#ougai mori author

[plinko-mori]

"Vita Sexualis is an erotic story!"

Also Vita Sexualis:

Protagonist at 6 wanted to pick up flowers and was told "isn't it pathetic for a man to pick up flowers?"

Protagonist almost got rapped when he was 11 and his father told him "to take care of himself next time"

“I couldn’t the least imagine any female liking me once she had seen my face” —13 year old boy very insecure about himself

Wants to socialize but is unable to do it because he doesn't understand the social skills, so starts seeing everything like an experiment to understand

Wanted to know if stepmothers are as bad as fairytales but got traumatized because of the bad hygiene of one

At 18, a 14 year old girl wanted to date him but he wasn't interested + she was still a kid for him

At 20 his mother told him «I don't remember giving birth to an invalid son» because he didn't want to marry a woman if they didn't like each other

At the end of the book, his last reflection is «don't submit to your father, don't obey him»

[chuuyanakaahara]

i will personally never forgive yenpress for botching the translation because now it's impossible to find chuuya / dazai / yosano takes that do not start with "first off, mori sucks and he's a predator"

mori is the don of the port mafia and has committed several war crimes, but not those ones. yell at him and hate him for the severe psychological manipulation of yosano & for dazai joining the mafia n being his witness. you know, the things he did.

[ectohybrid]

my mori headcanons because people are wrong too much

1. he listens to oingo boingo. why? hes insane. a freak. he murders for fun with a scalpel and a little girl soldier that has a giant syringe. this guy fucking loves oingo boingo

2. he has two (2) consecutive outfits for mafia business. this is because in his natural habitat he dresses like a divorced father and the rest of his wardrobe is as such

3. a section of his home is intricately styled to be as imposing looking as possible for when guests are over while the rest is a private mess as i doubt mori's home very often

4. he never had pets as a kid so before joining the army he had one singular goldfish and gave it to a family member or something when he got drafted. that thing is still going strong and is now one of those decade old giant goldfish. mori is kinda scared of it, dazai has met it personally. mori never maded it by the way but dazai refers to it as elise the first

my evil evil problematic blorbo

[obsidianstrawberrymilk]

Random bsd theories

Finished 113 and uh. Uh

The member of the Agency who's gonna get transferred to the PM will probably be Tanizaki, or Yosano. I know there was that whole deal Mori and Fukuzawa made but there's no reason for Mori to keep it, and Yosano being forced to work with the man who caused her trauma would be a very interesting arc. That said it's also been noted multiple times Tanizaki would make a good assassin and Asagiri flat out said he's the member of the ADA closest to evil, sooo-

Gin Akutagawa is going to get Rashoumon if Akutagawa is actually dead. I don't know if he is even after the vampirism but I think he should be, because it would finally give some stakes to this series bc no one has died before and it would make Fyodor as a threat matter. Anyway I think it would make sense if Gin were to get it, especially considering with Tachihara's current unknown state that's another reason to get her more involved with the plot.

Fyodor's not actually dead. There's no way he's been built up over the past 2/3 arcs to die like THAT.

Aya has an ability. What it is, I'm not sure, I know her irl author's most famous work is Nagareru, which I have not read, so maybe something to do with that?

Also, Higuchi is going to become important soon. Asagiri has confirmed she has an ability - I'm betting we're going to find out what it is soon. Especially if Akutagawa is actually dead, which again I think he is because otherwise all the buildup was wasted, I think she's gonna get an arc of her own soon.

Dazai is going to be forced to develop and it won't be pretty. I've seen notes that he's kinda regressing back into his 'Demon Prodigy mindset' from the healthier one he developed with the ADA in the earlier arcs, before Mori released Q, in order to protect himself and the ADA from threats like Fyodor - so he's been more willing to sacrifice people or colder with his plans. In order to get out of that spiral something is going to need to snap him out of it.

Oh speaking of that - Dazai is either the son or grandson of the Old Boss of the Port Mafia from before Mori took over. Explains why he was implied to have known the old boss, and why his ability is basically an anti-ability, if he was constantly around someone so unstable and had to protect himself.

The Order of the Clocktower are going to become new antagonists with Agatha Christie also playing a role. We already know she exists in the BSD verse and the potential for a character based on her as a villain is insane. I'm also thinking she could potentially be the actual 5th member of the Decay of Angels, considering Sigma has existed for all of 3 years and spent a lot of that time actively being human trafficked, yet the organization was clearly prominent for years before that.

[ficresc]

“Mori Ougai greets her with a smile, calm in a way that only powerful men could truly be.” 

deeply rooted by setosdarkness [T, 4k]

[ao3screenshotss]

[pegging-satan]

If you’d told me that I’d be shipping a bunch of classic lit authors with each other say like, a year ago, I would’ve laughed in your face

[crowscadence]

My favorite part of BEAST is the fact that mori is dead

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

save me morally corrupt doctors…. save me………

[lupines-slash-recs]

Rec: Daffodil by Mushroomfields

Title: Daffodil Author: Mushroomfields Canon: Bungo Stray Dogs Pairing: Yukichi Fukuzawa/Ougai Mori Rating: General [G] Word Count: 83,084 Summary: Mori and Fukuzawa are hit with an ability that transports them to a parallel universe. Now, stuck in an unfamiliar world

Continue reading...

[plinko-mori]

which is your favourite vita sexualis scene?

I'm between Rintarou Mori explaining the etymology of the word cynic, its relationship with dogs and how Rintarou narrates his dislike of a friend who despises women and etc. Like in general when he mixes definitions and facts with his emotions and opinions

I also like the part where he shouts fart in German in his class, making the teacher blush and say "You shouldn't say those things"

[bsd-cherish-official]

Bungou Stray Dogs: Cherish — A Grand Directory & Master List

Seeing as that I have made many posts now on the topic, and anticipate many, many more in the future as the story further progresses, I decided it may be prudent to create a masterlist, to make the posts more accessible to myself and others.

The version of this list you are presently reading is current as of April 6th, 2024. As Tumblr does not auto-update reblogged posts that are later edited, if you are reading this from a reblog, this list may not immediately appear up to date; to ‘refresh’ it, please click here.

Thank you, and I hope you enjoy!

Primary Posts

Read Cherish here ( <— a direct link to the fic)

Main Tumblr Post & Update Thread

Fic Status Page

Cherish Development Notes

Origin

Overviews & Outlines

Arc 1 — Vagabond:

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 |

Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | 

Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | TBD | TBD |

Arc 2:

TBD

Arc 3:

TBD

Arc 4:

TBD

Arc 5:

TBD

Finished Artwork Posts

Poet!Arthur Main Artwork & Profile Overview

Cover Art

Christmas 2022 Chibi Artwork

Valentine’s Day 2023 Chibi ChuuArt Artwork

Milestone Celebration Artwork: 50 Kudos

White Day 2023 Chibi Artwork  (+ Speedpaint)

Milestone Celebration Artwork: 1,000 Hits

Milestone Celebration Artwork: 5 Followers

Happy Birthday, Paul Verlaine! 2023 Chibi Artwork

Happy Birthday, Chuuya Nakahara! 2023 Chibi Artwork

“Atlantis” — Arc 1 Visual

“Lithium” — Arc 1 Angst Art (Part 1 of 2) (+ Speedpaint)

“You Are The Reason” Fluff Art

Xenoblade Chronicles 3 Crossover Artworks

The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes Crossover Artwork

Cherish Second Anniversary Chibi Artwork (2023)

Arc 1 — Vagabond:

‘Movies’ Arc 1 Animatic

Beginning Title

Chapter 1 | TBD | TBD | Chapter 4 | TBD | TBD |

Chapter 7 | TBD | Chapter 9 | TBD | TBD | TBD |

Chapter 13 | TBD | TBD |

Arc 2:

TBD

Arc 3:

TBD

Arc 4:

TBD

Arc 5:

TBD

Cherish Audiobook

Arc 1 — Vagabond:

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 |

Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 |

Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | TBD | TBD |

Arc 2:

TBD

Arc 3:

TBD

Arc 4:

TBD

Arc 5:

TBD

Posted WIPs

Chapter 1 Artwork WIP

Christmas 2022 Chibi Artwork (Colored Sketch)

“If BONES animated Cherish Chapter 7” (Colored Sketch)

Valentine’s Day 2023 Chibi Artworks (Colored Sketch & Sketch)

Hellfire from Hunchback of Notre Dame-inspired Chapter 13 Shitpost (Sketch)

Paul Verlaine Birthday Chibi Artwork (2023) (Sketch)

Chuuya Nakahara Birthday Chibi Artwork (Sketch)

Arc 1 Animatic Preview

Cherish Second Anniversary Chibi Artwork (2023) (Sketch)

BSD Arthur Rimbaud and poet Arthur Rimbaud Birthday Chibi Artwork 2023 (Sketch)

Paul Verlaine Birthday Chibi Artwork (2024) (Sketch)

Boop Day Chibi Artwork (April Fool’s Day Tumblr Event 2024) (Sketch)

Special Events

Milestone Celebration Plans

‘Future Chapters’ Ask Event (OPEN)

‘Future Chapters’ Event — Question 1 (PARTIAL END SPOILERS)

‘Chapter Titles’ Ask Event (OPEN)

‘Choosing an Alias’ Event (CLOSED)

‘1,000 Hits Milestone’ Poll (CLOSED)

1,000 Hits Milestone Celebration: Free Cherish Art Requests (OPEN)

‘1,000 Hits Milestone’ Poll 2 (CLOSED)

Poll About Possible Inclusion of a Status Page (CLOSED)

Second Anniversary Interview Polls (CLOSED):

Poll 1 | Poll 2 | Poll 3 | Poll 4 | Poll 5 | Poll 6 | Poll 7 | Poll 8 |

Poll 9 | Poll 10

Second Anniversary Interview

Angst Art Interest Check Poll (CLOSED)

Cherish Project Priorities Poll (CLOSED)

Other Posts

Reaction to accidentally publishing Cherish before it was ready

Initial Reaction to Official Artwork Collaboration with Asachuu

Reflecting on the scrapped “beta name” of Cherish

Reaction to a guest comment on Cherish

Initial reaction to successfully creating the rough draft of an animatic for a distant future chapter.

Response to an ask about which fic would be ideal as a film

‘Edge’ Warning for Chapter 6 & First Reveal of Chapter 6 Joke Summary

Realizing the Potential Romantic Interpretation of the Resuscitation Scene, One Year After Posting It

Chapter 6 Pre-Posting Announcement

Pre-“Cherish Development Notes” Post, Asking if Anyone Would Be Interested in It.

Awkwardly Addressing an Accidental Chapter Draft Posting 

Reaction After Calculating How Many Chapters Cherish Should Have 😅

Update on Cherish progress and life struggles — November 28, 2022

Announcement about this MasterList

Announcement about Chapter 7 Official Artwork

Thoughts about and plans for Chapter 9′s Official Artwork

Thoughts on what Cherish has taught me

Reacting to posting Chapter 12 early and unfinished, and having to correct this

Musing on the VerRim/Rimlaine ship names, both in and out of the context of Cherish

Gushing about co-artist Asachuu

Response to fan comment + ask about general thoughts on Mori

Apology for Chapter 13 delay

Response to fan comment + Chapter 14 story request

Reaction to 69 kudos being maintained for awhile

Update on fic status (May 28th, 2023)

1,000 Hits Milestone Celebration: Free Cherish Art Requests Reblog & Commentary 1

1,000 Hits Milestone Celebration: Free Cherish Art Requests Reblog & Commentary 2

Update on fic status (July 5th, 2023)

“The world is a cruel and unjust place” Cherish meme

Commentary on Cherish & Themes of Abuse (Part 1)

Commentary on Cherish & Themes of Abuse (Part 2)

Announcement of the inclusion of a new Status Page for the fic

Announcement of Poll-Based Interview for Second Anniversary Celebration

Announcement of Closing of Second Anniversary Interview Polls

100 Posts Milestone Post

25 Reblogs Milestone Post

Announcement of Cherish Audiobook Chapter 2 having been recorded

Response to friend’s reaction to Chapter 2 Audiobook recording announcement

Update on Fic Status (October 1st, 2023)

Commentary on the amount of art Cherish is getting for October 2023

100 Likes Milestone Post

Angst Art Stream Announcement 1

Angst Art Stream Announcement 2

Fluff Art Stream Announcement 1

Fluff Art Stream Announcement 2

Fluff Art Stream Announcement 3

Fluff Art Stream Announcement 4

Fluff Art Stream Announcement 5

Fluff Art Stream Announcement 6

Fluff Art Stream Announcement 7

Fluff Art Stream Announcement 8

Fluff Art Stream Announcement 9

“The Unique Loneliness of Cherish” Commentary 1

“The Unique Loneliness of Cherish” Commentary 2

Response to Cherish Project Priorities Poll

Arc 1 Cherish Animatic Teaser Comment 1

Arc 1 Cherish Animatic Teaser Comment 2

Cherish Status Update  (March 21st, 2024)

Fan Creations

Chapter 8 Meme by Truedge ( + Reaction by Cherish’s author and first artist Linkle)

—

Have questions? Check out the About page and the F.A.Q.!

[sakiyaki-sashimi]

I want someone to write a BSD fic about the ADA and/or Chuuya meeting Dazais exes and it would get weird SO FUCKING QUICK.

Example:

Dazai: awwww fedya how’s it been

ADA: huh?????

Dazai: AWWWWWW NIKOLAI HOWS IT BEEN 🥰💫💫💫

ADA: HUH??????

Dazai: Y’all don’t even get to meet Shibusawa

ADA: who?? 😭😭

Dazai: come on, that’s not even the weirder ones :((

Chuuya: the weirder ones? What does that mean Dazai

Dazai, idly: does mori count? I don’t think so

Chuuya: YOU DIDNT ANSWER MY QUESTION

[osarina]

ᡣ𐭩 YOU AND ME (ALWAYS FOREVER)!

FEATURING: dark era!dazai osamu

SUMMARY: more than friends, not quite lovers. that's been your relationship with dazai osamu for as long as you can remember. you didn't want to push him, and you gave him plenty of chances, but there's only so long you can wait for someone. you thought you would be better off moving on—you were wrong, of course. (wordcount: 4.8k; sfw; angst (???) but with a happy ending)

AUTHOR'S NOTES: dark era dazai </3 my heart, i got a sudden urge to write for him and i wanted it to be fluff but then i got this idea and just had to go with it (warnings: fem!reader, smoking & drinking, suicide attempt mentions)

In your defense, you were never dating Dazai Osamu.

Not for a lack of trying on your part, of course. You’ve made your interest in him clear since you met him at sixteen during the Dragon’s Head Conflict, when Mori Ougai pulled you back from where you were stationed in Kyoto dealing with his associates to help with the declining situation in Yokohama. And you’d thought he felt similarly to you. You really did. The two of you had become inseparable within weeks of knowing each other, such a swift and strong connection that it almost felt unreal. You’d heard rumors of him, of course, before coming back to Yokohama—the infamous Demon Prodigy that Mori had brought in and groomed into becoming his heir, ruthless and cold and so terrifyingly intelligent that he had the entire upper echelon of the Port Mafia on edge. 

By the time you got back to Yokohama, he’d already had a heavy reputation following him, dark shadows clinging to him like a second skin. Demon Prodigy. Black Wraith. So many monikers attached to him, but he never really felt like the monster that everyone claimed him to be.

He and Nakahara Chuuya had been the one sent to retrieve you from Yokohama Station, an area very close to the heart of the gang conflict, and even from the first meeting, he’d always been… well, you’re not going to say normal because he’s not normal. He’s always had an unnerving air about him, eyes a bit too cold and dark, smile a bit too teethy, but he’s always come across as just another kid your age. Maybe a bit lonelier than most, which could be off-putting to other people, but it never bothered you. And yes, you’ve seen the way other members of the Mafia treat him—they’re scared of him, go to extreme lengths so as to not cross paths with him, but you’ve never seen him in the same light they do.

Well, not until recently, at least. 

Again. In your defense, you were never dating him. 

But you’d known he cared about you as more than a friend. And you’d cared about him as more than a friend too. And you waited. You waited almost two years for him to say something. You didn’t want to do it yourself, you know Dazai is flighty and he’s not used to emotions, and you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, but god, there’s only so much waiting you can take before you start to give up.

When the two year mark hit, you’d become convinced that Dazai was never going to act on his feelings for you; instead, he’d prefer to wait it out until they passed, and if they never did, he’d just pretend they didn’t exist at all. You can’t really blame him, the Mafia is not a place conducive for relationships, it’s only a matter of time before your luck runs out and one of you end up dead by a bullet through the head or captured by the enemy, and the thought of getting attached to someone only to lose them is enough to scare anyone away. 

But you don’t want to live your life in fear, no matter how short it may be, and you also don’t want to live it alone. So when an opportunity arose at a cafe near the main headquarters, where you met a civilian around your age who showed immediate interest in you, you jumped on it. And it’d caught a lot of people off guard—Kouyou was surprised, Chuuya was baffled and questioning what a civilian could possibly have that interested you, even Mori gave you a double take and an odd look the first time he overheard Elise interrogating you about your new boyfriend.

But no one took it as poorly as Dazai.

Your throat feels tight as you remember the hurt expression that crossed over his face when you told him. It was so brief and so foreign of an expression to see on his face that you’d thought you’d imagined it, he was quick to school his expression back into a cold and closed-off one (one that he’d never directed toward you before that moment), but there was no mistaking the way the corner of his lip twitched and the way he suddenly couldn’t meet your eyes. 

How nice, he’d told you, voice frighteningly icy, acidic, even, before he made a half-assed excuse about a mission that you knew he wasn’t assigned to. And it was so unlike him to offer himself up to handle missions, usually Mori has to force him with threats of giving Chuuya his executive position for him to do anything that makes him extend the barest amount of effort . But he did, and he handled it, very bloodily and uncharacteristically inefficient, as if he was releasing all of his pent up rage onto the unfortunate souls who happened to stumble into Port Mafia territory.

You were never, at any point, dating Dazai Osamu. 

You think you’ve told yourself it hundreds of times over the past three months, throwing yourself into your work and enjoying a relationship with a boy who clearly was invested in you and cares about you in a way that Dazai Osamu would never allow himself to admit. You also think that Dazai Osamu has no right being as bitter and angry as he is—you gave him two years to come to terms with his feelings and make a move, you’ve made your own subtle hints that he promptly ignored. If he wanted to be with you, he blew his chance a hundredfold, and he can go screw off if he thinks he can be upset about it only after you’d found someone else. 

Which is what he did, pretty much, and it was a lot harder than you expected—going from talking to him every waking second of every day, seeking him out whenever you have free time and vice versa, to only seeing him during the joint meetings between the executives and sub executives, where even then, he wouldn’t even spare you a glance. It was hard, and deep down, you don’t think being able to experience an actual relationship was worth losing your best friend, but the damage had already been done by that point, so you could only lie in the bed you made. 

And you did enjoy the relationship. The boy you’d met was sweet. He was good. He was impressively smart—a government and law major at one of the most prestigious universities in this part of the country—and humble to a fault. 

But he wasn’t Dazai. 

You knew in your heart that you didn’t want sweet or good, no matter how much you tried to convince yourself otherwise. You didn’t want the type of smart that he was, top of his class and on track for law school, seeking out a job as a public defender in Tokyo. You wanted the type of smart Dazai was, wicked and devious, putting together vicious and efficient strategies to take down enemies of the Mafia, on track for taking over the position as boss in the future. You wanted him for all of his twisted moralities and questionable thoughts.

And it was unfair to you, and it was unfair to Dazai, and most importantly it was unfair to the boy you kept leading on, that you’ve refused to acknowledge this for as long as you have just for the chance of experiencing a real relationship. 

Which is why you stand here now, outside the infamous Bar Lupin that you know Dazai has been drinking himself into oblivion at everyday for the past three months, notably single and possibly about to meet your end at the hands of a drunken and scorned Mafia executive. 

You think you must look like a fool right now. You’ve been standing right outside the door in the rain for fifteen minutes debating on whether or not you should actually go in. You’re nervous, and that makes you sad because you’ve never been nervous to talk to Dazai before, and you’re not nervous because you’re scared of him, you’re nervous because you don’t think you have the balls to actually confront him, knowing that you’d genuinely hurt the boy that everyone claimed didn’t have the emotions to be hurt. He let you in when he doesn’t let anyone in, and you chose to be careless and you chose to give up, and you hurt him. 

And you remind yourself again: you were not dating Dazai Osamu. You remind yourself that you gave him chances, he had opportunities, and he chose not to take them. You remind yourself that he’s just as at fault as you are for the falling out, but you can’t help but also remind yourself that he was the one that came out the most hurt by the situation. Yes, him cutting himself off from you was upsetting, but you didn’t have to watch him go around happy in a relationship with someone else. He did. 

With that thought in mind, you push the door open to the bar. A soft bell rings above you and instantly, three heads swivel in your direction: the bartender, and two men that you recognize as Sakaguchi Ango, one of the Port Mafia’s special intelligence agents, and Oda Sakunosuke, who you only know through Dazai’s high praise of the man from when the two of you were still on speaking terms. The only person in the room who matters to you doesn’t even bother to look to see who entered the bar, one hand circling the glass of whiskey in front of him while a cigarette dangles from the other. You watch as he lifts it to his lips to take a long drag, head falling tilting back to look up at the ceiling as he exhales a cloud of smoke, seemingly unbothered by your presence.

Already, you feel as if you’ve made a mistake, but you force yourself to continue.

The bartender nods his head in respect to you, although you can’t help but notice he flashes a wary look to Dazai. You wonder, pitifully, how much he’s said about you in this place. Sakaguchi and Oda share a look with one another. Both of them speak a low murmur of your name, inclining their head dutifully—you’re not quite an executive yet, but with the Piano Man of the Flags dead, you and Chuuya are fighting for the next spot to open up. Chuuya will likely be the one to get it, which you think he deserves from all of the heavy lifting he’s done on operations the past two years, but you feel a bit awkward when they give you your due respect when you're here with your tail between your legs trying to talk to Dazai.

Sakaguchi and Oda take their leave when you arrive, giving short goodbyes to Dazai, telling them that they’ll see him another day, and the bartender makes a fumbled excuse about going to the back to restock, leaving you alone with Dazai. Internally, you wither just a bit because you think if they’d stayed, Dazai might keep a handle on himself because you know he views Oda highly; instead, they left you in the lion’s den alone. Which you might deserve, but you digress.

You let out a quiet puff of air as you make your way over to the bar stool next to Dazai, taking a seat in it carefully. Still, he doesn’t look at you, but you look at him and the aching in your chest returns tenfold as your gaze sweeps over him fully for the first time in months. During the joint meetings between the executives and sub-executives, you were always sure to keep your glances short and sweet, not wanting to risk any lingering looks, but now, you can look at him in his entirety for the first time since that fateful discussion three months ago. 

He hasn’t changed much. Or, well, that’s a lie. He’s definitely changed. The circles beneath his eye are darker, his expression a carefully constructed blank mask. You think he might’ve lost some weight, his coat has always been big on him but the way it hangs over his shoulders now is looser than it was before. If it weren’t for the way his fingers were tense around his glass of whiskey, you’d have thought he was entirely unperturbed by your arrival.

You don’t know what to say, and you know you need to be the first to speak because you’re the one that showed up here to talk to him, but now that you’re sitting in front of him you’re floundering for words. You could just come out and say that you broke up with your boyfriend, but you feel like that would be a bit weird, and he’d probably laugh in your face and make a comment about how he doesn’t care. You could ask him how he’s been, but you think he might genuinely put a bullet in you for trying to make small talk with him like that right now. 

The longer you stay silent, the more awkward it becomes, and you want to cry because you’ve never been awkward with Dazai before, and for a brief second, you wonder if things really have changed too much to go back to how they were. 

Finally, you decide to just come out and say, bracing yourself for the inevitable derisive words that are going to leave his lips. “I broke up with him.”

Dazai’s scoff is loud and instantaneous, you bite your tongue, eyes sliding shut as you turn to face ahead instead of looking at him. Cowardly, you know, but you don’t want to see the sneer on his face when he asks you why he should care. 

But he doesn’t say that. He doesn’t say anything at first. If you were looking at him, you’d see the way his cold expression shifted into a more conflicted one, still staring ahead because he can’t bring himself to look at you. You count each passing second, and it’s agonizing waiting for him to speak, a part of you thinks that maybe he won’t, and you’ll just have to leave the bar with your tail between your legs, humiliated. 

But then he does. 

“Why?” he finally asks coolly, and your eyes snap open and your gaze slides over to him when you realize he did not, in fact, hit you with the derogation you expected.

He still isn’t looking at you, and you watch as he lifts his free hand back to his lips, taking another long drag of his cigarette as he waits for your response. You swallow thickly when you try to figure out what to say next. 

What you want to say is ‘because he wasn’t you,’ but you’re not ready to bare yourself vulnerable in front of him like that when he’s still so unpredictable. Just because he didn’t immediately hit you with the harsh words you expected, doesn’t mean he isn’t going to lure you in just to slap you in the face with it, which is how you’re sure he perceived what you did three months ago. 

Rather, you say quietly: “He was boring, I guess.”

It’s a lie. Well, a partial lie, at least. He was a good guy, he was just boring compared to what you wanted, and what you wanted was Dazai Osamu, who no one in the world could hope to compare to. 

“He was boring,” Dazai echoes your words, a cruel and mocking lilt to his voice, and you brace yourself now, taking the sudden switch in tone as the flicking off of the safety. But he shakes his head as he lets out a puff of air, you can’t tell if it’s another scoff or a laugh. “How cold-hearted of you. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, given your track record.”

Two paths lay before you: you can take the words as well-deserved, trying to avoid the inevitable fight, or you can spit back equally venomous words, dive in headfirst so the two of you can get everything off of your chest. Both choices are double-edged. If you avoid the fight, it means avoiding the topic altogether, and even if the two of you choose to speak again, the resentment of what had happened will only poison and fester. If you dive into the fight, there’s a chance of saying words you can’t take back, and everything might fall apart anyway.

What do you want? You want to ask him, because you aren’t sure what the right decision is. Three months ago, if you and Dazai got into a disagreement about something, you would know in an instant whether or not he wanted to fight it out to let off steam or just pretend it didn’t happen. Now, you aren’t so sure. He’s still not looking at you, so you can’t use the look in his eye as a hint, but his shoulders are tense beneath his jacket, and his knuckles are white around his glass of whiskey. Your gaze drags up to his face, catching the way his jaw is tight, teeth probably grinding together, and you know. 

You look ahead again, leveling your vision on a particularly nice bottle of wine on the third shelf of the wine rack as you say: “I’d rather be cold-hearted than a coward.”

For the first time since you’ve arrived, Dazai’s gaze cuts in your direction, head snapping to the side. You turn your head toward him just enough for you to eye him from the corner of your eye, catching glimpse of the way his lip curled up into a snarl and the way flames now rage in the browns of his eye—a far cry from the bottomless void, but you prefer the anger to the emptiness. 

“A coward?” His voice is low, cold, dangerous. 

You’re treading on thin ice, but you choose to stoke the flame more, gaze sliding back to the wine racks ahead.

“A coward.”

The silence that hangs between the two of you is tense and damning, you have to force yourself not to react to it, keeping your expression as stony as his as you wait for his response. He’ll either hit you back with more venom or he’ll settle down, one will lead to a blow out fight and the other will lead to a very tense conversation. 

You don’t want to fight him, but if that’s what he wants, you’ll give it to him. 

After what feels like an eternity, Dazai makes another scornful noise but he doesn’t say anything, gaze snapping back ahead as he takes a drag of his cigarette, this one clearly fueled by anger, far more aggressive than the last one. As if to piss him off even more, he hardly gets half of a smoke, down to the nub already. Frustrated, he puts the lingering cinders out on the bartop before reaching for the pack in his pocket, pulling out a new cigarette and his lighter.

You watch as he tries to flick the lighter on, cigarette dangling between his lips, but the old thing refuses to cooperate. Distantly, you wonder why Dazai is so damn stubborn: working with an old lighter, living in a shitty shipping container, wearing the same few pairs of clothes every day when he probably has more money than god hoarded from his executive paycheck. But you only force yourself to not roll your eyes as you pull out your own lighter, flicking it on and holding it out to him without looking at him. 

You watch from the corner of your eye as he stares at your hand suspiciously before he exhales from the side of his mouth, dipping his head down to light the cigarette before he faces ahead again. He doesn’t say anything. Instead, he reaches out for his glass of whiskey, still mostly full, and then he slides it over to you.

An offering. A white flag. 

You barely withhold the breath of relief that nearly escapes you, accepting the drink and taking a long sip of it. It’s his favorite brand, smooth and familiar on the tongue; you haven’t been able to bring yourself to drink it since your falling out with him. 

“Was it really because he was boring?” Dazai finally asks. He’s not looking at you again, but you can see from the way his fingers are tense against the bartop that he’s probably waiting for a certain response from you.

You let your eyes slide shut. “No,” you admit.

“Then why?” he presses, as if he doesn’t already know. 

“You know why,” you say tightly, shaking your head and looking down.

“Tell me anyway,” Dazai responds quietly, you can feel his gaze on you but you can’t bring yourself to look at him. Irrationally, even though the atmosphere between the two of you has shifted, you wonder if this is it: he’s going to get you to admit it and then laugh in your face, cruel but probably deserved. 

“Because he wasn’t you,” you finally force out.

He doesn’t respond. Your heart sinks to your stomach, a sick feeling churning. You brace yourself again—you don’t know what for, maybe a laugh or a derisive comment, but he does nothing of the sort. 

A long exhale, smoke billowing around his face, a heavy look in his eyes. He doesn’t look at you as he says: “You’re right.”

You don’t respond because you’re not sure what he’s referring to. Finally, he tilts his head to look at you, a wry smile on his lips—your chest feels warm at the sight, you can’t remember the last time you’ve seen him smile. Probably not since the falling out. 

“I was a coward.”

Oh.

The frustration you felt all of those months ago returns with a vengeance. You had danced with possibilities back then: that you were reading too much into things, that he didn’t actually care for you the way you did for him, that he simply did not want to be with you even if he did care about you that way. Now, faced with confirmation that he had felt the same but was just too pussy to act on it, your chest swells with that familiar anger. You force it away. 

“Why?” you ask after a few moments of silence, nails digging into the palm of your hands as you rest them on your lap. “I… I waited for two years, Dazai. I gave you so many openings. You knew how I felt.”

“I know.” His voice is quiet, barely audible. 

“Then why?” you repeat his words back to him, pressing hard just like he did. His throat bobs beneath his bandages as he swallows, averting his gaze, or trying to, at least, because you don’t let him. You reach out to grab his chin tightly, forcing him to look at you, and the pads of your fingers burn against his skin, hyper aware of the fact that this is the first time you’ve touched him in three months. “Why?”

His hand comes up to grab your wrist as if to pull your hand off of him, but he doesn’t, grip firm around your wrist, fingers pressing against your pulse point, and you’re acutely conscious of the fact that your pulse is probably racing but you can’t bring yourself to care. 

“I told you why,” he says, voice uncharacteristically soft. Vulnerable in a way that you’ve never seen him before. “I was a coward. I… didn’t want to risk ruining our friendship... I don't have many friends. You know that. I would’ve rather just ignored how I felt and kept you as a friend, because I didn’t think there’d be a chance of losing you that way. I thought if I acted on how I felt, one day you’d eventually see me for what I am and I’d lose you altogether.”

“Some good that did you.” You can’t help the resentful words that spill from your lips, but you feel guilty when he winces, hand dropping back to your lap, his grip slipping from your wrist. “You think I don’t already see you for who you are? We’ve known each other since we were sixteen, Dazai. I know all of the sick and twisted thoughts that run through your head, I knew exactly what I was getting into.”

Dazai shakes his head, as if to deny your words. You get frustrated.

“I spend hours at your recovery bed after your attempts, I’ve caught you in the middle of them myself, do you know what the first thing I did was after I told you I had a boyfriend?” you demand, and he stares at you, unsure. “I put a protection detail on him because I thought you’d try to have him killed, or try to kill him yourself.”

Dazai winces. You shake your head and look away, settling down again. 

“For someone so smart, you really are so goddamn stupid sometimes,” you sigh, taking a long swig of his drink before placing the glass back down on the table. “I saw you for who you are, and I wanted you anyway.”

“Wanted?” Dazai asks, an uncertain expression on his face as he zeroes in on the past tense.

“Want,” you correct, voice little over a breath, and something akin to relief sweeps across his face as his gaze drops down to the bartop.

The silence that hangs between the two of you is more comfortable this time. Reassuring, even, because maybe things might still be awkward between the two of you for a while, but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, one much brighter than the one the two of you lived in three months ago. 

“I can’t believe you went for a civilian,” Dazai suddenly says, almost sounding indignant. “A civilian. You!”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” you snap when you hear the incredulous tone he takes when he says ‘you’.

“You’re a stone cold bitch,” Dazai accuses and you gape, but you can’t find it in yourself to be offended because his eyes are lit up for the first time in months, a lopsided smile painted on his face. “And you’ve got as much blood on your hands as I do. You. A civilian. I think I would’ve been less offended if you went for Chuuya.”

“We both know that’s a lie,” you snort, and then you add, a bit amused, “you know what he wants a job as?” 

“Tell me,” Dazai drawls, resting his chin on his hand as he leans on the bar, watching you with such a fond expression that it makes you feel warm all over. 

God, you missed him the past three months. 

“He wanted to go to law school. Become a public defender.”

Dazai chokes over the smoke he inhales, and you press your hand to your lips to smother your giggles as he desperately wheezes between laughs. You’re not sure if he’s actually choking, you think he might actually be dying from how red his face is getting.

“Maybe you should keep in contact with him then,” he gasps between laughs, “we might need one of those one day.”

“As if you’re sloppy enough to ever get caught,” you say dryly.

He winks at you, his grin sharpening, and you know you’re not going to like what he’s about to say. “Oh, I’m not. By ‘we’, I meant you.”

“Douchebag.” You roll your eyes, letting another silence settle over the two of you, a smile on your lips now as you take another sip of your drink. He’s the one to break it again.

“... Odasaku convinced me not to, by the way.”

“What?” 

“To kill him. I was going to. Odasaku convinced me not to.”

You let out a sigh of utter suffering, giving Dazai a pointed look—see, you say silently, I know you. He has the decency to look a bit sheepish as lifts his cigarette back to his mouth in lieu of responding to your unspoken words. 

“Stop with the self sabotage, Dazai,” you finally say, tired. “For both of our sakes’.”

He doesn’t respond, and you know him well enough to know that he’ll probably never stop with the self sabotage, but he does reach out to lace your fingers with his, and the warm feeling that spreads through your chest is enough to satiate you. 

Little steps, because no, the Mafia is not a conducive place for relationships and yes, it’s only a matter of time before luck runs out for one of you, but if your life is destined to be short, there’s only one person you want to spend it with.

[yarrayora]

see, like, sometimes i see bsd fans commenting about how it's weird for asagiri to make the tanizaki siblings incestuous or the whole lolicon gag with mori and elise but the thing is both of those things are based on the real life tanizaki junichiro and mori ougai's works

naomi is, of course, based on the novel naomi, a story about a man who groomed a young girl into a westernized woman and it ends up with her turning the table by dominating his life. which is why the junichiro in the manga is unable to say no to his sister. while the irl work is mostly a commentary about the cultural change in taisho period, the siblings in the manga focuses on the unhealthy relationship of the protagonist jouji and naomi. you might find it disgusting and that's okay. but the character dazai is also created based on the real dazai osamu's uncomfortable depiction of humanity's ugliness. it just doesn't make sense to allow one depiction but not the other.

elise is named after the love interest in the dancing girl, but the power that creates her is named after the real mori ougai's erotic novel that is secretly about his own sexual experiences. you can argue that there is no need for elise to be a child because the character in the dancing girl isn't one, and vita sexualis itself is more about the author-slash-protagonist's struggle with having sexual desires in a society that champions moral purity.

but the thing is elise isn't even a fanservice character. she isn't depicted as someone the audience should find desirable for one. when it comes to lolicon fanservice you can expect either excessive depiction of innocence or at the very least elise getting jealous when mori gives attention to someone else. but even her mocking is just that, mocking. we were never shown her returning mori's affection even in a tsundere way.

the biggest hint is actually the fact that in beast au, a timeline where mori gives up his position as the mafia boss, elise is an adult. it shows that the child form of elise is symbolic of mori's desire to control those with the power he wants to obtain i.e. dazai and yosano. it's so much easier to gain power over other when they're a child and you're the authority figure, after all. so when he no longer chases after that ambition, elise becomes an adult.

tldr; asagiri didn't necessarily make tanizaki siblings and elise for the sake of fanservice but it's definitely because he actually pays attention to the literature that inspires him

[ao3screenshotss]

(kouri is todoroki fuyumi)