#or she pats him on the back too hard while hes eating the charcuterie and he a) breaks his spine and b) chokes

[scalpho]

i love colin provolone so much and i wish so badly that he ate shit and died 5 minutes in. we couldve had it all (zac oyama playing flakey smuthers)

[havethetimeofyourstyles]

part two is here! enjoy <3

wc: 3.8k

taglist | story masterlist

WARNINGS: mentions of death, anxiety, angst

part one

͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

Day two of the anniversary trip, and it’s the first full day. 

Dan and Lina had planned for everyone to enjoy the water and sun while they made lunch. You and Minny were sitting on the lawn chairs while Harry laid a towel out on the shore, laying on his stomach to get a tan in. Meanwhile, Jackson was floating in the water, letting the cool water relax him. It was a nice and peaceful day, you would say. The sun doing her thing as it shines, giving everyone some good ole Vitamin D. The sky was bright and blue, and you were thinking that it’ll be so hard to leave it. 

You were wearing a flowy and floral dress while your black two-piece bikini was under it, and you had sunglasses on your face. With packing so late, you weren’t really sure what you brought since you practically threw everything in your luggage. 

“I’m going in for a dip.” Minny says, and she gets up and strips her dress and walks over to the water. As she walks away, you admire your best friend’s body and you can’t help but think how envious you are of her. Growing up with her, you had always compared yourself to her because relatively, you thought she was prettier than you. She had always dated throughout school while you barely could get a guy to ask you to officially be his girlfriend. It was definitely a struggle for you, but that is up until you met Harry. 

You felt so loved and cared for when you were together; the ultimate power couple, you would always say, and he would agree. You wanted everything with him. But your dreams ripped from your hands the night he left.��

“Fruit, my dear?” Lina comes from right next to you and offers you a fruit bowl of strawberries, berries, and pineapples. 

“Thank, Lina.” You say as you take the bowl from her hands, and she walks over to Harry and offers him one. You see him pert up from his lying position and take it as well before he gets up fully and starts walking towards the house, towards you. 

“Mind if I sit here?” You shake your head and he takes a seat. It was silent with you two for a few minutes, but you figured, what’s new at this point with him. It’s always silent and awkward and you’re wondering if it’ll always be like this, or if you’ll actually be friends with him because afterall, you had mutual friends, practically family. 

But you knew that you were the only one stopping from the two of you from having a genuine friendship again, but it was hard enough to be around him, let alone be friends with him. 

“How’s your mom?” You ask, breaking the silence as you both chew down the delicious fruit. 

“She’s doing good, yeah. Misses you.” Harry hesitates on the last part, not knowing if he was pushing it. 

“I’m excited to see her this week. Gem as well.” You say honestly. You really had missed his family. Apart from your own and Minny’s family, Harry has been the third family you can go to, and talk to them like they’re your own. You had been pretty close with Gemma and Anne; always hanging out even without Harry, and you thought that was the best friendship; to have a relationship outside of your romantic one. 

“And yours? How is your mom? I miss her.” 

“She misses you too, but she’s okay, hanging in there. She wanted to come to this trip so badly, but her friend Lindsey, already booked the cruise and couldn’t get a refund so she had to go.” 

“The yearly cruise for…” Harry trailed off. 

“Yeah.” 

Your mom had taken a trip with your dad every year around this time, and it usually involved a cruise with their friends. Around this time 35 years ago, they had gotten together as a couple, so they always celebrate it. Ever since you and Minny met, your parents would call it ‘vacation month’ because they would go on a trip on their own, and then Lina and Dan would have their anniversary trip too, so it was a double vacation for them. 

“Here, let me get these out of the way.” Harry says as he stands up, collecting his and your bowls before going inside to wash them. 

You sit there, watching Minny and Jackson splash each other with water violently, left alone in your thoughts, and it seems like you’ve always been thinking way too hard. 

͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

Day three and four had consisted of going out for a boat ride. 

It was actually really fun. Dan was driving the boat while Harry and Jackson decided to go wakeboarding, and it ended up with Jackson wiping out pretty badly and Harry raising his arms up like it was a competition. 

“Ha! I won!” Harry says as the boys were getting back on the boat. 

“It wasn’t a competition, asshole.” Minny says and rolls her eyes, helping Jackson safely get on the boat. 

“Well, where’s the fun in that?” Harry pouts. Jackson sits down, still trying to catch his breath, and Harry sits next to him, putting an arm around his shoulder. 

You take a seat next to Jackson and pat his leg. “Are you good, Jack?” You say softly, so softly that Harry barely heard anything. You wanted to be as soft because the wipe out was pretty bad, and he could’ve seriously gotten hurt. But luckily, he was just winded and nothing else. 

“Yeah, thanks.” Jackson pats your legs back and smiles. 

You two were talking about how he got wiped out, and Jackson started explaining what had happened up until the moment he felt his grip let go of the handle because he blanked out after that. 

To the two of you, it was an innocent interaction between two friends, that are practically siblings, looking out for one another. But to the outside, meaning Harry who was the only one paying attention to you, he felt jealousy boil through his veins by how you’re looking at Jackson and being all secretive and soft with him. Talking to him so no one can hear you. His eyes turned dark, but you were too busy to notice, all your attention was on Jackson, so he got up and sat on the other side of the boat, turning away from you both. 

Dan steered the boat back to the dock as the sun was setting, so everyone could wash up and enjoy a relaxing dinner. 

You had a lot of fun. Just being by the water and on a boat with your favorite people was all you could really ask for. In times like these, you needed a reminder to surround yourself with the people you love, and you’re grateful it’s the people that are present with you at the moment. 

After the sky was getting darker, you all gathered around the table again to eat dinner. Minny made her famous lasagna and Lina baked garlic bread that no one could get enough of; it’s just that delicious. 

The seating arrangements were the same, and you were slowly getting comfortable with Harry being there. You weren’t sure if that was a good or bad thing, considering you were still iffy about him. But it didn’t stop you from being scared because you’re starting to get comfortable. You really wanted to let your guard down again, but anxiety runs through your head thinking he’ll break your heart again, even if you’re just friends with him. 

Harry wants nothing more than for you to be in his life again. He’d missed you to the fullest, and he’s bummed out that he can’t hug you whenever he wants. But although he was still a little annoyed with the moment you and Jackson had earlier (obviously not knowing what you two were talking about), he was glad you haven’t pushed him away just yet. Maybe after all, you’ll get along nicely with him after the trip. 

͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧

Day five was the day Gemma and Anne were coming, and you couldn’t be more excited. 

You had missed them dearly, and you couldn’t wait to catch up with them. You couldn’t recall the last time you hung out with them; probably when you and Harry were still together. Although, they had told you to call them if you needed anything, even after you and Harry parted ways, you still thought it was a bit awkward to find comfort in your ex’s family. There were tiny conversations that happened on text, but nothing major where you called to see them in person. 

The night before, Lina had confirmed with Harry during dinner that Anne and Gems were coming and he confirmed yes, and that they were coming in the morning. The confirmation had sent your body into nerves but excitement. It’s been so long, and you were counting down the hours where you were reunited with them. 

Waking up was easy for you. You woke up at 6 a.m, not exactly sure when they were arriving, but you wanted to prepare breakfast for them when they were coming so they could refuel from the long trip. 

You prepared enough food for the whole group. Instead of a charcuterie board, you made a breakfast board. Mini pancakes were spread around a jar of syrup, bacon placed in the corner, scrambled eggs right next to the folded ham, sausage links in the middle, and various fruits spread across the board, adding a perfect color to your presentation. 

By the time you were finished, it was hitting 8 a.m, and you were glad that you hadn't woken anyone up. The silence helped and it didn’t overwhelm your social level. Being on a trip for one week out of two had left you going to bed with anxiety because of how overwhelmed you sometimes get. 

You spoke too soon as you see Harry putting on a shirt as he walked down the stairs. You get a peek of his tanned and tattooed torso, and you turn your flustered face away from him, wondering why you’re getting hot when you’ve seen him shirtless countless of times and many times on the trip. 

“It’s dangerous to put on a shirt when you’re going down the stairs.” You say and he tiredly smiles. His morning smile made your stomach do backflips. 

“Well, I’m sorry. I’ll try to be careful next time. Was just in a hurry because I heard you in the kitchen and knew you were making breakfast.” 

“How’d you know it was me?” You tilt your head. 

“Cause Gem and Mom are coming. You always go all out when they visit.” That was very true. You sometimes go way out of hand with decorations if there was a party or cook more food than usual when they visit. It wasn’t like you were trying to kiss their ass and impress them, you just didn’t want to have to worry about anything. They were your family and you wanted to just take care of them like what a family does. “You couldn’t contain your excitement last night when I confirmed they were coming.” Busted. 

“Checking me out, Styles?” You tease. 

“Oh, you’d know.” An amused smirk fell onto his face, and you couldn’t help but blush, and also roll your eyes to contain your blush. “Excited to see them?” He changes the subject. 

“Super excited. Haven’t seen them in-” The knock on the door interrupted you, but you could care less because they were finally here. You took off your apron and Harry best you to the door, figuring you would just stay in the kitchen until he was done with his greetings. 

“Alright, where is she?” You hear Anne say and you smile so big that you might actually cry. You walk out of the kitchen and towards the yellow door. “Oh, there you are, sweetheart! Come here.” Anne greets you with open arms and a big hug. A hug you have missed and was deprived from. 

“Hey, you!” Gemma says once you’ve let go of Anne, and gives the same hug. 

“I’ve missed you both so much.” 

“Us as well, my love.” Anne kisses your cheeks, and in this moment, you could have possibly regretted not hanging out with them after the breakup. And you’re so incredibly happy that they’re on this trip, even if it’s just for 3 days. 

Harry takes in the sight of seeing his ex and his family get along so well. It’s a sight that can possibly make him cry. No one he’s ever dated had got along so well, that they’re practically family, better than you. You’ve always been the one. Always. 

Everyone eventually woke up once they heard commotion that was coming from the lower level, and excitedly said their hellos and greeted them with hugs. The group thanked you for the beautiful and delicious breakfast, and you smiled, knowing everyone was happy and full. 

“Hey.” Gemma sneaked up on Harry as he was standing outside under the hot sun. 

“Hi, Gems.” 

“You okay?” She asks in a concerning tone. 

“Yeah, why do you ask?” 

“I mean you’ve been here a week and not to mention, with your ex girlfriend.” Gemma gets straight to the point. She was worried for her baby brother. He’s gotten hurt plenty in the past, and although she knows that the situation with you is practically his fault, she hates seeing him confused and down. 

“It’s fine, honestly. It doesn’t seem like she hates me that bad right now, so it’s all good.” He says honestly. 

“You two okay?” 

“Yeah, I think so.” Gemma nods, leaving him to think to himself in silence. 

The rest of the day was peaceful as Anne had a deep catch up with Lina about what’s been going on. Gemma, Harry, and Jackson went for a swim as you and Minny sat back talking about everything and anything. 

The day had gone by smoothly and too fast for your liking as it was already nighttime and the whole group gathered around the fire pit on the patio. Blankets were draped around everyone’s legs as they watched the flames of the fire grow bigger. 

“This was probably my favorite day.” Dan says, breaking the silence from everyone’s thoughts. Everyone agrees. 

“All we’re missing is your family, love.” Lina says to you, and you only nod in agreement. “Your mom is missing and your father is dearly missed by all of us.” 

You don’t say anything, not like you want to. Your father had passed away almost a year ago from a car accident, and things haven’t been the same since. It was so sudden that obviously no one had expected it, and it shook everyone’s worlds. Things had definitely been hard for you and your mother. All you wanted was for her to be here with you, with everyone. But she was on a cruise with her friends, probably wanting to be with you as well. 

No one had said anything and it was quiet. Everyone was thinking about their own memories they had with your father, and reminiscing on the good times. 

“I always remembered when you guys would come over on Fridays,” Dan starts, “you and Minny were at school, and we would agree to pick you up all together, and then come back and have dinner. But Lina and her were always so deep in conversation that they would lose track of time. And we would always hear Jenny saying ‘go get the kids from school!’” Everyone smiled and some laughed, knowing it was a very Jenny thing to do. “Your father wouldn’t complain though; always so calm and always played his guitar. Rightful pro, I would say.” You nodded your head in agreement and smiled softly as tears have made their way known. 

The crackles of the fire were the only thing that was heard between the circle of your family. The silence and stories about your family had gotten to you, and your tears made its way down your face. No one noticed as you wiped them away. But any second, you’re going to burst into sobs and that’ll just be embarrassing, so you get up and walk inside, not telling anyone that you were leaving. You walk towards the kitchen, in case you needed an excuse as to why you left. 

“Hey, hey, hey. Why are you crying?” Harry says as he enters the kitchen. 

“I’m not.” You deny instantly and your hand wipes away your tears quickly. You grab a cup and fill it up with water. 

“Come on, talk to me.” You take a deep breath and a sip of water before admitting your feelings.

“I’m just feeling lonely.” You mumble low enough, hoping Harry wouldn’t hear, but he did. 

“Lonely? How so?” 

“I mean, I’m the one here alone.” 

“No you’re not. You have Minny’s family and my family’s here as well, so you’re definitely not alone.” He tries to lighten up the situation. 

“Yeah, but where is my family? I’m the only one here who doesn’t have my family with me. You all are surrounded by people who love you and no one-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence. You are loved by so many. You have Minny, her family, my family, me.” 

“Oh, really? You?” It was like your sadness had subsided with anger in seconds, and Harry is clueless as to what is coming for him. 

“Yes, me. Why wouldn’t I be here for you?” Harry’s brows furrowed and his mind was confused as to why your mood had switched up so quickly. 

“Because you left me!” You blurt out. “You left me out in the cold, so don’t tell me you’re here for me when you weren’t a year ago. And now I’m fucking lonely!” More tears had slid down your face, and you couldn’t control it. 

“Stop. Please. I can’t handle your hatred towards me.” He looks down in guilt and tries to reach for your hand. 

“Yeah, well, you should’ve thought about that a year ago.” You push him away and back away from him. 

“You can’t possibly hold what I did a year ago against me.” 

“Oh, but I am. It doesn’t go away that quickly.” You say sarcastically, knowing Harry hates your sarcastic voice. 

“Okay, I get it, yeah. But you’re here to have fun, alright? You’ve been sitting everywhere, wallowing in your own thoughts instead of trying to move on. Stop holding grudges for once! You’re at a place where you're surrounded by nature, something you admire, and you can’t even take a moment to look up and appreciate what’s right in front of you?” You know he’s right. Everyone with two eyes and ears knows he’s right. You’ve been so angry for so long that you want to move on, but it’s hard to. “Please. We only have a week left, so please, just stop hating me for the rest of this trip, and let’s just have some fun?” 

You sigh, shaking your head a little, completely baffled by what he’s saying. For a minute you do take it into consideration, wanting to let go of the stress and anger that has been holding you back from truly enjoying yourself. 

“Please. Let go of whatever anger you have of me and let’s have a good time here? For the remainder of the trip, let’s be friends, and you can decide if you still want me to be a part of your life after we leave here. It’s been a while since we’ve had some fun.” He says like he’s reading your mind. You’re also not sure if his last statement was meant to also be sexual, but you try not to overthink it. 

You needed to let go, you easily knew that. Everyone knew that, so you answer him, hoping you won’t regret your answer. 

“Okay.” You say with a sigh, finally giving him his wish. 

“Yeah?” He smiles, and you nod. In a second, he’s wrapping his arms around you and spinning you. You yelp as you swing your legs, telling him to put you down, and he obeys. He looks at you like he wants to say something, but instead he engulfs you in a hug again without lifting you off the ground. “Thank you.” He says softly in your ear, and you nearly have shivers down your spine, honestly missing his voice in your ear; for only you to hear. 

“Everything okay here?” Anne pops out of nowhere, and you and Harry separate from the hug, to which he frowned at. 

“Yup. Everything is good, mom.” Anne looks at you, making sure if he was telling the truth, and you nod. She smiles and grabs a cup of water, and Harry feels a bit awkward, so he smiles in your direction and you smile back before he leaves the kitchen, and gets back to the patio. 

“I’m so glad you’re here.” You say. Anne shows off her loving and contagious smile that you’ve loved the day you first met her. 

“Me too, sweetheart. Too bad we can’t stay for the remainder of the trip.” She pours slightly, resembling the same pout Harry has. It’s something you’ve always noticed, and it makes you so much more fond of her. 

“We can always plan another one. One in advance so everyone has time to take off from work.” She agreed quickly, and you both discussed some locations; talking about what certain ones are known for and when the best time to go. 

You’ve truly missed talks with Anne. She kept you so entertained by making jokes and rambling on different and random things. She was good at comforting, making you laugh if you needed it. 

“Sweetheart,” she says, once the traveling subject had died down, “I just want to say I’m proud of you. You’ve been so strong for the entirety of our friendship, and I admire that about you.” She places her hand on top of yours that is resting on the granite countertop. 

“Thank you. That means a lot to me.” 

“And just know that so many people love you. No matter what your situation is with my son, I will always love you like you’re my own. I really cherish our friendship.” A new set of tears have come to your attention, and you close your eyes, trying to calm yourself down. 

Anne takes your silence as an appreciative agreement, one where you don’t have to say words because you ultimately do agree. She steps forward and pulls you in for a hug. It’s one that you needed in times like these. Times where you were really having a rough day or week, missing your dad, and needing a warm hug from a parent. One that understands you and is always reminding you that they’re there for you. A hug that takes all your worries and insecurities away even if it’s just for a quick second. And you feel all of her love pouring into your heart as she embraces you because all you really needed was a hug. 

As she holds you tight, you’re reminded that you are so loved. 

feedback pls! 

taglist : @pradaxstyles​ @iconicharry​

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Ash/Athena AU: Unwrapping

In the Honor Bound / Daniel Michaelson’s AU with @whump-tr0pes , Danny sees Isaac for the first time since Corrine took him... and realizes what his mother did

CW: Threats of torture/noncon, nonconsensual touching (not sexual), referenced past torture and noncon. Dehumanization and pet whump.

“If you hurt him, I swear to God, Mom-”

“He’s fine.” Corrine waved one hand dismissively as she met a furious Danny in the driveway. She was already dressed for the party in a short black cocktail dress and a triple-strand of pearls resting lightly against her dark skin, black heels that she walked in with perfect grace. She looked every inch the pure power of the Michaelson group she was. “Oh, you look lovely, Daniel. You and your plaything will complement each other so well.”

Danny shifted, uncomfortable in his Syndicate suit. This one was new, and tailored to adapt to the weight he'd never regained after he came back, but part of him always felt the collar when he had to wear his suits now. Abraham and Ashley had made him wear the one he was abducted in to the parties, so that he’d look more like what he was, until someone paid extra to cut it off him while he was tied to the floor in front of all the guests cheering and screaming and he was bleeding and-

Stop. Focus on Isaac. You have to see Isaac, have to make sure he’s okay. He has to be okay.

“Mom hasn’t done anything more than get your new friend ready for the party,” Patrick said, standing beside Corrine in his own tux, salt-and-pepper hair cut close to his scalp. He leaned in to kiss Danny’s cheeks, one by one, and Danny met the kisses absently, his eyes still on his mother. “I promise.”

Patrick’s voice was low and melodic, with the same charming singsong quality that Ryan had. He and Ryan were the spitting image of each other, from the strong jaw to the sparkling amber eyes to the black curls - although Patrick’s had plenty of gray in this particular iteration of his appearance, and more than a few distinguished wrinkles besides.

“He’s got to be terrified,” Danny said, his stomach twisted in awful knots. He hadn’t been able to eat since he’d thrown up all over the floor, feeling the collar around his neck all over again after watching his mother order Isaac dragged away. 

Nate had fed him broth; it was the only thing he could keep down. 

His nerves were strung so tightly, singing with constant panic that he damped down through sheer willpower. “You could have let him stay with Nate and I last night, he-... he was probably so scared you’d, you’d kill him or something, Mom-”

“Why ever would he think I would do that?” Corrine raised an eyebrow, and when Danny just stared at her, she laughed - a soft, warm sound. “Oh, because I put a gun to his head. Honestly, Daniel. He’s fine. Mrs. Verona fed him a lovely charcuterie with cheese and fruit for dinner, plus plenty of wine. He was reluctant at first, but…” Corrine shrugged carelessly. “He came around, eventually.”

"... Did you get Isaac drunk, Mom?" Danny asked, blinking rapidly, trying to keep himself from getting angry and upset, fighting back the bite in his words.

Abraham got him drunk all the time. He was so fucking miserable and in so much pain, it was easy to just open his mouth and let it burn down his throat, lap bourbon from bowls they put on the floor while they laughed and said you like that, puppy? and then said he had to earn it-

Stop. This isn't about you. This is about Isaac. Nate has a plan. You can do this, Nate has a plan. Just pretend you want this, like you said. Just pretend you want him as a plaything.

Act like Abraham used to. You can do this. You can be like them to get him out. You can do this.

"Oh, hardly. He needed to loosen up, anyway." Corrine held her hand out to Nate as he walked up, wearing his own deep green suit, and he kissed the Michaelson family crest on the heavy ring she wore. "Any news, Nate?"

Nate nodded, straightening up and smoothing his suit jacket with his good hand. "Yes, ma'am. I m-m-may need to skip out early if m-my lead pans out. We have some r-reports - nothing c-c-conc-... Conc-... nothing that's a sure th-thing, but…"

"Of course. Go as you need to. I want them back." Corrine smiled, licking at her thumb and reaching up to wipe at Danny's cheek. 

"I'm twenty-seven, Mom, quit it," Danny said, batting her hand away, stepping back uncomfortably.

"You're twenty-eight, as of today, sweet boy. Happy birthday, Daniel." She smiled warmly, affectionately, and Danny managed a small smile in response despite the nerves still tap-dancing all over his skin. "Would you like to see your new boy? Ryan has been overseeing his final prep for tonight."

The sun was starting to set, lighting everything the peculiarly beautiful golden tinge that made the house seem faintly laced with magic. Danny used to feel comfortable here, at home.

He wondered if Isaac had thought the house was beautiful… or just hellish. Maybe they'd be alone long enough for him to tell Isaac about Nate's plan, to ask…

"Yes, Mom. I want to see him. I've…" Danny hesitated, trying to think of how Abraham would say it if he were here. He forced his voice to sound stronger, more certain, even as he felt ghostly cold fingers card through his hair, and had to hide his shiver. "I had him for five days. I didn't like having to go without. The whole point of having one to keep is that you don't, right?"

Corrine smiled at him - it was such a loving, proud smile, and it hurt Danny to see it. He had fought his whole life for their approval and pride, and had only received it after he had been held in captivity for four years. He had only seen this kind of pride now, now that his mother assumed he was done hiding from what he was and had begun to embrace it.

The thought of what she expected him to be - the very thing that he had been beaten for being, the reason people paid Abraham and Ashley money for time alone with him, for chances to hurt him - made him sick.

But it was what he was, what he’d been born - or adopted - into. Power, and control over their territory. People who did what he said, when he said it. The assumption that he would dehumanize and break down anyone he wanted if he wanted to keep them.

They wanted him to be Syndicate - but Danny’s mind had been broken and shredded alongside his body for the crime of his Syndicate name. He didn’t want to be what they accused him of being. 

He didn’t want to be what he was.

He would have given anything, in the moment he looked into his mother’s loving eyes, to have been in the car with Isaac’s team driving far away from here.

He could live with getting Isaac into the car with Isaac’s team. He had to play his part, and keep it up for a while… Nate had a plan but he had to buy Nate some time.

“Then I won’t keep him waiting on you,” Corrine said gently, reaching up to pat the side of his face. Danny stilled under the unwanted touch, but Corrine had never understood or accepted that he did not like to be touched, since he came back.

Not by anyone but Nate, or… or Isaac.

Danny swallowed.

That didn’t matter. That was ruined, too, now - like the rest of his life had been ruined and wrecked. There was no version of what he was that could not be used to break some new hope he’d had to fight so hard to feel.

Nate fell in beside him as they walked towards the house, his right hand sliding warm against Danny’s back through his suit. “It’s going to b-be okay,” Nate whispered into his ear, pressing a soft, reassuring kiss to his hair. Danny closed his eyes and nodded, fighting the heat that built there, the hint of tears.

He fought the urge to whine, to collapse, to whimper it won’t be okay, nothing will ever be okay again. He was a grown man, and he wouldn’t be weak, not today. Not when Nate needed him to play his part.

Not when Isaac needed to get out of here.

Corrine had Isaac waiting for him in a side room off from the main living area, where the party would be. There were already servants everywhere Danny looked setting up the hors d'oeuvres table, laying out the first platters of food just so, setting up the wine fountain in the corner along with the other loose bottles the guests could choose from. Danny felt trapped in a kind of terrible deja vu - this was his childhood, parties like this.

It had once felt natural.

Now, he kept searching for hooks in the floor that he would be tied down to.

Mrs. Verona popped her head out of the kitchen to wave hello to him and he bent himself nearly in half to reach her tiny height for the kiss to each cheek. His smile was more natural, for her, and the tiny ageless woman’s face was a starburst of cheerful wrinkles as she pinched his cheek, just lightly. “Your young man,” She said softly, “Could use a bit of reassurance, I think.”

“Couldn’t we all,” Danny whispered back, and she winked at him.

“Reassurance and fresh air. But he’ll have plenty of air later on, won’t he?”

Danny straightened, turning to look at Nate, who gave him a perfectly innocent, beatific smile in return. Mrs. Verona is part of the plan? Nate only shrugged and kept him moving through the room, Corrine ahead of them and none the wiser. Patrick veered off to speak with some of the guards, giving them their positions along the walls.

“So many guards,” Danny whispered.

“They’re w-w-worried Isaac will r-r-run, or his t-team will try to come b-back for him,” Nate murmured, keeping a hand on his back. Danny forced a false smile, pretending he was just enjoying the gentle affection, that they were just murmuring the sorts of things to each other they might normally say, on a night like this.

“Will they? Do they… do they know the plan?”

“Some. I t-t-told them where to w-wait, and when I’ll g-get him back to th-them. We have to hope they t-t-trust me. If they c-come on their own…” Nate frowned, picking up a little shrimp puff off the food table as they passed, ignoring the glare from one of the servants in return as he popped it into his mouth. “They’ll be slaughtered, and w-we can’t stop that.”

“They can’t be killed, or hurt,” Danny said, insistently. “We have to get them out. They trusted us, they were so nice to us, Isaac-” His voice broke, his whisper cracking apart, and he swallowed back the guilt that might eat him alive. “Isaac trusted me.”

“I know. I’m s-s-sorry it happened this w-way. But maybe w-we can make it up to him,” Nate said gently, reaching up to push back a bit of wavy red hair. It made Danny think of Isaac, tucking a little bit of hair behind his ear before the first time they kissed-

His knees buckled, just a little, and Nate effortlessly caught him around the waist.

Corrine glanced back over her shoulder, and saw only Nate nuzzling into Danny’s neck, whispering into his ear - a soft, shy smile on Danny’s face. She smiled to see them together, with a warm maternal affection.

Her eyes flashed a brilliant purple before she turned back to walk into the other room. “He’s in here with Ryan, darling,” Corrine called, and Danny took a deep breath, lifted his chin, and walked into the formal dining room to see Isaac.

Danny came to a stop in the doorway, staring at his first view of Isaac since yesterday, as his heart… snapped. It was the only word for the sensation he felt, pulled tense until he broke at the sight of a man who had trusted him with himself and his scars and who had been betrayed in return.

Isaac looked gorgeous.

And terrified.

He was standing with a guard on either side of him, his hair neatly combed and shining clean, hands folded in front of himself, eyes on the floor, his chin bent nearly to his collarbone. He wore a perfectly tailored suit that was so close to Danny’s, and Danny had sort of wondered what Isaac might look like all dressed up (or more accurately, how it would feel to see him dressed up and peel that clothing off him piece by piece), and now he knew.

Ryan was standing against the wall, arms folded, with a face like a stormcloud. “Say hello,” Ryan said, his voice oddly harsh and grating, and Danny’s head jerked to the side only to see Ryan’s eyes glowing a light yellow in the dim dining room light. Ryan wasn’t enjoying this - he was angry about it. “Danny, fair warning, you’re not going to like-”

There was a sharp intake of breath from Nate standing next to him, and Danny turned to look at Isaac again. He’d looked up, to meet Danny’s eyes with him, and his mouth - God, that mouth - was stretched in a tremulous, frightened smile.

There was a thick band of black around his neck, and when Danny’s mind allowed him to understand what he saw, he felt the collar wrap around his own neck, too, the constriction that dug into his skin and rubbed it raw and bloody over and over until the scars made the skin too rough to break so easily again.

Then he saw the reddened fresh brand - the M with its intertwining vines - on the side of Isaac’s neck.

“Oh,” Danny said softly. Fury came instantly, a fire he couldn’t even vocalize around, burning him too deeply to speak the words. He barely managed a whisper. “Mom… y-you, you put… you said you, you wouldn’t-”

“I know, darling, and I’m sorry,” Corrine said, with a tone that suggested she absolutely wasn’t. “And it won’t be for long. But we had to ensure he would be on his best behavior for your birthday party, and I knew you wouldn’t want to lead him. Isaac has promised to be very good for us tonight, hasn’t he?”

She shot a look at Isaac, and Danny watched him look at her with open fear before looking back to Danny and quickly nodding. “Y-Yes, I, I can… I won’t, won’t try anything.” Isaac’s voice shook so hard his words were barely speech at all, and Danny wanted nothing more than to walk across the room and rip the fucking collar off his neck.

He settled for being able to do one of those things.

He stepped forward, feeling like he was floating on numb legs, and moved up to Isaac - who cringed away and then caught himself when Corrine’s eyes cut at him again. Danny reached up to put a hand to either side of his face, and looked into Isaac’s frightened eyes. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, just for him.

“Y-you didn’t have to do this to me,” Isaac all but whimpered, and Danny’s heart ached, a nearly physical pain he could feel slowly radiating out, right to the palms and the fingertips that touched a man he would never, ever have wanted to hurt. “You didn’t have to-”

“Stop mewling,” Corrine snapped, and Isaac’s mouth shut all at once with a click.

“Wh-why did you brand him?” Danny asked, and bit back the wail to turn his words into something closer to anger than the grief he felt welling up inside. With a brand, Isaac wouldn’t be safe. Everywhere he went, even if they got him out of here, everyone would know he was a Michaelson plaything. 

Everywhere he went, they’d think he could be tortured for Michaelson intel or sold back to them for a reward. Even with Nate's plan, it was a matter of time before Isaac was sold back to them, back into Danny's bed at best or Corrine's tortures at worst. He couldn't hide it, or forget it.

Corrine had trapped him in the lie Danny had told to save his life.

He glanced sidelong at Nate, who was looking at it, too, with that empty stillness he was so skilled at. He met Danny's gaze and gave him a small smile. "Just as l-l-lovely as y, yesterday,"

The plan is still going. Don't falter. Stay strong. Danny knows how to read the words Nate doesn't say.

Danny shook his head, trying to say with his eyes what he couldn’t say in front of his mother, not and have any hope to keep up the charade, to get Nate the time he needed to get his plan in motion. He couldn’t say it if he wanted any chance of getting Isaac out of here. “You’re beautiful,” He said instead, and his voice stayed even, and strong.

Oh, puppy, you look beautiful tonight. Let’s take a ‘Before’ photo, the guys coming over really don’t like your fucking family. Bet you give me one hell of an ‘After’ later on, huh? Smile for the camera, Red.

“You’re beautiful,” Danny repeated, and Isaac closed his eyes, lowering his chin again, shivering under Danny’s touch.

“Thank you,” Isaac whispered.

He hates me, Danny thought, and felt guilt crash into him like a wave. He’ll hate me now, forever. I just wanted… “Take the collar off,” Danny said in a low voice, without looking away from Isaac’s face. “Take it off. He’s already branded, you don’t need to collar him, too!”

“Not an option,” Corrine said lightly. “He will stay in line better with it on.”

“Mom, I said take it off, he doesn’t need a collar to control him!” Danny let go of Isaac and turned to face down his mother, but even glaring down at her and towering over her much smaller frame, he knew he wouldn’t win this one just from the way her jaw set, ever so slightly, and her eyes lit up.

“I am the matriarch of this family, Daniel Michaelson,” Corrine said firmly, a warning edging her voice. "You are my son and you will show me the respect I am due.”

“Mom.” Danny fought to calm himself. “I… I like the suit, you, you did a good job, but I can’t… I can’t, not with him wearing that! Not with our mark on him!”

“I told you not to do it, Mom,” Ryan growled from the wall. He was glaring at the guards on either side of Isaac, and they shifted uncomfortably under his glowing yellow gaze. “You know he hates this shit. You know it. Branding people is all your generation, we don’t fucking brand people anymore!”

“Don’t act like you’re any better.” Danny glared at his younger brother, usually wide blue eyes narrowed to furious slits. “You wanted to do the same fucking thing to him!”

“No, I didn’t!” Ryan snapped back. “I wanted to make you happy and having him stay is one thing, but I wouldn’t have stuck my fucking ring on his neck! I’m a Michaelson just like you, but I’m not a Michaelson like that and this fucking dog-and-pony-show pisses me off just as much!”

“Don’t say ‘dog’,” Danny whispered, feeling blood drain from his face.

Some of the anger left Ryan, and his eyes went back to their usual honeyed yellow. “I’m sorry,” Ryan said, sincerely, putting both hands up in the air. “I’m sorry, Dan. I didn’t-... I didn’t think.” He swallowed, hard. “You, you know that I wouldn’t…”

“No, I know, I just-... shit, fucking hell, Mom, you can’t do this to him!” Danny spun back to his mother, who watched him evenly, with one eyebrow raised.

“Do you want him like you said to me yesterday, or not?” Corrine asked, her voice very low. “Darling, did you lie to me, yesterday? I would be very disappointed with you and upset if you lied to me.”

“I… I didn’t. I didn’t, Mom, I definitely want him,” Danny said, swallowing hard, trying consciously to calm himself even as his hands began to shake. Be Abraham, be Abraham, be Abraham. “He’s fucking gorgeous, and nobody else should get to enjoy the, um, the-the sounds he makes but me.”

“Oh, fuck,” Isaac said, his face somewhere between ash-pale and greenish around the edges. “Oh, fuck no-”

“What did I tell you about language, Isaac?” Corrine said coldly, and Isaac flinched, jerking his eyes back to the floor.

“S-sorry,” Isaac whispered. “I’ll be good.”

Danny’s eyes widened. “What… what did you tell him about language? Is he… did you-... punish him?!”

“Not really. He has agreed to abide by the rules for tonight’s engagement. If he behaves for you, darling, he won’t have to wear it again. The decision is made and my decisions are final.” Corrine clapped her hands together. “If he is not acceptable exactly as he is, perhaps we will simply declare this whole thing a loss and move him to my basement-”

“No!” Danny and Isaac shouted at the same time - one with rage and one with terror.

“God damn it, Mom!” Ryan joined in. The impassive expressions on the faces of Isaac’s guards never changed, and the soft bustle of servants never ceased. This wasn’t the first Michaelson fight any of them had witnessed, and it would almost certainly not be the last. “Don’t fucking threaten to torture Danny’s new man right in front of him!”

“Right in front of Daniel, or the plaything?” Corrine asked, with a hint of a smile that suggested she thought the question very funny.

Ryan rolled his eyes and pushed himself away from the wall. “I’ve read Danny, Mom. He wants Isaac. That’s the honest truth. Come on, give them a minute before the guests arrive.” There was a pause, and then Ryan said, “Nate, you’re with me for now.”

Nate frowned, eyes narrowing. “M-Michaelson, I’ve said it b-b-before, I don’t w-work for you-”

“For right now, you do. I need to talk to you about this tip you’ve got on the runaways.” Ryan and Nate met eyes for a second, and Danny could feel the tension in the room rising, the way the two men always sparked against each other unpleasantly whenever they interacted directly. “I want to know what information you have on them, Vandrum.”

“Not your b-b-business, Michaelson.”

More silence, and Ryan said in a tone of deadly certainty, “I am making it my business, Nathaniel. So get your ass with me or nothing goes the way you want it to go tonight.”

“Wh-what the fuck does that mean?”

Ryan smirked. “I think you know what it means.” They stared at each other for a few more long, drawn-out, tense moments.

“Go on, Nate,” Corrine waved one hand dismissively, already moving back towards the doorway. “Go with Ryan. Daniel will speak with his plaything privately. Guests will be arriving soon and they really should get a bit of time together.” She smiled over her shoulder at Danny. “I know you’re angry at me for this, darling, but please… it’s your birthday. Be good to the guests. This gorgeous boy is your gift.”

“I could never ask for an… anything better,” Danny replied, mostly honestly, watching Nate's back longingly as he left walking behind Ryan with his annoyance and anger all but radiating off of him. Danny's voice was thin but he covered it, he thought, as well as he could. Fury still boiled under the surface, the temper he’d once had that Abraham and Ashley had broken and beaten and bashed out of him day by day. “Thank you… thank you, Mom. He’s a wonderful birthday present.”

“You’re very welcome, dear.” Corrine smiled. “Oh, and plaything…” Isaac slowly raised his eyes, not quite meeting hers, cringing slightly back against the dining room table. “That’s good. Learning to keep your eyes down when speaking to your betters. I want you to look right at this.” She held up a small rectangular disk with a few buttons and a dial on it, waggling it back and forth in her hands. “You will behave.”

“I will,” Isaac whispered, staring at the thing in Corrine’s hands with pure fear written across his face. “I will. I’ll behave.”

“Good. Bring your new toy out in about… oh, ten minutes or so, Daniel. The first guests should arrive right about then, and I’ll want you and the plaything in the receiving line to greet them. Everyone should get a good long look at my baby boy coming back to himself, finally, after all that’s happened. We’re a strong family, Daniel. I need you to be my strong son tonight.”

“Of course, Mom,” Danny said, nodding quickly, shifting himself minutely so he was blocking Isaac from Corrine’s direct gaze.

“Family first, Daniel,” Corrine said firmly. “Never forget that. We are Michaelsons first.”

“Michaelsons, first,” Danny agreed, readily enough. He met his mother’s cool, appraising eyes, and kept his face calm even as the muzzle scars ached, phantom pains and fire that wrapped around his face and made it hard for him to force his jaw open enough to speak.

There is no life before-

“Perfect. I’m sorry about the collar, darling, but it really is necessary. Just for tonight. You can take it off him before you take him home.” Corrine gave him her warmest, most loving smile, and he managed one, although thin and small, in return.

He held it until she was gone.

With the two guards still standing at Isaac’s elbows, Danny didn’t dare drop the act, or tell Isaac about the plan. That there was one, that he wouldn’t have to live this way, that Danny and Nate were going to get him out of here tonight.

He couldn’t tell him anything.

All he could do was step up, and take Isaac’s hands in his - the other man’s fingers felt freezing cold. Danny’s fingers were rough and numbed from his years with the mercenaries, but he held Isaac’s hands slowly up, rubbing gently at them, trying to warm them. “I’m so sorry,” He whispered, lips grazing Isaac’s knuckles.

Isaac jerked, like he would try and pull away, but stopped himself, staring at Danny with wide, frightened eyes. The thick black ring around his neck made Danny feel dizzily sick, and he tried not to see it, not to look. “Please don’t do this,” Isaac said back, weakly.

“I know, I know. It’s… it’s not all night,” Danny said, pulling Isaac to him. He couldn’t tell him. He couldn’t say a fucking thing to actually make him feel better. Not even a real hint. All he could do was put his arms around the other man, feel Isaac stiff and tense and frightened but apparently threatened too well by Danny’s mother to pull away. “It’s not, um, not for the whole night, Isaac. I promise. It’s… just a little while.”

Just a little while before I can save you.

Just a little while before we get you out of here.

Nate has a plan.

I wish I could tell you.

Isaac’s head dropped slowly onto Danny’s shoulder, half-collapsed against him. He’d dropped his head like this after the third time, Danny thought, swallowing against a rush of guilt and worry. Dropped his head on Danny's shoulder but from behind him, laughing, whispering nonsense in Danny's ear until it tickled and he laughed and tried to wriggle away-

Stop thinking about it, she ruined it, you'll never have anyone like him ever again. No one but Nate, not ever, no one she'll see or know about. Don't even look at anyone else ever again.

He couldn’t come back from what his mother had done, what Isaac had heard him say, just to save him.

“Please let me go,” Isaac said into the skin of Danny’s neck, and there was a sense of dampness - tears against his Syndicate suit. “Please, please just let me go-”

I’m going to.

“I can’t,” Danny murmured into Isaac’s hair, pressing a kiss there. Isaac was shaking, and Danny rubbed at his back with one hand, staring at the wall on the other side of the room, trying to think. There was nothing he could do to warn Isaac that the guards wouldn’t pick up on. There was nothing to do but let Isaac think this was real right up until Nate gave him the signal. “By tomorrow, it’ll be better,” Danny said softly, kissing into his hair again. The guards were staring - Danny could feel their eyes, and he slid his hand up to tip Isaac’s jaw, tilting his head back up, to look right into his eyes and press a soft kiss to trembling lips. “By tomorrow, you won’t have to wear that collar again.”

“I don’t want this, Danny. I don’t… I don’t want this. I don’t want to be this.”

“Ssssshhhh, I know, I know.” Danny kissed at the damp tear tracks on his cheeks, at his forehead. He tilted his head to look at the brand on Isaac’s neck, watched the other man clench his eyes shut under the scrutiny. “I’m sorry she… hurt your neck, and put that on you. I would, would never have wanted-”

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you just… ask?” Isaac asked, pulling back just to look into Danny’s eyes. “How can you do this to me, after… after what happened to you? Why didn’t you just ask me to stay?”

It was Danny’s turn to drop his eyes and look away. If he looked into Isaac’s eyes a single second longer, he wouldn’t be able to keep up the act, he’d just tell him and the guards would hear and it would… all be over. Corrine would drag Isaac into the basement, torture him for information, Danny couldn’t keep him safe from that…

“Didn’t know it was, um, an option,” He muttered, and pulled back. “Come on, Isaac. Let’s go get in the line for guests.” He pulled Isaac with him, the two guards right behind them, and he kept his hand resting lightly against Isaac’s back the way that Nate would have done for him. 

Isaac didn’t lean in or pull away - he walked with slow, purposeful footsteps, and kept his eyes miserably on the floor in front of him.

I’m going to save you, Danny tried to think as loudly as he could. Nate and I are going to get you out of here, and we’ll save you, and you’ll be free and safe and far away from me.

Out loud, all he could do was lean in and say, gently, “You won’t have to stay at the party for very long.” 

The way Isaac turned red and closed his eyes against tears told Danny that the words weren’t reassuring at all.

[ninzied]

north/south

she doesn’t cry.

a pepperony/stark family fic. spoilers for endgame.

She doesn’t cry.

Pepper knows it’s to be expected. That she doesn’t understand; that she can’t understand, that she doesn’t know how. But there’s no comfort to be found in the things that are expected, when there’s nothing expected about any of this.

She doesn’t cry. She eats the food, or she at least picks at the food, poking the grapes around on her plate, and pouting at the “weird stuff” she doesn’t like, arugula in the salad, and “the hard bread” that she ends up licking all the toppings off of.

She is her father’s daughter, through and through.

There are sliders, but they didn’t come with any cheese, so Happy swipes some cheddar off the charcuterie board, stabs a toothpick back through each one and heats them up in the microwave for her.

She asks for ketchup, and Happy looks lost for a moment until Butterfingers unearths some packets from underneath papers at Tony’s work station.

“We have no idea how long those have been there,” Pepper starts to scold them both, but the anticipation on Morgan’s face – and Happy’s, too, really, even the robot is tilting its little makeshift head at her – suffice it to say she doesn’t go anywhere with the rest of that sentence.

It wedges a small crack in her heart, but only a small one, when Morgan takes her plate of small cheeseburgers and plops herself down on the couch by the fire. Only the smallest of cracks. There isn’t much left that hasn’t already been broken.

Morgan sits and looks around her, expectant. She’s waiting for something, and Happy’s trying his best to figure out what, when Pepper gestures at the table. The mask isn’t there anymore – it’s been replaced by the food, and a very somber Nick Fury who’s deep in discussion with Miss Danvers – but this is the last place Morgan had seen her father.

And it would certainly stand to a four-year-old’s reasoning that this is the first place he’ll come looking for her again. She just has to wait long enough.

Morgan turns to Happy with her untouched plate and says, “I thought you said Daddy liked cheeseburgers too.”

Happy’s face falls, and he’s rushing forward to do damage control while Pepper – Pepper’s just trying to breathe, because it’s hard suddenly, when her chest feels like it’s turned to ice. It was ridiculous to think that she was done breaking after all.

She remembers, at least, how to take one step, then two. In fact, she makes it all the way to the bookcase before completely falling apart.

…

Their life together is on those shelves. Pictures of Morgan, mostly. First breath. First coo. First sneeze, because that was not a battle that Pepper found worth fighting with Tony. First steps, first bite of cake at each of their birthdays. Chocolate for Morgan. Red velvet for Pepper. Anything topped with a disgusting amount of sprinkles for Tony.

Then there were the drawings of them with matching shrapnel hearts that glowed, Pepper’s on a necklace, Morgan with her little bracelets. Multiplication tables that Tony had proudly framed even though all of the 3’s were written insistently backwards. Crayon portraits of dogs that Pepper always said no to.

She should have let them have a dog.

But it’s not any of these things that shatters that last piece of her left still standing.

She’s always aimed for cleanliness, but living with a child – make that two, on most days – was not exactly conducive to keeping a place tidy for long.

There are toys scattered here and there, stuffed animals and small handheld robots that were ostensibly made to help with the chores but more often than not got caught up in turf wars with the lions, not to mention one very nefarious hedgehog.

The hedgehog had been borne of a so-called math project of theirs. They’d repurposed a coconut plushy, and then proceeded to cover every inch of it with Pepper’s hot glue gun, bits of fabric, and hair – hair from Morgan’s toy trolls, her Raggedy Ann dolls, and the My Little Ponys that Bruce had sent her one year for Christmas.

They’d completed the look by jamming in colored paper clips for paws, and adding on black button eyes as an after-thought.

It looks – well, it looks like a little monster, quite frankly, but Morgan adores it, and so had Tony. He’d been beside himself with delight when she christened it “Hairy Ball” – Harry for short, at Pepper’s insistence.

…

(“I…don’t understand this, but I suppose I will have to accept it.”

“Potts, it’s the hairy ball theorem,” said Tony, with Morgan giggling away in his ear as he hoisted her higher and higher. “Simple topology. Take an even-dimensional sphere, and any continuous tangent vector field must have at least one point on the sphere where the vector equals zero.”

“I’m sure it does, Tony.”

“In essence, if you try to comb a hairy ball flat, there’s always going to be that one stubborn tuft that sticks out.”

“I see,” said Pepper, entirely humoring them. “And this is useful because…?”

“Because it’s funny,” said Morgan, kissing her hedgehog in the middle of its lumpy forehead.

“Because it’s funny,” Tony had echoed, like no other explanation mattered more than this one, and they shook their heads at each other with perfectly matching affronted expressions.)

…

Harry the hedgehog is squashed beneath a teetering bookstack, its felt-tipped nose poking out from behind a textbook on origami.

Pepper bends down as if on autopilot, straightening things and dusting down the edge of the shelf. There’s a rectangular clearing where PROOF THAT TONY STARK HAS A HEART had so recently occupied space.

She sinks onto her knees for a moment, the hedgehog’s paws pressing into her fingers. One of the seams has ripped in the body of the fabric, spilling out stray wisps of cotton, and when she runs her palm over its patchwork of hair, smoothing out some of the tangles, its nose perks up as though trying to sniff at her hand.

…

(“Look, Mommy,” Morgan demonstrated for her, vigorously brushing back as much hedgehog hair as she could. “It’s sticking up here – and see, here – also here—”

“I have an idea where you can try that theory out next,” Pepper winked, much to Morgan’s slyly growing delight.

“Like…Daddy’s head?”

“No, sweetheart,” and their little girl giggled again as Tony looked at them both in mock betrayal, “not like Daddy’s head.”)

…

One of the paper clips comes loose, dangling uselessly before slipping between Pepper’s fingers. She watches it fall, blurring together with the rug at her feet.

Her shoulders shake, and then they’re only shaking harder as she folds herself up, as small and still as she can make her body so that Morgan doesn’t see her cry.

Grief surges up from every corner, so cold it burns everywhere that it touches, and just when she thinks she has nothing left it comes crashing out of all that nowhere again, drowning, drowning, if only it would just let her fucking drown.

…

(“That little guy can help predict the weather too, you know.”

“Oh, not that hedgehog theory again.”

“Theorem, Potts. Theorem. And hear me out – you’re looking particularly ravishing today, by the way—”

She rolled her eyes good-naturedly, but he kissed her neck and it made her feel so very warm all the same.

“—so Earth’s atmosphere, right? A spherical surface.” He took her face into his hands. “Let’s say there’s a storm brewing, blowing its wind east to west. There are – guaranteed – at least two spots where everything stands perfectly still. There is no wind.” Tony leaned in to kiss her forehead. “Here.” He tipped his head down to hover his mouth over hers as she smiled. “And here, too.”)

…

Pepper’s lost him so many times, but he always found his way back to her in the end. This time shouldn’t have been any different.

This time shouldn’t have been any different.

Everything’s quiet. The music has stopped, even the clinking of silverware, plates, all the small talk. Maybe she’s imagined it, but she can’t hear anything else beyond the soft raggedness of each breath as it shakes its way in and out of her body.

“Mrs. Stark?” A voice, sounding more distant than it probably is, and then a light awkward tapping on her shoulder. “I mean, Miss Potts. Mi—umm.” Peter Parker clears his throat, and she blinks, blinks, blinks until the hand he’s held out to her comes into focus. “I think you dropped this.”

She takes the paper clip, and manages a watery chuckle when Peter moves his other arm around, into her line of sight, and Morgan’s at the other end of it, holding on to his wrist. There’s a smear of ketchup on her chin, and Happy close behind her, a crumpled up napkin in hand.

“Oh, my darling girl.”

Pepper opens her arms, and Morgan climbs onto her lap, tiny hands already hard at work to wipe away the wetness on her cheeks. Her fingers dance over the smile that Pepper musters for her, and then Harry’s face pops back into view, Morgan carefully lifting him up to give Pepper a fuzzy little kiss on the nose.

“I miss Daddy.” Morgan’s voice is so small – the smallest, most powerful sound that Pepper has ever heard, but now’s not the time for her to break anymore.

“I know.” Pepper tucks her hair back, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Morgan burrows closer, the weight of her settling like a permanent warmth into Pepper’s chest. “I miss him too.”

“He’s really not coming back?” She’s cradling Harry, touching the open seamful of cotton with unsteady fingers.

“No, sweetie. But he loved you so, so much.”

Peter’s furiously rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, and Pepper beckons him over, patting the spot of rug next to them. He looks uncertain, but it doesn’t last long before he’s collapsing himself down, shoulders quaking as she puts her arm around him too.

Morgan sniffles into her neck, her whole body tightening as though trying to resist all this sadness she still doesn’t know what to do with, how to make it go away. Pepper murmurs soothing things in her hair, and then she closes her eyes, if only for a few blessed seconds, so that the world can stop spinning and just give her daughter a moment to cry.

It almost hurts, not to let herself cry with her.

“Hey, Miss Pepper?” says Peter, after a while. He’s dabbing his nose with a clean handkerchief that his Aunt May has just brought him. He points at the hedgehog, its missing paw still clutched in her hand. “What is…that?”

Morgan pipes up, before Pepper has a chance to say otherwise, “This is Hairy Ball.” The words come out a bit gargly and hoarse, but she straightens a little, looking pleased that someone is asking.

Happy coughs out a laugh into his hand. At the edge of Pepper’s vision, she sees Nick still over by the food, his one good eyebrow nearly shooting right off of his forehead.

Peter, meanwhile, looks simply floored. “As in the theorem? Cool.”

“See, Mommy?” Morgan wipes at her eyes, and graciously passes the hedgehog over for Peter’s perusal. “Daddy and I told you.”

“You most certainly did.” Pepper leans back as Morgan points out all of Harry’s features, Peter following raptly along and nodding his head at all the right moments. That crack in her chest opens just a bit wider, leaving a hitch in her breath that aches, and aches, and aches.

Her eyes are burning again.

But it’s okay, Pepper thinks, because there’s no other option. She’d made a promise to Tony that they were going to be okay. She has to believe it will look different from this, someday, but for now—

For now, they can take turns standing still.

[ao3.]