Cold outside.
“Levi, whatcha making?”
“Mm.”
-
It was a question you asked him everyday. Everyday when you caught him back in the couch with his crochet tools, his hands moving as he looped the hook one after another. And it was a question he ignored everyday.
But you watched eagerly. Even without two fingers, how he managed to keep working so effortlessly and flawlessly was mind-blowing to you, because the last time you attempted it, you ended up with only a huge mess of yarn. Yet, he did it as easily as if he’d been doing it for years.
After the war ended, the two of you found yourself with these huge stretched periods of free time that none of you know what to do with. It was specially harder for him, living his whole life constantly working, never taking a second to relax. Work is all he ever knew. Now that it was all over, he was overwhelmed how absurdly long days are. Not that he actually minded, he absolutely loved having more hours to spend with you. But it was the feeling of uselessness that took over him. With his physical state, there wasn’t a lot of physical activities he could do to keep himself busy either.
That’s when you started experimenting. You started trying out things with him, cooking, reading, sewing (He was good at all of them) but surprisingly it was crochet that stuck with him. (Despite his initial protests that it was for old people and how it doesn’t suit him.) So, since then, you often found him sitting on the couch, fiddling with his yarn and hooks and whatsonot. He’s even made a lot of little household things and so, though he gets embarrassed whenever he sees you actually using them. You adored them though, they were beautiful.
It was only recently he started working on a certain something. Something he refused to tell you or even let you see it. And curiosity ate you up from inside, (Because what could it possibly be that he has to hide from you?), but you always gave up after trying for a few minutes, because first of all, the man was absolutely stubborn and pestering Levi usually never ended well.
But you asked the question everyday.
“Are you ever gonna tell me what you’re making?”
“Maybe. If you stop bugging me.”
“Is it for me?’’ You asked, grinning. “Is that why you’re shy?”
He never answered, only shifted his work a little more out of your sight.
You still watched him though. How could you not? It was such an elegant sight, the way he has his eyes all narrowed in concentration, fingers working carefully. Sometimes, he does this thing where he bites down on his lip, and you don’t think he even realizes that, but holy shit, did it get you feeling all gooey.
But then again,everything Levi Ackerman does has you feeling that way.
-
“What’s taking you so long?” You called out, rubbing your hands together. It was the end of December, it only started snowing since last weekend. To say the weather was freezing would be an understatement, Levi practically had to drag you out of the covers every morning. And even now, all bundled up in jackets and sweaters and gloves and socks, you could still feel the cold poking your skin. You puffed out little foggy breaths, watching them as they faded away.
“You’re shivering, idiot.”
Hand clasped on your shoulder, turning you around. Before you even got to blink, Levi was wrapping something warm around your neck clumsily.
"It's cold outside." He muttered under his breath as an explanation.
You let out a sigh of relief almost immediately, soaking in the bundle of heat. It was so soft, fluffy, warm and…
A scarf?
Your hands reached out to feel it, and it was as you thought.
You looked up and Levi was already turning away, grabbing your hand and tugging you forward.
“Wait!” You stopped him, pulling back your hands.
“What? Weren’t you the one eager to go for a walk?” He turned around, looking at you, confused.
“But..” You trailed off, looking down at the white wool, fingers still feeling the softness. “Did you..did you make this Levi?”
Levi was silent for a few seconds, then gave the slightest nod, his eyes on the ground.
Your jaw dropped.
“No way.”
“...do you not like it?” He glanced up, voice timid. Almost as if he’s scared you’ll say no.
You stared at him in disbelief.
“Are you kidding?” You blinked, you were feeling so many things, you couldn’t even begin to sort them out. “Levi..that’s what you’ve been doing? This is for me?”
“You’re the one wearing it, aren’t you?”
You swallowed, choking on your emotions. Levi showing affection such way was so rare, but when he really did, they were always things you never even thought of. When he did something, he always gave his most.
You brought up one hand to wipe the little tears that formed on your eyes. “Oh wow, I’m crying.” You let out a little laugh. “I might start bawling,.”
“What the–” He frowned, reaching out to you but hand pausing midair, unsure what to do. “I’m…sorry?”
“Oh, Levi, it’s not that.” You let out a half snort. This absolute clueless idiot.
“Well, you’re acting weird. Did you like it or not?”
“I..” You inhaled. “Levi, you fool. I love it.”
And Levi exhaled, his shoulders finally relaxing. “That’s..” He mumbled, glancing at you. “That’s good then.”
And you stared at him for a few seconds, relief washed over his features. His cold gray eyes holding a warmth that was only ever reserved for you. The tips of his ear and nose were red, as it always was when he was flustered or embarrassed. There were flakes of snow on his hair, the night breeze blowing his bangs away from his face, ruining what was always so carefully combed.
He looked like an angel. Something ethereal sent from the heavens above.
It was so surreal, you had to pinch yourself.
“Ow.” You mumbled.
He was quick to grab your hand. “Now, what the hell was that for?” He demanded.
“Huh?” You looked up, still in a daze. “Just..” And your face broke into a stupid, stupid smile. You suddenly felt so unbelievably gleeful. “Just really happy.”
He wasn’t sure what one had to do with the other, but he stared at you. Unpredictable, always so. But it was so easy to make you happy. It makes him feel sometimes as though he doesn't deserve this.
Even after so many years of being with you, your smile had never failed to tug his heart. And suddenly, he felt like that young teenager he was when he first met you, when he couldn’t even greet you casually without stuttering over his words. Just as flustered, just as stupid, just as shy.
Next thing you know, he was pulling you by the very scarf, leaning down to press his lips against yours, trying to tell you all the things he never really had the courage to say out loud. That he was so grateful. And he wants to say thank you, thank you for staying alive, for not leaving, for giving him a chance, for always sticking with him, for giving him a taste of what living feels like.
And he's telling you I love you over and over, he hopes this is enough. Enough for you to convey how his heart feels because his tongue geys tied up everytime he tries. He wishes he could burn the words against your lips. Because he's always so scared that you might never really understand how grateful he is and how important you are.
"I love you."
You pulled away to breathe, stumbling out the words, exhaling out a cloud of fog. You looked up, wide eyes reassuring him you know. Reassuring him that It's okay if he never really says it, but you know.
“I love this and I love you.”
Levi gulped and nodded, hoping to let you know that he felt the same. Except he was a coward and you were not.
It was enough for you though. You shot a bright grin, cheeks all red. Giddily, you grabbed his hand, pulling him along.
“Easy.” He said. “You’ll slip.”
You hummed, waving away his words. “I’m never taking it off by the way.”
“Yeah sure.”
“I’m serious. And I’m going to show it off to everyone.”
“Uh-huh.”
And then you blabbered some more nonsense things that he couldn’t really focus on as he was more busy watching you and the way your eyes shone.
“I love you,” He whispers quietly to himself.
Maybe one day, he’ll finally be able to say that out loud.
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