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#overheard at hogwarts
daddiesdrarryy · 1 year
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Sirius: Why? Why, Reg?
Regulus, sighs: Why am I sleeping with James?
Sirius: Is it a pity thing? Do you pity my best friend?
Regulus: …
Sirius: Is he sick? Is Prongs dying?
Regulus: …
Sirius: Are you working for the dark side?
Regulus: …
Sirius: Damn it, he's holding you against your will, isn't he?
Regulus: Sirius-
Sirius: If he is holding you against your will, blink twice
Regulus: …
Sirius, blows at Regulus’s eyes: Blink twice, Reggie
Regulus: Really, Sirius?
Sirius: Is this revenge? When I pushed you into the lake when we were kids?
Sirius: You have a thing for glasses?
Regulus: I’m leaving the room, Sirius
Sirius: Is it huge?
Regulus: Sirius! Really?
Sirius: I'm sorry. Let me rephrase that
Sirius: Is it huge?
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overheard-at-hogwarts · 11 months
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James: Padfoot made it very clear that my allegiance should be to male comrades before women who sell their bodies for money.
Remus: ...Is it possible he actually said, "bros before hoes"?
James: Yes, but I rephrased it to avoid offending the hoes.
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marauderstars · 1 year
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Remus: Exactly how dumb does Regulus think you are?
James: Sometimes he leaves me pictures of food instead of a shopping list.
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Like everyone else i too have been charmed by the new slytherin boys
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incorrectrigel · 5 months
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Snape: *wears a slightly lighter shade of black* Poppy: Ah, I see you’re bringing out the spring wardrobe
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hogwartschronicles · 1 year
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Fred smirking: I just want to tear that dress of yours down and ...
George: Merlins beard you two! I'm in the room and I unfortunately have ears!
Fred: Then I advise you to leave Georgie, you don't wanna hear the next thing I'm gonna say nor do.
George getting up: I really need a separate bedroom or I shall obliviate myself every night ...
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The art isn't mine. Credits to: MAMI SKETCHES
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i-am-my-own-angel · 4 months
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Sirius: if the moon is made of cheese and saturn is six, how many pancakes could you eat on Mars?
James: yellow
Sirius: the correct answer is packing peanuts
James: oh i see, bcs you carry the two and-
Remus: what is wrong with you people?!
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wizards · 2 years
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Hermione: So, what happened to you, Draco?
Draco: I don’t want to talk about it
Harry: Good. We don’t want to hear about it.
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damyoujackson · 11 months
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dead sirius
Harry : Hey. Is it true my godfather's dead? Dumbledore : Yes Harry. I'm so sorry :/ Harry : Are you being serious professor? Snape : Dead Sirius, Potter. *evil greasy haired cackling* Harry : WhYYyyYYyYyY Dumbledore : I don't know about you but this (chewing popcorn) is pURE GOLD
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that-bitch-kat3 · 1 year
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(the girls trying to get remus to admit he likes sirius)
remus: guys stop, sirius is like a brother to me
lily: isn’t there enough fucking incest in his family already?
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daddiesdrarryy · 1 year
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Sirius: What’s your resolution for New Year, guys? You start first, Reggie
Regulus: I don’t got one
Sirius: None?
Regulus: Well, I’d like to be invited less to your lame parties with your friends
Sirius: Impossible. And my parties are cool. Prongs?
James: I wanna ask someone I like out
Sirius: Oh, really? You’re finally asking Lily out?
James: No, no, not her
Sirius: Well who is it then? Do I know them?
James: …that’s a very tricky question you’re asking, Pads
Sirius: Come on, what? Who is it? Moony, you know who Prongs is talking about?
Remus: …why don’t you talk about your resolution, Wormtail?
Peter: Oh, yeah, sure, I’d like to eat more vegetables, if I can
Sirius: That’s very healthy, Peter. Why don’t you tell me who it is, Prongs?
James: Pads, it’s no big deal
Sirius: You’re hiding something, aren’t you? You’re all pink
James: I’m not!
Sirius: Who is it? Is it some—oh Merlin, is it one of us? Is that why you can’t say it? You have a crush on someone here?
James: …
Sirius: Oh, no, is it—is it me?
James: What? No! No! Not you, I swear
Sirius: Okay, okay good, I’m slightly offended, but good. Who is it?
James: I’m not gonna tell you, Pads
Sirius: This is so unfair, it’s New Year, we gotta let go of all the secrets, Prongs. Who do you got a crush on?
Sirius: It isn’t me. So Moony?
James: …
Sirius: Wormtail?
James: …
Sirius: My Reggie?
James: Pads—
Sirius: Oh God, it’s Reg? You-you got a crush on my little brother? Regulus? My BROTHER? REGGIE?
Remus: James, run!
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overheard-at-hogwarts · 11 months
Conversation
Fred: You've come to the right people.
Ron: Uh, we didn't come to you at all.
Ginny: Yeah, you just walked in here without knocking...
George: There wasn't time for you guys to figure out you needed us. Fortunately, the walls are thin.
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marauderstars · 1 year
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Everyone: You two are so close, are you a couple?
Sirius: Alas, no.
James: We are, tragically, not attracted to each other.
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Pretty sure that Ominis wasn't very fond to hear that his new friend was ready to learn the Cruciatus Curse
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next
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incorrectrigel · 11 months
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Ginny: welcome to the “fuck Malfoy” support group, where we gather to say a collective “fuck you” to that stupid bitch Ginny: but first, a few words from our newest member Theo, sweating: so I may have misunderstood—
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