#or other stuff with the comedy Italian accent

[sorio99]

Random, irrational pet peeve of mine: when people place the -a incorrectly in comedy Italian voice writing, so if you were to read it out loud it wouldn’t sound natural.

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

Good Omens 2 episode 4: just collide, you two dumb coconuts

After watching both the Edinburgh corpse episode and the Nazi zombie episode, I can confidently conclude that Neil Gaiman did not wash his water bottle and the mold flourished during those few weeks in which those episodes were written, but I cannot even say it’s a bad thing.

Michael Sheen and David Tennant could read the phonebook and it’s the most amazing piece of media you’ve ever seen.

Speaking of those two, *takes a deep breath* *join hands in front of my mouth* *takes another deep breath* I’m fine. They just play their characters so stupidly in love with each other. I think that’s my meta for the episode. You’re welcome.

I mean, insert something deep and insightful here about trust. But also about how this season is going hard with emphasizing how deeply in tune with each other they are, how they are effectively a couple, minus those little rough details they have to polish still. Season 1 did set it up, but now it’s the whole entire fucking plot. Love that for us.

There’s not much to say about the Nazi zombie plot, which summed with the previous Scotland episode is so very British. I was just thinking about how very much not American the previous episode felt, not just because of all the Scottish accent, but for the very unsubtle thing about poverty and morality. And now the other side of the Unescapable Stuff In British Media, i.e. making fun of Nazis in the setting of London during the WW2 bombings.

Under different circumstances I’d say that it’s kinda a low hanging fruit, and that honestly British depictions of 1940s Nazism have gotten stale, but this show has earned its seasonal WW2 moment due to situation of, you know, pale-coconut-collision setting-up.

(I’m taking for granted that the coconuts are going to collide. Don’t say anything.)

My favorite part of the episode is how Crowley has never fired a gun while Aziraphale has an actual license.

I think I can’t quite concentrate in this post because my family are watching an Italian comedy at a high volume in the adjacent room. I think there might be something to analyze in the scenes in the magician’s shop and in the theater, possibly related to the imagery of the “ladies of Camelot”, but I’m not British enough for that (or, well, at all).

Anyway, remember what I wrote about this episode being about the very blurred line between Crowley’s circumstances and Aziraphale’s - what causes one to be a demon and the other to stay an angel - and, well, this episode just explicits the theme, by having the two of them literally calling their respective colors as shades of dark gray and of light gray. There’s no black and white, so where do you draw the line? What is the discriminating factor?

But Marghe, you’ll say, it is literally said that Crowley participated in a battle, the demon guy says it so, he says he was fighting alongside Crowley, which means that at some point Crowley made a deliberate choice to antagonize-- yeah yeah I heard that. Mmm.

To conclude, I can’t wait to see Lord Beelzebub on earth. Or seeing more of them, in general.

Also, the transition from Shax and Beelzebub in hell talking about legions of demons attacking the bookstore, and the gentleness of the scene of Aziraphale and Nina getting to their respective business, was perfect.

Also, someone give Nina a hug.

[theharpermovieblog]

#HARPERSMOVIECOLLECTION

2023

I watched Blood For Dracula (1974)

I have somewhat seen this before on late night tv, along with it's counterpart Flesh For Frankenstein.

A sickly Dracula travels to Italy to find a virgin to cure him.

If I was to ask, "Hey, do you wanna see a very bloody, soft-core-esque Dracula movie starring Udo Keir and presented by Andy Warhol?" You'd either say, "What? No." Or "Absolutely, give me that now, push it into my face if you have to." There would be no in-between.

Well, before you answered you might ask, "What does PRESENTED BY Andy Warhol mean?" And I would tell you that he had nothing to do with this movie, other than knowing the guy who made it.

Director Paul Morrissey, has made some other movies, which I have not seen. They all seem like slightly queer trash art. A genre I'm absolutely here for in theory.

I'll start with some of the technical stuff, then move on to the movie as a whole.

Morrissey is very competent behind the camera. He understands shot construction and I rather like his visual choices.

The dialogue is often clunky and I'd argue that the script isn't well written or very engaging. And, the fact that a lot of the actors clearly speak English as a second language isn't helping that clunky dialogue.

I should also mention that this is supposedly a horror/comedy, but its less funny and more "funny" in the way which artists think they're being "funny".

Udo Keir is very good here as a rather vain Dracula. He's stage acting and it fits his character. The other acting and actors throughout are hit or miss, but some people definitely shine and would shine more if they had interesting things to say. Arno Jeurging is definitely having fun in his role. Joe Dallesandro's New York accent is almost shocking amongst the Italian, German and British accents that surround it. His acting isn't good, but he's good for a few chuckles.

Overall this film, technically speaking, is ok for shitty gothic horror of the era and a film that has a look that I adore. Dreamy, with a hint of British soap opera and a handful of italian horror. The locations are gorgeous , as are the people and the costumes.

So, how's the movie as a whole.

Well, it's not a high art piece by any means. Outside of attempting to have more tits and ass and excessive blood, nothing really separates this from other horror of the era, and a lot of directors were doing this much better back then. It's stilted and none of the story or action has any weight to it. There's no real scares or laughs either. A few moments of being able to laugh at it, but not with it. Also, the hero assaults a couple women, rapes a 14 year old, and is just kind of a dick. Not really a guy you want to root for.

But, despite the movie not being all that great, there are some moments I enjoyed. I laughed through most of Dracula's Seizures and a few strangely delivered lines. (Not sure if I was supposed to, but I did.) I loved looking at the pretty people being pretty and wearing pretty things, or being pretty and naked. I loved the look of it all, honestly. I loved the end where Dracula is being hacked up. I loved how self indulgent it felt and how absolutely trashy it really is. I loved that it tries to toss in some form of a classism discussion and doesn't really follow through on. Is Count Dracula's illness supposed to be a metaphor for the dying upper class? If so, it's a pretty weak one, and just an attempt at trying to make this seem more high minded than it is.

Basically, I admired the terribleness surrounded by pretty things.

This movie is trash with a little bit of fun to it. There's enough here to it to watch it once, just to see it.

[mayasdeluca]

Acting Coach Anon(let’s just say: ACA, I’m tired of writing it all the time😂) I read the post non-high and it actually make sense lol.

I’m 99% sure Stefania got a dialect coach and probably also got an accent reduction tutor, because I, and apparently many others, can detect the differences in her speech, accent, composure and cadence, it’s way more smooth and harmonic than before, and the “forced comedy Italian accent factor” has been removed, at least in part, praise the Lord.🙌🏼

Thank you to whoever took this decision (prob Stef, writers wouldn’t care)

Kudos to her cause it’s no easy especially for foreign actors with a non English language as primary one to improve so much so quickly (I guess for Australians/Americans/English speakers must be a bit easier to jump from dialects and accents) and this to me show how good she is and how great she can become.

It’s pretty normal for actors to always have one, (as an actor you are always learning and improving and each role requires a different skill set) quick example, Margot Robbie had to learn the Brooklyn accent, if I’m not mistaken, for The Wolf of Wall Street, so you see it’s pretty common, I’m just happy Stefania is one of those actor that is always working on herself to improve, Grey should do it too (and many other tbh).

Btw I so want the spin-off one of your anon wrote to you: Fosters-GG-Northern Exposure Mix-up, that sound legit, cheesy-corny-gay but legit!

I’ll watch it, just let Maya realize isn’t the job or the place that can make her feel accomplished but the person she shares it with and the good she can do, and off they go at the end of the season!

Good day to you!

Hahah that's fine with me! ACA it is! Your post did make sense so it was very impressive that you did it all while high!

I would think so too because you can definitely tell a distinct difference and kudos to her because yes, I'm sure it can't be easy but the hard work is definitely paying off. And the whole Italian stereotype they were doing was just getting irritating so I really hope they're done with that. It's bad enough they're still having Carina be all hormonal and more "mean" because of the baby stuff but I'm hoping that will go away soon too. It is great that she seems to be still working with someone and you're right, I think a lot of actors could benefit from it...someone should politely hint at it to Grey especially.

I know! That spin-off sounded amazing...if only we could get something like that. Or really anything that would take them off this and into the hands of better writers. It would be a dream.

Have a lovely weekend ACA!

[rainy-weather-supremacy]

*I punch a hole into the wall, directly next to your head* OIIIIIII MEU AMIGOOO

What languages do your characters speak? Also, do they speak a second language?

Would the Kilmoore brothers still defeat them? Because I thought it was hilarious that ppl with eldritch powers are defeated by normal street gang. I think it’d be funny

What kind of horror is their story, exactly? Or none at all? Or horror and something else?

What would happen at a family gathering?

Why does Mary have a power? Who or what took interest in her?

You have to go somewhere. You have to trust one of your characters to take care of the cute little kitten you can’t take with you. Why?

Who is the most anxious?

How long until they’d go insane from hearing Tainted Love on repeat? (This is not a combat question. It absolutely isn’t you know-)

Who is most likely to acquire a highly cursed object without realizing it?

*I try to pull my hand out of the hole, but do not succeed in doing so, resulting in awkward silence*

*Shuffles my feet a bit before breaking the silence with a cough*

Um. A-Anyways.

Ough. You have found my secret weakness. They all speak english, I guess. Avery was also probably made to learn latin as a child and Granny speaks a language that no one even knows existed anymore. Mary and Daniel speak a bit of italian for a reason I... haven't invented yet. Leon speaks german and uses it to swear when adults are around. Tara and Mikaela probably also speak another language but I couldn't tell you which one. Camilla doesn't speak another language, I think, but she has the worst british accent in the world for no reason (except that I think it's funny).

Hold on, I'm gonna make a graph for this.

Special circumstances: Daniel could win inside and on dirt, Leon they could only touch if they were about to die (or if they used someone about to die as a cub?), Camilla they could defeat with gasoline. Actually Jamie should be there too, depending on how dark it is.

3. Honestly, it's probably some kind of romance/drama/comedy and the horror part is just there for fun.

4. If you're lucky, everyone bitches at each other for a bit and leaves again in the evening. On the other hand, there might be fights or full-on murder attempts which Jackson always has to be quick to diffuse before it gets completely out of control. No one has died, tough. ...not yet.

5. Well, where they're "originally" from, it's a power called the Vast. I mentioned it recently, it's the fear of storms, giant open spaces, heights, being insignificant, thalantassaphobia, stuff like that. I'm not sure how she got it's attention, probably because she has that mindset of "nothing really matters (anyone can see) so you might as well do what you like" that it's all about. I'd imagine it has to do with walking in a storm.

6. Jamie. He could shapeshift into a big cat and take care of them and he actually would. Plus he can share them with Daniel, who could absolutely use some kittens but could not take care of them. I might suddenly have one more when I get back, tough, so I would have to find out which is her.

7. Arthur

8. I can't believe you are making me listen to music. From the experiment I have conducted, 15-30.

9. Avery. She grew up in the kind of house where everything is really fancy and uninviting so another object that's cold and looks old wouldn't strike it as very odd.

*I try to pull you out of the hole but it doesn't work so I paint you white*

At least you fit in with the wall now...?

[redrosecut]

I like Inventing Anna but the German could have been better researched.

While we eat Strudel too, first the pronounciation is different and second it is also a more Austrian than German dish. Something Anna would know.

Hennecke is pronounced in an American way by Anna. The E at the end of words is more pronounced like the last a in the word America.

Hennecke's German voicemail message refers to itself as voicemail. The word used in Germany is mailbox. No one uses the word voicemail.

The policemen actually seems to be a German actor (not a good one, but native). However, his actions seem more American than German. Not sure about his uniform. Could be correct with the green since there was quite a long transition period to blue everywhere.

The train is pretty authentic in its look but the conductors never call out stations. It is written on the train display or if called for, announced via speaker.

Unfortunately, the sentiment concerning Turkish and Russian immigrants is true, sometimes even mixed in with Italians.

The teacher is actually a German actress that does a lot of comedy and parody stuff. I can’t really take her serious.

Young Anna’s German is accent free. Have to look up the actress. Btw why does the other student reply to her German with English. Doesn’t really make sense.

Let's see what else there is to come.

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Anonymous asked: I really enjoy your cultured posts and especially about wine. I never knew that Roger Scruton wrote about wine! You tantalisingly talked in bits and pieces in past posts about your chateau vineyard in France. I understand why you protect your privacy but can you say a bit more. I was also hoping as a wine connoisseur you can explain to me what wine sommeliers in restaurants mean about wine having ‘terroir’? Are they just making stuff up to look down on us poor saps or is there something to it?

Your experience with the sommelier reminded me of the classic British television comedy, ‘Fawlty Towers’, where John Cleese’s perpetually hard pressed hotel owner, Basil Fawlty, says with his usual sarcasm, “I can certainly see that you know your wine. Most of the guests who stay here wouldn’t know the difference between Bordeaux and Claret.”

I’m sorry that you had from what I can surmise bad experiences with sniffy sommeliers when it came to appreciating wine. I have had one or two depressing experiences myself but it’s important to call out such rudeness so that others don’t have their dining experience spoiled. In Paris at least I can honestly say the spectre of the rude sommelier is dying out - and I have eaten in many great restaurants where I’ve had very lovely experience chatting with sommeliers versed in their wines.

These days sommeliers are positively jumping for joy if you show any kind of wine literacy. Don’t forget these men (and women) have worked extremely hard to hone a refined sense of their craft and they just want to share that knowledge and wisdom with you - otherwise it goes to waste.

Everyone likes to be appreciated and so I go out of my way to listen and appreciate their recommendations based on what I like or if I am looking to pair something interesting with the food I have ordered. If I don’t know I just ask. Indeed often I do know but I still ask because I’m curious to know if there is a better choice of wine and also because I want to learn. There is no shame in asking.  Remember they are there to guide you to have the best dining experience in their restaurant. So engage with them with kind civility and your palate will thank you. And tip generously (if applicable).

I do indeed have a chateau vineyard in southern France - south of Paris anyway. But it’s not just mine. I invested in a dream that belonged to my two cousins who are the real wine connoisseurs. Out of their request for discretion I don’t talk too much about it here on this blog (they follow my blog). I can say that I admire both my cousins hugely (I get brownie points for saying that) for their hard work, risk taking, passion, and their artisanal flair.

Both my cousins gave up lucrative corporate careers to follow their dream to owning and managing a small vineyard. In this case it was bought from the family of my cousin’s French wife; her very old traditional family had the vineyard for generations. They had fought off French revolutionaries who wanted to burn down their chateau because of their old roots but they managed to prevail and survive. They barely survived the Great French Wine Blight (the Phylloxera infestations) that was a severe blight of the mid-19th century that decimated many of the vineyards across France.  But times change. It’s not a romantic business but an unforgiving one. So rather than sell up to rapacious Chinese investors and other outsiders they instead sold it to us.

I have my day job and that keeps me extremely busy. My two cousins (and their French wives) manage the whole vineyard with other hired staff. They make all the decisions and I do the drinking (for quality control purposes, naturally). I help out when I can. This could be from business marketing advice or attending a few wine merchant trade shows. I often go to Shanghai and Hong Kong for my corporate work and my Chinese is passable; and so I help out my cousins who might be out there when I am there too. In fact one of my cousins was out in Shanghai just before the Wuham Covid 19 outbreak in China; thankfully he got out fine and didn’t suffer any symptoms after his trip.

More fun for me is actually spending time on the vineyard. Call me weird but I really do look forward to rolling up my sleeves and getting down in the dirt. It’s incredibly back breaking work - pruning or harvesting - but very rewarding because we’re all in it together. The camaraderie is immense.

I love escaping into the countryside and I just enjoy the easy bonhomie and companionship of my cousins and their French partners for whom wine is a passion and a way of life. Besides learning a lot more about wine, I also get to run, cycle, and hike in the surrounding hills, a world away from crazy city life.

Like many vineyards in France (and indeed vineyards around the world) the Coronavirus has made it an even more challenging environment to produce and sell wine. We did a lot of business in China and now, like many others, we’ve taken a hit. But we’re not down for the count. We’re fortunate that we are more robust with what we have in place. But like everyone else uncertainty of the future with an expected recession means we need to dig in deep and weather the oncoming storms. But we’ll be fine.

So what is this odd French word, ‘terroir’?

The French have this expression they use when it is clear they are tasting a true terroir wine - "un goût de terroir" - a taste of the place.

Terroir is a largely misused term, though the general understanding of the term of terroir is correct that it refers to the place of where the wine is made. Terroir is not something you pick up after tasting a few wines from one vineyard. It's more complicated than that, which of course makes it harder to use. Which is no fun, because people really like saying fancy French words when talking about wine.

A classical definition of terroir would be something along the lines of this: terroir is the aggregate factors that affect the physical vineyard site: geography, geology, weather, and any other relatively unique environmental conditions that might affect the process or final quality of the fruit.

Put simply terroir is the combination of micro-climate, soil, sun exposure, weather conditions and other environmental influences on wine. To Europeans in general and to the French and Italians in particular, terroir is a key indicator of quality in wine.

The best way to understand what what terroir means is to think of terroir as a different accent - an English accent sounds different from a Scottish accent which sounds different from a Welsh accent. Although the English language is the same, these accents have their own sense of place. Once you are fluent in the language of wine these different accents start to become a lot more pronounced. These ‘wine accents’ echo the terroir where the grapes were grown and the wines were made.

So what does this mean in practice? Take the Pinot Noir grape. Pinot Noir is a notoriously difficult grape to grow because it is very fussy with climate. With the grape being so fussy it is remarkable that the grape can be grown in many parts of the world. Its home is in Bourgogne (Burgundy), France, and yet the grape is grown successfully in Germany (where it's called Spatburgunder), Italy, United States, New Zealand and Australia, among others. So while Pinot Noir is a very fussy grape, it can grow in different climates. It's just the the way it expresses itself can be vastly different. This starts with fruit, whereby it will express a wide range from red fruits like cranberry (cooler climates) right through to black fruits like plum (warmer climates).

The key is the soil - and the sweat and blood that goes into cultivating it.  

Soils contain a huge array of types of rock, decomposed rock, and organic materials, in a seemingly infinite array of mixes of topsoil, subsoil, and bedrock. Grape vines tend to grow vigorously and this causes a tendency toward better wines emerging from counterintuitive places - places with relatively poor soils. Too many nutrients and too much water near the surface and the vines will not push down deeply into the ground, seeking out what it needs to live. The belief is, if it does so it will find a more complex variety of nutrients that lead to better, more nuanced wines.

Soil, however, is not the only facet that gives us a full sense of what terroir means.

It is not enough to have a great mix of soils. Vines grown for grapes have a range on Earth in which they will ripen. Champagne, for example, is near the northern ripening limit for growing grapes — around the 49th parallel. They usually do not achieve anywhere near full ripeness nor do they want it - they need lots of acidity - so a northern location works well for their purposes. Too far south, however, and relentless sun and warmth will yield over ripened, jammy, sometimes stewed tasting fruit, lacking acidity and possessing searing levels of alcohol, at times. So the parallel on which the vines are planted is important.

Next, prevailing weather patterns in the region, such as adequate, but not typically heavy rain is necessary. The further north the vineyard site, the more that frosts and hail will likely be factors in varietal planting decisions, as well as harvesting. Achieving full ripeness before vinification is generally the goal for winemakers, but in certain climates the likelihood of sudden rain and weather changes which would dilute or damage the fruit, all go into the perception of the terroir.

Where the vines are planted, even within a commune in Burgundy, can prove very important for several of the reasons listed above: a southeast facing slope in the Côtes de Nuits, for example, provides a poor soil (meaning a good soil for wine grapes,) making the roots grow down deep into limestone, searching for nutrients. The top of the slope to the vineyard's back creates a microclimate and gives a small rain shadow effect, potentially dropping a major portion of rain on the western slope away from the quickly-harvesting vignerons on the other side, before their crop becomes diluted or destroyed. Not to say it always works out this way, because it does not. The point here is that the position within the mesoclimate and even microclimate is important.

Further, the angle or aspect toward the sun in our example is tremendously important. In our example, facing southeast gives the grapes a higher average number of hours per day to ripen in the sun, without getting the stronger, sometimes-harsher evening sun directly. When there is rain, rot can be a problem which leads to yet another factor - slope. A well-drained soil is very important, and altitude is a factor, which will lead to variation throughout a vineyard on such a slope.

Finally, a very important factor in terroir that is not always mentioned is the hand of man.

In the local customs for wine growing, winemaking, cuisine around those wines, and traditions sometimes dating back thousands of years, there emerges a tendency to understand what works well in the local soil and climate. Based on those ideas, certain decisions are made in the cellars that nudge the wine in the direction of one style or another. Decisions can be made that completely mask - destroy - the sense of terroir. Yet decisions are made, nonetheless. They do influence the final product.

Two producers owning parts of the same few hectares of land produce products of two wildly different qualities. There are decisions to be made of using wild yeasts or cultivated yeasts, steel tanks or oak barrels, the type(s) of oak, where it is from, the amount of toasting.

A poor vineyard manager can plant vines in impeccable terroir, but fail miserably in their ability to farm the grapes appropriately, even assuming they planted the right grapes for that terroir. Equally, you can give an inexperienced winemaker the best grapes from the best terroir and he is still very likely to make a mediocre wine at best.

Now, this isn't to say that a great winemaker can take substandard grapes from a poor region and turn them into great wine. But it takes a knowledgable and experienced winemaker to make the best of the spectacular grapes that world-class terroir and impeccable farming technique provides.

So all in all, I would say that terroir, vineyard manager and winemaker are equally as important and there can be no weak links in that equation if quality wine is to be produced.

The point is that all of these factors affect the wine. The best winemakers are artisans who work hard to let the land and vines speak. Over time, some places on Earth have been identified as having very high potential to produce outstanding, unique wines that sing with a voice like no other. That is terroir.

Music is like wine. We appreciate different composers and their pieces more as we understand more of the context of each piece.

Most wine drinkers, no matter their level of knowledge and sophistication, are on a similar path of evolving understanding. Each mouthful whose flavours and aromas we drink, each bottle label we unconsciously imprint in our memory, each line-item on a wine list that we select for the evening’s meal is another volume in our own library of experience, and determines how we will experience the next. The more wine we drink and the more we learn, the better context we have to evaluate (or enjoy) every future glass. So wine drinking is not a race nor is there a prize. You go at your own pace. It’s your own journey of self-discovery. Ignore the pretentious twattery that so often hinders the enjoyment of good wine. 

May I add wine enjoys companionship. It makes love to fine food and good conversation. Yes, wine can be drunk on its own but it is more than just a balm to the soul. It is best appreciated when shared or paired - as one might with a cigar and a whisky - with good food. In the words of the late Paul Bocuse, who was a celebrated Michelin starred chef and father of French Haute Cuisine, “La véritable cuisine sera toujours celle du terroir. En France le beurre, la crème et le vin en constitueront toujours les bases.”

Thanks for your question

[smbinfostation]

Super Mario Bros. Ice Capades - 1989

To commemorate the SMBIS’s 20th anniversary, here’s the infamous Mario Ice Capades video in high quality. Enjoy!

Original commentary from October 17, 2003

On Thursday, December 7, 1989, ABC presented an Ice Capades special on TV, hosted by Alyssa Milano (of Who's The Boss fame) and Jason Bateman (Silver Spoons; Valerie, Arrested Development). The show had many famous and talented figure skaters, music numbers and comedy acts, including segments featuring Barbie and the Super Mario Bros. This happens to be the 50th Anniversary of the Ice Capades that they taped, as the programs that the hosts and the audience had, with the Mario Bros and Barbie on the back. (The 50th Anniversary Ice Capades Barbie was released at this time also.) When the segment begins, the hosts are backstage when they spot some random people playing Super Mario Bros. Alyssa mentions that she's never played videogames before (*gasp*) and Jason brags to her that he is a master of Nintendo, proclaiming himself to be the "Video Prince." Then he tells her about the plot of Super Mario Bros. [It's interesting to mention that Jason refers to King Koopa as Bowser, because the entire show after this just calls him King Koopa.]

As they talk, they are interrupted when the monitor starts flickering and doing crazy stuff. Jason, who apparently know everything about Nintendo, states that it's a computer virus, which will, and I quote, "release all the evil forces stored up in the computer." @_@ Um...OK, "Mr. Video Prince", whatever you say. Then, who pops up? Yes, it's good ol' King Koopa (NOT Bowser!), played by the late 80's sitcom star Christopher Hewett, a.k.a. Mr. Belvedere. Koopa has released the virus and threatens to take over the world. His plan is very laughable at best, as it implies that a NES can be used to infect computers with deadly viruses, which probably can't happen. That, and he says he doesn't really want the world, but does it anyway because he loves causing trouble. It's nice to have hobbies, I guess.

The Mario set is decent enough. It looks like a 3-D version of the 8-bit SMB1, with pixelated clouds and trees in the background and a castle in the middle. However, it looks way better than what Mr. Hewett had to wear. His costume is very tacky and ugly. He doesn't even have anything over his face, just horribly applied green face paint around his moustache. His horns looked like dangly jesters' bells and he's wearing horrible plaid pants and a geeky red bow tie. On top of that, he's riding on a moving castle. You know the forts at the end of each level of SMB1? Yep, he's roving about on the ice on a castle. o.O

Koopa calls out his minions to destroy different computer parts that NES's don't have, including 2 Green Koopa Troopas, 2 miscolored white Goombas, 1 Hammer Bro (two Troopas and only ONE Hammer Brother?), a Red Paratroopa and a Spiny. The baddies' costumes were based on their official Nintendo designs, though they looked very non-threatening and somewhat cuddly-looking. The Goombas and the Spiny, about a meter or so tall, do seem to be radio-controlled, or have skaters crouched or something inside them. After this, Koopa pompously sings about how evil he is, with his baddies dancing around him...wearing plaid pants...on a moving castle...oooookaaay. Mr. Hewett had a very cultured, polite-sounding British accent, not like Cartoon Koopa's voice at all. He sang pretty well, but the lyrics were shallow and kinda childish. The song is short, thankfully, and only proves that Koopa can create plans for world domination much better than he can sing silly egotistical songs. After this, we see the Princess Toadstool (can't call her Peach yet, as this is still 1989, or all time and space will unravel around us and disappear), who has a huge, horrid mascot-like head and a cliché Mae West-ish Hollywood voice, off to the side with her subjects of plumber pawns with her. Another note is that the Princess's costume is based on the official Nintendo design; she has blond hair, instead of red/brown from the cartoons.  Princess Pea....Toadstool, helpless to stop Koopa, then summons the Mario Bros., who for some reason arrived from the sky with the help of their trusty support wires. @_@ [Here's something I just noticed: In the scene when the Princess talks to her people before she calls the Bros. from the heavens, you can see the Marios behind her, with their backs turned to the audience. Sloppy editing.] After being briefed on the situation by Princess, Mario and Luigi, with their very stereotypical Italian accents and oversized, misshapened mascot heads, protect the Maiden in Distress from the horrible men in Koopa Troopa suits. The Princess helps out by sending out carts containing kids from the audience to assist the Bros. Koopa then scoffs at the Marios for sending children to do a man's job. So, one by one, Koopa sends out his legions of dumpy villains to defeat the Bros. However, Luigi dons his airgun/cardboard box out of nowhere and mercilessly kills each bad guy with sparkler blasts that are later added in. The effect of the baddies dying is just crude and leaves one to think how it'll work without the superimposed TV special effects of them just fading away and disappearing to low-budget heaven. Koopa, realizing that his army of extras is failing him, decides to attack the Bros. himself on his mobile fortress with his Spiny. The Marios and the children in the carts surround Koopa, totally ignoring Spiny altogether from the onslaught of death and sparkly insanity. After Mario spouts a remarkably bland joke/pun, the children vanquish the Koopa King with their big foam wrenches and dirty plungers in a blast of sparklers. Cheesey fanfare music plays afterwards, proclaiming the death of the Koopa King, as the children are returned back to the audience, without getting any complementary gift for being a part in the show.

In the end, the Princess, who now just looks like a giant, mutated blow-up doll, congratulates the Marios by giving them the "Purple Plunger for Bravery" or "The Incredibly Cheap Cardboard Hero Prize.". Then, the Bros. have a disgraceful squabble about bragging rights. Note that in all this, Mario does absolutely NOTHING to help out. Luigi killed all the minor foes and commanded the children to kill Koopa. Lazy, lazy Mario... Backstage, the monitor that the hosts were watching all this goes back to normal, then for no reason, Alyssa announces that she wins the game by default, although she doesn't even play it at all, leaving "Jason the Video Prince" in a stupor.

----

More research led me to a site belonging to a Mr. Michael Baroto, a costume designer who made these all the characters for the show, including the baddies, the Bros. and Peach. Apparently, he had only 3 months to make three sets of ten costumes, as well as two other costumes for another show. Seeing that he had to make 30 costumes in the short a time span, this would explain why the Marios and Peach looked so rushed. They don't do his talents justice, however, as his other works, including puppets, dolls and marionettes, are very creative and well-made. There are production photos of the Mario costumes in the previous link. If you ever get to read this, Mr. Baroto, please don't take my negative comments personally. ^^;;;;;;

Here's something I just noticed after watching this over again. Apparently, they deviated from what they'd usually do at a live show and made it extra special for the TV show by adding those "special" effects and camera angles. Also, they taped this when the audience wasn't present, as the seating couldn't been seen at all. They do show some stock footage of people watching all this and laughing at the bad puns, and of the kids getting out of the carts when the show was over, never getting compensated with gifts and whatnot for killing off the "mighty" King Koopa.

However, doing this just made the show worse, as there were obvious editing mistakes. For example, you can see enemies that were killed off later hanging about off to the side when the children return to the audience. In another instance, right at the end, you can see a lone boy sitting on the ice in the background playing with a wrench behind Princess Toadstool before she hands out the awards. Then he disappears in the next shot. And let's not forget the earlier example of the Marios already on stage before they arrive from the sky.  Very very sloppy, even for late 80's television. Of course, this was a time when little kids wouldn't care less if the show was crappy or not. It had Mario, and that's all that mattered.

[hellolittleogre]

Idiots in Love, chapter 2

Technically, first part of the second chapter because its loooong. This chapter features Goodnight matchmaking, references to the film Delicatessen, a cameo from Horne and the reappearance of Sam!

If Billy had a time machine he would go back in time and kick himself in the head for saying he had a crush on Vasquez. Then he would go back even further in time to kick himself in the head for not having a crush on Vasquez, because really, Vas is a dreamboat.

But this is besides the point. The point is that Billy is unfortunately stuck with his crush on Goodnight, and Goodnight seems to have lost his everloving mind since Billy told him about his crush.

(On Vasquez. Which he didn’t have.)

And now Goodnight is matchmaking with the maniacal zeal of a violin player at a third rate Italian restaurant working late on Valentines day. 

He’s not even trying to be subtle about it, throwing them together every chance he gets. Elbows his way to sit down next to Vas and then as soon as he sees Billy hollers “I saved you a seat!” and disappears like a red streak, leaving Billy to sit awkwardly sandwiched between Vasquez and whatever girl he’s hitting on at the moment.Goodnight will make study dates and then clumsily offer a transparent excuse when only the two of them show up and pretend that he has to study in a different section of the library. He lures Billy down to the coffee shop and just “stumble” on Vasquez, before he remembers he had urgent business on the other side of campus. Goody borrows books of Vasquez and then asks Billy to return them. As the final straw, he mentioned to Billy that he had cinema tickets for the student cinema club and on the evening tragically something came up very suddenly and he couldn’t go but oh, hey I gave the other ticket to Vasquez, so I guess have a nice evening?

Billy spends an excruciating two hours watching a French romantic comedy about cannibalism and playing the cello in a dystopian future. He might love Goody but he’ll never get his taste in movies.

“Why do I get the feeling we’re dating?” Vas ask him on the way home and Billy pinches the bridge of his nose to stave off a headache. 

“I might have fucked up,” he concedes and Vas nodded in response.

“I figured it might have been something like that.” he says sagely. “Do you think you could unfuck it please? It’s just that at some point I’d like to get laid and you know, I’m not exactly feeling the chemistry here.”

(“Excuse you, we have plenty of chemistry!” Billy says, stung. Vasquez looks down at him, and then slowly raises his eyebrows.

“Do you want to date me?” he asks, supremely unimpressed and Billy takes him in, the curly brown hair, the dimples, the smile, and the accent and really Billy might have been kicked in the head once too many because he doesn’t. He want some scrawny fuck with dishwater hair who thinks two hours of dystopian French cannibalism is a good time.)

Billy puts in a considerable amount of time over the next couple of weeks thinking about how to clear up this stupid mess, before Goody strains something. Maybe he can have a pretend heart to heart with Goodnight, and he is still carefully staging this scenario in his head and deciding on the exact phrasing when one Friday he opens the door to their dorm only to find  Goody and Sam in bed. 

OK so he doesn’t really get an eyeful of anything, thank God, clothes are still on and hands are not in any too bad places but it still feels too private, too intimate. Sam’s sitting on the bed, leaning up against the wall with his arm around Goodnight, who’s practically curled in his lap, head resting against his shoulder. They both startle when Billy opens the door, Goodnight getting up quickly turning away to face the windows. He’s not sure but it looks like Goody is wiping his hands across his face repeatedly.

“Just uh, put a sock on the door or something,” he mutters, and turns right back around to sit in the library and stare at cat videos for an hour and trying not to grind his teeth. 

There is nothing to be upset about. He had known about Sam and Goodnight but he'd also forgotten.

 It’s easy to forget with Goody's sly smile and gratifying attention. Sam sort of became theoretical knowledge the moment Goody slipped his hand into his, their socked feet resting on each other. Billy realized to his horror that even in spite of knowing about Sam, he'd still stupidly started believing that Goodnight might be into him, that if Billy ever managed to get his words in order and clear up that idiotic misunderstanding about Vasquez and ask Goody out he might say yes. He is going to hit something so hard the next time he’s at the gym for being so fucking stupid. 

Several cat videos later and in a foul mood he trudged back to the dorm, knocking before he opened the door. 

“C’mon in,” Goody hollered and Billy cautiously stuck his head in. Goody is still on the bed, this time lying flat with his hands neatly crossed on his chest, Sam’s bag is on the floor, half unpacked and  the shower is running in the bathroom. 

“Sorry about that,” Goody says apologetically, raising his head from the pillow, his eyes suspiciously red and his face blotchy. 

“Are you okay?” Billy asks, temporarily forgetting to be mad, seeing Goody all laid out flat. 

“Yeah, sure I'm fine,” Goody says rubbing his face, and scrubbing a hand through his hair. “I just…” he sighs.” You know how Sam can be, he’ll just give it to you straight. It can get a bit overwhelming, you know?”

Billy opened his mouth and closed it again. The words echoing through his mind, jealousy and want exploding like twin solar flares in his chest. How could he ever have been so stupid to think he had a chance here?

“Yeah well maybe you can learn to keep it between you and Sam? he heard himself say, frustration making his words short. Goody cut his eyes to him for a second and then looked away, hands starting to pluck for a cigarette

“Yeah, uh sure, of course,” he says, and fiddled with the carton, flipping the lid open and closed. 

“So next time Sam decides to “ just give it to you” maybe you could give me a heads up or something?” The black tar-like jealousy made his tone harsh and Goody twitched a little but nodded guiltily. 

Billy felt like an elephant, every movement unnaturally loud, closing cupboards and putting away his stuff unnecessary force until Sam comes out of the shower, thankfully blessedly clothed, even if his feet are bare. 

“Are you ready?” he asks Goody. 

“Yeah, in a minute,” Goodnight answers,holding up his cigarette, waving towards the window. He kept glancing between Sam and Billy, reminiscent of a dog which could sense it was in trouble, without any idea of what it had done wrong. Its odd that he is the one discomfited because now that he thinks about it Sam is definitely being somewhat short towards Billy, and he has no idea what that is about at all.

While Goody smoked Sam rifled through his clothes and Billy watches him from his bed with jealousy so sharp in his chest if felt like acid reflux. 

It wasn't, he realized not actually jealousy. It’s something else, something more…complicated.

 If Sam made Goody happy then Billy was all for it. He recognized that if kissing Sam was what Goody wanted, he should have it. If Sam was good to him and made him feel good, making Goody's back arch, throwing his head back and gasping, choking out air and praise, toes curling hands opening and closing like cats carding, then Billy wanted that for him. He was envious of Sam. He wanted it too, not instead. It was a curious little realization, and didn’t actually help with his foul mood, or the way his jaw couldn’t seem to unclench, or how he wanted to snarl at them both like a hurt animal. The memory of Goody shyly and carefully reaching out to hold his hand kept intruding, that little voice kept pointing out that Goody was the one to call him, to come running with him, who kept instigating touching like he couldn't help himself. 

“Here, there you go.” Sam says, emerging from one of the drawers and throwing a t-shirt at Goody. “Put that on.”

“Ah no, Sam, really?” Good eyed the item dispiritedly and Sam nods. 

“Oh yes.”

And Goody sighs and peel out of his t-shirt and puts on the one Sam had thrown at him. Billy could see why he doesn't wear it that often, it's too small and the color is a faded washed-out blue but, oh. Oh, it brought out the light blue of Goody's eyes and fitted tight around his sinewy arms and narrow hips,it even made his shoulders look a little broader. He looked delectable. He looked like a twink. 

Billy immediately became very occupied with his phone because he if he stared at Goody for much longer he'd actually start drooling

“Uh, so we’re heading out,” Goody says and Billy is so used to him extending a friendly invitation to come along that it actually surprised him when it didn't come. Sam and Goody were going out alone. And Goody looks good enough to eat. 

Goody kept glancing between him and Sam awkwardly, clearly noticing the lack of invitation himself, not knowing how to smooth out the situation. 

After they had clattered through the door Billy felt jittery and shaky, anxiety prickling up and down his spine and in an effort to quell it he went for a short run. He sped past the campus, focused on making himself run as fast as he could, feet flying almost like an explosion every time he hit the ground. It felt for a moment like he could outrun his problems, the perpetual feeling of strangeness, this unexpected snag in the road that just added more fucking otherness to him.

Coming back he took advantage of the empty dorm room to pleasure himself in the shower, hard and fast, almost viciously thinking of nothing, his mind aggressively blank and stood under shower spray subdued and panting afterwards, watching the water and milky residue swirl around his feet. 

In spite of the run and the post-orgasm lassitude he still felt antsy, the room too empty and the vivid idea of Sam and Goodnight making busy felt haunting. He could go to the library but he felt too restless to study and it was a Saturday night anyway. Under normal circumstances he and Goody would be out playing pool and drinking dark beer, or there would be food and movies in the house Emma, Josh and Vasquez shared. For all that Billy felt lonely he hadn't been alone in a long time. 

The silence in the room seemed to swell and grow and suddenly it’s making  Billy annoyed. It’s Saturday night, why should he sit and stare at the wall? 

It wasn't until he came down to the student bar and saw the gigantic rainbow banner that he hesitated. He remembered Goodnight saying something about how the Gay-Straight alliance arranged bi-monthly student pubs but he hadn't realized it would be one on tonight. Billy hadn't been to the GSA yet, he’d walked past the door a couple of times and once even turned the handle but he'd never managed to go. Goody went every now and then and came back with leaflets and invitations for Billy to come to board game night or sex workshops (called “fuckshops” and just the leaflet made Billy blush and spend half an hour in the bathroom imagining going to one of them with Goody, and being paired up by an enthusiastic workshop teacher and just one thing leading to another…) He always declined. Just because he was gay didn’t mean he’d have to do any of that.

When Billy was fourteen he’d been cornered in the changing room after PE by one of the guys on the football team, who had for one moment touched his chin with a hand both rough and soft and said “If you’d do it for me I’d do it for you?” with a crude and unmistakable gesture and Billy had nailed his eyes to the floor and sidled away like a crab, holding on the strap of his backpack as if it were a life line. His legs felt like water, trying to walk down the corridor and look normal. How could he know? How could he know? Could anyone know just by looking at him? A week later he’d been standing in line at the cafeteria when a hard shove from behind made him fall over and he had scrambled to his feel to see the back of the same guy walking away, the message silent but unmistakable. 

 And now the otherwise normal student pub seemed surrounded by a force field, an invisible barrier that once Billy crossed would proclaim him GAY to everyone in there, not just something that was between him and Goodnight but something Billy was on his own, independently. Something Billy would still be once he’d gotten over this particular crush. 

But then again there is nothing for it. Billy knows, intellectually, that he won’t be in love with Goodnight for the rest of his life, that he’ll have partners and hook ups and boyfriends and if he’s going to be gay he has to get himself out there and actually start being gay. However the fear clings to his legs like an anxious cat, he’s spent so long trying not to let it show on him that the thought of letting people know, deliberately, feels like those dreams where he walk into an exam without any pants on, only a 100 times more exposed.

He’s saved from standing there indefinitely by two young women coming out of the bar, one of them holding the door for him, raising her eyebrows and there is nothing for it but to go through.

Billy wasn’t quite sure what he had expected, possibly strobing lights reflecting off undulating bodies, hard bodies and glitter, not tables set out in neat rows and Horne, the great hulking Religious Studies professor to come shambling towards him. Horne looked like a bear and was president over the College Egalitarian Hiking Club. He was also one of the most embarrassingly religious people Billy had ever met. 

Before Christmas Goody had dragged Billy to his “non-denominational Solstice service”, one of the strangest fucking experiences of Billy’s life, where Horne had started with saying that while he was obviously Christian, anyone else were welcome to dedicate this spiritual moment to any deity they felt they were connected to, and then had rambled a lot about “As how the lengthening days light triumphs over dark so may peace triumph over war etc.” before leading them all in a round of “Here comes the Sun.” Billy had wanted to die of second hand embarrassment, but he had to admit that when Horne came in to do a guest lecture in his Anthropology course he was pretty cool. He was unconventional and soft spoken in a way which was belied both by his build and his academic writing style, which according to some were like being kicked in the head. His feud with Marcel and Jean Pigéon was legendary.

“Rocks, isn’t it?” Horne says in his high reedy voice. “Welcome in,and come sit here, its providence that you came just now, we were one person short and just about to start and it’s so depressing to have an empty spot. I was going to fill in but I imagine everyone here already knows me pretty well. Ha ha ha.”

 And then he quickly deposited Billy in a chair and lumbered off towards the bar, leaving Billy with the sinking feeling of just having agreed to speed date.

[spaceorphan18]

SO Watches Friends 1x01-1x03

Apparently, it’s been 25 years since Friends aired - and I’m seeing all these articles on it, how it was the greatest ever, how it sucked, how apparently the youngins are discovering it on Netflix.  

So - I felt like, what they hey, I haven’t seen it in years, and I need to watch something while I have meals, so let’s see how well this show holds up.  

Pilot - The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate (because how else is she going to pay for that apartment.) 

It’s funny to me that this was the hot new show of the time.  Because these people are... incredibly boring.  The beginning montage is them sitting in a cafe talking about random boring things for what appears to be hours, then they go home and watch TV.  This seems to be what they do on the weekend.  I mean, I realize in the early 90s there wasn’t /that/ much to do - but still, they live in NYC, and most of the stuff they do on this show will be sitting around doing nothing.  

So, let’s break down these characters, shall we? 

Rachel - It’s her wedding day, but she skips out on her wedding because she didn’t love her fiance.  I think this is supposed to be funny?  While I do think, in general, all of the characters are more relatable (and nicer) than in later in the series, she’s such a weird amalgamation of what the writers (or network?) thought would be relatable? I mean - she’s kind of dumb, and rich enough that money isn’t a problem, and her family values are set back in the 50s - hence her getting married so her husband can support her instead of her father.  

I get where the character is coming from - but while it might have been more of a progressive stance at the time -- it seems like a relic now.  

Monica - Who is the most together one of them at the moment.  I like early Monica, tbh, who appears intelligent (for the most part).  They’ll later take her quirks and make her a neurotic nutjob - but I can appreciate her mature nature right now.  

She goes on a date with Paul the Wine Guy - and again, it shows just how boring these guys’ lives are that they’re standing around her apartment with nothing better to do than to cheer her on about her date.  Is this what people in ther 20s did in the early 90s? I was much too young to know.  Anyway - Paul the Wine Guy is an asshate who uses lines to get Monica into bed.  The network thought this would make Monica sleezy.  I’m so glad times have changed enough that we can look back and be glad we can see that it’s really Paul the Wine Guy who’s sleezy, and that there are faster ways to figure out if a guy is a creep or not.  

Phoebe - Phoebe has absolutely nothing to do in the pilot other than be there and be weird.  I much appreciate it - because this show would be utterly boring and devoid of any quirky elements if she wasn’t there.  Also - Lisa Kudrow sells the comedy while most of the rest of them (minus Matthew Perry) seem to be just reading the script. 

Joey - I have no idea what Matt LeBlanc is trying to do here.  Is he doing a NYC Italian accent?  Is he trying out for a part? He’s kind of the most cringy during the Pilot but at least that’ll go away quickly.  

I don’t have a whole lot to say about Joey, he and Chandler are like two halves of the same character at the beginning, both with little development.  But - funny enough, maybe it’s age, I found myself agreeing with Joey during the whole dishing out life advice thing to Ross -- there’s no such thing as soul mates or destiny, get out there and live life :P 

Chandler - Like Phoebe he doesn’t have much to do other than make quips.  Granted - he did have some of the best, genuinely funny lines of the episode.  Matthew Perry’s comedic chops as well - and it’s a shame there is much Phoebe and Chandler stuff on the show.  

Anyway, the writers originally toyed with making Chandler gay, which I find a shame, I think that would have worked so well.  And added some diversity to this really, really non-diverse cast.  I completely understand why this makes lists of ‘Things Straight, White, and Loosely Christian People Like’.  25 years later, it’s incredibly glaring.  Even Saved by the Bell, which was ending its run at the time, managed to be more diverse. 

Ross - I’m curious as to when Ross becomes that one Friend whom everyone hates.  He’s recently divorced (from a woman who figured out she was a lesbian) and being really mopey about it (which, you know, is understandable).  I don’t particularly like or dislike Ross at the moment.  

I will say the whole Ross and Rachel thing is telegraphed from a mile here, and it’s weird that they’re going to drag this romance out for an entire season and a half when he literally asks her out at the end of the episode, and she says yes.  Why, why, why is this going to be dragged out so much.  (I know the reason - sweeps week - but still.)  

Is the episode entertaining? Eh.  It still has a lot of the trappings of an 80s sitcom - the annoying laugh track, the forced jokes, the surface level stories - only it’s new and hip because 20-somethings had never had a show to themselves without an older mentor around.  At the same time, there isn’t anything that remarkable about any of these 20-somethings, which may or may not have been the point.  I suppose we’ll see.  

The One With the Sonogram (of Ross’s baby that he’s having with this lesbian ex-wife) at the End

This episode is merely a continuation of all the threads set up in the pilot.  You can tell Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe aren’t developed yet, as they really don’t do anything other than crack one-liners at opportune times.  I shouldn’t complain that these characters just don’t feel like they’re getting enough time together as a group (because obviously, there are a ton more episodes to go where they are) but I feel like they’re spending too much time in individual plot lines that aren’t that interesting. 

Plot A) Ross finds out that his ex-wife (who’s a lesbian) is having his baby (because apparently they did it one more time after she left him? Idk), and he’s not doing so well with that.  Idk - I don’t hate this plot line.  For being the early 90s, the show is treating being gay with much more respect than pretty much everything before that (even if the idea of lesbians is treated as a joke rather than a serious thing people are).  At least the gay stuff isn’t villainized.  

Plot B) Rachel gives back the ring to her ex-fiance, whom she finds out was fooling around with her maid of honor.  This is the first time we meet Barry, and everything about him screams douchebag.  There’s nothing remotely interesting here, and it almost feels obligatory for Rachel’s story.  Also - I find it ridiculous that he and Rachel would be having private conversations with a (child) patient there.  

Plot C) We meet Monica and Ross’s controlling and judgmental parents who prefer Ross to Monica.  While Elliot Gould and Christina Pickles are both fantastic actors - I cannot with the amount of judgy-ness that spews forth, and really can’t wait for them to be the quirkier people they eventually become.  

Oh- and I forgot, this show decided for the beginning of season 1 to have these philosophical discussions about the differences between men and women, and I feel like this episode is supposed to loosely tie into that and I kind of roll my eyes and am like -- just be the situational comedy that you’re meant to be.  

Is this episode any good? Eh, not really.  There are some funnier moments in an otherwise bland and obligatory story.  

The One With the Thumb (in a can that Phoebe almost drinks)

This episode is so boring that it’s almost tedious to get through all 22 minutes of it.  Here we go! 

Plot A) Monica dates a guy named Alan that everyone likes but she doesn’t and she finds it hard to break up with him.  

I get what the writers were going with here - that she’d have to tell her friends that they need to ‘break up’ with Alan, despite them all really liking him.  Idk - I don’t think the whole schtick is that funny, and feels pointless when we barely get to meet Alan himself.  

I do have to note that Monica talks with one of her coworkers - who is the first PoC on the show, a black woman.  But we’re never going to see her again, so...? 

Plot B) Chandler starts smoking again - and we get a PSA plot line about the dangers of smoking.  Friends is rarely going to be a preachy show, and it’s super weird when it is.  It’s especially weird that it’s centered around smoking because -- who cares? 

Plot C) Phoebe accidentally has good things happen to her.  It’s almost like a running joke more than a plot line that ends with her ending up with a thumb in a can that nets her $7000.  It’s... just a really dumb sitcom plot line.  But, hey, we learn that Phoebe hangs out with homeless people.  And, the episode gets a point for tying all three plot lines together at the end.  

So... I’ll probably do these three or four at a time.  And the first three?  Eh, not great.  It’s fascinating that this show became such a hit right off the bat - because there’s not anything uniquely interesting about any of these characters yet.  And the plot lines are all so generic and/or dumb that there’s little to latch on to.  

We’ll see how this goes.  

[halbarryislife]

I saw Jersey Boys on Tour! (6/30/19) Atlantic City.

Ces Soirees la' Silhouettes

The transition from Ces Soirees la to Silhouettes is amazing.

During Tommy’s monologue Nick and Nick are talking.

I love Frankie’s entrance. “Silhouettes! Silhouettes!”

“Rocky Marciano!” Tommy makes punching motions. (I’m actually friends with his grandson or great grandson. I can’t remember.) 

Apple Of My Eye

Frankie was the only one that clapped.

The waiter was bored out his mind and the drunk guy is honestly a mood.

I Can't Give You Anything But Love

Frankie looked so confused when Tommy called him up on stage.

Everyone became interested when Frankie started singing.

“You listenin’?” Ya.” Type A: At first they're real easy. Jump right into bed with you. Then later on, they bust your balls. Type B: At first they play hard to get. Then later on, they. bust. your. balls.” “I don’t get it?!” “Don’t worry. You will.”  

Earth Angel

This is actually my favorite song from the show.

Mrs.  Castelluccio is watching over the judge and when Frankie is released she looks relieved.

Nick brings Tommy his suitcase.

A Sunday Kind Of Love

Nicky looks at his dates breast the entire time.

     ________________________

 Frankie stares at Mary like a lovesick puppy while singing.

He loves her so much.

“She’ll send you home in a envelope” Tommy said envelope with a thick Italian accent. 

“Type A.” “Ya Ya.” Frankie shoves Tommy away.

“Y’s a bullshit letter.” My last name ends with a Y.

“They... went away for awhile.” Poor Frankie.

“You’ve got a nickel?” “YAy” Frankie had a voice crack. 

“You've. got. to. shoot. the. witnesses. too. This is a basic rule.”

My Mother's Eyes

Gyp is actually pretty young. Like 40’s-50’s ish. He actually looks kind of younger than Tommy.

 “I’ve got a very special relationship with him.” “Tommy.” “Ya gyp?” “Can you pick up my dry cleaning?” My favorite part of the show.

“Bring me to Springfield to see my granddaughter.” Quite a few people laughed because gyp looks like a dad of a teen.

“Those guys went away?” Frankie looks over to Tommy suspiciously connecting all the dots. “Ya.” 

Frankie holds up the dollar bill and goes “EyyEes” at Tommy like ‘haha look what I got‘ 

    ________________________ 

“With you and Gaudio!” Joey is so annoyed with Tommy.

I Go Ape

“Tommy I can’t keep it straight. One week we’re the Romans, the village voices, the fucking Andrew sisters!” I love Nick’s sass.

“Comedy stuff” Nicky just screams “Noooo!”

“Handsome Hank.”

“HHHEeeYYyY”

Hank’s voice was cracking while yelling at the guys and then did a body motion that made his mask go over his face and walked out like a gorilla

“Stick to what you're good at. Rob a bank!”

Short Shorts

“Joe Pesci. Ya That Joe Pesci. The actor. 30 years later the little punk wins an Oscar. Who knew.”

When Bobby starts playing Tommy makes a bunch of hand motions.

Moody's Mood

Frankie just stares at Bobby the entire time.

Cry For Me

Nicky was flirting with this girl but got distracted by Bobby’s singing.

Tommy was looking around to see how everyone was reacting and right before he started to sing he was like “oh fuck it”

“It’s. Fucking. Dynamite.” Tommy glares at Joey. “Itsgoodagoodblend.”

Backups Medley

So I was in Atlantic City to see the show and I’m honestly disappointed that whenever tge guys mentioned Atlantic City the crowd didn’t cheer louder. (I’m not from Atlantic City)

I love Crewe’s hand motions.

“And who are YOU? Yum. Yum. And yum.” Bob looks to audience. Audience laughs.

Honestly Crewe and the sound producer are the most iconic duo. Change my mind.

“Take, whatever.”

Sherry

I loved their moves.

Big Girls Don't Cry

Nick’s baritone gives me life.

Walk Like A Man

“What like a woman!?”

“Apparently more guys than we thought have been twisted around a girls little finger.”

December, 1963 (Oh, What A Night)

The prostitutes have sexier outfits.

“What’s your name?” “booOOOOOOBBBB” Bobby’s voice gets even higher.

Bob coming out in the bathrobe was amazing.

“Ended much too soon.” Tommy points to Bob’s privates.

“Nick was right. It is more fun with another person” the audience bursts into tears.

“Almost 8. Miles. A. Gallon.”

“I want you inside me.”

My Boyfriend's Back

WHY DOES NOBODY TALK ABOUT HOW THE GIRL WHO PLAYS MARY HAS TO DO AN 8 SECOND QUICK CHANGE FROM ONE OF THE ANGELS TO MARY!?

My Eyes Adored You

Mary looked so upset. Maybe even more than Frankie.

I actually feel sorry for Mary. She had less sass.

Dawn (Go Away)

I loved when their backs faced us and the lights came out.

The ‘crew’ was singing along with the Seasons

When the loan shark came out Crewe and others were around so they heard the debt conversation.

When the guys were singing walk like a man to Tommy a woman took a picture of him right before the lights went down.

Big Man In Town

I loved Nick before this. Love him even more. I just want to hug him.

“I forgot we were in O.H.I.O.”

When the guys are arrested and Tommy sings Ohio Nick looks amused.

Tommy sang really high on “old time in OHIO!”

When Lorianne was interviewing everyone poor Nicky was sitting next to them drinking his sorrows away.

“You don’t tell the truth to your wife!”

“He might be a little stupid did you ever think of that?”

Beggin'

When the guys walk in front of the gangster drawing was actually iconic.

When the guys sit down right after beggin Nick grabs his shot glass and drinks all of it in one gulp. While everyone else took a small sip.

Nicks monologue got a lot of laughs. Mainly when he sat down, he had a look on his face like “oh shit what did I just do?”

Nick talking back to Tommy. Calling Tommy out. Honestly cured my anxiety.

“HE WAS PISSING IN THE SINK!” “I do not piss in the sink” Nick walks away from Tommy. Tommy raises his hands and goes ‘oh well’ and sits down.

So if you have seen the OBC bootleg and the promotional video from like 2011 during Frankie’s monologue when he’s yelling at Tommy. JLY starts very stern and calm and Jarrod Specter starts really angry and yells but Jon Wextler is like right in the middle and I loved it.

“Taxly half a mill. In that area.” Poor Nick slams his head on the table.

Tommy looked like he was gonna cry when he was being escorted out by the loan shark because Frankie turned away from him.

 Medley

“I don’t want anyone involved in our future but me and Frankie!” The light goes onto Nicky. The audience ‘awwww’ s for Nicky.

Nicky almost looks like he’s gonna cry.

“Do you think it was Nicky’s drinking?” 

“Performing wasn’t really my thing” silence. “You know what” silence. “You’re right. I don’t want to hear it.”

“Fuck you.”

It’s quite sad when the number of microphones being pushed off gets smaller and smaller until it’s only Frankie.

Mary was actually really sincere.

C’mon Marianne

Poor Frankie just trying to stay alive.

Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You

Everyone began clapping Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You started

At the end, Frankie was enjoying the claps.

Working My Way Back To You

He’s so happy!

Love Joe and Charlie

Fallen Angel

This song made me cry.

It hits a chord with me.

I feel so sorry for Frankie.

Rag Doll

All the guys walk out in a line singing.

I lowkey forgot Tommy existed

“If you’re ever in Vegas and you say the name Tommy Devito. My hand to god. You’ll be out of there in about 10 seconds.”

“I don’t give a FUCK about the old neighborhood.” Honestly one of my favorite parts. 

“Without ME.” Bob just has a huge grin on his face like ‘look what I did’

During Nick's final monologue (I think) walk like a man was playing behind him or big girls don’t cry. I can’t remember.

For some reason people started laughing when Nick said “It just came out of my mouth.”

“And you’re ringo.” A lot of laughs.

“Nicky and that mind of his.” Nick walks right off stage as he finished that. I was actually crying.

Everyone laughed at the battery bunny joke.

Who Loves You

It was amazing.

All the guys came out together and bowed together.

December, 1963 (Oh, What A Night)

This was also amazing.

The guys walked out together holding each other.  

Other notes:

Whenever someone comes out sitting on a chair, they slide in on wheels and slides out. 

Bob and Nick were y’all bois

Frankie was a small boi

Joey was adorable. 

Tommy has a few gray hairs

Poor Tommy was sweating up a storm during the first few songs

Tommy has plastic covering his furniture

Love the outfits 

I want Bob and Frankie’s shirts

(l to r) Jonathan Cable, Jonny Wexler, Eric Chambliss and Corey Greenan

[mst3kproject]

1008: Final Justice

I had a patient a while back whose name was Geronimo.  He was very impressed that I pronounced it correctly on the first try.  I didn’t have the heart to tell him how I knew.

Thomas Jefferson ‘TJ’ Geronimo III Mitchell is deputy sheriff in the middle of nowhere because that’s how they punish mass murderers in Texas. He has a shootout with mobster Joseph Palermo literally right in front of his office door, which ends in a couple of people dead.  Mitchell beats the shit out of Palermo, then arrests him, and is told to escort him back to Italy so he will no longer be Texas’ problem.  Naturally the mobster escapes on the way, and Mitchell II sets about pissing off the entire island of Malta in the attempt to hunt him down and recapture him.

I take back what I said about both Gregorio Sala and Joe Estevez. At the time I reviewed Track of the Moon Beast and Werewolf I had totally forgotten that the reincarnation of Mitchell here is supposed to be an Apache.  Joe Don Baker is officially and forevermore MST3K’s whitest Native American.

I know we’re supposed to consider Mitchell, the Sequel an antihero who plays by his own rules, and cheer him on in his attempts to recapture Palermo.  I know Wilson turns out to be a bad guy and Palermo has probably killed more people than Mitchell has. But this asshole spends the whole movie stomping around, being rude and obnoxious and shooting people and belittling the woman who’s trying to help him and generally leaving me sitting here thinking so this is how Europe sees Americans.  The Superintendent calls him ‘a walking disaster area,’ ‘leaving bodies in the streets’, and he’s right.  This man is the personification of police brutality.

Do you know what would have happened if Mitchell had gone the hell home when he was told to?  Yes, Palermo would have gotten away, but absolutely nobody would have died, way less property would have been destroyed, and the population of Malta as a whole would have had much nicer weekend!  Do these people not matter?  How about the woman who saw her son nearly killed in front of her?  How about the stripper who got her throat cut?  If Mitchell had just sat his ass down none of that would have happened.

In fact, I think I can make a case that this Mitchell is a significantly less appealing character than his predecessor.  See if you can follow me here.

Mitchell Senior was completely lacking in social skills and basic hygiene, but his motivation throughout his movie was to get justice for a murder victim nobody else cared about.  He followed the rules to a T – the bad guys tried to bribe him with a prostitute, and he arrested her for possession of drugs.  The only guy he killed was the villain, and while he did shoot Bocca he deliberately minimized the chances of a fatal injury.  He rebelled by following his assignment so hard his boss wished he’d never given it to him.  Having been told to follow Cummins, he follows him almost all the way to Mexico. And it was the 70s, so he has an excuse for being badly-dressed!

Mitchell 2, Electric Boogaloo, ignores the rules.  He’s a guest in another country, their police are telling him to stop breaking their shit, and he goes out and keeps doing it.  He commits more on-screen crimes than all the bad guys put together.  He starts a fight over a glass of milk and nearly drowns a bartender.  He shoots dudes down in the street, steals boats, and destroys property.  Having been asked to give his word he lies through his teeth, and he dresses like he might as well be wearing a sign that says asshole from Texas.  He’s so awful he makes Mitchell One look good.

He wouldn’t even be a good character for a comedy, since the point of an asshole in a comedy is that he does things we wish we could get away with, and when comedy assholes are supposed to be the good guys they usually end up learning something (often that they’re assholes).  2 Fast 2 Mitchell learns nothing. He doesn’t come to respect this foreign culture he’s encountered.  He doesn’t realize he was acting out of line.  I honestly think that, like MacGuyver in Atlantic Rim, he’s meant to teach the rest of the cast that assholes should be free to be assholes so they can save the rest of us who aren’t brave enough to shoot first and never fucking bother with the questions.

I’m not sure Final Justice is a comedy, anyway.  It did occur to me… there are at least parts of this movie that I’m pretty sure are meant to be funny.  The idea of transposing cowboy movie shootouts and chases to a European landscape of renaissance art and architecture is probably supposed to be funny.  You’ve got a so-called ‘hero’ who’s a rootin'-tootin'-shootin' cowboy and a villain who’s an honour-and-family-obsessed Italian mobster… that’s a genre crossover, and those are usually comedies, right?  I’m almost certain that Mitchell getting repeatedly arrested and yelled at by the Maltese police is a joke, and the old Nonna trying to confess her sins to a mobster disguised as a monk feels joke-ish.  Yet it’s just missing something.  What could it be?

Oh, right, a main character who’s actually funny.

There is one thing that actually made me laugh in the movie, rather than because of Mike, Crow, and Tom’s commentary – and that’s the blurred rectangle over every shot of the Smuggler’s Tavern strippers, to make sure we won’t see a nipple.  It could not draw more attention to itself if it tried, and maybe it’s just the edition I watched but there was not a single wardrobe malfunction in the shots they used anyway!  There were bits with the strippers topless in the original cut, but those didn’t make it into the version MST3K used. So they blurred it out… just in case?  Did they not want us imagining nipples?  Did the tumblr staff edit this movie?

So the main character sucks… sometimes entertaining side characters can save a movie.  Sadly, there are none here.  The villains are stock mobsters with it’s-a-me, Mario! accents.  The Maltese police chief talks big but seems unwilling to actually do anything to back up his threats to Mitchell.  Then there’s Maria, who is supposed to be a policewoman but mostly acts as a tour guide.  She’s very nearly another example of a sexy lamp.  She does nothing of any importance in this movie except for turning up to spring Mitchell from a jail cell.  The writers clearly couldn’t think of any better way to get him out of a locked room, either, because they have a stripper do the exact same thing.  This other woman never has much by way of personality, and is otherwise just there to look pretty.

The other function Maria serves is to repeatedly tell her superiors that Mitchell didn’t start any of the fights he gets into.  Anybody who has been watching the movie knows that this is a giant fucking lie.  He’s the one who challenged the mobsters in the courtyard and he shot first.  He could have shrugged off the weirdo in the Smuggler’s Tavern pouring beer on him but he didn’t.  Every time things go wrong in this movie it is always his fault.

As far as thematic material goes, I’m pretty sure Final Justice is trying to examine the difference between ‘law’ and ‘justice’.  This is a worthy topic of discussion.  The law is not always just, and even when it is, people do not always apply it in just ways. But a guy who wanders around a foreign country shooting people with only a suspicion that they work for the bad guy, who walks into a bar and announces ‘I don’t want any trouble here!’ before punching everybody in sight, is not the best spokesman for that idea.  Mitchell probably has extra guns stashed all over his house in case The Gubbamint tries to take them away.

The fact that the Maltese are not shown doing anything except yelling at Mitchell 2: Through the Portal of Time, seems to imply that they would have been completely unable to capture Palermo on their own.  Boy, good thing Mitchell was there!  Do Americans really think other countries can’t handle their own problems without an intervention by some bald-eagled ass-whoopin’ liberty?  Looking at the history of the twentieth century, I’m gonna say that yes, they do.

Really all Final Justice is, is a bad cop movie with some unusual accessories.  If it were set in New York or Los Angeles it would be entirely forgettable.  The art and architecture we see in Malta, and the glimpse of their culture (I will admit that the floats in the festa parade are just slightly nightmare-fuel-ish) is pretty much the only reason to watch it.  Even then, there’s not enough of that stuff to make up for how fucking awful the movie’s entire mindset is.

I used to feel pretty meh about Final Justice but I’d never bothered to actually try to analyze it like this.  The more I think about it, the more layers I uncover, the worse it gets.  Everything about it is terrible.  The only level I can find to praise it on is that the photography is decent and you can always tell what’s going on, but even that is wasted on fucking Mitchell 2: Hellbound doing stupid offensive shit. Even the title sucks.  The movie was shot under the working title The Maltese Connection, which at least sounds kind of cool even if the movie it were attached to would still have been Final Justice.

Fuck this movie.

[mikanskey]

The Bold words

Rules: Bold the words / phrases you prefer.

Tagged by my dear @lamialee . Big hugs to you lovely !

summer or winter ( with snow, fire in the fireplace and cinnamon tea )

pizza or pasta ( with grated cheese, sliced mushrooms and Italian accent )

black & white ( like chess and like life )

comedy & horror ( and horror comedy are the best)

hugs & kisses (hugs for me and kisses for my ships)

shorts or pants ( to walk in a forest full of nettles )

night & day (great things happen all the time)

bath or shower (rain shower are the best)

cats or dogs

plain or patterned

beauty or brains ( beauty has its merits too )

coffee or tea (I can’t say coffee,I’ve made a blood promise)

concert or play (if I play chaos will rise)

fiction or nonfiction (fiction is the only safe haven in this world)

elevator or escalator (I know...dont say it)

pork or chicken

sleeping or eating ( if I were the sleeping beauty, the prince would take my fist in the face)

hot or cold (when the temperature exceeds 25 ° C I am a flabby dung.)

formal or casual (casual is the definition of my fashion style)

pen or pencil (Bic noir pour être précise)

sweet or spicy (my dentist is rich)

jet or ship (train, thank you)

high school or college (high school is cool only in Parker Lewis)

walking or jogging (jogging ? like in “to do sport” ? you’re crazy ?)

alone or in a crowd

love or money (but if I can have money too ....)

mammal or reptile (I love hairs on stuff...ok I should not say that like that)

bills or coins (credit card maybe ?)

straight hair or curly hair (because I have the other one, of course)

drunk or high (no need)

married or single (I choose “happy”)

ninjas or pirates (some ninja-pirates can be good)

zoo or aquarium (planetarium too)

flowers or chocolate

lawyer or doctor (I have a lawyer in my house so I guess I must say that)

car or house (can’t even drive sorry)

angels & demons (together please)

Christmas & Halloween ( all the reasons are good to have fun )

slippers or barefoot (always barefoot)

pool or beach

truth or dare

blonde or brunette

slippers or sneakers

debit or credit

quiet or loud (QUIET  !!!!!)

sun or moon (moon doesn’t give me sunburn so...)

thunder or lightning

bed or sofa ( it depends what you do there )

weird or normal (being normal is a very weird thing to be nowadays)

[janiedean]

Anyone who think Kit is a good actor is an idiot. And there's so many of them. That's why the world is getting worse and will be dominated by robots 🤖

oddmy dearest @the-bitter-gremlin hopefully you’ll get the tag because I really wanna make sure you see this reply :’DDDDDD

now, point the first: thanks for calling me an idiot! :D I mean, okay, not that grades mean anything of course but given that I went as far as graduating HS in the top five of my class, that I have two degrees one of which with the highest possible vote in a field that’s technically not too easy and that it’s even certified that I speak at least one language at native-tongue level and I can get by in two others other than mine I think my brain is fine enough, thank you.

I also watched more movies than the average person (no, I did, really, I considered studying cinema instead of going to proper uni for real), my top ten favorite movies is all stuff made before the nineties except for one and all my favorite actors are Certified Good Actors Like For Real and I got called a snob for my movie/actor taste more times than I can count. the only reason I’m doing this long-ass preamble is to inform you that if someone can’t act, I can recognize it and I have absolutely no problem admitting it even if it’s someone I like as a person or whose work I enjoy. for one, I can 100% admit that my favorite italian actor when he was nine back then was pretty atrocious (he got better admittedly but I haven’t followed him in a while, so who cares), and I still enjoyed his movies anyway even if he was terrible and I even knew it, but hey, he was hot, so who cares, right? and I enjoyed a fair amount of horribly acted italian fiction because it was fun, so really, I don’t have anything to lose here.

this was all a long preamble to tell you that yes, my favorite actor is marlon brando not the first idiot passing off the street, and yes, kit is actually good at what he does and no, people are not idiots for thinking that.

now, never mind that idek if you saw him in anything that’s not GOT, but the only movie of his I’ve seen where he was really meh was the spy movie and that was because the entire plot sucked ass and the character was terrible but everything was terrible. for the rest, he certainly pulled a better american accent than half of the british actors I’ve heard (it was brimstone by the way, excellent movie, watch it), he can do comedy (watch seven days in hell :D) and ah, yeah, he’s just making a movie/finishing a movie with xavier dolan who’s like… not someone known for picking bad actors. also, uuuh, he went to school for that actually, but not just anywhere -

ah, wow, HE WENT TO THE SAME SCHOOL WHERE LAURENCE OLIVIER, VANESSA REDGRAVE AND JUDI DENCH WENT but okay, sure, they’d totally take someone talentless according to them? and actually:

In the 2008 Research Assessment Exercise the majority of Central’s submission was judged “world leading” or “internationally excellent”. The school has been ranked highly by The Guardian, placing it sixth in its league table of specialist institutions[9]and ninth for Drama and Dance.

LOOK AT THAT, TOP-NOTCH SCHOOL.

now, what is that british acting schools prepare people for? theater.

which means that he’s a theater actor first and foremost, which shows in his damned acting because if you notice he does half of it with his voice, but I guess you were too busy thinking he’s too good-looking to act, right?

except that not counting theater stuff, GOT was the first job he had *and* his first job on tv, which means that of course he wasn’t as good as the others in the beginning, because a) acting for the theater and for tv aren’t the same, b) it was his first job and not everyone is named leonardo dicaprio and can act their way out of a what’s eating gilbert grape at seventeen.

thing is: while at least one of his co-stars hasn’t improved in the role they have (imo but it’s also the writing) and most of the others GOT actors are either seasoned professionals or had acted for the camera before and had less issues adapting to it, he actually got better, and he actually acted a lot better when he was feeding off other people. case in turn:

that’s jon and jaime in s1. admittedly, not kit’s best effort unless you interpret it as jon being so lovestruck by jaime being around him that he’s like 404 page not found, and he had one scene with NCW from then until S7, and they didn’t even interact. NCW is miles better than he is here, obviously, but like, NCW has been in the job since the early 90s and I assure you his first danish movie isn’t his best acting effort either even if it’s not bad. BUT, let’s go to another S1 scene:

jon and sam discuss sex, yey! here he’s with a guy - john bradely - who’s probably (at this point) better than him at reciting on screen, but with whom he’s had a lot more scenes and that is playing his best friend and with whom he presumably hung out a lot and with whom he’s had a lot of time to work with. and even if it’s still S1, if you look at it it’s miles better - he does a lot more of microexpressions, he never looks at the camera (first sign of bad acting btw, he didn’t do it in the previous scene either but there he looked starstruck all the time, here he doesn’t) and like, you can already see that there’s a vast difference in between the two. and it’s the same season, five episodes apart - supposedly they also filmed it later and he’s already more at ease with it. 

now, small pause to remind you that at this point jon doesn’t have too much extra baggage BUT that kit actually read the damned book and you can see it because he makes very precise choices ie in the book after jon burns his hand he flexes the fingers of the hurt one every time he’s nervous or he’s about to lie or something, and he does the exact same thing (link here btw), and fyi, with the exception of partially alfie and gwen, no one in the cast actually went as far as that so HAHAHAHAHA WOW SUCH BAD ACTING, INNIT? anyway, that was season one. I’ll spare you and myself S2/¾ also because if I link you the jon/ygritte scenes I’ll shoot myself in the head. instead, let’s go to season five and 5x02, as in the season where I literally would have quit the fucking show if it wasn’t for jon’s storyline.

if you look at this, he doesn’t even say a fucking word until the ending, and you can see exactly what he’s thinking just looking at his damned face, because if you pay even the slightest bit of attention you notice that he changes expression minutely with every damned word sam and thorne say, you can see his eye movements, then he goes from complete sour to sad to angry to surprised to delighted to worried to happy again in the span of four minutes without even talking once and it’s miles better than anything he did in S1. 

or you could also rewatch the scene where he punches ramsay in S6 where he does a lot of microexpressions that speak for him without even talking, again, in an episode where he did all the stunts on his own same as the rest of the show, and that’s really not little given all the work it goes into being, uh, the main character, who also happens to have to be a seasoned fighter and use swords and so on. (I can’t link but I think I exhausted my limit for linking videos on tumblr so whatever *SHRUG*)

guess what: HE IMPROVED. GREATLY. IT SHOWS. learn to watch the damned thing, it doesn’t take going beyond GOT to realize it. and now, two last things I have to say to you before I finish this because I honestly wasted too much time on you already.

one: he might not be the best actor around - fair enough -, but kit’s definitely good imo. not passable, not decent, not average - he’s good. and he’s learning and he’s improved tremendously in the last eight years and it shows, and he put enough effort into this role to a) read the canon, b) incorporate the canon into it, c) actually changing scenes so that they fit canon more, d) do all his own stunts, e) carry 60% of this whole damned liver-destroying show on his shoulders since at least S5 in which his sl was the only saving grace of the entire thing and he executed it perfectly, so kindly fuck off and don’t go to people calling them idiots because they think an actor is good.

(ps: I

two: going into people’s askboxes and calling them idiots because they enjoy something and insulting what they enjoy is a) rude, b) uncalled for, c) an asshole move.

next time let me/us/whoever enjoy this guys’ acting in peace and keep your fucking opinion to yourself, because honest, if I could spend twenty years out of almost thirty of my life keeping my mouth shout about how much I hate HP to a) my rl friends, b) my internet friends and I could keep myself from informing them that I think it’s really bad under their posts or in their inbox or to their face because I’d be an asshole if I decided to shit on what they like, then you can pay me the same favor (or about anyone else) and not go around dissing stuff people like to their faces when they said openly they like them.

sayonara and call me when you get an emmy nomination :’)

[aion-rsa]

Free Guy: How Jodie Comer Went From Holby City to Hollywood

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

Talk about glamorous locations. It’s an overcast spring day in Boston, and Den of Geek is standing in… a parking lot outside an old flower warehouse. No, we haven’t made a wrong turn. This is the unassuming, on-location base camp for the cast and crew of Free Guy, a high-concept action-comedy set in (and out of) an explosive open-world video game. The forecourt is filled with rows of neatly parked, nondescript white trailers, which we’re ushered along until we reach one with a sign on the door that simply reads: “Molotov Girl”.

This is the temporary hangout for one of the film’s headline stars. After Jodie Comer’s big break onto the global A-list with TV phenomenon Killing Eve, Hollywood naturally came calling, and Free Guy marks her first starring role in a bonafide big-screen blockbuster. The native Liverpudlian, who started her career with guest appearances on shows including Holby City, Waterloo Road and Doctors, has clearly remained typically grounded, though—this is actually her day off from shooting and, as she beckons us inside with a beaming smile, she’s in the middle of clearing out her kitchen fridge. 

“It’s been so much fun,” Comer enthuses about her time on the project so far (they’re only two weeks into the shoot), as we take a seat in her makeshift living room. “I’ve never done anything like this before, and it’s very easy to feel overwhelmed because everything is new, but it has been so relaxed. There’s a lot of energy on this set and you’re encouraged to just roll with it.”

Warm, friendly and happy to chat despite the fact she’s not technically at work today, Comer is a million miles away from the character she’s (currently) best known for—Killing Eve’s murderous menace, Villanelle. And, despite the incendiary name, so is Free Guy’s Molotov Girl… The kick-ass heroine is actually an avatar, created by human programmer Millie to navigate the world of the game-within-a-film, Free City, and help non-playable character Guy (Ryan Reynolds) to save the digital playground he calls home.

“They both have their strengths, but in very different departments,” Comer explains. “Millie has created a version of herself—this badass chick who rides a motorcycle and is ridiculously cool—which I think is really interesting, especially in this day and age where so many of us are on social media and we kind of create this ideal of what it is that we want to be perceived as. There’s so much to play with within these two characters.”

Comer says that the dual role was a big part of why she ultimately decided to take the role, but for director Shawn Levy—the man behind the Night At The Museum franchise and a regular helmer on Netflix’s Stranger Things—it also allowed the filmmakers to “exploit Jodie’s unique talent”. 

“The character in the game is very cool, incredibly empowered and in absolute control of the events around her,” Levy reveals when we catch up with him later, during a break from orchestrating a high-octane action sequence with Reynolds on the bank of Boston’s Charles River. “Whereas in real life, it’s not so simple for Jodie’s character, so we get to play two very different shades all with the same actor.”

The differences even encompass the characters’ accents: one American, one crisply British, both miles away from the endearingly Scouse twang that Comer carries in real life. It’s a skill that she’s well-known for—on Killing Eve, for example, she slips between varying languages and intonations, from French to Russian to Dutch to Italian, with absolute ease. And then… “All of a sudden, she speaks in her Liverpudlian accent—and you’re like, ‘What the hell? Where’s that person been all day?!’” says a still-surprised Reynolds.

The Deadpool star admits he hadn’t seen Killing Eve prior to working with Comer, but now considers himself “a massive fan”. “It’s seriously something that doesn’t happen, except maybe every 10 years, where a new actor arrives and doesn’t feel like anyone you’ve seen before,” Levy adds. “We saw dozens and dozens and dozens of actresses. But I think within four or five lines of her audition, Ryan and I looked at each other because it was like an apparition. She vanishes into the character. In real life, she’s just an incredibly sweet, warm young woman. But we’ve seen on Killing Eve and now in this movie, she’s able to transform and inhabit a role in a way that is stunning.”

In Free Guy, that transformation extends to Comer’s physicality, especially in the role of Molotov Girl. With the filmmakers opting to capture the in-game world in live action, rather than a digital depiction à la Ready Player One (“There’s something about seeing the avatars as real people that connects you to them more,” Comer says), it meant that the actors’ physical performances would be in sharper focus. And while she’s no stranger to onscreen action thanks to her stint as hard-edged hitwoman Villanelle, taking on a Hollywood tentpole meant that the bar was inevitably raised… 

“Molotov Girl is a woman who I feel is very unlike myself,” Comer says, “so that kind of transformation is always fun to sink your teeth into. I would definitely say the physicality of her has been the biggest challenge, because she’s very fierce, and just also getting that stance that video game characters have, where they look strong and their shoulders are back… I’m a bit more kind of hunched in! So that’s something that I’ve had to be really aware of when I’m playing her and trying to get the stunts down.”

As well as some full-on fitness training, Comer was schooled in various martial arts before the shoot started—grabbing the opportunity to “learn a new skill” with both hands. “We have an incredible stunt team, so Hayley [Wright, Comer’s stunt double] takes over for all the really cool, hardcore stuff—and I’m happy to pass that baton over!” she laughs. “But I really want to try and do as much as I possibly can.” 

The stakes may be high, but the thing that grounds Free Guy’s huge set-pieces is the humour and the human element—hence the choice of live-action over mo-capped, CG-tastic visuals. “Essentially at the centre of it is this emotional connection between these two characters,” says Comer. “They want to change the world but they feel like they are stuck in the background, and they kind of recognise that within each other. There’s a real heart at the centre of all the crazy stuff.”

Key to this was the chemistry between the two leads, which quickly became apparent for everyone in the audition room. “It felt very easy,” Comer recalls. “Even though we had our lines, Ryan and I were talking over each other and interacting in ways that weren’t actually on the page—and that was our first meeting. It’s hard to produce that chemistry when it isn’t there [naturally]. And that’s carried over to the set: Shawn and Ryan are very encouraging, so it feels safe to play around, to try things and if it doesn’t work, go back to something else.” Not that it’s all plain sailing, though… “I think people really underestimate how hard comedy is,” she laughs. “As soon as you try to be funny, it kind of just goes!”

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Free Guy’s comedy may be a lot broader than Killing Eve’s pitch-black humour, but, as with the stunts and physical feats, Comer says it’s all part of her ultimate goal: “to continue challenging myself”. Taking on new challenges is becoming something of a driving force for the actor, whose future on the A-list is looking bright. Next, she’ll be changing tack completely as the star of Ridley Scott’s weighty historical drama The Last Duel—a role that some are predicting could carry potential awards-season recognition. One thing seems certain, though: the cheery Scouser is likely to stay grounded, no matter how big or swanky the trailers get. Not that such things matter to her. “I don’t like sitting on my own in my trailer,” she says. “I’d rather be hanging out with people.”

Free Guy opens in cinemas on August 13.

The post Free Guy: How Jodie Comer Went From Holby City to Hollywood appeared first on Den of Geek.

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Movies I watched this week - 24

In The Cakemaker ( האופה מברלין‎) a lonely baker moves from Berlin to Jerusalem in order to bond with the widow and young son of his boyfriend, who had died in a car accident. 

A restrained, moving and subversive Israeli film about Identities - what a surprise!. 8+ / 10.

The only trope that annoyed me was the power of “Food” as magic.

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2 with Saoirse Ronan:

✳️✳️✳️ In The Lovely Bones, 14 year old Saoirse Ronan is being murdered (brutally, but off screen) by creepy neighbor Stanley Tucci. The first 30 minutes before the murder are bone-chillingly scary, but then it turns into a stupid, unnecessary metaphysical theoretical bullshit. Sad!

✳️✳️✳️ Lady Bird, Greta Gerwig’s directorial debut.

Sensitive, quiet and empathetic, well-paced and beautifully acted. Re-watch.

Best film of the week!

✳️✳️✳️ Bonus: Saoirse Ronan's many accents

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In Daniel Clowes’s sad Ghost World, misfit teenage friends, Scarlett Johansson and Thora Birch, prank dorky Steve Buscemi after they find a lonely heart ad he had placed.

Sweet and sensitive about adolescent angst and punk restlessness.

9/10.

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Unfortunately, Terry Zwigoff’s next film after Ghost World was Bad Santa, a terrible, unfunny crime story of a Charles Bukowski-type mall Santa with no redeeming characteristics who robs the stores where he works at the end of the season. 2/10

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“Mmm... Whale carcass...”

Luca, the newest Pixar feature, (which is like “Coco but on the Italian Riviera”...), and which is like “Call me by your name”, but without the gay stuff. First feature from the director of La Luna, and pretty much a Vespa product placement.

I like the posters from the old film classics (Roman Holiday, Bicycle Thief) that can be briefly glimpsed on the town’s walls!

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2 with Kristen Stewart:

✳️✳️✳️ American Ultra: A goofy underground comix disguised as an action movie where the hero is a loser stoner who loves his stoner girlfriend. Sweet and over the top. With Huell Babineaux in a colorful sweater in a small role.

Terrific end titles done in Mike’s "Apollo Ape" drawing style.

I wrote about it here, giving it “3 Funyons”.

(Re-watch)

✳️✳️✳️ Personal Shopper starts suggestively with two interesting stories, one of lovely Stewart as a shopper for a super model celebrity who eventually gets murdered, and another of her being a medium who communicates with ghosts. But in the last 30 minutes, she is trying to connect with her dead twin brother, and the whole plot falls apart and ends ‘nowhere’ (literally in a random room in Oman).

It is shot in romantic Paris with a small side connection to Hilda of Klimt (who was also a spiritualist), so it was very appealing to the eye.

Even though it was uneven, I’ll look for other films by prolific French director Olivier Assayas.

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The Bothersome Man is a weird Norwegian film about a man who suddenly finds himself in a cold, “perfect” city - but without children or any emotions - and his attempts to escape from there. He is first dropped off - dressed like ‘Paris, Texas’s Harry Dean Stanton - in front of a deserted gas station in the middle of nowhere. It’s a dystopian story without explanations or much direction. 4/10.

✴️                

Icarus - Amateur cyclist Bryan Fogel’s 2017 investigation into illegal doping in international sport, and his discovery of a massive Russian conspiracy of cheating and cover up. I wonder how he first got the director of Russia's national anti-doping laboratory to help him cheat.

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✳️✳️✳️ “Man just wants to forget the bad stuff, and believe in the made-up good stuff. It's easier that way.”

Kurosawa classic 1950′s Rashōmon - I didn’t remember how low budget and simple it was: There are only three settings in the film: Rashōmon gate, the woods, and the courtyard. The black and White filming is symbolic of light and darkness, good and evil. Part of the score is Ravel’s Boléro.

(The Internet Archive copy is haltingly bad, but the only one I could find).

✳️✳️✳️ Sheila Marie Orfano explains The Rashomon effect, where individuals give significantly different but equally believable accounts of the same event.

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Kurzgesagt’s short film A Minute by Minute Account of the Day the Dinosaurs Died.

The YouTube channel of Kurzgesagt in general is one of the best.

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In the new Fatherhood, Kevin Hart’s wife dies a day after she gives birth, and he stays to raise his daughter by himself. I wanted to like it more but there wasn’t much there.

Also, the newborn baby was a bit too old. 3/10

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Errol Morris’s horrifying Standard Operating Procedure shows that we only know about Bush’s war crimes at Abu Ghraib because they were photographed. “American values” never change.

(This copy is pretty grainy)

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On the waterfront - Young Brando’s first Oscar performance was truly riveting.

“... It wasn't him, Charley, it was you. Remember that night in the Garden you came down to my dressing room... I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it. It was you, Charley..” 

✴️                   

In 2018, before he did ‘‘Another Round", Thomas Vinterberg must have bought a big house in the country, so he had to direct Kursk, about the Russian nuclear submarine that sunk and couldn’t be saved.

Conventional and boring. But I can’t imagine how this story could be told in any interesting way. 

With Lars Brygmann (in a ”normal” person role) and a cameo by Max Von Sydow.

✴️                        

Another unforgettable Max Von Sydow role, as “Joubert”, in my all-time favorite film, Sydney Pollack’s best, Three Days of the Condor.

“...It will happen this way. You may be walking. Maybe the first sunny day of the spring. And a car will slow beside you, and a door will open, and someone you know, maybe even trust, will get out of the car. And he will smile, a becoming smile. But he will leave open the door of the car and offer to give you a lift...”

The perfect thriller which I’ve seen at least 12-15 times, and will probably see again and again. Dave Grusin’s score is superb. It’s also one of the most Christmasy movies I know. 

10/10

✴️                             

2 scars:

✳️✳️✳️ The original Pre-Production Code, Howard Hawks Scarface, inspired by Al Capone, and the archetype of the gangster film. “This picture is an indictment of gang rule in America and of the callous indifference of the government to this constantly increasing menace to our safety and our liberty”. I never realized that there was some comedy and (lovely!) cabaret singing in it.

✳️✳️✳️ Oliver Stone’s 1983 Scarface, with Hector Salamanca as “Alberto” and Harris Yulin as Mel Bernstein!

40 years later, it’s just a bit too long - could use a little trim.

You need people like me so you can point your fuckin' fingers and say, "That's the bad guy."

✴️                  

A short YT clip of clips from Kubrick’s films, from FilmoteCanet Cinema which has hundreds more.

✴️                

Woody Allen’s Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex, with Gene Wilder as the doctor who falls in love with an Armenian sheep, Burt Reynolds and Lynn Redgrave. In hindsight, not as lecherous as remembered, but very 1972.

- - - - -

Throw-back to the art project:

Lady Bird Adora.

Daniel Clowes Adora.

La Luna Adora.

Three Days of the Condor Adora.

- - - - -

(My complete movie list is here)