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#only in gotham
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I moved to Gotham a few months ago so I could attend GCU. So far we've only gotten one visit from Harvey dent coming in to teach a class. (As horrifying as that was, he was actually a pretty good teacher). Anyway, now that I'm able to afford a phone I finally downloaded Tumblr. We'll see how it goes from there.
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Jason: Dee have you seen all those Gothamite TikToks?
Me: yes sir (I say as I’m spinning full speed in my chair)
Jason: you should totally post one about the time Two Face taught you how to flip a coin while waiting for the police.
Tim: Nah she should do a TikTok about that time she almost moved to metropolis and saw rent for a similar apartment was almost $5,000
Dick: or what about her and Riddler’s poker games
Me: can y’all stop exposing me and my crimes
Bruce: or about that time Lex Luthor got swarmed by birds after calling you something I shall not repeat
Tim: that did bring so much joy. Proof the city hates him as much as the rest of us.
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gotham-witch · 1 hour
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Mothaíonn mo chraiceann cosúil le comhlacht eachtrach agus ní mór dom fáil réidh leis. tá gach rud chomh te agus glórach agus geal agus tá mo chuid éadaí suffocating agus boladh an deataigh agus is féidir liom a bhlaiseadh an alcól cén fáth a ndeachaigh mé go dtí an chóisir
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rad-batson · 2 months
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I’m like 99% sure the Gotham Elite’s social customs are fucked up because Autism-in-Human-Form Bruce Wayne was just so fucking tired of high society’s weird and incomprehensible (and frankly ableist) social etiquette that he went full Virgin Mary About-to-Invent-a-Major-World-Religion, said “oh haven’t you heard?” and just started making his own random social rules. Like who’s going to stop him? The other elites? The dinosaur CEO’s? He’s richer. He hosts the better parties. He could tank your business in a weekend. So when he says “Weird passive aggressive fork language is out. Having a different utensil for every different food texture is in,” you use a different utensil for every food texture. Now when foreign elites visit Gotham, they have to learn a completely new set of social customs to fit in. It’s like a cult, but the cult is run by the most influential man in the world and Gotham’s personal Jesus. The followers are more likely than not mafia bosses named after a bird. You will be judged. There’s a test. Yes, you do get brownie points for being nice to the servers. For the love of god, stop making so much eye contact. The cloth napkins are folded into little ducks. Welcome to Gotham.
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emo-batboy · 2 months
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A Wild Battinson (Social Media AU)
Part 45 (Masterlist)
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(Part 46)
@bruciemilf it’s been months bestie but it’s tradition
If you follow me on my main, you know I haven’t actually been gone. I’ve just been on a few side quests. I’m also being fought over by two companies rn so that’s fun (and completely stressful, please I’m just a 22yo teenage girl) but we’re BACK for a limited time! Idk I’ve got like at least five parts in my drafts so let’s see what happens.
TOODLES
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waynefamilyreactions · 8 months
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(If somebody else already did it, I apologize)
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mikeluciraphgabe · 10 months
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I think there should be more fics about Gothamites talking back to the bats - specifically Batman
“Get inside” “you’re not my dad”
“Stop trying to fight the joker, PLEASE” “fuck you, I do what I want”
“The streets aren’t safe tonight” “bro it’s Thursday, one of chillest days. Please shut the fuck up about telling me about gotham like I wasn’t born here thanks”
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qcomicsy · 11 months
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Batman sitting on the Batmobile: You need to watch your fighting stand Robin, when we get back–
Batman: You're not Robin.
Cosplayer very much terrified, who hadn't had the courage to tell who he was when a 6'0ft tall man dressed as a bat dragged him into the batmobile:
--
Tim in a Uber on his way to a comic con along with a bunch of other teenagers: I sense I made a mistake somehow.
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redrobinforreal · 8 months
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Bernard is up and at it again
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batfamism · 9 months
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#OnlyinGotham (English Class Edition)
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Red Hood, after being kidnapped and stripped of his guns: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve.
Random Gothamite, who was also kidnapped: I think you mean cards.
Batman, long suffering: They do not.
Red Hood, pulling out knives: I did not.
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ev-arrested · 3 months
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Imagining clicking on a Snapmap hotspot in a superhero city and it’s just shit like this lmao
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Inspired by this thread
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oneshotprincess · 9 months
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i imagine that someone in gotham runs a 'how long has it been since bruce wayne adopted a kid?' twitter and it updates regularly with the exact number of days since whatever child's official adoption announcement. the replies are full of jokes about bruce wayne's adoption addiction
i also imagine that every once in a while, bruce wayne's official twitter account qrt's the latest countdown with 0 days, and that's how the public finds out about the latest wayne kid
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mylifeingotham · 3 months
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dick-nightwing-grayson · 10 months
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Someone draw Bruce wayne wearing this
@jube-art @oifaaa
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emo-batboy · 5 months
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A Wild SuperGuy? (Social Media AU)
Part 44 (Masterlist)
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(Part 45)
Istg I made this entire chapter in two hours. It's like I was smacked upside the head with the opposite of writer's block. (Also shoutout to the two people in part 43's notes that immediately predicted what this update would be about.)
@bruciemilf how’s it hangin’
Drink water, enjoy the weather, and have a great day :D
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