#p much the only high power weapons i can think of that ive seen others use are lich/sister weapons | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cleaduvalls · 5 years

Text

i watched “spy kids 4″ exactly twice and i plan to keep it that way. here are my thoughts

i had the volume up from the last one because it was SO QUIET and now my ears hurt. not a great start

i used to think that was carmen and i was so disappointed because i wanted to see carmens kids 😔

tik tok????? oh no

i thought tick tock was matthew lillard for most of the movie

you cant do that in the SIMS

why are you shifitng gears. you dont need to shift gears

shut up wilbur have YOU given birth?????

YOU GO IN AT EVERY FIVE TO SEVEN MINUTES AND YOURE AT THREE ARE YOU S T U P I D

wait it sounds like ive given birth i havent i assure you

a pregnant belly wouldnt make that sound

yeah alright whatever shaggy youre high

isnt she from girl meets world??????

itd make a better sitcom honestly

hahah funney because shes a spy

WHY ARE YOU NOT IN THERE WITH YOUR W I F E

birth is NOT that short

i would be great at cinemasins

oh!!!! disabled character!!!!

who approved this show

oh like its HER fault

youre watching the clock speed up why are you not suspicious

roll credits

argonaut. my english teacher would like that

its 5 o clock somewhere

have you not been watching the show??????

there is a serious lack of floop

i feel like ive seen the boy before too

guess not

also i guess this one had a smell feature?????? ig thats why the baby farts so much

AND IT EXPLAINS THE DRESSING!!!! YOU CAN SMELL DRESSING!!!!!

dont say stepmother its creepy

ooh tinker toys!!!! real ones this time!!!!

girl its dyed blue youre gonna stain your carpet

oh God she wants to be FRIENDS

epic????? No

these pranks can all be used for smellovision

aromascope ig??????

BEING FRIENDS!!!! THATS SOME FANFIC LEVEL TROPEYNESS

oops

the CHEETOS

because you pulled the prank?????

power move

those are really your worst fears?????

i have almost that exact clock

youre looking for SPIES not VILLIANS

i kinda want a clock hand sword

MARISSA NO IM DYING OF SECONDHAND EMBARASSMENT

cecils so chill

it looks like the slime from floops castle..... i miss floop

felix has been replaced??? by a computer voice????

oh mood

hahah carmen said that

is that ricky gervais

oh!!!! they broke gender binary!!!!!! took the other chair!!!!!

worlds smallest camera!!!!!!

yeah hes right theres no invisibility powder

its not a SPACESHIP theyre not IN SPACE

hey can we maybe not put that in a movie thanks

yeah i hate this one

that fall was awful

C A R M E N!!!!!!!!!!!

wilbur youre so boring

spy week???? dont you mean shark week?????

buddypack!!!!

IS THAT THE PICTURE FROM WHERE THEY ENTERED FLOOPS CASTLE AND THEN JUNI SAW A THUMB THUMB

i watch these movies too much

except this one this one sucks

7 years ago????? when game over came out????? nice

THE BRAIN THING THAT MADE FOOGLIES!!!

SPY PLANE!!!

SEA GUPPY!!!!

CARMENS GAME SUIT!!!!

why does she still have that

HOW does she still have that

MACHETES ELECTROSHOCK GUMBALLS!!!!!!

DRAGON SPY!!!!

take that giggleses

JUNI!!!! only video tho ://

oof

WAIT I JUST SAW ARGONAUTS NAME TAG AND MY DOG HAD THAT SAME ONE BUT IN PINK AND WE HAD TO GET HER A NEW ONE BECAUSE IT WAS S O L O U D

your baby is your back up????? Bad Idea

did you not name your child????

why did they pause for a label????

stop making time puns i hate you

i really hope those are floops. like the cereal

stop calling her stepmother like its her name its CREEPY

stop WASTING them

just say youre marissas kids?????? they know who she is

oh God piss joke

oh God POOP joke

right its the bombs that make him cool not the fact that hes literally ricky gervais

and a fart joke????? i hate this movie

silent but LETHAL???? awfyl. i hate it

toot??? stop making fart jokes

OH THEYRE GETTING CHASED CUZ THE SAPPHIRE i need to pay attention more. i blame buzzfeed

“you weirdo you vaporized us” STOP TRYING TO GET ME TO LIKE THIS MOVIE BY PLAYING ON MY NOSTALGIA

its not working btw. i hate this movie

oh look. a butt joke.

oh yay disney acid trip

uh yeah???? hes ricky gervais

yeah except shes WHITE

i kinda wanna go to the cheese shop. wisconsin instincts ig

thats not a WORD

no the red ones the second hand do you know anything?????

how does she know how to army crawl???? shes EIGHT

there are 42 minutes left im suffering

oh no he died

is she wearing twinkle toes??????

did they.... teleport???? was that an awkward cut???? did they straight up travel through time????? im so confused

yknow as an OBVIOUS choice for the next doctor, floop should REALLY be in the movie centered around time

im gonna punch this dude

IM GONNA PUNCH THIS DUDE TOO YOU CAN STILL BE A FAMILY AND CALL YOURSELF STEPKIDS

hes the hulk

oh dear he referenced a meme

he just called the google lady annoying im gonna punch him next

n i c e

SHIITAKE MUSHROOMS!!!!!!

yeah theyre gonna flip youre STALKING THEM

that seems like a Bad Idea

try harder rebecca

IF YOURE GONNA TAKE THEM THERE W H A T DO YOU THINK THEYRE GONNA DO???????

dude you look like youre on crack

youre gonna divorce her because she wasnt allowed to tell you?????????

W H A T

no???? ofc not???? you have no weapons??????

DUDE CHILL SHE L I T E R A L L Y COULDNT TELL YOU

and i feel fine~

J U N I!!!!!!!!!!! FOR REALS!!!!!!!!

oh shiitake mushrooms he got kinda cute

you can???? reach into the garbage can???????

BECAUSE YOURE CHILDREN!!!!!! THEY SHUT DOWN THE SPY KIDS PROGRAM!!!!!!

i love the sound of clockwork. so soothing. that doctor who episode with the time robots???? a fave

oh no they all have died

M A C H E T E!!!!!!!!

why did juni freeze if he didnt really freeze???? thats some buzz lightyear level stuff

oh hey i just realized that junis hair is back!!

oh no now argos the hulk too

the baby looks like dora

hahah funney

HE WAS TOAST IN THE FIRST MOVIE S T O P P L A Y I N G O N N O S T A L G I A

and diaper lady???? Stop

nice censorship

can hearing aids work that well???? im no expert but i dont think they can do that?????

taking his hearing aids???? i hate this guy

R A L P H!!!!

oh!!!!!! sign language!!!!!

Even Evil Has Standards

are they trying to make me cry?? im not

you can travel through time youre just not COOL ENOUGH

oh worm????

side note i figured they were the same guy but i was so disappointed when it wasnt matthew lillard

please let this be over i need to mindlessly scroll the spy kids wiki

stop being philosophical youre wearing twinkle toes

roll credits

us???? wouldnt that be me???? or is us right??? clones are wack

yEET

oh no he died

why did he float???? did they run out of gravity?????

he moved before he touched the watch

yeah but hell see his dad again and thats the point of this whole thing????

oh no he died. for reals this time

this time???? you have 6 months

STOP👏MAKING👏TIME👏PUNS👏

i cant raise my eyebrow😔

YOU CANT DO THAT WE JUST DISCUSSED IT

thats hot

WHY DOES SHE NOT HAVE A NAME

yes bc youre a robot shut up

oh thank God its over

#spy kids #spy kids 4 #all the time in the world #sk4 #spy kids 4 spoilers #spoilers #juni cortez #carmen cortez

14 notes · View notes

implacablealecto-blog · 7 years

Photo

fire. that’s her signature. fire & explosions. it’s pretty basic, she knows, compared to what the other death eaters can do. however, when something ends up turned to ashes, or goes boom - everyone knows who was responsible. alecto wants to watch the world burn, she wants to destroy, and nature has a power that no other magic holds. you better don’t cross her path, because her temper is as explosive as her wand.

ii.

alecto’s relationship with her parents has never been good. in fact, it has never been a relationship at all. from the beginning of her life it was clear she wasn’t what her parents had wanted, she was the spare, and they were never shy to let her know that. there wasn’t any kind of mistreatment or cruelty towards her, no more than the one your regular elite pureblood supremacist family holds, especially when it comes to children - it was just pure and plain indifference.

they didn’t really care whether alecto lived or died, basically. yes, they gave her tutors, she learned music, languages, dancing, just like every other pureblood lady - but every time she would skip classes and disappear for hours, or maybe an entire day, no one would even flinch, no one went looking. at first her temper tantrums and predilection for trouble were a way of trying to get their attention. however, as time went by, these episodes became more and more violent and risky. In the course of a couple of years, alecto managed to utterly and completely destroy her reputation as a pureblood lady. she thought that would infuriate her parents; but every time one of the pureblood families deemed her as undesirable for their sons - the carrows would stare at her with icy eyes, and resigned ones, as if they were waiting for this exact thing to happen; as if she was proving to be the useless nothing they had always thought she was.

nowadays things are slightly different though. after the war, the carrows lost the majority of their fortune due to bad investments; counting on lord voldemort to win. the easiest solution would be, of course, to marry amycus off - but he is the only heir, and they don’t want to waste the family name in someone unworthy, no matter how dangerous the situation is. therefore, marrying alecto off to someone with enough money became a necessity. there was only one problem, though. how can you come back from years of indifference and gelid hatred? they thought they could turn back time. mrs. carrow tried to get closer to the daughter she never wanted, to spoil her; but even her realised soon enough that they didn’t really know the girl in front of them anymore. alecto had become something out of their reach; too far gone.

so they explained the situation and pretty much handed her to the first person that came along and wanted her. It turned out to be corban yaxley - a complete surprise, since the yaxleys are one of the richest and purest families of the community. It’s a mystery to the carrows the reason corban actually wanted to get betrothed to their daughter, but they’re not going to question it.

iii.

she doesn’t sleep. not unless her brother is there, not unless she’s with someone she trust. she goes to bed extremely late, tosses and turns, and wakes up very early in the morning if she closed her eyes at all. paranoia, some say - but it’s more than that. she doesn’t like the darkness, nor the voices that stalk her when there’s too much silence around. she doesn’t like the questions her own head asks. she will sleep enough when she’s dead.

iv.

alecto doesn’t really care about many muggle things; mainly because she grew up learning how to despise them. however, there are some exceptions to the rule. horror is something muggles clearly know how to write well, and she knows how to appreciate talent. over the years she’s become obsessed with edgar allan poe’s poems, and she’s gone as far as to learn some of them by hard and repeat them to herself in vague moments of melancholy. there’s something about the thought of a beautiful woman in a grave, an unforgettable woman; that soothes her. she subconsciously wishes to be a lost lenore some day.

h. p. lovecraft, another one of her favourites. she admires any twisted mind that can produce such a dreadful picture with their words. she can only do that with her hands; but there’s no way she could properly explain what happens whenever she loses control - not like these authors.

other literature, she doesn’t really care about. she’s never been that much of an avid reader anyway, too busy causing trouble and trying to make her parents’ life a living hell (and failing at that, mostly, since they didn’t really care).

as for music, she also prefers muggle things to the magical stuff. then again, she has never listened to many tunes either. she’s pretty much obsessed with the singer stevie nicks; claiming to whoever wants to hear that she’s a genius and that she must have magical blood in her because there’s no way a muggle can write songs like that - they’re too basic. she also enjoyes classical music, specifically richard wagner. as a child, her and amycus’ green python was actually named after the composer.

her first kill is something insignificant; not worthy of an epic story. she’s seventeen and a girl in her year pisses her off. she wants her place, she wants her friends, she wants what’s hers. so she takes the petite blonde to the forbidden forest and she plans on scaring her. something goes wrong, the prey grows a backbone. she snaps and ends up with a body, covered in blood. she becomes desperate, and she hates herself for it. she wants to be calm, collected, covered in ice like she knows most of her friends would behave in this situation - but she simply can’t. her brother helps cover it up, her friends help as well. a lie is uncovered; the girl was actually a muggle born posing as a half blood due to her unfortunate sorting in slytherin. the press screams death eater attack, hogwarts has to close its door for a couple weeks. no one ever knew the killer - no one ever suspected those red lips and thick long eyelashes. she gets the dark mark at the end of the year, and her life is never completely hers again.

vi.

alecto was born a whole ten minutes after amycus. physically, she was the weaker twin, the smaller, and the one who brought more problems when she came out of her mother. growing up, this differences showed. she’s shorter and physically much less strong than her brother. and she resents that. she wishes she could be bigger, have broader shoulders. despite of her curvy body she sees herself as too thin; no muscly enough, not intimidating enough.

in time, she learned to accept her body and adapt it to her new purposes. she realised that maybe she didn’t need to be intimidating for people to do her bidding. sex could be a weapon too, and she was going to become the most dangerous of them all. however, her height still bothered her, and that’s when the heels came into play.

alecto always wears high heels. not only when she goes out of the manor, but inside the manor, as soon as she wakes up, during death eater missions, it doesn’t make a difference. she has trained herself to run in high heels, fight, jump, you name it. there are actually few people that have seen her standing up without shoes for enough time to actually figure out how short she really is. and if you dare to comment on it, well, get ready for some serious fire.

vii.

alecto lost her virginity a couple of days after turning fifteen to one of the many pureblood guys she met at her family’s parties. it wasn’t romantic or poetic. it was just a quick shag against a tree in one of the manor’s gardens. they didn’t really know each other - only by name - and later that night she had to explain her mother the reason why her zipper was broken and why there was a very suspicious stain on the lower half of her dress. her excuses weren’t enough for mrs. carrow, obviously, but she pretended to believe everything her daughter was saying. it was the first time alecto saw some sort of emotion in her mother’s eyes - fear.

after that first experience, she took the habit of running away from home and spending the night with random people she picked up in pubs; sometimes they would be purebloods, sometimes they weren’t. sometimes she used them to get something, other times just to have fun. with every new bed she visited, sex became more meaningless to her. it was a means to an end, and an enjoyable one at that. in alecto’s vocabulary; sex and intimacy are not even close to be the same thing.

viii.

family is something alecto barely knows. in her eyes, amycus is her only family - the only person in the world she fully trusts. she would kill and die for him - she would make sacrifices for her brother that she wouldn’t make for anyone else. they’re inseparable, much to their parents dismay.

nonetheless, alecto wants to know family at some point. beyond amycus, she wants to have children, wants to be a mother. what kind of mother would she be? a lousy one, everything surely thinks. she’s the rebel, the monster, the violent, the slut, the spare, the discarded twin. they might be right, she thinks, but motherhood might be a chance to stop feeling so empty, to give someone the warmth she didn’t get.

ix.

creatures. she’s fascinated by them. werewolves, vampires, centaurs; she’s obsessed with the fact that they are so connected to their primal instincts, to their basic senses. humans, she believes, have become so eager to be sociably adapted; to be considered sane by their peers, that have lost all trace of nature inside of them. she refuses to. she despises the false idea of control. she is chaos, she enjoys it, she surrounds herself with it. perhaps that’s her less human quality.

alecto is fluent in spanish. however, she grew up using english as her native tongue; so you won’t find her reverting to another language unintentionally. she has always believed spanish to be a more powerful language, so she only uses it when she was to really emphasise what she’s saying. this usually happens during two particular situations - when she swears, and when she’s having sex.

there’s something very relaxing that comes with screaming “me cago en la puta madre” or “ni verga” at someone; or calling your partner “papi” instead of “daddy”.

she also talks in spanish with amycus whenever she doesn’t want anyone to understand what she’s saying. it has become a sort of code between the twins, and they have perfected it to a point that their parents sometimes have no idea what they’re talking about. mrs. carrow in particular gets extremely annoyed whenever they do this, which only prompts alecto to do it even more often.

#corazon coraza / headcanons #headcanons #this is long as f i'm so sorry

4 notes · View notes

kappasigmalife · 7 years

Text

Desolate Caladium: Chp 4 Is this love or war?

Desolate Caladium: Chp 5

Is this love or war?

Callum had been very distant since he kissed me, all he does is keep to himself while were living out in the cabin, hes rebuilt the wall and stayed out for odd hours of the day only coming home at night. When he kissed me, he said he may love me, im so confused, its like theres multiple sides to him at every turn, the stoic, the loving, and the violent. I wish I could help him through this but I have no idea what goes on in a mages head. Evelyn said that the main problem comes from his lack of control over mana as a mage, but training for five years under a master should of helped him. This had only happened one time before when he and trev were out in the woods hunting and he got hurt while callum was looking for food. A beast came out of nowhere and callum just snapped breaking its neck in cold blood. She was watching from afar and saw the look in his eyes that told her to stay behind or she may be the next victim. I knew a simple hug wouldn’t help him snap out of the rage, it was something we had to watch and see. The more I think about it the more I notice that I do care about him. When we watched the snow he pulled away from me saying he was sorry for kissing me.

“its not something I can control, I don’t know what I feel anymore, all I know is I feel the need to help you every chance I get.” “then stay with me, your going to do the best you can.” “and what if I am the one to hurt you next”

That made me think all over again what It meant to hurt another person, weve traveled and hid for a long time since the death of the king, and were running out of money. Callum works day in and day out, never sleeping and trying to keep up the energy just to live. He visits Alfin and evelyn in the hospital repeatedly looking for the need to apologize but cant do a damn thing about it. Alfin wants a rematch but callum wont stand for it while hes recuperating. The madness I see in his eyes is nothing but a trivial matter in that state, it’s the power he unleashes that comprimises the sanctity of safety. Evelyn visits me in the day to talk and wants to travel with us in spring as a group considering none of us are capable of being on our own.

“its for the best desmond, were not here for any other reason but to survive in this bout of life.” “doing so will keep us in less danger, so please understand that I need to run this by callum.” “of course he will fully give support on a yes or no, but please we don’t have much time to spare.”

“I know and I will talk to him as soon as I can evelyn, its just he doesn’t seem to wanna talk anymore” “I know desmond, he must be sorting his feelings out, im sure he will be back to normal soon.” over the days going by, evelyn has shown me how to fight with the sickle and even sparred with me a few times, while I am still a novice I will learn to get better. She even made a chain for me to use as a long range weapon and got me a grip so my hand doesn’t get shredded. It was nice of her as I know with alfin in the hospital he wont be much help around so offering her food and a place to talk is fine with her. She does seem a bit worried of both of her friends and doesn’t seem to talk about trev as much as everyone else claims to talk about him as well. She says its cuase hes always distant and would normally just hang out with callum more often than not, but that might be cause they come from similar backgrounds and they saw each other as friends through commonality. Trev was the one who joined him during his training as a guard in case things went south. She said he was always a man after money and almost got callum expelled cause he was taking payment for guard duty of other mages despite it being against the schools rule of compensation.

Elsewhere in the kingdom, trev appears before a group of elders about his performance. He has been wanted for taking payment against orders and may face expulsion from the knights guard for it. The council perceives him as a threat due to his heritage and bloodline, being a vampire is bad enough but a orc dwarf mix is unheard of even in peasant families.

“dear trevant, why do you think its fine to take wares from those you work under as a job.” “to make a living, nothing more nothing less, I find no need to not accept a payment for a better job.”

“we found the pendent in your quarters, is this what you accepted as payment from that wanted murderer?” “I accepted the pendant as a gift from caladium when he left for training before I was sent over, a personal gift from a friend and comrade, nothing more.” “you think we will fall for that garbage, you let a murderer live regardless of the orders, high treason is what you committed, hence forth the elders have decided to exile you not only from the knights guard but from the kingdom entirely.” “fine with me this place was getting to hectic for my taste anyway, just another group of old folk looking to take down a new generation of progressive movement, heres my weapon and badge, im keeping the armor.” “be sure you will be escorted this evening outside the gate, wehre you go from there is your own issue.” “well thank goodness, I thought id be still here begging for mercy.”

Trev is led out to the citys outskirts and led away from the guards. As he looks back he shrugs his shoulders and shoulders his svardstav looking to the north. He recounts that he is happy to be done with being a knight as he found it too bothersome to save anyone based on an order and many of his so called targets were innocent bystanders, who happen to have crap loads of money. Reaching into his satchel he notices how much money hes got.

“thank you caladium and your magic stash.” trev walks down the dirt path as the snow begins to fall looking upwards he decides to head north before the holiday rush begins, knowing full well being alone on holidays is quite a pain in the ass. He traveled to a small lodging taking a black horse and leaving a small sack of gold in its pen stealing one of the swords from the mans armory and hauling off to the north.

I never thought much of the fact that callum was focusing on himself until it donned on me that he doesn’t have anyone to fight on even footing, at least without going crazy. His fight with trev showed me how skilled he is but also how far hes willing to go for the sake of saving his friend. i see the look in his eyes knowing full well he wont be around all the time for us and that the token of giving up a priceless artifact just to save our lives was not to taken lightly. He came to me for the first time in a few days asking if I wanted to go out to the trade market and shop around. Despite the lack of money, he wanted to get out of the woods and enjoy ourselves for once before the tourists pile in. evelyn chose to stay behind and wait for alfin to fully recover, I promised to get her a new coat as her royal one will remain to conspicuous against finding areas to hide out. I notice though that even as we walked, callum was quiet as ever but was at least smiling at me for the least.

“evelyn been teaching you well, your steps are quieter than before, and your getting more fit.” “well yeah more so im happy that your finally talking to me.” “I know, ive been thinking about what I did and how I either acted stupidly or if it truly was for the best I did it.”

“you didn’t have to do it you know, you didn’t have be kiss me like you needed to prove something.” “well it was an heat of passion, I was blinded by emotion and thought that maybe I had some feelings spilling out, but that wasn’t the case.”

He grabbed me by the arm and dragged me to one of the shops, it was an apothecary that had rare herbs and minerals from far off lands. As I gazed around I could feel the energy was pure and whimsical to say the least. Callum had wanted this to be special for me, so he called in a favor from his friends outside the kingdom to make up for being so distant. In the back he set up a special meal for us with my favorite food. He lit the candles using magic and tossed a sphere to create an artificial moon over us. The night went on for hours as we enjoyed out meal and attempted to move past the problems that we were facing with new comrades and the guards after us.

“never in my life would I feel safer than with you.” “no matter how far one of us goes, the other shall follow til the very end.” “despite the time, I feel as though we knew one another once before.” “that might be the case, but regardless, here we are now.”

I felt his foot going on top of mine not letting me go and proceeded to take me by the hand as the light dimmed into the room. He swayed me across as if it was a royal banquet and held me close. I felt overwhelmed as no one has ever embraced me as such before. The night felt like an eternity as I felt his gentle hands on mine, he rocked me in the room all night kissing my forehead and telling me that he was right to kiss me.

“no more will I be afraid, you were the first man to show me the look of innocence.” “and you are the man who showed me how to be a stronger person, to protect and believe that I am meant for more.” “I missed you so much over those five years, I always wanted to see you but the kingdom had turned on itself and I couldn’t find a way out.” “and I only wished to pay you back the way you did for me so many times.” as we walked out of the building he took my hand and held me close, I never seen him smile so much from one night of fun. He pulled me as we started rushing in the streets, bringing me to a wooden path.

“I wanted to ensure that this night doesn’t end too quickly, so I found a spot we can relax at.” “you really don’t have to do all this.” “trust me youll love this.” as he pulled me through the brush and down the path, I could tell that things were getting somehow warmer, like not just in the air or his smile. I finally felt like someone cared after so long. When we reached the end of the path I could only see a massive emerald fire burning in a pit and blanket sprawled out. callum sat asking me to join him and showed me what he had done.

“I used some old runes I had to make a everchanging flame, as it burns it shows the emotion we both convey.” “that’s really sweet, I can feel its heat from here.” callum kissed me saying that he was happy I loved the idea, the two of us kissed as we both saw the flames going from green to a yellow, and then to a deep red.

“crimson red, the color of love and adoration , all that I give for you is what I wish to hold.” “so long at you are close to me I can feel nothing but the upmost care for a man I see as my eternity.” Callum laid me down and undid my jacket seeing me sweating from the fires heat. He swiftly took his off and continued to caress my neck. I felt my arms grabbing his shirt tearing it slightly. When I apologized, he looked at me with an intense look.

“no need to think you hurt me, for im going to love you until the dawn breaks.” he took my shirt off holding my hands as he played with my nipples and teased my pants. I couldn’t help but look as he tore his off showing off his husky physique and sweated chest, his hair down and his brown eyes staring deeply into me like garnet nuggets in a kiln ready to be smoldered. He laid me down and unzipped my pants and began sucking me off. I could feel no better sensation than ive ever felt. I noticed his pants getting tighter and I unzipped them revealing this throbbing dagger, wholeheartedly grabbing and stroking it making him moan. I pulled the pants off as we stared at one another naked under the moonlight as callum waved his hands and wrapped the flames of love around us.

“I want you to see the magic of both humanity and the love I burn for you.” I watched as the flames began enveloping into a vortex around us and he laid on top of me his his hair parted and smiling at me. I felt as he began teasing my virgin hole with his hands and tongue, he was willing to do so much for me, and I could see the man I saw on horseback all that time ago, ready to make love for the first time. he held my hand as he made love to me, thrusting gently and slowly grabbing my waist and kissing me calling me name. the flames changing from red to yellow to a heavenly white. It was a perfect site to behold around me but the real sight was the man I wanted to see gazing into my eyes. He never topped pleasuring me even when he was the one doing the work, he made me feel so good that night. He made me climax right before him and as he waved his hand the flames receded to the pit and continued to burn. With us embracing the sun began to rise.

“that really was a magical endeavor callum, thank you.” he couldn’t hear as he had fallen asleep, I parted his and kissed his forehead and nuzzled up to him feeling his heartbeat as we slumbered well into the day.

#Desolate Caladium #lgbtpride #gay bear #gay #webcomic idea

2 notes · View notes

sol1loqu1st · 7 years

Text

hi i want to talk abt foi bc its legit among the coolest things ive done; this is long as Fuck but the book is longer i just really wanna talk,, abt this,,

it’s a high fantasy set on the northernmost side of a huge desert (a sea borders its northern side; beyond the sea is a country filled with plains and forests)

there were seven tribes (i still need to look up definitions and see if thats the most accurate term for what im goin for; im thinking abt just using ‘city’ tbh but yknow) in the desert:

-the riches tribe, whose people could shape gemstones and metals (think metalbending but add precious stones in the mix; each person can only control one thing and ur power is usually decided by the stars or some shit)

-the elements tribe, who could control the forces of wind, fire, water, or stone (now LITERALLY think atla; powers are passed down genetically and a few people can control two elements if their parents controlled different ones)

-the land, sky, and sea tribes, who could control animals related to their tribe (land tribe ppl can also learn to turn into their favored animal, sky tribe ppl grow wings as toddlers, sea tribe ppl can breathe underwater & usually live in the sea on the northern border of the desert bc they dont do well on land; powers are decided based on the animals’ preferences – e.g. if ravens had a specific affinity for a kid in the sky tribe the kid would grow raven wings and be able to communicate with and eventually control ravens)

-the time and space tribes, who destroyed each other 60 years ago, and have the power to speed, slow, or even stop time during the hour of their birth, or manifest physical objects from glowing blue energy that makes up everything in the world (also can see in the dark, i guess?)

60 years ago, a huge war happened between the seven tribes, wiping out the space tribe completely (except for one person; more on that later) and destroying all but 200 of the time tribe, who repopulated to about 1,000, and ruining a Lot of stuff in the other five tribes. for the most part the remaining 5 tribes (minus the time tribe for Reasons) have rebuilt themselves but hints of the past war linger. no one is aware that the time tribe survived (they rebuilt their city FAR from the original location). the time and space tribes faded from public consciousness pretty quickly since all their historical records were destroyed; most of the knowledge about them now is legends and myths

in the present day, 5 children (one from each of the remaining tribes) who lost various loved ones to the same glowing blue knives (created, ofc, by the surviving member of the space tribe, ebon (…courtesy of 2012 me’s genius naming skills, they’re all gonna be like this it’s part of the aesthetic), though the kids dont know that or even recognize it as a space tribe power) are approached by an old man (guess who! its ebon) who claims to be the last surviving member of the space tribe and apparently has evidence that the time tribe is plotting revenge and theyre the ones that killed the kids’ families and he speaks of a supposed prophecy that 5 kids who the time tribe had stolen from are gonna defeat the time tribe once and for all

the kids (and at this point, hopefully the reader too) are the wrong kind of genre savvy, and believe they’ve been approached by gandalf or some shit, and each end up Accepting The Call

(meanwhile back at the time tribe, the king and his rebellious teenage son talk about the future of the time tribe. teenage son, midnight (heyy GUESS what hour hes able to use his powers) learns to use Time Powers that are suspiciously dissimilar to the ones ebon was talking abt the ppl from the time tribe being able to use. midnight uses his powers to get more sleep bc his dad kinda overworks the shit out of him bc like the future of this horrifically unstable and tiny city is in midnight’s hands, basically, and we learn that Its Dangerous bc if u get stuck slowing down/speeding up time after ur 1 hour is up u basically become Time Tobias and ur trapped like that Until You Die)

if uve made it this far i think its time for a proper introduction to the 6 protags of part 1 (another is added in part 2 but we’re not there yet)

-eagle, from the sky tribe, a Massive Fuckin Jock Who Loves To Sport. shes 14 and pretty athletic but tends to chicken out when shit gets tough and so never makes it to the Fly Sport Playoffs. shes a Massive Optimist at first but then she finds her parents dead (hint: it was ebon). she deals with this throughout the novel i hope im writing her well lmao because i wanted it to have a Legit Impact on her character and not just be angst. A N Y W A Y she instantly pegs ash and emerald as The Rich Kids (ash is legit a rich kid, emerald is just from the riches tribe where they traditionally sew gems and shit into their clothes) and judges em for it

-snake, from the land tribe, a 13yo, Lonely Autistic who loves reptiles. (ok i mean. this is high fantasy and im really not sure if autism is a diagnosis in high fantasy. ive done my absolute best to code her as autistic and she is in fact autistic i just dont say it in canon bc idk how to bring it up) ppl dont like her at first because she comes across as cold but actually shes like the most adorable fuckin dork youve ever seen shes great. she doesnt talk hardly at all unless shes Super Comfortable around the people shes with, which is a challenge for me to write but tbqh shes my absolute favorite of the bunch,, also her only friend ever was a thief named lore who was (supposedly) killed by GUESS FUCKEN WHO

-ash, the 14yo daughter of one of the 4 ruling families of the elements tribe. her family’s genetic power is fire but she could never figure it out (later she discovers her power is actually water; im…..still figuring out how that works genetically she might just be adopted lmao) ebon brought her the news of her parents’ deaths and managed to kill her little sister while her back was turned; somehow she does not suspect him. shes kind of a snob and doesnt really /get/ the rest of the group and comes across pretty rude at first. (also, she and eagle deal w their very recent grief very differently but idk her exact Grief Arc yet)

-emerald, who i think is? 12? 13? i cant remember but somewhere around there; shes from the riches tribe, was orphaned as a toddler and raised by supposedly extinct desert dragons (which are basically 12-20ft desert iguanas), which were all wiped out horribly by more of ebon’s shit space weapons. she lived with ash’s family for a while when they were years younger but eventually emerald got blamed for ash’s lack of control over fire and was forced to leave, she found the riches tribe and discovered that she could metalbend emeralds lmao. shes a storyteller and raises money for orphans now i guess

-shark, a scrappy homeless 10yo from the sea tribe who will steal anything shiny enough. he has pointy teeth and an eyepatch (which covers a golden sphere in place of his eye) and hes reckless as fuKC. he was too young to remember his parents but when questioned about it he remembers blue knives (GUESS WHO). hes pretty unaware that sharks are infact chaotic neutral sea predators who do not give a shit about him even if he can communicate with them and he starts the novel with a Pretty Serious Bite Injury™. he takes a lot of shit apart and puts it back together in horrifying ways. yknow sid from toy story? basically thats shark if sid lived underwater and was portrayed as a fundamentally good person

-midnight, the 16yo prince of the time tribe, a Rebellious Teen™ who doesnt want responsibility and has Horrible Insomnia. he thinks his dad is Evil And Controlling and probably listens to heavy metal behind his back (meanwhile his dad is actually pretty decent just busy as Fuck trying to keep the time tribe from accidentally inbreeding collapsing and trying to show midnight how to lead; hes overprotective but not evil). he broke a pattern of various people born at midnight/noon alternating every century and people think hes Destined For Greatness™ or some shit; he is having absolutely none of that will someone let this child sleep instead of waking him up in the middle of the night to practice magic

anyway yea thats p much all ive edited so far and tbqh i dont remember a whole lot of details but That Is My Book!

#novel: foi

4 notes · View notes

ciathyzareposts · 4 years

Text

Game 365: Muryaden (1989)

You are not misinterpreting this screen. The troll is having his genitals stimulated by a magic stone. It’s that kind of game.

Muryaden

France

Elrik et Deckard (developers); Bytlejuice (publisher)

Released in 1989 for Apple II

Date Started: 12 May 2020

Date Ended: 14 May 2020

Total Hours: 5 Difficulty: Moderate (3/5) Final Rating: (to come later) Ranking at time of posting: (to come later)

At first glance, Muryaden is another Ultima clone, but I guess it was intended as a sort of anti-Ultima. It was made by developers who held at least mild contempt for not only Lord British but the entire history of American RPGs. I get this from a web page that one of the authors used to maintain; I would appreciate if anyone who speaks French fluently would scan this page and let me know if there’s anything in the following account that I got wrong. I can read French, but I’m having trouble with this French, which seems to include a lot of slang and nonstandard uses of words. Do French people really use ricaines as a slur for “Americans”?

Anyway, the chief complaint of Elrik and Deckard seems to be that the American approach to fantasy RPGs was too “clean.” They were less interested in high fantasy of the Tolkien type and more interested in gritty Conan-style sword and sorcery, with attendant sex and gore. In their authors’ desires to ensure that their programs wouldn’t be banned by “austere Puritan traditionalists,” they argued, American RPGs always take place in a “quasi-religious atmosphere” in which a noble purifier “arrives at the right time to deliver the world from a diabolical oppressor.” The plots are interchangeable and the universes are “clean and hygienic,” with no sex, brothels, or even any latrines.

The game is credited to “Elrik” and “Deckard.”

I think the authors go a bit too far in imputing motive to American RPG developers (and not far enough in appreciating them for, you know, inventing the genre in the first place), but I’ll concede that they have a point. American CRPGs in the 1980s are awfully vanilla. I don’t know that the solution lies in graphic descriptions of demon ejaculate, but at least it gets points for originality.

The backstory for the game thus reads less like someone trailblazing a new era in realism and more like the fruits of the perverse imaginations of two sex-starved young men. I’m going to elide quite a lot, partly to prevent Google from putting an NC-17 warning on my blog, partly because I didn’t always understand the language, and partly because I just found it gross. Some misunderstandings of my previous positions have led to an incorrect “The CRPG Addict has a problem with breasts!” belief, but I have no problem with the perception that I have a problem with graphic description of anal manipulations with tentacles. That belief is 100% accurate.

The story begins when a sorcerer named Mithgul moved into the middle of a fairly generic fantasy kingdom. He holed himself up in his fortress and got to work on various inventions and experiments, almost all of a sexual nature. He created a “stone of beauty,” an artifact that endowed its holder with “unlimited charisma,” such that he could drive a crowd of people to mass suicide. He mated humans with demons and beasts to produce all kinds of abominations. He collected fluid samples from dozens of species and invented a number of creative aphrodisiacs.

The game is at first visually indistinguishable from one of the Ultimas.

Mithgul’s efforts came to an end when the seed of a demon mixed with some other chemicals and caused an explosion that destroyed Mithgul’s tower. Unfortunately, the escaping vapors engulfed the nearby town of Bar-Calenlad and turned the entire population into nymphomaniacs, leading to massive population growth. A local order of paladins didn’t have any hope of maintaining their chastity vows, and soon their fortress had expanded enough in population to form a new city, Bar-Tolainor. Trolls escaping from Mithgul’s dungeon formed their own city, Echorkeliant. Generations later, each city has developed its own sado-sexual traditions. Lately, a villain named Beltrik the Skatomancer has re-inhabited the ruins of the fortress. He’s kidnapped the daughter of King Valdrin and caused such strife among the trolls that they’ve split into two factions. Into this milieu, the character is dropped without an explicit quest yet.

Character creation.

Character creation doesn’t break much new ground. You assign a name and race (human, elf, dwarf, hobbit), after which the game randomly rolls for wisdom, strength, dexterity, and intelligence, modified by race. These four attributes together determine the derived statistics of vitality, charisma, skill, and perception. Your choice of class (sorcerer, priest, warrior, thief) has further effects on these statistics, and finally you can specify a “type” (charmer, skillful, attentive, resistant) that makes further modifications.

My early-game character sheet.

The game begins with the character standing on the plains outside Bar-Calenlad. The game world is a small 58 x 58, but it seems larger because of frequent random encounters. There are the three cities mentioned in the backstory plus a few dungeons and Castle Gondarnost. The interface follows Ultima‘s tradition of mapping commands to individual keys, such as C)hercher (search), O)uvrir (open), and P)énétrer (enter, as in a city).

Can someone tell me what the phrase y-a peau d’Zébi means?

Enemies mostly include fantasy standards like orcs, trolls, bandits, mercenaries, zombies, kobolds, and giant spiders and snakes. They’re not seen in the environment until they attack. Combat is a little more complex than Ultima but not quite as complex as, say, Wizardry. You face only one enemy at a time, and you have options to fight, change weapons, cast a spell, use an object, advance, back off, surrender, or steal. “Advance” and “back off” are unusual commands, but there’s a distance consideration in combat, with enemies and characters occupying four potential spaces from très proche (very close) to très loin (very far). Certain weapons work better (or don’t work at all) at various distances.

Fighting an ettin from “close enough.”

The cities are menu cities that offer various options depending on the city. Bar-Calenlad offers an inn, a Temple of Eros, a guild, an alchemist, a weapon/armor shop, and a fence. Early on, I didn’t understand the options for the other places, so I just bought a dagger and robe (the only items my strength would let me wield) and headed out to fight.

Menu options in the troll city of Echorkeliant.

It took me a lot of deaths (fortunately, reloading is quick) before I realized the importance of getting physically close to the enemy when all you have is a dagger. The good news is that when you’re that close, enemies spend a lot of their turns trying to back off, which you can allow or not. If you’re successful in disallowing it, the enemy has wasted the turn; if he manages to back off, you can just advance your next round. These advantages helped make up for how lousy a dagger and robe are as melee weapons.

After I strike a decisive blow, the thief tries to back off.

Still, combat was pretty hard, so after I’d won a few battles, I went into the town to check out some of the other options. Fully healing takes only a single gold piece at the Temple of Eros, which is nice. But equally beneficial are temporary boosts to each attribute that the temple offers for 20 gold pieces. If you load up with a couple of these (strength, dexterity, or vitality) before heading out, they greatly improve your chances in combat. You can get similar boosts from potions at the alchemist’s, only these you can carry with you and use in the field at the appropriate times. Finally, when you earn a few hundred experience points, you can spend them at the guild for permanent attribute increases. As you buy these, the game re-calculates the derived statistics. All told, it’s a tight, satisfying combination of character development and economy.

Even better, you can pay experience points to change classes. If you decide you want some magic in your life, that’s only 100 or 200 experience points away.

In 7 more experience points, I can increase my dexterity or change to a sorcerer or warrior class.

I spent a couple hours fighting, building my fortune, and buying attribute increases as I tried to count the number of tiles in the land. Once I was loaded up on buffs, I headed off on the first quest lead, which I got from the inn. When I first checked into the inn, I saw three options with escalating values, and I assumed they were different quality rooms. Later, thinking I was buying a room for the night, I chose the first option. It turns out that the three options are subjects about which you’re bribing the bartender. For the subject “Ered-Morglin,” I learned:

It is a cyclops who directs the mines of Ered-Morglin. His talents as a blacksmith allowed him to make powerful relationships. However, the wise men of Bar-Tolainor suspect him of having allied with Beltrik. They promise their eternal gratitude to whoever brings them the head of the one-eyed monster.

I explored around until I found the dungeon of Ered-Morglin. Dungeons are top-down in this game, not first-person. Otherwise, they’re like exploring cities in the early Ultimas. Some enemies appear out of nowhere, just like in the wilderness, but others are in fixed locations. Secret doors are clued with little breaks in the walls, just as in Ultima IV.

Note the secret door in the wall to my left.

If there’s any way so far in which Muryaden lives up to its backstory and intent, I suppose it’s in the room descriptions that you receive while exploring the dungeon, although none of them are as bawdy as the backstory.

You see a convergent layer of manticore excrement and blood.

The remains of an orgy: the bowels of elves marinated in the blood of gnomes.

You see a statue of Grumsh impaling an elf on a lance!

The combats in the dungeon wore down my vitality to the point that I couldn’t really take any damage or I’d have to reload, but I stubbornly kept at it until I found the cyclops and managed to kill him and take his head. I also found a key beyond him that must be important somewhere. There were only two treasure chests in the dungeon; both had a modest amount of gold.

I have slain the cyclops and can now take his head.

I triumphantly carried the cyclops head to the city of Bar-Tolainor. I visited the sage, who I don’t think gave me any reward at all unless you consider a new quest a reward:

My premature ejaculation is a sign! You are the chosen one. Your destiny is to fight the libidinous Beltrik whose secret I will reveal to you. In fact Mithgul did not perish when his complex exploded. He and the demon he had summoned suffered the full effect of the brunettes. Thus they have fornicated for centuries until the effect of the malefice dissipates. The demon then became familiar with Mithgul. The archmage is daring and perverted by his experience. Had lost much of his knowledge. He renamed himself Beltrik and dedicated himself to the forces of chaos. Here is a letter of introduction to the king. Valdrin will no doubt offer you a substantial reward.

Meanwhile, from the other two auberge options back in Bar-Calenlad, I learn:

In Térégroth resides the Matriarch and her supporters. All are fanatical worshipers of Vaprak and pay bloody tributes to him. The ritual sacrifices organized in honor of the Destroyer are also cannibal orgies, where sins of flesh and money are indiscriminately consumed. This citadel has never, until now, been threatened, thanks to its high walls and its mithril door. Yet each door has its own key; that of Térégroth could also open the Matriarch’s chastity belt.

The lair of Beltrik, the lustful wizard, remains unknown to this day. The sages, however, called it Coron Raugul and claimed it was protected by an invisibility spell. They also say that it is guarded by a nigh-invincible golem. This sentinel, however, has a weak point: its diarrhea, which it can only wipe with the sheets of a spellbook cursed three times. This book is the Pnakoticus Qhultis of Count Bren-lette, also called P. Q. The golem will gladly let pass anyone who offers him a roll of this precious paper. [The joke here is that P. Q. in French is the abbreviation for toilet paper.]

So few golems in ricaine RPGs are cursed with diarrhea, and I just want to say I think it’s what’s been missing.

Getting a clue on the final quest.

Unfortunately, I ran into a technical problem that’s going to prevent me from continuing with the game without starting over. While I was exploring Ered-Morglin, testing the walls for secret doors, I found an illusory wall that let me out of the dungeon, onto a random part of the map terrain. I figured that it was a secret “back door.” By walking one space back the way I’d come, I returned to the dungeon. I didn’t think anything of it, and I finished the dungeon. Because it was closer the cyclops than the main entry, I used the “back door” to get out. I was able to turn in the quest without any problem.

I soon realized that the “back door” wasn’t that at all but a game corruption. The game still thinks I’m in the dungeon, and if I wander on the map into any coordinates that the dungeon level covers, I suddenly find myself back in the dungeon. Since there are towns and dungeons, and I think even the castle in that coverage area, that’s no good. I need to be able to enter those areas on the main map without warping to the dungeon. Unfortunately, trying to exit from the dungeon the regular way just freezes the game. I thought maybe if I found a second dungeon and entered and exited, it would work, but those aren’t on the accessible part of the map.

As far as I can get.

Fortunately, I don’t need to win it myself because “Deckard’s” web page describes what happens: The player takes the letter of introduction from the sage to King Valdrin of Gondarnost, who steps out of his harem long enough to give the player a new quest. Valdrin’s daughter was kidnapped by Beltrik, used as a “toy” for a while, then given to the Matriarch of Térégroth. Valdrin wants her back so he can marry her to the troll king, Bortrog, to seal an alliance between the cities. Valdrin also suggests that Bortrog would reward the character for killing the Matriarch.

Defeating the Matriarch. Don’t ask me why the screen shots are in this color.

The key found in Ered-Morglin turns out to be the key to Térégroth and the Matriarch’s chastity belt. The player goes to Térégroth, kills the Matriarch, recovers the chastity belt as proof, and frees the princess. The game makes a point of noting that the princess’s cell smells of urine, because that was important. The princess appears in your inventory, and from then on you can “use” her like any object for things I’ll leave to your imagination.

You return the princess to Valdrin, who does marry her to Bortrog. Bortrog rewards you for the Matriarch’s belt. But he doesn’t think his new bride is sexy enough, so he wants Beltrik’s beauty stone. The scroll found in Térégroth turns out to be the key to finding the invisible city of Coron Raugul. It’s also the item necessary to give to the golem to let you pass.

The player confronts Beltrik.

In Coron Raugul, the player defeats Beltrik and his pet demon and finds the stone, which turns out to be called “Muryaden” for whatever reason. Bringing it back to the troll king results in a congratulatory screen in which the troll king gives you the stone (after he’s done using it). His mage attunes the stone so that it will serve like a permanent Potion of Healing. The player can continue killing monsters and building his statistics if he wants.

The winning screen.

It will surprise no one that the plot elements of Muryaden aren’t my favorite parts of the game. The authors’ complaints about a certain lack of grit in the typical RPG of the period are not wrong, but the solution would lie in the future, with more complex characters, more nuanced plots, an in general better writing, not in the toilet humor of a couple of teenagers. At the same time, though, there are plenty of elements of the game that I don’t mind. I like the low-key nature of the quests. I like that the main character is more of a mercenary than a hero, and that none of his employers are sparkling clean. I like that the developers kept it small and short, understanding that they didn’t have the mechanics for an epic game. And as I said above, character development and combat are pretty tight. It earns a 24 on my GIMLET, doing best in character development, combat, economy, and gameplay (3s). That’s not a horrible score for an independent Ultima clone.

Elrik and Deckard continued their partnership with Muryaden Livre 2 in 1991. I can only hope that the extra two years matured their storytelling while preserving their inventiveness. I’m not sure what happened to them after that. “Elrik” was a pseudonym for Eric Bertrand, and there is a programmer of that name with numerous credits on Ubisoft titles, but his ludography doesn’t pick up until 2006, or 17 years after Muryaden, and I’m not sure if it’s the same developer. “Deckard” seems to be a Jean-Marc Boutillon; from an interview he gave, I don’t get the impression that he worked on anything more than these two titles.

We are going to move on to Abandoned Places: A Time for Heroes after another Britannian episode.

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/game-365-muryaden-1989/

#retro games #dos games #retro #crpg #adventure #amiga #oldcomputers #8bit #16bit #blog #repost

0 notes