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#or even if it had told me WHAT THE PROBLEM WAS THE FIRST TIME!!
laughingfcx · 3 days
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3+1: THREE TIMES MEGUMI GIVES YOU SOMETHING, AND ONE TIME YOU RETURN THE FAVOUR.
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megumi, water :: it's hot — thirty-five degrees, to be exact, and of course you've forgotten to bring water, and the only canteen nearby only takes cash, no change. in short: you're melting.
you're draped over a lunch table, cheek pressed against the cool (but rapidly warming) metal. oh, what you'd do for a drink right now—
suddenly, you can hear footsteps behind you, coming closer with each passing second.
hi, megumi. you can tell it's him without even looking.
hi yourself, he replies, slipping into the chair next to you. a small bottle of water is slid your way; he does not look at you, but the gesture speaks for itself.
thank you.
don't.
don't what?
don't thank me.
you've had this conversation a million times before.
just because we're best friends doesn't mean you have to—
i do it cause i want to, okay? he turns to you, annoyed. all you can think about is how pretty he is.
megumi, company :: frat parties are scary. you don't know why you're here; nobara and maki have already disappeared too. it's packed, sweaty, scary. you squeeze through the crowds to climb out of a window and escape the heat. you know you can't leave until you find your friends, though, so for now, sitting on the dewy grass in the backyard will have to suffice.
megumi was right, you think.
don't go, he'd said, sprawled out on your bed, arms around one of the plush animals on your bed. it's tucked under his chin, and he looks adorable.
why not? you'd asked him.
it's not worth it, he scoffed. couldn't pay me a billion yen to go.
you should've listened—
can i say i told you so?
megumi?
he ignores you; or are you gonna start crying? you definitely—
you launch yourself up from the ground into his arms, laughing. i thought you said you weren't gonna come!
i had a feeling this'd happen. the slightest hint of a smile graces his lips. couldn't leave my favourite alone now, could i?
what? say it again, i think i heard wrong.
his smile widens; he shakes his head.
megumi, power bank, his heart ? :: my phone's dying, you sigh.
no response.
my phone's dying, you repeat, louder.
say please. he's desperately fighting a losing battle, the corners of his lips twitching.
please, megumi, give me the power bank!
you snatch it greedily from his hands, connecting it to your phone.
no thanks?
thank you, megumi! you throw your arms around his neck suddenly, and he is glad that you cannot see the blush on his face.
megumi always carries power banks with him. it's a known fact by now; he always has one on him. meanwhile, your phone is always dying. what a coincidence!
or not.
because one day, you overhear him talking to yuji. you're not really listening, scrolling on your phone when you hear your own name.
it's only because of y/n that i need a backpack in the first place, megumi grumbles. otherwise, everything else fits on my pockets.
then don't? to yuji, the problem is easy to fix.
but they need it.
so?
megumi makes a grumbly noise in his throat; so cute, you think.
oh yeah, says yuji. i forgot you're horribly in love with them and everything you do is somehow connected to them.
oh.
they're here, by the way, he adds.
what? did they hear?
i don't know, yuji replies unhelpfully.
you barely manage to get your earphones in before they walk in.
you, flowers, chocolates, your heart ? :: today is the day. to say you're nervous is a huge understatement. your hands are shaking, palms sweaty, and you're shivering, even though it's not that cold. the flowers and chocolate wait patiently for you on your desk.
megumi, you say aloud to the empty room. megumi, i like you and—
fuck.
megumi, you begin again. i've liked you for a long time and—
who've you liked 'for a long time'? megumi looks mildly interested as he walks in. you always get kind of lonely around this time so i thought i'd come to hang out.
his voice is even, but you amidst the normal calm, you sense something controlled. like he's actually sad, or something.
no one!
yeah? he hums. i'm not buying it, but i won't push you.
fuck him! why does he always have to be this respectful? if he asked you, you wouldn't not have answered!
who gave you the flowers?
i bought them myself! you squeak.
he raises a brow at how high-pitched your voice is. for?
um.
you see the way he stiffens visibly, hand tightening around your doorknob. he swallows, and then, sorry for overstepping, y/n.
no!
what?
you're not overstepping, you tell him. you have every right to know. we're best friends, right?
... right, he responds, but there's something missing; he's clammed up, retracted into himself. his voice is forced into not showing any emotion, and he's backed away a little bit from you.
your heart breaks at the sight.
megumi, i like you!
you're shitting me, he replies.
no, really! also, i hope you don't mind, but a few weeks ago i heard yuji and you talking, and he said something, and—
stop talking, he murmurs. i want to kiss you.
megumi has never been greedy. be selfish, gojo's told him. he's never listened — he's had no reason to, after all. yet... right now, he understands. it's all he can think about — getting something he wants, getting it now.
when he makes his way back to you, all he can think of is how kissing you will feel. when he is kissing you, he realises that he wants this forever. so he lets himself be a little selfish, and tells you he loves you, and asks for the one thing he'd thought he'd never have — you.
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new freaky writing style LOL only for this one though... also 3+1 because im lazy and sad and unmotivated. also grammatical errors highkey & im sorry.
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hedgehog-moss · 2 days
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hello & good morning/afternoon/night! feel free to ignore this ask if you don't want to or don't know how to answer. i have been following your blog for years now, i think, and i have been accompaning your life through the pictures you post. i always had similar dreams of living in a farm or just in a more "secluded" place in general - hiddem away from big cities, i mean, closest place being a small town or even village, you know - and though i have lived alone for 2 years now i have a lot of fears of living by myself in ambient where there is relatively less people (even if there are neighbors not that far away). yknow, classic fears, of being robbed, my house being broken into, etc etc. once again i know it's a different world and the probability of something like this happening is actually higher in places with a bigger populational number, but have you ever had experiences like this? have you ever felt a similar fear? i'm trying to find out if this is something i really want.
Hi ! I love that I read your message last week right after I fondly reminisced about hearing murder screams in my woods at night. I've been thinking about it and I think regardless of what statistics say, some people feel safer surrounded by people in a town while others feel safer in more secluded places—I mean there's probably a personal temperament aspect to this... I've always loved going out for walks in the middle of the night but I couldn't fully relax doing that in cities, while here I find it so relaxing. It's so dark and quiet it feels like walking at the bottom of the ocean <3 It's the closest I can get to the peaceful life of the sea cucumber. And since I'm alone in this forest and there's no one for several km around I feel like nothing bad can happen to me. But I have city friends who would never consider going for a walk with me in the woods at night.
Can't recommend having a medium-to-large dog enough! Despite his debonair manner Pandolf is a good guard dog—one time that I got to test this was when someone parked their car on the side of the road maybe 300m from my house, and stayed there for almost a week. It wasn't a camper van, just a normal car, and every time I went to see it during the day it was empty, but I saw lights in there at night. I didn't like it at all! Why park here in the middle of nowhere. Near my house. This isn't a convenient spot to fish or anything, so where are you all day...? I remember the night I noticed the light in the car from my window, and I sat in my bed like, okay, someone's over there, but even if he gets to my door I have 2 other ways to get out of the house, my nearest neighbours are like 40min away by foot through the woods, I know my woods better than this guy, I'll be fine.
It's the only time that I recall feeling a bit antsy at night—and Pandolf was very alert as a result, he could tell I was nervous and when I went to close the chicken coop in the evenings he went patrolling all over the place in a way he doesn't usually do. I have a natural talent for not doing anything about problems and hoping they'll go away on their own, but after a few days I eventually told a distant neighbour about this weird car, and he came the next evening to talk to this person—but the car left that same day. And when my neighbour came to tell me he hadn't found the car, it was already dark and he parked his car in front of my house and at first Pandolf refused to let him get out. Even though he knows this neighbour and the guy had half-opened his door and was like "Hey Pandolf it's me!", Pan just stood there growling continuously like Cujo. It was good to see that although he's a really friendly dog, if I'm freaked out he can get quite intimidating.
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Other than that one weird car story I've never really felt scared being here alone at night, and I didn't worry about that before moving here either, I was impatient to go on nighttime walks in the woods, rather! But having neighbours I'm on friendly terms with that I can call for help if needed, and whose house I can reach by foot, is reassuring; so I think mostly it's a matter of finding the degree of seclusion you're comfortable with. There are all sorts of gradations between living in a big city and living like the first Desert Father :) Is there any way you could try spending some time alone in a more remote area for temporary stays, like holidays, to see if you get used to it and come to appreciate it, or if you feel safer in more populated places?
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xoxochb · 1 day
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percy with a psyche daughter plsss
— lust for life
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warnings: none? kind of soulmate au I suppose pairing: percy jackson x daughter of psyche a/n: nonnie I wasn’t sure if you wanted a fic or hcs so I just did hcs because I’m working on a psyche! reader x percy fic right now
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୨୧ when percy first saw you he was absolutely enamored— a gorgeous daughter of psyche, and dare he say the aphrodite girls had nothing on you
୨୧ you were nervous at first, psyche is the goddess of the soul meaning you feel things deeper than anyone else, meaning it was easy for you to get attached
୨୧ and you loved percy, that was your problem. but so did tons of other people at camp and you weren’t prepared to get your heart broken
୨୧ but little did you know percy adored you just as much, perhaps even more than you love him, and he wasn’t going to let you slip from his fingers
୨୧ you were close friends, yes, but speaking to you know, confessing his undying love for you was nerve wracking as hell
୨୧ you were uneasy as he spoke, twiddling with your fingers and pulling at your clothes until percy took both of your hands gently
୨୧ you explained to him why you were unsure of being in a relationship, but he thoroughly reassured you that he didn’t want any other girls, just you, only you— the girl relentlessly occupying his mind at all times
୨୧ spoiler warnings: you gave into his irresistible charms
୨୧ but once your relationship progressed you found that he would stay loyal to you and his words
୨୧ anyways, relationship hcs
୨୧ psyche kids have this power were they can read/see people’s aura color so you use this to your advantage to percy’s current mood. you told him about this ability and that idiot wouldn’t let it go
୨୧ literally every second— “what’s my color now” — “what color am I?” — “what color makes me look the sexiest?” (it’s blue bee tee dubs)
୨୧ + psyche kids are definitely good at consoling/comforting people (psychiatrists wink wink) so whenever percy is down he’ll go to you for comfort (but he would’ve regardless of your godly parentage to be honest)
୨୧ you’re very gentle too, with both words and actions, your voice has such a soft tone to it making percy absolutely melt into you
୨୧ he loves laying his head in your lap, he’s such a softie, especially when you card your fingers through his raven hair slowly— it’s his favorite
୨୧ or even when you kiss him gently, your lips pink and oh so soft, he always finds himself pulling you back in after just a peck
୨୧ back to your abilities, psyche kids are almost like an oracle, they can see people differently than everyone else
୨୧ which was something you weren’t sure you could do until percy came along
୨୧ it was during your first kiss when you saw the vision: a string tangled into one hand and another, slowly but surely making their way to each other until connecting at last, soulmates you had known it as
୨୧ but after that his aura always appeared with tiny hearts no matter the mood
୨୧ you knew now, you’d find each other in this and every universe, the adoration failing to falter
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frostiwars · 2 days
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day 2!! first kiss!!
LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO I DID IT
say hello to my kirby gijinka yaoi doujinshi manga
prose version will be under the cut! i'm so proud of myself for getting this done on time!
King Dedede and Meta Knight trailed through the halls of the palace, a cool tension still hanging between them. Meta Knight and Kirby had recently returned from their escapades in the Mirror Dimension, and Meta had just finished telling Dedede all the relevant details. A tumultuous mixture of pride and irritation swam through the king’s chest. 
“Yeah, that’s great ‘n all, but why didn’t ya tell me you were headin’ out on a dangerous mission like that?”
“...It didn’t seem relevant. I intended on dealing with this issue on my own, and it was only through sheer coincidence that Kirby happened to be nearby.”
“More like luck. You woulda been dead right now if it weren’t for that kid.”
“That is highly unlikely,” the knight retorted. “I would have been able to escape and take them down eventually.”
“And while that happened, Dreamland mighta crumbled without ya!”
“What, are you saying that you and Kirby wouldn’t have been able to keep things in shape if I weren’t here?”
Dedede spluttered. “N- no! I just- I don’t like the idea that-” He suddenly halted when he realized they were finally at his chamber doors. He eased them open roughly, mumbling to himself. The king only spoke again when they’d slammed shut behind him and Meta Knight. 
“I don’t want ya t’get hurt is all.”
“I am a warrior. Getting injured is inevitable.”
“NO! Not- that ain’t what I meant! I care about you, ya moron! I care about all my subjects!”
Meta Knight heaved a sigh. From Dedede’s perspective, it seemed he was dismissing whatever affection he had for the Voidborn…
But truthfully, Meta Knight wished the king’s care for him was more than just a king loving his loyal subject. He wished… No, it was selfish of him to want such a thing. He should be grateful enough as it is that Dedede accepted him back after the stunt he pulled a year or so ago. 
“I appreciate the sentiment…” was all he could muster up in reply. Dedede scoffed and sat down roughly on his bed, crossing his arms. 
“I guess that’s all I’m gonna get with ya, huh? Sheesh…”
A silence fell over them. Meta Knight clenched and unclenched his fists, unsure of whether to release his cape from his grip. If he really desired affection from the king that much, then shouldn’t he at least make some effort to show some vulnerability? The least he could do was stop hiding behind his cape like a child. But no, he couldn’t even do that…
“I… was just… trying to make things up to you…” he eventually murmured. 
“...Huh?”
“I didn’t want to ask for help. This was… this was supposed to be part of my atonement for my misdeeds against Dreamland. Against… you. But I see now that was a foolish endeavor.”
Dedede diverted his gaze away from the knight, opting to stare out the window at the sunset. Again and again, he tried to forget that incident with his best knight never happened. But he kept… bringing it up! What was his problem anyway? It was a damn embarrassment, more than anything else. For BOTH of them. Why Meta didn’t want to just forget about it was beyond him. 
“I don’ really care about that, y’know. You don’t gotta keep kickin’ yourself for somethin’ I already…” He didn’t want to say he ‘forgave’ him for it. Because he couldn’t forgive someone for something that they never explained to him. He just… wanted to ignore it. Like he ignored all his problems. 
“You may want to forget it, but I don’t wish to make the same mistake again. The only way that I can end that incident is if I properly atone for it.”
Dedede clenched his fists. “Y’know what would REALLY help atone? Actually tellin’ me WHY you did it in the first place!”
“I already told you why.” Meta Knight had to resist every urge in his body to not shout back at his king. Arguing like this would not help matters. “I disagreed with the lazy lifestyle of this country and your lackadaisical approach to ruling your people. I thought I would be better suited for the throne. It was a ridiculous notion. That was all.”
“NO! No it AIN’T! That CAN’T be it!”
“WHY?” he finally snapped back, letting his cape flow loose behind him as he gestured with his arms. “What reason do you have to believe that??”
“Because I- I mean I was TRYIN’! I was doin’ better! I- I tried to stop Nightmare and I- I almost did- I-” Dedede crossed his arms and gripped the fabric of his coat. “I tried t’fight back against that Dark Matter creep and- I- I know I didn’t win, but I tried my best… I was really tryin’ to be a better king for once. And- and what do I get for it?!”
He pointed accusingly at Meta. “My best knight tries to overthrow me! NO! I DON’T get it! Was I not ENOUGH!? Should I’a just TRIED HARDER?! Oh, sure, let me just STOP MYSELF from gettin’ possessed next time! That was MY FAULT, wasn’t it?! It was MY FAULT Kirby couldn’t just keep t’themself and had to go huntin’ all across the country just cuz a couple brats couldn’t stand a few bad dreams! Yeah- I shoulda TRIED harder!!”
At this point, the king was on his feet and practically in a rage. Meta Knight clenched his fists and tried not to step back. He had to stand his ground. But… but he didn’t realize…
Well, of course it made sense. He thought that Meta Knight thought he deserved it. That wasn’t what he meant at all… but he never told him that either. 
“It wasn’t your fault…” Meta Knight spoke in a low, almost gravelly tone. “That was the entire problem.”
Dedede’s breath still huffed in rage, but he waited for the knight to continue.
“I… those things never should have happened the way they did in the first place. You hid the truth of what you did to the Dream Fountain because you didn’t think the people could handle it. You were possessed by that demon because no one was keeping a proper eye on you… No one was doing their damn job. It was JUST you… just you and Kirby… and Kirby is a mere child.”
“What’re you sayin’??”
“I- It’s not just that. There was more. So much more I didn’t even know about. I looked into the history of Dreamland, and I looked into… your past as well.” At that, Dedede flinched, imperceptibly to himself but noticeable to Meta Knight. “There was so much, so many piled up incidents that I realized… you’re not… you’re not safe being the king of Dreamland.”
Dedede grit his teeth and his eyes widened. “Are you sayin’ I’m too WEAK to handle this shit?! Are you KIDDING ME!? THAT’S YOUR EXCUSE?!”
Meta Knight backed up against the wall as the king drew closer, his utter hatred fully palpable. “N- No- that’s not what I meant at all! I just-”
“You can’t just- I can’t BELIEVE you! What do you think I am?! Do you think I’m some pathetic kid that needs t’be coddled or something?!”
“Of course not- I don’t- It’s not as if I still think that- I really did- DO want what’s best for you-”
“HA! That’s the biggest pack of lies I’ve heard in a LONG time! And that’s sayin’ something, considering how much you lie to me ALL THE TIME.” King Dedede slammed his foot against the ground, almost leaving chips in the tiled floor. Meta Knight pushed past him and ran off a few feet, trying to escape the increasingly claustrophobic atmosphere. But he was still in the same room. All he did was run closer to the bed. 
But Dedede didn’t follow him. He just… glared at his back from across the room. Meta Knight leaned over, trying to calm his hyperventilation. This never would have happened if he had just… been honest with himself. King Dedede was right… he was right about him, all along. All he ever did was lie. 
He spoke through deep breaths. “You’re… right… I’m still lying to you… even now… I can’t ever… just be honest with myself… can I..?”
Dedede didn’t reply beyond taking a few steps closer to him. He reached forward to turn Meta Knight around so he would quit hiding from him, but his hand froze in the air.
Meta’s hand reached up and unclasped the latch holding his mask to his head. The bit of hair normally tamped down by the leather sprung up… his mask… now dangled loosely by his hip.
But he didn’t turn around.
King Dedede had never seen Meta Knight’s face before. Well, strictly speaking, that wasn’t true, but they were both kids at the time. He didn’t know at all what he looked like now, or why he so desperately tried to hide his face at all times. 
What was his game here?
“You’re right… my king. I have been hiding so many things from you. I’ve been lying to you, and I’ve been lying to myself. For almost a year… maybe more…”
“Uh…” This time, Dedede was the one who had to resist the urge to take a step back. The shock of Meta Knight removing his mask, even if he couldn’t see his face, was more than enough to cool down his head. “L- look I… I didn’t mean t’- I shouldn’ta said those things. I’m sorry- I’m sure you didn’t mean it like that and I- uh- I don’t even care anymore-”
“Now YOU are lying,” Meta Knight shot back coldly. “This has been bothering you for a while. And it will continue to bother you until I speak honestly. Correct?”
Damn him… of course he was right. But he didn’t WANT to admit Meta was ever right about anything. “Look, if you drop it, I’ll drop it.”
The knight’s voice shook in a way Dedede had never heard before. “No… I really shouldn’t keep lying… I might never see you again after this. But I need you to know my most honest, genuine self before that happens.”
“Wh- wait- wait what’dya mean I might not-” He didn’t want to go THAT far! He was just a bit mad, he didn’t- 
In one swift motion, Meta Knight spun around to face his king and grabbed his face in both his hands, pulling him down to his level. He stood on his toes and practically smashed their lips together, locking them in his with an intense, almost burning warmth. Dedede’s eyes shot wide open, but all he could see was his knight’s eyes creased shut, an almost pained expression on his face.
For a split second, Dedede considered resisting… but in an instant he realized what this meant… the implications of this kiss paired with the declaration of worry for the king’s safety… to such an extent that he would try to take his place… 
It’s not just because he thought he was weak… no… it’s because he genuinely cared… about HIM. He… was in love with him.
Someone was in love with King Dedede so much that he would tear the world apart to keep him ‘safe.’
He’d never felt such a painful joy in his heart before. 
Had… had no one ever made him feel loved like this before..? Is that why it hurt so much..? Or was it Meta Knight’s misguided plan that hurt even more? Did he really misunderstand him so much that… he didn’t realize Dedede wouldn’t want something like that?
No… he knew he was wrong… he’d proved himself to Dedede twice over now. He protected this planet during the Crystal Shard Hunt, and just now, he managed to save the Mirror Dimension from Dark Mind. He proved that he could be trusted. And he’d made it clear time and time again that he knew he was wrong.
Dedede pressed his hands against Meta’s, holding him in place and leaning into the kiss. He squeezed his eyes shut, relishing in this sensation he didn’t recognize.
This love he didn’t recognize.
Is this what love feels like too? This burning in his chest? This pounding of his heart? He did value Meta Knight as his best warrior up until now… and he didn’t realize they could ever be more than that. He felt as if a whole new world of possibilities had opened up to him. Like seeing color for the first time after a lifetime of gray.
If this was what love felt like, he’d be more than happy for seconds. 
Eventually, Meta Knight pulled away and gently opened his eyes. As Dedede did so as well, he was instantly struck by the knight’s face.
He was… beautiful.
Those glowing, golden eyes framed by sun-darkened skin and deep-blue locks… that deceptively youthful face contrasted against the harsh, visceral scarring… 
It was just like him, wasn’t it? Of course a person with a nightmarishly deep voice would come out lookin’ like the cutest man this side of Pop Star. He couldn’t expect anything from him, could he?
The man lowered his head, shadowing his face in his bangs. He sounded on the verge of tears as he spoke. 
“I… I understand if you never want to see me again…”
“Wh- NO! No, don’t go!” the king shouted with such desperation that it made his heart ache. He couldn’t just show him what love was and then abandon him! 
“I don’t- I- I understand- you wish to punish me, of course-”
“NO!! NO, no, don’t go- don’t leave- I- I mean- I like- I liked it!!” was all he could splutter out, baffling both of them in the process.
“You… what…?” 
“I mean I- I don’t want you to- I get it! I get it! You… oh geez…” He ran a hand through his hair, pushing up his crown in the process. He didn’t even bother to catch it as it fell to the floor. “I didn’t even realize you felt this way… man, am I dense…”
“No, my king, this isn’t your fault! I- I was hiding it from you all this time because… well, I don’t even know anymore. I couldn’t express myself properly. I couldn’t just be honest…”
“Pff- yeah, you’d rather overthrow the government than just say ‘I like ya.’ SHEESH.” Dedede harrumphed lightheartedly and plastered on one of his classic cheery grins. It was enough to make Meta Knight’s heart skip a beat… and remember why he fell in love in the first place.
He was so happy… all the time, despite everything.
“I love that about you… You really do just… manage to push through everything, don’t you?” 
“Ehaha~ I try my best!” Dedede scratched the back of his head. There was that word again… ‘Love.’
Somebody loved him… He didn’t know that was possible.
Just the very idea made him want to explode. How could he possibly turn this down? Already, the very idea of being in love made his heart race.
Meta Knight… strong, brave, beautiful, determined Meta Knight. His most valued court member, without any doubt. He’d been his best friend at the time of the Fountain of Dreams incident. That was why he trusted him with the pieces.
Even after the betrayal, it only hurt so much because he cared about him so much. Even now, he wanted him safe… The idea of him getting stuck in a creepy alternate dimension… sure, it would frighten anyone… but the whole time, he couldn’t help but think if Meta Knight would make it out alive. Wondering if he’d never see his dear knight again. Wondering if they’d end off their relationship on a tense, unsatisfied note. If they’d never get to reconcile…
It wasn’t unnatural at all, was it? Maybe he just needed it to be put into words. Even admitting it in a roundabout way was good enough, yeah? He wanted this, he realized. He wanted this. 
King Dedede laughed again. “But, uh, t’be honest, you ain’t too bad yourself! I mean, I didn’t even know we COULD be in love but… all the reasons you’re my best knight? They’re the things I like about YOU!” He placed his finger under the knight’s chin, and that gesture alone made both their hearts nearly explode. “So… I guess we’re in the same boat, huh?”
Meta Knight chuckled. “Is that how we want to phrase it?”
“Pfff, alright, since obviously YOU’RE not gonna say it!” Dedede took another step closer. “D’you wanna kiss me again?”
This time, Meta Knight hesitated.
“You’re not… you aren’t disgusted by my face?”
“What? Of course not! You look gorgeous!”
Meta Knight’s blush stickers lit up like fireworks at that compliment, accentuating the natural blush flushing his face ever-darker. He lowered his head once more and had to clench his fists to stop himself from burying his face in his hands. “Th- thank you, my king.”
“No problem ya big dork. Now… why don’t ya… uh…” Eh- heheh… as excited as he was about this, he wasn’t any good with pretty talk. This was his first experience after all. Crap, how do you say ‘kiss me’ in a way that makes someone actually wanna do it?
“Why don’t you show me that love again?”
Yeah… that seemed good enough..!
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bedsyandco · 1 day
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♡ 𝆬 𝐖𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔
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𝓹airing , quinn hughes x leilani tocchet
quinn doesn’t know what he’d do without his brothers and he hopes he never has to find out. him and jack have a habit of meeting at the lake house kitchen when quinn feels like the ground is about to swallow him whole. (wc ; 1.2K )
꒰ 𝓷ote , this is the first piece of my new au (sweet nothing). It’s a prologue of sorts. I am already completely in love with this universe, dad!quinn and everything that’s coming. this takes place before the ‘23-‘24 season. please feel free to drop by the inbox and tell me all your thoughts about quinn, lani and ro ꒱
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quinn doesn’t know how long he’s been sitting at the kitchen counter, counting the drops that are falling into the sink from the leaking faucet. considering he’s counted to 600 something each time, 4 different times before losing count again, one might say a little too long.
drop , drop , drop . . .
the longer quinn stares at the sink, the more annoyed he gets. what a perfect analogy for what his life has been looking like the past few years. problem after problem dropping into his lap, like those drops in the sink, and he’s just supposed to figure out a way to solve them all.
except, much like the leaking faucet he still hasn’t fixed, quinn can’t seem to get a moment to catch his breath before another thing gets added to the long list of problems and responsibilities he has.
the latest wrench thrown in his plans showing up as a 6’2, green eyed Australian whisking his child’s nanny away down under. quinn lets an amused sigh escape, rubbing a hand down his face, and taking a long sip of the warm beer from the can he took out of the fridge hours earlier.
it’s not like this was totally out of the blue. the nanny and the Australian have been dating nearly three years and got engaged last summer. surely quinn should’ve anticipated this move. but for some reason, probably all the other things clouding his brain on a daily basis, he didn’t.
and despite the 2 month head start she gave him on replacing her, quinn still hasn’t found a suitable replacement that meets his standards.
a shadow moving on his left catches quinn's attention but before he can even give a reaction a fist is flying towards his face and hits him square in the jaw, sending his head rearing to the other side.
"what the fuck?!" jack yells, laying a palm flat on his chest, right over his erratic heart, looking at quinn like he was the one who threw the punch, and wasn’t on the receiving end of it.
"jesus jack. the fuck are you doing?" quinn grumles, rubbing his palm over his jaw, the rough hair against his fingers reminding him that he needs to shave.
"what am I doing? what are you doing? sitting here in the dark like you’re contemplating all your life choices,” jack half-jokes, sending his older brother one of his signature grins, but when quinn only releases a sigh as a response jack’s demeanour immediately changes and he pulls out the chair next to quinn’s at the breakfast bar, letting them both bask in the silence for a few seconds.
“last time we had a little bro-to-bro meeting in this kitchen at 4A.M. was when you told me about Rowan. And look, Ro is the best thing that ever happened to this family, but if you’re about to tell me you got someone pregnant again I’m really gonna freak out. I love being an uncle but you gotta learn how to wrap it up—“
“I’m not having another kid Jack. I can barely cope with the one I do have as it is,” quinn mutters, sending his brother an annoyed look that his mind would even jump to that conclusion. Not that he could blame him.
“Thank God. Besides my bet is on Luke and Vi having a kid next. Those two go at it like rabbits, at least now that Luke’s gonna be in Jersey it’ll lower the chances you know?” Jack says and Quinn lets out a soft laugh at his little brother’s disgusted tone.
“Let’s not put that out into the universe,” quinn jokes and jack hums in agreement.
“so if there’s not another little quinn on the way, what’s keeping you up this time of night Quinny?” jack asks softly, bumping his shoulder into his brother’s and Quinn lets out a shaky breath as he meets jack’s worried, blue eyes.
Maybe it’s because those blue eyes remind him so much of his mom’s that Quinn’s resolve melts away immediately as he tells his brother about the latest predicament he found himself in.
“well just start start up interviews again when you get back to Van. Ask some of the guys on the team who has kids, maybe they can recommend you someone they trust,” jack suggests as if quinn hadn’t already thought of and done that himself. jack must have seen the expression on quinn’s face because he doesn’t even let him get a word out before he speaks again.
“I don’t remember you being this selective when we were younger,” jack mutters and quinn scoffs
“yeah well I’m not choosing what toy to play with or who share my snacks with on the playground jack. this is my child’s happiness and safety on the line, I’ll be as selective as I damn well please,” quinn snaps, and jack puts a hand on his brother’s shoulder, squeezing reassuringly.
“it’s gonna be okay. I’m sure you’ll find someone before the season starts. and if you don’t, and it comes to that, i’m sure mom and dad will fly out and be there as long as you need them,” jack suggests and quinn can’t help it as the feeling of panic settles in his chest and wraps around his throat at the idea of his parents rearranging their lives because he can’t get his own together.
he’s the oldest brother. he’s the captain. he’s the dad. he’s supposed to be the one looking after people; helping them figure things out and supporting them, not the other way around.
the thought of burdening others with his problems, physically made him ill. or maybe it was the thought about why he needed a nanny at all. the fear that he wasn’t present enough in his own son’s life. that he was an absent father.
with a mother that couldn’t get rid of him fast enough and a father that couldn’t even put him to bed every night. quinn was bound to screw his kid up for life.
jack’s face comes into view as he twists quinn’s chair, forcing him out of his deprecating thoughts.
“hey , no matter what happens. we got you, okay? someone’s gonna be there. mom, dad, me, luke, someone will be there if you need us quinn. I don’t care if I need to take a leave of absence from the team for a few weeks and be babysitter while you figure some stuff out. If that’s what we need to do, we’ll do it. And we’ll cross that bridge if and when we get there. I don’t say it nearly as often as you deserve to hear it but you’re a good brother Quinny, and you’re a great dad, and you’re about to be the best leader in the league,” jack says and quinn struggles to swallow past the lump in his throat
“crosby’s not retired yet you know,” quinn replies to the “best leader” comment and jack sends him a grin
“I know. My big brother’s always gonna be the best at everything in my eyes tho,” the words slip past jack’s lips and he laughs as quinn shoves him away slightly
“now you’re just trying to make a grown man cry and it’s mean,” quinn says and jack squeezes his shoulder one more time before going to grab a glass out of the cabinet. the original task he was coming down here to do…
“go to bed. i’m sure Ro is gonna wake up any minute and be looking for you,” jack says
“he’s passed out between luke and vi actually,” quinn says, grinning cheekily as jack laughs
“well that’s one way to keep them quiet.”
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barcaatthemoon · 3 days
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blades || caroline harvey x reader ||
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KK watches you skate.
"Are you listening to me?" you asked KK, already knowing the answer. She had a tendency to daydream around you. It wasn't that she didn't care about what you were saying, just that she got easily distracted. You knew that Leila and almost every single one of her teammates made fun of KK for it. "Caroline!"
"I'm paying attention, I swear!" KK exclaimed. You rolled your eyes and pressed a kiss to her forehead as you got up. "Where are you going? You just got here. The girls aren't even over yet."
"I have practice at 6. I told you that I wouldn't be here for the girls," you told her. KK's face fell immediatley. She had hoped that you would be able to hang out so that she could watch you practice.
You were on an athletic scholarship as well, but yours was for figure skating. KK had been in awe of you the first time she had ever seen you skate. She felt like everything she did was a hack job in comparison to you. That was before she had even seen a single one of your routines. All she had seen was you doing your warm up laps, and from that moment on, she swore that she had fallen for you.
"I wanted to watch today," KK whined. You really didn't want her to blow off her friends for you, but ultimately, it was her decision. You had always been afraid of being one of those girlfriends who caused problems in their significant other's friendships. "How long are you going to be going?"
"Probably pretty late, like midnight or so. If you want to come by later, you can," you told her. KK was absolutely beaming at that. You left her dorm not expecting to see her for a couple of hours at the very least, but you weren't even an hour into your practice when she came in with some of her teammates.
"We have to be quiet, so she can focus," KK told them. Leila was on live, occasionally flipping the camera so that everybody could watch you. KK was so proud of you, talking about you to anybody who would listen. You were on your way to being an Olympian, and KK couldn't wait to watch you win your first medal in 2026. You were already winning almost every single competition you went to.
"You are so in love with her," Lacey said as she nudged KK. You could see them out of the corner of your eye, but you kept your focus on your routines. Your coach had brought you a few suggestions, so you were trying them out. Most of the moves didn't feel right as you practiced them, but you could hear KK cheering you on from the stands.
She was, and would always be, your loudest supporter. Any time that you needed reassurance or a confidence boost, you'd go to KK. It didn't matter that KK had essentially sat there for hours, she cheered the whole practice. Bit by bit, her friends had dispersed and gone home, but KK stayed the whole time. You had planned on walking back to your place, but KK was most likely going to end up driving and staying the night.
"I don't get it," KK said as you skated over towards her. You wanted to try one of the moves one more time, but you needed to take a drink first. It was getting really late, and you didn't want to keep KK up knowing that she had an 8AM class the next day.
"You don't get what?"
"How you do that. I mean, I've been on skates my whole life, but you're so graceful and perfect. It's like you were made to skate and I just stuck knives onto my shoes." You frowned as KK glanced down. As much as you liked having her at your practices, it often ended like this. "If you had stuck with hockey, you'd be skating rings around everyone."
"No, I wouldn't. I tried hockey, and while I was good on skates, I can't take a hit. I'm not tough like you," you told her. KK blushed at the compliment, and the blush only deepened when you grabbed onto her bicep. "Let's get out of here. I want to watch a movie or something."
"Are you sure?" KK asked. You nodded, and KK was quick to help you over the barrier. She made you sit down as she unlaced your skates and gathered your practice bag for you. The two of you walked out of the arena together, and all you could think about was how perfectly you complimented each other as you caught your reflections in the window. "Will you show me something next time?"
"I will, but you're not shooting pucks at me again," you told her. KK laughed at the memory, which she had been shocked you even agreed to in the first place. Technically, it had been Lacey and Leila's idea, but KK had been the one to ask if you'd come with them and practice. You hadn't done terrible, but you were deathly afraid of the puck even in the maximum amount of padding they could manage for you.
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glisten-inthedark · 9 hours
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The Experiment | Part 2
In case y'all missed it, I asked one of my best friends to watch Stranger Things and here's what she had to say about season 1 and 2 .
Now, here's the updated version of season 3 that she finished so fucking fast and I felt guilty because she told me didn't sleep because she was desperate for answers, my sweet summer child.
This time around she'd update me as she watched the episodes and needless to say I woke up today with way too many messages
She's 100% convinced that Mike is gay because she said and I quote: "What teenage boy takes off the hands of his girlfriend like he did?".She also said that Mike should remember that friendships are important too, she doesn't understand why he's avoiding his friends and focusing too much on El.
She loves Max Mayfield BTW (again, sweet summer child). She 100% agrees that El needs to learn how to be herself without the influence of others.
She said that the biggest problem she has with Mike and El is that El didn't even know what a friend was the first season, how can se be in a relationship? However, she does think that if Mike learns how to listen to her they might work it out but she's not sure they should. "Ok I guess they're not going to work it after all" says her after their break up. Also, she was like: "shouldn't he be more upset about this?
In comes the rain fight scene and I think the conversation deserves to be in a mural somewhere. This is what she said and I apologize for the language and for how she talks about Mike but this deserves to be translated in it's entirety because her rant was epic.
"Why. The. Fuck. Was Mike being such an ass?! He used to be so sweet to Will and now he's treating him like this? Hell nah! Like, I get that he wants to spend time with his girlfriend and that's fine, but that doesn't mean he gets to treat Will like this!
And who the fuck said anything about Will not liking girls? Will didn't! So why the fuck would Mike say this completely unprovoked? Like, this is the kind of shit Will's bullies would say! I don't know who the fuck this Mike is, but it's definitely not the kid from last season.
"Oh se he goes to apologize to Will but doesn't apologize to El?" She asked me after she calmed down from her seething rage. "Inch teresting"
"Oh boy, Billy is gonna die. Am I supposed to want him not to?".
"How the fuck did Soviet Union manage to build this entire lab underground without anyone noticing? And this is I'm thr hight of cold war too, makes no sense but what do I know?"
She absolutely adores Robin, she thinks she and Steve will get together.
"Am I supposed to feel bad for Billy?" Needless to say, she doesn't like Billy.
"What. The. Fuck. Am. I. Watching?" She asked during the people turning into slush scene.
"Oh. So I guess Robin and Steve won't get together after all" lmao I laughed.
"Oh they do want me to feel sorry for Billy, huh"
She had a mental breakdown over Hop's "death". She sent an invoice crying and cursing me for bribing her into watching the show.
She also noticed how unresponsive Mike acted after El told him she loved him and was like: "is this boy ok? Like, I'm sorry Bia (my nickname) but you're telling me he just stood there with his eyes opened while she declared her love and kissed him? Am I watching this right? Answer me dammit!" (She was angry when I refused to tell her anything lmao).
Now, bare in mind that I haven't told her about Byler at all, didn't even tell her I ship it because I wanted her to be as unbiased as possible. She told me she had thoughts/theories and I told them to share them even after she claimed she didn't think she was right.
This bellow are her thoughts and hers alone, translated from Brazilian Portuguese to English.
"I just feel like Hop's letter is telling us something about Mike, maybe? Like, how he's afraid of change, of confronting his feelings, maybe? Like, I know you won't tell me, but I don't think this scene is about El leaving at all, I think it's about Will leaving.
"But I have a theory? I don't know, but the scene parallels the scene from when they find Will's body, right? But he comes home and holds his mom and I think this when he realized he has feelings for Will? Maybe? Or at the very least he realized he isn't straight.
" I didn't think Will was gay until I saw his reaction to what Mike said, and I think Will felt that he was stupid for believing that Mike cared for him at all. He destroyed the castle because he lost his childhood, he lost everything when he wasn't even looking, and I also think he called himself stupid because he thinks it was stupid of him to hope Mike could ever think of Will that way.
"I don't think Mike truly loves El, and he's coming to terms with the reason why he doesn't"
She then begged me for information which I refused to give her, obviously. But this is part 2. Now onto the last season *laughs maniacally *
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menlove · 2 months
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the way I cannot stand sa//ltburn but I've made people watch it with me 3 times
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lisxdumbr · 5 months
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The whole "if a person is mad at you it's their responsibility to tell you" thing just made me realize how fucked my situation is. Like just. woah
#who wants to hesr the story of how I lost my irl friends recently (you will I'm spitting everything right now)#anyway so last year one day one of my friends decided to randomly backstab me and she started talking behind my back#and yeah this all made me mad because?? what the fuck#she started talking and revealing stuff that i had confide to her to other people and they slowly started drifting from me#BUt the thing here is that she was manipulating the story. she changed it every time she told stuff to people to make me look bad#i heard one of the things she said about me once and i was like ?? she even make me dislike me in her version which like woa#anyway I didn't understand why she did that because it was ? so random? and then she started ignoring me and has not talked to me ever since#the thing is. she apparently didn't have enough with just doing that. she slowly started to rot my other friends' brains too?#in the sense that. suddenly the rest of my group was ignoring me too. they never said anything to me. or stated that they had a problem#they just ignored me in my face? and yeah that. hurt#recently i found thanks to a third party that one of them decided to stop talking to me because apparently i had hurt her uncountable times#and she was just soo sick and tired of me doing that. which. honestly made me mad because she did not ever express that to me?? so#what was i supposed to do. if she never said anything.#anyway one of my friends confronted her about the treatment they were giving to me. the whole exclusion thing. and her answer was-#”well it's not my fault that she doesn't have more friends and doesn't talk to people”#and i was like. woah. what a poor reply. is that really it.. also apparently they all had agree to stop talking to me as a group-#-and they never informed me so. thank you?#and I'm still here asking what i did to that ex friend of mine. later on i found out she had hooked up with the guy i used to like btw#and she kept it secret. oh and then i started dating my current partner ! person she also felt attracted to. and that's my only explanation.#she started gossiping after what happened with the first guy. so that's really everything that comes to mind as a reason#ANYWAY now that i was at the hospital i didn't receive a single text from any of them. so i guess that was it. people who don't care-#-like that are not friends. those people are not my friends. people who ignore me on purpose and gossip like that are not. my friends#so yeah that's why I've been feeling down lately but ! here I am i ended up ranting so. much#rant#vent#?#woah i actually feel so much better after spitting it all#I'm also following that sour grape advice btw I'm not giving them the privilege of cutting me out. I'M the one who dislikes them now
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potential-fate · 11 months
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Might actually get my computer back on Tuesday. Hopefully.
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cats-in-the-clouds · 1 month
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it is unfortunate when i go to prayer and cry my eyes out and the only response i really hear is that i simply have to bear it. like usually i can get my emotions out and once they’re settled i hear a rational solution but it sucks when i don’t get the answer i want. i just have to keep waiting. like normally i hear something that gives me strength but wow apparently i’ve hit a new low
#literally all my problems would be so much easier to deal with if i had friends#and normally i’d be told ‘do this and you’ll probably find friends’#my plan has always been just to wait for someone to find me bc i’m horribly shy and antisocial#even though logically i know that’s a bad way of going about it#my logical rational analytical brain has always been obsessed with finding concrete answers. it’s always been ‘what can *I* do’#so even when i suffer there’s a part of me that says ‘it’s ok once i’m done crying i can work this out and go right back to trying’#i’ve been emotionally dead for years but i’ve always held onto faith like that#tonight i feel like i’ve been brought low. i feel like i’ve finally been told that i might just have to wait after all#which i might think would be comforting bc it absolves me of responsibility#but it’s actually crushing bc it absolves me of power#i feel like i’m finally facing the realization that i’m powerless and pathetic and i’m never going to be able to fix myself#that i can try as hard as i want but i can’t shake off this cross#but i don’t know how long i have to wait for someone to find me#and even if they find me how do i not fumble it#my first instinct is to push people away bc i assume they’re not really interested they’re just trying to be nice#which is usually true#i don’t even know how to sustain casual friendships and im so desperately in need of deep ones#i can’t open up to someone without just breaking apart and making it clear how pathetic i am#one would think i ought to find someone better than myself who can fix me#but on the other hand i think the only time that the good parts of me come out is when im facing someone even worse than me#like i have a tendency to morph into the opposite of the other person in any given situation to maintain healthy balance#so like when surrounded by extroverts which is almost always i become an introvert#it’s rare to meet an introvert but then i become stronger and more extroverted around them. like something in me just loves helping others#even though i can’t help myself#what do i pray for? a fellow pathetic person? or someone with the patience and kindness and life knowledge of a saint?#will either of them really be found just by chance in my life?#and even if i do meet someone. truly i wish they’d also be lonely. i want them to need me#i don’t want to be a pity charity case. like a side project for someone with real friends already
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coridallasmultipass · 1 month
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I am once again begging online shop payment processing companies to allow me to enter a separate name for shipping and separate name for billing!!
It's the same address, I'm just trans and have not legally changed my personal name, but I still prefer to receive mail as my preferred name! Like it's literally my professional name, I do business as my preferred name.
Annoying as fuck, and I don't want to chance my bank rejecting the payment (though I'm sure someone at my bank has put a note to allow it on my account by now, since I've contacted them a couple times before when I realized too late that the billing section didn't let me input another "address/name" section, and they said the payment was fine in those cases.)
Anyway, legal name changes should be free and non-advertised for everyone. Tbh, you should get a free name change every time you file your taxes on time as an incentive for good citizen behaviour. Once I am elected pres-
#i think the one i just used didnt even have a separate billing address option which makes no sense#guess they dont want anyone giving any gifts making the buyer pay twice for shipping like that#maybe it was a fault of the mobile browser but i highly doubt it since many desktop sites look like mobile browsers these days#just so fucking frustrating. what if i lived somewhere where my legal name would out me? (im in the closet rn so doesnt matter)#i dont want to fucking see my legal name. im already forced to see it everywhere else.#i dont wanna ruin my mood on a day when im supposed to be getting a package which should be a happy thing yknow#vent#transphobia#speaking of like i would change my name but i dont want to and cant afford the fucking ridiculous price for it#and i dont wanna advertise it in a newspaper either! shits expensive as fuck on top of the hundreds to file the court paperwork!#i already tried to do it once with money in hand and the receptionist told me that even tho it was for gender identity i could not...#...avoid the newspaper thing unless i also changed my legal gender marker. and i had to back out bc i have reproductive health problems#i dont want a gender marker change to fuck with my getting healthcare#(i did change the gender letter on my ID card later tho which only took a signature on a paper no hassle with anything)#it really really fucking sucks how all these little things add up all the time#especially when im closeted while living w family who wont even use my preferred name#the real kicker is that. both my dad and his dad used preferred names. my dad used his middle name#and i use part of my middle name. yet my dad even in death still gets the dignity of being called his preferred name and i dont#sexism at its finest#reasons why i dont even hint at being trans around my moms side bc i already got bullied by them for wanting to use my middle name#ive literally been asking them to call me my mid name since i was 12. and theyve been acting like im trying to be someone else#its the same middle name on my birth certificate they gave me. i dont understand why they wouldnt want me to use it#but yeah i stay closeted bc i dont wanna deal with the name drama amplified exponentially for gender#prob get kicked out too cuz theyre queerphobic as fuck and i cant work rn and dont have a car#id have to just go full feral and live in the woods with the lizards where i belong#Cori.exe#Post.exe#fuck lol just looked it up and u cant change ur first name if u get married. i cant avoid the fucking fee man. let me be cori#literally why is it cheaper to get married than change ur first name! bullshit! marriage has so much more legal implications#transphobic queerphobic aromanticphobic privacyphobic poorphobic shit ass fucking state ive literally been cori most of my life ffs cmon
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bibimbinge · 1 month
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tired of being called inconsiderate and rude the second I say something thats not exactly in a nice tone when my brain is working 3× more to be considerate of everyone and everything else 99% of the time.
#i feel like im actually going insane#my own sister backs up her husband (who i now see in a different light ((negative)) over me#and I was understanding at first. fine. maybe I do need to pick up after myself more maybe i am messy#and my friends and family even told me that because theyve brought it up so many times now maybe i am the problem and thats okay#so i. like yeah. okay i take up too much space. i'll step back. i stay out more. i'll clean my dishes right after i use them#i already do all that#and then today she DOES IT AGAIN!! and i broke down cause she basically said this is the last warning#you need to start looking for a new place (ive been saving up PENNIES for years. it'll take 3 full months of salary to even rent a ROOM)#it took me even longer cause i was unemployed for 6 months and had to use EVERYTHING I HAD SAVED#and i gave up. im back at home and i gave in. i took a video of my room and the living room and asked my friend#is there really anything else i have to do because i am TIRED AND I CANT SEE WHATS WRONG AND WHATS MESSY PLEASE#because fuck i feel like im actually INSANE cause the way my sister has been wording it to me its like im so messy#and my friend just replies..... i am so sorry for ever being on your sisters side because you are not messy at all#and the RELIEF i felt. the weight off my shoulders LIFTED OFF INSTANTLY#IM NOT CRAZY!!! IM NOT MESSY!! IM HUMAN AND NORMAL#im just so upset right now cause it just dawned on me that.... not a single person in my famiy has my back the way i have theirs#not even my own sister.... and im tired.#personal
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radgeorgie · 2 months
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had an amazing interview yesterday.... was told I'd know by Monday.... but it's alleged they DRUG TEST and I just bought 6 packs of weed edibles 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#AND!!!!! AND!!!!!! IVE GOT THE HOUSE TO MYSELF FOR A SOLID WEEK!!!!!!!#i guess ill know monday if i can get high that night or tuesday but like.... i want to have one now lmao#like.... the paper i signed was more worried about being drunk on the jo#and OBVIOUSLY i wouldnt show up to my folder customer service job high off my ass..... but that thc can stay in your system for awhilw#i had one last nigbt tk celebrate the interview so idk if im even in the clear to begin with#and like.... i told them my start date would ve the 20th & im out of town vefore that so the goal is like.... they go to achedule#and we have to schedule it way out so i have time to like.....not worry & get my pee clean#like.... it wouldnt matter so much if my parents werent LEAVING this E N T I R E week... like.... this is MY vacatioj too!!!!!#and i just bought it after a horrid week 😭😭😭😭😭 worked my ass of it for it in order to relax this week#like#i know i shouldnt be dependent on it and im really trying not to ve#but the anti-anxiety relaxing of it all helps so much#and im reeeeeally not the biggest fan of drinking....i pee too much 😭😭😭😭😭 ironically 😭😭😭😭😭😭#like.... at this point.... its like..... do i care about getting this job more than i care about letting my brain and body relax this week#i always put myself first & listen to my heart & soul to dictate what to do#but my mind just keeps thinking about getting that failed drug test back and going back to the job hunt#but im still IN the job hi t#*hunt#AND HERES THE THING!!!! walking around that damn office.... seeing what people were wearing.....#its professional but i know damn well theres people in there smoking weed#like.... 25 of the 50 employees i saw showed up in casual loungepants these people are not prestigious#and like.... the paper i signed.... they didnt even edit to include the company name????#it kept saying “the Company will not like you to drink on the clock and assumes you will not get behind company vechiles drunk either”#like.... tooooootally understandable i just wanna eat some edibles before im an official employee of your folder business my loves#let me have a 50mg and zone out for the night while im finally free from all these losers..... PLEASE#anyways......personal problems that my brain needs to expel so it doesnt tumble all around for the next few houes#WHILE I DOORDASH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 fuck me#like..... i got this interview through indeed ill just keep going till i cant if it fails
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orcelito · 2 months
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Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.
But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.
#speculation nation#and then U add in the fact that the girl she broke up with me for is already dating someone else (poly sort of situation)#and im just like. WHYYYYY did she break up with me instead of trying to negotiate poly???#she was gonna at first but when i expressed concern about poly given her obvious communication problems about it#then she dropped me like a hot coal. like sorry i wasnt about to let myself be stood up and ignored for basically a whole day#just to accept u trying to negotiate poly. like What?????#anyways i may have a bit of a history with being a bit of an asshole and breaking up with them#but at LEAST ive never broken up with anyone to immediately start dating someone else#and at LEAST ive broken up with them in person and not over text!!! the fuck?????#i keep alternating between 'surprisingly okay with it all' and 'maybe a little sad' and 'absolutely fucking LIVID'#and i keep wanting to yell at her more but i already said quite a lot of things. so id just be repeating myself#and at that point id just be a vitriolic piece of shit. which i try not to be.#so im letting her live in peace while i continue to be So Pissed about it and it just sucks man lmfao#why do i gotta be the bigger person fr. i even apologized for the hurtful things i was saying in anger. literally in that same conversation.#and she gets to pull this stunt and walk free and spend so much time with her new 'love' ignoring the world etc etc#honestly i hope it fails miserably for her. bc sure theres a chance it works out but every single part of this is impulsive and So Stupid.#and even tho my ex agreed with me when i told her it was INSANE. she was just like 'i have to' like OKAY????#jesus fucking christmas she's revealed a side to me that i really hadnt seen before.#so i hope it fails and i hope she tells me about it. i hope she owns up to her mistakes. for my own satisfaction.#but i have 0 intention on ever taking her back. because what the fuck????#i may be a flawed individual with plenty of problems. but i still have basic fucking dignity. and i am NOT accepting this back in my life.#and god damn her friend is moving into the unit across from mine for this coming year#and i may have to see my ex sometimes bc of it 😭😭😭#the friend seemed generally level headed tho. idk if i happen across him & he doesnt avoid me maybe i'll ask him what he thinks of this#bc she was treating me with such love and affection showing me off to all her friends. and then she drops me like a fucking coal.#i wouldnt say i made friends with them myself but we were at least friendly. so i doubt theyd have a good opinion of her for this.#so would the friend loyalty take precedence? or would he be willing to chat with me and confirm Yeah what the fuck?#bc if i had a friend who did this same exact thing id be side-eyeing them SO hard.#id support them bc theyre my friend but i would also be like 'hey uh Why did you do that. that was pretty awful of u you know that right'#& itd also make me more cautious of them too. for being Able to drop someone so suddenly lol.
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omarfor-orchestra · 1 year
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FUCK
#i wanna scream in a forest#this is gonna be a rant post. just so you know.#last month i went out with a girl i met in the summer theatre course#we stayed outside wandering the city for hours#we talked about our lifes (jesus Christ we were getting to know each other? what else should we have talked about?)#she stopped texting me after that#(she had told me she had a great time. she thanked me for sharing my story)#i texted her today and told me how bad she actually felt after our meeting and that i am too negative for her#because we didn't joke or laugh#i do remember joking and laughing btw#and i get that we can't be liked by everyone but it was the first time in YEARS that i actually opened up to someone#and boy I'm so not taking this well#i was finally feeling good enough but now? now???#I'm trying not to take this too personal because she said 'i'm too sensitive for you' so this might be a problem of hers#even because. you know. it's not like my story is that bad. i just told her about m#my father and what's going on in my family right now which is just annoying yk? not traumatizing#but also. how is it that when i show my true self to someone no one seems to really like it?#do i have to keep pretending I'm someone else? now that i finally know who i am?#i did say I'm an ugly person didn't I#i was already stressed out about uni starting tomorrow#and now this#it will never get better will it#i will always be this messed up thing no one wants to deal with right?#fuck#i was trying to go to therapy less frequently but I definitely need it this week
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