Tumgik
#or at least find the actual organisation that will pay me for being gay in russia
notimeforlaugh · 10 months
Text
well lgbt in Russia is officially an extremist organization, so if anyone cares suddenly all my friends and I are in a gang or whatever
the law becomes relevant january 10 2024, and then for just wearing a pin with a 6 colored rainbow you could go to jail for 12 years at least
or smt like that
russians keep taking Ls
46 notes · View notes
levyfiles · 3 years
Note
Noting that you wrote a twt thread supporting Watcher for giving lgbt youth just a little tiny fraction of their revenue for reluctantly splashing there shit w/ rainbow aesthetics and they even used a line from Shane acting so weird around a person for saying they're bisexual. Like are you kidding me? Even you didn't find that funny! how can you feel good about yourself? are you that braindead about your perfect Steven?
Ohhhkay. To start off with, congratulations, your ask was the least abusive one lambasting me on this topic so yours is the one I've decided to give a platform to.
So, as someone who has been present with Watcher since their launch, I can attest that I and many others were actively campaigning for pride merch the moment we knew we could make suggestions. When we heard the merch shoot was coming, I and many other fans were thrilled they were finally unveiling a line that was specifically like a love letter to us. We wanted to enjoy the thing we liked while also enjoying the fact that a company loved its supporters right back and knew to express that every other day of the year. Queerness is deeply interwoven in so much of their content, the people they have on as guests, and they, I have said this in my tweet that offended you so, they have queer employees who they are paying well to whom they, unlike most companies, ensure have appropriate holidays and full benefits! And then of course, this calls into question why so many of us are adamant about not forcing people to out themselves in defense of engaging in queer culture and media until such a time that we find it inconvenient?
Let's put the rest under a read more because I got a lot to say.
Secondly, the entire premise of the discourse over rainbow capitalism and its harms is that the companies that are guilty of it are not only conglomerates who with one hand peddle the gay aesthetic during June but with the other turn around and donate to organisations and lobbyists who actively seek to harm and destory the lives of queer people all over the world. Watcher is a company we watched being built from the ground up and watched push through the most devastating year for small businesses because they took care of their employees. During an AMA on their discord, at some point, Katie confessed that she thought she would be out of a job last April but they powered through this and even offered to pay Matt Real for work he was rendered incapable of doing due to the pandemic. This is not even a hugely established company with loads of investors. They have done what they can to keep afloat while also pressing the largest efforts toward making their audience feel included and accepted. It is also a big deal that they work with a supplier for their merch that is not only on board to make the best quality of the Pride merch they can but willing to match their donation. That's a whole 30% of proceeds (some of which go to Gianthugs anyway).
Thirdly, the saying. I would challenge you to actually go back through my old asks and posts about Shane's reaction to Tonya and find where I didn't even find Shane's saying funny. I think the way he said it and the timing of his delivery is in keeping with how deeply he wants his audience to know where he stands and it should also tell you a lot more about how absolutely terrible Shane is at weighing in on discourse next to his cofounders; if I can take us back to some older discourse about Shane's very obvious silence during the anti-asian hate campaign as well as BLM.
Lastly, the Steven thing. Just. Really? I hesitate to engage over this particular brand of hate because it lacks conviction. Moreover the fact that you took a broad leap from your transgression with Shane to try to pin that on Steven is so transparent to me. People will write endless disclaimers about why they're so weird about Steven simply because he's religious and religious trauma is a thing and believe me when I say that I know how that feels as a queer mixed person who grew up firmly esconced in the brainwashing of fundamentalist christianity but then again, I find that more of the prejorative weight of historical harm practiced by the christian church was perpetrated by white colonizers and somehow and in someway people take Shane at face value. It's almost as if the weight of a community's actions can only be demonstrably forgiven with the future actions of their descendents.
Earlier today I saw someone ask one of the people pushing the "Steven is homophobic" campaign that if they really think Steven hates queer people wouldn't that make Ryan and Shane guilty by association and the person actually replied "no because grown adults are allowed to have different opinions than other grown adults even if they're friends with them" which?????? That is the exact reason the twitter teens got so mad at Steven lol I'm reeling. Guys, just do better. Actively interact with nuance please. Step away and afford yourself the luxury of participating in conversations with other queer people that isn't black and white and for god's sake, if your last defense to people disagreeing with you is to cite the way they enjoy fandom as your thinkpiece, maybe you're not really fighting in defense of marginilised people; maybe you want to center yourself in a campaign that makes allowances for you to bully and harrass people.
38 notes · View notes
fictropes · 4 years
Text
oh boy i sure did write many words in 2020
Hi! I am copying people due to i want to.  This is a lil (well... 63) round up of all the fics I wrote this year! Cos i’m very evil @ myself and writing fic and think i’m either not doing enough, or not doing it good enough, so i wanna full list of what I actually did so I can see my own accomplishments and can maybe... clap 4 myself for once. And honestly writing has helped MASSIVELY with my depression so.. that’s a bonus. 
ALSO. this is a big huge thankyou to everyone! I only joined here + started writing in august and you’ve all been so so nice and welcoming and supportive  <333 ;_; and I know they say write for yourself... but honestly peoples comments and excitement about my stuff has just been really, really lovely and I would never have written this much without all of you cheering me on<3. 
so here is a list of everything i’ve written, organised by length and everything, so if you find yourself bored over the holidays... have a lil browse. (Sorry if u are on mobile and this doesn’t show as a read more) 
Chaptered:
Can we try again? series (M) Complete - 35k  - “Yeah, Phil. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Dan answers, softer than he’d wanted because he already knows what he’s about to do next.(or Dan doesn't turn up in 2009 and bumps into Phil 11 years later at a youtube convention 2. I like cupcakes, especially the gay variety (M) Complete - 30k - Firstly, Dan was 29. How was that a mature student?Secondly, his actual book was on the university fucking syllabus.(or the one in which Dan tries university again in a desperate attempt to prolong his procrastination, and his lecturer Phil is apparently something of a fan) 3. 7 Letters series (M) Complete - 9k - Your penpal can be the person you live with, actually. 4. There's Beans in Here (T) Complete - 2k - Phil has his wisdom teeth removed; Phil says many questionable things. 5. Roadtrip (E) Complete - 8k - “Exactly. I am right, as always.”“As always.” Dan agrees.Series 6. night shift, please (E) Wip - 27k I PROMISE THIS WILL COME BACK IN 2021 - Ten years and he’ll never get over how early he has to get up sometimes. In all honesty he prefers the night shift. 7. Still Not Calling it Fate (M) Wip - 14k - It’s become a bit of a thing, a bit of a thing that everyone he crosses paths with takes the piss out of him for 8. when i met you, a blue rush began (M) Complete - 5k - They end up in a small restaurant overlooking the sea, everything here is so blue. The sky, the sea, Phil’s eyes, the shirt he’s wearing buttoned up all the way to the top. 9. Luggage Tags (E) Complete - 2.5k - Just because it looks like your suitcase, it doesn't necessarily mean that it is. 10. Demon in the sack (E) Complete - 2.5k - Dan’s leg jiggles beneath his desk, knee hitting the table as he tries to force himself to hang up and ring the number he was supposed to ring— he doesn’t, he can’t. Long ( for me) oneshots (3k+) 11. Electronics and the Phil's who break them (M) Complete - 9k - The first time’s an accident, a proper accident— a Phil forgot how to hold his cup and now he’s watching his coffee seep into his keyboard type accident. 12. A Letter of Specifics (T) Complete - 4k - You'll know it's your soulmate because no one else on earth could be doing what they're doing. 13. The Benefits of A Weak Floor (M) Complete - 4k - He quite literally falls through Dan’s ceiling. 14. 10:35 on a Thursday (E) Complete -  3.7k - He’s tapping his pen against the paper, acting as though he isn’t asking Phil to take a sex quiz at 10:35am on a Thursday morning. 15. 2009, catboys (T) Complete - 3.2k - “You have your own ears, can’t have four.”“Why?” 16. Wrong Room (T) Complete - 3k - “Congratulations!’’ And he was expecting to hear a cry, or at least his mother telling him to be quiet because a certain baby was sleeping. Instead he heard the deep clear of a throat, a rustling of sheets. 2k-3k oneshots 17. Dinner with a stranger (T) Complete - 2.5k - @amazingphl hi! second year of doing this, sooo if anyone has nowhere to go for Christmas dinner I am once again offering..my flat (and by extension me) ;oSeries 18. Easy Lover (M) Complete - 2.4k - ''Yeah. We're always fine.'' It was always fine. It was always easy, despite always behind hard. 19. Cold Season (M) Complete - 2k - Dan is ill, insatiable and another word beginning with I. 1k-2k oneshots 20. Morose men on rooftops (T) Complete - 1.9k - “Dunno, maybe chatting up morose men on roofs is my thing.” He laughs, and it’s a nice noise. 21. Love with tongues of fire (T) Complete - 1.7k - So when Dan waltzed into the room, declaring his hunger Phil thought nothing of it. Just another night for another takeaway. 22. Your Rocks are my Rocks (T) Complete - 1.7k - Phil wants a new rock for Norman, Dan wants a peaceful life. 23. Joint Content (M) Complete - 1.6k - It started of a as a joke— a Joint Content joke. 24. 24/7 Fantasies (M) Complete - 1.5k - He thinks about Dan 24/7, constantly in two separate fantasies 25. A Conversation in Multiple Hallways (T) Complete - 1.5k - You're still here then? 26. Sharing Space (T) Complete - 1.5k - It's 2010 and dan has had a day. 27. The Obvious (T) Complete - 1.5k - "Can I use that?” He doesn’t wait for an answer, already scrawling it beneath the only three words he currently has— I love you. 28. I'm Thinking of Ending Things (T) Complete - 1.5k - Dan hears half a conversation, jumps to one whole conclusion. 29. Love Language of the Tactile (T) Complete - 1.4k - “I’m just— that’s a hypothetical.” Dan leans in this time, takes the touches that Phil always so freely gives away. “Can’t kiss in secret rooms if I leave.” 30. Don't Let the Self-Doubt Ruin You (T) Complete - 1.3k - “I’m here.” “Yeah, you’re here.” 31. Conflict Resolution (T) Complete - 1.3k - Following recent events we’ve decided it best we take a combative approach to your current workplace issues, we have booked you into a conflict resolution class this Thursday afternoon - we will not be paying you to attend. 32. when it comes to love (i want a slow hand) (E) Complete - 1.2k - And there it is, the refusal of anything in return. This is just for Dan and it always will be. 33. You're Still The one (T) Complete - 1.1k - “What’re you thinking about?” “You.” 34. Teach Me, Dad. (T) Complete - 1k - "Do you think I could be the next Mozart?” 35. The Logistics of a Clone (M) Complete - 1k - “I don’t think that’s a clone, though, like maybe more of a Doppelgänger.” Dan doesn’t know why they’re delving so deep into this, why he’s so damn bothered about being right. “It’s just literally you.” 36. All's fair in Love and Monopoly (T) Complete - 1k - Phil does not play by the rules, Dan lets him win anyway. Under 1k oneshots 37. Hide out in your heart (E)  Complete - 0.9k - The second time Dan comes to visit it’s different. 38. Oh, there you are. (G) Complete - 0.9k - So after all this, after everything, he doesn’t think anything of it when someone else slips into his dms. 39. The Boy has Attitude (T) Complete - 0.9k - “You didn’t tell me you looked like this.”“Like what?”“This!” Phil’s waving a physical copy of the magazine in his face— so that’s where he’d been. 40. Hairties (and how not to use them) (M) Complete - 0.8k - “Why would you do that? Let us settle in, nice and slow and— gently does it.” 41. The Second Apartment. (T) Complete - 0.8k - It’s a stop-gap apartment, a we’re going to get our forever home after this. 42. Japan, 2019. (G) Complete - 0.8k - NO summary, just an obviously I was going to write this after phil's post 43. Doting Man (T) Complete - 0.7k - They’re both drunk, Phil more so— definitely more so.Series 44.  Imposter (T) Complete - 0.7k - Among us is.. a bastard. 45. Ratemyprofessors.com (M) Complete - 0.7k - ‘Maybe if that Phil bloke from the English dep he’s always staring at fucked him he’d stop being so uptight’ 46. Failed Attempts (T) Complete - 0.7k - Dan enlists the help of Phil for his latest Instagram. 47. Bonus Prize (M) Complete - 0.7k - Phil Trash Number One 48. Feels like home (G) Complete - 0.7k - Home is where the Phil is. 49. We can make Forever work (T) Complete - 0.7k - It’s a moment of realising forever may sound too much to people, but we’ll get through everything together— we don’t have any other choice. 50. Scene in the Kitchen (T) Complete - 0.7k - New place 51. 4'11 (T) Complete - 0.6k - Dan is baby 52. Pillow Imprints (T) Complete - 0.6k - Dan is a menace, and Phil loves him anyway. 53. Parachute Jacket (T) Complete - 0.5k - Dan thinks Phil is obsessed with them Those few times I thougt I was goddamn Ri**ard S*ken 54. Home (G) Complete - 0.7k - It’s their forever home, because their actual forever lives inside of it. 55. secrets spoken in empty rooms (T) Complete - 1k - So he wants to be the same, but he wants Dan more. 56. Separately Together  (T) Complete - 0.9k - Phil’s soft hands and even softer words. It gets harder to leave. Gets to the point where Dan turns off an alarm just so he misses the train. 57. It's not hard to fall (T) Complete - 0.7k - Still a little bit of your words I long to hear Some more Epistolary (apart from 7 letters)  58. A Play in One Act (T) Complete - 1.1k - [Manchester Piccadilly train-station, midday, October 19th, 2009.] 59. R/AITA (T) Complete - 0.8k - AM I THE ASSHOLE FOR MAKING MY BOYFRIEND BE A WORM?Series 60. Lonely Hearts (T) Complete - 1.8k - I will not say you were crying on the tube (out of politeness) 61. Conversations of the Lazy Kind (T) Complete - 1k - eggs? wot? Smells like eggs
50 notes · View notes
kiarcheo · 4 years
Text
StepBother   
'I’d say that we have to thank Mary for the suggestion.’ ‘I’d rather die.’ The disgust on Kat’s face makes Cathy chuckle.
AKA
The one where Kat and Mary have an interesting relationship and Parrward get together.
A/N: Mary’s portrait in this fic is positive and totally ignores her doings as a queen but if it bothers you, you can skip to the Parrward part starting with Kat waiting at the cinema: Mary is mentioned but I think you can understand what is going on without having read the first part of the fic.
With that out of the way…I’m not sure exactly what this is or where it came from, but it started with 500 words of Mary&Kat banter (actually I know where that part came from, from Hidden Stories and their dynamic in the last chapter) and then ofc Parrward had to get involved and it got out of hand and now I have almost 4000 words??
This is 1/4 Mary&Kat and 3/4 Parrward, I guess. Also can read on Ao3 as usual.
When you’re a 16th-century queen living in the 21st century, things are bound to be confusing. From language to social conventions, the changes are endless, without even talking about the technological progress. Motion sensor technology, from bells ringing when you step into a shop to doors opening themselves, still catches them by surprise, especially when things start to move or turn off and on without any prompt.
Home is an oasis of familiarity and certainty, if they don’t dwell on why they and their children had been brought back, how, or even simpler questions like why they came back aged as they had. The order from older to younger goes: Catalina, Anna, Jane, Anne, Cathy, Kat. They had tried to figure it out, of course. Was it according to their original date of birth? No, because then Anne would have been the second oldest one. Was it according to their age when they died? No, because Jane would have been younger than Anne and Cathy. Their age at the time of their marriage to Henry? Catalina and Anna, at 24 and 25, had been the youngest besides Kat, so that made no sense either. The length of their reign? Pitiful as most of them had been, Cathy and Anne would have followed Catalina. The kids at least had come back in the order of their birth: Mary is still the oldest, followed by Elizabeth, Edward, and then toddler Mae. Everyone came back younger, with the notable exceptions of Katherine and Mae who returned at the same age they were when they died. Perhaps it was possible to make them younger but not older than they had ever been in their first lives?
Just small questions to ignore, right? But once they decided that their return was the work of an inscrutable higher power and they learnt how to use modern appliances, with their shared past, knowledge and experiences, home became an oasis of familiarity and certainty in a new, confusing world.
Except for one thing. Which was actually one of most baffling matters the queens had encountered… and that they kept seeing, right in the house they shared: the relationship between Katherine Howard and Mary Tudor.
According to history books, that should have been Katherine’s most fraught relationship: unlike the first three queens, she didn’t have any issue with her predecessors or successor, Elizabeth and Edward had fond memories of her, and she had never even met little Mae. And if age had been a sore point between them – for Mary at least, who had been displeased at her father marrying someone several years younger than herself – them returning pretty much at the same age, seemed a recipe for disaster.
With time, most animosity among the queens had been squelched and scores had been settled, and the idea of them all living together had been put forward. It took a while, but they finally managed to find a suitable house to everyone’s liking. Still, being cordial during an occasional meeting was different than living together. So the queens had expected, if not explosive confrontations, at least tense interactions between the youngest queen and the oldest ‘kid’. But they never came. Instead, as they all moved in together, they were witnesses to a dynamic that they struggled to fully understand, but that seemed to work well for the two girls.
****
‘I think we can all agree-’
‘That I’m the ten among you threes?’ Kat interrupts her.
Mary glares at her. ‘That my father was an asshole.’
‘That too.’
Catherine raises an eyebrow at what she hears as she enters the room. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘I didn’t really mean that, you know.’
‘Just curious. Trust me, not going to defend him.’ Nobody in their house would, and she thought Kat would know it.
‘No, I mean, you’re not a three. You’re totally a ten too.’
Catalina chuckles. ‘Aren’t you charming today?’
****
‘You’re lucky you got your mom’s looks.’
Cathy wonders if they realise she is the kitchen and if she should make her presence known. She doesn’t particularly wish to witness their flirting either.
‘Actually, my father was quite handsome in his youth.’
‘Wouldn’t know, he was like thrice my age and twice my size when I met him.’
‘Same.’ It slips out. Not really. She had been 31 when they got married and he had been twenty years her senior.  But Cathy understands the sentiment.
Mary looks from Kat to Cathy, apparently not at all put out by her overhearing them. ‘Fair enough.’
****
‘No offence to Anne but divorcing your mother should have been a sign that something was wrong with him.’
Hearing her name, Anne starts to pay attention as Kat continues. ‘I would have never done it.’
‘What?’ Mary echoes Anne’s thoughts.
‘If I had been married to Catalina, I would have never divorced her. RIP Henry but I’m different.’
‘I don’t know what’s more disturbing. That you find my mom attractive or that you would have been my stepmother.’
Kat chuckles. ‘I am your stepmother.’
‘Stepbother, that’s what you are.’
****
‘Ehi, Mary, do you call your mom mami?’
‘No?’
‘Can I?’
Mary gives a saccharine smile to Jane, who is looking between her and Kat confused. ‘Jane, we’re going to need one less seat at the table today. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some murdering to do.’
***
‘Mary, Mary,’ Anna is ready to point out to Kat that there is no way Mary can hear her calling if she is whispering her name like that, when Kat yells. ‘MARY!’
‘You bellowed?
‘See? Call three times and she will appear; you don’t even need a mirror.’
‘I’m going to kill you.’
‘Not really helping your case.’
Anna chuckles. She doesn’t understand their relationship, but it certainly makes for some entertaining times.
***
The queens are in the living room when they hear the front door opening and the distinctive voices of Mary and Kat getting closer.
‘I said that objectively speaking.’
‘And then I’m going to tell her that you objectively think she is hot.’
‘Don’t you dare.’
‘Don’t be ashamed, Mary!’ Kat enters the living room, eyes on her phone. ‘Embrace the gay!’
She gets the wind knocked out of her by an unexpected hug. ‘What?’ Mary squeezes her more. ‘I’m doing as you said.’
‘Kat, are you gay?’
Everyone stops at Jane’s question.
‘Am I gay?’ Kat laughs. ‘I’m ecstatic!’
Mary can’t help to notice that Cathy is the only one chuckling at Kat’s quote.
 So. Yes. If asked about Kat and Mary’s relationship, the consensus is that they seem to live to bother each other. Mary lording being older over Kat and Kat constantly reminding Mary that she was and still is her stepmother as her marriage to Henry had never been annulled. Mary threatening bodily harm and Kat mentioning how much she likes Catalina. It’s just harmless flirting and Catalina finds it amusing as much as Mary finds it annoying. She knows perfectly well that Kat hits on her mom just to rile her up…and it works every single time.
 ‘You know, for once, you could actually focus your attention on the Catherine you actually like…’ Mary says once her mother leaves the room, eyes not leaving the sketchbook on her lap.
‘What? I do like your mom. I don’t know what you mean.’
‘Sure you don’t.’ Mary rolls her eyes. ‘You should have been Catherine with a C.’
‘What? Why?’ Kat asks genuinely confused.
‘Then your name would have fit you better.’  She raises the sketchbook to show it to her. A blank page with a single word in capital letters: C(h)oward. ‘Since you’re a coward.’
 Yet, for two people who loudly proclaim all the time that they cannot stand each other and whose contact name for the other is ‘stepbother’ (Mary claiming Kat had stolen it from her but it made no sense, Kat retorting that daughter and bother sound similar enough to make sense), they sure spend a lot of time together of their own volition.
That’s how Kat finds herself waiting outside the cinema for Mary. Who is late. Despite being the one who had wanted to see the movie – Kat still doesn’t know which one, but her and Mary have a similar enough taste that she usually trusts her choices – and had organised the outing. She looks at her phone again to check if Mary had replied to her text. Nothing. She doesn’t know why she even bothered to try since the phone didn’t buzz. She is slipping it back in her pocket when the awaited sound stops her. She opens the chat: Mary sent her the code of her ticket, telling her to start heading in. Seeing no reason for both to risk missing the movie, she does, but not before writing back that Mary better get some snacks when she arrives to make up for her lateness.  
She easily finds her assigned seat. She sits down and looks at the ticket stub again to double check. Portrait of a lady on fire. She contemplates whether looking it up online. She has never heard of it, but the way the girl at the till had smiled at her while handing her the ticket made her feel like she is missing something.
‘Look who decided to show u-’ she greets the person who just sat down next to her. ‘Cathy?’
‘Kat? Hi!’ Cathy sounds as surprised as she is to see her there. ‘I didn’t know Mary had invited you too.’
‘Mary?’
‘Yeah, she told me to go ahead and get in without waiting for her. Why?’
Kat shakes her head lightly. ‘She told me the same.’ She takes her phone out, quickly opening their chat. Her fingers hover over the screen. Should she stick with the evergreen ‘I’m going to kill you’ (she should really make a shortcut for it) or be more creative and get into details of how she is going to make her pay?
‘I feel slightly out of place.’
Kat looks at Cathy, who just juts her chin and tilts her head slightly. ‘Take a look around yourself.’ She adds very quietly.
Lots of small groups of elderly women. Or elderly couples. Kat doesn’t turn around to check the rows behind her, but from what she can see they are the youngest people in the room. Perhaps that’s the usual audience for a mid-week afternoon show?
‘It’s so nice to see some new faces!’ Apparently they are not the only ones who took notice. A lady is smiling at them, holding out a pamphlet. ‘In case you’re interested in more.’
Cathy takes it, thanking her. It’s a list of foreign movies with the details of the screenings.
‘How is your French?’
Kat takes a moment to think about it. ‘Rusty?’
She has never been as good as Anne, for obvious reasons. They had retained their language skills from the past which left her (and Jane) at disadvantage compared to the others. With five languages each, Cathy and Catalina are the polyglot queens, with the three older kids on par with them. It is actually a point of pride for the queens. They might be lacking some common general knowledge, but their household can speak English, French, German, Spanish, Italian and Greek, even if some slightly antiquate forms of them at times.
Kat knows that she will never be the most well-versed in languages in their group, but it doesn’t mean she is not going to take advantage of her multi-lingual family and learn as much as she can. But lately she might have been neglecting French a bit to focus on learning Spanish. Admittedly it had started as a way to annoy Mary by talking with Catalina in what Mary considered ‘their own private language’, despite most people at the house speaking it. But then it became the gateway for a better relationship with the first queen, replacing the cordial but distant one they had before.
Anne and Jane were family and family had been everything in the past, despite how crappy she had been treated by her own blood. She still values it above most things, so it gave her an instant connection to them, despite past experiences…or perhaps thanks to them. Surprise, surprise, their extended family had not been much nicer to her cousins than they had been to her, so there was bonding over terrible families. Anna was a friendly face from the past and they almost seamlessly picked up from where they had left. And Cathy…they had an immediate and quick connection. At first it was because they were the youngest queens in this new life and also the ones who could relate the most to each other about their past one. They had to put up with the same Henry. Anna’s married experience had been short before moving onto a cordial if not friendly relationship as the ‘King’s sister’ (and besides, Kat knew she still harboured guilty feelings about her divorce opening the way for Kat’s marriage and consequent death, so she tried to avoid the topic). Jane had supposedly been ‘the only one he truly loved’. And Catalina and Anne had known a younger Henry who was, apparently, quite a different man from the one the last two queens had been saddled with.
All in all, Catalina had been the queen Kat had struggled the most to connect with, and learning Spanish helped. But not in this occasion, with a French movie about to start.
‘It should have subtitles, right?’
 The credits end. The lights come up. They remain seated. Most of the audience does, almost if shell-shocked by the movie that just ended. Cathy nudges Kat’s elbow lightly, offering a tissue. Usually Kat would make a joke about her being such a mom (she has taken care of Mae enough to know that you can never be overprepared with a toddler), but she wordlessly accepts it. They both dry their eyes.
‘I think,’ Kat croaks out, ‘this is the best movie I’ve ever seen.’
She is not an expert cinephile, it goes without saying; none of them are. But they did look for lists of iconic movies and watched them. While their usual excuse of having grown up without a tv works relatively well when they need to explain their lack of pop culture knowledge, nobody likes to feel always left out. They still have movie family nights, usually with a ‘must-watch’ title, but by now everyone just watches what they like. In Kat’s case, she tends to stick to ‘light’ movies. She doesn’t care if it’s fantasy, comedy, action, animated…she just doesn’t want to be scared or cry too much. But sometimes the crying is worth it.
‘Yeah.’ Cathy agrees. It seems like she has been left speechless too.
Both lost in their thoughts, no words are exchanged until they are out of the cinema.
‘Want to go and eat something?’
‘What about Mae?’
Cathy smiles at Kat’s thoughtfulness. ‘Everyone but us is home.’ Perks of living all together. Built-in babysitter service basically 24/7 in case of need. ‘And Jane said that even if the others go out, she will stay.’
As they sit at a Chinese restaurant nearby, the conversation returns to the movie.
‘I mean, I wished the ending was different, you know? Happy. With them together. But…the more I think, the more I understand it, I think.’ Kat says, twirling her noodles with her fork, using chopsticks a skill she has yet to master properly. ‘I get it. Marriage being unescapable. Men intruding in women’s spaces and lives ruining everything…’
‘Oh?’
‘Not like that.’ She realises what Cathy thought she was implying. ‘Just…the happiest period of my life had been the first months as Anna’s maid of honour. Just being around her and the other ladies. And then of course Henry had to ruin everything…’ Kat shakes her head as to dispel the thought. ‘What about you?’
‘I think I still need sometime to fully process the movie. But I’d say that we have to thank Mary for the suggestion.’
‘I’d rather die.’ The disgust on Kat’s face makes Cathy chuckle. ‘How did that happen, anyway?’ She has never seen Mary and Cathy spend any significant amount of time together.
‘She texted me, something about wanting to taste,’ Kat starts choking, ‘which I assume was meant to be test, the waters. We’re not as close as the others, so I thought spending time together could be good…You okay?’
Kat, still coughing, waves her concern away. ‘Just a bit too spicy.’
‘Yeah, you look flushed.’
‘I’ll pop to the loo and splash some water on my face,’ she rasps out, standing up.
Cathy follows her with her eyes, making sure that she is okay, until she disappears behind the toilet door. Then she grabs the menu, wanting to check the desserts. Her eyes fall onto the noodles section and…Kat’s dish has no red chili pepper next to it.
A vibration distracts her from her thoughts. She immediately checks her phone in case the call is about Mae, before realising it comes from Kat’s phone, ‘Stepbother’ flashing on the screen. The vibrating stops. Then starts again, this time shorter ones. Instinctively she looks at it.
A notification pops up.
* Don’t be a K(h)oward like usual *
Others follow in quick succession.
* Tell her *
* You’re not going to like the next step of my plan *
* I will get you two together *
* So you stop hitting on my mom *
* Not because I want you to be happy *
* Ofc *
 ‘So…going back to Mary,’ Cathy starts once Kat is back. ‘Do you think she did it on purpose?’
Kat looks intently at the menu, shrugging.
‘Because that would be…going to some length.’ She continues. ‘Organising. Getting two separate tickets but for seats next to each other. Paying for them…Any idea why?’
Kat sighs. ‘Any chance you’re letting this go?’
‘Any chance Mary is going to let this go?’
Kat puts her elbows on the table, closed fists against her forehead. A groan is all Cathy gets.
‘I’m sure it’s not that bad.’
Kat rubs her eyes in frustration. Cathy is starting to think she won’t get a reply when the younger girl straightens up in her chair.
She takes a visibly deep breath and rushes out ‘She has been pushing me to ask you out for…’ she hesitates, ‘some time.’
‘How long if she had decided to take matters in her hands?’ She is teasing but also genuinely curious.
‘Not like she is known for her patience.’ Kat grumbles. Looking at Cathy she can see that she is not convinced, but she is thankful that she seems to let it go. And smiling. ‘You’re not upset?’
‘Why don’t we continue this outside?’ Cathy nods towards the exit. ‘But no,’ she adds before Kat could misinterpret it. ‘I’m not upset.’
As they go towards the till to pay, Cathy tries to order her thoughts. That was not what she had been expecting from today. Kat was interested in her. It’s not like she had never thought about it. They get along very well. Besides her godmother, Kat is the queen she feels the closest too. She is great with Mae. And she is undeniably beautiful.  
‘What are thinking?’
Cathy has not even realised they had left the restaurant. ‘Wait! I didn’t pay!’ She makes to go back inside but Kat grabs her arm.
‘I took care of it.’ Kat shrugs. ‘You were clearly out of it and it’s my fault.’ She jams her hands in her pockets, eyes downcast.
‘None of that,’ she bumps against her hip, trying to get a smile. ‘I was just surprised.’
Kat peeks at her, cautiously hopeful.  
‘I didn’t think you liked me. As more than a friend.’ Cathy specifies before Kat can say anything in that regard. ‘Well, maybe sometimes? But I sort of convinced myself that it was wishful thinking.’
Kat stops walking at that. ‘What?’ She hurries to catch up with Cathy.
‘I thought you and Mary…’
‘Eww. She is like…was going to say sister but that would make it really weird to hit on her mom.’
‘That’s the other thing.’
‘You didn’t really think I fancied Catalina, did you? I mean, she is a beautiful woman, but it has always been about annoying Mary.’
‘I really don’t get your relationship.’
Kat just shrugs. She is used to hearing that.
‘Hey! I know you!’ a loud voice interrupts them. ‘This a step-daughter too?’ The man takes a step closer to Kat.
Cathy doesn’t know what possesses her, but she puts her arm around Kat’s waist. ‘Actually I’m her girlfriend and we’re on a date.’
‘Is that so?’ The man looks between them.
‘Yes.’ Kat puts her arm around Cathy’s shoulder and Cathy snuggles into her side.
‘Freaks.’
‘What?’ Cathy tries to take step forward.
‘Don’t.’ Kat grasps her closer to her, keeping her still as the man walks away. ‘It’s not that.’
‘Then what was that?’ It clearly looked like that to Cathy.
‘So…sometimes when me and Mary are out, guys hit on us. Best way to shake them off? Even better than saying we’re girlfriends, since some dudes takes it as an invitation to ask for a threesome? Saying that I’m her stepmother. It tends to weird them out or at least throw them off long enough that we can get away.’
Cathy thinks about it. Mary and Kat are quite close in age and they look like it, so she can see what it would surprise people. ‘Wait…did he think…’
‘That you are Mary’s mom? That or that we’re in some role-play stuff, I guess. That’s why I stopped you from trying to beat him up.’ Kat chuckles at the idea of Cathy, who is even shorter than her, although not by much, squaring up with that guy. ‘It was not because of the gay thing. Also from the smell, he was not exactly sober. I didn’t want you to get hurt.’
‘Awww.’ Cathy coos softly. ‘Still can’t believe you and Mary do that.’
‘Don’t say it like that. You make it sound like something weird.’ Kat steps away, dropping her arm from around Cathy’s shoulder. They both immediately regret the move. ‘Besides it’s the truth. I didn’t lie.’
‘Wouldn’t want to make a liar out of you now, then.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Maybe we could make this a real date? We went to movie. We had dinner…’
‘Yes!’ Kat shouts enthusiastically. ‘Wait! No!’
‘What??’
‘We’re not going to have a first date organised by Mary.’ Cathy relaxes at Kat’s explanation. ‘She’s going to be unsufferable. What about tomorrow? Oh, wait. Creative writing class. Uhm…when do you prefer? I’m sure we could find someone to look after Mae.’
‘What about Wednesday?’
‘Oh, Pasta day at The Tucan! If you’d like it, I mean.’
‘It’s a date.’
They stare at each other smiling until a couple of tipsy girls walk into them.
‘Home?’
‘Yeah.’
They walk side by side, hands brushing against each other. Kat glances down after her hand knocks against Cathy’s harder than usual. ‘Can I…’ she extends her fingers, now lightly tickling the back of Cathy’s hand.
Cathy turns her hand over and takes Kat’s without saying a word. As they keep walking, she twists her hand a bit and entwines their fingers.
‘What?’ Cathy asks with a smile after hearing Kat giggling.
‘It’s just unreal.’ Kat looks at her, beaming with a giddy expression plastered on her face.
‘What? That we watched a breath-taking movie, had dinner together, agreed on a date and we’re now going back home together and all because we were set up by our shared stepdaughter?’
‘I was more thinking about holding your hand and you liking me back, but that too.’
29 notes · View notes
firesign23 · 4 years
Text
Definitely not Six Sentence Sunday
Tumblr media
Now that the fic exchange is winding down, I’m attempting to clear some prompts from my inbox. Below is a bit from the Date Meme prompt that is... not working out as it should, so will likely be scrapped and started again. Or I’ll just wait for @agirlnamedkeith​ to finish hers. 🤣 But for “Roommates + Poly Relationship”, six paragraphs. Whatever, let me have this, exchange organisation broke my brain.
The whole thing was actually Addam’s fault. 
It was Addam who overheard Brienne telling Sansa how the apartment she’d rented had been a scam. Who strolled over lackadaisical as you’d please and took the third chair, turning it around to straddle it backwards and speaking like they were old friends instead of passing acquaintances from chem labs the year before. 
It was Addam who sweet-talked into coming to see the spare room at his place--“Look,” he’d said, somehow charming, “my roommate owns the house. Four rooms, rent is cheap because--well, the short version is that it’s spending money and he probably wouldn’t notice if you failed to pay one month. He usually VRBOs the other two rooms, but he’s been talking about getting a third roommate in and I get you might not want to split with a couple of guys, but at least come and see it. If you decide not to stay, there’s no harm done.”  (“Absolutely not,” said Jaime, upon opening the door to find Brienne and Addam on the other side. Of course he said it to the back of her head, because the minute she saw his smug face she was turning on her heel to walk away.) 
It was Addam who caught her arm and glared at Jaime in the same moment, a confusing expression she later learnt meant stop being a grade A jackass and listen to me. (He had plenty of opportunities to use that particular face, in general and in the coming weeks.)
It was Addam who convinced them both to give it a fortnight--“Let her find another place,” was his argument, and somehow the quiet charm worked on them both. (She figured she was just a sucker for pretty men with kind streaks, but couldn’t quite figure out why it worked on Jaime until she walked into the living room several weeks past the two week mark and two heads bolted upright on the couch, hair in complete disarray, and she added gay to her unerringly terrible taste in men.)
It was Addam who started flirting with her. (“No it wasn’t,” Jaime argued later, prideful as always. “You were just too stubborn to see it.”)
39 notes · View notes
Note
Good omen prompt for ineffable husbands. "Elevator AU prompt in which one person doesn't think the other speaks English so talks loudly about him in front of him"
Language mix-ups are up there in my top five of favourite tropes, probably, so thank you so much for the prompt!
Human AU! Props to Anthony J. Crowley for actually having a passable human name in a world full of Aziraphales and Beelzebubs. I mean, really.
For those of you wondering, Aziraphale is he’s discussing buying a book (of course).
———
In Anthony J. Crowley’s defence, it is before sunrise, and he is not the kind of person whose brain functions before sunrise.
He’d need to have been up for at least an hour (two if at all possible) before his cognitive abilities reboot themselves and align with the world around him, agree to process information in that way brains usually should. As it stands that day, however, he has only been up for fifteen minutes, he has barely had time to brush his teeth, and he was trying to string together words in response to whatever Bee was spouting over the phone. It was something along the lines of – You should be here in ten minutes, Crowley, and it’s a half an hour’s drive, one time I ask something of you – so it is no wonder his brain was in a bit of an overdrive.
And now that you know all of his excuses, disregard them, because there are no possible excuses to assuming that Ezra Fell is not British.
The man is the most British person to have ever graced the streets of London with his presence. He looks like he had come straight out of an old Victorian painting, in that suit, in the tartan bowtie and with his hair styled like that. In fact, Ezra Fell, if someone were to ask him, would proudly state that no one had ever taken him for anything other than British.
Until that morning.
(Also in Crowley’s defence – although we have established that any excuses he might have are insignificant – he has never seen this man before in his life. By all accounts he should have – there’s something about living in the same building that tends to make people bump into each other with stubborn regularity – but he has not.)
“Bee, have you ever seen me drive?” Crowley is saying, rubbing his eyes under the lenses of his sunglasses, leaning against the elevator wall as it creeps down from the top floor. “I will be there in ten, don’t test me, I’ll–“
The elevator dings open just one floor down, and he snarls at the doors as they slide open. That snarl does not last long, because the man who walks in is... well.
“Я уверен, мы сможем договориться,” he is saying. “Да, я буду вас ждать. Спасибо. До встречи.”
His phone is propped up with his shoulder, and his hands are full of books, and he is wearing the most ridiculous outfit Crowley has ever seen on a person outside an interactive history museum.
“Bee,” he says, interrupting their rant about his lack of organisation skills, “I’m currently looking at the most gorgeous man I have ever seen, so could you shut up for a blessed second?”
Bee, because they may be an asshole but they’re also a friend, do.
For about a second and a half, actually, so that Crowley never again gets to say that they’ve never done anything for him.
Then:
“And you’re telling me that in front of him? Never knew you had the balls, Crowley.”
“Oh, shush,” Crowley scoffs. “Nah, I’m not– he’s, like, Russian or something. Was that Russian? I think that was Russian.” The last time he heard someone speak Russian was back when he knew that girl – Anastasia, was it? Something royal – so he thinks he can be forgiven for having trouble identifying it at twenty to six in the goddamn morning. “Anyways, he’s fucking beautiful. What the Hell. That’s unfair.”
“Jesus fuck,” Bee mutters under their breath. Crowley bares his teeth and hopes they can perceive it through the phone lines.
“Seriously,” he insists. “He could punch me and I would pay him, Bee. Actual literal human money.”
“So you’re a masochist, what else is new,” Bee fires back, and Crowley thinks that he’s going to be late on purpose now, just for that. “Stop being gay and come pick me up, or I’ll punch you instead, and I guarantee you won’t enjoy it.”
“I’ll stop being gay when you stop being a bitch baby,” Crowley says. Then, to clarify: “Which is never. Because that’s, that’s what you are. A bitch baby. Obviously.”
“Obviously,” Bee echoes, sarcastically, but right now that’s suddenly the least of Crowley’s concerns, because the gorgeous man who is no longer on the phone but still trying to balance it precariously between his shoulder and his ear is suddenly giggling under his breath. Which, damn if this isn’t the cutest laugh Crowley has ever heard, but also that’s not the fucking point.
“Actually you know what, Bee, I’ll have to call you back,” he says, and hangs up before they can voice their complaints. Then, looking back at the man: “You speak English, don’t you.”
“In my defence, you did make quite an assumption there,” the man says. His voice is nice, kind of posh and proper, with the most polished British accent Crowley’s ever heard. “Russian – oh my. That’s a new one.”
“Well, I, you, it’s kind of your fault, actually,” Crowley stammers, suddenly glad that he has his shades on, although perfectly aware that they won’t do much to hide the flush rising to his cheeks. “Who speaks Russian? In the middle of London? I mean, I mean, come on!”
“Quite a lot of people, dear,” the man says, and he lets the term of endearment slip so easily that Crowley suddenly wants to fall straight through the elevator floor. “Russian is one of the most spoken languages in the world – and, really, this is London. You’ll find ones far more exotic.”
He is not wrong, but Crowley refuses to acknowledge it, because then he would have to admit to making the most mortifying mistake of his life because it is too early in the morning and he is an idiot.
The elevator dings again, and spits them out into the lobby.
The man hands Crowley his books, and Crowley takes them, largely because his brain is currently operating on autopilot. He steps out of the elevator for much the same reason, blinking wildly at the lazy brushstroke of pink barely visible above the horizon through the glass doors of the building.
“Oh, it’s the morning already!” the man chirps. “Wonderful. Sunrises are beautiful. Although hardly as beautiful as you. Cheers!”
He takes the books back from Crowley, but not before slipping a piece of paper into the top pocket of his jacket, his lips curling into a sly grin. He steps out through the door into the cool of morning mist, and Crowley realises, belatedly, that he actually needs to go one floor down to the parking garage.
He also realises, his brain being jump-started into paying attention, that he doesn’t give a flying fuck.
He just got the phone number of the most gorgeous man in the whole world. Driving can wait.
(Bee can’t, but that’s what they get for being an asshole. In Crowley’s defence.)
1K notes · View notes
ruoyeming · 4 years
Text
My Top Ten Anime, a chaotic list
This was so hecking difficult, I’m gonna have to do some ‘honourable mentions’ for ones I can’t bring myself to leave out. This list is based entirely on my personal feelings, not an objective assessment of what are logically the best anime. There also may be mild spoilers at points because I can’t control myself. Doing this in quarantine cause I looove ranting about things I like.
10) Attack On Titan
This was the first anime I ever watched, and it blew my mind a bit tbh. The music is iconic, and the animation is great as well. It might have been a bit harrowing for my first experience with anime, but I absolutely loved the story. It’s set in a world where titans (man eating giants) have driven the dregs of humanity to live within giant stone walls. There’s a group of humans trying to research titans, kill them, and protect humanity, and the main character decides to join them after a titan breaks through one of the walls and his mother is eaten. It’s one of those where you think you know everything and suddenly the world gets turned upside down by a new discovery. All the puzzle pieces start fitting together the longer you watch, and you find out that everything going on is much bigger than what it originally seemed (government conspiracy time lads). The plot twists are unpredictable (for me at least) and devastating, and the emotion this series evokes is awesome - you can FEEL the sheer desperation of the characters, their rage and despair as they fight again and again against a seemingly unending enemy. Despite almost every battle being a suicide mission and despite too many losses, the characters keep going out of the human need to survive and protect. 
10/10 for brutality and gore, but also theme of hope.
9) Naruto
A founding father of anime. Surprisingly not one of the first I watched, in fact it took me a few years to start. It’s set in a feudal Japan where ninjas are the defenders and servers of the people, and different villages have different ninja styles. Naruto is a young boy with a dangerous spirit sealed inside him which has caused him to be shunned by society (even though it’s not his fault??), and he wants to become a ninja. First off I’m a sucker for the Naruto archetype: dumbass, cocky, obnoxious, but kind and loyal too. Years of solitude and ostracisation as a child mean that Naruto desperately wants people to acknowledge him, and he intends to become the Hokage to prove himself. There’s a huge range of characters and villains, all with cool ninjutsus and different philosophies. Friendship, power, and determination are some of the main themes and it makes me so proud to see my son *COUGH* Naruto progressing and learning from his mistakes. It IS a long boi though and I haven’t even finished Shippuden yet, but I think Naruto captures the essence of shounen anime and is a great underdog story. Manga is lit too. 
10/10 for cool battles and great characters.
8) Psycho Pass
One of the earlier anime I watched, and it became an instant favourite for the way it makes you question morality. It’s set in a kinda dystopian future Japan, where a technology called the Sibyl System checks people’s mental state and determines their ‘crime coefficient’ - how likely they are to commit a crime. The main character is a young woman who joins the police and begins to realise that blindly following this system is perhaps not the best way to go about things. For example, they have special guns that automatically kill people whose crime coefficients are over a certain level, but she soon proves that you can easily lower someone’s coefficient by talking them down and negotiating instead of killing them off immediately. It’s got great drama, great government conspiracy, compelling villains, and some really badass characters. It pushes the question of what is right or wrong, and how far technology should go when it comes to justice. 
10/10 for sociological debate and horror elements.
7) One Punch Man
OPM is an anime that stands out for me, partially for mocking the tropes of battle anime, and partially for the uniqueness of the main character’s predicament. It’s set in Japan where heroes and villains exist, and the protagonist is a man called Saitama who gained superstrength after doing 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, and a 10K run every day. However he’s become so strong that he can defeat every enemy with a single punch. Nothing is a challenge for him anymore so he becomes depressed and unfulfilled; he’s still a good man who helps people, but he feels he’s missing something from his life. A cyborg called Genos makes Saitama his master, determined to learn his ways and they become friends. It’s one of the first anime that made me laugh out loud; it’s funny and entertaining, but also shows us that power is not equal to happiness. 
10/10 for moral lessons and good jokes.
6) Tanaka-kun is Always Listless
The only slice of life anime on this list and not very well known, however it has a special place in my heart. The main character Tanaka is a boy who dozes off constantly and acts exhausted when awake; he loves expending as little energy as possible. His best friend Ohta looks out for him and essentially makes sure he doesn’t get lost/ be late/die on a daily basis, including carrying him when he just falls asleep sometimes. Although Tanaka seems uncaring, it’s shown that friendship isn’t a bother to him, and he realises that he actually relies on his friends despite saying he likes being left in peace. His friends all have great personalities, my personal faves are a tough gangster girl who’s rude to everyone EXCEPT her adorable loli girlfriend, and a popular girl who’s trying too hard to fit in and starts to become more herself after befriending Tanaka. All the characters share one brain cell, and it’s genuinely a funny anime - I’ve burst out laughing watching it a few times. Also Tanaka and Ohta are extremely shippable if you want to go down that route; it’s said several times in the series that they’re like an old married couple. 
10/10 for wholesomeness and comedy.
5) Ouran High School Host Club
Another lighthearted show, probably the anime that’s made me laugh the most out of any. It’s set at an academy for rich-as-heck kids, and there’s a ‘Host Club’ where all the girls go to drink tea with a group of handsome boys. There’s the cunning Kyouka, prankster identical twins Hikaru and Kaoru, stoic Mori, adorable Honey, and princely but obnoxious Tamaki. Haruhi, a working-class scholarship student who is mistaken for a boy, accidentally breaks a precious vase and is forced by the host club to join them to pay off her debt. The group of boys realise fairly quickly that haruhi is a girl, but she becomes a popular host amongst the girls (LOVE the secret lesbian vibes) so they keep up the charade. I think I have a weakness for groups that share one brain cell because aside from Kyouka, they’re all idiots. I also love how flexible the show is with ideas of gender and sexuality despite being a slightly older anime. The daily antics of the host club combined with their personalities is a recipe for comedy, and they’re all lovable in their own ways. 
10/10 for characters, drama, and comedy; it’s well-paced too.
4) Bungou Stray Dogs
Set in an alternate modern Japan where some people have secret abilities that can be activated, this anime became an obsession when I first watched it. The cast of characters is amazing and the villains are awesome too. Atsushi is an orphan who discovers he can turn into a powerful tiger, and is hired by the Armed Detective Agency, a small organisation of powerful individuals who fight crime. NEED I SAY ANY MORE?? Many of the main characters share names with famous Japanese authors such as Osamu Dazai and Ryūnosuke Akutagawa which is really cool and something that might add to the story more if I had an understanding of Japanese literature. Anyways the main character Atsushi is kind of a wimp at first (understandably because the world of ability-users is actually terrifying), but he learns to stand up for himself and use his ability to save people. The show’s mixing of dark and comedic tones is perfect to me; one moment a character is off his head on mushrooms and the next Atsushi’s leg is brutally sliced off in a back alley fight (it regenerates later no worries). The plot is really cool and full of intrigue, and eventually you get the whole ‘Usually we’re sworn enemies but we’re forced to become allies in the face of a greater evil’ thing and it’s great! Turns out our main guy and our main bad guy are actually a pretty powerful and efficient team, hoho?? 
10/10 for supernatural detectives being super cool.
3) Yuri!!! on Ice
Y’all already know what’s going on. Ice skating, emotional breakthroughs, gay shit, HIT ME WITH IT. The story follows Yuri Katsuki, an insecure figure skater trying to regain his confidence, and his self-appointed coach Viktor Nikiforov. Viktor is enthusiastic in helping Yuri train, and Yuri has been a big fan of Viktor since his childhood *throws pillow across the room*. Yuri becomes determined to, quote, “surpass Viktor’s wildest imagination”, and they end up agreeing - through a series of convoluted events - to get married if Yuri wins gold at the olympics (I think it’s the olympics??). Either fuckin way this series has angst, humour, cuteness, and god DAMN did I get invested. When Yuri was doing his free skate my own heart was beating harder than it did when I finished a 10K. Love the vibes and also it’s the closest to full healthy gay representation that I’ve seen in anime for a while. Not much more I can say, but do I really need to say more???
10/10 for GAY and MY HEART
2) Kimetsu No Yaiba (Demon Slayer)
Ok this one’s kind of a cheat cause I’ve read the manga as well which is way ahead of the anime, but FUCC. It takes place in the Taisho Era in Japan (begins 1912), where Demons exist who eat people. Tanjiro Kamado’s family is killed by a demon one night and his sister Nezuko is turned into a demon - but it is soon discovered she’s different to other demons, and can restrain herself. Tanjiro joins the Demon Slayer Corps to try and track down a cure for his sister, while proving that demons are not inherently evil. I LOVE Tanjiro as a main character because he values kindness over everything else, not forgiving demons for their sins but recognising they are tormented creatures, trying to give them peace before they die. All demons were once human - a fact that only Tanjiro seems to remember when fighting them. He’s patient, gentle, and determined - hotheaded and brash sometimes, but he has this vibe that just makes people become his friend/respect him even if they don’t intend to. He befriends two other slayers - Inosuke, an absolutely feral Best Boy who was raised by wild boars, and Zenitsu, a cowardly but ultimately loyal guy. This trio works really well together and Tanjiro is a great protagonist. Don’t even get me STARTED on the music and animation. Impeccable. Kamado Tanjiro No Uta makes me cry every time I hear it, and the water/fire effects used to show the metaphorical way the swords move like the elements takes my breath away.
10/10 for morals, music and animation.
1) Mob Psycho 100
Where the fuck do I start here. This anime is so unique in its style, story, and characters that I think it will always be my favourite. It follows Shigeo Kageyama (nicknamed Mob cause that’s what they call extras and background characters in Japan), a plain boy with incredible psychic powers that explode when his emotions are too high. Over time he’s learned to suppress his emotions, causing him to become socially inept and emotionally withdrawn. His (fake) psychic ‘master’, Reigen, uses him to make money exorcising spirits, making Mob believe that it’s for ‘training’. Mob appears naive at times, but he is so simply kind to people that it makes my heart hurt. Unlike many of the egomaniac psychics that Mob comes across, he recognises that without powers, he is just an ordinary boy. Mob’s greatest power isn’t his OP psychic abilities, but his power to show people they can change, that he can change. He forgives (and eventually befriends) people who have tried to kill him. Redemption and empathy are big themes here and they’re done really well.
The other characters are so well rounded and are also given time to grow, including Reigen - at first he’s a seemingly manipulative sleazebag, but later you see that he is a genuinely good man who has taught Mob many lessons and helped him grow up. This is a core message - Mob’s ability to change is due to support from his friends, not purely his own desire - people need other people!
This is also one of the true rarities in anime where the second season is absolutely just as good (if not better!) than the first one. The music is unique to the show, the ops for both seasons get me litty, the animation is incredible, the jokes are great and although it’s not all about big-ass fights, when we do get a big-ass fight it’s so fucking cool. The fight sequences are beautifully animated and visually stunning. MP100 makes me laugh, cry like an actual baby, and want to become a better person. Idk I could literally write pages on it like the big nerd I am but that’s all I’ll do for now.
10/10 for literally everything.
HONOURABLE MENTIONS
Given : about a boy who joins a band which helps him work through his trauma. Lovely healthy gay representation and themes of healing.
Samurai Champloo : ragtag trio consisting of two samurai - one lowkey feral and does breakdancing, the other lofty and withdrawn - and a bold young girl. Themes of friendship and journeys. I simp for the lofty samurai.
Cowboy Bebop: jazzy music, bounty hunters in space, 90s anime WHAT MORE COULD U WANT. Yet another group of characters that share a single brain cell. Love it.
9 notes · View notes
Text
Understanding Pride
Summary: Logan was aware that his friends weren't exactly straight, but he didn't realise quite how out of his depth he was surrounding the topic of being gay until this exact moment.
Or, Logan learns something new about himself.
Pairing: Queerplatonic analogical, background royality
Warnings: Internalised aphobia (questionably), description of a panic attack, brief mention of dissociation.
A/N: An anon asked for queerplatonic lamp—which I will hopefully get around to writing soon cause that’s definitely the Good Shit—but hopefully this will tide you over until then! Also despite having an anxiety disorder, I’ve never had a panic attack before, so hopefully my description isn’t terrible (feel free to let me know if it is though).
AO3 Link
Logan came home to the dorm room that afternoon to complete chaos. There were poster boards lying on every single flat surface he could see, coloured card all over the floor and glitter seemed to be stuck to every bit of it all, and in the middle of this mess was his roommate and his two best friends.
Logan had been living with Roman for several months now, so he was used to coming home to find the dorm in various states of disarray—papers and props scattered across the desk or the entirety of Roman’s wardrobe taking residence on both of the beds—however, this was definitely a new one.
Patton had perked up at the sound of the door opening and had immediately started to bound his way over to Logan, almost slipping on card in the process.
"Logan! You're home!" Patton squealed, pulling Logan into a very glittery hug that he didn't return, "Great! Now you can help us!"
Pulling away from Patton's hug, Logan looked him up and down. Patton was wearing a shirt he'd likely designed himself, considering the myriad of what he felt in his bones must be puns covering it, a short, fluffy skirt and had a flag of some kind wrapped around his shoulders like a cape. Although Patton's usual attire was certainly... eccentric, this was even more so than that.
A quick glance at the room's other two occupants revealed that they were also wearing slightly unusual clothing. Roman was wearing a self-designed shirt similar to Patton's, though slightly more simple and organised, grey sweatpants and a different coloured flag wrapped around his shoulders; Virgil was wearing an oversized t-shirt with the words, "I'm too ace for this" on it, paired with a yellow beanie and a purple knee-length skirt.
Quite honestly, the fact that Virgil was wearing colour was perhaps the most alarming part of the situation.
"Help you with what?" he finally asked, having given up trying to guess what in the world they were doing.
Patton giggled. "With making stuff for Pride tomorrow, silly!"
He tugged Logan's hand until they were seated opposite the other two, a big poster board in between them with "I'm punsexual" written on it and subsequently also covered in glitter. He hated to admit it, but Logan was completely and utterly lost.
He squinted slightly. "Pride?"
The three of them stared at him in shock.
"Yeah, Logan..." Roman replied, tone indicating that Logan had missed something fairly obvious and important. He hated that tone. "Pride. You know? Happens once a year? All us gays get together and throw a big party-"
Patton cut in, "-And remember all the struggles it took us to get to this point-"
"-And spend far too much money on gay merch, cause capitalism," Virgil finished.
They all looked at him searchingly. Logan was aware that his friends weren't exactly straight—I mean, Roman and Patton were dating, so clearly they couldn't be straight—but he didn't realise quite how out of his depth he was surrounding the topic of being gay until this exact moment.
Logan had grown up in a fairly conservative town, and though he wouldn't say they were necessarily against people being gay, he certainly wouldn't have imagined anyone would feel safe enough to come out if they were. So, all in all, his upbringing was pretty straight (in more ways than one).
He cleared his throat. "Right, yes, well that does sound... vaguely familiar I suppose," he lied, "What would you want me to-"
"Logan?" Patton interrupted. He was looking at Logan with confused yet amused interest. It was a very uncharacteristic look for Patton, and it made Logan feel slightly uncomfortable. "Are you straight?"
The question caught Logan off guard and he answered before he could really think it through.
"I mean... yes?"
Patton screwed up his face slightly. "You don't sound sure."
That's ridiculous, of course he was sure. Wasn't he? Really, growing up the way he did, he never thought there was any kind of other option, and by the time he’d realised there was, he was already sure enough that he was straight that he didn't consider it. And anyway, he didn't like boys like that. He didn't really like girls like that either, but that was neither here nor there. He just hadn't found the right one yet, he was sure.
"I suppose I never really thought about it," he replied slowly, "I just kind of... assumed I was."
The other three exchanged looks. There seemed to be some sort of silent conversation going on between them that Logan couldn't quite understand. He was about to ask them to just talk to him already when Virgil turned to look at him.
"So how do you feel about boys?"
Logan blinked. "Uh, boys are... fine, I suppose."
"How do you feel about girls?"
Virgil was leaning towards him, the look on his face slightly more intense than Logan would have preferred. His brain felt like it was running 100 miles a minute and yet it wasn't going anywhere at all, stuck in a loop of quick-fire questions and feelings he didn't understand. This conversation was overwhelming at best and quite honestly, he wished they weren't having it.
"They're also fine, look-"
"Okay, but 'fine' like, 'oooh, damn, you're looking fine' or 'fine' as in the waiter just gave you Pepsi instead of Coke and you're trying to be polite?"
Logan stared at Roman, trying to comprehend the words that had just come out of his mouth.
"I- um," Logan stuttered, "The... uhh-"
Logan quite honestly felt ready to defenestrate himself to escape this conversation, and Patton clearly decided to take pity on him, as he turned to Logan and put a hand lightly on his upper arm. Though Logan wasn’t normally one to appreciate physical contact, Patton's hand was at least giving him something to focus on besides his swirling thoughts.
"Logan, you like researching stuff, right?" Patton asked, smiling softly, "Learning new things?"
Logan nodded, confident in an answer for the first time since this conversation began.
"Okay, so how about instead of bombarding you with questions—" Patton sent a semi-stern glare at the other two, who had the decency to look a little bit sheepish—"We give you a list of some terms and stuff and you can look it up yourself, yeah?"
Logan exhaled, letting out a breath he hadn't even realised he'd been holding. "I think that would be preferable, Patton, yes."
He stood up quickly, attempting to brush away the glitter that had stuck to every inch of his jeans the moment he sat down, before turning to grab his bag from by the door where he’d dropped it. He needed some space to think. As much as he appreciated his friends’ company, their emotions could certainly be… overpowering at times, and he needed a bit of distance from that.
“I’m going to the library,” he said, addressing his friends, their faces displaying their disappointment, “I have a paper I need to finish.”
That was a lie, of course. He’d finished all his coursework for the next 2 weeks and they all probably knew that, having been subjected to his insistent studying habits for the past couple of months. Roman especially—a surprisingly light sleeper, he’d been woken up several times by Logan muttering something or other about how bullshit magnetic fields were or how the reclassification of Pluto was one of the biggest mistakes of the scientific community (that one actually wasn’t class-related, Logan just had strong feelings about Pluto). To their credit though, none of them called him out on it, just nodding their heads and wishing him good luck with his study.
Just before pulling the door closed behind him, Logan turned around and said, “Text me that list. I’m sure I can make some time to check things out.”
He barely caught the wide grins of his friends before he shut the door and started his way over to the library.
//////////////////
Logan fell into a seat at his usual table, taking off his glasses for a moment before rubbing his hand over his face, sighing.
He liked the library. Libraries were one of the few places left in the world where you could truly just exist without anything being expected of you. You didn’t have to pay to stay, you weren’t forced into unwanted conversation, you could read or work or simply breathe without having to worry about being yelled at or infringing upon anybody else. Truly, it was one of the best places you could be.
Plus, it was quiet—a fact that Logan normally appreciated, but right now was proving to be more of a hindrance, as quite honestly, he was on the verge of screaming.
Self-reflection was not Logan’s style. He preferred not having to think too hard about his preferences, generally they proved to be less than important anyway and the effort that it took to try and untangle his emotions really wasn’t worth the payout. Clearly, though, this was something he’d been putting off for a long time, even if he hadn’t necessarily realised he had been. It was about time he thought about it.
Patton’s text had come through sometime on Logan’s walk over, so he grabbed out his phone to take a look.
Patton: Here’s the list, Lo! We added our own labels in there as a little coming out to you, since we realised we never did it officially!! 💖🧡💛💚💙💜
Sexuality stuff:
LGBTQIA+
Gay/Lesbian — you probably already know this one, but just in case :) (gay is also what Ro goes by! just cause it’s easier ~ Patton)
Bisexual/pansexual (this one’s mine!! I prefer pansexual over bisexual!!! ~ Patton)
Asexual (me ~ V)
(you should also look into the difference between a romantic orientation and a sexual orientation ~ V)
(oh and asexuality is a spectrum, so probably look into some of the other a-spec identities too, demisexuality, gray-asexuality, etc. ~ V)
(and probably look into sex repulsion too and all that. there’s a lot to this, sry. ~ V)
Aromantic (all the previous stuff applies to this too, aromanticism is a spectrum, romance-repulsion, all that ~ V)
Gender stuff:
Binary transgender (which I am! ~ Roman)
Cisgender
Nonbinary (which me and Virgil are!! ~ Patton) and gender neutral/nontraditional pronouns
(there are more specific nonbinary identities though ~ V)
Agender
Genderqueer
Genderfluid (Patton. she mostly uses he/him or she/her pronouns, depending on the day. me and Roman usually feel it out, or if we’re unsure, just ask. ~ V)
Bigender
Pangender
Demiboy/girl (me. usually he/him is fine. ill let you know when it’s not. ~ V)
We know this is a lot, so if you have any questions, we’re here!!!
Logan read through the list a couple of times, before pulling out his laptop and opening up google. This was going to take a while.
He started out with ‘gay/lesbian’. He was already fairly certain he knew what it meant, however, he figured going in sequential order would result in the least amount of confusion from skipping over things he should have known. He found a website fairly quickly which outlined the definitions of gay/lesbian and bisexual, even including a description of transgender and gender identity. He glared slightly at an unfamiliar word, before shooting a text over to Roman.
Logan: Roman, do you identify with the words, ‘transsexual’ or ‘transvestite’?
He continued reading through the website as he waited for a reply. It was only a couple of minutes before his phone buzzed on the table next to him.
Roman: uhh, no 😂 those terms are all pretty outdated. there might be some trans people who still use the word transsexual, but transvestite is generally seen as a,,, negative term. at least, if someone called me a transvestite I wouldn’t take it in a positive way.
Logan frowned before closing his tab. Clearly, the website wasn’t up to date.
In his search to find a description of pansexuality, Logan stumbled on another website with a list of terms, this one seeming considerably more reliable. He skimmed over the definition of pansexuality, getting a general grip on the term before he decided to text Patton.
Logan: Patton, why do you prefer the label pansexual over bisexual? I am to understand they are largely the same thing.
Patton: They are!! Really, it’s a matter of just what you /like/ to use more than anything I think! Some people say bisexuality is transphobic, cause it doesn’t clearly include nonbinary genders in its definition, but I don’t think that's fair! I have tons of bisexual, nonbinary friends! Well, okay, I have two, but still!!!
Logan nodded to himself absentmindedly. He’d heard of homophobia, so he assumed transphobia was a similar concept, but against transgender, or trans, people as opposed to gay ones. He’d yet to reach a definition of nonbinary but based on context clues he could take a guess at what it meant.
Another text came through from Patton.
Patton: Plus, there’s way more fun puns with pun-sexuality 😜
Logan put his phone away.
After finishing reading the pansexuality description, he opened up the tab of definitions and scrolled through, quickly coming upon asexuality, the next on the list.
“Asexual: A person who generally does not feel sexual attraction or desire to any group of people. Asexuality is not the same as celibacy. Click here for dedicated page.”
Logan blinked. Not… having sexual feelings towards anyone? That was an option?
He considered sending a text to Virgil, but he wasn’t really sure what he wanted to ask. Instead, he opened up the ‘dedicated page’ and began to read.
“Some asexual people are happier on their own, others are happiest with a group of close friends… free of sexual expectations we can form relationships in ways that are grounded in our individual needs and desires… Many asexual people experience attraction, but feel no need to act out that attraction sexually. Instead they feel a desire to get to know someone, to get close to them in whatever way works best for them.”
Oh.
Logan shut the lid of his laptop, trying to breathe as steadily as possible. He grabbed out his phone and texted Virgil a very uneloquent:
Logan: Asexuality is an option? That’s something you can be?
He realised that his text was quite ambiguous and likely very confusing, but luckily enough, Virgil seemed to understand what he meant.
Virgil: yeah, dude, i know. look at aromanticism next, yeah? Virgil: and, uh,,, maybe look into queerplatonic relationships? idk, that might be something that youd want to know about,,,,
Logan was about to turn back to his laptop and do exactly that when his phone buzzed again in his hand. He unlocked it to find another text from Virgil.
Virgil: oh and um, sorry abt earlier. got a lil intense there.
He smiled before sending back a reply.
Logan: It’s already forgiven.
The website Logan was on didn’t seem to have a definition of aromanticism, so after briefly reading over the other descriptions, Logan turned back to google. After scrolling through some links relating to an album of sorts, Logan opened up a website called aromantics wiki and began to read.
“An aromantic is someone who does not experience romantic attraction.”
Logan felt slightly like someone had just punched him in the stomach. He read over the definition again, and then again, his brain not quite comprehending how this one sentence held as much importance as it did.
Aromantic.
He wasn’t waiting for the right one. He wasn’t strange to not feel romantic attraction. He was aromantic.
Romance had always been pushed on him by his family. It was something he understood—he was the youngest of 3 siblings, both his older brothers having already found wives by the time they were in their late 20’s; his parents expected the same of him—but it certainly wasn’t something he had ever enjoyed.
When he was young he had a best friend called Kara, who was a girl. They’d met on the playground and had bonded over their mutual love of solitude. They both appreciated being able to spend time together without having to worry about socialising. Occasionally they’d talk about school or debate how likely it was that there was life on other planets because they were things they enjoyed discussing, but mostly they swung together or made sandcastles, movements synchronised without even trying. Their relationship had been close, but it had been simple.
And then everyone else ruined it.
When Logan came home from spending time at Kara’s house, his Dad would ask him if he had a good time with his girlfriend. Logan would frown and tell him Kara wasn’t his girlfriend. His Dad would ruffle his hair and laugh, saying, “Sure, buddy”. Logan would be confused as to why he didn’t believe him.
Logan’s brothers would seek the two of them out during lunch at school, taunting them and laughing about how “Logan has a crush! Logan has a crush!” until Kara would grab his hand to pull him away, his brothers’ oooh’s echoing in his ears. He’d hold hands with his mom too, he wouldn’t understand why it was a big deal.
Logan would lay awake at night, questioning his feelings. Did he like Kara? He liked spending time with her. He wanted to make her happy and he liked seeing her smile. He didn’t think he got butterflies around her (and really, he didn’t understand that term anyway; how would butterflies end up in your stomach?) but his parents said it was different for everyone, so maybe he just didn’t realise. He must like her, everyone said he did.
So Logan told her he liked her. And that was the last playdate they ever had together.
He hadn’t realised he was crying until he looked down to see tears splashed on his computer keys. One of the librarians, Ms Miles, had made her way over to Logan’s table and was watching him with a worried expression.
“Logan, sweetheart, are you alright?” she said, dropping the stack of books she was holding onto the other side of the table. She looked kind of shocked to see such a display of emotion from someone usually so stoic.
Logan knew the librarians, Ms Miles, Mrs Carroll and Cathy, quite well. He often volunteered to help shelve books or issue items on days where he wasn’t busy, but still wanted something to do. He’d even collaborated on some displays and events with them when they were asking for help from students, and Cathy had a running list of books she was recommending Logan every time he came in, leading to some truly excellent finds.
Logan wiped at his eyes hastily before sliding his laptop into his bag and standing up from the table.
“Yes, Ms Miles, I’m fine,” Logan lied—his entire world view had just shifted, he was far from fine—“I just remembered something upsetting, but it’s a long time past, really. I’m just going to go back to my dorm now.”
Ms Miles nodded cautiously.
“If you’re sure, Logan,” she said, sweeping up the books she’d put on the table and turning around to begin shelving.
Logan took a shaky breath before grabbing his phone out of his pocket and sending Virgil another text.
Logan: Meet me at the greenhouse. ASAP.
Logan felt his phone buzz almost immediately but didn’t check the reply, instead replacing his cell phone back in his pocket and heading off in the direction of the drama rooms.
Virgil and Logan had an unspoken agreement of sorts. The two of them understood each other very well, having similar natures—usually quiet and more in need of solitude than their two extroverted friends. Time spent with Virgil was generally peaceful and free of societal expectations. They were able to exist near each other without fear of having to socialise, and so they often sought each other out when spoons were low or when they simply needed a bit of quiet company.
Yes, often Virgil needed to be calmed due to his excessive worrying, but Logan was more than happy to do so, providing him with facts and whole truths until Virgil felt slightly more in control. Logan had never been good at comforting people—mindless platitudes and social niceties escaped his realm of understanding—but Virgil didn’t need that. He knew it was bullshit as much as Logan did.
In return, Virgil would keep an eye on Logan. It was subtle at first, but over time grew to Virgil outright ordering him to take care of himself, showing up at his room at all hours of the night, virtually forcing him into bed. Logan would complain as it was happening, but he’d wake up in the morning feeling warmer, ready to tackle whatever had kept him up so late with a more relaxed perspective. Truly, Virgil was an excellent friend.
If Logan thought too hard about it, which he tried his best not to, he reminded him of Kara.
Logan arrived at the greenhouse. It was abandoned, as it always seemed to be. The inside of the glass was coated in dirt, though not enough that you couldn’t see the knocked over plant pots and bags of dirt piled in the corners. Logan had hypothesised to Virgil that the greenhouse must have been used by the botany students once, though it had been in disuse for the entire time Logan and Virgil had known of it.
He took a seat on the ground, leaning against the warm glass. He expected it to be a couple more minutes before Virgil arrived—when comparing the distance between the library and his dorm—so Logan tried to take deep steadying breaths as he waited.
The first time Logan and Virgil had seen the greenhouse was within the first few months of knowing each other. They’d been lightly discussing the merits of social media as they wandered towards their next classes, both giving opposing arguments to what the other said, but always to prompt more discussion rather than as a result of their own beliefs. At least, they’d thought they were wandering towards their next classes. Unfortunately, however, they’d fallen prey to that trope of each of them thinking the other was leading the way, and so instead they ended up somewhere entirely different.
That somewhere different had been the greenhouse.
It had piqued Virgil’s interest almost immediately, always looking for more private places within the school grounds. Having an anxiety disorder in a place so public as a university campus could prove to be a bit difficult sometimes, Virgil had mentioned, and having somewhere he could go when he was feeling overwhelmed and needed to be alone was extremely important to him.
Upon closer inspection, Logan had concluded that the greenhouse hadn’t been used in quite some time. Not only was the area generally overgrown and unkempt—as opposed to the rest of the school, which had the grass cut regularly—but the padlock that hung on the door was rusted shut. Logan didn’t think that anyone could get in if they wanted to.
They’d scoped it out for a time, coming back every so often to check that no one was hanging around there during their breaks or anything, but it remained empty.
Weeks later Logan had witnessed Virgil have a panic attack for the first time. He’d texted Logan while he was studying at the library, telling him to come to the greenhouse. Logan hadn’t really thought anything of it—Virgil likely just wanted a bit of company—so when he arrived to one of his best friends crying and hyperventilating, he’d been a bit taken aback.
It hadn’t gone excellently for either of them. Logan had never seen anyone have a panic attack before so the first 5 or so minutes had been filled with a rather concerned Logan trying to get Virgil to tell him what he was supposed to be doing. In the end, Logan had realised he needed to get Virgil to breathe and had guided him through it a few times, Virgil eventually reaching a point where he was okay enough to explain.
Logan had learnt a lot about anxiety disorders since then. He’d gone back to the empty dorm almost immediately after Virgil had returned to class and researched into it as much as he could. He knew which breathing patterns to implement and he knew which grounding exercises to use, but that didn’t make it all that much easier to do when he, himself, was spiralling into a state of alarm.
He was going to end up living the rest of his life by himself without anyone to be there for him. All his friends were going to pair up, were going to fall in love and move away and he would remain—the leftovers nobody wanted.
He was never going to fall in love. He was never going to have that perfect life his family expected of him. He was going to end up alone forever and he didn’t want to be alone.
He wondered absently if maybe Virgil wasn’t going to come at all. Maybe Logan would die here, unable to breathe as a crushing weight sat on top of his chest.
Luckily, Virgil decided now was a good time to show up. Logan didn’t notice Virgil first arrive—his head pressed against his knees, arms braced on either side—but he did notice as Virgil took a seat next to him, his calming voice floating through Logan’s panicked haze.
“Come on, Lo, you know the breathing techniques, right?” Logan heard him say, “You just gotta breathe with me.”
Logan listened as he began to count, trying his best to breathe in time and focus on Virgil, only Virgil, nothing else. It was actually easier than he thought it would be to block everything out, just listening to Virgil’s counting and slow, steady breaths. It almost made him feel like he was floating, his body left behind as his mind latched on to Virgil’s words, wrapping itself up in them like they were a blanket on a cold winter’s day.
By the time Logan had calmed down, he was exhausted.
His body was sore; tense muscles unclenching, shoulders dropping and chest expanding as he breathed. He tried to focus on staying calm and not on the lingering panic buried in the back of his mind.
“Well, that was absolutely awful,” Logan said, voice much more hoarse than he’d expected it to be, “How do you do that all the time?”
Virgil chuckled, though Logan could tell he was worried. “Well, yeah. It’s not like I choose to.”
Logan hummed noncommittally.
Virgil carefully kept his distance, knowing Logan’s general distaste for physical contact, but right now all Logan wanted to do is crawl into Virgil’s lap and take a nap, maybe have Virgil run his hand through Logan’s hair. Fuck, he must be tired if he’s thinking like that.
Virgil must have been able to sense Logan’s wish for a hug somehow though, because he opened his arms in an offer and Logan barely hesitated before diving in and wrapping his arms around him. Virgil was warm and soft and safe. His grip was offering the perfect amount of pressure where he felt secure, but not trapped. Distantly, Logan realised he was crying again. Not sobbing, more like tears leaking out without his permission and damn, he was going to get dehydrated at this rate.
“I’m sorry,” Logan mumbled into the fabric of Virgil’s hoodie, “I don’t mean to be so emotional, I just-”
“You have nothing to apologise for,” Virgil interrupted, “Figuring things out about yourself is overwhelming. God knows I was a mess when I realised I was ace, or when I realised I was nonbinary, or, heck, even just realising I liked boys was a whole lot to deal with.”
“Overwhelming is definitely a word for it, yes.” Logan laughed wetly. “It just feels like suddenly I have so much more to worry about than I did yesterday.”
Virgil unwrapped his arms from around Logan to tilt his chin up. His expression was affectionate and kind.
“But you have a community now, yeah?” he said, voice soft, “You don’t have to do this alone.”
Logan barely gave himself a second to think before he was leaning up and pressing a kiss to Virgil’s cheek. Virgil spluttered for about a full five seconds, his face going bright red. Logan pulled away, unable to contain his laughter.
“What…” Virgil trailed off, expression completely baffled, “What was that?”
Logan, amusement dying down, pulled away to instead take position with his head on Virgil’s lap. It wasn’t nearly as comfortable as he had hoped it was going to be, but he was too tired to move now.
“It just felt like the right thing to do.”
“Acting on instinct? Who are you and what have you done with Logan?” Virgil joked, but his face was bright.
Virgil moved his legs slightly and Logan shifted with him and, yes, this was much better. They lay there for a moment, enjoying the stillness. Virgil’s hand had drifted to his hair and after some hesitance from Virgil and a small whine from Logan as he tried to pull away, he had taken to playing with it absentmindedly, his hand stroking through Logan’s dark curls. Another point to Logan for getting what he wanted without having to explicitly ask for it.
Logan had just about drifted off, warm sun beating down on him, when Virgil’s voice cut through the silence.
“Did you, uh, manage to look into queerplatonic relationships… by any chance?"
Logan opened his eyes. Virgil had gone tense underneath him and he frowned. He didn’t understand why this topic was distressing to Virgil, but he tried to assuage his fear nonetheless.
“Virgil I assure you, there’s no need to be anxious about this.” Virgil gave him a small smile, half self-deprecating and half soft and appreciative. “But as it stands, no, I did not get a chance to look into it. Would you like to tell me about it? I promise I will try my best not to fall asleep.”
Logan let his eyes fall shut again as Virgil laughed.
“Uh, yeah, sure,” he said lamely, “Basically it’s like a regular friendship, but more? Like, uh, you might do things with your queerplatonic partner that you might not with just a friend, like cuddle or uh, I don’t know, emotional intimacy stuff, talking about your hopes and dreams or whatever. And it has the same commitment level as a romantic relationship, like, you might stay together for the rest of your lives kind of thing, but it’s all platonic. You love each other but, like… platonically.”
Logan opened his eyes again to see Virgil staring off into the distance, biting his lip. Absently, Logan thought that he should get Virgil one of those chewy necklaces he’d seen online—the bat one seemed like a good choice; matched his dark aesthetic. On a more concrete level, Logan suddenly understood why Virgil had been so tense.
“Oh,” Logan blinked a few times. “Is that what this is?”
Virgil’s gaze flicked over to Logan immediately, eyes widening.
“I mean, it doesn’t have to be! We can just be friends, there’s seriously no pressure to-”
“Virgil?” Logan interrupted, watching as Virgil winced slightly.
“Yeah?”
Logan examined the face above him for a moment. Virgil was the person he trusted more than anyone else he knew. Virgil was the person who was always there when he needed someone to talk him down from whatever frenzy he had managed to get into. Virgil was an intelligent debate partner, an ever-calming presence and his best friend.
Really, how could there have been any question?
Logan gave a soft smile, “I’d like that.”
Virgil’s answering grin was blinding. Logan couldn’t help but smile brighter in return, his chest warm.
He felt protected here with Virgil. Protected from all the worries he’d previously had, protected from the harshness of the outside world that may not understand them, protected from his own insecurities. He knew Virgil loved him—really he thinks he always knew—and Logan loved him in return.
Virgil was there for him; he didn’t need to be alone.
So, of course, he could not let this moment last.
Logan put on a fake innocent look, channelling all the acting skills he must have gained by proxy from living with Roman.
“Does this mean I get to kiss you on the cheek more frequently?”
Virgil snorted, his face scrunching up as he pushed Logan off of his lap and onto the ground. Logan laughed as Virgil stood up, brushing the dirt off of the back of his skirt.
“I’m gonna get you back for that one day, you know that, right?” Virgil was scowling but Logan could tell he didn’t really mean anything by it.
Logan smiled up at him.
“I have full faith that you will.”
953 notes · View notes
unicornachos · 6 years
Text
A single life update (haven’t done one of these in yonks wowee)
HELLO EVERYONE IT’S BEEN LIKE. A YEAR?? 2 YEARS??? I never write text posts here anymore because I’m always yelling on my various twitter accounts. This has kind of become my place to organise and store inspiration for my art.
Anyway, I have some life news I guess. 
- I graduated from my final year in tertiary education so THAT’S DONE. YAAY
- I have a new housemate and she’s great
- I had a boyfriend for a lil bit but then we broke up and I’m perfectly ok. I think I’m a lot more on the gay end of the bi spectrum than I previously thought? Anyway we’re good.
- I went through a really tough time mental health wise a few months ago. Jobseeking, having to find a new housemate and having a lot of stress and uncertainty about whether I’d need to or not for months, trying to finish my advanced diploma, dealing with a really really shitty housemate whose aggressive boyfriend I didn’t want in the house which brought back a lot of not nice feelings from when I was younger, basically being asked to manage our entire store with my boss away after I finished uni, rent going up, etc really had my anxiety coming back in a massive way. I was also somewhat depressed but I was clinically diagnosed with a general anxiety disorder. Anyway- I put myself through a mostly online course on dealing with anxiety, low mood, and not great mental health for a few months and I’m feeling a lot better. There are still things I need to work on, but on the whole I’m managing it well and much better than I used to! It’s actually made me realise a lot of things about myself and helped me to improve and grow.
- As of today I have FINALLY BEEN ABLE TO QUIT MY SHITTY RETAIL JOB. I have been jobseeking for EIGHT ENTIRE MONTHS TO FIND A GOOD JOB. Not in my field (because I want to go freelance eventually) but a good, stable job that won’t make me want to cry each time I walk in the door. That pays me well and I can get proper lunch breaks and super and all that jazz. 
I’ve found it and I was sent my contract today!!!! It’s a course coordinator role for a non-for-profit organisation that organises tax education, and the team are incredibly lovely and friendly. 8:30-5pm 5 days a week. It’s in the city, so only a 20 min train ride from my place. I’M REALLY HAPPY AND RELIEVED THAT I CAN FINALLY START DOING WHAT I WANT.
I want to do a job that’s not too bad, save money, pay off my student loans or at least put a dent in them, maybe save to travel (I’ve always wanted to hike in NZ or visit my uncle in Wales) or be able to treat my mum to more nice things occasionally and go back home to the central coast more often to see her, be able to have more time and money to spend on doing conventions and zine fairs, and work on my art on the side. I want to save up a good amount so I can build up a base of clients, do a business plan etc, and when I finally do go freelance with my illustration have some savings to last me a few months before I get myself up and running.
But that’s all in the future. I start my new job on July 2nd! I’m really excited to, after 4 years of living in Sydney, being financially unstable, stressed from juggling work and uni, finally be able to get myself into a routine. I’m really excited to be able to come home from work and not write another resume or do another brief, but to just make the art I want to make for a while.
I have lots of ideas and projects in mind that I will finally have the time to work on!!
If you’re interested in my life enough to get this far, thanks I guess, haha. If anyone has twitter pls feel free to add me on there where I’m a lot more active.
Peace out
5 notes · View notes
kasumi-chou · 7 years
Text
Partner
Victor pressed a gently kiss to Yuuri’s forehead as he carefully slipped out of bed.
This may be a vacation for Yuuri, but he sadly still had to pull at least a couple of hours at the rink each day to prepare for his upcoming competition.
He pulled on the first set of clothes he could get his hands on before exiting the room. He stretched his arms above his head as he wandered downstairs, curious as to what type of food he could get his hands on this early in the morning.
Strangely, the light of the kitchen was on, illuminating the hallway and catching his attention.
It was rather early, a little after he would normally get up in the morning if he was at home.
He stepped into the kitchen, curious as to who was up this early.
“Oh, good morning, Vicchan,” Hiroko greeted him from the kitchen bench, hands carefully cutting up some vegetable he didn’t quite recognise.
“Good morning,” he greeted, glancing around the room, spotting an older man reading a paper at the small table set up in the corner of the kitchen.
“Oh, Vicchan, that is my husband and Yuuri’s father,” Hiroko explained, the man glanced up and sent him a small smile.
“Ah, good morning, I apologise for not greeting you yesterday,” the man said, giving him a gently smile that almost echoed the gentle smile Yuuri often sent him, “I’m Toshiya Katsuki.”
“It’s a pleasure,” he said, walking over to shake the man’s hand politely. Toshiya stared at him for a moment before shaking his hand with a nod and returning to his paper.
“Are you hungry, Vicchan? Can I make you anything? Is there something else you need?” Hiroko asked as she carefully poured some oil into a warming pan.
“Some food would be lovely. Could I also bug you for directions to the local skating rink?” he asked, causing Hiroko to turn towards him with a bright smile.
“Oh, yes, Yuuri mentioned that you skated,” Hiroko hummed as she skilfully moved around the kitchen, stirring random pots before adding a slice of fish that seemingly came from nowhere – or he hadn’t been paying as close of attention to Hiroko hands as he thought.
“Yes. Yuuri also said that he organised for me to skate?” he said, glancing behind him as he heard Toshiya turned the paper, seeming content to just sit and read.
Hiroko spoke up suddenly in Japanese, causing Toshiya to glance up before setting his paper down and leaving the room without a word.
“Yes, yes. Yuuko was here only the other day, telling us about how excited she was for Yuuri’s visit,” Hiroko said while pulling out some plates and carefully serving up three portions.
“Yuu-ko?” he repeated slowly, hoping he had gotten the name right. Hiroko chuckled and nodded her head while handing him two plates and directed him to the table Toshiya had previously been sitting at.
“Yes, Yuuko. She is a childhood friend of Yuuri’s. Her family runs the ice rink,” Hiroko explained as Toshiya returned, a piece of paper in his hands which was handed to him once his hands were empty of plates.
“That is a map of the town and I highlighted the path from here to the ice rink,” Toshiya said with that same gentle smile on his face while sitting back at the table.
“Sit, sit, Vicchan,” Hiroko said happily while placing plates and bowls all around him until he had a rather impressive collection.
“You have your Gohan – rice, your Miso – soup, Yakizakana – fish, Tsukemono – pickled vegetables, Nori – flavoured seaweed and Kobachi – vegetables,” Hiroko said while carefully pointing towards each of the bowls in turn. He simply stared at the collection in front of him for a moment before smiling and nodding his head.
He wasn’t sure he could name more than two of the words Hiroko had just told him, let along explain what he was eating. But the food smelt amazing and if it was anything like Yuuri’s own cooking – on the rare occasion that Yuuri could be bothered cooking Japanese cuisine – it would be incredible.
He picked up his chopsticks – exactly how Yuuri had been showing him – and carefully began eating.
As he expected, the food was incredible, tasting even better than Yuuri’s cooking – something he would blame on not having the same ingredients available in Russia to save Yuuri’s feelings.
Now, if only he could somehow convince Hiroko to cooking Katsudon, that would be the real test.
Yuuri quietly opened the door to his old bedroom and poked his head into the room. It was a little after nine, meaning it was probably time that he got up.
He smiled softly as he spotted Yuri sitting up in bed, staring out the window.
“Good morning, Yurochka,” he called out gently, causing Yuri’s head to snap towards him with a bright smile on his face.
“Papa!” Yuri called out. He chuckled at his son’s ridiculous bed hair as he moved towards the boy, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
“Did you sleep well?” he asked as he rose a hand to brush some of the boy’s hair out of his face, making a mental note to try and track down the boy’s hair brush after breakfast. Yuri nodded his head, smiling at him bright.
There was a soft boofing sound from beside the boy, causing him to finally take notice of Makkachin, who was half covered by the bedding.
“Oh, sorry Makkachin, good morning,” he greeted the poodle, reaching over to pat the dog on the top of the head, “Did you look after Yuri for me?” he asked, earning a whine of protest from Yuri.
“No, papa! I looked after Makkachin!” Yuri declared while grabbing his arm and shaking it slightly.
“Okay, okay,” he chuckled, ruffling the boy hair, “You ready to get up?”
“Yes!” Yuri said, kicking off the bedding and jumping out of bed. He chuckled softly as he followed the boy, getting back to his feet and moving towards the door.
“Coming, Makka?” he asked the poodle, who hurried after them without another word.
Yuuri let the way to the dining area, letting Yuri cling to the back of his shirt.
“Yuuri! Yu-chan! Good morning.” He came to a halt at the sound of his name, smiling as he spotted his father.
“Good morning, tousan,” he greeted before glancing towards Yuri. The boy stared up at his grandfather for a moment before shyly hiding behind him.
“Morning, Jiji,” Yuri mumbled quiet.
“I meet your partner this morning,” his father said, causing him to pause in surprise.
Sure, he had come out to his parents as gay a while ago, but it was still rather surprising how accepting they were of it.
Neither of his parents batted an eye when he told them that he was dating another gay – something that he felt had to be made clear, rather than just telling them he was dating someone.
They actually got quite excited when he told them that they – being Yuri, Victor and himself – would all be making a surprise, last minute trip to see them.
Despite everything, he still never believed that they accepted his sexuality, but here his father was, referring to Victor not as a ‘friend’ but as his partner.
“And?” he quickly asked, earning a bright smile from his father.
“A charming boy. Very, very nice,” his father said, nodding his head while reaching over to pat him on the shoulder, “Very good man for you.”
“Thank you,” he stuttered out in embarrassment.
“Go have something to eat. Your kaasan has been waiting for you to get up,” his father waved them off, continuing on his way to wherever he was going.
“Papa, hungry,” Yuri whined, tugging on his shirt to gain his attention. He ruffled the boys head before waving him off him.
“You know where the dining room is from here,” he told the boy with a smile.
Yuri took a few steps in front of him before pausing and glancing back at him. He rolled his eyes as he caught up with the boy and walked beside him to the dining hall, where – as his father promised – his mother was waiting for them with a huge breakfast.
“Yuuri, before you go!”
He finished dying Yuri’s shoes before glancing up to his mother hurrying towards him.
“Yes?” he asked, before blinking as he was handed a wrapped bento box.
“For Vicchan!” his mother said with a bright smile.
“Oh,” he mumbled softly, “Thank you.”
“Bye Baba,” Yuri said while opening the front door.
“Bye-bye, Yu-chan, be good,” his mother said. He smiled at his mother before hurrying after Yuri, not wanting the boy to get too far ahead of him.
“We will be back later,” he called out with a final wave over his shoulder.
He sighed softly as he caught up to Yuri, grabbing a hold of the boy’s hand.
“Don’t run off on me, Yurochka,” he told the boy while tugging him in the opposite direction.
“We are going to find Vicchan, right, papa?” Yuri questioned while happily skipping beside him.
“Yes,” he smiled, nodding his head softly.
“And Vicchan is at the skating rink, right? We can skate?” Yuri asked him excitedly. He chuckled softly while ruffling the boys head gently.
“Sorry, Yurochka, not today,” he said, causing the boy to deflate.
“What? Why?” Yuri demanded, turning to look at him with an adorable pout on his lips. He chuckled softly and ruffled the boy’s hair gently.
“We are going to look around today. Maybe if you ask Victor nicely, you can skate with him tomorrow,” he said. Yuri stared up at him for a moment before huffing and turning away from him. He blinked in surprised, not expecting Yuri to continue to pout at him.
The rest of the walk to the rink was quiet and uneventful. Yuri continued to ignore him, though never wandered more than three steps away from him.
He entered the rink, recognising the woman standing behind the counter fixing rental skates right away.
He couldn’t help but smile shyly as the woman turned towards him, only to pause.
“YUURI!” Yuuko squealed in delight, hurrying to the front of the counter. He chuckled softly while approaching the counter to greet his childhood friend, only to yelp in surprise as he was hit on top of the head.
“Ow,” he whined, glancing up at Yuuko in confusion.
“You’re dating Victor Nikiforov!?” Yuuko hissed, peaking up to clearly check if Victor wasn’t in earshot.
“Yes?” he replied hesitantly, earning a pointed look from Yuuko.
“And why did I only find this out when Victor Nikiforov came to my rink, telling me that his boyfriend had organised ice time for him?!” Yuuko huffed, crossing her arms across her chest.
“Papa,” Yuri mumbled, tugging on the back of his shirt.
“Yes?” he questioned, turning towards Yuri who was glancing around curiously.
“Where is Vicchan?” the boy asked, he smiled as he gently handed the boy the bento box his mother had made.
“Vicchan is through those doors. Can you go give him this for me?” he asked, pointing towards the doors that lead to the skating rink.
“Oh my god,” Yuuko whispered from behind him, “That is your son? He is adorable.”
“Oh,” he mumbled, blushing softly, “Thank you?”
“I’ve seen photos, but seriously, they don’t do that kid justice,” Yuuko cooed softly.
“How are your trio?” he asked, earning a bright smile in response.
“Trouble makers, I don’t know where they get it front,” Yuuko sighed while pulling out her phone to show him some pictures of her triplet girls. How Yuuko – and Takeshi, his other childhood friend – dealt with three kids was beyond him. One was plenty at the moment.
“But seriously, we need to catch up. I need to know how you managed to hook Victor Nikiforov,” Yuuko insisted while giving him a pointed look.
“Yurasha!”
He glanced up at his nickname and smiled as he saw Victor standing in the doorway of the rink in his workout gear, his skates still on his feet.
“Hi,” he said, giving Yuuko a small smile before walking over to his boyfriend. Victor didn’t even hesitate to wrap an arm around his waist and pull him into a kiss, right there in the doorway of the rink.
He gasped in surprise causing Victor to chuckle softly as they continued to kiss for a moment.
“Hi,” Victor mumbled softly when they finally broke apart, a grin that could only spell trouble on his lips.
“Gross,” Yuri mumbled from somewhere nearby.
“I need all the details later, Yuuri, all of them,” Yuuko giggled from behind him – in Japanese so Victor couldn’t understand, of course - causing him to groan as he buried his face into his boyfriend’s chest.
“What?” Victor questioned.
He simply let out another groan, this time into his boyfriend’s chest.
Skater Next Door AU
AO3 Skater Next Door
95 notes · View notes
sapphicscholar · 7 years
Note
"of knowing that I put the jobs of my family members who worked for the Church at risk just by being out". Hi. I'm having a really hard time right now putting into words my reaction to reading that ^ and I hope it's okay for me to send this. My parents have always worked for the church or Christian organisations. My dad works for our bishop, and when I came out as trans, my mother was working in two other churches. But I know (of) so few people who have the same experience of being lgbtq+ (1/4)
and from church families and I think part of what I’m feeling now is relief that I’m not the only one. My dad works closely with the press and luckily for me is known by a lot of very senior church people in my country and a lot of what he’s dealing with this holiday is to do with gay couples and how the church is treating them and there is this niggling fear in the back of my mind that my being out could really jeopardise the one job that’s feeding my family by putting him suddenly on both sides of the argument. And because of my parents’ history of working in the church, all of my godparents are from that history and me coming out also risks their jobs, and it’s terrifying to think that as well as risking my life by coming out I’m risking the livelihoods of people I care about, and I just - do you ever work out how to balance wanting to be true to yourself with protecting other people? Because it really hurts to even think like that, you know? Anyway, I’m now going to actually read the chapter that will probably now make me cry more, and sorry for the brain splurge but thank you very much for both the fic and being open with us about your experiences. (Also just feel free to ignore all of this) (2-4/4)
Hi there! First of all thanks for checking in and giving me the option–I really do appreciate it. Second, I hope you liked the chapter, and it didn’t make ya cry. But anyway, no, you are definitely not the only one, and yes, I very much understand the fear. And for a while, I really did let it (along with way too much internalized shame) keep me in the closet. And it’s so shitty that there are organizations that would make values like love and acceptance (not just toleration cause god that word pisses me off) a reason for firing or ostracization when they should be things we celebrate. But I remember being petrified because we’re working-class enough that even just a few weeks of unemployment would mean not being able to pay the bills, and my mom’s boss (also the bishop) was an ass, especially when it came to LGBTQ+ issues. 
At least for me, it helped a bit to hear my mom talking about how frustrating it was to see him being so openly homophobic without caring about the values that had kept her in the church (things like service to the poor and loving your neighbors). And when I did come out to her, she actually wrote me a letter (I was leaving the next morning, so she put it in my suitcase) telling me how proud she was that I hadn’t let my years in the Catholic Church stop me from being true to myself. She talked about how many gay men she knew who became priests or married women and had families and were miserable–not because the job was bad or because the women they had married were bad people, but because it wasn’t, to borrow a Catholic phrase, their calling in life. And being able to see someone who had spent her entire adult life working for the Catholic Church say that? God, it meant the fucking world to me. 
And I think at the end of the day, being true to yourself and living as the person you’re meant to be is what’s going to help you make the most of the life you were given. And obviously, you know, safety concerns first, but when it comes to balancing your concerns with those of your family, there’s something to be said for believing that love means wanting the best for other people–not what you think is best for them, but what they actually know and feel is best for themselves. 
Also, on a more practical note for assuaging fears (at least for me, I had many lists of fears and ways to address them because lists are the only way I feel like I have control):
1. The older you get, the more people will assume that you’re simply doing your own thing and your parents have no control over it. And it’s total bs to think that my mom is safer in her job because if need be she could simply point to me and be like oh she lives hundreds of miles away in a liberal city–she makes her own choices now. But it’s true too. And would she do it? Doubtful. She’s grown rather outspoken about LGBTQ+ issues between my coming out and seeing my fiancee kicked out of her home for dating another woman. But there’s still that option if it came down to it. 
2. My conservative, extraordinarily Catholic grandfather once came up to me at my college graduation party, clapped me on the shoulder, and said, “Want to know what I think about gay marriage?” And god, no, no, no. I did not. But I nodded because surely I would out myself if I said no thank you. So he kept going: “It’s law now, and people are angry. They say that the Church objects, you know? But do you remember that story–I know you do, kiddo!–where Jesus is asked about taxes, and he makes them look at their money? Then he tells them to render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s, and unto God the things that are God’s. And I think marriage is like that–they’re asking for a civil right, and it isn’t our place to deny someone a right.” And it might not be my first defense of marriage argument, but I think it gets down to the heart of the issue in a way that a lot of Catholics and religious folks find more easily comprehensible. Things like LGBTQ+ rights are civil rights, and, yes, sometimes as individuals we’re tied to non-civic organizations, but those ties don’t (or shouldn’t) take away existing rights, and a family member’s defense of your (or my or anyone else’s) right to those basic decencies should be able to be separated and acknowledged as an act of obeying Caesar or whatever, not something that should be cause for alarm (even though I like to believe that most people, even in these conservative organizations, wouldn’t see it as cause for alarm either way, would choose to uphold those more basic cardinal rules and values that honor human dignity and love above the minutiae of a Catechism written and edited over the years by humans with their own biases and historical contexts). 
Anyhow, I’ve rambled for a long time now. I hope any part of this was at all helpful, if only just to know that other people have definitely made their way through the frustrating balancing act, but if you ever want to talk, my ask box is open/I’m on messenger too. Wishing you the very best and sending you all of the virtual hugs if you want them! 
5 notes · View notes
the-desolated-quill · 7 years
Text
A Good Man Goes To War - Doctor Who blog
(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)
Tumblr media
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen A Good Man Goes To War. I remember at the time thinking it was dumb, but I had forgotten just how dumb it actually was until now. I’ve seen bad Doctor Who before. I’ve seen stupid Doctor Who before. But A Good Man Goes To War reaches new levels of bollocks I didn’t even think was possible to reach. It’s really quite astounding.
So Amy is trapped on Demon’s Run with Eye Patch Lady about to steal her child. And already we’ve hit our first problem. I’ve mentioned in the past how rubbish Moffat is at writing female characters, and this episode is where its most obvious. Eye Patch Lady is taking her baby away and all Amy does in response is throw sassy putdowns at people. Now if someone were to take away my child, I’d be in fucking hysterics. I’d be shouting and screaming and trying to put up a fight. But as I’ve said in the past, Amy isn’t a character. She’s a plot device. And Moffat writes her as such. She is pretty much nothing but a walking womb.
Meanwhile the Doctor is travelling around time and space and calling in markers in order to save Amy. And here is our second problem. Does this sound like the Doctor to you? Expecting favours from people as a repayment for helping them out in the past? Again, I find myself asking, has Steven Moffat ever actually watched Doctor Who before? The Doctor helps people because it’s the right thing to do. He doesn’t do it with the cynical expectation that they’ll return the favour at some point down the line. It’s just wildly out of character for him.
I suppose I’d be a little more comfortable with it if we actually got to know the Paternoster Gang. Find out how they met the Doctor and why they feel they owe him a favour, but we don’t. For some strange reason people really seem to like the Paternoster Gang, but for the life of me I can’t see why. They’re complete non-entities. There’s nothing remotely interesting about them. Strax is basically just the shit comic relief, diminishing any possible threat the Sontarans could have in future stories with every unfunny one liner, and we learn precisely fuck all about Madame Vastra or Jenny other than they’re gay (on a side note, why do they keep casting Neve McIntosh to play Silurians? Don’t get me wrong. She’s a good actor, but the Silurians aren’t like the Sontarans. They’re not clones).
At this point it seems appropriate to talk about LGBT representation. Specifically how rubbish Moffat is at doing it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful that Moffat is willing to put gay characters into his stories, but the way he does it is a tad dodgy to say the least. See, when you’re writing a gay character, there needs to be a lot more to them than just being gay. Russell T Davies understood that perfectly. There were a number of queer characters during his tenure as showrunner, most notably Captain Jack Harkness, and they were all written fairly well for the most part. What I especially appreciated was how their sexuality was never the primary focus. Rather it was just another aspect to their character. Look at Jack Harkness. He’s openly pansexual, but they never make a big deal out of it. It’s just casually mentioned and treated as any other character trait. Plus there’s a lot more to Jack than just being pan. He’s an outgoing adventurer. He seeks redemption for his conman days. He puts on a cheery facade to hide the dark traumas he went through during his long, immortal life. This is good LGBT representation because what it does is it normalises his sexuality. The show treats him as any other character. There’s nothing special or different about him. He’s no different from a heterosexual person. He just has different sexual preferences, and that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong or strange about that, and so the show doesn’t treat it as such. I think that’s a really good message to send to kids.
Then we come to the Moffat era. Madame Vastra and Jenny are gay. That’s their sole defining character traits. That’s not representation. That’s tokenism. Whereas the queer characters of the RTD era felt like real people, the ones in the Moffat era feel like cardboard cutouts with the word ‘gay’ written on their foreheads. And it just gets worse when those two Cleric marines show up:
“We're the Thin Fat Gay Married Anglican Marines. Why would we need names as well?”
Ugh! Okay, let me tell you precisely why I hate this line so much. It’s incredibly important, particularly in a kids show, to represent and normalise the LGBT community. My issue is this. If being gay is perfectly normal (which of course it is)... why is Moffat drawing so much attention to it? That would be like me making a big fuss about the colour of the sky. The only reason you would do that is if there’s something unusual about it, which is precisely the opposite thing you should be conveying. It’s heavily implied that the Thin Fat Gay Couple are the only ones who are gay, and that’s treated as a novelty. They’re such a novelty in fact that they don’t even have names. The reason I hate this so much is because they’re not characters in their own right. Rather they’re the equivalent of a carnival sideshow attraction with Moffat as the ringmaster inviting spectators to pay tuppence to poke the freaks in the cages. Rather than putting in the effort to write gay characters that are actually well developed and complex, he’s just using these shallow caricatures to boast about how seemingly progressive he is. He’s more bothered about winning brownie points and massaging his own ego rather than providing compelling representation for minority figures. 
He treats his female characters the same way. He boasts about how strong Amy and River Song are, but they’re really not. Yes they’re seemingly independent at first glance, but they very frequently fall into the same, tired old sexist tropes we’ve seen dozens of times before and we never actually learn anything significant about them outside of their lives with the Doctor. Look at this very episode. Amy loses her baby, but she never reacts in a believable or empathetic way. She just resorts to her sassy putdowns and pointing guns at people because that’s the only way Moffat knows how to write women. In fact Amy isn’t even that independent. In a rather telling scene, the Doctor asks Rory’s permission to hug Amy as though she’s Rory’s property as opposed to the strong, independent woman she apparently is. Moffat keeps insisting he’s a feminist and yet he doesn’t see anything wrong with a woman not being able to hug another man without her husband’s permission first.
This is the biggest reason why I hate Moffat as a writer so much. It goes beyond the plot hole riddled stories, the convoluted series arcs and the bad characterisation. Moffat is a man more concerned with looking progressive rather than actually being progressive.
So anyway, the Doctor and Rory (who is dressed in his Roman gear for some stupid reason) manage to save Amy without a single drop of blood being spilt (you know, if you don’t count the Clerics that got killed by the Headless Monks during the Doctor’s deception or the millions of Cybermen that the Doctor kills just to make a point. Brief side note, why would the Cybermen know or care where Amy is? Okay their Legion monitors everything in that particular quadrant, but somehow I doubt that extends to pregnant women. Plus it’s highly unlikely the Cybermen would want to divulge any information after you’ve just blown them up).
Actually it’s a shame that the Headless Monks were wasted on this stupid series arc because I actually thought they were a pretty cool idea. The theology is well thought out and it could have potentially served as a damning criticism of organised religion (thinking from the heart as opposed to the head. I like it). Instead we get treated to more bollocks. So the Monks, Clerics, Silence and Eye Patch Lady have all teamed up to kill the Doctor because apparently he’s a very bad man. Why do they think that?
Tumblr media
I don’t know! I’ve got no fucking idea! I mean I’m not going to pretend that the Doctor is a saint, but if you want us to believe he’s a dangerous warrior, you’re going to have to show us some actual evidence. And that’s the problem. There isn’t any. Yes the Doctor has killed, but it’s always been for the greater good. To help others who couldn’t defend themselves. He may not be perfect, but he’s a good man at heart. Unless you give me a compelling reason to believe otherwise, I’m just going to snort and roll my eyes. Obviously Moffat isn’t giving us the full story until much later, but all it does is negatively impact this one. Basically, in this episode, the only reason we’re given as to why Eye Patch Lady thinks the Doctor is evil is ‘trust me. He just is.’ Not good enough.
Also, if you want to kill the Doctor, WHY NOT JUST KILL HIM?! He’s standing right there! Don’t let him finish his monologue! Just shoot the fucker! (Also raise your hand if you saw the Flesh baby plot twist coming. If you didn’t, you’re lying).
And it just gets worse when River shows up at the end to lecture the Doctor about how he’s too violent.
Now I’ll repeat that.
River Song, the gun toting archaeologist who massacred a bunch of Silence in her last appearance and clearly enjoyed every minute of it, is chastising the Doctor for being too violent. Fuck off!
And then the moment none of us have been waiting for. Who is River Song? She’s Amy’s daughter.
Tumblr media
Um... I mean... OOOOOOH! Well I did NOT see THAT coming! And here’s me thinking she was Rassilon’s second cousin! Silly me!
Yeah, not only was this head thuddingly obvious what with the aquatic surnames and everything, but also Moffat gave the game away right at the beginning. Melody Pond. get it? Give me fucking strength.
What’s even weirder is that the focus is all out of whack. The reveal is directed more at the Doctor than Amy and Rory (you know, her parents). But why would the Doctor care? And more to the point, why should we care? Okay, River Song is Amy and Rory’s daughter. That’s some interesting information, but that’s hardly mid-season finale material. What we really care about is who River is in relation to the Doctor. And I suspect that’s what the Doctor is more concerned with too. And while I think of it, how is the Doctor learning about River’s true parentage constitute as ‘his darkest day?’ He doesn’t seem to take the news badly or anything. In fact the opposite.
It’s all so mind-bogglingly stupid. A Good Man Goes To War represents the point where Moffat officially starts to disappear up his own arsehole, weaving a convoluted web of bullshit whilst forgetting all the ingredients that make a good story. The answers we’re provided for some of the series arc mysteries are painfully obvious, unsatisfactory and just plain daft, none of the characters act like actual people or behave in a believable way, and crucially I don’t give a shit about anything that’s happening onscreen because at no point does Moffat ever give me a reason to care. Better get used to this folks because these issues are going to become the staple of the Moffat era going forward.
41 notes · View notes
supersoldierfreak · 7 years
Text
Prompts
Send me a prompt xx
I did my patriotic duty
Remember that time when we turned a can of Axe into a flame thrower?
I woke up next to a veteran this morning
So I had a dream last night that involved you
And I didn’t hate it
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone’s soul, it would be you
Thank you for extending my knowledge on the effects of vodka
You always know what to say to make me feel better
Speak of what happened and I will kill you
I’m not above blackmail
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve
It’s really sad I had to specify this but…
I didn’t ask questions
Why can’t I come over and snuggle?
I am taking my rightful place as ruler of the undead appearance wise
You’re doing that ‘overestimating how much I care’ thing again
Good lord you suck at this wake up call
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If I can, after drinking enough vodka to knock out a Russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you the next morning the least you can do is pick up and listen.
I’m like Cupid
The fact you thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind.
I don’t understand it.
You’re a whore with a bow and arrow
It worked
Not the point here, guys
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib
Don’t call the police the police about the strange man passed out in his car.
I’ll collect him later
I love you
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It’s like autocorrect knew you weren’t well endowed
Let’s play a game called ‘Chill the hell out’. You’re the first contestant
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig!
I think I’m at that stage in my life where I subconsciously purposefully mess everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
That doesn’t involve shooting people. Or stabbing them.
I don’t understand how I managed to fuck up so much in an hour and a half
I cried for thirty minutes at the bar before the bartender helped me and gave me free drinks for the rest of the night
I’m confused why you asked me to buy you a life alert at 3:28 this morning
Have a merry Christmas
I’ve been here twenty minutes and a sweaty half naked man has kissed me
What happened?
I thought I told you to wait.
And apparently I tried to pay for a drink with a tampon
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics
.Shut up
I wear heals bigger than your dick
Are you sighing and judging me through the phone right now?
SINCE WHEN IS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA!?
I felt like I didn’t get that across well enough
Is it a bad thing that I’ve made out with everyone I work with?
… well anything sounds bad if you say it like that
Her voice kills me.
Are you just sitting in your room drinking popsicle vodka?
It’s the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover
Fries before guys, foods before dudes, shakes before dates, chips before dicks, lemon bars before football stars, macaroni before screwing’ Tony.
What I’m trying to say I’d can we just have a girls night?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of my mattress when I got into my bed?
How do we have all these hot friends we never do body shots off of?
Not really
Babe
Can we just?
makes grabby hands
What the fuck?
What happened?
I think it is a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I don’t know if you’re aware of this but…
Wow. Damn. Okay.
We’re plotting your demise
We could have the the best hate sex… ever
I’m bonding with your girlfriend
But he’s like a baby bird with his wing broken that I want to FUCK
They pay me to be heterosexual or helpful. I’m going to need a hell of a raise to be both.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue
You’ve never felt ridiculous until you’ve walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So you threw a knife at me last night
I honestly wish I could say I was surprised
Well since you’re literally falling for me, it’s hard to say no.
Oh, wait, let me get some popcorn
When he pulled his dick out I told him he brought a knife to a sword fight
I am so sorry
Watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow
I’m about two and a half drinks away from being gay
I’m coming over
Don’t let go
You’re everything I’ve wanted in a friend
You have questionable morals
Do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs on this plane of reality?
You drink too much
If you don’t want me in your apartment you should get better locks
I just felt emotion and I am not okay with it
My move of emasculating men with my superior intellect isn’t as charming when they can’t see my huge rack.
Why do I feel like I really don’t want to know the end of this?
Go big or go home, am I right?
You’ll never guess whose blood is on my shirt
It was just a casual affair
My apologies
I’ll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future
That’s what you get for having butt ass naked roof top sex at night in the middle of December
Worth it
Fuck you!
I’m the Pilot!
Please and thank you
Just come back with most of you limbs… and that mouth of yours
I hate it when she philosophises on my counter drunkenly
He has the ass of a Greek god, honey
He made me break fast
Not even sober to I understand Latin
Drunk is not a location
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do to right side so now my crotch looks like Cruella Devil
We kind of broke a table while making out
I hate cats
So yes, I’d say it was successful
Pants are for mortals
People like you and me aren’t meant to go for this long without sex
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in organised folders
You forgot the part where I played slip and slide in my own puke and messed up my knee
I was trying to save face
He just got home drunk
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety
It may be a clusterfuck, but I’ll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Why do I like him?
He literally has no redeeming qualities
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes
I’m going to have a badass scar
Yo! Human Dorito, get your ass out here!
We all know that badassery is carried of the xx chromosome
90% threatening to punch him in the dick and 10% actually punching him in the dick.
This is like the walk of shame down memory lane
FYI, At my funeral it’s your job to dramatically throw yourself on my casket
Text me if you’re not dead and wanna have a drink later
I’m confused
I’m constantly crying
Do you know anyone else who comes home with as many unexplainable injuries as we do every night?
You keep asking me questions like I have a magic thing called a memory
I want to kill someone right now but at the same time I just really need cuddles
How do you get the 'hangs out with drunk assholes’ insurance?
I’m still trying to decide whether it’s a compliment or not
It’s the never ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we’ve had a civil conversation was when we both liked pizza
I’d like to subscribe to your Daddy issues
I’m like, not good at living
I did tell you I spoke over 30 languages
I’m sorry I couldn’t bail you out, apparently they don’t take credit cards over the phone.
Listen, I will certainly take anything I can get my little gay fingers on
I don’t know where I am
I make bad decisions on probably a regular basis
I think this guy is dead
We make up for it in dry humour
What fucking idiot decided to make an entire stupid state where you can’t take a damn right turn. Fuck New Jersey
She is so graceful and swan like
Just calling to say thank you for not dying
I’m still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy older than my grandpa
It’s what god put me on earth for
Sorry I wasn’t really responsible earlier. I was really high on adrenaline and very into that car chase
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
How did I get here?
It’s my life mission
It took too long for people to come up with things for 'Never have I ever’ so we changed it to 'Don’t judge me but…’
You ever feel like an organ is just failing you?
If you with any of them tell them I apologise for (insert whatever I did wrong here)
All you did was repeatedly scream 'GET IT IN’
Hold on I’ll be right there; I can’t find my arm
Just because I’m a woman and I’m cranky and irritable right now does not mean I’m on my period.
Babe? It’s shark week.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Did you at least make friends in jail?
Help me?
You just can’t follow orders, can you?
What the hell is Code C?
Between the Marvin Gaye and the candlelit dinner, I’d say you’re trying to woo me baby
What made it obvious?
Hell no! I went out this morning to buy those so you better put them right back down
You’re interrupting date night!
you predictable little shit
You can pay me back in chocolate and cuddles
Will you marry me?
I love you and that scares me.
When I told you to tell the cops, I meant federal agents not the local PD, idiot
Why did you run out the room when I arrived?
I feel like I should know you and I’m really sorry that I don’t
I really really like you
I hate you too. The feeling is mutual.
Happened in Vegas, stays in Vegas
I told you not to get into trouble.
I would tell you it’s a pleasure to see you again but I’d be lying
All I ask is….
Boo! I scared you! I didn’t scare you did I?
I knew you
What did I tell you about touching stuff?
I trusted you
I asked you to stay safe for one mission. For one bloody mission and now look at you.
We should get awards just for turning up when disaster strikes
We haven’t been getting paid for years yet we have potentially the most dangerous job on the planet.
We are so bloody stupid
I need a doctor.
Avengers Assemble. Team bonding session is mandatory. Everybody meet in the common room
You’re such a dork
Do you have any idea how many people are dead because I wasn’t clever enough, wasn’t quick enough, wasn’t strong enough, wasn’t good enough?
68 notes · View notes
authenticaussie · 8 years
Note
Ahhhh, so I was told that you like Marvel stuff and that I was supposed to send you my Marvel AU asks. This is the only one that I can actually ever remember sending anyone, but M/S/A Marvel AU where those three are effectively Coulson, Clint and Natasha. Also Lunarshores said you like my stuff and I honestly cannot even cause I'm just like meep. Anyways, I hope you have an awesome rest of your day cause you deserve to! Also have fun with that thought. Also, what are your thoughts on Budapest?
Commissions! || Ko-fi! 
Welcome too: this ask is literally so old that it existed before we Became Friends. 
ANYWAY FUN TIME HEADCANONS BELOW THE CUT BC I CAN’T THINK OF FIC.
Sabo as the Coulson equivalent (SHIELD spy) and Ace as Widow and Marco is Hawkeye
Marco grew up in the Whitebeard circus and they were super close and really good and supported each other and were a b i t out there, just like performing people are wont to be, but they also….lived a good hundred years ago.
And Marco….just kept living. As his family started dying around him, as the years passed and he just stayed-
Marco can get hurt and has the scars to prove it, but he….he can’t die by anything like old age or sickness, and so he just keeps living. Keeps living as the circus starts to wither into obscurity, keeps living as the last traces of his family vanish like pieces of sand, keeps living and gaining skills and getting stronger and smarter but he can’t ever forget the feeling of watching his family die.  
He was a freelance head hunter/bounty hunter before SHIELD picked him up, and was bored and didn’t know what else to do, so just sighed and agreed to join them. They have a better pay rate, at least, and the healthcare is a nice bonus 
Sabo and Ace used to know each other as kids!! 
But Sabo forgot ;n; Sabo vanished and then Ace was found sneaking out of the facility that was training him and kept under better security. But one of Ace’s missions takes him to Luffy and he doesn’t look back. Grabs the kid he used to call brother and runs. 
And Sabo was the one who brought in Marco and got sent to tail Ace and see if they could convince him to join, because they were close in age, and Ace had killed almost everyone else who’d come after him and Luffy, but then this was Sabo, and he-
He hesitates (he’s never hesitated, before, in his line of work you can’t but this was-)
Ace being so cautious and quiet at first bc they bought in him and Luffy and Ace was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, for them to threaten Luffy to make Ace do something, but that just-
it doesn’t happen. 
It ends up making him Really Jumpy and Fidgety all the time until Marco starts Super Casually refusing orders and giving Ace outs and the ability to choose without any sort of punishments threatening him and letting Ace adjust to SHIELD at his own rate. 
Sabo has retrograde amnesia, and everything close to the explosion the red room (Ace’s institute) organised to kill him is basically gone, but he does have a few scattered memories of Luffy and some bits of Ace that are super blurred. They come back a bit, but that’s mainly because Luffy + Ace fill in the parts he’s missing
Sabo talks Ace through a lot of missions and Marco gets jealous (and denies it ofc, he doesn’t get jealous he’s an adult)
And he ends up casually bringing it up in conversation with Sabo and Sabo gets really startled because he didn’t think anyone had noticed, and then goes really quiet
“Ace- never had anyone on the comms. When he did- missions, before- no-one was there, helping him. I dunno, I guess I just- I just want him to know I’m there. That I won’t leave him to do it alone.”
And everyone thinks sabo will do a bad job because he’s so young, right? But he’s so tactical, he fights so hard to learn because he won’t ever let anyone else die under his command, he won’t let them get hurt, he’s lost people before because he was overconfident and arrogant and rude and he just wants to prove himself!!!
ALSO LOOK I KNOW IT’S A WEIRD SHIP BUT COBY IS CAPTAIN AMERICA AND I WAS THINKING ABOUT SABO AS COULSON WITH HIS Big Gay Crush AND IT’S KIND OF SUPER FUCKING ADORABLE WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT BECAUSE COBY IS JUST SO NOBLE AND HEROIC AND KIND AND SABO’S IN THE BACKGROUND LIKE DYING AND ALSO LIKE “ACE, MARCO, IF YOU TRY AND SET ME UP WITH HIM ONE MORE TIME I AM GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH. I DON’T CARE HOW HIGHLY TRAINED YOU ARE, I’M GOING TO SLAUGHTER YOU.”
But Sab!!!!!!!! Also gets SUPER FUCKING FLUSTERED around Coby, because Coby was basically the original fucking revolutionary 
Basically it’s a Good Fucking Time okay ;u;
(P.S everyone Totally Flirts With Coby because he gets flustered super easily and is like 100% the stereotypes of Dorky Captain America ;u;)
Ace Totally huffs about it and fidgets a lot and is baaaaaaaasically a little envious of all the attention Sabo gives Coby by accident, but they eventually get over that when they’re dealing w/ Ace’s issues w/ self-confidence and it basically turns into the biggest running joke, and !!! Ace befriends Coby because COBY IS SO USELESS AROUND LUFFY!!!! AND ACE THINKS IT’S HILARIOUS!!! BECAUSE LUFFY IS OBLIVIOUS AS FUCK!!! 
MARCO GETS CONTROLLED BY LOKI
and his one rule, his one stipend to working with SHIELD is that he will never ever shoot someone with his bow and he requests missions where killing is avoided at all costs or if unavoidable than only against those of the worst calibre/situations of extreme danger, and Loki makes him break that
Robin (Director Fury) questions Marco’s loyalty for a moment when Marco turns on them and Sabo grabs the table so hard that it almost breaks in his hands and Ace doesn’t even say a word, just leaves. Koala has to quietly explain to her about Marco’s code, and how he’d never do this unless influenced by something else. 
Ace who loves the fact that Marco chose that. Marco chose to never kill, and SHIELD respects that, and Ace knows he doesn’t ever have to be forced to kill - to hurt - ever again. 
Ace talking to Loki to try and find out his plan / where Marco is and Loki only smiles and promises that Ace will find out where Marco is when Marco shoots him through the throat-
And Ace can’t help the fraction of a second where fear almost overwhelms him, because that-
That’s one of his greatest fears. 
That Marco is going to realise how awful Ace is, and  get rid of him. Clear out the mistake he made. 
Ace hiding the fear he feels because he’s been trained and he knows how to do this, he has to figure out what Loki’s plan (he has to save Marco. He has to prove that he was worth it)
ACE LOVING MARCO SO MUCH BUT REFUSING TO SAY IT????? NOT EVEN REALLY REALISING WHAT HE FEELS IS LOVE BUT KNOWING HE’D LAY DOWN EVERYTHING FOR MARCO, IF MARCO NEEDED IT. IF MARCO ASKED IT OF HIM.
When they’re fighting, when Marco’s still under Loki’s control, Marco just whispers so carefully, so pleadingly, for Ace to stop and he almost does because this is Marco-
And then the to-vibrant blue of Marco’s usually dark eyes gives him away and Ace knocks him out and has to swallow the nausea that caused him
(And least Marco will be okay, he thinks, but can’t drive away the thought of Marco’s pleading expression, Marco begging him to stop)
Ace refusing to say that he loves either Sabo or Marco because he’s just- 
He doesn’t think he is in love with them, Love is bright and vibrant and fluttery, messy, nervous feelings, he just feels-
Comfortable. Around them he just feels comfortable 
(That’s not love, right? That’s not-)
and look okay you know what isn’t a good time???
Sabo dying
(or, at least, mar+ace thinking he’s dead ala Coulson)
Ace regretting that he’d never told Sabo how important he was, never telling Sabo how much he meant, and when they get a spare moment he pulls Marco aside and tells Marco that he loves the fuck out of him and Marco’s his best friend and he’d basically do anything??? for Marco???
And it helps Marco as well because he’s suffering some serious trauma from being forced to fucking kill people when he didn’t want to, from being forced to kill innocent men and women who were trying to protect others, from having to fight and manipulate Ace……
whispers marco and ace not. doing anything abt ace’s confession, tho. it’s there, and they both know it, but Marco wants to get better first, and Ace wants time to mourn the fact that for the second time in his life he’s lost his best friend.
And theyre toooootally not dating
even though they move all of marco’s stuff into ace’s room. and have date nights. and marco presses kisses to ace’s forehead whenever ace leans on him (which is often). and ace curls up into marco’s side when they’re sitting on the couch. and they defs don’t hold hands, or press quick kisses to each other’s cheeks just before one of them has to leave on a mission without the other
Totally not dating.
Totally
Not
Dating
And then just when they think everything is going back to normal, when there’s been two years of dealing with grief and pain and growing closer and supporting each other even more intimately than before-
Ace thinks he sees Sabo. For a fraction of a second, on one of their missions, and he barely believes that it is him-
But there’s a moment of surprise and regret on the stranger’s face, and Ace knows it’s him.
SHIELD fixed Sabo with some of Captain America/Coby’s blood and he’s alive but he’s different now. He’s stronger and faster and he just-
notices things. 
Notices how Marco’s fingertips linger on Ace’s hand but Ace doesn’t act like anything is out of the ordinary. Notices how Marco looks like he’s about to kiss Ace before a mission but aborts it at the last second and hides his promise to return in the crook of Ace’s neck. 
Sabo who goes on solo missions because no-one thinks he’s alive and he’s highly-trained and now he’s got super soldier serum in his veins…But he’s there the moment they need him but he’s unable to look at marco and ace 
Looking at how close they are and just realising what he’s missed. Quietly letting them he supported them and cared about them and was sorry in as many ways as he could - through cards, through care, through always having their backs, through trying constantly to protect them, because he could now, in real life instead of just directing them while he sat behind a computer screen. 
(#tfw you can’t figure out who is who in a marvel au bc all the charas are assholes/morally grey)
Carrot is Thor!!!! and Detective Fury is Robin and Maria Hill is Koala
Ace gets confused by language metaphors sometimes!!! But he won’t say it because he hates being seen as weak, or that anything needs to be explained to him. He has to be perfect and in control and mysterious all the time, no-one can know that puns confuse him. 
(Sabo+Marco totally figure it out and always casually explain the joke/idiom so that Ace isn’t left out of the loop, and even when he figures out they’re doing it he can’t ask them to stop.)
They both know how much he hates feeling/looking weak or stupid, and they do!!! everything they can to make sure he doesn’t feel like that,,,,,,,,,,
7 notes · View notes