Intro post?
I made this account for fun maybe? fun as in I just wanted to fuck around and vent a little into the void under an account that's not much connected to my other ones idrk. dont have much of an online presence really wanted to see how this will play / work out. even tho I already have an account on here that I use personally to gush about things cause I can't help it probs not gonna use this that much.... probably cause I'll forget this exists, anyways comma!
collective info about me:
💫 ✨ | Astral System | ✨💫
Either call me Astral or K!
They / Them ( NO plural prns / &!!! /srs I hate it fuck off people who use that )
Trans Non-binary Aroace Bodily Adult
Masc / Neutral, System, Alter, Human / Person
Proff Dx’ed w/ D.I.D. ( adult dx'es ) in recovery since 2018, dx’ed also w/ MDD, ASD & ADHD ( childhood dx'es ) [ not recovered ]
( I'm only saying this cause one of my parts may leak that info out by accident, dont know better dont have a consensus with privacy atm, and I would rather just say it now instead of worrying about it being outed later idrc if you think I'm faking or not I've been dx’ed for over 6 years now idc what rando’s on the internet think about me tbh )
❌ ❌ Other Info Never Disclosed ❌ ❌
DNI: Minors, NSFW shit, Queerphobes, Racists, Ableist, Pedo’s / Zoo’s, Proship / Anti’s discourse
Mspec “Lesbians” / “Gays”, Male “Lesbians” Queer ID’s based off people, Rad Inclusive, Transmed, BaB ( + all other queer exclus )
Any "System’s" ( No Matter What "Type", I dont want to see you fuckers fuck off with your “plural community” all of you are fucking bullshit ), “Endogenic System’s”, / “Mixed Origins System” / Tulpa, Pro “Endogenic” / Pro Non Traumagenic “Systems” Whatever Fucking “System Origin” You Fuckers Keep Coming Up w/
“Medically Recognized System” / “Dx”, Self Dx’ers, Pro Self Dx, “M.U.D.” / “M.U.I.”, ( Medically Unrecognized Disorders / Illnesses )
Anything on Pluralpedia! Any Discourse!
I dont wanna see it or you I will block you on sight. I dont care, i am not your friend I don’t want to be your friend leave me alone and out of this shit.
—
specific info about me:
K or Astral ( not giving you my full name )
They / Them, Fey / Fem, Ae / Aer ( + other neo’s )
Trans Non-binary Otherkin / Alterhuman Agender Aroace
Host of Few ( also not giving you their names who fucking does that? )
I'm an adult ( id w/ body age not getting closer than that )
interests / dislikes / triggers private fuck off idc I'm not trying to make friends here
I hyperfixate on a lot of things due to both having asd and adhd and it effects my life way too much it’s annoying af I actually fucking hate it… having both is a fucking mess istfg, also chronic depression that’s so cool who doesnt love that? been dealing with that one for years and it sucks it really sucks I dont wanna keep feeling this awful my entire life, but its not gonna stop for me i think atp.
having D.I.D. isnt something I am ever gonna get into specifically, cause why the fuck would I? why do people have the need to tell others about their extensive personal med hx "oh you have to know all about my / our "system" and everyone apart of it! and every single disorder I / we self dx'es myself / ourselves with too!" ( just had to put the plural pronouns cause that's how these people talk ik I've had personal experience with these kinda people ). do these people not understand anything about internet safety omfg do you not listen to yourself at all? you’re not going to know anything regarding my med hx that I havent already given you cause to be honest I dont trust any one of you with me and my fragmented self and you don't really need to know. my alter’s are not something I talk to anyone about online or irl really. my trauma also isnt something I am ever gonna talk about honestly me even typing all of this out is insane to me what is wrong with me….
credit: banner @/Suyasuyabi427 pfp @/muku_69.0
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If you're taking requests, could I request a hero x villain thing where the villain wakes up in the hero's house, totally confused, and he tries to ambush her when she arrives with food? (She has telekinetic abilities, which helps with a lot. I imagine her house would look like the Burrow from Harry Potter - a bunch of things fixing themselves and all that.) But if you aren't taking requests, feel free to ignore this. I've got plenty of your lovely stuff to read. :)
im sorry this is so late!! thank you for the request, i enjoyed this one :)
When the villain finally regains consciousness, the first thing he notices is the scratchy blanket thrown over him. The second thing he notices, when he opens his eyes, is that the blanket is not his. Nor is the house he’s in.
It’s a world away from his home downtown—a low coffee table sits next to the little sofa he’s on, decorated with thick books that have clearly never been read and a blue vase that’s collecting more dust than flowers. The low afternoon sun streams in through wide windows and envelopes the table and chairs in the corner in a warm orange, the speckled colours of a light catcher draping over the woollen rug nearby. The villain wishes he lived in a place like this, but he’d never dream of being civilian enough to need it.
He has no recollection of getting here. Where was he last? Did he get entangled with a civilian somewhere? What the hell did he do to end up here?
The villain is so caught up in scraping his memory for a clue that he doesn’t hear the door squeaking open behind him. What he does hear is the gentle “oh, good, you’re—”
Now, panic is not a good look on a villain. But frankly, waking up in an unfamiliar home and being faced with a stranger that is approaching from behind gives the villain some instincts that’ve probably saved his life more than once.
He lurches up from the sofa with a snarl, earning a rather startled yelp from the newcomer and toppling the coffee table vase to the floor. The blanket he’d attempted to throw off in his attack has curled itself around him like a snake, and he gets no further than the back of the sofa before it trips him over.
“Oh, sorry!” the person says lightly. “That was a little more intense than I intended, but I suppose I wasn’t expecting you to leap at me either.”
The villain, trying not to let onto his embarrassment at this turn of events, glances up. A hero, one he kind of recognises, is holding a tray upside-down and looking back at him. No, actually, the tray isn’t upside-down. The villain is just on the floor.
“That won’t help you heal,” she continues with a short laugh. “Come on, lets get you back on the sofa.”
The villain goes to throw himself at her with nothing but his nails, but the blanket is wrapped around him unnaturally tight. The hero settles on the armchair opposite as it curls around his shoulders, hefting him to his feet before shoving him back onto the sofa.
“What the hell is going on?” is all the villain can think to say.
The hero smiles brightly, unbothered, and sets her tray on the coffee table between them before turning her attention to her shattered vase. “You were a little worse for wear by the time I got to you,” she offers unhelpfully. “Honestly, I was a little worried. You’ve been out for some time.”
The villain watches blankly as the vase picks itself up off the floor, hovering a few inches off the ground to meticulously piece itself back together. None of it would’ve clicked if he didn’t clock the hero staring at it like it’ll disappear the moment she looks away.
“You’re telekinetic,” he says flatly.
The hero turns back to him as the vase sets itself back on the coffee table. Its perfect presentation slips as the hero lets go of it, several pieces sliding out of formation and dropping to the table. “Maybe.”
She gives him a coy smile. The blanket still has a tight hold of him, keeping him sat on the much too comfortable sofa. The sun is moving, throwing some of her face into wild yellows that brighten her face more than a hero deserves. God, the villain hates all of this.
“You got a bad wound in your battle.” The hero gestures to her side vaguely. “You need time to recover, so I would suggest you stay here until you’re better.”
“I’d much rather be at home than trapped here with you,” the villain snaps.
“Oh.” The hero tilts her head in a way that the villain knows isn’t genuine. “Well, you shouldn’t move around too much. Do you have someone at home who can look after you?”
The bitter silence that follows brings another smug smile to her lips. “Then you’ll stay here,” she says after a moment. “My house will make sure of it.”
“Can you tell your house to lay off? Your blanket is trying to strangle me.”
The hero laughs brightly, and as she does the blanket’s vice-like grip loosens slightly. “I brought you some breakfast, by the way.” She gestures to the tray, which the villain now notices has a bowl of soup and several pieces of bread on it. “It’s proven difficult to feed someone that’s unconscious, so please do make sure you eat something.”
She gets to her feet before the villain can think of anything to dispute her. “I’m just going to clean up in the kitchen. I’ll be back in twenty minutes.” She points to the tray. “I expect that to have gone down when I get back.”
With one last smile she turns on her heel and lets herself out.
The villain stares at the closed door for a moment before turning his gaze back to the steaming bowl in front of him. For god’s sake, it does smell good. He takes it in his lap, nabbing a piece of bread with him and dunking it into the soup.
The vase is slowly disintegrating, pieces dropping out of place every-so-often. The villain watches it like entertainment as he eats, but eventually it starts to get on his nerves. A quick scavenge of the hero’s drawers finds him a tiny tube of glue.
All of this is a pain in the ass. At least this gives him something to do with his hands.
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i wish there was a workbook/zine/other resource for chronically suicidal ppl with advice about how to gauge what a "crisis" looks like *specifically* for chronically suicidal suicidal ppl. so many of the mental health resources i see use "crisis" almost interchangeably with suicidality, where suicidality always represents a crisis/tipping point/"the worst things can get." but suicidality alone is not a good gauge of crisis for chronically suicidal ppl! those of us surviving chronic suicidality might need to get more specific about what a crisis would look like for us, whether that's passive suicidality moving into active suicidality or it's certain levels of planning for death being done (ie, writing a note/buying a means of suicide/giving away belongings).
i am well-aware of the pitfalls of comparing physical illnesses to mental illnesses (and also aware of the false dichotomy between the two), but i often think of how ppl living with chronic physical pain talk about having a different "pain scale" compared to people who live without chronic pain — for chronically ill ppl, the level of pain that would drive them to go to the ER is much higher than someone who doesn't live with chronic pain, bc they're aware of the limitations of what the medical system can do for them and also how much medical trauma they risk by going. i think something similar occurs with chronically suicidal ppl, where a "crisis" that might drive someone who is not typically suicidal to the ER is for us just another day, or just a bad day. but then i think we are left without the tools to articulate what a crisis actually constitutes for us, and in what situations the potential psych trauma of presenting at a medical institution would outweigh the trauma of suffering another crisis alone. or in what situations it's worth it to reach out to friends/peers/other supports if you "know" you're able to weather this crisis the way you've weathered all the others, even though you're alone & in distress. when the baseline becomes just "staying alive," & you know you can achieve that, despite the immense amounts of pain it takes to do so, how do you convince yourself to reach out? when is the level of your pain worth "worrying others" over when you know you can stay alive through it?
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my intrusive 911LS thought of the evening: what exactly made Paul decide to even come down to Austin to interview for the job with the 126? when you see him during his interview he’s pretty closed off, not really interested at all (posture leaned back, arms crossed, face pretty unimpressed in general):
and when he turns the job down initially, he’s so matter-of-fact about not taking it:
but he still came all the way to texas from chicago for this interview. and sure, maybe it’s similar to marjan who just wanted to visit SXSW (iconic of her honestly) and he was just getting a vacation out of it. but personally, I like to think that the ~super spidey instincts~ he has told him that something about this interview could change his life.
maybe it could give him a fresh start somewhere new, give him a new found family of his choosing:
a place of belonging with a group of people who love him for who he is and support him like he deserves:
… (and double the salary, get that cash paul, you stud!)
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