#overdone as shit but i still enjoy it :)

[captainsplat]

had a crewmate named miku in salmon run yesterday and this wouldnt leave my head

[slippery-minghus]

oof. halo reach is... a struggle. especially after the masterpiece that is odst (*chef's kiss*). the controls are just... bad? really bad? messing with the sensitivity helped a bit, but response time and lag between actions is just horrible. moving feels like it's through room temperature butter. it takes 4-6 shots from a pistol to take out a grunt at any sort of mid to long distance. and you're playing as a fucking spartan, why do melee attacks feel like they do when i've got sleep paralysis???

[velvetures]

omg hey just here to shoot a request, idk if you do gaz as well but only soap is ok too. maybe something like soap x reader where the reader is a transfer from the american sector and she's just this super energetic, "AMERICA SCRAAAWWW" kind of person but is also super in learning about cultures and stuff. then the boys take her to this texas themed pub that she just criticizes the shit ton as she's from texas. i think it'll be funny to see a scot x texan lol thxx

God Bless Texas... and Scotland

A/N: I believe my goal here is to make something a little more on the joking/humorous side here... I'm not trying to get into politics or country pride on a deep level. This is just for fun. Nevertheless, thank you for requesting, I hope you enjoy the direction I went with this. This is sooo damn cheesy... Summary: On shore leave, you and Soap get into a conversation about what it was like in your home countries. A couple funny stereotypes and light-hearted argument later, the 141 decide that experiencing both sides of the coin are necessary to settle the score. T/W's: stereotypes ofc, cursing, friendly banter/teasing, and as always not proofread.

It all started when you came out of your private quarters into the shared living room with an old t-shirt on with the admittedly cliche statement 'God Bless Texas' printed boldly over the front inside of a state-boundary shape. Out of all of the members of the 141, you were undoubtedly the most... shall we say... patriotic. At least in terms of your state pride and your unwavering happiness of having family still living there who were so in support of you and your work. Having family in the first place was something different compared to the rest of the squad, and it made the whole pride of where you came from a lot more difficult to understand.

You'd spent years at this point being around the 141 and learning all kinds of very unique and traditional habits that they carried with them despite oftentimes not having a family to share them with. Most of those, they shared with each other, and after getting comfortable with you was extended as a way to bond with you outside of the missions and other job requirements that you did together. From Soap's requirement of the "First Footing" tradition on New Year's, Captian Price never missing a Soccer World Cup no matter where he is, and Gaz's refusal to have a Christmas dinner without Christmas pudding, there isn't a time when someone isn't explaining their desire to incorporate some country, cultural, or family tradition in one way or another.

So, naturally, Soap was ecstatic when he found out about some little niche place that had opened up an 'American, Texas-Themed' restaurant. He knew it would be totally overdone, as did everyone else, so they all thought it would be something of a light-hearted way to poke fun at your loyalties by taking you there as a "resident expert" that could point them in the right direction and away from everything else. Truly the idea of having at least on full hour of teaisng you with everything they could just sounded like a damn good way to spend an afternoon.

The place was a little hole-in-the-wall pub with a little bit of seating that wasn’t directly at the bar. Dim lighting made it feel pretty inviting, but the obvious country music choices including Texas natives: George Strait, Waylon Jennings, and Willie Nelson made it feel a little cheap. Especially with the taxidermy Longhorn head above the bar and the “cowboy” style of practically everything hanging on the walls. Although it wasn’t quite the most miserable place you’d even been, it certainly felt like a little more than just a healthy appreciation.

“Home away from home, right lass?” Soap’s devilish grin only made the wound sting your pride that much more.

"Ya know... actually, not one bit." You answer a bit awestruck and looking around the place with bated breath and the hope that it wouldn't get much worse than it already was.

To your irritation, it got worse. Much worse.

After getting seated by an -obviously- British woman forced to fake a deep and southern drawl, you were all handed menus that named off the most "popular" foods in the Southern United States that not only made you chuckle out loud with disbelief but actually voice the total inaccuracies of certain dishes that the men sitting around you actually thought were legitimate staple items.

"You actually eat rattlesnakes often?" Gaz thought it was a bit far off since he spent quite a bit of time in his service in South Carolina, but thought he'd clarify with you anyway.

"For Christ's sake, Garrick. No!" You roll your eyes, taking a drink of the iced sweet tea you were actually shocked to see was listed as a drink option.

That in itself was the largest contention point with Ghost who stared at you with an iron-clad will of hatred seeing you pleasantly drinking iced sweet tea like you were enjoying the abomination. To his horror, you were quick to compliment that they'd actually gotten it pretty close to how you made it yourself or people at home did.

"What is a pecan pie?" Captain Price was quick to question the dessert menu before a waitress had even come back around to take main course orders.

His question sounded somewhat confused and downright scandalized at the same time. And to be honest, you really didn't know how to explain that it was simply a pie with corn syrup and brown sugar-based sweet filling, covered with pecans that were baked in a regular pie shell. You attempted to describe the basic ingredients and how it was made to the table of interested men, only to have them all stare in guarded horror... Save for Gaz. He'd actually tried it while in the States and said he'd enjoyed it. Luckily he was on your side for that particular topic.

The men as a whole hilariously didn't order anything that you -or they- considered uniquely "Texan" or "American". Soap insisted that you pick a meal that sounded the most authentic to you and that they would try some of the food off of your plate. Of course, the idea sounded good to them, but you weren't sure you wanted to share a plate of food that could possibly be decently "American" when it would still be months before you could go back home.

You folded quickly and picked a meal that you believed would be safe enough to keep them from being outwardly horrified with you but would still be interesting to compare to the meals you grew up with at home. The most simple and safe option was what they called the 'Home Run Special', most certainly a knock-off of the American chain breakfast restaurant. It came with pancakes, fried eggs, bacon, biscuits, sausage gravy, grits, and hashbrowns.

When the platter came out, you were pleasantly surprised at the look of everything, seeing as it visually had promise and even smelled just about right as well. With one glance around the table, you saw every single man staring at the three-plate meal sitting in front of you and couldn't believe that all of that food was supposedly for one person. That comment alone did make you laugh. It was one thing that you weren't afraid to admit. You could eat a whole lot. And it was a family thing that you never could be shy to not own up to. Eating all of that breakfast to them might've seemed totally unacceptable, yet for you, it looked very accomplishable, given the food tasted good. They each wanted you to give your own personal opinions before they tried anything and watched you intently for any sign of your acceptance or lack thereof.

By the end of the meal, the men had all tried everything and had mixed opinions of what they thought was actually good or not. You believed the biscuits and gravy were totally garbage and vowed that you could make them better, and wouldn't even allow them to taste them for fear of cementing an even more concrete belief that biscuits weren't meant to be savory. They were half-and-half on the bacon, some saying it was really good while others complained it wasn't enough meat for so much grease. You... were quite pleased. Eggs were fine, they all didn't really pay them much mind, while the grits were such a contested topic that you weren't sure if they lost respect for you since you finished the entire serving.

"Although I've enjoyed the majority of the food and I was surprised with it... this isn't anything legitimate." You mutter with a full stomach, looking around the place and beginning to feel a little more homesick than you thought such a tacky pub could produce.

Soap, who was finishing off your pancakes nudged your shoulder a little and smiled. "You'll have to take me home with ya. Then I ken' really find out why ye' think Texas is so damn special."

"You have to take me home with you too Johnny," You take the fork out of his hand and eat one more bite of pancakes. "So I can see if God blessed Scotland, too."

Reblogs & Comments are Appreciated

[multifandoms27-blog]

It's time to d-d-dress up!

Halloween is probably my favorite holiday. I really like horror and being scared. You could say I'm a thrill seeker. Anyway, enjoy this filler while I work on other stuff lol

• ───────────────── •

Content: Various Yugioh people x gn!Reader

Warnings: Sexual themes (Yami Marik) but no actual sex so it's still SFW, unsure whether or not Yami Marik's fake blood is actual blood

Notes: Halloween is my favorite holiday. I wish I could do this for every fandom I write for, but that'd be too much for me right now, sadly. I'll probably do one or two more, but that's about it

• ───────────────── •

❥Yugi Muto

You and Yugi would obviously go with a couples costume.

He would be the dark magician, and you would either be dark magician girl or celtic guardian (they get shipped the most with dark magcian)

You two probably wouldn't trick or treat, probably just party with your friends while helping grandpa hand out candy

Would kiss you as much as you were comfortable with, because you just look so pretty/handsome to him

He's also grateful that you decided to match with him this year

Takes a shit ton of selfies to remember this moment and to post on his story/social media

Before Halloween, he probably would have spent all of October decorating the shop with you

Would absolutely want to make certain cut out cookies with you, he thinks the ghost ones are cute

Very wholesome Halloween. 100/10.

• ───────────────── •

❥Atem

You already know mans isn't original with Halloween costume ideas

He'd go as an Egyptian Pharaoh and would like it if you went as his queen/king, though he wont force you

He wont know what Halloween is about until you tell him, he's just a confused old man lol

He would love being in Pharaoh-like clothing again after so long. He'd proably try tanning the entirity of October, then be confused when there isn't much of a difference.

Help him, he's trying his best lol

Would also help you decorate if you asked, but he'd be asking questions non stop about the meaning of lights and window stickers. He doesn't take "tradition" or "it's fun" as an answer lol

A little annoying, but still wholesome. 8/10.

• ───────────────── •

❥Seto Kaiba

Seto isn't crazy about Halloween. It's six days after his birthday, that's the only way he remembers the holiday exists every year.

Because he's not crazy about the holiday, he hasn't dressed up for it since his parents were alive

Mokuba still dresses up, and he tries his hardest to get Seto to as well, but it just never happens. You're not an exception, unfortunately

Unless you get a blue eyes white dragon onesie.

He'll go as himself then, and you're his trusty dragon

Otherwise, he won't care about dressing up and will let you go as whatever, so long as its outside of the scandalous range. He's very much in the public eye, remember? He's also a raging virgin, so leave the risque costumes for private time

He'll probably especially enjoy it if you tell him it doubles as a birthday present

Either very funny or very boring. 5/10.

• ───────────────── •

❥Joey Wheeler

He'd probably be the cheesiest motherfucker out of them all

Would definitely have you two go as matching vampires or werewolves

He has such a generic look on horror and monsters in general

Dude you literally play duel monsters, there's more than just vampires and werewolves-

Would buy cheap fake blood that ends up staining your skin for a week after.

It would also strangely taste like apples?

You should probably go to a hospital after the party

Halloween with Joey is accidentally lethal. My kind of party. 10/10.

• ───────────────── •

❥Marik Ishtar

Dude I have no fucking idea what he'd be, and therefore neither would he lol

He has 0 creativity when it comes to this, so usually he'll turn to you for costume ideas

Would also be like Joey with the cheesy, overdone costumes

I can really only see him being werewolf and you being little red riding hood

He'd probably get a kick out of that, in multiple ways...

Marik doesn't understand Halloween decorations, but if it makes you happy, he guesses he'll help you put stuff up

Absolutely sneaks candy for himself though

Pretty average Halloween. 5/10.

• ───────────────── •

❥Yami Marik

Absolutely a vampire. No. Shh. Shut up. I am taking ZERO criticism on this one.

He takes it all the way. He's basically a blond, Egyptian dracula lol

He'll probably have you not dress up so he can be the vampire that corrupts you

He takes it a little too far, biting your neck with his fake fangs in

He also sprays fake blood on himself and everywhere else, but you're not entirely sure it's fake blood...

Like Marik, he also sneaks candy for himself, but very openly. He knows you can't do anything to him anyways

Yami Marik will help you put up decorations once he learns just how spooky Halloween is supposed to be

If you were hoping for a cuter Halloween, where children weren't afraid of approaching your house, then kick Yami Marik out until Halloween is over lol

Terrifying Halloween, but a great 'afterparty.' 7/10.

• ───────────────── •

Here is my Masterlist in case you want to request, or look for more of your favorite character!

[ronearoundblindly]

heh heheheheheheh 😏 A, Q, & Y for Ransom pretty pls 🫶🏻💕

*General/Canon Ransom and RoAR!Ransom have been requested, so I'll describe it like before he met his rich!reader and after. I would like to remind everyone that Ran is a *super-duper dickhead* who thinks very rudely and drops f-bombs left and right. This serves as your warning. Enjoy!

Prompts based on this dirty ask game. MINORS DNI.

A - Alone Time

BEFORE - On the off chance he can't find a booty call from the long list in his contacts, yeah, Ran will jerk off. He also has toys, several, and will watch a variety of porn because he barely pays attention to the actual content. Vague sex vibes only are required.

He is not gentle with himself. There is not foreplay. He concentrates more on his pleasure than imagining anyone else participating with him.

Ya know, kinda like how he has actual sex. He doesn't fucking care as long as he gets off.

AFTER - So it's no longer the rolodex of his contacts. Ran's found phone sex with you (due to you traveling soooo much). He'd probably attribute this to just being around you and seeing you more than any other sexual partner--he never had a girlfriend before you--but Ransom does picture your face and body when he gets off alone.

It's not a love thing. It's from all the exposure. He's fucked you more than any single person ever and sees you over video chat. It's not because you unlocked a real human connection for him.

He...does seem to come a lot harder when he imagines you with him and your voice taunting, praising him.

Fucking hell!!! If you ruin masturbation for him, he's gonna be so fucking mad, you fucking bitch.

Now where the hell is your perfume and his fleshlight?

Q - Quiet Please

BEFORE - His volume varies. He hates listening to overdone moans from whichever bimbo is on his dick. Boring. He doesn't really need them to enjoy himself. Save the casting couch shit for someone who cares.

AFTER - His volume varies, but overall, he makes a fuckton more noise than he did before. You especially like him loud when riding him. He hams it up a little then. He performs. Whatever. Sue him.

Many times now, it's been established that Ran really fucking enjoys your genuine vocalization during sex. His brain has filed them away from rainy days, or rather, international timezone days.

Y - Yes, Master

BEFORE - He's been called 'daddy' by several women, but he never told them to do that. He didn't correct them either. He does not participate in BDSM scenes because if he has to discuss the sex that much, he's already bored.

Ran would have said that calling him 'Hugh'--unless he's actually fucking the help--would instantly kill his boner, but apparently...

AFTER - You call him 'Hugh.' He's grown fond of it.

Something about you calling him 'Ran' or 'Ransom' sounds very cold and distant, it sounds like you're mad at him, and it sounds like you don't know each other now. He's either scared or deeply disturbed by you referring to his middle name when you two are all alone. (In public, for the most part, you introduce him as 'Ransom' so that other people don't try to call him 'Hugh.' He will fucking lose his shit if John Doe Fuckface calls for 'Hugh Drysdale' to donate money to something. Shove. It up. Your ass. Buddy.)

In the past, he's called women 'whore' and 'slut' and whatnot in the bedroom, mostly for their benefit. Ran is afraid to call you any of that because you're in the unique position of retaliating...and he cares. Like if you withhold sex? That's very bad for him.

He never had to think much about this.

He's slipped and called you 'bitch' in heated moments, which has seemed to amuse you more than anything else. That confuses Ransom.

Between 'Hugh' and 'bitch' while you two fuck, there's a pattern sometimes. You degrade him; he makes you come till you can't stand. He gets to walk away as a taunt. It's a great system for him.

Why does he like that? Why does he still think of that one fight in the woods between your house and Harlan's? Why can't he forget that one magnificent awful time you referred to yourself as 'momma' to deeply fuck with him? He won't bring it up because if you don't remember it happened, then he doesn't either. Never happened.

You have called him 'Daddy' a grand total of one time, and it was worth it, not for any sort of kink, just a nod to how much shit you two had been through up until that moment. It was a big deal. He'll remember that forever.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; Dirty Asks Masterlist; Ko-fi]

[cadybear420]

Cadybear's Reviews- Baby Bump

Welcome to the twenty-first official Cadybear's Reviews! Today I'll be talking about Baby Bump, which I have ranked on the "Gold Tier" at 8 stars out of a possible 10.

WHY DO PEOPLE HATE THIS SERIES!? WHY!? It’s FINE! 

Okay, I can maybe see why people may not like it because, let’s be real, accidental pregnancy is a very overdone trope. And apparently there were a lot of parts that were originally problematic when the story was released and had to be re-written, but I wasn’t around for that and I know next to nothing about the original lines, so I can’t say much about them. But even now, how does it get ranked as being among the worst so often? Even if you think it’s bad, it’s really not that bad. 

Like… I found it decent? I don’t think it’s nearly as bad as a lot of people have said it is. And I’m saying this as a GNC cis woman who experiences major genital dysphoria and absolutely REVILES the idea of becoming pregnant. Like, I would rather die than ever experience being pregnant. And yet I still quite enjoyed this story. 

I guess it kind of helps that the book is very clearly a pregnancy book from the beginning, so I kind of went in knowing what to expect and thus not self-inserting as the MC at all. Unlike something like TRH, which is a continuation that suddenly introduces a “MC gets pregnant” plot to a non-pregnancy series… but that’s a subject for a different day. 

I’ll be honest though, this story has a pretty awful start. In the flashback in B1 Ch1 where MC meets Mr. Covington, they try waaaayyyyy too hard to make the player swoon at the idea of having his babies. Like, did the guy they wanted to be MC’s baby daddy HAVE to be a celebrity company salesman, who is also the keynote speaker at MC’s graduation? 

And don’t even get me started on the Clint fangirls, who feel like they were written by someone who’s only ever been surrounded by the “Facebook Mom” stereotype and has never met (and probably never will meet) a real horny woman in their entire life. 

Literally, the scene is just all like “OMG LOOK!!! BIG FAMOUS CELEBRITY SALESMAN!!! OMG HE HAS *GASP* ABS!!! OH WOW, A MALE LI IN CHOICES WITH ABS AND BIG MUSCLES! THAT’S SO UNIQUE AND SPECIAL AND TOTALLY NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE!!! OMG ALL THE OTHER WOMEN ARE CHANTING OVER HIS ABS AND WANT TO HAVE HIS BABIES TOO!!! DON’T *YOU* WANT TO HAVE HIS BABIES TOO!?!?!?! AREN’T YOU SOOOOOO LUCKY THAT YOU’RE GOING TO BE HAVING HIS BABIES?!?!?!?!?!?!?”. Like, how much intelligence do you think your wlm audience has PB? Really trying to pander to the “Facebook Karen Mom” stereotype here, huh? 

With that in mind, I guess I can understand why people may have gotten a bad impression of the book at first, because the story for how MC got pregnant in the first place (and her conflict with Cassandra in Book 1) feels straight out of one of those weird Instagram and Facebook ads. 

But besides that, it was an okay series! I found it mostly cute and wholesome. Literally everything else was fine! There were even a few moments in Book 2 that made me cry, like when MC can record a sweet message for the babies with a plush bunny she can get from the Baby Baskets. 

Besides maybe Book 1 Dr. Mariana Castillo who is just way too unserious (at least she gets better in Book 2), I honestly really liked the main cast. Even though MC is technically an outsider to the town, she still gets to be very driven and gets shit done rather than being the typical doe-eyed newbie who needs to be shown the ropes. Clint is a sweetheart and does get to be more than just “har dee har muscular celebrity salesman who knocks you up aren’t you soooo lucky” that they wanted him to be in the first chapter. Mayor Dixon is a nice mix of goofy and tsundere, and the female version Myra contributed to my bi awakening. Luisa is just a queen all around. MC’s sister… initially she could sometimes be a bit of a stereotypical “OMG girly girl talk best friend to talk exclusively about LI and diamond outfits” but she does become more than that too, and I really like her subplot with Bao. Speaking of, Bao is just the most absolute precious ever (and shame on PB for making him the sister’s LI and not one for MC /jk). 

The antagonist characters were… kind of a mixed bag, I will admit. They were memorable, but also kind of stupid. Like I said before, Cassandra’s storyline in Book 1 just felt petty and cheap, plus I’m tired of straw loser villain female antagonists who exist solely to compete with the MC over the LI. It never got too overbearing, but it was still stupid. Book 2 Cassandra is great though. 

Then there’s Craig, who wants to destroy everything MC and friends accomplish and take over Gracetown because… potatoes. I guess he’s alright as he is actually a threat in Book 2, but the townspeople can be pretty damn meek to him which is a little weird. But he was still a strong antagonist in that book. Book 1 Craig feels a lot more like he just exists to be an annoyance for the sake of being an annoyance, though. 

Jebediah is a lot more compelling as an antagonist character, and I did expect the Covington family conflict to be incredibly boring but it turned out otherwise. He’s a jerk at first, but it’s nice to see how he does genuinely try to change throughout the storyline of Book 2. 

Also, props to this for being one of only three Choices series ever (the others being OG HSS and ILITW) where the collectible system has some items that aren’t diamond-walled. The baby blanket collectibles are really cute, and it’s really refreshing to have a collectible system that isn’t “the first one is free and then the rest you have to pay for”. Like HSS, there are even some pieces that are determinant on your success in certain events. Why can’t more series do their collectibles like this??? (Oh right, because it requires actual effort). 

Would I say it’s a good or accurate portrayal of pregnancy? IDK, I’m not an expert. But it’s fine if you just want a lighthearted pregnancy story to chill out to. 

[caraphernellie]

why are tlou tiktok fans so insufferable theyre always going off about our fics on here ans its like😭 these r fictional characters go write ur own fics im 💀💀 they can be whatever people want stop complaining that the specific fic you want doesnt exist. its fanfic. writers do this for free. the point of fanfic is “i want this thing to exist so i will make it exist” GO WRITE UR OWN FIC!!! ITS NOT EVEN THAT HARD!!! WRITING IS FUN!!!! im sick of the complaining SORRY BUT FUCK ME HONESTLY SHUT the fUCK UP

keep your mouth shut i have seen too many people (mostly on tiktok) actually name authors they dislike… like let’s not do this ffs

they always have the worst takes as well i am still consistently seeing horrible takes about the s2 casting and just abby’s character in general..

SORRY I WOULDNT NORMALLY RANT LIKE THIS BUT IM SO DONE WITH SEEING THIS SHIT EVERYWHERE LET THE PEOPLE WRITE WHAT THEY WANT TO WRITE AS LONG AS IT ISNT GENUINELY WEIRD WHO THE FUCK EVEN FUCJING CARES LEAVE IT ALONE OH MY GOD FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF

this is coming from someone who had quit fic writing for three years (2020-2023) because of pressures and criticism from other ppl . it is so actually annoying to see.

im probably also exhausted and thats why im doing this rant but oh my god im sick of it keep your goddamn mouth shut next time and make your own fic ‼️‼️ or at least support the authors who do write what you enjoy ‼️‼️‼️‼️

also tlou tiktok fans are annoying for recycling the same unfunny jokes constantly there i said it. the dina bird jokes aren’t funny and they never were. the joel in one joke was funny the first three times and now it’s overdone. SHUT UP. find new ways to be funny

however the editors are amazing and deserve kisses

[isthejermaclipcute]

if jerma doesnt like "jerma isnt real jokes" then how could you possibly see him being okay with being treated like an animal ?? imagine if someone you didnt know did this shit about you. imagine if you did this with any other person you dont know on the internet. that would be weird as hell

I’m going to really dig into this ask, so I’m putting my response under a read more. This is going to be a long discussion, but I think it’s an important one to have.

As far as I am aware, Jerma hasn’t taken a stance on “Jerma isn’t real” jokes. Please correct me on that if I am wrong. My rule about “Jerma isn’t real” jokes is entirely personal preference; I think they’re overdone and annoying.

I do completely and honestly see your point here. To an extent, the whole idea of “is the (content creator) video cute” blogs is a bit strange. It’s not lost on me that these posts, if made about the wrong person and saying the wrong things, could cause real harm. Personally, I wouldn’t be affected by a blog like this made about me, but that is because I enjoy being compared to an animal (which sounds totally fake, I know, but it’s true).

I would never make a blog like this around anyone else, because I don’t know other people’s preferences around these things. What I do know is that Jerma has interacted with similar jokes to these before with no negativity, such as the “plastic skin” chat message.

I’d also like to make it as clear as possible that when I talk about Jerma in my posts, I do not mean Jeremy, the real person who streams on twitch. I am talking about the fanon idea of the “Jerma985” character. In many ways, content creators play characters, whether they are inventing entirely new personalities for their videos, or just omitting details for the sake of their own privacy. We do not truly know these people. There must be a degree of separation between the Jerma that we watch in livestreams, and the Jerma outside of streams, who lives his life.

I do NOT make posts about Jeremy. I do not say Jeremy in my posts for this reason. This blog is about Jerma985. If you are still uncomfortable with this, you are more than welcome to block me. I don’t want to force my posts upon people who dislike them. I started this blog for fun, and I want it to stay fun for everyone.

I hope this response has been satisfactory. I tend to work myself up over asks like this, so if I have been unclear or you haven’t understood anything, I’m more than willing to clarify. Thank you anon, for reminding me to confront what I do and say, and deeply consider what is appropriate online.

[bearsinpotatosacks]

Something That Does Right by You - Chapter 1

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

Goose gets some bad news in the morning, and Bradley's in a rush to get somewhere.

Words: 2182

One thing he wasn’t going to miss about Navy life was the early mornings, he thought as he shuffled into the kitchen with his dressing gown on. He was an early bird but any time before six AM was too much for a man just turning sixty. God that was old. What happened to the days of his youth when anything was possible? When bad shit could happen and it was just any other tuesday? Now if his dinner was cold it could send him spiralling sometimes.

There was a drifting waft of something sizzling as he walked toward the kitchen. Early morning radio hummed in the background as the toaster popped and a quiet ‘shit!’ was called with rage seething around the sides. He could make it known to Ron that he was awake so he could swear and shout to his heart’s content, like he did all the time when he was awake, but that would ruin the fun. 

After a quick glance through the sliding patio doors, he knew the dogs were out of the way. They were just too damn happy sometimes, always barked and jumped whenever he or Ron got home, you’d think they were still puppies honestly. Bert and Ernie were not puppies, however, they were two brother German Shepards. Bert was tan with a black saddle and Ernie a dazzling sable. Their trace hairs were scattered all over the sofas despite how much their cleaner spent vacuuming the cushions.

He turned back to Ron and realised that, for a RIO, he didn’t have good instincts sometimes. Of course that was partially because he was half deaf. But there was a sixth sense the Navy trained into you in flight school that was hard to shake. Apparently not as hard as he thought.

Snaking his hands around his middle, Ron jumped a mile in the air, almost smacking him on the head with his spatula as he grumbled under his breath.

“What did you do that for?” He shouted at far too loud a volume for how close he was to him.

“No need to shout,” he said. 

“What?!”

“No need to sho-” he huffed and gestured toward his ears. “Turn your hearing aids on!”

“I haven’t got my hearing aid on!”

Goose shook his head, rubbing his forehead with his hand. “You fucking dumbass.”

Ron flicked the switch on his hearing aid on. “What did you say? I didn’t have my hearing aid on.”

“I was telling you to switch it on,”

“Well that’s no use now, I’ve got it on.”

“I know that!” Goose said. “What’s for breakfast, anyway?”

He took a sniff of the bacon and saw two fried eggs popping next to it in the pan. Toast was sitting up in the toaster. Two cups of coffee on the side beside two plates. A perfect breakfast for a long day of testing. Over the past few years, he’d really started to enjoy Ron’s early retirement, purely because he’d started to get into cooking, so he could now do more than just burnt toast and overdone eggs.

“Food, that’s what, now sit down sweetcheeks. You’ve got a busy day ahead of you.” He said, dripping with sarcasm.

“Aw, said like a true househusband.”

Goose sat down at the table while Ron flipped him off. After placing it all on the plate, garnishing with salt, pepper and a few sprigs of herbs, he quickly let the dogs in, from where they were waiting in the conservatory, and sat down to eat. For a moment they were quiet, the dogs, well trained, sitting at their feet.

“So, what’s on the agenda today, Admiral?” Ron asked.

“You know that’s classified.”

“Hasn’t stopped you before.” He asked. “Plus, I was a Captain once, you know.”

“Not anymore, old timer.”

Ron stuck his tongue out, Goose chuckled and took a long sip of his coffee.

“Fine, we’re going for Mach 9.”

“Jesus, how fast is that again?”

He thought for a moment. They were making so many improvements, with plenty of failures along the way, and sure they’d been happening slowly, almost too slowly for some, but the fact that he was even partially in charge of a project this important was filling him with confidence.

“About 6000 miles per hour.”

“Fuck,” was all he said. “Whatever I’ve said about Mav in the past, you can’t say he isn’t brave for flying that thing.”

Goose said around a mouthful of bacon and egg. “I’m telling him that.”

“You can tell him this too, that I can’t tell whether it’s brave or stupid to offer to fly a machine that could kill you if anything went wrong.”

“Ain’t that the problems with any jet,” he said. “Couldn’t the F-14 go like 1500 miles an hour?”

“Touche, touche.”

After finishing their food, Goose sat back in his chair and cradled his coffee. Bert rested his head on his lap. He’d mastered the look to get cuddles, and Nick hadn’t built immunity yet, so instinctively began to stroke his head.

“Anyway, enough about classified information I shouldn’t be telling you. What are you doing today?”

Ron, who was doing the same to Ernie, who’d partially flopped onto his lap now, just smirked at him. “Well, while you’re stressing about deadlines and early wake ups, I’ll be doing as little as possible.” He said. “I’m gonna make another cup of coffee, read the news, play some tennis and come home for a nap.”

Goose hummed. That was what he was looking forward to. After this project was over, he was going to retire. He’d put a lot of hard work in over the years, and after being told he was at risk for a stroke, being put on blood thinners just to prevent that, and having enough of the bratty internal politics of naval bureaucracy, he’d really been getting jealous of Ron’s easy life.

They had his two pensions, one from the navy, one from American Airlines, and Nick’s wages, they were set up for a healthy retirement. Sure, he’d been forcibly retired due to his gradual hearing loss due to too many metal concerts and the general volume of jets over the years, but now he’d settled into it, it had really begun to suit him.

“That sounds like heaven,” he said.

“Well, think of it this way, sweetcheeks, the quicker that darkstar of yours is approved, the quicker you can tell them to kiss your ass and walk out the door.”

“I won’t be telling them to do that.”

“But you could.”

“I wouldn’t though-”

This carried on for a few minutes until Nick’s phone lit up in his pocket. The number didn’t fill him with confidence. Ron looked up from where he was fully focused on stroking Ernie’s head, raising his eyebrows. His face must have fell with how Ron looked at him. He placed his phone back in his pocket with a frown.

“What was that about?” He asked.

Goose got up, the chair screeching across the tiled floor. Bert went back a few paces as he made his way to the door. A sudden urgency flooded through him.

“Hello? Earth to Goose?”

Ron followed him through to the hall. Despite not knowing what had changed, he still passed him his coat as he slid on his shoes and grabbed his briefcase. The dogs followed too, wearing the same forlorn expression that they always wore when he went to work.

“They pulled the Darkstar project.”

“What? But you’ve worked on that for almost a decade!”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,”

Ron stepped back for a second. “Where are you going then?”

“Gotta call Mav, gotta convince them not to scrap it.”

He opened the door and pressed the button for the garage to open. Feeling around for his car keys, he began to rush out of the door, only for Ron to turn him around with them jingling on his finger.

“You’re not retiring?” He was wearing the same expression as the dogs were. “We said that after the Darkstar project-”

He reached for the keys but Ron pulled his hand back. “But not like this, I want to do it feeling completed, end on a high, not another example of how people like us are being replaced on every front by my bosses.”

Ron gave in and lent forward to give him a kiss. He wished him good luck, stroked his moustache as he let him go and closed the door behind him.

~~~~

An announcement beeped over the speaker system. ‘This is the last call for Gate 2 for the 0900 Flight to San Diego International Airport.’. It repeated again in Spanish as people began to move toward Gate 2. 

“Oh, is that yours?” His mum asked over the phone.

Her face was slightly pixelated on the screen but he could still see how her face dropped. It had been a while since he’d seen her, six months of deployment in the middle of the ocean had taken its toll and the idea that he was getting leave for a good few months had been one of the few things that had stopped her from constantly worrying. Until this special mission came up that is.

He’d been excited when he’d heard. Feeling special when it came to the Navy was something that they didn’t really encourage, they needed everyone to work as a team, and some people being special could encourage rivalries, meaning more people could get hurt. Not that this attempt at unity actually worked, there was plenty of low level bullying and intimidation behind closed doors. Hangman flashed into his mind, not that that was an entirely Navy related affair. 

“Yeah, I’ve been holding off but I think I actually need to go now,”

“Yeah, can’t have you missing your flight,”

“I usually leave it until late anyway, I mean, we’re all getting on the same flight, so what’s the point of being early, right?”

She laughed and nodded. He saw her wipe her eyes and sniff, trying to put on a brave face that he could always see through. His mum had no filter, whether it was insults or her emotions, she couldn’t hold anything back even if she wanted to. Which made her battle with cancer even worse because despite her best efforts, she couldn’t hide the side effects of the chemo as much as she would’ve liked. Bradley still felt uneasy around hospitals and when throwing up. 

“Have a good flight, honey, okay?” She said. “Call me when you land.”

“You know I will,”

Her face dropped again. They’d both been looking forward to seeing each other for the first time in a year, he’d been out here in Virginia, whether on deployment or not, for so long.

“I love you,” She blew a kiss toward the screen.

“Love you too, and Charlie, send her my love.”

She smiled again. Charlie was already working, even at eight o’clock in the morning, or seven in Texas. There was a reason she was the top professor in her department. That’s where they’d met, Charlie was a new professor for physics and political science, his mum was finally doing that masters she’d wanted to do for years, but never had the time because of being a single mother. Not that she’d made him feel like that, she made it known that he was the best thing in her life and she wouldn’t change anything, that didn’t mean that she didn’t have goals outside of being a mother.

He’d never called Charlie ‘mom’, despite her being in his life for over ten years now. Perhaps it was because he’d moved out when they’d met, he was trying to be an adult, and feeling like he was failing in some parts, so hadn’t had to adapt as quickly as he would’ve done if he was still at home. He’d made sure that she looked after his mum though.

“Will do, she’s probably nose deep in papers by now.”

‘Will any passengers for the 0900 flight to San Diego please go to Gate 2 as boarding will soon be closing.’

“Okay, I really have to go now, bye.”

She waved as he ended the call, her pixelated image on the screen as he switched his phone into aeroplane mode and rushed off to his gate. 

Despite her worry, he was excited for this mission, whatever it may hold. He started to run, seeing other people either in the queue to Gate 2 or sat around for other flights. With his passport and ticket in hand, he managed to get to the front desk just in time. Luckily, the Navy kept him fit as he would be exhausted from that last sprint.

"Have a good flight," said the flight attendant.

"I will." He replied, walking onto the plane.

He stared out the window after he took his seat. It had been a while since he’d been to Top Gun, new faces and old flashing in his mind. He couldn’t help but wonder what it was all about.

So many more people were interested in this idea than I thought would be. It's really motivated me with this but I will say that I'm currently prewriting for whumptober and there's some big fics there, so if updates get sparse then that's why. It's a little hard to write multiple fics per day, work 9 hours and look after yourself so got to make sure I'm taking care of myself.

Anyway, Goose and Slider are married, and either early 60s or late 50s. They have 2 dogs and are really fucking rich. Have you seen the salary for an admiral?! Also Mav's salary is massive to so I have no idea how his card is declined in TGM, unless he has to money skills and is in debt or just impulse bought his P-51 mustang.

Taglist: @pollyna @shadeds-library

Tell me if you want to be added!

[catgirl-catboy]

Hey! I watched the new total drama season you send I enjoyed the new season I must say

Did you enjoyed it? What is your opinions?

I really did enjoy it, but I also think it had the same flaws as the rest of the total drama series, as expected. (the danganronpa ask is sitting half completed because I got a case of the TD brainworms!)

Namely, that except for gen 2, every generation has a character whose personality is 80% fart jokes. Now, I love me a fart joke as much as any self-respecting 12 y/o boy, so its not that I don't find them funny. But I also think that a character shouldn't just be gross-out humor, and should have some other qualities to them. How does Ripper's bullying affect the goal of the game. Why is he on total drama if his main ambition in life is something else? He clearly feels insecure, but so does his designated victim. Explore that!

One take I saw floating around is that Emma and Chase's relationship is repetitive and annoying. That was the point! You aren't meant to ship them, and Bowie's thoughts on them are meant to mirror the audiences! That being said, I hope they change up the dynamic in season 2 because doing it for another season would get stale.

This is more of a personal preference than a complaint with the writing, but I found Raj's arc in this boring. "realizing you are gay because of a crush and then kissing him" is really overdone, and it felt like the main players in the Rajbow ship were Bowie and WAYNE. This isn't a bad thing, but I hope he becomes a more distinct character in season 2. Maybe Bowie can teach him game strategy and he betrays Wayne to stay in the game longer tee hee hee.

I also don't really agree with the take that Bowie is bad rep because he's a very stereotypical gay man. A lot of total drama characters are based off stereotypes, like Lindsey being the Dumb Blonde and Heather being the Mean Girl. They evolve beyond those tropes throughout the reason of the show, and we actually see that with Bowie in just the one season he was in so far! After Raj got eliminated, he did a whole bunch of plot relevant shit that didn't involve him and was a compelling character outside of his romance plot. I call that a sign of good writing, but this is total drama so who knows if it will last.

And I don't think that TD is saying all gay man are stereotypical, because we have Raj, who is very much not that. He's a dumb jock that happens to be gay, and falls into the jock stereotype more than any gay one. I really respect that writing choice.

Pryia is one of my favorite TD characters, but season 1 Court still takes the number one spot. (even if she is hanging on Hall Monitor coattails!) I adore her! She totally deserved the win.

They made Axel too much like Eva and it felt like a really missed opportunity. We already have Eva and Jo, can we have a more GNC gal character that isn't totally aggressive? I'd like that. Hopefully, she becomes more of a player in the second series?

I also wish they gave Julia a different strategy than Heather. If a character needs constant immunity to stay in the game, then maybe they deserve to leave the game at that stage. Its overdone. I also feel like Julia showed skills in turning people against each other, which could have easily been her M.O. That being said, my favorite Villain Elimination by a longshot.

I really liked the energy brought to the jokes about Zee's leg. It doesn't come up often since my hearing aid isn't too visible, but if I have the opportunity to joke about my disability, I will take it! He's probably one of my favorite disabled rep besides Toph, and I'm glad that he wasn't looked down upon by his team during challenges. He didn't struggle with any challenges, and his leg actually helped at one point!

(one time, a teacher asked in frustration if anyone was deaf in here. Saying "Yes :)" was my crowning achievement and one of the best jokes I ever made. Its not relevant, but c'mon.)

I wish he had more of a character outside of comic relief, but still!!!

[melodyofthevoid]

Spotify Discovery 10/2

Lot of ukulele tracks in this one, and it’s a mixed bag. I cannot explain for the life of me what makes a ukelele song sound not bad to me but when I crack that code you’ll know.

Generally good though! The bad tracks though I hated more than last time. Also sorry for the delay I had work and a litany of other things (other writing projects) that distracted me lmao.

Good:

Playing on Train Tracks: Very Mountain Goats in its execution, note that it does cover self-destructive behaviors so be wary but the honesty here is captured so well. I love the use of language and metaphor, cutting live wires, standing on the cliff but never jumping, standing on the train tracks, it hits. The simple instrumentals isn’t overly “stripped down” it fits the subject. Good stuff.

What We Have is You: A song from Kipo, a nice little lullaby. Don’t remember what the context of this bit was in the show but I really liked it. Sterling K Brown has a nice voice.

The Dragon of Climate Change: Not one I’ll listen to frequently but I did enjoy the jaunty folk feel combined with the “fuck the rich” vibes. Calling out carbon credits was a good bit. Very bard core.

Lover (take me to the moon): Gives me confused person in love and I think it works. I wish I could really say what makes these sorts of songs click with me vs brush them off as kinda overdone but I’m afraid it’s a mystery to me as well.

Ghost Choir Vocals: Gives the iconic Ghost Choir lyrics in the style of “Mr.Sandman” and the singer is absolutely lovely. Fun and short, always a treat to hear the ghost choir in general and Louie’s instrumentals lend to the singer’s voice.

Davy Jones: I’ve listened to this cover a shit ton on Youtube and still love the vocals. The Davy Jones/Calypso storyline is a fav and there’s just. Mwah. Chef’s kiss vibes. Not much to say here other than absolute banger. (For an improved experience look up the duet version).

Suffering: A dance to agony, it works in a way of celebrating despite it all. The singer is lovely, the guitar is jaunty, and the rhythm is fast and fun. I like it! Gives me Crane Wives vibes and that’s always a plus for me.

Medusa in a Stone Garden: There’s an interesting energy around this one kinda folk rock? I like the Medusa energy, the repetition can wear on at times but other than that? Excellent.

The Water is Fine: Gives me Mariza/Delta vibes, there’s nice overlap on the vocals, there’s energy here too that is fun. A bit Oh Hellos, a bit Amazing Devil.

Anywhere But Here: A lovely little music box style waltz, very romantic. Melancholic too, and just the sort of thing I like to wind down to.

Duet in Death: Another classical piece, I’m sure if I knew more about the webtoon Nevermore I’d have more of an affinity? But a duet between a piano and a violin is one I’m always a sucker for. I adore violins when they’re done well and this one is spectacular.

Devil’s Flesh & Bones: Another WTNV alumni! Eliza Rickman is neat, she’s got a very distinct voice, kinda Cabaret and kinda jazz. This one all works for me.

Neutral:

Rises the moon: The vocal performance of this cover is… a little shaky at times? But I like the song and I think that it’s alright.

Tough to be a Bug: A twee little ukulele ditty, it’s cute but not really one that I’ll listen to. A bit too soft for me ig.

Bird Song: Not the Florence and the Machine song, but a different one. I enjoyed the folk vibes but the chorus has this kinda tropical electronica and that’s just not my vibe? The song has a general montage feel which works for what it is but a meh experience overall.

A Shitty Gay Song About You: The guitar plus the twinkly xylophone and the monotone vocals aren’t… really my vibe. The lyrics are kinda neat, but it’s not for me. I could see someone making a cute animatic to it though.

I think I want to be alone: Relatable but the style is a little too TikTok for me with the playful vibes combined with the depressing lyrics? Doesn’t scratch an itch for me.

Nah

Katarina Josephina: I’m not really sure what to make of this one. It’s got the trappings of a folk story song but it’s got a strange energy to it. Not certain what to say doesn’t work for me, but the trap break definitely does not.

The Spider’s Face: I like the song Nothing from this musical but goddamn this one is too “playful sing song evil” for me. The plucking strings and the vocals… it does not do it for me. Very unpleasant to listen to.

Aisling Song: I do not enjoy listening to children sing. This is a child singing in a very ~dreamlike~ way. I’m sure this works in the movie “Secret of Kells” but without the visuals I would really rather not listen.

PATROCLUS MEETS HIS FATE: I love orchestral stuff, I love video game music, but the artificial strings really take away any of the grandiosity for me. It’s very canned and I’m not a fan.

Typical Me: DSMP song and not a good one. I don’t like the vocals or the lyrics. Very monotone and unpleasant.

Give a Little: The saxophone and vintage swing feel are neat but I reaaaaally don’t like the vocals. They ruin it for me. Sorry CG5 but really not doing it for me.

64 Little White Things: This is Scary Jokes with the vocal style and again. Not a fan of that. There’s something about the vocals that just sets my teeth on edge, the sing/talking style with the modulation and the carnival music… no. Can’t do it.

[cheezbites]

Ranking Tropes

This is for my (uninspired) writers or (inexperienced) readers out there😋. I will be updating this often so next time you check this post new tropes may be added !!<3

Enemies to Lovers

8.5/10

I would've gave this a higher ranking if the protagonists were enemies for longer… most of the time, it's like there enemies for a day or two and then the next chapter they're alread head over heals for each other. And when they are enemies it's like where's the enemy-ing?! Where are the fights and arguments - like tell me why I should hate this person, ya know? (Hate sex is a W)

Friends to Lovers

7/10

I mean it's a pretty solid trope but most of the time it gets boring and repetitive, I can't really comment on this one to be honest. And sometimes it's corny but on the other hand it's so wholesome and has me kicking my feet and shit.😭💞😤

Mafia

6/10

If I could get one dollar for each time someone has done the mafia trope I'd be a billionaire, no joke. I mean yeah, it's overrated. But things are ‘overrated’ because they're good (sometimes) but this is another level of overrated. IT STILL IS GOOD, THIS ISNT ME SHITTING ON PEOPLE WHO LIKE THE MAFIA TROPE, sometimes I do quite enjoy it.

Love Triangle

9.7/10

Yes. Next question. (I don’t know what else to add to this LOL. But I do find myself favouring one S/O over the other when reading these 💀).

Love Square

8/10

Ooh we in geometry now💁🏽‍♀️. But in all seriousness, sometimes it do be getting confusing and I think you’re better off just doing a triangle. (If y’all don’t know what this is it’s basically three S/Os, sometimes there’s drama and conflict the or it’s an open relationship)

Teacher

9.9/10

I’m incapable of ranking things ten because there’s no such thing as perfection, but the teacher trope just might be the epitome of it😍. These are so fun to be read or maybe it’s just my daddy issues … but we move!

Dom Female + Sub Male

9.999/10

Um, yes. These ones really stand out to me because they're just different from the rest, when was the last time y'all ever read a dom female and sub male trope before? Exactly. We need more of these for real!

Stalker

8.9/10

I literally do not have any boundaries whatsoever so I love reading these so much. And it makes me feel like i’m being watched IRL after reading 😔☠️

Knight

9/10

The knight trope should honestly be done more, especially with me being a history girly. I like reading these in plummy British accents to enhance the plot 😏

Academic Rivals

9.7/10

Okay I haven’t really read much of these BUT it’s giving the same energy as enemies to lovers so that’s why I think it’s getting such a high rankinggg ! You can never go wrong with a good academic rivals. Period, (but I don’t think you can make the whole story revolve around this trope there needs to be other elements).

Younger x Older

8.5/10

This is also a pretty solid concept but it gets sort of hard to make these interesting plot wise. Also, I mean younger x older in a legal way !! 😓

Dad’s Bestfriend

9.5/10

I’ve read one before and it was good so that does the rating justice, older men just😋

(Apartment) Neighbours

7/10

This one’s USUALLY overdone when writers are feeling a tad bit lazy. And honestly, been there done that. This is still a cute trope and there are so many ideas that come along with it!

Gangster x Civilian

8/10

This one gets a solid eight because sometimes they're so interesting on the other hand they're eh. They need to be executed properly in order to be good, like how does the civilian react to the constant crime life and the death and the bloodshed and whatever, ya know?!

Forced Proximity

8.55/10

You can’t go wrong with this, but what you can do with the plot gets as limited as the space between the characters (no pun intended) the writers always serve as always when doing these so it gets a solid eight point fifty five .

Forced Marriage

6/10

Me personally, I don’t believe in marriage nor see myself getting married in the future but they’re usually interesting plot wise unlike the trope. I just find it pretty boring.

Rich and Poor

7.5/10

I mean I love the feeling of being spoiled, don’t get me wrong on that. But this trope also needs more elements added to it so it’s not boring, you can’t just have the whole story about the S/O providing for the damsel in distress :( unless you want to then more power to you

Forbidden Love

8.7/10

This just enhances the love for me, I don’t know what it is about this trope that I like so much but oh wellllll

Fake Relationship

4/10

I’m so sorry 😞 the plot is always so so so predictable. It’s like I’m five steps ahead and I’ve already read it. This is so hypocritical in retrospect as I might write a little something with this trope

Share your opinions in the comments or recommend other tropes for me to rank! 💗🌸

Masterlist

[novafire-is-thinking]

TFP soundwave can still be dad coded, he’s just a bitter angry dad who is a former gladiator who has seen and experienced a lot of shit and who has lost nearly all his children due to the war (potentially Laserbeak as well, depending on how “sentient” you still view laserbeak)

So the dad who has nothing left to lose and will slice you open and enjoy it

Ah, yes. I didn’t mean to say he couldn’t be dad coded.

I just don’t like that fanon interpretation of him.

I’m very picky about which characters I give the parent treatment. I think it’s overdone—not just in Transformers, but in most fandoms.

[ikemenomegas]

Aawww myy oc hanging out with tsumiki and trying to make her let out her pent up negative feelings. But also consider, satoru going "why r u talking her to a rage room, u should take her to that disney princess meet and greet shit" and myy oc goes "nah she likes rage rooms" and bby tsumiki agrees with that statement and also mentions liking a shooting range in the most kiddy voice. AND gojo and myy oc got married at 24? How did that go 👀👀

This was so cute I caved and wrote a snippet for it. I hc that gojo has a love-hate relationship with the mouse and his movies haha, so that jumped out here too. Hope you enjoy! (I answer your question after the snippet btw!)

Tsumiki ducked into a fairly passable somersault and came up pulling the trigger on her little finger-guns.

“Pew, pew” she said under her breath.

And then she caught sight of Satoru, bags of groceries in his hands.

“Um…. aaAAH,” Tsumiki froze.

“What are you doing?” Satoru asked curiously, stepping into the apartment.

Tsumiki wrung her hands, seemingly unsure which direction to hide. She’d already been spotted after all.

“Ah… playing… spies,” she finally muttered, the words half stuttered.

Satoru snickered, ignoring the way Tsumiki seemed to droop a bit. He set the bags down on the counter as she trailed slowly after him.

He raised an eyebrow at her as she slumped into the kitchen at his heels, looking at her over the rim of his glasses. “I thought you were playing spies?”

She looked worriedly up at him.

Satoru rolled his eyes and lifted up his fingers. “Are you just going to let the enemy spy catch you?” He sounded affronted by the very idea.

Tsumiki’s eyes lit up and she stood, her arms outstretched, balanced on the tip of her toes. She pointed her finger pistol at Satoru. “Bang!” she declared.

Satoru stumbled, faking a groan as her feet skidded on the floor. “Sneak attack! Unlawful!” 

Tsumiki giggled as Satoru staggered after her.

Later that night, Satoru dramatically nursed a bump on his head. Apparently, like the giraffe he was, he’d run into some open cabinets while he and Tsumiki had been chasing one another around the apartment.

Megumi dumps an ice pack on his lap, disgruntled and looking only slightly modified by Satoru’s overdone yelp at the cold.

Tsumiki was still smiling, though a bit sheepishly. “Sorry, Satoru-san.”

Satoru sighed, pressing the ice to his head and pouting mightily. “I can’t believe the first person to defeat me in one on one combat in over a decade is you, shrimp.”

“Technically it was the dish cupboard,” she said, apologetically, but the excitement was still shining in her eyes.

It gave you an idea.

Tsumiki came back from your outing with what a normal person, or her actual mother, might have considered a disturbing glow and an almost sage satisfaction, given that she had just spent about half an hour with you cracking plates and smashing bottles and trying to bend spoons and forks with a sledgehammer.

To be fair, you had also taken her to a music store and you heard as she merrily went into the living room. There was the familiar scrape of her pulling her step stool out of its little cubby and then the click and shift of a record being placed on the turntable.

Satoru walked in from the back room, a sticky mess of a pineapple popsicle in his mouth.

“Hey, where’d you go?”

You put your sword case on the shelf recessed by the entryway.

“Took her a rage room,” you said, going into the kitchen and opening the fridge.

Satoru snorted. “Why are you taking her to a rage room? Shouldn’t you take her to some disney princess meet and greet or somethin’”

You pulled out a bottle of juice and raised an eyebrow at him. “You don’t even like disney princesses.”

“That’s not true,” he protested. “That movie with the vampire girl and the apple was pretty good.”

It took you a while to figure out what he was talking about. “That’s… not even a disney movie,” you said, somewhat appalled. 

He just smirked. You rolled your eyes.

“Anyways, it was fun,” you said, sitting up on the countertop. “She had fun I think.”

“I- I did,” a voice came from behind you. You twisted around to see Tsumiki, smiling, but… less wide than she often did. It seemed somehow more real. “Thanks.”

“Any time,” you said, offering her a smile in return. “There’s peaches in the fridge whenever you want.”

She nodded and wandered into the room, rummaging in the refrigerator and then grabbing a knife from the drawer by your leg to cut it up.

You tapped her shoulder. She looked up at you. “You’ve still got some paint,” you pointed to the top of her head.

She put her hand where you were pointing as though she could feel the little flecks stuck to her hair.

“Were you painting?” Satoru asked.

Tsumiki shook her head while she pulled your phone out of your pocket and tried to use the camera to see better. She held still while you snapped a picture and showed her the purple spots of paint.

“Paintball,” she said, grabbing a towel and wetting it. She handed it to you so you could try and get the color out. "That was really fun too," Tsumiki smiled up at you.

“You’d look cute with purple streaks, Tsumiki-chan,” you said as you dabbed at the spots, oblivious to Satoru’s incredulous look.

She pulled a face. “Dyeing your hair makes it fall out.”

You snorted. “Who told you that?”

“My mom.”

It was getting easier for her to talk about the parent that had walked out on her more than a year ago, but you’d started noticing it was even easier after taking her to break things. Or shoot them.

Which made at least as much sense as the persistently cheerful attitude Megumi reported and you had observed.

“They make dye that’s safe for kids.” You recalled your own parents helping you color your hair straight black for Halloween once.

“Nah,” Tsumiki shrugged.

You laughed quietly at her, but it was as much a delight to see her refuse you instead of trying to appease you by following along.

When her hair was clean and she had walked back towards her music, Satoru turned to you, empty stick in hand. “Paintball?” he asked with a raised brow.

You lifted one shoulder. “What we were up to at her age was objectively worse. It’s really a shame we aren’t teaching her martial arts because it would probably be good for her.”

Satoru leaned beside you on the counter and spoke quietly. “Megumi doesn’t want her anywhere near this shit and I don’t want her asking questions. The old fucks were already bad enough about keeping the kids together.”

You leaned on his shoulder with a sigh. “Oh well.” You took another sip of juice. “There’s something very freeing about unregimented violence anyway.”

Satoru snorted and rolled his eyes, blue flashing over the top of his sunglasses.

As for how getting married at 24 was lol, it didn’t change much except Satoru invited himself over way more often. His family actually was making noise about a wedding, but he could have blown them off again. He just figured he could maybe stop living in sin since they were offering him the option anyway XD. There’s a couple of the older members of the clan who definitely see the myy.oc as someone who sort of… violated or dishonored Satoru by entering into what amounted to a fwb relationship with him. He thinks it’s funny in the kind of “I decide what honor is you shriveled prune” kind of way, myy.oc hates it and goes out of their way to be super polite to Satoru when they’re around his family because the idea that they would ever treat Satoru less than respectfully/as less than a person or not be an exclusive partner to him at any time offends them.

oh and myy oc's parents don't know, so that's a fun little stressor I have an unfinished draft for