#opposite action

[futilechildhooddream]

so for opposite-action therapy the recommendation is to do the opposite of the emotion, like where depression wants you to isolate so it can be helpful to go out and see people

for all-or-nothing behavior, the opposite action is finding the middle ground

want to avoid the problem or pull an all nighter to address it? start the work and set it up for future you to have an easier time, and get some sleep

i find a similar thing works for “shoulds”. The opposite of should is action:

i should do laundry -> i want to do laundry (or have it done with) so I’ll do the first step of this action (getting up/gathering dirty clothes/setting a timer/sitting in the laundry room/insert action)

i should be studying -> i am resting (or set a timer til time to study/plan a meeting time for study group/open the study materials/set a five minute timer and see what you can learn in that time/text a friend what you’re learning about in class and explain it to them)

opposite action can be really helpful

[missjesselsgh0st]

I've been reading a really interesting fic, lots of sweetness and heavy on the angst, really enjoying a new take on the protagonists. 

I commented, after a sad chapter that the character breaks my heart and that I hope an abusive character gets their comeuppance.  I got a reply from someone who was not the author,  telling me to pay attention to what the author was conveying before I commented. I don't know what I said that was wrong, but feeling upset and self conscious about it.  

I get very anxious and depression wants me to isolate.  I deleted the comment and replied that I was just trying to say that The fic made me emotional.

I can't shake this feeling and want to just delete everything and never look at or engage with anyone again. 

[imgrowingoutmyhair]

Whenever i consider getting all of my tattoos removed i just get another one instead

[the-weerdo]

DBT in Action: Opposite Action Skill

Hi, I'm a therapist who mainly practices DBT and ACT based therapy, and I use DBT skills myself (along with individual therapy) to continue my recovery from complex PTSD, among other things. Sometimes, I have really skillful moments that I am very proud of and I think they would be good examples for others who may be wondering, "I've heard of that skill, but what does it actually look like to use it in real life?". So I am going to experiment with documenting those moments in a series I'll call "DBT in Action."

The DBT Opposite Action skill falls under the Emotion Regulation skills umbrella. It is meant to be used when our emotions are urging us to behave in ways that: 1) don't fit the facts of the present moment (either the emotion itself, or its intensity or duration), or 2) DO fit the facts, but aren't effective to act on in the moment.

The basic idea is that you act ALL THE WAY opposite to what your emotion is telling you to do. If it's urging you to hide, you approach; if it's urging you to apologize, you stand your ground, etc.

In the example I am about to share, the emotion I had was SHAME.

For those of you who grew up constantly shamed and criticized for your audacity to have a body that was not perfectly under control at all times, you may relate. These types of experiences growing up, combined with past experiences of gynecologists that were quite insensitive and made me feel even more ashamed of my body, make it nerve-wracking for me to get OB/GYN care. I also have moved around so it was not possible for me to have a consistent gynecologist I could build trust with.

It had been 5 years since I last got checked, and I finally got myself to schedule an exam and pap smear with someone new yesterday. I'd been feeling nervous that it would be another bad experience, and THEN, I woke up to starting my period the morning of the appointment. I didn't know what to do--should I cancel? could they even do an exam while I was on my period? could i tolerate the idea of getting this exam while actively bleeding on the provider?

Opposite Action #1: I had the urge to cancel, but it felt so important for me to make the appointment, that I told myself I was going to show up, even if they turned me away and couldn't do the exam. I decided it was not effective to let my shame keep me from following through on the appointment.

So I showed up, checked in, went to the room with the nurse. Then came the big opposite action moment--

Opposite Action #2: Even though I felt ashamed and embarrassed and self-conscious about the whole exam process and the fact that I was bleeding, I acted ALL THE WAY opposite. I talked to the nurse and gynecologist about my situation (and other shame-inducing medical concerns) directly, at the start, in a very matter-of-fact, no-big-deal tone of voice...

...And wouldn't you know it--my provider was FANTASTIC.

Me: "I started my period today, is that still okay for the exam?"

Her: "Oh yeah, the technology is way better now than it used to be. They mostly run it by DNA now."

Me: "I have a menstrual cup in. Should I go take that out before I undress?"

Her: "Yes, please do. Here's the bathroom. Do you need a bag for it? You can sit right here when you are done, it's fine if you're bleeding."

Me: "I wanted to keep my period underwear on until it was time for the exam."

Her: "No problem, we'll just turn around while you take them off. Let us know when you are ready."

She put me entirely at ease, and lo and behold, she ALSO treated it as the matter-of-fact, no big deal situation that it was! She didn't make any comments about my bleeding during the exam, and I don't know if this was intentional, but any swabs or devices that had blood on them were taken away before I could even see them. It was just a totally respectful, comfortable experience--and my mind got to learn a good lesson! That my shame DID NOT fit the facts! And I had a better experience because of my skillfulness.

[coping-skills]

Opposite Action skill:

Every emotion has an action urge, opposite action is changing the emotion by acting opposite to its action urge

When to use

-when your emotions do not fit the facts

-when acting on your emotions is not effective

[liquidstar]

look this site really is awful for ppl with OCD so i just wanna reassure anyone that you are not Tainted Forever for consuming a piece of media with questionable content. the fact that youre able to recognize it speaks to your critical thinking skills, which is good, certain depictions should be critiqued. but you dont need to ruminate on it to the point where you begin to feel guilty for simply witnessing gross or creepy writing choices. you dont have to vindicate yourself to the fictional tumblr discourser inside your head, saying that youre now a bad person bc you watched the wrong anime. your actual response to it still matters of course, but thats that and this is this. just seeing it is neutral, you didnt commit a thought crime. its literally fine.

IF YOU ARE USING THIS POST TO ONLY FURTHER YOUR STUPID PEDANTIC BLACK-AND-WHITE DISCOURSE TO GET A "GOCHA" OVER THE OTHER SIDE YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. DON'T USE OUR DISORDER TO VINDICATE YOUR BEHAVIOR. THOUGHT CRIMES ARENT REAL BUT ACTIONS STILL MATTER. PEOPLE WITH OCD ARE CAPABLE OF THINKING CRITICALLY ABOUT OUR ACTIONS AND RESPONSES, EVEN WITH INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS AND RUMINATIONS. TREATING US AS IF WE CANNOT, ONLY TO FORCE US TO USE YOUR STRINGENT UNNUANCED DISCOURSE OPINIONS ABOUT "PURITY CULTURE" (TRIGGERING TO THOSE WITH OCD) AS THE ONLY REASONABLE GUIDE DOES MORE TO EXACERBATE OUR OBSESSIONS THAN HELP US. YOU ARE THE ISSUE AS WELL. YOU ARE ALSO THE TUMBLR DISCOURSER INSIDE OUR HEADS. DO NOT USE US FOR YOUR DISCOURSE. WE ARE PEOPLE, NOT HYPOTHETICALS TO USE TO EXPLAIN IF YOUR FROZEN INCEST FANFICTION IS OKAY OR NOT. TREATING US AS IF WE CANNOT AUTONOMOUSLY HAVE OUR OWN OPINIONS ON WHEN MEDIA IS TANGIBLY HARMFUL IS ABLEIST. FORCING US TO ABIDE BY YOUR IN-GROUP'S SET OF UNEQUIVOCAL MORALS IS ABLEIST. ACTING AS THOUGH THE ONLY SOLUTION FOR US IS MINDLESS MEDIA CONSUMPTION IN WHICH "EVERY DEPICTION OF XYZ, NO MATTER HOW POORLY DONE OR EXPLOITATIVE, IS ALWAYS OKAY AND IF YOU DISAGREE YOURE ACTUALLY AN EVIL 'ANTI'" IS ABLEIST. THOSE ARE THE SAME BLACK-AND-WHITE MORALS THAT SEND US INTO OBSESSIVE SPIKES, BUT FLIPPED. A SET OF MORALS IN WHICH QUESTIONING THE IMPACT OF A PIECE OF WORK MAKES YOU AN "EVIL CONSERVATIVE PURITAN "ANTI"" DOES NOT HELP MORAL OCD.

YOU ARE THE DAMN TUMBLR DISCOUERSERS MAKING THIS SHIT WORSE FOR US! YOURE THE EXACT SAME BUT WITH FLIPPED BUZZWORDS! YOU'RE MISSING THE WHOLE DAMN POINT!

[aphrodita-from-foam]

I put so much of my worth in other people’s hands

Always searching for someone new to give me the validation of living

“tell me why I'm worth all this pain”

I just want to be enough for myself.

I want to validate my own existence. I'm so tired of repeated behaviors.

[projectcatzo]

Monkey Man is a movie about--and I mean this in the most literal way possible--how the kindness and wisdom of trans people can alter the trajectory of not only your life but also society

[sugarcoatednightshade]

thinking about how Humans Are Space Orcs stories always talk about how indestructible humans are, our endurance, our ability to withstand common poisons, etc. and thats all well and good, its really fun to read, but it gets repetitive after a while because we aren't all like that.

And that got me thinking about why this trope is so common in the first place, and the conclusion I came to is actually kind of obvious if you think about it. Not everyone is allowed to go into space. This is true now, with the number of physical restrictions placed on astronauts (including height limits), but I imagine it's just as strict in some imaginary future where humans are first coming into contact with alien species. Because in that case there will definitely be military personnel alongside any possible diplomatic parties.

And I imagine that all interactions aliens have ever had up until this point have been with trained personnel. Even basic military troops conform to this standard, to some degree. So aliens meet us and they're shocked and horrified to discover that we have no obvious weaknesses, we're all either crazy smart or crazy strong (still always a little crazy, academia and war will do that to you), and not only that but we like, literally all the same height so there's no way to tell any of us apart.

And Humans Are Death Worlders stories spread throughout the galaxy. Years or decades or centuries of interspecies suspicion and hostilities preventing any alien from setting foot/claw/limb/appendage/etc. on Earth until slowly more beings are allowed to come through. And not just diplomats who keep to government buildings, but tourists. Exchange students. Temporary visitors granted permission to go wherever they please, so they go out in search of 'real terran culture' and what do they find?

Humans with innate heart defects that prevent them from drinking caffeine. Humans with chronic pain and chronic fatigue who lack the boundless endurance humans are supposedly famous for. Humans too tall or too short or too fat to be allowed into space. Humans who are so scared of the world they need to take pills just to function. Humans with IBS who can't stand spicy foods, capsaicin really is poison to them. Lactose intolerance and celiac disease, my god all the autoimmune disorders out there, humans who struggle to function because their own bodies fight them. Humans who bruise easily and take too long to heal. Humans who sustained one too many concussions and now struggle to talk and read and write. Humans who've had strokes. Humans who were born unable to talk or hear or speak, and humans who through some accident lost that ability later.

Aliens visit Earth, and do you know what they find? Humanity, in all its wholeness.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

love how Solar Opposites started out as a sitcom about two aliens who can't stand each other, stuck with their teenage clones (whom they also can't stand) & a toddler antichrist (whom they view as a sort of self-sufficient free-roaming hamster?) on a stupid planet they can't stand

and 4 seasons later it's a sitcom about a family of genderqueer aliens, headed by a gay couple in a happy & horny open marriage (with a graphic off-screen sex life, despite their canonical lack of genitalia?) teaching themselves to be okay parents to their 3 kids (whose Sci-Fi Antics now slightly-less-frequently revolve around wreaking havoc on human bystanders, and slightly-more-frequently revolve around alien-clone-sibling-bonding*), to the point that the central plot point becomes "We need to provide our toddler antichrist with a stable home environment."

(also the grumpy alien husband is too busy ingratiating his family with their suburban neighbors to even remember whom or what he dislikes. what is this show)

[hedgehog-moss]

French TV journalist having a hard time trying to get woman in the street to comment on Macron's latest speech yesterday

Protesters organised casserolades (aka banging on pots and pans) in front of city halls across the country at 8pm, when Macron was speaking, to symbolically drown out his voice. Later that evening, Macron was filmed singing a song with some 'random people' in a street in Paris, trying to show he can go out and meet people and have fun because protesters don't exist. The people he was singing with (members of a choir, some of whom are 'alt-right-leaning') were using a folk song app created by far-right activists that was criticised a few months ago for hosting a Spanish fascist anthem & Third Reich military marches.

The government's response was that the President "couldn't know the background of the people he met that night." Maybe if he wants to avoid being associated with the far-right (that's a big if, I know), Macron should keep in mind that with the kinds of strategies and positioning his government has adopted lately, people in the street who welcome him with open arms and are proud to be filmed with him have a higher than average likelihood of supporting fascism.

[im-still-watching-anime]

sasuke: what the fuck is wrong with you

naruto: look if you’re trying to tell me you don’t like me i’d prefer you just say it

sasuke: i’m obsessed with you actually you mean everything to me

sasuke: but seriously what the fuck is wrong with you

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Perhaps even,,, pink LaughingStock,,,,? 👀👀👀

ough....yeab....

[borderlinereminders]

Opposite Action Coping Skill

This is when we do the opposite of what we feel our emotions are telling us to do. Recognize your emotional response to a situation and the action you instinctively wish to take as a reaction to it, and instead do whatever is the opposite of that action. This is a skill that can be used when the emotion doesn’t fit the facts. For example, if you’re feeling afraid because you’re feeling unsafe in a situation (like for example, people are yelling or you’re approaching a dark alley) and your reaction is to leave, then by all means - do what is best for your safety and leave.

Some examples:

Anger

May cause us to lash out, storm off, etc.

The opposite of this may be: being kind, showing concern, or walking away briefly to take a break and come back to this when we feel more calm.

Sadness

May cause us to withdraw and isolate ourselves.

The opposite of this may be going out of our way to engage with our friends and reaching out.

Frustration

May make us want to give up.

The opposite of this may be pushing through (though taking a break if needed).

What are some pros to using this skill?

Using this skill can be empowering and give us a sense of control. It can also help with managing the emotion.

What are the cons to using this skill?

It takes time, and some trial and error to see results. It also requires the ability to identify your emotions. Sometimes we just feel an urge and aren’t sure what emotion is causing this. This skill may require learning how to identify emotions first.

Overall, this can be a very useful skill to learn. It can be effective in helping us learn not to act on emotional urges.

[elvisqueso]

Character Parallels: Diving off of an absurd height immediately after introduction.

[the-magpie-archives]

Oddly specific, mundane things that are aligned with the 15 fears:

The Eye- Making deep eye contact with a stranger on the platform as the train pulls away.

The Hunt- Wanting something so badly that you can't stay still anymore.

The Buried- Trying to get your phone back when it falls between your bed and the wall

The Vast- Being a child and hearing about how unknowably large Chuthulu is for the first time.

The Flesh- Looking in the mirror and realising your body's changed since the last time you really looked.

The Lonely- Realising you're the only customer at the supermarket.

The Corruption- When you see one ant but once you've focused on it you can see the rest of them.

The End- Holding an antique object and knowing that it's original owner is long dead.

The Desolation- That gut wrenching feeling when you've lost something you know you're not going to be able to get back.

The Stranger- Looking into the eyes of a loved one and not being able to see anything you know in there.

The Spiral- When you say something loud enough to be heard and absolutely nobody processes it or responds.

The Dark- Straining your eyes to try and see something at the end of an unlit corridor that you swear you could almost see.

The Slaughter- Ripping up a letter with your full name and address on and throwing it in the bin.

The Extinction- Being the last player left alive in a survival game and realising that in another life that could happen for real.

The Web- That burning, guilty feeling after you're manipulated into doing something you didn't want to do.