#ooc: in accordance to your past tags i would very much like to punch you in the face xDDD

[chick-from-nz]

Paper, Scissors, Rank (Ch: 4)

CHARACTER/PAIRING: Modern!Carrillo x Army!OC (eventually) 

WARNINGS: maybe some swearing, military slang, more military talk,  spelling and grammatical errors. Flippy floppy points of view and tenses. Could be very OOC/AU for some. Carrillo may not be narcos accurate as this is an AU. Some OC x OC 

AUTHORS NOTE:  big thanks to @1zashreena1 and @girlpornparadise for letting me bounce ideas off them  while writing this, hopefully y'all enjoy this and finally, they meet! My first time writing this way so, be nice?

WORD COUNT: 2.1k

CHAPTER:   4 OF ?

TAG LIST (OPEN): @girlpornparadise @1zashreena1 @xxidontwikeitxx @nicke0115 @allalngthewtchtower @lettherebrelight 

 It's as if running into a wall of muscle knocked some sense into her. The name on the shirt scared her enough to trigger her cadet instincts to kick in quickly to allow her to shake the hands off, step back, and salute, despite being inside, which was a tradition reserved for only the army. She held the salute for longer than necessary, wondering why the officer in front of her wasn’t returning it, instead just staring at her with one gorgeously sculpted eyebrow raised. Begrudgingly she dropped her arm, salute unreturned, and an embarrassed look on her face.

“Sir?” the title came out as more of a question than a statement like it normally would. Confusion was spreading through her brain like wildfire, this was new to her. Why was the high ranking officer, the highest she’d ever been in the presence of other than her father, not returning the mark of respect that had been drilled into her since a kid, although, given he wasn’t from around here, it may not be something he is used to. That and he probably never associates with someone that is as low of a rank as herself.   

“Perfect just the Cadet I was looking for, although I must say, not the meeting I was expecting” 

Fuck, that voice, I think I’m in love. Was the first thought that came to mind. That voice, gravely and like the richest of chocolates dossed with the slightest accent, matched the attractive man that stood before her, and hearing it oh so close to her, it made her insides melt. Her imagination definitely had not done his voice justice during any day dream that contained the handsome Colonel in front of her. Oh and how glorious those daydreams were, thinking about a particular dirty one where those huge arms of his were wrapped tightly around her, while his chest was pressed so tightly against her back had her blushing the spot.  Damn it what is it with me and crushing on the higher ups, get a grip girl! 

His words finally clicked in her head. “I’m sorry Sir, what do you mean you were looking for me?”. The confusion was most definitely evident on her face. 

The Colonel chuckled lightly, dark eyes fixated on the cadet before him. “I was made aware that the LT. Colonel was to inform the squadron of my choice tonight, is that not what happened Cadet?” 

Confusion once again hit Greyson full force. Did Sinclair know the whole time that someone had been picked. Of course he did, he said they had been informed, but according to the Colonel in front of her, he knew the exact Cadet that had been chosen. Why hadn’t he said anything to them then?.  

It was at the end of the previous thought that the Cadet deflated, maybe he had told the cadet that had been selected, but it just wasn’t her. Shame ran through her like a lead bullet, of course she wouldn't have been chosen, what Colonel in their right mine would chose a Cadet who had been swept up in a rumour that she was fucking the LT. Colonel in charge of overseeing the entirety of the training squadron just so she could make her way to top recruit. 

“Cadet? I asked you a question”. His tone was clipped. Harsh but straight to the point, and just the right amount of authority to snap the cadets attention from  being in her own thoughts to looking him dead in the eye. Before she quickly averted her gaze to stare at his boot, that alone made him smirk. Good , he thought, she knows her place. 

“I’m sorry Sir, I ummm, I got lost in my thoughts, and umm, no the, ah, the LT. Colonel did not inform us of who you had picked, Sir...” Greyson stuttered, the Colonel was quite the intimidating man up close. All broad shouldered, straight backed and cold facade. If she was being quite honest with herself, she thought the rumours of his brutality might well be true from where she was standing. The way he was watching her was like a predator waiting for his prey to make the one wrong move that would land them in his jaws. A shiver  of fear ran down her spine at the thought. 

The Colonel huffed in annoyance. “Then I suggest you spend less time in your head and more time paying attention, especially when being addressed by a senior officer, Cadet! A mistake like that will get one of your crew killed if you're not careful” 

The cadets stomach plummeted at the thought, she knew all too well what would get a fellow soldier killed, her father liked to remind her that during her weeks leading up to her enlistment. The countless horror stories that had her waking up in a cold sweat had instilled a deep fear of failure within the cadet, but she had not let that show throughout her training, least of all her father hear off it through the chain of command. 

Flustered, Greyson replied with a quick, “I’m sorry Sir, I really am”, only to be laughed at by the Colonel.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it when someone dies Cadet, I’m sure you know that all too well with what your father has done, don't let his mistakes become your own!” The final part was growled out with an anger that permeated the air. 

Greyson swallowed down her rising anger and levelled the officer in front of her with a glare. It was a well known fact amongst the instructors that mentioning her father struck a nerve within her and set her off, many a time she had been reprimanded for near miss fights from her fellow cadets pulling the dad card around her. The cadet figured that either the Colonel knew this and was trying to get a rise out of her, or just knew of her father's past indiscretions and was trying to use it to discredit her. It didn’t matter which thought she pondered more, both made her blood boil just as much. 

Trying to keep a cool demeanor around the officer in front of her was a struggle. He was smirking at her like he just had just won the lottery, all tight lipped and cocky. He had got her hook, line and sinker, she had fallen for his trap. Giving a frustrated huff the cadet looked away from the smug officer in front of her, hoping for something to grab her attention so she could dispel her anger. It seemed however, the Colonel wasn’t done just yet. 

“Yes I know all about Daddy dearest and his mistakes, Greyson. It's a wonder you even bothered to enlist with all the hatred and dishonesty that follows your name around.”. 

He knew exactly what he was doing, if this was the cadet he was going to steal away from the signal corps then he needed her to rebut him, yell at him, something. Anything that would show some hard spirit that would be needed to complete the daily brutality and challenges that would likely come from being in his team. He had heard what she was capable of, now to just see it for himself. 

“Cat got your tongue Cadet? Or are you used to being fucked over in a different kind of way by your superiors. Must be nice to have the LT. Colonel at your beck and call doing your bidding for you and getting you the points to become top cadet. Isn't that right Greyson?” The teasing lilt to his tone was seemingly lost on the cadet in front of him. He watched as waves of varying emotions crossed her face. Something akin to shame crossed first, followed closely by what he assumed was embarrassment, only to be followed by, once more, anger. Which seemed to be this cadets’ default emotion. 

Greyson had never once felt this much anger in one go, yes she knew the Colonel was trying to get a rise out of her, and mentioning her father usually did the trick. The idea that he was discrediting her based on rumours and one small sighting of something that definitely wasn’t a professional interaction with the Lt. Colonel during the assessment day somehow struck a nerve so deep she was sure that this feeling was beyond anger, in fact, she was livid. He didn’t know anything about her and he was going to insinuate that! Oh he definitely had another thing coming.

“Respectfully. Sir.” Greyson quipped in a bratty tone, “You don’t know the first thing about me, so you have no right to insinuate that I am sleeping my way to the top!” her distaste for the Colonel before her was growing by the second, “I would have thought it well below your rank to believe the rumours of jealous school girls, but i guess I was wrong. Seems like you aren’t much of a fucking Colonel at all!”. The final words of the sentence were growled out in a tone so low it would have scared her fellow cadets half to death. Her eyes were alight with emotion, her eyes turning a deep green in colour, pupils constricted. The anger was rolling off her in waves. 

“There it is, that's the cadet I had heard all about. Daddy’s little mimic”. His grin was bordering maniac, he was pushing her buttons and striking the nerves he had hoped to, it was just a matter of seeing how much further she was willing to go to defend herself and her reputation. But he knew for sure now, this was his cadet. 

Those words and that stupidly attractive grin was the last straw for the cadet. Without really processing her next move she curled her right hand into a fist and aimed directly for the underside of that chiseled jaw of his, hoping for a knockout, even if she’d face a potential discharge because of it. This man had fucked her off one too many times for her to internalise these emotions. 

The punch thrown at him probably would have knocked him out too, if he hadn’t had the years of experience chasing down criminals in Colombia. He had seen the way her body had gone taught, fist curling, before she had wound her arm back and thrown it forward towards him with such conviction and determination that would have made him proud, if he hadn’t been trying to prove a point. Her plan failed though as he caught her wrist, her fist a mere inch from its intended target. He used her wrist as leverage, while taking a step forward, and slammed her, not all that gently, into the wall behind her.

The air was knocked out of Greyson in an instant, instead of hitting her target, she had ended up pressed between the Colonels’ hard body and the wall behind her. His mouth hovered over her ear, breath hot with each passing exhale, the shiver that wracked her body was not one of fear this time. It seemed as if minutes passed by, she could feel every hard ridge of his body pressed into hers. From his strong thighs right up to his too defined pecs that were pinning her against the wall. He was so close his belt buckle was digging into her stomach. 

She released a shaky breath at the thought. This bastard of a man had pushed her to her breaking point and now held her against the wall like it was nothing. She struggled against him for a short moment, feigning an escape, but he just pushed her wrist closer to the wall and his body impossibly closer to her own. Quiet the compromising situation. 

Carrillo huffed out a laugh at the way the cadet struggled beneath him before slumping in defeat. He had her exactly where he wanted her, she had shown her hand and was now at his mercy. 

“I definitely made the right choice” he murmured against the shell of her ear, delighting in the way she let out the smallest of gasps. “I’d say congratulations, but I guess that's not needed. You're on the team Cadet” and with those final words he released her from his hold and took a step back. Noting the way she slumped against the wall without his support. He had to smirk while taking in her disheveled appearance, she looked positively wrecked. With that final thought he adjusted his uniform and disappeared down the hallway in search of the LT. Colonel, leaving a very confused and very flustered cadet in his wake

[real-life-sucks-ass]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation

*All answers should be about works published in 2017.

I’ve been tagged by @inrainbowz! Thanks for giving me an occasion to blab about my writing to the world :D

1. List of works published this year:

So, according to AO3 I wrote 224132 words in 2017. But tbh I’ve not been very productive, I only wrote a few chapters for two WIP (still unfinished) and a single one-shot. The rest is the exact same stuff, but translated into english. Take a look:

One Video Man (One Vidéo Man in french): This is a Youtube!AU fic for the One Punch Man fandom. I had this stupid idea about a AU where everyone is human, in our world, and every character runs a Youtube channel. That’s all. I just describe videos so the reader feels like they’re watching this on Youtube. I have no plan, no scenario, no nothing. But the thing is, I encourage my readers to post fake Youtube comments for the characters to answer, and to give me some ideas about what should happen next and what kind of video I should write. So yeah, it’s kind of a fun experience, and I like trying new stuff and interact with my readers (I did something a bit like this for a spn fic a few years ago). But I’m so slow at updating, my readers are dying with frustration lol.

Albion’s last bulwark (Le dernier rempart d’Albion in french): This is a BBC Merlin fic, and actually it is a sequel for my fic Le dernier souffle de Kilgharrah I have yet to translate into english. It can be read separately, though. It is a resurrection fic in Arthur’s point of view. He comes back to life in our world today and realize he’s lost his kingdom, his wife, everything, and Merlin looks like an old man and is obviously not so happy about his return. I wanted them to struggle to get their relation back. I wanted Arthur to feel lost and alone. This fic is filled with angst and is merthur. I still have about 5 chapters to write & translate to complete it.

A cheap spell (Un sort au rabais in french): I wrote this short Merthur OS just for funsies and I also made a drawing here. Basically Arthur went missing and everyone is worried sick (especially Merlin) and looking for him everywhere... but Arthur is right there under their noses, only turned into a toad and frustrated because no one recognizes him. Well it’s not much, but it was fun to write.

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

Definitely Albion’s last bulwark (Le dernier rempart d’Albion in french). You have no idea. This fic is my precious, my everything. I’m pouring my whole soul in it. I could talk about it all day. This is the fic that made me want to get better in english just so I could translate it at some point.

Why? Because CloudFactory and I have been thinking about it for years before I even started writing it. I do all the writing, but we made out the story together, we thought every little detail through, and she’s my betareader both in french and in english. Because we worked hard to get the characterization right. Because I had been dying to read a resurrection fic in which Merlin has been deeply changed by centuries of living in a changing world, so I decided to write it myself. I wanted a Merlin who went through some rough stuff that had nothing to do with Arthur at all. I wanted a Merlin living like an hermit, but not because he’s waiting for Arthur to return, but for a totally different reason. Because I wanted Arthur to grieve for Camelot, for Gwen, for his past life. Because I wanted Arthur to return for a very serious reason, because Albion truly is in danger. Also, because dragons. In this fic, Merlin has a bunch of dragons, including a baby one, I love writing them.

So yeah, I’m so fucking proud of this fic and I will cry tears of pure joy once I complete it.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

Well I’m kinda proud of everything I wrote in 2017, but if I really have to pick one, I’d say A cheap spell (Un sort au rabais in french) because, well, I wrote it quickly and I felt the merthur was bit rushed and OOC. But that’s because I’m the kind of author who usually needs at least 10 chapters to bring some romance, so... Also, writing crack is fun, but I’m way better at writing angst.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing: Okay so I’ll follow @inrainbowz‘s example and show one in french first, then one in english. But only for my fic Albion’s last bulwark (Le dernier rempart d’Albion in french), because yup, I’m really really proud of it.

Voilà un petit extrait en français, du dernier chapitre en date pour Le dernier rempart d’Albion :

- Et nous nous sommes rencontrés ?

Freya esquissa un pâle sourire qu’Arthur n’aurait su qualifier d’amusé ou triste.

 - Oui. Tu es celui qui m’as tuée.

Arthur eut une inspiration de surprise et ses yeux s’écarquillèrent.

- Quoi ?

 - Laisse-moi te rafraîchir la mémoire…

Lorsqu’une main creva la surface du lac, suivie d’un poignet gracile et d’un bras nu, Arthur se recula vivement et tomba assis, le souffle coupé. Le reflet de Freya soulevait la nappe d’eau et sa tête émergea à son tour, ses cheveux ruisselant sur son visage, ses épaules et sa poitrine à peine couvertes d’une robe en lambeaux. Le cœur battant à tout rompre, Arthur déglutit et s’efforça de rester calme et de ne pas dégainer Excalibur face à ce spectacle aussi terrifiant qu’époustouflant. Car ce corps qui avait surgi jusqu’à la taille et se penchait à présent sur lui la main tendue, il était translucide, uniquement composé d’eau.

And now another one, in english this time:

Merlin steadied his stance and turned a dark and hateful glare at Arthur. His cheeks seemed hollower and his cheekbones sharper now that he had turned back to his young self. The look on his face was frightening, full of rage.

"Merlin, pull yourself back together!" Arthur ordered, striding right to him. "Don't make me knock you out!"

There was a heavy aura surrounding Merlin when he raised an open hand toward Arthur.

Everything happened very fast. The shock wave that hit him threw him back with a staggering blow, tearing his feet away from the ground. He crashed into the glass doors, smashing them to pieces, and pain flared in his back. He might have lost consciousness for a few seconds. When he opened his eyes again, he was lying on the concrete strewn with sharp glass fragments and the wounds on his back had reopened, soaking his t-shirt with blood.

He cut his palms on the shards trying to get up, but he clenched his teeth and ignored the pain. There would be plenty of time to worry later about how dizzy he felt and his vision starting to blur. For now, the urgency was Merlin.

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

Okay so I had never once received a comment on AO3 for my fic Le dernier rempart d’Albion because well, french readers are pretty rare on this website and most of them prefer to read in english anyway. And when I started translating it into english, I got a very enthusiastic comment of someone who loved it. And she wanted to know what happened next so bad, she couldn’t wait for me to translate, so she went and read the next chapters in french, even though her french was rusty and she couldn’t understand everything. I had never been so happy reading a comment. That someone enjoyed the story so much they made the effort to read it in french... Yeah, this made my whole year :D And she still reads both the french version and english translation, waiting for each new chapter. Best reader ever. I love her. <3

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

From august to december, biggest writing block ever. I had no motivation, no inspiration, no energy and I think it had to do with work and real life being crazy, but also because CloudFactory was very busy, so I had no cheerleader to force me to write lol.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Probably ever character in One Video Man? I control nothing in this fic, I just get carried away by my readers’ ideas and the inspiration of the moment.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I think I started to understand that I should not be so hard on myself. I’m a perfectionist, so sometimes it blocks my writing when I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself to get it perfect on the first draft. I think I made a lot of progress in descriptions too.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I hope I’ll be able to write faster and to stop procrastinating. I need to use less adjectives too.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

CloudFactory ( @less-life-and-more-dream ) and Jackallh ( @geek-trough-time-and-space ) are the best. I just have to chat with them about my fics, and yay! Ideas! Inspiration! Motivation! Also tumblr and the Merlin fandom inspire me every day new ideas :p

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

When Merlin brings Arthur in London, I used some real life experience, since I’ve been in London for my 30 years birthday with @less-life-and-more-dream, @geek-trough-time-and-space and @dupond-and-dupont. The fish n’ chips I described in the fic, also Hyde’s park and its geese, all came from my happy memories :D

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Don’t thrive for perfection. Just do your best, and even if you hate it, you can still edit later. You WILL get better by writing, it’s a slow process, but for this to happen you have to write.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

First, I have to complete Albion’s last bulwark and One Video Man, both in french and english. Also in a few months I’ll post my translation in english for Albion’s last bulwark’s prequel: Le dernier souffle de Kilgharrah. Then, I plan to write a prequel to Le dernier souffle de Kilgharrah, about the days, months and years just after Arthur died. The whole story will be a trilogy in the end! :D

I consider taking back one of my old abandoned WIP too (I have a Supernatural fic and a Whitechapel ITV fic uncompleted), but I’m not sure I’ll have the time for it. I have AT LEAST three other Merlin fanfics I really reaaaaaally want to write.

14. Tag five writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read.

@creepywonderland-pony @dupond-and-dupont @andersandrew @istadris @always-keep-writing and whoever wants to do this!