#or it wouldn't be the endeavour we know and love...

[jessieren]

I've only watched Exeunt all the way through once... because it killed me.

Especially this scene

So I thought you should all join in my sobbing misery emotional turmoil appreciation of the ability of these two to deliver that level of emotional connection

I miss them...

[theoriginalkaminari]

Imagine (before Dabi's big reveal maybe)

Imagine bro

Dabi had a beautiful partner, a beautiful S/O that was his, all his.

They made him feel alive.

They genuinely cared for him.

And then they were killed by Endeavour.

Dabi stares at your burning body, heart breaking every second he sees you like this. He watches as the blue flame flakes off your skin, the smell of charred and rotten skin filling the air.

Dabi found your body in an alley.

Endeavour didn't even take your body to your family. He just left you on the cold ground.

Of course he wouldn't, he fucking killed you. That would ruin his reputation if he brought your dead body to your family.

So Dabi decided to lay you down in the forest and burn your body. After all, he was always curious to see how you would look going up in flames.

"I think we should say some words." Dabi says to no one, spreading his arms out.

"Here lays Y/N. Beloved by all they met. The angel in hell." He growls out, clenching his fists as he continues to stare at the fire consuming your body.

He lets out a laugh, but its more of a scoff. "Thanks for loving a useless fuckin' idiot." He hisses out, venom in his voice as he watches the flames.

He picks up the bottle of whiskey he brought with him, flicking off the cap and taking a large sip from the bottle.

He lets out a breath after he removes the bottle from his lips. He feels like crying. He feels like tearing his fucking hair out, he feels like jumping into that pile of flames with you.

Instead he gulps, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. "I told you you would still look cute even as a pile of ashes." He calls out to your body, extending his arms out again as if to present something.

"I know I said I'd take your ashes to your family, but we both know I'm a selfish prick. So I'll be keeping them." He chuckles darkly, taking another gulp of whiskey from the bottle.

"I still...love you." He then whispers, putting the bottle down. "Even if you are dead now." Dabi mutters, a fake smirk plastered on his face.

"And I'll make sure to kill Endeavour the same way he killed you. Maybe that will jog his fuckin' memory when I'm staring down at his pathetic burnt body." He growls out, clenching his fists so hard around the bottle that he breaks the glass.

Dabi tosses the shards of broken glass into the fire and ontop of your body. "Love you, doll. Always will."

From that day on, Dabi kept your ashes in a small bottle he keeps tied around his neck.

[quasi-normalcy]

I know that this is the "Turning social problems into matters of individual virtue" website, but here's one change that you can make to yourself as an individual that I honestly think will have beneficial collective effects:

Stop Thinking You're Better Than Other People.

Do I mean that you should go through life thinking that you're the lowliest and most wretched scum who's ever lived? No. I mean that there exists no meaningful criterion by which one human being can be said to be absolutely 'better' than another. And even if there was, you don't know enough about other people's circumstances and interior thoughts to meaningfully judge them in these absolute terms. So don't even try! It's a futile endeavour.

"But what about fascists? Surely I'm better than them!"

Okay, so let me preface this by saying that fascists are dangerous, they're misguided, their acts and intentions are evil, and they need to be stopped, including through physical violence. But you're not better than them. I know that this is a difficult pill to swallow; I myself used to pat myself used to pat myself on the back because, well, at least I wouldn't have been a Nazi. But you know what? If the circumstances were right, I could have been. We all could have been, just as we all could have joined a cult at some point.

Looking at myself, for example: there was never any serious possibility that I could have been swept up into the alt-right movement. Why? Because I'm transgender, and I was raised to be a socialist. How easy it is to *not* become a fascist when you're one of their scapegoats! How much harder it would be to avoid if you're one of the people they flatter and groom, if you're raised by people who are sympathetic to fascist ideals, if you grow up in a community where such ideals are common! The fact that fascist movements can seemingly emerge amongst every nation and people--including those who have historically been victims of fascism--confirms this. What if I had lived a hundred years later, at a time when transgenderism was a complete non-issue, and they'd moved on to some new scapegoat? What if they had approached me on my absolute worst day and told me that all of my problems were caused by moochers and parasites, and that I could fight back and claim my birth right by joining them? Can I really say that I wouldn't? Can anyone?

But even beyond that, what is a fascist but the ultimate example of someone who needs to feel superior to others? What is scapegoating but the act of selecting an entire group of people and declaring them to be inferior to you? And if you just refuse to believe these things; if you refuse to accept the premise that some people are better than others, and call it out whenever it comes up; then you're cutting these movements off at knees! The ideological force of fascism comes from imagining humanity as a strict hierarchy, with the master race on top and the degenerates on the bottom. Simply refuse to believe in such a hierarchy! Refuse to even entertain it!

"But then how can I feel self-esteem? How can I feel that I matter and have value?"

You have value just by existing as a person! But if that's not enough for you, then try this: instead of trying to increase your sense of self-worth by finding people to feel superior to, increase it by being of value to others. Help them! Make their lives better! Contribute to society! Not even in a way that you can (necessarily) put a dollar value on, but in any way you can! Create art! Plant a pollinator garden! Tell a joke! Make someone happy! If nothing else, you can at least give someone love, and I guarantee you that that will be of value to them. The universe is so vast and we're all so small that any value we can ever have will only ever be to each other. And surely it beats spending your life trying to be king of the microbes.

[sophvilla]

My Reason to Exist °‧🫧

Pairing: Husband! OT5 x Wife Femreader x your baby

Summary: You always endured your Husband's protectiveness but you didn't know that you have to cope up with your kids too

Genre: Fluff, Kissing , protectiveness from your husband's as well as you kids

Warning: Nonidol! OT5 x Nonidol! Fem!reader, Husband x Wife x Baby/toddler trope, sweet fluff, protectiveness, mention of (baby , princess, wife )

CHOI YEONJUN

Two peas in a pod, twins, copies: these are all things people have called your husband and son.

honestly, they're not wrong. your son has his father's looks from his fox eyes to his pouty lips -Yeonjun swears he has your nose and ears but anyway-and he carries the same protectiveness and love he holds for you, if not amplified.

you can't count on one hand the amount of times the house has been turned upside down because of their fights for a cuddle session with you.

of course, you have always tried suggesting them simply sharing you, but these problem children would rather eat raw zucchini than ever share the cuddle time.

so while your son is barely six, you can still count on him to team up with Yeonjun against anyone who wrongs you in anyway like what's happening right now for example.

you're out with your lovely family to buy some groceries, and since they both were whining about getting some sweets, you allowed them to go and snatch a couple from the next aisle.

on the other hand, you stayed to look for another type of detergent to clean the floor-especially since Yeonjun got this new type of paint for s/n and it's quite an endeavour to remove it with a regular detergent.

however, being in the cleaning supplies section never guaranteed the lack of filthy men who can't take no for an answer. this one man approaches you, smug grin on his face as he leans on the wall, "what's a pretty lady like you doing alone?"

"buying groceries like a normal person; now please leave me alone."

he quickly frowns, "don't be so stingy doll," his hand extends towards your arm, "I can show you a good time; I promise--"

the man is swiftly smacked with an egg on his face, and he is left with the egg dripping down his face, "what's your wrong with your kid, man?!" he yells at the person behind you.

He then grumbles, "ruined a potential good night."

"My kid was absolutely right in what he did," you hear Yeonjun’s voice. you then feel a hand on your shoulder, and you're pulled into a chest you're all too familiar with, ""junnie-"

your husband shoots a small smile your way, pressing a quick kiss to your lips, before looking at his son, "that last throw was very good, son ! throw another one but just below his stomach."

A Cheshire cat-like grin is plastered on your husband's face as your boy prepares to launch another egg at the man.

there is a very evident scowl on your son's face as he yells, "don't you ever bother mama again, you stinky bum crumb!"

the man gasps and tries to make a run for it, but your son wouldn't be the son of Choi Yeonjun if he doesn't manage to land the hit exactly where he wants.

the man quickly crumbles to the ground screaming and alerting literally everyone in the store.

So Yeonjun picks both you and your son and makes a run for it.

you hold tightly onto him, "wait, ‘junnie, the groceries!"

"we can always order! saving my princess and son is more important!"

your son grumbles, "but I want to hit the rude man!"

"me too, champ, but-" Yeonjun’s sweat-drops and glances behind him, "I doubt the angry security guards wouldn't like that!"

CHOI SOOBIN

Your twin girls are one of the sassiest to exist.

In a way, they take after their father who is also pretty sassy but very low-key.

The sass of all three combined is terrible to be the victim of. Luckily for you, they don’t dare direct their triple ray towards you, especially-in any argument at least one will try to win you over. As you know the girls have inherited their father's professional yapping mechanism since birth, the trinity force uses that card whenever they're in an argument.

If it’s Soobin trying to stay on your good side, then he is hugging you from behind, pressing feather-like kisses on your shoulder and whispering about how sweet you are. If it’s the girls, then they cling to your legs and keep yelling about how much they love you.

So it is safe to say that you have a small squad to protect you from any potential “danger”.

“oh my, dear shouldn’t you focus on refining yourself a bit more?” you hear a woman say beside you.

You turn towards her, offended, “excuse me?”

“I mean,” her eyes scan you, disapprovingly, “you look average at best, and with that you won’t be able to find yourself a husband, let alone have children.”

You’re still processing her audacity as she continues, “but then again, it’s probably for the better that you don’t have children; you can barely take care of yourself.”

“can I help you?” your husband says as he approaches the woman.

She smiles condescendingly before chuckling, “I was simply telling this lady to take care of herself more; she hardly looks presentable.”

Soobin’s smiles tenses up as he is about to give the woman a peace of his mind, but his daughters beat him to it.

Your older twin stands in front of the woman, scanning her with pure disgust in her eyes.

She grimaces and voices out her thoughts, “you are like a crunchy lizard.”

The woman gasps, “how dare you-!”

You cut off the woman, curious about your daughter’s conclusion, “why a crunchy lizard, sweetheart?”

Your daughter looks at you with a small frown, shaking her head, “a crunchy lizard is an ugly sad lizard.”

A snort escapes your husband, and you’re barely able to contain your smile.

Your other daughter follows up, looking at her twin sister, “the lady looks like that one green thingy we saw yesterday,” she taps her little foot, trying to remember and beams at the woman,

“shrek! You look like shrek!”

Then they both glare at her, frowning, “you’re a monkey!”

Your husband doesn’t let it go as he deals the final -subtle-blow, “come on now girls; we shouldn’t bully the lady with the mcdonald’s like hairline Anymore, "

"Also ma’am you should look at yourself in the mirror before saying something to Others especially my wife, as you can see she gave birth to my beautiful daughters and she looks like a absolute Goddess to me and we actually didn't ask for any of you opinion, so keep them to you shallow of a life and excuse us please” Your husband concludes.

It seems like the woman can’t take it anymore as She starts muttering how the society is and the new generation is disrespectful.

A moment of silence is shared across the four Of you, before you carry both of your girls in your arms and start tickling them, “I don’t know whether to be proud of you or scold you, little evil Girls!”

They squeal, trying to escape your hold and calling for their father.

Soobin chuckles and wraps his arms around the three of you, “let them have it for tonight, y/n,” he ruffles their hair, “they were brave and defended their mom, after all.”

“yeah, papa is right!”

“yes mama, please!”

You pout then smirk at geto, “well I don’t mind, and since papa is also very proud of you girls, he will buy any toy that you guys want today!”

The colour drains from your husband’s face, and he Watches motionlessly as his girls latch onto him, screaming about the toys they want.

You giggle at his expression and blow him a kiss. He reluctantly blows you one back, while the girls excitedly pull him towards the toy store.

CHOI BEOMGYU

Your husband and son are so alike, save for the part that your husband is a bit more shameless, and your son is more on the shy side.

However, they both have the same bluntness and the tendency to give anyone who they don’t like attitude.

For example, today, you were walking in the park with the both of them to unwind a bit.

Not to mention that your son wanted to walk his dogs which was a plus, since you would be able to watch your dear son play around with them.

It was all going great until you saw an old ‘friend’ who came running at the sight of you. He was someone who has always been way too touchy and in your personal bubble.

You have tried talking to him about it, but you’re confident that he does it to somehow force you into reciprocating the intimacy.

Even if you’re a married woman with a freaking kid.

He giddily clasps your hand, “y/n, ‘been a long time!”

“h-hey,” you smile awkwardly.

He laughs, “I was passing by when I saw your figure, and I couldn’t help but come and say hi.”

You nod, “that’s great, but I am busy, so maybe later?-“

“you’ve gotten even prettier!” he exclaims, “I wish you would finally take me out on a-“

“can’t you see that she is uncomfortable?” your son retorts, “also, you should step back; you shouldn’t touch someone like this without asking them.”

You son squeezes himself between the both you and glares at the man.

The guy was about to reply to your son, but Beomgyu pushes him back with ease, pulling you beside him and hand resting on your waist almost by instinct, “My son’s right,” he tilts his head a bit, “ever been taught manners or do I have to do the teaching for you?”

The guy is taken back; offended, he snaps “you can’t speak to me like that!”

“and you can’t hold my mom’s hands like that, but here we are,” your son cleverly sasses him. On the other hand, your-shameless-husband pulls you into one scandalous kiss and smirks at the guy when he pulls back, “and you can’t hit on a married woman, by the way.”

You hear your son gag in disgust at his dad’s actions, but you’re too busy burying your face in your husband’s chest, hoping that the guy disappears before Beomgyu makes even more of a bigger scene.

You also hope that the ground would swallow you, but that’s the alternative option.

The guy clutches his fist, before walking away, spewing insults at the sky-since he is too scared to cuss out your husband. Once the man is out of sight, Beomgyu ruffles his child’s hair, chuckling, “good job, Bud.”

Your shy bean’s cheeks redden slightly as he looks Away, “…thanks.”

You’re still thinking about what just happened when you slap your husband’s chest, “Gyu, literally why?” you grumble, patting you Kid who started holding onto your leg the moment you hugged Beomgyu.

“why not,” your husband shrugs with a small smile, taking pride in your flustered form.

“dad, I want ice cream.”

“no, you just want me to let go your mom, so you can hog her for yourself,” Beomgyu grumbles, staring down at his and your little version.

Unfaltering, Your son looks up at him, “dad, I want ice cream.”

“- or else I’ll call Yeonjun uncle to-.”

“god damn it, listen here you-“

You laugh at their bickering

KANG TAEHYUN

There is no denying that both your son and your husband care for you very much, and they both- are very smart-as they compete for your attention.

I am talking he literally talk senses in your child whenever it comes to taking care of you whenever he wasn’t around and your son, in turn, lecture his father to stop being clingy to his mother as he is old enough to sleep by himself.

It's eventful, but you would be lying if you said that it wasn’t one of the reasons why you will get grey hair earlier than everyone else.

So their very smartass nature is also shown in their protectiveness over you.

A person doesn’t need to insult or even dare flirt with you for your devil duo to make their life a living hell; your husband and son don’t tolerate someone speaking to you if it causes you to ignore both of them.

For example, today when the three of you are sprawled in grass of the public park as all of soak the sun up, as you Are making a flower crown for both your nerds when suddenly you feel a tap on your shoulders

You turn to look at the person being a men with creepy smile gracing his face, “yes?”

He clears throat, a bit flustered by the attention, “I wanted to ask where are you from ?”

“Um-I ‘m sorry but ---”

“Don’t worry love, I’m gonn’ treat you good” as he lays his hand on your shoulders, your about to give him a good push before you son speaks up

“take your disgusting hands off my mother shoulders , you unnatural looking fiend,” your son sneers followed by his father’s presence as he pulls you behind him as the man hurriedly takes his hand off your shoulders, slightly annoyed as well as scared from your husband's buff figure from the two more company of your son and husband.

“who are you to lay your limping hands on my wife and speak to her so casually?” Taehyun presses, and the man cowers away at the intimidating look Taehyun gives him as well as his dead stare as the man grumbles a quick Apologise to your husband.

As the man tries to walk away your son stands in his tracks, hand folded and just like his father, that boba eyes glaring at the man

“ Aren’t you going to apologise to my mother properly for causing her inconvenience ? Don’t you have any manners, or not ? Is this how you treat a woman ?” Your son questioned him making the man conscious of his action followed by your husband’s comment

“ Well my son just said something, aren’t going to answer ? Or should we make-” Meanwhile, you’re watching all of that, mouth agape and trying to articulate anything but the man immediately replies in fear.

“I’m so sorry for the inconveniences I caused you ma’am I didn’t mean to do that, please forgive me ” bowing his head to you as you bowed back a little to acknowledge and accept his apology as the said man in question runs away after he saw your husband nod his head at him.

Your son hugs you tightly and glares at the man’s retreating figure “ Dad why did you let him go off so easily? ”

You immediately reply before Taehyun does “ he already apologized my Little man , so that’s enough of torment you and your dad gave him by your stares”

You can spot the small smirk on your husband’s face as he watches his son grumbles. As you pick up your son, kissing his cheek which makes him flustered and causing him to bury his face in your Neck.

Your husband watches both of you with a smile as He rolls his eyes, and pulls you by the waist, “do I look like I care about the stares ? He shouldn’t have interrupted our time together And neither should’ve touched your shoulders .”

“aww, you’re jealous!”

“no, I am not-“

“Yes you are father, don’t lie! ”

As both of laugh at your son words, you realise your creation as you ask both of them

“ Who’s gonna wear these cute flower crowns I made ! ”

“No- no Mama, you and dad can wear that not me ” Your son says quickly to get away from looking cute, as you thought to yourself how much he is like his father in nature too, always want to be more of intimidating rather than cute but they're so cute and adorable you can't even explain

“Nope baby you and your father, both are gonna wear them—”

Before you can finish the sentence both of your boys runs off away from you, laughing as you chase after them

HUENING KAI

You and your husband were blessed with the sweetest girl as your daughter, and she was just recently joined by another sweet girl.

You can never forget the happiness on your daughter’s face when she saw her baby sister.

It also seems that no matter how many times you give birth, your husband can’t help but get emotional when he holds your baby. His hands are forever delicate as he cradles her to his chest.

You remember what he said during the birth of your first daughter.

“I feel like a piece of heaven has been plucked and placed in my arms.”

The way he always goes soft for the three of you is honestly adorable.

Today, you were going on an outing with your- now 6 months old-baby and your older daughter who is almost six.

Your husband has always been happy about helping you out with you throughout everything, as he never misses a chance to carry the baby or the baby supplies.

You have offered to at least carry the bag, but he always refuses, stating that ‘you already carried the baby for nine entire months in your belly; this Is the least I can do.

So yeah, sometimes you wish to smooch your husband till forever at his cuteness and his care and love for you and your daughters but that’s not the point.

You’re walking hand in hand with your daughter as she sings her favorite song. You hear someone click their tongue, so you look to the side and lock eyes with an old lady. She takes the opportunity and approaches you.

“you should be ashamed of yourself!” she yells pointing at you, “your husband shouldn’t be carrying the baby supplies nor the baby itself for the matter,” she scowls, “that’s your job!”

Kai reply to the lady with a frown on his “with all due respect ma’am, but that isn’t her job, and taking care of the baby should be something we are both responsible for.”

“yeah!” your daughter huffs, “and don’t take out your sad life on my mama!”

Your eyes widen as you stare at your daughter.

On the other side, your husband is just as speechless. Your daughter pays no one any mind as she continues, “mama works hard every day! You wouldn’t know that! You immature nugget!”

Huening frowns lightly, “princess, that’s not nice-“

And for the cherry on top, your baby daughter throws the bottle cap she was playing with at the old lady, and frowns at her.

She starts babbling some nonsense that you’re Pretty sure are curse words in baby language. Having had enough, the old lady huffs, “the utter Disrespect,” and starts walking away.

The rest of the spectators’ eyes follow her till she is out of sight. Finally then, people start minding their own business, and you and your little family are left to the aftermath.

You giggle, “that was funny.”

“really?!” your daughter beams.

Kai cuts her off, “no,” he then looks at you with a small frown, a sigh escaping his lips, “y/n don’t encourage them-“

Your baby daughter screams happily when she sees her sister smile. She starts kicking her feet with the biggest smile on her own face.

Your older daughter starts laughing with her and tries to make her little sister laugh more-she was successful.

Meanwhile, you chuckle, leaning on your husband’s shoulder, “admit it, Babe; it was kind of funny.”

His resolve softens at the sound of laughter from All three of his girls, “okay, maybe a little, but-“

“yay!!”

Ladies: 1

Huening Kai: 0

[corvidaes-crow]

Deruth Henituse bashing ahead, you have been warned.

I finally figured out why I hate Deruth Henituse. The novel, through Kim Roksu, barely lingers on his failings as a parent. Which, fair enough, I understand from a characterisation perspective why that wouldn't be a main focus. It just means I linger on that in canon's place. Why is Deruth satisfied with giving his child some exorbitant allowance? Why doesn't he ask at any point what it was used for, even when he thinks their relationship has improved? Why can he be a good person to everyone except OG!Cale? What is stopping him except his own cowardice and guilt?

There is not a single thing in LCF that redeems him as a father. We see how Ron grows to care for (KRS!)Cale, as well as Eruhaben and Fredo in their own pseudo-fatherly ways. We see how Deruth has not changed since 'Cale Henituse' improved. If he had been more grief-stricken finding out about Cale on-screen, maybe that would have redeemed him a bit in my eyes, but alas.

I need a scene where Deruth wakes up in the middle of the night heaving, tears streaming down his face when he realises that his son does not exist in their universe any more. When he realises his son has disappeared from their timeline, and likely did so believing everyone would prefer it that way. When he realises that belief is not exactly wrong, because everyone does prefer it this way.

That last realisation, he struggles with, because bad parents will never understand what they did wrong without significant internal struggle and a self-driven desire to understand. I need someone (Eruhaben, Ron, or even Violan) to notice his internal conflict and sit him down and ask him, straightforward and simple, "Which one do you prefer?" And they won't let him tell them his answer, that's not for them to know. But Deruth finds himself repeating the question over and over, which do I prefer?

It starts with 'neither, obviously, how could I pick a favourite?' but the guilt gnaws at him; his reflexive answer is not what his son, his sons, deserve. So he disassembles it all from there. What would he feel if they swapped back? What would he do then? Shower Cale with love, of course - but would he? Or would he find himself taking a step back, guilty and avoidant as always when it comes to his son?

And then, why would Deruth feel guilty? Because he hungers after a son who he can interact with without fearing Cale's hatred or resentment. He knows and fears his own inadequacy to heal their relationship. And the new soul doesn't mind it. The new soul, Cale, holds no expectations for him. No resentment. He doesn't know how to reconcile, but is there any need to if Cale is no longer the son he wronged?

So the answer to such a cruel question, which do you prefer, is... this one. The new one. The Cale that Deruth can be a proud father of, that he can hold his head high when talking about and fret over when he coughs blood or faints or leaves for another dangerous mission. The Cale that he knows exactly how to make happy. It's not hard, either, just food, rest and gold.

Deruth will never know how he could have made the original Cale happy. There is too much strife between them for Deruth to dare try to unravel it all, so he'll settle for wishing him all the best in future endeavours. This is penance enough, the guilt he will carry forever for not noticing sooner the loss of his firstborn son.

[prideofcelestia]

❝when you repeat his words❞

« characters -> lucifer, asmodeus, solomon, diavolo, barbatos, luke, mephistopheles »

« gender neutral reader »

« headcanons »

« notes -> suggestive for lucifer's part, the way he is in the game... platonic for luke »

LUCIFER

His brows furrow.

"What is the meaning of this?"

When you mimic his displeased demeanour, he is almost sure that you are making fun of him.

Eyes narrowed, he stares at you for a while before sighing and bursting out into laughter, "You sure come up with the most random activities to have fun. It's cute."

Sure enough, you repeat his words.

"Hmmm? Why don't you follow me to my room and I will tell you about the latest activity I thought of? We can both take part in it and it won't be 'cute'," he smiles meaningfully.

ASMODEUS

"Awwww, you're such a cutie, trying to mimic my words!" he says. After a moment of pondering, he smiles seductively and coos, "I love love looove you, Asmo chan ♡.You are the brightest star on any stage! I swoon over your perfection, my lovely darling. Why don't you reserve all your hugs and kisses for me only? I want you all to myself! Oh, you are such a tease! Why do you leave me even for a moment? Please take me in your arms, right now and spoil me, my sweetheart!"

You are left speechless at the words he came up with on the spot. Since you didn't memoriese the words, you tried to satisfy him in your own way.

"Asmo, you know how I love you. You steal my attention when you walk into a room~"

He squeals, "Kyaaaa♡~ You did almost as good as the original! I knew you wouldn't disappoint me."

SOLOMON

He laughs at your antics and is amused to find you mimicking that sound too. When he narrows his eyes, you know that the cogwheels in his head are turning with some idea of its own.

"I am glad that I have a good teacher," he says coyly, waiting for you to reply. The smirk on his face makes you falter. You realise that irrespective of your reply, he will have his fun so you shrug and give up.

LUKE

When you stay silent, his smile widens. "Seems like your teacher taught you well. You know when to quit. Hahaha."

He blushes when he notices, his initial surprise fading away. Normally he would consider it rude but since it's you, he knows you're not making fun of him. So he's fine with it.

"H-Hey! Why are you repeating my words?"

"And the cute chihuahua says, 'H-Hey! Why are you repeating my words?'." you tease.

"I am NOT a chihuahua!" he pouts with hands formed in fists.

"I am NOT a chihuahua!" you bellow in an exaggerated manner and sulk.

Luke looks upset so you drop the act.

BARBATOS

He doesn't really react so you are left wondering if he even realised what you are doing.

"Barbatos, did you notice that I repeated the exact words you said? And copied your mannerisms too?"

"Why, yes, of course I did." he answers with soft laughter escaping his lips. " If I may take the liberty, allow me to say that I quite enjoyed it. And now, if you will quench my curiosity, why did you do so?"

His curious eyes fixed on you, taking you quite by surprise. "Eh... I was just having fun."

"Ah, I see. If it makes you happy, I will like to see you continue your endeavour."

A blush dusts his cheeks as he continues, "If I may be so bold, I will be really happy to know that I am the only one you mimic."

DIAVOLO

He finds the whole experience highly enjoyable.

"Oh, is this a human world game where you mimic the other's words? Hahaha I think this is an innovative way to bring people together."

The twinkle in his eyes makes you answer his question rather than continuing your prank. "Yes, it's really fun."

"Ohhhh? Is it my turn to repeat your words now?" he muses. Mirroring your actions, his voice echos, "Yes, it's fun."

You laugh at his seriousness so he joins you - half for the game, half because he wants to share the moment with you.

When Barbatos finds you two like that, he quickly exits. The sacred moment need not a third participant.

MEPHISTOPHELES

"I don't have time for this," he says when you stare at him for a while without speaking. "If you have something to say, say it."

He frowns when you repeat his words.

"Has the cold and lack of sun gotten to your head? You were the one who came to me."

He looks irritated when you mimic him again.

"I am a demon. I am used to the cold and lack of sun.... Ah I see. I read about a game like this in the human world. Why don't you find another victim, like Lucifer? I would love to know how he reacted."

The idea seems to please him so much that he starts daydreaming on the spot.

[vermilionsun]

Your Touchstarved headcanons are wonderful! You are almost single handedly keeping me sane while I wait for the full game. Truly, you are a blessing to this fandom.

I was wondering if you had any thoughts about what any of the LIs would think of an MC who is a Writer/Artist. Maybe they had to give it up for a while when they left to go to Erridia?

Or...

Since MC is broke, what do the LIs think of them showing affection through gifts, even if they haven't got money? I can imagine they make simple, inexpensive things like paper flowers for Leander or friendship bracelets for Ais.

Anyway I hope you have a great day, keep up the good work and thanks for posting so much good stuff.💐🌼

I’m actually crying you’re so sweet THANK YOU SO MUCH?!! AVCKHVCEBFC 😭😭

I took it a step further, I hope you don't mind.

This is 1/2 :)

Disclaimer! They/Them for MC because we love inclusivity!

Kuras

Writer

He’d probably figure it out rather quickly. The way they would meticulously jot down notes, the endless stream of ideas, and their thoughtful insights into various u̶n̶c̶o̶n̶v̶e̶n̶t̶i̶o̶n̶a̶l̶ topics. Or perhaps he had caught glimpses of their constantly ink-stained fingers. Either way, it became another entry in Kuras' catalogue of fascinating things about them. Undeniably intrigued, he couldn't help but wonder if their writing reflected their innermost thoughts and desires—if each word they wrote held a piece of their soul, waiting to be discovered by someone willing to delve into the depths of their imagination—or perhaps if it was simply a creative outlet for emotions they couldn't express otherwise.

Kuras found himself wanting to uncover the layers of complexity that made up the enigmatic individual behind the pages of their notebooks. And he was more than willing to take on that challenge.

Taking into consideration the fact that perhaps the MC wouldn't be able to afford fancy writing tools or notebooks, often writing down messy notes in napkins with worn-out pens and crayons left behind by patrons at the Wick, Kuras would gift them a brand new notebook and a set of pens, hoping that the small gesture would encourage the MC to continue expressing themselves through writing and perhaps even open up to him about the deeper secrets of themselves they had yet to reveal.

Vere

Artist

As a fellow artist himself, Vere knew to recognize talent when he saw it, no matter how subtle or unassuming it may appear at first glance. After all, true artistry is not just about skill but also passion and dedication. He didn't miss the way the MC's eyes lingered a moment longer on the brush strokes of a distant painting in a random Eridian shop with such reverence, as if trying to capture the essence of the art itself, before moving on, or the way their eyes focused on the lightning dancing across the sky and their fingers twitched with an unspoken desire to create. 

Vere could sense the raw artistry bubbling just beneath the surface; he saw in them the same hunger for self-expression and longing for freedom that had driven him to pursue his own artistic endeavours. 

So he carefully crafted a plan. He discreetly left behind pens and paper in the MC's vicinity. He didn't directly hand it to them, opting to let them stumble upon the supplies, hoping that the MC would take notice and feel compelled to pick up the tools on their own accord. Don't ask him why he did so; he doesn't know the answer himself. Perhaps because of an inexplicable curiosity and a desire to see if he could spark something within the MC, to see if he could ignite that same creative flame that burned within him. Or maybe it was simply a gut feeling. Regardless, he watched from a distance as the MC began to tentatively pick up the pens and paper, their eyes alight with newfound inspiration. It brought a g̶e̶n̶u̶i̶n̶e̶ satisfied smile to his face, his tail wagging back and forth in contentment.

Leander

Dance

Leander figured the MC used to be a dancer. It was obvious if one paid close attention; their perfect posture, precision, strength, and flexibility in their body were a dead giveaway. He'd notice the gracefulness in their movements, every step deliberate and full of confidence, and the fluid transitions between postures.

Leander found himself bewitched. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the MC as they'd effortlessly glided around the Wick, their feet barely making a sound against the hardwood floor. It was effortless, seamless, and utterly captivating. He will admit he couldn't help the small smile once he'd noticed the subtle way they would often tap their feet to the rhythm of a song roaring throughout the tavern.

It was a talent that couldn't be hidden, no matter how hard they tried.

His plan was simple: He needed some sort of opening, somewhere to insert himself into the situation without coming across as intrusive (o̶r̶ a̶g̶g̶r̶e̶s̶s̶i̶v̶e̶… o̶r̶ d̶e̶m̶a̶n̶d̶i̶n̶g̶… o̶r̶—). He would simply attempt to start a conversation with them and praise their dance skills, hoping to learn more about that talent of theirs—maybe even ask them for a dance later in the evening—while also finding a way to subtly steer the conversation towards more personal matters.

N̶o̶, i̶t̶ w̶a̶s̶n̶'t̶ n̶e̶r̶v̶e̶s̶ t̶h̶a̶t̶ f̶l̶u̶t̶t̶e̶r̶e̶d̶ i̶n̶ h̶i̶s̶ s̶t̶o̶m̶a̶c̶h̶. I̶t̶ w̶a̶s̶ p̶r̶o̶b̶a̶b̶l̶y̶ t̶h̶e̶ e̶x̶c̶i̶t̶e̶m̶e̶n̶t̶ o̶f̶ t̶h̶e̶ u̶n̶k̶n̶o̶w̶n̶ o̶u̶t̶c̶o̶m̶e̶ t̶h̶a̶t̶ a̶w̶a̶i̶t̶e̶d̶ h̶i̶m̶ a̶n̶d̶ b̶l̶a̶h̶ b̶l̶a̶h̶ b̶l̶a̶h̶—

Mhin

Sculpture

They noticed something was up because the MC. wouldn’t. stop. staring. at their face. The way their eyes lingered on Mhin's features made them feel self-conscious, as if every flaw and imperfection were being scrutinised under a microscope.

Mhin couldn't decipher the intent behind the intense gaze, but it left them feeling both uncomfortable and strangely flattered. They couldn't help but wonder what it was about their appearance that captivated the MC so intensely. It was as if they'd seen something in them that no one else did—something worth examining closely.

They tried to maintain a neutral expression but ended up shifting uncomfortably in their seat, trying to break the look that seemed to be piercing through their very soul. 

It wasn't until the MC finally spoke up, complimenting Mhin's bone structure and suggesting they would make a great model for a sculpting project, that Mhin made the connection.

The revelation made Mhin feel incredibly flattered and intrigued, as they had never considered themselves to be particularly striking or noteworthy. The idea of being immortalised in stone by someone talented was… intimidating. And somehow humbling.

Ais

Architecture

He is observant, and can easily notice a person who seems particularly interested in a specific thing. He observed them, their body language, facial expressions and the way they looked at things around them, their eyes tracing the fine details from afar—it was almost like they were analysing them.

What made his suspicions clear was...the Seaspring. F̶i̶n̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ t̶h̶e̶ d̶a̶m̶n̶ t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ w̶a̶s̶ u̶s̶e̶f̶u̶l̶ a̶t̶ s̶o̶m̶e̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ b̶e̶y̶o̶n̶d̶ b̶r̶i̶n̶g̶i̶n̶g̶ d̶e̶s̶p̶a̶i̶r̶

It was the way they looked at the building in particular; their eyes darted around, as if examining every inch, every line and curve of the temple. He’d smirk to himself, eyes following their every move, as if he could read their thoughts.

He’d bring them anything; from papers, inks and rulers to wood and other building materials. He’d let them demolish, remodel, completely renovate the fucking thing—he couldn’t care less, as long as he had somewhere to rest at night. Besides, their smile was worth more to him than any amount of power he could be offered.

I could make another one with Singing/Music, Theatre and Design or Ceramics perhaps….

[journeythroughtarot]

With August upon us with its fiery sun, all light will fall upon that which has remained in the shadows. So what will be revealed to you in this coming month and how can you embrace this darker side of yourself?

What needs to come out of the shadows this summer?

Pile 1 | Pile 2 | Pile 3

Remember to take what resonates with you and be understanding that the messages from these cards can be applied to all walks of life.

Want a written tarot reading?

Pile 1

Tendered growth will come from looking within Ace of Earth, Earth 3, Healing, and Air 8

This August sun will benefit everything that you wish to grow and now is the time for new beginnings. All the dreams and visions that you have been holding onto may finally find their place in your world, and it is time to plant the seeds of their creation. Start preparing the earth for your new roots and find room in your reality for all that you plan to come to fruition.

Your endeavours will allow you to walk the journey of healing, whatever that may look like for you, and it is this new beginning that will let go of the old ways of thinking. You have perhaps chained yourself too long to what it should look like and the right way of doing it, but this perspective has only held you back, and stopped you from looking within. Be wary of your intentions and what you want to grow out of this, for the hand that hurts others is the hand that hurts itself. Stay true to reality, to the place we all walk the earth, and the mind will find its place among the things you create.

Pile 2

Mastery of your mind, body, and soul Queen of Earth, Fire 10, Fire 7, Water 2

You have already learnt to embrace the shadows, taking great pains to accept the whole of you and your shadow side with compassion, love, and forgiveness. You grace yourself in the knowledge that you have mastery over your home world, carefully cultivating the perfect space for your soul to grow. You take a great amount of pride in all that you have grown - your very own support system that is steeped deeply with a strong intuition and connection with self.

This part of your life however is challenged or even threatened by the other side of you. The side of you that burns with fierce determination. You want to be whole and achieve self-enlightenment, as soon as possible, as quickly as you can. You want to fulfil your every desire of union, perhaps with yourself but perhaps also with a loving partner. But this burning seeks to destroy what you have created to replace it with something else. You must be careful in the knowledge that everything falls into place when it is meant to fall into place. Is this deep desire burning on a fuel far darker than you imagined? Is it fear driving you forward or a need for love? Both will extinguish your spark. Remember that your shadow is your friend - not something to be conquered.

Pile 3

This journey will always take you further than you could imagine possible Earth 8, Ace of Water, Fire 4, The Youth

You are travelling on a journey. Naturally a wondering spirit, you flow with life and all that it can teach you. Perhaps you are searching for something or simply finding your feet. When it comes to embracing the shadows, I can see that this concept might confuse you, as you may not pay attention to the depth they carry as others would with precision and mindfulness. These cards are a reminder of the abundance you carry through life, material and immaterial, as they will serve as your tools, your resources, for the journey ahead. Take care in seeing this abundance as it will lie in places you wouldn't have even begun to think.

This journey is one of opposites, driven forward with precision, targeted action, you want to get things done and done well. You know how to use your skills, but perhaps embracing the shadows will be something new - something you have never faced before. This journey will be emotional, nurturing the depths of yourself and the more vulnerable parts of yourself that you had at some point in your youth, pushed to the side more carelessly. There is an immaturity that needs your attention, and you will gain the wisdom and knowledge you seek through self-growth and development. We all must start at the bottom, in a sense of ignorance and lack of understanding, but this journey will show much to you that you lacked to see before.

[apathycares]

Why I think the ending of MHA makes sense (manga spoilers)

So I came out of hiding specifically because MHA ended and this blog started off as a place for me to ignore my other works/fandoms and write stuff for MHA so it's a given that I talk about it. Just a little disclaimer – MHA is not my first fandom, and I've been watching anime for forever, so I'm not biased when it comes to shipping or how mangakas end their work. I'm purely speaking from a place of my own sense of objectivity.

Also, since I don't think I've shared my opinion on stuff too much here so it might be weird to my current followers (hi!!), I'm gonna do it headcanon style.

Midoriya being a teacher is not farfetched – some people have said it would've been better if Hori made him a strategist or something along those lines, but you all have to remember that his only goal has been to be a hero. If he wanted to become a strategist he would've (a) thought about/been suggested that when he was quirkless and (b) there's nothing TO strategize since the big bads are all gone. Hawks is running the Commission. Police exist in this verse. He wanted to be a hero fully, so if he wasn't able to do that, then the next logical step would be to TRAIN the next heroes.

Bakugou wouldn't have become number one straight out of high school. Bffr. I know it's anime and we don't have to use real life logic but it's been said over and over again that rankings are both based on feats achieved and popularity, and even though that man has accompanied A LOT, he's always going to be rough around the edges, and as a hero, people are just not going to rock with that. But, given Endeavour's example, I think he could become number one with his feats alone as the years go on in spite of his attitude.

Midoriya not keeping in touch with the rest of his classmates except Bakugou (or maybe not being able to, whichever way it was translated) is NORMAL. How many of you keep in touch with your high school classmates after the fact, regardless of how close you were? How many of you outgrow your very real and very deep friendships? Eight years is a long time. Bakugou being left makes sense because they've known each other forever.

No ships were confirmed. Please let us leave the ending of that as it is. BUT! Let's all ship who we want, create for the ships that we want regardless. That's the beauty of fandoms. We can toy around and find joy in it, but PLEASE don't push that a ship is canon when it's not. As an old head anime fan, there's a distinction between those two. We can all have fun and accept that the series ended with no ships.

Continuing off of the previous point, I LOVE that the manga ended with no ships. That just gives us full liberties to do whatever the hell we want in this fandom and have fun without people rearing their annoying heads and writing shit comments about their pairing being canon. No one gets any ammo.

Aizawa cutting his hair is a crime.

Did they give Touya an ending??? Why can't I remember??? Well, the fact that he didn't is another crime

Everyone else's endings were solid (and I don't see much discourse about this so let's leave it at that)

See now that I'm thinking about it again, Aizawa cutting his hair isn't a crime....but why did they do him like that???

Giving Midoriya a hero suit at the end of it and Bakugou holding his hand out was GOLDEN (I'm indifferent about the suit because Teacher!doriya would've been a solid ending, but the holding the hand out squeezed my heart that was a BEAUTIFUL ending to the entire Deku/Kacchan storyline)

Some people are mentioning that Bakugou calling him Deku destroyed it but y'all forgetting that THAT'S HIS HERO NAME. Stop being lame.

I wanna know the full rankings of everyone just to gauge where Bakugou and everyone else are. Maybe Hori might do a lil something, who knows, but I don't think we need a MHA Shippuden.

High key, if we do get a spin off or something, we need a Misadventures of InsertSomeoneHere to see what a DITL of them at 24(?) looks like

Now that I'm looking at this...the fact that I watched this at their age and it ended with them being 24 and I'm currently 24 is.......

Anyways! Those are my very rushed thoughts. As much as people like to play around MHA, it was a great manga, it had a solid ending for the lore that the story was going for, and it was a great ride. I'm excited to see when all of this gets animated and we can ride this ride again, but this fandom will always be special to me.

[mentha-vacciniumrainbow]

Oh oh I have an idea! How about Zestial goes to Carmilla's room in the middle of the night because he heard the girls crying and finds her trying to get baby Clara and Odette back to sleep (and she looks beyond exhausted).

《Zestial. Sorry if we woke you. 》

The man, having been spotted, entered the room and took his place next to his friend's bed. Carmilla, with exhausted eyes, was trying to settle both Clara and Odette

《I was already awake mine dear, doth not trouble thyself 》 he assured, looking at her with a sympathetic smile 《Art the little eanlings being fussy? 》

She sighted

《They're just very tired, so tired they can't fall asleep. It was my fault, I was late for their bedtime 》

It pained him, seeing her being such an hard judge of herself. Parenthood was hard, and she had so much going on, that cutting herself some slacks would have been healthier than continously striving for perfection

《Thou art being too harsh on thyself, dearest. I know for a fact that the delay couldn't have been avoided... being a rising Overlord and a mother is a complex endeavour indeed 》

《We agree, my friend. 》 she conceded, offering him a tired smile of her own 《Can I do something for you? I will always find time if it's you the one who asks 》

《Most certainly 》 he beamed, tending his hands 《Thou could hand me the babies, allow me to aide thee, and then give me the pleasure of seeing thee go enjoy a well deserved night of rest 》

《I don’t want to impose... 》

She shook her head, but he would have none of it, and delicately took the little ones from their mother, settling beside her on the bed

《Thou art not. In fact, I'm the one pleading. 》 he assured, before turning to his lovely cargo and cooing 《Come here little darlings... you're so precious, most certainly you're... as precious as thine wonderful mother 》

《I'm a mess 》 she scoffed, trying to fix her hair a bit

《Nay. Thou art caos, and only a fool wouldn't see the beauty in it. 》

《Thank you, Zestial... you're my dearest friend. 》

She leaned on him, and his heart fluttered as he kissed the top of her head

《And thou’re mine, mine loveliest Carmilla. Until the universe exists, nothing shall make us part 》

As long as they had each other, nothing would be insurmountable.

[bibibbon]

MHA and dumbing down all might

Yes, you heard this right I wholeheartedly believe that horikoshi has been dumbing down all might because some of the stuff that happens really makes no sense.

The canon MHA stats that are made by horikoshi himself state that all might is actually quite intelligent yet we never see it in the series. If all might was very intelligent then wouldn't he :

Train Izuku in basic hand to hand combat? I mean he literally gave izuku A whole diet plan and gym routine so he can build up muscle because he realised that it would be DANGEROUS to give izuku OFA at his current state so wouldn't he also train Izuku in hand to hand so izuku can use OFA in closer range? Like are we talking about the same all might who planned how Izuku's life will go for the past 10 months by a whole schedule couldn't be offer izuku combat training?!?!

Fully explain to him the concequences of OFA? I don't mean anything about AFO but the quirk OFA itself. Even though they were both in a rush you could of had all might warn izuku not to use the quirk until the last moment because he was still weak as a user and needed more time to grasp OFA but he just ends up giving izuku horrible advice which just makes all might look dumb.

Realises how bad of a person bakugo is, plans to then help him and then NOTHING?. This can be easily explained by horikoshi and his absolute love for bakugo but all might actually realises that one of his students needs help and he planned to give bakugo counselling that's more then any other teacher has done but afterwards he also becomes blinded by bakugos "greatness BS"

Realises how much of an escalated battle between izuku and Katsuki but doesn't stop it? This one is 50/50 for me while all might didn't have any audio from both of them he saw how badly that battle escalated and it also escalated so badly to the point you had students like kirishima saying that bakugo was going to murder izuku at this rate. Iam actually fine having this one because maybe all might never understood how bad their relationship was so he allowed this to go on but we could of had an apology scene afterwards where all might could of apologised for not stopping it sooner and have some teachers give him constructive criticism on his teaching.

Actually keeps in mind that his successor is a child and understands that OFA is a big secret for a child to have or keep but then kind of leaves izuku alone with no proper support system? Look I get it. Telling every single living being about OFA is very very dangerous but the only people that do know about it do NOTHING to help or support izuku and with something like OFA Izuku definitely needs support so you could of had at least a bit of the teachers know vague details of the quirk (they don't have to know about how it can be transferred and passed down) but know that Izuku got it late. I get the reason why all might is so strict about telling NO ONE but it doesn't help Izuku. ALSO PROPS ON ALL MIGHT FOR ACKNOWLEDGING THAT IZUKU IS JUST A KID!!!!!

Withholding help from izuku (but not really??) ???. Idk how to word this but let's be honest it's not a good look on all might when you have Izuku learning more from GRAN TORINO AND ENDEAVOUR?!?! When it comes to OFA all might is just there a lot of the time ( he doesn't really do much) and yes you can blame this on the narrative because we don't get that many scenes of them and their relationship in their first place but the point stands it's not a good look on you when you're successor is learning more from people who aren't OFA user's. I know all might was probably afraid of gran Torino and that's why he didn't contact him but like almost withholding and putting off help for izuku isn't a good look especially when we see all might do nothing about izuku breaking his bones.

Forgetting to tell izuku about AFO?? At the beginning of the conversation after the stain arc it's stated that all might forgot tell izuku about the origins of the quirk which rubs me off the wrong way. I think the whole AFO reveal and it's involvement with OFA could of have been a great plot point that would make us see Izuku's feelings and maybe create some tension in AM and izu's relationship which can be sorted out because Izuku just accepting that he is gonna have to FIGHT a full on villain that has killed multiple people with no complaints rubs me off the wrong way

All might is scared of gran Torino because of how hard he was "trained" by him but then brutally beats izuku and bakugo around??? I don't know but the whole final exam fight seemed so out of character of all might especially with how hard he was going at Izuku like recovery girl herself stated that he would of damaged Izuku's lower back a whole lot more if he added more aggression and this makes no sense to me. You're telling me the guy who was beaten around by Torino until he vomited and was on the verge of passing out would do that to his own successor and another students

There are definitely more examples of this happening that I didn't include but the point is the plot and narrative tend to heavily dumb down all might which is sad.

Someone can be a GOOD MENTOR but a BAD TEACHER ( especially if it's with a group of overpowered teenagers) however, the plot doesn't do all might justice.

[killersfool]

I Want You | ELIJAH HEWSON

PAIRING : elijah hewson x original f!character

GENRE: fluff, friends to lovers

SUMMARY: dahlia jenkinson, josh’s sister is asked to fill in as photographer at his bad’s concert. her plan is to ask him out by the end of the show as she’s been crushing on him for ever. what she doesn’t expect is that one of their songs was written about her—and she’s right there when he confesses it.

WORDS: 5.6k

WARNINGS: smoking, drinking, kissing

Friday. Underground. London.

I run through the station passing the endless people, posters and children's screams. My brother, Josh, had asked me yesterday to help out at his band's concert. He'd told me that their photographer had gotten COVID so he needed someone to fill in.

I dragged my roommate along with me as my moral support, seeing as she's heard me spill every secret in my mind about the band's lead singer, Elijah.  I've been helping Josh with his band's endeavours for years and have also had to condone countless sleepovers. I've had the sound of drumsticks crashing together engrained in my head by this point. Robyn has always told me to 'stop being a pussy and ask Eli out on a date' but honestly, I'm terrified I'll ruin everything. This photography thing has really helped to get me new jobs and more exposure.

"So, you still crushing on Eli?" Robyn asks. She's been glancing over at my phone for the past few minutes. I've been texting the band group chat that I've been added to. They usually kick me out randomly. This is the longest period of time I've been in it without having an argument. I'm pretty proud.

"Shut up." I scoff. "If you dare say anything to any of of them, I will kill you."

"I wouldn't," she laughs. I give her a look. "I'll try not to..."

"You and your big mouth."

"I can't help it."

"I shouldn't tell you things."

"Who else would you tell?" She grabs at my phone, noticing a message from Elijah pop up.

It reads: "Missed you. You've always been the better Jenkinson." I try to contain my smile at the stupid message. It's just a couple words beneath a name on a screen and I'm getting all nervous. It's pathetic. God, this is getting bad.

"That's cute," Robyn says and is about to start writing a message back until I snatch my phone back. Who knows what kind of bullshit she'd start sending. She'd surely send some terrible pictures of me. That's happened on many ocassions. I've learnt my lesson to never trust her with my phone.

"Cringe." I type back, although the smile on my face is betraying the words on the screen. I stare at his profile picture for a few seconds. It's a selfie of me and the band. I look half asleep, probably drunk. Eli's hair is all over his face and Josh is squeezing Ryan's cheeks. Bobby is just angrily staring at the camera. He definitely didn't want to be in that photo. It's sweet that Eli has kept his profile picture that way for so long. We haven't seen each other in months. I send another message, "Well you're not my favourite Hewson."

He sends an angry emoji. "Who is then?"

"Bono, course."

He sends a few more angry emojis before spamming the group chat. There is already some kind of argument happening. Robert seems to be late and they're all asking where he is. I switch my phone off, sliding it into my pocket. Robyn's been unusually quiet.

"What have you done this time?" I ask with a subtle tilt of my head. She's chewing on some haribos she'd bought moments ago. She then smirks to herself, "Nothing."

I'm a little worried but decide to brush it off. We leave the train station and I'm struck by the freezing air. I sometimes forget how cold England is. Having moved from Ireland over a year ago, I feel like I should've acclimatised. But, why is it always so cold? I hold my jacket closer to myself to try to warm up.

We pass at least ten people with 'I love London' shirts. Sounds of street sellers are familiar along with the hustle and bustle of late London nights. I see the London Eye twisting in the distance. Big ben is tolling. The venue comes into view a few streets away. I'm dreading it slightly. I feel as if I'm not going to cope this time seeing that ever-so-familiar face. It's as if with each passing month, he gets better looking. It should be crime. I'll probably melt when I see him.

I instead focus on seeing Josh and my excitement for seeing the gig. They've all really improved over the years. They really know how to put on a good show. Adrenaline rushes through my veins. It'll be fine. Surely.

"You're nervous, aren't you?" Robyn takes notice of me fiddling with my earrings. It's become some nervous habit. I find a comfort in twiddling the crystals between my fingers.

"A bit," I say. Honest. "What if he finds out? We'll surely get piss-drunk. What if he only wants to be mates?"

"Lia, darling, you've got to stop overthinking it. After hearing all these stories you've told me, it sounds like he likes you a lot," she says, grinning. "I'll tell you if I see any looks passed or anything suspicious, okay?"

"You're the best." I give her a hug, forgetting for a moment about the crowded streets around us. Robyn hugs are always too good to be true. I sometimes forget how unbelievably short she is and how she tries to suffocate me with her arms.

Just as we're about to continue down the endless streets, I see someone running past us. I barely even realise he's passed me until Robyn points him out. I see long, curly hair and a massive case swung over his shoulder. Bobby. Then, he turns to face us. Blue eyes catch me off guard then a massive grin. He seems to question whether he should stop or get to the venue. He's very late.

"Is that the bassist?" Robyn wonders. "Robert?"

"That's me," he says, retracing his steps. His mullet has gone all messy in the autumn wind. He's trying to swipe away a few stray hairs from out of his face. "Hey Dally. Who's this?" He points towards my friend with a lazy smile.

"This is Robyn. My roommate. She's the one who accidentally stepped on a pigeon."

"Ah." He then turns into his bird lover mode. "How could you do that to a poor, helpless bird? How could you? Can't believe you're called Robyn. That's a disgrace. Wish I was called Robyn. Or sparrow. Or some kind of bird. God, do I love birds—"

"Okay, Robert. We get it," I interrupt with a finger in the air. He crosses his arms over his chest, pouting. Robyn is laughing at his angered demeanour. He always puts on this irritated-sarcastic face in moments like this. He looks like a child after stepping on lego.

"Aren't you late?" Robyn asks the blue-eyed boy. His phone has been pinging with notification throughout the few minutes they have been walking together. He seems to be a little stressed. I have to almost run to keep up with this speed of impossibly long legs.

We approach the venue. It's a huge, pretty rundown building which strikes out in stark contrast to the fancy buildings around it. The words 'Inhaler:tonight' are written on a chalkboard beside the entrance. The place really matches the band for some reason. There's a queue of fans outside. A lot of them are sat down on the pavement. They scream at the sight of the bassist, piling around him. Phones are being held up to take pictures of him.

"Sorry guys, I've got to get inside. Thank you for coming," Robert mumbles.

Robyn and I act as body guards, preventing anyone from getting too close. Banners have been dropped onto the ground, passersby glance over in confusion. There's colourful cowboy hats covered with jewels everywhere. That music video really drove the world crazy. It definitely drove me crazy. I probably make up at least half of the views.

The majority of the crowd continue to take photos. Some say 'Oh my God, that's Josh's sister!' I give them a smile whilst simultaneously pushing Robert forwards.

We finally get to the back door. The gathering give up after a while. They go back to the queue, attempting to slot in to their previous place.

"Well, doors haven't opened yet so you can't be that late," I remark. The front doors are still locked.

"I'm missing sound check though."

I hear music booming quietly through the walls. I open the door, pressing down on it with fingertips. It creaks open to a long corridor with white plastered walls. It smells of fresh paint. The light is barely even attached to the ceiling. It looks like some horror film scene. Creepy.

But then Josh comes around the corner. His guitar is slung over his chest and his face lights up to reveal a huge smile that I've always adored. He's taller than the last time I've seen him. He runs straight towards me, engulfing me with his arms. I'm uncomfortably pressed against his guitar but I couldn't care less. I'm so glad I came. I missed him so much.

Robert slides past us and Robyn awkwardly stands in the doorway. I introduce her to my brother. He gives her a hug as well. She seems to enjoy this whole situation a lot. She's getting all loud and giddy.

The rest of the band are still playing through songs. They're running through 'Dublin In Ecstasy'. Elijah's voice is echoing through the entire building, sliding it's way through my skull. There's a part of me that wants to turn back. I could just make my way back to my apartment, have a cup of coffee and stalk Twitter accounts of people who went to the show. I definitely haven't been doing that for the past few months. I'm not that insane. Or obsessed.

"Do you want to listen to sound check or hang out back stage?" Josh asks us. He's been talking to Robyn, getting to know her and she seems to like him, thankfully. It'd be downright awkward if she hated his guts.

"I'll follow you," Robyn says to Josh. She starts to traipse down the corridor. I watch her curls bounce from side to side as she jumps with every step. She suddenly realises that she's left me behind. "You coming?"

I groan, staring at the door. "Yeah. Fuck it."

I pick up my camera in preparation. I've been using the same one for years. It's got stickers all over it. Some of random bands, some from different countries and little letters spelling out my name. Elijah had bought me a few pages of letters of the alphabet as a birthday present when I turned 15. I still remember that day. We were all huddled inside my living room after being drenched by a sudden storm. There were about fifteen of us, including the band. The fireplace before us was the only source of light in the darkened room. I think I was dating Ryan at that point. That was a strange time. He was sweet. It only lasted a couple of weeks. Elijah had a girlfriend too. Younger me was very jealous. I think that's what made me realise I liked him.

Now, fast forward eight years and my heart is beating in my ears like I'm a teenager all over again.

I allow Robyn to go first. I trail behind. Josh has left us to our own devices and we try to figure out where exactly we're supposed to go. We decide to follow the sounds of music booming. Closer and closer. We go down a staircase, open a door then we're right at the stalls, just beneath the stage. The door crashes so loudly that all of the band stop playing. They all peer down at us.

The band name 'Inhaler' is upon the wall and coloured lights paint the stage. This room is a lot nicer than the exterior. There's a standing area then seats up along the top. The walls are painted a deep shade of crimson with gold lines intricately painted everywhere. It's too good to be true. It feels so weird being at one of their gigs again. It feels even weirder to see all of them in the same place at the same time.

I trace my gaze along the stage. I take a quick glance at Josh who is tuning his guitar, then Ryan who's staring at us with wide eyes. I shift my eyes a little further to see Elijah. He's dropped his mic at the sight of us. I take notice of the length of his hair. It's falling over his eyes, a mess of curls shrouding his face. He's wearing a white vest top and a bulky blazer which is holding onto his shoulders for dear life. I can't see him very well from here. What I can see is the complexity of his gaze. The way he's looking at me is making me nervous. I take a deep breath.

"Dahlia?!" Ryan calls out. He drops his drumsticks similarly to Elijah.

"Surprise?" I say. I thought Josh had told them I was coming. "Wait, did Josh not tell you?"

Elijah picks up the microphone from the ground, not taking his eyes away from mine. "Josh, you gobshite. I thought she was coming next week," he says into the mic, words jumping through my ears. I hate how warm his voice is through those speakers. It's sickening.

"Well, I'm not complaining." Ryan jumps down from the stage, giving me and Robyn a hug. It's a group hug where we're all squashed together. He's grinning from ear to ear.

"You're still short," I say. I can still look down on him, especially with my chunky boots. He rolls his eyes.  "This is Robyn." I introduce my roommate to both Ryan and Elijah.

"Nice to meet you," Elijah murmurs as he jumps off the stage. He's left the mic on the stand. He's pushing his hair from his face.

Robyn gives me a look, raising an eyebrow in the direction of Elijah. She's got a malevolent smile. What's she going to do? Maybe I shouldn't have brought her.

"I've heard all about you." Robyn gives Elijah a little wink. I kick the back of her leg .

His lip raises the slightest bit. I find myself staring at his mouth for far too long. There's stubble lining his chin and a splatter of freckles on his cheeks. "Have you, now?" His low voice drifts through the air. He's maintaining eye contact with me. I'm trying to evade his gaze.

"She's exaggerating." I assure him, trying to stop myself from giving Robyn another thwack.

"Eli! We have like 5 minutes until door opens and Dublin In Ecstasy is a mess. Get up here. You can swoon later." Robert is already playing the introduction to the song. Ryan and Josh join in.

"Swoon?" Eli shakes his head with a grin.

"We're just that amazing," Robyn whispers to me.

I hold up my camera, taking a picture of the three lads on stage. Then I point it at Elijah. I take a few of his confused face before he leaves us to sing along to the music.

"He's whipped." Robyn watches as he climbs back onto the stage. "Likes you so much he can barely even function-" She points out how he can't even plug his guitar in. He's been trying to shove the lead in for a while but his eyes are wandering elsewhere. "You've got to say something to him. He's leaving tomorrow, isn't he? Maybe tonight.."

I breathe in. "Alright. I'll try."

Robyn and I hum along to the tune. Elijah's rough vocals make my mind go cloudy. He sounds so much crisper in person. I think back to the cuts and bruises vinyl on my shelf. Robyn had bought it the day it came out. Josh sent me every version possible. Robyn went on about supposedly being 'the first person in the world who bought it'. She said she saw the record in HMV and instantly thought of me. We had stayed up late that night to listen through each track. Eating popcorn, drinking alcohol, talking about random shit. That was when I told her everything about Elijah. From the schoolgirl crush, to the trying to forget him then to the full-blown infatuation. She enjoyed listening to every detail I had to offer.

Elijah continues singing. I'm holding my breath, my palms are sweaty, I feel my heart pulsing at my throat. Robyn is swaying to each beat of the drums. Elijah won't stop looking at me.

Then the song ends and we all tun backstage, in an attempt to evade the incoming fans. I hear shouts echoing in the distance. We've gathered in a little room backstage. Josh is showing me some fancy chocolates he bought in Rome. I'm taking pictures of the band members. Robyn keeps photobombing. I rest my head upon the armrest of the sofa, closing my eyes. It feels nice. Calm. Until, someone settles beside me. They grab my legs so that they can properly sit down. The hands are cold and fingertips are calloused. That someone is Elijah. "Excited for the show?"

He's got his pre-show drink in one hand and his phone in the other. I close my eyes once again.

I shift around in the soft cushion attempting to get into a more comfortable position. He scoffs and pulls my legs up by the ankles to rest them over his thighs. "I know you're tired," he says. He takes a sip of his drink. "But if you dare fall asleep during the show, I will throw my guitar at you." I move my legs around his thighs then actually raise my head to look at him. I take a picture as he makes a stupid face. I don't know how he can do that whilst still looking pretty.

"Is this comfortable?" I ask. He's been very still. "I can move if you want."

"It's nice... fine," he mumbles as he scrolls through messages on his phone. "Reminds of that music lesson. Must've been our first year of secondary school. You fainted after some practice test we did. We were sat in this exact position for at least an hour. I think my legs stopped working."

I try to bring my head back to the memory. He was so different back then. Shorter hair, insanely asthmatic. He only knew me as Josh's twin sister. Somehow that was enough for him to stay there with me and keep me safe. After that, he had some complex where had to look after me with his life. It was charming.

"I had to kick you about nine time because you feel asleep, " I recall. My mind is wandering through moments I can barely even remember. "You were so strange."

"I could've left you there in the practice asleep. You should be thanking me for saving you from embarassment-"

"Why, thank you. Oh how you've changed my entire life. I owe you all that I have."

He shakes his head, squeezing the skin at the bottom of my ankle. He then rests his hand there. As if it's normal. He's still reading through messages, biting the top of the plastic cup.

"When do you lot go on then?" I ask everyone.

Robyn has started drawing eyeliner onto the other boys. She just pulled it out of her pocket randomly and asked if they wanted her to do it. They've filed into a queue. She's done some graphic liner on Bobby with little stars that makes his bright eyes pop out all the more.

"Ten minutes." Ryan is putting some hair gel through his hair. He puts some music on using a bluetooth speaker they placed in the corner. Lover, You Should've Come Over by Jeff Buckley comes on. I'm trying to stop myself from falling asleep but it's getting harder with each passing second.

"I'm so excited," Robyn says as she does Josh's eyeliner. She's made his more smudgy and messy. It suits him a lot.  "Elijah, should I do yours? Or Dahlia can do it?" She passes the tube towards me. There's some malicious intent behind her eyes. I narrow my eyes down to the black contraption, taking it uneasily between my fingers.

He lays down his phone and drink. He's trying to push all the hair out of his face to give me some access to his eyes. I kneel down on the sofa beside him. I grab a hair bobble from my wrist then tie the top half of his hair up. He groans as I pull some strands way too hard then relaxes into my touch. He smells like cigarette smoke and cologne.

"How should I do it?" I wonder out loud. I've opened the tube and I'm trying to figure out the best way to go about this. He looks like his teenage self with his hair like this. His eyes are maintaining a hard eye contact as I near him. There's a warmth rising to my face.

Robyn pulls out her phone and shows me a picture of Rodrick Hefley. I snort. "Try it like that," she says.

Elijah closes his eyes as I begin to draw little lines then smudge. I've grabbed his chin to keep him in place. I can feel the sharp stubble poking at my fingers. He opens his eyes every now and then. They're half-lidded, watching. I poke his eye by accident. I scold him for opening his eyes. He decided to instead keep them closed.

I admire my work once I've done. It's not my best liner but it's alright. The other boys gather around to get a look at him. His hazel eyes come into view and he smiles widely at the sight of us all. "Does it look good?"

"Looks class," Ryan says as he grabs a mirror. The other boys nod along.

Elijah looks at himself. He seems to not know if he likes it or not. He smiles at me and says, "Thanks, love."

I just smile back, pulling out the bobble from his hair. An unruly splatter of curls cascade across his forehead. There's something about him wearing eyeliner that's stopping me from thinking straight. It's different. I'm still sat half on top of him, one knee resting on his thigh and the other on the sofa. He helps me off of him then stands up.

He ruffles his hair as he says, "Let's get going lads."

The four boys grab everything they need for the show. Water bottles, instruments, drumsticks, their sanity. They all give each other a group hug. It must be some pre-show ritual because they all down their drinks at the exact same time. If that wasn't planned, it was uncanny.

"Good luck." I wave them off and they travel down the corridor in a straight line. As each of them walk out, I take a picture. Elijah is the last to leave. He stops in the doorway, still holding his plastic cup. He raises his lip to reveal his white teeth as I take the picture. He really enjoys making the strangest faces.

"If you don't get our best angles, I'll have to think about firing you." Elijah warns me just before he turns around. He then disappears down to another asylum-like corridor before I can get a chance to insult him. I let out a breath.

"That went well, right?" Robyn's trying to figure out what's going through my head. I can't even comprehend anything that just happened. The feel of his hand still lingers at my ankle. "That whole time you were talking to Josh about those chocolates, he was staring you down. It was pretty creepy, to be honest." She laughs. "Don't even get me started on the eyeliner. All of us felt like total third wheels."

"Sorry," I say. I play around with the bobble at my wrist. It had been wrapped around those glorious curls only moments ago. "God, I'm so in love it hurts."

"That's how I felt when I started liking Emmy. Literally all I could think about was her." Robyn is in a daze, eyes glued to the wall. "You need to do something before it's too late."

"After the set, I will tell him." I finally accept my fate. I could possibly not see him until next year. Or the year after. Who knows how busy I could get?

"Good," Robyn says. "I'm tired of hearing Elijah this Elijah that. Girl, I get it."

"You had an Emmy this Emmy that phase. Don't even start."

She frustratedly sighs. "Come on. I think they're going on."

I hear the crashing of drums reverberating through every wall, every floorboard. Slowly, we approach the main room. The bodyguard lets us through to the wings of the stage. I can see all the crowd from this angle. There are phones, cowboy hats and banners littered through the crowd. Some of the audience are people we had seen when Bobby was surrounded. They're screaming at the sight of the band.

The first song they play is These Are The Days. I keep my camera handy through every song. Elijah takes notice of us standing there. He steals a glance at us when he has a chance to breath. He's singing a lot stronger than I'd ever seen online.

Then they play through a few more songs on the new album. I sing along, I dance, I try not to get blinded by the flashing lights. Then all of a sudden they've finished playing Love Will Get You There and he turns to look right at me.

"This next song..." His words are pretty slurred. He's drunk. "This is an old one. I wrote this when I was about 17. There was this girl at my school who I just liked so much— I couldn't even focus in class. I played it to her once we'd got it perfect and she had not a single clue that it was about her. She still doesn't. It's been six years and I've never told her." He pauses and looks at me. "This is for you."

I'm overwhelmed by emotion. I raise an eyebrow at him. He just starts strumming along with his guitar. That's when I realise he's playing I Want You. They'd played that song to me in Elijah's garage. I asked him who it was about. He lied and said it was about his ex-girlfriend. I never thought twice about it. I never listened to it because it made me sick to my stomach that it was about her. A girl who I had been so jealous of.

"You got your lipstick on..." He starts singing. He's literally pointing at me. The crowd looks confused. They can't see me.

"Oh, Jesus," Robyn exclaims. "Oh, wow. I can't believe this. He's fucking confessing! Dally, I'm so happy for you right now. What the hell!"

Robyn is just as shocked as I am. We're both slack-jawed, wide-eyed yet caught in a silence as the song goes on. The crowd sings along with each and every line. The other members of the band have caught on with what is happening. They all seem to be pretty proud. Especially Josh. He's smiling so big it's making me smile too.

The truth is, I don't want the song to end. Or the show. I just want this moment to drag on forever. It all feels too good to be true.

The song finishes, the lights switch off, the crowd screams. I'm left in the darkness. Robyn is holding onto my side for dear life. The only thing illuminating the world around us is a tiny light bulb above us. My eyes start to get used to the darkness. I see a figure approaching.

"Can you come with me?" It's Elijah. His cheeks are tinged a shade of bright red. There's sweat lining his throat and his chest. He's taken off the blazer and has slung it over his shoulder. The eyeliner has bled down a little.

"Yeah..." I'm exasperated. My throat is raw from singing so much. My brain can barely process what is happening around me. My hands want to reach out and hold him close to me.

He grabs my hand, pulling me down through a corridor. We're both running towards the back door. I'm trying to match his pace but his longer legs give him an unfair advantage.

We finally reach the exit. He opens the door for me, allows me to pass through then shuts it. I'm met by London streets. Brick walls, crooked alleyways, a rubbish bin. It's not particularly romantic. But, with him standing there in front of me, it becomes the most romantic place on Earth.

"It wasn't supposed to happen like that," he admits. "I just couldn't stop thinking about you when you left. I was going to tell you at the airport when you were about to leave Dublin. So that you could think it through without us seeing each other every day. Then I got fucking terrified."

"I was going to tell you then too." I press my back against the wall. He's pulled out a packet of cigarettes. He offers me one. I let it rest between my lips. "I had plucked up some courage after I went to the toilet but then I sat beside you and forgot the whole script I'd planned out in my head. That was a pretty awkward five minutes. Felt like a century."

"We're idiots, aren't we?" He says as he lights his cigarette. "Josh has always known. I don't know how he never told you. He's great at keeping secrets. Six years of keeping his mouth shut. I don't know how he has that much self control."

"Six years?" I blow out a puff of smoke into the air. My eyes wander across the star covered sky. The moon is looming and watching us.

"I know." He's blushing again. He's trying to keep his distance from me, leaving a slight gap between us. "I'm pathetic."

"I liked you for longer."

"What?"

"Eight years. Since the day you started dating the blonde girl." I feel stupid saying it out loud. He's laughing at me.

"That's class."

We stand there in silence just looking at each other. I can hear ambulance sirens and birds calling. The brick walls is hard against my back. My shoes are covered in water from standing in a puddle. I can imagine that there's a camera above us. This could be a scene straight out of a film.

"Are you going to kiss me then?" Some sudden burst of confidence brings those words from my lips.

He's taken aback. His eyes fall down to my mouth. He then takes a step closer. I can feel his breath at my cheeks.

"Do you want me to?" His voice goes all low and his accent gets thicker. His hand reaches up to cup my cheek. Metal presses against my cheekbone. His thumb lazily draws a line across my bottom lip. His words hang in the air. "Dahlia, my love. Do you—"

I press my lips to his. I can't hold back anymore. I can taste the smoke on his tongue. His mouth is minty and his lips are soft. I've imagined this moment countless times. In a bookstore, in a train station, in the garage. But, this is perfect. Perfect.

My fingers sink into his hair. He groans into my mouth as I pull a few strands at the back. His thumb is sliding across my cheekbones. He's dropped the cigarette to instead use his other hand to clutch my waist. My hands are at his chest. His heart is beating incredibly fast. He holds me tight against him until I feel his chest rise and fall. Up and down. Breathing in and out.

We hear voices behind us. He pulls away quickly. We both turn to see a group of fans. They're teenagers and they're all dressed in bright outfits. They didn't see anything but they seem rather suspicious, whispering.

"Eli! Oh my God!! Can you take my BeReal please?" One of them shouts over.

Elijah runs his fingers over his lips. His ears are a pink shade. He slides his hand away from my waist.

"Yeah, sure!" He approaches the three girls with a small smile. He's trying to act normal. "I love your hats." He points at the 3 cowboy hats which spell out the word 'Inhaler' when they're all stood side-by-side.

"Thank you so much!" The darker haired girl passes him her phone. "Your eyeliner looks so good. You should do it like that more often."

"I had a grand makeup artist." He winks. I roll my eyes.

"Could Dahlia be in it?" The girl with glasses notices how I've awkwardly shifted to the side.

"Course she can," Elijah says.

I stand in the frame next to Elijah as he holds up the phone. His lips are red after being stained by my lipstick. I drop my head onto his shoulder and close my eyes. He nestles his face into my hair as he takes the picture. We're both giggling like lunatics.

I'm so glad it happened like this.

[dream0fschism]

Can you write soap fingering reader till she can't take it anymore im begging you 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

you see

i love johnny and i love fingering. perfect!

here you go honey.

Your favourite thing about Johnny had always been his eyes.

Your second favourite thing about him was his spontaneity.

He never failed once to take you by surprise with his sexual endeavours... and you never refused them.

You'd been sat in his lap, innocently, with one of his hands snaked around your waist comfortably and the other resting over one of your thighs. As he'd conversed with his friend Simon, and a few others who were visiting your shared apartment for drinks, you were happy to listen along whilst they exchanged stories and made their shitty jokes amongst each other.

And then you'd felt it, the sensation of Johnny's hand as it slowly slithered its way underneath the fabric of your skirt, and the warm fingers that were smoothing over the sensitive skin of your thigh.

Nobody could see it, the table in front of you both blocked most of the view - the side uncovered was fortunately unoccupied. The perfect opportunity.

"Now you're just being ridiculous," Johnny exclaimed, loud enough to snap you back into the room and acknowledge the conversation that had been ongoing the entire time. "Coming from the man who drinks fuckin' tea."

"Get your head out your arse," replied Simon, narrowed eyes sending daggers in your boyfriend's direction.

"Who doesn't drink tea?" Asked, who you think was John, the man with the moustache and cheeky face - as you'd noted. "The fuck do you drink to relax with?"

"Oh, I dunno, a fuckin' beer?"

The conversation made no sense to you, and you wouldn't bother to give it a second thought anyway. Not when Johnny's fingers had begun to rub circles into your clothed folds - still conversing with his work mates as if he was just casually scratching his head.

And you would be lying if you said it wasn't turning you on more. But the idea of being caught still caused tiny flames of anxiety to lick at your stomach, and you leaned yourself forward to rest your elbow onto the table with your cheek on your palm.

You stayed like this for a while, as the almost deafening sound of male discussion rang through your ears minute after minute. It felt like hour after hour when Johnny's hand didn't falter once, and you knew he was making sure you were getting nice and wet for him.

After a while you edged your legs open, subtle, silently urging your boyfriend to do more but he only kept rubbing, until the slickness at your hole had absolutely saturated the lace of your panties.

"Are you... feeling okay?"

Johnny jolted you with one knee, bringing your attention from the paintings on the kitchen wall to the man, Alejandro if you remembered right, who'd asked you a question. You must have made some sort of noise.

"Me? Oh - yeah, yeah. I'm alright. Just get little cramps sometimes."

Lies aside, you were far from alright. The man beneath you had successfully brought you so close to the edge that the hand on your face squeezed at the skin it could find purchase of. And then he stopped, whilst your eyes were doing their best not to widen, watering as two skilled fingered wandered beneath your underwear.

To cope, you had to wipe a hand over your face with a feigned nonchalance. Johnny had pressed two fingers into you almost immediately and pressed deep enough for his fingers to curl and massage at the spongey nerves.

"I don't know a single person who doesn't like Italian food mate," spoke the youngest man out of all of them, whose name you couldn't remember.

"We should definitely all go, then, it sounds nice, Gaz," John replied with a nod. "You'd come too, wouldn't you?"

Luckily, you'd made sure to be extra attentive to avoid repeating any mistakes. The question had been directed at you.

"Oh, yeah," you enthused, accidentally drawing out the word a little too much as Johnny's long fingers teased at your insides in slow, hard thrusts of his hand. "I'd love to come."

That earns your pussy the harshest slam of them all, and your eyes really do well up with bliss this time as Johnny continues his assault on your walls with purpose. You feel it building and building, the coil in your stomach tightening painfully as you squeezed your thighs together out of fear. You were not confident you'd be able to keep your mouth shut if you came.

You'd stopped Johnny's fingers from being able to push in and out, but they could still tease at your insides. You had no clue how he could do it; like clockwork, he rubbed with his digits and wouldn't stop until he knew you were just about to fall apart. And then his fingers would still.

He did this four times.

Until you tried to grind yourself down onto him in your desperate state, and he'd realised himself just how much of a struggle keeping still - and undetected by the others - was for you.

When your orgasm hit you, your only comfort was being able to bury seventy-five percent of your face into your hand as the muscles in your legs became rigid to the point of pain. Waves of pleasure wracked your frame, overshadowed the discomfort your fiercly clenched jaw was bringing you.

Johnny, after slowly inching his fingers out of you, had pressed a light peck to your cheek before he slid you off of him and paced towards the bathroom.

You could only sit back down into the chair and, with shaky hands, reach for the glass of wine you'd been neglecting.

[medusasea]

Touya's Reasons

Now, let's make this clear from the beginning. Endeavour was a bad father. His quirk marriage to father a child with a specific quirk in order to make them his successor is messed up. The way he handled Touya's was messed up. What he did to the rest of the family after Touya's supposed death was downright disgusting. But was his treatment of Touya really that bad that he would turn him into a murderer?

From what we see, Endeavour used to be very cheerful and nice during training with Touya. After Touya started getting burns he put an end to the training and he even did this peacefully. Some Dabi defenders point out that Endeavour pushed Touya to the side and that he should've started a different activity with Touya. I don't see it like that at all. We see Endeavour talk to Touya way more than he does to the rest of the kids before Shoto was born. It was only after Touya tried burning baby Shoto that Endeavour largely isolated Shoto from the rest of the siblings. Now, considering Endeavour wanted to train Shoto but not Touya, it is likely he would've spent more time with Shoto anyway, but Touya tried to kill or at least harm Shoto as a baby, way before the training started. The thing is, the Endeavour never trained Fuyumi nor Natsuo, who are younger than him. Enji never told Touya about his plans to get a successor, Touya found out by himself, but I don't know how. Since nobody told him about the plan and neither of his siblings got training at that point, what made him think his parents were trying to bring a child with a specific quirk into the world? Shoto was also just a baby. It is nomal for older siblings to feel jealousy, but Shoto was way too young to start the training and he was just a baby while Touya was around 10. He should've felt more sympathy for a defenseless baby. As for Endeavour starting a new activity with Touya, I agree that Touya needed that, but do you think Touya himself would've realized this? He was burning himself up to prove himself to his father, even though the latter told him multiple times to stop. Do you seriously think Touya would've been open for a new activity when he was so obsessed with becoming a hero? If your child is burning themselves, would starting a new activity really seem like it would help? Or at least it wouldn't be the first thing to pop into your mind. What Touya needed was first and foremost counseling and self control. I do not condone any of Endeavours actions, in fact they were very stupid, I just don't see how they would drive Touya to murder.

After Touya escapes the hospital he wants to return to his family only to see Endeavour being even more abusive than before with Rei and SHoto being his (biggest) victims and his family overall living on after his supposed death. This finally drives him to villainy. Except there have been 3 years since his family thought he died. They did not abandon him and they did not move on right away, Touya only didn't see them mourn because it has been 3 years since he disappeared and he knows this things. So he shouldn't have any reason to get revenge on them sans Endeavour and maybe Rei, since she was an accomplice in her husband's plan to get a successor and she didn't stand up for herself as much as she should.

I agree that his experience was hard. His father was very proud of him when they did gero training only for that to get stripped away from him once he got burns and his father not dealing with it in a professional way. However, he was getting burned. There is a difference between being stubborn and being desperate. I can still sympathize with his disappointment, but I can't sympathize with his obsession to the point of getting burned, even if the people in your life discourage you to and they still show you love and affection nor with his desire to murder, especially innocent people.

[your-divine-ribs]

Breathe

Words: 1.2k

Request from these NSFW prompts: 65. “I know baby, I know. I’m right here, just breathe” // and this ask I received which I’ve copied below // sorry it’s short and a bit crap I’m struggling to write new stuff at the moment xxx

I was thinking a really intense session with Van, like say you’ve just had a really shitty day and want a release and Van just wants to take care of you and distract you. Properly pin you down and have a safe word and everything, and you’re nearly going into subspace, crying at the pleasure and he’s just hovering above you one hand on your cheek getting him to focus on him while he makes you cum again and again and again.

Imagines Masterlist Main Masterlist

Van was a perfectionist and very thorough in everything that he did, so when you approached him that evening in your melancholy mood, telling him that you wanted to forget all about your stresses and your woes just for one night, he was only too eager to try and help obliterate those troublesome worries from your overwrought mind...

"I know you got one more in you babe. Just breathe through it, c'mon... focus on me. You feel unbelievable."

He's hovering over you, slick with sweat, pumping into you at a maddening pace, doggedly determined in his endeavour to fuck every last scrap of worry out of your head, just like you'd begged him to.

You've lost track of how many times he's made you come, how many times he's built up your pleasure nice and slow, hot sticky waves of euphoria that mount and mount uncontrollably until he tips you carelessly over the edge into a void of mind-shattering bliss.

He'd started off using his fingers and tongue, probing into every wet inch of you, spreading you wide so he could take his fill, pinning your juddering body down as you'd bucked and whined helplessly beneath him. Now he's fucking into you slow and deep and steady, your cunt so wet and swollen like an over-ripe fruit, dripping with the sweetest nectar that he'd coaxed from you time and time again until you thought you might shatter into a million pieces.

"I can't... I don't think I can... not again... please... oh god please..."

Your words are stuttered and choked, punctuated by pitiful whines and gasps, your head lolling from side to side on the sweat dampened pillow as heat churns in your core like molten lava. Despite your impassioned pleas your legs are still wrapped tightly around his slim hips, heels pressed into the small of his back, keeping him close.

It's your overstimulated body that's begging him for mercy, your hips trying to instinctively retreat from his insistent thrusts as your body shudders uncontrollably. Your mind's on another page entirely, the dark and twisted part of you that relishes being completely under his control. He knows this of course, it's the reason you have a safe word for occasions like this.

"You're doing so good for me love," he praises, soft and sweet, words like honey oozing into your pleasure-saturated mind. "You're so fucking pretty like this... but we can stop if it's too much? What colour are you? It's important you tell me... green or red?"

He's braced above you with his elbows on either side of your head, your writhing body pressed into the mattress by his body weight, his lust laden gaze never faltering as it bores into yours.

"G... green," you stammer, tears pricking at your lashes and blurring your vision. You whimper as his hips snap up against yours, driving his cock even deeper, his pelvis grinding deliciously against your over-sensitive bud.

"That's my good girl," he cooes down on you, a hand raising up to stroke tenderly over your hot, tear-stained cheeks. "You feel so good. Always so perfect f'me."

You're sure his favourite place to be in the whole world is right between your spread thighs, and you wouldn't have it any other way. He's addictive. No matter how much he gives you, you always want more. And he's always willing to give.

"You gonna come all over my cock pretty girl? Wanna feel you let go for me one more time."

You eagerly nod, and his hand drops back down to curl around the crook of your leg which he presses upwards between your two bodies, spreading you even wider for him.

"Ahh... fuck," you gasp, the new angle punching the breath from your lungs at every thrust, the friction on your tender clit sore but blissful, mind-numbingly so.

You're beautiful like this he thinks, skin hot and flushed, sticky with the heat of your arousal, eyes wide and glossy, unfocused and brimming with tears. It's all because of him, and he can't get enough of that fact, an arrogant smirk stretching wide on his lips when you whine like you can't take any more. He wishes he could take a snap-shot of you like this and commit it to memory forever.

"Van... please," you croak out, your voice hoarse and cracked, not even sure what you're begging for.

You're in danger of becoming totally lost, incapable of any coherent thoughts apart from the dizzying pleasure that soaks your fucked out brain. The air around you is a furnace, chokingly thick and sticky, heady with the scent of sex. The sharp slap of his hips clashing with yours and the obscenely soaked sound of your sopping pussy fill your ears. It heightens everything, your mind spinning away to a hazy realm of pure sensation. And he's right there with you, ever watchful and ever mindful, guiding you through each high, not letting you lose your focus.

"I know, baby, I know. I'm right here, just breathe. Look at me... don't close your eyes now. I wanna see you... stay with me."

And at that moment you feel the coil in your core snap once again, a raw groan spilling from your lips as bright white stars burst across your field of vision, your pussy fluttering and clenching around him, squeezing him tight. Every muscle in your body tenses and shakes, your finger-nails digging tiny furrows deep into the skin of his back. You cry out his name again, hear him hiss out curses as he finds his own release, his expression creased in euphoria.

"Fucking hell, that was unreal," he groans as his hips finally stutter to a stop, his eyes dark and hungry as he looks down at you in awe. He untangles himself from your limb so he can cup your face in his hands, thumbs gently brushing away your tears. "Love you so much babe. Are ya okay? Are ya feeling better now?"

He eyes you carefully as he gently shunts his hips back to slip out of you. His skin's all tacky and sticky with sweat as his body slides over yours and he pauses, hovering there again, his gold chain dangling in the space between you and catching the dim lamplight as it twirls.

"Mmm..." you hum dreamily, catching the small semi-circular pendant between your fingers as you gaze up at him, sleepy and hazy-eyed, satisfied and worn in a way that you feel your limbs might melt into the comforting softness of your mattress. "So much better. Can't even remember what I was feeling stressed about in the first place now if you must know."

He chuckles at that, hair all shaggy and mussed, falling messily around his handsome face. "It wasn't too much for you then?"

"Maybe I like it when you're too much."

"Oh really? You want more then? Because that's a service I can certainly provide." He leans over to kiss you and his eyes are heavy-lidded and glazed when he pulls back. He looks inebriated… woozy… drunk on love.

"You're not actually serious are you?"

Your voice comes out high-pitched in disbelief as you look up at him, watch the slow, teasing smile spread on his lips.

"Never been more serious babe. You know how it goes when it comes to you... you know I'm up for anything. Anything that you need... I'm yours any time you want.”

[mywingsareonwheels]

Here be yet more Fred Thursday musings ;-)

[Long post and spoilers for all of Endeavour here.]

So, I was thinking yet again (for the billionth time ;-) ) about Fred Thursday and the three people we see him kill over the course of Endeavour while trying to save someone else:-

Mrs Coke-Norris

Ludo Talenti

Raymond Kennitt/Peter Williams

The show seems to be pointing us into believing that the third of those is somehow much, much worse than the first two and I... have a problem with this.

I mean, in all three cases Fred was responding to an immediate threat to life (of someone he cared about, and in the second and third cases also Fred himself). In the case of Mrs C-N Fred was officially on duty which gives him some extra legal cover, but I'd say no extra moral cover.

I'm no legal expert, but from what I understand, under English-and-Welsh law, none of the three were murders; you're looking at manslaughter at worst, at best a good case for self/other-defence, which... is a grey area but certainly a decent defence lawyer could have had a good go.

(It is worth noting, of course, that this is the morseverse and this is Fred Thursday; he's made so many enemies both in the criminal justice system and among criminals, mostly through doing actively good things, that his chances of either a fair trial or then surviving prison are basically non-existent. I think we have to weigh all of Morse's decisions in "Exeunt" with that in mind because there's no way Morse isn't aware of it. Sam's chances of surviving prison for drug-dealing I think we can assume would also be remote, again due to the enemies Fred has made. And I think again, we have to weigh both Fred's and Morse's decisions with that in mind.)

So... yeah. I think there are only three things that you might consider as making the killing of Raymond Kennitt worse than that of Ludo Talenti or Mrs Coke-Norris:-

the use of the knife rather than a gun, which makes it theoretically possible that Fred could have found a way to end the fight that didn't involve killing Kennitt. That does strike me as something that's probably easier to see from a backseat than if you're Fred in the middle of what's happening, but still.

we know Kennitt's horrifying backstory (not that Fred does), and so feel huge amounts of compassion for him even though he's obviously awful in the "present", and sympathy for the grief that Jakes would feel if he knew what had happened. That's inevitable I think, but, well. Can we be sure that Mrs C-N and Ludo aren't child abuse survivors too? (We do know that Fred and Charley both are, though not the details.) All in all, I think this is a show that wants us to feel compassion for as many characters as possible, and I don't want to assume that Mrs C-N and Ludo didn't end up Like That for no reason.

the fact that Fred kills Mrs C-N and Ludo in defense of Morse (the protagonist, Fred's protege, and a character we all love) and kills Kennitt in defense of Sam (a more minor character, and Fred's son). I would hope that Morse wouldn't see it like that and that neither does Russell Lewis because obviously that's a dreadful position to hold, but... yeeeah. It would annoy me a lot if that's part of the reasoning of the show, but protagonist-centered morality is a flaw in an awful lot of fiction, and while Endeavour mostly doesn't give into it, I don't think any writers are immune. So I do have a horrible suspicion that this is the bit that makes the actual difference, even though I really think it shouldn't be. If Fred had killed Kennitt to save Morse rather than Sam... would we as an audience feel differently? (I ask that of myself as well as of anyone else who wants to ask it of themselves! And honestly, I probably would feel better about the killing if it was for Morse, even though rationally I know it's no different!)

I'd actually say that in the case of the killing of Kennitt there are a couple of minor mitigating factors that the first two lack:-

Fred is in the worst state mentally we ever see him in "Exeunt", and is completely falling apart; earlier in the day he had some form of heart episode or possibly severe panic attack. At any rate: he's going through hell and he is ill as a result.

I can't actually remember if he has his gun with him during the fight with Kennitt, but he certainly isn't willing to use it given the situation; the knife is Kennitt's not his, and a weapon you aren't intending to use is for practical purposes not here, so he's... taken on an armed man while essentially unarmed. Fucking berserker that he is. Rather than two people with guns going up against each other.

you can see a moment of decision in Roger's face for the killings of both Mrs C-N and Ludo; by Fred's own account to Morse (which I think we can take as honest) he didn't make any conscious decision to kill Kennitt (see above re awful mental state).

Honesty? I think that killing in immediate self-defence and/or defence-of-other is however as close to necessary and justified as killing ever gets, and I'm inclined to be extremely forgiving about all three deaths. I'm not sure Fred had a real choice in any of the three cases.

What Fred does do in the third case that really is different of course is the cover-up, in misleading everyone, in being an absolute arsehole to Morse when he comes to check on him that night. In all of it it's massively, massively understandable (as he's a) ill, b) still trying to protect Sam). Morse's sense of betrayal though is also massively understandable. Ugh. My heart hurts. *shakes fist at Russell Lewis, and also at Roger and Shaun for being so amazing*

Anyway. Do I have an overall point? Probably: Fred Thursday is a complicated character and I love him and I want to hug him and also throw things at him. He has horrible violent tendencies but he isn't a murderer under English-and-Welsh law, and I don't think s9 makes sense unless we interpret him as very mentally unwell by the end of it. Also: Morse and Thursday both need different jobs, holy shit. Also also: I reckon Morse ended up forgiving Thursday and being in touch with him, because he is pretty fair when given time to process things, and he doesn't have Morse-centered morality. Also also also: Russell Lewis is a meanie and I want more fix-it fics. ;-)