#otp: i’m mental about you

[soloorganaas]

thinking about how sirius and remus would find each other in every universe. clutching my chest. softly crying

[novelbear]

midnight rambling - some late night dialogue for your otp 

prompt list by @novelbear (had to take a mini mental health break haha, posts should be coming back soon <3)

“you’ve been tossing and turning for the last forty minutes. what’s up?”

 “what do you think you’d be doing right now if we never met?” 

 “are you asleep?” “...no.” 

 “do you think we’d still be a couple in an alternate universe?” “go to bed.” “what if we already got married and have five kids.” “go to bed.” 

 “i can’t sleep...” “me either.” 

 “it’s five a.m.” “we talked all night?” 

 “i’m still worried about tomorrow...” “do you want to talk and try to get your mind off of it?”

 “fine, i get your cereal-soup argument, but there’s nothing you can say to convince me that a hot dog is a damn sandwich.” 

 “you know when i was little, i always thought my toys would come alive when i’m not around like they would in Toy Story. i still think they do.” 

 “babe, i love you, but we both need to get up early.”

 “freeze. i know you’re not wearing socks and trying to go to sleep right now.” 

 “i’m cold, can we cuddle?” 

 “what if aliens think we’re the aliens.” “the hell are you talking about-” 

 “sitting here with you like this is nice...” 

 “i’m wondering why i’m freezing and i see you’ve stolen the entire blanket.”

 “do you want to know what [name] told me today?” 

 “so then- oh. you’re asleep.”  

[absynthe--minded]

Hello! Can I respectfully request the promised lecture and Powerpoint about Fingon/Maedhros? I'll be honest here... I just do not see it, and I truly do want to understand. There are other relationships in the Legendarium that I really do think Tolkien deliberately and unequivocally coded as queer, and I've used all those same examples you list to back up my arguments. And I do see the parallels with Luthien and Beren (just as Sam/Frodo has parallels with that). But otherwise, I don't see a lot of queer coding. Which is not to say that I think it's a bad ship, just that I don't really see much in the text to support it or see much indication that it's what Tolkien intended. I would love to be convinced, though! I swear I'm not trying to bash Russingon or provoke anything. It seems like you have put a lot of thought and research into this, and I'm honestly curious, because this is a ship that has always puzzled me a bit.

First, thank you for asking! It’s always a pleasure to talk about my boys and my OTP to end all OTPs

I want to start what’s probably going to be a long series of self-reblogs by saying something that’s going to be important in the long haul: there is a difference between “I personally interpret this in a way that enhances the story, and it’s canonically compliant” and “I think and will seriously argue that Russingon is supported canonically by things that explicitly exist to point toward it being more than friendship”. The line can get kind of fuzzy, but it does exist, and the foundation of any good queer analysis is recognizing that.

So before I get into Sarah Waters, Mary Renault, and what the British legal system has to do with any of this, I’m going to make three lists.

Stuff That Probably Doesn’t Mean Anything, But That Is Fun To Examine From A Shipping Perspective:

Maedhros wears a copper circlet, Fingon wears gold in his braids

Maedhros abdicated the throne in favor of Fingon entering the line of succession

Maedhros stepped into a position of military authority after Fingon took the throne, working closely with him specifically to attack Angband after the Bragollach

Fingon is stated by Tolkien himself to have never married nor had biological children, and Maedhros never married nor had biological children either

Stuff That Is Ambiguous In Intent, But Is More Significant Than The Above:

Fingon clearly still cared enough about Maedhros that despite probably not knowing whether or not he burned the ships, he set out to rescue him alone in a display of loyalty to the rival royal line that put his priorities firmly in the “this nér whom I love” camp. It’s worth noting that Maedhros’s family are the reason that his sister-in-law is dead, the reason many of his own people froze to death, and the reason his brother is dead. Maedhros’s rescue, and forgiving him, is more important to Fingon than any of that. Why?

Morgoth’s battle plan for the Nirnaeth Arnoediad (as relayed in the Grey Annals in The War of the Jewels) involved forcing Maedhros and Fingon apart and trying to take both of them down simultaneously. Fingon was of course ultimately killed by Balrogs, and Maedhros avoided being killed by allies-turned-spies, but the goal was to keep them apart and incapacitate them both. Why?

Maedhros’s mental stability, willingness to exist in a society, passion for fighting Morgoth, and desire to curtail his brothers’ worst impulses all evaporate after Fingon’s death and Fingon’s death specifically. Why?

Maedhros and Fingon maintain a relationship with each other that is significantly more important to their actions than similar relationships between Finwëan cousins. Aredhel is never recorded as prioritizing Celegorm to the same extent, and Finrod only goes on a hunting trip with Maedhros and Maglor after things between their families are patched up. Why are they different from others in this way?

Stuff That Actually Matters In Analysis:

Fingon and Maedhros, Beren and Lúthien, and Frodo and Sam all share very nearly the same story at a crucial point. All three feature a situation where a rescuing party feared the one they loved was dead, discovered they were actually held prisoner by Sauron, went alone into peril, and used a song to find who they searched for successfully. Both Maedhros and Beren lost a hand in the course of their journey. Frodo lost a finger, and Sam cut the hand from the orc whipping him. All three pairs were rescued by at least one of the great eagles. Sam and Frodo have on-page declarations of love. Beren and Lúthien are the self-inserts of the author and his wife. This connection is not accidental; the author explicitly compares Frodo and Sam to Beren and Lúthien on the Quest for the Silmaril in the text of The Two Towers. If Maedhros and Fingon are being linked thematically with the central romantic relationship of the Legendarium, there is a reason why.

The Grey Annals tells us that Fingon rescued Maedhros “and their love was renewed”. That’s a direct quote from the text, not an exaggeration. This is more canonical proof of love than we get for some married couples (notably Fëanor and Nerdanel, who are never stated to love one another in the text).

Laws and Customs Among the Eldar explicitly states that half-first-cousins are allowed to marry without it being considered incestuous, so long as their parents aren’t close. That seems like an extremely odd standard, until you remember that there is an unusually close pair of half-first-cousins whose parents don’t get along.

(Obligatory note: the published Silmarillion does state that Idril and Maeglin are too close to marry. The published Silmarillion’s treatment of Maeglin is also almost certainly invented by Christopher Tolkien - Maeglin in the drafts written by JRRT himself is wildly different than how he appears when Chris writes him. Tolkien himself avoided making any such statements about cousin marriage and Turgon opposed Maeglin marrying Idril because he didn’t think it was a love marriage.)

The Grey Annals also discusses one of the histories of the green elfstone that Aragorn receives from Galadriel as a wedding gift - in this draft, it was made by Fëanor, and Maedhros gave it to Fingon. When Aragorn receives it, it’s been set in a brooch in the form of an eagle. Here we have another thing that passed between Maedhros and Fingon that is explicitly linked to romantic relationships between two characters echoing Beren and Lúthien. This is once again not accidental.

Fingon’s harp is almost certainly a reference to the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, which also heavily inspired Lúthien pleading for Beren in Mandos. Yet again, we have deliberate intent by the author to position this relationship in a light that reflects romance above all else. You could even go further and point out that there are parallels between Thingol’s hostility toward Beren and Fëanor’s distrust and hatred of the Nolofinwëans. Túrin and Beleg, who get to kiss on the page, are also echoes of Russingon - early bliss marred by a kinslaying, a hopeless quest alone armed with a bow, an injury that results from freeing the captive party.

The fact of the matter is that none of this is accidental. Tolkien was deliberate in his worldbuilding, his parallels, his setups and his plot choices. There is a reason that Fingon and Maedhros are linked to so much romance, a reason that they are positioned on equal footing with other more clearly queercoded ships, a reason that it’s their relationship that shapes the First Age. When you accept that none of it happened accidentally, that allows you to broaden your scope, and look at Tolkien’s inspirations, his life, his friendships, cultural influences, and why he might have been so cagey about his M/M ships when they aren’t just important but vital to the text. (After all, Sam and Frodo’s happy ending comes after Sam’s time in heteronormativity, and Túrin and Beleg fall apart in a similar fashion.)

It’s just - it’s not crazy or insane or Shipper Goggles to say “these relationships matter, and the stories actually don’t make sense without them”. That’s all.

(Next time, if you like, we’re going to talk about historical fiction, and there will be lesbians.)

[yukidragon]

So... what do you think of a concept of Jack's Sunshine who is a Magical Girl?

This ask instantly gave me the image of Alice as a magical girl and OMG the potential of that is delicious. Thank you for sharing this plot bunny with me so I can totally run away with it!

The timing is also fitting since I recently watched the Miraculous Ladybug’s latest season ending and special and, uh… I’ve had… thoughts. (Yes, Miraculous Ladybug counts as a magical girl show.)

Before I begin, I want to plug the SnaccPop Studios patreon since it’s almost certain that I’m going to wind up using the magical girl Jack picture Sauce drew at some point in this ramble, and possibly other SDJ art. Please support the team if you can, and remember don't share anything privately posted on the patreon!

I also want to toss out potential content warnings just in case. This post will contain mention of PTSD, child soldiers, body image issues, cheating, toxic relationships, and the general erotic/horror elements that are part of the Something’s Wrong with Sunny Day Jack package. I’m not sure where I’m going to take this, but chances are there’s going to be some spice involving my OTP and some mention of Jack’s yandere obsession and the extremes he’ll go to keep his sunshine.

Remember, this is an 18+ Adults Only fandom! Minors do not interact!

 The “Magic” of Childhood

The magical girl genre is iconic, and it’s also been deconstructed in different ways with certain anime like Puella Magi Madoka Magica. Given Something’s Wrong with Sunny Day Jack is, in a way, deconstructing lost media and clown mascots into an eroge horror game, it feels fitting to go with that sort of spirit with this sort of crossover as well.

In this case, sunshine would have probably been someone who was a magical “girl” in their childhood/teen years, as that is usually the age range of magical girls doing their magical shenanigans while they learn life lessons and mature. Whether or not MC was actually a girl during this time period is, of course, up to the individual to decide for their backstory. After all, who cares if the magical girls in the story are actually girls? There are an increasing number of stories about magical boys in this genre, for example, and we all know non-binary folks can go anywhere they darn well please.

Given the tone of the game and MC’s state, I think it would be perfectly fitting if they are still a disillusioned adult who wants to abandon all things nostalgic. In this case, their past magical shenanigans would be included in the childish things that they want to forget. Heck, it’s more reason to want to forget if they felt like their childhood was taken from them because they had to fight monsters in secret all the time in flashy clothes and transformation sequences, even having to go as far as to save the world from utter destruction.

Then of course add in the complication that Ian and his cheating presents on MC’s mental state. Magical girl shows very often have romance as one of the key aspects of the story, the star-crossed lovers of the lead magical girl hopelessly pining over the prince charming of her dreams~ Only, in this case, “Prince Charming” betrayed their “destined romance” by getting horny and sleeping with someone else. Bonus points if these two were reincarnated destined lovers or the like, ala Usagi and Mamoru from Sailor Moon. I mean, wouldn’t that be a kick in the teeth!

In this sort of AU, the romance with Ian and the magical “girl” adventures MC experienced would be heavily tied to their childhood and teenage years. In a sense, they both represent the MC’s youth, for good and for ill. In the present day, MC is dealing with the aftermath of the love of their life cheating on them, being isolated and alone, and carrying the baggage of their fight to save the world, which robbed them of their childhood. They’re probably extra exhausted if they still have to occasionally transform and fight monsters even in the present day. They have to juggle adult responsibilities on top of the fate of a world, working a thankless job that doesn’t pay enough with a duty that pays nothing at all. They’d probably be even more of a penny pincher in this AU.

Jack entering into the picture would be a very interesting wrinkle to their life. Given MC has faced a lot of supernatural and magical shenanigans, I imagine they’d be more inclined to believe that, yes, this clown that suddenly appeared one day and insists on being their best friend is real. Now they have another magical mascot in their life, only this one isn’t some cute little talking animal. I mean, heck, they might even be more inclined to just roll with it after having to live with a magical mascot bossing them around for years.

Not that I imagine MC would necessarily let Jack in on their secret identity, especially if they’re trying to leave the magical girl business in the past.

I can imagine Jack would be stunned to learn of MC’s secret double life, especially if he saw them during their flashy magical transformation sequence. Magical girl anime wasn’t really a thing in the US in the early 80’s, so Jack isn’t going to be familiar with the tropes, even if there were some in-universe TV shows about it. (I mean, in Sailor Moon, the Sailor V show was a thing, so even in the magical girl universe there were magical girl shows, so…)

Of course, I have a feeling that most MCs wouldn’t be interested in watching any TV shows based on the fictional or real life exploits of magical girls after growing up living that life. It’d probably be a bit too real for them.

Man, wouldn’t it be awkward if during MC’s teen years, when in the thick of living the life as secret protector of the world, they had a best friend who was absolutely obsessed with the magical girl genre? They have to deal with all the drama of being a magical “girl” and listen to people ramble about it even when off the clock. I can see Ian totally being all over magical girl anime, especially when there are real life examples  around.

This gives me the image of MC, sitting in their childhood bedroom with Ian, having to play dumb and smile innocently while Ian gushes about being saved from a monster by a magical “girl” without ever knowing that the person he’s talking about is sitting right next to him. Talk about awkward!

Though it would also be a potential moment for romance. Ian talks up his savior and gushes over how cool they were, and MC gets to feel butterflies at hearing themselves praised so much… even if Ian thinks he’s talking about a different person.

A pity Ian had to taint those sweet memories by cheating, huh?

Back to the present with Jack. Once he finds out his sunshine is going out there battling monsters, saving the world… well, there’s definitely going to be mixed feelings. On the one hand, that’s amazing! It does go to show just how special his sunshine really is. On the other hand, MC is risking their life and possibly getting injured on a regular basis because of this duty of theirs. That’s not even adding in the more unsettling magical girl deconstructions and how that power might come at a cost…

Jack, in general, wants to try and make things easier for MC, and make sure that he is needed by them. Any sort of occupation or secret life they have makes no difference on this fact. However, I think he would want to make sure to reveal that he knows their secret only when the time is right, when he’s sure it’s not going to chase them away from him

So chances are Jack would nudge MC in the direction of wanting to tell him. He’ll show them that they can trust him with any secret, help them with any problem, especially if it’s important to them. He’ll take care of them, no matter what they want to do. He’s there for them… forever.

Until MC lets Jack in on their secret, he could secretly help them. Maybe he can hunt down evil doers and scare those nasty monsters away, maybe even convince the villains to stop creating monsters that put his sunshine at risk. It’s not exactly in character for Sunny Day Jack to want to hurt anyone, but he’s stopping the bad guys! For his sunshine! So they don’t get hurt! The bad guys too dangerous to be allowed to run around hurting people and trying to take away his sunshine by killing or capturing them…

Any sort of magical mascot MC has might wind up interfering with Jack and his plans, or maybe they too will be suckered in by his silver tongue and sweet words. It all depends, really. I imagine with their power, they would be able to see and hear him like MC has, which adds a whole extra dynamic to the relationship.

Hell, Jack could potentially convince the mascot to give him magical powers too, ala this gorgeous piece of art drawn by Sauce.

Look at Jack, all sparkly and magical, with such beautiful colors and design. He’s going to fight for love and his sunshine and triumph over anyone who would dare try to take his sunshine away.

If Jack becomes a magical “girl” too, well, then his sunshine can for sure share their secret with him without worry! It’ll be just the two of them protecting each other and the world. He’ll keep MC safe for sure with his new powers.

And make sure no one takes his sunshine away, even if that means making his magical clothes a little less colorful and a lot more bloody.

Gotta love how Sauce can create such delicious tonal whiplash with their lovely art. Jack makes for a chilling yandere magical girl, don't you think?

Like any good protagonist with magical girl powers, Jack would make sure to protect his sunshine, and even without powers he would want to keep them safe. It doesn’t matter if they have a secret double life. They can share all their burdens with him. No one has to know about their secret identity except for him. It just means their bond is even more special than it already was.

Of course… if MC is keeping Jack at a distance, or interested in someone else, that would create extra conflict. MC would likely be more aware that Jack is an unknown entity and be more wary of him even as they accept his existence and presence in their life as something real. If they choose someone else to pursue romantically, well… that’s a problem for Jack regardless of the universe.

If Jack does manage to get himself some magical girl powers, he might have a whole new arsenal of tools to get rid of his rivals in a magical and flashy way. Heck, if he learns how the bad guys transform people into monsters, he might have a way to get rid of them in a way that is seen as virtuous. There’s all sorts of twisted paths that could be taken with this sort of AU, especially when giving a yandere even more power.

Really, a lot of this depends on the details about the MC’s powers, the mascot they have, what they’re fighting, and if they’re still fighting even as an adult. With that thought in mind, let’s get a little more specific in the way I would personally tackle the idea of Alice being a magical girl.

Magical Girl Alice

The idea of Alice as a magical girl tickles me greatly, especially given the fact that magical girls are always super skinny. I mean, there’s a running joke about the Sailor Moon art style and how long and skinny their legs are. Magical girls don’t tend to appear in plus size unless it’s as the punchline of a joke. It adds a lot of possibilities, and the potential to tackle public perception to the cute stereotypical magical girl archetype.

Needless to say, someone like Alice would have a difficult time as a magical girl for many reasons. She already had a hard enough time being responsible as the oldest child of the King family and taking care of Ian without adding in her duties as a magical warrior for justice.

I can imagine it happening suddenly one day in the typical way these stories usually start, when an entity appeared in the form of a cute rabbit - Honey Bunny.

Yes, I had to use Honey Bunny for the role of magical girl mascot. I mean, who else would fit that role as Alice’s adorable non-human sidekick? In this case, it was a magical entity that took over her puppet and has a similar personality to her SunnyTime Town counterpart. In a way, Alice's issues with speaking were a blessing, as no one looked twice at Alice conversing with her “puppet.” In fact, people were amazed that she had developed some really impressive ventriloquist skills!

Alice has always gone out of her way to help people, just this took that desire to an extreme. As a kid, she was excited to become a hero for justice, and with magical powers to boot. It was so cool to transform into an identity that no one recognized, beating down the wicked monsters and saving innocent people.

Well… in theory. Naturally, the first time Alice actually had to face down a monster born from someone’s negative emotions, it was a lot harder than she thought. The whole magical girl gig was harder than advertised, but Honey Bunny helped her get through it. Besides, she needed to do it. No one else could, and if no one stepped up, the world would be lost.

Alice would have shared her secret with her family, but Honey Bunny always stressed the importance of keeping things a secret. No one must know - not her family and not her best friend Ian, even if he’s crushing on the mysterious magical girl who saved him from the wicked monster his mother had been transformed into one day. If they knew, then the bad guys could find out the truth from exploiting their loved ones’ negative emotions. If that happened then she and everyone she knew was in danger, and the world could be doomed.

Quite a lot of pressure on a kid, don’t you think?

Alice had to learn how to be independent, a lone warrior of justice, taking down bad guys. Sometimes she managed to get help, but it didn’t last forever. Perhaps she did eventually get a superhero team in her teens, which would’ve been a breath of fresh air. She had someone to lean on who understood this destiny that they were burdened with.

It did create this sort of divide between Alice and anyone not part of this magical girl group. This secret and weight on all of them was so big, too heavy. Others couldn’t understand… for the sake of the world.

I was going to say this caused a divide between Alice and Ian, but then I thought of Ian in his bunny costume and, well… Ian would make a cute magical girl, don’t you think?

If Ian was in on this secret double life, it would add more reason for them to cling to each other, especially if it was only the two of them without anyone else to depend on. It’d be like Ladybug and Chat Noir against the world, a whirlwind romance for the ages…

Well… until Ian let it go to his head so that he could get some head.

In typical magical girl story fashion, it took a while before Alice and Ian managed to get in a relationship. There were plenty of near-misses and misunderstandings due to the double life Alice led until Ian joined it. So many outings together had to be canceled at the last minute or interrupted because Alice had to sneak away to save people.

It was the end of high school when Ian got his powers too in a dramatic incident where the world and Alice’s life were hanging in the balance. This is one of those season finale climax moments where everything is on the line and they came a hair’s breadth from everything going horribly, horribly wrong.

Naturally, this made Ian and Alice’s bond, which had been waning due to her double-life, suddenly a whole lot stronger. Trauma bonding is pretty high for young people who need to cling to each other to survive after all…

Alice used her experience to help Ian get used to his role, though he had a much harder time juggling his double life. His mom was a big problem, constantly wanting to know where he was and what he was doing. In the end, he had to give back the powers Honey Bunny gave him because he didn’t see himself as worthy of them anymore. He also just couldn’t handle the pressure, not like Alice could.

Still, the two of them were close because Ian knew Alice’s secret and could help her make excuses to sneak off to save people.

The college era changed everything. The big bad Alice had been fighting for years was finally defeated at long last. She had thematically graduated from being a magical girl. She could finally live a normal life and figure out a dream of her own beyond saving the world.

But… Alice didn’t know what to do. Sure she thought about her future beyond being a magical girl off and on, but fighting to save the world and juggling her personal life with these secrets and lies took up so much of her mental energy. She was exhausted and wound up bouncing around in college.

In typical magical girl story fashion, the protagonist got together with her love interest in the end. Alice and Ian were a couple, so close and in love. With Alice not knowing what to do with this future that was open to infinite possibilities, she let Ian take the lead in guiding their futures, trying to get into acting alongside him.

Of course, much like in the normal universe, Alice got pushback. Though she’s a magical warrior for justice, she’s still chubby. Her physical abilities are better than the average person even in civilian mode, but bodies have a tendency to want to be a particular shape, and for her, that’s bigger than society wants her to be.

Much like in Miraculous Ladybug, Alice has some influence on how she appears when transformed. Will and subconscious desire strongly affect it, as well as creating that special aura that makes people unable to identify the magical girl with the pigtails as the same person as the girl with the same pigtails and hair color who was standing there only a couple minutes before. When Alice first started out, she was more or less herself, but fluffier, more colorful, covered in frills and glitter. She had the young magical girl flare and charm, just plus sized.

Unfortunately, as Alice’s body image issues manifested, getting mocked both by her peers and even enemies, she started subconsciously wanting to be smaller. She saw her ideal self as those skinny magical girls on TV, and it reflected in her transformed mode. It wasn’t an instant change, more like a gradual transition as though the creators behind the series got worried about having a plus sized magical girl and made her gradually slimmer until she looked more “on model” for the genre.

By the time Alice was a teenager, her transformed mode was the typical skimpy, but curvy, magical girl archetype. She didn’t look anything like herself, and there was no chance of mistaking the two of them for the same person. She wanted to look this way in reality, so when she had free time she worked out more and ate less. It was very unhealthy, and Honey Bunny had to work hard to keep her from developing an eating disorder. If Alice wouldn’t take care of herself for her own sake, then she had to do it to have the power to save the world.

The relationship between Honey Bunny and Alice is a deep friendship, but it’s a bit complicated. After all, it was Honey Bunny who guided a child to take on the responsibility of protecting the world. Regardless if there was no other option, it’s still not a burden that should be placed on any one person, let alone a child.

Needless to say, Alice has a lot of baggage from her time as a magical girl and some trauma bonding with Honey Bunny as well. When she finally had a normal life, she had come to accept that she could be loved as she was, not as [insert magical girl superhero name here]. I’m not sure what name I’m going to go with for Alice, but it might be a parody of Sailor Moon’s naming convention or some other magical girl anime’s naming style. I mean, I could call her Sailor Sunshine, but that’s a bit too on the nose. ;3 I’ll have to give it some thought…

What didn’t help Alice’s self-confidence and body image issues was Ian having a crush on her transformed self and gushing about her all the time. Although Ian did have a crush on Alice as well, he couldn’t help but geek out over a real life magical girl, and more than once Alice was made to feel jealous of the persona she crafted that always seemed so much better than herself.

When Ian eventually found out her identity, he was stunned, especially due to how different they looked, but at the same time it made sense to him. He insisted that she was the same person, with or without the flashy costume, and she was just as beautiful either way.

So in the “final season” of this magical girl show, Alice’s transformed self looked a bit chubbier than before - not as full figured as her normal self, but no longer a skinny twig. She better accepted herself a bit more, and she felt loved by Ian both in her transformed state and out. By that point she had grown and become happier with herself.

Which made Ian cheating on her later on with a sexy woman with big boobs and a small waist feel like a huge kick in the crotch.

Alice entered college with Ian full of hope, even if she felt lost for a future outside of being a magical girl. She had a partner who loved her and understood her, and she had the rest of her life to choose whatever she wanted in the world she saved.

It’s just unfortunate that all of the constant battles and running off to fight tanked her grades during high school, which made it harder for her to get into college in the first place. At least Alice could get into community college, even if that meant there was no hope of a scholarship. At least she had Ian by her side.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Though Alice had become a strong warrior for justice, she now suffered from PTSD and had traumatic flashbacks of moments that scarred her deeply, especially when it came to people she couldn’t save. She couldn’t exactly talk about it with anyone, and Ian couldn’t handle the burden. After all, he gave up being a magical girl because it was too much for him, and hearing how hard it was on Alice made him feel guilty, which in turn didn’t help her. Fortunately Alice had years worth of experience in holding it in. When you have to keep secrets in order to prevent the end of the world, you learn how to bottle up a lot of things.

Alice is a much better actor in this universe because of this, and it did help her get further in acting classes despite pushback and at least one teacher warning her about how she would be type casted in unflattering roles due to her body size. Still, at some point she wondered if it really was what she wanted to do. She spent years having all these eyes on her, having to be a commanding presence and play a part…

Despite Ian’s encouragement to keep acting with him, Alice dropped out. Though disappointed, he encouraged her to try and find her own dream. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to do, but in so many ways she was very, very tired.

Alice’s relationship with Ian wasn’t the happily ever after she thought it would be. Much like in the regular universe, things deteriorated between them, with his cheating being the final straw. Those issues were sharper in this world, unfortunately. Ian felt even more insecure having a partner who was this famous  magical girl superhero who saved the world many times over. He felt insignificant compared to Alice at times, like he wasn’t worthy of her, and she could do so much better than someone like him who constantly needed saving… At the same time though… he couldn’t let her go.

The person Ian cheated on Alice with was someone more “on his level,” just a normal person living a normal life who made him feel happy and attractive during a time when he was alone. Long distance relationships are so hard, especially when you’re convincing yourself that you’re always letting your partner down.

Alice didn’t take the confession that Ian cheated well, but she didn’t nearly drink herself to death in this universe. The issue in this world is that the enemy can use your crushing negative emotions against you, so Alice had to learn how to combat those feelings. Often it was by transforming and destroying a few dozen trees in a forest miles away from civilization. When she got all of her energy out, she fled the scene of her destruction and collapsed to the floor of their apartment in tears.

Shaun came by in the midst of her grief, as Ian had called him in a panic to check up on Alice when she wouldn’t pick up the phone for a long time. He was a good shoulder to cry on, and kept her company the entire night until she finally cried herself to sleep.

Of course… the breakup isn’t going to be easy when it comes to superhero identities. Ian proved he can’t be trusted after all by betraying Alice, and she can’t be with someone she can’t trust… but at the same time he knows her secret. It created a lot of tangled up feelings and drama. Ian keeps trying to regain her trust and get back together with her, but she can’t, not with how hurt she is and how much responsibility is on her shoulders.

A new threat could appear at any time. Sometimes unrelated big threats appear, small one-off things. Alice technically can never retire from being a magical girl. It’s part of what made figuring out her future at college difficult.

Honey Bunny, being a magical mascot in charge of keeping up secrecy, used magical means to make Ian forget about Alice’s secret identity and the part he played in the magical girl life. After all, if magical girls have a magical field that makes it so no one can identify them and their civilian persona, even when there’s photographs, then it makes sense there could be different magics to ensure people don’t uncover the secret. I mean, we are talking about the fate of the world after all. That’s pretty serious stuff.

Disillusioned by love, exhausted by her duties, and now only with Honey Bunny to confide in again, Alice feels more alone than ever. She struggles to figure out what she wants in life, knowing that she can’t ever truly stop being a magical girl, not when supernatural forces sometimes crop up to cause trouble… to say nothing of the threat of a potential new villain appearing like the one that forced her to become a magical girl in the first place.

It makes it hard for Alice to feel motivated. Her dreams are murky. She coasts through college, graduating with a general engineering degree just to have something to show for the cost of the classes. She gets a job at Yogurtopia because it at least has flexible hours and Barry at least accepted her excuse that sometimes she’ll have emergencies unexpectedly. He has her work extra hours to make up for those times when she has to cancel at the last minute. Even with a job like this, it feels like she’s hanging by a thread, barely holding on because her boss has decided to offer her leniency. Chances are she won’t get that elsewhere.

Supernatural Ghost(?) Jack

Of course, it’s during this period where Alice is feeling more lost and alone than ever that Jack appears. She sensed something strange about the video tape, but not dangerous. It was compelling, touched by magic, and left her feeling like she had to play it. Honey Bunny had a weird feeling about it and cautioned her when messing with it.

I’ve mentioned in previous posts that the connection between Jack and Alice was willingly made, at least for the Sunshine in Hell continuity. It’s no different in this AU. Alice, ever the hero, heard the pitiful cry of a soul trapped in hell, and saved him. Thanks to her years of being a magical girl, having her soul put to the test against many magical effects, Alice didn’t pass out after the pact was made, and she fully remembers the terms of their agreement.

In a way, this starts Jack and Alice off on the right foot. Alice feels a sense of purpose in trying to figure out what happened to Jack and how to help him, and she finds he’s actually a really nice friend. It’s also nice to be around someone who makes her feel understood. Honey Bunny is good company, but their complicated relationship isn’t the same as what develops between her and Jack.

Alice doesn’t let Jack know that she’s a magical girl, though he does know about Honey Bunny, if only because Honey Bunny asserted herself to make sure the terms of the magical pact between the two were fair and that there were no loopholes an unsavory character could take advantage of. Honey Bunny, being the guide for magical girls, has experience in setting up contracts, you see, and she does care deeply for Alice even though she also used the poor girl as a child soldier. Even if she didn’t have a lot of options at the time, it was still not a good thing to do to a kid.

Honey Bunny has a lot of guilt for everything she put Alice through, and is extra protective of Alice as a result. The two are very close, and Jack often feels jealous of their bond. He wants to be closer to Alice, his sunshine, his savior… closer than anyone. Their bond is special. He never felt this way about anyone before…

And Jack certainly doesn’t want anything to risk breaking the bond he has with his sunshine and being damned back to hell.

While Jack can sense Alice’s emotions and vice-versa through their connection, the wording of their pact is a bit tighter in this AU, and they can’t read each other’s minds. Still, that connection of empathy goes a long way in the two of them growing closer.

Jack helps Alice get some direction in life, feel more motivated in herself again in a way that Honey Bunny can’t quite manage to help her with due to their complicated history. He becomes an important part of her life, making it shine brighter and she feels happy in a way that she hadn’t felt in a long, long time.

Alice struggles with burdening Jack with anything, especially since she’s supposed to be the one trying to help him, being the superhero and all, but Jack wants to help her, and it feels so nice to be taken care of for a change.

Alice has carried the weight of the world on her own for so long.

Things get easier with Jack around. Though Alice still works towards helping Jack be human again so he can interact with others, the idea of him one day going off to live his own life is just so sad. But can she really believe him when he says that he wants to be her best friend forever?

Jack understands what Alice is trying to do for him, and he does appreciate it, but he’s not leaving her even if she thinks that’s what’s best for him. He doesn’t want to leave her. Besides, he can see that wouldn’t be best for her. She needs him, and the more time they spend together, the more he’ll do to show her that. It feels so good to have her need him, to feel useful and wanted. She’s such a remarkable person, so strong and brave, but he wants to take care of her. She deserves to be loved and cared for, especially after all she’s done.

Jack, with his supernatural abilities, finds out early on that Alice is a magical girl when she has to run off because of a sudden monster attack. He doesn’t reveal that he knows right away, but subtly encourages Alice to tell him herself. It hurts a little whenever she avoids the opportunities he gives her to open up to him and lies to hide her secret, but he understands that a big secret as this can’t be easy to share, especially after he’s seen what some of these monsters can do to people.

One of the ways Jack tries to encourage Alice to tell him involves talking up the magical girl that appears on the news sometimes, how amazing and courageous she is. Unfortunately, that backfires a bit. Alice is reminded of the way Ian gushed over her alter-ego in the past, and the memory hurts like hell. Jack notices right away that this line of conversation upsets her, even though she tries to hide it. She covers it up by pretending that she can’t see what’s so great about the magical girl except her looks, and Jack, very gently, redirects the conversation in a more positive direction.

After that Jack focuses on not idolizing the magical girl persona, but humanizing her. He says there’s more to “her” and everyone beyond their looks. Everyone is beautiful in their own ways, but Alice doesn’t need the ribbons and sparkles to shine. She doesn’t need to fight monsters to prove how brave she is. She’s the most beautiful, most courageous person he’s ever known.

Alice, flustered by his praise, protests that Jack is just saying that. After all, so many other people are so much more beautiful than she is, including the magical girl who totally isn’t her!

Jack focuses on Alice and her actions, all the things he’s noticed her do day by day that make her shine, the acts of kindness, her bravery and determination. At times his words cross over into things that he does as a magical girl, deliberately so, but vague enough that she wouldn’t immediately realize that he knows. It’s just enough to force her to look at that magical persona in a new light and see that it’s just a sparkling dress on top of the amazing person who invested so much of herself into doing the right thing and sacrificed so much of herself to make the world a better place.

Alice can’t help but feel moved. Jack has a way with words, and she can feel he cares about her. Falling in love with him is a slow burn, but comes as naturally as falling into his arms, and eventually the line is crossed. Although she believed that she would never find true love after everything that happened with Ian, Jack gives her the courage to finally try again.

Naturally this is a love story with a happy ending because I’m a sucker for my OTP. When Alice is forced to reveal her identity through a suitably dramatic moment to save people, Jack gently tells her in the aftermath that he already knew, and he was waiting for her to be ready to tell him. He also tells her it doesn’t change anything - she’s always been the most amazing person in the world in his eyes, with or without the magical wand and frills.

Jack and Alice get together before the reveal, which is a source of anxiety for Alice until everything is out in the open. Fortunately, Jack is so patient with her and helps her deal with her anxious feelings and worries. When the truth is revealed, he helps her avoid people in order to transform safely, gives her ideas for excuses to tell people in order to hide her magical girl persona.

Really, Jack would make for a good magical girl guide. He’s certainly clever and manipulative enough to handle the job. Plus if no one can see him, he can figure out the best hiding spots.

Alice helps Jack become human again, or as close as he can be. When he’s able to be seen by others, a part of her fears that he’ll find someone else, someone he wants more than her. Still, unlike with Ian, she finds herself able to be more open with Jack than she can with anyone else. She eventually learns to unburden herself with him, to show parts of herself that she feels are ugly and would let everyone else down if they saw them. She learns to release worries she held back from even Honey Bunny because of the weight of obligation she had to not let anyone down.

Jack accepts it all. He’s patient and listens to everything. It troubles him when Alice finally tells him all the horrors she faced as a magical girl, all the trauma and awful things that she had to experience for the sake of the world. It feels so unfair to him that such a kind soul has to suffer alone like this. He’s even more determined to be her shelter and give her a place she can feel at home.

Alice feels freer with Jack than she ever felt in her life. Even though Ian knew her secret, he couldn’t handle all the horrors. He couldn’t stand by her side, placing her above him on a pedestal. Even though Honey Bunny was there the whole time, Alice didn’t want to let her down and was looking to her for guidance. Jack, however, isn’t someone with expectations that she has to live up to or a victim to shield from the ugliness of the world. He feels like someone who is there for her, standing right next to her on her level. The weight on her heart feels just a little lighter after she finally accepts that sharing her burdens with Jack didn’t crush him under that weight.

Of course Ian has tried to get back together with Alice in this AU, but he’s had far less luck. His phone got blocked right after the breakup, as did all his social media pages. Their breakup wasn’t “for now” but “for good,” in this AU, much to his dismay. With all the responsibilities Alice has to carry, she has to think of the world before herself. She can’t be with someone who she can’t trust, and he proved that she can’t trust him. It’s lucky that he didn’t blab her secret identity in a moment of weakness before Honey Bunny made him forget!

Ian still reaches out in any way he can though, mostly to Alice’s family and any mutual friends. He stalks her socials through secret alt accounts and tries desperately in his regular life to become the man worthy of her. He constantly tries to figure out ways to make up what he did to her even while constantly putting himself down.

Because Ian forgot about Alice’s secret identity, he forgot that she’s also the mysterious magical girl that sometimes appears in the news for saving people. He can’t help but crush so hard on this mystery girl, and it fills him with so much guilt. He already cheated on Alice once without this silly crush making his heart flutter! He can’t let his heart be shaken up again! He needs to be loyal this time.

At the same time though, it’s over… Ian should move on. Yet, he can’t move on. He needs Alice. He knows he does. He can’t handle life without her. They’ve meant so much to each other for so long. His life feels empty without her.

Also a part of Ian subconsciously remembers the things they experienced when he knew her secret, and it deepens his longing to make things right. He betrayed Alice so deeply when she had such a burden to carry. The guilt is eating him alive and won’t abade until they’re together again.

Alice avoids Ian and is distant when talking with him. She’s able to mask her hurt with a frosty mask, but it’s so very, very painful. She can’t handle being near him or thinking about him for long.

Fortunately, the closer Alice gets with Jack, the less painful it gets to think about Ian. Her heart starts to heal thanks to Jack.

Unfortunately, Jack does not take too kindly to Ian’s attempts at getting back together with Alice Fortunately, he’s not the only one with this sentiment, as Honey Bunny doesn’t want Alice to get back together with Ian either.

Really, Honey Bunny was leery about the idea of Jack being with Alice the second she picked up on something developing between them. She was worried about Alice getting her heart broken again, but Jack is constantly proving her fears wrong. He makes Alice so happy. Maybe this strange and suspicious clown was what Alice needed all along…

Jack takes advantage of Honey Bunny not wanting Ian around to team up and thwart any attempts Ian might make to get back together with Alice. Honey Bunny is a bit of a mischief maker when left to her own devices, and Jack is very good at talking her into playing a few harmless magical pranks on Ian. Naturally, they do this without letting Alice know. No need to upset her by forcing her to think about Ian after all.

So, yes, Honey Bunny, in a way, is assisting Jack’s relationship with Alice in this world too, even if she’s more than a little  hesitant about trusting him with Alice’s heart. She would be even more hesitant if she knew just how thirsty Jack is for Alice. His constant attempts to seduce Alice once the two are in a relationship is a point of annoyance for Honey Bunny, and she serves as a cock block more than once.

Still, it’s not going to stop Jack from showing his sunshine lots and lots of love, or experimenting with magical girl powers in a kinky way. Just the skimpy outfit alone is begging to be used for sexy times, maybe in a bit of roleplay as well. Sometimes pretending to be in a position of vulnerability can help someone take back power they lost, and Alice can discover that being tied up isn’t so bad when the person doing it loves her dearly and will undo the bindings the moment that she feels overwhelmed.

Jack might be playing the role of wholesome kids show host, but he’s still an actor at heart. He can have a lot of fun pretending to be a villainous evildoer who has captured the virtuous magical girl and has her at his mercy. He’s also open for it to be reversed, to be the dastardly villain finally captured by the champion of justice. After all, Alice has a lot of experience teaching the bad guys how to place nice, and maybe she can have a lot more fun with it when Jack is the one she’s teaching a “lesson” with the power of love~

I can imagine Jack would also try to encourage Honey Bunny to give him magical girl powers like she did temporarily to Ian. It’d lessen Alice’s burden and help them both out. He already has supernatural abilities of his own and is bonded to Alice. He can handle the burden fighting evil for the sake of his sunshine and the world. He won’t crumble under the weight of this heavy responsibility like Ian did.

Naturally, it would take a lot of convincing after how far south things went with Ian, but Jack is patient and clever. He’s patient enough to encourage Alice to come to him despite her many fears and scars. He’s patient to encourage them both to trust him, and we all know he has a way with words. Eventually, magical girl Jack will enter the stage and fight for the sake of his sunshine. He’ll use the power of his love to help her shine even brighter than the sun.

Besides the bonus of magical girl powers, Jack would naturally take advantage of the magic that prevents people from connecting a magical girl’s identity with their civilian form. I mean, if no one knows who you are, you can have anonymous sex in public with no one the wiser. Of course, the biggest obstacle is convincing Alice to give it a try, but they’ll no doubt come up with a compromise that satisfies them both.

I think I’m going to wrap up things up there for now. This ramble has gone on way longer than I intended it to - close to 8000 words! And that’s without going into detail with the smut or inserting a snippet of writing this time. I hope you all enjoyed this blend of magical girl shenanigans and Sunny Day Jack. Maybe I’ll get more ideas and touch on this AU again sometime in the future.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur

[tessa-liam]

Smoke and Mirrors

9-Hidden in Plain Sight 

Book: The Royal Romance Finale, AU

Series Premise: Hidden in the shadows, poised to challenge the status quo are enemies of the state. The loyalties and honesty of family and friends will be tested. ‘Keep your friends close, your enemies closer’. 

Smoke and Mirrors Masterlist 

Main Pairing: Liam Rys x F!MC Riley Brooks-Rys, OTP ‘LiRi’ 

2nd Pairings: Leo Rys x Amalas, Drake Walker x F!OC Delaney Leigh, Olivia Nevrakis x M!OC Alex Cossoy 

*Most characters belong to Pixelberry.

*Not Beta’d, please excuse all errors 

Rating: M🔞*Series Warnings:  NSFW material, sexual innuendo, adult language/swearing/drinking/gun violence. Not recommended for anyone under 18 years of age. 

Category: Alternate Universe/on-going series/angst/fluff 

Words: 2394 

Chapter Summary: It’s the evening of the Celebration Ball and the big reveal of the Royal twins. Lena is interrogated by Interpol. Liam and Leo discuss a potential threat to the kingdom. 

Smoke and Mirrors

9- Hidden in Plain Sight 

Music Inspiration: Sway, Michael Buble; Claire De Lune, London Symphony Orchestra; Late Night Talking, Harry Styles 

A/N2: My submission for @choicesseptemberchallenge2023, @midnightmelodiz , Day 6 – Dreams, Day dream, “I’m in love with you?” 

A/N1: My submission for @choicesflashfics @jerzwriter Week #49, Prompt 1- “You take my breath away every time I see you.” 

The King’s chamber was illuminated only by the soft light of the full moon where the King and Queen lay together. Riley was fast asleep, her head resting on Liam’s chest, her very pregnant belly snuggled safely against his side. Liam looked over at his sleeping wife, his heart swelling with love for her and their sons. In three short weeks, his family will grow to five; that time coming very quickly now.

Cordonian Royal Palace

He lay awake; sleep eluding him again for another night. Mentally organizing his schedule for the upcoming month, his thoughts eventually returned to that conversation with Drake that they had on the beach the day before. His confession...

‘Watching you with Brooks, all these years... I want that too.’ 

‘Pretending to be happy is pretty damn exhausting.’ 

Sighing, Liam was pleasantly surprised when he heard a soft voice. 

No one else would have caught it, but Liam did. He ‘read between the lines’ of what Drake had said, like he was remembering a bad dream. Did Drake just admit that he still had feelings for his wife? Were those feelings that he had years ago still present and relevant to him? 

“How long have you been awake?” Riley whispered. 

He kissed her forehead and placed his hand on her baby bump. Stroking her belly, he could feel the soft kicks under his palm.

“Not long, love” he murmerred.

“What are you thinking about?” Liam hesitated before answering. 

Riley turning her head to look up at him, “you think too much sometimes.” 

“A conversation that I had. I am not quite sure if it was real or if it was a daydream.” Liam kept his answer opaque on purpose, not wanting to divulge too much detail to her. 

Liam chuckled, “Are you complaining?” 

“Never,” she replied, yawning. “I love you,” she added sleepily. 

His body relaxed, as he closed his eyes, “I love you more.” he murmured, tightening his arm around her protectively. 

Cordonian Palace Ballroom 

The Ballroom was filled with guests awaiting the King’s announcement scheduled for later in the evening. 

Royalty from neighboring kingdoms, nobility, politicians, and ambassadors from allied countries came from long and short distances to partake in the black-tie festivities. Music filled the air as waitstaff circulated amongst the crowd with glasses of wine and flutes of champagne. 

“I’m glad you decided to attend this event with me,” Olivia said smiling at Alex. 

“I must be honest with you, Livvie. I usually attend these functions as the enforcer. I am not used to wearing a ‘monkey suit’,” Alex smirked. He seemed to be comfortable among all the guests, nonetheless. 

Olivia grinned back at her partner, but her smile quickly faded when she spotted Amalas and Leo huddled together on the other side of the dance floor. They appeared to be deep in conversation and were not paying any attention to their surroundings.  

Alex noticed Olivia’s expression change. “Everything okay?” he asked with concern. She nodded, trying to force the smile back onto her lips. 

“I thought that Leo was coming on his own tonight.” 

“Liv, that doesn’t mean that he can't talk to anyone once he gets here,” Alex rebutted. Olivia sighed loudly and continued to watch the couple from afar. 

A waiter approached, carrying a tray of hors d’oeuvres. Alex accepted a small sampling as Olivia continued to study the couple without saying another word. Alex shook his head; he knew what was bothering her.   He also wished, he was mistaken.

As the orchestra began to play the first few notes of the Cordonian national anthem, the press began to gather around the dais waiting for the King to enter the ballroom. 

The King’s guard fell into strategic positions when the herald announced the arrival of the Royal family. 

Liam strode up to the lectern that was atop the dais wearing his full military regalia. Riley, walking with Eleanor, joined him and stood next to his side. Regina and Leo stood close by next to the dais. 

The crowd hushed in anticipation. Clearing his throat once before speaking, Liam began, “Good evening, everyone,” he proclaimed. 

“It is my pleasure and honor to welcome you all here tonight. I know many have been waiting patiently for the queen and I to make an official announcement concerning our ‘additions’ to the Royal family.”  Liam turned to wink at Riley.

The ballroom attendees erupted in whoops and cheers. 

Liam acknowledged his delighted guests with a broad smile and waited a few minutes for the accolades to subside. Continuing with, “thank you, thank you!” 

“Ladies and gentlemen, I am delighted to have my princess here to help me....” Liam turned and beamed, chuckling as Ellie clapped her hands with a peal of laughter as her uncle Leo scooped her up and joined his brother. 

“Well, Ellie, what do you think?” Leo asked, smirking at Liam. 

“Daddy, look.” Ellie exclaimed and pointed to a bevy of blue balloons filled with helium that were being released behind the crowd overtop the dance floor. 

“Everyone, our twin boys, our princes, are expected to arrive at the end of this month.” Liam lifted Riley’s hand tenderly to kiss. 

Riley joined Liam as he took her hands and led her to stand beside him at the lectern.  

Thrilled at the excitement, Liam continued once the audience returned their attention back to him.

Liam waited for the crowd to settle down after the announcement. 

The applause was deafening as everyone celebrated. 

After posing for pictures by the press, Liam led Riley to the dance floor as the orchestra began to play the beginning notes of ‘Clair de Lune’. As they danced, it felt like time stood still; as guests formed a circle around them, Liam kissed Riley’s hand and placed it atop his chest over his heart as they swayed together in time to the music.  

“It must have something to do with the love of my life in my arms,” Liam simpered. 

“How is it, that.... Liam,” as she smoothed down his lapels, “you take my breath away every time I see you.” 

“Always the charmer, Your Majesty." Riley whispered, kissing his lips sweetly. 

*** 

Drake held Delaney close to his chest as they watched the King and Queen move together in the center of the dance floor. 

“They look so perfect together,” Delaney sighed. Her voice was laced with envy. 

“Don’t worry, you’ll find someone special someday.” Drake answered sarcastically. 

Delaney laughed. “That’s so easy for you to say.” Slapping his arm.

Drake grinned, “you'are damn straight, Leigh. When I first met you, I had no idea what my future would hold. You showed me things that I had only dreamed of having with someone. … and I have treasured every minute of your love.”  

 Growling, he leaned over and kissed her fiercely on the lips. Just as Riley and Liam walked past them. Delaney noticed the look on Drake’s face when he locked eyes with Riley. It gave her an uneasy feeling. He seemed to be lost in thought.  

Smiling playfully at him, Delaney asked in jest, “I’m in love with you too?"  

She frowned. “Something wrong?” 

His eyes shifted away from Riley, and he shook his head. 

“No, nothing at all.”  

But he didn’t fool her. Delaney, now was positive that her concerns were justified, stepped back. 

“Good evening, you two.” Riley beamed as she turned towards Delaney and Drake.  

“You two are getting married! Congratulations...I am so happy for you both.” Riley put her arm around her shoulder for a side hug.

“Thank you so much,” Delaney replied, hugging Riley in return. 

“Yes, congratulations you two,” Liam reached over to kiss Delaney’s cheek. 

“I am impressed, Walker.” Riley snickered as she hugged her friend.  

“Wow, settling down and saying goodbye to the bachelor life.” Liam smirked, shaking Drake's hand.

“Who would have thought,” Riley chuckled. 

“Yeah, yeah, Brooks, get your shots in now.” Drake responded, not making eye contact. 

Interrogation Room A, Interpol Headquarters, Lyon, France 

Lena sat back on her chair with her hands folded in her lap. She was flanked by two men in dark suits. One of the men was a middle-aged man with salt and pepper hair. His name was detective Lefebvre, and he had been assigned by Inspector Ryerson to investigate her case. The other man was the head of Psychiatrics and was assigned to conduct an evaluation of her psychological state by King Liam Rys of Cordonia. 

Across the table, sat Lena’s legal defense attorney, assigned to represent her by the Royal estate of Vallenheim. 

Detective Lefebvre cleared his throat. 

“Miss Runarsdottir, I understand you are familiar with the Cordonian Royal family?” 

Lena nodded. “Yes, I have met King Constantine Rys, my father. My stepmother, Queen Sigrid, raised me when my mother Eleanor Rys was murdered. I know of but never met my brother Liam or my stepbrother Leo.” 

“And what do you know about them?” he asked. 

Lena’s mouth went dry. She felt like she was trapped in a nightmare. 

“I don’t have any other information about them,” she lied. 

“Do you mean to tell me that you knew nothing about your brothers even though you were caught outside the buildings they were in this past summer?” 

Lena stared at him unflinching. 

“How did you know where to go?” he asked again. 

“I’m sorry, I can't help you.”  

Lefebvre slammed his fist against the table, making Lena jump in surprise. 

“Don't play with me. You’re either lying or delusional.” 

Lena bit her lip. She sat stoically and kept her emotions hidden. 

“I am not playing around. I have no information.” 

Feeling frustrated, Detective Lefebvre changed his strategy. 

“Miss Runarsdottir, who is Bastien Lykel? 

“Who?” 

“Bastien Lykel,” he repeated. 

Lena’s face paled. “I don’t know anyone named Bastien.” 

“Are you sure?” he pressed. 

“We have CCTV evidence of your conversation with him in the holding cells at the Cordonian Palace.” 

“I-I-” she stammered. 

“You were seen talking to him at least three times before you escaped those holding cells in Cordonia. Is that correct?” 

Again, Lena sat in silence. 

“Choose wisely, Miss Runarsdottir, and answer my questions. What is the nature of your relationship with Bastien Lykel?” 

Lena’s breathing quickened and her hands began to shake. If she told the truth, she was dead.

“Let the records show that Miss Runarsdottir is not cooperative.” 

Cordonian Ballroom 

Leo was speaking to Rashad at the bar when Liam approached after having a debate with an American ambassador. 

“Hey Li, I see you survived your conversation with Smithfield.” Leo smirked as Liam ordered a scotch and shot it back quickly. 

“Barkeep, another round for my brother and I’ll take the same.”  

“Why, thank you Leo.” Liam clapped his back. 

“Where is your beautiful Queen?” 

“Riley is upstairs with Ellie. Being so close to her due date, she needs to be off her feet to rest from tonight’s festivities. She is exhausted.” 

Leo nodded. “Totally understandable, but Li, why are you still down here?” 

“Because I need to talk with you and apologize about the other day.” Liam responded. 

“No apologies needed.  I was being an asshole and you called me out.” Leo grinned. 

“Well, I overreacted. You pressed a nerve when you mentioned father.” 

Leo smirked, “good, because I agree with you and I believe you are ‘right on the money’.  

Liam chuckled, shaking his head. 

“Again, that’s what makes you the better King,” Leo winked 

“I do have information for you." Leo continued. "Amalas gave me an update on Interpol’s case on Lena and Bastien.” 

‘Liam winces slightly at the mention of Lena, but he does not interrupt.’ 

“Lena is being uncooperative when questioned by the detectives. Nice touch, by the way, for assigning a psychiatrist to oversee her testimony.” 

“Well, it’s the least I could do knowing what father did to her, and her future.” 

“’Amalas has uncovered a few suspicious ‘coincidences’, but nothing damning enough’ to help shed light as to what her motives are.” 

“So far, the information that he divulged on the estate of Vallenheim has been verified as true. It was uncovered that he has affiliations with members of the Vallenheim royal guard.” 

“Has there been any progress on Bastien’s involvement?” Liam inquired.

“Director Ryerson has scheduled an official update for Monday morning with me. Apparently, Interpol has uncovered a black ledger. It was 'hidden in plain sight'." 

“Care to join me, Leo?” 

Leo responded, “I will be here.” 

📌 @ao719 @txemrn @queenmiarys @sfb123 @twinkleallnight @alj4890 @differenttyphoonwerewolf @harleybeaumont @busywoman @karahalloway @kingliam2019 @imjusthereforliam @lovingchoices14 @kyra75 @tinkie1973 @emkay512 @malblk21 @kristinamae093 @jared2612 @irisk12 @thesvnsins @walkerdrakewalker 📌

[baronessblixen]

When It Rains

Year of the OTP June! The prompts I used are: sick fic – accidental love confession – downpour

Set in season 6, fluff with a hint of Diana angst. And a sick Mulder. Wc: 1,552

Tagging @today-in-fic

Dressed in an old t-shirt and sweatpants that are just the tiniest bit too big on her small frame, she elbows open her apartment door, a basket full of dirty laundry in her arms. In her hallway, she almost crashes into a soaking wet, swaying figure. Just as she’s about to berate him for loitering in front of her apartment, she realizes who exactly it is.

“Mulder?” she asks, setting down her basket.

“Oh hey,” he says as if surprised to see her here. In her hallway. In front of her apartment.

“You’re soaking wet,” she says, watching the puddle by his feet increase. He’s going to ruin the carpet. But there are more important things to focus on. “What happened to you?” Instead of an answer, he just sighs and shrugs. Looking more closely at him, she notices that his pupils are shot. Drunk. He has to be drunk. Right?

“It’s raining,” he says simply.

That’s the understatement of the year. They’re currently experiencing an exceptional downpour and according to meteorologists, the rain is not going to stop until the morning. One of the many reasons Scully decided to stay home this Saturday night. She’s still getting used to having weekends to herself. With the X-Files closed, more often than not, she finds herself with free time now. At least it gives her enough time to do her laundry.

“Come inside.”

“You were on your way out,” he says.

“I was just doing laundry,” she explains, trying to help him out of his leather jacket. It’s heavy with rain. “Let’s get you into the bathroom, Mulder. Take off your shoes.”

“Hm?” He’s just standing there, still swaying.

“Your shoes,” she says patiently. “Take them off.”

“Oh,” he says, staring down at his feet. “Right.”

“Were you out drinking?” It’s none of her business, she thinks. Except he came here, to her apartment. She has a right to know. The last time this happened, she found herself on a plane to Texas, and later out of a job. She shudders, remembering everything that came after. Her memory is still spotty in places. Another apartment, another hallway, and a bee. A kiss that never was. Then there’s a lot of icy darkness in her mind. Even now, months later, the frostbites sometimes nip at her when she least expects it.

“I’m not drunk,” he says, but his words are slurred.

“It’s okay, Mulder.” She tugs on his arms to get him to the bathroom, but he’s heavy, and he’s unwilling. He’s shaking his head so hard that she fears he’s going to crash into the wall.

“Not drunk,” he repeats. “I wasn’t feeling well,” he says. “I just- there were pills in the medicine cabinet. I took them. The first didn’t do anything, so I took something else.” Her alarm bells are ringing.

“What did you take?” she asks and he just shrugs.

“I thought it was Tylenol. Wait. I think the other was Benadryl. My throat was so itchy.”

“Mulder, you don’t have any allergies.”

“They make me sleepy,” he says and yawns as if to prove his point. “I take them sometimes. You said I shouldn’t take sleeping pills.” She cracks a small smile, glad that he listened to her for once.

“That’s good, Mulder. You said your throat is itchy?” He nods and as she looks closer at him, she realizes that he does look sick, not drunk. The area around his nose is pale, while his nose itself is red. She touches his cheeks and they’re warm to her touch. So is his forehead. “When did you start feeling sick?” And why didn’t you call me, she adds mentally.

“Yesterday,” he admits. “Thought I was just tired but,” he pauses and coughs. “I didn’t want to bother you. Now I’m coughing all over you, making you sick, too.”

“Mulder, if you were feeling sick yesterday it’s very likely you already infected me anyway.”

“You’re the medical doctor,” he says with a drowsy smile. He may not be drunk, but he’s definitely not sober either.

“I am,” she says with a soft smile. “That’s why you need to listen to me. We need to get you out of these wet clothes. Where’s your umbrella?”

“Didn’t bring one,” he says, letting Scully lead him toward the bathroom. “Wasn’t raining when I left. It started when I was at Diana’s.” Her fingers were just busy unbuttoning his shirt but now pause.

“Diana.” She repeats the name slowly, every letter bile on her tongue. Mulder, clueless to her emotional turmoil, nods and goes on.

“She kept hanging up on me,” he says. "I tried calling her. I didn't want to go over there."

“It’s okay, Mulder,” Scully says, distracting herself with undressing Mulder. Despite having worn a jacket, his shirt is so wet that she has to wring it out. “You don’t owe me an explanation.” But her mind is spinning. If he was at Diana’s, why is he here now? Why did he leave? Her thoughts are so out of control that she doesn’t notice Mulder tug at her t-shirt at first. He’s shirtless himself and his jeans are already unbuttoned. She’d prefer if he took his pants off himself, but he seems preoccupied with what’s happening in his head.

“I went to her apartment,” he says and Scully wishes she could just cover her ears and not hear what he has to say. No matter how childish that instinct may be. “I wanted her to listen to me. You always listen to me, Scully.” He says, touching her cheek. His skin is warm against hers and she has to stop herself from leaning into his touch.

“What did you want to tell her?” Scully asks in spite of herself.

“That she needs to stop. That she needs to listen. I’ve been trying to tell her, to explain it to her. About you.”

“About me?” Again, he nods. He breaks into a smile and she’s overwhelmed by the instinct to pinch his rosy cheeks. His hair, drying already, is sticking in every direction imaginable, making him look cuter than he should be.

“She doesn’t listen,” he repeats. “I keep trying to tell her that I- she wants things that I don’t want.” Her roaring heartbeat almost drowns out his voice.

“I went to her apartment to tell her that I love- that I love you.” Her eyes grow wide at his confession. He’s staring at her, calm as ever. “Can you believe she hung up on me?” She's not sure he realizes what he just admitted. What he confessed to her. He loves her. This isn’t the first time he’s saying it, of course. The last time wasn’t long ago. It was right after they saved him from the Bermuda Triangle. He’d been high on painkillers then, too. But she can’t deny that he’s said it twice now in about as many months.

“She said I was nuts.” He’s grinning from ear to ear now. As if Diana calling him crazy for loving Scully was the greatest compliment he could imagine. “Nothing I haven’t heard before. I stood my ground, Scully. Said I love you. Did you know that? I didn't mean to blurt it out just now, but... I love you. I needed Diana to know it, too. I needed her to understand it. You know what happened next?” She shakes her head gently, unsure whether she wants to know what he’s going to say next.

“She threw me out. Asked her for an umbrella and she slammed the door in my face.”

“I’m sorry, Mulder.”

“Is this what you always wear on weekends, Scully?” He touches the hem of her shirt and she blushes.

“Sometimes,” she says. “It’s my laundry outfit.”

“I like it. I like it a lot.”

“I think you’re delirious.”

“I think you might be right,” he admits, coughing again.

“Can you take off your jeans or do you need help?”

“I wouldn’t mind help,” he says with a grin, “but I can do it myself.”

“I’m going to get you something dry to wear,” she says, squeezing his shoulder. She uses the moment away from Mulder to take a deep breath and sort her thoughts. Tonight, she won’t contemplate what any of this means. But she knows she’ll have to hide a grin the next time she sees Diana Fowley.

When she returns to the bathroom, Mulder is naked. She averts her eyes, even though he doesn’t seem to mind. He helps her into the sweatpants and the t-shirt. When they’re done and Mulder is dressed, he smiles at her warmly.

“We're matching," he says proudly. He's right, too. "You’re not going to throw me out, are you?” he asks.

“If I did, I’d give you an umbrella.”

“Thank you, Scully.” His grin is accompanied by another cough, reminding her that it's very likely he'll feel worse in a couple of hours. She'll be there for him it that's the case. Just like she hopes he will be there for her when she catches whatever is ailing him.

He’s asleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillow. She watches him for a moment before she presses a kiss to his forehead. I love you, too, she thinks but doesn’t dare say. Not yet, anyway.

[losergeekwhoever]

CHRISTINE CANIGULA ❤️

AAA OKAY GREAT THANK YOU

Okay so thoughts on CHRISTINE

Favourite thing:

- How loud and busy her outfits are on Broadway. I like the patches a lot and it’s fun to draw her with a bunch of jewelry

- I reallly love her conversation with Jeremy on Halloween. Give me more of that

Least favourite thing:

- probably just that she gets with Jeremy in the end. I actually really like stagedorks I think they’re so cute buuuut yeah. Cute friends!

- Musical Christine is also very manic pixie dream girl, you know? I think if she had more time to be a little more human I’d like her ten times more.

Favourite line:

- “No this is where you meet for the swim team..” CHRISTINE!! Mean! AJJFAJBA

BrOTP:

- Michael and Christine I want them to be friends sooooo bad you have no idea. Reference point for their friendship is them in Stammer. I love Stammer

OTP:

- I think it has to be stagedorks. She and Jeremy should mostly be friends but if she’s dating anyone I think they’re so sweet. Am I being influenced by my love for Jeremy? Probably

nOTP:

- I feel like this is more of a 2017 fandom thing but Christine and Jenna? People shipped them right? Im just not a fan of that

- I actually don’t ship Christine with anyone in a major way..

Random Headcanon:

- She’s an only child.

- Doesn’t really cry about like anything. She CAN cry as an acting choice but otherwise does not

- I need to think about Christine more often I’m so sorry that’s all I’ve got

Unpopular opinion:

- I think I prefer book/play Christine

Song I Associate with Them:

- World’s Smallest Violin - AJR

-This song is like fast and fun. That’s kinda Christine!

-Thinking about Christine as trying to be totally okay all the time because other people have worse stuff going on and relatively she’s doing great. Imposter syndrome and feeling inadequate but needing to be on top of things to not let other people down. I think that kind of mentality leads her to being disregarded as someone with feelings. Like she puts a lot of effort into not being a part of anyone’s problems that she becomes an object people are vying for. She gets one chance to open up and vent like a person and Jeremy still ends up ASKING HER OUT. (“Let me play my violin for you”) It would be nice if she was allowed to complain or be a PERSON around her friends, but they keep disregarding her and trying to date her, and maybe that’s fine because it’s not like she’s REALLY suffering or anything (“Somewhere someone’s got it worse”)

Fav photo:

-I couldn’t choose between these two. I just love this scene in the London production so much. Oh my god Christine <3

And here’s Christine from my sketchbook if you’ve made it this far. I need to draw her more

[chrysopoeias]

Not to get all emotional over your Riza as a mom post but it got my brain all churning - I saw a post recently about women choosing to break the cycle of abuse by loving their daughters and just there was this line of like, “she invented a love she never got to receive” and I just think the struggle to do that would apply so much to mom!riza (I actually only can imagine her having daughter(s) ahaha). Anyway thank you for that post!!

Yeah I think Riza will attempt that. Wether she succeeds or not is a different matter... Like explicitly I do not want Riza to turn into the archetypical ‘good mother’ that solves all her (generational) issues, simply unlocking this skill by giving birth. Where she always does exactly the right thing on instinct, and the child(ren) grow up to be the textbook definition of normal and well-adjusted.

The vast vast majority of people reproducing have absolutely no clue on child psychology and development, or how to parent in the first place. They just have their best intentions, ideas of what they will do different/the same as their own parents, and their biases and believes of what is normal. 

For Riza this is intentions to do things different from her father, and her being used to military regiment/culture. Her father neglected and abused her, so her doing the opposite and loving(tm) the kid(s) can still quickly turn into her being overprotective and overbearing, or being way too strict influenced by her own military experience. And what will happen when she has depressive and PTSD episodes her whole further life? What if instead of being consistently neglecting like her dad, she is an unreliable mother in a different way. Where she cannot always be there for the children in the way they want and need for days, weeks, months?? Just being a powerless child and watching your mother suffer seemingly randomly is incredibly difficult, perhaps even more frustrating when the reason of her suffering are invisible (mental) and hard to explain. Riza just loving her children may not be enough.

I do not want it to be suffering and tragedy 24/7 in this AU timeline, but I do like to emphasis and explorer the darker and tragic sides more. Interpersonal relationships are difficult, even with your own children. I dislike when in fanon having children is treated as the ultimate reward at the end of a story after all the conflict is over. Like this is the big happy end goal, and we can all sigh in relieve as long as we know our otp reproduced and got their reward, phew. When having children is such a massive source of conflict and challenges lmfao.

But I’m just a friendless childless doodle blogger, so what do I know ヽ(；▽；)ノ

[soloorganaas]

rewatching GoF and thinking about how when sirius is chatting to harry via floo it’s supposed to be possible bc he broke into a muggles house to use their fireplace even though muggle fireplaces aren’t connected to the floo network. so either sirius somehow got the ministry to connect the muggles fireplace to the floo network when he was on the run as a wanted criminal, or he used a wizard’s fireplace

anyway what I’m saying is clearly he was at remus’s

[dielitttt]

My opinion on moon signs💯

Aries moon: you guys have such warm hearts but I’m not tryna get on your bad side either 😭😭. You guys are so passionate and nice everywhere so fast. You guys are the type of people who walk around VERY fast like you need to go somewhere. You guys always give people motivation to do things and hype up people. There energy is also very strong when they come to a room. feral ass mfs💀.

Taurus moon: I LOVE YALL SMM. You guys are so chill and just go w the flow. When you guys argue it’s always about some stupid thing💀. You either hate or love eating fast food, and like taking naps when bored. You guys are so picky w who you open up to tho. You guys can fall asleep so easily, y’all are the type of people who would fall asleep otp without meaning to. You guys are also either impatient or patient. STUBBORN ASFF, doesn’t give up for shit. I’ve dated a few of Taurus moons and their always nonchalant a lot of times unless they rlly like like u tho.

Gemini moon: You guys always either give off this anxious/chaotic ass energy or a very sly witty type of energy. Funny asf when it comes to arguing and roasting ppl😭. You guys have a solution for problems that come their way and find a way to make it better. I would pick u to be next to me if there was any roast battle or arguement with people. You guy get lost in your own chaotic and anxious thoughts you have on yourself or on others.

Cancer moon: You guys are so sweet and caring!! But please start putting yourself first, I know a lot of people rely on u but sometimes you just have to say no and just do something for yourself for once. I also admire how much you care about animals and other people's feelings. Yet, I think you do it a little too much at times. Start caring about your own feelings instead of others cause your only gonna damage yourself. I feel like u guys get told u look like your mother sometimes 😭😭.

Leo moon: You guys are so admirable and people can develop feelings for u very easily. You guys always keep your promises even if it’s big or small cause they know how it feels to have broken promises. You guys always never forget about the little things about people. Y’all are the definition of dramática/dramático☠️☠️. You always bright up the energy in a room. WE GET EACHOTEHR LIKE ALOT AND I HAVE SO MUCH FUN W U GUYS LIKE OMGG. WE HAVE THE SAME THOUGHTS FRFR. You guys are so bright and compassionate!!

Virgo: You guys are so secretly judge mental or it rlly shows in your face😭. Y’all are so responsible but a little to extra sometimes. Please take a break for one time instead trying to fix everything babes. On the other hand tho y’all are fun ash when you guys are laid back or chill but also rlly mature which kinda terrifies me sometimes… you guys are emotionally mature and know how to express your emotions or sometimes you guys delay your emotions. You guys are kind and very helping tho!!! ☺️ you guys are the type of people who volunteer certain causes or volunteer in general in places

Libra moon: ay dios mío…yall fall for sm people so easily it’s not even funny…💀. BUT YOU GUYS R SO FUNNY AND FUN 😭.. it’s js yalls love interest or love life are 😃…uhm interesting. YOU GUYS R SO KINDDDD AND HAVE SUCH PRETTY TRAITSSS. I WOULD PROBABLY DEPEND ON YOU WHEN IT COMES TO HAVING FUN OR SUM. (I sound so aggressive but it’s wtv) you guys are the type of people who leave other people on seen for the longest and then randomly text someone like heyyyy😇. But I love the fact that your always there for others or to cheer them up even if u don’t need to 😊. OH AND YOU GUYS PROBABLY GAD A FIRST LOVE OR LIKE KISSED SOMEONE AT A VERY YOUNG AGE.

Scorpio moon: ISTG YALL KNOW HOW TO USE WORDS SO GOOD😭😭. When you argue w people you woulf have the most valid points and manipulate the words n shit its scary. YALL HIDE SO MANY THINGS FROM PPL LIKE OMLL. You guys also do the wildest shit ever istg. You guys are so hot tho 😇. I think having Scorpio moon can also make ur eyes like very sly and luring tbh. Some of you guys change yourself alottt in order to fit in sometimes (this applies to more of the ppl who have this in 11h) when I’m with you guys we do crazy shit, you guys r so fun. You guys can lie with a straight face tho 😭😭. I feel bad for most of u guys tho cause from what I’ve seen most of your relationships with ur mothers aren’t the best.

Sagittarius moon: YALL ARE THE DEFINITION OF DOING CRAZY SHITTTT. You guys in general are crazy asfffff, you guys are always so optimistic. You guys are the type of people who ask the weirdest question ever like “do ants have sex?” They also ask them so randomly 😭😭. But I love u guys anyways and you guys also know how to beat someone’s ass tho.. you guys get so mixed up in your own feelings. You guys either care or don’t, you guys are very open towards things and are always willing to try new things. You guys always look lost sometimes tho.. even if ur not. You guys can look “dumb” but are very intelligent and can see through ppls bs sometimes.

Capricorn moon: bye I feel so bad for y’all 😭😭. You guys hide your feelings liek a lot or shield them from other people very often. YALL ALSO BARELY WEAR MAKEUP UNLESS ITS LIKE A FANCY EVENT THO. Just like Scorpio moon y’all have very serious issues w ur mom tho…🥲. BUT BRUV YALL HOLD SO MUCH POWER OVER PEOPLE LIKE ITS SO EASY FOR U GUYS TO MESS UP SOMEONES REPUTATION WHEN THEY MESS W U💀. you guys r also intimadtating or give off an intimating vibe. YOU ALSO KNOW HOW TI FIX THIBGS SO EASILYYY. You guys also be more close to ur father sometimes or not idk. I trust u guys a lot tho ☺️.

Aquarius moon: I BARELY MEET ANY AQAURIUS MOONS SO UHHH YEAH. you guys always deny how you feel most of the time, lack of emotional nurturing most of the time. YOU GUYS ALSO ARE VERY INTERESTING LIKE TELL ME ABT THAT ONE WEIRD ASS THING U WATCHED AS A KID😭. You also have different povs of things and try to understand the other differences towards things which I love!! You guys are so creative when it comes to everything and humor like the insults u make are so funny💀.

Pisces moon: You guys literally get away with everything it’s not even funny at this point, you guys can steal some dress and nobody would notice like ?!?!?! You guys have warm hearts but some of u guys are unstable sometimes 😭. (My mom has a pisces moon) you guys moods change very fasttt like you guys can be mad at someone and then 5 seconds later ur like 😃. Your relationship with ur father or mother might not be the best srry. YOU GUYS ARE SO CREATIVE THOOO AND INTELLIGENT LIKE U MAY NOT SEEM LIKE U ARE BUT IN REALITY U RLLY ARE YOU JS HIDE IT!! I love you guys so much but I can’t handle you guys sometimes..😰

(I sound so aggressive in most of these but ya😊)

[whovianderson]

Happy 30th anniversary to The X-Files!!!!!

I’ve only been a fan for a few months, which I know is nothing compared to the OGs out there. And yet, I immediately felt so welcomed in the fandom, for which I can only thank you all!

This show has already changed my life.

Mulder makes me feel represented more than any character has before. Our similar relationship with trust especially means a lot, because it’s something of which I am very self-conscious.

Falling in love with The X-Files has inspired me to pursue a career in television production. This has given me much-needed purpose, which is just one way that it has consolidated my mental health recovery.

As an autistic person, hyperfixating on The X-Files provides me with a renewed sense of life. Not only that, but it has helped me to stop masking. For example, I stimmed in public for the very first time recently because I was discussing The X-Files with someone.

This fandom, the likes of which I have never experienced before, is beyond talented. From fan art, to gif sets, to fanfic, to analysis, to edits, to memes… you’ve blown me away. It feels so special to enjoy fan content from both decades ago and the present day.

I’ve had the privilege of befriending some incredible people because of this show as well. @liliean, @thefandompixie, @infernal-hound, @randomfoggytiger, @cyb3rpeach, @texarkana-mp3, @teenie-xf, @cutemothman, @samucabd, and everyone else who has interacted with me, I appreciate you all more than I can express!

I haven’t felt the way The X-Files makes me feel… well, ever. And honestly, almost all of that is down to MSR. My OTP, for the rest of my life. I can confidently say that no other ship will ever come close to them for me.

I wouldn’t have started watching The X-Files were it not for me becoming obsessed with Gillian, so really, I have her to thank for kickstarting this incredible journey.

I’m only at the end of season four on my first watch-through, so I have a lot to come. However, already, we’ve had masterpieces like Pilot, One Breath, Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose, Oubliette, Pusher, Quagmire, Wetwired, Home, Paper Hearts, Memento Mori, and Small Potatoes. I’m so excited for to see where the show takes me next, and I’m grateful for this space where I can scream about it - I feel like I’m going to need it!

To everyone who follows me for other things… I’m sorry? Wait, no I’m not - watch The X-Files (and message me about it), or else!!!! This is a threat!!!!

Excuse me for this sappy post, but I’m a tiiiny bit emotional today. I love this show, I love this fandom, and I love everything it has given me. Thank you to everyone involved in its creation!

[bcbdrums]

This One's For You

A Soul Eater fanfic. Read on: AO3 | FFn

Seventh in my series of 31 prompt-based one-shots. Prompts from this list.

AND... Monthly OTP prompt fills from this list for Spirit and Stein, because I cannot stop writing about them. I’m happy to hear recommendations each month for which prompt to write next.

A/N: This started with a tiny, vague mental image I've been holding for months that I needed to express, and a plot formed around it. My hope was for a short fluffy something, but, Stein decided otherwise... Yeahhh the characters took complete control of this one. I had next to nothing to do with this until near the end when...a song that is tied to these two for me decided to jump into the story too. And I don't write songfic, haha. Aaahhhhh this one might be out of character, I'm not sure. They're teenagers. Spirit is 16 which would make Stein 13, in my headcanon. I also headcanon that Spirit played electric guitar as a teenager then gave it up. There's an Easter Egg for another of my fics in this which gets revealed in the end notes if you don't catch it yourself. And of course, don't read the end notes cuz spoilers. Oh, there's one line directly implying something NSFW that I'll leave up to interpretation. But just a warning that it exists, I guess. That's why the "teen" rating. And, it doesn't get mentioned in the story, but I'm compelled to inform everyone that Spirit's hair is in a ponytail. Because. Yeah. Okay, anyway. 7. Bells (from the December list) 4. Peace (for April, from the monthly OTP list)

This One's For You

Spirit was half-reclined on his bed when Stein walked into their shared bedroom. Half, because it was nearly impossible to play his guitar properly if he lay flat the way he truly felt like doing. Instead, he had most of both of their pillows shoved up behind his back and up under his elbow so he could lean his head and shoulders against the wall with the guitar nearly flat across his lap, though his legs were crossed to help elevate the neck of the instrument.

He plucked two strings together in harmony, listened to the sound through the amplifier and the way it decayed with the delay setting he'd put on, and then plucked another two in the progression.

The full light of the sunset was blocked from entering the windows by the thick of the trees outside, but the room was still beginning to turn pink from the glow that couldn't ever be fully shut out, and golden pinpricks of light were hitting the wall above Spirit's head where they broke through the foliage.

Spirit glanced up at his partner still standing in the open doorway as he plucked another chord. He took in the tense posture, the stiff set of Stein's jaw. Watched his bright, ever-calculating eyes study his position on the bed before Stein finally reached behind him to push the door closed. The meister's gaze shifted to the window, blinds closed on Stein's half but raised on Spirit's.

Stein crossed the room briskly, pulled the cord to close the rest of the blinds to perhaps five inches—a height that would still allow enough light in as long as the sun was up, but that would block the view of the interior to any passersby.

Stein's hands were empty, and except for the way he was holding himself Spirit couldn't see anything amiss about him to provide evidence as to the meister's seeming sour mood. He shifted up slightly on the pillows and pulled the body of the electric guitar nearer to his stomach as he observed his younger partner.

He plucked another two strings, and Stein turned from where he'd paused at the window.

"Writing another song for some girl?"

There was a bite to his tone that Spirit recognized wasn't truly meant for him. Whatever had upset his meister, he was apparently going to take it out on him rather than talk about it. Which wasn't really a surprise.

Spirit lightly shook his head. "No. Just playing around."

He picked a simple pattern across three strings, and Stein's brow furrowed.

"Can you turn off the delay?"

Spirit couldn't help but smile as he shifted again, leaned forward to flip the switch on the amp at the foot of the bed, and then attempted to get comfortable again.

When he looked back at Stein, the meister's brow had furrowed. It was clear to Spirit that he was looking for a fight, but the weapon was in no mood to give him one. But the alternative, experience had taught Spirit, was that if he didn't provide something then Stein would simply leave and manage his frustrations elsewhere, whatever they were.

Experience had also taught Spirit that more often than not, that didn't end well for either of them.

"Come here."

"What?"

The furrow in Stein's brow deepened and he raised his head just so, so that the overhead light reflected off his glasses and hid his eyes. His jaw had tensed further, and a frown was just visible at the corners of his mouth.

"Come here," Spirit repeated just as gently.

He shifted further upright on the bed, laying the guitar across his lap for a moment to tug up his jeans as he uncrossed his legs and pulled his collared t-shirt back into place, it having become a bit twisted in his relaxation.

Stein looked uncertain, but after a moment he moved forward and crawled up onto the bed to sit next to the weapon. He pressed his back against the wall as he shifted nearer, which Spirit found telling.

He lifted the guitar into Stein's lap.

"Let me show you."

"What? No. I've told you, I don't need to try it to understand how it—"

He cut himself off abruptly as Spirit moved right next to him and set his arms around him, made more difficult by the posture Stein had chosen; Spirit had to wiggle his chest between Stein's back and the wall to get even remotely near enough to aid in the holding of the guitar.

The meister had gone tense and yet pliant as Spirit shifted the guitar to an appropriate angle, took hold of Stein's left hand as his own right hand muted the strings.

"I'll just show you some really basic chords. Here. Third finger, third fret, first string. If you only strum the first four..." Spirit held Stein's finger to the string and then lightly strummed. The processed sound came through the amp, sounding a bit strange pointed away from them and too soft to truly ring through the space. "That's a simple G-chord."

Spirit could feel Stein's heart pounding through his back, no doubt from anxiety at the unexpected contact. But he'd not pulled away. Spirit had learned that sometimes, despite the meister's seeming aversion to touch, it wasn't completely unwelcome. It was simply that he didn't really understand what he wanted.

Stein had no response, visible or otherwise, to the chord that resulted from Spirit's holding his finger to the string.

"Give it a try," Spirit encouraged, lifting Stein's right hand so he could strum the chord.

After a moment, the meister swallowed and blinked into focus. His thumb moved inelegantly over the strings, and the sound bled through the amp.

Spirit let go of his left hand, and Stein's instantly released the string. The remaining echo became discordant.

"You have to hold onto it. Here, this is an easy C. Just four strings again."

He manipulated Stein's fingers into the shape, and this time the younger boy held on when Spirit let go. Spirit strummed the chord, and then moved his hand out of the way. After a moment, Stein's tentatively came up to copy the action.

"And, ah... An E-minor, that's the easiest. First and second fingers, fifth and fourth strings, second fret."

He waited, and Stein slowly copied the instructions to hold the strings down. His brow had furrowed again, and Spirit could feel his heart rate starting to relax.

"There, see? You can play a lot of songs with just three chords. And a capo, haha."

When the minor chord had finished ringing from the amp, Stein carefully slid the guitar toward Spirit.

"You play something."

Spirit's smile tightened in disappointment. "You don't want to give it a try?"

Stein shook his head. But, Spirit noted, whatever frustration the meister had been trying to bury when he entered the room was gone from the bright, green eyes. In its place was a different sort of anxiety that Spirit didn't fully understand, but recognized was something Stein only allowed him to see.

Spirit took the guitar and carefully shifted back into his spot against the pillows. He kept his surprise hidden when Stein followed, kneeling to face him as Spirit got comfortable again and positioned the guitar.

He was about to ask if Stein had any requests, but the meister preempted him.

"Not something you've written for some girl."

Spirit huffed quietly. It was always 'some girl' with the younger teen. He had teased before that Stein would understand soon enough, and his partner had teased right back that his hormones were overactive and that he could probably take something to treat that.

It had been a very awkward end to the conversation when Spirit quipped that he had his own treatment, and Stein hadn't immediately processed the meaning. He'd gotten to it without Spirit spelling it out, but the meister had definitely behaved differently toward him since then, Spirit suddenly realized. He supposed Stein really was still just too young for that sort of thing.

"Why not?" he couldn't help but ask.

Some of the anger rose again behind Stein's eyes. "Because they're not important."

"I work hard on those—"

"You're usually on to the next girl in less than a month. So the songs can't really mean that much."

Spirit's lips had parted in surprise, and he held the annoyed gaze of his meister. There was more Stein wanted to say, he could tell. Everything in his posture and eyes and the renewed set of his jaw spoke of frustration.

Spirit was disappointed that his attempts at soothing his partner had backfired, but it was momentarily forgotten as irritation mingled with the guilt Stein's words had stirred deep in his soul.

"Do you even remember them?"

The accusation cut even harder, and Spirit wondered if Stein meant the songs or the girls. His brow furrowed in defiance even as he realized that for both, and for most, the answer was no.

"How can you care so little about something?"

It would be an insult to think Stein meant the songs with that question. Not that it was impossible, but, based on the absolute ice that was touching the meister's voice, Spirit knew otherwise.

It wasn't that he didn't care... It was that they just weren't really looking for a relationship. Neither him, nor the girls he flirted with. It was something mutually understood that didn't even need to be spoken. They were just teenagers having a good time, after all. It's what teenagers do. Stein was just too young to understand.

He took a long, slow breath and closed his eyes as he realized he'd been frowning so hard that his forehead hurt. It wasn't Stein's fault. He was only seeing things in the way he knew how. He would understand someday. And then, Spirit could tease Stein about his girlfriends and remind him about how he had been so sure it was a waste of time. It would be something they could laugh about together.

His mood resolved, he sighed and opened his eyes to reply. But then his lips parted again when he saw Stein.

The meister had dug his fingers into Spirit's blankets and had his eyes tightly closed, head downcast as he scowled at whatever was in his mind. Spirit bit his lip, and then turned the guitar volume down before reaching out to gently touch Stein's shoulder.

"Hey..."

Stein didn't pull away, but Spirit felt rather than saw the sudden hitch in Stein's breath at the contact.

"It's not..." he began softly, unsure what had Stein suddenly so upset. "It's not that I don't care. I do. But they only care so much, too. They care the same amount that I do. It's just...not anything serious."

Stein looked up. His eyes were bright with unshed tears, and Spirit's stomach swirled in unease. Whatever anxiety Stein had come back to their room with that Spirit had been trying to help him forget, he'd clearly made much worse. And he wasn't sure what to do now that Stein had turned his stress fully against him.

"Why are you okay with it?" Stein finally hissed on a single breath, immediately clamping his jaw closed again as he struggled to regain control of his emotions.

Spirit puzzled over the question. He thought he'd just answered that. It was mutually understood between he and anyone he pursued that it was just casual.

"I thought..."

Spirit focused on Stein's face again.

"I thought you were better than that."

Spirit frowned. Stein wasn't anyone to suddenly come in and be his moral judge. Not with the things he did, the worse things he imagined doing...

It must have shown on Spirit's face, because Stein suddenly scoffed and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Spirit was quick however, not even watching the fall of the guitar as he reached up and gripped the boy's arms, halting his escape before he'd even stood up.

"Stein!" he said. The meister tensed under his hold.

He wanted to be angry. He wanted to tell Stein that it was none of his business what he did with any girls. But he knew that couldn't really be what was bothering his young friend, and getting to the bottom of that was far more important. He slowly let out a breath, let his fire cool again.

"Stein. It's okay, I promise you. They're okay with it. There's nothing wrong with any of it..."

Stein tensed further, and Spirit frowned quizzically.

"Why do you care, anyway?"

The only reply was silence.

Spirit watched the taut muscles of his partner's neck, watched as he barely breathed under the weapon's hold. A golden-pink light from the window was reflecting off the front of Spirit's guitar, heralding the sun's departure.

The moments passed, and Spirit started slowly turning his thumbs in circles against the tight muscles of Stein's shoulders.

"Just play your guitar, Spirit," Stein said hoarsely.

Anger forgotten, Spirit's chest ached as he realized Stein had begun crying. What was truly upsetting his partner? Was it something he had done?

"Only if you stay."

It was a feeble plea, as Spirit knew Stein didn't really care for his guitar playing one way or another. And apparently, given his opinion on Spirit's usual endeavors with it, he probably disliked it entirely.

Silence again. Spirit watched the light on the windowsill slowly change to amber, dust floating through its beams.

"Then let go of me."

Spirit let go, banking on Stein keeping his word, and grabbed up the guitar from where it had fallen on the bed.

"Come back here."

Spirit watched as Stein reached up and took off his glasses, wiped his face with his sleeve, and then slowly turned back around on the bed and tucked his feet under him. His expression was as flat as he could make it, given the circumstances, but in his eyes Spirit still saw that anxiety that only he was permitted to see.

"Just... Relax," Spirit said, even as he couldn't help but frown.

The conversation had unnerved him, and as he continued unnecessarily shifting around for comfort, he couldn't think of a single thing to play.

He heard Stein sniff, and when he glanced up the meister was wearing a rarely-seen expression of distress that he rapidly hid away again behind the impassivity he preferred to show the world.

Spirit considered the issue as he tried to think of something to play: why would Stein care about his dates? It wasn't like he ever brought them back to their place. They were never in Stein's way...

Spirit's eyes widened as he slowly sucked in a breath.

Was that the problem?

He always came back at night—most nights. But with as much time as he spent taking girls out, he barely even did his homework lately. He supposed that outside of class and their extracurricular assignments, he really...hadn't been spending much time with Stein.

Had Stein been surprised to find him at home that evening?

A different guilt had Spirit's stomach turning with that revelation. He leaned back on the pillows and after adjusting the volume set his fingers to the guitar strings, decisively shaping a chord. And then as an afterthought, he stretched one foot toward the amp and pushed the corner of it so it turned on its dolly and wasn't facing entirely away from them.

Stein was watching him, his glasses folded in one hand but face as still as stone. Spirit began plucking out a practiced melody, suddenly self conscious about singing, and hoped it could at least be a beginning to an apology he realized now was necessary. Part of him still wanted to argue that Stein would be no different in a few years, but that didn't absolve him of the hurt he had apparently caused in the present.

He shifted his attention to the song, picking out each note with precision as he tried to work up the courage to sing. He had never been nervous around Stein with this sort of thing before, but the sudden realization that his every action of late was being watched and judged had him uncertain how his partner would respond.

"Are you making this up?" Stein asked suddenly.

"What? No," Spirit said, brow furrowing.

"I haven't heard it before."

Spirit sighed.

"I don't play this one in front of you."

Spirit watched as familiar curiosity began to rise in Stein's eyes despite the anxiety and the hurt, and he shifted back again as he focused on adding more complexity to his playing, strumming the chords before picking out the melodic lines.

Stein shifted too, reaching back to turn the amplifier the rest of the way to face the bed and then set his glasses on top of it.

"This one is different."

Spirit didn't look up, intent now on getting the song exactly right.

"This one is more interesting."

Spirit pursed his lips as a mixture of pride and affection started silencing the disquiet in his head.

"Ah... I hope so. I've been working on it for months."

He looked up and paused in the middle of the progression, letting a suspension chord ring out.

Stein was looking at him in yet another way Spirit had never been able to make sense of despite the years he'd had to try to understand. He had looked at him that way the very first day they'd met, and sometimes would even stop mid-conversation to just stare at him, usually after something Spirit had said; it was something deeper than curiosity, but seeming just as without explanation to even the meister as it was to his weapon. For awhile it had been unnerving, but Spirit knew at least there was no ill intent behind it. And whatever it meant, it was yet another expression that Stein reserved only for him.

Now, his attention was pulled away from Stein's wide, searching eyes to the way the rosy-orange beams of the sunset were making the edges of his hair seem to glow around his face. Spirit reached forward and Stein's focus instantly shifted, following the motion of his hand, but he didn't shy away when Spirit feathered Stein's hair between his fingers.

The light brought shining life into the thin strands of silver, and they sparkled almost translucent in the golden rays. The contrast of this radiance—all drawing his gaze back to Stein's verdant eyes staring back at him—with the dull overall appearance the meister seemed to want to effect had Spirit smiling.

For as much as Stein was an enigma, Spirit knew him better than the facade he showed the world.

A question had formed in Stein's eyes as to what suddenly had the weapon's so soft, but he didn't voice it. He only stared back as Spirit smoothed down the hair he'd disturbed and then returned his hand to the guitar.

"This one's for you."

"...What?"

"It's not perfect yet... I'd wanted it to be a surprise. But..."

Spirit started the song over, felt his fingers shake suddenly as he became more aware of his audience. His voice was no steadier than his hands as he began singing to the softly strummed chords.

He didn't glance up as he felt Stein shifting, heard a pair of shoes fall to the floor, and he knew without looking that the younger teen had taken up position on his knees with his feet tucked under him, hands likely fidgeting with the seams of his pants.

"'And I think we're chosen, like our fates are woven...'"

Spirit grew no less nervous as he sang through the lyrics, but Stein had asked him to play. And he owed him this he supposed, if his guess about his meister's current melancholy was correct. Finished or unfinished, he shouldn't ever leave Stein in doubt of his place in his life.

He reached the end of a chorus and paused in playing again, finally looking up. Then, his face fell.

Stein's expression was tense, confused. His brow was furrowed and his eyes unfocused where they were directed at Spirit's left hand on the strings, and his fingers were gripping tightly into the blankets again.

"You...don't like it?" Spirit asked quietly, amazed the words made it past his lips as his heart began to sink.

Stein's eyes, suddenly bright with something Spirit couldn't identify, snapped up to his. When his lips parted to speak, they trembled.

"I do."

Bewildered now, Spirit's heart ached in the fear that he'd somehow made everything worse.

"Come here," he said, almost a plea as he shifted on the pillows again and moved the guitar to lean more against his stomach.

Stein hesitated, but then awkwardly moved not to sit beside him, but to lie partially across Spirit's crossed legs with his head touching the body of the guitar. Spirit's brow rose, but Stein met his eyes in quick explanation.

"I want to feel it."

Spirit considered a moment, the angle making it impossible for him not to touch Stein's hair while playing at the least. But given the meister's chosen posture, he supposed that didn't matter.

He also decided not to mention that Stein would feel the vibrations far better by being next to the amp, and once he'd found an acceptable angle for his right arm, he strummed a chord.

Stein shifted slightly, raising his knees and gripping his hands over his middle. But his eyes stayed locked onto Spirit's. Spirit strummed another chord, and then picked out some of the melody of the song as he watched Stein curiously.

He realized all of a sudden that his partner's expression had changed. Stein was looking at him in that private way again, but deeper in his eyes behind that mysterious look was...hope.

Hope for what?

Spirit felt another pang of guilt, and he glanced at his left hand to cover the nerves he suddenly felt.

"I'm, ah... I'm going to cancel my date tomorrow night," he said. He plucked out more of the melody. "If you're not busy... We should do something."

Against his thigh, he could just feel Stein's heart rate increase through his back.

He looked down again, his own heart pounding as he met Stein's eyes. An instinctive yearning joined the race of blood in his veins, and before he could think about it, he was tentatively curling his soul wavelength along the edges of Stein's.

Stein's brow rose, and Spirit's stomach turned nervously as he saw hesitation in his meister's eyes. Since when had Stein ever been uncertain about resonance? But it faded quickly, and as Stein's soul slowly entwined with his he watched a soundless sigh escape his partner's lips.

Somehow resonating still gave no clarity to the look in Stein's eyes, and there was something in his soul that he was keeping guarded. But there was also such a great relief in the connection that Spirit felt his own anxiety begin to calm in time with Stein's.

Outside the window, the sun dipped below the lowest branches of the trees and sent brighter beams of light piercing the room, illuminating Stein's face and Spirit's hands and reflecting brightly off the guitar. Stein closed his eyes against the invasion and shifted to be more comfortable on Spirit's leg, the side of his head still leaned against the instrument.

Spirit cleared his throat as he shifted his hand up the neck of the guitar and shaped the next chord, readying to sing the song's chorus again. Stein's soul was relaxing into his, and Spirit's own slowly calmed in response. He wished he could convince Stein to let go of whatever it was that still had his heart pounding, but he was grateful for the trust he'd been given; if Stein wanted him to know, he would tell him eventually.

He strummed the chord. He watched Stein's expression soften with the sound, the lines of tension in his forehead ease. Their resonance matched effortlessly to the frequency, and Spirit strummed the chord again.

He sighed and reached down to Stein's chest, and the meister's eyes opened briefly when Spirit separated his hands and wove their fingers together.

Spirit sang, and soon his voice was the only audible sound as the last echoes from the amplifier died in the small room.

The tension on Stein's face continued to ease. He turned slightly to press his forehead into the now-silent guitar, but it didn't block the light and he kept his eyes closed.

Stein's wavelength was still gradually relaxing, and Spirit wrapped his around the younger teen's and let the warmth and safety in the sound take him. He let go the If nothing else, he hoped Stein felt the same assurance that he did—that there was no greater sanctuary for his soul than in harmony with his partner.

Spirit released Stein's hand to strum another chord, letting his fingers brush silver hair after following their natural path across the strings. When he reached for Stein's hand again the meister's was already blindly seeking his, and when the smaller fingers folded between his they held on tight.

Spirit continued to sing. And as the sun finished its descent, he watched the light slowly fade from Stein's face.

A/N: I imagine Spirit wrote something far more interesting, musically, but the lyrics I couldn't help but reference are from this song which I'm obsessed with because of this incredible art. So I selfishly put those in. I also have no skill whatsoever in writing lyrics and I needed lyrics, so, why not pull from my obsession...lol. Those lines also hit the right vibe as in...the song Spirit wrote is about them, their relationship. Just kinda...two hard-hitting lines to get the point across. But no, Spirit wrote something far more interesting. Pretend as much or as little of that song is part of this as you want, I didn't think much past those two lines. Even though that song is them to me, it's not them as teenagers so yeah. And if anyone even remembers, this song he wrote for Stein here is fact the song he played in Cadenza. I cannot help myself but to reveal... The tragedy here is that Spirit only partially-understood Stein's distress. And Stein ain't gonna tell him. Augh. Angst. (I'll tell if asked.) Okay, anyway. Thanks for reading!

[sofoulandfairaday]

heyyy i’m new to bellamort and i think they’ve become my otp already thanks to you,

what are your favourite recs? mostly sweet, however much they can be and some spicy ones.

thank you!!!

Anon, this comment made me GIGGLE like an idiot, huge grin on my face - thank you thank you thank you so much. This is the best compliment I’ve ever gotten! It literally means the world.

With that being said - and this goes for the other people in my inbox asking for recs - I’m not the best person to ask. Firstly, I don’t read that much fanfic (hi, med student running on virtually no sleep here) and I’m always behind on reviews (fanfiction is meant to be enjoyed from my laptop with a cup of tea and no one in the house so i can weep/shriek/pace etc). Secondly, I suck at keeping track of what I read.

Thirdly, your ask in particular is virtually impossible because I live for the grief. I lap up angst like a kitten does milk.

Sweetness… meh. (Except of course when I cry and moan about the fact that I need to stop reading for the day because a fanfic literally made my heart ache. I'm telling you, I suffer more for these two than I do my irl friends and that says something about me.)

Anyway, this is what I’ll do. I’ll link some of my favourite authors (in English, if you want Italian recs just ask and I will deliver) and I’ll leave you to browse their pages and see what speaks to you. These are just off the top of my head, and on Tumblr and around Ao3 (if you know how to filter), you'll find other great ones!

(If I forget someone, or if anyone who reads *is* a Bellamort author, feel free to tag them/yourself in this post, or in a reblog.)

@star-named-riddle - Nefaria_Black @saintsenara - Asenora @deslea - deslea (where are you, girl, I need you) Abigail Belle (ex Gamma Orionis) (see above) meanwhiletimely (see above) Also, there's this masterpiece by @metalomagnetic featuring Rodolphus which GHHHHHHHH. Is all I'll say. Screaming, crying, hollering, etc etc etc. (There's also this masterpiece by the same author but even looking it up to link it made me shake and I won't speak of it until I have processed my grief because I have people to see later in the day and I cannot be dazed or aching or in tears or shellshocked by the rawness of the writing etc etc etc)

And finally, the most recommended (and popular, I think) Bellamort fanfiction ever, which I admit I've never read in full (I know, I know, believe me when I say I have no time/mental fortitude) which is of course Surrogate.

They are all absolutely brilliant for reasons I wish I could get into right now (they deserve proper recs, this hasty reply does not do them justice). They all present different but equally fascinating versions of my characters.

Unfortunately, none of them are really saccharine/fluffy. There is softness but it's always bittersweet in most of them. WHICH IS HOW I LIKE IT MUAHAHHAA- coff coff.

Happy reading! :)

[chenfordsbby]

"The Pilot"

Welome to the very first drop of "Get in the Shop" !

Welcome to the start of “Get in The Shop!” The Rookie Re-Watch Blog! I am not sure how I plan on going about doing this blog, but there is no time like the present to start.  I have to warn that this is one of those figure out as I go type of ordeals; I have never done this before and I did brief research about the “dos and donts” of blogging, especially one of a tv show recap so I truly am just going to go with the flow.  I think I am going to post a new blog drop every Sunday and if I have any extra time during the week, maybe a Tuesday?!

If I try one thing and it doesn’t work, I will move and and try the next best thing with the end goal of having the best blogging/re-watch system that I can create for myself.  I am not an expert in any way.  This blog is solely a fan based one that I am choosing to do for my own mental health to get me, myself and I through whoever long this summer (plus) hiatus may last and if I happen to find friends along the way that will read my thoughts and interact with me then I couldn’t ask for anything better!

I think I will take notes as I watch the episode and then immediately following it, I will expand on those notes or should I watch the episode in its entirety in full and then type up everything I want to say about said episodes…

I want to preface the beginning of my re-watch by saying that I had no idea that this show even existed prior to me finding it on Tik Tok.  I saw a #Chenford scene from Season 5 Episode ! That was blowing up on TikTok and I immediately started watching it so I can obsessed over a new OTP without realizing Tim & Lucy weren’t even a though until Season 5.  So I did start it because of them but stayed because of how much I love this show.  

I am going to try my best to do this re-watch as if I don’t know anything that is to come in later episodes/seasons but I make no definitely promises!!

Let’s get into it!!!

Season 1 Episode 1: 

Title: “The Pilot” Original Air Date: October 15th, 2018

Synopsis: After a life altering incident, a small town guy (Nathan Fillion) peruses his dream of being a police officer.

First Impression of John Nolan: Eager

First Impression of Jackson West: Naive

First impression on Angela Lopez: Badass

First Impression on Talia Bishop: Out of Place

First Impression on Lucy Chen: Hotshot 

First Impression on Tim Bradford: Hot! #IYKYK

First Impression on Wade Grey: Seasoned

First Impression on Zoe Anderson: Authoritative

The episode begins with a bank robbery.  Which is fitting given there needs to be something to correlate this show with the premise of it: “A Silly Little Cop Show”.  John Nolan was definitely at the right place at the right time. Without knowing he goes on to become a cop after the bank robbery- you can tell that John has a passion for helping people.  You have to want to help people in some capacity in wanting to become a police officer right? 

The very first showing of The Rookie theme song.  It is a not even 10 second snippet of a full length song but man does it work.  It works so good that I am glad they never got rid of it.  There were shows that I watched in the past who had a whole opening credit scene/song which eventually faded out for it to just be a title card of the show (One Tree Hill I’m looking at you) so for The Rookie to have just ended its 5th season and to still have the little opening credit is cool!

After the cold open, the timeline jumps to “Nine Months Later”.  The first day on the real job.  No more training wheels, no more tests (so Lucy Chen thinks), no more papers and skills labs.  The beginning of the rest of their lives.

The introduction of Lucy Chen. She isn’t even clocked in for her first day of work and she already makes an arrest.  Way too cool for us or way too over eager to make a lasting first impression to everyone at the station?  Only time will tell.  But do you know what did make a great first impression? Her car!  Let’s hope this isn’t the last we see of that thing!  

I know we are focusing on the present but it doesn’t mean I can’t wish that we saw any kind of flashbacks of the time that not only John but Lucy and Jackson were in the academy. How did they get there? How did they excel or did they fail? What happened in the academy that John, Lucy and Jackson all became friends?!  It would’ve been cool to see!

Enter the infamous roll call room and the immediate jokes of John Nolans’ age. I really have no background regarding anything police related but I am assuming that someone of John’s age normally isn’t a rookie cop.  More so of the age of Lucy and Jackson.  So I don’t think this will be the last we hear of any ageist jokes of John Nolan and being a Rookie.  You can tell it is all in good fun and John takes it in stride. We all love our enemies to lovers storylines, but will there be an enemies to friendship between John and Wade Grey? This first episode shows no, but only time will tell.  We all have to be forever grateful to Watch Commander Wade Grey for playing the “Training Officer Match Game” and matching up rookie Lucy Chen with Training Officer Tim Bradford. (Thank you writers!)

The very first day gets off to a start.  The T.O’s teaching all of their boots the basics of the shop.  The ins and outs of the shop, what to do every morning, before going out on patrol to start your shift.  The basics and less than exciting aspect of being a cop.

Tim and Lucy. Or what we only knew then: Officer Bradford and Boot.” Lucy had no idea what to expect, not form her first day on the job and certainly not from her T.O. I think she immediately wanted to try to create some sort of bond/friendship with Tim but quickly realized that went out the window when he did his very first, what we all have come to learn and love, “Tim Test”.  “I’ve been shot! Where are you boot? I’m bleeding to death and you have to call for help. Where are you?” We will get back to that later on..

Side Note: I am trying very hard to pretend I have never seen any other episode besides this first one.  It is hard to compare Tim and Lucy then with what we know about their relationship now and just how their friendship progressed. I want to recap the episodes as if I was watching it for the ver first time.  It is hard but I ma going to do it!!!

Food Trucks! I never eat at food trucks much but do they officers of Mid-Wilshire make me want too!  The scene at the food truck was a nice way to show the two separate trios separately but together.  You have the experienced, veteran officers: Tim, Talia and Angela and then you have the brand new rookie officers: John, Lucy and Jackson. It’s smart TV. Yes this show is about John Nolan but it’s also about so, so much more.

You quickly start to see how much John cares about wanting to be a cop but in hindsight really has no idea just how to be one.  He thinks he does, mainly because of his age, but he doesn’t, not really.  All he knows is the 9 months he was in the academy. That’s it and it is evident the amount of training that he does need. He hopes he’s doing all the right things in order to succeed but in reality he is not: Using the baton to try to break the car window repeatedly even though it didn’t work the first few times; not putting on his gloves when going to help the husband of the domestic violence call- Blood Bourne Pathogens anyone?  Throughout this whole episode you quickly see how eager John is to be “a cop” but not HOW to be a cop. One thing is for sure is that John knows his way with words. The potential is there- it just needs to be taught.

The comedic relief of this show is introduced and it is much appreciated.  “I just got a disturbing video.  I’ve never seen anything so horrific..so prepare yourselves” said one Grey Wade and turns out it was the body cam footage of John trying to hop the fence.  There needs to be some light hearted fun in a profession where it can be serious most of the time!

I am immediately intrigued by this already established friendship between Lucy Chen, Jackson West and John Nolan. We already saw them interact in their work life so now we see them interacting in their personal lives.  It is a nice storytelling aspect of this episode.  The premise of the show is about the lives of newbie police officers but what happens after they clock out for their shift? And now we get to see it! The karaoke bar cuts right into the morning after where they make us want to believe John called the badge bunny and they spent the night together but SURPRISE! John wakes up to Lucy Chen!

(Please don’t hate me for what I am about to say)

The first time I watched this- I have to say I wasn’t turned off entirely by the brief relationship of John and Lucy. (Considering at this time, the romantic side of Tim and Lucy wasn’t even a thought, to anyone and that John really had better chemistry with literally anyone else). I am not opposed to have seen this relationship continue for a bit longer, if this was the only romantic option for either Lucy or John, I think I would have been okay with this relationship, I think it had potential.  John wants their relationship to become public and Lucy doesn’t. Lucy has every right to feel those feelings. Lucy knew from the start that no matter what she did in her career she would always have to fight for her place in the force where John would never be questioned twice for it and rightfully so: sexism. Talia seeing that little moment between Lucy and John at the end of the episode after the shoot out was on purpose.  It just confirmed to Lucy that she was correct in her feelings and reasonings as to why she wanted her and Johns relationship to remain a secret. 

It’s only the second day on the job and we already start to see Lucy’s frustration with Tim.  She quickly sees that Tim’s training methods are not conventional.  I don’t think we know that they are called Tim Tests yet, but outside of the liquor store, we witness Tim Test #2 and as Lucy is cuffing Ghost Head we meet an Isabel.  The Tim we saw is gone. The second he lays eyes on Isabel he becomes a shell of a person. The tears well up in his eyes and his voice cracks. He is no longer Officer Bradford, he is just Tim Bradford; a man that is desperate for his wife who he hasn’t seen in over a year. That does something to a person and Tim hides it well. Does Isabel recognize him at first? It’s hard to say but what is clear is that Tim is helpless when it comes to her.  I mean wouldn’t anyone who hasn’t seen their WIFE in over a year be, no matter what their profession is. He does exactly what she asked him to do: give her money even though its the last thing he wanted to do.  The quick glance back to Lucy? What does that mean?

You can’t have a cop show without actual action scenes right?!  And this one literally started with a bang!

I never expected Tim to get shot at in the very first episode but it was smart storytelling.  Tim’s first “Tim Test” paid off well because there was zero hesitation when Lucy called in Tim being shot. She knew what to say and how to say it and she did it with fierce conviction. It’s only been two days but Tim knew what he was doing when that first test was executed.

We didn’t see much of Jackson or Angela this episode in the field until the very end. And what a way to end this episode for Jackson, which left us all scratching our heads at the cliffhanger question: Why did Jackson freeze up in the middle of the field?  We can’t get all of the answers in the first episode and the confrontation between him and Angela in the locker room was a nice segue to what’s to come for them.  Not only for them but for the rest of the ensemble! It was a stellar first episode of the start of an amazing series!

At the end of every recap I am going to do an honorable mention that I did not discuss at all in my above rant as well an episode “peak” the high point of the episode, what made the episode great among other things and a “pit” the low point of the episode, something we could’ve done without and just a few random thoughts I need to get off my chest!!

Honorable Mention: The long sleeve uniforms!

Episode Peak: The introduction of “Boot”

Episode Pit: John Nolan’s Hair

Episode Rating: 10/10 (It was the Pilot Episode I would be a troll if I rated it any less!)

Random Thoughts:

I have never heard of Melissa O'Neil until I watched this show and it's safe to say my life is changed for the better now that I know that precious of a human exists. She was made a lasting imprint on my life in the best way possible. I will be a forever fan of hers.

Eric Winter ages life fineeeeeee wineeeeeee

I would love for these posts to be an open dialogue! I want to connect with other fans and hear your thoughts and opinions! What do you agree with? What do you disagree with?!  Is there anything I should change for my future blogs? I want this to be not only a fun hiatus but a fun thing for all of us to do together!

Until next time on “Get in The Shop”!

[indelicateink]

my brain will not allow me to repurpose* songs that I mentally associate** with one otp to another otp, and i’m curious if anyone else struggles. if you have song(s) for your otp, will your brain allow you to also apply them to another of your otps?

*(repurpose as in: you associate a song with one otp, and now your brain allows you to ALSO or INSTEAD associate it with another otp)

**(associate as in “this song always makes me think of this otp,” or “this song belongs on my mental soundtrack for this otp,” or “this song belongs to this otp or this character whilst they’re in in this otp,” etc.)

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Musical Ramble Part 3: Jukebox Musical

yes I'm back on this MWAHAHAHAHAHA

I’m also wondering if RWRB would work as a Jukebox musical (a musical using pop songs instead of original songs, our darling Nicholas has already starred in a, with all due respect, not that good one: Cinderella 2021)

That way we can keep some of the amazing song choices in the movie: If I Loved You, Get Low, Can’t Help Falling in Love With You. Plus with RWRB being a modern fairy tale and stuff maybe straight-up using pop songs would work better with the entire tone of the show/movie

But like, certain scenes/moments/songs from & Juliet and Moulin Rouge (ok these are the only two jukebox musicals I’ve listen to so far) could work for RWRB (yes I’m realizing this is more me finding musical songs that work for RWRB than anything but sue me)

“I Kissed a Girl/Boy” from & Juliet/ Katy Perry would work well for the entire Red Room -> Hook Up -> Polo Scene, granted RWRB would be more intense than what’s in & Juliet since our boys are doing… a little more than kissing :)

“Whataya want from me” also from & Juliet/ Adam Lambert, even from the same ship, can work for the Kensington Confrontation

This is less direct, but parts of “Elephant Love Medley” from Mouline Rouge, more distinctly in the Broadway show version, Santine sings about how love is not something she believes in while Christian sings about how he wants love with her. The idea of a love medley can work with Firstprince too, maybe during the Paris date or the lake scene: Henry not believing he can have love while Alex wanting to tell Henry that he’s in love with him. Plus Your Song (and Can't Help Falling in Love, briefly, in the broadway show version) makes an appearance :D (Even though personally I think Can't Help Falling in Love fits Firstprince more)

A lot of us talk about how Taylor Swift-coded Firstprince is, and it’s true (and I personally love it), but in a jukebox musical, the TS songs can be directly used: personally think Labyrinth would be fitting for where If I Love you is in the film, but having Henry sing it, especially since the first verse fits the imagery of Henry holding his aching heart under the water so well (sorry I can't find the freaking gif) :

It only hurts this much right now

Was what I was thinking the whole time

Breathe in, breathe through

Breathe deep, breathe out

I'll be getting over you my whole life

You know how scared I am of elevators

Never trust it if it rises fast

It can't last

Uh oh, I'm falling in love

Oh no, I'm falling in love again

Oh, I'm falling in love

I thought the plane was going down

How'd you turn it right around

And my other otp Malec kind of owns this song, but Ruelle’s War of Hearts at the very least lyrically suits Firstprince as well:

I can't help but love you

Even though I try not to

I can't help but want you

I know that I'd die without you

And Nick’s song Comfort (which I have been listening to on loop, its amazing please go check it out) actually suits Henry’s mentality really well:

Wanna stay, wanna run, wanna disappear

I keep biting my tongue just to keep you here

Made you wait for someone I could never be

And it's killing me

I’ll be the first to admit I don’t actually listen to that much pop music, so please please please feel free to add more, but so far this is what I got in terms of jukebox musical and narrative pop songs

Part 1 / Part 2