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catcatb0y · 1 year

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I'm procrastinating fuck

#the only reason I'd even think about interacting with someone who has an ov/erh/aul pfp #please enlighten me with your I'm sure glorious takes #I'm sure you have so much to add to this conversation #yeah yeah fictional morales don't equate real morals but he is #you know.#a child abuser- like an unapologetic child abuser #he sees nothing wrong with the way he turned a little girl into a bioweapon for his incredibly hypocritical cause #in terms of devotion and obsession with his boss I could almost see it #but didn't the syndicate LITERALLY tell him 'no that's not what I want' and he just kept going like 'anything you say boss'#so the guy wasn't even doing it for his boss he was just using his boss as a cover #smh #he's just a guy who wants to write y/n yakuza wattpad fanfic #despite being routinely and constantly told by his boss that his actions weren't acceptable or reflective of the claims he made for them #or at least told a couple times #it's been a while since I read and I would never pick it back up any time soon #but I remember thinking the boss wasn't a bad guy #maybe not the kind that would be horrified upon learning his deciple is a child abuser #but at least the sort of person who didn't actually want to return to a hollow past #the worldbuilding in that series left a lot to be desired #but ov/erh/aul was just a bland character #I'M STILL PROCRASTINATING FUCK

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last-flight-of-fancy · 17 days

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... the fact that rain is part of the weather pattern in garlemald tells me its really not as cold as the characters kept complaining

#not that it cant rain in cold places im well aware that it can #and does #(sleet my beloathed)#but it doesn't tend to rain at the TRULY horribly cold temps #yknow. the -40 stuff. which is what i was assuming was garlemald's status at least at the time of the msq #I KNOW THIS IS JUST ME BEING CANADIAN AND I SHOULD'VE BEEN TAKING INTO ACCOUNT THAT-#-ALL THESE CHARACTERS ARE FROM PLACES THAT PROBABLY ONLY SEE SNOW A COUPLE WEEKS A YEAR #(except ishgard. obv.)#but i get told its Bloody Fucking Cold im gonna assume Bloody Fucking Cold #not -5 plus a wind chill #(hallima gets a pass bc he's borderline cold blooded lol)#stop talking to yourself flight #ff14 #ff14 endwalker

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peaches2217 · 8 days

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I’m gonna need some encouragement.

I’m telling my dad tonight that I’m trans.

#I’ve been making arrangements to convince him to let me remain where I’m at so long as I still keep paying my bills #otherwise I’ve got backup plans for if he kicks me out of the RV but not if he takes my car #I’ve got enough money I can rent a hotel for a couple of days at the absolute least #he’s assured me multiple times that he wouldn’t kick me out no matter what I told him but I know I can’t trust that #but it’s getting harder and harder to hide. he’s noticing things. it’s best to tell him up front #I can handle him not being happy if he really DOESN’T kick me out and cut me off! I don’t expect him to ever accept it #but if he changes his mind…#if I go radio silent for a while it’s because I’m homeless and trying to get my shit together 😅

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purpurussy · 2 months

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#tw suicide #idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT #i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone #and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess #but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm #but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing #hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse #to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house #and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like #to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age #but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me #also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently #tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me #i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship #but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation #i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself #and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons #most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks #idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear #this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly #sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point #and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have #the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona #so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem #anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope

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seariii · 8 months

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Hum...

#im just thinking... im okay tho /gen #just thinking about the words the bestie said to me after I told him about my mental health...#particularly a phrase... he just said 'you are already committed' and when i asked what he meant he said 'to life'#its just... idk... it was impressive and had such a weird feeling... sadly i guess i am committed........ 'sadly' huh....#sigh another important thing was that it was crucial i went back to therapy... i dont really want to tho...#but 'youve been feeling like this for a long time you need help' ... sigh... what i need is...#the future is so scary... sigh... okay #ill put an alarm to wake up earlier tomorrow and work on that!#seari talks #what i need is adderall- jsjsjsjsjs yeah... alr im sleepy time to mimir #tomorrow ill catch up with everything i missed too #also if anyone reads this dont worry pretty person! i got a bit scared/upset up there but its okay #im quite stable right now! at least enough to survive for a couple days! so yup!#miiiight have to look up a new therapist tho... since aside from help i wanna get a diagnosis....#sigh... but okay that's not for rn seari it's for future seari. rn seari has to go mimir because shes tired #a mimir a mimir pat pat pat

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terrorbirb · 6 months

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I'm bored at work so I'm seeing if I should report my old company for violating labor standards.

#totes bro #im so close but it is so obvious it would be me because i used to complain about this all the time #they dont inform their immigrant workers of their rights and so they dont like understand how their timecard works #and thr company advises them to take the least expensive insurance policy because they 'are healthy and don't need it'#but i know one couple wants fertility treatments but couldnt afford it because of that #they dont have the required posters #they also knowingly continue osha violations which i held a meeting over and was told this doesnt apply to us #which uhm it says it does on the Web site so i disagree #all of this is like why i left and what caused me to leave #and literally lying to me and another guy that we would get promotions for the work we did #and then they hired someone else to do the job making our promotions unnecessary and they were like hmmmm sorry #idk they like got a ton worse and i think the president got more reactionary which caused this #not sure how many of these count but thats not for me to decide anyway #oh and cleanliness standards but i actually fixed a lot of those..... fulfilling the role that promotion role that was promised #my coworkers here are like 'absolutely report the hell out of that place' because we do code violations lol #every time i say something they go 'that could be a violation :)'#they paid someone on a salary basis when they were under the salary pay and therefore should have gotten overtime

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lesbiansanemi · 9 months

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Do you think if I wish hard enough my mom will get electrocuted by a string of Christmas lights and just go up in a cloud of smoke. It’d be a Christmas miracle

#I’m not even DOWN THERE YET and I want to fucking KILL HER #I have to work Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas. I live four hours away from my family #I told her this MANY TIMES I said I’ll drive down after work on Christmas Eve be there Christmas morning but I need to leave by 3-4 to get #home at a reasonable hour so I can have time to unpack/catch up on a couple days of chores/get plenty of sleep #she called me last night and told me she didn’t schedule Christmas stuff until SIX PM #and when I said why tf did you do that I’m not staying that late #she got mad and upset and was like ‘it’s the only time everyone is free :(‘#BUT THEN proceeded to tell me we were having lunch with her HUSBAND’S family at noon #(ppl I am not close with never have been literally don’t talk to)#and everyone I know is like ‘just leave when you said you were going to anyways’#and like yeah I could but then my family is gonna be ENRAGED that I didn’t do Christmas stuff with them #and they’re like ‘well explain that your mom didnt listen to when you said you needed to leave’#but the thing is. no matter what. they’re going to take her side #I should sacrifice my time and comfort to spend time with them because they’re FAMILY #never mind that literally not a SINGLE ONE OF THEM has EVER come up to visit me #IM always expected to drive down there. but that sacrifice doesn’t count it’s not good enough #but if I stay that late I won’t be getting home until AT LEAST midnight or later #cuz my family has no fucking concept of time so if it starts at six that means it doesn’t ACTUALLY start until 7 so most of them might be #there by 8 so I’ll be expected to stay until at least 10 to sufficiently catch up with all of them #I’m going to scream I’m going to cry #if I leave early I’m the awful ungrateful terrible bitch who never comes to see any of them #but none of them could adjust their days by just a few hours to see me before I needed to leave #FOR MY FUCKING JOB !!!!!!!! SOMETHING COMPLETELY OUT OF MY CONTROL #and like the thing is. my piece of shit manipulative bitch mother #I KNOW she did this on purpose #I know she didn’t plan this until six to FORCE me to stay longer because she was mad I wasn’t staying long #(again… because of work… something I can’t control)#so she’s orchestrated this to put me in this position #where I have to suck it up and stay and be exhausted and have tired migraines for a week cuz I get only a couple hours of sleep and then #or leave and make everyone pissed. I hate her so FUCKING much

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glowstickia · 2 months

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Why must my residents like romance movies…

#As told by glow #I am suffering lmao like some of them are fine?#I want to strangle some of the characters in the movie tho like so badly #At least my residents are getting a kick out of it. Heard them chuckle a couple times

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autumnrory · 3 days

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i rmr when all the initial meta around endgame was coming out people were talking about steve being depressed and whatnot and it's like well yeah but he's BEEN depressed, like he woke up alone in this century and he kept going, now i can understand it being worse this time after finding a family and getting bucky back and losing them all except of course that's not why endgame steve was on about so like......the people writing meta were trying to connect these things that of course weren't really there on screen because that simply wasn't our steve

but i think it really could've been SO interesting to see this is the thing that finally makes steve stay down like he's lost so much and he just CAN'T keep fighting like i get some people think that's what they were going for but considering the ending......it's really not. and so i'm just thinking about a version after iw, maybe he gets some of the thor treatment except not turning his depression into a dumb fatphobic joke lol and maybe nat and others are trying to get through to him and it just doesn't work and then we get some flashbacks (which you could have done for all the original avengers actually which would be particularly important for bruce and nat and clint who did not have their own trilogies) including his mom telling him "you always stand up" and THAT being the thing to finally get him moving like it would've been such a perfect way to finally show sarah rogers some respect and ACTUALLY show steve really struggling instead of whatever they tried to do with him in that movie

#steve rogers #mcu #anti endgame #why am i still rewriting this movie five years later #really though i think i rmr just trying to work through it all #and a lot of the meta i was reblogging initially still wasn't really accurate to endgame or the rest of the mcu #like they were still making steggy more important than it canonically was while trying to explain why it was a bad ending #and it's kind of like you can say steve would respect that peggy had a life and wouldn't interfere with it but that's about it like #going on about how he DID love her so much and just wouldn't be selfish enough to do those things #or that she was soooo important to his moral compass (hence why so many fic writers had her telling him to go back to bucky lol insanity)#are just not accurate lmao i do think much as she may be rightfully disliked #while canonically he did not LOVE her he did respect her even if we think that's annoying bc she's an asshole to him in catfa #but yeah no he had a moral compass before her i understand what people were going for with the compass being symbolic but like....#any time she said anything did he listen? except for maybe when she told him he was meant for more? it really doesn't seem like it #nor did he need it! jesus! the whole point of catfa is he was chosen for a REASON he was already a good man #he did not need peggy 'sure i'll let nazis into shield' carter to teach him shit #but yeah it was bc i followed one stucky blog at the time who was reblogging a lot of good shit but a lot of that nonsensical shit too #and i was just reblogging it all bc everything sounded better than endgame #and i really did start seeing more of the discussions around peggy where her culpability in catws hadn't even occurred to me #bc i was so in fic from the beginning of joining fandom that not only was their relationship made as impt as stucky #it was also made out like what happened to shield was hurting her legacy and it's like...but she had to have at least SOME responsibility #and yeah eventually it's like okay no it's not just that steve wouldn't Do That it's also that they would've been a terrible couple #and not only would he not be so selfish but he wouldn't give up everything for HER lmao but he would've for bucky as was shown over and ove

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that-starlight-prince · 13 days

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In most ways I don't have the clubber's temperament but I do in one respect at least: if I have enough to drink and there's music playing I really enjoy dancing

#i will then be very self conscious about it the next day when i'm sober and try my best to forget it ever happened #but it has happened at least a couple of times #i think i already told the story of the girl dragging me across the club by my shirt collar to give me a drink right #that's the only time i ever went to a legit nightclub #lore

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copia · 1 month

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GRAPHIC NATURE & CASEY at the heavy music awards 2024 (two of the only photos i've got)

#not that anyone is interested but this is a blog and i'm blogging #the graphic nature photo was during killing floor i believe #that was such a good time. he killed it on that floor #they were my favourite tbh #put on such a good show on top of some of the best live music i've ever heard #his energy is genuinely terrifying #but so much fun #unpeople were also there. sorry unpeople i loved u but have no good photos. really enjoyed ur unsettling vibes #not to keep rambling about this show but it sealed the deal for me about a couple of ?? lifestyle choices i guess #... and my bio exam went ok #i've passed that at least #it wasn't going to go perfectly in any universe #but if i'd told myself 6 months ago i'd be going to smth like this the day before an exam i would have thought i'd gone off the rails #which maybe i have #but that's alright #anyway. yeah #graphic nature come back to london plsplsplsplspls #i will be there no matter what #heavy music awards #casey #graphic nature

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robinsnest2111 · 1 month

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suddenly hit with the fact all that's left of grandma is a grocery bag filled with her remaining soaps and lotions and the two picture frames filled with family photos...

...my mother told the care facility to get rid of everything else, even the little knitted cat and knitted flower bouquet I gifted my grandma ages ago. that's fine. she didn't remember those were gifts I gave grandma. it's been so long already. it's fine.

#at least i still have that rose pattern mug my grandma got me at a plant nursery several years ago #when she was still clearheaded and strong enough to be pushed around in a wheelchair for a couple hours for little trips outside #sigh... can't believe it's all gone now. past times. never to return. weird feeling #also still no set date for the funeral...#vent #sorry just. thoughts.... processing things i've been told/have seen earlier today

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tariah23 · 11 months

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My sister is doing so well at the spa where she works as an LMT at 😭…