#or the rhyming though that’s a little harder to get away with on account of the fact that I often overestimate how fond the average person

[tacit-semantics]

man how do you come up with fic titles? i just sit there staring at my newborn baby fic and don’t know what to name him. every time

See my personal favorite is to hit em with the worst pun I can feasibly manage but I’ll admit half the time it devolves into desperately scrolling through either a playlist or a list of common phrases (which I will then use to hit em with the worst pun I can feasibly manage) in the hopes that that’ll get the two brain cells sparking off each other aksksks

[euterpe-of-hesiod]

Chapter Seven from Part Two of The Ballad of a Linnet Bird:

Linnet sets off to Raleigh for a spelling bee with her foster parent. She writes a letter she can't send.

A year passed with Mama Eddie, a full seasons-turn. And as the cold crept over Charlotte again, that wind whipping the sides of those tall buildings, it crept into Linnet too. She was turning over herself, growing taller and getting lonesome. She would look back and wonder if it was just coincidence, or if it was the winter that froze over Linnet’s love for Mama Eddie and Drew just like that– with the snap of frost, the darkening of the days. 

A frozen love was still love though. In fact, frozen love is carefully preserved– set aside where nothing could touch it till the thaw comes. That was how Linnet dealt with her love. She put it to the side because running away from Mama Eddie would hurt too much if she kept the love on her lap.

But she had to leave. Couldn’t Mama Eddie and Drew see? Even a bird singing happily in its cage would still take to the sky if it saw a crack in the door. 

And when Linnet heard of the spelling bee, Linnet interpreted it as a sign from God. Her door was opening. 

Mrs. Jinnouchi, Linnet’s third grade teacher, talked about the spelling bee at the beginning of the year, trying to whip up the class into excitement by dangling the big prize like candy. One lucky student could go all the way to the capital of North Carolina to compete in that state-wide competition and get a chance at $1000. Everyone whooped and hollered at that amount of money, unthinkable to a class of third-graders. Every kid set to dreaming right away about the stuff they could buy: the brand new Xbox, a skateboard, money for college–

Linnet just looked out the window, to that blue sky beckoning. Sapphire. Sapphire, Sapphire, sang out her heart. That was gonna be her chance.

That autumn, Linnet studied harder than ever before. She poured herself over Mama Eddie’s big Oxford Dictionary. While making supper, Mama Eddie would call out words to her and Linnet would chirp out every letter, feeling the music in each one. That was how she started to look at words: each word a little song, each letter a separate instrument. Add them together in that perfect order and you made meaning. The parts were stronger together.  

She had favorite words too. 

Emblem. That was a word for humming. 

Mysterious. That was a tall, regal word, reminding her of Sugar Mountain. 

Tribulation. She liked how that word rhymed with celebration, which was how she remembered its spelling at the end– and remembered that at the end of great suffering, there was strength, even joy. 

Spelling day came, and first Linnet smashed her class. Then she went up against the other third-graders, and she smashed them too. A month later, she’d won the Charlotte Spelling Bee for the third-graders. 

She was set for Raleigh. 

Mama Eddie couldn’t have been more proud of her. On that day, she took Linnet and Drew out to Applebee’s and told them they could whatever they wanted, even sodas, which she normally never bought on account of it rotting kids’ teeth. Drew had a Coke and Linnet got a root beer float. She slurped the whole thing down before dinner arrived, and toward the end, the cool sweetness started to hurt her teeth alright, then settled in her stomach heavy and sour. She couldn’t really enjoy it because she didn't actually deserve it. Because she was a liar. 

But Linnet put that feeling aside too. She was set to Raleigh. By the Ruling Days, she’d have her baby sister in her arms, Charlotte at her back, and Sugar Mountain welcoming her home.

*

Mama Eddie, Drew, and Linnet went to Raleigh by train. As they pulled in, Drew got to singing this song called ‘Wagon Wheel,’ that Linnet had never heard before. It lifted her heart. She wiggled in the seat as she watched that train slow, slow, and then stop. Here they were. Linnet had never been farther from her mountain yet closer to her home at the same time. How could those two things be true? She hopped off the train and twirled there on the platform, hooting at Mama Eddie and Drew to hurry on up! She had a spelling bee to win! 

Mama Eddie wheezed at her to slow her roll. “This ol’ hip’s rustier than the damn train tracks!”

“Shoot, this place ain’t much,” said Drew, putting a hand over his eyes as he squinted at the buildings. 

Linnet also cast her eyes up. She had grown used to the Charlotte skyline, a land of metal mountains. There were skyscrapers here too, but not nearly as many, and not nearly as high. Immediately, Raleigh seemed friendlier to her. It was an approachable kind of city of brick and mortar, old and worn-in like good shoes. Just being here calmed the fear she’d carried with her for over a year now, when Sapphire was taken from her. Maybe Raleigh had been kinder to her sister too. Maybe it wasn’t so bad, even if it wasn’t their land. 

After settling into their hotel, Mama Eddie decided they should see more of the city, considering it was the capital and everything. It was a history lesson. She paid for them to get in the shiniest red trolley Linnet had ever seen. Seriously, it put fire engines to shame, with that deep red polish of brand new paint on it! They got in and chugged through downtown with a sweet old man narrating about places that were lost, and places that still stood strong. 

Mama Eddie kept whistling and saying, “We should go there,” after the old man mentioned the science museum, then the art museum, then the old Capitol, then the Warehouse District.

“Mama Eddie, you wanna go everywhere!” Linnet exclaimed. 

“Well, where do you wanna go, Linnet? You’re the star of the weekend!” said Mama Eddie. “And you too, Drew. You each pick something.” 

“I wanna see the PNC Arena,” said Drew. 

I wanna see my sister, thought Linnet. But she knew better than to say that outloud. So she raised her hand and the old man called on her. “Where do you go if you wanna hear some good music?” she asked. 

“Good question, miss. That’s gotta be the Performing Arts Center. But if you want the good stuff, go find the office of the Pinecone-Piedmont Council of Traditional Music. They’re the ones keeping our music history alive.” 

“Sounds educational,” confirmed Mama Eddie in an approving tone (meanwhile, Drew was groaning. He thought all this history stuff was boring). She set a hand on Linnet’s shoulder. “We’ll see to it.” 

*

Unfortunately, Mama Eddie tired easily due to her age and her hip. After the trolley tour and eating at McDonalds, they had to go back to their hotel room so she could take a nap. Drew went straight to playing games on his phone. Linnet, though, sat by the window and looked out at the city, with a postcard in her hand. While on that trolley, she had started thinking about Paul again

Linnet thought about Paul a lot, but she was good at pulling the blinds on those thoughts too. It was painful as digging at a splinter to linger on him, you see. Because if she thought about Paul– and a lot of those times, those thoughts started as questions, like I wonder what Paul is doing or I wonder if Paul would get on with Drew or I wonder if Paul could spell catastrophe– then those thoughts took her down the river to Sugar Holler. Then she’d start thinking of all her friends, her kin, her maw and her paw, and her lost way of living. She’d get so down it was hard to get out of bed. So when those thoughts started, she had to stop them.

But today, she had thought of Paul, and it didn’t make her heavy. She had hope, she supposed– Sapphire so close now she could allow herself to dream of seeing him and Sugar Holler again.

So right now for the first time in more than a year, she decided to write him a letter using that postcard she’d picked up in the hotel lobby, Mama Eddie giving her the four dollars for it. Linnet took the hotel pen and tried to write as tiny as possible to fit everything she was feeling onto it. 

Dear Paul, 

I’m not sure where to send this postcard, so I don’t think you’ll be getting this. But still, I’m sending my thoughts up into the air for the clouds to catch. I hope those clouds will drift your way and rain all my thinking down on you. First, I wanna say I’m sorry that I haven’t written you until this point. I know it’s been a long time. I know you miss me. I miss you too.

Paul, would you believe I’m in Raleigh? You wouldn’t believe all the places I’ve been, I’m sure. I’ve been up and down between Boone and Charlotte, basically. I’ve seen a ton of different towns, plus the good and the bad. Not a single place compares to our Sugar Holler though. In my mind, I can picture it perfect. The clouds like a hat on top of our mountain. That Sugar Orange and Sugar Yellow in the fall, different from all other oranges and yellows in the whole wide world. The dogwoods in the maker market. Seasons, I miss her so bad.

Is she still our incomparable Sugar Mountain? (You like that word, incomparable? It’s for my spelling bee.) Or has the power plant just ruined everything? I got nightmares about that blue sky turning black with smoke and shit. Sure hope it’s not though. Maybe you fought back and won. I wish I knew. 

Also Paul, I met a boy named Drew who I think you’d like. He is a good brother to me, unlike your brother. If we ever meet again, I’m gonna share him with you. So if you do get this, through a miracle, or the wind, or God, please find me. Though I’m headed to you soon as tomorrow comes and I got the money from this spelling bee. I’ll pick up Sapphire and fly outta here. My tribulations will soon come to an end. You like that word too? I learned it for one thousand dollars. I’ll share what I got left with you, to help you out too.

Love,

Linnet

Linnet slipped the postcard under her pillow and went to bed. For the first time since the winter came, she slept soundly.

[sandrockbandit]

it's 1am time for assorted logan thoughts. spoilers

• tbh the reveal of his Backstory startled me all sorts because i had taken him to be a more deliberate agent of chaos than he ended up being. i Really was here for Evil Cowboy...

• ... but what you end up getting is just kinda sad. not even exclusively tragic? it almost felt pitiful in a way. this character exists as he does because of a dumb rash series of well-intentioned decisions. there was no rhyme or reason to it and no one wanted it, no one is happy with the way things turned out, including him. i really want him to get therapy, man. im fond of him in an irate kinda way

• i think exploring his character re: culpability would be a really fun thing to write. not necessarily redemption - that doesn't quite suit him i think. that may be my personal fatigue with Redemption as a popular concept though it might actually suit him very well

• but bc by all accounts, one of the people left most hurt by what he did is logan himself. howlett was well-respected and liked, but many spoke of him in terms of how mercenary he was; no one was as dependent on howlett or loved him as much as his son. he wounded himself a lot for his fear and desperation, both with the loss of his father and the loss of his place in sandrock

• bc logan is irrationally sentimental! he throws it all away to get to his dad and pins up a child's drawing close to the bed like it means something and puts his all into solving his people's problems and

• .......... hm. prequel anakin...

• he doesn't strike me as. particularly experienced. i don't think he's fully mastered any of his skills quite yet but he's getting there. he really Feels like a young man who's lost his way and is still knocked off-kilter and suppressing grief and who is also really defensive about it

• but he's acting the part as best he can. boy is playing the part of purposeful rogue like his life depends on it

• logan pre-tragedy is described w words like "polite," "kind of ornery," "goodie two-shoes" - honest if a little aloof and an all-around decent man. probably a little harder to see that w the crimes and all but, like, he's still got basic manners. that "good day" before bailing was a little iconic imho

• i make the jokes abt it but definitely he was good enough at what he does to warrant justice offering him the deputy hat! that doesn't mean much though bc justice also gives the player honorary deputy status for, like, no reason. and he promoted a cat.

• i do imagine that logan has a keen eye for logistics and stealth and casing areas. boy keeps slipping into town and causing a ruckus and leaving immediately. he Chooses to be loud but the fact that he knows how to avoid traffic-heavy routes on town speaks to a cleverness on this front. he's well aware of how to be lowkey i just think he does not want to

• also the fact that there were a ton of books in his room - far more than i would imagine being strictly medical texts - speak to him being an avid writer or reader. is the boy an arthur morgan chronicling type or an adventure story aficionado? who knows

• but he is sure willing to take a crack at Anything that matters to him with everything he's got, including medicine

• circling back to Culpability it's so clear that he can't handle shouldering all the blame and he's still trying to take it out on the town like. the thought process. he must be a heck of an unreliable narrator. many thoughts. many thoughts ,

• also only vaguely related but when qi was out here diagnosing logan despite not being That Kind of Doctor in true tiktok fashion that was really funny. what gives qi

• if i ever were to get to the point where i can make an animatic i would want to do one with logan to a stanza or two of The Pantheon (Ain't Gonna Catch You) from bastion. they ain't gonna hear you, son, don't care 'bout what you done indeed. okay bye

[shihalyfie]

The difference between the Adventure group’s and the 02 group’s respective relationships with their Digimon

Kizuna very prominently depicts a difference between the older six Adventure group members (Taichi, Yamato, Sora, Koushirou, Mimi, Jou) and the younger six 02 group members (Takeru, Hikari, Daisuke, Ken, Miyako, Iori) in terms of how they interact with their partners, and part of it is because of the strange relationship between Kizuna and 02′s themes, but, in fact, there had always been a rather subtle difference between said dynamics even since all the way back in 02, just exacerbated by the 02 group being the only ones to be able to open Digital Gates via their D-3s and the fact that the circumstances of the plot were a bit engineered to make the 02 group a bit more functional during its duration.

The image of “every human-Digimon partner pair hanging together all of the time even through mundane daily life events” is certainly romantic, but, in fact, the older Adventure group is not portrayed as a group that necessarily longs for such an arrangement, and the 02 group doing so is something they specifically do because of their own personalities. This is something very tied to the distinction between the Adventure and 02 groups’ respective ways of life and internal dynamics, and what it says about each individual group’s preferences of independence vs. mutual support.

Once Adventure’s finale hit and the Adventure group had their first bout of “separation” from their partners, thus began the “two-and-a-half year break”, in which the Adventure group had to suddenly accept separation from their partners after (what had been to them) months of being together all of the time. It’s an understandable feeling of loss! You “took something for granted” when it’d been with you all of the time, you made an incredible, important friend and suddenly had to part. That said, there are some nuances to this that need to be taken into account here:

Takeru and Hikari (who turn out to later become involved with the 02 group and take on their mentality) are the two most confident about their parting on the note of “we’ll definitely meet again, don’t worry about it, it’ll be okay,” which is a pretty obvious meta hint at 02 airing one week later, but also does say a bit that they’re the ones most hung up on the possible reunion.

The two-and-a-half year break is characterized not so much by a permanent and unbroken separation as much as the lack of ability for Taichi and his friends to meet up with Agumon and the other partners on a regular, controlled basis. They weren’t completely cut off from contact -- Taichi receiving a message from Agumon in the above-linked drama CD, Koushirou keeping in contact with Gennai regularly, the entire events of Our War Game!, the Adventure mini dramas (yes, those are canon), the 15th anniversary drama CD, and the reunion depicted in 02 episode 27′s flashback. Moreover, the way Koushirou approaches the Digital Gates in the early episodes of 02, along with Two-and-a-Half Break itself, makes it clear that the gates still did open sporadically, it’s just that, since there was no real rhyme or reason to them opening, meetups with partners weren’t something that could be coordinated smoothly. Given that, it’s not that surprising that Taichi met up with Agumon without altogether too much fanfare in 02 episode 1 -- it certainly wasn’t something he could have done often, but the two had met up a handful of times during the last two and a half years, so it’s understandable that it doesn’t necessarily merit a massively dramatic reunion, especially when there’s a crisis going on at the exact moment.

Once the events of 02 kicked off, the Adventure kids started having some touching reunions with their respective partners now that the 02 kids’ D-3s could provide reliable standbys for going in and out of the Digital World, and, of course, it’s natural that they’d be a bit emotional after their contact had been so disjointed (even though, as with Taichi, it’s not actually nearly as dramatic as one might expect), but once that’s out of the way...

Practicality suggests that the Adventure kids’ Digimon partners would choose to spend most of their time in the Digital World for the duration of 02...but, in fact, even that considered, the older Adventure kids really don’t seem that bothered to not get to see their partners every day of their lives. Granted, they of course presumably don’t want to constantly bother their juniors all of the time to open the gate for them, but Sora demonstrates in 02 episode 12 that she will grab them and go in if it’s urgent, so there’s no reason to believe they wouldn’t recruit the kids to open the gate for them if they wanted or needed it that badly. Moreover, the juniors being able to consistently open and close the gate means that constant communication and occasional meetups with their Digimon partners are more than possible -- recruiting one of their partners to do something on the other end isn't too hard anymore, given the events of 02 episode 32 or such -- and so, the “inconsistent, fleeting contact” that spanned the “two-and-a-half year break” is no longer a problem.

All things considered, if the older kids really wanted to create some kind of pipeline or arrangement so they could hang out with their partners on the daily like the 02 kids do, you’d think they (especially Koushirou) would try a little harder, but they don’t actually seem to treat it with much more urgency than having a really good friend who might be a bit of a slightly inconvenient bus ride away. The fact that they actually have reasonably consistent methods of access to see each other if they really want to is comfort in itself. Of course, when Christmas comes and the juniors arrange a situation for all of their seniors to see their partners again, it really is a Christmas gift, because of course there’s the joy of getting to see an incredibly treasured friend you don’t normally get to see in a while!...but even then, Taichi says that Agumon should at least stay for the holiday, with a completely casual tone that suggests he has absolutely no qualms or emotional hangups about the idea that Agumon’s going to have to return to the Digital World soon and they won’t have day-to-day contact anymore (it’ll just be nice if Agumon can stay for the rice cake soup).

In the end, this is actually...probably a pretty normal thing to expect. Digimon partners are “best friends” in ways that are a bit unusually beyond your average so-called “best friend”, in that they’re somewhat psychologically linked to their human partners and thus “get” them in ways an average human friend wouldn’t, but nevertheless, it’s not like everyone constantly wants to have their best friend with them every single moment of every single day; boundaries and independence are a thing, and even Miyako felt that it was appropriate to leave Poromon with Koushirou for the duration of her Kyoto trip in 02 episode 33. (In fact, if you squint carefully, there are times when even the 02 kids’ Digimon occasionally don’t accompany their partners; Patamon and Tailmon didn’t attend the soccer game in 02 episode 8.) Or, if you want to take this all the way back to Adventure, “needing space” from one’s own partner once in a while was lightly addressed when Tentomon deliberately recused himself from Koushirou having a heart-to-heart with his parents, because he understood Koushirou needed catharsis on his own terms (and we see Hawkmon and Tailmon even do the same for Miyako and Hikari in 02 episode 31). So when those best friends were placed in dubious places of contact and it became difficult to tell when they’d ever meet again, it was emotionally difficult in the same way being forcibly cut off from a treasured friend and not being allowed to see them regularly would hurt -- but once some degree of regular, guaranteed contact was established, and it was understood that they could meet up when they needed to, they could schedule that easily (and in fact there’s no evidence that the older Adventure group never made use of that during days in the year that weren’t depicted in 02 proper).

Not only that, the Digital World is also treated as having its own “will” and letting Chosen in as needed in 02 episode 22, thus implying that, even without the 02 kids’ D-3s as a fail-safe, it was getting more receptive to open gates in general; Koushirou had been keeping track of them and alerting other Chosen to whenever they opened naturally (including Mimi in 02 episode 14), allowing contact to continue on a more regular basis.

So why are the 02 kids and their Digimon so different? Since the incidents depicted in 02 didn’t impact the real world itself until late in the series, why didn’t they make an arrangement like their seniors where the kids would meet up with their partners in the Digital World after school, thus avoiding the trouble of having to hide them in school and pass them off as plushies everywhere? Well, the thing is, they almost had that kind of arrangement...and it lasted only one episode. It was made a prominent point in 02 episode 2 that even after meeting V-mon and barely getting to know him, Daisuke couldn’t get him out of his mind. Then, Miyako and Iori met their own partners, and when they all emerged, the 02 group’s partners themselves came out with them, with Tentomon and Piyomon being the ones to say that they’d rather stay behind for the time being. In other words, it wasn’t a question of practicality surrounding the territory war with the Kaiser -- the 02 group’s Digimon and humans themselves actually wanted to stick to each other this badly, even if it meant that the Digimon would be staying in in an unfamiliar world long-term (after all, the Digital World is still every Digimon’s natural home, so it’s possible that the older kids’ Digimon aren’t too enthused about the idea of staying in the real world for so long themselves).

In the end, the real reason the 02 group and their Digimon stick to each other so constantly through any and all situations has to do with their mentality. In the case of the Adventure group, while being trapped in another world gave them a sense of necessity in sticking together all of the time and thus created a bit of extra shock when sudden separation occurred, either way, said older group was a bit more independent-minded and was ultimately able to mentally adjust to returning to a status quo where they couldn’t expect to see their partners all of the time, and managed to build proper lives around that assumption. Even when their partners were regularly accessible, they were able to live their lives somewhat independently from each other (especially due to the difficulty of integrating Digimon into the real world at this stage), with the understanding that they still could meet each other whenever necessary for anything ranging from a dangerous incident to simply just wanting to get together and have a nice heart-to-heart. The 02 group, on the other hand, consisted of a group of slight misfits with some degree of socialization problems prior to the start of the series, who have mentalities based on “their relationship with others” moreso than independence; their group dynamic was based on a slight amount of dependence on mutual support rather than necessarily being able to sustain themselves on their own, and it thus follows that they and their like-minded partners would be a bit clingier as a result, because they’re more in need of that emotional support and company on a day-to-day basis.

Look at Daisuke, whose entire character has a lot to do with his need for validation and support from others; it’s very easy to imagine that prolonged separation from V-mon might outright cause them separation anxiety before long (remember Daisuke’s reaction to getting briefly separated from V-mon after only knowing him for less than a day in 02 episode 2!). Or Takeru and Hikari, who still are parsing a lot of really unresolved issues that weren’t actually properly addressed in Adventure (remember: they’re the ones who were only able to accept the idea of parting if they had certainty that they’d meet again, and Tailmon especially associates Hikari specifically with a life she couldn’t initially have). These kids dislike being separated from each other for too long, so it stands to reason that they’re going to dislike separation from their respective partners even less. 02 being a story about relationships means it’s a series about how people who have difficulty finding their answers by themselves find it through the support of others, and so, more latently, it’s only natural that it’ll extend to their partners, and that their partners, being somewhat like-minded, would reflect that by willingly choosing to leave the Digital World to cling to their partners, even in an unfamiliar world.

Of course, you could potentially chalk this up to sheer practicality, in that the 02 group had access to D-3s and were simply making use of their time together, or that the nature of the Digital World territory war eventually getting brought out into the real world guided their actions this way...but, in fact, Kizuna continues to double down on there being a distinct difference between these two.

Because Kizuna only gives us very “limited context” by showing us limited snippets of a few days instead of the whole eight months 02 spanned over, we’re forced to extract from only a very small “sample size” of interactions, but one thing the movie does make clear is that the Adventure and 02 groups are both roughly in the same boat in regards to what they can and can’t do regarding their partners and the Digital World. The “advantage” the 02 group had over their seniors in that they could easily open gates is no longer in play, because travel can happen at leisure even with the older group thanks to the smartphone terminals Koushirou’s made (the deluxe Blu-ray booklet confirms that it’s the smartphones doing it, so it’s not like Yamato’s referring to the ability to grab one of the 02 group members here). On top of that, Digimon have some degree of recognition in society, so it’s not too much of a big deal to have them in real life, and all of the Digimon partners are probably much more used to going back and forth and being familiar with both parts of society. And yet, despite that, there is a difference.

The main reason I so often urge people not to take the question of “who has partners present in the credits and who doesn’t” as a definitive statement of who’s lost their partners like Taichi, Yamato, and Sora have is that the opening does the same thing -- none of the Adventure group’s partners are depicted in the respective characters’ vicinity, even though we know at this point that none of them have full-on disappeared yet. Rather, when you think about it, it’s more that the point being made is that their partners aren’t with them all of the time -- just because the gates are easily opened by anyone in this cast now doesn’t mean that the Adventure characters decided to bring them home to live with them the way the 02 group did. Tentomon is not shown to be in the proximity of Koushirou in the movie’s initial scenes, nor in the opening, nor during his company negotiations, and it’s only during later events when he’s seen in the office. Palmon not being on the plane with Mimi may well mean that she’s not actually with her all of the time, mainly just working alongside her every so often, and Jou’s memorial short indicates that there’s a certain degree of partners acting independently now (especially now that they can operate in the real world without too much issue). Obviously, said Digimon partners are still hanging around and reasonably well-involved in their lives, but they’re not always next to them, and may be hanging around elsewhere in the real world or killing time in the Digital World -- but meanwhile, the number of times any of the 02 group is physically seen in the movie or To Sora without their partner totals at zero.

In the end, the distinction between the older Adventure group’s and the 02 group’s respective behavior may have been somewhat exacerbated by the gate-opening issue at first, but even when that was taken away, the 02 group’s tendency to cling to their partners and vice versa was just something endemic to themselves.

Again, since Kizuna gives us a very limited frame of reference, it’s not to say that the 02 group is always stuck to their partners for every breathing moment of their lives; remember, even all the way back in 02 episode 33, Miyako was willing to leave Poromon with Koushirou for the duration of her Kyoto trip, and the memorial shorts also depict V-mon hanging out with Gabumon in a setting that we assume doesn’t involve Daisuke in the vicinity, and photos of Takeru and Hikari without their partners are seen on Imura’s board, and there certainly must be instances of need for privacy or busy moments of adulthood that couldn’t be depicted in the limited range of the movie -- but the point is made, and there is a massive contrast between the Adventure group living independent lives, and the 02 group playing around and doing mundane things and actively involving their partners in their conversations and interactions in ways far beyond that of their seniors. And, by extension, the fact that the drama CD depicts them going out of their way to meet up with each other in a setting where their seniors aren’t doing anything of the sort; the 02 group’s mentality, shaped by the events of their series, involves treasuring their personal relationships and gaining emotional support from each other as a bigger priority over individual ambition, and it’s applying even to eight years later in Kizuna to the point where it takes very little to recreate the aura of yet another average 02 episode.

Fundamentally speaking, neither group is in the wrong, and the “difference in mentality” between the two groups is reflected all the way into the 02 epilogue, so this is not a narrative that praises or condemns people for aligning more with being independent-minded and ambitious and not necessarily needing company most of the time, versus being the kind who needs company and emotional support from others and excelling better at giving that kind of support in return. Kizuna’s narrative doesn’t cast the more ostensibly distant (less so “distant” and more “more capable of independent action”) relationship the Adventure group has with their partners in a particularly negative light. I’m sure many reading this post will probably identify more with one group or the other here in terms of their way of living life and maintaining relationships. However, it does cast the concept of “abandoning one’s partner” as the reason for partnership dissolution -- not physical abandonment, but rather, emotional abandonment.

The timing of the partnership dissolution is the key, because the movie puts a huge spotlight on it not happening to Koushirou and Takeru for the time being, which means we’re obligated to look at Taichi and Yamato to see why it’s happening to them and them specifically, and what they have in common. Well, one day prior, they’d dumped their partners on their siblings with very few words, and then, over dinner, had outright scoffed at the idea of bringing their partners to school with them. Again, it’s not the issue of bringing them or not when even Koushirou doesn’t seem to be hanging out with Tentomon all of the time, but rather that they have such a condescending and cold attitude about it, as if their partners are “in the way” of their adult lives. Taichi doesn’t necessarily have to have Agumon live with him as a roommate, but he’s portrayed as horribly lonely and yet hadn’t even let Agumon visit once because he was so willing to shut him out. In other words, Taichi and Yamato had taken their partners so much for granted that they were basically yanking them out once in a while whenever they needed them for Digimon battles, and then tossing them aside flippantly to get back to whatever their lives were, rather than working on maintaining their relationships or allowing for emotional support. For the early duration of the movie, their conversations are not quite there, and are a bit stilted. Partner or not, it’s a cold way to treat a friend who just really wants to be there to support you.

And when you look at Sora, or Menoa (who’s revealed in the novel to have also been emotionally drifting from Morphomon for the sake of her studies), their abandonment of their partners was hardly physical -- Piyomon was there to watch Sora’s flower arrangement work, it’s just that Sora was coldly turning her away and snapping at her for the sake of her work, and Menoa was most likely still living in the same house as Morphomon back when she was studying in Colorado, but nevertheless, she hadn’t been talking to her anymore. Meanwhile, on the other hand, while Koushirou doesn’t seem to be with Tentomon all of the time, he still has a proper heart-to-heart with him in a way that wouldn’t be completely out of place in Adventure, so you can see why he’s not nearly in trouble as Taichi, Yamato, and Sora are at the time of the movie.

So, the take-home is that it’s not necessarily a requirement to be with your partner every single breathing moment of the day like the 02 group is; of course, them being more on the clingy (for lack of a better way to put it) side means that being emotionally in-tune with them is just a fact of life, but Koushirou, Mimi, and Jou all seem to have figured out comfortable ways of interaction and boundaries with their own partners even despite occasional distance, and that’s why they’re not in danger of losing their partners at the time of the movie, despite all of them technically being adults and Jou being a year older. (Well, there’s also the secondary metaphorical meaning of a partner meaning one’s own personal dreams and aspirations and how that factors into Taichi, Yamato, Sora, and Menoa’s actions, but we’ll leave that as a separate topic for the time being.)

One interesting thing about the epilogue is that, because the meeting depicted takes place in the Digital World and we have a very limited amount of information, we don’t really have evidence that most of the adult Chosen actually live with their Digimon partners on a day-to-day basis -- the only thing concrete we have is a strong implication that Hawkmon lives at home with Miyako’s family, which is reasonably par for the course with Miyako and Hawkmon’s respective characterizations (and although it’s not shown, you can also imagine that the very clingy Wormmon would likely prefer living with “Ken-chan” and his family). Otherwise, the only other “home” scene we get to see is that of Takeru and his son, but their partners aren’t shown in the real world.

The Character Complete File does add some implications depending on how you want to read certain ones, and Armadimon’s lack of presence in Iori’s attorney scene could conversely mean that he’s more likely to be a presence in Iori’s home life than he is in his work (which is also reasonably consistent with their characters), but either way, the take-home is that the nature of each Digimon partner’s involvement in each adult’s day-to-day life is ambiguous. So you can really make any kind of extrapolation about whose partners are involved in their lives to what degree; it’s been 17 years since Kizuna, relationships and day-to-day life needs have changed, and things like “career partner” and “family member” (or both) don’t necessarily have to entail a Digimon partner constantly clinging to their head and witnessing every moment of their life, as long as the understanding is still there that everyone still has a clear amount of emotional involvement and connection in each other’s lives to some degree.

It’s also interesting to note that the epilogue actually picks a slightly unusual way of phrasing the Digimon partnership phenomenon spreading globally: “a Digimon partner exists for everyone in the world.” In terms of sheer technical meaning, it’s not altogether that different from “everyone has a Digimon partner,” but such oblique wording brings more to mind the idea that, even now, not everyone may have met their Digimon partner yet, or may be living separately from them between worlds, or, with retroactive Kizuna context, being in a bit of an existential crisis or loss of self and having your partner not currently manifested for the time being -- but that doesn’t preclude you from having a partner, as long as you’re capable of maintaining some kind of relationship with them.

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

A Miraculous TikTok Account

Part 5

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Pretending to be perfect would be so much easier if she was actually perfect.

Now, Ladybug absolutely knew that she didn’t need to pretend anymore. In fact, there was no way in hell that she would be able to keep up the act…

And so she’d told herself that this was fine, that she was okay with the fact that she was going to be incorporating her life as ‘Ladybug’ more into her actual life.

She’d tried. She really had. She’d worn her normal clothes for the first few days while she was unpacking…

And then she’d sat down next to Carapace on that couch to talk to him like normal humans do… only to find herself falling right back into her persona the moment she’d laid eyes on him. She’d pulled her ‘scared civilian smile’ to her face and lied about her progress on her room for seemingly no reason.

That night she went to the store to buy herself red and black dresses to match her usual Ladybug aesthetic.

They’d believe that she was just wearing the casual clothes as temps while she was settling in, probably, it wouldn’t take much to convince them that she actually acted like Ladybug at all times.

Now, she knew that this would only work for a limited amount of time. No one could be perfect forever, and the resident human disaster would have an even harder time keeping up the charade…

But she could keep it up for a while, and ‘a while’ was all she needed.

After all, she suddenly had a proper motivation to find out who Hawkmoth was (she hadn’t really cared before, things were always fixed at the end so she wasn’t all that concerned about it), and Ladybug was never one to do things half-ass.

She had to change everything about herself, though, because she couldn’t concentrate on Hawkmoth if she was constantly worrying about maintaining her facade.

She considered ‘Ladybug’s’ general traits and how to convince everyone of it:

Probably a narc, has her life together, perfect…

Yeah, that would probably be enough for now.

She started by learning the law. She found some cheap copies of law textbooks online.

(And promptly found out by reading them that many of the sites she’d used to buy them were technically illegal. She wrote out an apology in Google to the DGSI agent that might be watching her computer. Did they care? Probably not, but she figured there was no harm in being safe.)

Next was getting her life together…

Difficult, but she figured she’d be able to do it. People did it all the time, right?

… not right.

She stared at the article she found on getting your life together in a few simple steps. She was not at all fond of being called out for all her bad habits and coping mechanisms so bluntly...

Still, it was worth a shot.

She searched through her boxes and pulled out a whiteboard. She pushed a couple pictures of her civilian friends off of it, there were more important things to be doing (also the whole ‘secret identities’ thing…), and started making a schedule for herself.

Ladybug blocked out time for work, working out, and cooking/eating healthy food. It left… very little time to find Hawkmoth…

Unless…

Coffee! The ultimate ‘I have my life together’ drink AND it added a few hours to her day! It was perfect!

Speaking of perfect, she was now going to have to be perfect pretty much all day.

She wouldn’t get a break as a civilian because she worked with models and fashion designers and kwami knows that even perfect isn’t enough for them most of the time.

Even her room wasn’t safe, Chat had proved that by walking in and watching her faceplant (it was a good thing he was stupid or else that might have actually ended up being a problem).

No, the only times she could be herself was when she was 1) texting her civilian friends or 2) walking to and from work.

She was beginning to think this was a lot more trouble than it was worth…

Whatever. She was doing it anyways. Nothing, not even logic, was going to stop her from maintaining her ‘Ladybug’ persona.

~

She nearly dropped her coffee (which was mostly sugar and milk, let’s be honest) when she heard a knock on her trapdoor.

“Come in!” She said, pulling an earbud out of her ear.

Chloe poked her head through. “The akuma can fly.”

Ladybug fought the urge to groan. She looked down at the empty page in her sketchbook. Gabriel Agreste, the bastard, wanted a design by the next day and he didn’t grant extensions for akumas.

But she supposed saving Paris was slightly more important than her work --.

Wait, if she didn’t save Paris then she wouldn’t have to turn in her assignment…

She saw Tikki giving her a disapproving look, no doubt aware of where her thoughts were currently heading, and rolled her eyes.

She took out her other earbud and got up. “Alright. Tikki, spots on. Is it really a two person job?”

“Master Fu says so.”

“And Chloe says…?”

“Chlo -- I say that it’s a man made of sand. Guess how hard it’ll be.”

“Mr. Sandman, man me a sand…” mumbled Ladybug absently.

Chloe frowned a little bit. “Did you say something?”

She blinked a few times and then smiled. “Just that Master Fu needs to relax a bit more. We’re very obviously overcompensating.”

“True.”

Ladybug pushed open the attic window and they both flew out into the night --.

Wait, night? Wow, it was a lot later than she thought it was. She was soooo screwed on this deadline.

But there were bigger problems: there was a guy floating around on a pillow.

“The Sandboy just checked in! Now nightmares can begin!”

She rolled her eyes under her mask and looked at Chloe. “What does he do?”

“Creates nightmares. Obviously.”

They came to a stop a few buildings away and watched as sand slowly sprinkled down from the pillow that Sandboy was currently riding. The houses that he passed over erupted with screams.

Wow, the sand was really pretty, actually. Ladybug took note of the colors and the way it shone in the night. Maybe she could model the dress after it… she could do those colors, a bit of glitter…

Chloe nudged her shoulder.

“Are you alright?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah, just thinking about what to do…” … for her assignment, but Chloe didn’t need to know that.

“Got any ideas?”

She forced herself to focus on Sandboy. “His cloud is shaped like a pillow, that’s probably the akuma. It also looks like the glitt -- sand -- the SAND is what causes the nightmares, so we should avoid that.”

Chloe nodded a little bit. “Obviously. What should we do?”

“Knock him off.”

“You’re so smart, I wonder how I’d never thought of that,” she said sarcastically.

“You ASKED me what we should do! I answered --!”

“Hello, ladies!” Said Sandboy as he came around the side of the roof.

Chloe scoffed. “Go back to saying your lame rhyme, will you? We’re in the middle of something!”

Sandboy frowned, his expression a combination of shocked and offended. His voice was much higher when he spoke next: “You think my rhyme is lame?”

“Yes.”

Sandboy looked at Ladybug for confirmation, and Ladybug just shrugged and nodded.

“Ouch,” said Sandboy. He cleared his throat and when he spoke again he’d deepened his voice: “We’ll see how lame you think I am when you’re fighting your worst nightmare!”

Ladybug and Chloe immediately jumped away, because usually people say that when they’re about to attack, and the sand nailed the roof right where they’d just been.

The two women met eyes briefly and an understanding passed between them.

“Still lame!” Taunted Chloe.

Sandboy gasped indignantly and floated after her. Chloe smiled and started flying away.

“I mean, honestly, who thought of that? What’re you ‘checking in’ to? Work?”

Sand barely missed Chloe and she took out her spinning top to get away faster.

A piece of sand hit her spinning top. Ladybug and Chloe gave pause. Would that count? Well, it didn’t matter, at least. The solution would be the same: keep running.

Chloe must have come to the same conclusion, because she shook her head and continued…

Except her strides were much slower now.

Ah. So it did matter.

Chloe whimpered a little bit.

Ladybug winced. Great. So it had taken away her powers, probably, or at least her speed. She needed to wrap this up…

She forced herself to fly faster and she launched herself at Sandboy’s back. He happened to glance back and see her, which wasn’t great as he ascended sharply.

Her hands managed to catch the pillow, and she held tight even when she got a facefull of sand.

She felt flames lap at her ankles and a strangled scream escaped her lips. Ladybug didn’t care how she went out for the most part, but it was not going to be through burning to death. She forced herself to not pay attention to the fact that the fire was travelling up and catching on the hem of her dress and it was creeping along her --!

Nope! Not paying attention!

She swung her legs back and forth a few times to wobble the pillow underneath him until he inevitably lost his balance and fell over the side.

That was the good thing.

The bad thing was that the pillow was apparently Sandboy powered and now Sandboy and Ladybug were both plummeting towards the flames far below. Ladybug flapped her currently burning wings and couldn’t help but mumble a curse when she realized that they definitely didn’t work as well when they were on fire.

As it was, she managed to slow her fall and miss the bulk of the flames by inches.

Still hurt like hell when she hit the ground, though.

She rolled around on the concrete streets to smother the flames and didn’t relax until she knew for sure that they were gone.

That done, she allowed herself to relax with a still smoldering pillow. She probably would have rested her head on it if she wasn’t somewhat worried that some leftover sand would touch her face and she’d have to deal with more fire.

Still, it was over… that was nice…

A foot nudged her side. 

She blinked the pain from her eyes and looked up at Chloe…

Chloe pulled the pillow from her weak grip and tore the case.

The akuma fluttered out of the pillow.

Ladybug forced herself to her feet before she was ready.

“Can you hit the akuma or do you need me?”

Chloe scoffed a little, and then paused. She considered for a minute before saying, “Yeah, it’s not like I just faced one of my worst nightmares...”

“Losing your powers is one of your worst -- know what? Doesn’t matter. You can’t even hit it without your powers,” said Ladybug.

Chloe frowned.

Ladybug ignored this. She pulled her yoyo from her waist and tossed it at the butterfly. The akuma gave a pitiful squeak as it was sniped out of the air.

Instantly, her pain melted away. She breathed a sigh of relief. Much better.

She slowly walked over to Sandboy, who was apparently just a kid.

Annoyance flared in her. Hawkmoth was going after kids? This one looked like a toddler!

She forced herself to relax and brought a smile to her face. “Hey, what happened?”

“I watched a scary movie and had a nightmare…” explained the kid.

She nodded a tiny bit and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Would you like one of us to take you home? We can read you a bedtime story and keep the akumas away…”

PleasesaynoIhaveworktodopleasesaynosaynosay --.

“Yes please!” The kid sniffled and wrapped his arms around her.

Noooooooo...

Chloe spoke up after a second’s hesitation, her expression thoughtful: “You were working on something before we left, right, ‘bug?”

Ladybug blinked behind her mask. “Yeah…?” Was Chloe really going to offer to help?

“Ha! Sucks! See you tomorrow!” Chloe smiled and stuck her tongue out at Ladybug, then took off.

Yeah, she should have expected that.

She rolled her eyes and looked back down at the kid. Whatever. She could go read him a story and get him to bed, it shouldn’t take long…

“Where do you live?”

“I don’t know.”

Fuck.

~~~

Taglist

@nathleigh @mialuvscats @sassakitty @th1s-1s-my-aesthet1c @blueslushgueen

[fandomlurker]

A Ponderous Rewatch: “Win Big”

And so we begin. For real, this time.

And to start, we have to go all the way back to Animaniacs season 1, episode 2, with the very first Pinky and the Brain skit which is named “Win Big”.

Interestingly enough, the duo are not directly trying to take over the world in this episode. The premise is that Brain needs money to buy the one part needed for his actual plan to take over the world using a machine he calls the “Super-Conductive Magnetic Infindibulator”, which will “deplete hydrogen and promote gravitational collapse [to produce] a magnetic charge from the center of the Earth so strong that every person who has loose change in their pockets will be magnetically drawn to the ground and stuck there”.

…

For those of you who are new to the series and for those of you who maybe can’t remember the show very well, I want to say that yes, what you’re probably asking yourself right now is true: Brain’s plans are almost always this complex and completely absurd with giant, glaring holes in logistics. There’s been a long-time “theory” that while their theme song says “one is a genius, the other’s insane” and intends to indicate that Brain is the genius while Pinky’s insane, it’s actually the other way around. And honestly? That doesn’t exactly hold up to any kind of scrutiny at all. Brain is actually a genius…he’s just also very, very short-sighted and lacks a lot of common sense. He’s so focused on his goal of world domination that he forgets to account for even the most obvious of details that would completely ruin what he’s trying to accomplish. And Pinky? Well, Pinky’s a lot smarter than he seems, but I wouldn’t exactly mark him as a genius. He’s just more worldly, more emotionally intelligent, and has a knack for pointing out the obvious. For you D&D nerds out there, think of it like this: Brain is a high INT low WIS character while Pinky is a high WIS low INT character.

As for which one is “insane”? Disregarding the…let’s just say “problematic” baggage that comes with that word, I’d argue that Pinky is just neurodivergent and Brain has a lot of problems. Like, a lot of problems. We’ll get more into that mess much farther down the line.

In any case, the opening of this episode has Brain pulling Pinky away from watching what is obviously supposed to be The Honeymooners, complete with “Bang, zoom, right in the kisser!” quote and everything. That quote, or one like it, was what the character Ralph Kramden would frustratedly yell at his wife, Alice, after she’d dismiss a get rich quick scheme of his. It was an ultimately impotent threat of violence, as he never did hit her. A lot of folks before me have delved into how messed up and controversial that whole running gag was, so I didn’t particularly feel the need to go over it here.

However, it does become immediately relevant because as Pinky laughs at the joke and excitedly quotes it while Brain is trying to get his attention, Brain reaches up and gently holds both their faces close for a few moments…

“Stop saying that, Pinky!...”

…then more aggressively tugs Pinky’s face down as he finishes with “…Or I shall have to hurt you.”

“Oh, okay. Sorry, Brain. NARF!”

Isn’t it interesting how the very first thing this series does is juxtapose Pinky and the Brain’s relationship with that of the main married couple on The Honeymooners? Like, it’s certainly not the most healthy of a relationship parallel to make, but in Pinky and Brain’s favour their world is governed by slapstick humour and thus any and all violence is much less serious. Also, there’s Pinky’s…uh…special relationship with physical pain that will become more apparent as the series goes on. Like, of course this kind of behaviour is wrong and appalling in real life, but this is a Warner Brothers Looney Toons-style cartoon and there’s a big difference between the two.

There’s also this little tidbit of information on the Animaniacs wiki regarding this episode and its writer, Peter Hastings:

“Although Peter Hastings has stated that he always tried to have Brain threaten to hurt Pinky but never actually hit him (because he felt this was both funnier and truer to the character), Tom Ruegger and the other producers would often have Brain actually hit Pinky. Even in this very first short, the Brain does follow through.”

Moving on, though, after Brain Rube Goldberg machine’s his way out of their cage and points out that Pinky has an “inordinately short attention span” after Pinky gets briefly distracted by another TV show that’s a very blatant parody of Jeopardy, he explains to Pinky his latest plan for world domination.

“EGAD, Brain, brilliant!”

“…Uh oh, no, wait…what if they take off their pants?”

^ The face of a man who somehow managed to forget that clothes are removable.

See what I mean about Pinky having a knack for pointing out the obvious? It’s very much needed to counteract Brain’s complete lack of foresight and introspection.

“Then…we’ll have to take over the world quickly.”

…Though there’s also something to be said for Brain’s stubbornness.

So they need a part for Brain’s machine called a Infindibulator, which is for some reason listed in the Farmer’s Almanac??? Which to my knowledge doesn’t sell anything at all??? Okay, Brain, whatever you say.

Brain actually kicks Pinky directly in the ass to get him up onto the Almanac to read it,

which would be alarming if not for Pinky’s completely happy and sincere “Thanks! :D” afterwards. It’s a mere hint to Pinky’s…predilections. I find it interesting that it’s so subtly foreshadowed in this very first short. I know you newer folks might think I’m joking, but I assure you I’m not. You will see.

As a side note, it’s so odd hearing Rob Paulsen’s early Pinky voice in these first several Animaniacs shorts. I’ve seen fans say that it’s more lispy than the standard Pinky voice that we’re all familiar with, but to me it just sounds like Pinky with a very, very bad cold and a stuffy nose. Get this mouse some nasal spray.

So Pinky finds the entry for the Infindibulator and it costs a whopping $99000. Where would two little lab mice find that kind of cash?

It sure is lucky and convenient that the TV is still on during that moment and tuned into an episode of Jeopardy—I mean “Gyp-Parody” (Really, writers? Really? In addition to being a horrible and lazy pun, I would rather not have to type a slur so much, so I’m just going to call it the name of the show it’s based on) where the reward for winning totals $99000.

And here we go, the first of its kind. The birth of the most famous running joke from Pinky and the Brain!

“Pinky… Are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

“I think so, Brain, but where are we going to get a duck and a hose at this hour?”

…Believe it or not, Pinky’s bizarre answers do have an explanation and a certain logic to them, but we find out the hows and whys much, much farther along in the series. That said, I’ll be damned if I know how he got to this particular train of thought right now. The inner machinations of Pinky’s mind are an enigma.

So Brain gets the idea to become a contestant on Jeopardy to win the amount of money they need for their plan. Pinky points out that the questions on the game show are very, very hard and Brain would have to get all of them right, and I just love Brain slowly turning his head to face Pinky with the most deadpan “Bitch, are you for real?” look on his face.

To Brain’s credit, he doesn’t berate the other mouse at all for his doubts. He just very calmly asks Pinky to quiz him about anything he can think of. When Pinky asks him “What is pie?”, well, see above for the summary of the answer Brain gives.

He then asks for a harder question, and Pinky asks him which TV character says “Bang! Zoom!—“ before Brain cuts him off with a wack of a pencil for quoting something inane and annoying him again.

Though he quivers a little before the smack, Pinky’s fine afterwards. Smiling, even.

And he happily gives Brain the answer anyway, complete with bows. “Ralph Kramden! TA-DAH! :D”

But Brain is insistent on preparing to go on Jeopardy, grabbing Pinky by the tail to drag him off-screen and Pinky is…

Hmm.

He’s, uhh, more than fine with it.

Now we get the debut of the human suit mecha. It’s quite the staple of the series; the go-to for a human disguise whenever the mice need one.

And it certainly is…something. You may be noticing the lack of a human head. Don’t worry about it. Brain certainly didn’t.

I love Brain’s playful little “Honey, I’m hoooome!~” when he pops his head out, despite having a deadpan look on his face the entire time. He’s having fun!

“Ahahaha! Oh, that’s a funny joke, Brain!”

“I am not devoid of humour.”

Pinky is having a little less fun with his tail accidentally tied along with the shoelaces, however.

It’s fine, he’s fine. He’ll be okay! Pinky is indestructible.

He’s a pocket pal now. He’s fine.

Makin’ my way downtown, walkin’ fast…~

Okay, sorry, he’s hailing a cab instead. Effectively, too!

Oh hi, Warners, nice to see you! Doing a literal running gag, I see. Nice, nice.

Goodbye!

So if you were wondering how regular humans would react to Brain’s “clever” and totally made without proper foresight disguise, well…

“Wh—HOA! Hey, if you don’t mind me askin’, bub, what happened to your head?”

“Nothing. I am a mouse in a large, mechanical suit.”

“Hehehehe! Okay, all right, my fault for askin’, right? Heh.”

Yup. This isn’t the first time this kind of thing happens. I guess since they’re in Hollywood the taxi driver’s seen worse.

So Brain gets on the show (don’t worry about how, shh) and the announcer calls him “Brian” instead and Brain politely tries to correct him. I can’t exactly fault the announcer because 1. “Brain” isn’t a name and 2. Look at Brain’s gloriously messed up handwriting.

The host walks on in. It’s pretty cute that they gave him the parody name “Alex Quebec”. It’s a suitable pun and rhyme to hint at the fact that Alex Trebek was born in Canada. Rest in peace, Mr. Trebek.

The first question is in the category of celebrity shoe sizes and asks what size sandals Plato wore. Umm. Okaaaaay… Thank goodness this show first aired before websites for foot fetishists cataloguing celebrity feet was a thing. Also is it just me, or does that font looks like something off of The Simpsons?

I don’t know if I should be worried or not that Brain got the correct answer to this question. (Seven and a half, if you’re curious.)

Question two is totally a trick question, though. There’s no such place as “Lestho”. “Lesotho”, however, is a real kingdom in South Africa. King Moshoeshoe I was indeed the ruler in 1820 as Brain answers, although the place was called “Basutoland” at the time and didn’t formally become a kingdom until 1822.

Educational!

Question three is a normal if extremely hard question for anyone unfamiliar with geographic locations off of the southeast of Asia. There are a lot of correct answers, and Brain answers correctly with “Bikar, Ailuk, and Ailinglaplap”. As this post notes, he is totally flexing on everyone by naming very obscure coral atoll islands that are some of the furthest neighbours from the Isle of Yap.

You smug asshole, Brain.

We don’t get the questions Brain answers correctly in the following montage, but we do get a close-up of his handwriting. Look at this. Just…look at it.

We get to see the aftermath of Brain’s monopolizing of the scores, though. The other contestants aren’t looking too good. Note that it seems there were times that they did manage to buzz in to answer before Brain did, but they must have got all of their answers or at least most of them wrong. They’re both in the negatives.

“Any plans on how you’ll spend your winnings?”

“Yes. I plan to take over the world!”

“...”

“…Ah haha, my fault for asking.”

Pinky claps and congratulates Brain on doing so well so far, because he’s a sweetheart like that, and

Brain flicks him back into the pocket. Man, you’re so quietly mean in this first episode, Brain.

Now it’s the final question, from the category “Quotable Quotes”. I remember this kind of category as usually being the easiest on Jeopardy, so it’s kind of surprising that it’s the Final Jeopardy question.

Uh-oh.

Looks like someone forgot that Jeopardy questions aren’t all science, history, and geography-related. Sometimes they’re about pop-culture.

Brain is…not very good with pop-culture. And Pinky’s been banished to the bottom of the coat pocket.

Whoops.

“Umm. Uh, who is, uhh… I, umm. Who is, uhh… Who is…uhh, Pinky…?”

Oh Brain, honey, it’s cute that you got so stumped and flustered that you just blurted out the only name that came to mind (and because Pinky was quoting it earlier, but still!), but it’s also so very, very sad.

Of course that’s incorrect, and Brain is just so monumentally defeated.

“And how much did you wager?”

“Everything…”

HUBRIS!

We then cut to the mice watching Brain’s horrible defeat on TV, and Pinky suggests a few other game shows they could try: Wheel of Misfortune, $10,000 Pile-A-Mud… The latter of which is supposed to be a parody of the old game show Pyramid, which wasn’t around in that format by the time this episode aired, so…good luck with that one, Pinky.

But no, Brain doesn’t plan on going on any more game shows. He instead walks sadly over to their cage to rest for tomorrow night.

It’s then that we are witness to the birth of the other memetic exchange this show is known for:

“Why, Brain? What are we going to do tomorrow night?”

“The same thing we do every night, Pinky: Try to take over the world!”

That wink, though. It’s the confident wink that sells this and tells us all you need to know about the Brain. No matter how bad his defeat, how humiliated he gets, or how sad he feels about failing, Brain always gets back to business sooner or later. He has determination on his side. And Pinky, of course.

And that was the very first Pinky and the Brain short! A pretty good start for the series, really. Nothing spectacular, and definitely not the worst, just a good start that sets the tone of the series well and establishes several of the running gags the show is known for. The creators pretty much have Brain as a character down right away: serious but not devoid of humour, single-minded, stubborn, egotistical, smart, and determined to meet his goals. There are a few things missing from him that we get later, and he certainly softens a bit by the time the spin-off starts, but they’ve set up a solid foundation to build on so far here. Pinky’s character is a little more nebulous in this episode, though. He’s shown to be generally good-natured, smarter than he first seems, easily distracted but well-meaning, and willing and able to help Brain achieve his goals. Still, he’s missing the much of the overwhelming kindness and his enthusiasm for Brain’s plans and awe at Brain’s intellect that he has as we go further through the series. I mean, there are hints of it here, too, but it’s much more understated compared to later on. Not to mention that Pinky gains a bit of a sassy side to him that somehow still manages to be friendly, like when you gently tease your friends while still caring about them.

I understand that you can’t really squeeze all of that into the first, like, fifteen minutes or so of a series, though.

Also, the animation for this episode wasn’t exactly the best of the series. There are points where Brain looks kinda muppet-y and Pinky is uncharacteristically gaunt and gangly. I mean, Pinky is usually a little gangly but not as hunched over and his nose stretched out so much. It’s not the worst, either, and serves as a decent baseline of how the characters look. Wang Film Production looks to be the animation studio behind this one, and I’d say their style is the most “normal” quality of the ones that get to animate for PatB. They do settle into a better and more consistent style for the show, so I’ll try and be on the look-out for that.

I’m not sure if the other posts I’m going to do on this rewatch will be quite so play-by-play as this one was. Since this is the first, I felt the need to establish in more detail the kind of things that happen in your average episode of PatB and the general rhythm of the show. I’m definitely going to try and include every instance of the ongoing running gags the series has, though.

I feel I should also say that from now on I might have to double or triple the amount of episodes in one post, too. There are some episodes in a long-running series like this where not too much of note happens, I’m sure, and I know at least a few are either silent shorts, cameos in other Animaniacs skits or little music videos and you can only get so much out of those entries.

Yes, music videos. Including a cameo appearance in a Macarena parody. I’ll prepare as best as I can to cringe so hard from secondhand embarrassment that I morph into a pretzel shape.

We’re only getting started, folks. Things are only going to get weirder and more interesting from here on out.

[timeagainreviews]

The Filler Fluff of the Cybermen

When is a two-parter not a two-parter? When the first part is tonight’s episode "Ascension of the Cybermen." As stories go, that was pretty damn sparse. I’ll be honest, friends, I don’t have a lot to say about tonight’s story. But that’s not why you come here, so I will try my damnedest to find something to talk about in this latest episode of Doctor Who. Right, now, how many words was that? Sixty-seven? Christ. This is going to be a slog.

I honestly shouldn’t be surprised. It had to happen. I was saying just last week that I hadn’t seen an episode I outright hated so far this series. We were due. That’s not to say I actually feel hate for this episode, more accurately, I feel very little about this episode. Usually, I endeavour to do more than simply trash an episode, but tonight, it’s either that, or I end the review here. So apologies ahead of time.

The episode opens on a Cyberman head floating in space with some knucklehead voiceover telling us about how the Cybermen have been mostly wiped out and what remains of humanity isn’t much better. The episode will now spend the next fifty minutes reiterating this point ad nausea. It was like a Star Wars title crawl, except in Star Wars, the crawl isn’t the plot of the movie you’re about to watch. Funnily, a lot of tonight’s episode reminded me of "The Last Jedi." Our heroes get split up. A slow chase ensues. No new information is gained. And it ends leaving us feeling like not a lot happened.

The Doctor and her companions come to a small human colony in the distant future. There are only seven of them left. The Doctor sets up a series of relays to help this ragtag bunch of humans kill off an oncoming Cyberman attack. Only thing is, they had never accounted for the Cybermen to first send out "Cyber Drones." Now, say you’ve got a room full of artists who love Doctor Who. And you tell them all to design drones that will be utilised by Cybermen. You can imagine they might have some rather impressive designs. Now, gather up all of those beautiful and creative drawings into your arms and throw them in the bin. Instead, we’re going to just use floating Cyberman heads. Was this because Chibnall is the kind of guy who thinks a dude with teeth pressed into his face is creepy or is this because reusing Cyberman heads is cheap? I’ll let you decide.

The Cyberheads and their eye lasers do quick work of the Doctor’s relays and sends everyone scattering to the wind. With three of the humans dead, Ryan, a young boy named Ethan, and the Doctor get left behind. Yaz and Graham, find themselves aboard a rickety gravraft with the remainder of the humans. With the TARDIS too far away, the Doctor decides they need to hijack a Cybership. I gotta give it to the Cybermen, they take better care of their ship than they do their own bodies. It’s almost as if there was no continuity in the design. Or maybe it’s like when you see someone whose life is a total mess but they have a dope car. I’ll let you decide.

After Ethan hotwires the Cybership, the Doctor pilots the ship to the most logical destination- her TARDIS. No, I’m just kidding, that would have made sense! Instead, she goes somewhere. I just double-checked with my boyfriend and we honestly couldn’t remember why anyone was doing anything at this point in the episode. After combing the episode I finally found a bit of throwaway dialogue where Ethan programmed the ship to go to a place called "Ko Sharmus." Meanwhile, the other group of protagonists are floating listlessly in space, making them the most relatable characters in this episode as that’s exactly how I felt.

By now you’re probably wondering why I haven’t gotten to the B-story happening in this episode. I guess here is as good a place as any, as it made just as much sense crammed anywhere in the episode it pleased. We see a young man and woman find a baby. This baby grows up to be their adopted son, Brendan. Brendan becomes a cop. Brendan gets shot and falls off a cliff. Brendan wakes up unscathed. Brendan’s dad looks at him like he’s creepy. Brendan grows old and retires. Brendan’s dad and boss, seemingly having not aged, wipe his memory. It makes as much sense as a wicker toilet and gives us no new information. At one point I thought he may have been Captain Jack’s kid, but then he grows old, so I don’t know what to think. What I do know is that you could have edited it down and made it into a far better cold opener than that Cyberhead floating in space shit.

The humans aboard the gravraft get stranded next to a giant Cyberman ship where a battle has gone down. Remnants of Cybermen ping the hull of their vessel like tiny asteroids. They get the bright idea to use the airlock to give the gravraft an extra thrust into the Cybership. I don’t know if it was intentional, but having Graham say "Don’t panic," right before they release the airlock was a nice little Douglas Adams reference. Or maybe it wasn’t at all, but I’ll take any joy from this episode I can get. Much like the idiotic hip bounce from "Can You Hear Me?" that knocked the sonic screwdriver up into the Doctor’s hands, the gravraft makes a million in one shot directly into the Cyberman ship’s docking bay. If they have that kind of luck sinking shots like that, they should really take their skills to the minigolf course.

The second I saw the ship, I knew that they were going to do the rows upon rows of sleeping Cybermen emerging from their tombs. It’s a Doctor Who trope as old as the Patrick Troughton era. My boyfriend was enjoying these bits as he is less familiar with the history of Doctor Who, so I let him have his fleeting enjoyment. I couldn’t even get jazzed about the new Cyberman design as they had already spoiled it with online photos. Basically, aside from the head-scratching B-story, the plot to tonight’s episode could be gathered by looking at promotional photos. There were new Cybermen. The Lone Cyberman was there. Nothing new to be learned here. Though, I will admit those new Cybermen are genuinely awesome.

The Doctor has a brief encounter with a hologram of the Lone Cyberman, or "Ashad." We learn that Ashad doesn’t just want to destroy all humans, he wants to destroy all life in the universe, for reasons. So I guess it wasn’t all a wash. Ashad heads to the Cybership where he begins waking up the Cybermen by what looks like torture. I have absolutely zero idea why he was doing what he was doing. It’s not at all made clear. Was he giving a titty twister so the Cybermen would accept him as their leader? Because after waking up the rest of them, they all seem to fall in line. Honestly, what the hell was he doing to that Cyberman? It makes no goddamn sense.

One thing I will say that made me happy was that one of my predictions from before episode one came true. They gave Graham a bit of a love interest. I called that shit. This possible love interest came in the form of Ravio, one of the human colonists. I found it rather amusing that in the future humans would still speak with British accents but have lost all context for Cockney rhyming slang. It was a cute bit of dialogue that falls apart if you think about it too much. The Cybermen force the humans into a corner to barricade themselves from the onslaught of Cybermen, and that’s where they’re left until next weekend.

Meanwhile, the Doctor arrives at Ko Sharmus which ends up being a person’s name as opposed to a planet. Chris Chibnall’s ability to name characters has not improved. Seriously, there are characters named Feekat and Yedlarmi in this episode. It hardly matters though as they’re all rather forgettable. I had to comb the episode and the internet just to figure out who was who. The Doctor never even introduces herself to Ethan. I had to figure his name out through one of the many throwaway lines of dialogue. That’s not to say that they don’t have real bits of character development. But you can take all of the character development in the world and wrap it around a hollow plot and it equals a lot of me not giving a shit.

Ko Sharmus was a welcome addition, simply because he was played by the charismatic Ian McElhinney. Turns out he’s a human colonist who stays behind in case any more humans might one day also come to this planet. There’s a sort of gateway or “boundary” out of the galaxy where many humans have gone to escape pursuit by Cyberman. Ko Sharmus’ job is to act as a guide to any possible newcomers also looking to reach said boundary. However, the Doctor quickly learns that the boundary is actually a gateway to Gallifrey. Only now it shows Gallifrey as the Master left it- in ruins.

Did I mention the Master? Well, here he is, making a "grand" entrance. The only thing at this point that was grand about the introduction of the Master to the story was that I was excited that something of substance was actually about to happen. Instead, this is our cliffhanger- this not at all surprising reveal that the Master is still alive. Of course, he is, he’s the Master. It’s a season finale with the Cybermen, of course, the Master is going to be there. It’s been that way for the past two Cyberman season finales. I guess the third time is a charm? What about any of this is supposed to be surprising? Remember how I said I was afraid they were becoming far too reliant on big reveals? This ending is the epitome of that. I think they expected to blow our minds by having the storyline they set up at the beginning of the series come into fruition. Try harder Chibs, this shit was weak.

The biggest shocker here is how little happened. What we were left with was akin to a classic filler episode where the Doctor gets captured. They padded out everything because they didn’t want next week’s episode to be ten minutes longer. Tonight’s episode exists purely because Chris Chibnall couldn’t edit down the script of a single episode into something shorter. This wouldn’t be so egregious if at least one storyline came to some sort of conclusion. If the B-story with Brendan had gone somewhere it might have made the entire episode feel somewhat worth the time and effort. Instead, we’re forced to watch a team of talented actors fill time.

I can’t help but feel like last week’s episode should have been this week’s episode with maybe a bit more setup for the finale. In place of this forgettable fluff, we could have gotten a single contained episode in its place. Something that had a beginning, middle, and end. Because of this, it’s almost as if we’ve been shorted an episode. Because of all of the wasted time in "Ascension of the Cybermen," I can only think of two outcomes for next week. One is an episode crammed so full of exposition that it will feel messy and disjointed. The other is an episode that is as equally underwhelming as tonight’s effort. Do you really mean to tell me they’re going to fit a Cyberman battle, Captain Jack, the Master, Gallifrey, the Timeless Child, and possibly Ruth into an episode and it not be a mess? It’s hard to have faith that there is a reason behind this much wasted screentime. I could use some of Graham’s optimism because at this moment it’s looking a bit hopeless.

[gb-fics]

A Man In Pain

Fanfiction:

Kiryuuin Shou x Kyan Yutaka (Golden Bomber)

Note: This story is for Golden Bomber’s newest PV. The song is ... about your neck hurting. So, the story is about neck pain, too. Please, check out the video here; the song is great fun: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7CuDlJqWrc&pbjreload=10

Kiryuuin Shou was a man who knew pain.

He knew the pain of sore muscles after a concert.

He knew the pain in his throat, back when singing had become almost unbearable.

He knew the pain of lying awake at night, when falling asleep seemed impossible and the sadness overwhelming.

He knew the pain of having to pay taxes and parting with money, that he could have hoarded on his bank account otherwise.

He knew the pain of unrequited love, whenever Kyan Yutaka laughed.

The pain in his neck, however, was new.

“Argh”, he groaned and pressed a hand against his neck as if the pain was really coming from the outside and he had to shield his body from it.

“My neck is killing me”, he added and let himself sink onto the hotel bed with his face down.

He pressed it into the white linen of the pillow, aware that he would probably leave stains on it. He had removed his make-up and taken a shower already, but no matter how throughout he cleaned his face, some leftovers of concealer always remained and dirtied sheets and towels in the colour of his skin. Sometimes, Shou thought that his face had secret wrinkles and hidden creases even he didn’t know about. Sometimes, he thought that his skin was coming off.

“You probably headbanged too hard at the concert tonight”, Yutaka said.

“Probably”, Shou mumbled.

His voice got swallowed by the pillow completely and he wasn’t sure Yutaka had even heard him. He should probably lift his head. It was getting hard to breath, too. But the fabric felt cool against his face and as long as there was only darkness in front of his eyes, Shou could pretend that nothing mattered for a little while.

“Also, you are growing old”, Yutaka added.

Shou turned his head now, placing his cheek on the pillow instead. It was uncomfortable warm by now. His body and muffled breath had heat it up.

He had turned his head away from the wall, so he could watch Yutaka walking around the room. He was already in his pyjamas, his hair still slightly damp from the shower. He kept running to and fro between the small bathroom and the second bed without rhyme or reason. Not moving, Shou followed him with his eyes.

He wondered if Yutaka knew how much Shou liked to watch him when they were sharing a hotel room during the tour like this. He liked how his hair was always dripping after the shower as if he didn’t bother with a towel at all, but skipped right to the hairdryer. He liked the tapping of his bare feet on the floor, because he never used the slippers the hotel provided. He liked how the screen of his mobile lit up his profile after they had switched off the lights already.

He also wondered if Yutaka knew how much Shou’s chest hurt, when he watched him like that. It wasn’t a sharp pain like someone had stabbed him. It was the searing pain of unrequited love, as if someone had poured acid all over his ribcage, and now it was eating away his body until it would reach his heart, and once it did, Shou would dissolve completely.

Yutaka finally turned off the lights in the bathroom and walked over to the bed. Tap, tap, his bare feet went.

He sat down at the edge of the bed, eyeing Shou as if he was considering something.

“I could give you a massage”, he offered.

Shou snorted. Partly, because he did not believe that Yutaka would actually do something like that. Partly, because the thought of Yutaka’s hands on his neck, on his shoulders, on his back, made his face heat up and he wanted to cover his own embarrassment somehow.

“As if, seriously”, he said.

“No, I mean it”, Yutaka said and got up from the bed again. He seemed weirdly eager all of a sudden.

Shou stared at the window behind Yutaka. The curtain was drawn. Outside it was already dark and no light was falling in through the dark blue fabric. It looked somewhat filthy, although he could not make out any stains. He couldn’t explain where that impression was coming from.

“A massage doesn’t help against muscle aching. And if I strained it, I should favour my neck, not let you mistreat it.”

“If I’m gentle, it will help you relax”, Yutaka insisted and took a step towards Shou’s bed.

Shou was still looking past him without moving. Watching Yutaka when he was not paying attention was one thing. But when they were alone together, it sometimes felt weird to meet his eyes. Shou didn’t want him to notice that he was staring.

“You are never gentle with me”, Shou said.

“You know that’s not true”, Yutaka protested. He was speaking softly, though.

“What do you even care?”, Shou mumbled.

Yutaka had now reached the bed, putting a knee on the mattress next to Shou and pausing. It seemed as if he couldn’t decide if to get on the bed or remain standing in front of it. Now, he was frozen in the movement in between.

“I need you to stay in good shape”, Yutaka said. “We are bandmembers, remember? Your neck is important for singing. It’s not like you broke a leg. In that case, I just wouldn’t care.”

Shou chuckled and turned his head lightly. His cheek was rubbing against the pillow, his face almost buried again.

“I’ll better watch out not to break any bones again, then”, he said dryly.

“Just let me try”, Yutaka said and finally climbed on the bed. Obviously, he had made his decision.

Shou felt himself tense up, although he had already guessed Yutaka’s intention. He swung his leg to Shou’s other side, kneeling down on top of him. Shou could sense his legs pressing against either side of his hips.

Shou felt vulnerable, lying flat on his stomach with Yutaka on top of him. He didn’t feel this helpless, because of what Yutaka might do to him. He felt helpless for all the things Shou would let him do right now, if only Yutaka wanted to.

Yutaka lowered his weight, sitting down on Shou’s butt. He was heavy, but not unbearable, so he was probably relying on the strength in his legs for support. His body was warm. Shou could feel it through the fabric of his pants.

He turned his head, pressing his face into the pillow completely now. He didn’t want Yutaka to see him. He wanted his face to feel less hot. He wanted to suffocate, if the pain got too bad.

He thought of Yutaka’s crotch so close to his butt. Wondered if he would be able to feel it, if Yutaka had an erection. Knew that Yutaka didn’t have an erection. His chest hurt. Acid was eating away to his heart. Soon he would disappear. Soon, he would just stop breathing.

Yutaka placed his hands on Shou’s shoulders, his thumbs hesitantly rubbing his neck as if trying to find the hurting spot.

“There?”, he asked quietly.

In spite of the pillow that already drowned out the world around him, Shou had closed his eyes, too.

Yutaka’s hands were warm and gentle and only where he touched him, Shou felt real.

He gave a vague muttering, that could mean anything at all.

Carefully, Yutaka massaged the line of his neck, that felt tense and calloused.

Shou’s body was falling apart. Lately, he was starting to feel more and more invisible, especially when he was around Yutaka. Everyone saw him. The fans did, the haters did, the cameras did. Only Yutaka didn’t seem to notice him. He didn’t notice the way Shou’s eyes followed him through the room, nor the way he shuddered whenever Yutaka brushed against him carelessly. He was invisible to the one person that mattered and by now, Shou felt unreal. His chest was dissolving, his face was coming off.

Right now, too, his body seemed to fall away and disappear right beneath Yutaka, because he just wasn’t aware of it. Only the part of his neck that Yutaka was touching, existed. His back, that wanted to be caressed, didn’t exist. His lips, that wanted to be kissed, didn’t exist. His butt, that … well, his butt didn’t exist either. Shou’s body wasn’t real, because Yutaka wasn’t paying attention to it.

“Is it helping?”, Yutaka asked.

His neck still hurt. His chest, now, hurt, too.

“You are making it worse”, Shou pressed out.

His voice sounded hoarse to himself and at the verge of breaking. Maybe the pillow would muffle the sounds enough to hide the tears in it. Maybe Yutaka wouldn’t notice, because he could not hear Shou as well as he could not see him.

Yutaka’s hands pulled back.

Shou expected him to climb down from him now, but for a moment, Yutaka just stayed in place without touching him.

“I’m sorry”, he said. “I just wanted to try.”

“Well, it doesn’t help”, Shou announced harshly and turned his head.

He still couldn’t see Yutaka like that, but he could breath again. His voice was back under control. Shou had a lot of practice at not letting his feelings show. Too often they were alone, too often they were touching. By now, he could fall apart without anyone noticing.

“I’m sorry”, Yutaka repeated. It was rare for him to apologize so much.

His weight finally disappeared. The mattress underneath him shifted, as Yutaka climbed down from the bed.

“You should keep your neck warm, though. I think I have a scarf somewhere around here.”

“I have my own scarf”, Shou protested. “But it will be too hot.”

He closed his eyes. Right now, he couldn’t stand to watch Yutaka moving around the room. He heard his footsteps, though. Tap, tap.

“Here it is”, he called out.

“I told you, I don’t want it”, Shou said.

He realized himself that he sounded grumpy. Yutaka didn’t deserve that kind of treatment. He was just trying to be nice. But his kindness made it harder to become invisible again. Once Yutaka looked at him, Shou wanted to remain existing.

“Warmth is the best cure”, Yutaka insisted and walked over again.

He put a grey, woollen scarf around Shou’s shoulders like an additional blanket. The back of his neck felt very warm underneath.

Shou kept his eyes shut and waited for Yutaka to leave. Instead, he heard rustling next to the bed.

Blinking slowly, Shou opened his eyes again.

Yutaka had knelt down next to the end of the bed. His face was almost eyelevel with Shou now. Without moving, Shou had no other option but to stare right into his face. Yutaka’s eyes were dark. He met them rarely, nowadays.

“Is there anything else I can do?”, Yutaka asked.

It was strange to experience him that caring, but not unfamiliar. Yutaka had a caring trait about him, that he didn’t show to everyone. Shou was pretty sure, that Yutaka showed it to him most of all.

“I’ll be fine”, he said quietly.

“Are you sure?”, Yutaka inquired.

He reached out and pushed a strand of hair back behind Shou’s ear. His fingers remained lingering against Shou’s cheek for a moment.

“Sure”, Shou said.

He pressed his eyes shut again. He wanted Yutaka to leave. He wanted him to make things a little easier for Shou. He was tired of hurting all the time.

“Shou”, Yutaka said quietly and put his hand onto Shou’s shoulder for a brief moment. It sounded as if he wanted to say something else and Shou was scared that he had looked at him, that he had noticed, that he had heard. The only thing worse than being invisible to Yutaka, was being visible and rejected. He wouldn’t dissolve. He would shatter into a million little pieces and each of the shards would keep on hurting, if he didn’t manage to mend them back together. Shou wasn’t good at mending.

He kept quiet, and he kept his eyes closed and his lips pressed together.

Yutaka sighed and his hand disappeared. Shou heard him get up and return to his own bed.

“We should go to sleep, I guess”, he heard him say.

Yutaka’s voice was far away. Although he had only retreated to the other side of the room, the distance between them seemed almost unbridgeable now.

Sometimes, Shou thought that Yutaka knew. And sometimes, on very few occasions only, Shou moreover thought that Yutaka didn’t mind. Then he wondered if the insisting on a massage, if a hand on his cheek that lingered a little too long, or a scarf that was supposed to keep him warm, actually meant more. Maybe those gestures were Yutaka’s way of taking the first step.

But then Shou thought of all the things that could go wrong. Of what would happen, if the gestures weren’t gestures and they didn’t mean anything at all. He was scared of being shattered. But he was also scared of breaking up the band. He was scared of bothering Yutaka and scared of being judged by everyone. He was scared it would make work harder and he was scared of troubling the fans. If he managed to just fade away quietly, at least he wouldn’t hurt anyone but himself.

If Yutaka wanted to reach him, just taking a step wasn’t enough. He would have to come all the way. Shou was too scared to move.

“Good night”, he said.

A soft click resounded in the room, as Yutaka switched off the lights. The darkness behind Shou’s eyelids became even darker.

He wondered if Yutaka was still scrolling on his mobile. He wondered if the screen was illuminating his profile. He wondered if his lips would curl up in a smile, whenever he saw a funny post.

Shou wanted to open his eyes and check on him badly. He wanted to watch Yutaka, because that was what he always wanted to do.

To eliminate the temptation, he rolled to the side, turning his back towards Yutaka’s bed and his face towards the white wall of the hotel room.

He groaned as he moved.

Lying still, he had almost forgotten how sore the rest of his body felt. It wasn’t just the neck. It was his back, too, and his legs that felt heavy and painful. Today on stage, he had really overdone it.

“The neck?”, Yutaka asked.

“Everything”, Shou groaned. “The neck, the shoulders, the back, the arms, the legs.”

The scarf had fallen over his shoulder and was now touching Shou’s cheek. It smelled of Yutaka.

“Stay warm”, Yutaka reminded him.

“For fuck’s sake, Yutaka”, Shou called out. “Warmth doesn’t help against everything!”

The scarf in his face made him angry, but if he moved his arm, he would have to move his shoulders as well, and the pain would grow worse. But the kindness hurt, too. Yutaka’s smell all around him hurt.

“You could at least let me try to help you!”, Yutaka returned, now also raising his voice.

“You don’t know what kind of pain I’m dealing with”, Shou spit out.

He wanted to take the words back immediately, because they gave away too much. But a part of him had also wanted to get them out. A part of him had wanted to force Yutaka to finally listen. In the dark, it was easier to speak. In the dark, no one could see you anyway.

“I know”, Yutaka said, very softly.

Shou’s chest felt weird. It wasn’t hurting. It wasn’t fluttering. It was just very cold.

Yutaka wasn’t supposed to know.

“I could help with that pain, too”, he added. “But you won’t even let me close to you.”

“You are making it worse”, Shou repeated the words he had spoken earlier.

This time, even Yutaka couldn’t miss out on their true meaning.

“I could make it better, too”, Yutaka said. “If you gave me a fair chance. But you are so scared I will hurt you, that you won’t even let me try.”

Shou pressed his eyes close again. This time, it was to hold back the tears.

Too scared to move, still.

“How would you even try?”, he forced out.

His voice was even, more or less. Long practice there, too.

It wasn’t just a question. He was begging Yutaka to take another step. All of the steps, until the pain in Shou’s chest would vanish. With the right answer, it might disappear.

For a long time, there was nothing but silence.

Then Shou heard rustling from the other bed. Tap, tap. Bare feet on the floor. Hesitant steps. Several of them.

Shou’s heart beat violently.

His blanket was pulled back. The mattress sunk under additional weight. Yutaka lay down. He wrapped his arm around Shou from behind.

“I’d keep you warm”, he said.

Shou inhaled deeply. It sounded shaky.

Yutaka’s chest was resting against his back, keeping it warm. His legs were against the back of Shou’s legs, keeping them warm. His hand was pressing against his chest, slowly melting the cold away. He didn’t feel like dissolving, he didn’t feel like shattering. Held like this, his body was real and present.

“Because, you know”, Yutaka mumbled and the scarf was pulled down a little from Shou’s neck. “Warmth helps with everything.”

His lips were soft against Shou’s neck. They felt warm, too.

“Maybe it does”, Shou whispered back quietly and took Yutaka’s hand, entwining their fingers in front of his chest.

Kiryuuin Shou was a man who knew pain.

He knew the pain of having to pay taxes and parting with money, that he could have hoarded on his bank account otherwise.

He knew the pain of lying awake at night, when falling asleep seemed impossible and the sadness overwhelming.

He knew the pain in his throat, back when singing had become almost unbearable.

He knew the pain of sore muscles after a concert.

But when Kyan Yutaka held him in his arms like this, he almost didn’t hurt at all.

[sparrowwritings]

How Shy met Ver Day 3 -- Honesty

Previous Chapter -- Next Chapter 

This interview wasn’t going well at all.

Verity tried once again to keep eye contact with this woman--Shiloh, she remembered--to no avail. She kept looking around the café like something was going to jump out at her. She also was asking stupid questions and not paying any attention to the answers she got.

Why someone this paranoid would put up a flyer to find a stranger for a roommate, she had no idea. Still, Verity was desperate. The tension was also raising up her hackles, so to speak. Something had to be done about this.

“Look, this is going nowhere.” Verity blurted over one of Shiloh’s irrelevant questions. For what seemed like the first time in this entire interview, the other woman’s attention was firmly on her. Her large blue eyes slowly blinked, and Ver only continued after that. “You need to figure out if you want me for a roommate and I need a place to live. Since you and I both need real answers, the best way to do it is make a quick pact.” She reached into her backpack and pulled out a container of salt. Several curious fae creatures scattered at the sight. Most of the other patrons in the café didn’t pay any attention.

Instead of arguing, Shiloh actually started to look relieved. To Verity’s shock, the woman even smacked herself on the forehead. “A quick pact! Of course! I should’ve thought of that!” She snatched the salt away and poured enough of it to fill her cupped hand. Instead of sprinkling the grains around the table to make a circle, Shiloh spoke to them. Power echoed from her voice as she did so. “Harm will not befall us, truth must be told but none will hear us speak, the spell ends when we’ve decided if we’ll share a living space. This pact will be held by Shiloh and Verity within this circle of salt.” She then blew on the salt. 

The grains, buoyed by the yellow colored magic from Shiloh’s breath, formed a circle around the women’s chairs. A translucent sheen appeared, keeping them inside. The pact was sealed.

“...Never seen someone use their voice for magic and *not* rhyme.” Verity admitted. She had other thoughts, but she didn’t *need* to voice those.

“It’s a common misconception.” Shiloh leaned back in her chair enough that the front two legs lifted off of the ground. This was a far different woman than the one Ver had met only a few minutes ago. “The more famous big spells use rhymes because the casters--and everyone else--believed that rhyming makes a spell more powerful. Magic’s powered by will, and when you’ve got the wills of other people backing you up all of a sudden you’re doing impossible things like that.” She snapped to make her point and then shrugged. “Mostly I just like casting spells with my voice more than using my hands. Makes it harder for people to know what I’m doing ahead of time.” Shiloh smacked a hand over her mouth but Verity was already laughing. 

“I like it! I mean, I’ve got some of that mojo but I need to really work at it to get the flow going, you know?” She grinned.

Shiloh snorted, which scrunched up her freckled face in funny ways. “A regular handywoman, huh?”

They both laughed, the earlier tension forgotten.

After calming down, Shiloh put on a less nervous version of what Verity could only assume was her serious face. “Alright, now that we’re *actually* doing this, I say we start over.”

“Yeah, let’s just get this over with.” Ver also leaned back, trying to project a calm she no longer had. Just because she *had* to tell the truth didn’t mean she couldn’t lie through her body language.

“First of all I’ve gotta ask--You definitely don’t do drugs and only responsible amounts of alcohol, right?”

“The closest thing to drugs I’ve been near on purpose in the past quarter of a decade has been catnip. And on occasion I’ll try whatever it is my friends are having, but otherwise I don’t drink.” Easy peasy. Ver didn’t even need to tell a half truth.

“And you’re not associated with any gangs?” Even as she asked this, Shiloh looked Verity up and down. She was currently wearing a white tank top with a camo-printed overshirt that she’d left unbuttoned. Her jeans were a grayish black and in need of a wash even though they passed the sniff test earlier that morning. She didn’t have any markings on her skin other than a couple of scars, including one on her eyebrow. Overall, there was nothing that implicitly said anything about her being in a gang. Still, Ver could see why she’d ask.

“Not unless my friends have something they wanna tell me after all these years.” Shiloh smiled briefly before she returned to her serious look.

“You’re not cursed, bound to unnatural forces, in another pact or anything else that might end up hurting me?” She winced a little. “Uh. Not that I want to think that you might hurt me on purpose, but still…”

This question gave Verity pause to think. “...before you freak out, I’m trying to figure out how to word this.” She warned. It took her another minute before she spoke again. “I don’t think that what I’ve got is a curse, but a lot of people do.” She locked eyes with Shiloh and her brown eyes shifted into yellow, slitted ones. 

Verity kept talking, even as Shiloh scooted her chair back into the pact’s barrier. A disappointing result, but not an unexpected one. It’s not like she could actually *harm* the other woman right now anyway. “Look, all I need’s a roof over my head until I can figure out what my next step is. I’ve got a job and I’m willing to pay for half of rent and utilities while I’m there. You don’t even have to worry about food for me, I can fend for myself.” She spread her arms into what she hoped came across as a lazy shrug. “It’s okay if you say no. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been told that.” Perks of being a Were, she’d say if blatantly untrue sarcasm would work in a pact like this.

Furrowing her brow, Shiloh bit her lip. She tapped her fingers on the table. One of her legs bounced in her seat. She looked like she wanted to get up and pace, but the circle was only big enough for their two-seater table. Verity had a feeling that she also would’ve taken out her phone to frantically text someone if the pact hadn’t kept her from doing so. Data plans didn’t exactly account for magically binding promises to stay in one place until they get finished.

Finally, she seemed to come to something of a decision. “You’ve got full control over it?” 

“I’ve got full control over her, yes.”

Her cheeks started to turn pink, but she pressed on. “I’m not gonna end up dead on some full moon night, am I?” 

“No, a monster’s not going to eat you on a full moon.” Verity just barely kept from rolling her eyes. “But if you really need to be sure, just keep some silver in your bedroom. She won’t bother you anyway, but she definitely won’t come near silver.”

Shiloh stared into Ver’s eyes, searching. For what? She had no idea. After a couple of beats, the other woman nodded. “Alright. I dunno how smart this is, but I need rent money and you need a place to stay. We’ll call it a trial run. Three months sound good to you?”

Not a ton of time, but still more time than she ever could have managed living out of a hotel. “You’ve got it.” Verity put out a hand. Shiloh grasped it. 

“Then we’re agreed,” Her voice again reverberated with power. “I accept your offer to live with me. The pact is concluded.”

The translucent barrier broke into millions of motes of magical energy around the two of them before fading out of sight. Verity was tempted to say that Shiloh wouldn’t regret the decision, but she kept it to herself. Even without the assurance of magic, that sentiment would’ve rung false.

[luckyspike]

Adventures in America, Ch. 4 - In which Crowley makes a friend and the guardian goobers receive some unexpected news

Chapter 4 is Crowley and Aziraphale centric so enjoy because we probably won’t really see them for a while after this. Maybe. IDK I haven’t written much beyond this.

Not on AO3 yet in case I decide I want to change major plot points later I guess or something lmao and also i dont want to disappoint anybody in case i never finish this

I really like this story leave me alone

Ch 1/Ch2/Ch3

-

“You really think sushi is a good idea?” Aziraphale asked Crowley, while he watched the demon fiddle with his jacket collar in the hotel mirror. “We are in America, Crowley, and you know I did think we should try to get a bit of the local flavor while we’re here.” He gave up dragging the brush through his hair, still damp from the shower, and turned his attention to his shirt cuffs instead.

Crowley considered this, pulling his t-shirt down and then back up again. “Right. Well, angel, I’m not opposed to anywhere else but let’s put it like this.” He turned to Aziraphale, hands spread. “It’s supposed to be a great sushi place and we’re about to embark on at least 6 weeks of hauling up and down the American midwest, which isn’t exactly known for its sushi. Roadside barbecue? Yeah. Terrible fast food? Absolutely. Hole-in-the-wall diners with great desserts? Undoubtedly. Fresh sushi? Probably not. And if the goal is to minimize miracles during this thing, if you get a bit peckish for some sake nigiri then you’re just going to have to wait until we’re back in civilization.”

Aziraphale hummed. “Well. When you put it that way. I hardly think the American midwest is uncivilized, though.”

“We’ll see about that.” He turned back to the mirror and re-folded his collar once more, flipping it back up and looking satisfied, although Aziraphale would have been hard-pressed to describe what, exactly, he’d changed. “Definitely not known for its sushi.”

“No. No, I suppose not.”

Crowley turned, and then raised an eyebrow. “No waistcoat?”

“It’s hot out.” He frowned as Crowley grinned. “Don’t start with the whole ‘this is nothing compared to Hell’ nonsense, dear, I know that but not all of us struggle with thermoregulation.”

“Fair enough. It’s more casual, too. Very … American.” He offered his arm. “Shall we?”

Aziraphale couldn’t help but smile a little as he took the offered elbow. “I think we shall, Crowley dear.”

Dinner was delicious, and Aziraphale had to hand it to Crowley - sushi was really a good idea. Especially if he was going to be at least 6 weeks without. The demon didn’t eat, not unusual, but he seemed to appreciate the wine well enough, and when Aziraphale took the opportunity to compliment the chef (in Japanese, naturally), Crowley chipped in that he thought the restaurant was quite nice, too*. They tipped the waitress generously, and took their leave, Crowley begrudgingly sobering up before they clambered into the massive vehicle to start combing the city for any signs of Adam and the other storm chasers.

[* Crowley did not speak Japanese particularly well, and Aziraphale had tried for years to help him with grammar, syntax, and pronunciation, without much success. Still, he had mastered a few phrases, and ‘very nice establishment’ was one of the more socially-acceptable ones he’d grasped.]

“How do they know where the storms are?” Aziraphale asked, as they cruised down a side-road, Crowley looking sharply into the parking lot of a low-cost hotel. “It’s not as if they’re scheduled occurrences.”

“They’ve got laptops and the like in the car,” he replied, distracted. “Radar and GPS and all that. They follow the storms that way and go to the ones that look most promising.”

Aziraphale raised his eyebrows, and turned to scan the parking lot of a Red Roof Inn. “Quite technological.”

“Yeah, it’s a whole thing.” Crowley slowed to study a truck in another parking lot, and then shook his head and pulled away. “I brought the stuff to do the same thing, s’back in the room.”

“So that’s what was in that bag.” Aziraphale considered this for a minute. “And, ah, who are you expecting to use said equipment, Crowley?” The SUV stopped at a red light, and Crowley suddenly looked thoughtful.

“Huh. Didn’t think about that.” He shrugged, and looked over to the car next to them idly. Aziraphale, focused on the topic at hand, didn’t notice the revving of the other car’s engine. “You could learn,” Crowley said. Aziraphale, lost in thought about technological advancements in meteorology, didn’t register the distraction and, under that, the devilish glee. 

“I’m not much good with computers.” He sighed. “I do have the old accounting machine, but -” He stopped, because the 4-Runner’s engine revved rather loudly. Alarmingly. He looked over to the demon. “Crowley?” Something caught his eye. “Crowley, this car wasn’t … I’m certain this wasn’t a manual transmission when we picked it up yesterday.”

“Wasn’t it?” Another hum of the engine. The radio crackled, and songs shuffled through the speakers, seconds at a time, as the SUV cast around for something that would suit. It paused on a song by - who else? Aziraphale thought - Queen, but then moved on, searching through a few more before settling on something with a heavy bassline, electric guitars, and a prominent drum piece. It was bebop, and Aziraphale didn’t like it. Crowley looked thoughtful. “It’s better.”

Aziraphale did have to hand it to the car: the vocalist’s shouted “Go!” coordinated perfectly with the light changing from red to green and Crowley, predictably, slamming the gas. Relatedly, it also coordinated with Aziraphale’s rhyming yelp of “No!”

Tires shrieked and the SUV roared forward, while Crowley laughed maniacally as he shifted through the gears and wove around slower traffic down the long street. The other car - the instigator, Aziraphale tried to assure himself, although he knew Crowley had probably tempted them into it without even trying that hard, the old snake - was a smaller outfit, two doors and sleek, with an iridescent paint job and chrome flashing on the tires. It was also, to Aziraphale’s horror, keeping pace, roaring along beside their car, in spite of surrounding traffic and Crowley’s absolutely death-defying steering. 

“Crowley, what are you doing?” he half-yelled, half-groaned. “You’re going to get us killed! Or arrested!”

The demon whooped. “Just a bit of fun, angel. Hang on!” Another gear shift, and the car accelerated, hitting a highway on-ramp and roaring onto the freeway. The other car, momentarily behind, followed suit. 

“We’re supposed to be looking for Adam,” he reminded Crowley, right hand with a white-knuckle grip on the ceiling handle and the left with an equally tight grip on the center console. “Crowley, please -”

“We have all night to find him.” Crowley glanced to the left, and caught sight of the other car, prompting him to accelerate. The dashboard in this vehicle was much larger than the Bentley’s vast even, and although Aziraphale was moderately terrified for the state of his corporation - he couldn’t imagine Heaven being inclined to give him a new body these days - he did risk a lean over to check the speedometer.

Ah. That was a mistake. He sat back, and pressed himself against the seat. Silently, as they wove through other cars and played leapfrog with the other racer, Aziraphale prayed. Crowley, for his part, laughed over the song blaring from the speakers, and drove, only ever taking his eyes off the freeway ahead to check the progress of the challenging vehicle. The 4-Runner groaned in protest as Crowley quickly changed gears to slow down, swerve around a box truck on the right shoulder, and then speed back up again, rocking back into the lane in front of the truck and taking off. The other car, slowed by a vehicle only going about 20 miles per hour over the speed limit in the passing lane, had to brake hard, and for a few blessed moments, Aziraphale thought it was over. Crowley would slow down now, surely.

Instead, the demon leaned out of the window to better make a rude gesture at the other car. There was a blaring of a horn, and in the rearview mirror, Aziraphale saw the other car break free of the traffic and start to catch up. He groaned, hand over his eyes, prepared for another round of acceleration, but was surprised to hear, over the rushing wind of Crowley’s open window, someone yelling, “Hey, man, get off next exit!” Crowley yelled something in response - very rude, Aziraphale thought - but slowed down anyway, guiding the car off the freeway, tailed by the other car.

“What are they doing?” he asked, cautiously, as Crowley braked again, and turned hard into the parking lot of an International House of Pancakes. The car lurched into park, and Crowley hopped out. The 4-Runner, relieved, shut itself off without any miraculous input at all. 

“Probably looking to fight. Don’t worry, angel, I’ll handle it.”

“Fi - Fight? Crowley, this is America, they probably have guns!” He jumped out too, half-jogging around the back of the massive vehicle until he fell into step beside Crowley. The other car, glimmering under the fluorescent lights of the parking lot, shut off, and two young women stepped out. Yes, definitely American, Aziraphale thought, with a disapproving look toward the ripped jeans and artfully torn t-shirts. The woman who had been driving had a baseball hat on. Backwards. Aziraphale rolled his eyes. Americans.

“Dude,” the driver said. “No joke, man!” To Aziraphale’s surprise, when she reached for Crowley, she didn’t attempt a stab or a punch, but rather grabbed his outstretched hand and shook it enthusiastically. She looked to her companion, laughing. “Told you this guy’s like my dad’s age! The fuck you learn to drive like that, man? You drive like a bat outta hell!”

Crowley smirked. “Bat out of London, actually - way harder driving there.” 

The other woman crossed her arms, her expression one of pleasant surprise. “Shit, dude, you’re British, too?” She flipped her long braid back over her shoulder and smoothed a lock of dirty blonde hair down. “Now I’m really impressed - you stayed on the right side of the road and everything.”

The driver rolled her eyes. “Shut up Leanne, it’s not that hard to remember after like, a week. This your ride?” She approached the SUV, hands on her hips. “Don’t see too many of these that can race like that, you know.”

Crowley winked to Aziraphale, and then sauntered up behind the driver, hands in his pockets. “It’s a rental. We just flew in this afternoon. Sorry, didn’t catch your name.”

“Call me Mary. Who are you, dude?”

“Good name, Mary,” Crowley said, grinning over his shoulder back at Aziraphale, who scowled. “Used to know a Mary. Great lady. You can call me Crowley.”

“It’s short for Mariel. Mind if I look under the hood?”

“Be my guest.” He followed her to the front of the car and Aziraphale and Leanne followed behind, Leanne studying Aziraphale and Aziraphale still glaring at Crowley. The hood of the car popped up, and Mary whistled.

“How’d you end up with a rental with a manual and a V8?”

Crowley leaned a hip against the bumper, arms crossed. “Oh, you know, only the finest Enterprise rentals had to offer.” If Mary found that suspicious, she didn’t remark on it, save to nod approvingly and slam the hood of the car shut.

“Well, anyway, thanks for the race. Super fun. Don’t think I’ve pushed Bella up past 110 in a while.” She shook her head at this appalling state of affairs. “Everybody else around here knows me and backs off before we hit the highway. Poor girl never gets room to run.”

“Tragic. Mustang, is she?”

“Yeah, had her from new,” Mary said, smiling fondly back at her car. Aziraphale could see Crowley soften to that. “Leanne and I have put all kinds of work into her - if we hadn’t got stuck in traffic she would’ve had this thing on the straightaway for sure,” she added, patting the hood of the rental. “You got me with the traffic, though.”

“It’s an art.”

Leanne had since circled around to the front of the car with the rest of them, and gently slid her hand into Mary’s. She looked to Aziraphale, head cocked. “Who’s your friend?”

“Ah, Azir - er, Ezra,” he corrected quickly.

“Nice.” Leanne looked from Aziraphale back to Crowley. “Are you guys -”

“What do you drive back home?” Mary asked, ignoring Leanne’s line of questioning, for which Aziraphale felt he should probably owe her a debt. 

“The Bentley. It’s a coupe - vintage.” Crowley added.

Mary’s mouth opened a little. “Woah, no joke? Shit, dude. You got pictures?” His phone was already clearing his pocket before she’d finished the question. Aziraphale shook his head.

“It’s cool,” Leanne commiserated, patting Aziraphale on the shoulder as Mary stepped away, the better to look at probably all of the photos of the Bentley Crowley kept on his phone. She was already marveling at the condition - “I’ve looked after it,” Crowley said proudly - and Leanne went on, “She’s got like four thousand pictures of her car on her phone, too.” She shook her head, and then brightened up. “So what’re you guys doing in Texas? You come in for a festival or something?”

“Oh, no, no, we’re here on holiday. Vacation,” he added, in case she hadn’t understood. She giggled.

“Yeah, I got it. That’s cool. Why Texas?”

He thought about it for a second. “Just seems very American. I’ve never been, and it’s been years since Crowley last left England. Thought we would mix it up a bit.”

Leanne nodded solemnly. “Greatest state in the nation. Well, Mary’s partial to Nevada, but she’s wrong. Anyway, that’s cool. So you just driving around, checking out the night life?”

“Something like that,” he lied. 

“You should try Rain on 4th,” Leanne suggested. “I think you’d like it. Great music, really great drinks and uh, I think you guys would fit in with the crowd there.”

Aziraphale pretended to think it over. “Rain on 4th. I’ll say something to Crowley. We were just thinking of turning in, though, finding somewhere to stay.”

“That’s why you kept slowing down in front of hotels.” Leanne, suddenly, sounded relieved. “We were wondering about that. Like, Mary thought you were looking for a race, obviously, but I was like ‘what if they’re murderers stalking their next victim’?” She laughed. “That’s a relief, anyway!”

“Oh!” Aziraphale forced a laugh, but he was sure he hadn’t been able to hide the shock on his face before she noticed. Murderers? “Oh, my dear, no, no definitely not murderers. No. But, ah, would you have any recommendations? For places to stay, I mean.”

Leanne put her head to the side. “What kind of place you guys looking for?” She looked from Aziraphale, back to Crowley, and then to Aziraphale again. “I mean, the nicest chain place is going to be the Marriott, probably, or the Westin, but like, there’s the Omni and -”

Aziraphale held up a hand, and resisted saying that yes, the Omni was very nice, pity they wouldn’t actually be using the room. “We’re looking for something a little more … economical. But clean,” he added.

“Oh, okay.” She thought about it. “Well, steer clear of Red Roofs and Motel 6’s, then. I found blood in the bathroom of a Red Roof one time**, and like, they totally acted like I should be cool with it. Super weird.” She shrugged. “Microtels are usually pretty clean and super cheap. Uh, I dunno, the chain places. Hiltons or Doubletrees or whatever.”

[** Author’s note: True story, I totally did. Stayed in a Red Roof the night before I flew to Austin to stay at the aforementioned Westin for a conference (all expenses paid, hell yeah) and boy those could not have been two more polar opposite experiences. From bloody bathroom tiles to five-star service BOY did I get some whiplash.]

“Microtel,” Aziraphale said thoughtfully. “Cheap and clean, you said?” He glanced over to Crowley, and found that he and Mary had left to discuss Bella’s engine in more detail. 

“Yeah, over by the airport.” Aziraphale started walking leisurely back towards the Mustang and his demon, Leanne falling into step beside him. “You going to be in Austin the whole time?”

“Hm? Oh, no.” He shook his head. “No, we rented the vehicle for easier travel - we’ll be moving around for a few weeks, seeing the sights, you know.” He nodded his head toward Crowley. “He loves a good, ah, road trip.” He raised his eyebrows as Mary and Crowley started crouching down in front of the car, obviously considering sliding underneath it to get a better look, right there in the International House of Pancakes parking lot. Mary even had her phone out to use the flashlight, but Aziraphale pointedly cleared his throat. Crowley paused.

“What, angel?”

“Aw,” Leanne whispered, exchanging an affectionate glance with Mary. 

“Hotel, remember?” he said, jerking his head back toward the car, hands folded behind his back. “We were looking -”

“Yeah, I remember. We’ve got a minute.”

“I’m quite tired.”

Crowley was looking at him flatly. Had there not been unfamiliar humans around, he probably would have lowered his sunglasses to really fix Aziraphale with a look. “You’re tired?”

“Yes,” he replied primly. “Miss Leanne was kind enough to recommend some reasonably-priced hotels that will be clean. By the airport.” He raised his eyebrows significantly. Crowley continued staring. “With excellent freeway access.”

The demon groaned. “Yeah, alright. Alright, I get the point.” He held up a hand. “Five minutes?”

Aziraphale sighed. “Very well. Five minutes.” Crowley nodded, enthusiastically, and then he and Mary slid under the Mustang, Mary talking excitedly as the flashlight beam flickered from one mechanical piece to another. Aziraphale sighed. “At least he’s having fun.”

Leanne laughed. “Hey, mind if I ask about your coat?” When Aziraphale looked confused, she went on, “I do some costume design on the side for a little theater company, and that’s a really neat coat. Like, looks like it could have been straight out of the nineteenth century.”

“I suppose it does, yes,” Aziraphale laughed. “I have had it for quite a while.” He shrugged, grinning, and parroted Crowley’s earlier assertion. “I’ve looked after it.”

“So what’s it made of? Was it custom or - ?”

In reality, it was probably more than five minutes, but Aziraphale was more than happy to discuss his coat with a young woman who appreciated good tailoring. Eventually, when Crowley and Mary emerged from under the car, brushing themselves off, it was Crowley who reminded Aziraphale that they really ought to be going, but only after he and Mary had exchanged numbers***. Leanne had been highly appalled at Aziraphale’s statement that he didn’t actually have a cell phone, but he assured her she was welcome to text Crowley any time she might have questions about period clothing, and Crowley only grumbled about it a little. 

[*** When Mary had expressed concern that texting or calls wouldn’t work with an international number, Crowley assured her that his cell carrier was very accessible worldwide, and could pick up messages from anywhere she could think of, and probably a few places beyond that.]

“Hey, enjoy America though, alright?” Leanne added, as the two pairs started to draw apart, backing away toward their respective vehicles. “You guys ever have any questions or whatever, you can hit this girl up!”

Mary looked at her disapprovingly across the hood of their car as she opened the driver’s door. “What, you’re a tour guide now?”

“No, but like, they’re in a strange country, I’m just being nice.” Leanne stuck her tongue out at Mary. “I’m allowed to be nice if I want to.”

Mary snorted. “Yeah, I guess.” They smiled fondly at one another, and then, as one, turned and waved at Aziraphale and Crowley. “Anyway, bye guys! Nice to meet you. Thanks for the race!”

Once back in the 4-Runner, with the roar of the Mustang fading behind them, Aziraphale settled in, pulled his seatbelt on, and smiled happily. “What nice young ladies. Miss Leanne was quite helpful with local hot-spots, too.”

“Yeah.” The key turned in the ignition without Crowley’s input, as the car grumbled to life. Hesitantly, the radio flickered on, the volume so low as to be almost inaudible, and Aziraphale clicked it off. “Good catch on that hotel tip, by the way.”

“You know, if we find Adam,” Aziraphale said, as Crowley steered back onto the freeway, following signs to the airport, “and there’s enough time, she did tell me a nice place to get a drink, if you’d like.” Crowley hummed in noncommittal acknowledgement. “Rain on 4th, she said. She was very complimentary - what are you laughing about?”

“Oh, angel.” Crowley shook his head, and tossed his sunglasses into Aziraphale’s lap. “Never change.”

“You know the place? I thought you said you haven’t been to America -”

“I have Twitter. And the internet. You read things.” He glanced sidelong at the angel. “Bit like your club you went to at the end of the nineteenth century.”

Aziraphale’s eyes widened. “A gentlemens’ club? Oh, it’s been years since I’ve been to one.”

Crowley was looking at him. “Do you -” He trailed off and looked back to the road, fingers drumming pensively on the steering wheel.

“Do I what, dear?”

“Never mind.”  He jerked the wheel to the right and swerved from the left lane and onto the exit ramp, while the horn of a car he’d cut off blared behind them. “You do know what a gentlemens’ club is, right?”

Aziraphale chuckled. “Of course I do, dear. I rather liked spending time with those lovely men - we all really did have similar tastes.”

“Ungh?” Crowley said, hastily looking out the window and into the first parking lot they came across - it was for a Jiffy Lube, which was most definitely not where Adam was staying. 

“Of course,” Aziraphale went on, “they also used it as a cover to engage in their sadly-taboo love affairs. I didn’t partake in that, but the dancing was nice all the same.” He reached across the console, which was so broad that it made what would normally be a comfortable gesture physically impractical and somewhat awkward, and rested his hand on Crowley’s leg. Crowley made one of his little noises, still looking out of the window, and Aziraphale smiled. “I think you would have liked it, if you hadn’t decided to sleep through that portion of history. I am rather sorry about that.”

“Ngh, I know, angel.” Suddenly, the car lurched, as Crowley slammed on the brakes. “Hang on.” He squinted. “What’s it say on the side of that red truck?”

“Dear, you stopped in the middle of an intersection.” When Crowley glared at him and failed to move, in spite of Aziraphale’s pursed lips and the honking of various cars cautiously steering around them in the middle of the intersection, he sighed. “Get closer, I can’t read the front from here.”

“Right, fine.” Crowley pulled forward, drove across the sidewalk, and pulled up alongside the truck. “S’that it? Says it’s it, right?”

“It says ‘Big Sky Severe Storm Spotters’ just there.” Aziraphale indicated the front of the truck, where a small decal had been placed. “Is that them?” He looked up to the hotel, while Crowley nodded. “Oh, Microtel.” He smiled. “She does work in mysterious ways.”

“Huh?” Crowley slung his arm across Aziraphale’s shoulders, the better to look behind them as he reversed back over the sidewalk. “Who?”

Aziraphale considered it. “Leanne,” he settled on. “This establishment was her first suggestion when I asked for a hotel recommendation.” Crowley snorted. “I know, quite the coincidence, wasn’t it?” He frowned, as Crowley pulled back onto the freeway. “Why are we leaving?”

“Gotta get our stuff, don’t we? Don’t!” He reached over and grabbed Aziraphale’s hand as the angel lifted it to snap his fingers. “No magic, if we can help it. Don’t want him to know we’re here. And we’ve got time to grab our stuff before we stake them out.”

“Ah.” Aziraphale nodded, and didn’t say anything when Crowley relaxed and let his arm fall to the console, his fingers still wrapped around Aziraphale’s. “That does make sense.” He settled back into his seat, more comfortable, breathing a small sigh of relief when he saw that Crowley was barely going over 90. 

It was the work of an hour to pick up their bags, load back into the car, and return to the Microtel where the truck was still parked. Crowley pulled into a parking lot across the street, with a good view of the hotel entrance as well as the truck, killed the lights, and hissed something to the car. The engine, to the car’s great surprise, idled more quietly. Crowley nodded, approving, pulled his phone out, and tilted the seat back, his heels propped up on the steering wheel. 

“So now we wait?”

“Now we wait,” Crowley agreed, scrolling through something. He paused, squinting at the phone, and zoomed in on something. “Oh, hey, wait a second before you start in on whatever book you’ve got.” Aziraphale stopped moving, his hand halfway to his briefcase. “Got an email from Lucky.”

“Oh!” Aziraphale stopped, and held out his hand. Crowley dropped the phone into it. “Here, I’ll read it. Oh, bother.” He puzzled over the phone for a minute, taking a moment to zoom back out and then a further minute to actually open the email. Crowley remained silent, eyes closed but a small smirk on his lips. “Don’t look so smug, Crowley, it’s unbecoming.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Very well, here it is. It reads:

“‘Hi, Nanny,

‘Wow, sounds like you and Brother Francis have had a nice spring! Glad to hear you had an okay time at the flower show, even if you didn’t win anything. Hah, I’m sure Francis reminded you winning isn’t everything but whatever, it is kind of great to win sometimes -’”

Crowley sighed fondly. “He’s always been so competitive.”

“‘ - but having fun is cool too, I guess. Anyway, I graduated from high school! I attached a few pictures of my graduation - the cool cat next to me in most of the pictures that isn’t my mom or dad is my friend Hal, I think I’ve told you about them before. Wish you could have come to meet everybody, but I get that traveling trans-Atlantic is rough, especially if you don’t like flying.

‘Are you guys doing anything this summer? I’m super excited - I told you I’m starting college for climatology in the fall, but I didn’t know until a week or two ago that before I do that, I get to go on a road trip this summer! Sort of road trip. Like, weather-related road trip. I’ll be’ ….” Aziraphale trailed off, blinking at the text on the screen, before he swallowed, his mouth suddenly very dry, and continued, “‘ I’ll be storm chasing across the midwest this summer. I’m really excited to see some severe weather close-up, and I’ll be working with a couple of researchers so hopefully I’ll learn a lot, too.’”

Aziraphale looked to Crowley, who was staring at him. “You’re kidding,” Crowley said, eyes wide. Aziraphale shook his head, and bent back over the phone, picking up the tempo as he read. 

“‘Although I’m sure you’re probably super excited about me chasing the hellish fury of a vengeful God, just in case Brother Francis is worried please let him know that it really is very safe, and the researchers I’ll be working with often take meteorology and climatology students on storm tours, to teach them - me, I guess! - about severe weather patterns, how to spot developing dangerous weather, and other stuff like that. I mean, I know you’re probably all about widespread destruction or whatever, but sorry to disappoint you since I guess I’m hoping to learn how to prevent casualties and warn people to get to safety! Brother Francis is super proud, I’m sure!

‘Anyway, I’ll email or text you from the road if you want. I can even send videos and pictures! I’m sure you’ll get stuff on snapchat too. Plus, the researchers - Rachael and Noel - update their Facebook page with events from the road during chasing season too, if you want to see their videos and stuff, which’ll probably be way better than anything I take on my phone. You might even see me in a cameo haha! I’ll be internet famous. Discovery Channel, here I come! Their company is called ‘Big Sky Severe Storm Spotters’, they’re the only one on Facebook I think.

‘So that’s the update! Hear from you soon!

‘Infernally missing you guys or whatever,

Lucky’”

Silence permeated the interior of the car for a few minutes. The engine, embarrassed, idled more quietly still. Wordlessly, Aziraphale handed Crowley’s phone back to him, the two of them staring fixedly out of the windshield for a long, long time. Across the street, the red truck sat in the parking lot lights, and somewhere in the hotel, two anti-Christs^ were sleeping soundly.

^ Sort of.

 Crowley was the first to break the silence, reaching his hand up slowly to cover his eyes, and pulling his knees in closer to his chest. He sighed. “Well, shit.”

-

Now with Chapter 5!

[tacosandtomcos]

Spoiler Review for The Book Of Spells! pt 3!

Glad to see people are really enjoying these overviews of the past queens!

Sorry this one took longer, i have other things to take care of and it gets in the way sometimes.

but now that we’re back let’s get started-

So we’re actually at the midpoint of the book, and before we get to rhina, gloss has a section in here about mewberty and the mewberty form.

the midpoint of the book also points to where the queen sections are with comments from gloss about all of them. Though let’s do a overview of this section on the mewberty form before we get to rhina

We already get the gist with it in the show, that it’s a powerful form that gives you helpful tools for you as a magic user, but here’s some bonus info that’s new to us.

The book is meant, according to daron, to allude to some future events, so we should be on the lookout for anything important.

Mewberty and dipping down

You tend to pop into this form when feeling strong emotion

Mewberty wings only show when needed

keeping your wings clean is important, don’t machine wash them.

Those sparkly eyes are called omatidia eyes, they let you see more then one dimension at a time. Soupina got stuck in this state and she never came back, she went mad. So don’t let yourself get lost with this power.

these eyes also let you read every language.

your emotions can increase and decrease your density, helping you fly. Dirhhennia might never have gone through mewberty, but she had many accounts of waking up on the ceiling and crashing on her bed.

the arms also only pop out when needed, sometimes they can be hard to make go away though.

your voice may change in this form, explaining star’s weird voice when killing toffee. It’s a multidimensional voice, just like with the eyes. 

Each queens always has some unique signifiers in their mewberty form. Cres grew a big eyebrow each time she dipped down for example. Then it turned into a caterpiller and ran into the forest.

Negative emotions like envy and anger make for bad dipping down, making your form messed up and your magic unpredictable. while love and protection of another help you do fantastic and make your magic at it’s most powerful.

Tbh, alot of queens don’t manage to dip down, and it’s not exactly a bad thing considering the radiation it lets off. So it’s not frowned upon if you can’t do it.

Gloss then has a checklist of all kinds of silly things for him to do.

Here are my favs on here though

“Say nothing but globgor for a whole year” ( I can’t BELIEVE he wrote that down as one)

“Do nothing for five days”

“Change my voice” (Lol)

“Be a bridesmaid”

“Throw away all pants”

“die and be reborn” (Which he gave 4 checkmarks to, so uh..how  much has gloss died?)

Also he has ones he crossed out, which means he never intends to do them.

He crossed out things like “Learn how to apologize” and apologies to a number of characters.

it’s a funny page that you should see for yourself.

Then he has a page on all his bug pets and their names. He has six bug pets, three silkworms, a centipede, a beetle and an earwig.

He seems to love them like kids more then his OWN kids (The mhc), he even has pet names for them.

Gloss also has a bedroom in here, it’s weird and clearly a bit meta since there’s concept art in it on a drawing board.

Rhina

Rhina’s queen poem is basically alluding to this very same book getting destroyed when it gets to star.

Her crystal is unique, a nubrikian spinning cube, there’s only 7 in existence in all the universes. she has to rearrange the cubes before every spell. Also they’re hypnotic and staring at them is a bad idea.

she writes notes to herself.

She rhymes alot in her chapter..

The hear on her wand is rare and perfect for riddle craft.

her book is full of riddles to solve for fun.

The edge of her wand can cut glass.

Some text are written upsidedown or in weird positions.

She has a pet turtle she likes having by her side, she was only allowed to keep it in her chambers after she was queen. Her best friend got him from the cats with human faces dimension, because he belonged to a cat prince and her friend won him. He was a present to rhina when her friend first came to the caslte.

She actually has 5 millhorses inside her wand, one being her mother’s.

She has steps on doing riddles. You have to collect them, find a subject, size doesn’t matter, know the answer first, draft ,metaphors, alliteration, let the answer speak about itself, share with friends. 

Didn’t like Reynaldo the bald plate (That rando mch member) cause her made meetings riddle-free. She asked her mom to get rid of him, but that wasn’t possible, they kinda do what they want. Her mom still had her hand in alot of decisions through her daughter, rhina likes the help.

She was kinda hoping her mom would be queen a longer time and would not mind it it were forever, but she would rather spend a ton of time organizing her many spellbooks.

Finds gloss messy and bossy but at least he likes her riddles.

Friends with someone named lady gyoza, she came to stay with the family when rhina was age five and they’ve been friends since. They like to go on walks and braid daises in their hair. Gyoza looks like an owl because she’s 1/4th owl, she even sleeps late like one.

her turtle likes top-hats. also he has a mustache.

Skywynne knew lady gyoza’a grandpa, so that’s why she joined their family, for family friendship.

She made national riddle day on her birthday, which made every loyal subject give her a riddle. It wasn’t a success in the end.

was really bored about her meeting with the mch on the monster conflict.

uses riddle magic to make her spells, making the spells work is the hard part though. The trick of course is the spinning of the wand’s cubes and she only set gloss’s beard on fire five times anyway.

uses some cleaner to help make her wand spin right, it makes it look shiny too. It also smells like flowers from septarias, which gloss may be allergic to.

Has exercises for using objects with your arms, recommends asking a witch doctor or doctor before doing them. They’re weird ones with a book and a crystal ball. (Make sure if anyone lives in the book you tell them first before you do the exercise.) 

Changed from doing “Entries” to just posting her thoughts.

She and Gyoza went to a demon ball wearing black cat masks, and no one knew who they were. She liked not being seen, would want to wear masks more often, watch the sunrise from castle namparts.

Has an ideal perfect morning, and wrote it down.

Rhina kinda seems asexual and aromatic, she dislikes her mom encouraging her to find a king and her friend talking about love, rhina just finds it all boring.

has a page on special cube forms for her spells.

bit her nails and sometimes had to use her toes to move her cube.

has been to earth since one cube form is based on a chihuahua., it makes her wand bark after each spin.

Used a spell on Reynaldo to make him like riddles, but he ended up only speaking in riddles from then on. She and gloss could not find a counterspell. So they made him retire.

Her friend eventually left and had a going away party.

in the beginning of her chapter she reminded herself about this red ribbon as a reminded for something about the cats with human faces dimension and it becomes a running gag in this book that she forgot why she has it.

has a spell to disarm monsters with your attitude or inner beauty. This spell made some flower monsters in the forest cry.

She forced herself to fall in love using a spell, despite how much she didn’t want to and dated a second cousin of the lucitors named John Roachly who was very talented and they ended up married. (And i hate to bring this up again but for those of you about to pull the incest card on tomstar, if you do the math tom and star would be 6th cousins based on this, which would not be considered related, nor would tom and star share any dna between them. They’re distantly related due to rhina’s marriage, but they’re so distant it would not make them related nor should affect their relationship. I feel i HAVE to say this because lord knows this fandom will use anything it can against a ship regardless if it’s actually true or not.).

Rhina wanted to basically break John’s heart after this was over with, apparently he was a cruel person too, and get them separated. But she ended up KILLING him. Making her a window while she was still pregnant with celena. Cresenta is also apparently dead by this point but rhina thinks she’d be happy to know the queen line is still continuing.

She was really upset about killing john despite him being a jerk, her friend and turtle comforted her.

Rhina and Gyoza loved the great book of fashion, they liked to make fashion of their own from it.

She met with king ponyhead and his oldest daughter to discuss what happened with john. The demons were furious about the incident and they wanted to speak with them and try to make clean between them. Her bestie was not convinced this was gonna work.

her turtle passed away.

as she got older her wrists made it harder to do magic, but she didn’t need to do much anyway. She just wanted some to help make peace with the demons. 

Gyoza doesn’t trust the demons.

She wanted to bring celena with her to the meeting but she just hid in the drapes, and she got the book as her mom left to see what she could do to make it up to the demons.

So that’s rhina, not my fav in the book, as sometimes i can’t read her writing and turning the book in so many different angles was a little annoying. But her focus on riddles is unique and i like seeing different types of magic explored. For spells based on riddles they became far too literal and had bad effects in the process. When it came to her inner beauty spell, it made the monsters feel as bad as her, making them cry.

Also no, where she came from is never explained.

it’s kinda a shame that i feel the most people will take away from this chapter is the fact tom and star are distantly related (Despite the distance making them NOT related). But it’s interesting to see more on demons considering there so far isn’t too much on the lucitors in here. We haven’t even seen a single pic of a lucitor ancestor yet.

I have been made aware though, the lucitor and butterfly tensions because of this never fully resolved itself...until star and tom’s time.

Poor rhina though, pressured into kids and being married from her mom and it only led to problems with their allies.

Celena

Oh yay, another queen whose handwriting is hard to read

we don’t really get to learn much on celena’s wand...since she covers it with her fan, people who try to look with be cursed with painful shyness.

New millhorse, i think this millhorse if my fav so far, it’s so eerie and cool looking. He’s even shy like her, and he’s actually a ghost. He was also one of the five in her mom’s wand.

she also rhymes alot, i think she gets it from her mom. She writes poems more then riddles though for her spells.

she mostly looks at the ground, rather then people. She even says sorry to toadstools and fences if she bumps into them (they have feelings too). She also never speaks in public. Rhina though, doesn't like her saying sorry to non-living things...unless it’s in a riddle.

Gloss thinks she’s adorable.

Her spells are rather odd, there’s one dealing with love, but it’s it’s meant to make you fall in love or fall out of love is hard to tell.

has potions on attracting spirits and to make you a spirit, she was a potions master after all.

her chapter has all the Aureole signs, which are basically mewman zodiac signs. I can’t really explain all of them but if you need a pic just ask. Star even put the earth months and days here since mewni had their own months for this before.

She has a spell on mending a broken friendship. Something i feel is much more likely to be in s4 then some of the other things in this book.

Shyness is a gift to her, she only has to talk to who she wants to talk to, also she likes gloss, she thinks he’s small and silly.

There’s a protection charm in here.

Celena and her methods of magic rely more on herbs and such, it’s interesting. She just never seems to actually use her wand for any of her spells.

She has a cute little song about a pumpkin she grew.

She has a whole page on tarot cards, some familiar faces are on some of these cards.  As in, the other queens, Skywynne is represented as the queen, jushtin is represented as the king, Cresenta is true love,  and solaria is battle strength and that’s only some of them. These cards are made to cut out as well.

And that’s it, i’m honestly not kidding.

Celena has very little to say on her chapter and there’s nothing in terms of her family, her rules, the conflicts, or anything.

we aren’t even made aware who she married.

star in the beginning of this chapter is disappointed in the lack of secrets. But i wonder if celena had really any secrets at all, maybe her biggest secret...is everyone just thought she had one?

that or, if she had any secrets, she kept them out of this book.

She’s an adorable queen though, strange case.

Estrella

Estrella actually hated writing, she actually didn’t write anything in her chapter. Instead GLOSSARYCK actually is the ones talking and explaining about her in most of her section as we browse through her art. She says a few things but even still her chapter is very short.

Her wand was a pen, if it had magic powers, she never used them, she just used it to draw. She ended up devoting her life to art.

Same millhorse as her mom, the ghost one.

extrella was quiet, she didn’t talk much, and as queen she did very little. But this is what made mewmans love her, because there was no real change and they hated change She just spent all her time sketching all alone and finding cool plants that eventually comet made into food.

apparently the avarius’s at the time sank their fortunes in the scratch and sniff trade. Which does explain ludo’s folks a bit...

Red Solanacese was celena’s favorite.

Game of flags with the johansens was a thing by this point.

named a smelly plant “Crying dirt pile”.

found some sand to eat on her potato salad , calls it “Frown sand” and it tastes really good, she brought some back to the caslte.

Estrella drew during her MCH meetings, it was the only way she stood awake during them. Omni thought it was rude.

Seth is still alive by this point, has a group of rebels, apparently omni thought best they wait it out rather then go to war again.

Estrella’s last page is a sketch of her mom, alot older, her husband Azul Saint, who was a bard, and her baby comet. She calls them, “All of her loves”.

So yes, that’s two queens in a row with small chapters and not a lot to talk about.

it’s kind’ve a shame to me some of these other queens got so cut, i just feel like we could’ve had more on them, or other things happening during their time. But we didn’t. 

They end up feeling like placeholders just there to fill book space and that might bother me a bit. 

Estrella wasn’t much of a talker, but i feel like more could’ve been done with her.

There’s not much i can say because well....there’s not much to say in the fist place, that honestly about covers it.

We’ll continue with he last 3 queens soon enough.

thanks for reading, and i’ll see you soon!

[haunt-the-stars]

Ornaments

Written for Batfam Christmas Stocking 2018 for @starknjarvis27 ‘s prompts “A seemingly normal holiday activity accidentally makes someone sad, someone else comforts them.” & “Jason’s first Christmas back at the manor”

Fandom: Batman (Comics)

Characters: Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd, Cassandra Cain (mentioned), Dick Grayson (mentioned), Tim Drake (mentioned), Damian Wayne (mentioned)

Category: Gen

Relationships: Bruce Wayne & Jason Todd

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst

Every once in a while, Bruce wondered what it was like to have five mostly-grown children in a normal-sized house. Usually, he immediately wished he didn’t wonder about it, because the idea was terrifying. His family not being able to spread out to their own spaces...it would be awful for everyone except perhaps Dick. Even he sometimes retreated for a few hours, and Bruce would find him under a heavy blanket, headphones in, happily shutting the world out.

It was one of those times, when everyone was shutting the world out in their own way. As of this morning, all five of his kids were under his roof, and they would be having Christmas Eve dinner all together in about nine hours. Then Christmas Eve patrol, when Nightwing wore colorful string lights and Red Robin wore a Santa hat and Orphan’s humming of Christmas songs was constant on the comms. But for now, in anticipation of spending so much time together and so much energy trying not to kill each other, they were taking a few hours for themselves.

Bruce checked on Cassandra first, found her curled up with a tablet in the library watching what he had to assume was the holiday baking show she’d been watching so much lately. It’s relaxing, she’d told him. Ace sat on her feet, tail thumping against the chair. Cass waved at Bruce, not bothering to take her headphones out, then signed, “Do you need help?” Bruce shook his head, smiled, and waved back before quietly shutting the door and moving on.

Damian was harder to find, but Bruce eventually discovered him perched on a window seat in the study, fast asleep, sketchbook and a handful of pencils in his lap. Bruce smiled at the sketch of the large tree that stood outside the window. Damian had captured the falling snow, and seemed to have started adding a small bird with a tiny scarf before he fell asleep. Bruce gently moved the book and pencils to a table and replaced them with a blanket over Damian, hoping the chill from the window wouldn’t freeze him.

Dick was next, and Bruce didn’t even have to walk far into his bedroom before he heard the shower running and Dick’s voice drifting out of the bathroom with the steam. Bruce listened for a few seconds, thinking wistfully to himself how nice it would be if he actually remembered how to play the piano so he could share in Dick’s love of music. Damian had just started letting Dick teach him how to play the guitar, and Bruce would be lying if he said he wasn’t just the tiniest bit jealous of yet another connection they had that didn’t involve him.

He moved on down the hall to Tim’s room, and got another auditory confirmation of wellbeing in the form of Tim’s bright giggles, and then a, “It’s definitely just ‘moose,’ Bart.” A pause, then, “Well, house rhymes with mouse but it’s houses, not hice, right?” and then, “Kon, shut up,” and then more laughter, which made Bruce’s heart warm. He ignored the fact that the giggles were probably due to Tim’s obvious crush on Superboy, because to acknowledge it would be to acknowledge that yet another son of his had a thing for men who could bench press him. He had lost enough sleep over Dick, and Tim had his own contingency plans. Probably.

Bruce considered stopping his rounds there to avoid agitating his most volatile child. He had seen him just an hour or two ago, and it was unlikely that anything life-shattering had happened in the meantime. But a worried little drive always seemed to win over in situations like this. He couldn’t relax until each bird was accounted for, and after spending so long not getting to check on Jason, it was a privilege he never wanted to pass up. Especially today, given the circumstances.

All five birds in his nest for Christmas...for the first time.

True, each year had brought them a little closer to it, with Jason first sneaking in during the night to drop some mania-driven notes and presents, then the next year coming for an awkward visit during breakfast, and finally this year, a hesitant maybe to Alfred’s invitation. Truthfully, Bruce didn’t think he would come. His visits were slightly more frequent than they used to be, slightly more peaceful, and Bruce knew that he and Dick had a standing monthly dinner date, that he and Tim were steadfast video game partners, and that he genuinely seemed to like Cass and Damian. But when it came to Bruce, everything was still a battle.

He was sort of hoping for a Christmas miracle come dinner time tonight, that maybe they’d get through a whole twenty-four hours without conflict.

The room that had unofficially become Jason’s was empty, as was his childhood bedroom -- expected, since Jason usually wanted nothing to do with it. Bruce would have checked the library next, but he had been in there to see Cass and Jason wasn’t with her. Alfred was unaccompanied in the kitchen, putting a sheet of sugar cookies into the oven, and reported that he hadn’t seen Jason any more recently than Bruce had.

Beginning to worry, Bruce was about to make his way back to the study to check down in the cave when he heard the faintest of sniffles.

Oh no.

He stepped silently backwards until he could pinpoint the noise that was coming from the sitting room. It was quiet, but unmistakably Jason. Bruce could pick out the sound of any of his kids’ tears from a mile away, even if some of them were more apt to let him hear than others. He had to come up with a game plan, though. Dick and Cassandra both liked to be held when they were upset, while Damian usually calmed down with verbal reassurances and Tim was content to have someone sit with him and listen.

When Jason was young, he used to like Bruce to sit and listen to him too. But sometimes when he looked at his son now, it was like looking at a stranger. So different in the ways he talked and moved and felt that Bruce didn’t know how to take care of him, didn’t know how to love him anymore.

But he had to try.

Bruce came around the corner into the sitting room to see Jason sitting, legs crossed, face buried in his hands, under the Christmas tree. There were at least twenty Christmas trees in Wayne Manor, most of them in the front entryway and the ballroom, but those were decorated with big, plain, shining balls. The eight-foot beast in the sitting room was for all the ornaments each of his children had collected over the years, from the very first little elephant he’d given a nine-year-old Dick to Damian’s new tiny tray of teacups. Jason, despite his huge and intimidating stature, looked small beneath it.

“Jason.”

Jason started, lifted his head, and groaned. His voice was brittle and his face was red. “How much would it cost for you to go away?”

“I’m a billionaire.”

Jason huffed, rubbing his eyes with his sleeve, and Bruce stepped further into the room, doing his best to look open and non-threatening. Open palms. Loose arms. Just like Cassandra taught him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Nope,” Jason said. Bruce shrugged, and sat down next to him, keeping just a bit of distance between their shoulders. Letting Jason come to him.

Praying Jason came to him.

“It’s not fair,” came Jason’s pitiful whisper after nearly a minute.

Bruce resisted the urge to turn and face him, hoping he’d feel more comfortable this way. “No, it’s not.”

“You don’t even know what I’m talking about.”

“It’s probably not fair.”

A startled, choked half-laugh came from Jason, and then a hand was in front of Bruce’s face, uncurling to reveal an ornament. One of the first ornaments he gave Jason, in the shape of a tire.

It had seemed funny at the time.

“I was thirteen, when you got me this,” Jason says, and Bruce nods patiently. “And that was seven years ago. I’m twenty.”

Bruce had a bit of a feeling he knew where this was going, but he nodded again. “Yes, you are.”

“I’ve only been...a-alive, and...sane, for...sixteen years, total.”

Now Bruce did look over, saw Jason shudder and another tear slip down his cheek. “I missed so much. I missed getting my license, and my prom, and my graduation and birthdays and I’m here fucking crying because I missed getting some stupid fucking ornaments.”

Bruce felt his heart sink. “Jay…”

He had nothing else to say. Jason’s lip quivered and his breathing stuttered, tears coming in a slow trickle as he collapsed forward into his hands again. “I’m not twenty yet, Bruce. I can’t be twenty. I can’t be twenty when I was never sixteen or seventeen or--”

“Shh.” Carefully, Bruce laid a hand on his son’s back and rubbed up and down his spine. He wasn’t sure how well a hug would be received yet. But maybe this could be a compromise. “You don’t have to be twenty. You can be sixteen if you want.”

“I can’t be s-sixteen.”

“Why can’t you?”

Jason looked up at him like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I can’t be younger than Tim.”

That was another thing about Jason. No matter the circumstance, no matter if they were sitting on the floor and Jason was crying, there was no one that could ever make him laugh more.

For a few seconds, Bruce felt horror crawl up his spine as he let out the most inappropriate, uncontrollable laugh he had in years. A rare “bat-guffaw,” as Dick would call it. Jason stared, wide-eyed, shocked into breathing steady again.

And then he laughed too.

Bruce hadn’t really heard Jason laugh since he came back with an adult voice. He’d heard him cackle, heard him mock him, but never laugh earnestly like a child being tickled.

His new laugh was nice. Low and loud and bubbling up through his tears as they both dissolved back into giggles every time they looked at each other. A little bit hysterical. But that suited him, Bruce supposed.

When they finally calmed down, Jason scrubbed at his eyes again, sniffling. “I’m a fucking mess.”

“You should wash your face. I’d...like to take you somewhere, before dinner.”

Jason raised an eyebrow. “Where?”

“The mall, maybe? Somewhere with a Christmas store. I think...I think we have some ornament shopping to catch up on.”

Please be the right thing to say.

Jason grinned.

--

They picked out five ornaments, in the end. A motorcycle, a little stack of books, the Gotham skyline, a tiny pair of combat boots, and a pair of comedy and tragedy masks.

It wasn’t until they were checking out that Bruce noticed Jason had added a small bat to the pile.

Maybe this would be the first of a new kind of Christmas.

[mayaparker]

Something Stronger Than Blood; 

“And not by something as accidental as blood… by something much stronger. By choice” - Wolfgang Bogdanow, Sense 8

@fanesavin & @faye-andrews ask Maya if she wants to make their family official. 

Faye put the last of the dishes in the dishwasher and closed it up, hitting the Start button before drying her hands on the dish towel hanging by the sink. The sun was almost fully set out over the water, filling the kitchen with warm, muted light. The view from the windows was always a grand one, even on dreary days. But it was especially lovely today. Faye turned to lean against the counter, picking up her glass of wine as she watched Fane finish putting away the leftovers. It was Sunday, and they’d had Maya over for dinner per the usual. She was upstairs right now, reading a bedtime story to Eowyn at the little girl’s insistence.

Faye took a sip of her wine, feeling warm and content as she watched her fiance (she still felt slightly giddy every time she called him that) continue to fuss over how the fridge was arranged. “You’re cute when you’re nervous,” she commented after a moment. Though Faye was nervous too. They had something planned for tonight. Something important. Something that would potentially change their lives and Maya’s life forever, depending on how things went.

“We can postpone a bit, if you’re not ready.” Faye knew Fane was more than ready, and so was she, but giving him the option of waiting a few more days never hurt.

Fane had a specific method to organising the fridge, certain things going together both for the sake of convenience in how often they were used and also simply making it easier to find things. Little things like keeping the milk, eggs and cheese together or any meat set out for defrosting or open packets on the same shelf and so on and so forth. The ordering made sense to him and Fane liked that it made sense. The same meticulous nature showed through the rest of the house also. Little ways things were ordered or placed either for the sake of aesthetic or general tidiness.

Right now he was fussing mostly for the sake of keeping himself occupied while Maya was elsewhere. They’d both agreed on this and Fane was of course excited, but there were some nerves there too he wouldn’t lie and say there weren’t. They had agreed that even if Maya said no it wouldn’t change things, but Fane wasn’t sure a part of him wouldn’t feel a little bit disappointed. “Someone put the juice in the normal spot of the milk,” Fane murmured while rearranging said items as if were some sort of denial to the fact Faye knew very clearly. It really wasn’t a big deal and normally he wouldn’t fuss quite so much but little things mattered especially tonight.

“What?” he asked shutting the door finally and going to help himself to another glass of blood wine from the pantry. “No, no, I want to do this…” he reappeared holding the glass by its stem until he came to a stop near where Faye was leaning. “I just want it to go well, you know? I know it doesn’t really… change anything, but you know…” he trailed off knowing she’d get where he was coming from.

“I’d say it wasn’t me, but it was me.” Faye was used to Fane’s fussing. Her own fridge back at the cottage, before they’d moved here, had been a hodge-podge of items shoved wherever they would go. No rhyme or reason to it. Like her disorganized cabinets, it had quickly fallen victim to Fane’s organization skills. Some people might find it irksome, or strange, but not Faye. It was just another facet of who Fane was, and he had his reasons for it.

Though his current reasons were more about distraction than anything. They had agreed that tonight was as good as any for what they had planned, and Faye agreed that it wouldn’t change anything between the two of them and the young woman they already thought of as their daughter. That being said, she also knew that Fane would be slightly disappointed if Maya declined their offer. Honestly, she would as well, but Fane would perhaps have a bit harder time with it in the end. But Faye was confident it would go well. Fane would never have suggested it if he hadn’t thought long and hard about it, taking into account everything he knew about Maya and her past. And about who she was now.

“I know,” Faye said gently, looking up at him as he came to stand nearby. “You don’t have to explain anythin’ to me, love.” She reached out to rub his arm. “Just… be you. The rest will work itself out.”

“I’d ask who it was if you said it wasn’t you,” despite how Fane was feeling a smiled cracked across his features until he eventually let them be to come and join Faye. His eyes drifted to the large floor to ceiling window panes that let the light from the evening sunset flood in softening everything it touched.

“I know I don’t,” his head turned to her as she rubbed his arm moving his hand to cover her own and smile though this one was a little smaller. “I guess I’m just worrying myself for nothing.” It happened from time to time, when important things were going on in their lives like this. “I’ve got everything sorted, it’s in my office so I’ll go grab that in a bit…. I don’t want to overwhelm her with it all.”

“Just tryin’ to keep you on your toes,” she said around the rim of her glass. “And it’s not nothin’. It’s important. I’d wonder if something was wrong if you didn’t worry.” It wasn’t a far stretch to say that sometimes Fane could overthink things. And that could make him anxious at times. Nervous about the outcome. But it was nothing that couldn’t be overcome.

Faye smiled again, a bit softer as well. “Fair enough. Though I think on the list of things that have tried to overwhelm her in her lifetime, this’ll hopefully fall on the good end of the spectrum.” Faye knew what he meant though. Asking was one thing. Having the documents there and present, ready for Maya to sign if she wanted was another. It wasn’t just a nice idea at that point. It was real. And real could be frightening.

Maya finished reading to Eowyn and set the book down on the young girl’s nightstand. She smiled softly, unable not to feel nervous. There was stress, nervousness in the air; there had been all evening. Her mind didn’t even question the path it went down. To her, it made perfect sense that Fane and Faye would be telling that she was no longer in the family. It had happened too many times before. And a little over a year was a long time to be in a family. It would mark the second longest she’d ever been kept around. Plus the proximity to the anniversary of the worst day of her life wasn’t helping. She didn’t know what she would do. Maybe ask Ryden if he’d let her hitch a ride when he left. Maya couldn’t stay, she knew. Ten years of watching happy families that hadn’t wanted her around town was more than enough.

At the top of the stairs, she took a deep breath. She then walked down the stairs, a little louder than usual in an attempt to let Fane and Faye know she was coming. In the kitchen doorway,  she paused, “I’ll just head home then, yeah?” As if she could delay it long enough to keep it from happening. She smiled, the expression almost real.

“Well if four hundred years can give you something it’s certainly the ability to doubt things for what they are and the capacity to worry about the well-being of your loved ones,” his tone though humorous belied the unfortunate truth of that fact. Some grew confident with time, Fane had simply grown a little less unsure though he could fake confidence rather well. People could surprise you but they could also severely disappoint you and more often than not Fane found himself questioning the sincerity behind people’s actions because while he wanted ever so much to believe the best it was often far harder to simply let himself do so until they showed their worth.

Hearing Maya stomp down the stairs Fane’s head tilted in that direction and as the young woman herself appeared Fane smiled about to say something when Maya announced that she’d be off. “What?” there was a genuinely confused note to the question standing up straighter considering Maya often stuck around for a little while normally, “We…” he glanced at Faye suddenly feeling rather off kilter. “Uh, we were hoping we could chat to you about an idea we had. I mean, that is, if you have time…”

“I can’t argue with that. But… it can also give you a very good sense about some people. The ones that matter.” This house was literal proof of that. Fane had done everything but sign the final papers before he’d asked her if she thought moving in together might be a nice idea. And if she thought the house might be a good place for that. That was the short version, of course. But point being, Fane had to have known Faye well enough by then to be fairly certain she’d say yes.

As Maya came down the stairs, announcing that she was going, Faye made a sound of surprise as well. She glanced at Fane, seeing that he was as confused as she was, but when he rolled into things fairly quickly, she relaxed a bit. “It’s something we can’t possibly decide without you,” Faye added, already taking Fane by the arm and herding them all towards the other room before anything could unravel. “Won’t take but a second, hm?”

Well, there went that plan. Still wearing her porcelain smile, Maya forced herself to nod. “Uh, yeah, sure,” she replied. When they turned to head into the other room she took the moment to swallow and briefly shut her eyes tight. She was going to be okay she had to tell herself. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t survived this before. Of course, it was horrible every time. And she was losing more than just family this time. She was losing the closest thing to home she’d known in a long time. She was losing the chance to have a bakery of her own with Tuah. She was losing the freedom of using her magic in a place where everyone knew it existed. She was going to lose almost everything.

Maya followed Fane and Faye into the other room. As she sat across from them she forced herself to keep her hands still. It was never easy for the person doing the letting go either. She wasn’t so self-centered as not to realize that. She would make it as easy as possible: wouldn’t scream or cry, wouldn’t demand to know why they had made promises only to break them, why they had made plans only to break them. It would be easy and quiet for them.

She sat, waiting for the other shoe to finally drop.

There were certain things that a smile could hide, unfortunately Maya seemed to forget that Fane could notice things like the abnormal rhythm a heart might adopt or spike in adrenaline that came in the face of uncertainty and unknown situations. “It’s nothing bad,” he told her quietly wanting to try and reassure her of this fact as they headed for the lounge.

Once in there Fane momentarily sat, though he found he couldn’t do so comfortably or without feeling somewhat awkward and distant. He was overthinking it of course, and eventually he chose to abandon sitting for moving over and kneeling in front of Maya so that while he might not be quite level with her he could see her properly. “Here’s the thing,” he started hoping things would make more sense soon enough “over the last year you’ve made so much progress, in your confidence, in discovering who you are and your magical capacity… You’ve found new friends and– I hope I’m not overstating but, I hope you’ve found a home here in Springs.”

He glanced over at Faye for a moment before turning back to Maya, moving to take her far warmer hands in his cool ones and grip them with a gentle firmness. “But we know that you worry about these situations and relationships being temporary… That while all these things are amazing for you a part of you will always worry when they’re going to be taken away… So, Faye and I were discussing uh- methods of making things more permanent and secure for you… One specifically came to mind and we were hoping to get your opinion on it.”

Faye could feel the tension in Maya as she herded them all forwards. So when Fane spoke up, Faye heaved her own internal sigh of relief. Though whether it would help Maya or not would remain to be seen.

Faye sat on the edge of the sofa next to Fane, but unlike him, she remained seated when he rose to kneel in front of Maya. She couldn’t imagine what sort of thoughts were rolling through the young woman’s head right  now, but Faye knew there was a high chance that not all of them were good ones. As Fane spoke, Faye sat and waited patiently, though her own heart was racing a bit faster than normal. When Fane glanced at her, she smiled softly and gave him a nod, telling him he was doing well. And she was right there with him.

“Like I said, we can’t decide without you,” Faye added. “It’s… actually it’s completely up to you.”

Maya watched, with wide eyes, as Fane sat for a moment before standing and walking over to kneel in front of her. She couldn’t quite comprehend what he was saying. Her mind had been so ensconced on its one track that switching as she took in this new information caused her train of thought simply to crash completely. She couldn’t believe it. What it sounded like Fane, and Faye,were saying was so outside the realm of possibility that she couldn’t fathom the meaning. She had written it off as a possibility almost a decade ago.  

For a long moment she didn’t say anything. Instead she blinked a few times, expression blank. “I’m sorry,” Maya said finally, her shoulders dropping as she looked between the two of them, “What? More permanent? What are you talking about?”

In situations like this Fane couldn’t sit still, he could do calm and collected when the need arose but when it was truly personal? When he was very much invested in the topic there was no curbing his restlessness, he ended up fidgeting with things or fidgeting on the spot. Too much energy to simply sit distant and tell Maya their intentions, hence why he ended up kneeling by her chair and lightly taking her hand in his own. With people he cared for Fane was tactile, he would hug and show them affections through physical gestures if he felt comfortable enough to do so with them.

Maya didn’t seem to catch the gist of what he was suggesting, and a part of him worried what she must’ve been thinking up until now. So he gave her hand a squeeze, his other coming to cup it in his own as he sat back on his haunches. “Well,” Fane said patiently taking a moment before elaborating “if you’d like… Faye and I were discussing the idea of filing to officially adopt you into our family. I know it’s not something we need to do, you’re a part of the family regardless and you are an adult after all.” He gave her a warm smile “I know that neither of us want to replace the memory of your parents but well, we both love you and want to support you in everything you do so between us we decided that we would the choice… Not that we expect you to decide here and now, but um, we wanted to give you the choice regardless.”

Faye did her best not to tear up as Fane finally got to the point of everything. She had her own issues with family, mothers especially, and in same fashion always doubted her ability to be a proper one. Even though Eowyn was clearly a thriving, entirely too smart child. There was still that fear of messing up. Of ending up like her own mother. Out of her mind and hurting the ones she professed to care for.

She nodded in agreement with everything Fane said. “There’s no… time limit on it,” she added. “You can decide whenever you want. A month from now… a year. Whatever’s best for you.”

Maya started to laugh. She couldn’t help it. It spilled out of her as her mind tried to reconcile the words she was hearing and the life she had resigned herself to. This, being properly adopted, was something she’d long since given up hope on. She wasn’t even sad about it anymore. In the last year she’d had started learning how to be part of a family again. But being officially and legally so had never crossed her mind. It didn’t help her process the information that she had walked into this room thinking that she was going to be tossed out again.

“You don’t want to adopt me,” she said between almost hysterical laughs, “No one does. You don’t…I don’t…That doesn’t make any sense.”

It took several minutes for the disconnect between her expectation and the situation actually in front of her to adjust and make sense. Because everything Fane and Faye had done and said indicated that they did want her to be in their family. It was as logical a step as anything, but Maya couldn’t understand. She had spent too long being told that she wasn’t worth it, that she was too loud, too troublesome, too much to ever be someone’s daughter again. She managed to stop laughing and asked, “Why would you want to do that?” Her tone was genuinely confused. She was too loud, too troublesome, too much. She knew that. She had lived with that for a long time.

Laughter, well, wasn’t what Fane had anticipated to be greeted with upon giving Maya the option to consider whether she wanted to be adopted into the family or not. But the fact it was her response, that she thought this some kind of joke made his heart ache and left him with an acute sadness for the things she had endured that had left her this way. She was strong for everything she had endured, but it didn’t mean she should have endured it in the first place. She deserved to have the world at her feet and every opportunity life might afford her, not to be turned our time and time again just because people weren’t willing to stick through the rough patches.

So hearing her state rather plainly what they didn’t want to adopt her only served to deepen that schism of sadness. “We do love,” he affirmed with a quiet certainty bringing Maya’s hands to his mouth and kissing them softly before lowering them back down. “We want you, if you want to stay.” He didn’t mind saying it again, no matter how many times she might need to hear it Fane would repeat it just as quietly certain as he had already.

When she stopped laughing to ask her next question Fane glanced back at Faye and then Maya. “Because we all love you very much, and we want to give you the home you always deserved to have but were never given.” Fane hesitantly raised a hand, pushing a few loose strands back out of her face so that he could lightly touch her chin and get her to look at him. “You’re our daughter, you have been for the last year and we want to continue that unconditionally… No clauses or… traps that force you to stay against your will. The only thing that matters to us is what will make you happiest, what you choose and want for yourself.” His thumb lightly brushed the line of her jaw cradling her cheek with a soft paternal sort of affection. “And like Faye says… If you don’t want to make the decision, or if you don’t want to… None of that changes anything. You’ll always have a place in our family, our lives and our home.”

Hysterical laughter. That was… well, better than some things. Worse than others. But Maya was still sitting there, still taking it all in. She hadn’t bolted for the door. She wasn’t saying no. But what she was saying broke Faye’s heart. How anyone could be so heartless and cruel as to turn away a child that only wanted a place to belong. A home. A family. Children needed love. They needed to know that no matter what they did, no matter how badly they thought they’d messed up, no matter how terrible they thought they’d been, that their parents would always be there for them. Love them no matter what.

There was little that Faye could say that Fane hadn’t already put out there. She agreed with everything, and nodded encouragingly as he glanced back at her again. The tears were there, and it was only a matter of time before Faye wasn’t able to hold them back any longer. “Everything he says is true, Maya. If you’ll have us.”

It still didn’t make sense to Maya. She tried to work through it, brow furrowed in deep concentration. She shook her head and opened her mouth to speak. After a moment she closed it again. If there was one thing to be said for everything that Faye and Fane had done to make her believe that they wanted her around it was that she spoke honestly now. Of course what she had to say spoke volumes about what she had been through before. “That doesn’t make any sense,” she repeated first.

She then asked, “Why would you want me? I’m not a better person than when I was twelve. I’m actually a worse person than when I was twelve. I’m a huge slut, I drink too much, I’m too loud, can’t follow a rule to save my life. I’m pretty sure the only reason I graduate high school is because they didn’t want to have to deal with me anymore. I mean I…I killed someone. I emptied a fucking gun into him. I’m more trouble than I’m worth. You have to know that by now.

“Don’t you know that by now?”

Maya was definitely not laughing anymore. She could see the sincerity in both of their faces. Which said they thought that they meant it. But they couldn’t mean it. No one ever meant it. Or if they did –

No, she wouldn’t think about when they did want her around.

Instead, Maya just stared at the two adults in front of her who were they saying that they did want her and that even if she left there would be a home to come back to. It didn’t make sense. She couldn’t make it make sense in her head. They had seen her bad, seen her in the depths of her own darkness, which should mean they wanted nothing to do with her. Historically that would mean they wanted nothing to do with her, much less let her around their young daughter.

And part of her told her to run. If her limbs didn’t feel so leadened by surprise, she might’ve done it. It told her to run before they agreed with her, before they echoed back to her the words she’d heard so many times before. That made sense. She could understand that.

This didn’t. Wanting her, properly and legally and officially, didn’t make any sense.

It seemed to Fane that saying it wasn’t really working in conveying the sincerity of the request. The fact that Faye and himself very much wanted Maya to be another part in their jigsaw of a family. Maybe there were bits missing, but it didn’t matter the image was still clear as day. They were a family, each one of them. Nothing Maya could say or do would change any of that. “Love if those are the qualities of bad people then I’d say Faye and I are in far worse positions than you are, me especially if we’re going to tally up the number of people we’ve slept with or how much we drink hm?” There was a small note of humour to his words as he tried to lighten what she was saying though he quietened as she mentioned Shaw.

His hold on her hands grew a little tighter, more reassuring and deliberately focussed. “No one present in this room is innocent of any of those same crimes Maya, but that day you were willfully defending not only yourself but Faye and me too. If you think we don’t know who you are by now then I think you’d be surprised and I can certainly say you’re worth all the trouble and then some.”

Knowing that he would need to give her something more solid, tangible proof of what they were asking he patted her hands “wait here.” He took a moment to get up, circling behind the sofa and squeezing Faye’s shoulder as he vanished to his office down the hallway. A few minutes passed before he returned with a leather presentation book that once he was back in front of Maya he offered out for her to take inside being all the necessary documentation not entirely filled in but Faye and Fane’s names were scripted inside pending Maya’s decision. “I even got that pesky birth certificate you were so worried about.”

When Fane got up to go retrieve the papers from his office, Faye took the chance to move over next to Maya. Everything Fane said was true. And Faye agreed with all of it. Her ledger was filled with more red than black. She’d killed men with magic. Killed them with her bare hands. Both quickly and not so quickly. She’d drank enough whiskey in her lifetime to float a battleship. Done things to forget all of it. Things that sometimes worked, but mostly not.

She’d been unloved, unwanted, unsaveable, and unworthy for most of her life. Or so she’d been made to feel. So in part, she knew were Maya was coming from. But she also knew that while telling someone ‘you’re a mess but I love you anyway’ was great, and every word she and Fane had said was genuine, sometimes that wasn’t what was really needed.

Faye took Maya’s hand in hers, but didn’t grip it as Fane had. Instead she turned it over, running a finger over the lines on Maya’s palm. “I know… that you’re a good person. You care deeply about the people around you, even if it scares you. You’re soft in all the ways that matter, but you’re a hard ass too,” Faye smiled. “In a good way. In a way that means you stand up for what’s right. For what’s good. You don’t take anybody’s shit, but you’re kind and generous and trustworthy.  You’re braver than I ever was. You’re smarter than I’ll ever be.” Faye looked down at Maya’s hand again, watching as the places she’d touched glowed faintly. “You deserve the world, Maya. You deserve all the things you’ve always wanted. Love, family, a home… freedom… choice… whatever it is… you deserve it. And Fane and I… we just want you to know that.”

Faye looked back up as Fane came back in. She let go of Maya’s hand as Fane held out the documents he’d been working on. “Your decision,” Faye smiled. “When you’re ready to make it. Nothing changes either way.”

Worth all the trouble and then some. Maya could start to make sense of that. Her brain was slowly working through its confusion. Reconciling what she expected and what she was hearing. She watched Fane go, brow furrowing again in confusion. A bubble of hope started to expand in her chest. They wanted her. Perhaps simply despite logic and history they wanted her. Maybe that made sense. She’d wanted all sorts of things despite logic and history.

As Fane left to get something, although what Maya couldn’t yet imagine what, Faye came to sit next to her. Maya couldn’t watch the older woman’s face and focused instead on the places where their hands touched. But she had to look up and blink as Faye said that not only was Maya forgiven for her sins, but that she had virtues as well. Not yet knowing what to say she said nothing.

Tears filled her eyes. It was real. This was real. Not a fantasy. Not a daydream.

They wanted her.

Properly.

Officially.

Legally.

For the first time since she was eight years old, Maya was going to be part of a family and one that wouldn’t give her back when she got difficult. She was crying before she even realized it. But by the time Fane returned, she was grinning. As the truth clicked into place she felt light like whipped cream. Still a little in awe she picked up the heavy leather book. And there it was in black and white. The most tangible version of a promise they could give her. It still took her a moment to process it. She traced the words with a finger, confirming for herself that it was real. “You really want me,” she whispered in the same awed tone children used when they saw their favorite animal in real life or watched a movie in the theater for the first time. She wiped a few stray tears from her cheek, “I’m sorry, I just…”

She laughed, this time relieved, some of the weight she carried for so long slipping off her shoulders. “I’d given up on this you know? After I ran away to Boston, I just accepted that this wasn’t going to happen for me.

“But yes, of course, yes,” Maya was crying harder. She didn’t remember the last time she’d been this happy. “Obviously I want to be part of this family.” She threw her arms around Faye, just because she was closer. “Thank you. Thank you.”

With the leather book handed over along with all the documentation required to process the request Fane lingered but didn’t hover over Maya. He was acutely conscious of not wanting to crowd her especially considering how by the time he had returned to the room tears were already beginning to track down her face even if there was a rather contrasting grin plastered across her mouth. So he watched with a quiet contentment as she touched the documents seemingly awe-struck and as she admitted a moment later apparently still in disbelief that she was being presented with such a thing.

“Don’t be sorry love, and yes, yes we do,” he reassured his smile growing as he watched Maya all but throw her arms around Faye. A swell of warmth and fondness filled his heart upon seeing the sight and after a moment he crossed over wrapping his arms around both women affectionately before kissing each on the forehead. With Maya’s confirmation only strengthening things he pulled them both in tightly to his chest especially with how much Maya was crying figuring she would need all the comfort she needed right now.  “Well then, it’s official. Maya Parker is now to be an official member of the Savin family. She also doesn’t have to worry about a pesky birth certificate now does she?”

“We really want you, stubborn girl,” Faye grinned, barely holding back her own tears. To see Maya finally, finally realize that she and Fane were absolutely serious in this - and so many other things - was one of the best feelings she’d ever had. Faye shook her head to tell Maya she shouldn’t be sorry, but the words didn’t make it out of her mouth before the younger witch’s arms were around Faye’s neck, holding her tightly. Taken only slightly by surprise, Faye hugged Maya in return, glancing up as Fane walked back in.

“Thank you for wantin’ to be a part of it.” Faye said quietly into Maya’s hair. When Fane knelt down to hug them both, Faye slipped an arm around him too, holding him tightly as he pulled her and Maya in. The moment was only made better by a  peal of high-pitched laughter and the sudden cramble of a four-year old body over the back of the couch.

“Mie’s’tayin’!” she giggled breathlessly in her odd little voice. Eowyn joined in the group hug, throwing her short arms around the heads of her parents and her new sister, blonde curls flying as she bounced up and down.

[csauce-and-chips]

The Tipsy Side

Word Count: 2,032

Featured: Thomas Sanders, Patton Sanders, Roman Sanders, Logan Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Deceit Sanders, Remy Sanders

Pairing(s): Prinxiety, Logicality (though not mentioned).

Universe: Human AU

Synopsis: Thomas has to make sure his friends have a safe time drinking at a party. What he discovers about his intoxicated friends is shocking.

_______

Thomas had no idea what he had gotten himself into.

Being the youngest amongst his group of friends had its advantages and disadvantages. One disadvantages is not being old enough to drink. Of course this sucked for him, and Patton had apologized about it many times before the party really kicked in, but Thomas had just said it was fine.

"You sure, kiddo? I can just hang out with you if you want!"

"It's ok, Patton. I want you to have fun! Someone's gotta be responsible."

How naive he was.

It took only half an hour for the party to really kick off. If you could call it a real party. There was at most 20 people there, however, that didn't stop them from getting wild. Particularly a certain group of four Thomas kept his eye on.

Shockingly, the very dramatic and Disney fanatic got drunk first. Thomas wouldn't have expected him to be a lightweight, but it only took him two shots to get him going. At first, he was laughing and shouting at the house's Alexa to change it to different Disney songs. And then, Thomas delved into the madness of his drunk friends for the first time ever.

A usually flashy and ambitious Roman stumbled over to Thomas at his spot on the couch. It had been about an hour and a half since the party had started and Roman was a mess. Thomas, of course, was a little concerned.

"Roman-" Thomas took his hands to carefully sit the older man next to him, trying to make eye contact with the wasted prince. "Woah, hey now.. you ok, Ro?"

For a moment, all Roman did was blink at Thomas like he was talking in rhymes. Then a goofy, soft grin spread across his drunk face. Thomas stared at him in confusion as Roman flopped against his shoulder, laughing softly.

"Hi Thomas~ you're warm.."

"Uh.. Roman?" Thomas chuckled as his concern mixed with his amusement. "Maybe you should take a nap?"

"Whaaaaat? Thomash- Thomas??" Roman paused in confusion as he squinted at Thomas' jeans as if they contained all the answers. "What was I sayin..?"

"I said you should take a nap?"

"..." Roman broke out in a slurred giggle fit, patting at Thomas' leg like a silly child. "I love you, Thomas~"

Thomas chuckled as he tried to think of what to do next with Roman to take care of his silly drunk friend. That was, before he heard a very loud shout from the kitchen.

"FUCK YOU- NO, NO, SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTH!"

Thomas let out a soft sigh as he stood carefully, moving a pillow to where he was sitting so Roman could lay down.

"Stay here, bud. I'll bring you some water, kay?"

"Thomas, you're so nice to meeee," He could hear Roman start up again as he had already left to push through the small crowd to the kitchen.

Knowing his friends, Thomas was pretty sure that Logan was behind all the screaming. Though Logan was a really intelligent and calm person, he had a temper he's seen jump out on many occasions. Different shouting sprees, but he always managed himself quickly. So this had to be Logan, unable to contain himself with alcohol in his system, right?

Wrong.

Stepping into the kitchen, Thomas was surprised to see Patton, who was pushing at a familiar face with an usually pissed off look on his face. He had a bottle in hand and it was clear that he was drunk.. still... this was a bit unbelievable for anyone who's met Patton.

"YOU'RE- YOU ARE SO FUCKING MEAN!" Patton was half shoving, half swatting his victim into the counter behind him. "YOU JUST MAN- MANIPULATE EVERYBODY AND IT'S SO FUCKIN RUDE-"

"Patton- uh- friendo-" Deciel had his hands up defensively as he bared the brunt of Patton's drunken rage. Can't say he didn't deserve it for what he's done in their high school days, but he's proven himself better since then. Patton seems to have forgotten about.. All of that.

"DON'T FREE-ENDO ME PAL! DO YOU WANT ME TO FIGHT YOU?? I'LL FUCKIN FIGHT YOU RIGHT HERE, IT'LL BE PHYSICAL-"

"Uh, Patton?" Thomas placed a hand on his friend's shoulder carefully, unsure of what his friend was capable of in this state.

"WHAT-" Patton turned quickly, maybe too quickly, but catching himself on the counter at the last second. He squinted angrily, his bottle clanking against the counter.

Thomas sighed as he rested a hand on his friend's arm and cut him off. "Patton, it's me, Thomas. You're getting aggressive-"

"THOMAS HE HURT-"

"I remember, I remember, that was back in high school, remember?" He made eye contact with Patton and rubbed his arm. "Remember how it's been six years since you've been in high school, dad?"

One thing that really seemed to draw him back into the moment is the way Thomas called him dad. Patton opened and closed his mouth a  few times before he let go of his bottle and he sighed heavily.

"..'M drunk."

"That's right. You got it pops." Thomas lead Patton to the kitchen bar and sat him in a seat, grabbing two glasses and filling them with water. "It's ok. Just try to take it easy, kay?"

Patton nodded as he took one of the waters. "M'kay.."

Thomas gave him a smile and a pat on the back. "Thanks Patt."

"Thomas!" Thomas looked up and was surprised to see Remy, who looked pretty drunk himself- however, Remy was excellent at handling his liquor. "Hey Rem. What's up?"

"What's up is that your friend has been in the bathroom for like-fourty minutes and I'm seriously going to snap his neck if you don't get him out of there!"

"Friend?" Thomas circled around the counter to Remy who lead him upstairs. His first idea was that it was Virgil, because his anxiety probably got to him, and he decided to hide out in the bathroom. Of course, just his luck, he was wrong again.

"Logan?"

Logan sat in the bath tub, curled up into himself. He had his face buried into his arms which were wrapped around his knees. His hair was a mess and his tie was dangling from the edge of the sink. So, yknow, it was weird to think that this was his friend Logan.

"Thomas..?" Logan lifted his head out of his arms but still had to rest his cheek against his forearm. His face was caked with tears, his eyes red and his skin blotchy from crying.

Thomas felt awful seeing him like this. Remy had already abandoned the bathroom for now, so he stepped inside, closing the door behind him. "Lo.. what's going on? What's wrong?"

It was clear by the way his bottom lip quivered at the question that that alone had bothered him. Thomas plopped himself on the toilet seat, prepared to listen to his drunk friend.

"I'm drunk Thomas.. imma mess"

Thomas waved it off and put a hand on Logan's shoulder. "Don't worry, Lo, everyone else is a mess too-"

"B-but that's just it!" Logan's voice cracked ad he looked desperately at Thomas through half-lidded eyes. "I'm- I'm supposed ta' be reshponsible! I'm supposed ta' be everyone's mom! What.. what am I supposed ta' do if I can't- can't-"

At this point, Logan was a bumbling mess of sobs and drunken slur. The bottles in the sink and on the counter surface suggested that Logan's drank the most so far. It hurt Thomas' heart to see his friend like this, to see him try to drink his troubles away to only get hit 10x harder with it in this state.

"Logan. You don't have to be responsible for the others all the time."

Logan sniffled as he frown heavily at Thomas, looking ready to cry again. "What'aya mean..? I need.. I need to know you-" a hiccup, apologies "-you, you guys are all acc- accounted for-"

"Look Logan, it's ok if you aren't being the responsible one all the time. We appreciate everything you do for us, you don't need to stress yourself out with us all the time."

His glossy eyes stared at Thomas' clear ones with drunken surprise as a "really..?" Slipped. As if he didn't know that they all appreciated him.

Thomas smiles gently. "Of course, Lo. We may not say it all the time, but we appreciate you. We love you so much. You do know that, right-?"

He fell quiet as he saw Logan had his eyes closed, his breathing still shakey but evenly rhythmatic. Thomas sighed as he stood from the toilet seat, adjusting his friend so that he was laying down in the tub rather than bent over and worse for his back when he inevitably awoke. A towel yo substitute as a blanket wasn't that bad either..

Just as he had placed the deep green material over Logan, someone crashed head-first into the bathroom.

At first, Thomas expected it to be a party-goer he didn't know that was hurling in the toilet he had been sitting on moments ago (thank god for wanting to get up). But instead he found the face of his final drunk friend, hair messier than usual and his shirt.... gone?

"...uh, Virgil?" Thomas asked in lingering surprise as his friend finished loudly vomiting, just the sight of it making him sick to his sober stomach. "You ok?"

Virgil huffed over the toilet bowl as he turned his head to look at Thomas. Every move he made seemed to make him dizzy. However, he didn't seem mad, or upset at all from hurling. What surprised Thomas the most was the perverted grin plastered all over his friend's face.

"Mmm.. hey Thomas~" Virgils voice was the heaviest with alcohol, a hum of pleasure behind it. His eyes were dazed and intent on looking over Thomas' entire figure like he was a hungry animal. "Mhmmm, I'm fuckin' faaaaantastic!"

Before Thomas could say anything, Virgil had shoved himself to his feet. However, it wasn't very steady as the boy stumbled, practically throwing himself into Thomas' arms as he pushed his hands onto his younger friend's chest with a look of stupid desire.

"Virgil..!" Thomas had a red tint to his cheeks as he tried to hold up Virgil's weight so suddenly, while feeling extremely uncomfortable by his actions. "Virgil- please just-"

"Jus' what, pretty boy~? Ya.. ya seeeeexy peice'a meat, hmmm?"

My God, if this wasn't the most uncomfortable thing ever, Thomas wouldn't know what was.

Thomas took a breath as he pulled on a stern tone. "Virgil, your boyfriend wouldn't be so happy if he found out you were flirting with me. Or am I wrong?"

Virgil fell quiet and his smirk dropped. Something seemed to shift in his eyes as he frowned, gripping slightly at Thomas' shirt.

"Wha's- where's Ro?"

"He's on the couch." Thomas sighed ad he realized what was going on. He hated seeing Virgil anxious again, slipping back into himself, but it was much better that when he was being touchy-feely. Plus, he knew Virgil wouldn't want to hurt Roman like that on purpose. "I'll take you. Here.."

Thomas adjusted himself so that he had an arm around the slightly smaller man, flushing the toilet on the way out. He made sure his fumbling, highly intoxicated and highly anxious friend got down the stairs and to the couch safely, glad to see that Roman was well passed out on the couch- oddly curled up with an innocent expression he never seemed to wear.

Virgil seemed to focus more when he spotted his sleeping boyfriend. Thomas let go as Virgil stumbled a little to lie a tad awkwardly next to Roman on the couch. Virgil seemed happy enough but well on his way to passing out hard.

"Mmm.. thanks, Thomas.." Virgil mumbled softly as his eyes closed contently. He would be glad the next morning when he figures out he didn't do anything unscenely with his youngest friend.

Thomas couldn't help but smile, relieved. He glanced around at his friends on the couch and in the kitchen. All asleep, all taken care of and accounted for. He made sure that he had set out a water bottle for each of his friends, along with ibuprofen, for when they all inevitably awake the next morning.

Needless to say, taking care of drunk idiots isn't easy. You never know what to expect. But if there's one thing that Thomas learned tonight was that no matter what surprises come his way, his friends were still his family- still the people he loved more than anybody else in the world.

Thomas made a mental note to scold them all in the morning, anyways.

[ohhhcharlie]

late to this party, but here is charlie!! that kind of rhymed. all right, so i’m hope, she/her, cst and super super excited for seaside 2.0. a little about me: i watch a lot of tv and fall in love with characters far too easily (i’m already in love with all of yours just from reading intros). i adore animals and want like all of them. and if all goes well, i’m gonna be a nurse in a little less than a year! but for now, below is a bit about charlie. also feel free to read her bio linked here. fair warning, it’s not the most updated version. also ignore my outdated connections page. i’ll be working on both some time this week, fingers crossed. hmu for plots or like this and i’ll msg you.

RITA VOLK? No, I think that’s just CHARLIE SIMONS, the 25 year old Brighton resident who has been there for A YEAR AND A HALF. They are currently employed at the BLUE MOON DINER as a SERVER and their coworkers say they’re CHARISMATIC though sometimes NAIVE. If you get to know them better, you might find that SHE WAS NAMED TO RESEMBLE “HARLEY QUINN” AS HER PARENTS ARE HUGE COMIC BOOK NERDS. Don’t forget; they identify as FEMALE and use SHE/HER pronouns!

to start off, her birthday is tomorrow! she’ll actually be turning 25, but for the sake of simplicity, i just rounded up as it’s so soon. 

born and raised in birmingham, england with a now watered down brummie accent. sounds a bit like felicity jones if you need reference.

her parents met when her mother was studying abroad in the states, so her dad is american (from georgia)  while her mum is british (from cambridge). they are both giant nerds and passed that trait down to their kids as well. 

her parents are super supportive and chill with pretty much anything she does. they care about their daughter’s happiness the most. charlie’s especially close with her mum, and the two will often hang out together. 

she has a younger brother by two years named cam who is definitely one of her best friends, and he often acts like the older one than she does. he’ll be going back to uni v soon, which charlie is in denial about since he’ll be leaving home. 

about a year after she graduated uni, her family moved to brighton for a change of pace and the nicer weather. her mother quit her corporate job to become a personal accountant who works from home though not that often. her dad still stays busy though as he’s a neurologist at a local hospital.

charlie graduated goldsmiths, university of london with a degree in media & communications and italian. she developed a passion for filmmaking and has been a part of a number of student productions, both in front and behind the camera. though she prefers behind the camera and wants to go to film school to be a director or cinematographer. 

it was how she met her ex-fiancee estelle who she was with for around two years. they were engaged shortly after graduation, but after estelle’s mother died, their relationship crumbled, and she soon left charlie. getting over the break-up was one of the hardest things charlie has ever done. 

she’s working at the diner to save up for film school. she’s planning on applying but doesn’t know when (one day, charlie, one day) because she’s terrified of failure and secretly doesn’t think she’s good enough. it’s also been much harder to stay creative without her uni friends to collaborate with. 

she is bisexual btw but seems to have a preference for women from her dating history. her most recent relationship ended a couple months ago mutually for a combination of reasons. she’s not exactly looking to get into something serious again but isn’t against something happening organically. 

her hobbies include gardening, making youtube videos, watching a lot of movies and critiquing them, exploring brighton, and spending time with her family and friends.

she got into gardening from her grandmother on her dad’s side who she would spend vacations with in georgia. maintaining a garden every summer is a way for charlie to remember her. and she also finds the activity very soothing. 

fun facts (as if this wasn’t long enough)

she was born two months premature but has been relatively healthy ever since

she does have adhd (only discovered she did in uni) and asthma (mostly induced by exercise and allergies). she takes medication for both. 

due to an incident where she almost drowned in the ocean when she was younger, she stays away from the water and does not know how to swim. it’s definitely a deeply embedded phobia. she’s brave enough to walk along the pier and sit on the beach though. 

her favorite place in brighton is actually the pier, but you can find her pretty much anywhere. she likes to spend friday nights at neon or get lost between the shelves of page turners books or go on spontaneous road trips with her mum’s car. 

she’s kind of a klutz, and it definitely took her a while to get the hang of waitressing at blue moon. now she’s more of a pro but can be a bit clueless about certain things at times. would rather spend time goofing off with her co-workers. 

she’s skeptical about the local legends but doesn’t believe in dismissing anything without firm proof, so it’s more of a ‘wait and see’ mindset with her.

she’s had a family cat named Mr. Bingley for many years now, who is a bit of a grump, but she loves him. would really like a puppy some day. 

she doesn’t eat red meat

she has two tattoos but wants a third

when she was twelve to thirteen, she went through an emo phase. 

tl;dr -- in the words of my old intro post, charlie is an aspiring filmmaker, a gardening enthusiast, and a secretly sensitive ball of feelings who’s a loyal friend with a kind heart.

[athenalevel3performingarts]

Romeo and Juliet Research Project.

1. The social,cultural and historical context of the text and Playwright. English playwright William Shakespeare, 23rd April 1564-23rd April 1616, was born in Stratford-Upon-Avon in Warwickshire to parents John Shakespeare and Mary Arden. John's job involved dealing in wool and other farm products and as his wife Mary was the daughter of a wealthy land owner, the couple were fairly well off and were able to afford multiple houses. At the age of 18 Shakespeare married Anne Hathaway and had three children with her, Susanna Hall, Hamnet Shakespeare and Judith Quiney. During the time Shakespeare was writing Romeo and Juliet there was a large gap between the rich and the poor within the community, and homelessness, poverty and crimes such as theft were key issues at this time. Punishments for crimes within this era were often cruel including different forms of executions ranging from the most humane form of execution for the well respected members of the community to the more brutal executions for the less respected people. Torture was also used as a way to extract confessions off suspected criminals and these methods of torture were extremely brutal and effective. These punishments were passed by the current monarch in this era, Elizabeth I. Living conditions were very simple throughout this period with little means of warmth or light and homes often being made out of wood and mortar with thatched roofs. Health and hygine problems were rife due to the lack of clean sourced water and due to the fact people would often throw waste directly into the streets which would encourage masses of rodents such as rats which would spread further disease. For entertainment people would visit theatres to watch either variety shows or plays such as Shakespeare's works that were put on at the Globe Theatre in London after Shakespeare had moved there to pursue his theatrical ambitions. These performance venues were often crowded and loud due to the cramped room and the over filled audience areas which usually did not have seats. During this time the key world event that occured involving Britain was towards the end of the 1500s when the English were fighting the Spanish in the Atlantic. 2.  The Vocal requirements and physical demands to be considered when interpreting the text and developing character's for performance. Romeo and Juliet was very popular and still is today. Shakespeare designed Romeo and Juliet to be performed outside in daylight as an open air theatre performance but also visualised it as being performed at other venues such as the Globe Theatre in London and other larger venues. It would have been originally performed by local actors to where Shakespeare originated from so colloquial accents were heavy throughout his plays because this is how he saw his characters. He also saw his plays as being performed with a set rhythm and rhyme to highlight important and key sections and characters within the play, for example; the prologue to Romeo and Juliet is written in iambic pentameter to highlight the importance or this section of the play as it tells the audience Shakespeare's idea of the whole story through a brief overview of the play. Many of Romeo's and Juliet's monologues are also written in iambic pentameter to signify the importance of these two characters. The styles the actors would have used to perform this play would have been fairly naturalistic. During these performances the actors would have to use a variety of vocal skills such as projection, clarity and diction as without any form of microphones and performing in open air venues the actors would need to be able use all of these vocal skills combined together for the audience to be able to hear and understand them clearly. The actors would also need to use good physicality skills to also make it clear to the audience about their intentions and through using clear vocal and physical skills accurately in this way it helps the audience understand the show.   3.The demands and requirements that each classical text places on a modern actor. The clothing and costumes during this period were typical of those within the Tudor era and could be categorised into three groups; posh, clean and scruff. The posh dress code was reserved for the upper class well off aristocracy and would be fairly extravagant to send a message to other people about how rich they were. These costumes would include items such as shirts with laces, large collars and ruffled sleeves, three quarter length baggy trousers, white tights and buckle shoes. The well off women in the community would wear extravagant and large dresses that covered the length of their body as this was etiquette during this period to show little to no skin, headdresses were often worn by rich women in this period too as well as corsets. The people that were considered clean would wear clothes similar to those of the posh and rich people, however, these clothes would be far more simple but fairly well kept and looked after. The people who were extremely poor would wear scruffy and unclean clothes that would not be well kept and would often have rips in them or patches due to the fact the poor would not be able to afford new clothes and the clothes they had would have probably been obtained in an unlawful way. As the main characters in Romeo and Juliet are rich the costumes would be alike to those of the posh community, this would decrease the actors' ability to use their physicality to their full potential as both the male and female costumes would be quite tight fitting, the tight fitting clothes, especially for the women, may make vocal performances harder too as it would be difficult to project. The actors within the play that are less well off or would need to wear costumes suited to their role within the community such as Friar Lawrence would be able to perform more easily on stage as he would wear a loose costume like robes. As we are going to perform our version of the play outside, the conditions we will be working with could be temperamental for a number of reasons such as the weather would need to be accounted for as well as the fact it would be difficult to set up a sound system and microphones outdoors. This means we would have to use good vocal skills like projection and clarity for the audience to understand us, performing in a large open space also means we need to exaggerate our physicality. Performing outside would also reduce the lighting we could use for our performance apart from taking advantage of natural light. Throughout the play the main props that will be used are swords which would change the way the characters move. Using the swords correctly could be a challenge to make the way they are used effective but safe. 4. The Cast list: Romeo :  At first Romeo seems moody to begin with as he his rejected from love when at this time he feels that there is no one prettier than Rosaline and no other girl he wishes to be with. He appears lost and even his own friends  Mercuito and Benvolio start to notice that it isn’t within his usual self to be this way.  Before he was obbessed with Rosaline he was quite popular within Verona and even The Lord Capulet agrees with this statement. He his very lively and after going to a FeastlParty he meets Juliet and immediately he instant attracted to her and that when he seems to instantly forget about Rosaline and love becomes is main goal and becomes more Lively as soon as he begs he for a kiss.    

    Personally i think he at first isn’t immediately attracted, attracted as it is portrayed within the play. Romeo seems to me as though by this stage in the party he his a bit tipsy and he his lost in his sorrows from Rosaline and i feel as though only when he kisses her he starts to feel something towards her and i feel as though he goes for her because of her innocence. But you know Juliet is right for him as he feels himself around her. 

Juliet : Juliet is very vunerable and naive at the start of the play in the sense she is very young and seems to be obedient and she is innocent in the sense she has no life experience. Due to her young age and families wealth. Juliet lacks a lot of love and attention her mother and father should give her  and it grows her to hate her family in one respect as they never take into account her opinion or feelings. This is why I personally believe she clings to Romeo as Juliet gets the  love and he makes her feel like she matters that she is lacking off her parents. However she is strong minded in the sense she eventually disobeys her own parents and does what she wants despite their views. Which unfortunately leads to a tragedy they would possibly imagine she kills herself to be with Romeo forever.

Friar Lawrence: He is the priest within the play who joins together Romeo and Juliet in legal marriage, he is also the moderator within the play between Romeo and Juliet due to the fact both of their families are in a feud with each other and would forbid love between the couple. Friar would be a wise and possibly middle aged to slightly older man who would most likely dress in a Monk like cassock and his actions along the way have serious consequences as due no postal system no mobile phones as the letter never reaches Romeo in time about the arranged plan of Juliet faking her own death so they could run away together. But it doesn’t end this way

  Mercuito: He is Romeo’s best friend : funny, witty and it is to be that he is confused about his sexuality in the sense he likes to dress like a girl and often makes comments to Romeo.Mercuito isn’t not either a Montague or a Capulet he is very strong minded and will never back down from a fight/duel and gets more involved with the family feuds with The Capulet’s and The Montague’s and in the end this costs him his life as Tybalt kills him.

The Nurse: She is Juliet’s servant and is a Capulet she is very kind to both sides of the family and only wants the best for Juliet and is a good hearted woman as she tries to please both Juliet and her parents. She has a big influence on Juliet and the Nurse is more of a surrogate Mother to Juliet as after losing a baby of her own she still was able to breast feed and because Lady Capulet wasn’t too fond of that idea she employed the nurse and even though she can be stupid and insensitive at times everyone can see what a good person she is. She has a strong sense of Humour as in the end she grows to support the idea of her and Romeo as she wants her to have love.

Tybalt: Tybalt is Juliet’s cousin, He is a very aggressive character and his actions have serious consequences for both Romeo and Mercuito as he kills Mercuito and then Romeo kills Tybalt and this causes him to be banished out of Verona for good. He has a negative attitude towards people and if anyone is to upset him in the wrong way he will go to extreme lengths and often kill them and he really does like using his sword.

Lord Capulet : He likes to think of himself as the King of Verona and Is very possessive and his Juliet’s father and He is the highest Capulet within his household. At first Him and Juliet seem to have no issues with each other until Paris comes onto the scene and He plans an arrange marriage for Juliet to marry Paris as he see him as right for her as he thinks he has prospects and can look after and provide for her as he was a man of social status and didn’t want he to settle with someone who was poor otherwise he would resent her for it. He is really selfish In the sense he never takes any of his daughter’s opinions into consideration and decides her future without letting her have a say. He thinks of his daughter as being Disobedient as she refuses to Marry Paris as she isn’t in love with him and technically she was already married and therefore wasn’t allowed to re marry or even have a divorced in them days as the person you married you was stuck with for life as she had made a strong commitment of until death do you part.

Rosaline : Although Rosaline is mentioned within play mostly at the start she never appears on stage. This was who Romeo was completely in love and infatuated with at the very start. He was lost and beside himself when he knew she didn’t feel the same. Then Romeo seemed to get over her pretty quick and she was immediately out of the picture as soon he met Juliet and fell for her with an almost immediate effect.

Lady Capulet :  Young herself when she reckons she had Juliet around the age of 14. Married to Lord Capulet and Juliet is her daughter.Of which she doesn’t show much love towards her own daughter that’s why the nurse practically thinks of her as her own. She is strong willed but is also very weak in the sense she doesn’t support her daughter unless Lord Capulet does in the sense when Juliet doesn’t want to marry Paris.  

Lord Montague : Romeo’s father an enemy of the Capulet’s at the start of the play and his concerned about his and is upset when he finds out about Romeo’s death and when his wife dies he decides to make peace with The Capulet’s. 

Lady Montague  :Romeo’s mother and can’t cope with her son’s death so she dies from not coping with it. 

Paris :  A Kinsman to the prince and is the found suitor to Juliet. He is more preferred by the Capulet's and when he becomes a Capulet he is promised he can marry Juliet but he already acts like they are. 

Benvolio : He his a Nephew of the Montague’s . Romeo’s cousin and is a good friend to Romeo he makes a lot of effort to defuse violent situations in public places. Although Mercuito says he has a nasty temper. He spends most of time trying to Romeo mind off of Rosaline. 

Prince Escalus : He his Prince Of Verona he his a kinsman of Paris and Mercuito. He has the Political power in Verona and gets concerned about keeping and upholding the public peace. 

Friar John : A  Friar charged by Friar Lawrence with the news of Juliet’s false death to Romeo. Friar John is then held up in a quarantined house and that message about Juliet faking her death never reaches Romeo.

Balthasar : He his Romeo’s servant and he is the person to give romeo the news about Juliet’s death as he is unaware of this and doesn’t know about it. 

Sampson & Gregory  : They are two servants of the Capulet's house and like their Master they hate the Montague's At the start they provoke some of the Montague men in a fight. 

Abram : A Montague servant who fight Sampson and Gregory at the start of the play. 

The Apothecary  : In Mantua  he had been wealthier, he might have been able to afford to value his morals. But refused to sell poison to Romeo.

Peter : Is a Capulet servant who invites guests to Capulet’s feast and escorts the Nurse. He can’t read and write  or sing.

5. A synopsis of scenes Act 1 :

Within this play the community talk about the plot to the audience and explain what type of play this is.  The Montague's and The Capulets are arch enemies. Sampson and Gregory are seen to be trouble makers and look to pick a fight with Abraham and Balhasar who are servants from the Montague household. But then Tybalt who is Juliet's cousin comes in and picks on Benvolio. That's when the community in Verona come in and step in and attack both.  Then Romeo's parents are looking for Romeo who is troubled and lost within his thoughts. So they send Benvolio  to talk to him of which he trys to get  him to admit who love but he his very stubborn and won't because he believes in love and suffering.

Lord Capulet, Juliet's father has planned her an arranged marriage to Paris. Although Rosaline is never a character as such on scene Romeo is obsessed with her and loves her. But goes to a feast with a friend Benvolio who asked him to compare her to other beauties. However he still found Rosaline the most prettiest. Lady Capulet need to have serious conversation with her daughter Juliet about marrying Paris and she goes to the feast.

Whilst at the feast as Mask strangers are welcome into what would be known today as a party as everyone seems to be enjoying themselves Romeo and Juliet lock each eyes with each then shortly after he begs her for a kiss