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[teamhawkeye]

is it important to my trip that i replace my zippo's lighter fluid before i leave? no

is it haunting my every thought, knowing that i'm out of lighter fluid and my lighter is functionally useless at the moment? y e s

[stellewriites]

simon is a he/him lesbian in this fic. he’s a gender nonconforming cis woman & prefers using a masc name and pronouns

huge thank you to woolie, birdy, gougie, báir & three for being so encouraging and helping me with this fic and to kitty for making all of my oc names as always :3

this is a love letter to butches <33

Riley (he/him), 31, female.

Looking for a roommate ASAP. DM for details, don’t fuck me about.

you’d found the post on an online forum asking for a roommate and hadn’t hesitated to reach out immediately when you saw you were in the same city. your current roommate was only a few weeks away from moving in with her boyfriend, which would leave you with an apartment you couldn’t afford on your own.

although the post left everything to the imagination, the options for roommates were slim pickings and the single room apartments on the market were no cheaper, meaning you were getting desperate.

after a brief back and forth online with riley, he explained that his own roommate was moving out which was why he was looking for someone new to fill the spot. the apartment was cheap for the area - not that he told you where it was- and you’d have your own bedroom but you’d share the living room and kitchen, there were two small bathrooms, and storage in the shallow loft since it was the top floor apartment.

standard stuff but it sounded perfect.

riley was a blunt texter, but you assumed he’d maybe had his fill of people messing him about so far and just wanted to get down to business and find a roommate before he was stuck in the same position as you; paying double rent for a place that wasn’t worth it, digging into savings to stay afloat.

after covering whether you smoked (quit last year), had any pets (allergic), or liked frequent house parties (too shy), he offered to meet up to go into more detail about the place and you’d jumped at the chance, naming a cafe you liked to frequent near your work.

you weren’t sure what you’d been expecting when you arrived and found a table near the window - or more accurately, what you’d been picturing riley to look like - but you’d had to school your features into something less flustered when a tall woman in a baggy hoody and a pair of black work out shorts walked in and bee-lined for your corner.

as he walked your eyes glued themselves to his nike shorts as they rose up his thighs, indecently tight, showing off the thick muscle covered in a smattering of soft, unshaven hair, light enough that it glistened in the afternoon light. as he got closer you noticed a smattering of scars leading up his shins to his knees and stretch marks curving around the inside of his thighs.

you felt the urge to reach out and touch when you felt the weight of his own gaze taking you in for the first time.

“riley?” you’d asked hesitantly, when you finally managed to lift your head up to face him, cheeks ablaze. beneath his hood you could see that the scars continued on his face; almost prominently one ran from mid chin through his lips and up his cheek, another, smaller but thicker, ran from his hairline to two inches down his forehead slightly off centre.

you were mesmerised.

“prefer simon,” he’d corrected but nodded, his voice lighter than you’d expected but thickly accented.

he pulled down his hood with a scant look around the cafe to reveal a short cropped haircut, a little shaggy at the top. he took the seat opposite you and you sat up straight when your knees bumped accidentally. you snatched your legs back beneath your chair and clenched your thighs tightly together as the warmth of his bare skin throbbed through your jeans.

christ what was wrong with you? you had the attention of one hot, tall butch and suddenly you were a bag of nerves and fumbling all over the place. get it together.

“oh! yeah ok, cool,” you said and tried to smile normally. “simon.”

“not what you were expecting?” he asked wryly.

“uhm, no,” you admitted with an embarrassed little huff. “not exactly; i don’t really know what i was expecting though to be fair.”

“want to back out? no ‘ard feelings,” simon offered indifferently. guarded.

“no! no, i’m still very interested,” you insisted, biting your cheek when he raised an eyebrow at you in amusement. “i ordered already, uhm. got here a little early after work so i figured why not? i just got you a latte, i should’ve maybe asked.”

you felt wrong footed in front of his confidence. his legs were spread wide beneath the table, feet planted on the outside of yours and suddenly this felt less like a first meeting for a roommate and instead like your ideal first date.

you looked over at the counter and tapped your leg impatiently when you couldn’t see your drinks.

“that’s nice of ya.”

“i wanted to make a good first impression if we’re gonna be roomies,” you joked.

“mm.” he looked you up and down. “you messy?”

“excuse me?”

“i like to keep the place clean. deal breaker if you’re messy, it’s why soap had to move out.”

“soap? i don’t— yeah, i’m clean. tidy. i can keep my shit tidy,” you insisted. a waitress brought your drinks over on a tray and you thanked her quietly.

he smiled. “good, then this should be fine.” his foot tapped yours under the table. “relax. you said you came here after work?”

“yeah, i work nearby. sales calls, nothing interesting,” you shrugged and took a big sip. “pay is shit, but it covers half of the bills. what about you?”

“construction,” he said simply and your eyes drifted without permission to his hands wrapped around his mug then up to his arms hidden beneath his hoody.

“nice,” you choked out, visions of simon in a sweaty tank top throwing back a sledge hammer, not at all helping with the heat on your face and between your legs. “long hours?”

“sometimes,” he conceded. “s’why i asked about parties. don’t need to be coming home from work to an ‘ouse full’a dick’eads.”

you snorted.

“i can promise no house parties. well, maybe one around my birthday but i mean does inviting four people around for pizza really count as a house party?”

simon squinted his eyes playfully. “guess i can allow a little leniency here and there.”

you grinned behind your cup.

“what about your own friends? they swing by often?”

“not if i can help it,” simon huffed, a smile pulling at his scarred lip as you chuffed a surprised laugh. “tend to go to gaz’s or price’s house if his bird in’t home.”

the idea of a bunch of lads around the flat wouldn’t have necessarily been a deal breaker, but it was a relief to know it wasn’t going to be often regardless.

the pair of you stayed long enough to order a second drink while you discussed rent prices, tenancy agreements, and simon showed you photos of the area it was in.

“can show you the place now if you don’t need to head home yet?” he’d offered. “not too far to walk from here. could get an idea of the place and see if it fits.”

you’d nodded eagerly and followed him a couple of blocks away to a cosy, hidden away flat near the centre of town. you were surprised it was as cheap as he’d said given the location, but when the water refused to get hot in the kitchen sink when he went to wash a singular mug you soon caught on.

“boiler goes every other month, but i know how to fix it,” he’d said with a sigh, popping the kettle on instead. “taps, radiators ‘n shower all go cold.”

you winced, but it wasn’t enough to put you off. “landlord refuses to get it sorted?”

“landlord doesn’t answer my texts or calls anymore, think he got pissy w’me after i complained about him doin’ fuck all about the single glazed windows to the council few winters back.” you pursed your lips in order to not laugh but simon saw your expression and shrugged unrepentant. “arsehole needed tellin’, di’nt he?”

“i think this place will be perfect,” you settled on saying. you looked out of the nearest window and noted the working locks; the traffic was loud outside but you’d always preferred the constant buzz to send you off to sleep, the few times you’d been camping you’d not slept a wink in the silence.

he told you about the few other residents and explained the shortcuts you could take to get to work or for the shops and by time simon had finished giving you the tour of the place - a deceptively long space towards the back, hiding its double bathroom and bedrooms - you’d noticed it had gotten dark outside. when he noticed your furtive glance however, simon offered to drive you home without a second thought.

and again, not thirty minutes later when you were about to climb out of his truck with one last deep breath of his cologne, he offered to help you move in next week.

if that works for you, he’d said.

you’d started packing as soon as you got inside.

the only issue with moving in with simon - an issue you’d only noticed after having lived together for 6 months already, an issue your friends had to point out to you - was that the dating pool in manchester suddenly seemed a little drab. a little pathetic.

“i really don’t think si has anything to do with the fact that i can’t find anyone i’m interested in when we go out anymore, i think it makes more sense that all the hot women are just no longer single now,” you’d laughed when your friend had suggested it.

sure you thought simon was insanely hot, and that opinion had only solidified after spending the last half a year with him; seeing him braless more often than not beneath his muscle shirts when he lounged around the flat on his off days, pressing closer than necessary after a shower when you tried to pass by in the hallway, working out in the living room grunting and groaning as he hit his push-up goal, sweating and stretching obscenely as you tried to keep your eyes respectfully locked on your phone or the tv.

you were well aware that simon was sexy but more importantly off limits, so you didn’t let it affect your dating life. or so you thought.

“doesn’t help that you barely come out on a night with us,” emma pouted. “even less now that you hang out with simon most evenings.”

“when was the last time you hooked up with someone? even just kissed someone?” ash asked before you could defend your lack of social life, their eyebrow raised as if to prove their point.

you sighed. it had been a while, and taking care of things by yourself wasn’t really working out too well. simon always seemed to come home just when the frustration peaked enough for you to grab your vibrator, and you knew from the girls he’d taken home in the first few months that the walls were in fact thin enough to hear everything. with gritted teeth and wet panties, you always had to put it back in your drawer and wait for another day for some ‘me time’.

quotas for no nut november were being accidentally exceeded so much so that you were heading into catholic nun absolution. it was almost mid may; you needed to find someone to break you out of your funk sooner than later. get over by getting under or whatever.

“we’re not trying to guilt you into coming out with us,” emma added kindly, wrapping her arm around your shoulders and pulling you close. “we know you don’t always like the crowd and that’s fine. but we just want you to be getting the dick or pussy that you deserve.”

you snorted and rolled your eyes. “what do you suggest then?”

emma shared a look with ash. “well…”

it hadn’t taken much more convincing from your friends to set up an account for you on tinder after that.

you spent some time on your profile, trying to find the right blend of funny but not too snarky, sexy but still approachable. it was a nightmare but the thought of getting your tits kissed and played with by someone else after almost half a year was enough to keep you on track. you just needed to focus and get it done.

——

as you walked back to your flat with ash after grabbing lunch together, you flicked through the options in your area.

“oh, she’s cute!” ash scrolled through the photos before cackling. “she’s funny too, listen, ‘if you google top places to eat out in the city, i’m the number one spot. better make your reservation quick’.”

you laughed. “oh that’s bad, si would find that funny.”

ash sent you a deadpan stare before going back to the profile. “so swiping right?”

you hummed and glanced at the phone again. “i don’t know, i don’t think she’s my type.”

“the last ten profiles ‘haven’t been your type,’ admit you’re just being picky,” ash pointed out.

“i’ve got standards is all,” you huffed. “i’m not just going to say yes to everyone.”

“she was exactly what you normally go for; strong build, blonde and funny in a dumb way according to the bio, aka you catnip,” they said. “hell, i’m surprised she’s not one of your exes.”

“fuck you,” you laughed and elbowed them. “i don’t even have a type, i don’t know why i said that.”

“oh please,” ash guffawed. “i can and will list the many attributes your exes all share if i have to.”

you sent them a scathing look and they held up their hands in defeat, a smug smile ruining their supposedly conceding pose.

“the only outlier was that weird austrian that i told you not to give the time of day to,” they continued. their face crumpled into a look of disgust, nose wrinkled and eyes pained. “could tell as soon as he opened his mouth that he doesn’t wash his dick.”

you pouted and ground your teeth in a grimace, unable to disagree on any count. he was certainly a lapse in judgement, you wouldn’t deny it.

“i’m just not feeling it, ash. i don’t want to waste her time when i don’t see the attraction. it’s not fair on her.” you shrugged and took back your phone to swipe left. “maybe my type has changed.”

ash stayed quiet a moment, looking contemplative as you both continued walking.

“ok you have a point. there’s no need to waste people’s time, but - and hear me out - everyone on there is just treading water trying to figure out who they want to fuck. she might spend a week talking to you and then ghost,” ash explained.

“great, cheers for that,” you chuffed.

“you know what i mean,” they rolled their eyes. “everyone’s figuring out if they want to go on a date or jump in bed with each other on there, you’re not wasting anyone’s time by giving them a chance. let yourself be wooed.”

“‘wooed’, i’m not looking for a mr darcy,” you joked.

“then actually give these people a shot, it’s not like they’re looking for marriage either,” ash countered. “or maybe you’ve got a specific person in mind distracting you that you’re making unfair comparisons to.”

you glared as you entered the apartment building. “i don’t know what you’re talking about,” you sniffed. you opened the app up again and bit your lip before swiping right on the first five profiles that appeared, showing your friend as you did. “there, happy?”

your phone buzzed and you looked down with wide eyes as all five accounts matched you back. the app directed you to the messaging centre and you looked at ash sheepishly.

“don’t you dare unmatch them,” they warned teasingly, pointing their finger at you with squinted eyes as you waited in the elevator. “go on a few dates and be spoiled for once. if nothing else, you get a good meal and some fresh air.”

you laughed as you finally reached your floor. you unlocked the door to your flat and dropped your coat on the back of a dining chair before slumping on the sofa with ash joining a second after sans their boots and coat.

“fine, fine. i’m on here for a reason, right? i might as well give them a chance,” you agreed a little reluctantly.

“give who a chance?” simon asked as he came from the back of the flat, passing through to the kitchen.

“my lovely bestie is finally on tinder,” ash said with a sharp grin aimed at simon. “hoping to find someone to fuck out the last six months of—“

“yeah thanks, ash! feel free to shut the fuck up, i don’t think simon cares about the details of my sex life,” you interrupted, cheeks hot with embarrassment.

“no?” ash asked playing dumb. they pouted and turned back to simon. “my bad.”

you hadn’t noticed simon had grown reserved and quiet at ash’s outburst, too busy trying to save face and distract yourself with thinking of a decent opening message.

“and anyway, i’m just going a few dates first,” you corrected and looked at simon. “so don’t worry about me inviting anyone around to the flat or anything.”

simon nodded tersely before swallowing. “s’fine.” he looked shiftily over to the kitchen before moving to lean over the back of your seat, arms resting behind your head as he peered over your shoulder.

“show me,” he ordered softly. you shivered at the feel of his breath on your neck as he spoke and immediately opened the app again.

you chuffed an unimpressed laugh at the profile that popped up first. “‘want to surprise my boyfriend with a threesome for his birthday, any takers?’ jesus christ, the dating pool is so dire,” you whined.

simon chuckled behind you. “bloke looks like he’d barely be able to handle ya either, look at ‘im. he’d ruin his pants before you even took ya bra off.”

“at least i’d be able to concentrate on the girlfriend then,” you snickered along with him.

“nah, best you’d get from her is a bit o’ tongue for show,” simon said. “can tell by the profile ‘er heart’s not in it.”

you swiped left and simon was immediately ready to point out the failings of this profile too, and then again when you swiped left after laughing along, and again after that.

the way he leant over you blocked your friend from your view, but simon could see the knowing look ash was giving him directly in his peripheral, but he chose to ignore it. especially when he lowered one hand into your lap to start swiping left himself.

you let your free hand rise to play with simon’s long shirt sleeve before you suddenly took in his attire and frowned.

“why are you dressed for work?” you turned to sit on your knees facing the back of the sofa as he rose up to his full height to see him wearing his work trousers and steel-toe boots, his hi-vis vest tucked into his waistband.

“john rang, asked me to cover soap’s shift when he went home sick after lunch. i’ll be back from the lot later; might be late in the evening if i have to go grab a few things for ‘im from b&q before it closes for tomorrow,” he said, contrite.

you pouted heavy and exaggerated. “movie night’s cancelled? fuck you, john price.”

simon snorted, his scarred lip lifting at one side in obvious mirth. “i’ll tell ‘im y’said that, shall i?”

“fine with me, i’m not afraid of him,” you goaded.

“he’s ex military you know,” simon winced jokingly.

you rolled your eyes. “no duh. so are you.”

he hummed a low single note.

“and you wouldn’t let him touch a hair on my head, right si?” you continued shamelessly.

“i’d tell him there’s no point wasting time trying to teach you manners. any time i try to knock some sense into ya noggin it just echoes,” he huffed, holding back a smile as he tapped his knuckles on your crown for emphasis.

you swiped at his fist with a hiss.

“you can piss off to your job already then if you’re going to take the mick,” you laughed. you kept your hands to yourself otherwise, knowing better than to try and push him away after one too many failed attempts. his stomach was always firm enough to keep your best efforts from moving him, but topped with a thick and soft enough layer that it gave way beneath your prodding fingers and roaming palm.

“i’ll make it up t’ya. another night,” he promised lowly, bending down close again to whisper. as your pout lessened he nodded before heading out.

“wooow,” ash exaggerated and lengthened the word sarcastically as they sat watching you slump back to sit normally now that simon was gone. “it’s somehow worse than i thought.”

“hm?”

“does he always fold like a cheap suit when you flash the puppy dog eyes at him?” ash laughed.

“you’re seeing things, he literally just cancelled on me,” you argued and turned to the tv to channel surf. “are you staying for tea? think i’ve got the stuff in for a curry, could pirate that new horror with kyle gallner.”

ash rubbed at their chin. “don’t think i didn’t notice the subject change… but i’m listening.”

——

you got your movie night with si a few days later with the pair of you lounged on the couch, simon’s heavy, long legs draped across your lap as you waited for the take out you’d ordered to arrive.

your phone buzzed with a notification and simon perked up. “food here?”

you took a moment to respond, looking at your phone and tapping away for a second before shaking your head. “no, just a message.”

you phone buzzed again just before you could put it back down and you unlocked it again with a growing smile.

“oh, ‘s emma asking about dog sittin’ again?” he guessed.

“it’s not emma,” you said easily, without further detail, distracted by your phone.

before simon could ask, a knock at the door had him swinging his legs down and heading to grab the bag of food. he grabbed some cutlery from the kitchen on the way back before slumping heavily down next to you, spreading his thighs wide enough to press against yours.

he frowned when he saw you were still engrossed in your phone, a little secretive smile pulling at your lips. at the smell of the food you looked up and your eyes brightened, you put your phone back on the table and ignored it when it buzzed, helping simon instead, sitting back when you had your share and pressing play on your movie. when the phone buzzed twice more in quick succession you bit your lip and glanced at it.

“answer it,” simon said bitingly, having figured out who’d be messaging you by that point. the stupid, bloody app. “but tell ‘em you’re busy with a woman already.”

your eyes widened and you coughed out a surprised laugh. “si.”

“tell ‘em you’re not hanging out with ‘em next week either, you can’t make it. you’re busy with me instead,” he continued, the weight of his hooded gaze heavy and stifling.

“but i’m not busy, we don’t have plans next week,” you said weakly, confused.

simon huffed heavily through his nose. you’d almost think it was bordering on angry but for the entire time you’d known him, simon had never gotten angry at you, even when you accidentally shrunk his brand new sports bra on a too-hot wash.

you both tensed when your phone buzzed again.

“let me turn off my notifications,” you said and reached for the phone furtively. you skimmed your notifications and felt something bloom in your chest at the mention of a date from one of your matches, but you didn’t mention it to simon. “there we go, now we can focus on movie night,” you said with a grin, scooping another forkful of sweet & sour chicken into your mouth.

simon’s shoulders dropped and he nodded. he looked to your half empty glass and stood up. “want me to grab you another drink?”

you smiled, mouth closed and cheeks full of rice, and nodded as he chuckled. he turned away before the urge to poke your puffy cheeks won out and you accidentally spat rice out on the rug.

——

>> any new matches? 👀👀👀

you pursed your lips as you read the text from emma.

<< a few. might have a date next week

<< depends if she plays her cards right

>> lol is it the librarian or the electrician?

<< electrician. might give me mates rates if i ask her to check out the faulty leccy wiring in the flat :p

>> more like dates rates ;)

>> she was cute 😍 where’s the date?

<< she mentioned getting dinner, a new place that just opened up that she said was meant to be cool

>> the thai place? omgggg i’ve been meaning to go! give me ur review after pls and ty

>> and i mean the food, but any dirty deets are welcome too 👀👀

<< ???

<< i haven’t agreed to go yet

>> 🙄 girl…

>> what happened to giving them a chance, ash said you were on board

<< idk si was acting really weird the other day

<< he got really moody about it all, practically told me to fob it all off and just hang out with him instead

<< i think he’s worried

you had been watching a few murder documentaries lately, and one too many of them had started off as innocent dates or first meet ups that ended in tragedy.

>> i think he’s jealous

you stared at the text as your stomach flipped.

<< ???

>> he’s literallyyyy had a huge crush on u since forever

>> this is not news 😐

you scoffed but felt your stomach clench and hesitated to text back.

>> don’t believe me? just watch how he acts around you over the next few days and see if he does any of these repeatedly

emma sent a screenshot from a website listing ‘things she does if she likes you’ and you snorted. it felt trivial, like you were a teenager again, but you decided to play along.

<< fine. but he won’t.

you sent your quick affirmative back before putting your phone down and finishing your break.

the idea of simon liking you was an impossible one in your mind. simon had brought home women from the moment you’d moved in, it had never been a deterrent and he’d always said you were welcome to do the same as long as they didn’t stick around when he had a day off.

recently though, you thought, there’d been less and less women traipsing out of si’s room giggling and flushed, staring adoringly up at the tall butch woman. sadly, you knew exactly how good simon was in bed from the enthusiastic sounds of his previous partners over the months, so you couldn’t blame them for tripping over their feet as they were ushered towards the exit, an eager ‘call me, yeah?’ breathed out just before the door was closed forever.

that was another reason you’d never made a move. even if sometimes there had been moments where you had thought simon’s gaze lingered too long or his touch couldn’t be excused as just friendly; you couldn’t take being a one night stand. not with him, and not when you’d have to move out when your feelings inevitably bubbled over.

you bit your lip as you cooked that evening. simon was chopping the veg for your bolognese as you were left to watch over the pasta - last time you’d burnt it when you’d turned away and gotten distracted and you refused to let simon hold that over you for any longer.

“you know i can go stay at ash’s or with emma and her partner for a day or two if you want,” you offered out of the blue.

simon stopped cutting and looked at you.

“why the fuck would i want tha’?”

you swallowed. “i just noticed you haven’t had many people ‘round recently and thought maybe it was because i was home,” you said, barely meeting his eyes. “so i can make myself sparse for a few days, it’s no bother. i don’t mind.”

“i had johnny over just the other day,” simon said as though you might have forgotten. the boisterous scot had managed to fondly wiggle his way into gaining your friendship the few times he’d popped by for simon. “and gaz and the lads are all coming by next week. y’dont need t’ leave.” he went back to chopping though much more forcefully now, the chopping board dully thumping with each downward cut he made through the courgette.

“yeah… but what about other visitors?” you hedged. “the walls are thin, si, so i thought maybe you’d want the place to yourself again temporarily so you can—“

“no. i don’t want the place to m’self. i like havin’ you here, like hearing you move around in the night and in the mornings,” he interrupted without looking up. “you stay.” he paused for a moment, doubting himself even as you nodded along. “unless you want to go?”

“god no! no, i just thought i should offer,” you laughed a little awkwardly.

he frowned deeper.

“do you want me to go?”

you paused, you mouth flapping like a fish. this was an option you’d not considered. you noticed simon’s eyes grow more and more desperate, his grip on the veg in front of him tightening as he waited for your response.

“no. never, si,” you said.

he watched you a moment more before nodding. “good. wouldn’t have anyway.”

you snorted a laugh and looked back to the spaghetti, hissing when you saw it had stuck to the bottom of the pan. “shit.”

“…tell me you haven’t managed to burn it a second time.”

——

your conversation with simon reminded you of the article emma had sent you. it took less than a week to notice how differently simon acted with others in comparison to how considerate he was with you.

he made the effort to hold eye contact at the start of your conversations, and if you ever paused too long in your reply his eyes would flicker back up from where they’d drifted to his food or phone to check why. you’d never doubted he was always listening, but seeing it first hand reassured you that he was without fail. and it only highlighted, now that you looked for it, how closely he kept to himself when strangers tried to pick up a conversation with him, how he used as few words as possible on the off chance he did reply.

you wouldn’t hesitate to consider simon tactile, soft-handed and gentle. but you knew that was a privilege. the same with his smiles, spotted in flash of crooked teeth or the slow crinkle of his dark eyes paired with the pull of his scar on the occasion he wore his mask.

at your realisation, you began to check the list religiously each night in the safety of your bed as though trying to convince yourself that you hadn’t noticed the way simon mirrored your own behaviour. how he’d lean opposite you in the small kitchen, tilting his head a second after yours as you complained about work, boiling the kettle for a cuppa after a long day.

you’d pretend not to notice him on the phone twenty minutes later, cancelling going out with his friends, again, so he could stay with you while you relax for the weekend.

you found he’d swapped the brand of peanut butter you usually bought after the last one gave you a tummy ache without mentioning it, he’d asked about your grandad’s birthday even though you’d brought it up offhandedly weeks before, he let you run your hands through his hair near his scar when he napped on the sofa. the list went on.

but you’d already agreed to that date with the electrician.

——

“i don’t know if i’ve come down with something, my stomachs not right. i don’t think think i should go,” you complained as you got ready for your date, your phone propped up on your dresser with ash and emma’s faces on screen as you video called. “i feel queasy.”

“that’s just the nerves, you’ll be ok once you get there,” emma soothed.

“want us to meet you afterwards?” ash asked.

“maybe, yeah,” you hummed. “or maybe call me an hour in just in case it isn’t going well so i can have an excuse to leave?”

“how does ‘your long lost brother just woke from a coma and you’re the only one he remembers’ sound?” ash asked.

“dramatic enough for me to make my escape,” you laughed.

“you won’t need it,” emma reassured. “you’ll be too busy flirting and fawning over her muscles to even answer the phone.”

you laughed harder and the ache in your stomach faded ever so slightly as you pulled on your shoes and got ready to leave. simon was still at work, pulling some extra hours to get the job back on schedule after johnny’s time off, which meant the flat was empty as you left.

you bit your lip and headed to the restaurant, waving shyly from the entrance when you saw jessi, the electrician, already seated and waiting on you.

“hey, been here long?” you asked as you took your seat.

“barely five minutes,” she reassured you with an easy smile. “you look stunning, by the way. worth the wait.”

you thanked her, and took in her styled hair and half unbuttoned dress shirt from across the table. you felt a little underdressed in comparison but hid your insecurity when you smiled at her across the table.

“are you always this shy?” she asked when you stayed silent a beat too long, her grin turning sly and teasing.

you laughed a little self depreciatingly and shrugged. “it’s been a little while since i went on a date,” you admitted, butterflies starting to flutter at her sharp gaze.

“i’ll go easy on you then,” she promised and winked before handing you a menu. “what looks good to you?”

��—

you’d thought the date was going fine, good, even. the thought of leaving hadn’t crossed your mind and when emma had called you’d screened it and smiled at the winky face she’d sent a moment later.

jessi was fun to talk to; her humour was maybe a little more forced than what you liked but it wasn’t a deal breaker. you’d thought she was enjoying herself too given the flirtatious comments, the lingering looks and how her ankle kept brushing yours.

but just before you could suggest ordering desserts, she stood and grabbed her coat.

“this has been…” she trailed off. “maybe you’re not ready for dating, you know?”

she’d dropped a few twenty notes on the table and left before you could ask what the fuck that meant.

you called over the waiter, covered the rest of the bill and made your own downtrodden exit soon after, dessert suddenly not seeming so appetising.

“tell me you’re going to her house to stay the night and that this is a safety call,” ash said as soon as they answered.

you huffed a sarcastic laugh. “nope.” you popped the ‘p’ and scuffed your toe along the pavement as you walked.

“fuck, this isn’t a good sign then. no dessert?” you heard emma mumble in the background.

“put me on speaker if you two are still hanging out,” you said and hugged your thin jacket tighter with your free arm as you started heading down the dark street towards your apartment.

“how’d it go?” emma asked a moment later.

“i thought it was going good,” you whined. “she was nice, we were chatting, i was engaging! but she just… left?”

“what were you chatting about?” ash asked.

“just the basics; work, friends, hobbies, roommates,” you listed.

“oh god,” emma groaned on the other end of the line. you heard her voice become muffled as though her face was in a pillow as she grumbled, “you didn’t.”

“what?” you asked with a frown. “it was good, she was being flirty.”

“yeah no shit, it was a date,” ash snorted. “how many times did simon come up?”

“don’t start this again—“

“because you were literally talking about him other day when we walked by a black and white cat just because it had little ‘socks’ and it reminded you to do laundry when you got back.”

“i promised to do simon’s while he’s been picking up extra hours,” you defended yourself. “he literally had to walk around shirtless the other week when i forgot to add them in for him.”

“oh, the grown woman who can and often does do his own washing just had to walk around with just a flimsy little sports bra and boxers on all day? sure, sure.” you could practically hear ash roll their eyes. emma snickered in the background and there was a slight shuffling which was never a good sign. “yep, here it is. and i quote ‘the way he’s built… like a damn chew toy. need to sink my teeth in to him, it’s like my jaw buzzes every time i see him with the urge to clamp down on his bicep.’ those are your texts to our group chat from that same day.”

“the texts i send when im ovulating should never be repeated out loud,” you hissed. “and do we really need more evidence that he’s synonymous with my wet dreams now, i’ve already admitted that i like him.”

“so you know this is a safe space,” ash said facetiously. “answer the question: how many times do you think you managed to bring him up in conversation?”

you chewed your cheek in frustration. ash would know if you lied but thinking back on it you didn’t really want to admit how many times you managed to bring up simon for your own dignity.

“look they had the same boots on, ok? and when she talked about her work it was the only way i could try to relate if i told her how simon had mentioned the same things,” you reasoned.

ash cackled on the other end of the phone and suddenly emma was talking while their laughter grew faded.

“have you looked at that list i sent you?” she asked, her tone oddly low and sobering.

“yeah, i can’t stop thinking about it,” you huffed. you paused to cross the street. “but it feels like i’m just making them up because i like him and he’s just being a normal roommate.”

“you’re not and he’s definitely not,” emma chuffed. “and i think you know that too.”

you were silent as you walked, your steps slow and careful even as the bitter cold wind snapped at your cheeks.

“he likes me?” you asked softly.

“no duh,” ash’s voice rang from the background making you laugh. they got closer and you could picture your friends crammed on emma’s shitty little couch as they spoke to you. “why do you think he’s always walking around flexing his muscles like that, huh? we’re in manchester, i don’t care if it’s almost summer, it’s not bloody warm enough for it!”

“and simon has you as his lock screen,” emma added like a 1-2 punch before you had chance to try and explain any of it away. “he always cancels on his mates to see you instead, and don’t get me started on how touchy he is with you.”

“he’s tactile…” even as you said it you didn’t believe it. though you couldn’t keep count of how many times this week alone si had let a warm hand land on your shoulder, knee, back, wrist, neck; you knew he barely touched anyone else.

"girl. simon?" emma snorted probably thinking the same thing as you.

“he likes me,” you said more confidently into the phone.

“oh thank fuck, she’s finally caught on,” ash said as emma laughed.

“i could literally be swapping spit with him right now and instead i’ve just wasted like two hours on a shitty date, oh my god,” you bemoaned.

you don’t know when you’d stopped walking but in a second you were speeding up to a jog as you said goodbye to your friends and hung up, fumbling to put your phone in you bag. eager to get back home and to see simon.

——

you crammed your key into the front door’s lock when you got home and groaned exaggeratedly when it didn’t turn. simon must’ve left his key in the door, again. of all the bloody times.

you knocked hurriedly, loudly, impatiently.

“siiiimon, open the door, come on i’m cold out here, you wouldn’t leave me shivering and lonely just because you forgot to put your key on the keyhook i specifically bought for—“ you cut off your joking whine when the most stunningly beautiful woman you’d ever seen opened the door to you, a knowing smile on her plush lips.

“oh,” you croaked. almost reflexively, your throat closed up and your eyes started to sting. “i must have the wrong flat.”

“what? no, you’re—” her smile dropped slightly and her dark eyes grew curious, but you didn’t stick around long enough to see.

“sorry, my fault! i’m meant to be on the floor above,” you rushed out and pretended to laugh. “silly me. sorry again.” tucking tail you turned to the fire exit at the top of the small staircase without waiting for a reply.

you knew the short staircase lead to the roof, simon had shown you one time and there were enough signs pointing it out. on the other side of the door was a small, flat balcony that stuck out of the slanted roof, and had old metal ladders that dropped 3/4 of the way down along the side of the building, in between the detached restaurant next door.

given you were the top flat in this little rinkydink building the woman at your door had probably thought you were an idiot and you couldn’t blame her. you decided to stick it out for ten minutes outside before sneaking back down and heading over to emma’s with your heart in your hands ready to be mended with the power of friendship and alcohol and food.

you sat down on the shitty little balcony and groaned loudly, desperately holding back your tears lest you fell into a despair and ended up accidentally falling asleep out of exhaustion and dramatics up there instead.

you’d finally realised your feelings and it was too late; simon had clearly taken your previous offers on board and moved on. you’d given him a free night while you went on a stupid date, what else was he going to do since you’ve been continually - though not purposely - pushing him aside like he was disposable.

“fuck,” you sighed shakily.

“date that bad you’re thinking of jumping?”

you swore in surprise and span in your spot to see simon leant in the fire exit doorway.

you couldn’t help but huff a weak laugh. “yeah it was,” you said before looking back down to your hands. “sorry, i didn’t know you were busy or i’d have gone to a friend’s instead.”

simon frowned and stood up straight. “stop saying you want to go somewhere else,” he said stiffly, swallowing thickly before taking the few steps to sit next to you. “when i’m here.” he knocked your shoulders together. “gaz said you freaked out at the door?”

you looked up at him in confusion. “gaz? that was ky— she’s called kylie, not kyle isn’t she?” you asked with wide eyes. simon’s accent had hidden her real name and convinced you all his mates were men and you’d never thought to second guess it. “christ, i thought she was— never mind.”

simon tilted his head as a knowing smile grew on his face.

“you thought i’d brought someone round for a shag?”

“well, she’s very fucking gorgeous,” you said defensively, crossing your arms. he leant his weight further into your side.

“mm. haven’t noticed.” at your unimpressed look he shrugged. “got my eye on someone else, ‘aven’t i?”

you nodded but avoided his eyes. seeing an unknown woman answer your door - gaz or not - had knocked your confidence more than you’d have liked to admit.

simon snorted.

“talk t’me, thought i was meant to be the quiet, brooding one.”

you looked across at him for a moment before leaning in to hug him tightly. you let the scent of his aftershave soak in and sighed when his own arms automatically wrapped around you too.

“you’re an amazing friend, si,” you whispered. and with how close you were pressed together, you easily felt how he stiffened at the title. you squeezed him harder in response, garnering yourself some more confidence at the same time, and sucked in a cold breath to speak. “and i think i’m a little bit in love with you.”

you felt a whoosh of air against your neck as the breath left simon’s body; he went loose in your hold and you buried your head deeper into his shoulder.

he tried to catch your eyes, ducking his head as best he could, but you’d thoroughly tucked yourself in against him as you felt a stinging heat spread from your cheeks outwards, your heart kicking its way through your chest and likely thumping noticeably against his own.

with gentle and patient cajoling, he managed to nudge you back up to face him and you offered up a wobbly smile.

“are you serious?” he asked breathlessly.

you nodded. “i’m sorry it took me so long to reali—“

simon coughed out a wet and surprised laugh and pulled you in for a kiss, his scar catching against your dry lips before you were able to slip your tongue out to wet them briefly. his hands were firm as they cupped your round cheeks, not letting you break for a breath until the very last second, determined to take all he could get before it came crashing down on him.

“y’r an idiot, so fuckin into ya. been a nightmare living with you, unable t’touch,” he mumbled against your lips and suddenly it was your turn to laugh into the kiss.

“unable? all you do is touch me,” you giggled, gasping when he took the chance to flick his tongue against yours.

“yeah?”

“yeah,” you huffed. “drives me mad, si.”

“only gonna get worse here on,” he promised. “never taking my hands off ya, off your fat arse and soft tits.”

you sucked in a shaky breath. “fuck.” you’d be dripping like a tap at all times if that was the case and going by simon’s smirk, he knew it.

“i’ve had to deal with your dumb mate fucking teasing me about liking ya for months now too,” he grumbled.

“they’re not dumb.” you leant in to bite his lip meanly. “and i’m sure your friends will be teasing me for what just happened too, never mind me being so blind to be on dating apps while we were practically already together.”

simon groaned. “i fucking hated those apps.”

you kissed him sweetly in apology, a soft peck to the lips then each cheek as he greedily chased your lips.

“they’re gone now. my date was ruined because i could only talk about you the whole time. all i want is you.”

“yeah?” his eyes were darker than you’d ever seen them as he tugged your jacket openand slid a hand under your shirt. his rough fingertips teased at the thin material of your bra and your nipples stood to attention under his ministrations and from the chill of fresh air biting at your tummy, bared when his arm rumpled your shirt. “want me right now?”

“always,” you panted. “but…”

you furtively glanced to the door.

“no one comes up here. i can be quick.”

“your friends are waiting,” you reminded him.

“fuck my friends,” he scoffed and tweaked at a nipple, grinning at the squeak you let out.

“would rather fuck you,” you joked weakly even as he pulled his hand back to pluck at your jean’s button and zipper.

“then what are we waiting for?” he asked.

you moaned and gasped when he slipped his hand down the front gusset of your jeans and into your panties before you gained the cognisance to pull it back out with a groan. “later, later,” you promised. “wanna get you naked.”

simon stared at you for a second and you worried he was annoyed at you for putting your foot down. he nodded however, licked his lips as he glanced back to the door and then dipped down to kiss you lightly.

“i’m kicking the lads out then, gimme five.” he stood and took few broad strides to get back to the stairs inside.

you laughed and called after him as he darted back down, taking two at a time as you followed with a grin, struggling with your jeans. “si, don’t be daft.”

“smartest move i’ve made in a long time.” he said as he walked back in to your flat. “everyone out. want some time wiv my girl.”

“ayy congrats!” soap called from the couch.

“that means now, soap.”

“don’t hafta tell us twice,” the scot stood with a slap to his knees and saluted simon on his way out. “ye coming, ky?”

“it was nice meeting ya,” gaz said as she wandered past, winking. you hid your hot cheeks in your shoulders but couldn’t help the flustered grin that spread as simon barely waited for the door to be closed before shedding his shirt, leaving him in a sports bra and his baggy trackies.

“get comfy. not letting ya leave til i’ve had m’fill.”

“funny you think it won’t be me dragging you back for more. let’s see if you can keep up, si. i’ve been told i’m pretty demanding.”

“always loved a challenge.”

you grinned wickedly. “come and get me then.”

butch/stud masterlist

updated mood board below (kept working on it after seeing kitty’s absolutely fantastic oc mood board and felt inspired by them!)

[number1mingyustan]

Honey ☾

bf!vernon x fem!reader

Warnings: kissing, cursing, drug use (marijuana), smoking, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, mentions of oral (f.), squirting, slight breast play, reader has nipple piercings

Summary: A couple of honey packets, a freshly rolled blunt, and hours to kill, but can you keep up?

Word Count: 2.6k

—————————————————————————

The Morning - The Weeknd

The smooth blade tears through the cardboard box in your hands. Vernon sits on the couch beside you, hunched over the tray as his hands skillfully roll the blunt.

You open the box, pulling out the black and gold packets. You stand to your feet, discarding the cardboard and leaving the packets on the table in front of you. You plop down on the couch with a small thud beside your boyfriend.

"Where did you even find out about that stuff?" Your boyfriend asks, eyes focused on rolling the blunt in his hands.

You shrug. "Somewhere online, TikTok I think."

He wipes his hands off, leaving the perfectly rolled blunt on the ashtray. He holds his hand out and you hand him one of the black and gold packages. He inspects it carefully.

"It tastes like regular honey?" He questions.

You shrug again. "Pretty sure. Just makes you super horny."

He digs into his pocket for a lighter and pulls you onto his lap.

"Ladies first,." He says.

You pick up the blunt, placing it between your glossed lips. He flicks the lighter, sparking the blunt, and watches you inhale.

His eyes scan over your face slowly. You exhale, blowing the smoke into his face with a grin. He smiles back at you, thoughts filling his mind about how beautiful you look in this moment, how beautiful you always look.

You take another hit and he tears open one of the honey packets. The sweet honey trickles down his throat and he licks his lips slowly. You take a couple more hits before handing him the blunt.

He places it between his lips, smoking through the perfectly rolled blunt. You tear open another packet, drinking the sweet gold. You climb off your boyfriend's lap, adjusting the speakers in the living room and connecting your phone.

You turn on one of your playlists before circling back to Vernon's lap. He hands you the blunt and you two take turns smoking through the entire thing.

____

Vernon leans back into the plush couch. His eyes are half-lidded, limiting his vision to a near squint. His head tilts so he's looking at you.

"It's hittin?" He asks with a smirk.

Your teeth pull at your bottom lift softly and you nod. "Yeah," You say in just above a whisper.

"C'mere."

He pulls you back onto his lap. He doesn't even remember you climbing off of him. His tongue runs over his lips as he stares at you with hazy eyes.

Fuck, he's so hot.

You blink slowly, bringing your hands to his chest. You press your forehead against his and allow your eyes the fall shut. Wordlessly, you close the gap separating the two of you.

Your lips press against his softly. His hands circle your waist, holding you still on his lap. One of your hands comes up, cupping his cheek softly as the kiss intensifies.

It feels like there's a current flowing through your veins, electrifying your touches. You moan against his lips, tasting the sweetness of the honey on his tongue.

He's hardly touched you and you're throbbing. You can feel your panties dampening as the seconds pass and all he's done is kiss you. Luckily for you, he's enjoying this just as much as you are.

His hard cock pokes at your inner thigh. It twitches beneath the confines of his sweats, aching for more. His hands tug at your tank top.

You break the kiss for a moment, allowing him to pull your top off. You're not wearing anything else underneath, so your pierced tits sit pretty in front of him.

"Fuck..." He groans.

Your body feels hot. Your blood is overheating in your veins, rushing through your body. You feel lightheaded in the best way possible. Your entire body feels light like you're floating high up in the atmosphere.

He latches his mouth onto one of your tits. His warm tongue glides across the cold metal of your piercing, sending shivers through your body. You gasp at the initial contact, arching your back.

Such a simple act has never felt so good. Your core throbs with need, aching to be tended to properly. The sensation of his tongue gliding across your nipple drives you mad.

With a soft pop, he releases your hardened bud and moves on to the next. Your back arches again when his tongue glides across the cold piercing.

Your body grinds down on his very prominent bulge, creating friction to relieve the tension in your lower half. Fuck, it feels so good.

Even through the layer separating you two, you can already feel yourself getting closer to an orgasm. You can't remember the last time you've gotten this close this fast, and completely untouched? It's unheard of.

But everything around you feels like its intensity has been brought up by 100. Even through the layers, his cock brushes against your clit and you mewl, allowing soft cries of pleasure to evade your lips.

The music plays dimply in the background. The familiar sultry tune of a song by The Weeknd fills the room.

I'm fucking gone right now

I'm fucking gone right now

You suspect he must feel it too, because he stops and lifts you off his lips. He looks up at you with hazy eyes as his chest rises and falls. He's already breathless and panting from the sheer intensity of it all.

And when you break contact, you fucking whine. You never whine.

You're not the only one just barely holding onto your sanity. You see the wet patch on his sweatpants and feel your pussy throb again. Vernon feels like you're sucking all the life out of him and reviving him at the same time. He feels so much in this moment, his brain can't fully process anything but the pleasure and it's sending him into overdrive.

But he exhibits self-control nonetheless. After getting his hormones pumped up with that honey and high from the weed, he wasn't going to let his first orgasm be in his pants. He needs to experience it inside of you and it'll be so much more worth it. But not until he's had a taste/

From the mornin' to the evenin'

Complaints from the tenants

He lays you down on the couch, peeling off your sweatpants.

"Need to taste you," He breathes out.

He pulls off your damp panties, tossing them onto the floor as his body hovers over yours.

His mouth is practically watering. He can imagine the sweet taste of you on his tongue and it only makes his desire for you burn more. you pull at his shirt, bringing his face down to yours.

Your noses bump against one another.

Sky's gettin' cold, we're flying from the north

Rockin' with our city like a sold-out show

"Later," You groan. "I need you inside of me."

Your voice is soft, yet it's laced with pure unadulterated desperation. It's a kind of desire that burns in your chest and doesn't settle until it's fulfilled thoroughly.

It's not a want, but a need that your body craves. All your fuzzy mind can think about is him and the desire that courses through your body rampantly.

Fast life grippin'

Yeah, we still tippin'

He can't deny you, not when his cock is so hard and aching. It's practically tearing through the material of his sweats, twitching and pulsing against the fabric.

His hot bold pumps through his body, rushing toward his swollen cock. He needs you just as bad as you need him, he can have a taste later.

He nods, scrambling to pull off his shirt. You make it easier for him, pulling down his sweats and tossing them. His cock strains against his grey brief, wet stain even more prominent on the thinner layer.

Girls get timing

But behind closed doors, they get poles so rigid

You spread your legs for him, exposing your dripping wet pussy. His breath catches in his throat at the sight. He hardly touched you and you're already so wet.

More precum dribbles from the tip of his flushed cock. He can't take it anymore.

Cock in hand, he guides his length into you. The moment his tip brushes against you, he's a goner. The two of you shiver, moaning out in unison as his tip enters your walls.

It's electrifying and intense. He grips the plush couch above you, nails digging into the material to ground himself as he fills you up slowly.

He chokes on his breath, feeling the way your warmth envelopes him. He's suffocating, drowning in you and all your being. At this moment, he's not sure if it's the honey or the weed, or both, but the intensity and intimacy are almost unbearable in the way they consume both of you.

All that money, the money is the motive

All that money, the money she be foldin'

It's never felt this good before. You fear this is a high you'll be chasing for the rest of your life. The stretch of his cock is intense, it feels like he's splitting you open in the best way possible. When he slides in, you feel like you're above the clouds, as through he is stretching you out into a state of inexplicable bliss.

Your nails dig into the material of the couch next to you and you cry out when he fills you up properly. His tip nuzzles against the walls deep inside of you.

"Oh fuck," You whine.

Girl, put in work, girl girl put in work

The motion and intimacy of it all cause your brain to spin. It leaves you dizzy, overwhelmed by the chaotic emotions and sensations that somehow create a harmonious flow inside of you.

And when he bottoms out, it feels like he breathes life back into you. His hips snap back and he thrusts into you, knowing the air out of your lungs.

"Ah, shit," He moans.

You arch your back, letting out a sob that he forces out of your lungs.

Push it to the limit

Push it through the pain

Your entire being is filled with pure pleasure. Every motion build a sensation that courses through your entire body and satisfies something deep inside of you.

His nails dig deeper into the couch, nearly ruining the plush material. His arm hovers above you, muscles flexing as his body goes into overdrive at the addictive feeling of you.

I push it for the pleasure like a virgin to the game

He fits your legs up, placing them over his shoulder so he can drill into you deeper. Your lips can hardly form a coherent sound. You whine and cry out as he overwhelms you with pleasure.

Closer to the top

The higher that I climb

The harder imma drop

He drills into the spot deep inside of you that drives you mad. You're gushing around him, arousal coating his bare cock and dripping onto the couch. You could care less about the mess when he feels so good.

His cock is so sensitive, but he can't stop fucking you. He hasn't cum yet and your warmth is sucking him in so well. He fits you like a mold and he can feel the way your walls stretch round him. He can feel the way you gush and coat his cock with your arousal. He can feel everything and all he wants to do is bask in it.

His other hand slips between your thighs, gathering your wetness on the pads of his fingertip.

Shit I got them on straight bar hoppin'

To the music of the ambiance, get that shit poppin'

His thumb circles your clit in quick circles and your body shudders. You squirm beneath him, but the position he has you in makes it difficult for you to run.

His pace doesn't falter, fucking you thoroughly. He can't stop, pushing his cock into you over and over again, tip nudging against the deep patch that makes your legs shake.

Your eyes roll back into your head. "Ah-fuck ah. Vernon-uh!"

All that money, the money is the motive

All that money, the money she be foldin'

Girl put in work, girl, girl put in work

The jumble of emotions and sensations boil over inside of you. They're running rampant and pilling out and there's no way to suppress it. It overflows, tears spilling out of your eyes as you cry out to him.

Better slow down, she'll feel it in the morning

Ain't the kind of girl you'll be seein' in the mornin'

Too damn raw

It all builds and hits you instantly. It builds and erupts quicker than you can process. It all gathers in your lower tummy, pussy reaction to every sensation. You flutter around him, sucking him in deeper as he drills into you.

He fucks you through your orgasm, only pulling out momentarily when the rush of liquid flows out of you and covers his lower half. He's quick to fill you up again, ignoring the mess you've just made.

All that money, the money is the motive

All that money, the money she be foldin'

Girl put in work, girl, girl put in work

Your entire body spasms beneath him uncontrollably. He holds you in place, forcing you to lay there and take it, limiting your squirming. But it's so much, almost too much. Your body struggles to process everything that's happening. Your mind is hazy and your eyes roll deep into the back of your head.

It's the longest orgasm you've ever experienced. His hips don't let up, drawing out more from you until your body reaches exhaustion. Momentarily, you feel your consciousness slipping away. It’s a brief flicker, but you nearly find yourself passing out.

His hips roll steadily until his orgasm catches up to him. His body still craves for more, but the reaction catches up to him. "Oh fuck-fuck-fuck–fuuuuuck."

Much like yours, his orgasm is drawn out past experience. His hips move seemingly on their own, continuing to drill into you as he milks himself dry. His cock twitches as he empties himself into you.

The arm holding him up grows shaky and he struggles to support himself. His sweaty body falls on top of yours, chest rising as falling as he desperately draws air into his lungs.

Minutes go by before you two recover enough to move. He lifts himself onto his arms slowly, pulling out of you and sitting up on the couch. His cock is swollen and red, and still throbbing and hard. His cock aches for more, fighting against the exhaustion in his body and the haze in his mind.

Your body aches for more too, throbbing and tightening around nothing when he pulls out. You still feel the warmth in your blood, your body desperate for more despite its lack of recovery.

He looks at you with the same hazy look in his eyes. They're half-lidded, matching the desire in your pupils.

His body hovers over yours once again. He breathes deeply, licking his lips slowly. His cock twitches, pressing against your inner thigh. You blink at him slowly, half-lidded eyes sucking him in more.

Without wasting another second, his lips are on yours again. It's intoxicating, drawing you in deeper and deeper. You can't help yourselves, repeatedly laying it into one another into the hours of the night. In the kitchen, on the floor ,and on the balcony before finding ends meet in the bedroom.

Your desire for each other overpowers everything until you come down, sweaty bodies maxxing out from exhaustion in each other's arms.

—————————————————————————

© number1mingyustan - Do not repost without permission.

[hanckocks-dagger]

(In other words)

masterlist

John Hancock x gn!Reader

Description: While high on Hancock's couch, you get ready to tell him you're leaving Goodneighbor tomorrow. Trouble is, the thought of kissing him just keeps distracting you.

Tags: First kiss, getting together, Hancock is a simp. Reader could be viewed as SoSu or not. No pronouns used for reader, no use off y/n

Warnings: Recreational drug use (jet), smoking, canon typical swearing.

Cross posted on my ao3!

You were leaving Goodneighbor tomorrow. Sitting idle made you antsy, and it had already been several days since the urge to wander had struck. You'd only stuck around because... well.

"You want another hit?" Hancock asked from the other end of the couch, head lolling on the back of it, dark eyes turned to yours, canister of jet held out to you.

After a long moment of consideration, your jet-addled brain working overtime to comprehend, you shook your head mutely. Hancock shrugged his shoulder and stuck the canister into his mouth.

"Fhoot-eulf," He said incomprehensibly around the spout, then pressed down on the mechanism. His whole body sagged further into the couch, somehow managing to look even calmer than he had after the last three hits of Jet. Even if ghouls really did have higher chem resistance than lowly humans like yourself, you were sure Hancock topped them all. You'd had one Jet to his four, and he'd also spent the morning working his way through a Brandy bottle, which you'd always found made your heavy-limbed high feel a little more like paralysis than a comforting buzz.

Probably a good ten seconds after Hancock had spoken, you let out a muffled, "hmm?", cheek smushed into the couch so you could keep staring at him.

Those black eyes, momentarily distracted by the Jet in his hands, turned to find yours again, crinkled at the corners. His smile, ever charming, lingered on the verge of turning mean. He did like to tease you about being a lightweight.

Instead, he leant to the edge of the couch and hooked you by your socked feet, tugging them into his lap, dragging you a few inches closer to him.

"Nothing, sweetheart."

He patted one of your knees placatingly, the way one pet a startled a horse. Or (you thought, a few painfully slow seconds later), that was to say, the way one used to pet a startled horse. Seeing as they were extinct now, or possibly mutated into something hideously unrecognizable.

Hancock's hand, warm on your knee, disappeared after a minute. Or after a few seconds, seeing as trying to keep a grasp on time on Jet was a losing game. He dug into his pocket, pulling out a crumpled pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Ever generous, he offered you one. You nodded, but could seem to make your hand rise up to take it from him.

He grinned, placing it between his lips. You wanted to disagree with this, but your vocal chords didn't want to respond either, and no words were coming to mind anyway. Sober, you would realize these were the classic signs of the Jet comedown, that momentary disconnect between body and mind, which unnerved you enough to take a few days off before finally succumbing to Hancock's next offer.

High, though, you were left to watch as Hancock raised the lighter to the cigarette, lighting it with a deep inhale, before plucking it from his mouth and passing it over. He blew the smoke teasingly into your face, laughing when you scrunched your nose in distaste.

"All the drugs a person could need. A warm bed, semi-clean streets." He said, a new cigarette between his teeth, "Honestly, I don't know why outsiders are always badmouthing Goodneighbor. Best fucking place in the Commonwealth."

Slowly, like an overloaded computer rebooting, your body came back online. You picked the cigarette from your lips, flicked ash from the end of it, ignored the thought of how it had been in his mouth before yours.

"You might be a bit biased, Hancock."

He laughed back at you, gravelly, that mix of ghoul and smoker and just pure... him.

He had been dropping these comments increasingly over the last few days, probably picking up at your unease. It was probably why he had suggested the two of you stay up in his office getting high for the night instead of going down to the Third Rail. Crowds made you antsy, the heat from bodies and the din of echoing small talk reminding you all the more of the open, fresh air you were missing.

Hancock was clever, he knew what was coming even without you spelling it out for him. Over the months since you'd discovered Goodneighbor, you'd been crashing in the Statehouse whenever you found your way to this area of Boston, preferring it to the stifling atmosphere of Diamond City. (Or so you told yourself, the truth might be you preferred the company).

He also clearly knew some of the affinity you held for him, the way you'd let him charm you into sticking around almost a week after you'd planned to leave.

"Still," He said, "One of the better places to be, hmm? Well, as long as you stay on the Mayor's good side." He winked at you.

Yet, he was too proud to come right out and beg for you to stay.

You could always ask him what he wanted. But you worried that his answer might be enough to sway you.

"Oh yeah," You deflected instead, ignoring the spark his wink shot down your spine, ordering your traitorous heart not to beat faster. "Heard the guy's a bit of a dick."

"Oh, he's a lot worse than that," His hand snuck back onto your leg, making a slow path up your calf, "But not to pretty things like you."

It was your turn to laugh, ignoring the heating in your cheeks, ignoring the goosebumps his touch left in it's wake. "John," You said, mock scandalized, "I thought you were an intellectual. Is a pretty face really all it takes?"

He had been slowly easing closer to you, or maybe he had been pulling you closer to him. When he leant over to stub his cigarette, his shoulder brushed yours.

"'M not easy. But I'm smart enough to know that when you find something this pretty in an ugly world, you hold on tight." He'd moved in close, hand reaching your upper thigh. With the other, he plucked the cigarette from your lips, down nearly to the filter, and flicked it to the side, not breaking eye contact. You could feel his breath tickling your nose, smelling like cigarettes and the slightly metallic taste jet left in your mouth. It made you lightheaded, entire mind screaming that he was about to kiss you, finally, after months of flirting and opportunities neither one of you had taken.

Instead, though, he squeezed your thigh and pulled back, eyes trained on you, a curious glint in them, like he was watching your reaction.

For just a moment, like you were a magnet following his pull, you followed after him, hand sliding downwards as if to bring his hand back to where it had been, keep it there, keep him there.

Then, the rational part of your brain, offline since before you'd accepted that hit of Jet, kicked in, screaming at you about everything that could go wrong. Taking this from a friendship to... something more would complicate everything. You didn't have the time or the energy to spend on a relationship, you didn't want to be chained to a settlement. If word got out about your... whatever it would be, you might lose out on deals with some of the seedier members of the community, you might lose trust with others. In other places, a relationship with a Ghoul might even be enough to have you barred from entry.

But, a traitorous voice from the back of your mind whispered, none of those really mattered. The truth of it was, after everything that had happened to you, if you were to let this go any further and something were to happen to him, it would break you.

So, you pulled back, shutting your eyes and taking a steadying breath. Your hand, halfway to grabbing his, stopped and balled into a fist, dropping back to your side.

You wracked your brain for something to say, something joking to diffuse the tension and return things to the way they were.

You heard Hancock shift besides you and allowed yourself a little breath of relief, assuming he'd gotten the hint and backed off, tired of waiting for someone who chickened out at every opportunity.

Instead, though, you were surprised to find his warm hand on your cheek, felt the corner of his hat press softly against your forehead. You opened your eyes, found him looking at you, almost desperate.

"Maybe I'm wrong," he started, voice pitched low and quiet, less sure of himself than you were used to, "In which case you just tell me. But I get the feeling it ain't that. I see the way you looked at me. I know you know how I've been looking at you."

You swallowed, traitorous body responding before your mind can butt in. You nodded, hand coming to grasp onto his bicep, wanting more than anything for him to move closer, to remove the patch of air the two of you were both breathing.

"So tell me," His voice had dropped to a whisper, like he was speaking with a startled animal. "Why won't you kiss me?"

You exhaled, a shaky thing. For some reason your eyes stung, and suddenly you were fighting off the urge to cry. Your grip on Hancock's arm tightened, not wanting him to let go.

Words escaped you, but you worried he'd take your silence the wrong way. You used your free hand to move the front of his hat high enough that it wouldn't poke you and leant your forehead to his. You shut your eyes again, partly to hide the tears that you couldn't seem to stop from forming, partly to embrace the moment better.

Hancock's thumb stroked slowly across your cheekbone. He whispered your name. Worried your voice would break, you nodded against him, eyes still squeezed shut, afraid of moving from this moment, of going forward or pulling back.

Quiet, he said, "Please kiss me."

You dug down, finding the person who sleeps under the open sky of the wasteland, who fights off hordes of ferals, sneaks through Gunner camps, takes on Deathclaws and survives.

You pressed your lips to his.

Warm, softer than you had envisioned, just like the man himself. Hancock's other hand rose to your cheek, so he was cupping your face in his hands, pulling you even closer. You let him take the lead, tilting your head gently, licking against your lips. You opened your lips for him easily, your hands wrapping around the back of his neck, leaving the two of you chest to chest, you halfway in his lap as he licked into your mouth, ravenous as if he had been starving for you.

You never wanted it to end, wanted to spend every moment of the rest of your life pressed to him, feeling his hands on you, his lips on yours, his tongue exploring your mouth.

When the tears slipped out, you almost thought it wouldn't matter, thinking you could keep the kiss going, sure you would survive without breathing, so long as he didn't stop kissing you.

But then a hitching sob rose from your chest and you were pulling away despite yourself, tucking your wet face into the crook of his neck. His hands wrapped around your waist, settling you properly against him.

You swallowed any other rogue sounds, blinked rapidly to try to rid yourself of the tears, trying to pull yourself together so you could face Hancock again. One of his hands was rubbing soothingly along your back, the other having worked it's way up to your hair, gentle fingers smoothing out tangles, rubbing along your scalp.

It took longer than you would have liked to pull yourself together, and a bit longer than that to gather the courage to look at Hancock, sniffling lightly.

His smile was tight, self conscious, as if he genuinely believed you could have been crying because of his kiss.

You didn't even let him get through his dejected, "That bad, huh?" before you were spitting it out, desperate for him to understand that it wasn't his fault, "I'm leaving Goodneighbor tomorrow." You got it out fast, as if it left a bad taste on your tongue.

He blinked, insecurity fading from his expression, replaced by genuine confusion.

You continued, desperate to repair your faux-pas, to make him understand your thought process, why it would lead you to tears; "This just... makes it that much harder to go."

You ran your hand down his chest, anxiously fiddling with the stitching on his lapels, "Hanc- John, please believe me, I've been wanting to do that for fucking ages, I just-"

The gentle press of his lips against yours cut you off, a quick press of heat and then gone again. This time you did chase after him, managing to get in a peck against upturned lips before he was pulling away.

It was your turn to be confused, pulling back to look at his smiling face, wondering if all that drug use had finally fried his brain.

"That's what's got you so worried?" He asked, voice soft.

You blinked at him before giving a small nod, expecting him to tell you to just stay with him, pressure already building behind your eyes as you imagined explaining to him that you just weren't made for sitting idle.

"So, then, when do we leave?"

"We?" You whispered, not trusting your voice.

"If you're alright with delaying the departure a bit, I should probably wait for the ne'er do wells to sleep off the hangover to give a little speech, pretty sure it's bad form for the Mayor to up and vanish. Then again, it's me we're talkin' about, they should know better than to–"

You pressed your lips to his, partly from exhilaration, partly for him to shut up long enough for you to process the information he'd presented you with. You'd never considered asking Hancock to leave his town. In your mind, he was Goodneighbor, the very best of it.

You pull away, running a finger across Hancock's cheek, feeling the muscles jump under you as he gives you a soft smile.

"Are you sure?" You ask.

"Love, I'd like to see anyone try to stop me."

Notes:

Thanks for reading! Please leave me a comment, or request something, or just come chat with me!

[johnbrand]

Cycle of Corruption

With @aismoker

Seb did not hesitate, flicking the lighter and bringing its open flame up to the tip of his cigarette. He had never smoked before, never had the intention to smoke before. Seb did not know anyone who smoked, and from an early age his family had preached about the dangers of nicotine. But here he was, the freshly-purchased pack of Marlboros sitting beside him as he took in his first inhalation.

Just as his blogger bro had warned Seb, that first breath was harsh, the smoke roughly scratching at his throat. But his bro had instructed him to keep going, push through the first cigarette. If it was still a little scratchy, have a second. Heck, go through the whole pack. He promised that Seb would notice the change once it came. His throat would surrender, allowing the smoke to smoothly caress itself along the walls like syrup.

Seb assumed he must have appeared strange to the passersby. Some looked at him with the common disdain that was given to all smokers, whether they were newbies or veterans. Some noticed the slightly-above average male and took a second to appreciate him, but then noticed the cigarette between his fingers and shied away. Seb was athletic, kept in shape, but he was nothing extraordinary. Just a lucky genetic draw. But his bro promised Seb it would all change. Smoking would make him what he craved to be: a real man.

Seb could not recall how it had all started. It seemed like only weeks ago he had been scrolling through content online, just passing each blog one by one as he had done countless times before. When he came upon a new blog in his feed though, one boasting of the joys and transformative properties of smoking, he was intrigued. Who in this day and age was promoting nicotine, especially at such a level to create fanfiction of Marlboro? With nothing better to do, Seb explored the page, and before he knew it hours had passed. He had become enthralled, blissfully unaware that a latent addiction had been awoken.

Seb continued to visit the blog, fascinated by the opinions and captions shared by the creator. Eventually, he reached out, and was surprised when the blogger quickly responded back. The blogger, an avid smoker and certified bro-type, was happy to explain his perspective and ideology, further enrapturing the pupil in Seb. It did not take much longer from there until his bro instructed him to purchase his first package of Marlboros, and now on his third cigarette, Seb’s world was beginning to expand.

Enlightened, Seb immediately sent a message to his bro, who responded back with knowledgeable confidence. His bro explained that this was his first stepping stone towards manhood, tying back to their discussions in the past. The blogger had uncovered the definition of masculinity to Seb through pictures of smoking men and by outlying the connections between nicotine and the alpha male. And at that very moment, as he was no longer resisting the smoke's phantom embrace coursing through his veins, Seb finally began to understand his bro’s perspective.

From there, the vicious cycle of corruption erupted. With the continued encouragement from his bro, Seb continued to purchase pack after pack of Marlboros until he began to do it automatically. The process engrained itself as a part of his system, the nicotine like a parasite adding one extra item to his mental to-do lists. And the smoking too, a catalyst initiated by his bro, shifted the direction of Seb’s fate, readjusting his life’s path towards new objectives.

Once the addiction took its permanent residence, things began to change. The smoke physically undertook a reconstruction of its host, creating a suitable body to contain its poisonous splendor. Seb’s musculature grew, his body strengthening a little more with every pack. As his bro reminded him, alpha men smoked, so if he was to smoke, by scientific law he would become an alpha. Larger, broader, naturally commanding a presence. As the years passed, his beard grew in, his body hair grew denser, and his attitude grew smug.

Thanks to the smoking, Seb’s relationships changed too. Family members and people he was once close with grew afraid of his new habits, offering help before simply disappearing from his life. His bro had assured Seb that this was simply for the best; their fear for the emerging alpha did not make them worthy of embracing the better him. With this, his bro helped Seb find new men to socialize with, fellow smokers who could laugh and indulge in their superior lifestyle, discussing the worldly topics around masculinity as smoke coated their interiors.

Seb’s corruption furthered, the addiction consuming him before eventually, almost a decade to the day after his first cigarette, he found himself running his own online blog preaching the revelations of smoking. Now sturdier, gruffer, and wiser, he was delighted when a young blogger popped anonymously into his inbox asking a few questions about his perspective. Seb was happy to indulge, knowing soon he would be enlightening the young man onto his own nicotine journey. And what better way to celebrate such a success than by having a smoke.

[probablysimpledreams]

I'm With the Band (Band AU Dabi x reader)

a/n: EEEK I love LOV band au so much punk Touya is literally my boyfriend my muse my obsession I'm so happy I finally sat down and write a fic about him <33

cw: substances (alcohol, weed, and I always have to give Touya a cigarette LOL)

wc: 1169

"AH I'm so nervous come take this shot with me!!" your friend panicked as she jumped around the apartment kitchen. You chuckle as you accept the shot glass she hands you. Your friend has spent all day running around full of excitement and nerves as tonight she was finally meeting the guy she met online a few months ago. It just so happens that Tenko, or better known as "discord boyfriend" between you two, and his band were the opening act at a small venue nearby. You decided to attend the concert with her to offer moral support, and to make sure this guy was legit and wasn't going to kidnap your beautiful friend.

"It's going to be fine," you reassure her. "I've seen the messages that man is obsessed with you," you two clink glasses and take the shot of liquor. "You have nothing to worry about."

"Mmmmm I'm just so worried ahhh take another shot with me," your friend grabs the bottle as you roll your eyes. "Please?"

After another shot, quick smoke break, and one more pep-talk you, you two finally left the apartment. The Uber ride was about ten minutes which you were grateful for because if it had been any longer you're sure your friend would have talked herself out of going.

You two thank the driver, giggling while entering the venue. It was a nice spot, featuring two small bars and a large space for everyone to gather around the stage.

"Ohmygod there he is!" your friend whispered, pointing towards the stage as his group walked on. Since the main group wasn't going on for another hour and a half, the venue was not very crowded yet. You wasted no time grabbing your friends' hand as you ran up close to the stage. You smiled watching the two interact before the set started. You also couldn't help but notice that the bassist to Tenko's right would not stop looking at you. You smiled at him, causing him to break his gaze away from you, moving to fiddle with his instrument until the drummer came out.

"We are the L.O.V, here to carry out Stain's legacy of rock n' roll," their drummer Iguchi exclaimed before banging his drum sticks together. "LETS GET FUCKING HYPED!!" The crowd cheered as the band broke out into song. You sing along as you recognize the song from the times your friend has played it, happily showing off her boyfriend and his singing talent. But man hearing it live was such a different experience! Between the amazing sound and all the alcohol you consumed before arriving, you couldn't help but get lost in the moment. You danced happily alongside your friend, singing the words to every song they played. You couldn't help but notice the wide smirk on the mysterious bassist's face accompanied by his shiny blue eyes stuck on you throughout the set.

Once their set was over and everyone cheered, your friend ran off to meet up with Tenko. By now the venue was getting more crowded, so you decided to slip outside to catch some fresh air. As you stood in the smoking section, you happily remembered the untouched joint sitting in your jacket pocket. Sadly that happiness was short lived as you realized you didn't pack a lighter alongside it.

"Need a light?" a deep voice caused you to jump before turning your head to see who approached you. The bassist snickered at this reaction, lighting his own cigarette before holding the flame out so you could light your joint. You thank him with a quiet hum and take a puff, moving closer to him. "Saw you and your little friend dancing out there. It looked like you enjoyed our show a lot." Despite the confidence in his voice, you couldn't help but notice the way his hands were shaking nervously.

"My friend is dating your lead singer, so I had no choice but to get into your music," you teased.

"So I'm wrong in calling you a fan?" he raised an eyebrow, smirk never leaving his face. Now that you were right next to him, you were able to get a better look at him. He was tall and lanky, yet still looked very strong. He was covered in piercings, tattoos, and scars accompanied by ripped black jeans, battle vest, and distressed v-neck shirt. You were now very thankful your friend had convinced you to drink and smoke as much as you had tonight or else you would have not had the confidence to stand here and talk to the gorgeous man.

"Oh no I'm definitely a fan," you smile, taking another puff. "Helps that the bassist is so attractive." You tried your hardest to keep up a calm and sexy demeanor despite your heart trying to jump out of your chest. You were not going to fumble this!! "Though I'm sure you get that a lot."

"Yeah I hear it quite often," he chuckles, removing his cigarette from between his lips before moving in closer to you. His face was now inches away from your own, making your eyes widen. "But it's not everyday I hear it from someone as pretty as you." You felt like you were about to faint upon hearing his words, making him snicker. Before either of you could speak again, a loud crash from behind the building caught everyone's attention.

"Can someone in this band keep their dick in their pants for ONE SECOND and help me load the truck?" Iguchi angrily yelled as he loaded up a massive speaker onto the band's truck.

"Yeah Touya get over here! Hey man don't interrupt him and his game!" the man in the driver's seat called out.

"Touyaaaaa get that cutie's number!!" a young girl in buns sitting in the passenger seat chimed in. She giggled as he flicked both of them off before turning back to face you, cheeks tinted light pink.

"These idiots can't do a damn thing without me," he huffed, reaching into pocket. He grabbed his pack of cigarettes and handed one to you. You looked at him confused before flipping it over where you noticed a phone number written down. He mouthed "call me," making a phone with his hands as he ran off to help pack up the truck.

Your heart fluttered as you happily went back inside to reunite with your friend, the two of you heading back to your apartment to debrief how the night went.

--------------

The next morning you had to remind yourself that the previous was not a dream, and you did in fact get Touya's number. You grab the cigarette off the night stand and typed in his phone number.

"Hello?"

"So you just keep your number on cigarettes? Bet all your fans love that," you laugh.

"Pretty romantic huh?" you can practically hear the smile as he responds. "But that's not something I usually do. See baby, you're special. Couldn't let you get away that easily."

[bsdawgz]

「 ✦ You Get Me So High… ✦ 」 Bungo Stray Dogs, Port Mafia: Michizō Tachihara

a/n: story would not exist without THIS idea from @mrsnakaj1ma, thank you sm Jessi for giving me permission to write it out ♡

genre: nasty cuz i’m a slut for tachihara

content: f!reader. MDNI! drug (marijuana) usage. dry humping + he cums in his pants.

summary: you and your best friend, tachihara, share a joint and discover you’re attracted to each other… really attracted to each other

(literal fuck around and find out moment)

"C'mon, he's not worth it. He's not – and stop checking your fuckin' phone already." Your best friend, Tachihara, mutters as he keys into your apartment, tossing his bag on the floor.

It's now been exactly one week. One whole fucking week since the guy you matched with online last texted you back. What was wrong with you? Why didn't he like you anymore?

Your thoughts are about to spiral downward but Tachihara interrupts them, suddenly interjecting, "Damn, you let guys in here with your apartment looking like this?" as he points out the stack of dirty dishes in your kitchen sink that you've yet to wash and the mud track on the wooden floor by the pile of shoes.

"Yeah, as if your place is any better." You roll your eyes, hanging your jacket up in the closet by the door. "Those are your dishes, by the way. Your mess. So get to cleaning. And pick up your damn bag."

He scoffs. Then, with a disgruntled sigh, "Yes, ma'am," He sets his bag politely next to the sofa and starts cleaning, just like you asked. You grin at him smugly, making him side-eye you as you dry the dishes beside him. "What?" he snaps, irritated.

"Wow, look at you, following orders. This what they make you do in the Black Lizard?" You tease, making him roll his eyes in annoyance as you push him to the side with your shoulder playfully. "Here, let me take care of the rest of them."

Situating himself on the sofa, you hear the TV turn on in the background, then watch as Tachihara shuffles through his bag for a grinder. Reaching into his pocket, he out a small ziploc bag with buds, then glances up at you with a grin on his face. "You wanna smoke?"

"Of course," you respond with a smirk, shaking off the water from your hands as you make yourself comfortable beside him. "When have I ever said no to weed?"

As he rolls you a joint, you fumble through his bag for his lighter. "Here," he says, passing it to you and leaning in close to light it as you bring it to your lips. You sigh and take a long drag, then sink into the sofa before passing the joint back to him.

"Ugh, look." You point to your phone, groaning. "Still no text."

Taking a hit of his own, he snatches the TV remote. "God, just shut up and watch a movie with me. Stop thinking about that prick." Scrolling through the selections mindlessly, he picks the first thing on your recommended list.

"Listen–" you start, but he cuts you off, rolling his eyes again.

"Look. You're funny. You're nice. You're fun to be around. And you're hot, too. Okay? Now, pay attention to me and watch the movie. Jesus."

You shut up immediately, thrown off guard by what he said and the casual way he said it, and flustered by his words – but Tachihara pays you no mind, taking another hit and passing the joint back to you. You relax, figuring it must have been some friendly compliment, then grin to yourself as an idea comes to mind. "Close the windows. Let's hotbox this place."

It's not long until your apartment is filled with smoke, and you're giggling way too much at a joke that wasn't even that funny, your head resting on Tachihara's shoulder as he puffs out another cloud of smoke. "God, he wasn't even that cute," you laugh, burying your nose in Tachihara's neck. "He wasn't even cute!" He passes the joint to you, and you gladly take another dizzying hit, one that makes you cough out loud.

He chuckles softly at your realization, rubbing your back as you cough. "I told you, you have terrible taste in men."

"Oh yeah?" you tease, blowing a steady stream of smoke in his face. "You must be pretty terrible, then."

He smirks at your remark, feeling cocky now that you've both admitted you're attracted to each other. "Yeah, you think I'm cute, then?" he asks, taking another hit and bringing his face close – close enough to exchange smoke past your parted lips. Close enough to kiss you, even.

"Yeah," you murmur, then suddenly, he's pulling you into his lap and you're straddling him, and his lips are on yours. Soft, sweet lips. He kisses you so well, you wonder who the hell Tachihara could possibly be kissing when you're always on his ass about how he never gets girls. You grip him by his t-shirt and pull him closer, then you feel his hands travel down and squeeze your ass.

– Holy fuck. You definitely didn't think you'd be doing this with your best friend, but it feels too good to stop.

Your kisses grow hungrier. You feel his fingers grasp the side of your neck, hear his raspy breath in your ear. His lips are on your neck, then his teeth are skimming your skin, and you can feel his tongue teasing you before he's sucking splotches of red on your most sensitive spots. "God, Michi – fuck," you moan, tugging onto his hair and exchanging places with him.

He gasps when he feels your mouth on his own neck. You feel his body tense up underneath you, his fingertips digging into your thighs as you kiss him. He's making these soft moans, sounds you've never heard from him and never thought you'd ever hear from him, and all you can think about is how you wanna make him make more of them. "Hah, fuck," you hear him pant as he throws his head back, his hands intertwining in your hair. He rolls your hips against his, and you feel his dick pressing firmly against you through his sweats. “You’re so fucking hot.”

You can't help but wonder what his dick looks like, if he’s big. He definitely feels big… He feels… good. So good, the blunt head thrusting at you desperately as you grind against him, his name spilling out your lips while you’re clinging to him.

And his name sounds so natural coming from you. Unbelievably natural. He’s never heard you say his name like that. Now that you’re moaning out for him, just for him, the wet spot in his boxers is spreading. He’s warm all over as you reach for him. As you grope him through his sweats. As you kiss him, kiss him in all the right places that have him groaning into your ear –

The movie is background noise now, a quiet buzz that’s drowned out by the sound of his ragged breath. You’re both so high and horny for each other. You’re rutting against him like you’re in heat, and he’s thrusting up at you through his clothes, grabbing your ass roughly while the TV flickers to that empty grey screen. “Are you still watching?” it asks. Of course the fuck not. You stopped watching the minute Tachihara’s lips were on yours.

Then, you feel him twitch under you, hips convulsing, and his eyes go wide as he realizes what’s happening. “Wait – oh, shit… I’m…”

He sits up suddenly, then pushes you off his lap quickly. Then, he looks down where his sweats are now soaked through in cum.

“Ah, fuck –!”

© BSDAWGZ 2024. Do not steal or repost ANY of my works! That’s plagiarism, and it’s mean. :(( Beautiful dividers by @ v6que~!

[betterinvienna]

Hello, I don't know if you are taking requests but I was wondering if you could make a female reader x Aki Hayakawa where they are both a couple (they have been dating for a while) and she moves in with him so she helps him deal with his roommates (including Nayuta because she is very cute) I don't know if I explained myself well, do what you want hahaha I only ask that it be fun and fluffy

pink cheeks and hot coffee | aki hayakawa x reader

synopsis: 8 months ago, in the cold Tokyo snow, you met him. Time-skip, and you're moving in with him, and meeting the people closest to him. Aki Hayakawa truly is a rom-com dream.

[ 2.8k words — fluff — no warnings ]

author's note:

uuuugh this took me a month to complete im so sorry to who requested this i've been infinitely busy :( changed some stuff up & left some key aspects of the request out, so let me know if you want me to continue this story rather than stop here. + not sure if this is ooc or not. fujimoto took my babies away from me so i havent seen their personality in forever dont beat me up pls

8 months ago, you met Aki Hayakawa in the café a block from your apartment. Having just moved to Tokyo, you needed something familiar – thankfully, cafés are essentially the same everywhere. He ordered his coffee black – and you only remembered because that’s weird, ew – and shot you two fleeting glances before awkwardly returning to staring out the window. 

Ten minutes later, you saw him leave a nice sum of yen on the table, exiting the café with a ding as he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket. Naturally, cigarettes repel you – secondhand smoke, ew again – but you shrugged and slid out of your booth, leaving the money necessary to cover your meal and then some, your shoes crunching the snow as you left the warm café. To be fair, you just wanted to test your luck – he’s cute and you like to talk. The worst he could do is start running in the opposite direction.

“Hi.” You breathed, cold fog punctuating your words.

He gave you a quizzical look, almost annoyed, even, and you chewed down on your bottom lip, regretting your bold choice already. He returned his gaze to his cigarette, flicking on the lighter and directing it to the end of the stick.

“Hello. Can I help you?” 

“Right. Sorry. I noticed you –” You drew a blank. What’d you notice? Quick! Lie – he’s too cute. “Had the new Onitsukas. I like the, um, colorway. Black and grey. Suits your vibe.” You gesture to his black and grey Onitsuka Tigers, laced with matching black threads. 

“Oh.” Confusion settled deeper into the man’s face, but a fresh pink tint decorated his cheeks. “Right.” He looked down, kicking some snow around and checking out his Tigers as if he forgot they were there. “Thank you.”

“I’m a big shoe fan myself, you know.” What a lie. You gave him a meek smile and kicked your Isabel Marants into the air for him to see. “The viral ones. Sold out everywhere. Couldn’t get them anywhere – well, except for one place. I stood in the rain for these.” Another lie. You ordered these online on a whim, because your best friend, Lou, said they’d look good on you and you were desperate for some new fashion options.

“Uh… okay,” His ears were red by now. Are you annoying him? Why did you think he cared about shoes? Get this guy’s number and get out of here. “That’s cool.”

You scratch your neck, running out of things to say. Ugh. Whatever. “I’m kind of new here. I was hoping I could get a friend or two, so, um…” you press your lips together, digging your phone out of your jacket’s pocket. His lips curled faintly upward when he saw your Sonny Angel glued to the back of your stickered phone case, but you handed him the overly decorated phone and pulled up the keypad screen anyway, hoping he got the gist.

Thankfully, he did. Aki snuffed the cigarette out under his shoe and sniffed through his frost-nipped, red nose. “Uh, I’m Aki. Aki Hayakawa.” He finally gave you a lopsided, awkward grin as he turned your phone back to you – with his number typed in it. Score! Cute guy’s number in your phone on just week 2 in Tokyo. Seems the ¥1.7k spent on YesStyle for this new-and-hip lip tint didn’t go to waste.

You nodded, smiling as you stared at the white numbers. By now, passersby were starting to notice your awkward exchange, but when have you ever been able to keep your mouth shut? “Thank you – I’ll text you. Also, why do you order your coffee black?” 

—

aki my baby: I’m going to stop by the corner store before I come over to help you pack. Do you want anything?

You roll over on your bed and pick up your phone, checking out the notification. Behind it, a picture of you and your boyfriend, Aki, on a Ferris wheel. Aki is pictured with a downwards smile and a comically large corndog in hand, while you grin ear to ear, holding up a peace sign. It’s a beautiful picture, with all the night city lights in the back and your hair blowing just right in the high wind. You stare at your room, boxes vacant of any item when today is your move-in day. You should probably stop reminiscing and get on that.

You: no ty

aki my baby: ??? Are you sure?

aki my baby: [1 Attachment]

A picture of your favorite gummy bears. Okay, it looks like you forgot that. Aki: 1. You: 0.

You: omg

You: wait

You: yes those ones

You: thank u. i love u… ( ͒  ́ඉ .̫ ඉ ̀  ͒)...

aki my baby: I love you too. See you in a bit.

It’s been maybe two and a half years into your relationship with Aki Hayakawa, and you already have a vision board in your closet for the wedding. Well, no, not really, but now that the idea has come up… you’re seriously considering it. 

Aki is like a dream-come-true, rom-com movie kind of boyfriend – that boy next door, best friend’s older brother vibe. He’s almost fake. Your life right now is what 13-year-old you watched through a screen, and you love that – and him. He knows your favorite flowers, favorite TV show, favorite movie, favorite book, all 20 of your favorite songs, which lyrics you like most out of each of them, and how many times you cried over losing your favorite hoodie – which he promptly found 2 hours later because he was there, front and center, to count all of the times you cried – making him the perfect boyfriend. To top off this quintessential boyfriend act, he – reluctantly – offered you a spot at his place, since you got tired of everything breaking down at yours. However, there is one thing missing.

Aki had previously refused to let you meet his three friends – roommates? Siblings? Children? Whatever. All that you know of them is that they cause a ton of trouble for him. 

You just brushed it off. I mean, who are you to request for even more of his personal life than however much you know right now? But… you’ve always been just a little curious. Anyone would want to show off their girlfriend, right? 

They sound interesting enough from the tales Aki tells you. He only spoke of them in passing: a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the bathtub, sleeping on the toilet, roleplaying as a “queen” and her lowly subordinates, and an overwhelming number of dogs. You have to meet them. It’s a risible concept really – how’d he end up with them if he’s so… reserved? Then again, how’d he end up with you?

Di-i-uhh—thunk!

Oh. Right. The doorbell is broken too.

“I’m coming!” Two and a half years ago, the doorbell made the same, ugly “thunk” sound when Aki came to pick you up for the date – or hangout, whatever you wanna call it – that made you official, so you supposed it was alright to leave it broken. For memories. 

It was on the rooftop of your apartment building, so you didn’t think anything special of it – until he started dropping indirect, heavy hints like “You’re so pretty… uh, you always have been,” followed up by “You’d be even prettier as my girlfriend.” Well, the latter was mumbled under his breath, and you had to fill in the blanks, so you’re not 100% sure if you’re quoting it verbatim. Regardless, it was cute, he was – is – cute, and his personality is cute – which checks all of your boxes. So, you said yes. And in the end, the doorbell never got fixed. He asked you about it a couple of months ago, and instead of telling him the whole story, you just told him it was important that it was kept that way. He didn’t question you any further, because you started shoving this new recipe you found on Instagram into his mouth.

“Hi, baby,” This long, yet your stomach still flips at his every word.

“Hi,” By now, you’re practically cheesing. He steps aside and invites himself into the apartment he practically shares – well, now shared – with you.

“You haven’t packed?” Oh. Too busy eating chips and watching random re-runs of your favorite TV shows, but you won’t tell him that.

“What?” You look around, feigning innocence, and throw your hands up with a smile. “Sooooorry. I’ll get on it now. With you here, it’ll be super fast.” At this, Aki just smiled and shook his head, putting his house slippers on (I told you, he practically shared this apartment with you) and shuffled into your kitchen, leaning on the island.

“I talked to my, uh, roommates today.” He said, scratching the side of his neck.

Your eyes widen. “You’re just now telling them I’m moving in?” 

Aki slid his tongue over his teeth and loosened his grip on the counter behind him, watching you. “Yeah. You know Denji – well, no, you don’t, not yet – but he’s been dying to meet you for a while now, and if I told him too early, he’d never shut up about you moving in until you did.” 

You smiled at him, shoving some stuff into the boxes in your living room. “Denji sounds like more fun than you are,” you joked. “Are you gonna come and help me pack, or are you here to watch me do it?”

He sighed, walking over to the empty box adjacent to yours. “This is unpaid labor. Definitely illegal.”

“You came here, willingly.” You pointed out, then leaned over to give him a quick peck on the cheek. “There. I paid you. Totally legal.”

Aki points to his lips. “That’s minimum wage. I deserve a bonus, since I’m working last minute, don’t I?”

—

“That’s the last one.” Aki huffed and smoothed out his incredible slick back and stick-up ponytail, looking over at you in shorts, the huge t-shirt you stole from him, and slippers that are definitely overdue a replacement.

“I told you we should’ve hired movers.” You sneered and rolled your eyes, sweat lining your eyebrows as the hot sun poured onto the two of you. You hopped into the van's passenger seat, immediately pulling down the sunshade and basking in the coolness.

“You have every home decor item from every home decor store in every city in Japan and probably beyond in your house. I wasn’t anticipating that.” Aki reached down to put the car in reverse, backing out of the parking spot. “Plus, I did most of the heavy work.”

You rested your tilted head on your propped arm on the center console of the car, fighting back a giggle – not gonna give him the satisfaction of a joke that actually landed for once. “You’re so sassy.”

“You like it.”

“...Whatever.”

—

Before entering the complex, Aki gave you a stringent set of rules and a rather cohesive oral rundown of how your meeting with Denji and the others is going to go. The former was on a piece of paper, written in oddly legible chicken scratch. On the top, there was a directory of sorts of all 3 of his roommates, paired with rough doodles of their images. It read as follows:

NO screaming with Denji, Power, or Nayuta.

Do NOT ask Nayuta about the dog’s personalities, names, ages, or any of the sort.

Do NOT ask Power or Denji any questions.

NO play-fighting, no sparring, no physical contact with ANY of the idiots roommates.

Do NOT talk too much with them.

Yeah, sure. You’ll follow them, but sometimes… rules are suggestions. You’ve known Aki for over 3 years; anyone who keeps him company is your friend. Any friend of yours is treated with wholehearted love. So, it’ll be justified when you break the physical contact rule. A hug should be fine, right? 

Walking up the stairs with Aki, he reminds you of the makeshift contract. “You don’t want to deal with Power especially. Trust me. It’s all in your best interest to adhere to it.”

You brushed him off with a wave of the hand. “Sure. I bet they’re the coolest ever and you’re just a huge grump.” He turned the knob for you, pushed the door open, and rolled his eyes, ushering you into the apartment where the three were gathered around the chabudai, playing cards. 

“YES!” The red-horned one started screaming, slamming the cards down as the blonde started to grumble in discontent, mumbling something about cheating, fluidly mixed with an impressive string of profanities. It was obvious they had not recognized your presence, but the black-haired child did, neck craned, eyes burning a hole in your skull. Dogs surrounded her figure seated by the chabudai as she fed each one a bone-shaped treat. Surprisingly, they’re oddly well-behaved for such a numerous bunch. Wow. The prophecies are true.

You stood there awkwardly, looking up at Aki for help; however, he let go of your hand and shrugged, making his way to the kitchen to wash dishes that had a substance burned and caked onto them beyond repair.

“Hello,” your voice, although naturally loud, barely overpowered the even louder atmosphere, courtesy of the red-horned and the blonde – which, by the drawings on the paper, you presume are Power and Denji – prompting the black-haired child – Nayuta? – to roll her eyes and hit her hand on the low table to get their attention, gesturing to you. “She’s here.”

The blonde – sorry – Denji’s jaw drops. Aki tugs an apron on, puts something in the oven, and completely ignores the event as if it happens daily. Does it happen every day? Power immediately jumps up from the table and hops over to you. “You’re Aki’s girlfriend?” She says, mildly judgemental. 

You nod, beaming. Forget the rules, she’s adorable! “You’re literally so cute! Are your horns real?” You reach to touch them, and she slightly maneuvers her head to make it easier for you.

“Yeah. But don’t get any ideas,” she says, seemingly sizing you up. “Just ‘cause you’re moving in doesn’t mean you get to call the shots. I still do.” Power says, pushing her proud chest out.

You laugh, feeling tears prickle your waterline… from fear, or is she just funny? Okay, this one is the queen in that “queen and her lowly subordinates” game. You hear Aki reprimand her from the kitchen, and she answers with an annoyed “What?”

Denji sighed, pushing Power aside with one arm, prompting a grunt and a sudden dive of her head, mouth open and clearly aimed to snatch off the skin of Denji’s forearm. However, the fiasco is immediately stopped by a stern “Hey!” from Aki. 

“Sorry about her,” Denji sighs. “She doesn’t know how to act.” He rolls his eyes and then sticks out a hand for you to shake. What a gentleman! Aki must’ve been exaggerating in those horror stories about him. You take his hand, nodding and saying hello.

It’s sticky.

His hand is… tacky. You blink once, twice, and one more time before tightening all of your facial features and retracting your hand with extraordinary quickness, clenching your hand in your t-shirt. “Your hand,” you breathe out. “It’s, um,”

“Oh. Sticky? No big deal.” Denji laughs from his stomach. “But uhh, I don’t know where from. Probably like, from cleaning up after Nayuta’s dogs.”

You look over at Aki once again. He’s got oven mitts on and sharp flour on the part of his apron that meets the counter. 

He shrugs.

—

You flop down on the bed, exhausted with a raw hand – from scrubbing off every trace of … whatever … that could’ve been left on your hand. 

“Are you okay?” Aki walks in, wet-haired and with a towel wrapped around his waist. He eyes your figure splayed out across the bed, with a telling look that screams “I told you so”. He gets dressed, climbs into the bed, and lets you rest your head on his chest. “Well,” he starts, but you shoot him an annoyed look, so he pushes his lower lip up in a cartoonish frown and stays silent.

“I like them,” you finally say, after 10 minutes of deafening silence, punctuated by a snore coming from a neighboring room. It seems the others are asleep. “They’re cool. Fun.” Okay – optimistic much? Your cup is half full, not half empty. 

Aki laughs at you, kissing you on the head and pulling the covers up. “Okay,” is all he says, but you could tell he still wanted to declare himself right. “You’re staying?” He asks, an eyebrow up under his wet bangs. 

Today, you indirectly touched dried dog urine – question mark? –, got threatened by a loud, red-horned girl, and walked into what is practically a dog shelter. 

You nod, sighing. “Yes, I’m staying.” You look up at him, a smile on his face, one he was very obviously trying to fight earlier. “Quit smiling. It takes a lot to deter me, so I’ll stay. I like them.”

“I’ll stop smiling if you kiss me.”

“Go to sleep.”

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[bitethedevil]

A House of Hope (Modern!AU Raphael x Tav): Chapter 2

Read this fic on AO3

Last Chapter / Next Chapter

Fic summary: Tav lives at her mom's place after a tough break-up with her former boyfriend. Rent isn't cheap anywhere, but one day her mom finds her someone online who presents a tempting new living situation that won't break her bank account.

Tav moves into the Haven estate and becomes a part of Raphael's House of Hope project: a project that helps unfortunate souls to get back on their feet. Although, something is not quite right about the house and her fellow tenants. That's not to mention her odd landlord who seems to be hiding something...

AN: Raphael, our dear problematic landlord, is playing it safe in these first couple of chapters, but he will get so fucked up later on. For now we are setting the scene a bit more. NSFT stuff in the next chapter as Haarlep is properly introduced.

Tav yanked on the window to her bedroom. She pulled it closed but the handle would just not go down and let her keep it closed.

She had finally found something wrong with the apartment. She had been expecting toxic mold to hide somewhere behind the furniture, so she supposed that a broken window was really a minor fault.

She gave up on the stubborn window and instead felt the need to explore her new surroundings a little bit. She folded the map of the estate that Raphael had given her and put it in her back pocket.

When she opened the door to the shared entrance, she stepped out into a cloud of smoke. She blew it away and then looked for the source of it. A blonde, middle-aged woman who looked a bit worn out by life stood to the side of the doorway puffing on a cigarette.

“Sorry honey. Didn’t see you there,” the woman said in the hoarse, croaky voice of someone who had smoked their entire life. “You the new one?”

Tav nodded.

“I’m Tav,” she greeted. “Nice to meet you.”

“Linda,” the woman said curtly. “I live next door. Now…”

A beat of silence came as Linda took another long drag from the cigarette between her boney fingers. Tav looked at her for a moment and a smile tugged on her lips from the slight awkwardness of the pause that was just a moment too long.

“I won’t stop you from listening to loud music,” Linda continued after letting out a trail of smoke. “but I’ve got a heart condition, so be considerate of that. No blasting loud music out of nowhere. Turn the volume up gradually, you hear?”

Tav nodded again with a polite smile.

“I’ll remember that.”

She watched Linda’s bright turquoise nails tickled at her nose as she took another deep drag from the cigarette, all while she was watching her skeptically through her matching turquoise eyelids.

Tav’s eyes lingered on the cigarette for a moment. She cleared her throat.

“I know it’s not nice to test the hospitality of my neighbors from the get-go, but could I maybe borrow a cigarette?” Tav asked.

Linda blew out a cloud of smoke and slowly retrieved her pack from the maroon fanny pack around her waist. She opened the lid so she could take one. Tav placed it in her mouth and then looked from Linda’s face to her fanny pack.

“Could I borrow a lighter too?” Tav asked when she made no move to hand her one.

Linda fiddled with her bag at the same slow pace before pulling out a lighter and lighting the cigarette for her.

“Are you capable of smoking it yourself or do you need assistance with that too?” Linda quipped.

Tav grinned and took a drag of the cigarette. The nicotine made her body relax immediately.

She could already tell that she would like Linda. She knew her type because her old neighborhood had been filled with Lindas. She always had a weakness for those no-bullshit, chain-smoking ladies who you could see from the first glance had seen some shit in their life.

They should not be underestimated. They were always brutally honest, and they always had all the gossip.  

Linda looked her up and down and narrowed her eyes in thought.

“Yeah, you’re a pretty one,” Linda mused. “It won’t take long, no…Not long indeed.”

“For what?”

“For the master of the house to try and get in your pants,” Linda answered casually. “If he can get his cock out of Raha for even a second, that is. She’s a nympho. Watch out for that one. She’s one of those bisexuals or what you call them.”

Tav’s eyes widened, and she grinned at the candidness of her words.

“Yeah?” Tav said, a bit lost for words. “Interesting. Raphael a bit too old for me, I’m afraid.”

“He’s too old for Raha too but that doesn’t stop him,” Linda said with a huff and put out her cigarette. “Have you met with the others yet?”

Tav shook her head and took another drag of her cigarette.

“I’ve seen you and someone named John,” she said. “That’s it.”

“John has dementia,” Linda said bluntly. “He doesn’t talk much anymore. You haven’t met Raha and Oscar then. Raha is the nympho, Oscar is…”

She put her finger to her head and made the universal sign for craziness.

“I see,” Tav said. “Are you all close?”

“You’ve got to stay close in this madhouse,” Linda sighed. “We meet in the chapel usually. I’ll take you there.”

They went to the chapel. It was a piece of beautiful architecture, but it was very clear that it had not been used as a chapel for quite some time. Some of the benches had been arranged around tables that had been pulled inside from elsewhere.

Except for the fresco on the ceiling, the stained glass on the windows, and the cross on the wall, the chapel just looked like a well-used room for socializing and shared activities.

The three other residents were already in there.

John that she had met earlier was there, eating a pastry of some sort with shaking hands. Next to him sat a younger man in his thirties, who she guessed was Oscar.

Oscar was nervously biting at his nailbeds. He was brown-haired and looked up at her with the most beautiful and vivid green eyes she had ever seen. His eyes flicked over her.

Next to Oscar sat who could only be Raha: a gorgeous young woman with olive skin, dark hair and even darker eyes. She was playing with Oscar’s hair, which he seemed quite uncomfortable with.

“Everyone, Tav,” Linda said and gestured to her. “Tav, everyone. Come sit with us. Sit next to John. He doesn’t bite.”

Tav sat down and John turned to look at her with slight confusion.

“Maria?” John spoke quietly in a hoarse voice, his eyes lighting up a bit.

Linda gave a sympathetic sigh.

“Maria died, John,” Linda said in a loud voice so that the elderly man could hear her better. “This is a new one. Tav.”

“Tav…” John mumbled before returning his eyes to the pastry in his hands.

“Maria had your apartment before,” Linda explained and lit another cigarette. “Nice girl. She was about your age, which is why John’s confused. Tragic what happened to her… Aneurysm. It can even happen to the young ones.”

Tav noticed how Oscar’s eyes narrowed at that statement for some reason. He looked at Tav. His eyes flicked just above her head for some reason. He stared for a moment. Instinctively, Tav fixed her hair, expecting to find a leaf that had landed on her or something, but there was nothing. Oscar looked her in the eyes again.

“Did you already sign?” Oscar asked quietly.

“Yeah, yeah,” Tav answered. “Signed just about an hour ago. I’ll live next to Linda.”

“A pity,” Oscar mumbled in a dark tone.

Linda rolled her eyes and then looked at Tav, as if to tell her not to take him seriously.  

“What do you do, Tav?” Raha asked in an almost sultry tone. “Are you going to work here with us?”

“Uh, no,” she answered. “I already have a job, so… I have lectures to go to, so I can’t really avoid going into town anyway. My workplace isn’t far from where I study.”

Raha smiled and nodded. Her canines looked unnaturally sharp as she smiled. Her eyes trailed down to look at Tav’s cleavage. Tav pulled up the neckline of her shirt a bit and cleared her throat.

“Do you all work here?”

“Yes,” Raha said and reluctantly pulled her eyes away from Tav’s tits. “We all have our duties around here. Oscar fixes things and takes care of the garden, John is an assistant of sorts, Linda cleans…”

“And you?” Tav asked.

Raha’s gave her another toothy smile.

“A bit of this and a bit of that…” she said in a suggestive tone. “Mostly I just keep the master of the house happy.”

“Mhm,” Tav said with a nod and quickly changed the subject. “So…why is it that you all meet out here? I thought I saw a meeting room for the tenants on the map…”

“He doesn’t come here,” Oscar quickly said. “Raphael never comes out here.”

“That’s not to say that we hate the boss,” Linda quickly added and looked at Tav. “But he can be a bit controlling and nitpicky at times. Sometimes it’s nice to have a separation between church and state, so to say. A space where you can get away for a bit.”

“Makes sense, I suppose,” Tav mumbled.

“Speaking of churches,” Linda said and pointed to the corner of the room. “If you are religious there’s a little altar and some candles over there. No one but John really uses it, but he can share.”

Tav looked to where she was pointing and then nodded. There was a table with some candles and a small cross on it. She had never been particularly religious, so it didn’t matter a whole lot to her.

Linda checked the turquoise watch around her wrist.

“I’ve got work duty,” Linda said and took a final drag of her cigarette before putting it out. “Oscar, can’t you take care of the new one? Walk her back to her apartment and keep Raha away from her.”

Raha moved her hand to her heart in mock-offense at her words.

“Don’t be jealous, Lin,” Raha purred. “There’s plenty of me to go around.”

Linda huffed at her before walking out. Tav looked at Oscar and gave him a polite smile. He sighed before getting up from his seat.

“Come on then.”

“Hey about what you said earlier,” Tav said. “What did you mean by that? That it was a pity?”

Oscar was taking her through a huge garden. It was a different route than the one Linda had taken her on. The gardens were just as perfectly kept and beautiful as the rest of the house.

Oscar gave a small shrug.

“I’m not supposed to say.”

“Come on, now,” Tav urged. “Did I make a mistake by signing?”

Oscar looked at her with those green eyes of his. There was a tinge of sadness in his eyes and something else she couldn’t quite put her finger on. He shook his head.

“Doesn’t matter,” he sighed. “There’s no way out now anyway.”

“Please. Give me something. Moving brings enough anxiety in itself. I just want to know what I’m walking into. Is this all a scam? I had a feeling that it was.”

Oscar gave a long, tired sigh and shook his head.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Try me. Please.”

He considered her for a moment. Their surroundings were beginning to look familiar now, meaning that they couldn’t be far from her apartment.

“Would you believe me if I said that you will never escape from here again?” Oscar said in a hushed tone. “That I’m not as crazy as the others make me out to be…that there is something seriously wrong with this place and…him.”

“Raphael?”

“Yes,” he said in an even quieter tone. “He’s not human, and I mean that in the most literal sense. Something is wrong with this place.”

Tav gave a sympathetic nod. She had dealt with people similar to him before. She had seen people with drug-induced psychoses. Drugs sometimes made her feel a little crazy too. Hallucinations, auditory and visual, and the delusions…

She was trying to determine what kind of crazy Oscar was.

“I see,” she said softly. “What is he then?”

“He’s not from here,” Oscar muttered and then looked at her with growing defeat in his eyes as he watched her expression. “You don’t believe me,” he said with a sad smile. “That’s alright…Just…take care. Your apartment is over there.”

Oscar pointed at her front door and then left before she could say anything. Now she felt terrible. She had not meant to be patronizing, just understanding. She sighed and walked in.

There was a letter stuck to the door of her apartment. She took it off before walking inside. It looked very official with a red wax seal and everything.

She opened it. It was an invitation to have dinner with Raphael.

Tav was led into the grand dining room of the estate by John who had greeted her at the door. The dining room was as lavish as the rest of the house. There were candles lit everywhere, shining their orange light over the gold and red furniture of the room.

The table was already set. It seemed that it was just going to be Raphael and her. Raphael lit up when he saw her. She self-consciously adjusted her clothes.

“I feel severely underdressed,” she said with an embarrassed chuckle. “My things haven’t gotten here yet, so…”

“Nonsense,” Raphael said. “You look fine just how you are. Please, sit.”

She sat down. Raphael took his seat at the head of the table.

“This is simply a little tradition we have here,” Raphael explained. “I find it useful to get to know who lives underneath my roof. Don’t feel nervous, dear. It is not an interrogation. Just dinner.”

“Just dinner,” she repeated with a nod. “Well. I’m an open book.”

Raphael poured a glass of wine for her and then himself.

“Let us get the unpleasantries out of the way, hm?” he said. “I was curious about this former boyfriend of yours. Your mother told me of his unsavory occupation. I trust he won’t be an issue for us?”

“No, no. It’s done and over with. He won’t come here or anything.”

“Good,” Raphael said with a smile. “His presence may prove difficult for one of our tenants. I won’t gossip, but you are not the only one who has had trouble with narcotics.”

“Okay,” Tav said with a tight smile and held up a hand to stop him. “I want to explain myself, because I feel like my mom might have filled your ears with her usual overexaggerated stories. I’m not really a drug addict.”

“No?” Raphael asked and took a bite of his food.

“No, not really,” she continued. “I did drugs, yes, but I wasn’t…’addicted’ to cocaine or to weed or to LSD or whatever. I just needed a little escape from reality every now and again, that’s all. I distanced myself from it when I felt like I was losing control over it. I’m clean now.”

Raphael gave a thoughtful hum and swirled the wine in his glass. He looked her over and a smile tugged on his lips.

“You would not say that a continuous craving for an escape or distractions is an addiction in itself?” Raphael challenged.

She bit the inside of her cheek in slight annoyance with how he pressed the subject. Also, in annoyance with how truthful that statement had described her former problems, but she would never admit that. She forced a small smile.

“I suppose,” she said with a shrug. “What can I say? I get bored easily and I have a hard time dealing with it. That’s all it is.”

She had always felt that way. She needed to be fully engaged in something interesting for her to feel like she was even alive. She needed something to obsess over. When she did drugs, everything was interesting. It was a nice replacement for a while, but at some point, even that became boring.

“Well, I can assure you that you won’t be bored here,” he said with a smile. “What were you trying to escape from, I wonder? Your boyfriend, perhaps?”

She shook her head.

“Just life, I suppose,” she said with a sigh. “No, Luke was fine. Nicest and most understanding boyfriend I have ever had, actually. I told him I couldn’t be with him because he did drugs. The truth is that I couldn’t be with him because I did drugs. He was a bit of a pushover, so telling him not to sell to me when I asked him didn’t really work, unfortunately.”

“Sounds like a painful separation,” he said.

“It was…” she said. “But it’s all over now. The relationship and the drugs. Things will be very different…”

She didn’t understand why she was telling him all of this, but still, she did. She felt as if she constantly needed to explain herself these days. It was as if she had a big brand on her forehead that said ‘addict’ and it was her new life’s purpose to explain that to everyone.

She cleared her throat.

“What about you?” she asked.

Raphael raised an eyebrow.

“What about me?”

“Who are you?” Tav asked and took a bite of her food. “Other than a very charitable landlord, I mean.”

Raphael leaned back in his seat and swirled the wine in his glass with a smirk.

“Your new neighbors haven’t spoken to you about me? I find that difficult to believe.”

“Only very little,” Tav said. “I’m sure your answer is different from theirs, anyway.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” he purred. “Though I am still very curious about what they have said so far.”

Tav took a long sip of her wine, which gave her a moment to think about what she could say without getting her fellow tenants into trouble. They all worked for him, after all. She didn’t want to jeopardize anyone’s livelihood or living accommodations by accident.

“Well,” Tav finally said and cleared her throat. “I got the idea that you are pretty close with your tenants. Other than that, it was mostly sort of confusing statements. Oscar believes you’re an alien or something, which wasn’t super helpful information.”

He let out a hearty laugh at that. Tav smiled and laughed along with him.

“He’s a very imaginative boy that one,” he said in an amused tone. “I believe he thinks I’m the devil. That is the usual warning he gives to newcomers.”

“The devil? Wow,” Tav said with a chuckle. “What did you do to earn that title?”

Raphael gave an almost coy shrug and sipped his wine.

“I pride myself on my ability to help people, but it is hard to do so when someone does not want to be helped. I suppose I might have lost my temper once but believe me when I say that it was only because I cared about what happened to our dear Oscar.”

Tav nodded in understanding as he explained.

“He is a very sweet and smart young man…whenever he remembers to take his medicine, that is, which is less and less these days. Though you will have no trouble with him. Even when he is off his medication, he has never been known to be violent or troublesome.”

“I see,” Tav said. “You still haven’t answered my original question though.”

Raphael gave her another shrug.

“It is a difficult question to answer,” he said. “I am many things, and I have my fingers in many pies, as they say. There is no set job description, but I can assure you that the most important work I do, I do here. Nothing is as rewarding as seeing my residents just…blossom.”

He smiled at her. There was something about him that she couldn’t quite put her finger on. A glint in his eye or something. She wasn’t sure. There was definitely something up with this man, she felt. She brushed it off for now.

Raphael poured her more wine and continued their chat for a while before Tav headed home to sleep her first night in her new home.

It was getting dark outside. Tav was making her bed when she heard an odd noise. She paused her movements for a moment, but it seemed as if the noise disappeared the moment she did so. She shook her head and wrote it down as her being jittery over sleeping someplace new.

She tried closing the troublesome window again. She grabbed the handle and pulled it shut, but it would still not go all the way down. She tried yanking harder on it, but nothing happened. She pulled harder on the handle, but then it would not go down at all.

She sighed and once again gave up.

She pulled her pants off and got under the covers. She gave a small sigh of relief as she lay down on the bed. It felt as if her spine aligned for the first time in months. The mattress was the perfect balance of firm and soft against her back.

She turned off the light. The moment she did, the noise returned.

It seemed to come from outside. It was a low, windy, moaning sound. She didn’t feel like getting up, so she squinted and looked out of the dysfunctional window. She could see on the trees and bushes of the barely lit garden, that there was no wind that was making the noise.

She was too tired and too comfortable to care at that moment. The house was ancient, after all. It was bound to make weird noises every now and again. She brushed it off and closed her eyes.

She quickly drifted into that state between being awake and being asleep. The noise became louder and clearer. She could have sworn that it suddenly sounded like a thousand people wailing and wheezing in despair.

Sleep quickly seemed to swallow her whole regardless.

[itskattkm]

The air in my lungs

Chapter 6

Cairo Sweet x Fem Reader

Summary: A stroke of fate changes you and leads you into the arms of Cairo Sweet. Will she be your downfall or save you?

Warnings: 18+, Grief, Injuries, Smoking, Trauma, anxiety, sexual content, student x teacher mentioned, harm, blackmailing, bad grammar

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You were lying on your stomach, with the arms under your pillow, breathing quite and steady when Cairo began to caress the scars on your back gently. You could feel her fingertips moving carefully above the higher parts of the scars. It’s been almost a month now. They were healed but still, somehow fresh. They were pretty pink and it would take some time before they would turn lighter and become a bit smoother.

Cairo was resting her upper body on one arm while watching your back. Scanning every scar, trying to figure out how the accident happened. She couldn’t stop thinking about the details, what you must have been feeling like when it happened and what it was like for you after the crash.

Her long, now wavy hair was falling slightly into your face, you didn’t cared, you had your eyes closed anyways while relaxing right beside her in bed. You could still hear the rain outside, the thunder had stoped some time ago. Cairo was wearing one of your shirts you had offered her so she wouldn’t be freezing cause the thunderstorm had really cooled down the heat in your town. Suddenly you felt something soft and wet on one of your scars across the shoulder blade. You released some air satisfied and had immediately goosebumps all over your body the moment you noticed that Cairo just kissed one of your scars and kept caressing them in general.

You loved this. And you could have stayed like this for the rest of the day or maybe forever. You never liked being close to someone, you never thought you would be in a situation like this. The scars in your back weren’t a thing you were ashamed of. You didn’t cared about something like that after barely dying. They weren’t pretty, that was a fact. But still… you were okay. And Cairos touch was so soft… it made you almost fall back asleep.

“I was a bit sad or well… confused that one day when your were acting so mean in swimming class…” began Cairo to speak so quite that alone her voice made you feel another wave of goosebumps. “so Winnie and I tried to find out why”.

You weren’t surprised to hear this, almost everyone in school wanted to know what happened to you, mostly because you had changed your way of styling and your personality mostly. But you were surprised that Cairo cared enough to really find out why you acted so different towards her that day, that made you smile into your arm, wich Cairo couldn’t see.

“…I’m so sorry y/n” she whispered and then moved to snuggle up her body onto yours. Her hand still on your back while her head was now beside yours on the pillow.

So Cairo knew about the accident and about the loss of your mother. She knew.

You looked at Cairo as if she read your deepest, darkest secrets. You felt so surprised that Cairo knew something as personal about you. You always thought of Cairo as someone who you didn't need to talk about personal stuff with, but it seems as if you were completely wrong in this moment. "Cairo... how did you know about that?" You asked, your face completely surprised right now.

Cairos eyes wandered along your face while caressing your shoulder now since she had pulled her arm around it in some way. “Winnie was walking around the whole school and asked probably anyone she could find. Later we found some old news articles about the accident online”. Your face now had a look of disappointment on her face mixed with some sadness. "I... I haven't told anyone about this... and yet you and Winnie have known this whole time." You said softly. You felt suddenly embarrassed and angry over the fact that this was already known. Only your friends and some teacher knew about this. You didn’t wanted the whole school to know about this. "I'm so..." you stopped talking at this moment but Cairo already knew what she wanted to say right now.

“Your friends knew y/n and we managed to find them and asked what happened to you.

I saw your scars after swimming and I was so worried and didn’t understood why you panicked in the water but now I do… please don’t be mad” said Cairo and had such a worrying and soft look in her dark eyes that you immediately got quite and looked away.

You couldn't help it. You couldn't even look Cairo in the eyes anymore after having one of your most private and personal things being known for a long time now. You felt angry with Winnie and with Cairo now. But did you have the right to be angry now? You felt so overwhelmed by this that you weren’t sure how to feel about this. Keeping things private was important for you… and now two more people or even more knew about it. "I... I don't like to talk about that Cairo... please." You said and tried to stay friendly while your voice was slowly growing more and more quiet. You were trying so hard not to get mad at Cairo now, but it was so hard for you in this moment to not feel like this.

Why did it even bother you? So what, a few more people knew about it now. But still you felt suddenly so much anger inside you that you didn’t knew how to let it free. At this point you were clenching your teeth so hard, you felt your jaw getting numb.

You sighed and then turned around so your face would be facing Cairo. You needed some distance now. Cairo moved herself as close to you as physically possible right now while seeing you turn you back towards her completely. Cairo's eyes were filled with concern right now as she was suddenly so scared that you would never talk to her again now. "Y/n... don't push me away now..." Cairo whispered quietly right now with her eyes moving along her body to read her current state.

“It’s just-“ you tried to keep your breathing calm, closing your eyes so you wouldn’t feel overwhelmed by the memories. Your heart racing fast feeling your eyes getting teary.

“It’s hard to talk about it…” you whispered and tried to not make your voice break mid talking. Cairo couldn't hold back anymore she hugged you even tighter now. You could feel her body against your back, while her arms were wrapped tight around you. "Y/n... I'm so sorry right now... I can only imagine how hard this has must been for you and I... I know that it must be hard for you... but... I... I didn't know how hard it really was for you y/n. I'm so sorry." Cairo said when she buried her face in the back of your neck while she spoke. You turned around and hid your face immediately in her neck while wrapping your arms around her. Holding onto her.

Cairo was so happy in that moment, having you still by her side. She hugged you back tightly while not letting go of you until you would decided to let go. "I should have asked yourself instead of making research... I know that I messed up, I’m sorry y/n." Cairo whispered softly to you. “Don’t be… you were just curious I guess. I probably would have been too” you whispered and raised your head to take a deep breath and let it all out. Cairo wrapped her leg around you to keep you in place while her head rested under your chin. She felt a lot better after hearing the words come out of your mouth now. She felt so much happier and relieved. "You're right y/n... I was just curious and a bit worried that's all. I didn't mean to..." Cairo said while her voice grew calmer again. She was so glad that you weren’t mad at her right now. She felt such peace of mind in this moment with you in her arms. "Is... Is there anything I can do to make up for it? To win your trust maybe?" Cairo asked in a luring whisper tone.

You moved slightly so you could look into her eyes before you said barely audible “just stay…”. There was a short silence before you kissed her slow and gentle. Cairo's whole body felt so warm right now as she felt your lips touch her own. It felt so special, so beautiful right now. She kissed you back after your kiss, wanting to stay in this moment forever and ever. She wanted to feel your lips against her own again and again. "I'm yours y/n... I'm... I'm yours." Cairo whispered right, her voice growing softer with every word she spoke.

It was darker outside since the stone grey clouds were still on the sky. It may had stopped raining for now but Cairo was sure it would be raining for the next three days since the heat wave had been there for weeks. „Thank you for driving me home“ Cairo said with a loving smile before leaning over and giving you gentle kiss on the lips. You felt goosebumps creeping up your neck

As her lips met yours and left a feeling you were getting addicted to on you.

“No problem…” you whispered quite when their lips separated, you could feel your lips being slightly wet, the tingling getting intense. “If you want you can come in…” Cairo said quite and watched your reaction. Her parents should have been at their flight by now. It was a wonder they were even there this morning. You smiled and felt a slight blush on your cheeks while looking past Cairo. “Maybe next time, seems like someone’s waiting for you”.

Cairo looked confused at you and then followed your gaze to see Winnie standing in front of your gate raising her hands like “for real girl?”. Her eyes were wide and Cairo couldn’t hide her grin when she looked back at you. “I’ll see you tomorrow then… bye” she said with excitement and kissed you one more time before getting out of your car and walking towards the gate where Winnie was waiting.

“Okay you skipped tho whole day with y/n?! did you at least get laid?!” She asked excited and hit slightly Cairos shoulder. Seeing that bug grin in Cairos lips made Winnie even more excited and restless.

"Yeah... I got laid Winnie..." Cairo smiled widely as she spoke and used the vocabulary Winnie always tend to use.. She wasn't lying and she felt like finally having a connected with you in every way. She could feel every part of you and now she was sure that she truly wanted you with her whole heart. Cairo didn't even care about your scars or anything else that would considered you as "unattractive" by many others. You were her goddess in every way possible."I loved every single part of her Winnie... and... and..."

Cairo struggled to open the door to the mansion. Smiling wide, almost blushing. Winnie grinned wide and said curious “and?”

"I think I love her Winnie... and I... I wanna be with her forever. I know it's crazy right now Winnie, but... but it's true... I know I've never had the experience of sex... but..." Cairo took a deep breath and tried to calm down while speaking to Winnie. She then managed to put the right key into the lock of the door and stopped, looking at Winnie serious "Winnie... you're kind of my best friend... And you're gonna be the one that sees me get married to y/n if this ever happens... I'll never forget what you did for me Winnie." Cairo said as her voice grew softer and softer.

Winnie looked at Cairo with raised brows and fought hard to not laugh. “Listen babe, I think your body really needed some good sex because no one talks like this after having it once” Cairo rolled her eyes and opened the door. Winnie laughed and nudged her before putting her arm around Cairos shoulders. “I mean… love? Are you sure? I think you’re still in the haze of being so intimate with y/n fucking y/l/n”. Cairo shrugged her shoulders.

“You know. All this teasing and being flirty was really putting some sexual tension between us. The was that constant hunger and lust I felt but then… it changed into something way more intimate. I can’t explain… but I know that I feel good with her” Cairo said deep in thoughts, walking up the stairs in the big hallway. Winnie chuckled “I thought it was only about the sex, I guess that girl really did something to you”.

"I know we're both so young right now Winnie and I know that this sounds crazy right now... but... but it's true. I think y/n and I are gonna be something special together. I mean that's what I felt when I was with her Winnie. I felt like I could be completely vulnerable with y/n. She made me feel like I could tell her everything. I just wanna be with y/n forever Winnie, right now." Cairo said while putting her backpack down as soon as she entered her bedroom. “Well if so, then I’m happy to hear that but for real... How was it… your first time?” Winnie asked and then smiled cheeky at Cairo while lying down in her bed. “Was it as dirty as in your writings? Was it hot and rough or? Did she go easy on you before taking your virginity? Wait… were you on the top maybe?” Winnie’s grin got wider and wider with every question. Her heart beating fast, feeling excited to hear the answers.

"It was... It was wonderful Winnie. It really was. Everything... Just felt so right between y/n and I." Cairo said without giving any details, feeling suddenly so shy, not able to use any dirty words now, while smiling gently at Winnie now. She couldn't contain herself right now as she felt so good right now with y/n in her life. “Oh! And you know what?” Cairo said excited with a teasing tone while getting undressed, her clothes were still wet and she wanted to get changed. After putting on some shorts she turned around and gave Winnie a cheeky grin sayin “it was her first time too”.

The moment those words left Cairos mouth, she could see Winnie’s eyes falling out right of her skull. Mouth opened wide in shock. "really!? Y/n... y/n first time? You’re joking right?” Cairo kept grinning devilish and put on the rest of her clothes, she felt so happy and lucky in this moment right now.

“Wow… another proof that looking hot and all doesn’t mean your having sex 24/7” said Winnie speechless. She laid down on Cairos bed Looking for her lipgloss in her bag “we should celebrate this” she said. "I'd love to Winnie." Cairo said as she laid down beside her and looked at the ceiling. She felt so happy right now with you now, with y/n being her first and her also being your first now. "I think I finally understand why people fall in love for their whole lives now Winnie... I feel like y/n is the reason I'm gonna be in love for the rest of my life and... I don't think I'll see anyone as beautiful as y/n ever again." Cairo said.

Winnie could feel how excited Cairo was about this whole thing. Cairo felt completely in love with you right now. She felt that y/n was her everything. And she knew she had to protect y/n with her whole heart. "Cairo... I know this sounds crazy right now but... but keep it slow... you need to give such things time before saying your in love and stuff” said Winnie a bit serious now. Yeah Winnie was always joking a round with a slight truth behind it, she had a dirty mouth and mind as well. But she what Cairo was capable off and she wasn’t sure if Cairo was being honest or if this started to be a obsession. They both were friends, if they had to define what they were in one word. It may seemed as Winnie was the bolder and controlling one between the both of them. But the truth was that Winnie was fucking scared of Cairo. That girl seemed innocent but could be the devil in disguise. Winnie knew her limits and boundaries. She knew how Cairos personality could change within seconds if something should trigger her. So yeah. Winnie was indeed excited for her, but she was also scared of the things that would come with that.

“I know what I’m doing…” said Cairo in a quiet and calm way. But there was a tone hidden in it that made Winnie go quiet and feeling scared.

The next morning in school y/n attended later her class. She had another talk with the coach since the last argument. They talked without so what happened back then wouldn’t happen again.

After speaking out things with the coach, y/n made her way to her classroom. Slowly she opened the door without knocking. She didn’t wanted everyone to turn around and watch her sit down on her table. The moment Miss Perry saw you entering the room, you achieved a quiet mood from her. She was informed that you would be in a meeting with Coach Rey so she kept talking about the different perspectives on the book you were currently reading in class.

The moment Cairo saw the teacher nodding she knew you were there. She didn’t turned around to look into your y/e/c eyes. Instead she texted you via her laptop. "You're late today y/n." You were smirking, enjoying that she was thinking about you, enjoying the fact that it must have been bothering her that you wasn’t here till now. “Had a conversation with Coach Rey…” you answered her and looked at the back of her head, admiring her beauty. Cairo read the text sent you and instantly got curious about what you had to say, so much to the point where she decided to reply to you right after. "What did she say? Did you talk things out?" Cairo asked while texting you with a straight face not showing much expression like she used to before. “The last time I talked to her she didn’t seemed to care about my incident and the trauma I took with me from it, but after seeing what happened in our last swim session... let’s say I’m free from the classes for now. But she wants me to try… and swim at least one track once in the week after school. She would be there and check on me… other wise she would have to make me fail the class”

Fail. A word that caused anger inside of Cairo. She looked over and over again your message. Not realizing she had been clenching her teeth. Her heart beating harder. She inhaled deep before letting the air out of her lungs again. Fail. She repeater the word in her mind. No. Cairo indeed didn’t like the word and the things it was bringing with it. And the thought that you would be alone with the coach? Something bothered while thinking about this.

“I’ll make sure you won’t fail” she send you after a while. You smiled slight, feeling curious about it. Trying to understand what she could mean by that message. So you shrugged your shoulders slight and tried to get your attention to the class.

Cairo didn't even pay attention to what the teacher was saying anymore. She was just so caught up in the feeling your text made her feel. She turned her head to the side, looking over her shoulder to see you. Seeing your beauty, your strong side and also your vulnerable side, you were her everything now and she had to keep you. You looked down at your laptop and began to type. Cairo just continued to stare at you with an expression that was hard to read, but it was making you feel a bit intimidated.

A flick on Cairos screen made her stop staring at you. “You’re breaking your neck if you keep staring” she rode in her head and couldn’t help but smirk slightly, she could hear your teasing tone out of that message. Did she felt guilty for staring at you right now without even realizing it? Not at all. But was she slightly embarrassed? Yes she was. She felt so lucky that you didn't take it too seriously though so she laughed it off a little. "Sorry... I didn't mean it... I... I can't help it y/n... you're just..." Cairo texted.

“It’s okay… I mean you’re sitting in the first row. You can’t watch me like I watch you without getting caught” you answered in a slight flirty way. Cairo felt so happy in this moment right now. She felt confident with you, she felt like she could trust you with anything and everything and she just didn't want to keep anything hidden in the closet of her mind right now. "I think the teacher is gonna be mad if she sees you looking at them me... but I know I won't be mad at all if I see you looking at me y/n." Cairo texted with a big smile on her face.

“Yeah I just need to be careful, you make me drift away with my thoughts pretty badly. If the teacher wants an answer from me I probably wouldn’t hear her” you admitted, trying to flirt a bit. Cairo held a laugh back after hearing reading this and decided to make a joke about the situation they were in. "if you're so focused on me right now... and the teacher tries to ask for something from you... does that mean I'm more important right now y/n?" Cairo wrote as she turned back to face you again, smiling cheeky.

“Maybe” you whispered after reading her message when your eyes met hers. Cairo smiled wide and was fighting not to blush. She felt that you were just teasing her and she enjoyed it all. "Well y/n. If that's true... then... well… i have to admit that I rather be focused on you instead of this boring lesson." She message you while turning back around.

After that isn’t long till the bell rang, wich em at they had a short break before next class would start. Cairo was so excited right now. She couldn't even focus on anything else right now besides you. She was waiting for class to end the whole time so she could talk with you "Hey y/n... can i talk to you?" Cairo asked you when she approached your desk you were sitting on, feeling like she was about to confess her feelings right now. She just wanted to tell you how much she loved cared for you, without sayin I love you, Winnie was right. Saying those words, words that were powerful, words that were easy for some people and hard for others. She couldn’t say them yet. Deep down she believed it was indeed love but she wanted to wait, to make sure she wasn’t blinded by your affection. Besides that she wanted to know if you felt the same way right now and how things would keep going between the both of you.

“Sure… let’s get some coffee then” you said calm with a cute smile that made Cairo melt right away. Your smile looked so hot… she began sweating for a moment. You began to pack your stuff before getting up and making your way to the hallways with Cairo and getting some coffee in the canteen. After you both got your cups, you two made your way to the back of the school and sat down on the stair since it was mostly private there. Both were getting all the fresh air that still smelled like rain. Cairo felt so happy right now after spending some time with you alone and she knew that right now was the perfect time to tell you how much she liked you right now. You probably already sensed it but Cairo wanted to make things clear. She felt so nervous and she didn't know what to say and how to start talking to you now.

After the thunderstorm yesterday, today everything seemed to be covered in fog and mist. That’s why the most students stayed inside the building.

Cairo liked looking at the fog and mist outside of the school with you. Her eyes looked up at the sky while you both drank coffee. "Can I tell you how I feel about you right now y/n? And can I ask you something after that?" Cairo said calmly while looking at you, she felt so nervous but tried to not show any weak emotion. She didn't wanna make this something serious but she felt she had to be truthful now in order for them to move forward together.

“Sure you can…” you said quite a bit surprised. "I really like you. Like... a lot, I guess..." Cairo said as she looked up at you while talking and felt so nervous now. She had to calm herself now just to say it all right now. She couldn't wait any longer and she just wanted you to feel safe and know how about her intentions. "That's why... I..." Cairo paused here for a moment and tried to catch her breath.

“So you’re not only saying that because of yesterday?” You asked hesitant while looking down into the cup you were holding. Feeling also nervous now. Sure you both were flirting and teasing and one thing came to another but speaking so obvious about it? Oh that was hard and you couldn’t handle the stress you felt in your body, neither the emotions that were making you lose your mind.

Cairo looked down at the ground now and felt more nervous than before. Your question or accusation? made her second guess herself and even made her have the urge to not say anything to you at all. After a short silence she looked at you confident and serious while saying "No y/n... I didn't just say it because I had so much fun with you yesterday... I mean I really enjoyed what we had yesterday. And to me… it meant something. I don't regret sleeping with you... believe me when way I say it was more than just sex y/n...".

Her speech made you feel overwhelmed and scared. You never heard something like that. Being close to someone use to be hard for you. You didn’t like vulnerable but you had to admit, that what you and Cairo had yesterday. Was so intimate and closed. You were vulnerable, but also was she.

“You mean it?” You whispered almost not audible, looking at her in a way that showed her how vulnerable you were right now. You didn’t wanted to be mean by asking her that or accusing that she didn’t mean it. It was just… that you were t use to this, used to affection or even love. It was something you never had the chance to experience. Or even feel. So yes. It was hard for you to believe such words. But hearing them from Cairo, your heart wanted to believe it. Hoping it was true.

Cairo laughed a little here and couldn't stop herself because your question made her feel so giddy and happy right now. "Of course I meant every word y/n... the fact that I let you be that close to me is something that is not self-evident..." you nodded quite and got up. You threw your now empty cup into the trash and then leaned on the wall looking at Cairo, following your steps.

“Good…” you said so quiet and so calm that Cairo struggled to read you. “I’ll take you out then. How does Friday sound?” You said like it was nothing in the world. Cairo smirked slight, the way you tried to act chill about it just proved that you were nervous.

“Or do you consider Saturday? Cause you need to make homework and write?” You said a bit teasing with a hidden smile.

Cairo walked closer towards you with her mischievous smile “Friday. 6 pm. You pick me up” she said confident. You tilted your head and moved one step closer “what if 6pm is too late for the thing I have planned?” You said teasing, taking a bit of power away from her. Cairo rolled her eyes and was about to say something, but you pulling her by her shirt into your chest while you leaned in the wall again made her gasp.

“6pm is perfect” you whispered.

Your faces were so close, both of you having a slight grin in the lips. “Can I call you my girlfriend now or is this too soon?” You whispered and Cairos eyes began to shine, she had that sexy smile on her lips when she looked up to you and nodded “only if you keep calling me your dear” you smiled wide and stand upright, looking into her eyes while your noses brushed slight.

“Okay my dear…” you whispered and your hand slowly around her waist, holding her close. “But why isn’t my girlfriend kissing me yet?” You whispered in a playful flirtatious way. Cairo giggled as she was just pulled closer to you now. She felt your arm wrap around her while your hand rested on her back. She got pulled closer and it made Cairo feel so safe and happy. She laughed for a little bit here before getting a little serious again now. "Wait a second... Are you saying that you wanna kiss me y/n? I..." Cairo couldn't even finish what she wanted to say before she felt your body press up against hers and felt a kiss on the lips. It was a soft and gentle kiss but still. Cairo wanted more of you now.

"M-more... I... W-was waiting for this the whole morning..." Cairo said while looking at you now, trying to gain her composure again. She couldn't believe that she just said that to y/n but she felt so much pressure after feeling you kiss her. She wanted more of you right now and she couldn't help but feel a little needy and wanted to be held and kissed more by you. You were just so irresistible right now.

“After school?” You whispered while holding her close to you. Cairo nodded and her heart fluttered like crazy after this short moment you two shared. She felt like she was in a romance movie right now. And she didn’t liked those at all. “I was about to invite you anyways… you need a swimsuit or bikini when you come over” Cairo said and just kissed you on the cheek, her hand rubbed your back. "Why do I need swim clothes...?" You asked confused. Cairo softly rubbed your back, trying to gain her composure after that long kiss you just gave her right now. “No questions. Just make sure you’ll bring something you can get wet in” Cairo said with a mischievous grin and tried to tease you.

A loud whistle popped the bubble you two were in and your heads turned to the side to see Winnie. “Damn I get all worked up seeing you both” she said with a dirty grin and stopped beside the both of you. She looked at you with luring eyes saying with a lower voice “by the way I’m Winnie C-“

You nodded and looked at her serious “Cairos best friend. I know”. So that was your second or official first interaction with Winnie. Cairo held back her chuckle and grinned wide after hearing you cut off Winnie right now just to tell her that she knew who she was. "Hi" Cairo said as she turned fully to look at Winnie now, still a bit flustered by that long kiss. Your arm was still around Cairos waist, keeping her close to you, like you were protecting her or something. It made Cairo fell comfortable and indeed safe, she felt like she could be herself without any pressure. The fact that you cut off Winnie made her feel a bit giddy in a good way, she defiantly enjoyed this version of you. But she was curious. You seemed to not like Winnie at all, well… most people didn’t, cause she was the schools slut, if Cairo could explain it like that. Winnie said sometimes the most annoying and inappropriate things at the worst times. And Winnie was making out with every guy or girl in every spot you could find in the school. So yeah. Winnie wasn’t everyone’s favorite.

Winnie now looked a bit serious, seeming to understand that you weren’t her biggest fan. So why should she flirt then? Beside that… you were Cairos toy now. She sighed and said “as much as I enjoy that you’re fucking my best friend now-“ she then began to make a cross with her fingers. Moving them from her head to her chest and sliding them up from her left to the right shoulder. Making it seem like it was holy for her and important before keep talking “…but I still Wanne smoke with her”

Cairo turned to look at Winnie and she felt so much pressure from Winnie's comment right now. Winnie just interrupted the romantic and intimate moment between you and then pointed out the fact that you two had sex. She felt a bit ashamed even though Winnie was her friend. The whole situation made her feel so embarrassed that she didn't knew how to respond to Winnie's comment at all. “Depends if Cairo still wants to smoke” you said surprisingly soft and looked from Winnie towards Cairo.

Cairo knew that you were only saying that to Winnie, just to ease the moment. Cairo felt like she owed something to you after beautiful moment you two had before Winnie came. So she spoke, this time being extremely clear about what she wants. "I rather stay with y/n now. We can smoke in our second break". Winnie rolled her eyes “okay bye, see ya” and left the two of you alone.

The moment she was gone you both began to grin wide and moved closer into each other’s arms “you… were so fucking hot when you cut Winnie off like that” Cairo said in a turned on way while moving closer to your face. You chuckled slight “I didn’t even meant to be mean” this made Cairo shook her head and laugh slight. You used the moment to wrap both arms around her and kissed her slowly. Feeling her smile on your lips. She felt like your soft and gentle lips were made for her, and she felt so happy that you accepted her feelings and was showing them through your actions and words. She didn't want to pull away or even stop for a minute now as she felt so happy and loved right now. Cairo loved you so much right now and she just wanted to kiss you and be intimate with you as much as she could now. This felt like a dream to Cairo and she couldn't be happier right now.

[your-divine-ribs]

Showtime

Words: 5k

This one has been sat unfinished in my drafts since the summer - I’m sorry! // Van’s feeling nervous before his big comeback show so you take matters into your own hands to help him relax // smut 🤭

Imagines Masterlist Main Masterlist

Three years. Three long years... well two years, 9 months and 5 weeks to be precise. 1040 days. Not that you've been counting. You didn't need to. The fan blogs online had taken care of that for you. A smile stretches wide on your lips as you tilt your phone towards your boyfriend to show him the Instagram story that you've just clicked on.

"Look at this... they've even got a little countdown clock on this one! They can't wait to see you, I'm telling you. The atmosphere's going to be incredible, it'll be the best show yet, you'll see."

It was the moment that you'd both been waiting for, but you'd be lying if you told your boyfriend that you'd always known it would finally come. There were days where you didn't think he'd even pick up his guitar again, let alone stand in front of a crowd of 32,000 adoring fans all chanting his name. Those were dark days full of pain and grief and regret. You'd had to watch your usually exuberant boyfriend get eaten away slowly by a crippling self-doubt that had plagued him every time he'd attempted to put pen to paper, the lyrics that usually flowed so easily drying up like a shallow well on a scorching hot summer's day. It was hard to think about now and to be honest you tried not to, the memories of spilt tears and sleepless nights and heated exchanges fuelled by both your frustrations starting to fade as hope had finally emerged like the dawn of a new day.

But now the insecurities were back. You can see the tightness in his jaw, his lips red and sore where he's been gnawing at them, the tension in his frame as he shifts where he sits.

"Had the dream again last night." His voice is all pinched and tight with anxiety. He barely looks at the phone screen in your outstretched hand, eyes darting away quickly as he fumbles in his jacket pocket for his cigarettes. "It's the same every time. I open my mouth to sing and nothing comes out. Nothing at all. Nada. Not even a squeak."

He sighs, slipping a cigarette between his lips and sparking up his lighter, but you don't give the flame a chance to ignite. You reach forward, snatching the cigarette clean away.

"You might well lose your voice if you carry on chain-smoking like that. You've only just put one out!"

You tut playfully at him, ignoring his obvious dismay as you reach over to also take the half empty cigarette packet from him.

"But babe... it's good for the nerves," he protests, holding out a hand palm down, fingers spread. "Look at me, I'm fucking shaking!"

It's hard seeing him like this, riddled with obvious nerves and apprehension, his normally confident demeanour decimated by the long absence from performing. With only half an hour to go until showtime you know Van has to snap out of it and fast. You're terrified of him stepping out on to the stage and freezing up. The cutting comments and cruel observations about him being 'past it', 'off his head on drugs' or just plain incapable of carrying out his usual brand of lively performance had cut deep after the band's headline Reading set just under three years prior. You know he has to get out of his own head and into his usual energetic stage mode. Rehearsals had gone perfectly but it's different when you're up there under the stage lights and the scrutinising eyes of the fans, some who you know from bitter experience will pick apart a performance just as well as praise it.

"I keep telling you, there's no need to be nervous. Rehearsals have been great, Kai and James have got it all down perfectly." You rise up on to your feet, stepping over to look down on him. "Soundcheck was fine. You just need to go out there and let it flow, don't overthink it. How many times have you played these songs before? It must come as naturally to you as breathing by now."

"I know what you're saying love and I wish it was that simple." He lets out another sigh, frustrated with himself, his head falling back on to the sofa where he sits, his eyes screwing shut. "I don't know what it is, I never used to care about the critics, but now it's all I can think of. There's so much riding on this gig. If I go and fuck it up..."

"You are not going to fuck it up," you cut him off sternly, reaching for his hands and entwining your fingers with his. Your legs are pressed into the edge of the sofa in the space between his spread thighs and you have the sudden urge to be even closer to him, clambering up until you're straddling him, a knee on either side of his hips. His eyes flick open in an instant as he feels the pressure of you sitting in his lap, but he doesn't react, little creases of worry still crinkling his forehead. You decide to carry on with your pep-talk, on a mission to soothe away his concerns.

"What could possibly go wrong? You've sold out practically every show on this comeback tour so you know the fans are excited to have you back. You've been rehearsing like crazy and you know the setlist inside out. The fans are gonna go wild when they see you. You look amazing tonight..."

"Oh I dunno about that," he huffs quietly, face scrunching in disagreement. "It's not like I'm in my twenties anymore. I wish I still was, I didn't give a fuck back then. Not sure if I've still got it. Don't know if I look the part anymore."

"What are you talking about?" You laugh, pulling his hands into your lap, squeezing them in encouragement. "You're turning 32 in a few weeks, not 62! You're not exactly past it yet. You're still as gorgeous as the day I first laid eyes on you... even better in fact."

Sometimes it exasperates you how the niggling little insecurities about his appearance that manifested in his awkward teenage years still afflict him. Not even hordes of adoring fans spouting their devotion all over social media are enough to chase away the self-doubts. And no one else gets to sees this vulnerability except you, his confident on-stage presence often viewed as some kind of cocky arrogance that he doesn't care what people think of him.

"You would say that," he finally cracks a grin. "You're biased. You're my girlfriend after all, you gotta be nice to me."

"But I'm not just saying it, I mean it." You smile down on him and he looks right back, stunning blue-green eyes over-flowing with love and affection as he hangs on your every word. "You're gonna wow 'em like you always do. You look every inch the cool rockstar... especially now with this..."

You raise up a hand to brush his hair back off his face, letting your fingers rake through his long locks, your fingernails gently scratching at his scalp. He lets his head lol back against the sofa, lips quirking into a satisfied smile as he basks in your adoring attention. If it wasn't for the loud thud of the bass from the support act on stage filtering through the thin walls of the trailer you swear you'd be able to hear him purring.

"Mmm... I don't know... maybe I should have had it cut short after all," he muses, smirking at your overdramatic look of faux horror at the suggestion.

"Nuh-uh," you shake your head emphatically. "You're never cutting it, not now. I absolutely love it long like this, I really do... and besides..." now it's your turn to smirk, your voice taking on a playful tone "... if you do cut it short again I wouldn't be able to do this then, would I?"

As you speak you bury your hand deep into the roots of his hair, twisting it through your fingers as you wind it tightly into a fist, a firm tug to tip his head even further back, elongating his neck.

A soft growl emanates from the back of his throat, an involuntary reaction to your playful teasing. You'd never realised you were such a fan of long hair on guys before your boyfriend decided to grow his out, and that revelation had come hand in hand with another more surprising one... an accidental but very welcome discovery of one of Van's hidden kinks. He got off on having his hair pulled.

You catch your bottom lip in your teeth to stifle a giggle at his reaction, loving the dusting of colour that springs to his cheeks and the glaze of lust that clouds his eyes. You just tug even harder, exposing more of his throat which you waste no time in pressing your lips up against.

"Babe..." he whines in a strangled tone, his hips pressing upwards as you gently grind down on his lap simultaneously. "What d'ya think ya doing? You can't get me all fired up right now before I go out on stage. I can't perform with a massive boner, can I?"

You chuckle against the skin of his neck, not letting up the subtle but insistent rock of your hips, relishing the way you can reduce him to malleable putty in your hands within minutes.

"Definitely not... not with these skin-tight jeans on anyway."

You slip your free hand down between your bodies as if to demonstrate, cupping his crotch through the denim and rubbing firmly until he releases a throaty groan full of need.

"I'm serious love, I've got enough to worry about remembering the words and timings without trying to conceal a raging hard-on. Much as I'd love to fuck you before I go on we haven't got time for this."

He doesn't stop you though, addicted to your tempting caresses, eyes fluttering shut in bliss as he succumbs to your wilful seduction. The cool scent of his cologne fills your nostrils as you take the sensitive skin of his neck between your teeth and suck a small bruise, all the time kneading his ever-growing bulge.

"Who said anything about fucking?" You whisper into the shell of his ear, nipping his ear lobe as you pull back to press hot, wet kisses down the line of his lightly stubbled jaw.

"Then what are ya... oh... oh shit... you really wanna do this... now?"

His voice takes on an intonation of understanding as you shift your position, your movements slow and measured as you push yourself off his lap to rise up temporarily, only to sink down on to the floor at the foot of the sofa. You maintain eye contact with him the whole time, letting your tongue run over your bottom lip as your hands work on the zipper of his jeans.

"Just wanna get my man feeling all confident and hyped up ready for his big show, that's all," you tell him, sultry sweet combined with a wide-eyed coyness that he won't be able to resist. You know that the best cure for his untimely stage fright is a big distraction, and you just happen to know the most effective way to deliver it, a sordid method that will transform him from a shaky bundle of nerves into the relaxed and confident, charismatic frontman that the fans know and love so well.

"Shit... this is much better prep than vocal warm-ups," he grins mischievously, fully on board with the idea as he lifts his hips up off the seat to assist you with tugging his jeans down. "But what if someone comes in?"

"Don't worry I'll be quick," you smirk up at him devilishly, fingers already hooking under the waistband of his boxers to ease them down. "I'm very... efficient."

"You bloody are love," he chuckles in agreement, sighing in appreciation as his thick cock springs free and your fingers immediately wrap around it. "You know exactly what I like... fuck... how can you be so goddamn hot?"

You smile at his praise, leaning in but not taking him into your mouth just yet, brazenly meeting his hungry gaze as you extend your tongue to slowly kitten lick the tip of his cock. He watches your every move like a hawk, entranced by your sensual display.

"You're a fucking dream," he murmurs, swallowing thickly. "Can't believe I'm just about to walk out on stage in front of all those people and you're in here right now doing this to me."

"If only they knew," you grin, pursing your lips to let a gob of saliva dribble down over your bottom lip and drip on to the head of his cock, spreading it around with your thumb. You know you need to be quick but you don't want to be too hasty. You can't bear to rush things with Van, he just looks too good when you're pleasing him, he sounds too good, the way the pleasure creases his gorgeous face and his delectable little sighs and needy moans, it sets your blood alight.

He squirms where he sits, the fingers of one hand gripping on to the arm of the chair as if to ground himself, the other finding its way to the back of your head where it tangles in your hair.

"If only they knew what a dirty girl yer were eh?" He mutters, teeth digging into his plump lower lip as your tongue laps at his slit, fingers slowly and deliberately pumping his spit-slicked length. "Christ you're amazing... but you're too good at this... fuck..."

"Too good?" You pull away temporarily to look up at him with wide innocent eyes, playing dumb even though the sultry curve of your lips tells a different story. "You complaining about my technique huh? Maybe you want me to stop? Give you a breather?"

"No way," he's quick to reply, long fingers flexing in your hair as he attempts to guide your head back down. "Please don't stop... not now... you got me so fucking hard... I need ya... you know how much I do."

His need for you is intoxicating, the way his hips twitch upwards and his grip tightens in your hair as you gently suckle on his tip. You're holding back from giving him exactly what he wants though, knowing your calculated hesitance will ramp up his desperation and in turn light the fire that's needed to stoke his confidence.

"Babe..." he pleads, low and drawn out, his jaw clenching tight as he struggles to maintain his composure. You reward his need with a swirl of your tongue, your free hand reaching up to cup his balls whilst you steadily caress his length with the other. The strangled sounds drifting down from above tell you he's almost forgotten how to breathe.

"Love... please," he murmurs, his voice thick and strained with want, his eyes hooded and dark.

He's so expressive when you tease him it's hard not to lose control yourself, your thighs clenching together as he lets out another stifled moan. If both your hands weren't occupied right now you'd be slipping one inside your panties to quell the ache that's pulsing there. There's plenty of time for that later though. You know all too well the adrenaline will still be thrumming  through his veins when he comes off stage and you've been on the receiving end of his post-gig passion enough times to know that he'll certainly be more than happy to return the favour then.

"What's up?" You say sweetly, looking up at him with an impish smile, fingers never stopping their slow, teasing dance up and down his length. A little firmer but not quite firm enough. Not giving him that delicious friction that he's craving so badly.

"You know damn well what's up," He groans, cheeks flushed and rosy as he gazes down on you. "Quit teasing me would ya? I'm on in just over twenty minutes! You said you were gonna be quick!"

And this is the plan. Despite his obvious enjoyment at your attentions you can clearly see the tension still lingering in his frame. The air of the trailer is thick with it, that pre-performance anticipation that frazzles nerves and shakes up confidence still drenching him in self-doubt. You need him to forget all about it, you need him clear his head and lose himself in the moment. You want him to feel that heady power that comes from being thoroughly desired.

"Well you'd better tell me exactly what you want then," you say, nuzzling into the soft flesh as you press a lingering kiss to the underside of his cock, scattering wet kisses all over his length.

"Shit," he hisses, his shaky voice almost a whine. "I want... I want... uhhhhh fuck..."

He's struggling to get his words out, choked with need, shuddering as you tighten your grip on him, pumping him a little faster.

"What was that, I didn't quite catch it?" You tease, relishing the warm, solid feel of him in your palm, the way his cock swells even more in anticipation.

He's looking down on you, heavily-lidded eyes clouded with desire. His bottom lip's pulled in between his teeth, bitten in frustration, his cock rock hard, the pretty flushed pink tip glistening with his arousal.

"Hmm?" You prompt, raising an eyebrow teasingly.

"Fuck," he groans, drawn out and needy. "Want you... want your lips around my cock. Want you to suck me dry... please... your mouth's like heaven. Need it so bad."

His needy pleas of desperation are like music to your ears and you know you can't hold back any longer. You fix him with a steady gaze, keeping your eyes firmly on his as you dip your head, humming an appreciation as you lap again at the head of his cock. You taste the sweet tang of the pre-cum that's already beaded there, swirling your tongue around and around, savouring his taste. You give him a few purposeful tugs as you suck teasingly on his tip, then you widen your mouth to slide your lips downwards. He immediately melts into the couch, babbling mindlessly.

"That's it love... that's it... fuck... you look so good with your mouth full of me... oh god... you're amazing... just look at you..."

If your lips weren't wrapped around his cock you'd be grinning smugly from ear to ear, satisfied to see his eyes roll back in his head as he lets out the most sinful of moans. You flatten your tongue on the underside of his length as you pull back, pursing your lips and hollowing out your cheeks before you slide back down again. You take him even deeper this time, testing your limits, not stopping until your nose brushes the thatch of dark curls at the base of his dick and you feel him nudge the back of your throat. Your eyes immediately start to blur with tears but you don't stop, loving the effect you have on him too much to worry about ruining your carefully applied eyeliner.

"Holy fucking shit," he whimpers out, his thighs already starting to tremble. "Feels so fucking good... christ babe... am gonna blow my load if ya keep doing that."

You keep your eyes trained on him as you begin to bob your head even faster, watching his jaw fall slack, his chest rising and falling quickly with huge gasping breaths. He's fucking irresistible like this, soft and compliant in your hands, the fact that you're the one making him fall apart so utterly consuming it makes you breathless with your own need. You're just glad you're down on your knees for him because the sight of him completely unravelling before your eyes like this is enough to knock the wind right out of you.

"Fuck... I'm close already... like that, just like that... please don't stop... ughhh... you've got no idea how good that feels."

He shudders in ecstasy, his hips rising up in little waves to meet the rhythm you've set with your lips. The hand in your hair suddenly tightens its grip, hard, making you hiss around his length. Your discomfort's the last thing on your mind though, in fact it spurs you on, turning you on beyond belief that you've got him losing his goddamn mind like this, any semblance of self-control completely obliterated as he starts to writhe in the seat, the sluttiest, filthiest groans spilling from his lips.

There's tiny beads of sweat glistening on his collar bones where his shirt's unbuttoned, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he sucks in shallow breaths. His long neck's littered with a few tiny purple bruises, your earlier handiwork. You know you probably shouldn't have marked him up like that right before a show but there's a mischievous side of you that loves the idea of showing the world that he's yours and yours alone.

You're on a mission to make him come now, aware that time is getting tight and the risk of getting caught like this will only increase as the minutes tick by. Luckily for you you're so familiar with what he likes, you know all the little tricks that will reduce him to a moaning, whimpering mess under your touch. You moan around his shaft, the vibrations inching him even closer to the edge, his balls drawing up tight in your palm as you massage them gently, your other hand pumping his length fast and slick. His hips have taken on mind of their own, shamelessly bucking upwards as he fucks himself into your eager mouth.

"Fucking... love you... Y/N," he gasps out in between his gorgeous sounds, head thrown back as he lets the ecstasy take over, drowning in it, finally letting himself go.

You keep your eyes on him as you double your efforts, not wanting to miss a second of him falling apart. This is what you wanted, to see him totally unwind, his head clear of all thoughts apart from you and your lips and your tongue. He's totally wrecked, his handsome face contorted in pleasure and his jaw fallen completely slack. He's all breathy sighs and raw groans, praises and curses rolling off his tongue as he pushes your head firmly down, finally taking control so he can feel the blissful sensation of your throat constricting around him.

"That's it baby... that's it... take all of me... good girl... ughhh..."

You swallow down a gag, fighting the urge to splutter as you feel his cock pulsing hot and heavy on your tongue, his release spurting into your mouth and coating the back of your throat. His grip on your hair immediately loosens as his body falls slack and you pull back, gasping for breath, giving him a few more deliberate tugs just to hear him whimper from the sensitivity.

"Feeling all better now?" You smirk up at him, mightily pleased with yourself as you watch him fighting to control his breathing, his eyes glazed over and his expression dazed.

"Oh my god yes, you're unreal... that was amazing," he mutters, chuckling quietly to himself as he tucks his softening cock back inside his underwear, shunting his hips up off the chair so he can tug up his jeans. "And exactly what I needed... feel like I could take on the world after that!"

"How about playing a headline show?" You grin up at him, wiping your mouth on the back of your hand, savouring the sweet-salty taste of him that still lingers on your tongue.

"I reckon," he smiles back, eyes twinkling with that same old magical spark of excitement he always used to get before performing that's been absent these past few years. God how you've missed it. "You always know what I need love... every single time. How do you do that? C'mon, come up here, come and sit with me for a while. Reckon we've still got a few minutes before I need to get my shit together."

He reaches down for your hand which you take and he pulls you up on to your feet, and then he's pulling you gently down, urging you to take a seat on his lap. You scramble up, curling your body around him and resting your head on his shoulder, pressing your lips gently to his neck as you mumble against the warmth of his skin.

"I knew I needed you to get out of your head for a little while to get you to stop overthinking everything and clear your mind. Knew I had to find a way to distract you."

"You certainly did that," he huffs out a warm breathy laugh, shaking his head. "Reckon I need you on hand before every show from now on. Might even add you to my rider."

You giggle, sitting up a little straighter so you're both on eye level, your lips curving into a suggestive smirk. "Well, that's a service I can certainly provide... maybe I'll throw in a few extras back at the hotel too later if you play your cards right."

"Babe, if ya keep looking at me like that we're not even gonna make it back to the hotel after," he grins. "You know how I get when I come off stage. Fuck... I can feel it now, all that adrenaline.  Can't believe I'm just about to go back out there."

"You're gonna kill it, just like you do every single time. The fans adore you, why else would you sell out all these gigs, huh?" You raise up a hand to brush back a few sweat-dampened strands of hair from his forehead, letting your fingers run through his long locks. "They're here to see you doing what you do best, what you love, what they've been missing all these years... and you're gonna go out there and give them one of the best nights out that they're still gonna be talking about weeks and months from now... hell, maybe even years!"

"A little piece of Catfish history, huh?" He nods, eyes bright and eager, nerves melting away by the second as excitement starts to take over.

"A big piece, I'd say," you reply. A shiver of excitement courses through you as you hear the pre-show music suddenly fall quiet, a short pause before the opening bars of Dean Martin's Ain't That a Kick in the Head blare out of the onstage speakers. All at once the crowd noise which had been simmering at a low murmur swells into a cacophony of screams and whoops and whistles. The noise is muted back here in the trailer but you swear you can even pick out some individual cheers of devotion as the diehard fans who've been counting down this moment for years get caught up in the exhilarating anticipation of seeing their favourite band once again.

"Shit love, this is it. This is really happening," he breathes, blowing out a shaky exhale through his pursed lips. You can feel the tension in his limbs but it's not just nerves now, every muscle and tendon in his body reacting to the adrenaline rush pulsing through his veins, the excitement mounting.

"C'mon then, you'd better go... Helter Skelter's gonna start up any second now."

You slip down off his lap just as the trailer door swings inwards and you both turn to see Benji standing there, nervous excitement clear on his face. "You all ready mate? Stage manager's been pacing like crazy for the past half an hour. Reckon he thought you'd lost your nerve shutting yourself away in here like this..." his eyes flit to you and a cheeky smirk breaks out. "Of course I told him not to worry, I knew Y/N would be in here with you giving you one of her... ahem... infamous pep talks..."

He chuckles, his attention darting back to Van who's just realised as he rises up on to his feet that his flies are still undone, his face flushing beetroot red as he fumbles with his zipper. "Ahh crap! Works a treat though Blakes, I'm telling ya... you should definitely try it!"

"Oh my god, shut up you two," you giggle shyly, your own cheeks warming to the same hue. "Now go on... get on out there... don't keep the fans waiting!"

Benji turns to walk away and Van goes to follow him, but he comes to a stop, turning to you and cupping your face in his hands, pressing his lips hard against yours in a passionate kiss which leaves you breathless as he pulls back.

“Love you so much Y/N… and thank you…”

“You don’t have to thank me silly,” you smile, hands curled around his waist, your hips knocking together. “Like I say, it’s all part of the service!”

“I don’t mean just for that!” He laughs, his thumbs tenderly stroking your cheeks, his eyes pooling with tenderness and affection. “I mean for putting up with me these past few years. I know it’s been a tough ride and I’ve not always been easy to be around… but having you there by my side’s the only thing that’s got me through. You believed in me when no one else did.”

“I’m not the only one who believed in you,” you nod your head in the direction of the roaring crowd, watch Van’s smile grow, warm and genuine in a way that makes your heart swell. “They never stopped believing in you either.”

And there he is, the man you fell in love with all those years ago. Full to the brim with confidence, buzzing with the infectious energy that’s radiating off him, back to doing what he loves… what he was always meant to do. It’s Showtime.

[lxtstrip]

Homesick | C. Sturniolo

TW: weed/drugs mention

AN: first sturniolo fic — also don’t do drugs, smoke a joint (pack a bowl, rip a bong, eat an edible idc!) where/when legal and enjoy.

WC: 935

Pairing: Chris x Reader

“Stay in Boston.” Chris read with confusion from a crumpled note he found in his newly thrifted hoodie pocket. He didn’t think much of it, just some trash left by an artist in Los Angeles. Whether it was a photographer, videographer, songwriter, or maybe a failed sketch was anyone’s guess.

What he wasn’t aware of was the treacherous journey that hoodie had taken to get to him and its ties to the city he called home. The hoodie had gone through a family vacation, a boy’s high school career, moving into a college dorm, a relationship, many italian ice date nights, and a breakup. The hoodie signified an era of someone’s life; the same tagline as everything else you lay your eyes on at a thrift store.

He thought about everything he had ever known as the items were piling up in his newly found second hand collection. Donating his skates when he was 13, his mother cleaning out the garage of all their holiday things, and even down to his brothers piling clothes on the bed to list for sale online. He didn’t own much, just enough to keep him out of trouble, so the thought of someone having enough to give away was enough to make his head spin.

He kept the paper regardless of whether it was trash or not. Chris adored Boston and only associated positive memories with it. Fenway Park, Gillette Stadium and TD Garden were his go to places to hang with his friends, brothers, or even alone. He remembers frantically Googling ‘free things to do in Boston’ before dates and eventually dipping into his wallet after he couldn’t find anything good with pride. He was someone who would do anything to make anyone happy, whatever the cost, but he couldn’t apply that theory to himself.

When all was done and dusted for the day he decided to shut himself in his room and unwind. He ran his fingers down the spines of the books you gave him, reading the titles to himself, hearing your voice with each syllable. Empty promises of going to visit him came flooding back into his memory as soon as he saw your favorite book; tattered edges, taped spine, and a receipt paper bookmark. He shook himself out of it and went to his desk to pack a bowl.

With a swift flick of the lighter Chris pressed the glass to his lips and inhaled for a moment feeling the weight of the world lift off of his shoulders. He sat in his computer chair and looked around his room for signs of you - something, anything. He repeated the motion a few times and grabbed the torn piece of paper from his thrifting excursion.

“Stay in Boston.” Chris repeated to himself countless times before grabbing his phone. He knew your number by heart and as soon as he hit the call button an all-too-familiar ache came over him. He took another hit and exhaled when he heard your voicemail message play. He never thought he’d be here; alone, in his room, pining after a love lost.”

“Hey, it’s Chris…” he started. “I wish you were here. I’ve said it every day to myself while I’ve been out here. I know neither of us wanted this… I don’t think either of us knew what we wanted. I’ve been getting by on memories of stumbling to diners and stealing the mugs or skipping classes to go hang out at the park…” he took another hit and sighed. “What I’m trying to say is my heart will always have a space for you, my brain has always had one.”

You looked at your phone to see another voicemail from Chris. You shrugged it off thinking it was most likely another message he recorded at a party where he would preface it with whatever drug he was taking at the time; the west coast ruined him. As much as you hated to admit it you kept up with their videos and you locked in on Chris looking more gaunt every time.

You hadn’t answered a call from Chris in months and you never reached back out. You listened to his newest voice message as you recanted the first call since the split. He had just done a few lines of cocaine and he described it as feeling a sense of finally being able to focus to a greater extent. It shook you to your core that a once happy-go-lucky boy turned into… this. You couldn’t even begin to describe what you were feeling.

Chris often called to describe his high to you; cocaine, ayahuasca, benzos, acid, angel dust, salvia - the list went on. You were still his safe space and since he drew the conclusion you weren’t even listening to them he let his troubles go in the safe space of voicemails and dial tones.

Chris clutched the “Stay in Boston” note and thought about what it meant to the previous owner of the hoodie. Chris also thought about why this would fall into his lap and when it did. He slowly fell back into his nightly routine while he continued to contemplate that random piece of paper.

After a night of continuing keeping up his high, losing games, and melting his brain over three words Chris decided to head to bed. The second he was in bed it’s as if on cue he saw your name flash across his screen. It knocked his next breath out of him as he answered with a simple “Hello?”

“Chris…” you said followed by a shaky exhalation. “Please stay in Boston.”

[nfumbewalk]

Santa Muerte Tips

An altar for Santa, years ago.

One - Always set La Blanca's statue furthest to the right on a white cloth. La Roja goes next, then your other colors. La Negra prefers last.

Always have a glass of fresh water for her.

Greet her when you pass her by.

Try to honor her twice daily - morning and night.

Simple offerings work. Candles of all kinds, tequila, red wine, cigarettes or cigars smoked and blown on her, Copal resin incense, anointing oil, food, flowers, chocolate. She appreciates money, handmade items, owl statues, written prayers and requests, among many things.

Don't ever attempt to lie to her.

Lose that envy.

Make prayer on your terms. If you don't like prayer (I don't) tell her. There will be arrangements made for you, so no worries.

Also, use whatever prayers you resonate with. If you like Catholic prayer, use it. Pagan prayer, use it. If you do not like prayer, that's okay. Death understands.

Try focusing on one color of Santa Muerte at a time. I suggest the traditional white, red, and black. Start with White Santa if you have illness - such as physical pain or mental illness. See her for ultimate heavenly protection. If you have self-love or relationship problems, go to the Roja Santa. If you have a typical life with the good and bad, trials, joy - but need balance and structure, see the Black Santa. Suggestions, nothing more.

Do not just go to her for trabajos (works). She's not a magical genie.

Keep in mind that her miracles vary in size. When you may want a big change, she may bring you several smaller ones you're more apt to handle.

The size of the offering doesn't matter; it is the intent.

Remember that some other beings and entities do not like Santa Muerte and vice versa. You'll feel a clash oft times. For instance, some Palo nkisi only can tolerate Santa's La Negra and Dorada aspect. True? I experienced it. Some ask if Santa is jealous of other beings. Only if she's not honored or not honored FIRST.

The more candles the better - load up her shrine with as many flames as safe and as possible! Many sizes, many types, even LED! White, black, red, pink, orange, blue, purple, green, brown, Siete Colares, òracion candles, image candles, hexing candles, velas preparadas hechizos, you freaking name it - all to her altar for light and magical purposes.

Did Santa not grant your trabajo? Likely, at some point you stopped your fervency and lust for result. Its not her. You have to have the exact same passion everyday or her power wanes. No joke. She's a saint, she is non-corporeal and only feels when we feel - so you have to engage her with human emotion. Otherwise, your prayer is just another "rando human cry" to her, that she may consider granting when she gets tired of the incessant whining. For serious. Why do you all think some ppl fear her? Think about it! No accident or misconception here. Sorry white lighters. Santa is absolutely EVIL too. Why? She's there for everyone. Not just good regular folks but ALL types of criminals - not just drug traffickers. We are talking human trafficking, murder...you name it, Santa covers it. I've read of Santa Muerte getting *human* sacrifices for protection of these gang members in Mexico and South America. Don't fucking tell me Santa Muerte is "love and light" because she isn't!!! And no, I didn't read of these things online or in newspapers like "News of the World" tabloid garbage. I've seen it in local Tucson papers years back along with some Texas papers. This is because of Santa's growing popularity, especially in Southern border states. I used to live in Tucson, many years ago. Anyway - I digress.

Santa isn't to be treated like a lovey dovey cutie pie that happens to have a flesh ripping scythe... No, no...so don't baby talk her. I know some ppl do. Yes, she's an abuela but she can knock you on your ass so watch it little niñas. 😉 Careful, she has a temper.

No matter what your prayers say, try NOT to beg Santa for help. You may feel better not begging. But don't pay attention to me if you are Catholic or that's your background since that's all you know. I found that begging placed me down too many pegs. As a magician, you are taught that you have your own Will and it is highest. Old Crowley said: "Do what thou wilt." You don't need to beg another being because a magician has their own power. You have your own power, embrace it!

I keep hearing ppl say that they want to "give in to Santa" to be rid of some illness, be it mental, physical or - they want to give up everything to get a certain love relationship, etc. I say: Pls - DON'T give up anything!!!! Why not? Because the liklihood of Santa granting your prayers is about 30% in reality. Low numbers, yes. In reality, Santa doesn't fully answer everyone's prayers. Her fervent followers just see meaning in workaday things that SEEM like her answering their prayers. When Santa does answer a prayer, she is involved somehow. A situation ends up with something directly related to her. It happens to me. For instance: I was WILLING for trabajos. I was reaching below a cupboard to get my Santa Muerte Dorada (gold) statue to put her on my Santa altar. I was touching her statue when all of a sudden, I got a message from a client who wanted to pay me to do an offering to Santa Muerte for them. I did the offering. Then - more trabajos kept flowing in. Any prayers? No. Begging? No. Was she involved? Directly, yes.

Does Santa Muerte heal the sick? If its her prerogative, yes. But when I was on my death bed with pneumonia, she refused to heal me (but she came to me in a near death experience) saying that the actual human life is trifles and she cared about the living because the actual life "force" (Qi transformed to HTDE, my hypothesis) is the most powerful energy in the universe. She said death energy and HTDE is good for death workers to use but has no particular use for her! She sees just our force, or Qi as useful then. Some emotions like love, she appreciates and gives us lovey abuela feelings back. If Roja, she will lust, but not cheaply. La Negra is very serious. Her love becomes like vines. She'll choke you, be careful. Totally serious, you will not breathe right.

Misconceptions: Santa Muerte is jealous all the time. Nope. She is in certain situations, yes. If you put an unknown deity on her altar is one. If you dishonor her rank (She's FIRST in the household, sorry to ruffle feathers here), she'll be hell on wheels. Don't think Santa Muerte has preferences? Do a skin sacrifice and dedicate yourself to her. Then you get to know the real abuela. About black magic, like hexes or curses: Whether you believe in karma or not, if the curse wasn't just in Santa Muerte's eyes, you will face her retribution. She bears the time piece (hour glass) - its only a matter of time - keep in mind - that she bears the scythe, so its only a matter of time before she reaps you. And no, I have no belief in paganism. I'm a monotheist, I'm not a believer in the Wiccan Threefold Law either.

Santa Muerte is inexorably drawn to human drama because she's so concerned with our emotions, when real. She despises "followers" with false pretense and faux emotions. Cry real tears but from a crocodile! Santa Muerte can see the difference and she will punish - usually accidents, bad luck, relationship troubles, life imbalance, financial problems, and spiritual haunting.

Santa Muerte plays favorites. She prefers the lower and working class ppl in the world. It does NOT matter if her jewelry is real gold or silver. Its hers. It doesn't matter if your home is shabby. She's there. It doesn't matter if you can't afford a statue, use a photo on your phone, a book, a magazine, whatever! Pray or intone your feelings to her. Play her songs, draw her, write for her! Dedicate your space to her. Now, Santa Muerte doesn't get jealous of her other aspects - in case anyone has wondered that. Yes, as I said above, Santa Muerte will get jealous of other beings if she's not honored first and separately on her OWN altar. Pls just do not mix Santa Muerte with other beings, Saint or not. I don't have a silly reason. She doesn't like it. The ONLY beings I had no issues with were Jesus and the Virgin Mary, and these were candles - that's it!! Don't get me started about a "pagan" version of Santa Muerte - her um...ancient avatar...lol!! 😂 Mictecacihuatl is not Santa Muerte. You can choose to honor her as a pagan goddess of death but don't equate her with dear Santa because of pure association alone. The symbolism isn't the same. Mictecacihuatl had no scythe. Santa Muerte isn't associated with serpents and had no husband. Things don't add up. Just read carefully and research. And with Santa Muerte never assume anything!!!

Pls like & repost!

Salve, Santísima Muerte. ¡Mi señora de las tinieblas! Mi huesuda dama, gobernante de la muerte y vigilante de las almas!

M.M. 💖💀💖

[ambermotta]

How to not Kill your Crystals — Crystal Safety

How often have you looked up online and saw "to cleanse your crystals, use moonwater!", or "bury your crystals!"?

And how often did you hear of someone whose crystal ended up bleached, or entirely dissolved? (I'm looking at you, selenite)

Long post ahead but it's worth it, I promise

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Introduction

There are many methods of cleansing and charging crystals, but what beginner witches and pagans may not realize is that not every method is appropriate for every crystal.

While some methods are generally more harmless than others, if you don't know some of your crystal's basic properties, you might end up damaging them or even yourself!

So in this post I'll go through some general considerations and then list some cleansing & charging methods: the failproof, the ones you have to consider crystal safety, and the possibly harmful ones. Lastly, I'll list what you should NEVER do with your crystals.

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So what's wrong with Moonwater?

There is nothing wrong with moon or sun energy itself. What can be dangerous is Water and Sunlight. It's all about physics and chemistry.

Water

Some crystals dissolve or release toxic chemicals in water. Some examples are Selenite & and Desert Rose (which is a type of Selenite), and Hematite. That means you should never leave them near water, humidity, wash them, or put them inside any elixirs.

Sidenote on elixirs: if you are going to ingest any type of water that has been in contact with crystals, you MUST do a through research to make sure they don't release ANY chemicals in the water.

Plus you can infuse water with crystal energy without them touching the water.

by celestialearthminerals

The Sun

As for Sunlight, it can bleach your crystals and alter the coloration over time. The heat can also greatly damage them! An example of crystals that shouldn't be exposed to the sun is quartz. Pretty much all kinds, including amethyst and citrine.

Fun fact: burned amethyst clusters are very often sold as citrine. They have a burned yellow/brown/orange aspect to them, like in this image.

Real citrine has lighter yellow and orange tones.

burned amethyst – fake citrine

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Fail proof Cleansing & Charging

Nothing can go wrong with them when it comes to crystal safety. The worst that can happen is performing them poorly, which could affect cleansing and charging effectiveness.

Smoke

There's no way to go wrong here. You can light an incense or burn herbs of your choosing, pick up a crystal, and cleanse them with the smoke. You can use energetic herbs such as rosemary to charge them.

Tip: You can choose the herbs and incense based on your stones properties! (For example, use a fiery herb to charge a fiery crystal)

Sound

There are many ways to go about this. Singing bowls, affirmations, vocal singing, bells, prayer, chanting, galdr (rune chanting), calming and uplifting music...

Choose your sound, cleanse your space, set your intention, and let Sound do its job. If you are going to charge the crystals yourself using a method such as chanting to your stones, cleansing yourself first and having a ritualistic setup would be nice. It can help you focus and make sure you will only send positive energies to your crystals.

Reiki and Energy work

Absolutely no way to go wrong. Reiki is a wonderful cleasing/charging method.

You would have to be initiated in order to do Reiki, but if you can't afford that, any kind of energy work and energy manipulation will do. Just make sure to prepare yourself beforehand and focus on what you are doing.

You can use tools to help in energy manipulation, such as an athame or wand.

Water Glass Cleansing

You are NOT going to put your crystals INSIDE the water glass. That's why this is a safe cleansing method.

Fill a glass of water and set your intentions for the water to absorb all negativity from your crystals, then leave your stones & crystals near your glass of water for a few hours.

It is preferable to use a transparent glass. It doesn't have to be, but it is better. I also wouldn't recommend plastic of any kind.

Once you are done, dispose of the water, thanking it for its help, and wash the glass before using it again.

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Consider Crystal Safety with These

They are commonly believed to be harmless (and that's mostly true), but give them some thought anyway. I will explain why.

Immersing in Salt

Salt has strong cleansing properties. You can fill a small bowl with enough salt to bury your crystals and leave them there for a few hours to a day. You could also use salt water the same way.

Why be careful?

Salt can trigger chemical reactions in some crystals. I'm mainly talking about salt water, but just to be safe, it might be best to have caution with solid salt as well.

Burying in Earth

Burying crystals (especially if close to a plant or tree) is a popular cleansing/charging method. After all, they came from the earth! Who else could take better care of them?

You can leave your crystals buried outside for a few hours to a day and let the planet do its job.

Why be careful?

If you are going to leave crystals outside beneath the earth, you shouldn't have to worry about the Sun. It is WATER that you should worry about.

If it rains, the water will reach your crystals. If want to bury non water-safe crystals, make sure rain won't get to them.

Tip #1: Don't forget where you buried them

Tip #2: An alternative to burying outside is to bury crystals on your household plant's pot. You can even match the plant's own properties to the energy you want to work on your crystal.

Moonlight Bath

Not moon water, just moonlight. Just let your crystals bask in moonlight... It is almost failproof.

Why be careful?

I say it's almost failproof because it can only fail if you forget your crystals outside until the sun is out, or until it rains.

If you think you are prone to forgetting to collect your crystals before the sun shines, do this early in the night and set an alarm to collect your crystals in a few hours.

Tip: you can still cleanse and charge with Moon energy even if the weather is not favorable. Just be careful with rain.

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Possibly Harmful Methods

For these, you NEED to know your crystals before you do them. Especially the ones involving water and heat, you should take into consideration your own health due to possible chemical releases!

Sun charging

While it can be great to have sun energy on some of your crystals, this is one of the unsafest methods for the crystals. A lot of them will bleach, change color and even crack after prolonged sunlight exposure. If you're leaving crystals in the Sun, I suggest you leave them out for no more than an hour.

Also, watch out for weather changes if you have a crystal that is not waterproof.

Sidenote: if you have crystal necklaces, remember you might also accidentally expose them to sunlight and rain when you wear them outdoors.

Sun water

Can't have your crystals in the Sun, but it's a fire crystal so you would like it to be charged with sun energy?

If they are water safe, make some sun water, fill a bowl with it, and let your crystals sit in it for a few hours.

Moon water

As long as your crystal is waterproof, it should be fine. Just fill a bowl with moon water and let your crystals be for a few hours.

If you don't know if your crystals are water safe, it's best not to risk it.

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Never Ever...

... Expose your crystals to intense heat

No candles, no hot water, no intense sunlight. Not only you will very likely damage your crystal, intense heat and burning of crystals can release toxic fumes.

... Use chemicals to clean crystals

No soaps, alcohol, detergents, salts, etc. They might trigger chemical reactions when in contact with some crystals. So unless you know exactly what you're doing, keep these away from them.

... Touch dissolved crystal water

If you put your crystal in water and a chemical reaction happened, it's best to not touch the water. It could cause skin irritation and intoxication.

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Conclusion

Sometimes we leave crystals outside so that they can be bestowed Nature's blessings, and we forget about them. It happens, as do all accidents.

But you can avoid a lot of damage (yours and theirs) by simply studying about them before submitting them to anything that could be potentially harmful.

Remember your crystals need a lot of love and care, and that goes for their physical care, too. They are unique because of their physical and chemical properties as well, not just spiritual ones.

Thank you for reading and love your crystals!