#oooooh this hit me like BUS

[mad4turtles]

A possible ROTTMNT prompt. Something something, mystic or magic shenanigans, something something, whoops, the turtle squad is unable to lie until the effects wear off. Surely no problems will arise from this.

Oh come ON you know I can't resist this! And you know what's even worse? Part two is on the way XD There was too much I wanted to add for it to fit in a one-shot, so keep an eye out for that TT_TT

Here we go!

---

She can tell something is off the second she steps into the living room.

The boys are squished on the couch, Splinter's chair and the beanbag, arms folded and glaring eyes staring straight ahead. That's nothing new. She's walked in on brotherly spats worse than this, where they'll sit and watch a movie in silence until they eventually sort themselves out.

But nothing is playing, not even music. The Lair is hauntingly quiet. And the boys—

“What's with the duct tape?”

Four heads whirl to face her, their muffled answers intelligible through the silver tape slapped over their mouths.

She stares. God help her.

It's an exhausted but smiling Casey who comes to her rescue with a tray of drinks because he's an actual angel. “The guys got hit by a powerful truth spell while they were shopping in the Hidden City,” he explains, offering her a cup of herbal tea that smells amazing. “They accidentally pissed off a witch, so she cursed them. It'll wear off after seventy-two hours.”

April nearly spits her drink up. “Seventy-two—three days?!” She whirls on the boys. “What the hell did you guys do to get cursed that bad?!”

Leo, Raph and Mikey all glare at Donnie. Said turtle rolls his eyes and painstakingly peels off the tape, leaving a pale mark around his beak. He makes eye contact with April and says in one dead-toned breath: 

“It was a witch from Witch Town who recognized me from the incident two years ago, and we got into a debate about magic to which I, reasonably and correctly, told her that I have finally embraced my mystic heritage and abilities and found a way to seamlessly blend technology and magic despite my earlier hang-ups, to which she, closed-minded bint that she was, told me that I was in gross violation of the 'Old Ways' and a walking, talking sin against everything they believed in over generations of Witch kind, to which I countered—!”

Leo tears off his gag. “He told her to shove her 'Old Ways' up her old ass and stick her old face in an old toilet full of old shit.”

April gapes at Donnie. Casey snorts in surprise and muffles his giggles in the crook of his elbow. Mikey's shoulders shake with repressed laughter, loud even through the tape. Raph looks tired.

“My god,” April groans. “Didn't y'all just get back from being turned into toddlers three weeks ago?”

Mikey abruptly stops laughing and rips off his tape with a yelp. “Yeah, literally in the last one-shot, which turned into a two-shot because y'all couldn't get your crap together fast enough, and I swear to god I love you guys a whole lot, but the author was out for blood, and I was at my limit—!” 

Raph gives in and tears his tape off without wincing. “Michel, what did we say about breaking the fourth wall?”

“He wouldn't have to if it weren't for this stupid freaking spell,” Leo snaps, glaring at Donnie. “And he has every right to be pissed off, given this whole thing is your fault, Donnie!”

Donnie rears back, slapping Leo's pointing finger away. “How, pray tell, is it my fault that witch couldn't handle being wrong?”

“Donnie!”

“What? I finally give in to the mystic powers thing, and I still get put on blast? How is that fair?!” Donnie cries, arms flailing. “Also shouldn't I reserve the right to stand up against bullies or abusive speech because that bitch was out of line, and I am tired, tired I tell you, of being the butt of every joke and having to take it in because people get all uncomfortable and—!”

He slaps the tape back over his beak and sinks into the couch, arms folded tight across his chest. His brothers look at him with wide eyes. Casey shuffles in place and bites his lip, looking at April as if asking for help.

Unlucky for him, April has no answers. Except for maybe one.

“Look, guys,” she says, setting her lukewarm tea on the floor and taking a seat in front of the couch, facing the turtles. Casey joins her and sits cross-legged. “There's no point in muting yourselves because clearly, it ain't workin'. From what it looks like, the spell compels you to talk no matter what you do, so you might as well ride it out and try—emphasis on try—to be civil about it. Who's right and wrong doesn't matter. It's done, so let's deal with it like we always do and push through, okay?”

The boys share a look followed by a chorus of half-hearted agreement. April nods. “Good. Thank you.”

“And hey,” Mikey says, perking up, “maybe this won't be so bad after all! We can all finally have an open, honest and unfiltered conversation about our feelings!”

A cricket chirps in the silence until Leo flicks it off his shoulder.

Mikey sighs and flops back into the beanbag. “Yeah, figured. It kinda sucks being the youngest and the family therapist all time, like I don't got my own hang-ups that nobody listens to 'cause my family is full of emotionally constipated oh frick!”

He shoots to his feet and sprints out of the room. His brothers stare after him with looks that wage war between shock and actual heartbreak.

April drops her face into her free hand and groans. This is gonna be a long three days.

~0o0~

Day One goes about as smoothly as April expects.

Against her better judgment, April decides to stay over until the spell wears off, ready to help Casey and Splinter play referee and peacekeeper for whatever crap storm rolls in on the horizon. With four freshly traumatized teenagers stuck under the same roof (or abandoned subway tunnel) for three days, April wagers it'll be rough.

Still, April has hope. Her boys, at their core, are the kindest and most loving people she's ever had the pleasure to know and have the honour of calling her little brothers. Their love for each other is the stuff of legend; their powers are fuelled by it, and they'd defeated Gods and alien monsters with it. A simple spell should be a cakewalk.

But she forgets that while her boys love each other, they're still boys. Of course they'd abuse the spell for their own gain.

It starts out innocently enough:

---

“Hey, Donnie, any idea why the pop-tarts are always kinda soggy and never have any icing?”

“I like the icing off and put them back in the box—son of a—”

“I KNEW IT!”

---

“Raphael, how is your eye today?”

“Really freaking itchy since I ran outta those drops you gave me, but I haven't said anything 'cause I thought I'd be totally okay without-- Donnie—!”

“You heathen.”

---

“Ayo, who ate the last slice of cake I was saving?!”

“It was Leo! He threatened me with an emotionally heartfelt truth to not tell you despite knowing the terms of the spell would render that promise ineffectual!”

“Donald, you absolute rat bastard—”

---

“How are your hands today, Miguel?”

“Mmmph—“

“Take off the duct tape you fatherless waste of flesh and face your demise like a man.”

“OW! That freakin' hurt, man! And for one, we have two fathers, and for two, I said they're fine! I've been doin' the exercises like you said and checked in with Draxum last weekend to take notes on my mystic energy output, which is stable, thanking you very much.”

“... oh. That's—good. Thank you for actually listening to me, Mikey. Your health and overall well-being mean a lot to me, and I appreciate—”

“And I spilt orange juice on your bazooka blueprints on purpose, but I hoped to tell you later that it was an accident because I hate it when you make crazy dangerous weapons we will never use or let you use—Donnie, where did you get that bat--?”

“Batter up bitch it's time to die!”

---

“Leo, I swear to Pizza Supreme in the sky if you poke me one more time—”

“What? Whatcha gonna do? Can't do jack, 'cause you can't threaten me, all your threats are lies, Dontron, you ain't got nothin—criss on a cross did you stab me with a knife?!”

“I did not stab you, I poked you in the arm with minimal pressure with the wrong side of my craft knife. And I said it, so it is definitely the truth.”

“Dude, what the hell? I can't believe you actually did that!”

“I can't believe your tits are one polygon.”

“We're turtles! We have no tits!”

(Granted, hearing Leo scream that from across the Lair was hilarious. Donnie probably has it recorded, too.)

Aside from that, the newly dubbed Peace Squad only had to break up one major fight over Raph confessing to Mikey that he did lie about the trash monster that would eat him in his sleep. Dr Delicate Touch is a force to be reconned with.

Thus, Day One ends with only a few bruises and half-glares as the boys turn in early. Raph abuses the spell one last time to muscle Donnie into bed when the soft shell is forced to tell Raph outright that he had no plans to sleep, spending the night in the lab until he can't see straight.

Leo laughs so hard he cries when Raph slam-dunks his twin into bed, killing him instantly.

Splinter collapses into his chair, snoring immediately, and April and Casey retire to the guest room they share on the opposite side of the lair. The pair share a fist bump on a job well done and fall asleep in minutes.

Then Day Two happens.

And really, April should have seen this coming.

~0o0~

You can only take something so far until somebody calls you out for it. And Leo, being Leo, milks the spell for all he can.

It's mostly over silly things, like where Donnie had hidden the videos and photos Mikey took during their week as tots or where Raph keeps his stash of strawberry mochi. Or why Mikey keeps stealing his axe body spray.

In hindsight, April should have nipped it in the bud as soon as she noticed. It really was just fun and games, because that's how Leo copes with stress: make a game out of it, and hopefully, someone laughs. Even if they don't, their focus is on him acting a fool and not their stressful predicament. A spark of genuis April hadn't appreciated until it was nearly too late. 

But still, Leo doesn't know when to stop, and it's Donnie who finally snaps.

And lord, does he snap.

“Dear god, Leon, shut the HELL UP!”

Leo's grin slips right off his face. The room falls into a startled hush, all eyes on the twins as one glares daggers of frustration into the other. Even Splinter looks troubled, golden eyes darting between his middle children from his comfy chair.

The slider raises his hands in mock surrender, trying for a smile. “Hey, take it easy, Dee, I'm just playing around—”

“No, you're being an insufferable prick, and I have had enough!” Donnie stamps his foot, and oh, dammit. The bottle has been shaken hard enough, and the cap's blown off. “It's bad enough that we're stuck under this stupid spell, and sure, I'll take responsibility for that, whatever, but you—Leo, god, you just cannot help yourself, can you? You just have to take advantage of a compelling spell that we cannot break or force down—do you realize how invasive that is?! We're brothers, but sometimes I like keeping my private thoughts private, and not sharing passwords for my super-secret-locked-for-a-reason digital vaults! This isn't funny, Leo, it's a goddamn nightmare, and you're making it worse for the rest of us with your bouts of incorrigible stupidity! Tee-ell-dee-arr: stop being a selfish asshole, and for once, in your goddamn life, just. Be. QUIET!”

Silence. Leo's eyes are wide. Mikey huddles behind Raph, hands over his mouth. Raph's beak twists with pain. Casey shuffles next to Splinter, unsure. April's heart thunders in her ears.

Then Leo scowls.

“Okay,” he says in that tone, and April hisses a curse. “Okay. Y'know what, that's cool, Dee. I get it. I can be an asshole, I'll take that. I've been abusing the spell a bit, I can take that, too. But, and I'm just putting this out there, you may recall how you've been doing the exact same thing to us. Badgering Mikey and Raph about their injuries, forcing me to own up about my nightmares last night—you don't think that maybe, just maybe, there's a reason I don't like talking about that shit? Maybe I wanna keep that information to myself until I'm ready to talk about it with you on my own terms? Don't put me on blast for being a dick if you're pulling the same moves!”

“Correction one,” Donnie holds up a finger and steps forward, eyes blazing. “I ask Mikey and Raph because I worry about them, and I know they'll keep it from me until it becomes too much to handle, and it goes from a mild annoyance that's treatable to a medical emergency that puts them in the medbay! Correction two,” He holds up another finger, “I asked you about your nightmares because they're hurting you now in more ways than just mentally or emotionally and I'm trying to help you, you selfish, prideful—!”

“Selfish?!” Leo stomps the last few inches and butts his forehead against Donnie's, ignoring Raph and Mikey's pleas to stop. “Did you—did you seriously just call me selfish?! Sure I was an asshole at first, but everything I did that day and every day since is for you guys! Everything I've ever done has been for this family! How freaking dare you—!”

“You are selfish! Throwing yourself into danger, risking your life without thinking of the consequences or the people you're hurting when you leave them behind—!”

“Guys, please stop!” Mikey cries, eyes shining, hands trembling. “Just—it's been a long two days, I get it, but yelling at each other in this state is only gonna—”

“Butt out, Mikey,” Leo bites without looking away from Donnie. “No one asked you to play family therapist. Give it a freaking rest.”

Mikey flinches. The tears spill over.

“Leo!” April gasps several beats too late. Splinter's fur bristles as he hops out of his chair and approaches Mikey just as Casey puts his arms around his shaking shoulders.

“Leonardo,” Raph hisses, stomping over to the twins and breaking them apart. “Knock it off. Both of you. You're mad, everybody's mad and tired, I get it. But don't you dare take it out on Mikey. He's just trying to help—”

“Well, no one asked him to!” Leo throws his hands up. “Just like no one asked you to jump in and try to parent us like we're still little kids! We get it, you have Older Sister Syndrome and our Dad was barely around, which sprouted a whole can of worms called 'issues' that we pretend don't exist. Pick a different character trait and move on!”

Raph rears back as if Leo had hit him. Splinter freezes, guilt and heartbreak flashing in his eyes for a moment before he shuts them and squeezes Mikey's hand instead.

“What the actual shit, Nardo?!” Donnie cries, shoving Leo in the chest hard enough that the slider staggers back several feet. “What, now that someone's finally calling you out, you retaliate like a sore loser with verbal attacks?! Are we witnessing Leo's Lowest right now? Freaking wow, bravo, peak leadership right here, folks—”

“Shut up with the leader thing!” Leo hisses back, hands fluttering by his sides, claws peeking. “I never wanted to be the leader, I never asked for that responsibility the same way Raph didn't ask to be our second parent for the first few years of our lives! And, I'm sorry, 'verbal attacks?' Like your screw-up with the Witch isn't the whole reason we're even in this mess?! If you're supposed to be the 'smartest' I'd hate to see what dumb looks like you narcissistic, eggheaded weirdo!”

Donnie nearly knocks April over when he lunges at Leo with a scream, taking them both to the ground. It's a mess of brutal punches, kicks, bites, hissing, Raph shouting, Mikey crying and Splinter trying to pry the turtles off each other. April can't get close enough to help, and turtle bites are lethal enough on their own.

“At least I'm not tearing my brothers down or acting like a baby,” Donnie spits, grappling with Leo pinned underneath him. “Or hiding things from my family after I threw myself into a prison dimension with a monster and didn't think about how everyone might feel about that—!”

Leo knees Donnie in the gut, yanking on his mask tails as he rolls them over, pinning Donnie to the floor with his forearm across his chest, eyes wild, livid and bright with hurt. “At least I'm man enough to admit my faults, unlike my beloved twin who has to turn everything into a drama to prove he's the smartest—!”

“—and for the last freaking time, you are NOT MY TWIN! We cannot be twins, it is biologically impossible, we are different species, GET THAT THROUGH YOUR DUM-DUM HEAD—!”

“FINE! If you hate being my brother so bad, maybe you really would be better off if I'd died in the—!”

April doesn't think. Her mind goes white, and she leaps forward and slaps Leo across the face.

Leo careens off Donnie, who has gone stiff, eyes blown wide. The Lair goes deathly quiet for the third time, and April, chest heaving and eyes stinging, can't tell if because of what she did—why did I do that, god, I hit him, I hit my little brother—or what Leo dared to say.

April looks at her hand, sore and red from the blow. She looks up at Raph, Mikey and Casey, staring between her and the twins in raw shock and, in Mikey's case, horror. She looks at Splinter, carefully helping Donnie to sit up with clawed hands that shake. She looks at Leo, slumped on the floor, cupping his swelling cheek, staring at her with wet eyes. His nose is bleeding.

Oh god.

“Leo,” April breaks the silence, her words choked, a hand reaching out for the slider. He flinches, and she yanks her hand back to her chest. Her eyes sting, lips trembling. “I'm—I'm so sorry, I didn't mean—I'm, I'm so sorry—”

April sees the moment Leo shuts down. He sniffs, wiping the blood off his nose with his arm, and stumbles to his feet. He shrugs off Raph and Casey's supporting hands and doesn't look at any of them as he stalks away.

“Leonardo, where are you going?” Splinter calls. April's already broken heart lurches when, in a flash of blue, Leo summons his swords.

“Away,” Leo bites out. His shell is facing them, but April can hear the tears in his voice. “Best of luck with being the only middle kid, Donatello. I'm outta here.”

“No, no wait—!”

“Leo, please stop—!”

“My son, don't—!”

“Sensei, no—!”

Another flash of brilliant blue and Leo is gone.

---

Part 2 Coming Soon...

(Feel free to send more requests.

Reblogs are very appreciated <3)

[anaalnathrakhs]

i WILL show up to the trial day for the preparatory class tomorrow no matter how much i dont want to and after that i guarantee NOTHING

[spectralsleuth]

>:0000 commentaries!!!

from 'a short season':

“I tell you what; if they cry hard enough to throw up, I’ll call you. But, if you’ll um. Allow me to voice my… Experience? With the situation? They need to know that sometimes you leave and come back, and everything will be okay. A little crying is fine,” Because Mr. Hamato looked like he was listening, and also Xander felt like he was watching someone grab on to a life preserver with the desperation in the man's eyes, he continued. “They need to work through their emotions, and little kids only really have like... Three? Ways to do that. Cry, scream, or break things. I’ll make sure they’re okay, okay?”

Mr. Hamato nodded, drawing in a deep breath, and letting it out in a very careful, even motion. “Yes. yes, you are right- this is what Sal was telling me as well. And since his daughter is both alive, and not a delinquent, I am inclined to believe both of your advice. Just- make sure I’m on speed dial?” Mr. Hamato sounded a little desperate, his hands shaking uncertainly as they fluttered form the pocket of his suit, to his hair, and back, all without interrupting his outfit.

“Of course.” Xander reassured, now in the familiar territory of soothing a first time parent as he finished washing up the few dishes in the sink for lack of anything better to do. “It will be fine. And even if it isn’t, I promise you- I can handle it.” He decided not to mention Donnie had an evil look in his eye yesterday that Xander was scared to explore. He could probably handle it.

...90% sure he could handle it.

“Alright… Alright." A heavy, shaky sigh. "Yes, you are right.” Mr. Hamato nodded in a determined fashion, and moved to the living room, leaving Xander to pull the plug on the sink and wipe the counter down. His voice rose dramatically, now speaking for the entirety of the household and not just Xander, arms spread so Xander could note and be appalled by the fringe dangling down along the chest and sleeves of the turquoise blue suit. “My little baby Orange! You ate all your breakfast, Daddy is so proud of yooooou- Mwah. And Red, oooooh  I will miss you most while I am out in the cold city streets, providing food for our family! I know you will be a big help to Xander; my beautiful eldest son, heir to my empire, big beautiful boy, mwah. Mwah, mwah, mwah- ” Mr. Hamato crouched to smooch Mikey and Raph’s heads respectively, with big exaggerated kissy noises that caused a ripple of chirping giggles and kicking feet, Raph mostly fighting his father off so he could only glance a couple of smacking kisses across the dome of his helmet, and then a little spiked fist when Mr. Hamato grabbed it and held it still long enough.

“Blue! Purple! Daddy is leaving! The faster you say goodbye, the faster I can leave and come baaaack -” He sang out, and there was a skitter of feet as Leo and Donnie came out from the back room, both looking terribly excited.

“Daddy! I love you! Goodbye, I hope you don’t get hit by a bus!” Leo yelled sweetly, slamming into Mr. Hamato’s legs with enough three year old force to stagger the man slightly. Donnie simply moved more sedately to the side, and latched with careful determined consideration onto the crisp ironed lines of Mr. Hamato’s trouser legs. He looked like a little purple koala, burying his face into his dads knee.

Jeez, is started posting this in JANUARY. (ME: asks for authors notes asks. Also me: gets inexplicably shy.)

COMMENTS I HAVE:

“I tell you what; if they cry hard enough to throw up, I’ll call you. But, if you’ll um. Allow me to voice my… Experience? With the situation? They need to know that sometimes you leave and come back, and everything will be okay. A little crying is fine,” Because Mr. Hamato looked like he was listening, and also Xander felt like he was watching someone grab on to a life preserver with the desperation in the man's eyes, he continued.

(Xander has never had anyone listen to his advice in his life, mainly because the rest of his clients are very rich people who don't think he has anything to offer. He is bewildered by Lou Jitsu's earnest stare and also his slipping robe.

Also, it's true! Kids don't have very good ways to express themselves, and a lot of the things people DON'T like about young children, is often them just being young people in progress who don't know how to express themselves. Imagine having NO emotional intelligence at all, and also ALL of the feelings you will ever have all at once.

Yoshi hasn't left the kids by themselves for 3-4 years, outside of very rare instances where Sal will watch them. He went from fighting in the Battle Nexus, to being actively suicidal, to having FOUR CHILDREN. I really can't convey that enough, four kids is a LOT.)

His voice rose dramatically, now speaking for the entirety of the household and not just Xander, arms spread so Xander could note and be appalled by the fringe dangling down along the chest and sleeves of the turquoise blue suit.

(I didn't realize so many people enjoyed me making up outfits for an old still sexy Lou Jitsu but apparently they do so. I love you all... so much.)

I know you will be a big help to Xander; my beautiful eldest son, heir to my empire, big beautiful boy, mwah. Mwah, mwah, mwah- ”

(Maybe off subject- but Yoshi ABSOLUTELY has a will in place, and guess what? Raph is a prominent feature in a lot of those sections. He's the oldest, and if Lou happened to pass away due to circumstance, there's certain things an oldest Hamato has to know, regardless of Yoshi's feelings about it.

I am very VERY invested in Raph's role as the oldest Hamato of the generation.)

“Blue! Purple! Daddy is leaving! The faster you say goodbye, the faster I can leave and come baaaack -” He sang out, and there was a skitter of feet as Leo and Donnie came out from the back room, both looking terribly excited.

(I based Leo and Donnie here off of me and my twin sister- we would just be off doing our own things at all times until someone wanted to find us, and then we'd be like okay?? And??)

(I also based Leo's morbid curiosity off of- well. Every single child I've ever interacted with, who thinks getting hit by a bus or swallowed by quicksand or melted by lava is a real danger. Kids are so funny honest to god.)

[hils79]

Hils Watches Oh No! Here Comes Trouble - Ep 2

A few people have told me how excited they are that I'm watching it and telling me how good it is. I remain a little confused about what's going on but maybe things will become clearer in this episode.

I love that they keep making it look like something spooky is happening only for it to be a fake out. Except there also is something spooky happening because the last episode ended with what looked like a zombie

The most zoomer thing. Dude bumps into her and gets blood on her shirt. Gotta take a selfie and upload it with some nihilistic poetry

This is so fascinating. Everyone using social media to track the dude.

Okay obviously I have no idea but I am going to hazard a guess that this sole fan of Pu Yiyong's comic is the kid he bullied in school. They have to be connected somehow, right?

Of course he's going to get a job writing passages for the family of a loved one who passed away. And that will help him deal with his own grief over losing his dad. I don't know what I was expecting from this drama but it definitely wasn't this.

Poingnant scene about processing grief immediately followed by Pu Yiyong fainting as soon as he sees a zombie. Which is understandable I suppose but they are definitely playing it as comedy.

Wait is this going to be a buddy zombie drama?

Apparently zombies have no concept of personal space

This has nothing to do with the drama but I just hit pause to take a bite of my sandwich and 😂

Now they're going to solve his death together. Okay this is fun.

Uh....I kind of ship them?

You can't leave him at the spot where he died like a sad abandoned puppy

Look he's even doing the sad puppy head tilt

Oooooh! Interesting! I was wondering how the cop was going to fit into it. She saved Pu Yiyong's life by giving him CPR at the bus acceident site. But also I think she thinks he killed the zombie dude.

Can you imagine? Hi, yes, I woke up to find this zombie dude in my bedroom

Her: Shit if there's no body we can't prove that he killed this guy Him: Shit if there's no body that just makes me look even more sus

This is so fun

I'm not sure going straight back to the scene after you got released is the best idea

I thought for a second she wasn't going to be able to see zombie dude and just assume Pu Yiyong was lying. I forgot that zombie dude was on all those cameras and bumped into people.

I kind of want to hug him

I love everyone fainting when they see him for the first time. I feel like that's a normal reaction.

Pu Yiyong: Here is a cop, here is the victim who just happens to be the walking dead. No need for me to be involved anymore. Okay, bye.

Ah hah! So he's not a zombie he just possessed the body.

I regret looking that up

Look at them working together to solve crime. I mean his mum did say she didn't mind what he did with his life so long as it wasn't illegal and this is basically the opposite of illegal

Yeah, I am 100% on board with this now that we've got beyond all the setup. This was such a fun episode.

[askmissthunder]

Hello Miss Thunder and friends! Has anything interesting happened to any of you lately?

Miss Thunder: Hello, hello, everybody!

Red Rabbit: Hey, y'all! Long time no see!

Talon: 'Sup.

Eli: AWWWOOO! Black Dog is back and running wild!

MT: Sorry if we've been gone a while. I think all of us were busy with different things this summer.

RR: I went with my family on a sea cruise!

E: Ooooh! Where to?

RR: To the Caribbean! Didn't you get the postcards I sent?

MT: I did! It looked really nice from what I saw.

RR: Oh, girl! Ocean City has a nice beach but the Bahamas has REAL beaches. The water was so clear and warm, we went snorkeling and rode on jet skis! They were literally the perfect beaches you'd imagine in your dreams!

MT: Blimey!

RR: *Sighs* And all the fine men and ladies there!

T: Aw, geez, here we go...

RR: Oh my God, both on the ship and on the islands! If you threw a rock in any direction, you'd hit either a guy with the most chiseled abs or a gal with the curviest body. Ohhhh...it was like Heaven...

MT: Hee hee! Sounds like you had fun getting to know the locals!

RR: Oh, just a few summer flings here and there. *Sighs* Oh, Jacqueline...She was a lot of fun. She and her boyfriend, George.

E: Whoa ho ho ho!

MT: Oooooooooooh! Spicy!

RR: Heh heh heh! I'll have to tell you about that away from the computer. That story's pretty...steamy.

T: And your parents were just fine with you fucking around on your vacation?

RR: Hold up now! I didn't screw everybody I met! Most didn't even get past second base. Besides...what Mama and Daddy don't know, won't hurt them!

T: Hmm.

E: Well, me and the Ocean City Wrestling stable went on tour up and down the East Coast!

RR: Wow! How'd that go?

E: It was great! The bus rides were long but I got to see a buncha different cities like Atlanta, Charlotte, Jacksonville...

MT: How'd you do overall with your matches?

E: Not bad! I lost about four but I won seven!

RR: Woooooo! Way to go, Black Dog!

E: And I'm happy because I finally, finally got to do a match I always wanted to do: a cage match!

MT: I remember! You called me right after!

E: It was in Charleston and it was me against The Mantis! His holds and submissions might be deadly but he didn't think I was gonna climb the cage upside down and do a body slam on him, ha ha!

MT: Wha...Eli! Aren't those cages like 20 feet tall?!

E: Yeah, but that makes it look cooler when I climb up the sides and do my patented Flying Dog Punch!

T: Oh, stop being such a wet blanket, Penny. He's fine and in one piece.

MT: *Picks Eli off the ground and hugs him* Hmph! I'm his girlfriend! It's my job to worry about him.

E: *Nuzzles against Penny's big cheek* Heh heh! I don't mind.

MT: As for me, I attended a summer music program at my school!

E: So...what? Isn't that just more classes for you to do?

MT: Yes, but it looks good on my student record and it helps my GPA! Plus, we got to do more live performances like the works of Franz Liszt and Gioachino Rossini!

MT: *Claps hands Excitedly* Eeeeee! It was so much fun!

T: Heh. Only you would find having school in summer fun.

MT: And guess who got to be First Chair Flute during the entire program?

RR: Oooooh, I bet a certain bunch of bullies weren't too happy about that!

MT: No, they were not, but getting to play all those solos made all those ugly looks and remarks worth it!

RR: Good for you, Penny! You know what they say: "Success is the Best Revenge!"

E: What about you, Talon? What'd you do while we were all busy?

T: *Shugs* Same ol', same ol'. Work at the deli by day, go on patrol at night. Somebody has to keep watch on the city while you're all lollygagging around.

MT: Oi! It's not like I went on vacation! I went on patrol with you a few times!

T: The keyword being "a few".

RR: Tsk tsk! Sounds to me like you out of all of us needed a vacation!

T: Hmm...I wouldn't mind going back to your beach house.

RR: That'd be fun! I know classes have started already but maybe we can go for a weekend before it starts getting cold.

MT: Ohhhh! Speaking of the beach house! Eli, did you enjoy that photo I gave you?

E: Yup! Thank you, Penny! Heh heh heh!

RR: Whoa whoa whoa whoa! What photo?!

MT: Well, before Eli left on his trip, he told me he was sad he wouldn't be able to see me for almost a month so I gave him a photo to cheer him up whenever he missed me.

RR: *Grinning cheekily* Penny! I thought you were a good Christian girl! Why are you sending Eli sexy photos of yourself?

MT: Hee hee hee! It was only the one photo! Besides, you're the one who took it!

RR: What?! When?!

MT: At your beach house last year. You had the Polaroid and you caught a photo of me...adjusting "The Girls"...

RR: Ohhhhhhh, that photo!

MT: I know it looks like I'm giving a "Come Hither" look but in reality, I was annoyed because of how much I was sweating and I think this was right before I said, "How can you Yanks stand this bloody heat?!"

E: I certainly didn't mind either way...

T: Pssh. Of course, you wouldn't.

(Artwork by @fileorwell on Twitter)

[linskywords]

Green-Eyed Epiphany and Pregnancy Fic for the Trope Mash-Up

Oooooh. Patrick comes back from the off-season acting all shifty. And Jonny overhears him talking on the phone to Sam Gagner, which, what? Gagner's his friend from Juniors; Pat isn't supposed to be talking to him now. Jonny's supposed to be his friend now. And then there's the thing where Pat is throwing up when Jonny comes over to his condo, but doesn't seem to be sick the rest of the time, and he has folic acid in his bathroom where he always laughed at Jonny's supplements before, and he's not drinking even a little and HOLY SHIT is Pat pregnant?? Jonny didn't even know he had the gene HOW DID HE NOT KNOW THAT.

Jonny obviously has to confront him with this right away; it's his duty as team captain. And he needs Pat to tell him who the father is. That is also extremely important Blackhawks business. Yes it is, Patrick. Well, if Patrick won't tell him, maybe one of Patrick's sisters will. Or maybe Jonny needs to listen in on Patrick's conversations to find out this crucial piece of information that Patrick is so unreasonably withholding from him. Except what he overhears is Patrick talking to Gagner on the phone again, and then Jonny spends a very sleepless night concocting a very vivid scenario in which someone accidentally hits Sam Gagner with a bus and Jonny has to sweep in and rescue Patrick and the baby and take them in as his own. And, like, he'll probably have to have sex with Patrick, it wouldn't be fair otherwise, Patrick has needs, it's Jonny's duty--

By the time morning rolls around, Jonny is fairly certain he has a problem.

(Gags is not the father. He just also has the gene, and accidentally got pregnant during their time on the Knights and decided not to keep it, so he's the only person Patrick felt comfortable talking to about it. The real father is a one-night stand Patrick doesn't care about and isn't even in touch with. Patrick, Jonny, and the baby live happily ever after.)

give me two tropes to mash up (and optionally a pairing)!

[jungshookz]

no but like what if one day ballet!yn was being teased by some of the girls in the class during their pre-class stretch about how she thinks balletteacher!jm is a SMOKE n shes like gUYS SHUT UP but jimin is like >:))) oh oKAY

➺ pairing; park jimin x reader

➺ genre; balletteacher!jiminiverse!!! mr. park is back n hotter than ever!!! everyone seemed to miss him so he’s bACK i’m going to be honest with u there is some sexual tension here but we all saw that coming 

➺ wordcount: 3k

➺ what to expect; “park jimin is a tall glass of water and we are all thirsty.” 

➺ optional reading: not necessary but you can read this drabble before getting started on this one! 

➺ note; this was sent in a whiLe ago!! better late than never >:-)i have no idea why i was suddenly inspired to write aLL of this tonight because i have to wake up at 8 and it is currently 2:15am and i haven’t showered yet but i had to do it for ballet teacher jimin because just like y/n i too am hot for teaCHER

                                  »»————-　♡　————-««

“surprise, surprise… look who’s late again!” seulgi smiles a little toO sweetly as you stumble into the classroom

“the bus was late, it’s not my fault-“ you grumble as you drop to the floor to join the other girls who are in the middle of warming up

“well, you should think about leaving campus a little earlier if it means coming here on time like the rest of us.” seulgi sighs as she turns side to side to check herself out in the mirror

“oh my god-“ you gasp in mock shock in the middle of pulling one of your leg warmers on

seulgi glances at you from the mirror “what?”

“…is that a pimple i spot?” you point up towards her forehead and her eyes widen in horror as she leans closer to the mirror

“what?!” she smooths her fingers over her forehead furiously and you can’t help but snort

that’ll keep her occupied for the next twenty minutes or so

you let out a grunt of relief as you focus on working the kinks out of your shoulders and your neck while rolling your ankles at the same time

pop crackle snAP

ever since the incident (aka you attempting a grand jeté and failing miserably leading to a very sprained ankle) you’ve been taking it easy buT you went to a check-up over the weekend and the doctor says your ankle seems to have healed veRy well and you can go back to doing what you were doing

as long as you knoW what it is you’re doing, of course

maybe stay away from the grand jetéing for now  

“so, y/n, when are you going to tell us what went down between you and mr. park?” ailee nudges your thigh with her foot and you let out a light laugh before raising a brow

“what are you talking about?” you arch your back and hiss quietly when you feel a particularly loud crAck

goD that’s good

“you know, when he basically kicked us all out of the room just to help you and your ankle.”

“you weren’t even there when we got kicked out, ailee.” wendy snorts and ailee rolls her eyes

“i know, but still!!”

“i don’t know what stories you guys have concocted but he basically just patched up my ankle for me and that was it.” you shrug while rolling out your pointe shoes

“don’t play dumb, y/n!” lisa calls out from across the room and you twist slightly to look at her “park jimin is a tall glass of water and we are all thirsty-“

“oh my god, you guys!” you interrupt her before she can finish and a couple of the girls burst into giggles “he’s our teacher!”

“i don’t know about you but i’m veRy hot for teacher-“

“it’s unprofessional because we’re his students and we shouldn’t even be talking about him like this-“

“but you have to admit you’ve thought about kissing those lips-“

“do you guys remember that time he yawned and stretched and his shirt rode up a little bit because i definitely do-“

“oh god and he smells so fucking good all the time-“

“and that ass just does noT quit!”

“i would kill like ten people if it meant i could sit on his face.” seulgi mutters as she smooths some tinted chapstick over her bottom lip

“seulgi!” you laugh and peel your leg warmer off jusT to hurl it at her “it’s concerning that you have a set number of people to kill just to sit on someone’s face”

she catches it right before it hits her arm before throwing it right back at you “it’s more concerning that not once have yoU ever openly admitted to thinking that park jimin is insanely attractive-“

“first of all, we should be addressing him as mr. park because he told us to-“ you point out as you slip your leg warmer back on “and secondly, i’m here because i want to become a professional ballerina, not because i want to gawk at my teacher like the rest of you-“

“hey, we wanna be professional ballerinas just as much as you do, but who says we can’t have a little fun?” jisoo giggles before wiggling her eyebrows

“you know, there’s only one logical explanation i can come up with to explain why you don’t gush about mr. park the same way we do.” seulgi sighs as she takes a seat across from you and begins to stretch out her legs

“enlighten me, detective kang.” you can’t help but roll your eyes because wHY are you guys still talking about jimin when you should be talking about,,.,.,. like.,,.,. stretching? or somEthing else related to ballet and noT your teacher

also

on a slightly unrelated note

you and seulgi have kind of become friends? but not really

you guys have a best frenemy kind of relationship if that makes any sense

the two of you are still very much competitive with each other anD will not hesitate to take jabs at each other when the opportunity arises

but other than that you guys sort of get along

except when performances are around the corner because she gets super bitchy about getting whatever role it is she wants

anyways

back to it

“because you have a crush on him.”

you immediately freeze in the middle of tying the ribbons around your ankle

“i’m sorry, i what now?”

“you have a crush on him!” seulgi smirks veRy cockily “think about it! you don’t like it when we talk about him because you want him allllll to yourself and you can’t even fathom the thought of another girl lusting over him-“

and this would be one of those moments where seulgi likes to get under your skin just to get a reaction

you poke your tongue against the inside of your cheek as you take a second to consider the possibility

do you have a crush on your teacher?

he’s mr. park

you can’t have a crush on mr. park because he’s mr. pARK

he’s very strict and controlling and sometimes a little mean like that time he yelled at you in front of the class for being the only who missed a count  

but also he can be really sweet and caring and surprisingly funny and you’ll never admit it to anyone for as long as you live but one class you started daydreaming (this was the class he yelled at you about missing the count lol) about what it’d be like to hold his hand and kiss his cheeks and dig your nails into his oh-so broad back as he-

your movements slow down slightly as you think about what happened on the night of the incident

“you really are something, you know that?” he laughs lightly as he smooths the bandaid over your cut

you can’t help but let out a little huff “…is that a good thing?”

he gives your knee a little pat before reaching over a tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear

“miss y/l/n - it’s a very good thing.”

“that is the most ridiculous theory i have ever heard in my entire life-“  

“every single time we talk about how attractive jimin is, you get all quiet and blushy in the corner and you neVEr contribute to the conversation-“

“yeah, maybe because there’s a line of professionalism and respect that i need to stay behind unlike yoU guys-“

“oh, and now you’re getting all defensive because you know for a fact that every word coming out of my mouth is TRUE! just admit it, y/l/n, you have a crush on our teacher-“

“i mean, i think i have a crush on mr. park-“ jisoo chips in and you and seulgi immediately turn to glare at her as if to say stay ouT OF IT

“i- you know what, this is just ridiculous!” you scoff and get up off the ground “i’m going to go and get some water to cool off-“

“oh yeah, you’re gonna cool off? is thinking about jimin’s face in between your legs getting you all hot and bothe-“

“jesus ch- lalalaLALALALALA-“you immediately stick your fingers into your ears and start babbling loudly while seulgi starts speaking louder and louDER

“you loVE HIM!!! YOU WANNA KISS HIM ROMANTICALLY!!!” seulgi’s practically shrieking at this point and the other girls are having a hoOT

in fact some of them are chiming in to make fun of you as well

“oOoooh y/n do you wanna hold his hand-“

“do you think about him in class sometimes?? a couple of us have noticed that moony look in your eye from time to time-“

“maybe if you ask him nicely he’ll help you with stretching-“

“y/n, look, this is my demonstration of what you wanna do to mr. park-“ lisa turns around so that her back is facing you and she wraps her arms around herself before sliding them up and down sensually anD making kissy noises

“oh, real mature, lisa-“ you take your fingers out of your ears and wince because woW these girls are loud “okay, everyone shuT UP-“

everyone quiets down a little but they’re still giggling and whispering among each other

“what’s it gonna take for you people to drop this duMB theory??” you cross your arms and raise your brows as you tap your foot on the ground impatiently

“all you have to do is admit that you have a crush on our teacher and i’ll be satisfied.”

“but i don’t have a crush on him!”

“y/n, need i remind you that i’m, like, slightly psychic? because you are totaLLy lying through your teeth right now.” seulgi inspects her nails casually and you let out a quiet huff

okay

you know what

yEs

maybe you do have a crush on jimin

maybe it’s true that you don’t like it when the other girls talk about him because a part of you selfishly wants him all to yourself

maybe everything seulgi’s said is truE

and the whole class obviously knows that you like jimin because a) seulgi is the biggest gossip on the planet and b) even if seulgi said that the earth was flat, everyone would believe it regardless because she iS the top dog around here

and if you admit it then hopefully they’ll leave it alone forever

“alright, fine!” you clear your throat and stand up a little taller “i have a crush on park jimin.” you gasp dramatically and make little jazz hands

you know what

if you’re going to confess you should do it right

you should go aLL out

“in fact, i think mr. park is a complete smoke show. i think he’s the hottest person i’ve ever seen in my entire life, and yes, i have noticed his pillowy lips, and i did notice that time he stretched and revealed his glorious six pack to the world, and i am very much aware that he smells like he stepped straight out of a shampoo commercial, and yes, you’re right, he has a veRY nice ass - and you know what, seulgi? i’ll say this one just for you.” you narrow your eyes and lean forward a little bit “i would 100% love to sit on park jimin’s face because i, y/n y/l/n, am 110% attracted to him.”

seulgi nods slowly and presses her lips together

it almost seems as though she’s stifling a laugh

…which was not the reaction you were expecting

you were expecting her to get all gloaty and i-told-you-so about it

“wow. and now everyone’s gone quiet!” you point out the obvious before crossing your arms

her and the rest of the girls get up off the ground and immediately form a line before getting into first position

and you know exactly what that means

every single hair on your body prickles to life when you hear someone slurping up the last of their drink behind you

“good afternoon, ladies.”

oh

my

god

“good afternoon, mr. park.” everyone (except for you because you are understandably moRTIFIED) responds politely

you feel like your feet are glued to the ground and you want nothing more than for a black hole to appear and swallow you entirely

“i said, good afternoon, ladies.”

it takes every fibre in your body to twist around slowly and you force yourself into first position

you’re a mere one and a half steps away from jimin and that’s making you more nervous than you already are

you swallow thickly

jimin offers you a sly smile as he runs a hand through his (newly dyed!!) ashy silver hair before taking his sunglasses off

“g-“ your throat closes up as soOn as you try to speak “good afternoon, mr. park.”

you feel like there’s a rock in your stomach

you also feel like you’re about to projectile vomit everywhere

why do bad things always happen to you

WHY

you just-

you just openly confessed that not oNLY are you romantically attracted to your teacher, you are also sexually attracted to your teacher!

great!

good one!

love that energy for you!

you know what

maybe it’s not as bad as you think

maYbe he didn’t hear anything

maybe you’re in the clear and you’re just overthinking it

“would you like to join your peers in line, miss y/l/n?” jimin asks and gestures towards the girls

“yes, sir.” you nod stiffly before quickly heading over to join lisa at the end of the line

the room is dead quiet as jimin sets his belongings down before taking his jacket off

oh god

he’s wearing that thin white shirt that gets a liTtle see through when he’s sweaty-

“how bad was it?” you lean over to whisper to lisa

her face is getting pink from how hard she’s trying to not completely burst into laughter right now

her cheeks are literally tremBLING

“he was here for the opening line and he was here for your final statement, which i think, pretty much summed up your entire speech.”

i would 100% love to sit on park jimin’s face because i, y/n y/l/n, am 110% attracted to him

i would 100% love to sit on park jimin’s face because i, y/n y/l/n, am 110% attracted to him

i would 100% love to sit on park jimin’s face because i, y/n y/l/n, am 110% attracted to him

yep

it’s official

you want to: die

you’re already sweating through your unitard and you guys haven’t done anything

“no talking please, ladies…” jimin hums as he plugs his phone charger into the outlet

maybe you can just pretend like you lost your voice so you won’t have to speak for the rest of eTERNITY

“okay!” jimin claps his hands together before crossing his arms “i’m gonna rock your world-” you’re verRy aware of the fact that he maintains strong eye contact with you the entire time he says that “with some grand jeté’s today. everyone ready?”

“yes, mr. park.” everyone responds simultaneously except for you agAIN

“-es mr. park.” you blurt out at the last second

you stop nervously picking at your chiffon skirt when you see jimin’s eyes flicker down to your hand

oops

surprisingly enough jimin doesn’t jump straIght into the grand jetés right away (he’s taking it easy just for u because he’s still worried about ur ankle)

he makes everyone practice balancing and standing in the final position which is basically just standing up straight on your pointes

also anoTher surprising thing that he’s doing

he said that today was more of a casual class so he’s letting everyone talk amongst themselves while practicing

of course you haven’t said a word because your lips still feel like they’re glued together

also you decided it’d be best if you hung out at the very baCK of the classroom just to attempt to avoid being spotted by jimin

“arms straight… chest out… very good…” jimin slowly makes his way down the back row and you curse quietly when you feel yourself wobble slightly

your eyes widen in surprise when you feel two hands place themselves on your hips from behind

“back straight, miss y/l/n.” jimin reminds you gently before sliding a finger from the small of your back up to the centre of your back “arch here. chest out.”

his other hand slides around so that it’s resting right on your stomach and you feel like your entire body is on fiRE “squeeze your core tight.” he mutters into your ear

you feel your cheeks heat up almost immediately because that should noT have been as hot as it was

christ almighty

get it toGETHER

“you seem a little distracted today, miss y/l/n.” jimin murmurs quietly as he moves to stand in front of you

he leans back a little to look at both your arms before reaching over to raise your left arm a bit “everything alright?”

“everything’s alright, mr. park.” you somehow manage to keep yourself composed even though jimin is basically staring two holes into your soul right now

“mhm.” jimin reaches over and places his pointer finger under your chin before raising your head a little

you lock gazes with him and you notice a little glimmer in his eyes “can’t have you sprain your other ankle because you were too busy thinking about sitting on my face now, can we?”

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

requested drabbles masterlist

[glazelilyy]

OOOOOH i've listened to prayer x by king gnu already!! found it from an anime i watched and immediately fell in love with it :>>

as for my favorite songs,,, i've been listening to a lot of your name songs lately JSJXKDKDD. the movie's osts are some of the best things i've ever heard omg. my favorite one probably has to be kataware doki tho CUZ IT SOUNDS SO PRETTY AND CALMING

hey hey did the anime you found prayer x through involve a certain blonde named ash and a certain photographer named eiji :P (banana fish ruined me eternally and i can no longer visit a library without screaming in my head/lh) also yeah!! when i first heard it i was like ?? oh my god this sounds so good??? it was in my top songs for my spotify wrap hehe >:)

YESS YOU UNDERSTAND ME!! radwimps did such a phenomenal job with the soundtrack hngngh there's not a single song on the entire your name ost that i either haven't listened to or dislike. kataware doki aaa!!! literally makes me tear up on the spot pfbfbt- i kid you not i was out with friends once and it was kinda late and we were coming home on the bus and i had my earbuds in listening to sparkle and the instrumental part hit and i just started crying out of nowhere??? it was so embarrassing HAHA

just curious but have you seen shinkai's newest movie? i saw it in theatres with a friend and it was absolutely phenomenal (the soundtrack too!!) :D

[langdxn]

How would Xavier react to finding out you’re having twins?

Oooooh it’s breeding kink time! 🖤🖤🖤

“T...tw...two babies?”

You could’ve sworn you heard Xavier’s jaw hit the floor with a thud.

“Yes, Xav, two babies.”

“Two babies... inside you?” His hands roved to your bump, which you affectionately called your ‘planet’. You knew you were big considering how far along you were, but the scans earlier that day justified your size thanks to the presence of two extra humans. “We made two babies up against the studio mirror?”

Xavier’s hands trembled as they framed your bump, his gaze trained on it as if computing its existence.

“You seem surprised, Plympton,” you chuckled, a wry smile curling your lips as you watched his face contorting through a spectrum of emotions. “Weren’t you expecting more than one?”

“I... err... no, not really. Do twins run in your family? They don’t in mine,” he stammered, eyes darting from side to side — you could almost picture his family tree scrolling through his mind like the intro to Star Wars.

“Mine either baby, I guess these things just happen.” Your innocent shrug suggested you weren’t exactly an expert on genetics yourself, you didn’t have any answers for why you were currently carrying two little bundles of joy but you didn’t care.

Understandably, Xavier needed time to process the news, he had been at an audition for a part in M*A*S*H while you were at the hospital for your scan appointment. You had the bus ride home to adjust to your new life as a mom twice over, you had to fill the daddy in on the updates once he slumped through the front door of your shared apartment not long after you.

Drawing his bottom lip between his teeth, a distinct fear washed over Xavier’s face, a sharp glint of terror in his eyes as his gaze met yours.

“Are you sure we can handle two? I mean we’ve never had one before, what if two’s too much?”

“Shh honey, you’re worrying more than me,” you cooed softly, brushing stray bleached strands back from his face and swooping to cup his chin. “We’ve got each other and our two little ones, that’s all we’ll ever need.”

Xavier’s fingers dipped gently into the sides of your bump, surveying the home your body created for your two indescribably precious creations.

“But what about money? I’m barely working as it is, we can’t feed two extra mouths on my money.”

“Xavier Plympton,” you faux-scowled beneath furrowed brows, trying your hardest to imitate his intense gaze when he would scold you for worrying too much. “I’ll get myself a job here while you’re at Camp Redwood over the summer, you’ll be back by the time they’re born.”

“It was hard enough leaving you when we only had one baby, but leaving you and two little ones?” Xavier sank to his knees and pressed a cheek to your babies’ home. “Daddy’s gonna be back home before you know it, so don’t go making any early appearances, right kids?”

A heartfelt smile beamed across his cheeks as he held his breath to listen out for the two heartbeats inside you. Of course he couldn’t hear them, but he felt connected enough to make up the sounds for himself.

“I love you both so goddamn much, you hear me in there?” Xavier called through your bump, a playful grin dancing across his face. “Never forget that.”

As he took to his feet to capture your lips in a loving, grateful kiss, Xavier was back to his normal self — grinning, bubbly and content with his family right in front of him.

“Good thing I got the audition today then, isn’t it?”

[rockinrpmemes]

Billy Madison ( 1995 ) meme

Slightly naughty, and really stupid. 🙃 OH! And feel free to change whatever.

“Suntan lotion is good for me; you protect me, tee-hee-hee!”

“The sun tries to burn me, but you won’t let it, will ya!!?”

“Ultraviolet rays: bad! Lotion: good!”

“It's nudie magazine day!”

“It’s too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin’ around here. I gotta send him back to the South Pole.”

“The people at the zoo are real nice, Mr. Penguin... They'll treat you REAL respectable- like.”

“Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. No! Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth!”

“Hahahahahaha---shut up!”

“That boy's a fine piece of work all right. He's a fine piece of ass though, too.”

“You know I like Snack Pack, why can't you just GIVE ME A SNACK PACK?!!”

“I thought I was your snack pack.”

“What a WEIRDO!”

“Well ___’s daddy is in prison, and he won’t be out for a very long, long, time.”

“Uh, do we have to discuss this with Captain Dipshit here?”

“Don’t tell me my business, devil woman!”

“Call the fire department, this one's outta control!”

“He called the shit 'poop!’”

“I'll get you damn kids for this! You're all gonna die!”

“That little boy's gotta think: ‘You got a pet. You got a responsibility.’ If your dog gets lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that fucking dog!”

“Well, I made the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before, and frankly, I wanted to see one.”

“When I graduated the first grade, all my dad did was tell me to get a job.”

“Hey, you wanna feed that donkey some beer? Get it all messed up?”

“Donkey Kong sucks!”

“You know something, you suck!”

“Now you're all in big, big trouble!”

“Don’t ever leave me open, son. Cause I’m gonna hit it every time.”

“YOU BLEW IT!!!”

“No milk will ever be ‘our’ milk.”

“OW!! YOU'RE TEARING MY EAR OFF!!”

“Oh, [ name ] ! So hot! Want to touch the hiney! Arrroooooooo!”

"‘Touch her boobs?’ That's assault brotha’... You *double* dare me?"

“If peeing your pants is cool, then consider me Miles Davis.”

“Oooooh! That is the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life!”

“I swear to God I'm sick. I can't go to school.”

“If you're gonna stay home today, you can help me shave my armpits.”

“T-t-t-t-oDAY, junior!”

"What do I care about some stupid phony wrestling guy?"

"Is he going to have a stupid party every time he passes a grade?"

"You know, everyone's having a good time but you."

“Wanna trade me the rest of that Snack Pack for this banana?”

“You know how badly I could beat you, right?”

"Don't you think it's a little pathetic that just because of who your [ Father/Mother ] is, you get to do this all over again?"

“I dare you to throw your sandwich at the bus driver. Do it. Come on!”

“HEY! Who thew that? I'll turn this damn bus around. That'll end your PRECIOUS little field trip pretty damn quick, eh?!”

“Who would steal 30 bagged lunches?”

“I'll tell you who took those lunches. That damn Sasquatch!”

“That [ name ] is one hot piece of ass, I know from experience dude.”

“Everybody on? Good, great, grand, wonderful!”

“NO YELLING ON THE BUS!

“I could think of 3 things I'd like to do. One would involve some ice cubes and a nine iron. 2 would include a buffalo, live or stuffed, preferably stuffed for safety's sake, and 3, we bring back some of those ice cubes and switch it over to a pitching wedge.”

“Stay here for as long as you can! For the love of GOD cherish it!”

“Sometimes I feel like an idiot. But I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.”

“Chlorophyll? More like BORE-A-phyl! Amiright?”

“No I will not make out with you! 

“Did ya hear that? This girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class!”

“I'm here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you!”

“I kinda gave you a hard time back then, and I did some things I thought were funny at the time, and realize now they were just mean and stupid.”

“You, me, [ name ] and [ name ] are gonna go around, putting shit on people's doorsteps and we gonna sets it on fire!”

“You know some people have no will power, no ambition. They just drift through life like lumps of crap.”

“Oh, gross... did you see that guy's balls?... They were weird looking.”

“What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard.”

“At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you nothing, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

“Okay, a simple ‘no’ would've done just fine.”

“You think HE’S horny... ”

[miraculouslycool]

Rae Rewatches Miraculous Ladybug

Season 1: The Mime

Damn, Alya really couldn't wait

Her excited expressions are so cute my god

I love how Alya's phone plays the show theme music in the background lkdkdls

Why does August's mom have another husband?

That was so sweet of her

Look at that pigeon copying Alya

Her laptop? The one she didn't bring when she came over?

Okay, living rooms exist, I'll shut up

How did that delete the video?? Her hand wasn't anywhere close the tick mark!

What are those noises lmaoooo

Jacques the pigeon...now I know where it comes from

Mylene wants to be an actress because her father is an actor. Nice!

Their relationship is so sweet

Why does the understudy look exactly like him except with lesser and red hair?

You tell him, woman. That guy needs to know his place.

Marinette the klepto

Dude just get a taxi

Marinette you've made these plans before, when have they ever worked?

Chris, What a jerk.

Fred, tell her that Chris lied to you!! FIRE THAT JERK

Not that anything justifies akumatisation, but he was definitely right to be angry about it

*skips Hawkmoth monologue*

Yeah...that video is totally gonna work...Alya definitely won't notice the lack of reporters or anything...

Cats are bad luck lmao

I genuinely feel sorry for this guy

How funny would it be if Hawkmoth hit himself while he was brandishing his cane like that

Okay, how did that slash not KILL that advertiser?

Did she drop Alya's phone again lol

How is Roger alive after that

Adrien, your dad is off playing with his butterflies again

I like that they let Adrien actually be frustrated with his father's bs instead of shoving it away.

LADRIEN LADRIEN LADRIEN

THEY'RE JUST STARING AT EACH OTHER WITH SO MUCH LOVE

BABIES YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE IMPALED BY AN INVISIBLE ARROW

Natalie is probably thinking Gabriel is on his period again

You know in all the time he takes to mime stuff one could actually kick him in the face

HOLY SHI-

It's been three years since I saw this episode and apparently I've forgotten everything

YES KITTY SAVE HER

That scene of Chat charging at an invisible cage is peak comedy

"There I did it!" BABY

"Nice ride! But if I were you I'd atleast have made it a convertible" looks like he has a thing for getting caught by Ladybug

I never noticed that detail of Chat grabbing Ladybug's hand so she wouldn't fly away!

August's mom's 600th twin sister nearly dies again

"Of course they'll never believe us if we tell them we just saved their lives" Chat it's pretty clear you are riding an invisible SOMETHING

I always loved that moment where he pulls her closer to pull them up in the air

And Ladybug's body language, as it has been said millions of times, is not in any way uncomfortable.

She wouldn't feel okay with sitting on his lap like that otherwise.

She only banters with him a little before directing him on what to do next

That being said.....that one moment is great fanfiction fodder

Imagine you are in your car/bus/vehicle and suddenly "THA-DUNK!" Ladybug and Chat Noir drop on your vehicle and scare you to death

Man this episode is underrated

"MIAOW"

Look at all those stunts

How do they recognise these unrecognisable akumas??

Chat pulling Ladybug away from him. That's it.

Wow I thought the Mime would like...kill that random driver or something

Chat extending his baton WHILE using it as a shield!

He literally got himself thrown off a bus while protecting everyone in it successfully and people still think he doesn't care about civilians?

Ugh, Chris

About time he confessed.

Fencing is definitely Chat's thing

OHH I LOVE THAT TRANSITION OF THE MIME SLASHING THROUGH THE SCREEN

YES GIRL SAVE YO MAN

What did he stop her with?

Okay this guy is an amazing villain

Better than Hawkmoth, but that's a terribly low bar

"He sure brings a whole new meaning to silent but deadly!"

Her groan lmao

Explosive boots ksksksjkak what the fuck will that accomplish

"BLOW HIS FUSE!" why did she think it was a good idea to yell those exact words out loud

"Chat Noir, you are good at annoying people, do your thing!" "Hey!! ... that's true."

What do you mean they aren't an old married couple?

Oooooh

She-

She got a shoebox and her idea was to destroy the Eiffel Tower

My god

That was incredible

Marinette's mind works in unexpected ways

"Yoink!!"

KITTY BLEP

AJSKSKKA LOOK AT HIM TRYING ON HIS HAT

Lmao that guy being so happy over his car is so wholesome

"How many times?" The Eiffel Tower asks

Fred is too nice. Even if he was forgiven, he shouldn't be allowed to perform. Such unprofessional attitude. Hmph

I love how the Eiffel Tower lights up just as Ladybug flies away

The way he looks at her

This episode has so many forgotten Ladynoir gems

*skips Hawkmoth monologue*

Was her phone in the dumpster all along? Ew

HE CHOSE THE SEAT NEXT TO HER

Maybe that was the seat he happened to reserve-

WHO CARES, IT'S ADRIENETTE

Alya just noticed Adrien lol

And he still hasn't noticed her gawking at him

Look at the style in which he sits

So prim and proper

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!

AFTER THAT GUY TRIED TO SABATOGE HIS COLLEAGUE THEY LET HIM PERFORM?!

UNACCEPTABLE, UTTERLY UNACCEPTABLE

I think I'd just forgive Marinette immediately. Her way of apologizing is so cute

Thank goodness, Alya

AWW THAT IS THE SWEETEST THING EVER

Ladybug's voice is a little deeper than Marinette's

Alyanette is goals

But man, I really enjoyed this episode. Underrated as heck.

[buginateacup]

The lovely Displacerghost tagged me so...

Tag 10 people you want to know better (or people from your activity feed)

1. What’s the story behind your username? My nickname is Bug and I like tea, also its a fun alliterative name that rolls off the tongue

2. Zodiac sign? Taurus

3. What are you currently reading? (And/or watching?) Romancing Mr Bridgerton in honour of the TV show due in December (Penelope Featherington is my GIRL I am SO EXCITE) Also attempting a Hannibal rewatch but it keeps making me hungry

4. Last thing you Googled? How to get rid of pins and needles (for fic reasons)

5. Song stuck in your head? Night Shift by Lucy Dacus

6. What’s your favourite instrumental/non-lyrical song? oooooh tough. If I’m working then the soundtrack from Everybody’s gone to the Rapture. If I’m moving then the Pacific Rim theme

7. What was the last dream you had (that you can remember)? Mellie and I were in a bus on our way to a formal dinner at a winery that was also a disused castle. I needed to borrow her eyeliner

8. What’s the weirdest food you love? I don’t know if its weird but blue cheese with caramelised fig jam

9. What superpower do you wish you had? Yeah shapeshifting, something that lets me fly

10. What’s your favourite holiday? I like christmas day but not christmas season so probably Not!Australia day, aka whatever day the hottest 100 is playing because that is BBQ with friends day

12. What did you want to be when you grew up? A marine biologist. SAME HAT

11. What’s your dream job now? Museum curator for stored artefacts and repatriation officer

13. What stories were most influential on you? Eeeeesh ask an easy one why dont you? Tamora Pierce was a big one. And Phantom of the Opera...and all of Pratchett. Actually yeah Pratchett. Nightwatch and The Fifth Elephant

14. What’re some of your favourite animals? My smooch of a cat Maya. Also Giraffes and Cuttlefish

15. If you could be an animal, what would you want to be? Any kind of megafauna. Just be big and cuddly and someone else’s problem if they want me to move.

16. What’s your favourite poem? Yeats An Irish Airman foresees his Death had a pretty big impact on me. A lonely impulse of delight, Drove to this tumult in the clouds; is such a line that it still hits me hard every time

17. Did you have a best thing today? Posted another chapter of Tea With Topsy, might be watching the grand final later, will probably go for a walk

I shall not tag but if any of my followers want to do this thing tag me and I will read!

[mss4msu]

“Do I Wanna Know?” (Chapter 10)

Summary: On a visit to a local nightclub, the lounge singer catches your eye. Soon becoming a regular at the club, the way you look on the dancefloor gets his attention. You begin to hear stories about the notorious crime lord who owns and operates the small nightclub. When your friends worry that you’ve gotten mixed up with a mobster, you wonder if it’s better to be left in the dark and find yourself asking, “Do I wanna know?” if you’re getting involved with one of the most revered mobsters in the city. 

Pairing: Mobster!Bucky x Reader

Words: 1235

Warnings: Language, Being tied up in a not fun way, Reference to drugging also more drugging

A/N: OOOOOH BABY WHAT’S GON HAPPEN NEXT

Read the Full Story Here

You were at a loss for words and could feel tears prickling in your eyes as Tony Stark walked forward, cracking his knuckles deliberately as he stepped toward you. 

“Alright, (Y/N),” Tony spat as though your name was poison in his mouth, “You are going to give me the answers you apparently couldn’t give earlier.”

You stared in silence at Tony.

“Did you fucking hear me?” Tony grabbed a handful of your hair and yanked your head back so you were looking straight up at him. 

“Y-y--yes,” you managed to choke out. 

“Good. Now, why did you go to the club,” he drew out the word with a snarl, “last Friday?”

“I wanted to see James.”

“And at the club, you had a few too many drinks and then what happened?”

“I--I went home.”

Tony growled as he yanked your head back harder, “What did you do between the drinks and going home?”

“Nothing? I don’t know!” you yelled out as tears burned their way out of your eyes. 

Tony huffed and snapped the fingers of his free hand. You couldn’t see what was happening, but seconds later you felt a sharp sting in your neck and a coolness flood your veins.

“Let’s try that again, shall we? What did you do at the club after you had your drinks,” Tony sneered. 

Your head began to pound as memories you didn’t know you had suddenly swirled through your head. Tears poured from your eyes as your mouth revealed the scenes that played in your mind. Tony lessened his hold on you with each piece of information you revealed; the winding hallway, the Russian men, the torture, the blood, stumbling back to the car, going home and spending the night sick. 

“What...what did you do to me?” you sobbed. 

“I did nothing more than give you back your memories.”

“Those aren’t mine. That was from a dream,” you recalled, trying to find a logical explanation for the horrors playing in your mind, “It was just a dream.”

“Ha. Ha. Ha. As if your imagination could be that powerful,” Tony yanked your head back once more and got so close to you that you could feel his hot breath leaving condensation on your ear, “Guess you still don’t remember your precious Peter Parker slipping you something in your water on your ride home, do ya?”

Your breath caught in your throat and you choked, causing Tony to let go of his hold on you. He stepped back from you, staring down menacingly at your bound body. 

“Bet you thought poor, Peter Parker, who wanted to go get a college degree, was a good kid, didn’t you? You truly are a dumb bitch. Who else did you think was on your side? Maybe….Happy? The man who convinced you to take a bus to see James by yourself in a known crime-ridden neighborhood?” Tony began to laugh maniacally, “Of course the dumbest shit you did was trust James Barnes.”

The scene of James beating that man played in your head as Tony took a long breath in an attempt to stop his laughs. 

“I---I don’t understand,” you meekly got out. 

“What part of this is hard to understand, sweetheart?” Tony’s mocking sweetness was sickening.

You audibly gulped, “Why are you doing this?”

“Why does anybody ever do anything? Revenge,” he had a wicked glint in his eye, “Why don’t I start at the beginning for you. 15 years ago my parents died in what I and the world thought was a freak car accident. Dad had never been one to shy away from drinks at a party and one night he had knocked back a few too many before driving home. The world mourned for the loss of Stark Industries’ namesake. I reluctantly took over the company, which suffered a massive hit in shareholders after the accident. Luckily, with the help of a good friend, I believe you’ve met Steve Rogers, I was able to get the company up and running again with more investors than ever. At least, that’s how it worked for a few years until the lawsuit with the metalworkers of Wakandan Inc. The deaths they suffered due to production of Stark products were catastrophic. Steve thought there was a better way to help them, but I knew paying the fees and severing all ties was the only way to ensure that Stark Industries didn’t go under. Steve left shortly after that, told me he wanted to ‘lay low’ with an old friend. We had our differences, but Steve’s absence in the company was felt by everyone. So I began to look into his new partner to see what I could offer to get him back. James fucking Barnes. At first appearances, he seemed like a club owner just trying to make his own way in the world. Couldn’t for the life of me figure out how working at a nightclub could be any better than working for me. But then I started digging deeper into Barnes’ lifestyle; trips around the world where he would go off the radar for weeks at a time, investments in companies even I don’t have a chance of getting a stake in, and connections with people a measly club owner has no right to know. It was only when I started using more...questionable...sources that I started to get better answers. Those weeks when Barnes would go missing? Apparently high profile people would go missing too. Companies he had stakes in? Their stocks always soared after one of his little trips. And, well, the connections? Those just speak for themselves don’t they. James Barnes makes people go away for a price. Or at least he did until you,” this was the first time Tony had acknowledged you in his whole rant, “decided to walk into his club.”

“Me?”

“The trip Barnes took this week was the first one he has taken in months. And as far as my people know, it’s the first time he actually stuck to an itinerary and didn’t disappear.”

“What about the men I saw?”

“They work for me. Or at least they did. They never reported back after that night. It was the first time I had actually gotten guys into the club to do recon for me, quite a shame really.” 

You decided to hazard one more question, “And what does this have to do with revenge?”

Tony’s face fell and he got so close to you goosebumps formed on your skin where his breath hit, “The son of a bitch killed my parents.”

Your stomach lurched. Everything else Tony had said had sounded like it could have been the plot of a gangster fic, but the way his voice changed when he said that…you knew he was telling the truth. 

“Boss,” one of the masked men, whose voice you now recognized as belonging to Happy, came up behind Tony and tapped him on the shoulder with your phone, “Sorry to interrupt, but we checked her phone and he’s been blowing it up.”

Tony snarled, “Then text him back. Make up an excuse as to why she won’t be….wait….give me that,” Tony snatched the phone out of Happy’s hands and began typing vigorously. 

When he was finished he looked down at you with a twisted grin on his face, “We’re gonna get you to the club after all.”

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Do I Wanna Know? Tag List:

@mrooks0205​ @shann-the-artist-moon​ @ashtheteenagewitch​ @abschaffer2​  @nootrishus​ @brilliantbellesoares​ @celestialstarshadow​ @yallneedtrek​ @princess15243​ @ivegenerallynoidea​ @everything-is-awesomesauce​

Bucky Barnes Tag List:

@basementcafe​ @ria132love​ @courtmr​ @jobean12-blog​

Permanent Tag List:

@sophiealiice​ @mrsdeanwinchester19​ @thisismysecrethappyplace​ @ailynalonso15​ @221bshrlocked​ @hazellnut94​ @libbymouse​ @nerdypinupcrystal​ @hufflepuffchloe​ @nerdy-bookworm-1998​ @dibsonamericasass​ @kind-sober-fullydressed​ @kakakatey​ @sarcasmoverlordxo​

[jgroffdaily]

Jonathan Groff sticks close to Lancaster roots while branching out in film, stage and TV

Conestoga Valley grad will move from off-Broadway musical to new 'Matrix' sequel on film.

When he is on stage at the 270-seat Westside Theatre in New York, Jonathan Groff says he often thinks about the Ephrata Performing Arts Center.

He is playing Seymour in an off-Broadway production of “Little Shop of Horrors,” which is being directed by Michael Mayer, of “Spring Awakening” fame, with Broadway veterans Christian Borle and Tammy Blanchard at Westside.

“Everyone is doing this for the fun of it,” Groff says. “It reminds me of EPAC. Nobody is trying to gain anything from it. There are no ulterior motives.”

The show is largely sold out, and reviews have been strong. Ben Brantley, of the New York Times, wrote that Groff “is generating major nerd charisma.”

For Groff, 34, being onstage is his “ultimate existence.” “That’s when I’m happiest,” he says. “ ‘Honk’ and ‘Bat Boy’ (shows he performed in at EPAC), it doesn’t get much better than that. And that’s how I feel with ‘Little Shop.’ ”

Hometown plans

Home is never far from Groff’s mind. He returns to Lancaster frequently, though sometimes just for a day.

“He was here for less than 24 hours on Thanksgiving,” says his mother, Julie Groff.

And he recently purchased a house and property next to his father’s farm in Christiana. It’s a place to live when he’s home, but also, Groff has plans for it.

“I want to turn the barns into creative spaces — a recording studio, an editing suite, a place to write, or a place to have small workshops,” Groff says. “I want it to be inspiring, quiet and peaceful.”

It’s in the future — Groff says it is a 10-year plan — but he is excited about the possibilities. He got the idea while he was playing Melchior Gabor in the cast of “Spring Awakening,” which he did off and then on Broadway from 2006 to 2008.

“Gideon Glick (who played Ernst and will be replacing Groff next month in ‘Little Shop’) was the first to leave the show, and my mother got a school bus and brought everyone in the cast to Lancaster,” he recalls.

“We hung out in the barn and had a bonfire outside. Gideon said how rejuvenating and inspiring it felt, and that got me thinking. It’s close to New York. Someone could come and spend a couple days here. My dad (Jim Groff) loves the idea, and I love the farm,” Groff says. “So as the years go by, we’ll make it a creative place.”

“When I bought the horse farm in 1987, the Realtor bought the frontage (of the property) and built eight houses. Jonathan bought one of those houses,” says Jim Groff, who is a horse trainer and a jockey. “The view out back is, well, you can’t beat it.”

Both Groffs note that their son won’t be tearing any of the barns down and won’t be changing the house much. As a creative spot, it will not have concerts or performances, but will be a quiet place.

“He wants to keep it all natural,” Julie Groff says. “It’s going to look sharp.”

Big movies

Groff’s career is going at hyperspeed these days.

He had to take time away from the “Little Shop” run for an intense press junket for “Frozen II,” the animated musical film that was released last month and is turning into another massive hit for Disney.

And it was announced recently that Groff will be appearing in “Matrix 4,” a film sequel scheduled for theatrical release in May 2021.

“He’s working with a personal trainer. The ‘Matrix’ people are getting him in shape,” says Jim Groff. “He’s working out every day, and he’s on a really strict diet. What gets me is he had to take a picture of everything he ate for a while.”

“He basically barely has enough time to eat,” says Julie Groff. “He is loving this, but I am sure it will catch up with him.”

There is no rest for the weary. Groff is set to leave “Little Shop” on Jan. 19.

The next day, he starts working on “Matrix 4,” which is being filmed partially in Chicago.

“He’s always wanted to appear in a big action movie,” Julie Groff says. “But he’s really a Disney fan. He always wanted to be in a Disney movie, and that turned out well.”

Indeed. “Frozen,” in which Groff voices mountain man Kristoff, was a global phenomenon and the largest-grossing animated film in history. The sequel is breaking records, too.

“I find it so easy to talk about ‘Frozen II,’” Groff says. “It’s so good, and the relationships with the directors and the the cast have been so positive.

“A lot of my interviews have been with Josh Gad (who voices Olaf the snowman),” he says. “We had such good time. It’s almost like a vacation.”

Groff says that when the first “Frozen” film came out in 2013, nobody expected it to be as huge as it was.

“We had all scattered after the film and didn’t really have a chance to do a lot of publicity,” he says. “So this was like a celebration for us.”

Anybody with children of a certain age will tell you how powerful “Frozen” was for their kids, particularly their daughters. Groff thinks part of the success of the movie was how it empowered the female characters.

“Kristoff is an evolved mountain man,” he says. “I love that he is there to serve the women — a man letting women take the spotlight. That flips convention.”

For a few weeks, Groff was all over TV, appearing on just about every talk show out there, from Jimmy Fallon’s “Tonight Show” to Stephen Colbert’s “The Late Show.”

During his most recent appearance with Colbert, Julie Andrews was another guest.

“Can you believe I met Julie Andrews!” Groff says.

On the show, Groff showed footage of his 3-year-old self dressed as Mary Poppins for Halloween, and noted that his older brother, David, was dressed as The Entertainer, complete with top hat and cane. In the family video, David Groff says of his brother, “He has lipstick on — oooooh!”

“He was trying to upstage me,” Groff says, laughing.

“You’ve got a great mom (to let you do that),” Colbert said.

“I do have a great mom,” Groff replied.

“ ‘Mary Poppins’ was Jonathan’s first real movie. He watched it every single day,” says Julie Groff. “It was my two-and-a-half hours to get things done. He became obsessed with the movie and acted out all the parts.”

His father says that he has always studied movies and other actors onstage.

“When he did stuff at the Fulton or at EPAC, smaller stuff, he would sneak around the corner and watch them every night — watch the changes the actors made,” Jim Groff says.

“Even today he does that,” Julie Groff says. “He never stops learning.”

“I like to call him up and give him my notes after I see a show,” Jim Groff says. “We get a laugh out of that.”

Not easily recognized

You’d think Groff would get stopped by people all the time, especially because of appearances on Fox’s “Glee,” HBO’s “Looking” and the Netflix series “Mindhunter,” in which he plays FBI agent Holden Ford. (Groff says the show is on hiatus at the moment.) But he says he rarely gets recognized.

“I look like a generic white person,” he says. “And I’m mainly on my bike because that’s how I get around New York. I sign autographs if people ask.”

“He said he walked down the street in his King (George) outfit from ‘Hamilton’ once and nobody paid any attention to him,” says Jim Groff with a hearty laugh. “In New York, people don’t bother you much.”

“Things may change with ‘Matrix 4,’ though I hope not,” Julie Groff says.

But Groff hasn’t changed. He still visits with friends from home backstage during a show. He is still accessible and friendly to everyone he meets.

“With Jonathan, what you see is how he has always been,” Julie Groff says.

Right now, Groff says, life is very full. His career is going great, he’s in a relationship with New Zealand-born choreographer Corey Baker, who lives in London, and he’s closer than ever with his family.

“This is a sweet moment in time,” he says.

[stonerbughead]

Maria watches friday night lights (#10)

Ahhh this season is so good, I’m not ready for it to end! This post covers the penultimate episodes: 3x11 - 3x12

-oh boyyy Lyla’s getting drunk to deal with her daddy issues. Real! Tho it is nice seeing Billy, Lyla, Tim, and Mindy getting along I guess? Sigh.

-HAHAHA poor Tyra being forced to throw Mindy a “tea party” bridal shower.

-let’s maybe NOT call your son’s 15 year old girlfriend a “minx” or a “plague,” Joe McCoy?!?!

-oh Matt :( taking out his anger and emotions about his grandma’s deteriorating health on his mom :( this is so hard

-oooooh this redistricting plotline is such an interesting shake up!! Holy shit these fully grown men standing around a table redrawing the redistricting line to “keep the Dillon Panthers intact” is truly wild.

-I really like this scene where Lyla breaks down to Tim about letting her mom and siblings move to California without her and feeling like she has no family now that Buddy has hurt her. I feel like too many teen dramas have a teen character’s family move away and never show it affecting them which feels wholly unrealistic.

-I have to believe Texas weather around semifinals time actually lends itself to dramatic pouring rain?? Bc I mean, it WORKS but this happened in S1 too right?

“He’s got to do what the coach tells him to do!” Thank you Katie McCoy. You need to get away from your terrible, controlling husband. Like, even when they win this dude isn’t happy bc it didn’t happen the WAY he thought it should.

-omfg I just gasped when JD’s dad called Madison a “tramp.” WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU

-and of course Tami and Eric are seated in the window of Applebee’s seeing the abuse happen and run out to help. You know who Tami and Eric remind me of (except they’re better): Kirsten and Sandy Cohen of the OC. It’s that “parents of everyone, moral compass of the community” trope. Honestly like, the only good teen drama parent trope. (To a similar extent I guess Mary and Fred Andrews’ play/ed that role on Riverdale)

“I think I’m okay here, hanging with my gal” - Tim Riggins is such a romantic boy wow. His pep talk for Lyla about going to college despite her dad’s bullshit was so precious.

“He hit my baby.” Oh pooor Katie McCoy, you need to get yourself and your boy away from your husband.

-lol when’s the last time we saw Gracie? Julie’s been absent this ep, she babysitting? Hahaha

-oh yes Tyra deserves this beautiful pep talk from her mom!!

-good on this show for naming what Joe McCoy did as “child abuse” bc YEP. Tami and Eric feeling awful about calling CPS (but being mandated to do so as educators) is such a real and well done conflict.

-omg Matt’s art portfolio!! He wants to go to Chicago for art! I just love the image of Tami, Julie, and Matt flipping through his portfolio ugh yes. Soft.

“It reads like a five page needlepoint pillow.” Lmao Landry and yeah, writing the college essay sucks.

“They have the biggest Van Gogh collection.” Saracen’s a man after my own heart.

FYI I left and Jeff gave me a dab that hit hard (I dramatically said it “killed me”) so the rest of 3x12 and the post was composed whilst I’m even more stoned than usual.

-wow Landry missing the bus the ONE time he drinks damn

-hey I’ve never seen this coach leading the chants on the bus before. Is this like his whole job

-awww Lorraine asking Julie if Matt likes art and she’s like, yeah he loves it! And he’s amazing at it. So cute. Oh wow both of them agreeing they don’t want to “hold him back from anything.”

-My heart! This show does such a good job of showing so many heartwarming dynamics of all kinds.

-ooookay Katie I get why you don’t want to be friends with Tami anymore....but like y’all need parenting classes, your husband is straight up abusive to your child. Also I’m scared for you, please leave that man

-OMFG Tyra lost her virginity at THIRTEEN? That’s so heartbreaking. Also everything she’s screaming about in the car needs to start going into this college essay. Omg is she gonna write about Jason Street getting paralyzed? Real. How many people in this town do you think used that in their college essay?

-Tim and Matt scene THANK YOU I am blessed

-omfg Tyra reading her essay out loud to Landry overlaying Tami and Eric on the field; Julie with baby grace; Saracen and Tim throwing the frisbee; the raucous Colette-riggins family in the car. Beautiful!!! Perfection.

-lol I saw the year 2008 on the game board and realized if this was fall 2008...I was a freshman in high school. JD is my peer.

-omg Joe McCoy has THE douchebag glasses. Classic child abuser am I right

-JD throwing a fit on the field is good fucking characterization bc you mimic what your parents do, especially when you’re a 15 year old kid

-OH SHIT SARACEN’S GOING IN AS QUARTERBACK FOR HIS LAST HALF EVER AS A HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL PLAYER??? The drama! The writing!

-YALL I am out here white knuckling it through this state game and I barely understand football and yet...I’m like wow really all you need to do to get me interested in a sport is make me care about the characters playing. Saracen and riggins are working so well together I cry

-damn what a way to go down. They actually turned the game around and a field goal is what made them lose :(

“I wanted everyone’s friends and families to be here tonight when I say this: I have never been more proud of a team than I am right now” oh Eric Taylor what a man

“There’s not a single person in this room who’s ever gonna be the same”’ wow I felt that

-Riggins always seems more contemplative in a Sherpa

[madamsixx]

Beyond The Leather Chapter 26: Sight Seeing In London

February 16th, 1986

I listened back stage as the girls all ran one by one to poke their heads out of the curtain. I started wondering what was going on. I walked towards the curtain and heard them fawning over some guy who was sitting in the audience.

"Hey Mel who are the girls looking at?" I asked with curiosity.

"Take a look for your self. He's so fucking hot." She grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the curtain to look.

What the hell the girls are staring at Vince! I popped my head back in and shook my head. Girls and Vince Neil. I was happy though that he kept his word and came. Last night I went to Motley's last show in London. It was very fun I enjoyed my self. It was time for us to start our cat walk.

I came out of the curtain and strutted down the runway. I side eyed Vince and sent him alittle wink while walking. I turned and posed then walked back. Today I was feeling good and I felt like nothing could bring me down.

After the show I got dressed and came out to meet Vince.

"Soooo how did you like the show?" I asked.

"Well I liked the models, I could care less about the show." He laughed. "I think I slept when the guy was talking and woke back up when the girls started coming out."

"Seriously Vince." I slapped his arm. I turned around to see all the girls looking at me and Vince. "Listen I'm going to introduce you to them. But no dirty buissness." I warned him.

After I introduced Vince to the girls, he headed back to the hotel and I headed to the reception. The limo dropped us off back at the hotel. The girls wanted to have a little fun at the hotel restaurant. I was down for some fun but I wanted to call home first. I headed up to my room, when I got out of the elevator Nikki was standing by my door with a big side bag.

I wonder what he wanted? I walked towards my door slowly watching him. He looked really sad.

"H...how was the fashion show?" He asked almost whispering.

"Good." I say cossing my arms.

He nodded his head and put his hands in his pockets. "I um...I know were not on good terms but this is my last day in London. I was hoping I could take you out?"

I wasn't in the mood to hang around him. After that argument we got into and finding out that Nikki shoots up drugs, I just felt like I wanted to enjoy the rest of my night drama free. Because in truth since he has been here there has been nothing but problems between us.

"I don't think that's a good idea Nikki." I say walking passed him. "I'm hanging out with my air head models tonight." I say unlocking my door.

He chuckled and rubbed his hand through his hair. "You may not beleive me when I say this because I have said it to you so much." He says blocking me from going in. "But I am sorry, I'm a fuck up and I don't mean to be. But I am."

I'm trying to not look at his face he just looks so sad and it's killing me.

"Mani." He calls me while grabbing my jaw for me to look at him. "I need to take you out tonight. Please." He Softly speaks. "It's my last day here. Please." He pleaded again.

"Where would we go?" I sigh.

He smirks at me. "Some where that will require you to bring a big coat." _____

We got into a limo and it pulled us into a secluded parking lot. I looked out the window and saw a huge bus. The limo stopped and I opened the door and saw the tour bus. I can't believe he still booked it. I wanted to tour London so bad on this bus.

"Nikki I can't believe you still did this." I said excitedly.

"And we have the whole bus to our selves." He grabbed my hand pulling me towards the bus.

"Hello Mr. Sixx and Miss. Darlington let me help you on the bus. The tour guide stuck his hand for me to take helping me get on the bus.

I climbed aboard all the way to the top. It was a cold night. Good thing he told me to bring a big coat. But I could care less about that. The fact that he still went out of his way to do this, considering our argument made me push all those thoughts about us not hanging around each other away. I sat in the front seat and he scooted in beside me.

"Ok so our first stop is going to be the Clock Tower." The tour guide said.

The bus started moving and I was all smiles. "Nikki I'm so happy thank you!" I giggled.

"Well I did have a day off so I figured why not plan something." He smiled at me.

"When did you book this? Was it in the morning?"

"Yeah I did. Actually Cheap Trick's Rick Nielson introduced Tommy and me to one of Tommy's favourite drummers, Roger Taylor of Queen." He explained.

"Oh wow, Tommy must have been excited.

"Yeah he was. Well Roger takes us and Cheap Trick singer Robin Zander to this Russian restaurant in London we drank infused vodka and dined. I asked Rick where he would take a pissed off girl to make her happy on a tour bus. And he told me about these special places to go."

"Aww Nikki." I hugged him. "Well it worked cause I'm not pissed off any more." I nudged him.

"And here we are at the Clock Tower." Our talking was interrupted by the tour guide. "Big Ben is the nickname for the Great Bell of the striking clock at the north end of the Palace of Westminster in London and is usually extended to refer to both the clock and the clock tower. The tower was designed by Augustus Pugin in a neo-Gothic style. When completed in 1859, its clock was the largest and most accurate four-faced striking and chiming clock in the world. The tower stands 315 feet 96 m tall, and the climb from ground level to the belfry is 334 steps. Its base is square, measuring 39 feet 12 m on each side. Dials of the clock are 23 feet 7.0 m in diameter.

"Oh no I didnt bring a camera." I pouted

"Good thing I did." Nikki grabs his bag and pulls out a Polaroid camera. "Here stand there."

I get up and pose for him. "Now one of me and you." I lean forward to grab him. He gets up and turns the camera to face us and snaps the picture.

"Alright loves next were going to Tower Bridge buckle up love birds it's going to beautiful." He smiled.

I sit back down and me and Nikki look at each other and start laughing like school kids.

"London is so beautiful. Especially at night." I whispered.

"Yes you are." Nikki hums and puts his arm around me.

"So am I not beautiful during the day?" I raise a brow.

"Oh..uh...yes of course." He stutterers.

"I'm messing with you Sixx." I say leaning in and kissing his cheek.

"Here we are Tower Bridge is a combined bascule and suspension bridge in London, built between 1886 and 1894. The bridge crosses the River Thames close to the Tower of London and has become an iconic symbol of London. As a result, it is sometimes confused with London Bridge, about half a mile upstream."

Tower bridge was so beautiful. The lights made everything look like it was pure gold. We drove slowly under the bridge and I honestly just couldn't believe I was here. I got up to look down at the water. It was calm and steady. The lights also made it look gold as well. I heard a snap and turned to face Nikki.

"Mr. Sixx did you just take a picture of me?" I smiled.

"I did princess." He smiles.

"Alright were heading to the next stop!" The tour guide yells again. To be honest he was giving me a headache.

I made sure to tuck every single one of the pictures in Nikkis bag. I was so afraid of loosing them. I wanted to remember this night. We sat back down and he wrapped his whole arms around me.

"Alright and the next place were heading to is the coca cola London eye. You will love this one."

"What do you say we ditch this sucker and go street sight seeing." Nikki whispered in my ear.

"Hell yes!" I laughed.

Once we stopped. I looked up and saw a huge round lighted red circle. It was beautiful. There were blue buildings lit up behind it and boats growing in the water.

"This place is-"

"Hey sorry I have to take a piss." Nikki got up interrupting him. He grabbed my hand and we got off the bus.

"Alright don't be long kids were on a tight schedule." He pointed at his watch.

We walked down towards the coca cola London eye. And I smiled as I walked underneath it. Nikki started snapping pictures of me laughing and giggling.

"Nikki look a fair!" I darted towards where I saw the lights and the ferris wheel.

"Woah Mani slow down." Nikki laughed chasing after me.

"Nikki look at this place. Oh my God we can go on rides, get cotton candy, play games, win prizes." I rambled on and on.

"Hey hey hey come here." He grabbed my hand pulling me towards him. I made a pouty face at Nikki. He sighed, "I'm sorry I sometimes forget that your still really young." He laughed humorously. "You want to go on rides?"

"Yes." I smiled with all teeth showing.

We went on almost all the rides, ate a lot of food, and took a lot of pictures.

"Step right up folks, this game is to test your strength. You have to take the hammer and hit the button as hard as you can. If the meter goes all the way to green you can win this big stuffed bear." The game maker said.

"Oh Nikki look at the bear. It's so cute!" I squealed.

"You want that bear princess?" He looked at me and smiled.

"Yes I do." I leaned on him.

"Woah Nikki Sixx! Wow I'm a big fan!" The game maker shouted.

"Alright princess." Nikki handed the game maker the money and took the hammer. He lifted the hammer behind his head and smashed it down on the button.

"Oooooh sorry Mr. SIxx, better luck next time. Hello sir step right up come try and win your girl a bear." The game maker says while signaling to the next person.

"Thanks, I'm going to win that bear for you sweety." The guy goes to take the hammer from Nikki.

"Fuck off I'm winning that bear for my girl." Nikki yells pulling the hammer away from the guy. He pulls more money out of his pocket and hands it to the game maker.

"Nik it's ok." I laughed nervously placing my hand on my neck while people stared at us.

"Hey ass hole you had your turn already!" The man yelled.

Nikki lifted up the hammer and smashed it again hitting it harder this time. The meter went all the way to green.

"Yay Nikki!" I squealed jumping into his arms and kissing his cheek.

Nikki dropped the hammer and grabbed the bear from the game maker. "Here you go princess." He says handing me the bear. Could this man be any more sweeter.

we leave the fair and catch a cab to head back to the hotel. I open the door and let Nikki inside. I place my bear on the couch and take off my coat and take Nikki's coat to hang it up.

"I only have cranberry juice to drink, you ok with that? I asked Nikki walking to my kitchen.

"Yeah that's fine." He says plopping down on my couch.

I bring him a cup and pour myself a cup as well and sit down across from it.

"Thank you for today I had a really great time Nik. And I love my bear." I smiled and kissed the bear.

"Its no problem doll. I just didn't want to leave things bad between us. I'm sure once we got back to LA you would have probably ignored me."

There was a pause between us for a while. I couldn't read Nikki face, it seemed like he was holding back in wanting to say something to me.

"I need to tell you something." We both said at the same time.

"Oh uh you can go first." He says to me smiling.

"Ok...I um." I put my head down and dry swallowed. "I'm very very sorry for what I did when I was with my friends." I looked back up at him. "It was.. it was very rude of me Nikki. Theres no excuse for my behaviour and you didn't deserve that. I'm very sorry. And I also want to say sorry for my out burst when you came here last time. I hope you can forgive me." I spoke softly.

Nikki got up from where he was sitting and moved the bear so he could sit beside me. He kissed the top of my forehead, "I'll always forgive you." He caressed my cheek. "Mani I." He paused and brushed his hair back. "I really care about you. And you mean the world to me. I want to be your-" "friend!" I inturrupted. He looked startled when I spoke up and said that.

"I want to be your friend too!" I placed my hand on his hand. "I think us going back to hanging out like we did before will be really great. I miss our friendship and the long talks. And I care about you as a friend as well. Your friendship means a lot to me." I smiled and kissed his cheek.

Nikki turned away from me and moved his hand away from mine. He brushed his hair back again. "Ok." He spoke lowly. He then got up, "I'm going to head to my room." He started walking towards my door. I got up and walked behind him. "You don't have to Nik, you can stay here a little longer." I calmly spoke to him.

He just kept walking ignoring me. He opened my door and I grabbed his arm gently to pull him back. I turned him to face me and I cupped his cheeks in my hands and gave him a slow sweet kiss on his lips. He tensed up and wrapped his arms securely around my waist pulling me towards him not wanting to let me go. I pulled away and smiled.

He sighed, "Mani please just-" "tell Rick Nielson I said thank you, for telling you about those beautiful places you took me to. I really enjoyed my self." I caressed his cheek and pulled my body away from him.

He nodded his head then walked out of my room. "You know actually I did thank him." He turns around and looks at me. "I pissed on Rick Nielson's black rubber coat back when we got back to the hotel." He smirks then continues to walk to his room.

I walk back into my room closing the door behind me. I had to do it this way. Nikki shoots up drugs and I can see that he is already addicted to it. That night when Andy brought Nikki to my room. His arms told me the whole story about his lifestyle. And me getting mixed in with that type of life style won't look good. It's not just about my career it's about my well being. I can't take care of a drug addict, I can't have a life with a drug addict, and certainly can't bring home a drug addict. Plus I'm too young for him. I do have feelings for him, but I'm going to have to tuck them away in a dark place. I told him we can be friends but if he calls me up and wants to hang out or do something I'll have to ignore him. My plan is to slowly distance my self from him. I know... I sound like a bitch for saying that. But the reality is who wants to be associated with a junkie?