#originally ted was here too but I did not like how his turned out so I'm just throwing these two up instead </3

[stra-tek]

Random spoilerific reasons to read Star Trek novels, with little to no context:

Ro/Quark is a thing

A Jem'Hadar joins DS9, tries to fit in but eventually snaps and tries to kill everybody

You learn the origins and final fate of the Borg

A thinly-veiled Dr. House clone joins the Voyager crew

Geordi briefly has 2 girlfriends at once (due to different writers not co-ordinating enough, but still)

There's a TOS book that's a musical

There are YA stories about Jake and Nog making mischief on DS9

YA stories about Worf, Geordi, Picard, Beverly, Kirk, Spock and McCoy at SFA

YA series about the Kelvinverse gang (including Gaila!) as cadets, taking on a drug problem at SFA and a very unique Borg scout in San Francisco

We very briefly meet the people who are to Q what the Q are to humanity

Janeway/Chakotay is a thing

Kirk's first mission in command of the Enterprise! Erm, at least twice.

Kirk was married between TOS and TMP

Her name was Lori

In the future, you have yearly marriage contracts that you either update or you don't and I think that's amazing

Trip didn't die! He faked his death to join Section 31 and go undercover as a Romulan

It's not great, tbh

The ENT books get better after the Romulan wars though, it's proper founding of the Federation stuff

We meet Jack Crusher (erm, the OG) when 4 timelines start overlapping and he's a bit unhinged

Teenage Kirk stole a car and his choice was go to jail or join Starfleet

What happened when Voyager got home? Seven broke up with Chakotay like 30 pages in

Kirk gets cloned, and his clone becomes the sub of an evil invincible super genius and its all very gay

George Kirk was Robert April's first officer on the first ever mission of the unnamed starship with the Naval Construction Contract 1701

Robert is a hard-core pacifist and has to turn command over to George whenever it's time to fire weapons

Data becomes fully human for a couple of days and it's really sweet

They never say "wristwatch" or "phone", it's always "wrist chrono" or "personal comm"

There are gays but they don't say that word because it's the 1990's and Rick Berman runs the franchise

Spock has a son in the past with Zarabeth

Everyone in the post-Nemesis era does spy missions all the time non stop, as if Starfleet has abandoned exploring the cosmos for doing Space Mission: Impossible

Bashir does it better than anyone else, he takes on Section 31 from the inside

Remember Control? It's from the novels, except the novels do it SO MUCH BETTER.

Remember how we never found out who Future Guy was? We do.

It's very underwhelming, nobody we know

We find out how the Romulans and Vulcans split

Surak was a Vulcan internet blogger

A Borg Cube eats Pluto

Janeway dies

Janeway gets better

At least one TOS book features a wizard

There's a Star Trek TOS/Here Come the Brides crossover novel

It had cameos from The Doctor (as in, Who), Han Solo, Starbuck and others

Whole book series about Section 31

Whole book series about the Department of Temporal Investigations

One time they do the Bill and Ted thing to escape confinement and it works

Wanna know how Riker and Troi met?

Wanna know what Picard got up to on the Stargazer?

Andorians have 4 sexes and it's very complicated

Data comes back from the dead as Data 2.0, and it was fresh and exciting because it happened long before ST: Picard did it twice.

Lal comes back too and we get father/daughter android stuff! They have a home and everything but keep having to save the universe

One time Mirror Seven is led around on a leash naked on Terok Nor

Geordi becomes captain of the USS Challenger, decides it's not for him because plot, and goes back to engineering on the Enterprise

Kirk is shot on the bridge and dies

Kirk gets better

They watch 3D holos of old Doctor Who episodes in the Enterprise rec room

The Enterprise also has an AI named Moira, which was Zora long before Zora

The TOS crew get together for one last mission. About three times.

There's a Perry Mason book except it's about Kirk's lawyer from that TOS episode

Data 2.0 owns and runs a massive gambling empire on Orion

Spock keeps randomly showing up everywhere in the TNG era

Scotty keeps randomly showing up everywhere in the TNG era

Bones keeps randomly showing up everywhere in the TNG era

You're on Tumblr so you already know about Killing Time

There's a guy named McKenzie Calhoun and he's a total badass and captains a ship of weirdos and misfits

Kirk comes back from the dead, saves the galaxy repeatedly, has an intersex child (who identifies as male) with a Romulan/Klingon hybrid

Kirk beats up Worf

Kirk's child has superpowers

Kirk's child saves the galaxy at age 6

The Kirk stuff is 100% ignored in the other novels

About 50% of the novels are ignored in the other 50%, and the ones that are meant to be in direct continuity with each other aren't always quite

Just like the TV shows and movies, then

Lwaxana Troi meets Q, and it goes as well as you'd expect

Someone tells Data, yes you idiot you had emotions all along and he's like, oh shit you're right

McCoy is left in command of the Enterprise as a joke by Kirk, who is then immediately kidnapped

Ro Laren is captain of Deep Space Nine

Picard/Beverly is a thing, they get married and have a child named Rene. No running away and raising your kid in secret here

Riker and Troi are married, serve on the Titan together with a bunch of adorable weirdos and have a daughter named Tasha

You get to watch all the 24th century characters die horribly in the end along with their entire universe. Holy fuck it's a bleak horror show. Personally, I love it. But if that's not your cup of tea I'd skip the Coda trilogy

[ash-asteroid]

Winx "Flower Princess" gowns redesign kinda.

I say kinda because I struggle with dresses. And it's more practice for me. Man, I can't believe I was a winx kid that draws and can't design dresses. Probably a by-product of my "I'm not like other girl phases." Anyway gonna ramble about the designs a little.

I did the flower princess ones first because they are my least favorite gowns of the series. I think it's mainly the flowers, so I tone them down, having them being more like accents. Also forgot to design earings for most of them smh.

Bloom I had a lot of trouble. These dresses were used while they were "politicing," so I originally wanted to make Bloom look like her dress was from Domino. But I didn't like how it turned out, probably because Marion was my only reference for a dress (unless there's some background fairy in a dress from Domino. I'm too lazy to check.) So I went back to the general princess vibe instead for all of them. But if I were to redesign them again, I'd love to mix their homeworld's fashion with the typical fairytale princess look.

I have nothing really to say for Flora or Stella. But I wanted to change Flora's hair because I thought it was too casual. Wish I did something other then a bun looking back.

Skipping to Tecna for a second. I did base her dress off those "furtistic" dresses, which is just minimalism, really. And had to change Tecna's purple because if you grey scale the purple and green in the original design, it's pretty much to the same. I do like the color I chose, especially for the contrast, but I feel like it's a little too dark and messes with the vibe a little. Also gave her pants under her dress. I was just about to go on a tangent, but I'll just add it to the end.

Finally, for Musa and Aisha. Idk I felt like their hair didn't fit the vibe. I love them, but they didn't really go with the regal look, and more look like prom hairstyles. For Musa's dress, I wanted the front to be open and have her wear shorts. It just felt like a hint of masculine in a pretty feminine design. Aisha's dress really made me realize I need to look at more dresses because I was struggling with ideas. The rnd result is fine, but man, I need to work on more on gowns.

Anyway, heres me rambling about masculine Tecna. It has no real clear thought or direction and only losely ties to the redesign but whatever.

Hi to nobody, probably. If you are here you should tell me 👉👈. Anyway, I see Tecna and Musa as the most masculine. Musa is the most outloud about it, while you might not even notice how masculine Tecna is. Up until season 6, really. Tecna, for the most part, wore shorts or pants. Dress was saved for the gowns. Her skirts were usually pretty short, and something about them had masculine vibes. I can't quite explain it, but there is pretty simple I can almost think a few are shorts. Personally, I headcanon that Tecna doesn't care for dresses at all. Maybe if she has to, but that's it (maybe I'm projecting, idk. Granted irl, I'm not comfortable with dresses or skirts at all. So partial projecting.)

Basically, I think Tecna should wear suits instead of gowns. And Musa should wear something in between for that non binary energy.) But imagine a gender confused Musa going to her roomie Tecna for advice because Tecna is way more comfortable with leaning a lot more masculine.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[benedictscanvas]

be still, my foolish heart [2] - jamie tartt x reader

pairing: jamie tartt x fem!reader

word count: 2.7k

series warnings: lots of language throughout, some allusions to smut but nothing explicit, a LOT of fucking fluff mostly ngl

a/n: the response on the first chapter of this was so overwhelming in the best way. i'm literally beside myself that people enjoyed it! my current plan is to update this every other day and try and get some little blurbs and one shots out in between. have a fabulous saturday night my loves <3

series summary: when jamie gets called up to the england team for the first time, he's terrified. enter you, all smiles and swearing, and suddenly his only fear is falling head over boots for you.

previous chapter | series masterlist | next chapter

---

chapter two - i swear i thought i'd dreamed her

“Is that all you’ve got, Tartt?”

“Oh you’re so fuckin’ on, Rife.”

It’s day four of training camp. Jamie is over the moon to find that the England lads are largely similar to his Richmond lot and while he’s not half in love with them like he is back home, they’re a good bunch of lads. They get on. They can rib each other endlessly and then enjoy a good meal. He feels far more at home than he could have imagined.

He hadn’t expected Ted to get quite so jealous when he was telling him all this on FaceTime the night before.

“It’s nothin’ like being at home, though, Ted. ‘Course fuckin’ not. Haven’t got a grandad screaming at me all the time, ‘ave I?”

That was enough to placate Ted, allowed him to get on with telling Jamie how everyone was getting on at Richmond. Apparently, Ted had originally called him to get some advice on hair care products, but Jamie didn’t buy that for a second. He knew Ted could tell how nervous he was before he left. He was so grateful to have a gaffer - and a friend - willing to make up a shit excuse to check up on him.

He was holding his own in the training sessions too. He knew he wasn’t first choice up front, and however much it might have irked him previously, now he was able to enjoy the prestige that came with being here. The feeling he got when he shrugged on his England kit every morning just like he’d dreamt about when he was only a sexy little baby.

He loved penalty practice with Rife, tackling Marko in a 5v5 and knowing he’d be tackled back any second. He knew they were training for what would turn out to be some of the most important matches of his career, but it didn’t feel like it. It felt like making a few new friends and dragging them down to the nearby pitch everyday to have a kick about. It felt nice.

Still hadn’t managed to talk to the City lads, though.

It was beginning to affect his play, too. When one of them would shout out an instruction to him, he’d do it without hesitation, wanting to make nice. But he knew that his own instincts got him his place on this team and blindly listening to others wasn’t going to get him any minutes.

Which was why he was stood behind a plant, outside the hotel bar, trying to figure out his move to just go over and talk to the fuckers.

They were nice lads. He knew that. They used to be friends, yeah, but he was a prick back then, so maybe they only liked prick Jamie and weren’t that nice at all. Or they hated prick Jamie and wanted nothing to do with him ever again. Or they thought he was a total joke who didn’t deserve to be there. Or-

“What did the plant do to you?” came a voice from behind him, which made him realise he was gripping the stem with a vengeance, “You need me to kick it over? I’ll do it, but you’ll need to be lookout.”

That playful teasing, that voice, was familiar. When he turned and found you, kind head of PR you that he hadn’t seen properly since your first meeting, he couldn’t decide if he was a lucky bastard or had the worst misfortune in the whole world. He groaned either way as he let go of the poor plant.

“I’ll water it later to say sorry, I guess,” he said, patting a leaf in a way that felt pretty pathetic, “You’re stayin’ ‘ere too? I haven’t seen ya.”

That wasn’t totally true. He’d seen you about once a day since that first day, but only around the camp itself rather than the hotel. The two of you had shared curt nods each time, a reminder of your first meeting, but each time these nods had been followed by easy smiles to each other.

Each time you’d been sharply dressed. A pencil skirt here, a trouser suit there. It reminded him a little of Rebecca, except for the little touches that he’d noticed you let slip through the professional facade. A beaded anklet, a pair of fluffy earrings. You were a ray of sunshine around the place, that much he had picked up on. The regulars at the camp greeted you as a similar breath of fresh air.

“Perk of being head of a department,” you smile, “How’s training treating you? Issues with the grass that you’re taking out on all plants in sight?”

There was a very loud sigh waiting in his throat. He could make up a lie about waiting for someone, or checking out the plants because he wanted to get himself one back home, but you’d see through any bullshit he offered up. And he didn’t really want to bullshit you anyway.

“More embarrassin’ than that, I think,” he admits, watching as your face falls from that teasing smile to something with more worry in it. It’s very hard to keep eye contact with you when you’re looking at him all concerned like that, “I’m gonna give y’ the option to walk away now, if ya want, so y�� don’t have to be part of it, like.”

He watches you make a face as if there’s an obvious answer to what he’s just said. Without thinking, he takes a quick glance back at the City players huddled around the bar to check they haven’t clocked him. Of course, you notice.

“I hope you know how mysterious and intriguing you just made this situation,” you say as you come to stand beside him, more behind the plant than you were, “Something to do with the lads in there?”

That big, loud sigh he’s been holding in manages to break free.

“Yeah, it is. Yeah,” he doesn’t even know how to say it without sounding like a sad sack of shit. You smell really good and it’s the first time he’s seen you in anything other than work clothes and you look incredible in cargos. His thought process is scrambled, “They’re all City, yeah? Sooo…we were teammates an’ then we weren’t. Now I’m…fuck, I don’t even fuckin’ know what I’m doin’.”

Part of him hates swearing like that in front of you until he remembers your penchant for swearing. He hadn’t looked at you when he was talking, but when he risks a look back at your face, there’s no more of that worry that had been there briefly. There’s understanding instead, and he likes it a lot more. 

“You want to talk but don’t know how? Think they hate your guts?”

“Well, it’d be hard to hate these guts,” he says, words cocky but he doesn’t get the tone right and he’s quick to self-deprecate instead, “But yeah, that sums it up. Pretty fuckin’ pathetic, huh?”

“No. Not fucking pathetic at all, Just Jamie. Don’t call yourself that.”

You’re looking at him expectantly so he nods, a little confused by your ferocity.

“Good. Not pathetic,” you say again, for him or for you, he isn’t sure, “So, let’s get us a game plan. How about we go in there, order a drink maybe, definitely some chips, and I’ll wave them over after ten minutes. I’ll make up some PR bullshit, get the conversation going.”

He hesitates. Suddenly, he realises his previous plan was to stare at them all night through the leaves of this plant before running back to his room when they looked like they were about to get up.

“I dunno…maybe I should leave it? Like, I’m making a big deal out of nothin’, really.”

“I think they’d appreciate you making an effort,” you insist, “I can confirm that they don’t hate your guts, if it helps. They’re decent lads. Warne is a dickhead, but he’s harmless. I’m sure you know all this, really.”

“You might be underestimatin’ what a dickhead I was, Just Y/N,” he laments, although the use of what he could now call a nickname between the two of you makes him feel better, “I was fuckin’ awful.”

“No, I know,” she says instead, and he wasn’t expecting that. His head snaps to gape at her so quick she actually laughs at him, “I watched Lust Conquers All. It’s trash but it makes you feel better about yourself, you know? And yeah, you did seem like a dickhead, but you don’t seem like one now. Anyone with half a brain would notice, so I’m sure even Warne will realise you’re not coming at them from the same place you were at.”

It’s a lot to process. Firstly, that yet another person has watched that godforsaken fucking show and it’s you and he feels like a total idiot in front of you now. But then he registers the rest of it, that in such a short time you’ve just proclaimed that he’d obviously not like that anymore. That he’s changed. He knows he has, but he doesn’t always expect other people to notice straightaway.

“How the fuck did you watch that show and still manage to be so nice to me when we met?” he asks, because he can’t help himself. He wants to know the answer. Wants to know if you’re just like that with everyone, because that would probably be easier.

“Hey,” you lower your voice, “Richmond fan, remember? I’ve been to the games. Even a couple of the open training sessions. Everyone at Richmond knows you’re a different person now, right?”

He gulps. Nods.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah. So…I do too,” you’re practically whispering now. Talking to you is like having a piece of Richmond with him, maybe even more so than the playlist. You’re Richmond and you know the new Jamie. It means more than he should tell you to feel like he has someone on his side, “Also I’m pretty good friends with this guy at the club. Do you know Trent Crimm?”

“You know Trent?” he exclaims, louder than he should. You hush him, but you’re smiling as you do it. He repeats his question a lot quieter, “Sorry. You know Trent Crimm?”

“Yeah, he used to do some reporting on England, for a while. We ended up chatting quite a lot. There’s not many male football journalists out there worth making friends with, but Trent’s one of the good ones. He texted me to look after you, actually, so you must be pretty great.”

Now Jamie was really torn. On the one hand, Trent texting you to take care of him was really fucking nice for a man he hadn’t even spoken to all that much. On the other hand, there was now a sinking feeling in his chest that all this kindness was a favour to Trent and had nothing to do with him at all.

“Oh. That’s- uh, that’s nice to hear.”

“Oh fuck, that’s not why I want to help you!” you said quickly, like you’d read his mind, “I just saw you with the plant, wanted to check you were okay. I’m not just, like, fulfilling a promise to him or anything.”

That sinking feeling lifted. Especially because he liked that you wanted to make sure he knew that. He could feel little pieces of his confidence floating back into his body. They were on thin ice, however, when you tugged on his arm to follow you as you walked straight into the bar, heading directly for the City players as you did so. He had no choice but to follow you.

His first thought was that you really did look criminally good in cargos, and his second thought was that this wasn’t in the fucking plan.

“Boys! My City Folk,” you greet them, definitely going for awkward on purpose. The three players smiled and waved as you came to stop beside them at the bar, Jamie following behind attempting to look as cool as possible, “I do hope you’re not breaking any rules? I am a known grass, and I will tell Gareth.”

They laugh and Jamie joins in because then maybe he’ll be part of things. Also, you’re funny, and he can tell you know it.

“Don’t worry, Y/N, just water for us tonight. We thought if we came down here, it might at least feel like we were drinking.”

“And I thought there might be some girls to chat with,” Warne added, as expected by pretty much everyone who knew him, “None around until you showed up, Y/N.”

“You’re a fucking idiot, Warne,” you reprimand, though there’s enough teasing in it that he just grins, “Didn’t the others remind you this hotel is entirely booked out for England players and staff?”

“Yeah. But you never know who you haven’t met yet.”

Jamie snorts at that and it draws more attention to him than he’d like. But it’s an opening, and your eyes are wide telling him to go for it! So he does.

“Strangely profound for you, Warne,” he supplies, grateful when you chuckle and the other two City boys join in, “Hey, how about the next round of water is on me?”

That really draws a laugh out of them, even Warne.

“You were always a generous son of a bitch, Tartt,” Rocky smiles, clapping him on the back. Again he sees an opening and with you still looking at him all encouragingly, he wants to take it.

“Nah, I wasn’t. I was a prick when we last talked. But I’ve been told I’m slightly better now, sometimes,” he glances at you when he says it, but you look so fond he has to look away, “Anyways, what I’m tryin’ to say: I’m sorry for before. Hope we can start fresh, like.”

“Mate,” Rocky shakes his head, brushing him off, “We’re all good. Long as you don’t keep drifting offside when I’m trying to thread one to you, I think we’ll manage.”

“Yeah, and don’t beat me in the fitness trials, alright? That’s my time to shine,” Warne adds, and even he’s got a friendly look in his eye, an attempt to respond to Jamie’s obvious and unexpected vulnerability. The weight that Jamie feels lift off his chest is massive. He can breathe properly again.

“No promises, mate. I’m fuckin’ fast now. Lightning, me.”

And with that, it’s easy to fall back into the banter he was used to. When Warne has launched into a story about not being able to find a toilet in Ibiza, he turns to you to say a silent thank you, but you’ve vanished from his side. He tries not to let his disappointment show on his face.

Searching around for a second, as subtly as he can, he spots a flash of your cargos behind the plant he’d been so well acquainted with. You pop your head out when you see that he’s looking and shoot him a double thumbs up and it’s all he can do not to excuse himself from the conversation and run over to you.

But you’re already giving a little wave and walking the other way. He watches you until you’re gone. Lets his eyes linger even a little longer than that.

When he turns back to tune into Warne again, hoping none of them noticed his wandering eye, he’s so incredibly grateful that you helped him face his fear. That he’s got his wish, and can get back to the game he loves without anymore unfinished business hanging over him.

Alongside that gratefulness, is the tugging at his heart that thinks his position behind that plant wasn’t so bad, once he gained some company. 

But he wouldn’t have flirted with you. He isn’t going to. Bad idea. Just talking, in a totally friendly way, would have been a pretty fucking nice evening, he thinks.

---

next chapter

if you've got this far, i fucking love you!! <3 and if you're at all into real life football like i am (enough to be pursuing a job in the field ffs) then see if you can work out who any of the England players might be based on hahaha

[clay-cuttlefish]

Finally we've arrived at 52, the series that turned me from a casual reader of a few comics into a full-on DC fan and Question enthusiast. This is the reason I set out on this project in the first place. I love it so much.

#1

This is my fifth time reading this in full, I think, and I still get hyped at this opening issue. Look at my guys.

It's a miracle this came together as well as it did. The omnibus is great for giving some insight into that construction process.

#2

There's just so much in 52 and I can't believe they pulled it off. Part of that is that it's thematically coherent, despite how different the plots are. Grief, reinvention, self-destruction as a means to cope with loss... it all feeds into itself.

In a slightly different timeline I came out of 52 fixated on Booster Gold and stumbled back into the Question later through Blue Beetle, instead of the other way around.

It took 416 issues but they're interacting! They're together! It's paying off!

Renee's heartbreaking spiral into self-destruction is interrupted by this massive dork. I love them.

#3

I really need to read Steel. Captivated by these two.

Skeets nudging the gyro cart owner out of the way is a very good panel. Catlike behavior.

#4

Booster and Bea's conversation is so. Hhh.

In the omnibus, Mark Waid calls Vic and Renee's scene "one of the high points of the entire series", and I'm with him.

#5

Renee and Maggie...

The metahuman hospital's a really cool piece of worldbuilding.

The only plotline I don't care much about is the spaceguys. I still like them, but the bar's really high here and I want to see other characters more.

Wish this was less creepy about Starfire.

#6

Kind of obsessed with Bob the theatre teacher and villain-for-hire, conceptually.

It takes a while for the Black Adam plot to pick up steam so this part isn't quite hitting yet.

Booster having a normal one.

#7

Renee hasn't talked to her mom in three years by this point. Oof.

The exes of all time!

Booster... Ralph blaming him for Ted's death is brutal.

#8

Oh cmon girl you're smarter than this. It's Lex Luthor, when has he ever had anyone's best interests at heart.

At least Ollie's still doing his thing.

Clark hating Booster is so good.

#9

"Smart-ass." "Consistency is everything." He is so annoying!

The John and Natasha fight is great.

#10

Clark taking a page from Lois' book is so good. Ridiculous.

I like Will and Professor Morrow a lot, nice that they're back in focus.

Supernova time :)

#11

His anti-smoking rant...

"I don't owe you anything." Oof ouch my soul.

Big talk here from a guy who spent a decade hung up on Myra.

The one superheroine ass shot I respect is in the "that's a Batwoman" panel because Renee deserves to appreciate Kate's ass.

#12

Besties moment.

Black Adam's plotline is gaining speed.

Oh Ralph.

#13

Oh NO, Ralph.

#14

They both look so good here. Love his stubble.

Desperately want to hear Tot's side of their conversation, and also their previous phone calls, because I'm sure he'd have Opinions about Vic deciding to become a mentor.

Shaking him. You are so annoying!

"There's no such thing as crazy, just behaviour that society has deemed unacceptable." SO true bestie.

#15

BOOSTER...

#16

Oh god, Renee.

Billy officiating Black Adam's wedding is very sweet.

#17

Luthor's superteam is one of the series highlights.

Still very funny that there's just a guy named Hannibal on it. Zero subtlety here.

Oh Lobo. I do not care about you.

#18

He's so silly.

Renee is having truly awful time falling back into old coping measures and he's out here getting scooped and being made fun of for cockblocking.

Booster's shitty funeral still fucks me up. Choosing to believe Skeets intentionally didn't invite people for evil reasons because the idea nobody showed up is too much.

Once again, oh no Ralph.

#18/2

A backup with Vic's origins. It's about right, though I prefer him starting as the Question before moving back to Hub City.

It lists his "essential storylines" as Mysterious Suspense, The Question 1987, and Cry for Blood, which I mostly agree with. Mysterious Suspense is less important but reading a pre-DC story is useful background for the 87 run and it's his only solo option.

[tigereyesf]

Sneak Peek of "REPENT"...

Hi folks 😊 Thought you might like a little taste of my latest novel, "Repent". originally a Thranduil fanfic, I loved writing this book, uncovering many different layers to both him and my female character, Alisha. Enjoy!

(Link to the book in the comments x )

*********

The quilt did a good job of shielding the figure underneath, with hardly even a slight rise to indicate that someone was actually occupying the space. The room held a comfortable level of warmth without being too cool or overly hot. Heavy curtains over the massive windows kept the dazzling sunlight at bay.

His gaze moved towards the pillows, focusing on the head that turned towards him.

“I didn’t think that you would come here,” the coarse voice said.

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” he replied.

One eyebrow lifted briefly. “And to think I thought that you didn’t care.”

“I don’t,” he said. “I only came to make sure you actually die.”

The woman gasped, unable to keep the horror from her face.

Ted lifted a feeble hand and waved dismissively. “Don’t worry Alisha; I’d be more concerned about his health than mine if he’d said anything different,” he rasped. “We go back a long way.”

“That’s no excuse!” she cried, appalled. “I don’t know who you-“

“This has nothing to do with you,” the blond stranger interrupted sharply. “I have no interest in what you or your relationship with him is. I don’t care about you, or your feelings, or what you think. Do not judge me. You don’t have that right.”

Her head shook as anger flowed through her. “How dare you come into the home of a dying man, and say such awful things?!”

He took a step towards her, a smirk on his face and a cold cruelness in his blue eyes. “I have waited for years for this day,” he hissed. “And nothing shall keep me from relishing every single moment of it. Not even a desperate gold-digger.”

Her eyes widened in shock.

“Alisha, go and make our guest a cup of coffee,” Ted spoke up, his breathing laboured. “And pay no attention to his anger or his ranting.”

She glared up at the ridiculously tall blond who loomed over her, refusing to be intimidated by his height. He smiled a cold smile down at her.

“Yes, run along and be a good girl,” he said mockingly.

“Get your own damned coffee,” she retorted.

“Alisha.”

The single word stopped her in her tracks as she opened her mouth to spew obscenities to the unwelcome guest, and she lowered her head instead.

“Coffee, please,” Ted repeated.

She hesitated, reluctant to leave the room.

“I’ll be fine,” he wheezed. “Don’t worry. He hasn’t come to finish me off. He wouldn’t want to get his hands dirty.”

She threw a hateful glance towards the intrusive visitor, who returned it with just as much venom, but stayed silent.

“Do you need anything, Ted?” she asked, her tone softer as she touched his cheek gently.

Lee shook his head in disgust, but kept his thoughts to himself.

The old man shook his head to say no, and she stepped past the intruder to leave the room. Both occupants waited until the door had closed before eyeing each other.

“I’m surprised that you came,” Ted said. “Who told you?”

“Your attorney,” Lee replied. “Apparently you’ve made me the sole benefactor of your estate.”

“Yes,” he rasped. “There is no-one else to leave it to.”

The blond stepped closer to the bed, leaning down so that his hair swept over the quilt. “You know I’m going to burn this house to the ground,” he whispered, his mouth close to his ear. “And everything in it.”

Faded eyes met his in a flash of anger. “That’s your choice, you despicable bastard,” he grunted. “Just remember there’s someone else who lives here.”

“Then maybe you should leave it to your little slut,” he spat. “Don’t expect miracles from me, old man. I intend to take every pleasure out of watching you struggle for your last breath. I hope you burn in the depths of hell.”

“I thought that maybe time would have mellowed you,” Ted said, leaning his head back onto the pillow. “It appears it’s only made you worse.”

“Did you seriously expect anything else?” Lee asked rhetorically. “Honestly? Because if you did, you’re in for a sore landing when you eventually crash into reality as you leave this world. You disgust me.”

“And yet you still made a two hour drive to be here,” he murmured as his eyes closed.

“Yes. I won’t rest until I know your soul has finally left to begin its journey into hell,” he replied. He stood back to his full height, staring down at the pitiful and frail figure with hatred in his eyes.

That same hatred stopped Alisha in her tracks as she came back into the room, coming to a halt halfway over the threshold. Her wide eyes darted to Ted in alarm.

Lee smirked. “I haven’t killed him,” he drawled. “Although the thought has crossed my mind.” Cold eyes bored into hers as she looked up at him. “But it would be too quick. I want him to suffer. I want him to fight for every last god-forsaken breath. I want him to know that all he faces is complete silence and darkness until time runs out. Ending his miserable existence quickly would deny him that.”

She took a step back, shaking her head in disbelief. “You have no soul,” she whispered. “No heart.”

One shoulder lifted in a half-hearted shrug. “Like I care what you think.”

“Everything’s set up in the kitchen downstairs if you want to make yourself a coffee,” she said, a hard streak infusing into her voice. “I’m not here to be your slave; you can make it yourself.” She walked past him to the bed.

“I think I’ll decline the hospitality,” he replied casually. “I wouldn’t put it past the old bastard to have you poison the coffee. I can live without it.”

Her head snapped up as she glared at him, her jaw clenched tightly in anger. But she held her tongue, and turned her attention back to Ted.

Lee dragged a chair away from the wall and threw himself down into it, crossing one long leg over the other.

Alisha ignored him.

*********

[kjs-s]

A new holiday tradition

Moon Knight/Werewolf by night crossover

Summary When everyone celebrates different holidays you make new traditions together

Word count 1290

Warning mention of people wanting to harm Jack

Characters in this Marc Spector Steven Grant Layla El-Faouly Jack Russell Ted Sallis (man-thing)

A/N I wrote this as a gift for @redgillan and i liked it so I post it here too. Also thanks to @girl-next-door-writes for a lot of great information because I originally wrote this as a Christmas one

Living in a household with people that have three different religions sounds like it could be a mess but the four of you always managed to compromise. Steven and Marc celebrated Chanukah and have a menorah on display. You and Layla celebrate Christmas so you have a tree with ornaments for each one of the four of you. Layla also has her Coptic ones on the tree. Since the first day of Chanukah and Coptic Christmas are days apart you all decided to exchange gifts in the middle between those dates. This year your gift exchange would happen on December 28.

''We need to have a schedule on which item needs the most time to be made. This way we can make all seven things on time.'' You put on an apron and spread the recipes on the kitchen counter. Steven looked around wondering when you started a catering business and didn't inform the others.

''Just tell me what you want me to help you with. But if I may ask don't you think it's a little much for four people?''He picked one of the recipes that read mushroom and chestnut tart on it and checked the list of ingredients.

''What do you mean four people? We will be six at the picnic. Did you forget about Jack's invitation or did Marc not tell you about it?'' He tried but failed to remember anything so you had to narrate the whole story again while preparing the food for the picnic with your new friends.

On July 13 you and Layla had a girls' night out to watch a movie at an open-air cinema. After enjoying yourselves Marc called you about needing help with an issue half an hour after midnight.

'' What is going on? What do you need help with?'' You asked him when you showed up at the square he had asked you to meet him.

''I was on my way to meet you two so I would ask whether you wanted a midnight stroll around town when I heard people yelling. Most of them mentioned a monster and some of them had a few interesting ideas about how to kill it.''

''Are they serious? Even if there is a monster on the loose the best option is to stun it.'' Layla was trying to come up with solutions to not kill whatever they would encounter.

''What kind of monster did they mention? A werewolf? Considering there is a full moon that happens to be the biggest one of the year.'' You turned to Marc for confirmation of your assumption.

''That's what the people said. And we have to protect them. Think you can come up with a plan? A couple of the people shot at the werewolf and it ran off toward the west.''

You traced the werewolf at an abandoned factory and you three came up with a plan to stop it. You would try to distract it while the others would try to subdue it. And maybe try and check if it can transform back into a human. After a while, you managed to control it and he turned back into a man with markings on his face. He was exhausted and you approached him to check on him despite Marc's pleas about him probably still being dangerous.

''Are you ok?'' You tried to examine if he was hurt in any way.

''Where am I?'' And who are you?'' He seemed disoriented.

''I'm (Y/N). Me and my friends tracked you here when you were a werewolf and <<helped>> you turn back. Here they are. This is Marc and this is Layla. What about you?''

''I'm Jack. Thank you for helping me. Did I hurt anyone?'' He was still disoriented and now looking quite sad.

''Nobody was hurt, Jack. But you need to leave because the town's residents were looking everywhere for any sort of weapon to use against you.''

''I should call Ted to come and get me but he might become their next target. Could any of you help me get back to the forest?''

''You live in the forest?'' You began worrying about the man in front of you.

''Yes with Ted, my friend. He is big, green, and very friendly.'' The description piqued your interest and all of you helped Jack back into the forest.

''And that's how we met Jack and Ted. And after that, we check on them every full moon. They invited us to celebrate Christmas with them. But because of our unique traditions, we suggested having a picnic with them today. Did you forget about the gift exchange? Your recipient was Layla.''

''Right, I got her a scarf. I just forgot about the picnic part. Let's start cooking.''

You made almost everything and then you noticed Steven nodding off and closing his eyes. When he tried to peel a mushroom instead of an apple you decided he needed to rest.

''That's it. Break time for you. Let Marc front so you can rest for a little while. We will take it from here and Layla will be home soon with the challah bread and the vegan fruit cake. So she will help and we will be fine.''

Marc helped you make sufganiyot, a pomegranate and apple salad, a mushroom and chestnut tart, koshari, a vegan stew, and potato latkes. All vegan since Steve is vegan and Layla was still fasting.

''All we have left to bake are the vegan kahk. (Y/N) you can take a break. Marc and I will make those.'' Layla helped you to bed.

''Thank you. I will just take a nap and come by to check on you in an hour.''

When you returned the kitchen looked like a flour bomb had exploded in it.

''What happened here?''

''We had a breakdown. Just like the guy on the show you watched yesterday. Bake off right?''

''Well, that guy had a breakdown because he was jet-lagged from being awake for nearly forty hours. What's your excuse?''

''We read something wrong in the recipe?'' You laughed at Layla's answer and helped them finish baking. When everything was done you all grabbed the gifts for the exchange and left to meet Jack and Ted.

You put two enormous blankets on the ground and separated the food.

''The blanket with the angels on it has all the vegan foods on it. Challah bread, a salad, latkes, a tart, sufganiyot which are jelly donuts, fruit cake, koshari that has rice and pasta, kahk biscuits, and a stew. The blanket with the bells on it has pigs in a blanket, pavo that has turkey in it, and romeritos that has shrimp. And of course, there is sushi for Ted just like I promised him.''

''Everything seems delicious. Thank you for letting us be a part of your special tradition.'' Jack gave you a brief hug and threw a piece of wood into the bonfire they had made.

You suggest starting with the gift exchange and then roasting marshmallows that Jack mentioned being vegan and drinking some juice.

Marc gave Jack a compass so he would never get lost again. Jack gave Steven a board game. Steven gave Layla a scarf and she gave you a beautiful jewelry box. Ted gave Marc a handmade menorah for the house that you would put on Gus' tank. And you gave Ted fishing gear to catch his own fish.

Afterward, you gathered by the bonfire to roast marshmallows while music was playing from a wireless speaker. Steven taught everyone how to play dreidel and you played even more games and danced until your feet were sore. That new tradition would easily become your favorite day of the year no matter when it landed on.

[jomiddlemarch]

You turned my whole world upside down

“How’s there a coffee-shop in Jackson? This place is a goddamn commune,” Joel said.

“How did you just realize there was a coffee-shop in Jackson?” Grace asked. “Haven’t you lived here for like three months?”

“Why do you all call it a coffee-shop when there’s no coffee?” Ellie interrupted. She was kicking a soccer ball around in the dining room whose uselessness had persisted from the pre into the post cordyceps era. “There’s barely even regular tea, according to Ted, which he says isn’t a bad thing per se, Brian May.”

“You’re practicing drills in the kitchen?” Joel asked. Ellie looked like she might remind him how he’d taught her to shoot a gun and then clearly thought better of it, stopping the ball with a neat twist of her ankle. Neither Joel nor Grace was going to comment on the direct quoting of Ted Lasso, as they’d agreed as teenage phases went, it was mild and somehow charming, whereas Ted himself could occasionally be a bit tiresome, except that he was so fucking kind, you couldn’t hold his weird linguistic quirks against him. Not much anyway.

“Sorry.” The utter lack of a smirk was unusual but less rare than it had been when they’d first arrived in Jackson. Or rather, when they’d arrived back after their failed rendezvous with the Fireflies, when Ellie’s face had seemed stuck on smirk in a way that Grace knew meant she was afraid to let herself wear any other expression, at least in public. They’d settled down and then in and now down together, to the point that Ellie was no longer sleeping fully dressed, Joel wasn’t sleeping with his gun within arm’s reach and Grace wasn’t perpetually counting to ten and then another ten and had occasionally started wearing a bra again, a nice one with lace.

“Maria said people needed a place to get together that wasn’t the mess hall,” Grace said. “A place to sit around for a little while or longer, with a mug of something hot in the winter, cool in the summer. Where you could chat or stare out the window or into the steam from your cup of whatever. Though people do miss the actual coffee. Calling it a café seemed too affected for Jackson though and people started bringing in stuff to barter or tip the servers.”

“There were lots of coffee-shops Before?” Ellie said.

“Yeah,” Joel answered. “Shitty ones with shitty coffee and fancy-pants ones with shitty coffee.”

“And a few that had good coffee, but it cost the world,” Grace said. She would privately treasure the shape Joel’s lips had made uttering the phrase fancy-pants. “People could get very intense about the origin of the beans. Whether they were fair trade, organic. There was a lot of oat milk.”

“The origin of the beans? Like dinosaurs and evolution?” Ellie laughed. “What’s oatmilk? You can milk an oat? I swear, Before was crazy.”

“The baristas used to make designs in the foam,” Grace said. “You could ask for a flower or a heart. That was just for lattes though.”

“You never drank a fucking latte, Grace,” Joel said. Grace pictured the expression on her mother’s face if she had ever revealed spending money, no, wasting money that way. She remembered Lauren wiping the rime of foam from her upper lip, fluttering her eyelashes at Grace to try to get her to flirt with the hazel-eyed ortho resident who’d clearly been a swimmer during undergrad, who wore skin-tight thermal tops below his scrubs that left just enough to the imagination and regretted, very briefly, that she’d never caved to her friend’s exhortations or even concocted a bogus reason to order a consult when he might be the one paged.

“No. I bought whatever was cheapest at the market or on sale and made a huge thermos of it to bring into the hospital,” Grace said. Joel smiled in clear approval and Grace felt she shouldn’t be on the verge of blushing, not considering what it had taken to get her to Jackson and how she thoroughly debauched he’d looked two hours after Ellie went off to school and Grace had decided to start clinic late.

“You talk like anyone can understand you but half the words are like, extinct,” Ellie said.

“Tommy asked me if I wanted to play a set at the coffee-shop,” Joel said. It seemed like he was possibly answering Grace’s question about not knowing about Eight O’Clock and telling her why he’d brought it up in the first place. It seemed like he was asking her what she thought of him playing his guitar in public, in trying out another self, someone a world apart from the pragmatic killer the crucible of cordyceps and Fedra had created from him. Or making it was a step further, that he wanted her encouragement, her permission, to reveal himself, to make himself vulnerable to someone besides her, besides Ellie.

“You going to open with Johnny Cash or Santana?” Grace said. She’d caught him playing Villa-Lobos one night, the music exquisite, his head bent over the instrument and his hands moving as deftly as a neurosurgeon’s, but that was too unexpected, too private to share. He’d looked dazed when he’d lifted his head and there was no distance left between them, the moment closer even than a shared climax.

“I vote Clapton,” Ellie said.

“There’s no voting,” Joel said.

“There’s no coffee either, but I don’t see that getting in the way, grumpy,” Ellie retorted. “There’s that rosehip crap, whaddyacallit, not tea—”

“A tisane,” Grace said, enjoying knowing the right answer. Enjoying the word on her tongue and the look in Joel’s eyes as she said it.

“Yeah, right, there’s that stuff and all that other herbal blend stuff. The only good drink is the apple cider and there’s none left now,” Ellie said.

“I’ll play Clapton, but no show tunes,” Joel said. “You can pass that along to Ted and Beard. No musicals and no singalong shit.”

[dumb-hat]

Tagged!

@thefreelanceangel smacked me with this thing, and I happen to be sitting here, looking at it, right at the moment when I'm both restless and bored and can't think of anything to read or do, so... yeah, okay, why not? Been a bit since I've done one of these things.

1. Are you named after anyone?

 Kinda.

So, the original plan was to name me after my father, but it turns out there was another guy in town with his name, and Dad, like... he hated that guy, and the thought that people might meet little baby me and think that I was that guy's kid just grated on him, so they named me after his best friend, but gave me Dad's middle name.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I don't remember the last time I did a whole-ass, full-on cry, but I probably furrowed my brow and tried to stoically choke down a swell of tearful emotion while watching fucking Ted Lasso yesterday.

Same thing with Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 3 the other day.

It used to be that like, I'd get fairly emotional about real life stuff, but not so much with media. Sure, it would have an effect on me, but that effect just didn't, like... go anywhere, if that makes sense. These days though, if I'm being honest? I will almost cry at the drop of a hat.

3. Do you have kids?

Nah. The cats are enough.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I think I use, like, a normal amount of sarcasm, whatever that is.

I really appreciate sarcasm, especially well-crafted sarcasm. It doesn't take much to just, I dunno, meanly say the opposite of how you actually feel about something, but good sarcasm can be an absolute delight.

When I was younger, I did an awful lot of the former, all the while confusing it for the latter. I won't say I always get it right now, but I try to do it less as a knee-jerk reaction, especially around people who might not know me as well... But I can't help it, and sometimes I show my ass.

If anything, I'm more likely to lapse into bathos than sarcasm.

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

Tee ball and coach pitch when I was a little, tiny kid. I was really bad at it, but Dad wanted me to do it, and it meant I got to hang out with him, even if I was terrified the entire time I was out there.

That's it, unless you want to count a few summers during/right after high school where my friends and I got really into Ultimate frisbee and started a league with teams and shirts and everything.

I, uh... I for one would rather not count that, if that's alright.

6. What is the first thing you notice about other people?

Honestly, it really just depends on how I meet them, you know? Is it an online thing? An in-person thing? A party? A concert? A convention? Work?

I guess I could say that I get a pretty strong gut reaction to people right off the bat, no matter the context. I'm pretty good about giving myself room to adjust how I feel, but there's definitely a quiet, ongoing vibe check that I notice first thing, if that counts.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

This feels like a false dichotomy.

For years, I thought I didn't like horror, but then I realized that I had just been convinced that I didn't like horror. Turns out, I really like it, I'm just kind of specific about it.

I like happy endings, but sometimes I'm put off when things are just a little too pat, you know?

So, uh, yeah. I like both. This doesn't feel like an either/or for me.

8. Any special talents?

I kinda wanna say 'no,' but that's not really a fun answer, is it?

So, okay. Here's a fun one: One day when I was like, 17 or 18, I was sitting at my grandparents' computer, waiting on something to download for a class project, I saw one of those... Oh, I don't know what they're called, like... one those, uh, letter spikes? You know, it's a spike that sits upright on a desk and you impale letters on it?

Yeah. One of those.

Anyway, I saw it there, and I still don't know why I did this—chalk it up to that ADHD impulsiveness, I suppose—but I took the thing and just, like, slid it into my nostril. I expected resistance, but didn't really find any, so I just kinda, you know, kept going.

I slid the thing in—straight back, mind you! Not up!—until I felt it touch the back of my sinus cavity. It wasn't long before I was showing this off to anyone I could, using progressively more impressive-looking nails. I started keeping a nose nail handy just so I could do the impromptu human blockhead thing on demand at parties and stuff.

Uh, does that count?

9. Where were you born?

Nowhere good, I tell you what.

10. Do you have any hobbies?

I do a lot of tabletop RPG stuff. I'm coming up on session 8 of an Exalted game, which is a lot of fun. I ran tons of it back in the day, but I haven't touched it since like, '11, but it feels good to be running it again. Feels kinda like home.

I play some video games, too. I find that the interest is always there, but the actual doing of it waxes and wanes, and boy, is there a lot of waxing right now. Just... a lot of fun stuff coming out. Lots I want to play.

I, uh... should probably log into FFXIV sometime soon. Get caught up. Take screenshots. Roleplay. Sort inventory. Manage retainers. Anything, really.

Honestly though, I really love making terrariums. I always thought it was kind of neat, but I started watching terrarium videos on YouTube as kind of a Bob-Ross-Moment-of-Zen-Unwind-and-Destress kind of thing while I was working a super-stressful job, and then it just kind of turned into my pandemic hobby. I love it, but I haven't made anything in a while, since I'm low on a few supplies. This is a good reminder to change that, though!

11. Do you have any pets?

I do! Two cats and a leopard gecko. The cats are 17 and 11. The leopard gecko is... at least 16, but could be years older than that, as he was kind of a rescue situation. He's slowing down a lot and getting really fussy, so I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit worried about him, but I reckon he's had a good run.

12. How tall are you?

5'10? 5'11? Depends on my posture, I guess.

13. Favorite Subject in School:

Depends on what kind of school we're talking about.

In grade school, it was usually science, sometimes social studies.

In high school, I took whatever *-as-literature classes I could, but my favorite classes were probably actually World Cultures and Sociology.

In college, I double majored in Anthropology and Linguistics. My favorite class was probably Sociolinguistics, but I was pretty good at Phonetics and the Anthropology of Science Fiction course I took as an undergrad was a ton of fun.

Okay, I guess it doesn't actually depend. Most of that can be boiled down to "I like people, and I like words, and I like what people do with words."

14. Dream job?

As much as I'd love to be pithy and say something like "I don't dream of labor," Baldwin said it better than I could ever hope to.

I don't think I have a dream job. I just kinda wanna do stuff and then have time to, like, not do stuff, you know?

That said, as I get older, I do find myself daydreaming about all kinds of things that feel like they'd be fulfilling now, but didn't even cross my mind when I was in a better position to do something about it more easily.

For all the time I spent staring at the architectural mock-ups in the halls at college, I could have at least taken an intro class, right?

I spent a large chunk of my life thinking I had no interest in making things or putting things together before realizing how much I loved the thin line between frustration and cursing, and elation and satisfaction that comes with repairing something, just because I was told that wasn't the kind of thing guys like me did. Also, uh... Having a half—or even quarter!—decent set of tools (rather than whatever you can find around the house) really, really helps.

So, yeah. I dunno. I'm getting older and still figuring out what I want to do, which is kind of a pain in the ass for an old guy that's long past all the college and "What do you wanna do when you grow up?" part, but I guess that's alright.

Wait. No. I wanna be a garden hermit. Surely, that's still a thing somewhere, right?

15. Eye Color?

Blue.

I'm not tagging anyone because... I dunno, I don't wanna. But hey, feel free to steal this and do it and tag me back so I can see it. That sounds like fun.

I've got an OOC blog over at @justlikethefish. In theory, that's where I talk about stuff like this. In practice, it's mostly like, cats and memes, and the occasional two-sentence post about whatever tabletop game I'm running, or whatever. Oh, and just about every Calvin & Hobbes post I come across.

[thissugarcane]

qaf rewatch, 4x07

I watched 4x 3-6 earlier this week and didn't bother posting my (random, still just about re-outlining the season for fic-writing purposes) scene-by-scene... but this weekend is weird so I'm back to tumblr. (and cutting because no one cares that doesn't want to see how bad I am at outlining for the "swimming with sharks" sequel.)

first scene: actually, no, you know what, the S4 credits: every time I watch these I get sad for two reasons:

brian and justin aren't shown touching except to kiss each other, and

the clearest "scene" we have of them is brian, wiping steam off the mirror as he looks at himself while justin, in the background, is turning away.

the credits tell us they are together physically, but turning away from each other even now. well fuck that.

first scene: at babylon, which is actually brian at the dr's

acid-trippy... oh wait, I bet this is a brian-dream-sequence because it's interspersed with the acid-trippy picture of the MRI results of Brian's testicle; then it cuts to the doctor's office

Dr: "I suspect it's a seminoma. A form of testicular cancer quite common in men your age. However we can't be sure until we perform a biopsy."

Brian: "How do you do that?"

Dr: "Well first we have to remove the testicle."

Brian [not actually meeting the doctor's eyes]: "That's what I was afraid you were gonna say. [pause] And if I don't have cancer, then... you put it back in?"

Dr: "Unfortunately no."

Brian: "I was afraid you were gonna say that too."

Dr: "However, the good news is the procedure is relatively simple and as for the other testes it will be completely functional. [brian looks away again] And neither your sexual performance nor your fertility will be affected."

Brian [looking at his watch?]: "That is good news. I'll be a one-ball wonder."

Dr: "No no no, we'll give you a prosthetic replacement." [goes to get the fake balls] "Here, help yourself."

Brian: "Hmm. Sometimes, you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don't." [won't pick it up.]

Dr: "They all look and feel completely natural. Of course we try to match your original testicle as closely as possible."

Brian: "Not too big, not to small. But just right." [he picks one up] "So what are my chances?"

Dr: "With surgery, and [a] followup procedure, 99%. Not bad."

Brian: "And without surgery?" [as he tosses the fake ball in the air]

Dr: "Cancer will spread through your body. It will invade your vital organs, and you will die."

next scene: ted at group at rehab

someone going on about Blake being such a great sponsor and having such integrity

Blake looks unhappy [because he's sleeping with someone he was sponsoring]

next scene: at the funeral home? at Deb's? it's not gaudy enough to be Deb's place.

emmett, michael, ben and hunter

Hunter here references "long day's journey into night" lolololol is he borrowing shit from Brian's bookshelf?? [ben says it's part of the tenth grade english curriculum]

this scene is before Vic's funeral, Michael is worried about Deb [like everyone]

Deb comes down the stairs acting as if she's fine, "then let's go"

next scene: at vic's gravesite

the coffin is set up

deb at the "head" of the coffin, beside michael [to her left] and rodney [to her right]

beside Michael goes Ben, then Hunter, Emmett, Lindsay and Mel

on the other side of the grave (by rodney) is Ted, then Jennifer, then Brian, then Justin, then some other guy

Michael speaks first: "this is so hard." points out vic's never sentimental, the first one michael came out to, points out vic was cynical and wouldn't like the funeral [brian still won't look at anyone]

[note to self: If this is after Brian's cancer is over, maybe his fight with Deb is about him taking Vic's side in the "boundaries" debate and then after.]

emmett speaks next: "he made a fucking fabulous tarte [farfalle?] with creme fraiche". Mel: "he was the only person I knew who looked good in a hawaiian shirt. Well almost." Some guy: "he once did coke with Liza in Studio 54." Justin: "He was gay before it was fashionable." Rodney: "I never heard him complain. not once. He lived in gratitude."

Michael tries to get Deb's attention, but she just mutters to him, "I think your uncle's heard more than enough of what I have to say."

Minister tells everyone to place the roses, deb, then michael, hunter and everybody -- Brian does this but doesn't say a word.

sort of new scene: them leaving the grave

Michael asks if Deb's holding up and she asks if it looks like she's falling apart. She's focused on "doing"

Emmett and Rodney walk out together

Ted walking alone, Mel and Lindsay walking saying "it's been so long since anyone we know died" and pointing out that the antivirals have lead to complacency (god)

Hunter and Ben together

Then Brian, Jenn and Justin together: Brian: "All I'm saying is thhat it's better to go out when you're young, in a blaze of glory, than to end up some diseased old queen." Justin: "You might feel differently if it were you." Jenn: "Well, at least he didn't get sick linger. That's the worst." Brian: "And in such poor taste. Buy a one-way ticket to Ibiza, party till you drop and then discreetly disappear."

new scene: at Deb's place

Deb focusing on hosting and doing it all, pouring and getting food, being chipper and shit, "it's best to stay busy."

Lindsay offers Deb to join a pottery class (Lindsay, Mel and Jenn are in the kitchen, Ben and Hunter are in the living room with Emmett and Rodney, Michael is following Deb around/ in the living room) (lindsay and Mel go to sit with Ben)

Rodney comes to talk to Deb ("how are you holding up?" rodney: "as good as you.") and give Deb a box of Vic's things including a letter for her.

No sign of Justin and Brian

Deb goes to open the shoebox and read the letter (that he wrote the last time he was sick); Michael approaches trying to convince Deb to accept help; letter says we're gonna have a party

next scene: at ted's condo

blake and ted, guess Ted didn't go to the wake at Deb's

ted being all affectionate and kind of weird, Blake being a bit standoffish (poor blake)

Ted thinking about it could have been his funeral then being all hot

next scene: ben and michael coming home

Ben impressed by Deb not making a scene lol, and figures she's still in shock

hunter is smoking weed at their apartment (he didn't go to the wake)

then michael starts smoking the joint instead

next scene: at the loft, justin and brian

justin feeding brian the shrimp <333

the fortune cookie scene. Brian: "a surprise awaits you"

justin being all flirty

they're still on the floor futons - has brian not bought new furniture yet?

brian starts out making out with justin, like obviously he wants it, then he puts him off with "I'm kinda tired"

next scene: at deb's

wakes emmett up with christmas carols and lol she's spent all night decorating for christmas (in february)

deb holding christmas in feb because of the letter from last time

emmett's like, okay, well, she's not listening, let's just... okay whatever....

next scene: at ted's

ted and blake in bed together

I think this is where Blake breaks up with him :/

blake does look really sad about it :( it's pretty obvious he doesn't want to break up)

Blake: "Look, Ted please, before you start thinking that it's something it's not..." Ted: "that it's me?" Blake: "It's not."

Ted: "of course. never is."

Blake: "I should have known better."

Ted: "Than to get involved?" Blake: "yeah it was a mistake." \Ted: "To fall in love?! To have sex, be close?!" Blake: [shaking his head] "the, the program--" Ted: "Fuck the program, this is my life, I'm allowed to make my own decisions."

Blake: "Yes, and as your counselor it's my responsibility to help you make the right ones." Ted: "You have! You've helped me more than you know. It's like the woman at the meeting said. I don't know what I would have done, how I would have survived without you."

Blake: "Doesn't include sleeping with you." [as he gets out of bed]

Ted: "Then why did you? To make amends?" Blake [turns back around] "The same reason you did. Because I wanted to. But it's hurting you." Ted: "Hurting me? How can it be hurting me?"

Blake: "because you need to focus on yourself right now. Nothing else is important, and that includes me." [gives ted a sad smile, then leaves.]

New scene: hunter after school with Ben

some guy and hunter gets into a fight, hunter is getting into shit at school because he doesn't see a future

ben says he can't self-destruct

new scene: at deb's

christmas music still ongoing?

emmett is like what the actual fuck as deb is setting up reindeer

michael's in the living room and is also like what the fuck

emmett leaves and michael points out to deb pace yourself, and when michael tries to help she gets mad finally, then calms down again goes back to being chipper

next scene: at the loft

lindsay and gus drops by to see brian

gus and brian sit on the floor to watch the movie; brian all morbid about death and how james dean died young

lindsay: "you know in your own, subversive way, you're not a bad father." Brian: "I prefer to see myself as the anti-dad." lindsay: "well, whatever you are, if you want to spend more time with him, all you have to do is ask." brian: "think I'll stick to my uncredited, cameo appearance."

Lindsay: "you know, one day in the not too distant future... [etc about gus's future]

next scene: at michael and ben's

michael's pissed off about hunter's behaviour

ben: "he's the one who's sixteen, who's positive, and who's dealing with an HIV-related death for the first time, try to imagine how terrifying that must be. so if he's acting out right now, it's because he's scared shitless." michael realizes there's shit going on for them

next scene: at babylon

ted shows up, looking (?) for drugs and dr crystal

then justin and emmett :(

Justin: "he's never turned me down before." Emmett: "I have to admit, it doesn't sound like the brian kinney we all know and feel ambivalent about."

ted runs out of the club

Justin: "maybe I'm getting too old for him." Emmett gives him a Look. Justin: "Maybe it's the hair." Emmett: "Honey I loved the hair. and if you're too old, the rest of us should be in assisted care." Justin: "Then what?" Emmett: "Maybe you're in a slump. It happens in the best of non-relationships. Try... spicing it up!"

Justin: "There's nothing and practically no one we haven't done."

Emmett: "all it takes is a couple of new ingredients to perk up an old, familiar dish." [Emmet points out two guys at the bar, Justin picks up his own cosmo and walks over.]

new scene: the loft

brian gets home (from work? from where he's been drinking alone?)

finds justin in the bedroom with the two tricks?

Justin: "Thought you might like a long, hard night after a long, hard day." kisses. Brian: "I, I just remembered I left something at the office." Justin: "Brian?" Brian just walks out on him.

new scene: hunter and michael biking

talking about the party, hunter says he's not going to deb's christmas party

hunter isn't listening

next scene: at ted's

ted holding the crystal vial, emmett comes by

emmett comes by to say he read the amends letter, they start joking about the stationary like old times

then emmett tells ted it was blake who gave it to him. emmett admits there was part of him that wanted ted to be in pain and not recover. ted understands why. emmett says he's lucky to have blake.

next scene: at the loft?

michael and brian; michael says he wants a joint (lol guess ben put his foot down about smoking up at their apartment)

michael being all woe is me, "preponderance of death" and sees absolutely nothing about how brian is struggling too

michael's all worried about Ben and Hunter's HIV, brian tries to be comforting (you can also tell he's struggling about the idea of someone else having to deal with "his stuff" and "turning off [brian's] lights")

brian: "believe what you want [about the illusion of having someone else being there]. the less you have to hold onto, the easier it is to let go." michael: "maybe so. still, I'm glad I have you." Brian: "who said anything about me?" michael: "nice to know that no matter what happens, we'll always have each other, like we always have. right?" and then michael creepily kisses his neck, ew. until that moment this is fine and not weird, but after that...

next scene: outside rehab? [at night]

blake leaving rehab or the hospital? where he works probably

Ted offers Blake a lift, when Blake defers, Ted says "please."

Ted: "[...] After you said you didn't want to see me anymore--" Blake: "I said it wasn't a good idea for us to see each other." Ted: "Right."

Then Ted admits he went to get crystal, but decided not to do it.

Ted: "Look. When we first met, I fell in love because you needed me to take care of you. This time, I fell in love because I needed you to take care of me. And you have. In fact, I wouldn't even be standing here if it wasn't for you. And I am so sorry, if I was too selfish and too horny to see it." Blake: "th-thank you. Ted."

Ted: "So where does that leave us? Aside from stuck with lousy timing once again." Blake: "Yeah, we do seem to have that, don't we? Maybe one day the timing will be right?" Ted: "you think?" Blake: "One can hope." Ted: "Come on. [hand out for the drugs.] In case you get tempted." Ted: [pours out the drugs] "What do you know? It's snowing."

next scene: at kinnetik

Cynthia storms in to chew Brian a new asshole about going away

Cynthia says he "has meetings with Remson, Brown, Eyeconics"

Cynthia knows something is going on but lets it go... Justin is crushed that Brian isn't taking him, and more crushed when Brian's all pissed

on the other hand, Brian shakes his head and denies when Justin's all "we have no obligation to each other", he manages to tell Justin "it's not you"

next scene: at deb's christmas party

shanda lear is performing!

emmett, lindsay, mel, ben and justin are standing there

michael's obviously there with rodney

deb is pretending to be fine and trying to cheer up everyone else

ted is there! not really interacting with people, but he makes up with Emmett

deb makes a scene about the putting the angel on but it falls off, and deb flips out

next scene: the operating room

brian on the surgical table definitely looking freaked out, counting back from ten

[fandomwave]

Hey tumblr user @jesibeii, I couldn't heeeeelp but notice we miiiight have gotten off on the wrong foot concerning fandom and interaction and I just, you know, I was turning over what you said in my head for a while and I realized I wanted to come over and offer some brownies

I realized that I was being what the kids call "An Asshole" in my tags but I also wanted to at least provide some context on the matter, since you know when the poll came onto lawn I wasn't really in the frame of mind to give an entire dissertation on interactivity and contribution on the silly and cursed land that is fandom TM.

Sooo if you'll allow me, and honestly if you don't that's fine too, you can take the brownies and run. I just wanted to earnestly and kindly reach across the isle and examine some concepts.

Just know that in the end of this entire pop up ted talk I'm juggling in my arms with the plate of brownies, that I agree with you:

Fandom has no room for cops. You get to enjoy and do whatever the fuck you want in it. I did not, and do not ever want that to change. Even if the landscape becomes something I don't recognize.

This is gonna get uh, long in the tooth, so I'm just gonna imagine you have one of those lovely porch swings with some bright yellow pillows.

OK LETS GO:

Comfy? Good good ok cool so I'm gonna use your fandom as a springboard because WHOO BOY did BNHA used to be my Jam for a while!

My favorite character is Shinso by the way! I was up to the Chisaki arc in the anime but eventually dropped off, and I was up to chapter uuuh, 350-ish in the manga??? It gets a little blurry from my memory and I'll admit I got a little Tired towards the end before I dropped off there too.

So I think we're on the same page when it comes to passive interaction when it comes to fan-made art! You don't have to have even a remote understanding of the original context to want to enjoy the transformative works that people make

Anyways I wanted to at least start off saying that I do agree in that you don't have to Go Here to enjoy the things fandom creates.

I myself had a laughable amount of Omori fanart before I ever realized there was a game.

And I think I would have been pretty irritated if someone told me that I couldn't look at it or enjoy it for it's composition or color use or emotional resonance because I hadn't sat down to play the game.

You're right, I would be irked as fuck if I went to a public library to read The Chronicles of Narnia and someone griped at me the whole time that I wasn't reading the Bibble

Here's where I get a little confused, and again, PLEASE keep in mind, it is a silly place here, fandom, and my confusion is not condemnation.

Lets say, again using BNHA as the core example here, that I found a fic for Denki/Deku. The person who wrote it made Denki into this really complex and nuanced character. In the fic they mentioned that him and his father had a falling out, mostly because his father was worried that with a kid like him, and his poor grades, he would never be able to cut it at UA.

Deku and him bond over the fact that both of their parents worry for the right reasons about their attendance at UA, and there's even a bit of a grit between the two of them because Denki can't match up to Deku's raw talent, even if he keeps hurting himself over and over for the lack of control, that he wants to prove he can be just as useful, and they have to learn how to navigate that together. Maybe Denki comes to defend Deku more when his quirk hurts him and understands where that comes from given the fact his own causes his brain to short after he pushes himself too hard.

Man there's an ENTIRE chapter dedicated to Denki showing off his lightning points and how he can throw his electricity even further, and Deku gets inspired by the concept, maybe altering his costume altogether to help launch rebar polls to launch off of to move faster in combat!

And I'm enthralled by this, I think that Denki is the best character and I'm so thrilled to get to know this character in canon!

Only to find out he has like, maybe 2 major arcs and is kind of just a gag character.

Or, another example, because lets be real, a large portion of folk characterize Bakugo as nothing more than a mindless abuser. If I only read the most popular fic, I might come to hate this dude.

People mischaracterize Deku all the time as uwu wubby soft boy, and I might be really turned away and think the whole series really IS a waste of time if these characters are as dumb as they are..

To me anyways, fandom is an extrapolation of the source. Without the source, there is no fandom.

And because it's an extrapolation, it's like a photocopy. Every photocopy has some loss from the original. Artistic Telephone if you will. All fandom art that is made and shared is usually transformative in some way from the original which is fantastic!

I think that's why fandom is as weird and silly and stupid as it is, it by it's very nature really can't be taken seriously because it's all just interpretation and speculation and extrapolation on something none of us even own.

I ADORE the idea of someone giving Denki a full fucking realized character in comparison to the original, and hell if I like the work well enough I might magpie some ideas and add it to my own works!

So there is where my example, inflammatory as it was, comes in:

Since fanart and fanfic is an extrapolation of root work, how would someone know if the characterization of someone, or something, be accurate if they've never engaged with the original.

If someone reads a fic (the first extrapolation) where Bakugo is a huge asshole.

Then writes their own fic (the second extrapolation) where Bakugo is a whole new level of monster..

But doesn't know that Bakugo is more.. of an emotionally constipated edge lord..

I think that's where my disconnect and confusion comes from is the idea of loving a work and not having any sort of compass for the 'They Would Not Fucking Say That' radar.

I'm listening to someone's dissertation only to learn in the end that they've never studied the topic.

And I mean, lets be real here, if someone wrote a whole academic essay and I couldn't tell OP never cracked open the source material than like, GOOD ON THEM for logical assumptions and characterization! Insane work that they could interoperate flawlessly from someone else's interpretation.

And to this end, as with all things, someone could name Denki's fucking bloodtype from memory, know the manga by heart and which studio animated specific scenes from the anime, and still turn him into the worst reduction of his tropes in their works. Don't get me wrong knowing the source material doesn't automatically make you a better creator than those who don't

I think the only thing it DOES do is make you a more informed one.

Maybe this also comes from me being uh, how you say, ancient. When women in fic were reduced down to their worst elements. Usually there to be homophobic to whatever slash ship was popular at the time, or just generally horrible. Like imagine if someone did Uraraka dirty in a fic and without any context, any root to check the notes against, you just thought she was Like That.

Not to say they aren't even now. Trust me I have Seen Some Shiiit. But it used to be the default, and canon was a good way to check is that was accurate or not (spoilers it usually wasn't)

So why this big annoying essay? I dunno man, fandom is weird and silly and shouldn't be taken seriously but I also think it's fun to understand people and also get further context in the ways we see things. I wanted to explain myself in a way that wasn't some one liner reddit quip, and I genuinely DID feel really bad making you feel something intense enough to leave the tags, and in all honestly they weren't even that mean aha. If this weird little subculture is gonna survive the corporatization of it's space, the old guard and new guard and everyone in between should help to understand one another as best we can :3

In the end, you're still right.

I should be on my own lawn right now, being unbothered and minding my own business. I hope you don't feel like you're being put on the defense or that I'm trying to be antagonistic here.

This is, an actually earnest means to come across the fence and at least kinda chat about perspectives, how I think active fandom engagement can be skewed without core context, and how passive fandom engagement doesn't require an SAT test on core context. And how yeah, at the end of the day it doesn't matter because fandom is a silly place.

It's just silly. No one should be taking it seriously. If I read a fic from someone who took the worst read on a character they've never engaged with on it's source, but it brought them the most amount of joy in the world to write it, who am I to stop them or to care.

I can find it as confusing as I want, it doesn't matter.

Oh shit I think your sprinklers are coming on, yeah, oh fuck all the flowcharts I brought are just.. getting drenched. You know you can keep the plate btw, I don't really wanna wash it.

Ok I gotta grab these papers before they melt all over lawn

BTW Idk if you drew it or not but ur icon is very cute!

OK BYE

[deoffal-mp-adm7000-n-s1-2022]

The 57, Part 6:

51. Ivan: I really honestly don’t know what inspired this piece, Ivan the Terrible? Ivan Millat? It has been bothering me for months now, I should know why all my pieces are named and drawn the way that they are, but this is proof of just how automatic my processes can get, not every piece is as conscious and direct as the others, and sometimes you get an Ivan that has no true origins and is clouded in mystery, if you can see a greater meaning in it then be my guest. 

52. Chupar: This image is based on one of the many images of hobgoblins and hags in Goya’s Caprices:

Source: https://www.sothebys.com/en/buy/auction/2019/prints-and-multiples/francisco-jose-de-goya-y-lucientes-los-caprichos

This image had always reminded me of the Baba Yaga and other folk tales of ghastly people sucking the life force out of people or eating children, quite a typical fear in pop culture given how many boogeymen and women exist in folktales. But I wanted to redraw it as it has almost a fellating quality to it, the idea of humanity and people generally as life suckers and absorbers for their own hedonistic gratification. Something that Goya is clearly criticising here as he often did in his works when discussing the aimlessness of hedonism and decadence in Spanish society when he was courtier to a king and even when he was destitute in death. A timeless issue clearly. There is even a concept in Satanism called “Energy Vampires”, people who go out there way to drain your energy socially and mentally, the same people who get off from bringing other people down or blaming someone else for their bad attitude and poor people skills, everyone has atleast met and been friends with someone like this at some point in there life I’m sure, some people just exist to bother other people, look at Mormons for example. 

53. Mush: This piece is more of a redrawing of the ‘Ted’ piece, and attempts to represent the uncanny as the conversation between where the humanity ends and where abhuman starts, and by that representation it also leads you to ask what is considered existence in reality and what can only be represented through fantasy as the result of such immense reimagining of real/ recognisable things and figures? The title is more a take on Ted as a mute pile of sentient and perceptive mush at the end of his story, begging the question what is considered alive or undead depending on being able to live and not live consciously when you are incapable of regular and autonomous functionality? This in turn leads into the controversial dialogs on ethical euthanasian and the like, but I won’t say more on that here. 

54. Revelation: Just like the piece ‘Trinity’, this piece is based on the ideas of biblical realism as represented through eldritch imagery, almost making abrahamic ideas of the divine and mystical into depictions of illustrative Lovecraftian realism. The idea of the book of revelations too being a book about destruction and a pessimistic end for the rest of humanity who didn’t give themselves over to god is quite a piece of inspirational material really, so I thought It would be fun to muse an image of this apocalypse with another abhuman depiction of a god or angel. 

55. Primate: This piece is about me playing with the image of a Palaeolithic man as collaged with natural motifs and cellular imagery surrounding them, as our ideas of dinosaurs and primordial animals are all speculative based on what we have found, but we can only imagine their appearance and the later appearances of man based on semblances of DNA evidence and examples of bones and hair, this for an artist is just an excuse to reimagine and play with the image of evolutionary history, especially of history long before the recognisable modern history of homo sapiens now, so excuse this piece as a surrealist idea of man before recognisability, and as seen as between the amoeba and the natural world etc.

56. Flare: This piece is simple enough, just another take on Biosophy and on nature, and man’s connectivity to it in life and death, the flare of life being eventually met by natures consumption of the body to create new life, as if the human body were a seed store ready to be cracked open and harvested from as with all animals eventually. This piece is one of my favourites, I love how graphic and morbid the aesthetic is, but it’s not too overbearing or graphic in an ethical sense either, just visually notable, and it sticks in my mind because of that. 

57. Matter: To quote myself again from the Robert Walters opportunity: 

“This piece is based on Rene Descartes' discussions on composite matter and his existentialist conversations on the objective and subjective in relation to how we experience the world outside of your own comprehension and comforts. As discussed in 'Discourse on Method and the Meditations' (1637). As featured in my current project 'Noumena'.”

This piece has been used in many of my previous competitions, for the primary reason that it represents my negotiations on objective forms and the semantics of noumenal influences on the human mind and our conventional understandings of the world and ourselves, the same discussion being had by Descartes long before I would ever attempt to represent it in art of course. And though Descartes discussed matter and existence to justify creationism, I use it for the opposite reason, that human beings are far too complicated and have to be the product of nature as matter cannot be made nor destroyed as goes the fundamental law of matter itself, and just because life when analysed at each layer is complicated and esoteric to the common mind, doesn’t mean some manmade idol is responsible for it. 

[parvulous-writings]

Not so Wyld morning // Bill S Preston + Ted Logan x M!Reader

Request:     can you write a fluff oneshot with bill (s preston) x ted logan x m! reader with like. a sleepy morning between the three?

Requested by: @mlmpunisher​

Summary: Starts off as the request, and then goes off on a trip to the Circle K. I may or may not have gotten carried away. 

Warnings: a brief joke about kidnapping/death.

Words: 3.5K

Notes:  I’ve been waiting for an idea/request for these two. They’re my comfort idiots. My love for them... Let’s just say I watch the movies a fair amount, eh? My requests are currently open! My pinned post (found here) contains both a list of characters I write for, and a masterlist! Original character list - please request for these too!

Not my gif 

You, Bill and Ted were spread rather haphazardly over Bill’s bed. Legs crossed over one another, hands on chests or in faces. You were all tangled together, not that any of you really cared about that at that moment.  You had all fallen asleep during a study session- you had been desperately trying to tutor your boyfriends Bill and Ted, so that they didn’t fail their history class and completely flunk out of school- mostly because Ted’s father, Captain Logan, was threatening to send the taller boy away to an Alaskan military school to whip him into shape should he fail the semester. That was now an all too real threat to the three of you, none of you wanted to get pulled apart from one another. You had been trying to quiz them on the philosophies of the great Athenian thinker Socrates (whom both young men insisted on pronouncing So-Crates no matter how many times you corrected them) when you passed out one by one. First Ted- who was up against the headboard, and whose head had slumped forward when you had gotten onto the fifth or sixth question. Then Bill, draped over Ted’s legs, after leaning back to protest about how the quiz was starting to become “A total drag,” around the tenth question. He had promptly passed out whilst you were telling him it was for their own good- you weren’t all that surprised when you were interrupted by a rather loud snore coming from the curly-haired Bill.You hadn’t bothered to try and wake either of them- not only would they both be rather irritable if you woke them up too early, but it was nearly one o’clock in the morning at that point, so you figured that perhaps they were both subconsciously onto something.  You had taken the range and array of textbooks off of the bed, creating a little more space for you to somehow work yourself between them and get more comfortable to get some sleep of your own. After some shuffling, and a few murmurs from both Bill and Ted, you had found the perfect position, where you had promptly fallen asleep with them.

You were the first to wake up. Ted had taken your arm in both of his in your sleep, cuddling it as if it were a teddy bear. Bill’s legs had somehow tangled with yours, and he had ended up nuzzled into the side of your chest, not that you minded all that much. Though Ted was the more affectionate of your boyfriends in public, Bill could be just as affectionate as him in private. You tried not to move at first, not wanting to disturb them- they could both be as bad as each other when it came to being woken up too early (too early was counted as anything before they woke up by themselves). So, for what you had gauged to be about twenty minutes or so, you just laid there, staring up at the ceiling. There were no thoughts of any importance that drifted through your mind at this point, not until you had finally grown restless enough to carefully push yourself up onto one elbow to check the time on Bill’s alarm clock- which he rarely actually used as anything more than just a normal clock. It had just gone half past ten, and you felt your eyes go wide- that was much later than you had anticipated. Thankfully it was a weekend, though briefly your brain had tricked itself into thinking it was mid-week, causing even more of a jolt in your chest. You would have to get up soon to make your way back home; it was bad enough that you had spent the night out without letting your parents know that you’d be out past eleven o’clock. Every moment past nine in the morning that you spent away from them, the angrier they would get with you.  With this thought in mind you tried to push yourself up a little bit more, fully prepared to undertake the rather massive task of trying to begrudgingly untangle yourself from the two men you held dear, but you were quickly brought back down again by an unseen hand. Your head landed on Ted’s stomach, and you glanced over to him, seeing him peering back at you through tired eyes and a rather messy head of hair. He gave you a rather dopey smile, and you realised he was the one to pull you back; mostly prompted by the fact that Bill was giving another round of freight-train like snores. Ted’s head fell back again when you didn’t struggle against his protests of getting out of bed, and he gave a yawn before beginning to speak. “Morning, chief.” He mumbled, voice still raspy with the last dregs of sleep his body was trying to cling onto.  “I don’t get why you call me that.” You replied in a whisper, trying not to wake Bill. “Surely I should be the one calling you that- given your dad’s job and everything...”  “Eh,” Was Ted’s simple reply, accompanied with a rather lazy shrug. It was about a minute before the only other boy awake in the room started to speak again. “I mean, it does kind of suit you, doesn’t it? You keep me and Bill in order...” He prompted, glancing over to you with that same goofy smile, before his gaze moved back to the ceiling.  “For the most part, I guess.” You smiled back at him, taking his hand and draping his arm across you, so you could play absently with his fingers. Ted never minded that. 

The pair of you fell into a comfortable silence, which was disturbed only briefly, and rather inconsistently, by Bill’s snores. You weren’t sure how long you laid there for this time, but the rather delightful monotonous repetition was ultimately interrupted by a quiet groan of protest from the blonde haired boy at the end of the bed. He rolled onto his front, trying to cover his eyes- he had fallen asleep rather inconveniently where the light peaked through the blinds in the early morning. “Someone close the blinds,” He complained, trying to turn away from them but ultimately failing.  “Bill...” You chuckled lightly, nudging him to get his attention. “They are closed. The light is coming through the gap.” Your words were only met with a groan from Bill, and a stifled laugh from Ted.  “You should get it fixed, dude.” The taller boy jested, nudging the boy again, and Bill responded with a half-hearted swipe at Ted’s foot.  “Shut up, Ted.” Of course, he didn’t mean this in an inherently horrid way, despite his gruff tone. He loved both you and Ted deeply, more than he could love anything else- or at least that was what he thought. Ted thought very much the same thing- though that was no surprise. More often than not, it was like the two shared the exact same brain. If they were not thinking of the exact same plan down to the detail when it came to schemes, they were at the very least agreed on the end result. Most of the time this wasn’t too much of a problem for you- usually you were at the butt end of whatever shenanigan they were plotting- but there were times when you did get a little bit overwhelmed by the pair of them. More often than not, the times where you got overwhelmed involved a very particular phone-booth, with some rather unique properties. Unless you were in it’s presence you tried not to think about it- the amount of times you had been put through mind-bending situations already made your head spin to even consider again. They’d predict something, it would happen immediately after said prediction, then they would turn to one another and proclaim a quick “Excellent!” before reminding one another that they would need to remember that later. You were still a little bit confused by it- especially when they sprung something random on you-but you thought you were slowly starting to understand, even though the concept of time travel didn’t seem quite real. 

You broke your train of thought upon feeling a sudden weight on your chest. Though you wanted to crane your neck to see who it was, you didn’t really need to, you knew it was Bill. You did it anyway- your eyes being met with the golden curls of Bill’s hair. “Bill, love, I’m going to have to get up soon.” You warned him, as your movement would definitely affect him more than Ted.  “No.” He replied simply. From his tone, you could tell he didn’t overly want to debate it.  “But I stayed over without letting my parents-”  “You’re fine, you’re safe, what do they have to complain about?” He grumbled, shuffling so that his chin was on your stomach, his arms wrapped around your middle. His deep green eyes met yours, before flitting briefly to Ted, giving you both a smile. “C’mon, dude. It won’t hurt to have a little longer with us, right?” He asked, and you moved your hand to quickly brush a stray curl from his brow.  “Maybe he should go soon- like, just to check in.” Ted piped up, ever in your corner. “Cause you know what happens if he gets in trouble. He won’t get to see us for like... A week. That is most heinous, and you know it.” At this rather right line of reasoning, Bill groaned, burying his face into the fabric of your shirt.  “Shut up, Ted.” This was quite muffled, and of course still not completely serious. You laughed softly, “Okay- what about this? One hour. Like this.Then, we can ask Missy to drive us back to my place, and I can let my parents know I’m fine, and you two haven’t like... Murdered me, or something.” You joked, and you can feel Ted nod enthusiastically underneath you.  “Yeah, that’s a good idea!” He agreed, and you could hear the smile that was in no doubt plastered onto his face. “Then we can all head down to the Circle K afterwards, right?”  “Sure we can, Ted.” You agreed, reaching up behind you to clumsily pat his cheek.  “Only if he isn’t in trouble, remember?” Bill pitched in, shuffling to get comfortable again. “What about half an hour? If we want to head to Circle K, obviously.” You all consider this new plan for a moment, before each of you gave a curt nod, in unison. 

So there you all stayed- you nearly even fell asleep again before you felt Bill roll off of you. He then took your arm and helped you up, and Ted quickly rolled off of the bed to grab his sneakers. Bill chucked yours at you, before going to get his shoes as well. Ted was the first downstairs- “Hey, Missy?” He called out, and he was quickly met with the young woman’s reply.  “Yeah? What’s up, Ted?” She asked, giving a warm smile.  “We were hoping that you could drive us to (Y/N)’s house?” He asked, briefly wringing his hands, as he eagerly awaited her response.  “Sure thing!” She nodded cheerily, “Let me just finish making these drinks, and I’ll be right with you. You guys go out to the car.” She nodded over to the door leading to the garage. As you and Bill started down the stairs, Ted eagerly gestured for you both to follow him.  It didn’t take Missy very long to finish making the drinks she was preparing, and you all piled into the car. “So- did you all sleep well?” The blonde woman asked, glancing back at you and Bill in the back of the car- Ted had a fascination with sitting in the front seat. Ted and Bill nodded individually; you were the one to verbally reply.  “Yeah, I think we all got a fairly good night sleep.” You give an almost awkward smile. Though, at one point, both of your boyfriends had had some form of crush on her- despite her being quite a few years older than all of you- you hadn’t entirely understood why. You never really mentioned it though.  “Good to hear,” She replied, still wearing that joyful smile. “Hey, Bill- you might need to use the spare key today, the one behind the plant, if you’re staying out late with the boys.” She took a turning as she spoke, keeping her eyes on the road. “Me and your dad are going out for dinner tonight.”  “Okay, Missy- I mean, mom.” Bill replied, quickly correcting himself on his mistake. “Just stop on the corner here,” He told her, gesturing to the side of the road a five minute walk from your house.  “Are you sure?” She asked, glancing over her shoulder as she spoke. “I can take you all the way, if you-”  “No, it’s alright, thanks, Missy.” You interrupt quickly, leaning forward. “Here is fine.” She shrugged, but begrudgingly pulled over. 

“Thanks, Missy!” Ted called after the now fleeting car, giving a wave as well, before jogging to catch up with you and Bill, who had already started to cross the road to get to your street. “I’ll quickly grab some money whilst we’re there,” You told the pair of them, and they nodded.  “I was thinking we could get some slushies.” Ted suggested, giving a wide smile.  “Blue and red?” Bill added, giving a smile of his own, and Ted nodded energetically.  “Our tongues’ll end up as purple, you two know that, right?” You teased with a grin, glancing over your shoulder as Bill laughed heartily. It took Ted a moment longer to get the joke, but he started laughing even harder than Bill when it clicked with him.  “Oh well,” Bill shrugged, a rather mischievous smile. You fell into silence again as you jogged up your driveway, almost wrenching open the door and calling out a hasty “Hey!” to announce your presence to the household and those within it. You quickly made your way to your room, as Bill and Ted quietly entered your home after you, choosing to stay in the hallway- even though they had visited and stayed over at your house many times before. They were both silently hoping that they were making their will to leave relatively soon clear. Your father came into the living room, glancing to the two boys standing awkwardly in the hallway. “Bill, Ted.” He greeted, calmly. Bill mouthed a silent ‘Hi’, whilst Ted just waved. Neither of them wanted to anger your parents- Ted, because he knew how authority figures could be, he’d had experience with his own father, and Bill just didn’t want you to be punished and kept away from them. You came back through as quickly as you could, palming some of your loose change in your hand, making sure you would have enough for a slushie for yourself, and for your boyfriends if they hadn’t brought any money with them- which was more than likely.  “Going out again?” Your father asked you, wanting to make some sort of conversation. You nodded, glancing to him and giving a smile.  “Yeah, heading out to Circle K with Bill and Ted.” You told him. He was a lot more relaxed with the rules than your mother- whom you currently assumed to be out for lunch with one of her friends.  “Did your study session go well, then?”  “Yeah- we went over Socrates again. We all passed out- that’s why I didn’t come home or call last night.” Your father laughed gently, he understood.  “I figured as much. Your mother was saying that you could have been kidnapped- but I kept saying you’re a smart kid, you’d know what to do if that were a risk. Plus, I don’t think there’s anyone in San Dimas who would want to kidnap you.”  “Even if they did want to steal him away, we’d take whoever it is on,” Bill stated, confidently- nudging Ted.  “Yeah, we would!” The taller boy confirmed with a nod. You giggled and shook your head at the pair. Even your father chuckled gently at them.  “Good to know my son is in safe hands.” Though your father was aware that these two weren’t the sharpest tools in the shed of San Dimas, he wasn’t about to take away some of your only company. Your mother had brought it up to him before, but he usually elected to ignore the comments. “Anyway- get going, before your mother gets back. If she sees you going off with these to again without checking in properly she’ll have a fit.” He gestured to the door, “Just be back by eleven tonight, alright?”  “We’ll have him back by then!” Ted told him, opening the door and striding out, followed closely by Bill, and then you. Your father gave a wave, before heading back into your family home. 

There were few words on the journey to the local orange ringed store, you only started to speak again when you had each purchased your chosen flavour of slushie. Bill with strawberry, Ted with blue raspberry, and you with another blue raspberry. You all took a seat on the curb, and you decided to fill the silence with one of the first thoughts that came to your head mid-sip. “So, are you two ready for the end-of-semester presentation Mr Ryan is going to assign?” You asked, and both of your boyfriends looked rather shocked. “What? He’s done it with every other year-group, and we’re not exactly different, specification wise....” You pointed out, and Ted groaned.  “I suck at presentations.” He complained, “Plus neither of us can remember anything that Mr Ryan has taught us!” He exclaimed, gesturing rather wildly with his slushie. “I mean, even with your help, dude, I don’t think we’re going to do all that well.” You were about to speak, but Bill was the one to step in first.  “We gotta try, man,” He placed an affectionate hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder, “If we don’t, it’s even more likely that you’re going to be sent off to that heinous school in Alaska.” Ted considered this, then nodded. Bill was right.  “I’ll do everything I can to help my boys remember all they can,” You told them, a fond smile on your face which they quickly returned. They loved being referred to as your boys, they couldn’t even deny it- you could see it in their eyes. Bill leant over and pressed a very brief kiss to your cheek- though not before checking the parking lot was clear, empty of onlookers- and Ted reached across Bill’s legs to grab your hand, squeezing your palm to show some affection; you were too far away for a kiss from him, and he didn’t overly want to get up whilst his slushie was still rather full. He took a sip from the plastic straw in his beverage, before clearing his throat. “So..” He began, starting to grin wider than usual. “Who wants to make purple?” He nudged Bill, who then quickly looked to you, wearing the same grin as your other boyfriend. You started to laugh- of course this had been something that neither of them had forgotten. 

Without another word exchanged between you, you leant to close the gap between you and Bill, letting lips and tongue tangle in a passionate display of affection. Ted stared on adoringly, not overly minding that Bill was the first to get your attention and affection- though now he had finished off the majority of his drink he scuttled round to your other side, carefully taking your jaw in his hand when you eventually pulled away from Bill to catch your breath. Your break didn’t last for too long, since Ted pulled you gently so your already kiss swollen lips met his equally soft ones. Bill couldn’t help the warm and love-filled smile that spread over his face, before he just had to press a kiss to your cheek, and then reach over to Ted’s cheek to make sure he wasn’t left out. You all separated after a minute or so, and you wiped your lip carefully, wearing the same wide and almost goofy smile as the other two. Your lips, and tongue, as predicted, had turned a rather strange shade of purple.  “I think we should get another snack,” Ted suggested, “Cause I’m hungry, and then we can get the colour off of our tongues,” He grinned, and Bill considered the preposition.  “I guess some food wouldn’t hurt...” He agreed, “Marshmallows?” He suggested, which was replied to with a nod from both you and Ted. “I’ll get them then,” Bill smiled at you both, searching his pocket for some spare change as he got to his feet; marshmallows were a fair bit cheaper than slushies, and he could afford them with what he had to hand. Whilst he went back into the Circle K, you shuffled closer to Ted, smiling lightly as he drew you closer with an arm around your shoulder. That morning had certainly been most excellent, as most of the time with your boyfriends always was- it was something that you always looked forward to; spending time with them, making memories that would forever make you smile. 

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What if paranoid Bella told Carlisle what's going on and enlisted his help? Like if she overheard/learned something that made her think he might help, or if this is the Bella who's stuck in a time loop and figures it's worth a shot and at worse she'd be yeeted right back to the beginning of the loop if the vampire doctor is in cahoots with his scary son?

Anon is referring to Paranoid Bella. Now, Paranoid Bella has tried something like this once before, sort of, Billy called Carlisle on her behalf. It went places so awful I refuse to put them down in words.

Here the question is what if Bella asked Carlisle herself.

Why Paranoid Bella Would Never Do This

She can't trust any of the Cullens, for all she knows, they're in league with Edward. Bella's wearing her tin foil hat and that tin foil hat has kept her alive, dammit. For all she knows, this Dracula's Bride thing is just what vampires do and she's the latest victim.

She would never, ever, trust any of the Cullens. Ever.

Dr. Cullen seems nice as he stitches her up? IT'S A TRAP!

As For Time Loop Bella...

Anon's referring to this post, which... You really want this AU, don't you? I think that's conflating things a little too much here, and gives us way too different of a set up.

That Bella would probably try anything and everything, but she's also reached a point of nihilism where she just doesn't care anymore and might just do it to fuck with these people.

Even if she tells Carlisle, she probably keeps looping, and is well aware of this. Life is misery, pain, and endless.

Kind of misses the spirit of your post (which I assume is to get Paranoid Bella out of the miserable hole she's stuck in).

Bella Takes a Leap of Faith

But alright, Carlisle Cullen seems unusually cool and rational as he stitches her up. Maybe it's the pain talking, or Bella's own increasing desperation with her latest brush with morality, but she realizes just as Edward does that this is untenable.

If Bella keeps hanging around these people, as Edward insists she does (Edward having insisted on this goddamn birthday party at his house), then she will die sooner or later. Either Edward or his family will eat her.

This cannot go on and, as of that moment, Bella doesn't know that Edward is going to attempt to leave her within a few days.

This is the first time she's alone with Carlisle, the head of the coven, and probably the only time she ever will be. This is the only chance she'll ever have to ask for help from someone who can actually do something about it.

Bella interrupts Carlisle's "Edward's just weirdly religious" explanation and tells him that Edward's a lunatic. She needs help.

Carlisle has a, "Wait, what?" moment. He knew she was jumpy, very nervous, but she'd seemed very happy with Edward. Also, from his perspective, Edward is a very noble spirit if very young. Edward went on the human diet and came back, presumably understanding the inherent worth of human life. Edward voted not to murder Bella after the truck.

Yes things have been... weird, and Carlisle was concerned, still is about some parts, but it seemed to be going so well.

It's not.

He sits there in numb horror as Bella tells him all about the times Edward snuck through her window (greasing it to make it silent), to stare at her while she sleeps, the time he threatened to kill himself upon her inevitable death, how he has admitted to following her everywhere and spying on her through the thoughts of those around her, and all about that time he contemplated the murder of his entire Biology class to eat Bella: his personal brand of heroin.

Carlisle's listening to someone talk about a completely different person.

But Bella's insistent, Edward Cullen is Ted Bundy in the making, and Bella now has no other recourse but to turn to Carlisle. HELP. ME.

Well, they don't have much time left.

Edward will be back any moment and Carlisle... there must be some misunderstanding, right? Except, with some of these details, there's no misunderstanding this. If Edward actually said and did all of this: then this is horrible.

Regardless, it's very clear that Bella wants nothing to do with the Cullens and especially with Edward. That makes things very clear: Carlisle has to talk to Edward on Bella's behalf and get him to back the fuck off.

Though Carlisle does warn Bella that, as she knows the secret, she and the coven are technically breaking the law. If she's found out, Bella will either be murdered or turned. It's not necessarily likely anyone will find out but... It's not exactly a great position for the coven to be in, or Bella for that matter.

This is news to Bella.

Bella says she'll think about this vampire business (she's not thrilled) and really doesn't want to join the Cullens, and Carlisle will talk to Edward.

The talk doesn't go well.

Edward denies, denies, denies, and... admits some of it might be true were you to look at it from a the naive angle of a pure young woman who knows nothing of the world. Edward wasn't sneaking into Bella's room to rape/eat her, no, he was protecting her! From spiders! And that time he forced her to ride home with him, he was afraid she wouldn't be able to drive after fainting! And that time he almost murdered all of Biology... That was out of context, Carlisle.

Carlisle grows increasingly horrified as Edward's every answer confirms that he is, in fact, horrifying. This is someone who cares nothing about human life, not truly, and is a predator.

Carlisle immediately tells Edward it's over. Consider this a restraining order from Bella, he is never to speak to her, never to be near her, never to see her ever again.

Edward implodes.

Carlisle now hates him, this is terrible, Bella his true love doesn't love him at all and poisoned Carlisle against him, and she's ruined everything!

Spiraling further into madness, as one does, Edward concludes that Bella was a vile villainess: that this was her plan the entire time. She faked her love for him, faked being this utterly wonderful and perfect being, so that she could destroy his family as well as Edward himself? Why? Because she's the type who wants to see the world burn.

Edward's love turns to utter hatred, he's back in Biology again where this little girl dares to disrupt his life, only it's 1000 times worse. Bella Swan is the greatest evil that has ever walked this Earth.

And now he's a man with nothing to lose.

Carlisle's love for him? Already gone. Carlisle's faith in Edward's humanity? Gone. Why should Edward hold back anymore? Why shouldn't he have what he wants?

Within a few days, by the time Edward was originally going to leave, he sneaks into Bella's house and murders her in her bedroom. He then likely desecrates her corpse so she's unrecognizable, to make her as ugly in death as she should have been in life.

Edward then flees, leaving the coven for good, and returns to his diet of people. Not murderers and rapists anymore though, that pretense is done, because he's fully embraced being a monster.

I imagine out of pettiness he kills women who look like Bella.

Conclusion

Congratulations, anon, you have lost the Twilight Yandere Simulator.

[beepboop358]

How I think the characters will react to Byler when it is officially officially confirmed in the show:

El: once El realizes she doesn't romantically love Mike, she will become an avid byler protector.

El is a badass independent woman with a pure heart of gold. She cares deeply for Mike because he was the first person to show her any sort of compassion, so she will want him to be happy, and after she grows closer to Will, she will want Will to be happy too. El won't understand the societal stigmas around Mike and Will liking each other, since she was raised in a lab away from society and then lived isolated in Hopper's cabin, she has no knowledge of what society deems right from wrong surrounding sexuality and love. She will think other people thinking Mike and Will's relationship is 'wrong' or 'unnatural' is utter bullshit and completely stupid, as she should!

Jonathan: he will be 100% supportive. He knows how Lonnie tormented Will and made homophobic remarks about Will being gay when he was younger. He has always encouraged Will to be himself and ignore what others say, especially what Lonnie says. Jonathan will also be a byler protector.

Jonathan knows Will isn't "normal", he even said Will was "good at hiding" in s1 which has several meanings, and he probably already knows Will likes Mike because of how he immediately turns to look at Will after Mike blurts out he loves El in s3 in Hopper's cabin.

s1 ep. 2: "He's trying to force you to like normal things, and you shouldn't like things because people tell you you're supposed too."

s2 ep. 1: "No I'm serious. You're a freak. But what? Do you want to be normal? Do you wanna be just like everybody else? Being a freak is the best. I'm a freak. Who would you rather be friends with? Bowie or Kenny Rogers? Exactly. It's no contest. The thing is, nobody normal ever accomplished anything meaningful in this world. You got it?"

------(Some subtle queer coding there with the Bowie reference; David Bowie was a bisexual musician, and he also sings the original version of the song "Heroes" that plays after Will's fake body is found in s1, and the lines that play while Mike cries and hugs his Mom are extremely queer coded: "And we kiss as though nothing could fall. And the shame.")

Nancy: It's implied Nancy and Mike are pretty close, and honestly I think she has always suspected that Mike has a little thing for Will. From the look on Nancy’s face when he blurts out he loves El, it kind of reads as like she doesn’t believe him, because she knows something.

s1 ep.7: "I knew you were acting weird, I just, I thought it was beause of Will"

Joyce: will be 100% supportive, and a protective mama bear of Will as always, but also for Mike. Joyce will join the club of avid byler protectors along with Jonathan and El.

Dustin: avid byler supporter. I think he's picked up on how much Mike cares for Will, how Will cares for Mike, and has probably suspected at least something this whole time. Dustin doesn't care about being considered cool he cares about doing what he likes and being true to himself, and that belief for sure translates into how he views his friends as well. He will absolutely support Mike and Will and treat them normally.

s3 ep.3: "Instead of dating somebody because you think it's gonna make you cooler, why not date somebody you actually enjoy being around?" s1 ep.6: "Sometimes your total obliviousness just blows my mind"

Max: She seems pretty perceptive, so she's probably picked up on Mike and Will's 'special dynamics' by now, and we know she's definitely sick of how Mike treated El. She will be supportive of Will and Mike, but mostly she will just be glad Mike isn't with El anymore LOL.

Lucas: I think he definitely notices Mike seems to reallllyyyy care for Will, and that Mike doesn't act the same about El, although he claims too. I think Lucas sees through Mike's bullshit. Look at his smirking face and crossed arms when Mike frantically asks where Will is in s2:

and how he reacts the same way to Mike blurting out he loves El and "can't lose her again" in s3:

Hopper: he will probably want to kill Mike again.

"wait what?! so.. let me get this straight...all that time you were making out with my daughter, you were just...pretending to love her? You lied to her the whole time you two 'dated' yeah? And now you're dating your best friend. Oh god wait, I watched you tell him that asking him to be your friend was the best thing you ever did that night in the shed... Oh you little asshole!"

I can't imagine Hopper being homophobic towards Will and Mike, but I don't see him jumping up and down for them either. He will mainly be upset that Mike dated El when he was actually in love with Will, and not care so much that Mike is in love with another boy, just another person. But once he processes that El is actually okay, he will be fine with it.

Lonnie: is the literal scum of the earth! Obviously Lonnie will hate that Will is gay and dating another man. He will probably make some comments about how he "always knew it" and call Will and Mike homophobic slurs, probably at Will's birthday.

s1 ep.1: "He used to say he was queer, called him a f*g"

Steve: "Oh you two little shits are dating now? But I thought he was into the psionic chick? No? Okay, alright cool. Uh hey have you guys met Robin yet? I think you would get along, you know what I'll introduce you." Steve was so accepting of Robin coming out to him, there's no way he won't have the same kind of reaction for Mike and Will.

Robin: once she gets to actually know them and spend time with them, she will adopt Mike and Will as her gay sons and inspire them to be themselves and help them out whenever they need it. She will also pick up on the fact that they like each other immediately. If we don't get this pairing in s4 because of location logistics, I really hope we get it in s5!!!

Erica: she won't be homophobic, but she just won't care too much.

Karen: will encourage Mike to follow his heart, and like whoever he likes, because a relationship needs real love to survive, and she knows all too well what it is like to be stuck in a relationship with no love, and she doesn't want that for her kids, she wants better for them. She wants Mike to be truly happy no matter what, and she doesn't want to see him repeat her mistakes. Karen will be very supportive of Mike, and probably defend him to Ted.

s1 ep.2: "All this that’s been going on with Will, I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you. I just…I want you to feel like you can talk to me. I never want you to feel like you have to hide anything from me. I’m here for you okay?”

Ted: he won't be as much of an asshole as Lonnie will be about it, but he will probably make some snarky comments.

s1 ep.7: “our son with a girl? *scoffing*”

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

dancing on dreams, m | myg

pairing(s): yoongi x reader, (very) minor jungkook x reader

summary: The wrong guy shows up in your car – Jeon Jungkook. Big sigh. He’s drunk out of his mind and blabbering away. Then the right guy who you’re supposed to pick up, Min Yoongi, says Jungkook’s apartment is on the way. Might as well drop off passed-out Jungkook and make sure he’s okay. Or Yoongi could fuck you on Jungkook’s bed. That also works.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language, tiny bit of crack; alcohol consumption; smut (fem reader, fingering, f-receiving oral, penetrative sex); fluff; non-idol!AU - friends with benefits / lovers? with Yoongi; you two fuck slightly on top of and next to sleeping Jungkook, tsk tsk; technically JK is in his red My Time outfit lol

repost, originally called ‘a–dick–ted’  and then I realized tumblr doesn’t like that lmao

--

now playing – don’t threaten me with a good time by panic! at the disco

“I’m not as think as you drunk I am.”

That’s what Jeon Jungkook slurred to you as he flopped into your passenger’s seat, the stench of alcohol so strong you recoiled. He was wearing a thin red blazer and his sheer black shirt was missing half the top buttons, revealing his tan, muscular pecs.

Also, he wasn’t supposed to be in your car.

“Get out.”

Jungkook hiccupped and squinted at you. “Noona! What’s up? I didn’t expect to see you here,” he continued, completely ignoring your annoyed look. “I thought you didn’t party.”

You narrowed your eyes. “That’s because I don’t. I’m picking someone up. Get out of my car.”

He shot two finger guns at you. “Eyy, that could be me.”

“It most certainly is not you, Jeon Jungkook. Now yeet yourself out of my car, please.”

He spread his legs, red slacks way too tight for him and his thick thighs and calves. He was wearing patent black leather oxfords as well. The only reason Jungkook bothered to look this good was to get attention. You sighed loudly. You shouldn’t have left your doors unlocked. You had been waiting outside the party house for only ten minutes. Lights and laughter boomed from the home, livening the late night. Too many drunk people were making out on the porch. It was a fucking mess. A minute ago, you were alone, playing on your phone, only to hear the door click and to see the wrong person saunter into your car.

Jungkook slapped his thighs and you flinched, looking away.

“Hey, I thought we were cool,” he grinned, tilting his head. His long black hair was half-tied back, curly from sweat. “I only tried to kiss you that one time.”

You rolled your eyes. “No, you tried to put your hands down my pants, you manwhore.”

Jungkook made a disgusted face. “Whoa, hey, no, no. I’m not a manwhore.”

Your eyebrows rose so high you thought they left your face.

“Your harem says otherwise.”

You pointed outside your car. Seven girls were clinging to the railing, staring at Jungkook in your car. Jungkook turned his head and grinned, waving. Then he abruptly shook it, turning back to you.

You gave him a deadpan stare.

He struggled to complete a full sentence. “What I’m saying is…” Five full seconds of Jungkook trying to conjure five brain cells and failing. “Yeah, okay, I kiss people and touch and stuff…” You were ready to punch him out of your car. “But I’m a…” Hiccup. He looked slightly green.

Then he opened your car door and stuck his head out, vomiting.

“Ugh, gross,” you frowned, repulsed. You looked around your car and found a half-full water bottle in your cup holder. Jungkook turned around and you shoved it into his face, shooing him.

“Rinse out your mouth before you speak to me again, animal.”

Jungkook stared at the water bottle and took it, grimacing. Then he unscrewed the cap, placed it to his lips, and took a big gulp, sloshing it in his mouth before gargling and spitting onto the grass. You looked away, shaking your head.

Ew.

Not to mention he just indirectly kissed you.

Double ew.

You heard him do it again and then noisily drink the rest, crushing the plastic with suction. You turned back to see Jungkook shoot the crumpled plastic bottle out your car.

“What the fuck? Why did you litter?” you scowled.

Jungkook looked out the window, surprised. “Oh. You’re right. Sorry.”

You narrowed your eyes. Out of your peripheral vision, you noticed Jungkook’s harem rush to the fallen water bottle, claiming it triumphantly like crows to a shiny bit of aluminum foil. Okay, well… at least it wasn’t litter.

He cleared his throat, pointing at you. “Anyway, as I was saying, I’m not a–”

“Dirty little fuckboy?”

His head jerked back, dark brown eyes narrowing at you.

“How do you read my mind?” he muttered.

You rolled your eyes.

“Anyway, I’m a virgin.”

You blinked at him and his half-open shirt.

“What?”

Jungkook grinned at you and gave you two thumbs up. “Eyyy.”

Your jaw dropped, but before you could say anything else, you heard a sharp tapping at the driver’s seat window. Two pointed, dark brown eyes squinted at you, frowning. Oh. The person you were actually supposed to pick up. His upper lip upturned a bit, giving him a kitten-like pout.

“Why is there vomit on the passenger’s side and why is Jeon Jungkook passed out next to you?”

You started your car and rolled your window down, grimacing at Min Yoongi. He was wearing a black and navy bomber jacket, white shirt, and distressed black jeans. Ah, his hair was black again. You always told him he looked best in black hair. He raised an eyebrow at you.

“I left my doors unlocked for you and he just waltzed in.”

Yoongi looked past you. “He looks dead.”

You snapped your head back. “He was awake a sec–”

Jungkook was asleep, mouth open, half-slid down the passenger’s seat. Absolutely gone.

You heard Yoongi open the backseat door and slide in. He smelled like whiskey and his pale face was a bit pink, but he didn’t seem as drunk as Jungkook.

“Well, he lives in my building, so I guess we’ll just take him home,” Yoongi said absentmindedly.

You shot him a pained look. “Yoongi, why?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s the moral thing to do?”

You groaned and began to drive.

-

“You have to help me carry him.”

“I most certainly will not. He’s your friend.”

“You will.”

Five minutes later, you and Min Yoongi were dragging Jeon Jungkook’s dead weight up three flights of stairs, absolutely hating life, and wondering why you decided to wear your heeled black ankle boots today. Sure, they weren’t insanely high, but they weren’t the right shoes for the job. Plus, your flared red miniskirt and gray cropped long-sleeve weren’t helping either. Your shirt had a cat graphic on it that said, “go away,” with two middle fingers.

You felt it described you very well, actually.

Finally, after having made it to the metal door of Jungkook’s apartment, Yoongi crammed his hand into Jungkook’s tight pants’ pockets, feeling around.

“Key’s on your side.”

“I’m not touching him any more than necessary.”

Jungkook raised his head for a half-second, eyes barely open.

“Where’d the party go?” he mumbled and then dropped his head into your shoulder. His chiseled jaw cut into your flesh, alcohol-stained breath against your cheek.

“Save me from this hell, Yoongi.”

Yoongi chuckled deeply and reached around Jungkook’s waist. The back of his hand brushed against your hip and you flinched, eyes flickering to him. His pink lips curved into a crafty smirk. You rolled your eyes and waited as Yoongi yanked Jungkook’s keys out of his pocket, unlocking the door.

“Come on, Jungkook, step please,” Yoongi murmured softly, nudging Jungkook’s legs with his own. Jungkook groaned, head lolling.

“He’s dead,” you muttered as the two of you lugged him into the apartment. “Let’s leave and let the Grim Reaper find him.”

Yoongi ignored your complaining. He lowered himself, throwing Jungkook’s full weight on you. You grunted, extremely disgruntled, as you fell against the wall, using it as support. You had to hold Jungkook’s upper arms to keep him upright, squeezing his hard biceps. His hips hit you in the lower stomach. Ow. Yoongi closed the door and locked it, meandering on where to put the keys, settling on the hook next to the door.

“I’m going to be crushed to death. Is this guy made out of rocks or something?”

Yoongi continued to ignore you, crouching down to remove Jungkook’s shoes. You sighed loudly, staring up at the ceiling. If Jungkook wasn’t Yoongi’s friend, you probably would have pushed him into his own vomit and let the she-wolves have him.

Alright, no, you wouldn’t have, but you weren’t happy about these current events either.

You jumped as you felt Yoongi’s large hand encircle your left calf. You jerked your head down to see him staring up at you, raising an eyebrow. His fingertips kneaded your bare skin slowly. You narrowed your eyes at him and he reached for the zipper of your black boot, sliding it down. One first and then the other, hand holding your calf the entire time. Then Yoongi stood up, dark brown eyes observing you with a spark of amusement. You thinned your mouth into a line and abruptly kicked your shoes off in his direction. Yoongi dodged you easily, smirking.

Jungkook shivered and slumped, his shoulder blades hitting your sternum.

“Motherfuc–”

Yoongi laughed, pink gums flashing, and grabbed Jungkook by the armpit, hauling him up.

“Let’s get him to the bed.”

“I’m ready to chuck him to the floor,” you hissed, rubbing your chest ruefully.

Using the last of your patience, Yoongi and you managed to dump Jungkook onto his bed. Thankfully Jungkook’s apartment was tiny and somewhat clean, so you didn’t have to go very far. You sat on the edge of the bed, panting, as Yoongi calmly removed Jungkook’s blazer and tossed it aside. He gently slapped Jungkook’s face, and Jungkook made a noise like a dying duck.

“Hm, he’s pretty far gone.”

“No shit, you think?” You prodded the soft navy sheets of Jungkook’s bed. They were pretty nice. Maybe you could find the tag and write down the brand later.

Yoongi adjusted the taller man so he was on his side. He looked down at him, pursing his lips.

“We should stay for a bit. Make sure he doesn’t choke.”

You groaned, slapping the bed impatiently. “Who cares, Yoongi? He did this to himself!”

Yoongi smiled, walking around the bed towards you. Jungkook started to snore. Very loudly. His dark hair was curled around his forehead, his long lashes fluttering.

“See? He’s not dead.”

You stiffened as you felt Yoongi stand in front of you, his hand tracing your cheek to turn your head to face him. Your eyes shifted from Jungkook’s sleeping form to Yoongi’s sly smirk. His slightly rounded cheeks were still tinted pink.

“Shh, don’t complain. I’m here with you,” he said softly, caressing your cheek.

You narrowed your eyes at him. “You owe me.”

He leaned down, eyes shimmering with amusement. “That I do.”

And then he kissed you, inhaling your scent and tasting like whiskey. You sighed softly into his mouth, licking his soft lips and pressing back against him. You forgot how it started, really. Perhaps a passing touch? An accidental brush of his fingers against yours? His knee leaning against your thigh for a little too long? Your hand holding onto his shoulder to grab something, maybe a little too tightly? Soon it had become a game of cat and mouse, sneaking hints of each other in innocent public gatherings. Your clothed breasts pressing against his back, trying to squeeze past. His hand brushing against your hip, fingertips tracing the waistband of your pants.

It didn’t really have a name. You two just did it, relying on eye contact, seeing the reaction of the other, spurred on by more and more dangerous actions, upping the ante. Shorter and shorter skirts, his fingers touching your bare thigh, making you shiver.

Yoongi placed a hand on your thigh now, sliding it up. You slapped yours over it, drawing back a little from his intense kiss.

“We’re on Jungkook’s bed,” you breathed, cocking your head towards the sleeping male.

Jungkook snorted in his sleep.

Yoongi grinned. “So?” His dark eyes dangerous, so dangerous. “Bet you still want it.”

He pulled his hand out from under you and put them on your knees, eyes locked with yours. You gave him a warning glare but he spread your legs, lifting your knees up and back. You fell onto your elbows, gasping as he tilted his head, licking his lips as he viewed the wet spot of your red silk panties.

“You wore the nice ones today,” he observed. “Excited to see me?”

You stuck your tongue out at him. “Maybe I just like being pretty for myself.”

Yoongi smirked, getting onto the bed, crawling over you. “You’re already pretty. You don’t need clothes for that.”

Your felt your ears burn at the compliment. You reached up to pull his head down so he could kiss you again, hungry, deep kisses as he lifted your hips, pressing the wet spot on his bare thigh where a massive hole had been ripped in his jeans. You moaned softly, feeling him grind into your soaking pussy.

“I love those jeans,” you whispered, grinning.

Yoongi chuckled. “Me too.”

Snoring Jungkook rolled over and his leg smacked against your elbow.

Yoongi reached down and eased your panties to one side, pressing his thigh against your bare slit. You whimpered quietly, rocking your hips into his leg, stimulating your clit. He continued to kiss you, light, feathery kisses, playing with your tongue and lips, gently nipping at your skin.

“Don’t you feel nice?” Yoongi purred. “Doing something wrong?”

You smirked, wiggling your eyebrows. “Isn’t that what we always do?”

Yoongi kissed down your neck, humming. Your elbow rubbed against Jungkook’s leg as Yoongi began to suck on your flesh, making your back arch. His tongue licked at your hot skin and he blew on it, sending shivers down your spine. He slid down, removing his leg, and replaced it with his hand, pressing it into your wet heat. You gasped, sliding down, arm pressed against Jungkook’s muscular thigh and calf.

“I love the sounds you make,” Yoongi whispered, breath tickling your skin. “Music to my ears.”

He slid a finger into you.

“A-ah, Yoongi…” You clutched the sheets, catching a bit of Jungkook’s pants in your grip.

He thrust it in and out of you, slow, pushing your shirt and bra up. Licking your nipples lightly, watching you tilt your head back, eyes closed. He inserted another into your tight, wet hole, feeling you clench around them, sucking him in.

“So sexy,” he mumbled around your nipple, pushing it with his tongue. “So fuckable.”

You gasped as he increased the pace, simultaneously sucking on your nipple. The wrongness of it all made it even better, pleasure mounting fast as you felt your stomach tighten, so close, Yoongi knowing all the best spots to melt you. You breathed his name, pussy tightening as you came, soaking his fingers with your slick juices, humping his hand slightly.

He thrust into you a few more times, slowly, before sliding out and placing them in his mouth, sucking off your taste. He smirked.

“Turn over.”

You exhaled before trying to roll to your right. Yoongi stopped you.

“Other way.”

You frowned. “Jungkook’s there.”

Yoongi grinned mischievously.

“Yoongi…”

He licked his lips, purring your name. So sweet, so enticing.

You let out a puff of air and lifted yourself to your elbows. You turned your head, seeing Jungkook’s head flopped to the side, mouth open. The sharp line of his jaw, his pouty pink lips, his closed eyes. Still very not elegantly snoring away, and yet you noticed the way his dark hair curled around his forehead, his tiny ponytail mussed from being asleep.

“He likes you, you know,” Yoongi said.

You snorted. “He’s upset I’m not trying to make out with him so he’s trying to touch my lady bits.”

“Same thing.”

You turned your head back, seeing Yoongi shrug out of his bomber jacket. “Did you know he’s a virgin?”

Yoongi’s dark eyebrows raised. “Oh? Interesting.”

You shrugged. “Well, that’s what he said in my car anyway. I don’t know if it’s true.”

Yoongi chuckled. “It probably is. Jungkook’s sappy like that.” He waved a hand dismissively. “Needs to be the love of his life and stuff.”

You tilted your head at him. “And you?”

Yoongi smiled at you. “I don’t need that. I only need you.”

Your heart tightened in your chest. “Hah, right.”

Yoongi leaned forward, pressing his lips to your forehead. “You think I’m lying, but you know it’s true. I always have the most fun with you.”

You scrunched your face and felt Yoongi grab your shirt, yanking it and your bra over your head. You puffed your cheeks at his insistence, but Yoongi grabbed your breasts, rubbing his thumbs onto your hardened nipples. You moaned into his mouth, kissing him back, tongue against tongue, drinking him in. He nudged you to your left.

“Come on…”

You sighed against his lips. “Alright, alright, you bad boy.”

He smirked as you rolled over, careful not to touch Jungkook’s thighs and placing your hands on either side of his hips. Your knees ended up in between his, tightly together. Jungkook’s sheer shirt had eased out of his waist, abs peeking out from the bottom. You swallowed, feeling Yoongi moving behind you, grasping your panties and pulling down.

“You shouldn’t try to fu–”

Your words turned into a gasp as Yoongi’s tongue swiped up your dripping pussy, licking it all up. Your arms trembled, cries dying in your throat as you stared at asleep Jungkook, trying not to make any sound. Yoongi began to noisily eat you out, shoving his tongue inside you and scooping out your juices, his hands spreading your ass. Your shoulders dipped, hands spreading outwards. He slid down a little, finding your sensitive bundle of nerves and licking at it roughly.

“Yoongi, fuck,” you hissed, arching your back. His tongue was too good, so good you almost forgot you were positioned above dozing Jungkook’s dick and abs. Jungkook sighed, turning his head the other way and resuming his snoring. If Yoongi’s tongue wasn’t going to make you pass out, then you were definitely going to get a heart attack if Jungkook woke up in the middle of this.

Yoongi’s mouth latched around your clit and he sucked, hard. Your shaking hips rolled into his face, raspy breaths rattling your chest as you struggled to stay silent, feeling your pussy leaking onto his cheeks, so wet you could hear it behind you.

“Oh, fuck, fuck,” you hissed, sliding down, nipples brushing against Jungkook’s clothed thighs. “Fuck, Yoongi, I’m so fucking close…”

If Jungkook woke up now, you wouldn’t have noticed because pleasure raced up your nerves, intoxicating you, Yoongi’s expert tongue licking and sucking on your clit, so wet and wonderful and tight it was taking over you. Your hand lost balance and your righted yourself, planting it onto Jungkook’s abs. The contours of his muscle molded to your palm as your hand slid up, low moan leaving your lips as you came again, Yoongi opening his mouth and sucking it out of you. Your body shuddered, fucking his face as your rode out your orgasm, nails curling onto Jungkook’s chest.

Jungkook moaned in his sleep, breathy and deep.

The sound brought you back to reality and you jerked your hand away, startled at you were touching him. Yoongi lapped at your pussy leisurely before straightening. You turned your head to see his very self-satisfied expression.

“Looks like dream Jungkook liked that,” Yoongi smirked.

You shook your fist at him. “I touched him!” you whispered angrily.

Yoongi looked unbothered. “A tragedy.”

You pushed yourself off the bed and stepped towards him, legs tangled in your panties. You irritably kicked them off before poking Yoongi in the chest. Now you were only in your red skirt.

“What was that for, huh?” you whispered heatedly.

Yoongi grinned. “Fun.”

He took you by the waist and pulled you to him, kissing you deeply. Now you could taste yourself and the whiskey, sweet and bitter, mixed with Yoongi’s lust as he led you with him. He pushed you back onto the bed, kissing you eagerly, smiling, making you smile too because Yoongi was so much fun, so naughty, and you would never know it from his usual bored expression when he was out in public.

Yoongi undid his jeans as you reached into his back pocket for his wallet, squeezing his ass as you did so. You took the condom out, still kissing him, still licking his lips, unwrapping it. He pushed his clothes down, freeing his cock and you rolled the condom down, moaning as your felt his hard length in your hands.

“Right here?” you murmured against his lips.

“Fuck yes,” Yoongi drawled. “Right next to your favorite drunkard, Jeon Jungkook.”

You laughed. “Alright, he’s annoying, but he’s not a drunkard.”

Yoongi thrust into you and you whined in pleasure, raising your hips to meet him. A playful smirk danced on his lips as he began to roll his hips into you.

“He’s not, but he is today and so I’m going to take advantage of it,” he panted, fucking you nice and slow and perfect, making sure to stretch you out, filling every part of you with his cock.

“Ah, Yoongi, you’re so good,” you gasped, tightening around him, heightening the pleasure. “Such a nice dick.”

He grinned wickedly. “Excuse me, I think you mean the best dick you’ve ever had.”

You smiled back, meeting his hips, slapping them together and making a deliciously sloppy wet smack. “You’re right, the best dick I’ve ever had.”

Jungkook rolled over a bit, exhaling serenely.

Yoongi dipped his head against your ear, moaning softly as he increased the pace, fucking you hard into Jungkook’s bed. “Think he can hear us?”

You chuckled. “You want him to hear us.”

“No,” Yoongi replied, far too mischievously to mean it. “But maybe he should, because your pussy sounds sexy as fuck.”

You sucked in a breath as Yoongi pounded you, falling back a little so your tits bounced. Yoongi’s dark eyes flickered down to you, sparkling with appreciation as you bit your lip, flicking and pulling on your nipples lightly, heightening the pleasure.

“I’m close,” he groaned. “Squeeze me harder.”

You did, tightening your core and he threw his head back, moaning silently as his hips slammed into yours, once, twice, and he came, loud smack of your hips meeting and his cock throbbing into your walls, spurting his cum into the condom and making it swell inside you. You exhaled hotly upwards, tipping your head back, Yoongi’s name drifting out of your lips in bliss.

He just felt so good.

It might not have a name, but it didn’t need one, because Yoongi’s eyes found yours and there was only ecstasy, perfect, lovely, wicked ecstasy of the mighty who had already fallen.

-

Jungkook woke up immensely groggily, head pounding, his sense of space and time completely and utterly fucked.

But he wasn’t dead, so… yay?

He frowned and rolled over. He was in a soft place. A bed. He breathed in deep. His bed. Nice. But he smelled something else. Jungkook squinted. He could see someone. He touched his chest, finding his shirt still on, barely. He still had his pants on. Oh, good. He didn’t accidentally lose his virginity in a drunken stupor.

He recognized that large pale hand. Jungkook frowned again, squinting harder. Yoongi-hyung? But the hand was over a pair of soft breasts, squeezing them together.

“N-noona?” Jungkook croaked.

You reached over and placed a hand over Jungkook’s eyes.

“Go back to sleep, Jungkook. You need to sleep.”

That’s true. Jungkook did need to sleep. This was probably just a dream anyway. No way Yoongi-hyung and noona were naked in his bed, tangled in his blankets. That would be nuts. Totally crazy. Jungkook drifted back into slumber, softly snoozing away.

-

second act. dreaming in reality a–dick–ted au

--

masterpost

extended playlist where did the party go by fall out boy the mighty fall by fall out boy

[bandgeek4life8]

Guardians - chapter two the lost city of atlantis

Chapter 1

WC: 3, 453

Season 1, Episode 2: The Lost City of Atlantis

Previously on Guardian in Jim's POV "The Nightmares have emerged once more." Pabbie told everyone.

"GREAT GRONKA MORKA!!" Blinky exclaimed.

"And they attend to assimilate an army. They already have the witch Gothel, the bogeyman Pitch Black, the dragon tamer Drago Bludvist with his mother of dragons Red Death, the prince Hans of Southern Isles and Duke of Weselton, the cursed bear Mor'du, the Pirate "Captain Hook" Killian James, and the Boggan Mandrake. And I have a list of who they want. From my visions. But only two people I wish to say it to: Vendel and... James Lake Jr. Because she wishes it."

"Who wishes for me to know?" I asked him.

"Starling."

Some people are chosen for this life and have no choice but to accept its transgressions. Others spend their life completely in the dark about this life we lead. Some, like me, choose to live this life. It is a lot of work for anybody. Not just anybody can get into this life and survive its trials and tribulations. But we were born for this. To become guardians. But I'm not a guardian yet. I'm just an apprentice.

|{[INSERT_OPENING_SEQUENCE]}|

"Welcome to the first meeting of the Druidia Order." I announced.

"Did you have to name us after a planet in your favorite Star Wars movie?" asked the raven-haired time-traveller Wilbur Robinson.

"Spaceballs is not a Star Wars movie, Wilbur." Currently undercover spy, Walter Beckett told him.

Wilbur rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

"Did your dad teach you anything about Star Wars?" asked blonde enpath/ hockey-player from Wisconsin, Riley Anderson.

"Only that he hated the sequels, he loves the originals, and respects what the prequels tried to do." Wilbur said.

"Can we please get to the topic at hand please?" I asked everyone.

Everyone in the room grumbled out a yes and we continued with the precedings. Wow. That sounds way too formal for me.

"Well what can we do? We already made allies with the Arendelle trolls via Elsa and Anna. We had Grand Pabbie alert the Trollhunter of the Nightmares." said Ted Wiggins.

"Which means a group of you have to go find the essence stones." Megamind appeared with a plate of, "who wants cookies?"

"Are you growing soft on us, Meg?" Megamind basically growled at Wilbur for the nickname he used.

"I am trying to babysit Gru's oldest daughter and her friends." Megamind told him looking the kid dead in the eye.

"What do you know of the essence stones?" I asked him, ignoring the intense staredown happening between the two makes.

Megamind turned his attention away from Wilbur only for the time-traveller to blow a raspberry at him and Megamind to turn back and glare at him I rolled my eyes. The same old stupid antics. "I know where you can find the essence stone of the ocean."

"If you tell me we have to befriend Poseidon or-."

"It's in Atlantis." Megamind said.

"Or that." I facepalmed. "And how would you know that?"

"Because I have an evil underwater lair in the city of Atlantis." Cue another facepalm from me.

"And why...? You know what? I don't want to know. So how are we getting there?" I asked.

"It's not a matter of how we, but rather how who is getting there." Megamind said.

"That makes no sense whatsoever, dude." Hiro said as he walked into the room followed by Lucy Tuchi.

"Some of us will go on the mission while the rest research the rest of the essence stones." Megamind suggested.

"You know... your ideas are normally terrible. But this one is actually a good idea." Wilbur told him.

The alien growled. "Easy now, Megamind. When we heading out? And who is coming along for the ride?"

"You, Rayla, Ezran, Callum, Sisu, Hiccup, Jack, Light Furry, Walter, and Toothless." Megamind told us. "And you will leave tomorrow. After school."

"Alright. Before we do anymore planning, I need pizza." I walked over to where Hiro plopped the pizza on.

|{[INSERT_COMMERCIAL HERE]}| "

I cannot believe he has the audacity for this! He knows we're not on the best of terms, and yet he does this." I sighed.

"I'm sure he has a reason." said Hiro.

"It's Megamind. It's a stupid-ass reason." I told him.

Hiro sighed. "But you miss hanging out with Toby and Jim. And you-."

"Don't even finish that sentence. I know what you were going to say." Hiro gapped at me. "I know what you were going to say. Only three people know it. And one betrayed me."

My phone vibrated in my hoodie's pocket and I opened it up to see a text from my grandmother, Margaret. "Is that Marge? What she said?"

"She's wondering about the you-know-what with the you-know-who." I told him. She wants to know about James Lake Jr being the Trollhunter. Grandpa would not be pleased with this anyway. But he's dead. And he doesn't matter.

"You have gym next block right?" I groaned. Of course I forgot. And why of all days did we have to do the Pacer test today!

"And we're doing the pacer test today too!" I would have banged my head on a locker if we weren't coming from History. "Kill me now! Woe is me!"

"Stop being overdramatic. And I'm off my way to Robotics." Hiro said once we got to the hall where we would part ways.

"Don't take over the world of robotics without your team first." I called out to gim.

"Yeah, yeah. Just focus on making chemistry after gym, but preferably during." the smart-ass called back.

I'm gonna kill him one of these days. Just you wait, Hiro Hamada. I grumbled and continued on my way to the ends of the earth. Also known as gym. Because I lack the athletic ability of a worm. My arms are basically noodles before submerged in H20. I got dressed in my PE clothes and walked outside to the bleachers where I plopped myself down on. Gym. The one class I don't have my safety net to catch me. The one block where I feel alone. Completely and helplessly alone.

"Hey, [Y/N]. Mind if we sit here?" asked Toby.

It was just him and Jim. What on Earth are they up to? I scooted some ways away from my spot and patted the spot beside me. Jim took the spot beside me while Toby took the bench in front of us.

"We haven't hung out just the three of us in awhile, huh?" Toby remarked.

"You both seem busy since the semester started. I can't blame you for that one."  I told them. The pair shrugged at me, but it was a lying shrug. I would know. I do the same ones. "Anyway, what are we doing for our History Project, Jamie?" I looked over at him.

"I don't know. Wanna brainstorm some ideas after school?" Jim asked me.

"Can't. I have a family thing." Lying to them has gotten harder since I found out. Hopefully they don't catch. But they're idiots. They won't catch on... I hope. "I can come over tomorrow after school if you want."

"That... Th-th-th-that'll be gr-gr-gr-great." What's with the stammer? It's weird. "Oh, don't forget about Pig Zombies on Saturday."

"Don't worry. I have it all set in my calendar. So, what time is the movie?" I asked them.

Toby and Jim shared a look. Oh that is never good. "We don't actually know."

"Then, what are we going to do about Saturday?" I asked them.

"We're more of idea men." Like they're any close to being men. "Creating a plan is someone else's problem." Of course.

"You two haven't changed at all, have you? I'll get to work on that sometime this evening. You guys still have email, righr?" I asked them.

"Who still uses e-mail anymore?" Toby inquired.

"Good point. I'll just have Lucy drive us to the theater anyway." I replied. "So, how are you and Claire going, Jamie?"

"O-o-o-oh, m-m-me and Claire?" stammered Jim. That's strange.

"Yes, you and Claire. You two are dating, aren't you?" I asked him.

"Oh, y-y-yeah. We're g-g-g-good." Hmm. Peculiar. But Jim's always been like this when pertaining to Claire. Nothing suspicious about that.

I hope.

|{[INSERT_COMMERCIAL_HERE]}|

Jim

"So, you have a study date with [Y/N] tomorrow huh?" Claire teased me while we walked to Blinky's library.

"What-. Wait! You told her!" I exclaimed to Toby who was on my left side.

"Of course, I did. Dude, you've been hopelessly obliviously in love with this girl since she stole your first kiss on the monkey bars when we were nine. And she-."

"She clearly has feelings for you, but she's not gonna act upon them since you know we're fake dating and all that jazz." Claire said.

I sighed. "You're the smart one. Couldn't you have come up with something... um... better?"

"What? Because a wuss like you was going to ask her out if I didn't say we were dating?" Claire asked him, raising an eyebrow at her friend.

I sighed once more. She clearly had a point. And Tobes seemed to catch it too. "He tried to ask her if she wanted to go see Pig Zombie 6 for her sixteenth birthday, but dragged me along with them because he wussed out of calling it a date."

Claire tapped her chin in thought. I do not understand girls. Then, she did the thing where you smack your fist against your hand in an aha! idea moment. Which is what transpired next. "I have a perfect idea for your movie date on Saturday."

"Am I going to regret this?" I asked her.

"I hope not. I'm helping you whether you want me to or not." Yea me! Internal frown.

We made it Blinky's library in which the four arm troll was talking animatedly to Vendell. About Essence Stones? What the fuzz buckets are those?

"Um, what are the Essence Stones?" I piped up.

"The Essence Stones are the only thing that can combat the Oncoming Storm." Vendel explained.

"Which is why we should be looking for them! We already know where one is! The Sea Stone!" Blinky told him.

"I already told you the Starling has this under control. This is her fight. Not ours. We shouldn't-."

"But then why have Pabbie tell us about the resurgence anyways?!" Blinky cut him off. I don't think Blinky has ever interrupted Vendel before. This is a first.

"Because to warn us of an even greater danger, Blinkous!! One that we have to face on our own! As Trolls!" the elder roared.

I never saw a look of fear as intense as the look that crossed Blinky's face when Vendel told him that. A greater danger? Even Aaarrrggghh! and Draal had the same look as Blinky. What did it all mean? Vendel left the library.

"I don't care what the goat says. We're getting the Sea Stone." Blinky told us.

"And how do we acquire it?" asked Claire.

"Hate Gyre." Aaarrrgghh! cried. Oh.

"And where would we find the Sea Stone?" Toby asked. "It's underwater right? And we can't breathe in water? So is it in an aquarium? Washed up on a beach?"

"I'll tell you where when we get to the Gyre." Claire, Toby, and I shared a look before shrugging our shoulders and following Blinky to the Gyre.

When we got there, we reached the Gyre and hopped in. "So, where are we going?"

"Under the sea. In an underwater palace where there is no water inside located in what you humans refer to as The Bermuda Triangle. Get ready for Atlantis." And before the three of us could protest, Blinky put in the coordinates and we zipped off towards... did he really say Atlantis? And the Bermuda Triangle?

But I didn't have time to question it as we arrived in a palace? And our clothes were soaking wet. But we never submerged in water? You know what? I shouldn't question it. Me and my friends huddled for warmth. It'll be awhile before we're dry. But why isn't- you know what? Never mind. I don't care.

"Okay, so where do we go first?" asked Toby.

"We head for the treasure room. The Jewel of Atlantis is the Sea Stone." Blinky told us.

"Why are we wet, but you aren't?" asked Claire.

"No clue." Blinky shrugged his shoulders.

The three of us grumbled but followed after Blinky with Aaarrrgghh! and Draal taking the rear. This is going to be a long evening. Our little group trudged, our squeaky footprints giving our location to anyone who would be here. And I think someone was here. Because a familiar ball of silver and blue was charging at us. Not us. Me. Followed by a march larger greenish-blue dragon.

"Hi, Azymondias." I said to the baby dragon when he jumped into my arms.

"I see you humans have already met the Prince. Starling's Zym seems to like you Mr Lake." the green-ish blue dragon said. Um... do dragons normally...

"YOU TALK?!?!" Thanks for that, Tobes.

"Of course, I do. I'm Sisu. Starling sent me after Little Azymondias to make sure he stayed out of trouble." Why aren't Blinky, Aarrrgghh!, and Draal freaking out about there being another dragon? And the elf being here?

"You six, now-seven, looking for the Treasure Room?" asked Sisu.

I shivered as a breeze went by. Why was there a breeze? We're in a dry castle underwater! This is just too weird.

"We were headed that way right now!" Blinky told the dragon.

Azymondias coughed. Or sneezed? I don't know. But he zapped me and I yelped and I'm... dry? Well alot dryer than before. Uh, thank you. Living dryer thay could kill me at any given moment. But you're still cute. So you're forgiven if you do.

"Well I wouldn't go that way! That's where Meg put his evil lair at." Sisu told us.

"Lair?" "Meg?"

"Meg is what the time-traveler calls Megamind. And he placed a lair here when he was going through his 'evil' phase." I did not know Dragons did air quotes.

"Time Traveler? Like the Doctor? Or Loki?" askes Toby.

"Looks like a mix of Matt Smith and Loki as a tween with too much hair gel. Alright, kids follow me." Sisu told us.

Zym appeared on my shoulder, wrapping his small body around on my shoulder and we followed the hopping dragon towards the treasure room. We had reached the treasure room, avoiding all the traps (that was on the ceiling for some strange reason). We arrived there. And Sisu peered inside before letting us enter. Strange.

But I couldn't help peering over Sisu's sboulder "Are you really angry that the Trollhunter keeps unknowingly stealing your pet?" That sounded like... no it can't be.

"Azymondias is not my pet. My pet sounds like I chose to take care of him. The bundle of zappy madness chose me to take care of him. So if anything, I'm his pet." Please tell me that's not who I think it is. But the-I'm guessing- Startouch Elf looks nothing like her. Not one bit. Well maybe except for the nose. And the eyes.

"You make absolutely no sense. And yet you love him anyway." the other voice said. A male with slick-back hair. This must be the time-traveler Wow. Sisu was spot on.

"Kids, easy now. We wouldn't want this to get into the wrong hands. Not this close to the Cotillion." A brunette male that appeared to be the oldest of the group. Why does he look so familiar to me?

"I have a question for you, pig snout. Meg said you wouldn't be here. Why the hell are you here? And why are you even here?" the elf asked.

"I stowed away because none of you are smart." the time-traveller said.

"Says the royal dumbass." the female elf sighed. "I'm so young and yet I feel so old." she emphasized. I was half expecting her to do a dramatic fall like they always seem to do in soap operas notthatIwatchsoapoperasinthefirstplacethat'sabsurd.

"I already knew that, dumbass." time-traveler said.

"Go on, Trollhunter." Sisu used her tail to push me toward the elf's group to retrieve the essence stone. "Introduce yourself."

And suddenly I stumbled upon the room making the group's attention turn to me. "Um...hi." Cue the awkward wave. "I'm... James Lake Jr? I'm the... Trollhunter." I held out the Amulet of Merlin. I could practically sense Toby and Claire facepalming at this.

"Starling, I think this one is for you to handle." I now noticed the brunette boy that stood beside the other elf. Is that... Callum Schlott?? Um... I hope if that is him, he doesn't tell [Y/N] about this.

"I am the one they refer to as Starling as you must know. And we don't need you here. To help us." The girl's hand were running up and down a strand of her waist length periwinkle hair. [Y/N] did the same thing when she had long hair. Not the time Jim.

"I think we do. Because the Seastone is missing if you've forgotten." the other elf said. She sounds like Rayla. And sort of looks like her too.

"THE SEASTONE IS GONE!?!?!?" Blinky exclaimed.

"Unfortunately so. Now, one advantage turns out to be a setback." I didn't notice the other brunette who had a black dragon that was acting like a cat by his feet.

"Do you have any leads?" asked Claire as she stepped forward.

"Just a Roman Penny. No clue from where though." Starling told us. "Now, I think it's time you kids return to California. Don'tyouthink."

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"So Atlantis was a flopp?" I had already told Draal about the whole atlantis situation.

Luckily mom had another night shift at the hospital, so Draal could walk around freely while I made dinner for myself. Elbow Pasta and Meat Sauce it appears to be.

"Yes, it was, Draal." I turned the TV on and started flipping through the channels to find the one I wanted. "At least, I met Starling. She was not what I was expecting."

"Most elves aren't. You humans expect them to be small and cute because of the Claus, but they aren't." Draal told me.

"Actually, I think," I found what I was looking for. The French food competition show the World's Greatest Chef Competiton. "she was the exact opposite of what all of you were saying. Sure she was a tad harsh to us, but I think she didn't want to involve us in the Essence Stones. Like she didn't want anymore added help. I don't know." A knock sounded on the door.

"Were you expecting anyone?" asked Draal.

"Not that I know. Toby and Claire wouldn't knock. They'll just barge on in." I told him.

And before I got to the door, the door opened to reveal a boy with white hair, incredibly pale skin wearing a blue sweatshirt and brown trousers. "Don't be such a pussy, Hiccup." That was Sisu.

"Yeah, we're only here since Zym wants the trollhunter to be his dragon rider and to train him how to combat magic." white hair said.

"Um... what are you doing at my house?" I asked them as I held my wooden spoon in my hand, ready to strike them if necessary.

"You and Punzie would be great friends, squirt." The platinum blonde ruffled my brown hair to make it messy. My hair now looks like the dragon boy's hair.

"We're here to train you. I'm Hiccup. And this is Jack. Jack Frost." Wait. What? I'm lost. "I live over in Berk Manor. And you have wandered in a den where you cannot get out of." the brunnette introduced.

"Which is why Starling didn't want you to get involved. By trying to help us with the Seastone, you and your friends have put a target on your back. Starling didn't want that. But now we have to help you. To train you. Hiccup here is a Dragon Rider. And even though Azymondias isn't big enough to be ridden. He will be. I suspect sooner than you think, so he's going to train you to ride him. And I and many others are going come here to help you train against magic. Since the people who will come after you to kill you will have magic." Jack Frost told me. Now I'm really lost.

"So let's begin."

@trollhuntersfanatic