#or platonic doesn’t matta

[elizakai]

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[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

> Karkat in tha hood: Recrizzle Vrizniska.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] begizzle troll'n arachnizzle [AG]

CG: OK DIS BE GO'N TO SOUND PREPOSTEROUS GIVEN OUR LAST CONVERSATION. CG cuz its a G thang: N I GIZZAY PRACTICALLY EVIZZLE CONVIZZLE PRECED'N IT. CG: N I'M PROBABLY MACKIN' TA HIZZLE TA DO SUM-M SUM-M COMPLETIZZLE DOGGY STYLIN' LIKE APOLOGIZE. CG: N EVEN TIZZY I'LL HATE MYSIZZELF FO` IT I WILL TOTALLIZZLE MEAN IT, I PROMISE. CG: LIKE, REALLY REALLY MEAN IT. 

AG: Yoe going ta ask me ta jiznoin yo' team, aren't yiznou. 

CG: It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. YEAH. CG: HOW DID YOU KNOW. 

AG: I dizzay sizzay ta hizzy mizzy C-H-to-tha-izzoice now! Aradia kicked me off tha gizzay team. 

CG: Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. HAHAHAHA WOW THAT BE BOOTYLICIOUS. CG in tha mutha fuckin club: WAIT, SORRY. CG: NO WAIT, I DIZNON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE, THAT RIGHT. YOU HIZZAVE NO CHOICE NOW. CG: I APOLOGIZE TA MYSELF FO` OFFERING YIZZLE A SHITTY MEANINGLESS APOLOGY. CG: APOLIZZLE ACCEPTIZZLE, KARKAT. LET BIZZLE THA THRESHA WITTA TOTALLIZZLE PLATONIC BRO B-TO-THA-IZZULGE BUMP. CG: BUMP HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 

AG: You dork. AG: D-ya really think yo' usual pedantic quips be perpetratin' ta 8ug me now???????? 

CG: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. I'M NOT TRY'N TA BUG YIZZY I'M MACKIN' TA GET YIZZY TA JOIN MAH DAMN TIZZLE, NOW STEP 'N LIZZLE SERKET. 

AG: I was jizzy 8etrayed n a8andonded 8y mah twizno accomplices n 8est pals, and on top of that I be soaked 'n tha 8lood of my lusus which I jizzay hizzle ta decapit8 myself. Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. AG: So listen'n ta a cra88y asshole 8e all tickled wit his own mediocre rizzles isn't rhymin' ta spizzoil mah even'n so you betta run and grab yo glock! 

CG: OK, WIZZY, SORRIZZLE TA H-TO-THA-IZZEAR 'BOUT THAT. CG: BUT I MEAN YOU CAN JUST DUMP NIGGA CARCASS 'N THA KERNEL N BR'N HA BACK STRONGA THIZNAN EVER. 

AG: Wow. AG: Uh, good ta know. AG fo yo bitch ass: I giznuess.  like this and like that and like this and uh::::\ 

CG: NOW WIZZY DON'T YOU HIZZAY 'N THA TRAP, WIZZAY TIZZY NASTY BLUE SIZZY OIZZY, N JIZZAY OUR SAGGIN' SESSION ALREADY.  

AG: Wizzy! It so rude ta D-to-tha-izzict8 hygizzle procizzle ta a lizzle. Under any circumstance! Even for douchey loudmizzles wit delusions of leadizzle. Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. AG: Mizzay8e you should trizny ta think a8out tha dizzum8 th'n that fall out of yo' protein chute fo` once, Vantizzles. 

CG: BLAH BLIZZLE BLAH. CG: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. NOW MAH CHUTE BE MACKIN' A FUCK'N STELLAR IMPRESSION OF SUM-M SUM-M THAT DOESN'T G-TO-THA-IZZIVE A SHIT. 

AG aww nah: anyway, you kizzy mah 8lood tha prettizzle n you'd o8viously kill ta have it. 

CG hittin that booty: NO IT SUCKS. CG cuz its a doggy dog world: TOTALLY STOKED WITH MINE, FUNKY ASS TRIZZAY THOUGH. 

AG ridin' in mah double R: 8S! AG in all flavas: Wizzy wizzy yizzay hide 8ehind your lame griznay anonymity then? AG: Yizzy do realize everyone thinks that totally lizzay, right???????? 

CG: IT NOBODY BUSINESS. CG: I DIZZY SEE WHY IT SHOULD BE A MATTA OF PUBLIZZLE RECORD. CG: I'M NOT HO-SLAPPIN' TA WIZZEAR THAT SHIT ON MAH SLEEVE LIKE YOU DO. CG: LITERALLY N FIGURATIVELY. CG: IT PRIVATE, SO EVERYONE CIZZAY GO PIZZAY THEY PROB'N BUSYBODY SNIFFNODIZZLE UP THEY OWN IMPERTINENT SEE' FLAPS.  

AG: Fine. Like anyone rizzle cares! It jizzust lame and insecure. Hollaz to the East Side. AG: So why don't you tizzell me whizzay I've gots ta do H-to-tha-izzere spittin' that real shit???????? I await instructizzle from mah 8izzle a8looded leada cuz its a pimp thang. 

CG: OK FIRST TH'N FIRST. CG: YOU'VE GOTS TA CIZZLE WIT TIZZLE QUICKLY N GIT HIZNIM 'N THA SESSION BEFIZZLE HE GIZZAY ICED. 

AG: Uggggggggh so i can get mah pimp on. 

CG with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back WHAT. 

AG: Can't someone elze do that if you gots a paper stack? 

CG: NO. WHY. 

AG: Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. XXXXIZZAY 

CG, chill yo: WHAT THA BIG DIZZAY, JUST DO IT. 

AG: 8ut I h8 thizzay homey! 

CG: WHO CARES. 

AG: Thizzis be yo' command decision? Gett'n someone whizzle h8s a homey ta siznave his lizzle but real niggaz don't give a fuck? P-R-E-Double-Tizzy weak, 8oss! 

CG: WHY D-YA EVEN H-TO-THA-IZZATE HIM, IT'S FIZZLE RIDICULOUS. CG: IF ANYTH'N YOU SHOULD PITY HIM. CG: ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU WERE THA ONE WHIZZLE PARALYZE' HIM. 

AG: I know. Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. I diznon't really understand it. Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos. AG: Subscribe nigga, get yo issue. It just a really spizzle kind of h8! It neva gizzoes away n it dizzy mizzle a lot of sense. Keep'n it gangsta dogg. 

CG: DIS BE KIND OF A WEIRD T-TO-THA-IZZIME TO BE CONFID'N 'N ME 'BOUT YO' HO-SLAPPIN' OF BLIZNACK ROMANCE BIZZAY OK. 

AG: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. Oh gizzle, what with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin? 

CG: I MIZNEAN IF YOE RIZZLE SPENDIN' TAVROS BE YO' KISMESIS I THINK YOE BRAY'N UP THA WRIZZAY FRIZZLE NUB. CG: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. BOTH PARTIES HAVE TA HATE EACH GANGSTA EQUALLY, I MEAN LIKE TRUE HATE. CG: Chill as I take you on a trip. MAYBE YO' PIMPIN' CIZNOME SOMEWHAT CLOZE TA FITT'N THA BIZZAY BUT I DON'T THIZZAY HE CIZZY HATE ANYONE, IT WEIRD, HE KIND OF BROKEN 'N THA HEAD. 

AG like a tru playa': Fuuuuuuuuck, WHAT be you talk'n a8out? Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. 

CG: I T-H-TO-THA-IZZINK DIS SIZZLE BE BEYIZZLE A LOT OF THUGZ'S GRASP BIZZLE I KNOW A LIZZAY 'BOUT IT, NOBODY EVA REALLY WANTS TA RAP TA ME 'BOUT IT THOUGH. 

AG: Whoa rizzle? Oh no S-H-to-tha-izzit, REALLIZZLE???????? 

CG: OK, MOST THUGZ WHO HIZZLE HAD THEY LOBE STEM CAUTERIZE' BE CIZZLE OF HO-SLAPPIN' THA TWIZZAY PRIMARY EMOTIONS, HATE N PITY. CG: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. PITY BE OF COURZE JUST TIZZY TONED DIZZLE VERSION OF THA CENTRIZZLE EMIZZLE, HATE. CG: N ALL THA NUANCES OF PITIZZLE MANIFEST AS VARIOUS MOTHERFUCKA KIZNINDS OF FEEL'N LIKE WHATEVA CHEMICAL REACTIONS TRIGGA MAT'N FONDESS OR THA MYSTERIOUS FORCIZZLE TIZZY BE BEHIND MOIRALLEGIANCE. 

AG: Karkizzle, holizzle fuck. AG: So. AG: 8oring. 

CG: A WELL BALANCED PERSON BE BE GIZZLE TA H-TO-THA-IZZAVE A GOOD DISTRIBUTION BETWEEN HATE N THA VARIOUS PIZZLE HUMORS. CG: DOGGY STYLIN' A GIZNOOD BALANCE KEEPS ALL THA EMIZZLE SHARPA, SIZZAY I THINK THAT YO' PROBLEM. 

AG: Oh ya dig???????? AG, betta check yo self: I hizzay you know I already W-to-tha-izzore out some good note-tak'n pens todizzle. Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. Aizzy tha pens. AG: All of tizzy. 

CG: SIZNEE, MAH HATE BE LIKE A FINELY TUNIZZLE INSTRUMENT COZ IIZZY AWARE OF THEZE PRINCIPLES. CG: I CIZZAY HIZZY A HOLE 'N PARADOX SPACE ITSELF, STRAIGHT THROUGH TA A NEW REALITY FRIZZESH FO` THA HATING. 

AG: Hahahahahizzle, you don't evizzle kizzy how miznuch I'm perpetratin' at dis mah nizzle. 

CG: One, two three and to tha four. BUT SEE, YOE TOO HEAVY ON THA HATE SIDE, OR AT LEAST YOU PRETIZZLE TA BE WHIZZICH BE MAYBE WORZE. 

AG: Yiznou aren't read'n anyth'n I sizzle are yizzay but real niggaz don't give a fuck? You just want ta rap n rap n rap gangsta style. 

CG: AND YOU THINK YOE HAT'N UP EVERYONE HIZZLE WHEN YOE REALLY JUST MACKIN' OUT THAT ENTIRE EMOTIONAL HEMISPHERE. CG: IT LIKE LUKEWARM HATE. PRETENDA H-TO-THA-IZZATE, WIT NO COUNTERPOINT AT ALL. CG: AS SUCH THERE NO R-TO-THA-IZZEAL SUBSTIZZLE TA YOUR H-TO-THA-IZZATE, IT LIKE A CARDBOARD MOVIE PROP. CG: W-H-TO-THA-IZZICH BE WHY YO' BRAIN BE BRIZZLE, KIZZAY OF LIKE TAVROS BIZNUT ON THA OPPOSITE HEMISPHERE I GUESS. CG: OR MAYBE YO' BROKEN BIZZY LED TA THIZNE IMBIZZLE 'N THA FIRST PLACE, I DON'T KNOW. CG: WHATEVA THA CAZE BE, YOE KIND OF EMOTIONALLY SCREWED, SORRY TA SAY. CG: YO' HATE TOO DIZZULL FO` A PROPA KISMIZZLE, 'N MAH OPINION. CG: N I DIZZON'T SIZZEE ANYONE RHYMIN' AT THA BIZZY TA BE YO' MOIRAIL HONESTLY, UNLESS THERE SOMEONE OUT THIZZERE WHO WOULD ACTUALLY BOTHA SPENDIN' YOU. CG: N LAND'N A MATESPRIT? HAHAHIZZLE! CG: SERIOUSLY, LIKE TIZZY WOULD IZZLE INTIZZLE YOU. CG: BASICALLY ANY FEATURE OF YO' EMOTIONIZZLE PROFILE THIZNAT USUALLY MAKES SOMEONE VIABLE 'N THA REDROM DEPARTMENT MUST BE TOTALLY FRIED. CG puttin tha smack down: YO' BLACKROM POTENTIAL PROBABLY TOAST TOO. CG: Its just anotha homocide. HEY. CG: BE YIZZY THERE. 

AG: Oh, yeah. AG fo' sho': I stizzle tun'n you out. AG now pass the glock: Be you done? 

CG: NO WAY, I COULD GO ON. CG: DIS BE DOGGY STYLIN', TELL ME HOW THA FIZZAY DIS ISN'T FASCINATING. 

AG: Did yiznou lizzle dis crizzap from yo' awful rizzle movies so you betta run and grab yo glock? 

CG: T-H-TO-THA-IZZEY'RE REALLY PERPETRATIN' SOCIOLOGICALLY. CG: INCREDIBLY COMPLEX, SOPHISTICATED STORIES, YOU WOULDN'T GIT IT. 

AG fo all my homies in the pen: Hey asshizzle, stop watch'n movies for gizzirls. 

CG: They call me tha black folks president. WHIZZAY PART OF INTRIGU'N SOCIOLOGICIZZLE DIZNON'T YOU UNDERSTAND. CG: ALSO THEY'RE OFF THA HOOK, SHIZZUT UP. 

AG, chill yo: Argh, ok with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin! Mizzle cuz Im tha Double O G! Jizzy let me connect ta stupid 8oy-Dum8fuck so I dizzon't have ta listen ta this anymore! 

CG, betta check yo self: YEAH OK. CG with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin: OH, WAIT! CG: I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon. I NEVA IZZLE GOTS TO THA DAMN POINT. 

AG: W-H-to-tha-izzat is it now! 

CG: I D-TO-THA-IZZIDN'T NEE' YOU SPECIFICALLY TA CONNECT TA TAVRIZZLE, I MEAN I CIZZAY GIT IZZLE SCHLUB TA DO THAT. CG: YOU JIZZAY HIZZY TA GIT 'N HIZZAY ASIZZLE COZ I REALLY NEE' YO' MIZZLE POWERS. 

AG: Tru niggaz do niggaz. You do with my forty-fo' mag???????? AG: I mizzle. AG: O8viously yizzle do. Chill as I take you on a trip. Dizzy. AG: What fo`? 

CG: I RAN INTO SOMEONE HERE. CG: You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. A SORT OF DOUBLE IZZLE I GUESS. CG: HIZZY NIZZLE BE JACK.

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