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#oops this got really long
I’m not trying to attack you, but do you know that proshipper means someone who supports and romanticizes pedophilia, incest, and abuse? Your reblog on that post seems to read that you think antis just hate on people for having ships they don’t like. But it’s completely different than that. Just looking on the proshipper side of Tumblr and the internet and you can see people happily shipping children and adults and making nsfw content of such things.
i appreciate that you're not being outright hostile, but i have to say, that on its own put you above basically every anti i've interacted with.
i understand where antis are coming from, i really do. there are a lot of things on the internet that make me deeply uncomfortable, including the minor/adult ships that you mention. i don't want to anything to do with those kinds of ships and i would be happiest if i never saw them again. which is why i'm proship.
nine times out of ten, if i see that kind of ship brought up on my dash, it's because i was following an anti without realizing it, and they brought it up unprompted and untagged, to talk about how bad it is that they exist. they are the ones putting that kind of content in front of my face and making it harder to avoid.
the thing about people who ship those ships is that they're generally very aware that not everyone wants to see that kind of content, and so they tag it. they make sideblogs to talk about it. they don't go out of their way to shove it in people's faces. that means i, and everyone else who doesn't like it, can avoid it.
what antis want is for it to not exist at all. they want the tags to be purged and blocked, and for anyone who uses those tags to have their accounts deleted. and sure, that might get rid of some of it, but do you know what would happen to the rest? it would stop being tagged. people who don't want to see it wouldn't have the tools to avoid it. this isn't just a hypothetical, that's what's happened any time a fan space has tried to do that.
that's not even getting into the rabbit hole of what should be banned and what shouldn't. obviously any content that depicts real children or real life abuse shouldn't exist and shouldn't be allowed to be posted, but basically any platform that people use already enforces those policies, and there's not much of a slippery slope to go down there. if it involves real living breathing people being abused, it's bad. end of discussion.
but the same can't be said for fiction. ask ten antis for a specific list of all the content that should be banned, and you'll get ten different answers. what about kink? what about roleplay? what about horror and murder and anything that involves fictional characters being graphically tortured? what about people using art to process terrible things that have happened to them? what about art that uses dark themes as a horror element? if you just want to ban anything questionable to anyone, that's the line of thinking that gets any mention of lgbt existence banned. and again, this isn't just a hypothetical, this has happened before, and that's generally where it leads.
i know, from personal experience, that antis do, in fact, send harassment to people just for shipping things they don't like. i've gotten accused of absolutely vile shit for shipping two fictional characters who were both consenting adults. i've seen ship wars turn into moral battlegrounds, over ships that an average person wouldn't bat an eye at.
the thing about "romanticization" is a whole other can of worms. the anti logic goes like this: if someone sees something (even if it's very obviously fictional) in a positive light enough times, they will start thinking it's okay in real life, and go on to hurt real people. the problem with that is that it's just. blatantly untrue.
if it were true every horror movie fan would be a serial killer, every person that studies dark media would be an unhinged psychopath, and everyone who is into ddlg would be a pedophile. but they're not. they just aren't. people have directed movies just as fucked up as the darkest shit on ao3, and are still capable of being normal human beings who know right from wrong in real life.
even if someone is that impressionable, scrubbing away the existence of every piece of questionable content isn't going to solve their problem, because they're still going to be vulnerable to con men, scams, and cultists. the only thing that would actually materially help someone like that is developing their own morals and critical thinking.
children are also more impressionable, and there's a lot of content that's not suitable for them, but that doesn't mean that content shouldn't exist. it just means that they should stick to spaces designed for them (which most social media sites, tumblr included, are not) or, if they're old enough to be responsible for their experience online, they, or a trusted adult in their lives, should block and filter out things that they aren't comfortable with.
which is what everyone on the internet should be doing. it's what i do, and it's made the internet a much more pleasant place to be. and it's why i sometimes worry for antis mental health, especially teenagers, because they're being told it's right and moral to seek out content that makes them uncomfortable and to engage with the people making it. and that's just. really bad. it's not good for the creators that they're harassing obviously, but it's also really bad for them! it's not healthy to seek out things that make you feel bad, and it's a terrible internet safety lesson to teach minors that it's okay for them to seek out and engage with people making adult content.
individual harassment and crusading is never going to succeed at removing dark content from the internet. it just isn't. at best you might get a small percentage of people who create that content to stop sharing it, at worst you're just going to make people stop tagging it, and either way, you're exposing yourself to things that make you feel bad, when you don't have to.
if you want to materially change the type of content you see, you can. the block button is your friend, use it liberally. same with content filtering and tag blocking.
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nerdierholler · 1 month
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Happy Valentine’s Day, lovely person 🌹
Your kind words on the things you reblog mean a lot <3 And I always look forward to reading your writing whenever you share something, there's something about the way you capture daily life moments that's so good. (Also: love love the animal facts you share!)
Here’s a romance-themed OC question for any OC(s) of your choosing (no pressure to answer on Valentine’s day itself, or at all):
What combination of random objects would your OC use to describe their LI? What do they represent? Bonus question: What would their LI use to describe them?
Thank you so so much for all of these wonderful words <3 Sorry this took me so long to answer. The week go away from me but I've finally gotten a good afternoon to answer. I'm gonna answer for Ethan and Adam and it kind of turned into a ficlet about just one object.
It doesn't come as a surprise to Ethan that no matter where he looks around Wayhaven, he finds things that remind him of Adam. What does surprise him are the things that catch his attention. Logic says every gray t-shirt or pair of sunglasses would be the likely culprits but instead today it's passing by an old building made from simply but solidly hand carved stone blocks. From a distance the lines seem perfectly straight, ordered row after ordered row forming an unmovable wall. It's only when one gets close that they can see the undulations in the joints, the individual chisel marks that make each block unique. For how many centuries did people pass their skill down from one to another? It's entirely possible that the man who made the blocks in Wayhaven would have used the same techniques as the man who built the keep that Adam grew up in.
Stone is a strong durable material. It's heavy and difficult for most to move or change, but in the right hands it can be made useful and accessible. The truly talented artists can turn the hard surface into soft pliable flesh, or at least the illusion of it. Stone cannot stop being a stone after all.
As Ethan passes by he reaches out and absently runs the tips of his fingers along the building's wall. It's solid and cool to the touch but he can feel every bump and pit created by years of wear and tear. They are imperfections that make it perfect. Poured concrete and blocks cut with modern saws create smooth surfaces that lack personality. They're missing the mark of their makers. Ethan can only hope that over time, he'll be able to leave his mark on Adam, and if he's very lucky he'll be able to carve out niche just the right size for them to fit together.
More random things under the cut
Other things that randomly make Ethan think of Adam:
Wine: It's because Adam drinks his blood from a wine glass so every time Ethan sees a bottle or pours himself a glass, he can't help but think of Adam and their different potential paths. He tries not to space out too much at the store lol
The smell of leather: Of course the Agency has the best SUVs, leather seats and everything, but really it's the well maintained leather from Adam's car the comes to mind when Ethan smells it. The antique store is dangerous. Heck, even that one nice chair in the waiting room can be a problem.
For Adam:
Sunny breezy days because they remind him of Ethan's personality.
Any classic film star. Nate watches old movies from time to time and there's something about that old Hollywood leading man style that makes him think of Ethan. Should Ethan ever decide to wear a 40s or 50s style suit Adam might just swoon. Now I'm having thoughts about a not-a-date night where the little theater in Wayhaven does a classic movie night and Ethan and Adam go together. Adam just looks like he's in pain the whole time so Ethan thinks he's have a terrible evening when in reality Adam's trying to hold himself together and not think all of *those* thoughts.
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Would you mind explaining the script thing you're reblogging posts about? I don't watch Stranger Things (At least that's what I think its about?) but I'm deeply curious whats going on
sure, i’ll explain as best i can
so i think a few weeks ago, the script to season 4 episode 4 of stranger things (“dear billy”) was made available on a website called 8flix. 8flix is a database of screenplays/teleplays, transcripts, etc. of tv shows and movies. i have heard quite a few people say they were told about this site by their college professors, so it was seemingly a legitimate source to find scripts and such to look at for their educational purposes.
so the script for “dear billy” comes out, and fans noticed a lot of interesting things in the stage directions (?) that kind of give an internal dialogue for one of the characters
here is an example:
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and a lot of people got really excited bc theres stuff in there that points towards will’s feelings for mike (still canon, even without the script) so people got excited at what might be in other episodes that could maybe provide insight into other characters *cough*mike*cough*
now, moving on to the end of last month. the guy who runs 8flix, nick, said he would soon have the script for season 4 episode 8 (“papa”) as well, and a lot of people were really anticipating it because this episode contains a scene in which will basically reveals his feelings for mike while using mike’s girlfriend (and will’s adoptive sister) as a buffer by projecting those feelings onto her. and fans were really excited to see if there was anything hidden in that scene to either expand on will’s feelings or give any hints toward mike’s.
the scripts on this website are available for free, but you can make donations to the site through gofundme, and i’m not sure but i think the people who donated would have the script emailed to them when it was available
that script was supposed to come out on august 1st i think, but it got delayed to the 5th. and then the 5th came, but the script didn’t. and then again on the 6th, nothing. FINALLY on august 7th, the script drops and its pretty much completely normal. we get the scene we’ve been waiting for, along with a few others and people had fun analyzing it. there were some people saying that a few things in the script sounded weird and like fanfiction, but they were pretty much on par with the other stranger things scripts available (“dear billy” and a few from past seasons as well). there were also a few things in them that didn’t quite make sense with the information that we the audience have, so people thought we may have just gotten a clue as to what might be revealed in the future
however, today on twitter the duffer brothers (creators of the show) tweeted this
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and everyone kind of went nuts
all the people who believed they were fake felt vindicated, meanwhile all the people who donated or believed they were legitimate felt scammed and lied to. which. we were all under the impression that this was a legitimate source, and it very well might be. so what happened?
if the duffers are telling the truth and the scripts were completely fake, then what about the other thousands of scripts on the website and the fact that it was used in college classes? are they all fake too? also, if this is true and they are all fake, why has this never been addressed til now? and why didn’t they call the site out by name? or take legal action?
or maybe there was something in the script that spoiled too much and the duffers are doing damage control, ruining someone’s credibility in the process
or maybe nick saw an opportunity to capitalize on this specific episode and only this one is fake, because there was not nearly as much hype around the last script or any other in the past
either way, the whole situation is a mess and i honestly don’t think its quite over yet, especially since the duffers will now be posting script snippets on their own twitter every week
🤷‍♀️
i hope i didn’t miss anything lol
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angstpancake · 1 year
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The Girl with the Silver Eyes
Despite the circumstances of the world she was born into- a dark world on the verge of war, where smaller, more honest souls were unwelcome- Ruby Rose didn't allow her light to be tainted by selfishness or malice. 
She was born into a world that was overrun by monsters, whose master took her mother away from her and robbed her of a bond that every child deserves, that every child needs. She grew up in a cold home, one where her father clocked out of parenthood to wallow in grief, leaving her older sister to step up and take care of her. Eventually that home got a lot brighter and warmer as old wounds healed, but the scar it left behind meant that her father would never look at his daughter the same way again... because Ruby Rose was just like her mom. 
And as everyone told her as such, she wanted to live up to that. She wanted to be the one everyone could count on, she wanted to be the inspiration, to be the hero she read about in books. She wanted to help people- enjoyed the romanticism of it. She thought, as she became fascinated with weapons and wanting to learn to fight grimm, "This is who I am." 
She gets older, and starts to see the problems of the world. It's broken, shattered like the moon that rises every night. But she can fix it. 
"Unfortunately the real world isn't the same as a fairytale."
"Well, that's why we're here. To make it better."
She tries her best. She tries so hard to prove herself. Stops a robbery, catches the eye of a professor from a prestigious academy. The same one her mom went to. Gets moved two years ahead because she has a lot of potential and- apparently- silver eyes, whatever that means. Gets made a team leader because... why? Learns briefly that she doesn't need to prove herself. 
"I'm not trying to show off, I want you to know that I can do this."
"You're. Fine." 
And then gets hit again that there are still expectations of her. 
"That's just it - you've done nothing to earn your position! Back in the forest, you acted like a child, and you've only continued to do so!"
And she's right. 
At Beacon, Ruby receives her first bit of... advice. "If you are not always performing at your absolute best, then what reason do you give others to follow you?" If she's not perfect, then people won't listen. People won't care. So she gets better. Tries her best to be perfect.
She never is. 
She's never asked about why she wants to be a huntress, because apparently, she already knows. Who wants her reason, anyways? She's the leader. She doesn't talk, she listens, she adapts.
---
Her dream is collapsing around her. Her classmates are dying. Beacon is falling. She had time to stop it, but she didn't make it. Her semblance is literally to go fast and she can't even save her own friend. Penny Polendina is dead. But there’s no time. Pyrrha Nikos needs her. Ruby runs up the tower, but gets there just in time to see Cinder Fall strike an arrow in Pyrrha’s heart. 
Not good enough. Again. Not perfect. Not enough. Never enough. Never. 
From her grief, Ruby activates a power she never knew she had. She’s special just like her mom was, according to Qrow. 
“If I’m so special, then I can help… right?” 
Her team left her. Her sister is… a shell of her former self. She wants nothing to do with Ruby. And that's okay. She needs time. She’s just getting used to… things.
"You can do whatever you want. I'm going to lie here."
Weiss is gone. Blake left. She doesn’t know why. Ruby used to be part of a team. Part of something bigger. But now it's just her again. 
Well… not entirely. JNR is still there for her. They were hurt by the Fall too. They want answers. They want to change the team name to RNJR (JNRR?). Ruby feels sick to her stomach. She’s filling in the spot of a teammate that she failed to save. She knows JNR doesn’t blame her but, it’s her fault Pyrrha Nikos is gone. 
Eventually, her team comes back. It’s not the same. They’re back together, but they feel more distant than ever. It feels like they understand her even less than they did before. 
It’s okay, though. She has to put her team first and herself second. 
She finds out it's all been a lie. She finds out their goal has been impossible. Every person that's ever been a guide to her has given up, shattered whatever this is. She has to pick up the pieces. She has no idea how to put them back together. 
She almost gives up. But she doesn’t. She fishes the lamp out of the well, beats the Apathy, and keeps moving forward. 
Keep moving forward. Keep moving forward. Keep moving forward. 
She finds out what having silver eyes means. It means carrying the light of the world, and using it against the grimm... as a weapon. It means being that light at the end of the tunnel. It means being a spark of hope. 
She needs to channel hope and joy to use it. She never talks about how hard that is. 
To be happy without trying.
By some miracle they make it to Atlas. By some miracle Penny Polendina is alive. And despite the shitty situation of politics and Ironwood not entirely being all trusting, everything is okay for a while. 
Ruby's semblance evolves. She can now go so fast, that she breaks apart. She can pick people up when she breaks.
Salem shows up, and Ruby’s mask cracks. Only for a moment. Ironwood snaps. Salem is coming and they need help. 
Despite her trying, nobody comes. Her plan fails. It doesn't work. 
Ruby finds out what happened to her mom. No time to think about that. There's no time to think about what might've happened to Ruby if Tyrian had managed to capture her back in Anima. No time. Penny needs her. Penny wants her to kill her. Ruby can’t think about that either. Because if she thinks about any of that, she knows she’ll break. 
Nothing is working anymore. She isn’t working.
Ambrosius warns them not to fall. 
Ruby falls. 
She finds out what happens to Penny, and Atlas. She faints in front of them. The facade is gone. She’s tired. She’s alone, and despite her team having said that they’re there for her in the past, all they ask is if she’s okay. She’s clearly not, so she doesn’t respond. Do they expect a different answer from her? Do they expect her to bounce back on her own? She supposes her mask has been so good that they do. 
Weiss is seeking comfort from her. She tries. It comes out shallow and cold, and doesn’t seem to be helping. So Ruby stops. Weiss notices. Great job, Ruby. Now you’ve failed your partner. 
How many more people are going to be hurt around her?
Maybe Cinder was right. Maybe it’d be better if she was never born.
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applestruda · 9 months
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Summer, Spring, Autumn, and Winter
(Aka hermit ladys as mucha's four seasons for week 3 of the design challenge)
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lacnunga · 11 months
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Theres something about big booktoker/booktuber shelves that really heebies my jeebies
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brightyistired · 4 months
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Starring Charles Leclerc for the 5th time
I was meant to finish this for halloween but I had exams lmao, RIP the colours tho idk why it looks so different on procreate.
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esperastra · 10 months
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random avalance gifs [12|∞]
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ohmyo · 3 months
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Tipsy Hold Challenge
We were out at the bar with some friends and after a few drinks we came home. I went to the bathroom pretty soon after getting home and when I got out I was handed another beer. I was ready to keep the buzz going and not long after he decided to make us some cocktails.
After my beer and just as I was finishing my cocktail I started to squirm. I was definitely a little drunk now and didn’t realize until now I really needed to pee. I don’t know if the seal is real or not, but if it is I had already broken it when we got back from the bar.
He noticed I was squirming and asked if I needed to use the potty again. I didn’t want to get up since things were starting to get fuzzy and the couch was so comfy. I whined that I didn’t want to pee and he said Good because you don’t get to. You went already, now you’re going to hold it. You’ve only had two drinks since you peed last your brain is just tricking you. You’re going to be good and hold it for me right?
I squirmed so much more hearing him say that. but I nodded. He told me that I should go make is another drink and so I went hoping the urges would pass as he said, it had only been a couple of drinks.
When I got back he had put on the show we had been watching and I got comfy. By the end of my drink I was feeling pretty good and I didn’t even question where the water bottle my boyfriend was handing me came from. I started to get up not thinking anything of it with my brain being so fuzzy, where are you going baby?
Then it hit me, he said I can’t use the bathroom. “I was going to pee, but I, um can I please go use the bathroom now? It’s been four drinks now and um a couple hours. I don’t know how well I’ll be able to hold all drunky”
You were going to the bathroom after I specifically told you no? Oh my! I thought you were going to get us more drinks. I don’t think I should let it slide that you weren’t following my instructions. Being drunk is hardly a good excuse for not listening to one simple request. I think you need to go get yourself two drinks for the next episode.
I was whining and rubbing my legs together as he talked. I wanted to be good so I went and got three drinks as he requested. I was feeling so full and I didn’t know how I would manage two more. I tried to get lost in our show, but my bladder was heavy on my mind. I was squirming while trying to drink my drinks wanting to be good. After a while I managed to get invested and relaxed and “AH”
Everything okay? “I um I think I may have leaked a little bit. It was getting a little hazy and” Oh no baby let me take a look, get up. There was a tiny little spot that you wouldn’t notice if you didn’t know, but embarrassing regardless. With the leak taking me out of the drunk haze I was now very aware of how full my bladder was. Instinctively my hand flew down to help me hold as I was standing there helpless. “please can I go use the bathroom? I’ll do anything please”
Anything? I nodded aggressively not considering how this could get any harder. Hm well that is interesting. Maybe we should play a little game for your bathroom privileges. “a game?” Yes, I think that seems fair. We’ll make it an even game too. Let’s flip a coin, actually that’s boring let’s flip twice. Double heads you get to pee. Mixed we’ll wait 10 minutes and flip again. Double tails, hm, you’ll get on your knees and let me drain my bladder.
I let out a whimper both from being a little turned on by his dirty game and from thinking about the challenges in taking in any more fluid. “Thank you, let me go grab a quarter.” “tails, fuck” “no! again? what are the odds! please let’s flip again that was just a trail run”
The game has rules for a reason, sorry you lost, but not sorry enough. Come on get on your knees, I could really use a release.
“Yes sir” I got down as he pulled down his pants. His stream started fast causing me to moan and grab myself. This was making me need to go even more and I was starting to feel unsure if I would make it.
Mmmm much better thank you baby. Maybe you’ll be more lucky in 10 more minutes. I let out a big whine doing a very obvious potty dance at this point. Every minute felt like forever no matter how I tried to distract myself. The kissing might have helped a little, it did get me a little turned on when he used my mouth.
Tails I let out a little sob. Heads 10 more minutes beautiful. I did not know what to do with myself. I don’t know if I can make it. It has been a few hours, 6 drinks, his pee and I’m desperate.
Why don’t we move to the bedroom. Maybe laying down will be a bit easier for you. As soon as we got into bed the kissing started up again. With how drunk we were things started moving pretty fast and before I knew it all of our clothes were off. I wasn’t thinking about anything other than how much I wanted him inside me, but as soon as he pushed in I felt an immense pressure. Feelings of pleasure and discomfort coursed through my body. We were messy, sloppy, and I’m glad no one was near to hear us. It did not last long, but it felt amazing.
“I can’t believe my bladder didn’t surrender. That was so crazy.” You’ve been so good for me let’s flip again, hopefully you’ll be lucky this time. “Heads!” Heads! Go baby! Just hearing that I get relief made my bladder weaken. I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom feeling the first few drops fall before I could even sit down. Finally.
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autopotion · 2 months
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Something I noticed about this scene during my current replay: The song playing here isn't Alma's theme (which played in the scene immediately prior to the fight with Zalmo), it's the first half of Ovelia's theme (the allegro section in F sharp). We don't learn that the Virgo stone arrived at Orbonne with Ovelia until a little bit later, so the song choice is a nice bit of foreshadowing for how Alma would even know this, i.e. through their friendship.
But now I also like to read this scene in parallel to the one where Ovelia laments her role as a princess.
Ovelia's theme plays in that one as well—specifically the andante second half in B flat. B flat major is an open and bright key, but also a contemplative one; that particular arrangement of Ovelia's theme, with its slower tempo and low woodwind carrying the melody, accentuates the latter trait. Ovelia misses the only friend she's ever had, and one of the rare few that she could be certain had pure intentions towards her. Her nostalgic reminiscence of Alma is tinged with longing for the past and anxiety for the future.
In this scene, on the other hand, where Alma reveals to Ramza that she's seen Virgo at Orbonne, Ovelia's theme in F sharp major is at its brightest and most optimistic. (In classical music, F sharp major is also considered a "triumphant" key.) The music selection is a good choice in general, because it characterizes Alma well—she's humorously teasing her much more solemn brother; she's manipulating the situation so she can stop feeling useless and actually do something, and her gambit works; the higher woodwind brings to mind Alma's chirping flute from her own theme—but when you consider to whom this theme belongs, it implies that Alma isn't just conveying a fact she knows. She's actively reminiscing about Ovelia.
The use of this half of the theme suggests to me that Alma's memories of their friendship are, on their surface, more straightforwardly affectionate. I think that's partially because Alma seems to take more things in stride than Ovelia does, but also, Ovelia isn't Alma's only friend. Tietra's friendship casts a much larger shadow over Alma. For obvious reasons, sure, but as to the framing, the immediate preceding scene had Alma inquire about Tietra by name, and express fresh dismay upon learning that she did not make the same miraculous recovery Delita did, and the music used in that scene was Alma's theme, placing Tietra much closer to Alma's heart (notably, the last scene Alma's theme was used was during Tietra's introduction, at Alma's side). Alma's friendship with Ovelia must seem so uncomplicated compared to what came after, it's almost a relief to get away from all this and revisit the monastery where she grew up.
You could also say, given the arrangement's faster tempo and the surrounding story context, that thoughts of Ovelia are what drive Alma into action. Ramza and Delita have both compared Ovelia to Tietra; it's not a stretch to consider that Alma might be doing the same.
However... as Ovelia is the loneliest character in the game, I don't think you can use her theme, even the lightest part of it, without invoking loneliness. At this point in the story, Alma has been dragged to Lesalia by her brothers, the ones she's not particularly close to, while they wage a war against her childhood friend. That would feel incredibly alienating, I think.
There are so few relationships between women in FFT, and while Alma is central to most of them, she never gets a moment to talk about a really important one. Alma's the invisible connective tissue between Ovelia and Ramza, and Ovelia and Tietra. It's nice to get these little musical hints to remind us of Alma and Ovelia's importance to each other—and also of Alma's thoughts and feelings, elaborations on which are frustratingly few.
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honeyvenommusic · 7 days
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❗️NEWGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSAN-
#glass animals#honestly i wore out dreamland sm my brain took a lonnng break from expecting anything from them?? idk i’m just huh????#like….. when i say wore out#i cannot describe how much i listened to it#i usually have some vague idea even if it’s a ridiculous number#like 52 times in a month for an album or something (has happened)#i cannot recall w this#gonna say bc 2020 & they were Literally the last band i saw live. next morning everyone found out about everything annd lockdown. no joke#so it was big dreamland time when it dropped and revisiting their past albums when i broke out of its spell lmao#(pretty sure before that like january was when i listened to déjà vu 100+ times in a row tho so oop. it was a tough day lol)#anyway seeing this aww man. i really have had this band with me for a long long time. 🥹 i remember hearing gooey on the radio one night#driving home from work late @ night in 2014. the drive was so short i couldn’t be arsed to fish out my ipod & plug it in#sometimes so just popped on a good station i had preset. started the car and heard this *voice* and i was like who????#had to check the station bc it was an alt station and i thought i had it on another one which was fine i was just v confused#it was in the middle of the song & i was immediately anxious to know the name hoping i’d hear it & it wouldn't just flow into the next song#then the dj would pile the names together after x number of songs played bc i was tiired (but woulda stayed in the car ngl). got lucky &#ran inside to find it then yelled at my roommate the next day that she HAD to listen to it during a smoke session after work#(i was right & it blew her miiind)#god. what a fucking time. what a fucking band. idk what the disc horse is surrounding them now since they blew up via tiktok#i’m sure people are v quick to say they’re overrated bc of that but idk & i’m glad i don’t know. they’ll always be this#highly inventive incredible band i stumbled upon for the perfect night drive home after a long long shift#a band that came back from a Horrible accident that should have ended 1 of their lives & somehow didn’t & should have ended them#as a band (like still cannot believe Joe was drumming in 2020 & i saw it with my own eyes like how tf???!?)#a band deserving of all of its successes. glass animals forever
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merrivia · 1 year
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The intricacies of the Captive Prince trilogy often present themselves through lines which are written with a strong narrative certainty (as if the answer is clear)* but are in fact, relatively ambiguous when you stop and think. I have already spoken about this with Nicaise here, but there are more (enough to make a little series, I expect).
Here is another one from King’s Rising:
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What is the “other, darker thought” that Damen believes “at all costs must be avoided”?
More after the jump:
On a basic level, you could simply read this as about Damen's fears and anxieties. Like any of us in a dire, panic-inducing situation, it is imperative to not succumb to those fears or despair and to try and envision a way towards some kind of resolution.
There are also any number of dark thoughts Damen could be having, that he might want to avoid, like how he could technically betray Laurent to get his child back. Like how a King who was detached enough could think he could always make more heirs, and that there was no proof the child was his, and act accordingly.
I think it is clear that it isn't those things, but instead is something so dark it scares him.
Having a child, we know, opens all of Damen’s wounds about family:
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For Damen, to be a father means to consider what it meant to him to be a son. It tears open the grief he had been forced to lock away and makes him realise just how alone he is.
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You can imagine his line of thinking. Damen believes that he failed his father, and so cannot bear that he might fail his son.
And what is one of the worst things a parent might feel they must protect their child from, when you know they won’t be physically tortured or killed? Something he has seen a terrible father do in the form of Guion? The ultimate failure to protect them?
Damen, I believe, is thinking of the potential sexual abuse of his child.
There must have been something Damen saw in Laurent’s eyes as he urgently tried to communicate something he finds hard to articulate, and which would be horrifying to say out loud to a parent. Not to mention, some hours previously he had seen Laurent’s reaction to Jokaste’s news:
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Damen may not have understood the look in Laurent’s eyes then, or the “sheer horror”, but by now he’s had many hours to process what he heard. Laurent is terrified for his son. And Damen knows why, even if he can’t face it directly.
It would fit a pattern to the Regent’s mentality-after all, what happened to Damen himself, was sexual exploitation in making him a bed slave, and similarly in the assassination attempt meted out to Laurent but luckily avoided (to be drugged and raped, before murdered). And lastly, of course, and most seriously, is the Regent’s paedophilia, a topic which Damen has perhaps avoided thinking too much about.
To be clear, we know Damen is sickened by Audin offering up Nicaise, calling it by its name, the rape of a child and preferring to be tortured or killed than do it. In fact, Nicaise’s abuse and Aimeric’s both must appall him. We can see he instinctively feels and knows that the Regent’s abuse of these children are dark, immoral acts, but I think he feels so uncomfortable by it, he doesn’t quite know how to deal with it. That is classic Damen. Think of his awkwardness at the incest rumours Govart mentioned when Laurent speaks to him about. He does think on straightforward lines, shies away from the unthinkable. Layered on top of this also, I think, is him being partially stymied by the acceptance of the Veretian court of something which should be disgusting. All of us see societal injustices every day, and often feel helpless in the face of them due to wider cultural acceptance/turning of a blind eye and I think, in a way, Damen feels the same.
Furthermore, think of when Damen is silent when Paschal says he tended to the Regent’s boys. He is unable to put into words his moral repulsion- and also the whole idea would open up a box of ideological worms. Like the fact that Damen was brought up in a culture which celebrates male virility and as a result, consensually lost his virginity at 13, a kind of early sexual blooming which Pacat intended deliberately for his character. He also would have known slaves start to train at a very young age, and are transferred to the palace from the moment of puberty, though they are older on completion of training. There obviously is a clear distinction- Akielon slave training takes puberty seriously and no bed slave can ‘graduate’ without going through it, and the Regent’s interests are pre-pubescent children. But Damen has also had sex many times with slaves who have been trained (brainwashed) to serve and cannot give consent in any meaningful way. There are probably no Akielon terms, no language exactly, to censure or condemn men like the Regent. Damen does understand consent is important, rape is a crime that would exist in both worlds, and what the Regent is doing is exploitation of the worst kind- but then…isn’t slavery? You can see these difficulties effectively silence Damen, as he wrestles with his morals and feeling of hypocrisy. (Remember that it is a seismic shift within Damen to go from a man with his own retinue of slaves, to a man who knows he will ban slavery on becoming king. It isn't just that he was reduced to a slave himself, and is now empathetic. All of this and more, I think, is ticking away in the back of his mind, as he fights for his survival in terms of the overall plot of the novels).
Veretian culture is no better, and also has no language for child abuse. Laurent himself will talk of what his uncle does as a “fetish” on the one hand, and then say Aimeric “fucked” his uncle, was a “country virgin” who was “hot for it”. Yes, he does this to eviscerate him verbally, but Pacat walks an interesting line here. In the time period the books are vaguely set in (13th century ish?) the general understanding of rape, abuse, consent, age and gender**, mean there wouldn’t have been a particular cultural understanding of abuse as we know it. So Damen and Laurent both hover in a grey area of knowing something is “obscene” and wrong, but being surrounded by cultures that simply have no term or legal basis for thinking it is wrong.
The truth of the matter is though, there is no grey area when it’s your child at risk. In this moment, Damen has started to truly acknowledge the darkest undercurrent in the trilogy. One which will lead him to Laurent’s abuse. And we see Damen’s agony and his rage at what was done to Laurent and at how the society around them (his society in the moment, but Veretian too) lets these things happen without consequences:
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They did indeed hear what he did, and they do not care.
Laurent too, I think, may also have had an epiphany in this moment. Damen lays no blame whatsoever at his door, would murder the Regent on sight for the evil he did to Laurent.
I think this might be the first time that Laurent is shown by an external person that he loves and trusts and respects that what happened to him was not Laurent’s fault. That it’s never a child’s fault. That he could throw an accusation of seduction and willingness at Aimeric, but that was only because that same accusation had been no doubt flung at him. Damen’s love and his righteous moral outrage at least gives him that, when Laurent's own culture won't.
So that’s my reading of the line! If you think I’m wrong, please do let me know, I love hearing alternative interpretations.
*I think this is because Pacat wrote these stories over a long time, and you can see how alive the characters are in her head, and also because I think the fact the stories were originally written in tandem with a public audience on livejournal who could interact with her in real time, and I think had a little more to work with. What’s left for the readers who come later, is what can feel like a puzzle box of a novel. It’s part of what’s wonderful about it- the gift of a writer who assumes we are intelligent and will figure it out- but also perhaps, a tiny bit frustrating. Pacat definitely embraces reader interpretation, and I’m a big believer myself in aspects of reader response theory, but there are moments I do wonder about getting it right, hence posts like these.
** I put gender here because from my cursory research, there were some legal discussions of girls as victims and ages of consent in this time period but not so much boys. If I’m wrong, I’d like to know more about it, so let me know.
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notfreetoday · 6 months
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Hi! I read your post about amae recently and I wondered something in regards to Segasaki and Yoh (MPW).
(Spoiler ep 8!)
Segasaki asks Yoh to wait at the door and greet him when he gets home from work. Though Yoh is confused he recognizes that it's something that would make Segasaki happy. He then takes the initiative to say the greetings in the kitchen, giving his anwer to the request. Is this Yoh recognizing Segasaki's amae?
Hello! Thank you for reading my post 😁 And yes it is! Specifically, asking Yoh to come to the door regardless of what he is doing, is the amae part (plus, the way Segasaki says it). Standard greetings like okaeri and tadaima (see Ep 3's post for more) are what make coming home feel like, well coming home. They're a very common part of everyday life - but Segasaki doesn't say "I'm back". Yoh has said "welcome back" before - but only after Segasaki comes to look for him.
Ep 8 is when Yoh finally recognizes Segasaki's amae - In fact, Yoh specifically uses the word "amae" when he does realize it, though I'm pretty sure it wasn't in the subtitles (I haven't fully watched the subtitled version of EP 8 yet).
Since it'll take me awhile to get to Ep 8, I'll just do this part first, because it looks like the subtitles make it a little harder to tell that he's amae-ing.
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S: その代わり S: 俺が帰ったら通話中だろうが何だろうが S: 玄関まで来い S: んで* おかえりっていえ Y: そんなこと** してほしかったの? S: 悪いかよ?*** Y: 別に悪くない S: Instead of that, S: When I come back, whether you're in the middle of a call or doing whatever else S: Come to the front door S: and then*, say "welcome back" Y: Is that something... you've wanted me to do?** S: (You mean) I can't (want that)?*** Y: No... there's nothing wrong (with that)...
*Segasaki uses a shortened, informal version of "and then" here, and together with his muttering, and his unwillingness to look at Yoh, he sounds like he really doesn't want to have to admit this (though, he still sticks to his rough speech 🤣).
**Yoh's phrasing here makes it sound like he's genuinely surprised that Segasaki wants this, because, like I said earlier, it really is something very simple that most people would take for granted.
***悪いかよ - Literally "Is it wrong?", with an ending particle that indicates this line is a challenge, except for the fact that he says it so tentatively.
Y: 本当よく分かんないやつ* Y: そんなことでうれしいの? Y: おかえり Y: お仕事 お疲れ様** Y: 玄関じゃないけど Y: Really... such a difficult to understand guy* Y: Would something like that... really make him happy? Y: Welcome back Y: You've worked hard at the office** Y: Well, it's not at the door though
*Yoh uses the informal word やつ (yatsu) to refer to Segasaki here, which he's never used before. Depending on the context, it can be considered rude, though is often used casually amongst male friends. In this context here, it's used to express affection mixed with mild exasperation.
**お疲れ様 (otsukaresama) - standard greeting; full version "otsukaresama desu/deshita". Literally means "you're tired/you've worked hard" and is an acknowledgement of the effort someone has put in for the day, more than it is some sort of praise or commendation. For eg, Yoh says this to his lousy editor in Ep 5 😅
That said, the way Yoh says it here is very sweet, adding the honorific prefix "O" to the word "shigoto (work/job)", and then tacking on the polite version of this phrase, "otsukaresama". Remember when I talked about the different definitions of sunao in the amae post as well? I mostly talked about Yoh not being able to be honest/straightforward with his own feelings, but the other definition of sunao describes an attitude/behaviour towards other people. That definition is usually translated along the lines of "cooperative/obedient/deferential" (note that these words sometimes carry a negative connotation in English, which is not so in this particular usage of the word in Japanese here). This is Yoh being the very picture of sunao here. It's adorable and sweet and it's no wonder Segasaki jumps right on him 😂
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Thank you for your question! I'm really happy to know that amae is starting to be a little more understood, since it is quite a common phenomenon in many JBLs :))
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ask-mark-stuff · 1 month
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I once left 23+ asks in this box and I haven’t seen them all
Sorry kids! Me and Mark are a little busy with our lessons and activities sometimes, so we don't really get to answer everything quickly!
Yeah..we love every ask though! :}
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bleue-flora · 2 months
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@cleofast300 hope it’s ok if I respond to your tags from my essay (linked here) and lol no need to apologize for writing lengthy paragraphs as far as I am concerned. I certainly can’t judge and am always happy for more discussion. :)
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On that note, you are very right it is more so about what c!Tommy himself believes. His perception is not that of the audience or at least it really shouldn’t be that of the audience, while as you said he can believe he is the hero and justified that does not make him one. And the difference between audience perception and character perspective is what I kinda talked about in the essay that came out before this one (linked here). Where I try to highlight how it is less about what the characters think about themselves and others and more about what we think of them, which can be derived from a variety of factors... anyways straying off topic.
While I would say he is certainly not self aware and that does play a role in his character, I’m not sure I would say it is his biggest flaw. For one, it is not the cause of all of his conflicts, though I supposed you could argue that is it the underlying problem for which the rest of his flaws spur from. But I’m not so sure. he is certainly not the only character without self awareness. Most importantly though, I do not think his character arc revolves around self awareness. Because he doesn’t over come that in the end. He becomes aware that c!Dream has feelings and emotions, but he doesn’t recognize what he did to hurt those feelings. He doesn’t gain awareness for the part he played. There is no remorse. As you said, the ‘sorry’ was about the nuke not for how he hurt c!Dream. For self awareness to be his biggest flaw and the one he over comes, he’d actually have to gain awareness for how he hurt people. How he hurt c!Tubbo, how he hurt c!Dream, how he hurt c!Punz… etc. He’d have to gain awareness for the part he played in the mess. Instead, we have a ‘sorry’ that is about the future. About realizing they wanted the same future all along and that it’s too late for that.
You are right of course, it was about him learning to see the world in its complexity and not as the black and white - hero and villain- one he wanted it to be. Though he is hardly unique in that viewpoint, so I’m not sure it is a strictly child perspective as much as it is just a naive and deluded one. Plenty of other characters share this perspective of the world and it is less about age but actually about the stages of psychological development (but thats a discussion for a different time). In fact, the main theme of the dsmp as a whole is about realizing that the world is complex, that people have different perspectives and things aren’t always cut and dry like we want it to be. It is easier to believe you are the hero and everyone who hurts you is the villain. But I will say, although c!Wilbur exasperated this ideal, he did not create it. The disc wars were already a thing. C!Tommy had that belief long before c!Wilbur arrived, he just used it to manipulate him, but that mindset was already there. That idea that he was the hero of the story was already set. So yes, c!Wilbur used him to be his little soldier pinning him up against c!Dream. Yes, he was abused and manipulated, but that only makes him a victim not the victim.
But just because in the end he realized that c!Dream was not one-dimensional, doesn’t mean he becomes self aware. It broke the cycle of violence, yes, because he realized they wanted the same things and the violence this whole time was actually useless. But that doesn’t imply that he feels remorse, realizes he hurt people, that he plans on being better and changing his behavior, that he no longer sees himself as innocent, that he is aware of the things he caused, that he no longer thinks he’s justified, that he realizes how Wilbur used him. It only showed that he realized that people are complex, with feelings and emotions and motivations, who are flawed, who can be hurt just like him. His views on people changed, but honestly we don’t even know how far that ratified his world view. Whether it just changed his perception of c!Dream or others as well…we just don’t know…
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dangoarts · 7 months
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unfortunately for everyone especially myself i am still thinking about minecraft story mode
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