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p8dri · 1 year

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ｂｌｏｎｄ, kylian mbappé

summary — breaking up with somebody you know you’ll always love, no matter what, is hard, but what’s worse is the memories that come with the breakup. only question is, are you able to rekindle what you once had? ( wc — 3.2k )

genre. sad? angst & fluff ig ! parings. mbappé x fem!reader ! tropes. breakup & makeup, flashback blond!kylian ! warnings. cursing, google translated french ! a/n was listening to frank ocean and decided to write this, requests are open, enjoy <3 PLAY MUSIC

AUGUST 28TH 2022 — LET GO. the breakup

going through life, you forever questioned the “ what if? ” such a small question can pack such a great punch. nothing is ever for sure, sooner or later all things come to their untimely end.

what does it mean, though?

what if?

there is no specific meaning, the question can be used in so many different situations, for so many different purposes and intents.

but standing in front of the man you love, you were sure that your ‘what if’ question held a punch able to knock the wind out of somebody.

“ what if we.. went on a break? ”

kylian mbappé, football superstar, the kid with the world at his feet. that same french hero, your boyfriend.

the problem with a boy practically carrying a countries football legacy on his shoulders is that it becomes his main focus. there’s no time for a relationship when you’re so occupied with striving to win your country another world cup.

breaking up with kylian was something you so deeply dreaded, because it’s undeniable that you still love him. but right now, kylian’s love was in the game, not you.

“ [Y/N], de quoi parles-tu? une pause? i don’t understand. ” ( what are you talking about? a break? )

hearing kylian stumble over his words only managed to break your heart even more. standing in front of the one person you loved, looking him straight in the eyes and telling him that you wanted time away from him hurt you more than anything you’ve ever experienced.

while you were doing this for yourself, you were also doing it for kylian. you would never want to make him feel bad or be a shitty girlfriend due to the way you would act with him during those few moments you had with him, the only reason for your foul mood knowing that the two of you would go maybe a week without talking again.

kylian hadn’t noticed how he was making you feel, and you understood. this upcoming world cup was huge for him and he needed his head in the game, solely on the game. your breakup would hurt him, sure, it was inevitable, considering he loved you just as much as you loved him, but he’d find a way to push through it. he was strong like that and that’s what you admired the most about him.

“ i mean we should take some time away from each other. ”

“ you’re breaking up with me. ” putting it like that made you feel even more like shit as you kissed your teeth, your frown bringing down almost every feature on your face. “ why, mon amour? have i done something? ” ( my love )

“ no kylian, of course not. ” you lied, your heart aching as you looked at the man in front of you, “ it’s just you’re busy, i’m busy, we barley see each other, i think this would be best. ”

furrowing his brows, kylian replied, “ is that why? [Y/N] i can make time for you, we don’t have to break up over it. ”

knowing kylian for so long, you knew he wouldn’t get it. which is why you knew breaking up with him would most likely make you look like an unreasonable bitch to him, but you had to go through with it. still, you hoped the two of you would be able to come together again maybe after the world cup when he wasn’t so distracted and distant.

“ kylian, it’s not that. we just need time away from each other. ”

letting out a scoff, kylian looked down at you unsure of whether or not you were being serious, you breaking up with him seemed so sudden and out of nowhere. looking down with a questioning look that spoke ‘are you serious?’ you nodded, your lip quivering and waterlines becoming evidently wet.

clenching his jaw, he nodded his head a few times all while staring at you and your hurt expression, but kylian just didn’t understand. you were obviously hurt by deciding to break up with him, so why were you doing it? had he done something terribly wrong that he hadn’t realized? why?

with puckered lips and a tight jaw, kylian turned around , grabbing his car keys and slamming the front door shut, all without a glance behind him. which was beneficial, because he wasn’t there to see you completely fall apart.

DECEMBER 4TH 2018 — THIS LOVE. before

“ blond, vraiment? ” ( blond, really? )

“ oui, je pense que j'aurais l'air bien, non? ” ( yes, I think I would look good, right? )

teasingly, you stepped back from the bathroom counter and looked from behind kylian’s large stature, giving him a once over through the mirror in front of the two of you, as if you were genuinely deciding whether or not he would look good. of course you knew no matter what color he made his hair he would continue to be overly attractive, but bruising his ego a little wasn’t out of the jurisdiction.

kylian put his hand on his bare chest as if he had been offended, his mouth slightly agape, causing you to giggle from behind him, your hands clutching on to his strong forearm while watching his reaction in the mirror.

in a second, kylian had turned around, grabbed you by your biceps and picked you up, causing a squeal to leave your throat as he turned you back towards the counter and sat you on it, the cold marble material meeting your bare thighs.

the two of you had woken up not even twenty minutes ago, kylian in boxers and you a nice lingerie set, immediately heading to the bathroom to brush your teeth when kylian had suddenly decided that he wanted to go blond.

sat on the counter, you were finally level with kylian, not having to break your neck to look up at him and finally being eye to eye with him.

“ bien sûr, tu aurais l'air bien, bébé. ” ( of course you’d look good, baby ) you giggled, putting your cold hands on his warm cheeks and pulling him in for a little kiss before pulling back and observing his hair, “ i still have leftover dye from that time neymar tried to bleach his hair here, we could use that? ”

with a nod kylian replied, “ where is it? ” a little shocked, your eyes widened, talk about an impulsive decision.

“ you want to dye it right now? ” again, kylian gave a small nod in response, “ alright, move. ”

kylian took a step back away from the counter, giving you enough room to jump off of it and crouch to be level with the sink cabinet. opening it up, you were met with little toiletries here and there. spotting the leftover box of hair dye, you grabbed it, placing it on the counter above your head along with a tiny hair dying mixing bowl, a brush, and gloves.

standing up and shutting the cabinet doors with your foot, you turned around to look at kylian who had a huge grin on his face. “ you’re sure you want to do this? ”

immediately kylian nodded and walked past you to sit down on the closed toilet seat, grabbing his phone from the sink counter beside him and diluting his attention to his instagram feed, relying on you to begin dyeing his hair and do a good job of it.

you’d only dyed hair once or twice, both times being neymar’s as you and kylian were close friends with him, still you were scared, you didn’t want to fuck it up so bad that kylian went bald or something.

still you put on the transparent gloves, removed the dye from its box and followed the directions on the side until you were met with the correct consistency.

kylian sat completely still as you used the brush to apply the dye to his dark hair, his focus still on his phone.

“ it kinda burns. ” he muttered, his face pouting a bit.

“ deal with it. ” you giggled, causing kylian to roll his eyes and smile.

“ feel the water, is it too hot? ”

placing his hand underneath the stream of water coming from the shower spout, kylian shook his head ‘no’ before getting on his knees and placing his head underneath the running water, clenching his eyes shut to avoid any of the toxic substance getting in them. behind him you ran your hands through his hair under the water, attempting to get the majority of the leftover dye out.

after a few minutes, with the water being completely clear, you felt you had gotten it all out as you turned off the water and grabbed the towel from beside you, running it over kylians hair as he stayed kneeled over the tub. once satisfied, you kept towel laying on his head and ushered him up, which he instantly did, groaning at the slight ache in his knees.

with a roll of your eyes and a small smile, you grabbed his biceps and led him to the bathroom mirror, where he was met with the reflection of him and you and the towel covering his new hair.

“ ready.. ” a simple shake of the head was the only answer you needed as you got on your tippy toes and removed the towel from his head in one slick motion, reveling his new hair.

“ it’s not blond blond, more white, but i like it. ” you spoke with a smile, admiring your boyfriend in the mirror.

kylian was in total shock. he’d never really done anything to his hair, always kept it that dark brown, but looking himself now, he fell in love. which sounded very egotistical on the outside, but still.

turning to his left and averting his vision down to you, who was still admiring him in the mirror, he grabbed your cheeks and pulled you into a kiss once again, his eyes closed shut in absolute adore. this one longer and more fierce than the one you had shared earlier.

pulling back a bit, he spoke, “ i love it and i love you. ”

with a giggle you looked up into his eyes and, unavoidably, at his new hair, a large smile spreading across your face as he pulled you in for another kiss.

DECEMBER 20TH 2022 — GODSPEED. after

it has been roughly four months since you had broken up with kylian, since then, no contact has passed between the two of you. lately, you have just been watching his life unfold on instagram.

the world cup had just ended two days ago, the final being france vs argentina and unfortunately, argentina were the ones to take the trophy and glory home.

you had watched every world cup game that france played, just being able to see kylian do what he loved sending a saddening yet proud warmth throughout your body.

watching france loose was what destroyed you, knowing that kylian had put so much of his time and hard work to try and win it for his county and having failed, broke your heart.

of course, kylian hadn’t cried, but kept that same monotone face, displaying how disappointed he was in himself. with three goals in the final, kylian had one the golden boot, the whole little ‘award ceremony’ he didn’t break a smile once.

what made it worse was that his birthday was only two days away, currently today. not only had he lost the most important thing in his football career only two days prior, but he’d also lost the most important person in his life only four months prior.

the striker certainly didn’t feel as if anything was going in his favor as he sat at a fancy restaurant table with some of his french teammates and family as they sung ‘happy birthday.’

“ joyeux anniversaire à vous! ” ( happy birthday to you! ) cameras from almost all angles got the shot of kylian blowing out his 24 birthday candles.

even as people cheered and clapped, kylian couldn’t feel happy. he wished you were there with him, helping him blow out the candles like you did every year, your head leaning on his shoulder as you told him how proud you were of him and that you loved him.

the vibration from his back pocket immediately made him grab the device and open the screen to his notifications, only to be met with utter disappointment. he had wished you would say happy birthday, but he also knew that you didn’t have to, that you had no right to.

kylian had come to the realization of how poorly he was treating you, but unfortunately too late. by then you two had been well been broken up for over a month and he felt like such a prick for making you feel so unimportant and belittled, he felt even more like shit due to the fact he hadn’t realized sooner.

that’s why he hadn’t attempted to reach out as well, he felt as if he didn’t deserve you, but that didn’t make him love you any less.

scrolling through his messages, he saved a photo sent from antoine griezmann of him blowing out his candles and posted it to his instagram, but not before noticing all the kind messages fans had sent him, managing for him to express a small smile.

after titling the post, “ 24 🎉🎂 merci à tous pour vos messages. 🥰 ” ( thanks everyone for your messages. ) he placed his phone on do not disturb and shut the device off, placing it on the table with the screen facing the fancy cloth as he at least tried to enjoy his birthday.

as you scrolled through your instagram, laying in bed with nothing to do with it being so late, you refreshed your feed, only to be met with kylian’s birthday post.

a frown was immediately etched on your face as you read the caption and examined the picture, his expression, outfit, the cake, anything and everything. which only caused you to reminisce the times you had spent with kylian on his birthday, your heart aching in your chest.

without a single thought, you exited the instagram app and opened messages, heading to kylian’s contact which was still pinned, your last conversation still available, a little exchange of “love you’s.” with that, you wrote out a message.

[22.34] y/n <3: happy birthday, kylian. i know it’s been a while since we’ve talked, but i hope you’re doing well and i hope you experience 24 with great laughs and endless smiles. i will always love you, there’s no changing that. i wish you all the best in life, any obstacles that come your way — you’ll beat, because that’s how you are. still, ill always be there for you.

with your thumb hovering over the blue send button, you hesitated. rereading the message over and over again, analyzing every sentence and determining whether or not it was too ‘extra’ or crossing a line. deciding to just fuck it, you sent the message, turning off your phone and throwing it on the pillow beside you as you let out a long breath. everything you had wrote was from a place of vulnerability and you hoped kylian saw it as nothing more than honesty and true feelings, other than a lame way to reach out after you had broken up, even though it kinda felt like it was.

after a not so eventful birthday party, kylian twisted the keys to his apartment and opened his door, only to be met with the cold temperature and dark room in front of him.

in that moment all he could think about was the way you would jump into his arms the second he opened the door after every single practice. he missed you, everything about you. your smell, your jokes, your laughs, your simple presence.

sighing, he walked into the hall, closed the door behind him and locked it. heading to the living room of his apartment, he threw his keys on the couch and sat down beside them, throwing his head back and closing his eyes as the windows on his right brought in a breeze and a beautiful view of the center of paris. the sounds of cars and people walking down the street sounded throughout his flat.

the specialized ringtone he had specifically set for you is what caused him to jump up and open his phone, clicking on the notification from you and reading the message.

his heart broke.

reading the message several times and processing the words differently and better each time, he didn’t know how to reply, or if he even had the right to.

he could practically sense your pain through the words on his screen and replying back with a smile ‘thank you’ didn’t feel right, or yet enough.

so, he did something irrational. he grabbed his keys, left his apartment, caught a cab and told the only address he could think of, yours.

you were still in bed, attempting to fall asleep in nothing but the darkness surrounding you when a knock sounded at your apartment door.

a groan left your lips as you sat up and tiredly slung your legs over the side of the mattress. only wearing a pair of a matching tank top and short pajama shorts, you really hoped it wasn’t someone important as you opened the door.

it took you a few seconds to adjust the hallway lights, but once you opened your eyes, you swore you were dreaming.

“ kylian- ”

before you could even process that your ex boyfriend was standing in front of you, you were brought into his warm embrace as he held you close to his chest.

with your head hovering over his heart, you were able to hear the fast beating as he clung onto you. for a few seconds, you were too surprised to actually hug him back, but soon you melted into his touch and wrapped your arms around him.

after a few minuets of you two just hugging, you realized nothing was going to chnage unless you spoke up, “ kylian. ” you pulled back a little as his arms fell from your body and to his sides, “ why are you here? ”

“ because i love you and i was stupid. ” his words were full of honesty as he looked down at you with the most sincere look you think you’ve ever seen from him, “ i treated you like shit and i was too ignorant to notice and i’m so so sorry [Y/N]. your message, it was my wake up call. i should’ve come here sooner, but i was scared, scared you would hate me. ”

“ i could never hate you. ” your voice was on the edge of a whisper as you looked up at the man you loved.

“ good, because i could never not love you. ” with that, he pulled you in for a kiss and it felt like you were exactly where you were supposed to be with the person you were destined to love for the rest of your life. that familiar warmth spreading all the way from your dizzied head to your toes as you stood on them to melt into the kiss more.

you would always love kylian, till the time you die.

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