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#other person.... not that i'm struggling or need help or anything like that
genericpuff · 7 hours
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i had a post in the works talking about some of my personal life shit and the things i'm looking to do with rekindled this year to help make personal life shit easier aaand then i fell asleep for a nap and when i woke up Rachel announced that LO was ending in less than 10 episodes ??
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sooo yeah i'm officially saving that post for later, because LO is officially ending, with an actual end date. It does mean that it's not ending at the start of Spring like my initial prediction, which is a bummer (because that would have been really cool LMAOOO) but it does mean it gets to go on long enough to resolve the current plot arc. As for every other plotline in the story... yeah, those aren't getting wrapped up, at least not in any way that could be satisfying.
For over the last year LO has been a series of "wait seriously???" and this is yet another, though it's kind of different this time. We knew the end was coming and practically begging for Rachel to pick an end date because for many, following along with this comic has become a Sisyphean task week after week. It's bittersweet in a way, but . . . I also kinda don't feel anything? Maybe it's just my 'tism, maybe it's just the fact that I'm so tired of following this series, but I just... don't feel joy, but I don't feel dread. It's ending and that's that. As all things come and go in life, some day there won't be any more LO, and that day is May 11th.
I will miss the weekly readalongs that I would do with pals, the memes we'd make out of the new material, but I don't think I'm going to miss the comic and everything it said and did. At this point reading LO feels like watching a horse struggle to breathe and you're just begging the farmer to put it out of its misery, but the farmer thinks "No no, it'll be fine! It'll get back up in no time!" and it's like... no, it desperately needs to be put to rest 💀
I still have my two drafts stowed away, both on opposing sides of the fence depending on how LO turns out-
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-and now we finally have an end date on when those essays will be written.
I don't know how I feel yet about it ending. These are complicated feelings to sort through regarding a comic that's basically been my life for the last few years, even before I turned into a critic of it. I'm just glad there's a light at the end of the tunnel. And I'm glad even my "love to hate it" energy has been waning on it the past few weeks anyways so that the end of it all can feel as painless as possible LOL Don't get me wrong, there will still be plenty to discuss after the comic, I don't think the antiLO/ULO community will just disappear into a puff of smoke as soon as LO is over, but I think a lot of us are also equally relieved that the comic made it this easy to stop reading and that it now has an end point.
And most of all, I'm hoping that whatever ending the comic brings, even if it just winds up being the S2 finale all over again for the critics, is still satisfying for the fans who have stuck around with it this long. The people who have loved this comic through it all at least deserve a proper send-off and I really hope Rachel gives it to them.
As for me... I'm not going anywhere, but it's been nice to stuff the overflowing clothes of LO back into its drawer within my brain. I want to make room for other drawers, other things, other pieces of work that will undoubtedly bring me more joy and entertainment. I don't know what yet, but it's nice to know the drawers aren't overflowing anymore.
And that's all I'm gonna say on that.
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stephaniebrownslover · 17 hours
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★彡[!TICCIWORK+NINAKATE DOUBLE DATE ONESHOT!]彡★
So @crushedsweets and @necroromantics tricked me into writing this. It's bad so don't have any expectations alright. And not exactly a date scene, kinda?
Also I tried to do some research about Toby's tics but I didn't understand how to write them. If how badly written his tics makes you feel bad, please let me know and help me with fixing it!
There's nothing special about this, just a simple, light-hearted fluff, no warnings! Swearing maybe?
And meeting part is soooo sloopy I'm gonna cry and sorry for everything
V●ω●V—V●ω●V—V●ω●V—V●ω●V—V●ω●V
"C'mon, babe! It'll be fun!"
Nina could hardly stop herself from wrapping her arms around Kate's body as Nina cheerfully clapped her hands in the air. She knew that Kate wouldn't say anything to her even though she wasn't used to being touched, but she was still trying to learn not to hug her every second.
What, she was going to have a girlfriend who was worthy for planets and she wouldn't let her know how much she cared about her every second?
Bullshit!
"Not that I don't trust you but you sure?"
"Yeah! You already know Tobes and you'll just looove Clocky."
Kate took a deep breath as Nina cheerfully extended the word; she had tried her best to turn the tense expression on her lips into a smile, and Nina was struggling not to kiss her on the lips right there, right now. Kate was a wonderful person.
"...Alright."
Kate was a wonderful person, indeed.
After all, Kate had put aside her social awkwardness just for her and agreed to go on a double date with Nina's two favorite friends who happened to be her favorite couple!
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
The girl with purple and black hair throw her arms around the neck of the girl with messy black hair, fearing that she would experience an explosion of love if she controlled herself more. 
"You're... cute when you, um, when, uh-"
Nina waited for her to finish her speech, looking into Kate's eyes with her own eyes, shining with joy.
"...Nevermind."
After giggling slightly, she did not neglect to plant a small kiss on Kate's cheeks.
"You're sooo cute when you're embarrassed."
"I'm not!"
Kate felt her heart tighten under the sweet expression of her lover, who gave her a puppy dog stare while trying to wipe the strawberry lipstick that formed on her cheek reflexively.
"Embarrassed..."
While Kate was talking, she gently pulled her hand away from her cheek. At the same time, Nina was admiring her precious treasure, which she valued more than anything. The way Kate's voice gradually became a whisper was so cute that she could feel her heart was going to explode.
"Whatever you say."
"Really."
Not taking the defiant gaze seriously, Nina waved her hand in the air, which had lesser bracelet compared to other.
"Believe you."
"You don't."
"Okay, okay."
After Nina didn't say anything for a while, she slowly decided to calm down Kate, who was caught up in a tsunami of thoughts in her own mind. Of course, Kate knew the other people who stayed in the forest, but she got really nervous in such situations, since she had never met anyone except Toby and Nina before, other than proxies. And that was so cute!
Kate, was like a highschooler waiting to be invited to the prom!
Sure, there was a very serious and heartbreaking truth behind this, but Nina was trying not to let Kate know that she was upset for her by looking at the positive side of the situation. Because she knew crying or pitying her would do neither of them any good.
"Actually, there are some things we should do."
Kate raised one eyebrow in the air with an inquiring expression.
"Like following them?"
"No, not like- why though?"
"To talk something."
While Kate tilted her head slightly forward, Nina reached out and held her hands to give her courage.
"That's very smart, too. But I mean other than that."
''Oh."
Nina raised her hands in the air, which were together with Kate's, as she spoke cheerfully.
"We need to go shopping. And we should buy something for the cutey couple. And I have to see the place, maybe do some decoration if necessary. Oh, also I need to do something cute but embarrassing for them and-!"
Kate didn't let her talk any more, she leaned Nina into her lap with a perfect move, which she used an extra effort while holding her because of Nina's imbalance.
And accompanied by autumn leaves falling from the trees, she kissed her girlfriend on the lips.
"Uh, hi, babe."
Nina didn't quite know what to say as she left the kiss.
She could have sworn her legs were shaking as Kate put her safely on her feet. Kate made a move to put on her mask and leave the forest. All this romance was too much for her.
Still, ignoring the voices telling her to walk, she turned around and checked on Nina.
"Comin'?"
"Um, yeah!"
Pausing, Nina came to Kate with a sudden run and took her hand. 
"So, we also need to buy you new clothes-"
While Nina was starting to talk cheerfully, she suddenly felt the need to put her empty hand to her mouth and apologize.
"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! I love your style but it's just-"
"Get you, no worry."
Kate slightly increased the squeeze on Nina's hand to reassure, and then reinstated it again.
"You're the best! Maybe we can buy couple t-shirts, too! And Megadeth stuff, I guess. I know you like them."
Kate was lucky to have her mask on.
And she was the luckiest person in the world to have such a girlfriend.
✾✾✾
"So, yeah."
Clockwork straightened up on the sofa where she and her boyfriend Toby were sitting, and joined arms. While talking normally, she was literally shocked when Toby suddenly told her that she and Nina and Kate were going out on a double date two days later.
"The fuck did ya' get us in?"
While raising one eyebrow in the air, Toby also moved to a proper sitting position, both excited and nervous. Although it was too difficult for him to make eye contact, he looked at Clockwork's right eye. He was careful not to look at her clock, since he could het distracted easily by the movements of the clock.
"Dunno, she-she was making the eyes and- and I... it happened, o-okay!"
Clockwork took a deep breath with an exasperated attitude.
"How the hell did you survive 'til this time?"
Toby tried to put on a cool expression with a big smile, but failed.
"I'm that cool."
"You're that dumb."
He waited hesitatingly while he held out his girlfriend's hands to take his. When he did not take a negative attitude from her, he took her hands in his own palms. He knew that she didn't like to be touched suddenly because of her past, so he was showing lots of effort in order to avoid hurting her.
"C-come on, Clocky, just come f-for me!"
"Know what? Screw it-"
As Clockwork took a deep breath again, she decided to give her approval to this meeting idea. After all, although Toby would ask her for many things for his entertainment, there would be very few things that he would actually ask her to do. Besides, she could already get along with Nina, and it wouldn't be bad if she met Kate, whom Toby often talks about.
"Please, p-please, please-"
"Let me finish, asshole."
Toby was already in the begging position.
"Oh, sorry sweetie."
"Don't call me sweetie."
Clockwork hadn't said that to seem rude, she just didn't like being called by an affectionate nickname, and she knew Toby was doing it to annoy her. It wasn't that she was really angry or anything, she was just making Toby realize once again how stupid and cute he was.
"I'll come but-"
Unable to hold himself any longer, Toby jumped out of the coach into the air, reflecting on the exact meaning of the word excitement, and joyfully shook his fists in a sign of victory. Then he joyfully held out his hand to take Clockwork's hands and rotate them.
"You're the best! Love ya'!"
"Fuck you, Toby!"
Clockwork certainly didn't like being interrupted in the middle of something important, and this case was no exception.
"Sorry sorry."
A devilish smile formed on Clockwork's lips as Toby instantly apologized.
Oh, how innocent and pure he was.
"I'll come only if you agree on that butterfly tattoo."
"Done!"
Her evil smile turned to a surprised feature when she saw that Toby had so easily accepted getting a butterfly tattoo on his waist area to make fun of, which had been a matter of discussion for months. This tattoo thing was a conversation that had been going on between them for months, and even though Toby found tattoos cool, he refused this offer since he didn't want to do something ridiculous.
"What kind of a speel she put you on?"
Toby leaned his head forward in a slightly embarrassed attitude. Every time he would talk about his past, he would do this.
"I-it's just, just I never had a co-cool girlfriend and real frien-ds and I want them to li-ke-ke each other so."
She could feel an anger beginning to bubble up inside her. She didn't like anything Toby had experienced in his past, and she hated everyone, especially his father, except his older sister and his mother. Toby didn't deserve for anything he went through as a child to happen to him.
She knew she couldn't undo the past, but now was in her hands, and she wasn't going to let anyone treat him like that again.
"D-don't know, just ram-ramblin'."
When he realized Toby was also uncomfortable with this topic, she changed the subject.
"Just promise me you'll don't say how 'awesome' I am in every two seconds."
She loved the way Toby's eyes shone like a puppy dog's. She could have given up almost anything for this view.
"Does t-that mean no butter-flies?"
"Nah, that's settled."
Almost.
"I had a h-hard child-hood and I was always-ways afraid of need-les because of-"
"Don't push your luck, kiddo."
When Toby started smiling, she realized that he was teasing her just to get away from the tattoo, and she decided to put a stop to it.
"Finee."
When Toby extended the word and saw that there was silence, he put a big smile on his face.
"Ever told ya' I love ya'?"
"We need to go shopping now."
Clockwork suddenly got up from the sofa and pointed to the door of the room where they were sitting.
"Why?"
Toby looked at the place she was pointing with a meaningless expression.
"To buy them a gift and normal clothes for you."
He suddenly put her hands on his chest with an expression as if he was betrayed.
"Hold o-on, what's wrong with my clot-hes?"
"All are muddy or blood stained."
"...Fair e-enough."
He had spoken in such a hoarse voice that it was almost certain Clockwork had not heard him.
He sometimes underestimated his lover's perfectly sharp ears too much.
"Let's go then."
When Clockwork pointed to the door again, Toby raised one eyebrow in surprise.
"Now?"
"Now."
He suddenly directed his gaze to his feet.
"Aw, man. That's suck."
Clockwork was content to just shrug.
"Your fault."
Toby said nothing, only came closer to Clockwork, who was waiting for him to leave the living room, and together they made their way to the bathroom of the cottage to make preparations for landing in the city.
They weren't holding hands, but the fact that their shoulders were touching was good enough for both of them.
✾✾✾
"Alright, so which one would you prefer?"
Nina held up the crop shirts she was holding, which had two different style cuts, one completely black and one completely pink; and because she was indecisive, she was asking Kate which one was more beautiful.
Kate, who wanted to finish shopping and go home as soon as possible, was disturbed by the brightness of the store's fluorescent lights and the noise of a pop song playing in the background. She leaned forward, bringing her back to a hunched position on the soft stool in which she was sitting. Fashion was definitely not her specialty, and she was surprised every time that Nina had such an impressive style.
"Both?"
"Aww, sweetheart, I'd love to buy both for myself but you know, I'm still paying for Christmas gifts."
After Nina made a noise like she was watching a kitten, Kate decided she didn't want to disappoint her. She couldn't do it reven if she wanted to anyway, she only felt that way because she wasn't used to get so much love.
She ran her fingers around the clothes rack behind her for a while, looking at the crops with a sensitivity that would hurt if she touched them, trying to choose the one that reminded her Nina most.
"Hmm, maybe... this one?"
There was a pretty cute butterfly pattern on the purple crop top she held. Instead of childish butterflies, this one was a stylish butterfly that could have been more of a music band's album cover, Nina's eyes literally lit up when she noticed the elegance of the outfit in her girlfriend's hand.
"Oh my god, you're a genius, Kate!"
Since Nina took the cloth from Kate's hands without thinking, Kate's efforts to look at the price tag were interrupted.
"Nina-"
"What? Something wrong?"
Not understanding why Kate was uneasy, Nina shook her head from side to side, had officially forgotten about her surroundings due to the excitement provided by a beautiful piece. Even though she had a ton of clothes in her closet.
"... No."
"That's like the best thing I've ever seen and I'll buy this one no matter what. But, let's check the price first!"
After grasping something through the outfit with her long nails, Kate quickly realized that the real smile on her face had been replaced by a fake one.
Nina spoke in a slightly trembling tone of voice.
"Kate, dear, you really want this one?"
"That's okay."
Kate didn't want her to but something so expensive, she would have liked to give it to her girlfriend as a gift, but she had no money left since she had invested all her money in some games and CDs last month. 
Although she was trying to make a mental note of stopping by the store at midnight, she had a bad headache because of the brightness which prevented her from thinking.
Kate grimaced with a sudden headache, but Nina misinterpreted her expression and bowed down in front of Kate, thinking that she had upset her.
"No, no, no, don't do that face, my baby. Please, I'll get it, okay?"
"Don't buy it. It was just a rec."
It wasn't easy for her to speak when she was trying to massage her aching head with her fingers.
"But you liked it! We got everything you wanted and this is not an exception."
"But..."
Kate had realized what a misunderstanding there had been, and she wanted Nina to know this, and stop her from buying it. Nevertheless, Nina thought that she would tell her not to buy it again because of her previous sentence. That's why she tried to soften the atmosphere with a joke.
"No. If you liked it, everyone'll literally fall in love with me."
"Toby?"
Nina, who thought the question was whether Toby's falling in love with her or not, eagerly replied.
"Yes, even Toby."
Stopping to question what kind of misunderstanding she had fallen into, Kate raised one of her bony fingers and pointed to a person at the entrance of the store. He was not wearing his usual glasses and had used an ordinary surgical mask instead of his classic mask to hide the wound on his cheek.
"No, Toby."
When Nina looked at the place where Kate's finger was pointing, her eyes grew wide with surprise.
"Toby? Is that Clocky?"
When she confirmed that the two people talking to each other were Clocky and Toby, she grabbed Kate's hand and pulled her to her feet.
"Let's go."
Toby was holding a children's t-shirt with dinosaurs in his hand at the time, the size of the t-shirt oddly matched Clockwork, but the model was so ridiculous and babyish that Clockwork got angry. It wasn't a real anger, it was more like she was annoyed.
"Oh, don't threaten me with that shirt, bastard. You know damn well I have photos."
"D-delete them or I swear I'll fuck you-"
Nina, who was entering in the middle of them at that time, got between the two while they were arguing. She waved both hands to her friends at once.
"Hi Clocky! Hi Toby!"
While Clockwork was puzzlingly questioning whether she was seeing correctly, Toby returned her greeting.
"Nina?"
"Hi Nina!"
Nina greeted him again, as if she hadn't been the first to speak.
"Hi guys! Wow, what a sweet surprise!"
"Yeah..."
Nina cheerfully clapped her hands in the air while Clockwork hummed to herself.
"Sooo, what were you talking about?"
"This sel-fish prick you see refu-ssses to buy me clothes."
When Toby dived into the middle of a word, Clockwork felt the need to interrupt and tell the truth in order to prevent a misunderstanding.
"For fuck's sake. That's not the deal!"
Toby gently moved his hand to the side of his face that was close to Clockwork for blocking her, then he spoke in a hoarse tone of voice.
"Whatever."
Clockwork walked wearily over to Kate, who was waiting on the sidelines. She knew that this duo would soon be immersed in their own conversation and she'll be ignored. That's what he wanted anyway.
"So what're you doin' here?"
"You first."
"It's kinda a long story. So you know our date thingy and we decided to go shopping for some stuff like..."
Clockwork came near to Kate, who was waiting on the corner with a nervous attitude, and stood next to her for a while. She understood that Kate had noticed her coming but didn't care because even though she had never spoken to Kate, she knew how full of danger and caution she was.
Still, this was not enough to control Clockwork's sense of curiosity. That's why she decided to break the silence and start a conversation.
"Yo, are you Nina's girlfriend?"
Kate made a short answer without needing to look at her. Although she didn't care, she knew that she would have to talk soon with her, so she asked a question in a monotone tone that she already knew the answer to. She didn't want there to be any strange tension between them if they needed to be alone.
"Yes. Are you Toby's?"
"Sadly."
"Hmm."
Finding nothing to say to this, Kate contented herself with merely making a thinking noise. Nor could it be said that she fully understood the reason why Clockwork had said such a thing about her lover.
"He's such a pain in the ass sometimes."
Toby looked at where Kate and Clockwork were, and sent a stupid kiss to Clockwork, she rolled her eyes, but he couldn't stop her lips from curling up slightly. Then, seeing that Toby and Nina had returned to their own conversation, she spoke.
"But he's kinda cute deep under his idiotness."
Kate tried to make a joke so as not to feel too strange in this environment.
"Must be really deep."
Clockwork raised her non-eye-patch-wearing eyebrow in amazement. It was obvious that she had not expected such a thing after Kate's silence.
"Oh, I liked you."
Kate began to play restlessly with the sleeves of her long-sleeved t-shirt.
"Okay."
Clockwork felt the need to speak again a little later.
"You know, Toby talks about you a lot. Kate this and Kate that. You're kinda famous."
''Oh."
Clockwork spoke with a sarcastic grin.
"I like how you scare him."
"Uh, sorry."
"But you protect him, too. And that bastard can be cocky sometimes, so he deserves it."
Kate allowed her tense expression to relax and replied with the comfort of knowing that she was approved.
"Yeah."
"So thank you."
"For..?"
Clockwork spoke with a pause, even the thought of something like this happening caused her a deep sadness, so itwas not easy to express.
"For not letting him die."
Kate paused for a while, not quite sure what she should say.
"...You're welcome."
She made an attempt to start a conversation again without letting a new silence fall. It wasn't bad talking to Kate, but she didn't like her being so nervous. However, she couldn't say anything because she knew the reason behind it.
"How about you two?"
Kate didn't expect such a question, so it was almost like she hit a wall. She wanted to put her hands on her cheeks so that the slight redness had formed on her face wouldn't be noticed, but she just stayed still since it would attract more attention. She wished she was wearing her hoodie.
"We're... cool."
"Seems so."
Clockwork had noticed how excited Kate was, contrary to Kate's hopes for the opposite, and she had found it quite sweet.
"You really like her, don't you?"
"Yes. Why?"
"She might seem happy but she has a rough past about... relationships."
Everyone clearly knew that she was talking about Jeff.
Every time this topic was brought up, she got really mad with true anger. Clockwork's friendship with him had broken down because of his terrible behavior to Nina.
"What's your point?"
Kate had made her hands into fists, as she does every time this topic is brought up. Nina's past did not concern her, and she was also ready to fight to the death with any ghosts from her past.
"Don't ever dare to hurt her."
Kate responded by shaking her head.
"Same for you."
Feeling that she was still nervous, Clockwork decided to say the result out loud to calm down the atmosphere. As if it wasn't obvious enough.
"Glad we could sort this out then."
However, Kate still could not get rid of the uncomfortable feeling caused by this situation. And this was quite understandable for her. Obviously, if the same thing had happened with Toby, Clockwork would have given the same reactions, even more.
"I'm serious. I'll kill you if you-"
"Relax, I won't. Okay?"
Clockwork made a sign with one of her hands in order to stop her.
Kate took a deep breath and tried to relax, just like Nina had taught her.
"Okay."
There was silence between them for a while. Having figured out that Kate is not a very talkative type, Clockwork decided to use the badge of the music group she saw when they first met to start a topic to talk about.
"You like Megadeth?"
"Yeah. They're cool."
"The coolest."
Kate was excited to find someone with similar tastes to her after a long time. Nina and she had very different musical thoughts from each other, and although Toby was the closest person to hers, it became different after a while.
Unable to contain her excitement any longer, she asked a question.
"What else you listen?"
And just when they got to the really interesting part of the conversation, they were interrupted with Nina grabbing Toby by the arm and dragging him away.
"Heyyy, babeee!"
Clockwork did not neglect to hum to herself.
"Oh no."
Both of them, especially Clockwork, were literally shocked when Toby spoke cheerfully.
"So we deci-ded to go o-our date now."
"Now?!"
Because of her unwittingly shouting, all the customers turned their attention to the group of four. She could feel being being crushed under Kate's rude gaze towards her.
"Sorry, or whatever, but now?"
"Yeah! All of us are already here together so why not?"
Nina clapped her hands in the most cheerful way, as if it were possible.
"But-"
"It's okay, sweetheart. I know you don't like unplanned things but it'll be better over than waiting nervously. But it's still okay if you're not feeling good enough to talk with others. We can go back to my home."
"... It's fine. Just... surprised."
She knew that Kate did not like sudden changes of plans. It was only by immersing herself in the excitement of the moment that she had suddenly decided on such a meeting. But for Nina, it was more important than anything for Kate to feel at peace, and if Kate didn't feel comfortable, she was ready to give up the date.
But Kate had said yes.
Kate was perfect, Kate was cute, Kate was charming, Kate was a very nice person!
Nina could not stand the love surging inside her any longer and hugged Kate with a flood of emotions at that moment.
"Even Kate said yes, please come for me, Clocky."
"I'm gonna fuckin' kill you one day."
In contrast to Kate and Nina's conversation, Toby and Clockwork's talking seemed tougher, but that's how their communication was. Still, that didn't mean they didn't love each other.
"You lo-ove me."
Although Toby couldn't be seen smiling because of his mask, it could easily be understood from his eyes.
"No, I don't!"
"Aww, you'd die for me."
Clockwork gifted him a middle finger.
"Eat shit and die, asshole."
"Guys, she loves me so mucc-ch."
Toby made the special sign that they had developed, which meant that he wanted to hug Clockwork, and Clockwork approved this with a deep sigh and her head.
"Fuck all of you."
"Are we group hugging?"
"No!"
"No!"
Clockwork was already getting overwhelmed by Nina jumping on top of them while Toby is buckling under pressure.
The amazing thing is that even Toby said no to this offer.
"Kate, would you like to come?"
"I'm fine."
"Here, hold my hand."
Nina held out her hand to Kate, who was standing on the edge watching them, so that she wouldn't feel lonely. Although Kate sighed with annoyance, she took Nina's hand and moved a few steps closer to the hugging trio.
"Can we stop this bullshit?"
Clockwork spoke in a strange voice as she tried to breathe.
"Just five more seconds."
"Alright."
When Nina finally loosened her arms, Toby also breathed with relief and instantly pulled on his arms.
"So what's the plan?"
"I know somewhere to hang."
"No bars in daytime, Clocky."
"..."
Kate, upon the rejection of Clockwork's offer, spoke up to make it clear that she also knows a place.
"Kate, love of my life, I love hanging out in the forest with you but I wanna do something different now."
"I know."
"..."
After there was silence for a while, Toby raised his index finger excitedly in the air, as if he had been shaken from side to side by a sudden tick wave.
"Oh, how about game saloons?"
"That's amazing!"
"Hey, you didn't pay for them!"
Just when they were leaving the store, they suddenly stopped with an angry employee calling them out.
"Oh, right."
Clockwork muttered to herself.
"God help us all."
"He won't."
She grimaced at what Kate said.
"Oh man, we're so fucked up this time."
"Hey, look at this Clocky!"
When she looked at the place Toby pointed out, she saw the rabbit hat in the section where the check out was.
May God have mercy on the poor souls of Clockwork and Kate.
V●ω●V—V●ω●V—V●ω●V—V●ω●V—V●ω●V
22 notes · View notes
yuribalisms · 2 years
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promise this is my last time bitching about all of this ignore it but
#really truly and genuinely just don't want to exist right now every time i think this situation cannot get worse it somehow manages to#i just cried at the dmv and the lady just glared at me like i was the scum of the earth like maam i don't even cry around people#i trust i don't *want* to be crying right now i'm *sorry* okay i just don't know what to do i got given the wrong forms and papers and i#tried explaining all of that and she just looked at me like i was an *idiot* and wouldn't help me with *anything* it was so humiliating#i can't drive the temporary car until it has plates because if i get pulled over for that it's a $500 fine and if i get hit with that on top#of everything else i literally don't know what i'll do i'll probably end up losing my license#but if i can't drive the car i can't go to work and i also can't afford to not go to work right now#i literally feel sick all the time i can't sleep the last few times i've tried to eat anything i feel like throwing it up#and i just feel... so hopeless right now everything i'm trying isn't working or i think i'm getting somewhere and i hit another wall#and one of the most upsetting parts is i feel like no one is helping me and no one cares how hard i'm struggling right now#i literally just want to be allowed to be upset over this but when i got visibly upset at home everyone accused me of taking my frustrations#out on them and being self pitying and 'it could always be worse'#like i don't even know at this point but if i hear the words 'could always be worse' one more time i'm going to maul the person who says the#no one wants me to be upset that's too much to deal with i am *never* allowed to be upset i just want to vent about how shitty this is and#scream and cry at the unfairness of it for a little bit but literally *no one* is letting me do that#'it could always be worse so stop complaining' or if i am visibly upset at all all that matters is it's inconveniencing or upsetting to the#other person.... not that i'm struggling or need help or anything like that#i just want it to be OVER i want it to end i'm so sick of this every time i feel like i'm scraping to somewhere managable in life#something like this happens and this is the scariest and most upsetting thing yet#and i'm not even allowed to be frustrated or upset or sad or angry because then someone else is upset and that matters more than me#so it all built up and a cried at the dmv and every one stared at me like i was annoying and stupid and i want to KILL MYSELF#i want to melt into the ground i want to stop existing i don't want a single person to talk to me because i hate everything right now#but i also desperately want to actually say all of this to a person and them not get mad at me for and tell me it IS unfair it DOES suck and#i didn't deserve this shitty thing that happened or all the other shitty things that happened beforehand#i would also appreciate just pretending it wasn't a thing for a few hours and doing something enjoyable to me with a friend or two...#but that also feels far fetched and then i would feel guilty for not trying to fix this 24/7 even though at this point there's literally#nothing else i could do#i'm just.... so tired and so SO upset and i feel like nobody cares that i'm upset and i'm so sick of EVERYTHING#i'm tired of living
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shimmerluna · 17 days
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i'm really not mad about how they ended it with wilmon tbh
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leatherbookmark · 7 months
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i love how passionate and emotional fic seongjoong is when irl they're like... an arranged marriage... lol
#not to say that they don't like each other or anything but. atz in particular seem quite aware (and not hiding it) of the practice of#ships -- not as in 'fans produce fanworks of you' but rather 'fans like your dynamics! play it up a little'#and the leader + the second 'highest' member are almost always shipped together as the 'mom' and 'dad'#which kind of doesn't make sense because a marriage usually precedes having children but in kpop is like. well here's a group and you're#two eldest members so you automatically get the mom/dad positions. sometimes it works -- whether automatically or because the#aforementioned members feel the need to take care of other members as they're the eldest -- but sometimes the dynamic is clearly#just there for the fans. and i can't help but notice that a whole bunch of 'moments' in 'seongjoong compilations' are like... not authentic#moments of them enjoying their time together but them being awkward/having awkward banter/doing fanservice during fanmeetings#and that's Different from the organic air ie woosan have#this is not to make fun of seongjoong fans because I PERSONALLY put very dramatic seongjoong in my hashtag Fic Verse#but then my fic verse was kickstarted because of that hwalazia magic and a single line in atz diary from fever 1. so it is. shall we say.#not particularly canon-inspired.#but i WOULD kill and die for every single fanfiction in which seongjoong aren't romantic sweethearts at the first sight but rather Struggle#i feel like Struggling is this... sort of a facet of their Brand... and so is mutually taking care of each other lol#they're like. this arranged marriage couple who grew to care about each other. not like 'oh shit two months in i realized i'm incredibly in#love with my spouse!' but 'yeah yknow what i like you here. stay'#good afternoon everyone enjoy this meandering and probably incorrect analysis of a relationship between two kpop lads#shrimp thoughts
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running-in-the-dark · 3 months
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and it just occurred to me that when we move, I might try to find a new therapist. there might be one/a few right in the town we're moving to (I haven't checked), but we'll be really close to a city then. so I could get there regularly (maybe. it's very scary but maybe I can manage it). so. I should probably do that? maybe find someone who'll like.... do more than just accept that I've got social anxiety (because that's what I said when I first saw my previous therapist) and help me figure out the real problem.
#like I mean I. probably have autism or adhd yeah sure. like that's just. I'm just assuming that for now.#but. the thing that really affects me more than anything at this point#is the stupid fucking rules I have to follow because my brain makes them up and I don't have a choice#and the. well everything else that's probably all related to that.#but i don't wanna go there and be like hi I think i might have ocd#because I've been so ashamed of all of this stuff for 20+ years that the thought of talking about it with a person I have to look at and wh#will ask questions about it and then possibly say nope your brain's just really fucked up.#that thought is. so horrifying idk I don't think I could do that#but I struggle with it so much every day that. idk maybe I need to do it anyway? I didn't think I could talk about the social anxiety stuff#either and I did that for years in the end. and it helped a bit.#but idk maybe it's just. pointless? I don't know how to be any other way. I've never not lived like this? I don't remember ever not having#to follow these rules and feeling like I'm disgusting for having bad thoughts and having stupid routines that I have to follow because if I#don't a Bad Thing will happen. but that part got better so maybe it's not that serious anyway and I've just been imagining all of it#because my brain is bad and all of that.#maybe it's fine that I can't touch dirty things and that if I don't tell my husband to drive safe I have to think about him crashing the ca#and it being my fault all day and almost breaking several door handles because I have to check three times if the door is really locked and#it's never enough so it's usually 3x3 times or more. and just.#just. everything I like has to be good and pure and perfect and if it's not and I can't stop myself from liking it anyway I feel disgusting#and guilty and like I'm personally responsible for every bad thing in the world because I just can't be right.#and if I could the bad things would stop#I don't think. that's how people are supposed to think? right? I feel like if everyone spent most of their time thinking about this and#doing everything to make sure they follow these rules then. idk nothing would ever get done? it's just so hard?#but no it's probably just that I'm so bad at handling it and everything is always hard for everyone and no one complains because they're#better at being human.#idk man all I know is this is fucking exhausting and I can't do this for. however many years I'll be alive for. it's been long enough#I'm tired of it#and maybe I shouldn't be on here. maybe it's time to step away again for a while. so much of this messes with my head. I can't handle the#guilt I feel from every stupid post that I saw. oh that's something people argue about? great that's been added to the list of things that#have to feel bad about now.#doesn't matter how much I disagree on a rational level. I don't get to decide. if I know it exists it will bother me. and I can't do it
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spiritflame1 · 2 months
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I don't know how to describe it, but I've had this.. feeling in my neck and back since I first learned about what was happening in Palestine around Oct 9th or 10th. I'm glad I learned about it late, because I worry I would've fell for the propaganda, which I would've learned the truth soon after but that's not my point.
I suffer really bad anxiety, and get these sort of "gut feelings" where I feel something bad is going to happen soon. Ie, when my grandmother died a few years ago, when my grandfather died last year, when my brother was in a car crash (he's fine) about a year ago.
The day before or a few hours before those happened, the top of my spine, like mid shoulder blade to the bottom of my neck, it would feel like.. claws just scraping along the vertebrae. Tugging at my nervous system. Never going down my spine but sometimes creeping up to the back of my throat or base of my skull. Like something is holding that part of my spine with jagged claws, tight enough to make me nervous and dreading.
Normally I only ever experience it for family and loved ones, like some kinda premonition or something (not that it's very useful because it's things that couldn't be prevented ie disease or accidents) but ever since I heard about Oct 7th, ever since I started following journalists on the ground in Gaza and learning about both what's happening now and what happened before, that feeling won't go away. It's just steadily there, dread crawling up my spine and clawing at nerves, but some days like when telecommunications are out in Gaza or there's reports of an invasion near where a journalist is taking refuge with thousands of others it gets worse.
And I live in amerikkka. If this is how I've felt everyday since Oct, how much worse is that feeling to Palestinians and Arabs?
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falconwhitaker · 9 months
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#I think the biggest thing I'm trying to get#from the Quint*n R*views situation#is a reinforcement of the 'creators are not my friends' thing#both in terms of 'trying to befriend a creator to get them to date you is bad'#and in terms of 'other creators I like are allowed to have takes I disagree with/think are shit'#like with the knowledge I have now?#I think Dan Ols*n was kind of a dick about it#but I'm still going to watch his videos#because I'm interested in the content he makes#because he's a human being allowed to have shit takes or to fuck up#and because he's not my friend#and nor are Emily or Sarah#they are essentially random strangers who make cool things I enjoy to watch#and that's okay#I'm not going to stop watching a huge swathe of the videos I enjoy because some creators have some interpersonal issue that is#(and I cannot stress this enough)#none of my fucking business#to conclude I don't think Quinton did anything wrong in this situation and I do think his former editor needs help#and not in a sarcastic way – they do seem to be struggling pretty badly#and that it's a bit shit to let prior personal issues affect how you react to somebody being treated poorly#but at the end of the day all y'all are human and messy and imperfect and I cannot be the purity police#I am fucking tired#and unless a creator has provably done or said something absolutely abhorrent? I cannot be bothered to care#also I have censored the names in this because I don't want to get a load of flack#and also because I don't want the people I'm talking about to see this tbh#because they don't need to see my thoughts on their interpersonal situations because I am – again – a fuckin random stranger
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Sad things that are technically very minor in the scheme of things but nontheless ruin your day all the same.
I spent the last eight hours typing away at a big long post about my blorbo whom I very rarely have the energy or guts to gush about.
I love my blorbo and very much wanted to maybe, just maybe, write something that might cause people who have not thought as obsessively as I have about this character to maybe appreciate their struggles, realize where they might have been unfair to this character and others like them in the past and maybe, in a teeny tiny way help people writing fanfic about my blorbo to actually write them as a character rather than a (cute) set piece that happens to be in their blorbos' lives.
I was under no illusion that my blorbo would become theirs. In all honesty I didn't expect more than like two people to ever actually read it and good odds those two people would still disregard it completely because there are very legit reasons for people to find my blorbo obnoxious or annoying.
BUT STILL.
That doesn't mean I expected some program (that's apparently reset its automated schedule to mid afternoon instead of the 4am I had it) to close all my internet pages as I was still writing them!
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So yeah. I'm just gonna go mope and look at silly memes for a while until I can stop feeling grief over losing my character gushing and I hope anyone potentially reading this is having a much better day.
#sadness over a comparatively minor thing but I needed to vent#the blorbo in question was Morgana from Persona 5 btw#He's a jerk who the game/my people pleasing main character makes into my jailer but I adore him#I wish people would think more about what kinds of struggles he must have navigating a human centric world#while trapped in a form that he doesn't identify as his own and leads everyone into treating him as non human#which yeah he's physically nonhuman and it can't be helped that people not in the know can't hear him talk or realize he's a person#but like#He's a person and its kind of screwed up that the fandom only ever remembers him to rag on or diss his 'insecurity' arc#which is more accurately his 'realizing he has an entire support network to lose and not knowing how to handle' arc#combined with his longer ongoing 'all I have is my identity as me and if I'm not human what is that even worth?' arc#which is different to Teddie's (my fav P4 character) in a few key areas#such as Teddie putting most of the issue on his nature of being nonhuman#whereas Morgana is more terrified of having who he is ignored in favor of the casual callousness of others#and being helpless to actually effect anything in the real world due to being to everyone but MAYBE the PT a cat#(all that said I agree with the general consensus the pre Okumura arc was handled poorly and Ryuji deserved an apology too)#but still#he's a people#If he can get a human form without it being the result of something bad he's totally valid in that#and he still deserves to be treated as a person even if he can't#all of which is more a fandom problem than a PT problem#but just saying#Futaba sweet amazing gift to the world that you are#if I was Morgana and you smooshed my face without warning like you do his#you would probably end up bleeding#(and as a result I would probably end up being thrown out and left to starve or get put down in a pound or something because cat body)#but anyway#first time using a gif#is it alright to just search here and use the ones that pop up or is a bit research first advised?#strangely enough ranting in the tags has made me feel a lot better even if I am still a bit sad#oh neat you can move tags up and down in the order when editing that's neat
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girlscience · 2 months
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I just finished my first non-fiction book in probably years. It was 277 pages long. I can read a fiction book that short in about 2 and a half hours. This took me 3 months to complete. I do wish I was faster with non-fiction, I've got a huge list of science and political and historical books I want to read, but I have to remember these books require more brain power so it's not bad they take longer. The learning is important not the time.
#it was white fragility. which from my understanding is a pretty basic sort of baby's first foray into anti-racism#but it seemed like a good place to start? if I can't handle myself I'm not going to get anything out of the other books I want to read#I found a short paper on anti-colonialism/land back that I think I'm going to read next#I'm also in the middle of cobalt red but I had to return it to the library before I could finish so I placed another hold on it#idk I'm trying to educate myself#I have black and hispanic and indigenous friends and I am very aware that I'm white but haven't ever really done anything to learn#how that affects my relationships with them or to be aware of things I could do unknowingly/unintentionally or what biases I have#and I don't want to be another person that hurts them so I need to do things to be better#and I mean just generally in the world I'm around people of color all the time and I want to be aware and such there too you know#and then also everything about the history of the US and colonialism and such here and around the world#I benefit from that so I need to be learning about it and doing things to help fight back against it#idk. this is all stuff that's been on my mind for a few years#but I was struggling to actually act on it. hopefully I can keep doing better today and tomorrow#and reading and learning seems like a good place to start#I just have to keep reminding myself that these aren't fantasy stories and they require more thought and brain power than most books I read#so it's good thing it takes me longer. that means I'm considering and digesting what I'm reading#it is not a bad thing to read slowly
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inkjette · 7 months
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So at my workplace, we fund a Food Is Free shelf. It's the basics: take what you need, give what you can - our town has a high level of poverty, there's a cost of living crisis, be the good you want to see in the world etc etc.
Today we had a guy knock on the door and ask if we had a plastic bag he could use to carry a few things - I said sure, got him a plastic bag, and he started packing up his 2 rolls of toilet paper, his 3 or 4 foodstuff items. He said he'd been to a funeral out of town (1500 kms away) and spent his paycheck on fuel - he was only broke till Friday, he said.
And I said, well I'm glad we could help, it's why we have the shelf. We want the community to use it.
And he said:
But people ABUSE it! I've seen people take heaps of stuff from it - and they don't even have kids or anything. And it's fair enough, some people are struggling until the next paycheck, but other people just ABUSE it. You need a sign that says TAKE ONE ITEM ONLY or something. I've taken something from here maybe twice, but I've seen people coming round every week! I've even put stuff on the shelf! Yeah, you need CAMERAS or something. People abuse it.
So here is a man who is actively utilising a public resource that we created to support our local community...And yet he is so brainwashed by capitalism into thinking that people don't deserve basic needs - if they're not working hard, or maybe they're struggling but they don't have it As Bad as others, or they're using a FREE RESOURCE more often than HE thinks is acceptable. He thinks that we should use security cameras to crack down on people "STEALING" from the Food is FREE shelf. Like he's more worthy, like he's a better person, because he doesn't need as much help as others might.
Sometimes, when something is free, people might abuse it. But isn't it better to offer the support to people who need it? To offer an opportunity for people to get back on their feet (even if they're only broke till Friday)? To provide help, no questions asked and no conditions needed?
So what if people abuse it - isn't it worth it if helps someone?
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anonymusbosch · 1 year
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#last thing at work was a 1 hr mtg that turned into a 1.5 hr mtg which i ended because i needed to get home to call friends#the last part of the meeting was me trying to hold it together saying I didn't think I was the right person to do [part of my job]#especially in light of the prev 80 minutes in which i barely contributed#and my manager asking in front of two other people if I wanted to keep doing [thing] and that it would be an opportunity for growth#and me trying to say can we talknabout this tomorrow#because i don't feel like i can deliver a good result and i don't feel like i have the support to actually learn from this experience#and getting through a couple rounds of trying to be diplomatic and then saying i had to leave#biked home feeling a bit like i was gonna throw up and stressed about being late to the call and then all three people flaked#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#negative#i don't know literally the first thing about what I'm supposed to be doing and i have had trouble asking for help/mentorship#we got more progress in 80 min than I'd made in multiple days bc people just Know things and are familiar with the task#when i asked for help/feedback/tasks/specific requests before i really struggled to get anything solid#and previously it was like 'make a prototype cause we'll use it for xyz' and i make it and it doesn't get used and i ask for more specifics#and i make more and they don't get used! and don't get feedback and then i find out they wanted something different when i go to present#my work and not when i specifically ask avout it and yes. i could do better about asking what i need to do and asking for help#but i keep asking for tasks and deadlines and having them be super inactionable or just not real deadlines#and i don't feel like i am equipped to succeed and I've tried to say that#i don't know how to ask for the help i need#it feels like what i need is to work with someone or work under someone on the first design project i do in ages#and not start by owning an entire subsystem whose basic function i am not familiar with
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aptericia · 2 months
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Not proud to be here.
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Ok, here goes draft like 5 of this fucking post. I spent 4 hours tossing and turning in bed last night thinking about this, and then this morning I found a tumblr post that really helped me understand what I was trying to say.
The post talks about how aromantic "advocates" claim that "aros don't take up resources, so there's no reason not to include them!" And if that's actually what people believe, I think I can finally articulate why it is that I feel so alienated in queer spaces.
It's because aspecs in general aren't "welcomed" by much of the queer community. We're tolerated. We perhaps get the luxury of not being contradicted on our own identities, or not being specifically kicked out of LGBTQ-only spaces, but that's the whole point: what we get out of the queer "community" is people NOT doing things, not actually doing things FOR us. And that, frankly, is not enough. We deserve conversations about us. We deserve to have others consider our feelings, even when making lighthearted jokes. We deserve varied, respectful representation in media. We deserve the active deconstruction of amatonormativity in society. We deserve to have space made for us, rather than at most being told we should "go take up more space!" ourselves.
Of course, the reality is that my being aspec is a personal matter that does not inherently affect anyone else. But the same can be said for literally any queer identity. Your being gay doesn't say anything about me, so of course I shouldn't hurt you for it, but why should I help you either? Because your happiness and comfort are important. The same goes for aspecs.
And most of the time, I don't even need anyone to make space for or expend resources on me; I can live fine in everyday, non-queer-specific places without mentioning my identity at all. But it's the queer community that claims it will make that space for me, doesn't, and then acts defensive and morally pure if I call out the hypocrisy because "we're queer too, you can't erase our identities to advocate for yours!!!!"
Again, this post isn't about specifics. I have queer friends who are incredibly thoughtful and supportive about my identity, just as I have non-queer friends who are. I find more solidarity in aspec-only communities, as well as trans/genderqueer ones, although there are still many exceptions. This post is also not about amatonormative ideology, which is extremely common from queer and non-queer people alike. This post is about the reason I've felt so betrayed by the queer community.
--
On a personal note, I remember being so excited when I started identifying as aromantic (and later asexual). Fitting myself into labels has been a lifelong struggle for me; to this day I still can't confidently say if I'm White or PoC, neurotypical or neurodivergent, abled or disabled, cisgender or not cisgender. I continue to struggle making friends because I don't fall into social cliques. To discover that I officially, certainly, was LGBTQ+ lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. And now I'm just so sad to find that despite that, I'm still stuck in the middle. I didn't get rewarded with a community. I still feel alienated from both queer and non-queer people. I know it was silly to get my hopes up when there's such vast diversity in both groups, but it really was a disappointment. Going to my first Pride parade last year was really the moment where I realized this.
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sp0o0kylights · 6 months
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Bullshit.
The word rings obnoxiously in Steve’s ears as he pushes his way out back, not wanting to be anymore of a talking piece at this party than he already was.
He’d just wanted Nancy to stop drinking, take a second, pace herself…
Steve swipes furiously at his eyes, and then curses when it nearly causes him to run into Chrissy Cunnginham, who’s perched in a chair tucked away from the patio door.
“Sorry, sorry.” He apologizes, trying not to sound like he’s upset, trying to keep his cool--only for her to look up and away, brushing off her own tears.
“Oh.” Steve says, a little laugh bubbling out of him. “You too huh?”
Thankfully she correctly interprets that he's not laughing at her, and adds her own giggle to the mix, the sound gentle even if pitched in upset.
"Boy problems?" Steve asks her, sinking down to the vacant chair on Chrissy's right.
She nods, clasping her hands together in her lap.
"Girl problems?" She asks back, and he grimaces a smile.
They sit for a minute, Steve pulling out a cigarette and offering it to her before lighting up. Chrissy shakes her head, and though her nose curls a little at the smoke she doesn’t say anything.
Neither of them do, staring at the few people bringing the party outside in the way only drunk teenagers can.
"Can I tell you something?" Chrissy says finally, as Steve continues to struggle to keep himself breathing evenly (and not spiraling. He still has to go back and try and escort Nancy home, and he needs to keep his temper when he does it.)
She licks her lips. "I keep trying to break up with Jason, but he won't let me."
It takes a second for the words to register, but when they do he leans himself towards chrissy in concern. “What do you mean, he won’t let you?”
“He’s not--it’s not…”She trails off, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth. “He talks me out of it is all.”
She’s downplaying it, and Steve’s concern grows tenfold. “Does he argue with you or just…tells you no or something?”
"It's complicated." Chrissy says, refusing to look at him. "He has this vision for me, for us."
Steve watches as she worries at a hangnail.
Feels the need to reach out and take her hand, but keeps his own hands to himself.
If Steve has learned anything, it's that not everyone wants to be touched as much as he does.
"He keeps telling me I'm just being anxious. That I should trust him, and I do, he just expects me to always do what he says? And more and more lately I--"
She huddles down into the little cat costume she's wearing, pulling the thin black sweater around her. "I want different things than he does."
Steve wonders vaguely if Nancy wants different things.
Or a different person entirely.
"That's not fair to you." Steve says, leaning forward and lowering his own voice. "He can't keep you in a relationship you don't want to be in."
A hard thing for him to say, after the bathroom conversation but this is different.
‘Please, let this be different.’ He thinks, before pushing the thought aside.
"He can't force you to do what he wants just because he wants it, or thinks its best. He should be listening to you and what you want too. Relationships are about…compromise right?” It’s what he’s heard anyway, though most of the time “compromise” means “letting the other person get what they want.”
Which is what he thought he’d been doing for Nancy all this time.
“I can help you if you want. Be your," Steve poorly mimes waving a pom pom. "cheer support."
Chrissy looks at him, eyes still wet. "You would?"
"Of course.” He says, before scooting just a smidgen closer. “Might have to ask you to return the favor though. Nancy said some things tonight and I could really use a second--”
A loud curse makes them both startle, interrupting Steve.
Together, they look around before another noise, like bark being scraped, draws both their attention to the large oak that stands in the backyard.”
"Is…is that Eddie Munson?" Chrissy asks.
"I think so."
Chrissy squints a little, as if not quite believing what she's seeing. "Is…he stuck in a tree?"
Steve finds himself staring in his own disbelief, hands moving to his hips as he watches Munsons wriggling, cursing form.
"I think so." He repeats with a shake of his head.
Eddie's foot slips off a branch, once, twice.
"Hey--" Steve calls out in warning, but unfortunately it comes too late.
The branch under his foot gives away with a startling crack! as another branch shreds Munson's jacket as his full weight caches on it.
"Oh!" Chrissy gasps, hand flying to her mouth as Eddie falls right onto his ass with a yelp.
"You good man?" Steve asks, rising from his chair, hesitant to go over but needing to make sure the idiot hasn't cracked his skull open.
Chrissy has no such qualms, popping up to run over to Munson.
"You're bleeding." She tells him worriedly, dropping to her knees to get a better look.
"Well shit." Munson says with a wonky grin. “I’m sorry.”
“What are you apologizing for?” Chrissy asks, as Steve’s newly honed babysitting instincts kick in and drive him to get up and look at Munson’s injury himself.
Chrissy carefully strokes the older teen’s hair out of his face, as Steve bends down to check his head and neck.
"You hurt anywhere?" He asks, spotting the scratch that had Chrissy worried.
It’s on his forehead--the guy must have knocked his face against the tree when he fell. Head injuries always bleed a ton but this one's well contained to a small scrape.
Probably not a concern, though Steve looks at his pupils anyways.
"Nah, I’m pine. I didn't mean to drop in on you guys.” He waves a hand behind him before dropping his voice to a dramatic whisper. “I knew I shouldn’t have trusted that tree, it was pretty shady.”
Steve, long trained by Dustin, narrows his eyes. "Are you making puns right now?"
"Maybe?" Munson hedges, looking delighted to have been called out.
“Uh huh.” Steve puts his hands back on his hips, straightening up from where he’d crouched down. “Your head okay? You remember your name and shit?”
“Edward Edwardian Munson, present and ready for duty!” He gives a mock salute, before dropping Chrissy a wink. “If the duty is drinking and playing games that is.”
“Your middle name cannot be Edwardian.” Chrissy laughs.
"It is!" He defends, at the same time Steve says,
“It's not "
“Oh?” Munson challenges, as if this entire situation isn’t ridiculous. “Then what is my middle name, Sir Steven?”
“No idea, but I know it’s not that.”
Munson blows a raspberry at him. “Well then, maybe you should mind your own beeswax."
"Like you were doing? Up in the tree right above us?" Steve banters back.
The playful look dies a little, Munson beginning the painful process of standing after one falls.
"For the record, I absolutely was not eavesdropping, you guys just happened to be under the tree I climbed and I was there first. " He says it rapidly, like he's used to being accused of such things, and is heading off as many problems as he can.
Steve just ignores it, opting instead to hold his hands out. One to Chrissy and one to Eddie.
Watches surprise cross the older teens face, even as he waits for Chrissy to get up before accepting Steve's hand.
"Why were you up a tree? The family dog run you up there?" Steve grunts as he pulls the metalhead up.
"Funny." Munson quipped sarcastically. "But no. I was up there for reasons."
'Reasons.' Steve mouths, and has to fight himself to keep from grinning.
"Even though I was there first, I did happen to hear some things." He looks at Chrissy, voice turning serious. "If you need any help getting things through Carver's thick skull I'd love to lend a hand."
"You would cheer for me too?"
"Oh absolutely. I'd make a far better cheerleader than Harrington here." He shoots a grin towards Steve to take the edge off the words, before doing a far more enthusiastic mimicry of the cheerleaders pom pom routine.
"But I know how much Carver hates the word no. If you break up with him and he gives you shit after, I'm happy to step in."
Steve hadn't actually thought about that yet, but given what he knew of Jason it makes sense.
He could easily see Chrissy worrying about Jason harassing her after the break up.
"Thank you. Both of you." She sniffs. "Eddie, are you sure you're okay?"
"Right as rain!" Munson gives a rather theatrical thumbs up. "I'll let you in on a family secret, we Munson's have rubber bones."
She gives him another giggle for his efforts, and even Steve can’t fully cover his
Munson, the ass, notices.
“Well call me the court jester, I got both the King and Queen to smile!” He cheers.
Steve rolls his eyes, but doesn't deny it.
"Chrissy!?" Someone barks, loud in the otherwise quiet backyard.
"Speak of the devil." Eddie drops his voice dramatically as Jason strides out of the house.
"I've been looking for you." He chides, two of his friends following close behind.
They're younger members of the basketball team, ones Steve's brain sluggishly attempts to remember.
"Are your knees dirty?" Jason asks Chrissy, disgust tinting his voice as he slowly looks from her to Munson next to her.
His eyes narrow, expression almost offronted.
"You heathen." Jason snarls, stepping forward with a fist clenched.
It was a move right of the sitcoms Steve swore he didn't watch, and it looked just as cheesy in real life as it did on screen.
"Calm down." Steve speaks up, hands going to his hips.
Jason's head jerks as he registers him, so focused on Munson that Steve slipped his notice entirely.
"Harrington?" He asks, as if Steve could be mistaken for anyone else here.
Steve gives him jazz hands in return.
"What are you doing out here?" Jason speaks only to Steve, whole body angling towards him like he's the only person who matters.
It's something Steve's dad does, if there's a businessman he considers to be an equal in the room. Zoning in on them, so he can subtly work in ways to make them feel inferior.
It's narcissism at its core (or so says his mother, when she's blitzed out on too many glasses of wine.)
"Talking to people." Steve deadpans. "If you're looking for beer, you walked past it."
Jason entire face pinches, like he just stepped in dog shit. "No one just talks to Munson."
It's a stupid thing to say, and whatever Hason was trying to imply with it wasn't appreciated.
"Well mark me as the first." Steve's hip cocks, voice frosting over.
Surprise washes across Munson's face, though he remains silent as Steve deals with Jason.
Probably a smart move, given how Jason seems to be eager for a fight.
"Whatever it is you're doing, you can leave Chrissy out of it." He says, and god his voice even sounds like Steve's dad.
"Chrissy," Steve says, with an eyebrow raise he knows looks judgemental, "can speak for herself."
He turns to face her, inviting her to the conversation, in the same way he'd always wished someone would invite his mother to speak against his father.
Watches as the cheerleader bites her lip, trying hard to hide the tears that have sprung to her eyes--but proves that she's stronger than Steve's mother ever was.
She steps forward, taking the opportunity offered to her with a steadying breath. "Jason--"
"You can explain it to me later." Her boyfriend waves her off, like she was a waitress offering water and not his partner.
Uncaring entirely that she's clearly upset.
That she wants to talk.
Munson has come to stand on Chrissy's other side, gone still in a way Steve's never seen him do.
It's downright weird for a guy who's normally always moving, and Steve knows it's defensive.
He's feeling a little defensive himself right now, though he doesn't want to particularly untangle why.
"Jason, listen to me." Chrissy tries again.
In his preffery vision, Steve spots a flash of familiar color. Turns his head automatically, seeking it out--and sees Jonathan hustling Nancy across the room.
The younger man is trying to balance Nancy while opening the front door, and for a second Steve almost beelines for them, except--
Except.
Nancy's whole body moves in what Steve intimately knows is an exhale, leaning her head in the crook of Jonathan's shoulder.
One arm wraps around his waist, as Jonathan finally gets the door open, and Steve watches with a stunned sort of horror as his girlfriend presses a kiss to Jonathan's shoulder.
It's fine.
He's fine.
Nancy was just--drunk. Seeking comfort. She didn't know what she was doing. She didn't mean it like that, she didn't--
"Oh shit Harrington." Jason drawls, a lazy sort of taunt. "I think Byers just stole your girlfriend."
Steve's head snaps back to him, the emotions he was attempting to box up flying to the front of his brain like dogs who slipped their leash.
"Never thought a priss like Nancy would be easy like that, but then, you never were the kind of guy to inspire loyalty." Jason continues, clearly ignoring his own girlfriend and all Steve can see is red.
Munson sucks air between his teeth next to him, nervously eyeing Steve while Chrissy's eyes have gone wide with shock and growing anger.
"Jason!" She admonishes, but he's not even looking towards her.
That too sharp smile is all for Steve.
He thinks of Nancy, the way she'd been so angry with him but so gentle with Jonathan.
He thinks of the monster he faced down in the Byers house, the terror that had shrank down to that same adrenaline soaked focus he had on the basketball court.
He thinks of this asshole Junior in front of him.
Making Chrissy cry just because she'd been kind enough to try to help Eddie, and accept Eddie's kindness in return when the weirdo tried to help her and Steve both.
Steve taps his foot, then switches his stance.
'Plant your feet.' Hargroves voice snarls in his memory and Steve wouldn't be surprised if the asshole abandons the keg long enough to come watch this.
Have his turn at heckling, just because he can.
Steve plants his feet anyway.
"You know what Carver?" He says, hands dropping from his hips.
Jason's face curves into a smile. "What?" He says, tone smarmy.
"You're full of shit."
Hand cocking back of its own accord, Steve puts every bit of himself into his punch.
Feels it reverberate up his arm as his knuckles connect to Jason's cheek.
It's going to hurt later, but right now all he can do is stand over Jason as the asshole's head snaps sideways, legs staggering him backwards until he's falling into his friends.
Chrissy gasps, Jason's boys chanting variations of 'Oh shit!'
Steve just glares him down.
The junior wipes his bloodied mouth, letting his friends push him up before shrugging them off.
"You're going to regret that." Jason snarls, and Steve squares up a second time, expecting to be rushed, when the sharp snickt! of a switchblade freezes them both.
"I think we're done here." Munson says, knife in hand.
The blade he holds is stained a deep, russet red. Crusty flakes fall off it, drifting gently down to the patio floor.
Jason's eyes boggle at it for a moment before he stands up straight.
"Now it makes sense. You're weak, Harrington, letting the Freak get his claws into you." Jason spits bloodstained saliva down at Eddie's feet. "No wonder Coach wants Billy as co-captain!"
Steve just scoffs.
"Chrissy!" Carver barks, making the poor girl jump. "Come here, we're leaving!"
Trembling, but stepping closer to Steve, she shakes her head.
"Chrissy." Jason orders again, and has the audacity to point to his feet, like a man commanding his dog.
"No." Chrissy says it quietly at first, voice a little shaky, before she seems to realize it.
She stands taller, repeats herself in a stronger voice. "No, Jason. We're done."
Jason stares at her, hard. "Chrissy, your mother told me to bring you home. So I'm going to take you home and get you away from this--demon and his lackey!"
It doesn't sound loving.
It sounds like a threat.
He steps forward, hand out to grab her arm and Steve tenses, shifting to step in front of Chrissy.
Eddie beats him there.
The word demon seems to awaken something in him, because his face is now grinning theatrically, voice dipping low in pitch.
"You heard her, Carver. She said no, and even I respect a lady's wish. So run along now," he walks two fingers in the air, from the hand not waving the knife around. "before I decide to make you and her both one of mine, just as I did Harrington!"
Jason actually crosses himself, before making one last attempt for Chrissy.
"That monster is dangerous. if you don't come with me, I'll have to alert your parents." He locks eyes with her. "For the good of your soul."
Steve snorts at that crock of shit, but Eddie lunges forward, slashing the knife in the air.
It's nowhere near Jason, but the guy leaps a foot back anyway.
"Begone!" Eddie booms, and that's all it takes for Jason and his cronies to huff and puff and stride away.
He keeps his arms in the air for a few beats more, before dropping them when it's clear Jason won't be back.
"So I'm yours, huh?" Steve drawls, as Eddie finally puts his hands down and turns to face them.
The guys scary face drops into something almost excited, and Steve can practically see the adrenaline crackling through him.
"Hey it worked. Carver's a religious nut, he goes running anytime you even hint at Satan." Eddie shrugs, grinning wildly. "Put on a little show and poof! Him and his flying monkeys melt away!"
He mimes melting and Steve stares at him for it, until he hears Chrissy laughing next to him.
Eddie grins at her and Steve is hit with the realization that it was for her benefit. To make her feel better about her psycho ex.
Something fond and familiar winds through his chest as the other boy bows.
He refuses to put a name to it.
"Did you paint your knife?" He asks instead, rubbing the hand he hit Jason with.
"What?" Eddie asks, startled out of his court jester act.
Steve nods to his hand holding the switchblade. "That's not blood, it's way too red."
"Ah." Eddie turns the grin back on, and this time it's for Steve. "Yeah, it's uh. Modeling paint. Not like Carver would know the difference."
Unspoken was the fact that he hadn't thought Steve would.
Prior to last year, he'd have been right.
Drunken cheering erupts into wild yells inside, breaking whatever spell the three of them were under.
Hargrove's voice is the loudest among them, and the dude is definitely wasted.
Steve has a feeling Hargrove also knows the difference between paint and blood, rendering Munson's knife trick useless if the dick tried to start something.
"Do you want a ride home, Chrissy?" He asks quietly.
"If it's not a bother." She says, wiping tears shed refused to let fall from her eyes.
Chrissy Cunningham was a lot stronger than people gave her credit for.
"Come on, Munson, I think it's time we all make our exit." Steve says, finding himself weirdly unwilling to leave the older teen behind.
Eddie could hold his own, but given how badly things were playing out Steve figured it was best if they all just called it a day.
"Yeah lemme just…" Munson puts his blade away, fumbling at his pockets for a moment before turning and snatching up a metal lunchbox.
"There! After you, my liege." He says, before opening the lunchbox to make it talk.
"My lady." He makes it say, pitching his voice high.
Chrissy breaks into giggles again and Steve rolls his eyes, but he claps his good hand on Eddie's shoulder as he walks past.
Eddie smiles at him, this one a bit softer than the others, eyes sparkling and Steve chooses not to read into that either.
The three of them walk together, Eddie splitting off to his van after Chrissy thanks him.
Part Two
2K notes · View notes
poltoreveur · 2 months
Text
Seduction by the Shores
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Pairing: Luke Castellan x GN!Reader (implied pussy lol)
Warning: NSFW, set before tlt, smut, PWP, piv, semi-public sex, doing it on the wet ground, dom!Luke to slightly sub!Luke and back to soft dom!Luke, choking, going in raw and creampie (wrap it before you tap it!), slight aftercare.
Word count: 5.3k+ (I got carried away).
A/N: In the wise of SZA, “now I’m ovulating and I need rough sex.” So I'm back again with another fic. Weirdly enough, I reappeared last year just to write a smut fic and leave (oops). I usually have a summary for this, but this is just pure smut.
!Not readproof! I’m too lazy to reread my own writing.
Everyone loves Luke Castellan.
He’s the golden boy of Camp Half-Blood. Handsome, generous, and kind. Helps out the new kids. He’s the best swordsman in camp by a mile. You’d even love Luke if you didn’t know better. Maybe you did anyway.
But you've always known there's more to him than his charming exterior. You've seen his eyes change like they're hiding something. That shift happens mostly when his father is mentioned, and he tense up. You've tried to avoid him, but he always seems to find you. One night, he caught you by the lake, his eyes kind but troubled. "I'm guessing you're not having a great night."
For all his charm and charisma, Luke Castellan is more than just the beloved golden boy of Camp Half-Blood; he's a human being with a complex inner world, one that's filled with secrets and conflicts. Despite his best efforts to hide it, at times, his inner struggles emerge, leaving you to wonder just how much more there might be to Luke than meets the eye.
You glanced over at him watching him approach you but kept your quiet. Luke sits down next to you, close, but not touching.
Luke looks at you, waiting for a comment or an explanation. The lake is beautiful, shining in the moonlight. It's actually quite a lovely scene, he's not sure why you'd be miserable here. He has this habit of looking at you without actually looking at you, somehow making it feel more personal.
"I could help with that, you know? Make your night a little more fun."
"Don't start with me, Castellan." You simply commented, rolling your eyes as your gaze stayed staring at the lake.
You can't tell if he smiles or not, but he laughs before speaking. It's actually just adorable when his lips curl up. Luke leans closer, not much. Just enough to make you a little anxious.
"How was I starting anything? I was trying to brighten your mood. I bet I could help."
Something comes into his eyes, a darkness.
His voice is still the smiling flirty guy that everyone loves, but his tone changes a little.
"Besides... you look so miserable. I've always been really good at fixing people's moods. It's one of my best qualities."
He leans a little closer than before. Close enough that you can smell the honey, citrus scent coming from his cologne. You're not sure if he does that intentionally, but he's quite close now.
"Come on now, you know you can tell me. Maybe I could put a smile on that pretty little face."
"You could, but I might have to kill you after." That made him smirk. The way he's looking at you... Oh Gods.
"You can try, you know I'd get you right before you got me, though. I'm too quick." He grinned. He was flirting, he always flirted, but there was something else in his eyes. Something darker.
"Come on, what could be so serious?"
“Not gonna talk it out of me, Castellan." You closed your eyes before lying down on the ground. The ground was damp but it wasn’t too much of an inconvenience, finding comfort just lying there.
He smiles and lies down right next to you.
Too close now, too close. You're practically on top of each other but he doesn't pull away.
The grass is very green, the lake is a beautiful dark blue. It's actually quite peaceful here. The air is still but not too cold.
"You're too stubborn sometimes. Why won't you tell me?" His hand brushes her hair absentmindedly. "You can talk to me, even if you don't want to."
"I feel like if someone doesn't want to, they won't talk." You pointed out the obvious, slowly glancing up at him again.
Luke smiles, his hand resting on your head now. He's actually being surprisingly gentle.
His eyes are so hypnotic in this light. His voice grows softer, a hint of that darkness in it still. “I like to make people change their minds. You would talk if I got you into the right mood."
"Not gonna happen."
"Really now?" He leans in just close enough to almost kiss you. He's still smiling, his voice a little bit softer, a little bit more husky.
"You're stubborn." He said, lightly tapping your nose. "I'm stubborn. We can stay like this all night if you want. But I'll stay here to remind you that I care."
Luke pulls back again, smiling at you. He gets a little bit closer though, until his face is mere inches away from yours. He tilts his head at just the right angle to catch the moonlight coming off his blue eyes.
"Think about that." Luke looked into her eyes for a long moment. Then he leaned forward, placing his hand on your head and kissed your forehead.
"Just a reminder."
Luke pulls away and sits up. His hands are resting on his legs now, and he's looking up at the moon.
"What do you think about the sky, you know? The stars. It's quite beautiful. Makes you think about things. Life's so short. Maybe you should do the things you want to do, while you can." Luke chuckles, sitting back down and looking up at the sky. He looks at you for a second, then looks away.
The air is thick with tension. Luke looks at you over his shoulder, with kind of a half smile on his face. His eyes are still that darker colour, but they're softer now. You're not sure why it's so tempting to lay your head on his shoulder.
"The sky is beautiful. You know, most demigods think of it as a symbol of the gods, right? But I've always thought of it as... freedom. I mean, who cares what the gods think?" He said, looking back at you.
"The sky makes me feel free. I'll look at it sometimes when I'm feeling trapped, you know." He glances back at you, expecting an input.
"You think the gods are looking down at us from the sky?"
He laughs a bit, turning back to the sky and looking at it.
"I don't know, maybe? But even so, why should we care if they are or not? I don't get what all the fuss is about the gods, why do so many people at camp obsess over their opinions so much? They're just like any other person, except they have a little more power. They don't really care about us, if they did, then we wouldn't be the ones doing all the important stuff."
“I mean, they say that Jesus is always looking down on us, do you think they meant the sky?”
He laughs again, looking at you out of the corner of his eye.
"You're really not going to let me distract you from whatever's bothering you, are you? Even when I'm trying really hard." There's another hint of that darkness in his eyes.
"I don't want to think about it, I just wanna lay down and have a relaxing moment to myself, but I'd rather it not be on this damp ground." He knows how stubborn you are. Instead, he smiled and scooted closer.
He's so close to you now, his body is close to yours and he can feel your breath. He just stares up at the sky.
"Where else?" He looks into your eyes. He's enjoying this. You’re falling for this. He smiles. "The lake sounds pretty lovely to me."
"It's wet here."
The darkness in his eyes is getting stronger. His voice is growing husky again, the way you like it.
He can’t help it, Luke leans closer again. He wants the intimacy between you. There is a subtle change in his eyes. He stares at you, and now his hand is brushing your leg.
His voice is low and rough and seductive. “The lake is fine. I prefer it, even. It’s the perfect place for us.”
A hint of a smirk rises from his lip. He knows how much he affects you. You both know exactly what he’s trying to do, and you both want to do it, but he will not let you think you have any control over this situation, he’s always in control.
He leans towards you again, his hand moving further up your leg.
"Castellan." His name came out of your lips like a warning but you said it softly enough for him.
The smirk slowly rises on his lip, and he whispers.
"What, love?" His hand keeps creeping up your leg, his voice sounding almost like a growl. It's such a change from the charming guy you know, and it's so tempting, yet so unsettling. He stares at you, waiting for a response, waiting to see what you'll do.
You can almost feel the dark energy coming off him. His presence is just so dominating right now, he wants this. He is getting closer and closer until he's practically lying on top of you. He's not looking at you anymore, he's just looking down at his hand which is resting just below your thigh. It is not moving up, but you can feel the tension.
He leans up, his eyes searching yours. You can tell that he wants something more than just a little flirting. He wants to see how far he can take this. Luke's hands are going up even higher, brushing her thighs now. He's so close now, you can feel his breath brushing your neck.
The tension builds more and more. He is so close to just taking you right here. You can feel him starting to move his hands to the sides of your back, to the small of your back. He wants this, and he can't help but try. The darkness in his eyes is getting more potent, as his breathing gets heavier and heavier.
He leans in closer, his mouth less than a few inches away from your neck. You can feel his breath. He's waiting. That anticipation, that temptation, is just so intoxicating and it's making him crazy.
The darkness of his eyes fades away as he finally makes a move. His lips come closer, so close, until they just touch, making a soft clicking sound. His eyes close, and his lips finally meet yours, his lips opening slightly to let the kiss linger longer until he pulls back and leans towards your ear.
It was such a soft kiss, nothing more than his lips barely grazing yours. But the heat between them builds when his eyes reopen. He pulls away just barely speaking.
"Castellan."
Your voice is so low, so quiet, and yet so alluring. Luke’s breathing starts to speed up, and his grin gets wider.
He looks down at her with the darkest eyes you’ve ever seen. His voice is low. "Luke." He corrected.
You only called him by his first name, whenever you’re gonna or when you’re doing it. He was certain you’ve been deliberately conditioning him with it.
Luke's movements slow, his body unweights your body.
His eyes are dark. A little bit too dark. He seems less sure of himself now. Still, Luke's hand is sliding up your thigh. Closer to what he wants.
He's so close to you now. He's moving his hand up and down your leg. Slowly. Almost teasingly. His voice is barely a whisper.
He quickly took the initiative by kissing you aggressively. But somehow your hands making their way to the back of his neck and into his hair.
His tongue flicks into your mouth as his hands grip your thighs, he squeezes tighter. Luke’s breath comes out in short little moans.
Luke is on a whole different level now. He's enjoying this more and more. His eyes are closed as he kisses you deeper. His hands move further up your thighs. This is going exactly how he wanted it to. He's got you completely trapped and submissive at this point and he knows it. He opens one eye and looks at you.
"Do you want me?" He asks, his voice dark and smooth. He's holding himself just on the edge. Right where he wants to be. He stares into her deep sapphire eyes, waiting for an answer. It's a dark question, but he wants to hear it from you.
You simply smirk at his question. You knew that he wanted you to say it, your admission is everything to him. But you weren’t going to give him that satisfaction as you pulled him closer and just started kissing him again, slowly, biting down on his lower lip.
He groans and then laughs quietly. You weren’t giving him the words he wanted to hear. That was fine. He was going to make you say it.
He kisses you back, harder, faster. His hands are moving under your shirt, tracing the curves of your back and waist.
Luke leans back, his forehead leaning on you. Your breaths are coming faster and faster. Your lips touch when you kiss. He is in complete control over you right now, and he likes that. "You want me? Say it."
"I'm not giving you that power." Your hands travelled down his shirt and slowly went underneath it, feeling the tone of his abs.
His body is still now, but you can feel his muscles tensing as you move your hands.
It's like you're pressing switches that turn a machine on. A low groan escapes his mouth, as his breath quickens again. His eyes close tight as he tries to resist the urge.
His breath hitches in his throat, but you probably doesn't notice that for a moment. His eyes snap open when he can't fight it and he stares at you, waiting for you to admit it.
He's the only person at camp who actually has this level of control. He pushes you back down, his hands going down to your waist now. His breath is almost like a growl at this point. It's pure pleasure to hear that he still has complete control over uou. His voice is soft in your ear now. "Please."
You chuckled and moved down to his neck to kiss it.
Luke tenses again. His neck is his weakness.
He always liked to be in control, and his neck feels like it gives him away. He likes that you found this. "Please." His voice is low but pleading. They both know that he is very much begging you to say it now as his neck is being kissed aggressively.
Luke gasps as you continue trailing kisses down his neck. He tenses again. His breath is heavy in his throat.
The sound alone is like music to your ears. His hands are still at your waist, squeezing a little harder. He likes the feeling of you pulling at his shirt, but he tries to still keep himself on. "Please." His voice had the sound of urgency, almost begging now as his eyes dart to yours.
"I like it when you beg."
That wasn’t exactly what he wanted you to say but his body responds to your voice. His breath catches in his throat again and he arches back against your body. His eyes roll back and another low groan escapes his lips. One of his hands moves up to your neck as he pins you down against him, and starts dragging his hand down your back.
"You'll have to earn that," you purred, licking a trail along his neck that made his gut twist taut.
Luke's body moves away from you. His breath comes out in short but heavy breaths, he arches his back and lets out a deep grunt of pleasure. "I can earn it." He pushes you back down now.
He is taking control again. He kisses your neck passionately, his lips against your neck, his breath almost like a growling moan against your skin. He is moving slowly around your neck now as if he's exploring.
He positioned himself between your thighs. One hand supported your back, while the other fumbled to unclasp his belt.
It was difficult to recall how he'd ever got aroused before you came along. The way you both demanded and begged all at once sent his brain spinning.
Luke's hand is fumbling with his belt, it's not coming undone though. Like him, he's lost control. He's lost control over you, over himself, he never loses control. Maybe that is why he's enjoying this so much. Your presence and your kisses have turned him completely into someone else, someone whose only thoughts are pleasure. He leans forward again, kissing your neck passionately yet again. His breath is coming fast but heavy now. He's completely and utterly obsessed with the feeling.
You smirk before your hand slowly starts to help him undo his belt as well as unbutton his pants.
His head arches back slightly and he lets out a low groan again. "Yes..." He whispers softly. His breath is heavy in his throat. He takes a look down and is startled to see she is helping him undo his belt. Now he is almost completely submissive to you. You’re the one in charge now, completely at your whim. All he wants is you.
"Say please," you whispered, nipping his lower lip as he pulled your pants hastily down to your ankles, impatient as he is, he moved your soaked underwear to the side. “I like it when you ask nicely."
Luke is almost embarrassed. He has never been this submissive before. He always thought he’d be in complete control at all times. But you had to take control away from him and he doesn’t even mind. “Please…” His voice is soft, begging for you now. He looks down at you now, wanting you to reply. He wants to give up all control to you. All he wants now is your eternal pleasure.
You simpered before kissing him, your tongue eagerly seeking his.
You swallowed his moan as he hurried to himself free from the restraints of his boxers. He couldn’t wait anymore, he pushed himself into you. Tight, hot, and quivering as he gave you everything he had. He loosely wrapped his fingers around your throat, and you whined against his mouth, my head tilting back as my eyes fluttered shut. He tightened his grip, your own hands scrambling at his waist to encourage him deeper.
This is more pleasure than he has ever felt. The feeling of being completely submissive is a thrill that he had never felt before. He loves being at the complete mercy of someone else. Luke pulls you closer to him, arching his back again and letting out low grunts into your mouth. He holds your neck and he pulls back, looking down at you. His breath is heavy in your ear, his eyes closed tight. “You have… complete control.”
He was completely lost now. All he could hear was her begging now. All of his focus was on you now, he was consumed by you. Your hands around his waist, his mouth kissing yours passionately, your bodies moving in perfect sync with each other. His breathing grew heavier as the pace grew faster. His hand tightened on your throat, as if by instinct, but still gentle.
Luke’s breathing was heavy, his body tense and quivering. His breath was all he could hear now. Every time he moved forward, you moved her body and his would follow, and vice versa. You both lost yourselves more and more in a world where nothing mattered but you and the feeling you could give him. His breath caught in his throat, it came out in moans of pleasure. His hand was tight around your neck, but you could feel the soft grip of it.
You close your eyes in the pleasure of everything.
Everything around you felt a little fuzzy even your vision as you threw your head back while still trying to keep your hands on his waist, but you didn’t think you could hold on much longer as you gripped on his way, slowly started to falter.
The pace was getting faster now. His breath was coming faster and heavier now. “Hey, stay with me…” He whispered. It was so close. He was so close.
His body shakes uncontrollably. Every nerve in his body was tingling with pleasure. His grip on your neck tightened slightly as you moved faster and faster. His breath was coming out in short little exhales. His eyes are closed tight, his whole body quivering. All he can hear is your breath and soft moans, which are getting louder now.
He is so close, but he doesn’t want to finish right now. He wants to drag it out for you. He wants you to experience more of this. His grip tightens again, but still gently. His breathing is coming out in short little gasps now. Every fibre of Luke’s being was consumed with you and this pleasure.
You keep going, your bodies moving together, the pace has reached its peak now. His breath is short and loud now, his grip is tighter on you but not harsh.
He pulled you closer by your waist with one arm, maintaining his grip on your neck with the other, aligning me to accommodate all of him. With each thrust, I bit down on the flesh of his shoulder as his whole body tensed and his breath caught in his throat. His body shudders, and his entire body shakes with the pleasure. His hand is now tight around your neck, as he hits the peak of pleasure now. His breathing comes out in the slightest groan of satisfaction as your bodies combine together in one last movement.
Luke is shaking by this point. His breathing is deep now and his whole body is a quivering mess. Your touch is the most intense feeling he’s ever had. The pace was steady now and the feeling had only gotten more intense. The feeling of your hands around his waist, as you move with him. Your eyes looking into him. His body is twitching and tense, his breath is sharp and loud now. He can almost feel what you’re feeling as you move together.
“Luke, I’m—“
“Don’t stop.” He whispered in your ear. He was so close. His whole body was tense and she could feel the vibrations of his breath. Your touch was all he was thinking about now. He was in complete control for the first time in a long time. He was in complete control of your pleasure. Your breathing became louder, and he knew you were close to your climax too. You could feel the vibrations of his breath as you got closer and closer.
Luke’s body is shaking uncontrollably now. The grip around your neck is the tightest it’s been all night, but still gentle. His breath is coming out in loud sharp gasps now, his body twitching like crazy. Your body is twitching with his, the both of you moving at your own pace.
His grip is tightening even more as he feels the buildup of energy in her body. His breathing is like a growl now. He has completely lost control again, you were the one in control. You were the one making the pace. Now he just wants to hear you finally call out to him, call out to him that you’re almost there. Your body is the only one he feels now. You, your breathing, your motions. You are all he feels. He wants you to let go of it all, he wants you to call to him. He could feel you getting closer and closer.
“I swear to the Gods, Luke. I’m gonna—“ You finally mumbled his name again, but it came out breathless as you tried to hold onto him. You were practically clinging onto him for dear life. He could feel you clenching inside around him. Which almost made him lose control, he would’ve given up at that very moment if it wasn’t for your voice grounding him.
Your voice is like music to his ears. It’s all he wanted to hear. He was holding on to you tightly as the both of you were so close to the end. You calling out to him sends waves through his body, but he is losing even more control of himself. Your calling out to him only sends him further into the pleasure. His grip around your neck tightens even more, as he pulls you closer, his forehead coming to rest on yours.
Both of you are extremely close and are moving together at the same pace. He can feel your breath coming out in short, sharp gasps. You both move together like there is only one body moving. You both have reached your peak now and are moving like machines now. The pace is too much, you calling out to him is too much.
Your breathing is his breath. Your heartbeat is his heartbeat. The pace has built to its peak and it’s pushing you both to the end. Luke is so close to the end now, he is feeling what you’re feeling. You both finally are at the absolute peak of pleasure. You both reach their finale simultaneously. Your bodies shake uncontrollably and his grip is the tightest it has been all night as he lets everything out at once.
He came inside of you, his groaning was the only warning as you felt him shoot up his release.
He nuzzled right up against you, wrapping his arm around your waist. He was still slowly thrusting inside, just warm white liquid started spilling out of you.
Both of their breathing settles down and their bodies relax. Luke is out of his trance now, his breathing is coming out heavy but no longer is it an animalistic growl. He’s calm now, but satisfied. The whole night had been a thrill for him. It was exactly what he wanted: someone to take complete control of him, which he didn’t even know he wanted. His grip around your neck loosens and he pulls away from you.
Luke finally finds himself again. He is looking right into her eyes and his voice is low but soft. He is looking right into her eyes and he gives a small grin. “It’s okay, I got you.” He mumbles, nuzzling his head right into her neck. “Don’t worry.”
He kisses your neck softly again, but his breathing is normal now. He isn’t losing control anymore. He was now just content with your presence. He snuggles closer to you, his voice is soft and the glow of his eyes is different than before. He is relaxed, calm, and content.
“Are you alright?” Luke thought he might’ve been too hard with the choking earlier, but based on your expression, he didn’t really have anything much to worry about.
Luke was content. His body movements were slow and smooth now. He had complete control of himself now. The pace of his thrusts had slowed down but he was still inside of you. His breath was still heavy, but not because it was intense pleasure anymore. It’s just because it was comfortable. The glow in his eyes was not the same as before, his eyes were full of content and pleasure. Instead of intense pleasure, it was more like satisfaction now. His hand was still tight around your waist, and he brought his other hand up to your hand, squeezing it softly.
Luke’s breaths were coming out in slow grunts and he was keeping a pace with no intensity to it whatsoever. It felt more like he was moving in slow motion. The two of you were finally just moving together now as if you were one single person. Neither of you were looking at anything else. Nothing else mattered in this moment but this pleasure you finally felt with each other.
“I’m okay.”
It was as if his body was just flowing smoothly with you. His hand is still tight at your waist and your hand is still holding him tightly. The feeling was a complete mix of pure bliss and complete pleasure. The two of you were enjoying each other’s touch so much that nothing else mattered at all. You were just locked together, moving in an endless rhythm now.
You were still letting out heavy breaths in mere seconds, one after the other. “This is disgusting.” You motioned to the wet damp ground that you both were lying on.
He laughs at you. You both were pretty disgusting. But it’s also somewhat funny that he didn’t care, your whole bodies are soaked and sticky. Luke’s laughs are soft and low now. He lifts up one of his hands to wipe the sweat off of his brow. He looks over at the ground and laughs again as he looks back at you. He lowered himself as he planted a kiss on your forehead, his hands slowly grazing upon your cheek.
“Look at us.” He laughs silently, keeping his voice low. He chuckles a little bit, the two of you are such a mess right now.
Luke laughs a little bit more, it’s funny to him how much of a mess they both are. The ground is totally soaked and sticky as is your body and his. You both are completely covered in your own bodily fluids. It’s quite the scene to take in all at once.
Luke’s laughter dies down slightly, though it’s still somewhat there as he just chuckles at the whole situation. He looks over at you and smiles a small and soft smile at you. He shakes his head slightly, just still finding it funny. The whole scene is just utterly ridiculous and disgusting.
“You think they’ll notice us missing and coming back all sweaty and disgusting?”
He laughs again slightly and his body shakes in amusement. The thought of them both coming back to camp in this state is a funny thought to him. The two of you are covered in your own sweat and fluids, it’s not exactly a pretty sight of the two of you. So much so, that people will notice at first glance.
“Let’s wash up a little by the lake.”
He nods his head. He doesn’t even really feel that sore right now. You really were covered in so much sweat and fluids. The thought of even being around other people makes him feel awkward. Your suggestion is good though, a good old rinse-off is just what you both need right now. He pulls you off of him and sat up.
“Pull up your pants, Castellan,” I commented, looking down at him as I sat up straight, brushing off the debris on my clothes.
He is still lying at your feet. He shakes his head and he nods you off of him. He stands up slowly and he laughs at your comment. His pants actually fell down further and they are hanging around his ankles. He pulls them up and zips them up.
You were being direct, and it cracked him up a little. He is completely covered in yours and now his own juices.
“I feel sticky.”
“You think you feel sticky?” He laughs again and shakes his head. He grabs your hand and he pulls you up off of the floor and holds you close to him. He takes a quick glance around at the surroundings before looking right back at you.
“Let’s find a place where we can wash off.” He says with a smirk on his face. His body is a hot mess and he can feel every bit of it. He didn’t even believe they could get this dirty, but they did. So you need to get cleaned up now, especially before any of the other campers notice the two of you. That would be absolutely horrific.
“Nobody can find out.”
He chuckles again and he nods his head. You were absolutely right about that. Nobody can find out about this, it would be so embarrassing. You both would go down in history as a complete disgrace if anyone found out.
“God, we’re so nasty.” He muttered, leading the way towards the lake.
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natlovesls2 · 2 months
Text
Hand Warmers
Lando x Fem!Reader
*ੈ✩‧₊˚warnings: swearing, mentions of boobs and touching them, super short, no use of y/n, I'm American (I think that should be a warning 🤷‍♀️ ), images used are not mine as are from pinterest, possible grammatical errors (its late and I have brain rot from little sleep)
*ੈ✩‧₊˚word count: 0.6k
*ੈ✩‧₊˚summary: its cold and Landos hands need to be warmed
.ೃ࿐request: Can you do a lando x reader
where reader doesn’t want to let go of his hand but she need to open something with both (or whatever you can think of) and she put his hand on top of her boob and something like that ??
Please if you have the time
*ੈ✩‧₊˚Note: Feel free to let me know if something is wrong or weird. Also feel free to request something
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Lando had been holding your hand hostage the whole day, refusing to let go despite the inconvenience. As the day progressed, his hold on your hand tightened. It was impossible to escape his hold, even as you ate your lunch, having to beg to be let go to use the bathroom. His only excuse was the freezing temperature, claiming that your hands were warmer than his and you had to help him warm up.
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The cold winter weather had taken over your apartment despite having closed the door immediately after waking in. It was more frigid than the average year, and the abundance of layers did nothing to keep you warm as you lay on the couch cuddled with your boyfriend. “I think we should turn the heater on.”
“I don’t want to get up; this is comfortable, plus your hands are warm,” Lando grumbled into the side of your neck, pulling you closer to himself to prevent you from leaving. 
“Don’t."
“What? I’m not doing anything. We can warm each other up. I don’t want to let you go,” his hold on your hands tightened, placing a few kisses on your neck, snuggling closer to you.
While Lando had always been clingy, more so during the cold winter days, this was a new extreme. His cold hands firmly gripped your own, a continued desperate attempt to keep you from leaving his side. "I promise to come back once the heater is turned on."
"Promise?"
"Pinky promise," you reassure him, feeling his grip loosen, and finally, you break free. You could feel his eyes on you, closely watching as you walked to the heater and turned it on. He was skeptical about the promise you had made. The way his eyes followed your every move proved that. 
"You're taking too long," he complained, voice whiny as he sat up in his spot, grabby hands reaching out in your direction. The slower you walked back to him, the more childlike he became. His pout only increased as he realized you were purposefully taking your time.
"You're being mean," he continued to whine, only stopping when you finally sat next to him again, hands immediately grabbing your own. He briefly let go of your hand to turn on the television, quickly grabbing and kissing them. 
"Don't you think you've held my hand enough?"
"No, I think I've held your hand for too little," he says, slightly pouting again, leaning forward to press a light kiss to your lips. This was always his tactic for getting what he wanted. The constant pouting and occasional kisses were well-known to you. It was almost expected from him, especially when things weren't going exactly the way he wanted them to. 
"Let go, Lando," you said, refusing to fall victim to his ploy– knowing that if you allowed him to get away with this, he would only use it against you. 
"Noooo," he said, voice high and whiny, squeezing your hand tighter, peppering your face with kisses, gently stroking your hands. 
"It's getting warmer in here," you struggle against him, letting out a sigh of relief as he finally lets go of your hands. This was a victory in your eyes, though you knew it would be a short-lived victory– Lando being a very persistent person. 
"I'm still cold," he says after a few minutes, resting his hand on your waist. 
“You’re annoying,” you say, moving his hands under your shirt and placing them on your breasts, shivering at the freezing touch, “You're fucking freezing.”
“Yeah, but I'm definitely getting warmer,” he gently squeezes your boobs, stealing their warmth for himself. 
"At my expense," you say, your body beginning to relax as Lando's hands warmed themselves between your breasts and bra. 
"You're the one who offered," he continues to softly but firmly massage and squeeze them, "I think these might be the best hand warmers."
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