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#only this is me cutting out my heart
yashley · 5 months
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I take such good care of them. They’re the only things I have of my parents.
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recurring-polynya · 7 days
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i want the boots rukia is wearing in this color spread more than anything
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autumngracy · 19 days
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Not me creeping up to the wordcount of the fourth longest book ever written
#A Reflection of Starlight#AROS#valvert#fanfic#writing#Hey I switched back to LibreOffice again after setting up my new computer#(RIP my old computer's installation of MS Office 2009)#And also my old computer in general as it is now giving me the blue screen of death upon boot#but ANYWAY#does anybody know how to make LibreOffice stop highlighting formatted areas? BC with Dark Mode it's highlighting white text#which makes it impossible to read my footnote and page numbers#Also I CANNOT believe this program was coded to be so that 'Ignore' and 'Ignore All' options only do so for the CURRENT SESSION ONLY#Like what in god's name???#I spent 3-4 hours reformatting AROS after converting it only to learn that all the 'errors' I told it to ignore just popped back#the second I reopened the document like jesus christ#Why even offer those options if it doesn't do it permanently for that document file#HHHHHHHhhhhhhHHHHHH#I then spent another several hours being forced to change the language formatting to French for all the French bits#JUST so it would stop underlining all of them in red#And there's no way for me to get rid of the underlining on things like cut off bits of dialogue#bc they are NOT proper words and I refuse to add them to my Dictionary (thus polluting it) just to get rid of them#Ugh#So anyway remember years ago how I joked about what if I accidentally wrote a fanfic longer than the source material itself#That being one of the longest books ever written (technically THE longest book ever written#if we're counting the FRENCH version of it and not the English translation#And yeah I know I technically split AROS into 3 books but that was only for reader convenience#It's still one book in my heart#And also because I think it would be REALLY funny to surpass Hugo's wordcount#Which is entirely plausible bc in English it was only about 531k so I only a little over 100k off and I think I can easily make that#with the material I have left to write but is already mostly plotted out
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freckledhylian · 1 year
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“I looked for you! I looked everywhere for you!”
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radioves · 1 year
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its quite shrimple actually
#[Intro: Docm77] Listen Grian Nobody touches my bush You're done [Verse 1: Docm77] It all started when Grian touched my redstone He played#himself like a xylophone set on automatic Doc Monster is a savage‚ with technical skills And crazy vocal acrobatics I’m a legend of NHO‚#with Etho‚ Beef and Double O DocMC is coming for you sevenfold Got Rendog and other firemen To douse the flames that you shoot at this#To douse the flames that you shoot at this leviathan Iskall can try again [Verse 2: Wels & Xisuma] Yo You think i’m hiding‚ I’m just biding#my time Putting pen to paper‚ coming up with rhymes We’re the star-studded group that got together just to crush you Once we start something#you know we're gonna see it through I'm the knight‚ the soldier who brings the fight at first light Y'all had to incite‚ so now I gotta#indict You're guilty of getting murdered with words Y'all are out-gunned‚ go home nerds Wohoo [Chorus: All] Hermit Gang Hermit Gang Hermit#Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang Hermit#Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang [Verse 3: False & Xisuma] If you think you can stop the symmetry‚ that's false G Team is dialing for help‚#but I'm ignoring their calls And when their bodies dissolve‚ you’ll know that False’s on a killing spree Try to stop my pvp and perish#painfully I'm the queen of hearts‚ heads and body parts Your diamond armor can’t compare to my martial arts I'll send a poison dart‚ to make#you breathe your final breath G Team's name will be the only thing left Yeah [Verse 4: Impulse] Caffeinated‚ animated‚ redstone innovator My#behavior's crazy‚ can’t phase me‚ impulse is never lazy (Uh) Tango‚ why would you betray me‚ now my scope is aiming (What) Without a sound‚#without no hesitation‚ my creations are amazing Better watch your step or the G Team will end up blazing Who's the better team? There is no#controversy But before it's said and done you'll be begging us for mercy (All-right) [Chorus: All] Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚#Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang#Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang [Verse 5: Xisuma] X gone give it to ya‚ I'm gone give it to ya X gone give it to ya‚ WHAT Lyrical boxing‚ dropping#blows on all my foes And the G Team they're looking unclean needing some sunscreen Getting burnt by words to hurt this herd of nerds It’s#absurd how my rhymes got them injured Danger‚ danger I got lasers to cut 'em up like razors It's flexin' season and I got flavor Their#Their weak defenses like trenches and fences That these dense heads are presenting [Bridge: Xisuma & Docm77] They're presenting them alright#they're not very good I could walk over that‚ I could jump over that I could use an ender pearl I could use my elytra Come on G Team‚ jeeze#Yo‚ I don't know what to say Um‚ let me think [Chorus: All] Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang#Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang [Verse 6:#Rendog] Now I'm back‚ got some things I wanna say (Yeah) Whats the letter that starts the alphabet‚ Ay Ladies gotta get in line‚ the#diggity's be on the way (Cliff) Cleo dont know who she freaking with (Ooh) All the signs say to notify her next of kin This diggity dog be#dropping bombs‚ nothing but hits (Ay) Spit that rhyme again (brrr)‚ 'cause the message is I can mumble rap and still be the best there is#(Woo-ah) [Chorus: All] Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang#Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang [Outro: Mumbo] Oh you wanted me to do a verse? I’ll#I'll have to check with G Team- I mean uh‚ I'd have to‚ I'll have to check with my schedule And see if I can...see if I'm able to do that#sort of thing I'm a busy guy‚ got lots of ....things to do Yeah‚ I mean‚ I just don't know if its a good idea for me to be part of this song
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percki · 4 months
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as an appalachian girl lucy gray’s character (and by extension the covey band) really cuts me deep because that’s my people. my life, my dances, my instruments. and within two-three generations all of it is gone.
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cinna-bunnie · 2 months
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u ever hope an ex is doing good then hear about the direction their life went and it's all just fucking tragic
#i got A Lot of tea from my coworkers who used to b friends with her on lunch bc we share my office#and we went in complete opposite directions. she's changed so much it's kind of scary even to her friends#she cut off all her queer and trans friends and said “[her] values have changed” and agrees with things her idiot toxic boyfriend#says when it's like girl this is SO so disappointing i know u know better. you are so much better than this u deserve sm better than this#i don't know if she's actually gone Full Catholic but she's extremely family oriented n her family is Mexican Catholic iykyk#it was a big problem in our relationship bc I'd only get to see Other People once every couple of months 😓#anyways new dude is extremely machismo and even by those standards he's Far on the aggressive side it's really scary#she even wants to get married and have kids but like the scenes he makes and the way he blows up on her and makes her cry#really hurts my heart to learn about. she's such a beautiful smart and sweet girl i was hoping she'd figure out what she wants for#herself after we split. and i don't wanna make assumptions about her thought process but it sounds like she got more reliant on her#fam not less to the point that even her friends were stressed about it and aksjdkak. i could see how someone who#has the energy and desire to go to Everything and gets along great w ur fam is nicer compared to like.#a trans woman who feels like a caged animal and is constantly begging for rest she never gets#but are all the sacrifices you're making worth it? there is zero “haha that sucks” it's just. tragic. u cut off ur childhood best friend for#being enby?? I'd imagine she doesn't feel “lonely” but god she sounds trapped and i worry for her#but otoh hearing who she turned into really gave me closure bc no fucking way would i want to date someone like this...#and that is a nice thing to heal inside of me albeit healing from something fucked up#just the thought of “maybe. one day” till y'all have changed so much u can't recognize and don't want each other#i assumed she wasn't the same person anymore bc i wasn't but hoped she changed for the better. but 😐 ig not. idk.#I'm gonna have complicated feelings on this all day im At work and can't focus lol
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chrisbangs · 10 months
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whatsanameanyway · 5 months
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honestly still the biggest personal tragedy of session 5 is that when grian joined gem in the tower building. in gems episode, there were almost a solid 10 minutes of just that. them hanging out, calm, peaceful, no danger, away from people that could hurt them . and guess what ? grian left LESS THAN 3 MINUTES OF THAT IN HIS EPISODE dbjksffejw
#rant in tags#gems episode straight up got me to start drawing the most complicated fanart in a year or so just of that scene#and grian just. cut most of it out#(gem probably did too. but come on g. only 3??)#i think i know what im feeling. i called it in a yt comment on session 2 or so#im clinging to the last remains of peace and happiness we get#i watched every pov and i think this episode grian's is my favourite (even if he cut out most of my fav scene overall)#he almost died' rigged a charity' loved bdubs and built a tower. it was nice#he barely interacted with the reds (love them too but). he was just hanging out. the cleo&etho&grian & i guess bdubs team is my fav#literally not a single spec of danger in that house. all positivity (thanks etho for starting the 'we love bdubs' day too bdw)#even martyns single trap got disarmed immediately#i was hoping for an grian & cleo team because of the potential for chaos but i think i love this more at least for now#ive been thinking too. the heart foundation honestly stresses me out so much#i love them with all my heart. i do#but i dont trust bigb at all. havent since episode one and wont start now. feels like that man has no loyalty to tango and skizz#hes very fun dont get me wrong but he makes me worried. i still have no idea what his deal is#theyre also very open. no fortification ( i like walls theyre safe)#and their system is very easy to rig (as shown in this episode)#(also bigb straight up saw grian throw his quartz in and said NOTHING)#“this is a death game! why do you not want death? what are you even here for?” SHUSH#this is all /positive. its good stress#(and i love death and betrayal martyn's win is my fav ending so far)#i just got too used to the peace and happiness at the beginning#i did not mean to rant this much but i have a lot of feelings about this series i dont have anywhere else to express#trafficblr#secret life
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m0e-ru · 11 months
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izanami is such a fucking asshole with Marie that she says—she's TOLD—she's a "spy" on humanity. a little fucking prick decided by the same bitch that lied to her face like it was breathing. I mean, you can't say iznmi's wrong right now because they know that you kept her alive. Which meant they were there at her tomb (BECAUSE THEY WERE THERE TO PERSONALLY CLOSE HER CASKET). BUT this fucking bastard laughs when they notice for the first time that you have the comb. the comb they should be full aware of where it's going, which hands it's being passed to—IF THEY WERE AWARE IN THE FIRST PLACE. if they actually USED Marie as the spy she was made to believe she is. She's the perfect vessel, the perfect walking nanny cam for Inaba, but NO. the ONLY time izanami has ever seen through her was in her tomb. has ever used her. has ever possessed her. in the realm definitely not for humans. the world they were born in and not an external factor to the nature of their birth.
BITCH gives a poor girl, dressed up as the representation of personality and rebellion and her poet aspect showing her loneliness and isolation, a false sense of purpose right when she was born. that she's just a trashcan for fog with a tomb adorned in flowers and memories at its dumpsite. that she was there to watch people and walk around the human world to remember nothing and be remembered by nobody. if yaldaboath can kick an old man out of his stupid blue office, what more than izanami using a child as a periscope in their guinea pig's dreambase of operations and understand the power of Persona and Truth and Bonds and counteract these meddling kids' and their Power of Friendship in stopping the formation of the New World where they can grant the majority's wish to live in lies and their stupid shitfuck fog.
not that I'm saying I do want god to make full use of their powers and have a better advantage at rigging their social experiment that already concluded by this point but like. fucking asshole didn't even need Marie. so why. put her through so much unnecessary grief. why not dispose her form the start when she'd be thrown away in the end anyway. why make her go through this field trip to remember the home she loves and protects if she could only remember.
why make her suffer through this humanity both of you were supposed to have. make her believe she's nothing and have her put herself to sleep quietly pushing away all the people she loves and who love her when you'll just make fun of her entire existence. did you do this to laugh? were the humans you born from give you the template to make people who search for the truth suffer? that anyone thinking of protecting these selfish masses should just die? that developing humanity is a bad thing? that that's your humor? could you not kill her yourself? was this only for your entertainment? a sick representation of the people who gave birth to you truly are?
#// this some kind of fuck you baltimore kind of shit sorry something happened to me#persona 4 spoilers#persona 5 spoilers#p4#marie persona#izanami persona#⛽️🌫#sulululat#pagsususuri#// actually no I'm NOT sorry I am izanami hater no 1 marie lover forever goodness gracious#// wrapping my head around iznmis motives for years until I'm sick in the stomach because I HATE THEM and I'M SO MAD#// iznmi is such a puppet to me shes so hollow I literally don't know how else to describe it so concisely#// rise was right this bitch has no heart. maybe because of the shitty writing or whatever.#// like you can cut them from their marionette strings or take out their battery to power off and it's just like that#// iznmi is Nothingness but also everything at the same time. a face and voice for the collective that gave birth to them because they're#// humanity itself. they have no substance or 'self' because they're a representation of a collection of egos without their own being#// the only 'personality' you'll get from iznmi is just a representation of this concentrate of human unconsciousnesses and#// iznmi is just some sort of front. gesturing my hands right now ive been thinking about this for YEARS#// marie grew her own ego she cultivated it and took good care of it with friends she could trust and love with the heart she has#// she's 'marie' and it's just so solid and Real to me#// it would make sense that iznmi is gone because they're Nothing to begin with.#// if anything I'd give iznmi the best actor award if you're going to ask me anything#// okay yeah hatership won but so did the sleepies goodnight guys sorry for the yaoi here's my defense
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medaeium · 2 months
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𝗟𝗨𝗖𝗔𝗦 𝗕𝗔𝗥𝗥 𝗖𝗔𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗔 𝗥𝗢𝗟𝗟 : 7 / ∞ featuring lily winchester ( @lilyspaintedred )
— 𝘮𝘶𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵 / 𝘳𝘦𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨 —
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robotic-maid · 9 months
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How things are going again… update I guess? Still can’t figure out how to read more on mobile. I’m just typing this out so it can leave my head.
#nights are really hard for me#mornings are also really hard for me#I think my jobs burning me out#and I haven’t been able to sleep very well much at all#I’ve only been getting 3-5 hours if I’m lucky because my nightmares are really bad so I usually just stay awake#I mean I have to get up at 4am anyway so what’s the point#do you know how it feels to be in pain but you can’t cry because your body’s grown so used to it?#so it feels like crying because it’s Wednesday again#which I can’t justify because tommorrow is Thursday and that is your new normal#your new normal is working so hard you don’t have the time to see your dog and your cars ac is out and you spend all your money on the room#you sleep in 15 minutes away from the office you are stuck at more than 11hoirs a day#you ask your job to adjust your schedule and they say they can’t without cutting your hours and you need the money to survive#it’s too much#but feeling this way or not feeling this way won’t make a difference because the only other options will make your living situation harder#I’m so tired but I don’t have any better options right now so I have to keep waking up and working#I feel horrible spending time with me friends because I get tired after an hour and I worry that I’ve become#too flaky or something#I can’t stay up late and I’m already stressed out so I just can’t keep up with everyone and I don’t want to be a drain#I wish my heart would just stop some times#my meds stop me from hurting myself or crying or sleeping too long but these feelings always come to me when I wake up#I’m disappointed I woke up again#I don’t want to keep doing this I don’t know how long I can keep going#my body is breaking down like my car is breaking down#I don’t want to keep doing this I need more than a day off work a week I want to see my dog I don’t want to be poor but I don’t want to#wake up just to spend all day in an office getting yelled at while my coworkers come in and leave before me#I know I can do this I know I need to keep doing this I know there’s nothing better for me than this#I shouldn’t say these horrible things out loud because they’ll just wear me down faster#there’s nothing that will help me I need to help myself#this is en endurance test and I need to keep it up because if I fail I will lose so much more than I have#I wish I could cry I wish I could break down and scream but what would be the point? it won’t help it won’t fix anything m
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thedeadthree · 1 year
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— OCS AS A LOVE LANGUAGE.
TAGGED BY: @kingsroad, @chuckhansen, @echo3-1 and @marivenah to take this cutest uquiz for the loves! ty ty <3
TAGGING: @feystepped, @griffin-wood, @risingsh0t, @queennymeria, @denerims, @jendoe, @phillipsgraves, @unholymilf, @morvaris, @aartyom, @jacobseed, @florbelles, @adelaidedrubman, @leviiackrman, @jackiesarch, @loriane-elmuerto, @shellibisshe, @veisshaupt, @aceghosts, @blissfulalchemist, @shadowglens, @malefiicarum, @leondaltons, @pearlcscent, @arklay, @roofgeese and you!
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A KNIFE CALLED GRIEF.
You have left your house, you have left those people behind, but what are you going to do about the memories which have taken root in you? You can run but not without them. You want someone to sit with you on this cool marble floor while the sun burns everything.You want them to cut your rotten heart and theirs too. You want to sit with it in front of you, let them see you with all your flaws, which haven’t been your fault but you have been made to believe so, and you want them to love you anyways. Because you know you’d do that for them.
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AN UNDOING INFLUENCE.
Can someone tell you what to do? You have been carrying so much love within you for so long it is starting to turn into anger (why does it matter, all you see is red anyways) and you have been dragging this body through each day and every night you are split open on your bed and it is so so so lonely. If someone were to walk in while you were on your bed that way and they stitched you back in a new way, lining the seams with their love and kisses, you’d probably find this dreary world a little more bearable. You want someone to turn you over and over until you look in the mirror and see yourself looking back at yourself with a gentleness which has been lacking in you since forever.
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VIOLENT DEVOTION.
Everyone seems to think you are faithless, but the thing is you haven’t yet found someone who will bring you to your knees and make you raise your head in reverence. This world has stopped bringing you joy, you want more of the divine. You want to dedicate your entire existence to someone; you want to make them realise they are not something terrible, make them see just how much beauty they are bringing to this world. You want to be the only one for them, the only one they have chosen to love. There’s a god shaped pit inside of you and only they can fit in it. And what if they choose to walk away? Didn’t I say this was violent devotion?
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A STORY THAT ENDS IN BLOOD.
The world has always been unkind, and when you have turned to yourself for comfort you have come face to face with an empty pit which seems to be laughing. You don’t care if it kills you but once you find someone whom you love and who loves you back, you will make sure nothing happens to them. They are yours. You will make a tear in this world and create a new place for you and your love if it comes to that. Because it has always been about love, and it is how it always ends.
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CONSUMPTION OF A HEART UNLOVED.
Here’s a dining table, here’s a set of plates. Here’s your heart, red and bursting with love. You have tried to love people all your life, but no one seems to understand you. Your own mother perhaps forgot to teach you how to protect yourself, maybe people whom you trusted chose to look the other way when all you wanted was a hand full of love. All you want is someone to take from you, all you want is someone to dig in your heart and eat it and kiss you afterwards - bloody and red. You want them to tell you that you are what they have been looking for, you want to be the one who ends their hunger.
#only if you want to! 🤍🕊#oc: una nathaira uller#oc: iovanna dayne#oc: maekar targaryen#oc: illyria ilmestys#oc: yoren snow#if anyone needs me i will be losing my mind teehehe thanks! <3 THEY GOT EVERY ANSWER I EXPECTED THEM TO GET JASNXJNS#dont look at me about una's answer don't look at me about unas answer IM SO NORMAL ABOUT UNAS ANSWER IM FINE TOTALLY REALLY!#'you can run but not without them' teehehe when she + aeggy tried to run off to who knows where to avoid his coronation bc he asked her to!#and that was within like....... a week ish or less of knowing each other skjnakj twin flame lover thing etc etc#AND THENN 'you want them to cut out your rotten heart and theirs too' SCREAMING CRYING THROWING THINGS THROWING UP ETCC#OHMYGODMYGODOHMYGODD#(mo if im shrieking in ur dms later bc of this you know why sdjffbv)#carolinee CAROLINEE i must know aeryals answer bc WAHH at his answer? you go aery!!!!! lucky duck etc!!!!!#'There’s a god shaped pit inside of you and only they can fit in it' UHHHHHH im fine this is fine#'you haven’t yet found someone who will bring you to your knees and make you raise your head in reverence' LOSING ITT#VANNNAAAA an undoing influence i mean are you kidding? HAD TO CALL HER OUT LIKE THAT IN FRONT OF THE SEVEN AND EVERYONE HUH#blah blah their love is their undoing etc etc <3#ILLLLYYYYY 'this story will end in blood' her as the descendant of the bloodstone emperor the battle of the gods eye HER MAGIC RED EYEE#reflecting the same shade as the dragon she has bonded to I MEANN 'you will find someone who loves u and loves u back' nothing will ->#to them? 'You will make a tear in this world and create a new place for you and your love if it comes to that' and how that fits ->#with her and a*emond......? HOLD ON WHILE I LOSEE IT im normal about illys answer im normal about them MY BABIESS#and like oh my god by how yoren is so in need of knowing he's more than a name his own need to love and be loved but its behind a wall?#a wall of pride and something he has had to build because he's so expectant to be hurt again..? IM FINEE#leg.tagged#leg.ocs#TY TYY this was the cutest to do! called out the babies in front of god and everyone! love that for them <3
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elenadoeslife · 10 months
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your first love hits different
#another day another vent-in-the-tags post#i came across a picture of me and my fiest boyfriend of five years today. picture must've been 10 years old at this point#found many more pictures of him and us on my dad's old pc#i can just feel my body pull and heart ache when i look at him in the pictures#wondering what my life would've looked like if i hadn't broken things off between us#we tried to stay friends and a couple of months later we went for a drink. when daying goodbye he moved in to kiss me#i was hesitant and stepped away. he couldn't bare having me in his life while not being together so he cut off all contact#don't get me wrong in any of my thoughts- i love babe whole heartedly and he's the only man for me now and in my future#it's just that nagging feeling burried deep. the 'what if's. what if i felt more confident about my body back then?#what if i hadn't moved on so quickly? what if i had let him kiss me?#i tried texting him telling him i was approved for gbp surgery (i broke things off because i was very insecure about my body)#he congratulated me and sincerely wished me all the happiness in the world but also asked me not to contact him again after this#it's been 7-ish years but every now and then i wonder how he's doing and what he's up to#he doesn't really have social media apart from facebook (and that page is private) and i only stayed in touch with his former best friend#but i'm not gonna ask him because i know they haven't spoken in years either#i've had plenty more relationships after him but i rarely ever think about those guys#am i okay? is this normal? lol#i should get my head out of this rabbit hole asap#add: the picture is almost 15 years old lol. my math ain't mathing. we met in 2009. not that it's important#i think i just moved on too quickly and didn't allow myself time & space to grieve. that's why he keeps popping up in my thoughts now & then
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why does princess quest fuck me up. so incredibly.
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terracottahearted · 2 years
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