her to stay away that long, often he missed her so much that he wanted to demand that her aunt send her back, but he knew it was better in the long run. rick could focus on his job and minnie could finish out high school in a much more stable household, near her mother’s family to take care of her and keep her connected to her chinese side. with her safe, far away from charming and well taken care of, rick could dig deep into his work. when he was working a case, he didn’t have to think about how quiet his house now was, or that he was missing minnie’s later teenage years. when his whole life was protecting charming, he was protecting himself. it wasn’t as if he never saw minnie again, he flew out frequently and attended her graduations, but the short term plan for her to live with her aunt quietly turned into a lot longer, and rick got used to his empty house.

his dedication to his work wasn’t all for naught. in 2018, the previous captain retired and rick was promoted in high esteem. since taking command of the station, rick is trying to change things as best as he can, as much as the station and the club/gang will allow. rick is harsh on organized crime, doesn’t believe in fostering a relationship with either syndicate, and will fire anyone he finds out is in their pockets. he wants them out of charming—he doesn’t care if they exist, he just wants them out of his town. and it is his town.

he’s not all tough, though. captain kelleher cares deeply for his officers, his door is always open if they need to talk (or want to transfer), and he’s a warm presence for those on the force. (#cop dad.) it could be said that because he sent his daughter away, he views those under him on the force as his surrogate children, somewhere to put all his paternal affection, but it’s also possible that he’s just a good man at heart. though he hates the crimes that the gang and club commit, he doesn’t want them individually hurt; in fact, he wants them to be better, he wants them to give up the life and go clean. or at the very least, fuck off.

as of a few months ago, his daughter minnie has returned to charming, moving in with rick. though he was apprehensive at first, things in charming actually worse than when she left, and the fact that he hadn’t lived with her in a decade, he’s so happy to have her back, happiest he’s been in a long time. he has gotten quite used to being alone, though, so it’s been a bit of an adjustment to have her back. he really cherishes the time he gets with her but has a hard way of showing it, just like he does with practically anyone; it’s harder with his daughter, though. so much time has passed, so many regrets, he has to get to know his daughter all over again, this time as an adult.

he wasn’t totally alone before she returned, actually. two years before becoming captain, he adopted a black and tan coonhound after her original owners died, the station taking care of the case. with petula (as she was named before he got her) having nowhere to go and hating the idea of her going off to some shelter, rick took her home. there was also the fact that some of his detectives remarked that he was far too lonely and should get a dog lol. sometimes he brings tula to the station so she can hang around in his office, but mostly she just sleeps. she’s a sleepy girl in general, but has a loud ass bark. 

hasn’t dated much since lily died. no one will come close to her, obviously, and he’s just a tough nut to crack in general. has a hard time opening up emotionally to anyone, even before lily’s death (it was a frequent problem in their marriage). does have some friends, but they’re also emotionally distant dads in their 50s. they go on an annual fishing trip to just drink some beers and watch airplane disaster reenactment shows and talk about tom clancy novels or whatever it is that dads do.

his job as captain is more administrative than any position he’s had before. he deals with the mayor’s office and the district attorney’s office frequently, so he’s not out on the street visiting crime scenes often unless it’s a huge crime that warrants it, or something officer involved.

secretly smokes despite telling everyone he doesn’t. wears the latest in dad fashion, Dadshion™ if you will. doesn’t smile very often but that doesn’t mean he’s not happy or that he’s mad, he’s just got resting bitch face. tho he is often mad. catch him walking his dog or irritating his daughter!!

wanted stuffs:

if ur character is part of the police department, let me know bc ur character now has a dad. unless you’re a dirty cop, then he’s a very disappointed dad. we’ll plot it all out individually, they can hate or love rick, they used to get along but something happened that soured the relationship, they don’t respect his authority, they think the department should work with the club/gang, whatever!

the constant criminal: if ur muse is constantly in and out of the holding cells at the station, they’ll often see rick. basically at this point when your muse is arrested, he’s rolling his eyes like “kid, we’ve talked about this. if you like here so much, just apply for a job as a file clerk or something.” they’ve got the antagonistic but borderline friendly, familiar relationship that ya see on all the cop shows.

the informant: so i guess this would be a whole thang, your muse informing on either the club or the gang, but someone’s gotta let the pd know what’s going on!! maybe your muse is in the club/gang but has become disillusioned over time, maybe they’re just close to someone in either, idk there’s plenty of reasons! of course their meetings will be in secret, but they’re on file as a CI. 

enemies: i mean, he’s the police captain in a town full of criminals. pretty much everyone is an enemy until proven otherwise lol, but y’know your character hates cops and rick doesn’t really care about their opinion. we can discuss the details or maybe they hate cops in general.

friends: rick isn’t like, a totally miserable person. of course his friends would be more around his age and i’m pretty sure rick is currently the only person over 50 lol, but he’s gotta have a pal in someone on the dash!

someone he used to date: as mentioned above, rick isn’t good at dating and has only had like one or two relationships since his wife died, so obviously this relationship didn’t last very long. again, he’s in his 50s and i don’t think there are any female characters over 45, so this one’s a long shot but if you ever wanna bring an older lady and have her date rick in the past, i beg you to do so!! or just more older characters in general!!

someone that remembers minnie from ten years ago and is like “damn dude, that was rude af to send her away the same year her mom died” and he’ll be like suddenly i can’t read.

obviously this post is long as fuck so i don’t need to add to it anymore, but i’ve got tons more ideas! message me here or ask for my discord!

[ofindcmitability]

Rating: General Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: F/M, F/F Fandoms: Legacies, Charmed, Asphyxia Characters: Lizzie Saltzman ( @geminislegacy ), William Halliwell ( @ofindcmitability ), (mentioned) Hope Mikaelson ( @chosenlonely​ ), (mentioned) Landon Kirby ( @frcmashes ).  Additional Tags: #thisisomseangstyshit #depressing themes #love confession #different sort #really sad??? #gooey #emotional #hurt/comfort #angst #emo #umayhateustbh Language: English

lizzie saltzman

the adrenaline and energy she has previously channeled into keeping hope steady on her feet has officially burned out. she knew she had to be the strong one, the pillar, the one with a smile and an optimistic view ( an inheritance from her mother, perhaps ), but this can't last forever. when she left hope's room, without the hair straightener but with a ton of other issues in her pocket, she felt like an exhausted battery. but, most importantly, she felt a pungent taste in her mouth. it's no coincidence her immediate desire was to seek will out. perhaps for comfort, perhaps for an easing of her conscience ( he has to know this ;  he has to ). she has a key now, so she ventures to his place before he gets there ( it's not the first time ). it's not a long wait, but it's enough to leave her alone with her thoughts for a while, just sitting on the edge of the bed and staring into the airy nether. the sound of the door reels her back into reality ( and she realizes only then how deep has ponder has been ). " hey, " she greets, rubbing her palms along the jeans donning her knees. a pause, as she considers her options. she decides that a) she definitely wants to talk about it ( say the things she couldn't tell hope because it would only break her more ) and b) that, once again, will deserves to know. but ...  she doesn't want to do it the direct way, like she's ripping a band aid off. " busy day? "

william halliwell

they didn't typically plan plan dates. sometimes, if it was something special, they did. typically, however, they'd run into each other and decide to do something. whether it was netflix and chill, or netflix and chill. they'd go for walks, she would cook and he would watch--- he'd draw her sometimes ( not too often, and he hadn't yet to show her-- not ready ). but yeah, lizzie and him had an endless list of things to do together and will always enjoyed them. always enjoyed her. it was funny how they could talk for hours straight and how the words meant so much. she was the second person to make him feel more, the second person to give meaning to him, to give feelings tangled with the name of william flynn halliwell. and now there were more. harlow, claudia, landon, even hope ( though there was still distance between the two ). he'd been happy when she graciously accepted the key, but he hadn't expected to find her in his room ( their room, a voice in his head spoke ). "hey..." he took in her state because-- well, he knew her well. "you okay?" a question he knew the answer to before being spoken, though he didn't know the how or why. oh uh, busy day. "not really. just... magic school. same shitheads as usual." the preppies, the gangbangers, and the loners ( and yes, will was one of the loners ).

lizzie saltzman

she stands up the moment he greets back, her own dour mood faltering in favor of a very small lift at the corner of her lips. it's a small yet meaningful comfort to know she doesn't even need to say anything. he reads right through her, as she reads through him. " long day, " she utters, dragging her feet over to him and enveloping her arms around his torso. " aren't you one of those shitheads? " it's a loving jest, mumbled as she rests her head into his shoulder. she lets herself bask in this brief comfort as she examines the word options in her head, how to go about this. in the end, she decides to just let it flow. " something happened today. " she pauses, unsure of whether to mention the croatoan too. she decides might as well. " some monster attacked hope and i. " she pulls her head back, hands loosely resting against his arms instead. " you spill your greatest secrets or you die, i guess. " she filters the reveal through her mind before, brows knitting as the realization ( still puzzling ) hits her again. how ...  flabbergasting it is. " hope ...  is in love with me. "

william halliwell

he lets out a small chortle are that. yes, he is one of those shitheads. however for different reasons then the previous listed. he was a shithead because, somehow, he was lucky and had gotten everything he ever could wish for and things he couldn't even have believed in his arms. a arm slid around her shoulder as her head curled perfectly into him, and he was holding his very own world right in his arms. "that's descriptive." he jested at her, trying to lighten the mood just a bit despite the demeanor of hers that spoke volumes without the words. "are you guys okay?" concern lit in his chest, he pulled away from her to get a better look at her. her face, her skin, no scars, no pain. a hand traveled to her cheek and he had to repeat. "you're okay?" needed the confirmation. "and hope too--- she's okay?" he didn't know hope too well, not in the way he knew lizzie and landon. but, he wanted to. she was clearly important to them both. it mattered. "greatest secret... ?" that was a bit ominous. oh. his mind processed such information, a wheel usually turning now disjointed and short circuiting. "landon." he said, and maybe it wasn't right that was his first thought but will couldn't help it. he didn't know much of what to feel, he didn't know how lizzie felt ( and honestly, he was scared to. how was he supposed to compete with a hero when he was practically the epitome of a villain ? ). "i thought hope was with--- i thought she loved--" lots of thoughts, so many questions. "are you-- are you okay?" he asked, back to his intial train of thought before the reveal. "how do you... how do you feel?"

lizzie saltzman

there is a small sigh that pushes past her lips as his hand reaches her cheek and she recognizes that scouring look all too well. it's a content sigh, really, because, yes, she can handle herself well enough and she can definitely handle malivore monster of the week #53 ( if it was malivore related ). but ...  the concern is nice. being that cared about is so very nice. " we're both okay. don't worry about it. " there is a lift of a small smile, a bit of a cheeky attempt to it, as her fingers slide into his hand on her cheek and wrap around it in a reassuring grip. " only hope's door suffered damage. " she's usually much better at lightning the mood, she knows ;  but it's hard now, with her emotional weariness and all. her gaze is glued to his face as she awaits the reaction, drinking in every single shift and twitch. he seems confused. of course he does. ( she's in parts still confused herself. ) " pretty sure she still very much loves landon too. " pretty sure. they didn't specifically talk about that, but ...  she knows. her glance dips, mouth opening and closing as she searches the right answer. there is no right one, she decides. " i feel like ...  i could nap for a few days. " shoulders square in a shrug of faux nonchalance and when she finds his eyes again, she feels more confident. " i don't feel the same way, if that's what you're wondering. " which ...  he must be. " i just know she's -- she's my best friend, and she's hurting, and obviously i'll never, you know ... " a sigh, heavier. " ...  give her what she needs. "

william halliwell

"i'm glad." the words fell from his lips and he meant them, he would continue to mean them despite what was coming abroad. he liked her smile, even if it was the small kind. the only expression he disliked upon her was when she red eyed and tear stained. but even then, the tears made her eyes clear and lucid. the puffiness was cute. he was sure thinking that was a bit of a bad thing, but he meant it in the best of ways. the grip she held was something reaffirming. it was strong, it was something he held onto because he did, he believed in her with every last bit of his heart. a small chuckle at such words. "i'm sure you guys could fix it, badass witches and all." well, tribrid and siphoner but close enough ( he wondered, just how did he come to know of this world so well when he hadn't known what a siphoner even was mere months ago? ).. a slow nod of his head as she spoke of hope loving landon as well. "that's..." there wasn't much of a word for it. it may have been easier for landon if she didn't still love him. that way it would be easier to depart, to look anew or cut ties. maybe it'd hurt his best friend a little less ( did he even know yet?? ). he wondered, if perhaps, his attention should lay in different details. if, maybe, he should be more focused on the one affected that stood right before him. who was gripping his hand to remind him that she was there ( yet still, she felt so far away ). it was like... that feeling when you've sat for hours and finally get up. except, it was his jaw. his jaw, curving into a smile despite the change of everything only moments prior. "i've done that before." though, it wasn't the best thing for him. it was when he just... couldn't do it. when thing became too tough, and suddenly eating and moving and being a person felt like too much. it hadn't occurred in quite a long time. it was something that happened in period when wyatt initially saved him. it was the first time, in a long time, the idea felt so appealing. "it was." he said and the words felt too still. he felt cold, like snow slumbering on his skin. he wondered if he looked as pale as he felt. he wanted to ask more, he wanted to hear more explanation. there should of been relief in his chest but all he could think was if you don't now, when will you?. she loves him, he knows she loves him but--- but. her reassurance felt dull upon his ears. this was stupid. not hope's feelings, those were valid. but the fact her words fell upon dim ears. that as she expressed them he felt like they were wrong. she had the option of hope and she remained with him?? it didn't feel right. ( it was funny how confidence could be shattered so swiftly ). "and you're..." his throat felt dry. "you're positive... " that you won't fall for her? that you can't? that i'm enough?

lizzie saltzman

maybe it's too much to hope that the air around them could remain just the way it is. odd, and a bit awkward and tense, but tranquil nonetheless, like there is a nonchalance to it all, like it's not a big deal. to her, it isn't. to them, it shouldn't be. her greatest concern is how hope will go on, hope landon will feel about this, whether or not SHE will end up being the reason why the two of them fall apart and hope ends up alone and with nothing. there is a small furrow in her brow when he says he's done that before ( she wonders, for a forsaken, terrible moment, if he slept for days on end after she rescued him from that pit of torture ) and then when he confirms the obvious: he did wonder what her feelings were. she expected it, she truly did, though she doesn't know what to expect beyond that. she finds that this unknown is gripping her chest and twisting it in its fist, like she's awaiting for a vase tipped on the edge of a table to fall and break. she doesn't even know why, but as she looks at him, stares at him, with a care and intensity she never looks at anyone else, she feels like she can't breathe. and not even in the good way, the way he sucks oxygen out of her lungs when he kisses her, or tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, or tells her she's beautiful. he looks ...  wrong. and, suddenly, she feels pangs of anxiety buzzing and whirring. .he's doubting her. the way he speaks, the way he can't even finish the sentences. there's a look in his eye she hasn't seen in a while and yet, here it is, with her being the summoner of it. when she swallows, there's such a big lump in her throat it almost hurts. " do you really think i could? " not would. could. her voice is small, resigned. resigned to this being the utter truth. her arms come to brace at her own frame, like she's feeling a cold sweep through her bones. she feels like she could cry. but it's fine. she's just emotionally worn out. ( it's not helping that she was right, after all. maybe she hasn't been enough. maybe she hasn't proven well enough just how much she loves him. he's right to be unsure. he is. ) " will-- " the pause is only so she doesn't end up choked up by tears again. it's how she communicates best. but maybe she needs to work on words more. " will, if you're ever gone-- " a horrible thought already and she feels herself overwhelmed by it alone. " --i don't know if i could ever love someone again. do you ...  do you think i could do that while you're still here? " this one betrays her. it betrays the hurt and the almost offense she feels at the suggestion.

william halliwell

they weren't broken. it wasn't--- there were no strong to be shattered so easily. but, what had been perfect sculpted glass now had cracks. and it may have been her who spoke the words that changed their atmosphere but it was him who took that hammer and made them, he knew. cracks that he never thought would be possible for them, now were aligned in his very heart. it was scary to wonder if you were going to shatter.. he hadn't slept willingly for days since lizzie came into his life. even when he was bedridden he didn't sleep, he thought, he watched and he dreamed. he thought of how he endured all that pain and his rescue was miraculous. he watched tv, suggested tv shows from lizzie and feel better movies. and he dreamed of his she held his hand, of how she cried with relief, how the feelings they didn't even understand were burning at the surface and ready to hit the brim. she stares at him and he found himself waiting for the oh. i mean... or the actually- even the i'm sorry, will.. maybe he couldn't trust that she'd be his choice ( because truly, how could anyone want him when he was so tarnished and damaged? ) but he did trust she'd be gentle about it when she put him down. ( put him down, like they referred to the death of an animal. put him down, the heartbreak of william halliwell. ) he wondered if they'd remain feeling that same static between their heartbeats even if the futures hidden behind their eyes were different ones.. it wasn't even accusation. at least, he didn't think so. "i don't think..." he struggled with those correct words that didn't exist. "i just... " eyes connected to hers. "i don't think you'd ever purposely hurt me. and i don't think hope would hurt landon but-" a deep breath. "you can't help what you feel and she- no, i--" how could he explain how he felt when the emotions felt like they were going to drown him? "i don't think you would hurt me on purpose, but i think--- maybe you should. if hope is an option and you feel--" he felt sick saying this. "lizzie, she is so much better then me." the words were dreadful but he meant them. she spoke, and he listened. and her words felt like heavy gasket to his stomach. RELIEF strut itself over him, like he'd been biting down breath and suddenly he could BREATHE again. it was simple, but not so simple. it was a lot of things, frankly. all too much at once, if he had to admit. it'd been quite a bit since he felt himself so emotional in the worst of ways. with her form, all her radiant beauty, being blurred behind the water gathering in his eyes. they weren't running, they wouldn't fall, but his eyes were glassy with them. with sweet relief enveloping in such a warm of embrace. "i'd want you to," maybe not the right words, but whenever did he say the right thing? "i want you to be happy, lizzie. so bad. with me or without me--- " and then it cut, a small laugh despite the rawness of his emotions. "preferably with me, if you still want me." because, he knew. he knew. he'd always want her.

lizzie saltzmanYesterday at 9:05 PM

she doesn't like it when he can't muster the right words. she doesn't like it when there is something imbued with fear anywhere in him: in his voice, in his eyes, in his demeanor. she remembers that time at the library, between the flames of a ring of fire, when she saw the first glimpses of dread in his eyes, brimming with tears she couldn't quite understand back then. they were her driving force to go through hell and back to get him back. because, outside of wanting him back, she wanted him happy. as simply as that. because happiness made itself into a luxury for him, it seemed. he starts to string words together and she feels like she's waiting for a storm to come hit her. much to her shame, perhaps, when he talks about hope and landon, she finds it that she doesn't care. not in this moment, be it damned to hell. she and will are wavering. for the first time in so long. she can only care for so much at once. she even finds herself impatient for him to get to his point. because there is one, she knows. and looks like she was right. if hope is an option. a breath quite literally hitches in her throat, arms unfolding and falling by her sides in pure and raw shock, unhelped by the continuation that follows. " are you-- are you kidding me?! " yes, she's angry. angry because she doesn't understand. because he seems to be blind to himself, enough to get him to push her into hope's arms ( for a bliss fabricated in his own mind apparently ). .she's angry because he doesn't see himself the way she sees him. " maybe i should what? give it a shot? " the fact that he can't say this himself only proves he doesn't entirely want this either. ( screw you to hell, william halliwell. ) " she's not better than you for me. " this time, it's calmer. spoken with a shaken head. in mellow heartbreak -- for him. " no one is. why can't you just see that? " she moves just slightly closer, taking his cheeks in her hands and running her gaze along the creases of his face with so much adoration still. " everything i've learned ...  i've learned from you, will. about bravery, about sacrifice, about how to do the right thing, even if it costs you. about honesty, about bettering yourself, about strength. about love. " her thumbs stroke at his skin and she lets a smile on, at least, tearful because she is, oh, so sad. that he feels this way.  " i didn't know what love is until i've seen a dumb boy throw himself to the wolves to bring me out of the fire. it wasn't hope who did all of this. or anyone else. it was you. you might not be a hero, but you're my hero. " a sigh, her eyes shutting tenderly as she reaches her forehead against his. " you saved me in so many ways, will. of course i still want you. i'll always want you. mind, body, soul. you're my fiance. " she pulls back just slightly, just enough to find his eyes again. " my future husband. i want to marry you and have a family with you more than i've ever wanted anything. i love you. "

william halliwell

he didn't have a death wish. he didn't. it something he's considered more, not wishing for death but the fact that maybe it was there. before ultimately, he decided, no, he did not. it was more like... there were so many better then him, so many who deserved life more then he did. he didn't have a death wish, he just knew there were so many others who deserved better then him. and in that better came LIFE, happiness, things he struggled with feeling he deserved. then there was lizzie. the person who changed everything. slammed down his walls and shattered his protection from the world. she made him happy, and it was so easy to be swept up and away with it that he forgot to think about if he deserved it or not. even now, he struggled to know. he knew what landon, wyatt, claudia, lizzie herself, they'd all say the same thing. and as much as she meant to him, those reassurances would always feel false. and it was something he didn't know how to fight. she was angry, rightfully so frankly. usually anger looked sexy on her. in this moment though, it filled him with shame. "i don't know." his tone was hollow, unsure. he didn't know what to think, to think about. "weigh your options?" the wrong words, ever again. yet the words he continued with. "lizzie, she's better then--- and maybe you don't realize that now but you will, someday. and i'd rather..." he'd rather get that heartbreak out of the way now, if he could. rather then three months down the line when she remembered he was xion and she was, literally in all senses of the word, hope.. "it's not for you." no, it was. wasn't it? he was confusing himself. "i just mean-" what did he mean? "yes," because she was right. "for you. for anyone." a swallow, choking on his own pain and hurt because she had to come first. "i mean that she could probably make you happier, safer, then i ever could. the first thing you told me about hope, she's a hero. and i-" so many things he could say, instead he cut the words off. "i'm sorry." because he was hurting her, because he was hurting himself, because all of this hurt so fucking much. it rippled, without control. and will hated it, frankly. the lack of control. a tremble in his hands as he wretched it from her grasp and to cover his face that was swollen red. fuck he hated to be seen like this, hated her seeing him like this. "i'm sorry. he repeated again and didn't even know for which part. then she spoke, and somehow he was able to listen. her thumb stroked his cheek and he wanted nothing more then to melt into such touch. let that feeling fall upon him for eternity. she spoke about him and he couldn't help but feel like she was talking about someone else. she saw him in a way he couldn't see himself and will didn't know how to feel about that. it was scary. maybe because she believed it, or maybe because just  maybe it was true.. you're my hero. those words like embers to his heart, and giving it heat and warmth and FIRE to make him feel alive. "you're the one who rescued me, remember?" it was a joke, but also not. lizzie rescued him from his father but from more. she burned down all those icy walls he had and made him into who he was today. she left a brand upon his heart in such way that everything he was today, in this moment, and forever more-- it would be stapled by lizzie saltzman. their foreheads met and his stilted breath finally drew even. “we save each other,” he continued. “we’re a team. you and me.” they were, and maybe it wasn't the most fitting word but it felt right to him. it brought him back to that night, when they first kissed. when there were fireworks in his very soul. he felt choked up as she continued, but in a way that wasn’t too bad. a way that was kind of excellent. “i love you too. with every bit of my heart, soul and being. it’s you, lizzie. it’lll always be you.”

lizzie saltzman

despite the fact that she's feeling the anger in her bones, not subsiding and actually growing, she doesn't let it implode over. she can't be properly angry at him ;  it's not fair. it's hypocritical. because, truth be told, looking at him, she finds some sort of a mirror, with a crooked reflection contorted in the claws of dark insecurities. a broken mirror. the reason that rage doesn't take root, not truly, is because she finds that----- she understands. and when he's on the brink like this, she refuses to push him over. " will, " she begins, jaw tensing in an attempt to keep her own steadiness, voice firm but not unkind, " i love you. but you don't think for me. you have no idea what the hell i'm gonna do someday. only i do. " and she's made it abundantly clear what that future looks like for her. ( she knows it's hard for him to swallow that, though. she does. they're chased by the same monster. ) " and you don't get to tell me what makes me happy. she's not better than you. i tried getting close to her years ago and she kept pushing me away so much until i just gave up and realized it would never work. it never would. i'm tired of being pushed away and having to leave with the fear that someone is going to run off at the smallest obstacle. " a pause. a consideration. she decides to continue. ." like you are right now. " ouch. her chest feels heavy and she finds herself gathering poignant tears in her eyes. not really because she's hurt ( she is, but not that much ), but because she looks at him, sees him so disheveled, and realizes she hasn't been able to soothe him. that she's failed him. he almost feels rambling, another pattern she knows all too well. his hands move to his face, he looks like he's crumbling and she finds that there is a lone tear that slips down her cheek. " it's okay, " she assures, reaches again, moves his hands away because she doesn't want to shy away from him even when consumed by his demons. " it's okay, i understand. " a flash of a smile, soft but full of a deep sadness. " i never feel like i'm enough. " a quiet admittance, because she knows how he probably feels about that. ( they go back and forth between their own troubles. mirrors, once again. ) " i always think you deserve better than the crazy girl in shambles that everyone pushes away. because you have so much to give and i never know if i manage to give it back. " you're the one who rescued me. her smile grows more sincere at that, as her thumb strokes over the back of his hand. " we save each other, " she repeats, like a mantra. their foreheads touching, her heartbeat racing, she still feels hot in the cheeks from the springing tears. " you're so much more than what you think you are, will. " she said it once, almost eons again. she's saying it again. with even MORE belief that it's entirely true.

william halliwell

on an objective level, emotions are a weakness to be exploited. will had been trained to be nothing but a weapon, and weapons aren’t supposed to feel. on an objective level, he knows this. on a deeper, more primal level that he didn’t think died so much as never existed in the first place, he has always been a broken blade from the day he was born. "i know." he said and he meant it, despite the quiver of his boy. despite the way he was shaking in a way that made him burn for hatred of his weakness. weakness, he was so sure would be the end of him. was this the end of him? "i'm not--" was he running? he didn't mean to run, but what if that was what he was doing? will didn't know enough, emotions so confusing. he wasn't so used to dealing with so many complex ones, not until lizzie waltzed into his life so simply and without remorse (a lack of remorse they both shared). "am i running?" he asked her and he hoped, he hoped she would know. because he didn't. oh. so yes, he was running. he was pushing. he hadn't meant to. it had felt like the right thing, still did. it made logical sense frankly. hope was better for her. logic. yet his heart ripped at the idea of being without lizzie in his life. shattered at the notion of not seeing her smile, or hearing her laugh, or watching the way she could be so daring and bold and vulnerable and so many things in one blonde bombshell.. he made her cry. such recognized action, he caused that. he brought her pain. "liz..." he began, unsure and confused. not knowing what to say, what to do to make right something that had no definition of the word. it'd been easier to cover his face, cover himself from her seeing his weakness and vulnerability. a new kind she never had to face before, now right before her eyes ( and she didn't run, not like he had ). her hands felt warm to his touch. in spar with the tears, his eyes were clear. still watery, but clear. and he couldn't help it, the look of utter flabbergast crossing his face as she expressed such words. "how could you ever think that?" he asked such question and meant such words with every bit of his very being. how could she think that? "lizzie, all i have to give is me and i--" he wasn't much. just a wreck of broken bones and scars in the form of a person. "you've given me more then i ever thought i could want." he professed. "you gave me," he tried to think of the right words that wouldn't sound mushy and out came- "landon. a laugh because this was a bit funny, admittedly. "i wouldn't be friends with him, if it wasn't for you. i wouldn't have ever been on a date, or fought geese, or--" a pause. "lizzie, without you. i wouldn't be the person i am. you gave me me." he didn't know if that even made sense, but the words felt right enough. his thumb bridles through her soft hair, holding onto her like a lifeline. she said those words, and it was FUNNY*. he believed her.

lizzie saltzman

he's asking her. there is such a genuine air to his question that it takes her aback for a brief moment. the fact that he has to ask a question like this, that it expresses something as upsetting as it offers. she has to consider that maybe, maybe, his lines truly are blurred. she's still angry that he's putting thoughts ( and feelings ) in her head, that he conjures a what if that is as false as it gets. but ...  she can't fault him. she really can't. " i don't know. " it's an unhelpful, quiet answer. but it's truthful. she doesn't know if it's running, but it's ...  something. she feels he's putting a shield up, which means there's distance, which means he's pushing her away. " i know you're not staying. " that's basically all she knows. " i know i want you to fight for me, not to shove me into someone's arms because-- " she huffs in an attempt to find words. " --because you think you know better. you don't. i just want you. " it's as simple as that. .her eyes squeeze shut briefly, head dipping with a sigh. she knows he doesn't understand how she sees herself this way, just how she doesn't understand him in the same position. it's a vicious cycle. ( maybe they'll defeat it one day. ) but still, her gaze rises again, mellow and almost expectant. she knows he has a counterargument readied ;  he always does. she an't say she expects this extent, though. her chest swells with a burst of emotion as he talks. you gave me me, he says ;  and she relates. he probably has no idea how he took her pieces and built her whole again. " you're an idiot. " spoken with a defeated sigh ( slipped through an attempted, weak chortle ). " all you have to give is you? that's all i want. " it's more than enough ;  it's smothering and electrifying. warm and comforting. vibrant and familiar. her hand journeys to the back of his head, threading through his hair as she drinks him in, warm and peaceful - all things considered. " you won't be able to pry me off you with a thousand men, william halliwell. you'll always have my heart. all of it. "

william halliwell

he waits for an answer and anxiety thrums on his skin like mosquitoes on a hot summer day. she doesn't know. and he's not disappointed in her, but rather himself for putting such a question on her shoulders. being so unable to be proper and know, hated himself for being just as he was. nothing more, nothing less, he wished he could be more. he wished he wasn't so lost. it was like a crowning in his throat, struggling to hold onto a steady rhyme of breath as she continued. "i just want you happy." he didn't mean to push, didn't want to push. but he struggled to see the world where he made her happy ( and he didn't think about the fact that that was the world in which they lived already ). "i've always been an idiot." no, he hasn't. well, also, he has. just in different ways from the present. an idiot child who didn't know right from wrong, an idiot boy who didn't know how to make a friend, and an idiot boyfriend who looked at his girlfriend choosing him and thought, for some reason, she was wrong. ( still, even now. he knew himself to be an idiot. except this time, he kept those arguments away. as much as they popped into his head, he looked into lizzie's gaze and he knew. he knew they were wrong ). another tear bled from his eyes and this time it was one of relief. comfort eclipsing his being at her words pounding into his heart, staining like paint. "thank you." the words he spoke never felt like the right words but they were the ones chosen nonetheless. if only she knew the value each promise meant, no. he had a strange feeling, she knew. he didn't kiss her, but rather he leaned forward and rested his head upon her shoulder. maybe he should have asked, permission with words or with gaze. but, he didn't think too much. he just... moved. falling into the safety of lizzie saltzman and unable to regret it.

[fanfic-corner]

Writer Castiel

4/12/20 - I have wanted to be a writer since I was ten years old, so maybe I’m biased here, but I absolutely adore the idea of Cas being an author if he lived a different life!

Tabula Rasa by Dangerousnotbroken on AO3. (78,240 words).

Tags: Writer Castiel, Bartender Dean, Past Relationship, Pervasive Themes of Memory, Magic, Canon Typical Violence, Mentions of alcoholism, Mentions of Past Child Neglect, Mental Illness, Witches, Ghosts, Bi!Dean, Bi!Castiel, Referenced Past Minor Character Death, Angst, Slow Burn, Memory Loss.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Once upon a time, Castiel Novak had everything. He had a happy home life, a full scholarship, and, if he played his cards right, a promising journalism career. And on top of all of that, he had Dean. Then tragedy struck, as it tends to do, and Castiel lost everything. At thirty six, he’s got none of those things. He’s got no family to speak of. He’s got a job investigating purportedly true tales of the supernatural for a magazine no one reads. And worst of all he hasn’t seen Dean in nearly twenty years. So when research for an article turns him on to a witch who apparently grants wishes in exchange for stories, Castiel figures it’s worth the risk. If making a deal with a witch can get him Dean back, what has he got to lose?

Notes: This was absolutely amazing; both written beautifully and with a fantastic plot.

the inexhaustible silence of houses by Askance on AO3. (31,820 words).

Tags: Horror, Psychological Trauma, Domestic Violence.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Almost two years after the world doesn't end, Castiel falls from grace—and loses his voice in the process. It is the impetus for confession and change; before long, he is settling into a loving relationship with Dean, the Winchesters are tired, and hunting for a place to land has taken precedence to hunting anything else. Dean and Castiel fall in love with the strange little house on the end of Swallowtail Drive, and for a little while life is as it should be—sweet, affectionate, and beginning afresh. But more and more Castiel sees and hears things in the house that beg the question of whether or not a place itself can be alive. The walls and rooms seem to shift and grow and breathe, and one night, Dean comes home from a hunt changed in a way that Castiel cannot explain. In the months that follow, their domestic bliss takes turns for the dark and sour, and the confusion of their circumstances will ultimately test everything Castiel knows about the man he loves, and everything he believes to be true.

Notes: Excellently written, made me cry, and the ending was brilliant. Technically it isn’t tagged as Cas being a writer, but he does write some poetry throughout, and I couldn’t help myself.

Lost and Found by whelvenwings on AO3. (7,762 words).

Tags: Writer Castiel, Mechanic Dean, Demisexual Castiel.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: “Chuck Shurley? Sure, I’ve read his books. Kinda Vonnegut, but like, Kilgore-Trout Vonnegut, you know?” Dean took another gulp of his whisky, and smacked his lips like an adult. The guy sitting beside him at the bar, however, did not look suitably impressed. In fact, he was staring down into the bubbles of his cider, not even noticing the way that Dean was smiling at him, giving him the eyes. “I thought his stuff was pretty good, in a kinda metamodern way,” Dean added airily, and a little more loudly. The guy only nodded gloomily. Dean almost clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth in frustration. C’mon, dude, I’m trying to impress you. Twenty minutes of talking and all Dean had to show for it was a weird first name, a series of dour stares and the strangest need to know more about this – Castiel.

Notes: This was written so well that I wanted to cry at Cas’ story of the stars, even though it wasn’t particularly sad. Now I want to go and stargaze with someone.

The House on the Ocean Road by coffeeandcas on AO3. (111,351 words).

Tags: Single Parent Castiel, Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Baggage, Hurt Dean Winchester, Writer Castiel, Car Accidents, Past Character Death, Adopted Children, Mentions of Suicide, Slow Burn, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Near Death Experiences, Hospitals, Explicit Sexual Content, POV Dean.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Dean Winchester is on the run from his life. He's done something unforgivable, and can't face his family or friends ever again. So he does what any rational person would do: fakes his own death and vanishes into the ether. Wandering aimlessly along country roads, he succumbs to the elements during a violent storm and wakes up hours later in the home of a stranger: a single dad living alone in an isolated beach house, with a haunting past of his own. Cas is sweet and shy, but welcomes Dean into his home and tells him he can stay as long as he needs, never prying into his life or asking him to spill his secrets. As they rapidly forge a close friendship, Dean finds that the quiet life by the ocean with Cas is exactly what he's been dreaming of. He only hopes his past never catches up with him.

Notes: This was so gorgeous and the plot was fabulous! Also, I loved Jimmy, and Dean and Cas as parents were adorable. Weirdest use of Cole’s character that I’ve ever seen though.

What Can’t Be Seen by destieldrabblesdaily on AO3. (2,639 words).

Tags: Soulmate AU, author!Cas, Strangers to Lovers, First Kiss.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Written for this prompt: Soulmate AU where you first see color after eye contact: Cas is a famous best selling author and he’s promoting his book, so he’s talking to a crowd of people and suddenly his world is in color, and a lot of his fans pretend to be his soulmate. A Cinderella type situation ensues.

Notes: This was really cute and such a sweet and funny idea.

(un)conventional by imogenbynight on AO3. (6,100 words).

Tags: Alternate Universe, mechanic!Dean, Writer!Castiel, Conventions, Fluff.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Spec Lit Con--Speckly Con, to it’s regular attendees--is an annual weekend-long event held in Chicago, dedicated to science fiction, fantasy and otherwise speculative literature. This year Dean's favorite author, C.J. Novak, is appearing as a panelist. Naturally, he shells out the cash for an all access pass.

Notes: This was so adorable that I nearly screamed in the corridor outside my computer science lesson. Plus, the writing was absolutely gorgeous! I miss conventions :(

I Think That’s Mine by palominopup on AO3. (6,804 words).

Tags: Fluff, AU, Reporter!Dean, Writer!Cas.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: A mix up at the Atlanta Airport places Dean Winchester's laptop in someone else's possession. A series of calls and texts bring two men together.

Notes: This was so cute, Cas was so sweet, and Dean was an icon.

‘Star Wars is Overrated’ by leftdragonpainter on AO3. (38,186 words).

Tags: Soulmates, Pining, Drinking, Writer Castiel, Mechanic Dean, Neighbours, Swearing, Winchester Logic, Clueless Dean, College Student Sam, Awkward Dates, Dean Cooks, Castiel in Glasses, Slow Burn, Injured Sam, Fixing Cars, Smut, Costumes, Drunk Texting, Temporary Amnesia, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: When Dean Winchester turned sixteen he was disappointed by the words that appeared on his chest. He never expected that it would take so much to find his soulmate. He never expected to not remember meeting them...

Tags: Every time I thought I knew what was going to happen in this fic, something completely different happened, which I loved. 

Event Horizon by Winglesss on AO3. (6,442 words).

Tags: Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Dean, Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Past Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Texting, Sharing a Bed, Happy Ending, Veteran Dean, Doctor Dean, Writer Castiel, Strangers.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Castiel couldn't have helped his sister. That's why being offered a chance to help somebody else dealing with suicidal thoughts he took it without hesitation. When he gets the first text from someone who needs his help, nothing goes as he expected.

Notes: I don’t know if that kind of suicide prevention scheme exists, but this fic is very sweet. 

Darkly Dreaming Dean by Duckyboos on AO3. (29,008 words).

Tags: Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Alternate Universe - Police, Detective Dean Winchester, Writer Castiel, Serial Killer Dean, Alternate Universe - Dexter, Established Relationship, Murder, Top Dean, Bottom Castiel, Anal Sex, Innocent Castiel.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: Dean Winchester has the perfect apple pie life with his shy-but-sweet boyfriend in the suburbs. He has a steady, well-paid job with the LAPD and he’s charming and attractive. Really, he’s living the American Dream. It’s his extra-curricular activities that some may disagree with, as he’s also an accomplished serial killer. To date, his kills amount to around 36 and he’s never been caught. He’s employed by the law, remember? He knows how these things work.

*

A new serial killer arrives on the scene and despite the sloppiness of their work, Dean is intrigued by them and what they're trying to achieve, because their MO is the same as his; killing bad people. He makes it his mission to track the other killer down before the police do, and he’s left reeling when the 'Basin Vigilante' turns out to be someone a lot closer to home than he could have ever imagined.

Notes: I sort of watched Dexter a few years ago, and I absolutely love the idea of Dean as a vigilante serial killer. I only wish that the synopsis was a bit different, so the end was more of a surprise.

Finding Home by Desirae on AO3. (42,828 words).

Tags: Baker Dean Winchester, Writer Castiel, PTSD, Past Childhood Trauma, Childhood Kidnapping, Mistaken Identity, Dean Whump, Castiel Whump, Best Friends to Lovers, Emotional Sex, Fluff, Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: Dean Winchester lived a quiet life running his bakery. Aside from family, Dean had no desire to let anyone inside. The more people you cared about, the more you had to lose; A hard lesson he'd learned at the tender age of eight when Dean’s best friend was kidnapped right before his eyes. Dean was forever haunted by the event, although he hadn’t realized quite how much until Emmanuel James Milton breezed into his life; waking his sleeping heart with a complete lack filter and achingly familiar eyes. An author, with no family and traumatic past of his own, Emmanuel never felt like he belonged anywhere until he walked into The Honeybee Bakery and met Dean. It’s not long before they find out that there is a reason for their profound bond.

Notes: It was obvious what was going on here from the start, but that just made it even cuter as they fell in love again.

I think it is a shame we didn’t get more human Cas content, but I guess it is too late now. I hope you enjoy these fics, and if you ever have a specific list you want me to make, feel free to ask!