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theafterglow83 · 5 months

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Stray thoughts from an unhinged mind caused by a song called Robin

Since my teens, I have always been a Karlie Kloss fan. No amount of vitriol from the Swifty’s has ever strayed or strained my conviction that Karlie is on many levels, and aside from being absolutely gorgeous, a better human being than Taylor Swift.

By that I mean she seems to project a warmth and a level of kindness and humanity out into the world that is so pure and honest, when compared to Taylors, sometimes vengeful and darker persona ~as well as her being Queen Mother to one of the worlds most vindictive and exhausting cults who would gladly fillet anyone at “Mother’s “ request. Taylor (the brand) has made a career and a fortune from feeding her tales of romantic misfortune and presumed ex lovers to her hungry mob with merchandise to match.

Karlie on the other hand has a nurturing and supportive side to her and don’t let her beautiful and seductive exterior fool you for below that sultry surface she gives off a warm and fuzzy golden vibe- like a puppy. She’s sophisticated, highly intelligent, NYC chic and street smart , often silly and maturing like fine wine while somehow becoming more beautiful as she ages. She also appears to be one Hell of a good mother to those babies.

All that being said about their personalities is exactly why I believe Karlie’s sunshine is the perfect match for Taylor and her moody, broken, impulsive ,often over indulgent, midnight rain personality. Not only are they equal in status - they have a Yin Yang balance to them - Only that sunshine can dry up the rain in Taylor .

I’ll continue.

While listening to songs off of the TTPD I was stopped dead in my tracks when I came to the song, Robin. I listened three times and found a tear rolling down my right cheek. I was choked up and the tiny hairs on my arms stood up . To say I was moved would be an understatement. There was something so raw, so pure and so loving in those lyrics. I had to sit with my thoughts for a while but I feel the need to share them now among those who i consider “my people”.

The Kaylors.

Sidebar confession: Yes, I’m a Kaylor.

I firmly believe Taylor Swift, and Karlie Kloss had a long running romantic relationship. They were more than friends. They were lovers too. The level of denial it takes to doubt that is astonishing. It wasn’t just Kissgate that sealed the deal. It’s the way those two looked at each other and communicated in a secret language all their own. They were deeply in love.

I believe it all started prior to the public meet up at the VS Fashion Show and even long before the “your kitchen or mine cookie “tweet.

I believe Taylor and Karlie first met when Taylor was showing up at fashion shows that Karlie was walking in as far back as 2009. Where they had a relationship then? Probably not because they were both involved with others but the sparks were flying. Thats when the foundation was laid. The attraction was there. The seeds planted. Destiny and the Universe did the rest.

Think Love Story lyrics

“We were both young when I first saw you” which I believe Taylor wrote about Karlie and which also happens to be Karlies favorite song. I believe they had an ongoing relationship that continued on until late 2017-early 2018 and then I believe something happened and they broke up, as many long-term relationships often do. My guts tell me it was cheating and it was on Taylor’s part and the regret from that will haunt Taylor for her entire life because it caused the trajectory of their path to change.

Karlie married in 2018 yet many speculate they were still together and the unofficial story is the real trouble actually came in mid 2019.

Taylor was furious over the masters, fingers were pointing everywhere, cheating rumors flew. This entire story certainly has all the drama of a Netflix series that could easily do 8 seasons

There’s so much more to this Masters incident than the public is aware of. Also the fact that Josh’s families company ~ the Carlisle Group provided the funding to Scooter is an often overlooked storyline.

Was Taylor angry at Karlie for that but how could Karlie control that if she was even in that loop of that drama. Or~ was there more -because in any good mystery - there’s always several layers more .

What did Scooter have to leverage getting that kind of money from them to buy the masters? Being Karlie’s manager at the time perhaps he has something on her or Taylor or both of them and used it as that leverage . It’s a whole other rabbit hole that I don’t have time to visit right now but regardless Taylor is still angry about to this very day which tells me it goes way deeper and my gut feeling is that Taylor’s dad was the one involved with knowing things and not Karlie Kloss who got fed to the sharks over the situation.

So I’m going on record here saying I never believed Karlie had anything to do with Masters Heist. I believe that story was used as an explanation to explain their separation. I know there’s a whole other level of messy lore involving this and a love blackout and Trumps election and Karlie’s association with the Kushner’s but I’m going to skip over that season and move on -except to say that it was absolutely shameful the level of hate Karlie was forced to endure because of that and still her sun shinned while she was being made the villain online and much of it still continues to this day. At any point during that scandal Karlie could have spoken out but she didn’t. She quietly took one for the team.

I’m not going to pretend that I know what happened during that murky period or what is happening now - because honestly -I do not…but there have been a strange set clues and way too many “koincidences to simply chalk up to being coincidences.

It’s just a gut feeling but I also don’t believe their connection went fully went away or ever will for that matter. They are and will forever be tied together even in the times they are apart but I kinda think they reunited ( again) in early to mid 2020.

I’ve read all the theories. I’ve heard all the rumors ,I’ve been to the rabbit hole, I’ve climbed out, I’ve fallen back in, and most days now you’ll find me sitting on the edge dangling my feet still and kinda wondering. I live my life ~ they live theirs.

So am I a LSK?

No, not really, but some days …ok, maybe. You see for as much as I try to say no…there’s just this tiny string I can’t help but see so I keep my feet planted on the ground but my mind open.

By open I mean open to the possibility that Taylor and Karlie are in one of those kind of “relationships” where as hard as they try ~they just can’t seem to quit each other and they go through periods of on and off times. “pauses” is what I like to call the brakes or bumps along the way. You know that couple that’s over but they’re never really over ?

Where are they now? I have no idea.

Taylor has another year of touring and promoting and probably Travis. My money says Taylor Swift will be the halftime show at next years Super Bowl.

Karlie, along with her modeling contacts ( Carolina Herrera, Estée Lauder, Donna Karen etc ) is venturing into the business world. Along with running Kode with Klossy, she’s CEO of her newly formed media company. She bought I-D magazine and also Life magazine, which Josh also invested in , this year. She’s got a lot on her plate

Yes, Karlie is married but is she really married in the traditional sense of what we all consider marriage to be? On the surface, yes… but once again- the layers and the lore here is incredible.

What a character she’d be on that Netflix show I imagine in my head . Just give her an Emmy already.

Does she love Josh? I’m absolutely sure she does- but the real question is…is she IN love with Josh? You know- romantic love -which, I as an observer ~don’t believe she is or ever has been. You can just kinda tell and no matter how many pictures she posts the connection just isn’t there and whenever I see her with her beautiful babies (even if he’s in the photo) she gives off that “ single mother vibe “

That level of chemistry, no matter how the pictures are posed~ or the hand in hand walks are staged -the passion ~ the look in their eyes - it just isn’t there and honestly it never was.

They have always given off that bff energy and frankly ~ Karlie’s friendship with her “big brother “ Derek actually feels more real, relaxed and genuine.Then there are the gay rumors ( past and present) surrounding their entire little multiverse ~but we won’t go into them right now either. We’d be here all night.

And yes, Taylor has had her share of public relationships but have they been real? Have they had their moments? probably. Did some become more than PR for a brief period of time. Possibly She’s been linked to everyone she even walks by or talks to but somehow it all pales and fades in time. I’m sure there have been flings along the way but flings don’t fly and usually run their course in that 9 1/2 week period that flings seem to take.

If I’m being honest, as I observe from the treetops all of Taylor’s relationships and Karlies relationship with Josh, they never reach the level of the real connection and happiness that I saw between Taylor and Karlie. That’s something you just can’t fake or reproduce with another .

Whatever is going on with Travis is so cringey and sadly embarrassing.I tend to think it’s PR but if it’s real then he truly is her obnoxious karma and karma isn’t usually a good thing. But hey the moneys good. Maybe they’ll even get lavender married so she can stay in her closet and continue to throw red meat to the $wifties.

The future is yet unwritten.

All that being said, I’ll get back to my original point of this ramble and that’s a song called Robin.

So yes, I’ve heard the rumors, I’ve read the theories, I’ve seen photographs of visual evidence. Karlie Kloss was in Los Angeles during the pandemic, the same place where Taylor was in fort part of 2020. When she returned to NYC if you count the months - she was pregnant even if she didn’t look it. I also believe Karlie was there in the shadows during the Long Pond Studio recordings in Upstate NY. Jack kind of gave it away when he referenced “Joe the dog” as being who he thought Taylor was talking about when she said “ Joe and I wrote a song”

I’ve also heard the rumor that there was a ceremony between them that they tried to pass off as a ceremony between Taylor and Joe which Tree later denied that there was ever a ceremony of “any type”.

Ok buckle up because here it comes

I’ve seen the “turkey baster”( IVF ) post that Karlie made. Like who uses a turkey baster in May? What an odd thing to do unless you were signaling an IVF pregnancy situation. Regardless ~ she was extremely happy that day.

I’ve seen the cinnamon buns post ( think the expression “buns in the oven ) that Taylor made a few days later back in May 2020. She was “proud” of her cinnamon buns.

Happy & proud …hum

Is that a crazy set of coincidences? Hand on whatever holy book you set before me ~ I’d have to say “yes”

And it’s Absolutely crazy considering the fact that Levi was born a little over nine months later.

Add in the fact of how emotional Taylor got accepting her Grammy for Folklore when Arron thanked his “ wife and kids “during the acceptance speech.

For a few moments there you could feel the raw emotion in her as she nearly burst into tears andJack tried to console her. Blonde was gutted. It cut deep.

Sidebar:

Yes Aaron has a son named Robin but he’s 9 years old and other than the name cleverly used for gentle cover of the truth in case damage control is ever needed~ there is no connection to that child or a secret, no showmanship to cover it up or anything that would make Taylor react as she did. Other than his name there is no connection to the words in the song

But the fact that Levi’s birth was announced during the Grammys absolutely does connect.

So I’ll just put a pin in that and move on.

Listening to that ballad yesterday rocked my entire world . It was so soft, gentle and living. So heart wrenching that I just let my emotions flow through me as my mind wandered back gathering and processing all the previous rumors and lore I had heard along the way. It left me rattled as it tumbled through memories. Could it all have been true?

So now I’m just gonna say it out loud running the risk of being attacked and also sounding like a supermarket tabloid…here goes “could Levi be Karlie’s and Taylor’s child?”

I know it sounds crazy…secret love child but …

I’m not trying to out anyone and I want to respect the fact that a child is involved here. Honestly I had second and third thoughts about posting this but if I’m being real ~ it’s also a collective of things that have been shared openly about Taylor and Karlie here for years. Somehow the song was like a puzzle piece that snapped into place.

…those loving words ,the emotion in Taylor‘s voice as she sings about her strong heartfelt attachment to a young toddler, as she encourages him in being wild and free in his wonder years, playing with abandon and roaring at the dinosaurs~

There was real love in those words

Looking out his window over his kingdom (NYC) and speaking gibberish

She also advocates for him keeping his innocence for as long as possible and then speaks of a secret that a inner circle of people have chosen to keep from him” in sweetness” to protect him and the “showmanship” to cover up that secret that he has no idea of.

And as she watches his unabashed play in his toddler purity she prophesies there will come a time in the future when the world he faces will have harsh words for him and she reminds him that he will bounce back like he now does on his trampoline.

“ and you have no idea

Buried down deep and out of your reach

the secret we all vowed

to keep it from you in sweetness

strings tied to levers

slowed down clocks tethers

all the showman ship

to keep it from you in sweetness

way to go, tiger

I’m not crying , you are and Levi looks just like his mommy 🤍

Let’s keep this in the family ✌️🤍🏳️‍🌈

God I love this show .

Stay tuned for next season

#karlie kloss #taylor swift #kaylor

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sluttyenthusiast · 4 months

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Taking What You Can Get

Patrick Zweig x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of affairs and having children + sad ☹️

(This is absolutely based off of my relationship from real life 🥲)

You loved Patrick, you really did, you had given him the past 8 years of you life, dropping everything to support him in his Tennis career. You had been his perfect housewife without being his wife. Everyone around you start to felt bad for you, your relationship was going nowhere, you told them it was fine but they complained that 8 years of dating was too much for a man who couldn't commit.

You remember the words that came from your closet friends, your friends since college, that you're doing too much of a wife without being treated as such. They knew Patrick, and deep down, you knew it wasn't right. He had been your first, and only boyfriend, and every part of him consumed you, there was no part in your life that he hadn't taken over.

He moved in with you, where you paid the bills and bought the groceries, where he essentially lounged around rent free and occasionally won a tennis match, but you were okay with it, you loved him, you really did.

You loved him so much that you couldn't find it in yourself to be mad at him when he cheated for the first time. If anything, you were angrier at yourself, not understanding why you couldn't be good enough for him.

It was simple in the terms that because of your lack of effort (or so you thought) in your relationship that made it turn to another woman.

Really though, could you blame him? He was probably getting bored, and you'd rather him be satisfied than unhappy with you, so you turned your head and let him continue on.

It continued for months, and it began to take a toll on you. At some point you found yourself confiding to your friends from college, about how you felt and wondered why he was with you for so long if you weren't good enough.

Art and Tashi assured you that you weren't the problem, it had everything to do with the grown man who hadn't matured past 19. Their words comforted you for a bit, and they couldn't help to feel bad, or at least Art.

Over the years you and Patrick had grown close with the married couple, often inviting them over to yours for dinner.

You had all been friends during college but had drifted apart, you were unknowingly the glue that held them together.

They were grateful for you, you always invited them over for home cooked meals and offered to watch their daughter. You just loved playing house for a little bit with Patrick, imagining a life with a child of your own.

You often found yourself in tears while laying in bed after Art and Tashi picked their daughter up, wishing for a life in which you were married with your own baby girl, maybe even a boy. Tears would flow down your cheeks as you watched Patrick's sleeping figure, listening to his breathing as you thought of the life you'll never have. You weren't getting any younger, and somehow, you held out hope, but you knew that Patrick didn't want children, so you didn't bother him with it, he also didn't want marriage, so you pushed everything you wanted aside and settled for what you could have, scared to lose the one good thing you had in your life.

Now you find yourself coming home, speaking out to Patrick about how you had gotten the groceries and planned to make the dinner he had requested. Your voice fell on deaf ears as the grunts and moans from the bedroom filled the house. You knew better than to intervene, so you sluggishly put groceries away, keeping your head down as you refused to cry.

Minutes had passed before you heard soft footsteps, not bothering to look up before you spoke.

"Hey Tashi,"

#gracie writes #challengers imagine #challengers x reader #challengers fic #patrick zweig x reader #patrick zweig blurb #patrick zweig smut #patrick zweig imagine #patrick zweig angst #patrick zweig #art donaldson imagine #tashi duncan imagine

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lasirenatarot · 1 year

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💫🌟WHAT BLESSINGS ARE COMING YOUR WAY? 💫 timeless pick-a-card reading.

- SIDE NOTE: some days my intuition is craaaazy (today 23.07.2023 is one of those days😂), so I decided to do this very random reading. It may be disorganized and totally not resonating for some, but it may help others, as Im writing all that I get without a clear topic, so enjoyyy!!

Piles:

1->2

3->4

Photos: Magdalena Frackowiak for Harper’s Bazaar USA, september 2009

PILE 1

Okayy so possible blessings coming your way, those who chose pile 1:

Short term luck; possible salary raise/ bonus/ promotion; for some it may be a sum of money you didn’t have to work much for or somebody simply just gave to you, money you won from the lotery or gambling; giveaway wins; finding a banknote on the street; finding lost jewelry/items; for some it may be more sales of your products that certain month if you’re a business owner etc. - the main point is you will get sth bc of luck (money/present/item..), not much hard work.

More $€x, pl€asure, parties, celebrations (carefree times basically) coming your way.

You may go on a holiday where you celebrate sth, have pl€asurable experiences. All this may be after time in which you have been waiting on for a loooong time. Prior to that you may have been « isolating » yourself a bit so you can work on yourself, your mental health, cleanse yourself spiritually from bad energy you’ve had in you from the past & heal from sth.

Tip for this pile: don’t go into excesses; do everything in moderation - drinking,partying, $£x, don’t take unnecessary risks, don’t be greedy or careless with your money; going against that may lead to an unpleasant a-ddiction of some sort.

PILE 2

Hope after tough time. You may get good news about a situation you’ve been worried about; You may find a solution to a problem, the truth about sth which may later lead you to the solution..

Someone might have lied to you/ did you wrong, bc of that you felt like your « life » was falling apart but it was actually a blessing; Learning who was a fake person in your life and who was actually faithful was the blessing;

You will have new beginnings in your life- might be a new job/new relationship/new friends/even new home or area where you live;

some may start new important friendships, change in social circle is sth prominent in this pile; you might feel way more valued and happy in this new social circle;

Some might have found out about infidelities /lots of lies, which may be the reason for all these changes; the situation may look bad at first sight but it will free you from a burden that was never yours ro carry in the first place.

Changes might happen very quickly;

You will get on a new journey to find your true happiness

PILE 3

Okay the first thing I got may not resonate for many but if you’ve been wishing for a child/pregnancy, or to start a family, it may be coming soon.

Those who are not looking to start a family it may mean that you may have some carefree days coming ahead, you will live your life like a baby, without that much responsibilities;

Some may get some sort of inheritance;

Money

Moving to a new house;

A lot of you may cut ties with their past, get rid of their past bad habits, toxic people and situations; you have to leave your past experience behind in order to live your ‘dream’

A dream of yours you tought was impossible to get may come into fruition during this time you’re reading this/near future. You just have to be strong and keep the faith.

Love for many of you!!!!

You may get help from a female figure or your intuition on sth that is bothering you;

PILE 4

Healing;

GOOD HEALTH ( for me that is the biggest blessing that’s why I wrote it in all caps )

Huuuuuuuge changes in your love life!!!! I cannot stress this enough, so many signs here in the cards.

If you’re single, the love interest you meet might be VERY masculine, career oriented, might look cold on the outside (won’t be true when you get to know that person tho, they seem like a sweetheart, u just have to get them out of their shell..); might be a foreigner or you may simply meet them away from home/abroads;

Your « cup » will be overflowing with love and emotions, but you don’t have to lose yourself completely. Boundaries and everything in moderation are important things to have in relationships😄

If you were mistreated in previous relationships - you will get your justice.

Those who are in a relationship might get proposed to or move in together; become official if you haven’t already, sth like that => getting to the next level.

Glow up, confidence boost; end of melancholy;

You will get things you’ve even have not let yourself dream about bc it seemed delusional at the time, what u get will exceed all your expectations;

Off topic but, Pile 4, be careful of envy, gossips&lies. Get rid of your subconcious limitations.

As always, leave a comment if resonated & follow for more.

- La Sirena.💋

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rydoggsworld · 1 year

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Formula One pt.2

Fic rec list 2... i think my other list hates me because i cannot add anymore links to stories onto it! anyways, enjoy.

part 1 ...

MAX VERSTAPPEN 01:

What Happens With The Kids by @ferrstappen summary - max really didn't have to find a girlfriend so soon after your divorce, and the fact that his girlfriend had a daughter of her own wasn't helping your case either. Apologise For Loving by @f1version summary - your relationship with max gets leaked. people are ruthless because of your last name. In Love by @kii-003 summary - you and max are close friends despite your father not liking him too much after he signed to redbull. but there always seemed to be something more between you two. Keep Away by @xhopelesslyromanticx summary - sneaking around with your brothers biggest rival probably was the worst idea you ever had, especially with everything that happened last year. so as this season started there' was only one question on your mind; could you keep away from one another? Late Night Devil by @scuderiamh summary - sworn rivals that totally hate each other minus the times they share the same bed. A Different Light by @deardjo summary - you weren't just friends. friends didn't touch you the way he did. Baby Steps by @forteafy summary - you've always been a mercedes golden girl; your life and career have been set out in stone. all it takes is for your ultimate rival to change that all.

CHARLES LECLERC 16:

Pretty Visitors by @strawberrysainz summary - someone can't take their eyes off of you at carlos and isa's wedding, and you can't seem to take your eyes off of him either. Take A Chance On Me by @leclsrc summary - damn ABBA and their catchy songs. Bad Liar by @thebearchives summary - the four times your relationship with charles almost got exposed to the grid and the one time it did. Positive by @fleetwooods summary - charles is a little shell shock after you give him some special news. Said Something Stupid, Instead Of 'I Love You' by @absolutelynotmate absolutelynotmate-archive summary - being best friends can lead to stuff you never expect, and some of those things... you just never come back from it. Ruin The Friendship by @monzamash summary - maybe you were a little more than friends but that was between you, charles and god. nobody else. and you refused to be the one to break the pact. Sex And Regret by @luvth0t summary - in which you and charles find yourselves in a never ending cycle of sex and regret since the end of your relationship, until you think you moved on. A Light In The Dark by @pucksandpower summary - two hurting souls find move amidst the lingering shadows of grief and tragedy. Somebody I Don't Know by @seasidepierre summary - Charles is so mad at his mistake during the race that you end up alone, trying to come up to terms with that side of him that you never really encountered. The Champion of Monaco by @fangirlika summary - It is not a secret that the Monaco GP is probably the most important race on the calendar for Charles, and you know that. It would mean the world to you if he finally got to break the curse, even if that means giving up your own win - oh the things one does for love. Epiphany by @raribella summary - Charles Leclerc's girlfriend works for the Ferrari F1 Team and faces the other end of having a driver boyfriend in motorsport after he gets in a horrific crash. Just Ride by @chrsleclerc summary - riding charles. Mornings by @hmxltn summary - waking up with charles. To Lose One, Is To Lose Both by @uglyducklingofthe2000s summary - crashes happen. cars are dangerous. sometimes there's nothing you can do. Hands To Myself by @mickyschumacher summary - charles leclerc, at the end of the day, is a simple man. so of course, when you show up to the annual f1 dinner dressed like a goddess, it becomes impossibly hard for charles to keep his hands to himself. I'm A Young Man After All by @uglyducklingofthe2000s summary - jealousy destroyed their friendship, but can jealousy lead to a reunion and much more than a friendship? Babies And Bahrain by @illicitlimerence-writes summary - being godparents to a child can lead to some interesting things to a future. I'll be back before 10 by @xxblairexxss summary - in which pierre forces charles to go out on a date behind your back.

CARLOS SAINZ JR 55:

You're My Book Boyfriend by @norrisleclercf1 summary - reader only loves her books and her boyfriend. Not In The Mood by @monzamash summary - grumpy uncle Carlos is struggling on the extended family holiday and you will do anything to shake him from his bad mood. Paradise by @strawberrysainz summary - maybe it wasn't the smartest idea to invite your childhood best friend to accompany you to an event...but oh well. Eight Or Higher @scuderiasundays summary - the pressure is on at carlos' home race and he takes it out on the one he loves most

LANDO NORRIS 04:

Married In 5 Years by @ktsfootballff summary - lando convinces you and max to do a cooking stream. Better Match by @holllandtrash (8 parts) summary - some things are better left unsaid. The Song To My Heart by @namelessalessandra summary - you and lando have been friends for a while, but what happens when one night you dress up to go to karaoke. Spill Your Guts Lando by @violetszone summary - the statement lando made in his video drew eyes to you, and you decided to talk to lando after watching the video. You're reading about sex? by @paddockbunny summary - lando isn't a patient flyer, he needs constant distractions and what could possibly be a better distraction than you? Inappropriate by @xhopelesslyromanticx summary - max is convinced that his sisters relationship with lando is inappropriate. the two of them testing his patience over and over again. but he will soon find out that them being apart isn't much better. (ft. pierre) Sunset Swim by @enchantestuff summary - in which a gathering on daniel's yacht turns into something more when lando plunges the two of you into the ocean. The Good, The Bad, and What Could've been by @monzamash summary - nine years. an age gap that you didn’t know would cause so much heartache. you tell yourself that it’s fine, he tells you that he could give you the world but this was a cautionary tale of what could’ve been if you just let love win Coworkers In Love by @spidersophie summary - you're lando's race engineer and he doesn't know how to keep a secret. Dark Paradise by @deardjo summary - it was no secret that alcohol made and you lando frisky. Here All Along by @deltaromeo3 summary - good or bad, she was always there for him. but things between them changes once he starts to become rich and famous; but not the reasons you think.

DANIEL RICCIARDO 03:

Feels Like Home by @harley-sunday (in progress) summary - When an unexpected three-week break between Monza and Singapore finds Daniel back on his farm in Perth he’s desperate to use this time to clear his mind, figure out his future in Formula One, and find his way back. He didn’t expect a new neighbour, a sassy two-year old, and three alpacas would make him realise that sometimes, what you’re looking for is right in front of you. Sweet Like Honey by @deardjo summary - spending your honeymoon in southern italy is as best as it can get. 1-2 Idiots - @deltaromeo3 summary - "they're gonna think we're idiots." Got Drunk On You by @deardjo summary - max comes for a visit before the race in monza and he fails to mention that he'd invited daniel along.

GEORGE RUSSELL 63:

Best Friend Privilege by @podiumsitter summary - george takes you to as many races as he can, because you're definitely only his best friend and nothing else. but you also have more privileges than you personally realise. George's Rough Night (pt.1) by @carboysandbikemen summary - george taking the bait from another driver, just for him to put them in their place. He Didn't Fuck You Like This by @paddockbunny summary - george gets a little jealous when running into your ex boyfriend.

MICK SCHUMACHER 47:

Paper-Thin Walls by @thebearchives summary - noisy neighbours was the last thing mick was expecting after the long f1 season. he's tired, he's stressed, and believe it or not, he's ready to give his neighbour a piece of his damn mind.

OTHER:

The Grids Delight by @sebscore (series) summary - the shenanigans of female gen z driver and the formula one grid.

#max verstappen x reader #daniel ricciardo x reader #lando norris x reader #charles leclerc x reader #carlos sainz x reader #george russel x reader

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pamsimmer · 7 months

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When I made "Lunar" someone asked for a legacy challenge for human sims. So I finally wrote one!

Since some people don't like big legacies because it takes forever to finish, I made another small legacy! Only 5 gens.

If you know my stories from twitter or my "pamsimmerstories" you know I usually use a lot of adult themes and this is not different, so be aware this can be a little dark.

TW: Spouse death, while giving birth; Drug Use, alcohol and other drugs; Child Abuse, Neglect; Infetility

LEGACY CHALLENGE: "Dream Odyssey"

Basic Rules:

Start as a Young Adult - any gender you want

Normal/Long lifespan (which one you prefer)

You can use freerealestate cheat if you want to begin.

When I put ( / ) is because you can choose what you prefer or if you don’t have said pack you can choose the base game one.

Colors are not mandatory, but it could be fun?!

Requirements: Cottage Living, University, City Living, Nifty Knitting, Horse Ranch, Get Famous, Get Together, Snowy Scape, Island Living, Seasons, Parenthood.

Mods recommendations (Not required):

McCommand Center,

UI Cheats,

Long Distance Learning,

RPO.

Basemantal Drugs

Generation 1: “Dandelions” by Ruth B.

You moved from your parents to live in a big city and go to your dream college (San Myshuno Institute)*. You’ve always wanted to be a doctor/veterinarian and this was finally happening!

One day you met the love of your life in between classes (preferably someone you met that is also at uni) you get married, but one day you caught them cheating and you feel like this is the end of the world.

So you leave everything and go to Henford on Bagley and become a farmer. You meet someone that makes you open up again and you two have a beautiful family.

*if you don’t want to use mods like the ”Long Distance Learning” by Ravasheen, you can just pretend you’re going there living in San Myshuno

Traits: Good, Animal Enthusiast/Loves the Outdoors, The last one you pick, to make things interesting, pick a bad trait like high maintenance

Career: Start as University Student in San Myshuno (you can finish it and start the career or you can just drop university in the middle of your term); End up as a farmer in Henford

Skills: Logic/Vetenerian and Cross-Stitch

Hobby: Cross-Stitch or Knitting

Aspiration: Country Caretaker

Relationship: fall in love at university, get cheated on, runaway to Henford and meet someone new. You can have children with the first one if you want to or you can wait until you meet the second sim. It’s up to you.

Color: Green/Yellow

Generation 2: “High” by Miley Cyrus

You grew up in the middle of a bunch of animals, your parent was a nature freak and you became one as well. But your kind of animal is a bit different from your parent. You love horses and you dream in live at Chestnut Ridge and have your own horse and participate in competitions and earn money from it.

You find love, but when your wife is giving birth to your baby, she dies (your sim could be a woman and you use cheats to make her pregnant and if you don’t use mods as RPO/Pandasama you can also cheat to kill the sim).

[The Sims 4 killing cheats: [death.toggle true - kill your Sim] I've never used it, so I don't know if it really works]

So you see yourself as a single parent juggling between parenting and taking care of your horse and participating of competitions.

Traits: Horse Lover, Rancher, the last trait you choose.

Career: Autonomous as Horse Competitor, you can try odd jobs as well

Skills: Riding, Painting/Nectar Making

Hobby: Painting/Nectar Making

Aspiration: Championship Rider

Relationship: Meet someone, become a widow/er. You can find love again if you wish.

Color: Orange

Generation 3: “No Love In LA” by Palaye Royale

When you were born your mother died and you never met her. Your other parent was always busy with his horses and competitions that you now hate Chestnut.

You want more for your life. As soon as you age up, you go to Del Sol Valley and you’re finally able to follow your dream of becoming a star! You want to be a famous actor/actress. But not everything is like you thought it would be, you thought you would become a 5 star celebrity quickier than you did. But you never give up.

Find a celebrity and get married to them just for fame (I guess you’re gonna need cheats for them to meet).

[Modify Relationship

You'll need the full name of your Sim and the celebrity Sim (or vice versa). If it doesn't work, try " LTR_Friendship_Main" at the end.] (I also never tested this one...but in case you don't have mods, try this)

One day you’re gonna meet someone who’s a nobody and fall in love, you’re gonna cheat on your partner and get pregnant/get someone pregnant.

You have two choices:

leave your spouse and be with your love or

stay in a unhappy marriage and pretend the cheating never happened (if your sim is a male, never talk to the pregnant sim again and one day a child shows up at your door, this is gonna be the heir. And if your sims is a female, pretend the kid is your husband’s child. It doesn’t matter, you’re gonna fail as a parent no matter what).

Traits: Self-Assured, Ambitious, and a bad trait of your choosing

Career: Actor

Skills: Acting, Dancing, Photography

Hobby: Photography and also dancing, go to nightclubs often, drink a lot (if you don’t play with mods pretend your sims is an alcoholic, if you play with mods like basemental your sim is definitely an alcoholic and maybe had a drug addiction, let’s go dark here)

Aspiration: Master Actor

Relationship: Marry for fame and cheat on your partner and get pregnant of impregnate someone this is how your heir is gonna be made.

Color: Red

Generation 4: “Flares” by The Script

Your parent should never be a parent.

You grew up in a spolight because of your parent, but you hate it. Everything is so fucked up and you just want to run away as far as possible.

When you become a teen, you're going to run away from home and go to Mt Komorebi, drop from school and work in a part time job.

To scape your own mind you start a few hobbies such as snowboarding/skiing/climbing.

When you’re young adult you meet someone while doing one of those things and you two fall in love. You two start a family and are very happy.

Traits: Adventurous, Loner, and a trait of your preference

Career: Teen: Part Time Job; Young Adult: Salaryperson

Skills: Two of these: (You can choose: Snowboarding/Skiing/Climbing)

Hobby: Choose two from 3 (Snowboarding/Skiing/Climbing)

Aspiration: Extreme Sports Enthusiast

Relationship: Find love when your sim is a young adult and this sim is gonna be actually happy :)

Color: Grey

Generation 5: “Light” by Sleeping At Last

Your parents were loving and you loved Mt Komorebi, but you feel like you need to run away from the cold mountains of Mt Komorebi.

When you grow up you want to live in a summery place, so you choose Sulani.

You fall in love more than once, but your relationships never work. You’re also infertile, but you want a kid so baaaad, so you decide to adopt one after years of trying.

You're going to raise a kid alone, maybe get yourself a dog as well? You want to be the best parent someone could be.

Traits: Family Oriented, Child of the Ocean, and a third trait of your choosing

Career: Any of the freelancer careers

Skills: Parenting, Flower Arrenging/Singing

Hobby: Flower Arrenging/Singing

Aspiration: Superparent

Relationship: All your relationships will fail, no matter how hard you try. One day you finally realize it and just accept that you’re going to be alone and you can be happy like this. Then you adopt a child (could be a baby if you want to) and maybe a pet as well.

Color: Blue

#the sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4 #ts4 gameplay #the sims 4 gameplay #ts4 simblr #simblr #the sims community #legacy challenge #small legacy challenge #sims 4 legacy

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kakiastro · 3 months

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The Transformation of Aquarius Chart Rulers

This is how all the aquas are looking right now

Chart ruler- your rising planetary ruler

Ex: if you’re a Capricorn rising. Your ruler is Saturn

Your chart ruler represent YOU. You physically and emotionally embody that planet.

It’s like the Olympics, each planet has its own team players representing them in this lifetime.

If your chart ruler is in the sign of Aquarius then you are here to represent innovation and progress for your team.

Regardless what your rising sign is, if the chart ruler is in Aquarius than you will experience Aquarius themes throughout your life. Your rising is how you maneuver through it.

If you are an Aquarius chart ruler, then YOU are about to go through the biggest transformation in your life. Why? Because of Pluto.

Pluto is the planet of death/rebirth, it tears everything down to ground zero to rebuild something better. It’s time to be better aquas. It will be tough in the beginning, maybe even painful for some. No, I’m instilling fear(which Pluto rules by the way) I’m keeping it real (blame my cap stellium😅) and telling you what you can at least be prepared for. Astrology isn’t love and light, it’s life. It’ll feel like your being stripped naked and may feel very vulnerable at times. There’s is a bright side but it’s up to you to want to embrace it.

Are you going to let the pain get to you or are you going to alchemize it to the best of your ability?

Pluto is fear and it brings up our most uncomfortable emotions to the surface, it’s the boogie man hiding in our closet. Are you going to confront the boogie man or keep letting him mess up your good clothes?

Now for you aquas, your deeper fears is change and vulnerability. Aqua are known as the progressive and innovative sign, it rules society as a whole. However, aqua is one of the fixed signs. This means it’s stubborn and it’s hard to convince them to change their minds and ways. They need so much proof in order to do that and even then. Just like Virgos, y’all are know it alls. Yes, Virgo you’re catching strays too😅jk I love y’all! Now for the vulnerability, Aquarius doesn’t like public display of emotions. Pluto is changing all that, you’ll cry at the sight of a kitten now😅 you are learning it’s okay to release those emotions, you’re learning to be human and no longer like ET.

Here’s the thing, in order to move forward as a collective , we have to break down some walls and that includes our own. It’s not easy at all.

Now, depending on the planetary ruler, the aqua energy will manifest itself differently.

Sun-your ego, soul mission, your light, your public life, creativity, your children

Moon- your private life, family, your inner home, emotions

Mercury-your mind, your communication, your car, your siblings, health, pets, daily routine, your job

Mars- your physical body, motivation and action, stamina, sexuality/sex

Venus- your relationship(s), financials, your possessions, self worth, beauty, your voice, comfort zone, wife

Jupiter- your faith, your philosophical beliefs and ideals, husband, your luck, traveling, cultures

Saturn- your responsibilities , obstacles, your long term lessons, grandparents, Career, parenting

Uranus- oh hunny, you’re really representing aqua here lol, all things progressive, shocking, unpredictable

Neptune- spiritually, creativity, subconscious, collective, hospitals, prisons, water

I’ll make a separate post in detail of the different planetary rulers if you want? Let me know yall!

There’s no need to put Pluto because nobody alive right now except the babies that’s being born and created has a Pluto Aquarius lol

I do have my predictions about Generation Beta but I want to wait and see how this Pluto transit starts to play out in a few more years. This transit is 20 years so this is a huge generation.

Talk to your fellow Saturn big sibling Capricorn, they been through it, including me who has both placements lol

I promise, the growth is worth it though yall! Hang on y’all! Hold the line!

Reading are open!

#astrology #astrology community #knowledge #astro observations #advanced astrology #birth chart #kakiastro #tropical astrology #aquarius #Aquarius chart ruler by kakiastro

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pagannatural · 7 months

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Season 1. Wincest Narrative

The way this story unfolds is so, so beautiful and I lose my mind a little when I think about it as a whole. When it opens, the brothers haven’t spoken in 3 or 4 years even though they've both desperately wanted to, and they both think the other doesn't want them. The first time they see each other after Sam walks out, they struggle in the dark and pin each other to the ground and then run away together.

Season character arcs

Sam begins the season ostensibly satisfied with his life at Stanford, with a career plan and a long-term relationship. Two things have to happen to disrupt that- Dean coming back into his life, and Jessica being killed. Kind of a switcheroo.

Sam was going to marry his Dean-replacement girlfriend. He was never going to talk about his past even though he still thought about it all the time, still looked up cases and tried to follow along with what was happening in Dean’s life. He was going to box his past up and put it away forever and pretend to fit in because this is the life he chose, and because Dean didn't pick him. And then Dean literally breaks through Sam's careful barriers and all it takes is a gruff “yeah well I don’t want to [do this without you]", and Sam packs his bags. He doesn't even look back when Jessica asks where he’s going. He doesn’t kiss her goodbye.

The way Dean appears to Sam as this dangerous, rough-around-the-edges, so familiar and so alive and so secret fork in the road is just delicious.

Dean starts the season believing that Sam has rejected and abandoned him. He wants his little brother back so badly, but he truly thinks Sam doesn’t want him. He finally has something to approach Sam with that maybe Sam will care about enough to come back to him- their dad, missing. I haven't seen this episode but I know later in the show Dean says he waited for hours outside before he broke in, agonizing over what Sam would say.

Over the course of the season Dean pursues Sam and shows him that he will protect him, keep him safe, choose him, respect him, and save him. The one thing he won't do is corrupt him, which is what he believes their feelings for each other would do. That's a conflict he'll bring into next season, but Sam decides to love him anyway. Sam tries so hard to hold onto the world outside of Dean but he ends up succumbing. By the end of the season, they’ve accepted that they're the most important things to each other.

John’s role is crucial to Sam and Dean’s relationship

Sam wants to belong and to be his own person. John is the force dictating his life before he leaves, so he has to get away from John. It’s not possible for Sam to grow up without breaking from his dad.

John gives bundled baby Sammy to Dean the night of the fire and that’s pretty much the way their relationships with each other form. John has handed Sam off to Dean. They hold conflicting positions in Sam’s life.

John is a larger-than-life god-like figure to Dean. He’s distant and he has all the answers and all the power and his word is law, and Dean’s contract with him is to Take Care of Sam. So Dean serves this purpose under John’s rule until they reach a point at which Dean can’t take care of Sam without breaking from John and growing up. That rupture came to a head when Sam left for Stanford and Dean takes his first steps toward replacing John when John goes missing, by going to Sam. Dean makes the first move after years have passed to reconnect, something not even John would do.

Sam and Dean are fighting against getting close again for different reasons

Sam wishes he could have a normal life. A normal life is by necessity also a life distant from Dean. In the first episode, when Dean drops Sam off at Stanford and tells him they made a pretty good team, Sam looks conflicted and chokes out a “yeah” before watching Dean drive away. He knows they make a good team, that’s not the problem. Throughout this season, he is at war with wanting to be with Dean vs wanting to be normal.

From the very first episode and throughout the entire season, it’s obvious that they were very close before Sam left. They make each other angry and they make each other laugh and they communicate just by looking at each other- strategizing and seeking each other’s opinions and assessing each other’s needs in glances. They instantly fold back into each other’s lives, they save each other over and over. They gravitate toward each other and walk in sync and stand in each other’s spaces. There’s this sense that they know one another, not just better than anyone else, but better than anyone could ever possibly know them. It's clear to the viewer that they're matching puzzle pieces.

And I don’t think Sam’s conflict is actually about hunting versus normal at all. Sam rediscovers his love and aptitude for hunting right away. He feels fulfilled, admires Dean, and enjoys himself much of the time. In “It’s a Terrible Life” (s4) he still asks Dean to run away with him and be hunters together in an alternate universe. So his conflict centers on John and Dean.

At this point Sam thinks Dean sided with John and abandoned him when he stopped hunting. But it’s more than feeling hurt and abandoned by Dean- Sam literally cannot have both Dean and a life. Dean is all-consuming. Sam could get the things he needs from Dean- belonging and respect- if it weren’t for two things: 1, Dean is still unwilling to break from John in a way that matters and 2, the way that they love each other is so abnormal it feels impossible.

Sam is unwilling to put Dean above everything else because it is in fact a dichotomy- Dean is bigger than just a brother, he can’t fit into Sam’s life as just another part of it. Sam knows that.

Dean’s conflicts mirror Sam’s. Sometimes he resents hunting and wishes his life could’ve been normal. He faces the same dichotomy- once he becomes more independent from John, he can either have a family and home of his own or he can have Sam, and he hates himself partly because what he wants more is Sam. He knows that's not normal and thinks a part of Sam hates him for it. One reason their connection is so fraught with guilt and shame is because it's sexual/psychosexual, which is why I personally tag everything wincest. The way sexual and romantic relationships are so often a blatant point of conflict between them, the way their scenes are often shot like sex scenes, the jealousy and possessiveness, the way they touch each other, the fact that they see each other as desirable. It all points to a love complicated by sex. I have no problem with the idea of them as platonic soulmates, but I honestly think the text supports just straight-up wincest.

And actually they're not soulmates

They're twin flames. The idea that they're soulmates comes in later, but I think it's more precise and also more useful to the narrative to understand them as twin flames.

Twin flames are one soul split into two people, and their purpose is to cause one another to grow and be challenged by their connection. They're halves and also mirrors. That's why their dynamic is so often this push-pull, why their connection is so palpable, why they find each other in every universe and why they know each other so impossibly deeply. Narratively, one is often pursuing the other and they tend to push each other to the deepest depths of highs and lows. They separate, but they always come back to each other.

#samdean #spn meta #spn #wincest #supernatural #sam and dean

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the-guilty-writer · 2 years

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Can I ask a garcia daughter where Derek and her have close relationship much like his and garlic, and just cute moments between them

I think this works better as headcanons so here you go!

Penelope had always wanted to do more to help children who had lost their parents as she had and she decided that becoming a foster mom would be the best thing she could do to help.

You were 10 years old and your parents had been victims on a case that the team was working.

It was a local case and you were brought in to be interviewed.

A social worker was supposed to be there to pick you up, but they were running late and the team had to spread out to different places so Garcia volunteered to watch you.

She brought you to her lair and shared all her fun fuzzy pens and figurines with you.

After a few hours the social worker finally showed up but you refused to leave Garcia's side.

"I'm actually a foster parent. I'd be happy to have her until she settles down." "Thank you. As soon as we find her a long-term placement I will let you know."

Garcia ended up being your long-term placement.

She adopted you not long after that.

Hotch gave her lots of time off so she could be home to help you adjust, but sometimes she had to bring you to work with her.

The team didn't mind one bit. they loved having you around.

Of course you liked all of them.

But it was no secret that Derek was your favorite.

He was the first person you always hugged when Garcia brought you to work.

If Garcia was busy you would sit on his lap while he went over files (telling you to close your eyes so you didn't see any crime scene photos of course).

And at the end of a long day when you were exhausted from running around the bullpen he would carry you to the car and be super careful not to wake you up.

At school some kids made fun of you for your parents being dead and only having a mom now and no dad.

When Penelope told him he was furious.

So for career day he went instead of Garcia and he pulled out all the stops- FBI kevlar vest, hand-to-hand demonstration, cool stories about catching bad guys (leaving out the not so kid friendly parts of course), etc.

And the kids stopped making fun of you because you obviously had the coolest uncle in the whole world plus he can arrest people, has handcuffs, and carries a gun.

He took you to the dad and daughter dance too.

When you get into a sport he coaches you.

As long as he isn't away on a case he would never miss a game/meet.

You always perform better when he's there beforehand to give you a peptalk.

He was halfway across the country right before championships and he knew he wasn't going to make it so he slipped away for five minutes to call you.

"I'm always with you, little baby girl. You can do this."

The photo of you holding up your champion trophy/metal sits on his desk.

Garcia is baby girl and you're little baby girl even if you get taller than her when you start to grow.

He got you guys tee shirts with your nicknames on them.

The older you got and the more you could understand things the more inside jokes you would have.

When you go on your first date Derek pulls the big scary FBI agent dad act and Garcia has to tell him to chill.

And when you have your first heartbreak he doesn't get angry and want revenge for you. He just holds you while you cry and tells you that it's going to be okay.

Penelope on the other hand absolutely makes that person's life a living hell for a few days by inconviniencing them online in anyway possible.

She may or may not have changed the passwords to all their social media accounts and signs them up for every spam email possible.

He helps move you into your dorm room/first apartment at college.

When it was time to leave he cried more than Penelope.

She had to be the driver home because he couldn't keep it together.

"my dear chocolate thunder, she's only a two hour drive away. She can visit on the weekends."

When you've been dating someone for a while and you bring them home you know Garcia will love them, but you really hope that Derek doesn't scare them off.

He doesn't.

A few years later when they want to propose they know they need his blessing too.

He cries when he walks you down the isle.

He cries during the dad daughter dance too.

"I don't care how old you get, you'll always be my little baby girl."

#criminal minds fanfiction #penelope garcia x daughter!reader #derek morgan x platonic!reader #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds x platonic!reader #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x teen!reader #criminal minds x daughter!reader #criminal minds x child!reader #criminal minds

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heavyhitterheaux · 1 year

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Three Little Loves: The Birth of the Triple Threat Harlows

First Babies of Private Garden Fic

AN: Mature topics ahead. There are mentions of blood, chest compressions, death and other medical terms that I did my best to put in layman's terms so that people would be able to understand. If anything is unclear, all you have to do is ask and I will explain it! I hope you all enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it and we're finally here!

Synopsis: You give birth to your three babies, Ivy, Axel, and Autumn, but not without complications that led Jack to think he would have to be without his wife for the rest of his life.

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

First Babies of Private Garden Masterlist

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

The night was clear as a few stars peppered the sky as you were sitting outside in the backyard in a comfortable silence taking it all in. In just a few hours, you and Jack would be able to officially add the title of parents to your lives and the two of you would now be responsible for three little versions of the both of you.

It was a long time coming with the pregnancy and the two of you at first swept things under the rug and put them to the side regarding the both of you and the relationship between the two of you that was considered a marriage if anyone could call it that.

Being petty, lying to each other, going behind each other’s backs, and not being considerate of the other’s feelings was just a tip of the iceberg of what had only occurred in the past year when Jack’s career truly skyrocketed from his success of First Class. You kept it to yourself how it bothered you how he was acting differently and blamed it on him being under pressure to maintain this level of success. However you did warn him right before the two of you moved to Atlanta for him never to lose sight of his humble beginnings and to never forget how he got to where he is.

During the last half of your pregnancy, the two of you did start to go to marriage counseling as well as seeing a therapist together and apart not wanting to bring the triplets into a hot mess express. The two of you still had a long way to go and truth be told, you knew that you never wanted to do this with anyone else despite what the two of you had gone through. You had a lingering thought in your head during the last therapy session wondering if in fact the two of you got married entirely too early even if you knew that it was eventually going to happen anyway. Yes, you loved him and you knew that he was your soulmate, however, it happened when the two of you had turned nineteen not even being able to explore the world around you yet and you had a feeling that had a big part to play in it.

After you had left Jack in your shared condo in California and before you found out you were pregnant, you were thinking long and hard about separating from him for a while.

Legally.

You knew in your heart of hearts that you didn’t want to divorce him and would never bring yourself to do it, but you felt that as of lately, you were always getting the short end of the stick when it came to him, when before you would always be his priority. You could admit to yourself that you weren’t innocent either in all of this and Jack was not the only one to be blamed for what went down between the two of you. A lot had to be worked on from both ends and you wanted for your kids to be able to witness a happy and successful marriage.

Right now you couldn’t have either of those labels on it.

Jack stepped up into high gear when you told him that you were in fact pregnant and would do anything that a loving husband would. However, you didn’t feel as though he was hiding something from you, that wasn’t quite the right word, but you knew deep down he was scared shitless and had his concerns about this entire situation. However, he didn’t express his feelings about it to you at all since you originally told him. He gave you pieces here and there, but that was it.

Another thought was Jack always wanting and needing to be the strong one and not necessarily showing his vulnerable side to you and you didn’t know when that shift happened because the two of you would always be laying in your backyard at night talking about anything and everything and now it seems as if everything is on the surface.

You honestly didn’t know how your husband was feeling deep down and that bothered you to no end. He would simply brush you off when you mentioned it and you were running out of ideas in order to get him to open up more.

It was one in the morning and your alarm as well as Jack's was set for five in order to get up and get ready to head to the hospital. You were growing anxious as the clock ticked by and just wanted to be able to hold them.

Yesterday, you cornered Urban in his room and had a long talk with him that led to the both of you being upset. Urban more so than you because of what you had told him.

You softened him up by buying him Ramen before the initial blow.

“Urby? You have to promise me something, okay? Just in case things don’t go well tomorrow.”

“What? What the hell is that even supposed to mean?!”

“Urby, please. Just listen to me because this is already hard enough.” You muttered while sitting next to him on his bed.

“Okay, I’m listening.”

“I… I’ve written letters for Jack, the triplets, you and all of PG, my parents, my sister, Jess, Blanca, Victoria, and Diamonte if anything were to happen to me and you cannot under any circumstance open it unless something does. I wanted to give them to you because… Jack…. I don’t understand where his head is at the moment and I know he’s scared even if he doesn’t admit it. I know he’s putting on a brave face, but he’s scared of losing me and for good reason. I mean…. I couldn’t have this conversation with him without him going off the deep end so I knew that I had to come to you. Now, if it comes down to saving me or them….”

Urban immediately cut you off.

“No. Absolutely not, I can’t…. I don’t want to hear this.” You could see Urban getting visibly upset and you were also doing your best not to cry.

“Urban Henry, please. I know that this is hard to hear, but I have to be realistic. If anything were to happen to me, I know for a fact that you will raise them as if they were your own and help Jack to the best of your ability. We picked you to be their Godfather for a reason. But save them over me. They deserve to have a chance to live.”

“You aren’t… you aren’t going anywhere, okay? You’re not.” Urban quietly said and was trying to do his best not to let the tears fall since you saw that his eyes were watering.

“Don’t cry because then I’m going to start crying and Jack will then question both of us.”

“How can I not? I don’t want to think of losing one of my best friends in the entire world.”

“I know, but you know that I am always going to look over you and protect you, right? That’s never ever going to change whether I’m physically here or not. So here are the letters and this is between me and you and you cannot tell Jack unless you know… something happens.”

“Now if nothing happens, are you going to tell him?”

“I haven’t decided yet, but it would be smart if I did. I love you so so much and thank you for all that you do for the both of us.” You said while leaning over to hug Urban as much as your stomach would allow.

“Love you too and you better not fucking leave me.”

You heard the sliding glass door open and footsteps which you knew belonged to your husband who came and sat next to you while grabbing your hand in his.

“What are you doing up?” He quietly asked while kissing your cheek as you still had your gaze held onto the sky.

“I can’t sleep, but that isn’t anything new.” You replied while shrugging and Jack started rubbing small circles on the back of your hand that he was holding.

“Everything is going to be okay, baby. We’re almost there.”

“But you don’t know that. I don’t mean to be negative or anything like that but it’s true. There’s not one baby in there, there’s three. Things can go wrong even if there's only one.”

“And you have the best possible team of doctors looking after you and I have made sure of it. You’re going to get the best care and have been getting it this entire time.”

“Promise me something.” You quietly said after a few minutes.

“What is it?”

“And don’t fight me on this. I figured that I needed to tell you this before they cut me open.”

“Baby, you’re making me nervous.” Jack quietly said while looking over at you and from that point you knew that you couldn't tell him about the letters. Not yet anyway.

Now you were hesitant to even say anything about it since you know Jack likes to worry 90% of the time and probably wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep after this.

“Can you make sure you have my favorite pizza and Calypso ready to eat afterwards?”

Jack left out a small laugh before nodding his head and leaning over to kiss your cheek.

“Of course, baby. Your wish is my command. Anything you want or need, you know that I’m going to do it for you. That's not ever going to change."

“I appreciate you for that.”

Jack placed another kiss on your cheek before responding.

“Hey, you want to find our stars? It’s been a while since we looked at them.”

One thing that drew Jack to you was how smart you were and your obsession with all things space related. He was convinced that if you weren’t doing music that you would probably work for NASA.

You eagerly nodded as Jack went to go and get the telescope and you stood up as best you could waiting for him to come back.

Once he did, he set everything up and pulled out the little paper that had both of your stars on it that you gave to each other when he first asked you to be his girlfriend when the two of you were fifteen.

“Can you find it or do you need my help like always?” You playfully asked him and he simply shook his head and laughed at you.

“I got this baby.”

“You sure about that because you are definitely looking in the wrong direction.”

“Oh. Then maybe I do.” Jack quietly said before you laughed at him and quickly pointed the telescope in the right direction and zoomed in on his star.

“There it is.” You said backing away from the telescope in order to give Jack enough room to look through it and see his star.

“We should get the three of them one too.”

You quickly nodded in agreement and rubbed your belly at the thought of being able to teach them all that you knew about space and show them the stars that you and Jack are going to name after them.

Then it was time for you to find yours and all you had to do was move the telescope slightly to your right.

“Still as bright as the first time I saw it.” You quietly said as you felt Jack behind you.

“Still as bright as the love that I have for you when I first came up with the idea to get it for you.”

“And I hope that your love for me never dims.” You muttered in response, not sure if Jack had heard you, but he did.

“Why would you ever think that?”

“Just… this past year neither of us have truly been all in when it came to this marriage and all of a sudden I get pregnant when we weren’t even on the best terms. I feel that we still aren’t, but it’s moving in the right direction.”

"I…. I can admit that what happened shouldn't have happened and I'll be making that up to you for the rest of my life."

"It goes both ways because it wasn't only your fault but mine too."

"From this point forward, that is never going to happen again. I treated you as if you weren't my priority when you are. I promised to always take care of you when I asked you to marry me and I've fallen short of that. I just want us to get back to how we were before."

"As long as we work at it, we will." You quietly answered as Jack leaned down to kiss you.

"I love you. More than anything in this world."

"I love you too." You replied in response as you hugged him tighter.

"Now let's get some sleep because you know we probably won't get any quality sleep until they're eighteen."

"You mean the rest of our lives as bad as you like to worry and make me worry with you."

"I figured I'd get an early start. And you know I always worry about you and that won't ever change."

"Baby, you already have gray hair so I'm going to need for you to cut it out."

"Ehh, no promises."

—

You were now being prepped in the operating room as Jack was sitting to the left of you and you had to admit that he looked very cute in his little blue bonnet with a few curls sticking out and blue scrubs that the staff had given them to wear.

Your anxiety was at an all time high and you were doing your best to calm your breathing as Jack was holding your hand.

“What if I feel them cutting me?” You asked as your eyes went wide and looked over at your husband who simply shook his head.

“They have done this a million times and know what they are doing.” Jack answered as he leaned down to kiss your forehead and you nodded.

“The only thing you’ll feel Mrs. Harlow is pressure on your stomach and that’s it. We have everything set up for them once they are out and you already know that they will be in the NICU just to give them the little extra help that they need in order for them to be strong enough to come home.”

“Okay.” You quietly said as you held Jack’s hand tighter.

“Okay! Here we go!”

You glanced at the clock in the room to see that it was 7:19 am and that was when the first incision was made.

As promised, you didn’t feel anything except pressure as Jack was being the most supportive husband that you could have ever asked for and helped to keep you calm. After the two of you finally went to bed early that morning, he simply laid there staring at the ceiling absolutely scared shitless about what was due to happen in a few hours as he watched you sleep peacefully which he was surprised by seeing as this was probably the most you had gotten in weeks.

“You got this, baby. They’re almost here.”

“First baby is out! It’s a girl! Here mom and dad. Look how gorgeous she is." One of the nurses came to the head of the bed where the two of you were and the two of you couldn’t do anything but smile. You heard her cry and couldn't help but let a few tears slip out.

“Ivy May.” You and Jack said at the exact same time while laughing. It was only right to name her after both of your mothers seeing as how big of an influence that they had on the both of you.

She was then whisked away to get evaluated by the NICU nurse to make sure she was indeed stable as you then became nervous because of what was said.

“Number two is out. It’s a boy!”

The one thing that you were listening out for was his cry and when you didn’t hear anything you started to panic.

“Why is he not crying?!” You asked while turning towards Jack who then got a terrified look on his face.

“Breathe for me, okay. Take some deep breaths. Slowly in and out.” Jack said and you followed his instructions as best as you could when suddenly you heard Axel's first cry.

“Thank God.”

“He’s not breathing too well on his own so we’re going to intubate him and take him upstairs.”

Neither you or Jack got to see Axel as he was whisked away to the NICU and you were trying your best not to think the absolute worst. Jack could see the absolute fear in your eyes and was trying to put on a brave face for the both of you.

“And here comes number three! It’s a girl! You did an amazing job mom! Going to close you up and get you to postpartum.”

“I told you everything would be fine, babe. I have one bad ass wife. Three at one time? Your fave could never.” Jack said and you immediately laughed as he leaned over to kiss you.

You weren’t sure how long it would take in order to stitch you back up, but more than a few minutes had passed and you were growing nervous but tried to relax seeing as the hardest part was over.

At least you thought it was.

Even though you were laying down, you suddenly felt lightheaded and knew that something wasn't right and Jack immediately took notice since you weren’t interacting with him as much as before.

“Baby? Babe? Y/N? What’s wrong?” He asked suddenly in a panic. You were trying to do your best to talk in order to respond to him, but nothing was coming out but you eventually managed to utter a few words.

"Something isn't right."

"What's not right?!" He immediately asked you, but you didn't say anything else.

“Y/N! Why is she not answering me?!” Jack turned to the nurses and doctors looking for answers as they now shared looks of panic between them even if they were trying to do their best hiding it from Jack. They were professionals and the last thing they would ever want is to cause fear, but their job description required them to be honest.

"Mrs. Harlow, try to stay awake for me."

“She’s losing a lot of blood, her uterus isn’t contracting as much as we want it to so we’re giving her drugs in order to help speed up the process.”

“Hang O neg now and hang the fluids wide open. Call the blood bank for more units just in case STAT.”

That was the last thing that you remember hearing before your hand went limp in Jack’s.

The heart monitor that you were hooked up to flatlined and Jack’s eyes went wide.

"I LOST HER PULSE!"

“No, no this cannot be happening…. no.” Was all Jack quietly said as he looked at you in disbelief.

“Start compressions."

"Someone get the defibrillator!"

“She’s losing a lot of blood.”

“Mr. Harlow, your wife’s heart has stopped and we’re trying to get her back, now go with Andrew and let us work. We’re going to do all that we can in order for her to be able to see her triplets grow up.” One of the nurses said to Jack and she maneuvered him away from you as he saw them pounding on your chest.

"GET THE EPINEPHRINE READY."

"PULSE CHECK!"

"I DON’T FEEL ANYTHING."

"RESUME COMPRESSIONS."

“INTUBATE HER NOW!”

Once Jack was out in the hallway, he simply had tunnel vision and was trying to keep himself together and not have a panic attack. In that moment, he knew he had to call her thinking the absolute worst.

He was about to be a widow at 25 with newborn triplets.

“Mom, Y/N’s heart stopped. I don’t… I don’t know if she’s going to make it.”

—

When your eyes fluttered open, you were confused about where you were or what had happened and the fact that you noticed that you couldn’t talk. Your eyes went wide and immediately started to pull at every tube covering your face, but a gentle hand stopped you.

“Hi Y/N. You’re okay sweetie, but I need you to relax for a second. You’re in the intensive care unit because you bled out after they delivered your babies and your heart stopped. They put a breathing tube down your throat in order to protect your airway. I’m your nurse, Lydia and I’ve been taking care of you for the last two days. Your babies are in the NICU and your husband is there with them now. He has only left your side to go and see them and then he’s right back here waiting for you to wake up. I finally convinced him to go home and rest and he finally did yesterday when I had finished my shift. You have an amazing husband and support team that is out of this world. We’ll get you situated and see about taking you to see them.”

When Lydia finished, you couldn’t help but to still have a thousand questions run through your mind and a few tears slip out.

How were the triplets since you only saw them for mere seconds as they were whisked away from you to go straight to the NICU even though your doctor had already told you that would be the case. You were most concerned about if their breathing was okay. You didn’t even get to see Axel since you remembered them saying that they needed to intubate him immediately when he came out.

You couldn’t even imagine how Jack was for the past few days and that hurt your heart to no end not knowing if his wife was going to live or not.

“They have one strong mama and your husband has one strong wife. You fought tooth and nail in order to get back to them.” Lydia quietly said as she wiped away your tears.

“I’m going to go get the doctor so we can see about taking the breathing tube out. I will be right back and your husband should be back soon.”

All you could do was nod as she left the room and as promised, less than ten minutes later you had dozed off once again and suddenly heard Jack’s footsteps. You peeked your eyes open to see him carrying a huge bear and setting it in the corner before coming over to you.

As soon as he was within reach, you grabbed his hand and squeezed it as tight as you could startling him.

“Baby! You’re okay… I…..” Jack started to say as he leaned over to kiss the top of your head and give you a hug as best as he could with all the different equipment in the way.

You lost count of how many kisses he placed over your face, but of course you didn’t care.

“I thought that I was going to lose you. Your heart stopped twice." Jack quietly said through his tears and you couldn’t help but to start crying again yourself.

“One minute you were talking to me and then I don’t even know what happened. Despite everything that has happened in the past year, you know for a damn fact that I don’t want to be in this life without you. I love you more than I can even put into words. And what we made are absolutely beautiful. Ivy is doing okay, but still on oxygen and all three are in the incubator. Axel still has the breathing tube and Autumn is the feisty one that keeps taking the oxygen off. I’ve been going back and forth between you and them since everything happened.”

You saw Lydia come back in the room with who you assumed was the doctor and she was all smiles which indicated to you that you were about to get this tube out of your throat.

“Okay we're going to turn off the ventilator and I'm going to suction your mouth for any mucus or anything. Once we take out the tube, we need you to take a deep breath. It's going to feel weird since now you have to breathe on your own after four days."

You simply looked over at Jack and he nodded his head.

You had missed the first four days of your triplets life and would never be able to get that back.

Once the tube was out you were finally able to take a deep breath and as Lydia told you it felt weird as if you weren't getting enough air.

"We're going to put you on high flow oxygen and then eventually decrease you down until you don't need it anymore.

"Okay." You quietly said and it came out almost as a whisper, but Jack was just glad to hear your voice.

They took your vitals and watched you for a few minutes before explaining that they would start you on liquids and you would eventually move up to a regular diet as soon as the speech therapist evaluated you.

When the two of them left the room, it was once again only you and Jack and he didn’t want to leave your sight.

He moved his chair closer to you as you reached over to play in his curls.

"I….read the letter you wrote for me. As soon as I told Urb what had happened, he didn't even hesitate to give it to me, not knowing how everything was going to play out. I’m not sure if he gave anyone else theirs or if he even read his, but he felt that it was important to read mine and for good reason.”

"The thought came to me to do it a few weeks ago."

“It’s almost like you knew.”

“I just thought it was important that I do it. Like I said one baby is dangerous but adding two more to that?”

“He also told me that if it came down to it, you wanted me to save them and not you.”

At that point you looked away from your husband and was now more interested in the pink and blue nail polish that was covering your fingers for your one boy and two girls.

“I’ve lived already and they haven’t.”

“You’ve barely lived. You’re 24.”

“But still, I knew that as much as Urban didn’t want to hear that, he was going to be strong enough to fulfill my wishes if you weren’t. I knew that making that decision would be impossible for you so I asked him to do it. I know that you wouldn’t want to be without me but, I’ll be damned if you were going to lose another child. That would have broken you.”

“If it went either way it would have broken me. So I’m happy that I didn’t have to make that decision. I couldn’t imagine you going through this entire pregnancy and not even being able to see them grow up.”

“I know.” You quietly answered and immediately sighed.

“What’s on your mind besides wanting to see them?”

“I’m just extremely overwhelmed. My body just went through a lot and I know it’s not ever going to be the same again. I mean it’s obvious that it never will be, but still.”

“And we’re going to get through this one day at a time. I will be with you every step of the way to help you through this. I love you and nothing is ever going to change that.”

“I love you too and thank you for that.”

“You don’t ever have to thank me for doing my job as your husband.” Jack softly answered you as he leaned over to kiss you and you couldn’t help but to smile.

You heard a soft knock and in walked Lydia with the biggest smile on her face.

“Are you ready to see your triplets?”

You eagerly nodded as she walked over towards you to unhook you from your IV fluids and help you get in the wheelchair in order to take you over to see them.

You weren’t sure why, but now you had suddenly become nervous. Jack had already warned you that all three of them were in an incubator and Axel still had a breathing tube since he wasn’t able to breathe on his own quite yet. Even with all that he told you, you still didn’t feel ready, however, it was now or never. This was your reality and you had to see it through along with Jack. You felt as if your heart was about to beat out of your chest.

Lydia grabbed a portable oxygen tank so that you would be able to keep it in your nose to help you get used to breathing on your own again while also giving you pain medicine since she knew your first time up was going to be the hardest.

Once she was finished setting everything up, she helped you to sit and dangle on the side of the bed and you felt as if someone ripped you in half.

Well, they did.

Literally.

“Shit, this hurts.” You muttered and you weren’t quite sure where to pinpoint the pain, your chest from them doing compressions on you or your actual incision site.

“You did the hard part, mama. It’s going to hurt, no doubt about that but it will get better with the more that you move around. Sit there for a few seconds on the side of the bed before I help you over to the wheelchair.”

You nodded in response and did as you were told before she helped you to stand up and maneuver towards it praying that you wouldn’t suddenly get dizzy or lightheaded.

Once you were settled, the three of you then made your way to the NICU.

It didn’t take long seeing as it was on the floor right below where you were in the intensive care unit right next to the postpartum unit where you were hoping to be soon once you were able to get a little bit stronger.

“And here we are. I know that they are just as excited to see you as you are to see them. They have the best doctors and nurses taking care of them.

Upon arriving, Lydia explained the need to do a surgical scrub of your hands and arms before entering not wanting any unnecessary germs causing harm to any of the babies.

Once she wheeled you into the room with Jack following close behind, you immediately knew which three were yours even if you saw them for mere seconds and one of them you hadn’t seen at all.

You were in front of Axel first and saw his tiny body taking small breaths and took in the sight of his curly hair that resembled Jack’s.

So that definitely explained the heartburn that you had throughout the entire time that you were pregnant with them.

You looked to Lydia to see if it was okay if you reached your hand in to touch him and she simply nodded.

Once you did, he immediately grabbed a hold of your finger as if telling you that he was okay.

“You have to admit that we made some cute babies.” Jack said as he leaned down to whisper in your ear and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“True, but looking at Axel, I did most of the work.”

“I-... okay not arguing because I don’t want to end up sleeping on the couch.”

“Smart man.”

When Axel let your finger go, Ivy was next to him while Autumn was next to her on the end and looked over to see exactly what Jack was saying about her taking her oxygen off because she was fiddling with it. A few tears escaped, but you were in no way, shape, or form sad.

You were happy.

You lived to be able to see your triplets grow up and couldn’t wait to see what was in store for them and the amazing things that they would do.

“Babe, you okay?” Jack asked while peering down at you and seeing your face.

This time there was absolutely no hesitation in your answer.

“I’m more than okay, I’m happy.”

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#jack harlow #jack harlow fic #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x black reader #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow fanfiction

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foxes-that-run · 5 months

Text

The Prophecy

The Prophecy is about Taylor being sad to be alone, feeling like she is fated to be and pleading for it to end differently. It samples, or copies the melody of Stevie Nicks Landslide, which Harry has performed with Stevie twice, including on Taylor's birthday for the Fine Line release. Stevie also wrote a poem for TTPD.

In the Archer Taylor first touched on the idea that "All my Heroes die alone". Referring to her long love of famous couples and artists. In particular Burton and Taylor who she has likened herself and Harry to in Wildest Dreams, Ready for It, and in this record referred to again in 'Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?'. Harry has also likened them to another doomed couple of Joni Mitchell and Graham Nash in Canyon Moon. Here Taylor is pleading to have a happy ending, unlike these famous couples, similar to in Cardigan with "I knew you / Tried to change the ending / Peter losing Wendy"

Taylor also referenced the Perfect music Video in the Lyric Video. A song about ending their relationship and a song about being scared to end up alone.

Landslide

The Prophecy samples or copies the melody of Landslide. A song Stevie Nicks wrote, that established the sound of Fleetwood Mac. Stevie has said it is song was about her romance with bandmate Lindsey Buckingham and their career struggles, as well as her relationship with her business-executive father. Very similar to themes in TTPD and The Prophecy. This mash up of them is good.

Lyrics

(1, 2, 3) Hand on the throttle Thought I caught lightning in a bottle Oh, but it's gone again And it was written I got cursed like Eve got bitten Oh, was it punishment?

The count in is left in the final track, counting up and down is in many Haylor songs as lyrics

A throttle controls the air in an engine, here Taylor means she is slowing down. (In So High School's full throttle means full speed ahead, this is slowing down.

'Thought I caught lightening in the bottle, but it's gone again' is a rare feat, finding a thrilling love. There’s a connotation of wanting to hold onto and display something ephemeral. Gone again - Taylor thought had come back, but lost. (not a never eventuated love, or a long term one, but a thrilling one returned) it reminds me of:

The 1: "I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn't though"

Lighting is in 2 songs, both referring to Taylor, but also camera flashes in TIWYCF. Here the meaning is the rarest of electric loves.

Shake It Off: I never miss a beat, I’m lightning on my feet

This Is What You Came For: Baby, this is what you came for, lightning strikes every time she moves

The end of this verse is Taylor referring to a 'written' as in decided prophecy that she will end up alone. She feels cursed or that she is being punished and isn't allowed love.

Written is also a Haylor theme, and this line is reminiscent of 1D/Harry's Something Great "The script was written and I could not change a thing / I want to rip it all to shreds and start again"

Pad around when I get home I guess a lesser woman would've lost hope A greater woman wouldn't beg But I looked to the sky and said

Taylor didn't refer to 'woman' before Folklore, I think telling of maturity. As well as crushing, this lyric reminds me of Mastermind "You see, all the wisest women had to do it this way". Here Taylor sees her strength is keeping her going and willing to set aside dignity to plead for what she really.

Looked to the sky could be seen as prayer, or also clouds/sky appear in a lot of their videos. In Me! Taylor walks in clouds, Late Night Talking Harry falls from them. Story of My Life Harry says running after her is like chasing them. In Daylight Harry is climbing down from them and Lavender Haze in Eras she climbs up to them.

Please I've been on my knees Change the prophecy Don't want money Just someone who wants my company Let it once be me Who do I have to speak to About if they can redo The prophecy?

There is a thread in Taylors work of speaking about love like religion, here she is begging in much the same way she did in:

Don’t Blame Me: If you walk away I’d beg you on my knees to stay

This Love: Your smile, my ghost, I fell to my knees

The secret message of 1989's track 5, All You Had to do Was Stay was "they paid the price" which is a theme in 12 of Harry and Taylor's songs to each other. Most relevant to this lyric is MFASR on Harry's House, where Harry implored his muse to love him and not worry about their career:

Music for a Sushi Restaurant "I don't want you to get lost / I don't want you to go broke / I want you" and "I'm not going to get lost / I'm not going to go broke / Staying cool / (Know I love you, babe)"

Here Taylor is saying she doesn't want money (which she has an abundance of) she just wants someone to love her. (a gut punch indeed) It is a similar theme to But Daddy I love Him where Taylor felt she gave love up for her voice.

Cards on the table Mine play out like fools in a fable, oh It was sinking in Slow is the quicksand Poison blood from the wound of the pricked hand Oh, still I dream of him

In this verse Taylor is putting aside past pretences of being nonchalant and admitting she's stuck on a past love, trapped in a slow quicksand and cannot heal from the wound of losing them. It is densely packed with references to bear with me on this one.

Taylor has referred to hiding cards, and playing games with her muse in the past. Here she is putting them on the table and being honest. With fools (many mentions) in a fable (folklore) and a call back to Treacherous!!

Cards on the table, they were previously hidden by her or the muse in Say don't go: "I'm tryna see the cards that you won't show" (what a great call back for this song).

Slow is the quicksand, is a call back to Treacherous "And I'd be smart to walk away / But you're quicksand"

"Poison blood from the wound of the pricked hand" - what a lyric, I love it. Taylor is saying she has been wounded, she cannot heal from the loss.

Poison from a lover is in Getaway Car (He poisoned the well, I was lyin' to myself)

Blood is a Haylor theme that means a wound from love. I will go with Say Don't Go which is already this verse "Walk away and leave me bleedin', bleedin'?"

Finally hand is also a theme, with the imagery here I think she is saying her hand was wounded from holding it out. I like the prick reference which is, probably not intended, but reminds me of Kiwi "she goes home to a cactus" (a prick)

She still dreams of him, Dreams are in Wildest Dreams and Gold Rush "I can’t dare to dream about you anymore"

And I sound like an infant Feeling like the very last drops of an ink pen A greater woman stays cool But I howl like a wolf at the moon And I look unstable Gathered with a coven round a sorceress' table A greater woman has faith But even statues crumble if they're made to wait I'm so afraid I sealed my fate No sign of soulmates I'm just a paperweight In shades of greige Spending my last coin so someone will tell me It'll be ok Please

This verse is Taylor loosing hope and becoming more distraught. She refers to wolves and covens which appeared in the lyric video for out of the woods and willow respectively. She also has wolves in daylight:

Daylight “Maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down”

She refers to earlier in the song where she compared herself to the idea of what a woman should do, here a greater woman would have faith. She ends with referring to other songs on the record with themes of griege and grey, describing herself as a paperweight. Although a billionaire saying her last coin is on the nose, the concept of her desperation to hear it will be ok is not.

#the prophecy #TTPD #Taylor Swift #Haylor #the tortured poets department #song analysis #Lyric analysis

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makeitmingi · 1 year

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Cause Baby You're My Muse [Chapter 31]

Genre: Romance, Idol!AU, Music, Slight angst

Pairing: Mingi x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Producer!Reader, IdolLyricist!Mingi, IdolProducer!Hongjoong, Idol!Seonghwa, Idol!Yunho, Idol!Wooyoung, Idol!San, Idol!Yeosang, Idol!Jongho, cameo(s) by other celebrities

Summary: You always preferred producing underground, having an unknown face and governed by your own rules. But when you start freelancing for idol groups, you say goodbye to your lone wolf lifestyle as you learn to work with idol producers and lyricists.

Word count: 3.2K

With the main title song completed and approved, the Ateez boys had been busy learning the choreography and practicing. You were working with the other producers on the other songs that would be in the album too.

"Before I go, Indigo. I wanted to speak to you." Eden said. You turned away from your computer to face him.

"So I am aware that you have been in a relationship with Mingi for a while now." He stated. At his words, your stomach sank and your heart stopped.

"I-I... I'm so sorry, Eden." You shook your head, standing up and bow repeatedly to him.

"There's no need to apologise, Indigo." Eden said. You still didn't feel calmed down, looking at the conflicted look on his face.

"As a friend, I congratulate the both of you. But as your senior... I would caution the both of you to be careful with how you act around each other in the presence of others." Eden advised.

"We will be more careful, Eden." You promised.

"With the comeback coming up and you just starting your career outside of the underground scene and you know Mingi had some heat for taking a few breaks, I would hate for things to get ugly and out of hand. If you know what I mean..." He hinted. You nodded, fully aware of what he meant without him needing to say it.

"Ateez doesn't have a dating ban. From the start, it was always established by the management but you know how scary some fans can be." He said.

"No matter what, I would always put Mingi before myself. As long as he is safe and unharmed, I will take the heat for it." You said with determination. Eden gave a nod.

"I won't tell the management. It's not my place to tell." Eden sighed.

"Thank you." You bowed. You didn't bother asking Eden how he knew because it didn't matter to you at this point, he already knew.

"But you do know that when it comes down to it, the company has to choose to protect their artist." He said. That was fine, in fact, you would prefer them to protect Ateez and Mingi over you.

"Of course I hope it doesn't get to that point. You have a really bright future and career as a producer Indigo. I would hate for you to disappear underground again. There's so much more you can do above ground." He chuckled.

"Thank you for saying that. I won't let it get to that point, I promise. For Ateez and Mingi's safety and career. They've been through too much to be scrutinised again." You said.

"You're really selfless, Indigo. Willing to forgo your career for them." He raised an eyebrow.

"That's what love does, I guess. Not just between Mingi and I but with all the Ateez boys. They grow on you." You giggled.

"I understand that." He nodded, having ben there.

"Plus, Mingi's been happier. You can tell when you look at him and work with him. He's more productive and more positive, in terms of his anxiety too." He smiled.

"That's all him. It has nothing to do with me." You shook your head, not wanting to take any of that credit away from Mingi. Even if Eden disagreed, he didn't correct you. He merely nodded his head.

"Alright, that's the busy work senior side. But as a friend, I'm happy for you and Mingi. Congratulations." Eden chuckled, standing up to give you a hug. You laughed along and wrapped your arms around him. When he moved to leave your studio and let you get back to work, you stopped him.

"Actually, there's something else I need to talk to you about..." You chewed on your bottom lip.

Mingi yawned, coming out of his room. He massaged his shoulder as he walked to the kitchen, feeling the ache from the long hours of dance practice.

"Captain." Mingi bowed his head, acknowledging the male.

"Mingi ah..." Hongjoong started. Mingi hummed in question as he faced the fridge, looking for a cold drink.

"Eden knows about you and Indigo..." Mingi stopped at Hongjoong's words. His eyes widened as he closed the fridge and turned around to face him properly.

"What did you say?" Mingi asked, hoping he heard wrongly.

"Eden knows about your relationship. I'm giving you a heads up. I told you two to be more careful." Hongjoong frowned slightly. He didn't want to lecture Mingi for being physical with you when you were dating but he was the leader of the group, he had to think about how this would affect everyone.

"We are careful, hyung. Indigo sets very strict boundaries when we're at work." Mingi argued.

"Well, you were obviously not careful enough for people outside the group to now know." Hongjoong pointed out. There was no point in arguing when it was the truth.

"Is he going to tell?" He cast Hongjoong a side glance.

"No, he won't. But he asked me if I knew and how long have I known." Hongjoong crossed his arms. Mingi let out a sigh of relief.

"But we don't have a dating ban, hyung. The fans knew that since we debuted and would expect it, sooner or later. It could be any one of us." Mingi reasoned.

"Yes, they may expect it. But that doesn't mean they will react well to it. We're talking about safety here, Mingi ah. Not just yours but Indigo's, Haneul's, your family's, even the rest of the other members." Hongjoong said.

"I'm only saying this because I want to know if you and Indigo are prepared." Hongjoong sighed.

"Prepared for?" Mingi asked quizically.

"The worst. If the company finds out and when the fans find out. What sacrifices are you going to make? Where do your priorities lie? Where does Indigo play into all this?" He explained.

"Whatever it is, Indigo is my priority. I promised her that I'll keep her and Haneul safe. That's the bottom line." Mingi said firmly.

"I won't let all this harm the members, hyung. If anything happens, this is all on me and me only. I'll take whatever blame and responsibility." He added.

"Let's hope it doesn't get to that point then." Hongjoong looked at Mingi with knowing eyes.

The captain didn't say much more and left the kitchen. While he was proud of Mingi for being courageous and putting you before himself and his career, Hongjoong was worried. He treasured the both of you like his younger siblings, he wouldn't want to lose any of you because of a scandal like this.

"Mingi ah. You okay?" Yunho, having heard the whole conversation, emerged from behind the wall.

"Mhmm. I'm fine." Mingi lied through his teeth. He clenched his jaw, turning around to face the fridge, stoically getting an iced coffee out to drink.

"You know Hongjoong hyung is worried about both you and Indigo. It's hard for him." Yunho said. Mingi nodded glumly.

"We're with you. Whatever you need." Yunho reminded.

"Thanks, Yun." Mingi gave a nod.

"I'm going to call her and tell her. If Eden hyung hasn't spoken to her, she should at least know that he knows and be prepared for it." Mingi stated and walked out of the kitchen.

Yunho looked at Mingi's retreating back. He was worried for his best friend. Mingi has become genuinely happier after being with you. But if your relationship were to get out, the whole group would suffer with the two of you suffering the most.

"Hey. Can you talk?" Mingi pressed the phone to his ear.

"Yeah... I was actually just about to call you but I got held up at my meeting." From the tone of your voice, Mingi already knew that you knew.

"I'm guessing Eden already spoke to you?" He asked. There was a short pause before the sigh and the hum from you.

"Are you okay?" He asked further.

"I am. Don't worry. We just have to be more careful in the future. And Eden said he's not going to tell the management. We can't let things get out of hand." You were trying to sound calm and positive.

"How much more careful can we be? I already barely see you and we work in the same building." Mingi openly expressed his frustration.

"I know that. We don't have a choice now, do we, Mings? We're lucky that it's Eden this time, someone we're both close to. Had it been another staff member we're not familiar with, who knows what they could do? Them telling the management would be the least of our worries at that point."

"You're right. I'm sorry." Mingi sighed.

"No need to be sorry, Mings. We're both scared but it's going to be okay. We'll be okay." You promised. Mingi hated that you had to calm him down when you were probably feeling the same way as him.

"We'll work together. Just please... Please don't leave me." Mingi caved and let his real fear show.

"I won't, Mings."

"Okay, I'll let you go back to work. I just wanted to make sure you're okay. I'll see you tonight?" He said. Mingi was going to come over when his practice ended.

"Sure. And thanks for checking in, I'm glad we talked right away. Yes, I'll see you after your practice tonight."

"I love you." Mingi blurted.

"I love you too." You chuckled and hung up.

Mingi dropped onto his bed as he stared at the ceiling. He turned his head to see the photo of you on his nightstand. You didn't know he had this photo because he had taken it secretly. You were looking out the window with a soft smile on your face.

"Beautiful." Mingi said softly, a small smile of adoration appearing on his face. He was worried you would run away because he wanted to run away. But he couldn't do that to you and the others.

"Everyone get ready for practice!" Hongjoong's yelling sounded out through the dorm.

"I'll see you later." Mingi kissed the photo and went to change.

"I'm pumped and ready!" Wooyoung jumped up and down. From the demeanour and behaviour of the others, Mingi's guessing that they don't know what happened.

"I think Atiny will like the songs and dance." Yeosang smiled.

"And we have two songs! One title and one performance song. Double kill." San made slicing actions with his hands.

"Of course they will like it. This song was made by the amazing brain of Producer Indigo." Jongho scoffed. Once everyone was accounted for, Hongjoong ushered everyone out. They climbed into their vans, driven by their managers. Mingi put his AirPods in, keeping his cap low as he let the music drown out his thoughts.

"I miss Indigo. We've all been so busy, we work in the same building but it's like two separate countries." Wooyoung shook his head with a click of his tongue.

"Mangi ah. Have you seen her recently? Or spoken to her?" Wooyoung sat up in his seat.

"I haven't seen her. We called but she's busy and we don't want to disturb each other." Mingi replied. Seeing Mingi put his AirPod back on, Wooyoung nudged Yunho and threw a nod over to Mingi.

"He was up working on lyrics so he's tired." Yunho smoothly lied.

"Juggling producing and performing is not easy." San shook his head, looking at Mingi with sympathy.

When the vans pulled up, the boys all stepped out. They piled into the lift and headed up to the dance studio. While waiting for their choreography team, they spread apart to start warming up on their own. When the door opened, their CEO walked in.

"CEO Kim." All 8 of them stood up, going to where he was at the doorway and standing in a line to bow to him. The suited male smiled at the 8 of them.

"Hello, boys. Working hard on your comeback?" He asked.

"Yes." The 8 of them chimed. It was like they were all trainees, waiting to impress for the chance to debut.

"Good, good. I know all of you are hard workers. Indigo has proven to be an asset to the producing team." He nodded. Mingi couldn't help but stiffen when he mentioned you.

"Are you doing okay, Mingi?" He asked.

"Y-Yes, sir. I'm okay, thank you for your concern." Mingi bowed his head.

"That's good to hear. Ateez is the best when we have all 8 of you together." He said. Everyone nodded in agreement while Mingi let out a mental sigh of relief, the CEO hadn't noticed his slight reaction and was only referring to the break Mingi took from group activities because of his anxiety.

"Anyway, I just dropped by to say hello and see how you guys were coming along with practice. I'm going to meet with the producing team now. All the best boys." CEO Kim explained.

"Thank you." The 8 of them all bowed to him again.

"Thank you for dropping by, sir." Hongjoong stepped forward and shook his hand. Giving the captain a pat on the shoulder, the CEO left the practice studio.

"The CEO seems to like Indigo. That's good." Seonghwa smiled like a proud mother.

"Hyung, you look like a proud parent." Wooyoung snickered.

"I feel like one. Knowing that my child just got praised." Seonghwa clutched his heart, closing his eyes dramatically. They all continued warming up until the choreographer and his team came.

"Please take care of us." The 8 of them bowed.

"Likewise. Thank you for all the hard work you've been putting in everyone. Let's have another safe and productive dance practice session." The choreographer smile and everyone clapped, nodding in agreement. They picked up from where they left off.

You were working on the music tracks when your doorbell rang. You paused the music and stood up, going to the door. Your eyes widened when you saw the CEO and Eden there.

"CEO Kim." You immediately bowed deeply to greet him. In reality, your heart was pounding in your chest. Did he find out?

"Hi, Indigo. I just came to see how the progress of the tracks are." He smiled kindly.

"Oh, yes! Please, come in." You stepped aside to invite them in. As he walked past you, Eden squeezed your shoulder, a signal for you to breathe and calm down.

"So the title track is done. Which is the choreography that the group is learning now. We're finishing up the performance track and we should be done within the next 3 days." You explained.

"Okay. What about the b-side tracks? I want the b-side tracks to be just as good as the titles." He said.

"Of course, sir. I completely understand. We're still working on the editing for the b-side tracks. We just got the raw vocals for track 7 and will work on it to get it done as soon as possible." You said. You were glad you wore your mask now so that it could hide your nervous, fearful expression.

"Alright. Good to see the tracks coming along well and on schedule. You really impressed me and the board with your track submissions. Eden did a good job bringing you in." He complimented.

"Ah, thank you." You bowed awkwardly.

"Would you consider signing on full time as a producer here? I think you have a lot to offer." He asked.

"I-I... I appreciate you thinking so highly of me, sir. If it's okay with you, I would like to just focus on this comeback first before deciding anything." You rubbed the back of your neck.

"That's a good mindset. I hope you will consider that as an option. Terms and conditions are flexible. We'll protect your identity if necessary." He promised.

"I'll keep that in mind, sir. Thank you."

"Yes, we'll definitely speak again after the comeback." He patted your shoulder. You nodded with a meek smile.

"Make sure to give the names of the members that worked on the tracks to the marketing and promotion department. The fans like seeing that, shows that the boys are a part of the writing and producing process." CEO Kim said to you and Eden.

"Of course." You both replied.

"I won't hold you for too long. It was nice speaking with you, Indigo. I wish you all the best and thank you for working hard on this comeback." He held his hand out to shake.

"Thank you for giving me this opportunity and for putting so much trust in me." You shook his hand.

"Let's discuss more in your office, Eden." He turned to your senior. You walked the both of them to the door, bowing once again.

"Oh my gosh..." You leaned back against the closed door, sliding down from your legs just completely giving out. You let out a shaky breath, finally breathing normally again.

After working for a few more hours, you took a bus home. You made a really quick and simple dinner, setting aside a portion under some covers for Mingi to have in case he was hungry later. With music playing in the background, you ate your dinner and went to take a quick shower.

'Hey, baby. Sorry, I'm running a little late. Don't wait up! - Mings'

Seeing the message from him, you turned off the lights outside and went to your home studio to work.

'Thank you for your revised track for the OST. We will create the lyrics and discuss on the singer that will perform the track. If you have any recommendations, please let us know.

- Representative'

You leaned back in your chair and smiled happily, proud that they finally approve of the OST track. You did some light work until you felt tired. Honestly, you did want to wait for Mingi, to welcome him and hug him.

"Ateez... Mingi fancam." You searched on your phone and watched a compilation of Mingi on stage to try to keep yourself awake.

"Baby? I'm here." Mingi called out softly when he entered the house. He spoke softly, worried that you would be asleep already. The house was dark, except for one kitchen light you left on.

'Didn't know if you had dinner but I prepared something for you. I know you're watching your carbs so I put the meat in lettuce wraps instead. - Love, (y/n)'

Mingi melted at your note. He folded it carefully and tucked it into his bag, not wanting to lose it.

"Fix on!" Mingi heard his own voice coming from the bedroom and walked in to find you asleep. You were holding your phone.

"What's this?" He tilted his head to watch the video playing on your phone.

'Mingi Fancam Compilation #4'

He cupped his hand over his mouth to stop his laughter from escaping and waking you up. This really made his day, all the tiredness just dissipated. Mingi actually left the room to laugh in the living room on his own. Why did he think it was so endearing of you to watch videos of him when he wasn't around?

"I love you so much." Mingi leaned over you to kiss your forehead. He gently removed the phone from your grasp and charged it on your nightstand before going to shower.

Series Masterlist

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